Doug Loves Movies - Nikki Glaser, Mike Birbiglia, Ben Bailey, and Todd Sklar Guest

Episode Date: June 30, 2014

Live from the Gramercy Theatre in New York City, Doug welcomes Nikki Glaser, Mike Birbiglia, Ben Bailey, and Todd Sklar to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Califor...nia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, everybody! My... Okay, hang on a second. I'm busy right now. My name is Doug, and I love movies.
Starting point is 00:00:44 This is I Love Movies. Best one ever. Coming to you once again from the Gramercy Theater in New York City. Oh boy, I gotta sit down for this. It's Monday, June 30th, 2014, Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2, Judgment Day of the Dead Man Walking Tall. You know my favorite thing right now? My favorite thing right now is people writing me on Twitter going,
Starting point is 00:01:14 what is going on when you say all those movies at the beginning? What the fuck is happening? Three Amigos, Worlds Worlds and of Watchmen Don't Leave. Which is a movie I'd totally go see. Like a rom-com about Watchmen and their romantic entanglements. Watchmen
Starting point is 00:01:37 Don't Leave. Let me see your name tags, New York City. Oh, wow. I got to say, just glancing out at them, they're like artistically very creative. Like there's none that are, no one is like, look at how big my sign is, except for Morgan over there.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Like everyone else went with something that's just regular sized and got a lot going on of course we know brian from uh from last night his life of brian what's this catch catch me tiff you can because your name's tiffany nice you know there's a movie with your name in the title lily wonka the chocolate factory that's a that'd be an awesome feminist spin I don't. Lily Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That'd be an awesome feminist spin. Like if Willy Wonka was a girl. Sans Willy.
Starting point is 00:02:35 There's a guy with a Mr. T doll that says, I pity the fool who don't pick Ed. Are Mr. T and Ed are tight? Thumbs up, yes. And a salute. Alright. I know Mr. T works with the deaf people a lot. Mute people. Okay, you guys.
Starting point is 00:02:56 I can't talk about them all and you can't hold your arms up for that long. What about the balconies? Is there action up there? That's pretty awesome that you made a name tag, and probably that's why you're sitting in the balcony, because you were putting some finishing touches on it at 7.30. But thank you guys for bringing those,
Starting point is 00:03:18 and extra good luck to you. It's happened, though. I've had some guests are belligerent I'm going to get one from the balcony they make it happen I will see you again my friends here that want to do this again right here at the Gramercy Theatre
Starting point is 00:03:39 for another Doug Loves Movies on October 6th of this calendar year now it's time for Watch This, Not That. The number one movie at the box office right now is Transformers 4, AIDS of Extinction. Seriously, though, wouldn't it be great if the Transformers fought AIDS Wouldn't it be great if the Transformers fought AIDS and won? If the Transformers made AIDS extinct, then I'd go see that movie. That'd be a fun fantasy movie like Django Unchained.
Starting point is 00:04:21 The number two movie is 22 Jump Street. TJ Miller won't return my calls, but I'm having some folks from Jump Street on the show very soon, so watch 22 Jump Street, not Transformers 4. This has been Watch This, Not That, totally biased with
Starting point is 00:04:37 Kamau Bell edition. Austin, Texas, I'm doing stand-up in the Cap City Comedy this Saturday at 420, and St. Louis, Missouri, I'm doing stand-up at the Cap City Comedy this Saturday at 4.20, and St. Louis, Missouri I'm doing stand-up next Monday, July 7th at the Firebird all of my dates, deets, and links are at DougLovesMovies.com
Starting point is 00:04:54 the prize bags are complicated I brought a little one because my stuff was little, I just brought a copy of Gateway Doug 2 For forced fun that is thank you that is going to come out on uh july 8th and then i also included in the bag from sorry to dig it out um from our friends at kind tray.com i've given away this is the third one i
Starting point is 00:05:24 think these cool wooden trays that open up and close because they've got little magnets on all the corners so you can just stash stuff in there. They're not a sponsor or anything. They just sent me some, so I'm happy to tell you about it. And then there's just lots of stuff in this other bag.
Starting point is 00:05:42 All this stuff gives away who the guests are, so let's just get them the hell out here. As you can see, there's just lots of stuff in this other bag. All this stuff gives away who the guests are. So let's just get them the hell out here. As you can see, there's four stools. And that means we've got four great guests because New York City is full of great guests. Please give a big warm welcome to Nikki Glaser, Todd Sklar, Ben Bailey, and Mike Birbiglia. Hey, you guys. Hello.
Starting point is 00:06:17 All right. That's a lot of people. Wow. A lot of people. All right. Are we supposed to say something? No, I kind of have a let's see who's the first to talk game that I like to play. And Ben Bailey's our winner, everybody.
Starting point is 00:06:37 All right. Benny B. Nice one. It's a heezy. Yeah, way to play it. Is that something you want to win? I don't know. It's sort of like usually the most obnoxious person on the panel will chime in first.
Starting point is 00:06:51 But other times someone just feels like they have something they want to say. It's a friendly environment. You know, I try to run a tight ship, but that's impossible. Because I'm high out of my mind. So am I. But I'm so happy that my mind. So am I. But I'm so happy that you're doing this, Ben. Ben Bailey, it's his first time on the show, you guys. All right.
Starting point is 00:07:15 I, too, am happy to be here. Cash Cab has been my favorite thing to watch when it's the only thing on on the plane. When there's a cooking show, I don't want to turn it off. But cash cab, I'm in. I've known Ben since the time we spent the most time together
Starting point is 00:07:36 was the night before he got the job on cash cab. So I knew he was up for it and there was a chance he was going to be the cash cab guy. I didn't know that I wouldn he was up for it and there was a chance he was going to be the cash cab guy I didn't know that I wouldn't stop hearing about it for like a decade like I love it
Starting point is 00:07:52 I love it it's fun when the subject of cash cab comes up because I know a lot about it because of everything Ben told me about the process and I auditioned for it when they were trying to do an LA version which makes no fucking sense. An L.A. version of Cash Cab.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Okay, so you're going to hire a guy who is always lost. It's called delivery. People call for a cab. You go to their house. Yeah, you win money if the driver finds your destination. No offense, L.A. cab drivers. Don't listen to this. Ben and I actually came up together as cab drivers.
Starting point is 00:08:28 And then you got the entertainment job from it. Our day jobs as comedians, right? All right. Yeah, I was a cab driver who got a show as a cabbie and then decided that I would pursue a career in show business. How lucky that that show existed. Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing.
Starting point is 00:08:49 What are the odds? Yeah. Otherwise, I would probably be a cab driver. Just driving a cab. Yeah. Was the previous host, was it Alan Fitt, had that show before? It's all I know. Competition.
Starting point is 00:09:03 What was that about running a tight ship? Yeah, exactly. I thought this would be a really docile panel as these things go. Can I just say, this woman is texting and I don't care. It's just that every time you text, I see your face lit up by your phone. She's just texting, sleepwalk with me is my
Starting point is 00:09:21 favorite. Oh, that's so nice of you. Well, now I feel terrible. She's like, is he right in front of me? Am I dreaming? Hashtag dreamy. All right, more about Cash Cab later, because I saw a lot of parallels between that movie and one of Scorsese's
Starting point is 00:09:45 early films. Alice doesn't live here anymore. Nikki Glaser is here, you guys. I did it. I'm here. Nikki G. Hey. The third funniest person on the internet
Starting point is 00:10:01 after me and number one Ron Funches. Yeah, we have that title for the next hundred episodes of At Midnight. So I'm very proud and excited. What's that? Number one? Ron Funches?
Starting point is 00:10:18 We did At Midnight last Tuesday. Yep, and it was the hundredth episode and they made a big deal out of it, being like, these are the best we've ever had, and they're going to blow you away. It was a lot of pressure, right? I know.
Starting point is 00:10:33 I had to blow a lot of people. You did. Away. Away. Away. Away. Wow. But yeah, it was super pressurized,
Starting point is 00:10:42 but I think we all still had a good time. Yeah, it was fun. Mostly because you and Chris and Ron and I were all friends. And so it wasn't really a competition. It was just proof once again that people don't think women are as funny as men. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:57 And that people are assholes. I really failed my gender that day. People are assholes who don't know any better. A big, funny teddy bear of a man is going to win every time. Yes, he is. He's so fucking cute. Whether it be him or me. Yeah, Ron Funches is too adorable.
Starting point is 00:11:17 I'm familiar with Ron Funches. He's just fun in a can. He's a big, happy fella? A jolly? Yeah, but he's not jolly in the way you'd assume. He's a big happy fella? A jolly? Yeah, but he's not jolly in that, you know, the way you'd assume.
Starting point is 00:11:27 He's more like giggly, happy. Like if you poke him, he'll giggle a little bit? He's just like, he, he, he. That's pretty. It's like Michael Jackson
Starting point is 00:11:37 ate three or four Michael Jacksons. Well, that would be a feat. That's Mike Birbiglia you guys Thank you Another return guest I'm always happy to have Been friends for a while
Starting point is 00:12:00 I've enjoyed all of your You've found some interesting avenues For success It's hard for comedians It's hard for a comic to go a while. I've enjoyed all of your... You've found some interesting avenues for success. You know, like it's hard for comedians to... It's hard for a comic to go, this is a one-man show, without people going, shut up. You know, one-man show, fuck you. That's what we're all doing
Starting point is 00:12:15 every night, everywhere we go. But you really do something different and then turned it into a successful motion picture. Oh, thanks. That was also very creatively handled, considering it was just based on you standing around talking. Sleepwalk with me is what his reference is. Yeah, these are totally compliments that I'm giving you right now.
Starting point is 00:12:35 And you've got a big tour coming up. Yeah, I'm on a 100-city tour presently, and people can come out. I'm at the Chicago Theater in the fall. I'm in Montreal next month, which Nikki's at as well. Yeah, I couldn't name a hundred cities. Yeah, there's a lot of like
Starting point is 00:12:51 York, Pennsylvania's in there. You know what I mean? Wink, wink. That's on the tour. There's a lot of, yeah. I did Fargo. Nice. And that was cool.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Are you like an extra on that TV show? Did you walk through a scene? Yeah, yeah. I did a cameo on the television show. They had some fun casting on that show. Like fucking Key and Peele were on it. Did you see the Fargo TV show? No.
Starting point is 00:13:20 It's amazing. Really? It's fucking unbelievable. It's supposed to be. I haven't seen it either. It's like another Coen Brothers film. I am not fucking with you. It's awesome. It's It's fucking unbelievable. It's every week. I haven't seen it either. It's like another Coen Brothers film. I am not fucking with you. It's awesome.
Starting point is 00:13:27 It's my favorite TV show. Yeah. It's like Breaking Bad good. Can I just point something out about Fargo real quick? Sure. I saw the movie Fargo, obviously, when it was new way back when. And you know at the beginning it says, these events are based on a true story.
Starting point is 00:13:43 No, this is a true story, right? So Fargo, the TV show, just recently started. I'm flipping around. I catch an interview with William H. Macy about the making of the movie Fargo. And he says that he goes up to the Coen brothers and he says, hey, guys, I'd love to take a look at the case file, the actual case file for this, so I could get to know my character a little better and really understand things. And they look at him like he's crazy and say,
Starting point is 00:14:11 there is no case file, Bill. This is made up. This is fiction. This is a made-up story. And he's like, but it says on the first page of the script, it says, this is a true story. And the Coen brothers are like, yeah, but that's part of the movie. It's within a movie.
Starting point is 00:14:38 The characters in the movie can say everything's true. So it's not true. Yeah. Fargo, it's not true. Yeah. Fargo is... It's not true. Not true. No, it's not true. The TV show goes... The TV show goes even further
Starting point is 00:14:54 and at the beginning of every episode it says this is a true story. The names have been changed to protect some people and in other cases, shit's been made up or something like that. There's like three whole panels of disclaimer at the beginning.
Starting point is 00:15:09 But it's always over a cool shot of something that's happening in the very first scene. It's an amazing show. It's cinematic. It's like a movie. I haven't seen... I can't totally... It reminded me, without having seen it, of True Detective
Starting point is 00:15:25 oh yeah wait no no I'm sorry I'm sorry the detective brothers if you watch it that's when you say like this taste smells like something without having seen it
Starting point is 00:15:39 it reminds you of True Detective I just want to be clear about that oh I thought you were laughing because I got it wrong. It's called True Detective, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought I got it wrong, and then it's actually Detective Brothers. I prefer to call it True Dick. I shortened it.
Starting point is 00:15:56 No, but I'm enough of a follower of pop culture that I understand what it is that people like about something. And you just sort of hear, even though you try not to hear the story details I just get the sense that True Detective is similarly like watching a feature film every week and wanting to see the next one immediately that's what I really loved about how I saw Fargo because I didn't get into it until the end
Starting point is 00:16:18 so I just watched them I think you're absolutely right and I've never seen either of them either I've actually never listened to this podcast but I feel like if I did it would be like this that's true but I think you're wrong about that
Starting point is 00:16:33 why would I be wrong that's based on a true story though yes it's true and finally Todd Sklar is here everybody he finally said something when no one else was talking. I'm enjoying you guys. This is fun. No, no, please enjoy yourself.
Starting point is 00:16:51 I like a quiet guest. I'm just warming up. I'm just warming up. Okay, but also your whole, the reason I like having you on the show is because you're actually invested in the games and make your best effort to do well at them. This is true. I planned to one day dethrone Sam at one point. Wow. actually invested in the games and uh you know make your best effort to do well at them this is true i plan to one day uh dethrone sam at one point wow that's right he's listening that's a goal i'm coming that's a fucking goal it is but he lost the other night oh spoiler if you haven't heard it you haven't heard it yet sometimes he'll get boxed out you know and he just sits there and
Starting point is 00:17:22 you know looks like he's gonna explode but sad you know, looks like he's going to explode. But... Sad thing about Todd, as I understand it, is he was formerly a member of the Sklar Brothers comedy duo. Ah, unfortunately not. Yeah, I was like, there's no room for a third person. We'd call ourselves the Sklar Triplets if we had a third person in the act. I went the route of cab driver instead. It could still be the Sklar Brothers. But I'm going to work my way into the Sklar brothers.
Starting point is 00:17:45 I feel like you've got to get to a certain level. I'm getting there. I have a brother. We are also Sklar brothers. We have a very different thing now. You've got to start a Twitter called the other Sklar brothers. You've got to go with Sklar siblings.
Starting point is 00:18:01 How about the other brothers Sklar? The real Sklar brothers. I was in a band in college called The Real Led Zeppelin, which was pretty fun. That's trippy, man. That's pretty good. That is not a true story. It's based on a true story. Fargo, fuck yourself.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Loose interpretation. But Todd made a motion picture that I enjoyed a great deal. It's still sitting on a chair in my home, waiting to be watched again, because I enjoyed it so much and he was kind enough to send me a copy. It's called Awful Nice. Thanks, man. Awful Nice, and it's really funny. Has anybody here seen it?
Starting point is 00:18:38 All right, do yourself a favor. Yeah, we got one. And you liked it? Be honest. Be honest. What? It sucked? Oh, hilarious. Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:47 You forced on him. Hilarious and sucked are so similar sounding. That's awesome. Yeah, that's great. That guy thought it was hilarious and everyone else will. I pledged to you. Write to me on Twitter. If you don't like it, how much could it possibly cost to watch it right now?
Starting point is 00:19:03 Right now, I have no idea. It's 99 cents next week on iTunes. I know that. Okay, so next week. So don't buy it, how much could it possibly cost to watch it right now? Right now, I have no idea. It's 99 cents next week on iTunes. I know that. Don't buy it right now. Buy it next week on iTunes for 99 cents. And then if you write to me and you didn't like it, I owe you a dollar. You're going to make a penny on this deal.
Starting point is 00:19:19 I'm going to go double or nothing. I'm going to double his dollar. He's going to double it. We are each in for a dollar. We're going in for a dollar. Now you have a reason to pester two people that you should just leave alone. I'm in for a dollar as well. But yeah, I want people to watch it because I enjoyed it a great deal. And are you presently starting another film?
Starting point is 00:19:36 Or have you done another one since then? We had a TV show. I think we got fired from it today, actually. We're still figuring that out. There's no better way to celebrate than with Doug Loves Movies. We have a TV thing, maybe, and then there's another movie we're making this summer, hopefully. So hopefully getting the next one going.
Starting point is 00:19:53 We're talking to the real Squire Brothers about that one. Oh, cool. I don't know if we're going to get them. If it's any consolation, when this airs, you'll have been fired last week. Yeah, that's true. That's a good thing. I'll already be on to my next thing by then. I'll have my next gig. You've already had a week to heal.
Starting point is 00:20:08 That's true. That's very true. I don't think they say errors about podcasts on the internet, but this should be available tomorrow if all goes well. It drops. It drops.
Starting point is 00:20:20 No, it's airing. My shows are like Tom Cruise. We make them on the edge of tomorrow. Oh. Well done. That was like, you couldn't really laugh, but you wanted to respect it. It's not ha-ha funny.
Starting point is 00:20:38 It's just, well done. Did Dimitri write that for you? All right. Dimitri Lipkin. Playwright. Did I just riff a Dimitri thing or something? Did I say one of his jokes? Mike was implying that a playwright by the name of Dimitri Lipkin
Starting point is 00:21:01 had written that last bit that you did. It could be something somebody else said. So it's based on a true story. It's based on a true story. It's based on a Dimitri Lipkin story. It's based on a short film starring the Sklar brothers. Ben Bailey, it says on IMDb. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Which I like to read because IMDb. Yes, you are. Oh, it's great. I'd say it every time. Was that Lipkin again, do you think? Rarely fails me. That was a vintage Lipkin. It's prolific today.
Starting point is 00:21:38 When did you discover that that was a thing you could say? Was that like a great moment in your life? I don't know how I stumbled into it. I want to like see a videotape of you realizing that moment. Wouldn't that be great? Just in the shower one day? Yeah. It's just good to have a joke.
Starting point is 00:21:56 It's good to have a joke where the whole joke is in the thing you're mentioning. As soon as I say IMDB, I know exactly what to say next. Because IMDB, I know exactly what to say next. That is so good. Because I am DB. You are. According to those guys over at DB, you have an uncredited role in Delivery Man?
Starting point is 00:22:17 Yes. Yes, I do. Why is it uncredited, and what do you do in it? I hope you're not one of his children. I think Vince Vaughn wanted to be uncredited in that one as well. That is music to my ears, Mike B. I was cut out of the film. Oh, so that's not uncredited, that's cut out.
Starting point is 00:22:39 That's cut out. I didn't know until just now, having consulted IMDB, that it was uncredited. Wait, that's how you found out? Yes. Just now? Just now, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:52 You looked up your own IMDB today? Dude, I've been going to IMBB all these years. Don't fucking judge me. You started it. I'm not in the backseat of your cab. Stop fucking with me. Oh, yeah, that's my follow-up question. It's not as much a question as a comment. They tell people before they get in the cash cab
Starting point is 00:23:18 that they're getting into the cash cab. No, they don't. They don't? Really? No. Really? Those people, really, that's their real surprise when the lights go off and they're in the cash cab? And then they get out and sign the releases?
Starting point is 00:23:30 Yes. And then they get back in? Right after I say, let's take a ride in the cash cab, I pull over and get out. Classic. Classic. Movie magic, everybody. That's how they do it. Are people ever furious?
Starting point is 00:23:44 Are people ever like, no, the Flatiron Building! I'm like, 15 minutes, just read the papers. We've got theater tickets! I leave them in there, and the crew and I get out and play a little ball-bouncing gambling game on the sidewalk while we wait for them to sign their release forms.
Starting point is 00:24:06 And I have to study my questions, too. Do people hem and haw about signing their release, or are they all pretty much up for it? They just sign it. Most of them just sign it. Nobody walks away? A couple of people have walked away. Weird. They have to go find another cab?
Starting point is 00:24:20 They have to go and fuck themselves. That's what they have to do. You don't want to ride in the cash cab. Fuck you. Go do something else. I don't care what it is. No, I'm just kidding. My favorite one ever was when... People bailed out for different reasons.
Starting point is 00:24:35 I had someone say they were in the witness protection program. So they could use a fake name. I had a woman say that she worked for the CIA and couldn't be on TV. And I had several different couples say, we can't play because... Oh, wow. Holy cow.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Of course that would happen, right? This is not my wife. We can't play because we came to play. This is not my boyfriend. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I feel like there's a way around that. They're like, we thought this was Taxi Cab Confessions. We hail the wrong cab.
Starting point is 00:25:05 That's probably why there isn't a Vegas edition, because you'd never get anybody. We actually did a Vegas edition, though. They did? Yeah, we did with, but it was like the nightclub acts playing for charity. Oh, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:18 All right. That's that whole story. That show's gonna, it'll come back at some point, right? I don't think so, no. Really? People miss it. Well, but they sold it.
Starting point is 00:25:28 It's been sold. It's owned by Nuvo TV. Oh, so they just basically just sell all the reruns? They sold them all the reruns that Adam Benson indicated. Because it's pretty evergreen, the episodes. And along with that, all the rights to make it. Nobody can make it until that deal is up in three years. Yeah, who do we write to
Starting point is 00:25:46 but I still have the cab call your congressman just do your own man yeah can't you just start your own do it on your own that'd be so sad
Starting point is 00:25:55 if you just drove around picking people up alright your first question oh shit we're already at a red light challenge I can't get over how much I love this breakfast club t-shirt that you're wearing in the front row Oh shit, we're already at a red light challenge.
Starting point is 00:26:09 I can't get over how much I love this Breakfast Club t-shirt that you're wearing in the front row. Oh, nice. I just called that out. Do you love it because your arms are covering up the two girls in the cast? You can only see the dudes. Oh, there you go. Yes. Oh, that's good. Doug, you would have liked this, you're a Breakfast Club fan. Love it. Did you hear the Molly Ringwald episode of This American Life they did a few weeks ago? Oh, it was's good. Doug, you would have liked this. You're a Breakfast Club fan.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Love it. Did you hear the Molly Ringwald episode of This American Life they did a few weeks ago? Oh, it was so good. So, Molly, it's a really good thing for people to listen to. Molly Ringwald showed her daughter the Breakfast Club for the first time. I think her daughter's 11. And then they talk about it? And then they talk about it.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Wow. It is really. Thanks, Mom. I'm hungry. Do you have any kids yet, Mike? No, no. I have a cat named Mazzy. All right.
Starting point is 00:26:52 I want to book Mazzy on the show. Watch Sleepwalk with me. And just get down and talk about it. Just find out. What does a cat think of this movie? Was the cat there long enough to have been there when the actual events happened? No.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Sadly, my other cat, Ivan, who's now passed away, was there for that. And then we lost Ivan last summer. I take cats very seriously, so I can't lie. Thanks, Mike. We have some tissues and a car waiting outside. I didn't mean to do that to you. It's called The Fault in Our Cats.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Now, you are in The Fault in Our Stars, which I probably had heard before I saw it, but when I saw it, I was still surprised when you showed up. Me too. I thought I was uncredited like ban and delivery man it does say your name in the beginning yeah right in the opening credits i think so yeah i think it does so i was like whoa mike verbiglia and then you are the closest thing to comic relief that that movie has i'm in two scenes in the movie and and my two scenes are both in the trailer for the movie,
Starting point is 00:28:08 because they couldn't squeeze anything else comedic. Right, they didn't want to make the movie look like a total bummer, which is exactly what it is. It's sad from the get-go. I think they didn't want to, yeah. I think when you're selling movies, and it's a beautiful movie, it's a lovely movie, and I saw it twice and I cried both times,
Starting point is 00:28:26 but I think it's hard to sell movies where people know they're going to cry. If somebody's like, Doug, if you don't cry soon, you're going to die. I will pop in that movie. Because it will get the job done. Those kids are so likable,
Starting point is 00:28:42 and it's just so fucked up that they have cancer and that everyone treats them so weird. It's really well done and upsetting. I was in the I don't know if you guys saw it I was the cancer support group leader in this film
Starting point is 00:28:57 and the kids in the group had cancer. They're actual cancer survivors and kids presently with cancer. And it was really, it was really cool. They were all like super fun. We hung out with them for a couple of days and like Shailene Woodley,
Starting point is 00:29:13 who's like a huge star and like everything and was so cool to all of them and talk to them all the time. It wasn't like, it wasn't like an us, them, sort of we're the actors, blah, blah, blah. So it was pretty great. I mean, there's a good group of people who made that movie, I feel like. That would be pretty fun. Yeah, I mean,
Starting point is 00:29:29 fuck you kids with cancer. We're actors. We are major Hollywood actors. And you little pricks can stay the fuck out of it. That's what I kind of, to be honest, I didn't know any of the people in advance. I kind of thought that's what it was going to be like. Yeah. It's not that hard to imagine. Yeah. At least you didn't know any of the people in advance. I kind of thought that's what it was going to be like. It's not that hard to imagine.
Starting point is 00:29:46 At least you didn't have to be in that scene with Sean Penn and I Am Sam where some of the actors are not mentally handicapped and others are. And they're all saying wacky dialogue to each other. That's got to be the weirdest thing to do. Is that a real thing? To fake him out, they had people who weren't mentally challenged? I a real thing? They had to fake him out? They had people who weren't mentally challenged? I don't think they were trying to fake anybody out.
Starting point is 00:30:12 That was such an earnest snippet of conversation. Punked wasn't a show yet. That does sound like the makings of a great reality show. But you know, that's the movie they're mostly making fun of in Tropic Thunder, I think, is just how fully R-word Sean Penn goes in I Am Sam. But he and another actor are both, you know, they're actors,
Starting point is 00:30:44 and then there's some gentleman with actual Down syndrome, and they're all standing around trying to make an answering machine message, and the punchline is one of them says, if it's an outgoing message, shouldn't you be more outgoing? You know, like more energy or whatever? Like, yeah, that's the kind of joke that they give to one of the guys that's just
Starting point is 00:31:01 an actor, not, that wasn't said by one of the handicapped individuals. And every time I see it, it brings me the deepest combination of joy and sadness. I felt the same way about the other sister. Oh, the other sister is crazy. Yes. It's so insane.
Starting point is 00:31:21 But at least they don't mix in any people. It just seems like you'd be mocking them to their face all day if you're shooting a scene with them and pretending to... You'd think they'd know what... Maybe they're smart enough to know what's up. I think they prefer it to their face. Yeah, right? The guy that was on Life Goes On, Corky.
Starting point is 00:31:42 The guy that plays Corky, yeah. Yeah, he seemed to get... The guy that plays Corky. Yeah, he seemed to get... He knew what he was there for. He knew the role he was playing. Or maybe they're not smart enough and no one gets hurt. Nikki Blazer. I'm serious. Nikki, please.
Starting point is 00:31:56 That's awful. They are airing this nationally. Nikki, MTV just called and they want to cancel you again. Oh, fuck. Can they do that? Can they double cancel you? It is weird
Starting point is 00:32:16 that we live in a time where if you have a show, I mean, I'm not sure this is something that happened to Nikki and Sarah, but if you have a show and you say the wrong thing in the wrong way at the wrong time, someone could say, you if you have a show and you say the wrong thing in the wrong way at the wrong time, someone could say you don't have a show anymore. It's scary. That happened to Pete Holmes
Starting point is 00:32:31 just from you telling his jokes. Oh, Pete, I love you. I love you, Pete. Thank you, Mike. I love you dearly and you're my good friends. I think you're hilarious. Thank you, Mike. I love you dearly, and you're my good friends. I think you're hilarious. She was getting way too serious. That was perfect.
Starting point is 00:32:51 But now let's talk about SCOTUS. No, we're not going to do that. I don't have any hobbies, and I'm rarely in a lobby. Let's not even talk about it. No reason to get into it. Have you guys been to the movies lately? Let's start with Nikki over there. I just left Fault in Our Stars.
Starting point is 00:33:13 What, walked out before it was over? No, I just came straight here from Fault in Our Stars. What miracle makeup do you have to change your puffy face? I didn't cry. What? I challenged myself going in because puffy face? I didn't cry. What? I challenged myself going in because I knew everyone cried. You wooden monster. I know.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Right after the joke I just made, I'm a sociopath, clearly. Yeah, I went and my roommate brought a bunch of Kleenex, but I just didn't. I had to hold them back. It was a struggle, but it was like a challenge I gave myself. Oh, so you did fight it, though. Oh, I fought it, yeah. They're going to come out. They're going to come out when you least expect it.
Starting point is 00:33:47 You're going to start crying. Yeah, I'll feel it. It's going to be weird. It's going to be like a bus drives by with Shailene Woodley on the cover of InStyle, and you're just going to lose your shit. You're going to be like, where's her thing for her breathing? Why is she modeling without it? I do know what I'm going to go as for Halloween this year, though.
Starting point is 00:34:06 It's like you have an accessory. You've got to drag that stupid tank around all night. I know, that would be a burden. Why didn't anyone help her? Go as him. He could have his fake leg underneath his pants. I'm sorry. I did love it, and Mike was so good.
Starting point is 00:34:25 And I also forgot he was in it until his face, and I was just, it was so, you were so good. Is that why you didn't cry? It does take you out of it a little bit. You know, the guy Mike that you know is in charge of the support group. But no, I really, I bought it hook, line, and sinker. I was very, probably cried multiple times. Someone should have helped her with that tank at the Dan Frank house. You're absolutely right.
Starting point is 00:34:50 Right? What? What's happening? I didn't cry at it, but that's only because I haven't seen it. Right. That's the best way to not cry at that movie is just not see it. But I think even just thinking about it made me a little teary. Just going in knowing it's about knowing it's about kids with cancer.
Starting point is 00:35:06 It's a bummer. I'm going to cry about it after the show, and I haven't seen it. First thing I'm doing. I wish somebody would come in and say, I'm Patch Adams, and somebody punch him in the face. That's what I was thinking Mike was there to do, was to be the Patch Adams guy. He is the Patch Adams of Faults of Our Stars.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Please, please cut thats of Our Stars. Please, please cut that out of this podcast. Only if you take off the clown outfit. God damn it! I have a question, Mike. Did you write that Jesus song?
Starting point is 00:35:41 Yeah, I did. It's, uh... Oh, so you get, like, a song credit at the end? Yeah, so I play guitar in the movie. That's big money, dude. That is big money.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Oh, no, it ain't. That's huge money. Finally, cancer does something for somebody. No, it's, uh... No, I play guitar in the movie, and it's in the script
Starting point is 00:36:03 that I play a song. It is in the stage direction, but I never said, uh is in the stage direction, but I never said, in the screen direction, but I never said what the lyrics were, and so I came up with this song, and it's just like three chords, and it's like, Christ is our friend, and he'll be there till the end. And I played it all day. All day. And yeah, it's in there. You probably just made like $8 doing that.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Just singing right there. That's a licensing thing. That's all I do all day. Anytime anybody plays it or sings it, you are getting paid. Now I got to pay him for singing his song on my show? I was hoping they would do sort of the Anna Kendrick thing where they do sort of a Cups remix on the radio. A whole music video.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Get some of that Top 40 money. You really were hoping that, weren't you? Yeah, I was, genuinely. I put in an inquiry. Have you been to the cinema lately, Mike? Yeah, I saw a wonderful David Wayne film called They Came Together.
Starting point is 00:37:01 Yes! I have not seen that yet, but I want to. Which is all out funny, and I know it's on iTunes right now, so it's the same place that you're listening to this podcast. Oh, yeah, just jump over. Is it on Stitcher? That's another place to listen to fun.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Is it on Roku? How about Roku? Are you mocking Nicky's great joke? What about... Yes, he is. No, I'm not mocking it. Just asking more questions. I saw They Came Together,
Starting point is 00:37:32 and then that movie is so damn funny. It really came together? I haven't seen it. It is. It's Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, and yeah, that's hilarious. Yeah, lots of people from the state pop in as they do
Starting point is 00:37:45 in David Wayne movies Michael Ian Black is great in it yeah David Wayne awesome see that you guys I want to see it
Starting point is 00:37:52 and last night on DVD I watched The Long Goodbye again one of my favorites but that's not in the theater right now but people should watch that anyway
Starting point is 00:37:59 I bet somewhere in New York that's in a theater I have a theory that you can find any Altman movie at any time in New York somewhere yeah that's at the film forum probably have a theory that you can find any Altman movie at any time in New York somewhere. Yeah, that's at the
Starting point is 00:38:05 film forum, probably. I bet you none of them are playing anywhere tonight. But it's a good point, though, that they do have some amazing movies that do pop up in the repertory or whatever, but you watch it at home? Yeah, my wife and I. That's the one with
Starting point is 00:38:21 Elliot Gould. And it's got one of the great cat scenes. Ellie Goulding's in it? What movie? I love her. And Ellie Kemper's in it as well. Really? Yeah, it's an unusually year diverse cast.
Starting point is 00:38:39 But it does have some of the great cat scenes, I think, of all time in film. Have you ever seen the film? Have you guys seen it? What film are we talking about? The Long Goodbye. Oh, The Long Goodbye, yeah. Yeah, it's the story of this guy who his cat won't leave. It's about two hours trying to get his fucking cat.
Starting point is 00:38:59 He's just in the door going, goodbye. He can't afford to pay it anymore. Goodbye. Mike's getting upset. in the door going goodbye you can't afford to pay it anymore goodbye they know what is it really upset he's got a thing about cats mike look at him i'm just in my head i'm just thinking about how i how they got the cat to do all this stuff in the movie i mean they must have starved the cat because the cat uh like you know wanted to eat this food so badly and he the cat's jumping all over the place jumps on elliot gould's shoulder and does all this stuff and it's uh it's pretty wild it's great it's like well the ultimate it's the ultimate youtube cat video it's the original youtube cat video is it supposed to startle you when the cat jumps on him no that's what cats
Starting point is 00:39:43 mostly do in movies is jump out to startle the audience as much as the person on screen. No, no, it's not to startle. I think it's to feel a kinship with the cat. Because the cat is the closest relationship that he has in the film. There's a point where he goes
Starting point is 00:39:59 to the store to buy cat food and the guy at the cat food store is like you got a cat? And he's like yeah. And the guy's like you got a cat? He's like no I got a girl. He's like I don't got a girl I got a cat. And then you're really
Starting point is 00:40:16 supposed to sort of buy into this idea that he loves the fucking cat. Have you heard This American Life where they talk to the cat? Oh yeah that's an extraordinary episode. It's in five parts. Nikki also brought for the prize bag some Nikki and Sarah t-shirts,
Starting point is 00:40:34 like three of them, so that's very generous of her. Canceled twice. And Todd brought a copy of... a Netflix copy of his movie Awful Nice. Wow. Wow. He's just asking that you send it back after you watch it.
Starting point is 00:40:57 Or he said, fuck it, I'll pay whatever they charge me for it. But don't do that to him. Watch it and then tweet. What's your Twitter handle? Uh, Colonel Sklar. Colonel Sklar. Colonel is such an easy name to spell. Is it C-O-L?
Starting point is 00:41:15 Uh, yes. Okay. Yeah. That's not so bad. If you had to spell out all of Colonel, I don't know how many followers you'd get. But, uh, you brought a shit ton of stuff. What are all these cards? Those are Desert Storm
Starting point is 00:41:27 cards and Terminator 2 cards. Okay. Holy shit. And then you brought VHS copies of Under Siege 2 Dark Territory. Oh, yeah. I already have the laser disc on those. Dire Hard with a
Starting point is 00:41:43 Vengeance. Nice. Aliens. This apparently cost you $2. That one did, yeah. When you purchased it. A Three Musketeers bar. Soon to be a major motion picture from Michael Bay.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Fire Down Below. The Lindsay Lohan story. Is there a more, Nikki, is there a more recent girl that you'd make that joke about? No, that was right on target. Steven Seagal in Hard to Kill. Oh, nice. I'm not kidding around. He brought a shit ton of tapes.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Yeah, you sure did. You're just trying to get rid of shit. Raise your hand if you have a VHS player Alright There's enough of you that this might be worthwhile So many people It's a haul It's so much more than I thought it would be Who brought this book
Starting point is 00:42:40 Nice Bike Making Beautiful Connections On the Road of Life? That was a friend of mine from high school. His dad is like a famous motivational speaker, and he wrote this book, and he gave a copy to me one time, which I think he was trying to reach out and help me or something. I don't know what that was about. Here's my book about motivation in life, and now I'm giving it to you guys
Starting point is 00:43:02 because I don't need it anymore. I wrote in Awful Nice Bike. Could you guys because I don't need it anymore. I wrote in awful nice bike. Could you sign it? Yeah, you're welcome. That is awesome. That was well played. Is that it? Oh, True Lies? There's a copy of True Lies?
Starting point is 00:43:17 Yeah, True Lies. Fantastic. The game. I brought the game. Don't get me started about the game. That's why I brought the game. Don't get me started about the game. That's why I brought it. That is, however, I should warn, that is a bootleg copy of the game. That is somebody brought a camcorder into a theater. So you kind of get like a laugh track and like a crowd.
Starting point is 00:43:38 It's kind of fun. It's the real experience. Why are they laughing at it? It's really weird. It makes you really think about what movies were like back then. It's weird. Is that shown in Feel Around? Oh my god. It's the thing. We had Tomcats, which I didn't bring,
Starting point is 00:43:51 which is the same thing where they bootlegged it. And it is unbelievable the things people were laughing at. And I laughed at that movie when I saw it in theaters, which is the dumbest movie. It's called Tomcats? Tomcats. Jerry O'Connell. It's like American Pie. It's not about cats. But not funny.
Starting point is 00:44:08 That's true, yeah. There are no cats involved at all. Settle down Burbiggs. It's all about this guy Tom and his cats. Sounds good. One guy has cats, the other guy has girls. And they're like, how are we going to
Starting point is 00:44:24 feed these creatures? Ben Bailey brought two copies of his, what's this CD called? It's called Ben Bailey Boulevard. Ben Bailey Boulevard. Oh, one of the great Ben Bailey jokes. Ben Bailey Boulevard. Thank you, Mike Birbiglia. Is this the real Ben Bailey Boulevard on the cover?
Starting point is 00:44:42 No, that's in a field in France. Okay. You shot that one? No, actually, I a field in France. Okay. Photoshop that one? No, actually, I could have Photoshopped it, but I actually went there. Oh, wow. There wasn't really a sign that said Ben Bailey Boulevard. There was, yeah, because I had it made and I brought it there. Oh, yeah, nice.
Starting point is 00:44:56 And I mounted it on the post and then went out into the field and had the picture taken. You know about Photoshop, right? This was a long time ago. And you also brought a copy of Emmy Award winning host of Cash Cap Ben Bailey's Road, Rage, and Accidental Ornithology.
Starting point is 00:45:17 The one hour comedy event. So I'm putting one of each of those into the prize bag, but since you brought two of each I'm going to give away the other two Randomly Who wants this one?
Starting point is 00:45:33 Woo! What an asshole. All right, now keep in mind, this has pointier edges. So be careful. There you go. All right, thank you for bringing those, Ben. Hey, you're welcome. It's the best thing I could find there on short notice.
Starting point is 00:46:03 I didn't know that I could have delved into my own video collection Damn it Did I ask you if you've been to the cinema, Ben? You did not Have you? I have not been to Moving on The cinema of late
Starting point is 00:46:14 But I've watched movies I haven't gone to the theater in a while What have you seen just at home? I just watched Turn people on to something Well, it's not anything that people wouldn't already know But it's a great movie Kind of a silly, light movie that I really like. Tomcats?
Starting point is 00:46:28 Tomcats. Quickchange. Oh, nice. Anybody know Quickchange? You guys remember Quickchange? Bill Murray. Yeah, that's the last movie I watched. That, strangely enough, came up on the very last,
Starting point is 00:46:41 the most recent episode of this show. Oh, did it really? Because we had a category of movies that began with the letter Q and the contestant was certain that it was quick change and they were wrong. Oh. Yeah. That's a movie a lot of people love. I think I still need to revisit it
Starting point is 00:46:56 because at the time I was a big Bill Murray fan and everyone was saying how great it was and it just didn't hit me right. But that was a long time ago and I haven't revisited it. It's a good one. All right, cool. I like it. You have to suspend disbelief.
Starting point is 00:47:09 What's that? You enjoy it, but it's a good movie. Yeah, no. I mean, there's no more hilarious topic on a comedy podcast than a movie that you thought was funny. Clearly. Just telling people how funny something is
Starting point is 00:47:22 is the most hilarious thing you can talk about. I mean, we were getting bigger laughs on the fucking cancer movie. What have you seen lately, Todd? I haven't been to the theater, but I recently re-watched Mission Impossible 3, which I love. What were you doing?
Starting point is 00:47:37 Like a little tribute to Philip Seymour Hoffman? It was a little bit of that. It was a little bit of like I had recently watched, not recently, like that morning I watched Days of Thunder and I was going on a Tom Cruise kick. Which Days of Thunder did you watch? The original. The only. Oh, I meant which of the days
Starting point is 00:47:53 in the film. It was the Daytona day. The Days of Thunder was great because then all day I was listening to the Days of Thunder score, which is like the Top Gun score combined with like Seinfeld theme song. It's amazing to like pump up your day. Like it's just like a fun, exciting
Starting point is 00:48:09 like... I gotta check that out. I don't remember the Seinfeld part. It's really great. It's funky. Is it Kenny Loggins? It feels like a Loggins jam. Yeah, it kind of does. Yeah, it bumps around. But then after that... Yeah, exactly. And there's like... It builds still too. It's a full orchestra. There's nothing I can't do with a race car.
Starting point is 00:48:27 That's right. I wouldn't mind throwing in a plug actually for the movie Obvious Child, which just came out. That was a great movie. I thought that was great. Jenny Slade is really wonderful. Jillian Robespierre, I think you say, directed the hell out of it.
Starting point is 00:48:42 It's great. That was a great movie. I recently saw that. I still would put Mission Impossible 3 above it, slightly. Very slightly. Oh, wow. Okay. But I do love both those movies. Sure, yeah. Mission Impossible 3 is great because that is, you can't tell, I've probably seen it
Starting point is 00:48:53 40 times and I still don't know if Philip Seymour Hoffman is a genius in it or if he just doesn't care. Which, that's part of the genius. He plays a psychopath who actually is kind of psychopath. No emotion. I understand him. I bet you do. And everybody gets
Starting point is 00:49:10 bombs planted in their heads. That's great. That's a real thing. That Ethan Hunt does a mean Philip Seymour Hoffman impression. Alright. I've probably seen some movies lately, but we don't have time to get into it because don't feel bad. I have a podcast about movies. I think I've probably seen some movies lately, but we don't have time to get into it because don't feel bad.
Starting point is 00:49:27 I have a podcast about movies. I'll be back. I'll be back to talk about them some more sooner than you probably want. But right now I have to say, let the games begin. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Who will rise out of the darkness?
Starting point is 00:49:50 They should have Bane just talking up the soccer matches. He should be the FIFA announcer. Germany's a very dark place. Let's see your name tags, everybody. And everybody on stage, please go physically grab the name tag you want to play for. And while they do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back.
Starting point is 00:50:24 And we're back. Who are you you who are you playing for nikki i'm playing for uh well nick and anna's infinite playlist so nick and anna mike berbiglia who are you playing for? I'm playing for Rachel. Yeah. And she brought a sword. Hansler? A little sword that issues bubbles when you swing it around.
Starting point is 00:50:55 That's right. It's a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sword. It's a scythe, right? That's a scythe. Not to be a nerd, but that's a sai. Yeah. So here, could you hold this? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:11 Oh, boy. We got a real sai rookie here, guys. I don't know if the listeners at home. We better get that cleaned up before the cat gets here. I'm sure he never operated a sai before. Nothing really happened to speak of. That's like a green belt move. Hey Mike, throw some bubbles out of that sword.
Starting point is 00:51:35 I just spilled all the bubbles everywhere. There's still some left. There's a little bit left. I can't believe something that great happened while I was vining. Ben Bailey, who are you playing for? I've got a Life of Brian poster here. And the I in Brian has been changed to a Y.
Starting point is 00:51:58 So I believe I am playing for Brian with a Y. Yeah. Congratulations, Brian. He was here last night at last night I picked that name tag Oh really? That's fun that he got picked again I kind of feel like I got gypped a little bit No no
Starting point is 00:52:13 Todd who are you playing for? I'm playing for Dez I think Dez is the one who had like 40 cookies Which is going to very quickly become 20 cookies Maybe zero cookies We're going to see quickly become 20 cookies. Maybe zero cookies. We're going to see how this goes. This is my best vine yet, you guys. Will you keep your toys in your area?
Starting point is 00:52:33 I'm sorry, Ben. It's really a sweet-ass vine. Stop eating the cookies. They're so good. I can't stop. Todd likes cookies. Should start a podcast. Yeah, seriously. It was so good. I can't stop. Todd likes cookies. Should start a podcast. Yeah, seriously. It's really good.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Okay. All right. The Vine has been, oh, it hasn't been uploaded successfully yet, but I'm working on it. In the meantime, I'll just sit here and stare at the Vine I made at King's Island a couple days ago. here and stare at the vine I made at King's Island a couple days ago. Mike is controlling the crowd with his bubble work. You're a talented guy,
Starting point is 00:53:16 Mike. You do so many different things. I write, I direct, I make bubbles. Spill bubbles with me, is the name of your new... Is that going to be your new thing? Yeah, yeah. You guys, Nikki and Mike, you're both in Amy Schumer's movie?
Starting point is 00:53:38 Yeah. That's right, Trainwreck. Yeah, Amy Schmover? We've been filming that this summer, and I think it comes out next summer. Yeah, I Schmover. We've been filming that this summer, and I think it comes out next summer. Yeah, a year from now. Does it have a NAMM? Train Wreck.
Starting point is 00:53:52 Oh, yeah. It's awesome. That'll get the pod crowd to come out, because that's a good strain name. And it'll also get the action lovers, because they'll think it's a Denzel Washington movie. Yeah. That guy's in a train every fucking movie lately.
Starting point is 00:54:08 Training day. Yeah. Yeah. Right? You get it. I got it. That's why you're the third funniest person on the internet. Is he in How to Train Your Dragon 2?
Starting point is 00:54:22 No. But if he was, that would have been great. How much did I get for that one, cash cab? What did you say? Was that a $25 question?
Starting point is 00:54:36 That'd be weird if the questions were like that. Was he in this movie? I just ask him for directions. How would you go to get there from here?
Starting point is 00:54:49 Alright, since Todd's really busy eating cookies, they're so good. We'll start on the other end with Nikki and then we'll go to Mike and then to Ben and then to Todd. And then to the hospital. The cookie.
Starting point is 00:55:04 As long as there's no peanuts in here, we're good. I'm all right. Yeah. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No allergies. That plate is like diabetes in one night. It was pretty good.
Starting point is 00:55:16 I'm definitely going to fall over. All right, Nicky, we're playing ABCD's Nuts. And that is where we spell something by each of you guessing the name of a movie that begins with the next letter of the thing we're spelling, and if you match what I wrote down ahead of time for Psychic Twins, then you win automatically.
Starting point is 00:55:37 I didn't get that at all. Yeah, I'm not getting that either. Oh, you're gonna get it. We're gonna spell out Fault in Our Stars in honor of our guest tonight, Mike Birbiglia. Yeah. And so, Nikki, the first letter is F. Name any movie, has to be a motion picture, that begins with the letter F.
Starting point is 00:55:55 Free Willy. That's a perfect example. We didn't match up. I said Fargo and then mentioned it a lot tonight just to see what would happen. Well, you know what's interesting about that is that it's not based on a true story. I heard that before. I heard that. All right, Mike.
Starting point is 00:56:12 Any movie that begins with the letter A? Apple Dumpling Gang. All right. You probably haven't played this game before, but that movie's called The Apple Dumpling Gang and begins with the letter T. No cats in that picture, by the way. You laughed even though you didn't want to.
Starting point is 00:56:34 So try again, but then a movie begins with A. You can do it. Arthur. Don't help him like that. What'd you say? Arthur. Arthur, okay. Was that what you coughed? I coughed awful'd you say? Arthur. Arthur, okay. Was that what you coughed?
Starting point is 00:56:46 I coughed awful nice. Shameless plug. Oh, okay. Wait, which version of Arthur? Oh, the recent one. All right, just making sure. Just making sure. The classic.
Starting point is 00:57:01 I went with Agent Cody Banks. Because it takes place in Seattle And I'll be at the Neptune Theater in Seattle On August 22nd And I'll be there New Year's Eve Oh shit More theater New Year's Eve, Seattle Oh that's a sweet gig That's a sister theater of the Neptune
Starting point is 00:57:20 Alright Yeah Mike, give me a movie that begins with you I'm sorry, Nicky of Neptune. All right. Yeah. Mike, give me a movie that begins with U. I'm sorry, Nikki. Nikki. Oh, back to me. Wait, where are we going?
Starting point is 00:57:31 Sorry. Ben, Ben, Ben. I'll do it. Ben, Ben, Ben. Wait, you haven't been smoking pot, have you? Ben, Ben. Let's go with Ben.
Starting point is 00:57:38 I'm like, whose turn is it and how do we get to U? Is it U to me? Yeah, fault in our stars is what we're spelling oh and you get the letter u any movie begins with the letter u any movie that begins with you could just start making the noise you'll probably get there just go up the academy what up the academy we got a fan we got a fan back there that was the director of Up from the Academy.
Starting point is 00:58:09 He's crying tears of joy. So fucking close. I said Up. That's why I was like, what? Another second I might have gotten to that one. And the reason I said Up is because I love balloons. to that one. And the reason I said up is because I love balloons. L, Mike.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Sorry. Todd. I just want to go the other way. Why don't we just go the other way? I don't want to bring my game anywhere near all these cookies. I'm going to go with Lethal Weapon 2. Oh, okay. That'd be fun if I had written Lethal Weapon 1 or 3 or 4. But I went with Love and Other Drugs.
Starting point is 00:58:49 Yeah. Because it was filmed partially or maybe all of it in Pittsburgh, and I'll be there August 9th and 10th. Okay, so now we're back to Nikki, and the letter is T. The Apple Dumping. See, there you go. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Terminator. I swear you could say that. No, you could have it. See, there you go. I'm just kidding. Terminator. No, you can have it. No, I don't think that Doug didn't pick that. The Apple Doubling Gang. Terminator. I went with Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny. Because I'm going to be playing at their Festival Supreme
Starting point is 00:59:18 on October 25th in Los Angeles. Tickets are on sale. Mike, the letter I. Interspace. Oh, I love that movie. Yeah, Joe Dante was going to be a guest on the show, but he got a directing job and he had to cancel,
Starting point is 00:59:35 but I'll try to reschedule him as soon as possible because that guy's awesome. I went with In the Line of Fire because it was shot in Washington, D.C., where I'll be at the Improv on August 7th. And I'll be at the Warner Theater November 5th. Nikki, Ben, feel free to jump in with any dates you have in the same city that I do.
Starting point is 00:59:54 If I happen to book any while we're sitting here. That's a fun game. It could happen. It could happen. When does this air? N is the next letter. N to me? Never Say Never Again.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Oh, okay. Wow. That's a Bond film that a friend of mine thinks isn't a Bond film. And I went with nine months because I saw a few minutes of it on HBO today while I was figuring this out. Oh, Todd. Is that a movie? I'm going to go with Octopussy to stick with the Bond theme. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's something I might have written.
Starting point is 01:00:36 But I wrote Office Space because it's awesome. That's great. Saw some of that on cable recently and it just really, really holds up nicely. The letter U, Nikki. That's not a movie. Um the movie.
Starting point is 01:00:54 I wish. Something with un. Unbroken. Oh. What's that? Unbreakable. That's what I meant. Oh, there you go.
Starting point is 01:01:04 Oh, that's what unbroken is? Is unbreakable? Yeah, that's what it Unbreakable. That's what I meant. Oh, that's what Unbroken is? Yeah, that's what it is. Okay. I went with Urban Cowboy because I'm going to be at the Houston Improv on August 11th. R, Mike. Rear Window.
Starting point is 01:01:19 The recent Christopher Reeves version. His wasn't called Rear Window, though. Oh, okay. I don't think. I think they gave it a new name. Christopher Reeves. Reeve. The original Hitchcock, Rear Window. The original Superman was Dan Reeves.
Starting point is 01:01:40 Settle down, Cassius Cab. Sorry, I'm getting excited. How much do I get, $100? I'm excited to be on this side of a game. I am so... I'm excited to have you on this side of a game. Because you are... I've been wanting to answer questions for you.
Starting point is 01:01:55 You're not only a great game show host, but you're fucking driving a cab in Manhattan while you do it. It's unbelievable. Thank you. And my apologies to the families of the people that I've killed. Oh, my God. Oh, dear.
Starting point is 01:02:14 S, Todd. Oh, wait. What are we on? R? What happened? S to me? Who's Esteban? Superman.
Starting point is 01:02:29 Superman. What? Superman. Oh, okay. I went with sleepwalk with me. For reasons that are personal. I didn't know ahead of time. They're all on Netflix in case you haven't seen it.
Starting point is 01:02:46 T is the next letter. There's a documentary coming out called Top Loves Cookies. But that doesn't count, so I'm going to go with Time Cop. Time Cop? What was yours? I think I know your genre. Time Cop's a great movie. Time Cock?
Starting point is 01:03:02 Time Cop. John Clonk. I mean, it might as well have been called that, but it was Time Cock. Time Cock. The Invention of Viagra. I went with The Wicker Man. Oh, wow. Because I'm interrupting
Starting point is 01:03:15 it. It's in a family in Los Angeles on July 16th. Hey, Nikki. Arachnophobia. That's a great A word Thank you I went with A Prairie Home Companion Because it was made in Minnesota
Starting point is 01:03:32 And I'll be doing Douglas movies in Minneapolis on August 15th At the Women's Club Yeah R, Mike RoboCop The original or the new one? The original
Starting point is 01:03:50 Oh Dude the new one is not that bad Shut up It's not that bad Turn off his microphone If you had never seen the first one maybe It doesn't touch the first one or even the second one But it's not that bad
Starting point is 01:04:03 I'd buy that for a dollar. Yeah, the first one, if you go back and watch it now, it's a little slowly paced, and there's kind of long scenes where there's not much going on in a weird outdoor construction site or whatever. But if they had just tightened it up and added a few little twists, they could have made a great movie, and I think they blew it. That's my opinion. I didn't think it was unremakeable. I just think that they...
Starting point is 01:04:27 what they did try to do didn't work. For me. I'm a sucker for robots that are cops. Alright, well... That's a genre that I do... Don't worry about it. It's not gonna go away. They're not gonna give up on it. But I didn't like this one personally. But for my R word, I went with Rampart because it's a
Starting point is 01:04:43 little scene movie that Woody Harrelson's amazing in. And the final letter is S. Who are we on? Me. Ben. See what I mean? He's great at keeping track of stuff. And I've got a classic
Starting point is 01:04:59 for my S movie. Okay, then you're gonna miss, but go. It's a little Sylvester Stallone film that I love called Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. That is a good one. That is the sort of thing I would think of. But instead, I went with a movie I'd never heard of before. Because it stars Mike Birbiglia, and it's called Stanley Cuba. Oh.
Starting point is 01:05:23 What is that, Mike? What is that movie? It's a film I was in a great many years ago, and it's confusing. Confusing to you, or it's confusing to watch? I think
Starting point is 01:05:39 I tried to watch it once. It was... As an audience member, I was confused. And then as the star of the movie, I was really confused. Who wrote the movie? I don't want to go into it. No, it's... Yeah, it's a movie I was in.
Starting point is 01:06:02 Yeah. Is it on Netflix? It is so... Honestly, it's quite confusing. It's a movie. Is it on Netflix? Honestly, it's quite confusing. It's abstract. Let me compliment it and say it's abstract. That's nice. Don't want to burn that bridge.
Starting point is 01:06:16 They probably got something hot coming up. Stanley Cuba 2. Colon. I'm back. That'd be a weird title. Two, like T-O-O? Sure, why not? Number two? Why not at this point?
Starting point is 01:06:38 People are going to make that joke anyway. You might as well make it T-O-O. Stanley Cuba also. Just to stick with the confusing theme. Still Stanley Cuba. Still Stanley Cuba. Stanley Cuba after all these years. Stanley Cuba Gooding Jr.
Starting point is 01:07:00 That's a thing. I don't know what game you're making up right now, but I need you to fucking cash curb that shit. Because I got another game. Nobody won ABCD's nuts, which means everybody won, is a better way of phrasing it. Let's play, we'll just go the opposite order this time. We'll start with Todd and go all the way through everybody.
Starting point is 01:07:25 And we're going to play a round of Last Man Stanton. The young lady in the breakfast club shirt, did you get your name tag picked? No. Okay. So I know this isn't the greatest consolation prize, but could you name... the idea is we're going to take turns, I'll play along on this one, we're going to take turns naming movies that the person she picks is involved with until, when you can't think of one, you're out. Or when you say one that's not a movie by them. Oh boy. Or with them.
Starting point is 01:08:01 So name an actor, actress, or director director or director if you want to say it normal who has a has a large body of work somebody throughout Rachel wise Weiss recently and it's like she's you know she's made maybe a ten movies but that's a tough one who do you think we should do? Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey. I love it. Wow. Love it. Love it, love it, love it. All right.
Starting point is 01:08:30 So we're going to start with Todd. I'll start with the first movie I ever saw in movie theater, which was Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. All right. Liar, liar. The Mask. No, I believe him when he says that's the first movie that he has seen okay it's based on a true story the mask all right slow down you guys slow down a stretcher pd
Starting point is 01:08:56 don't need to write it out. And then, what'd you say, Liar Liar? L-L. The Mask. Okay, what'd you say? The Mask? Mm-hmm. Good one. If you would have said Mask, I would have said, Sorry, that's Eric Stoltz.
Starting point is 01:09:18 Yeah. But you threw that the on there. You tricked me. Rocky. Nikki? Mr. Pop. You tricked me. Rocky. Nikki? Mr. Popper's Penguins. Oh. I was cut out of that one, actually. I have the casting crew t-shirt.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Really? Yeah. Fucking shirt dropper. I Bill Bailey'd that shit. I Bill Bailey'd that shit. I Ben Bailey'd that shit. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. But while we're on the subject,
Starting point is 01:09:56 Bill Bailey, won't you please come home? Bill Bailey, for the record, is my father. Just so everybody knows. And he is home. I feel dumber now than when I spilled bubbles on the stage. It's okay, Mark.
Starting point is 01:10:20 It's my turn. I'm going to go with Earth Girls Are Easy. By the way, I'm not fucking around in this game. I'm going to go with Dumb and Dumber. Alright, Dumb and Dumber 2 doesn't count, you guys.
Starting point is 01:10:40 No sequels? No, not one that just hasn't come out yet. Fair, that's fair. Ben? The Incredible Burt Wonderstone. What? Are there really people impressed by that? They weren't sure. If you're going to do that...
Starting point is 01:11:02 He said it like it was very impressive. If you're going to do that, I'm going to do Anchorman 2. Oh. That's a good move. Full title. The audience demands it. Man on the Moon. Ron Burgundy, blah, blah, blah. Something.
Starting point is 01:11:18 Right? That's not going to fly, Pete. No, all right. Would you do that in front of Paul Rudd? You were sitting next to him the last time you were on the show. Sleepwalk with blah, blah, blah. No, I didn't know. I thought Anchorman 2 was going to get me there.
Starting point is 01:11:38 He didn't put his soul into that like you did. He would find that funny. But seriously, though, what's the fucking movie called? Anchorman 2 colon I'm not even sure about it. Wow, you don't know it either? I think you were there.
Starting point is 01:11:55 I think you were in the ballpark. The Legend of Ron Burgundy. No. I'm sorry, it's The Legend Continues? Yeah. Yeah. That's it it's The Legend Continues? Yeah. That's it? Just The Legend Continues? Rachel, I'm so sorry. Ron Burgundy, The Legend Continues, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:12 Sorry, dude. I'm gonna drink a bottle of bubbles now. Drink away his misery. But maybe you'll get some inspiration from it and make Sleepwalk With Me 2 The Sleepwalking Continues. Do you ever sleepwalk anymore? I do yeah Are you sleepwalking right now? I might be I'm so mad. I lost this fucking game
Starting point is 01:12:41 There's another game coming up that's more important. This is just a way station. You could just throw some bubbles around. You can reenact the gentlest episode of Game of Thrones. If Lawrence Welk were on Game of Thrones... Who's next? What happened? Man on the Moon. Oh, that's a good one. Well done.
Starting point is 01:13:17 I will go with Once Bitten. Oh, you son of a bitch. I'm gonna to go with I Love You, Philip Morris. Ooh. It's a good movie. It is.
Starting point is 01:13:34 He really commits. Like, his last few performances, he's an insanely committed performer, like Tom Cruise-level committed. He just needs to find the right projects. That's my career advice to him. Mike, are you auditioning for I Am Sam right now? I Am Sam 2.
Starting point is 01:14:00 Sleepwalk, won't you? Anything I would respond with would be offensive. I know. Whose turn is it? Ben's turn. Did someone say Bruce Almighty yet? No. I'm going to go with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Starting point is 01:14:22 This would be a lot easier if you guys weren't naming them too you keep taking mine it's kind of amazing how i think so far he's only had one movie that begins with the word the that's pretty interesting no it isn't um i'll go with the Truman Show. I'm going to go with Ace Ventura 2, When Nature Calls. Oh, nicely done. I was loathe to step in there because I was worried I would say it wrong. When Nature Calls.
Starting point is 01:14:57 Okay, Ben. What do you got? It's kind of a time limit. I like the sound of that. Like what do you do in Cash Cap when somebody just sits there and thinks for too long? We give them all the time they need. And we provide them with high speed internet access. As quickly as possible.
Starting point is 01:15:31 Oh, I just saw another one. I can't believe I'm not going to get. Oh, and another one. Oh, there's that one. So many. And even I have another one. I'm not even playing anymore what's the one with the cats in it
Starting point is 01:15:49 it's a tough game there's no shame in saying you just can't think of one I know that but I'm not fucking saying it it's pretty hard take your time thank you it's just to give her more time to think
Starting point is 01:16:03 Todd how are you doing I got one he's got one I got one I'm screwed man I got nothing alright Ben five seconds
Starting point is 01:16:14 I'm out I'm out okay could have taken five seconds okay I'm trying to think of the one with Taylor
Starting point is 01:16:18 and him as husband and wife oh of course I keep wanting to say Mr. and Mrs. Smith because it's something like that. Yeah, but nobody in this room is going to help you
Starting point is 01:16:27 in any way. Don't make gestures. But you know what I'm going to go with just to see if this works? Okay. Austin Powers gold member. That does not work. That absolutely does not work.
Starting point is 01:16:43 Am I next? Do I get to go next? Do I get to go next? Do I get to say fun with Dick and Jane? You do. You do. I was thinking about Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Excellent.
Starting point is 01:16:57 Excellent. Is it Lemony Snicket and or Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate? I think it's just Lemony Snicket's, yeah, colon. There's a big oversight in all of this, by the way. A series or just series? A series. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 01:17:11 I think you said it right. Yes. All right. I'm a pretty big Lemony Snicket's fan. I wouldn't mess that one up. Oh, I loved when Rich Hall used to do Snicket's on SNL and get whole books full of Snicket's. I thought it was just Lemony Snicket. A series of unfortunate events. Lemony Snicket.
Starting point is 01:17:26 I'll go with the Cable Guy. Oh, sorry. No, I'm out. Oh, you're out. Okay, but Ben's got to go. No, I couldn't think of one. Everybody's out? It's just me and Todd?
Starting point is 01:17:34 Yeah. Okay, then I'll still go with the Cable Guy. Oh, boy. That is, oh, boy. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. I'm going to go with The Night the Grinch Stole Christmas. Is that what that's called?
Starting point is 01:17:44 It's not called that. No, really? Yes, and for the win, Doug says The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Wait, what is that? No. Wait, wait, settle down. No way.
Starting point is 01:17:59 No. You're all wrong, and then the person who wins is the first person who lost. Yeah, yeah, reverse. You wanted me to put Dr. Seuss on it? How the Grinch Stole Christmas. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. And the movie is about how he did it.
Starting point is 01:18:13 That's a good idea for a title. Yeah, it makes total sense. I got so excited about what I thought he got wrong about it. I was like, I got this. So what happens? Well, I can name another one. No, I haven't officially won. But if I name another one, I could call myself the winner.
Starting point is 01:18:34 Would it be wrong for me to point out? I'm the last one to correctly name one. What's your other one? Let's go with, how about Kick-Ass 2? That was mine. And I could keep going. Do. What else do you got? Oh, please do.
Starting point is 01:18:53 Give me one more. No, I don't know if I can. Oh, wait, I think I can. I think I can. I think I got this. Yes, I got this. Peggy Sue got married. Oh, nice one. Alright, so no winner again. It's another draw.
Starting point is 01:19:10 So we'll go... What's the matter, sir? That's what I was going to do. What was it? Batman and Robin, he said. Exactly. No, it was Batman. Batman forever.
Starting point is 01:19:19 Batman forever. Batman forever. Batman forever. I've yelled at every Batman movie, but yeah, it was Batman forever. Yeah, no, there's more. Yes Man. Yes Man, nice work, yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:30 The Majestic. The number 23. The number 23. Christmas Carol, the animated one. Me, Myself, and Irene. That's the one I was looking for. Yeah, the dude's made plenty of movies. For sure.
Starting point is 01:19:44 He kept at it. Can you pick someone else? I'm just kidding. Yeah, the dude's made plenty of movies. For sure. He kept at it. Can you pick someone else? That was a great suggestion. I like that one. Oh, yeah, it's great. Yeah, thank you. Would you like a cookie? Oh, you want a cookie?
Starting point is 01:20:00 Yeah, give her a cookie. That's a great... I'm not liable for any poisoning or anything that happens with that cookie that you just ate. Just treat the audience like they're Shamu or some shit. The guy who ate ten cookies is the one treating them. No, you've got to give some away. They're really interesting looking. They look like pieces of chicken with paprika on top.
Starting point is 01:20:26 But they're cookies. There's a flavor in there that I haven't been able to place yet, and that's why I think I'm going to eat more of them. Just to figure out the flavor? Just to figure out what it is. It's like a Heath Bar thing or something. Oh, now I'm intrigued. Could the...
Starting point is 01:20:41 Oh, my God. The audience is laughing at something the audience said what she said she didn't make the cookies she said she didn't even make them these could be poisons
Starting point is 01:20:49 okay she works at a place that makes these cookies I'll take it I'm glad we got to the bottom of that as long as we know who my parents can sue
Starting point is 01:20:59 after I die from eating them I'm good to go you really gotta start Todd Loves Cookies and just get this shit off of my show. Can I get another vodka soda, preferably?
Starting point is 01:21:10 I guess you have Tito's here. We could be drinking this whole time. Wouldn't you get a chance? Yeah, yeah. I think I muttered something about if you want a drink, just ask for it. Could I have a Heineken? Sure.
Starting point is 01:21:20 A Heineken for Mr. Bailey, please. This is going to be a tall order. And some Baileys for Mr. Sklar. Do you have milk? If there's milk, I would love milk. Or a White Russian. Anything to dunk the cookies in. That would be in heaven.
Starting point is 01:21:37 Make him something it would be good to dunk cookies in. And that would be perfect. Awesome. We've got some extra waters coming in. This is great. This is fantastic, yeah. Thank you very much. All right, everybody's going to be properly hydrated because it is time to play. Don't spill it, Mike.
Starting point is 01:21:52 It's time to play the Leonard Maltin game. Let me get my device out and open up the app. Should have done that a while ago. And let's remind everybody who we're playing for. Nikki's playing for Nick and Annie. Nick and Anna. Anna, okay. Sorry about that.
Starting point is 01:22:16 Oh, there's my drink. Thank you so much. And Mike's playing for this. Playing for Rachel. The sword, Rachel's sword. The sword of Rachel. And Ben's playing for this. Playing for Rachel. The sword, Rachel's sword. The sword of Rachel. And Ben's playing for Brian. Yep.
Starting point is 01:22:30 And Todd is playing for cookies. Yeah. Cookies by Des. But whose name, Des? Oh, yeah. And her place of employment. Yeah, the place where she works. Right.
Starting point is 01:22:40 Made these cookies. What's, is Des short for something? Badejda. Badejda? Wow something? Badejda? Like Badejda Maryland? Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to give your friends something to call you,
Starting point is 01:23:03 but your friends don't listen to this shit. Podcasts are something you listen you But your friends don't listen to this shit Podcasts are something you listen to And your friends don't want to hear anything about it Like I don't listen to that Shut up You get to pick a category Nicky At tab underscore James Suggested on Twitter
Starting point is 01:23:22 The Fisher Price King And that's movies that have toys in them. That's a lot of movies. Also, celebrating a birthday today, Gary Busey was born on June 29th, which was probably yesterday. Happy birthday yesterday. Happy birthday yesterday. 36, yesterday. Gary Busey. And at Mama Flea,
Starting point is 01:23:51 M-O-M-A-P-H-Y-L. I don't know why that would be somebody's L-Y. Mama Flea, are you here? Mama Fly? Moma Fly? That's what you people want. You people. That's what you want people to get out of this We want people to look at it and go
Starting point is 01:24:10 Oh that says Momafly He hangs out at the Museum of Modern Art a lot Alright dude I mean if you're happy with it I don't mean to disparage it It's a good category you came up with It's called Deep Fried Bacon. And it's movies where Kevin Bacon smokes weed.
Starting point is 01:24:29 Oh, God. That's amazing. Good job, Mama No-Full-Moth Leaf Heaf. Which one do you like, Nikki? I'm going to go with the toys one. I'm sorry, MoMA. Sorry, MoMA. Oh, MoMA. One and MoMA. Oh, MoMA.
Starting point is 01:24:45 One and a half stars from Leonard for this movie that has toys in it. The year is 1992. He calls it appallingly bad. Seems a little... I mean, one and a half seems a little generous after calling it appallingly bad. But he says it has an ingenious
Starting point is 01:25:02 production design, but it's also a heavy-handed mess. And he lists nine, 12, 14 names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Nikki Glaser? Six. That is a bold bid. Is it? I think so. What do you think, Mike?
Starting point is 01:25:32 A nine. Did I not understand the game? I would wake you up, but I've been told it's dangerous. I think I knew the game. Are you going to explain it to me? You can bid less names. You can say name that movie to Nikki and hope she doesn't know it after hearing six names reading from the bottom of the 14 names?
Starting point is 01:26:09 It's just actors that are in the film. Oh, it's from the bottom? From the bottom. Doug, I'm sorry. I cannot get it in six names. You think you wouldn't have to tell the people who have been on the show how to play it.
Starting point is 01:26:23 People just sort of skate through it without paying attention. They come back and go, you gotta do what? But yeah, that's why I said it was a strong bid. Yeah, I get it now. I understand why you said that now. So Mike, if you say name it, she's gonna hear six names and maybe she won't name it.
Starting point is 01:26:40 If she misses it, you'll get the point. Or you could try to name it five. Do you have a feel for what this movie might be? I got one guess, but it's probably not correct. All right, then just ask Nikki to name it and we'll end this misery right now. All right, then name it, Nikki. Okay.
Starting point is 01:26:57 All right, your six names are Yardley Smith, Art Metrano, Blake Clark, Jamie Fox is in this movie Debbie Mazur the late great Jack Warden
Starting point is 01:27:11 and somebody I don't know oh that's six names sorry the next name is somebody I've never heard of and I even saw this movie one and a half stars from Leonard it's got toys in it. It's appallingly bad.
Starting point is 01:27:28 It's got some sweet moments at the outset. Did I say that? And a heavy-handed mess. I'm going to say the movie Toys. That's correct. Yeah. It's the only thing it could have been. I remember hating it.
Starting point is 01:27:48 I can't believe I watched. I mean, I know that was easy, but that was still impressive to myself. Tig has scored points in this game. She doesn't know anything. Admittedly so. I'm not insulting Tig. Alright, so that means we're going to... It was about insulting me.
Starting point is 01:28:05 No. We're going to start with Todd and then go towards Mike. So Ben will be next after Todd. And Todd gets to pick. That's actually Bill. Thank you. Formally. Formally.
Starting point is 01:28:25 Batman Rises or Begins, whichever one you prefer. And it's the early films of Jason Bateman. Oh, Jesus. Also, as suggested by at USC Rascal, Halificent. That's right. Hal-ificent. And that's movies that have evil computers in them.
Starting point is 01:28:45 Ah, wow. Hal-ificent. And that's movies that have evil computers in them. Wow. And your third option, Scott Beowulf, which is films with Scott Beowulf or werewolves or both. I only know one early Jason Bateman film, so I'm not going to do that one. But it does feature werewolves.
Starting point is 01:29:09 I can combo. I'm going to go, what was the middle one? Evil Computers? I'm going to do that one. All right. Would you like an evil computer movie from 1977, 1982, 1983, or 1995? Wow. I know.
Starting point is 01:29:27 I had no idea until I researched this. There's so many evil computer movies. That's four out of the 30 I found. Wow. Yeah, computers fuck shit up all the time. I'm going to go with... Do you even remember the four choices? One of them is Lawnmower Man, for sure. I'm going to go with... Do you even remember the four choices? One of them is Lawnmower Man, for sure. I'm gonna go
Starting point is 01:29:46 with... It's gotta be. I don't know what year that came out, but that is definitely one of those movies. There's only so many evil computer movies. It's an interesting approach to this game. I'm gonna go with... Everyone, the answer is this. Let me do the...
Starting point is 01:30:03 What were the two 80 ones? 82 and 83? 83 and 85. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. 82 and 83. You were right. I'm going to go with 83. Okay.
Starting point is 01:30:15 Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 1983. He says about this movie that it gets more contrived as it goes along. And he also says that the adults in the film, most of the adults in the film, are boobs. Boobs. Boobs with a W.
Starting point is 01:30:38 That to me just says that Leonard's got the wrong thing on his mind. Could have said idiots. Not made me think about tits. And he lists nine names. How many names do you think you can get it in? Todd Sklar. I'm going to... Oh, boy.
Starting point is 01:31:02 Come on, T.S. There's one of two movies. Come on, T.S. I'm going to go negative, boy. Come on, T.S. There's one of two movies. Come on, T.S. I'm going to go negative one. I love you. T.S., I love you. But I might be wrong. He said one.
Starting point is 01:31:15 He said negative one. Let me explain that to you now. Please, please do that. When somebody goes into negative bids, that means they have to name the movie. Since he said negative one, he's got to name the movie and the top billed person in the movie. So you have to go
Starting point is 01:31:32 You have to go negative two or more or just ask him to name it and like I've often said hope that he's got the wrong movie in mind and gets it wrong. I'm going to go nine. I'm going to need you to get out of the cab.
Starting point is 01:31:56 All right, well, I don't really have... You've got to go negative two, three, four. If you don't think you know it, you should just ask him to name it. Oh, okay. Hang on, everybody. Call a friend, this guy. To use a street shout-out.
Starting point is 01:32:10 All right, a 1980s... Can't do a street shout-out. My favorite street shout-out is somebody actually stuck their head out the window and asked what was clearly an old German lady, what's a haiku? Haiku. Did she get it? Did she know what it was?
Starting point is 01:32:31 She did not. She was of no help. And also it looked painful for her to stagger over to the car. All right. It's an evil computer movie made in 1983. That came out in 1983. That's all we know about it. Well, it also gave you some other clues, but the clues are generally not meant to help.
Starting point is 01:32:57 The adults in it are boobs. The adults in it are boobs. That's the one that tipped me off. Boobs. Boobs. Boobs. You're saying you can name the movie and the top billed actor. Yes. I can either say I can name it the movie
Starting point is 01:33:09 and the top two. Yes. Or I can tell you to just do it. Right. And if you get it, if I do that and you get it, then I lose. I get a point. You get a point. It doesn't affect me at all. Right. If you do it, then you get the point. Right. Name it.
Starting point is 01:33:26 Alright. I am going to... It's one of two movies, and if I'm wrong, I'm going to be really mad at myself. Not Sam LaVena. I'm going to go with War Games, Matthew Broderick. That's correct. Oh!
Starting point is 01:33:40 Nice. That was mine. But I didn't have to know. I had it, but I didn't have to. Who's two? Yeah. Who's second bell? Who's the other one? No idea who else is in that movie.
Starting point is 01:33:50 Yeah, Ally Sheen. Oh, yes, Ally Sheen. Nice. But what really kind of gave it away, I'm assuming, is when I said the adults are boobs, because what movie's about a computer? Yes. That's going to be surrounded by adults trying to figure out what's up with this computer. It's very rare computer. Where the kids
Starting point is 01:34:05 are the smart ones in a computer movie, it's War Games. Congratulations, Todd. You have one point. You're on the board. Can we point out the other actors on that one? What's that? What's the rest of the actors? Then it went Ally Sheedy.
Starting point is 01:34:23 Oh, no, I'm sorry. Dabby Coleman slipped in there. So did John Wood, the old guy that invented the program. And then Ally Sheedy, and then Barry Corbin, who was local law enforcement, and then four people, I couldn't tell you what they did.
Starting point is 01:34:38 Oh, Michael Madsen was in it. What did he do? Did he get bit by a snake? Did he cut a guy's ear off? That's a fun game. Just keep saying things Michael Madsen did in movies. All right. So since Ben challenged Todd, we're going to start with Mike and go to Nikki.
Starting point is 01:35:02 And Mike is, can I call you Mike? Is that all right? Yeah, Mike's go to Nikki. Can I call you Mike? Is that all right? Yeah, Mike's fine. Okay. Your options are, and they're always glad you came, and that is not porn films. That is movies with actors
Starting point is 01:35:19 from the TV show Cheers. Wow. Yeah, one or more. Probably just one actor from Cheers. Look at the Yeah, one or more. Probably just one. Yeah, sure. Actor from Cheers. Look at the Flowers is a fun category
Starting point is 01:35:29 that's inspired by The Walking Dead and what happened on that show last season. And this, of course, is movies where a child is killed. Let me do the other Always Glad You Came. Or Turn Over a New Leaf,
Starting point is 01:35:48 and that's the early films of Joaquin Phoenix when his name was Leaf Phoenix. Let's go with Their Always Glad You Can. Two stars from Leonard for this movie from 2006. He says about it that it has a showdown in it. And he also says that it's the weakest in the series. That's a big clue. And it's also overheated.
Starting point is 01:36:26 And these cookies got burnt. He says that it's got 7, 9, 11, 14, 16. He names 19 names. How many names can you get it in, Mike, for Biglia? From the bottom of the list? You could just say 19. You could just have them all. I'm going to say 10.
Starting point is 01:36:56 Okay. Cut it in half almost. Nikki? I'll say 9. Whoa. Throwing it over to Todd. He's got to really think about this. Because he probably knows the answer.
Starting point is 01:37:14 I'm going to keep the train going. I'm going to go eight. Oh. He's still not sure. Benny B. How come you never picked up any black people that is just not true just not true
Starting point is 01:37:32 Doug Benton oh fuck Oh, fuck. Things that are running through my head right now. It's a dumb question. Just having fun with stereotypes. Cliches. How many do you think you can do it in? I completely forgot the game that we're playing right now.
Starting point is 01:38:13 It really is hard for black people to hail a taxicab television show game. Was that a question? Okay, since you say they're never going to ask you to come back and the whole series is done, can you say now that were you ever high while driving the cab and asking people questions? Yes. Very nice. He said nine names? Eight names?
Starting point is 01:38:43 Eight names. So he only needs eight out of 19, Ben. Give me the info again. 19 names. It's a lot of names. Two stars from Leonard. 2006 is the year. Overheated.
Starting point is 01:38:56 He said it was... You said you could name it an eight. Yeah. And I can either say less than that or or make you name it weakest in the series weakest that's a huge clue i think it is but but todd todd you're definitely walking right into it if you go against him but also the show's running long so it wouldn't bother me none there's's a chance if you say seven, he may say six too. Yes, there is. Good point, Todd. I've thought about that, Todd.
Starting point is 01:39:28 I've considered that possibility. Name it. All right. Get to wrap this thing up. Eight names you get? Yep. All right. Congratulations. Sorry, guys.
Starting point is 01:39:47 Because your eight names are R. Lee Ermey, Cameron Bright, Bill Duke, Joseph Sommer, Sorey Angdashloo, Michael Murphy, Ben Foster, Vinnie Jones.
Starting point is 01:40:07 Is that it? What is this, a SAG meeting? That's it, and Vinnie Jones. Vinnie Jones is in this. Ben Foster, Michael Murphy. Wow, I thought I knew this. The great Arlie Ermey. Well, if you thought you knew it, maybe you still know it,
Starting point is 01:40:20 or are you sure those people weren't in what you thought it was? Two of them were not in that movie. Oh, shit. Well, then we're going to put Ben on the board. I'm going to go with 2006. Scary Movie 3? No, it's X-Men, The Last Stand. Really?
Starting point is 01:40:47 Yeah, really. Ben Foster? Who from Cheers is in that movie? Oh, Kelsey Grammer! I was on the Woody Harrelson tip. I thought for sure it's Woody Harrelson. He seems like the only one who's in movies. He does those little cameos where he'll show up in a weed jacket and say a funny thing.
Starting point is 01:41:04 I was thinking Rhea Perlman. Every one of those fuckers has been in movies. And what's his name? Cliff the Mailman is in every Pixar movie. All the Pixar movies. That's true. I was sitting here thinking, how many of those Look Who's Talking movies do they make? All right, Ben's on the board.
Starting point is 01:41:22 We've got a three-way tie. Yeah, baby. Three-way tie. Yeah, baby. Three-way tie plus Mike. We'll start with Nicky and go to Ben. I mean, go to Mike. Then Ben, but in that direction. Nicky gets to pick between Billy the Kid, that's movies with Billy Crystal, a goat or both.
Starting point is 01:41:50 A goat or a what? Or both. Or both. Or both, okay. Yolo Virus, that's movies where an actor who played James Bond dies. So that's Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, you get it, one of those guys dies in another movie.
Starting point is 01:42:06 Or Penny Dreadful. And that's Penny Marshall movies that Leonard gave two stars or less. Oh. The first one. Okay, Billy the Kid. This movie's got kids. It's either got Billy Crystal, a goat, or both.
Starting point is 01:42:25 And it's from... The year is 1987. Two and a half stars. Leonard calls this movie revisionist. And he also says that it was based on a novel. And he lists
Starting point is 01:42:41 seven, twelve, twelve people in the cast of this film. How many can you get in, Nikki? You said 12 people? I did, I think. 12. I need them all.
Starting point is 01:42:58 Wait, there might be more. 13. 13. She takes all the 13, Mike. I mean... I don't want to tell you what to do, but 12 would be a pretty strong bid. I think I could just guess it.
Starting point is 01:43:19 Really? Then say zero names if you think you know the answer. But I might be just flat out wrong. What are the consequences of thatadov might be just flat out wrong. That could happen too. What are the consequences of that? There might be consequences, but... Yeah, because Ben might challenge you, and then if you lose, then Ben will win the game.
Starting point is 01:43:37 It's first person to two points. That's true. That's a big deal. Yeah. Wait, what's riding on this? You're going to get cash cab back if you win. Can you give me the information? Can you give me the information one more time, Doug? Do what?
Starting point is 01:43:51 Can you give me the information, the clue one more time? Sure. I love this part. Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 1987 that he calls Revisionist. It's based on a novel. And he lists, and people in the audience know what it is. And he lists a lot of names, and
Starting point is 01:44:11 zero. You're saying zero names. I like that. I like that. So now you can go negative one. Can you go negative, or do you have to just ask him to name it? I'm not ready to go negative, so I'm going to have to tell Mike to name it. You can go negative for the win, though.
Starting point is 01:44:28 I could, yeah. If he thought of you what it was. Settle down, Todd. All the glory. All the cookies. You seem to be thinking a lot about you in the choices I'm making. He's a smart player. What's the name of the movie, Mike?
Starting point is 01:44:44 Tombstone? Oh, boy. Way wrong. what's the name of the movie Mike Tombstone oh boy way wrong it's not Tombstone is from 1992 Ben is our winner I so thought you had this Todd thinks it's City Slickers it's the Princess Bride
Starting point is 01:45:01 Princess Bride yeah that's not revisionist It's the Princess Bride. Princess Bride. Yeah. That's not revisionist. That was based on a novel, you guys. What was the category? Billy Crystal. Have fun storming the castle. He's in it.
Starting point is 01:45:17 Is there a goat in there, too? There is. I think there's a goat outside the castle. There's got to be a goat in the Princess Bride. So, yeah, congratulations to Brian as our winner goat outside the castle. There's got to be a goat in the Princess Bride. So yeah, congratulations to Brian as our winner of all the prizes. Where you at, dude? Come and get it.
Starting point is 01:45:35 Wait, we have more to add to it. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's right. What did you also have? I have a Beyonce paper doll book. Whoa. I got it for my birthday, and I just don't need it.
Starting point is 01:45:47 Rick's got a girlfriend. He's got a girlfriend. That'll be good. Wife, sorry. My wife. And everybody else. Is there a shithead on the back of Mike's sword? Yes.
Starting point is 01:46:00 Okay, cool. So just pass everything down to me, and I will read those at the very end. There's none on mine. There's no shithead on the back of yours? Nope. Who are you playing for? Where is that person? Nick and Anna.
Starting point is 01:46:12 Yeah, where are you at, Nick and Anna? Up there. Way up in the balcony? All right, just quietly say who you want me to call a shithead. Yeah, look at that. There's people. Really quiet. It's quiet, guys.
Starting point is 01:46:26 Alice and Janet? Who? What? Who? Okay, I got it. In Trenton, New Jersey? Oh, what? Wait, this thing's got a shithead on the back of it? It's such small writing.
Starting point is 01:46:53 Oh, God, okay. I can read that one. I think I got it. All right. And where is it on this one? This thing right here, this part? All right. I don't know if I want to get in trouble with them.
Starting point is 01:47:10 Oh, I don't know if I want to get in trouble with this guy either. All right, I won. But it says Shia LaBeouof on it. Okay, yeah, I've got three now. I got this. Nikki, what would you like to plug before we go? Oh, um, I'll be at the Montreal Comedy Festival the 21st
Starting point is 01:47:43 through the 27th, like the whole time. Something like that, yeah. That's awesome. I'll be up there too. Maybe we can do some stuff together. Would love it. Mike Verbiglia, what's going on? You got a big tour. Go to MikeVerbiglia.com. Yeah, Verbigs.com. Pretty much in the fall, I'm
Starting point is 01:47:59 in like 35 new cities. Pretty much any city that you live in, I'm probably going to perform in it. I'd like to come open for you somewhere if that's possible. I don't know if all the dates are booked, but I've done that before and I had a blast. Ben Bailey, what do you got coming up? I'll be at the
Starting point is 01:48:16 Surflight Theater in Long Beach Island, New Jersey. Anybody? July 14th. The Stress Factory, also in Jersey, New Brunswick, in October. That's about it, I think, right now. All right. So that's two cities.
Starting point is 01:48:31 That's close to 35. Do they go to BillBailey.com? What's that? BillBailey.com? Yeah, my father has a website. For your tour dates. It just automatically redirects people to my site. It just says his name is Ben, you dicks.
Starting point is 01:48:48 That's what it says on the website, I'm saying. Todd's working on more movies, Todd Sclaro, but be sure to find, however you can, Awful Nice. It sounds like it's awful cheap. It is. 99 cents on iTunes. I know it's awful fun, and you're really going to dig it. Thank you to all you guys for being here. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:49:06 Thank you to the Gramercy Theater. The always great crowds here. One more time, Mike Verbiglia, Nikki Glaser, Ben Bailey, and Todd Sklar. And as always, Allison and Trent are a shithead. Golden Dawn, the Nazi Greek political party, is a shithead. And people who correct you with football when you say soccer is a shithead.
Starting point is 01:49:52 Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.

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