Doug Loves Movies - Nikki Glaser, Mike Birbiglia, Ben Bailey, and Todd Sklar Guest
Episode Date: June 30, 2014Live from the Gramercy Theatre in New York City, Doug welcomes Nikki Glaser, Mike Birbiglia, Ben Bailey, and Todd Sklar to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Califor...nia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, everybody!
My...
Okay, hang on a second.
I'm busy right now.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies.
Best one ever.
Coming to you once again from the Gramercy Theater in New York City.
Oh boy, I gotta sit down for this.
It's Monday, June 30th, 2014, Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2,
Judgment Day of the Dead Man Walking Tall.
You know my favorite thing right now?
My favorite thing right now is people writing me on Twitter going,
what is going on when you say all those movies at the beginning?
What the fuck is happening?
Three Amigos, Worlds Worlds and of Watchmen
Don't Leave.
Which is a movie I'd totally go see.
Like a rom-com about
Watchmen and their romantic
entanglements. Watchmen
Don't Leave.
Let me see your name tags, New York
City.
Oh, wow.
I got to say, just glancing out at them,
they're like artistically very creative.
Like there's none that are, no one is like,
look at how big my sign is, except for Morgan over there.
Like everyone else went with something
that's just regular sized and got a lot going on of
course we know brian from uh from last night his life of brian what's this catch catch me
tiff you can because your name's tiffany nice you know there's a movie with your name in the title
lily wonka the chocolate factory that's a that'd be an awesome feminist spin I don't. Lily Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
That'd be an awesome feminist spin.
Like if Willy Wonka was a girl.
Sans Willy.
There's a guy with a Mr. T doll
that says, I pity the fool who don't pick Ed.
Are Mr. T and Ed are tight?
Thumbs up, yes. And a salute.
Alright. I know Mr. T
works with the deaf people a lot.
Mute people.
Okay, you guys.
I can't talk about them all
and you can't hold your arms up for that long.
What about the balconies?
Is there action up there?
That's pretty awesome that you made a name tag,
and probably that's why you're sitting in the balcony,
because you were putting some finishing touches on it at 7.30.
But thank you guys for bringing those,
and extra good luck to you.
It's happened, though.
I've had some guests are belligerent
I'm going to get one from the balcony
they make it happen
I will see you again
my friends here that want to do this again
right here at the Gramercy Theatre
for another Doug Loves Movies on October 6th
of this calendar year
now it's time for Watch This, Not That.
The number one movie at the box office right now is Transformers 4, AIDS of Extinction.
Seriously, though, wouldn't it be great if the Transformers fought AIDS
Wouldn't it be great if the Transformers fought AIDS and won?
If the Transformers made AIDS extinct, then I'd go see that movie.
That'd be a fun fantasy movie like Django Unchained.
The number two movie is 22 Jump Street.
TJ Miller won't return my calls, but
I'm having some folks from Jump Street
on the show very soon, so watch
22 Jump Street, not Transformers
4.
This has been Watch This,
Not That, totally biased with
Kamau Bell edition.
Austin, Texas, I'm doing
stand-up in the Cap City Comedy this
Saturday at 420, and St. Louis, Missouri, I'm doing stand-up at the Cap City Comedy this Saturday at 4.20, and St. Louis, Missouri
I'm doing stand-up next Monday, July
7th at the Firebird
all of my dates, deets, and links
are at DougLovesMovies.com
the prize bags
are complicated
I brought a little one
because my stuff was little, I just brought
a copy of
Gateway Doug 2 For forced fun that is
thank you that is going to come out on uh july 8th and then i also included in the bag from
sorry to dig it out um from our friends at kind tray.com i've given away this is the third one i
think these cool wooden trays
that open up and close
because they've got little magnets on all the corners
so you can just stash stuff in there.
They're not a sponsor or anything.
They just sent me some, so I'm
happy to tell you about it.
And then there's just lots of stuff in this other bag.
All this stuff gives away who the guests are,
so let's just get them the hell out here. As you can see, there's just lots of stuff in this other bag. All this stuff gives away who the guests are. So let's just get them the hell out here.
As you can see, there's four stools.
And that means we've got four great guests
because New York City is full of great guests.
Please give a big warm welcome to
Nikki Glaser, Todd Sklar, Ben Bailey, and Mike Birbiglia. Hey, you guys.
Hello.
All right.
That's a lot of people.
Wow.
A lot of people.
All right.
Are we supposed to say something?
No, I kind of have a let's see who's the first to talk game that I like to play.
And Ben Bailey's our winner, everybody.
All right.
Benny B.
Nice one.
It's a heezy.
Yeah, way to play it.
Is that something you want to win?
I don't know.
It's sort of like usually the most obnoxious person on the panel will chime in first.
But other times someone just feels like they have something they want to say.
It's a friendly environment.
You know, I try to run a tight ship, but that's impossible.
Because I'm high out of my mind.
So am I. But I'm so happy that my mind. So am I.
But I'm so happy that you're doing this, Ben.
Ben Bailey, it's his first time on the show, you guys.
All right.
I, too, am happy to be here.
Cash Cab has been my favorite thing to watch
when it's the only thing on on the plane.
When there's a cooking show,
I don't want to turn it off.
But cash cab, I'm in.
I've known Ben since
the time we spent the most time together
was the night before
he got the job on cash cab.
So I knew he was up
for it and there was a chance he was going to be the cash
cab guy. I didn't know that I wouldn he was up for it and there was a chance he was going to be the cash cab guy I didn't know that
I wouldn't stop hearing about it
for like a decade
like I love it
I love it
it's fun when the subject of cash cab comes up
because I know a lot about it
because of everything Ben told me about the process
and I auditioned for it
when they were trying to do an LA version
which makes no fucking sense.
An L.A. version of Cash Cab.
Okay, so you're going to hire a guy who is always lost.
It's called delivery.
People call for a cab.
You go to their house.
Yeah, you win money if the driver finds your destination.
No offense, L.A. cab drivers.
Don't listen to this.
Ben and I actually came up together as cab drivers.
And then you got the entertainment job from it.
Our day jobs as comedians, right?
All right.
Yeah, I was a cab driver who got a show as a cabbie
and then decided that I would pursue a career in show business.
How lucky that that show existed.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's amazing.
What are the odds?
Yeah.
Otherwise, I would probably be a cab driver.
Just driving a cab.
Yeah.
Was the previous host, was it Alan Fitt, had that show before?
It's all I know.
Competition.
What was that about running a tight ship?
Yeah, exactly. I thought this would be a really docile
panel as these things go.
Can I just say, this woman is texting
and I don't care. It's just that
every time you text, I see your face
lit up by your phone.
She's just texting, sleepwalk with me is my
favorite. Oh, that's so nice
of you.
Well, now I feel terrible.
She's like, is he right in front of me?
Am I dreaming?
Hashtag dreamy.
All right, more about Cash Cab later,
because I saw a lot of parallels between that movie and one of Scorsese's
early films.
Alice doesn't live here anymore.
Nikki Glaser
is here, you guys.
I did it. I'm here.
Nikki G.
Hey.
The third funniest person on the internet
after me and number one
Ron Funches.
Yeah, we have that title for the
next hundred episodes of
At Midnight.
So I'm very proud
and excited. What's that?
Number one? Ron Funches?
We did At Midnight last
Tuesday.
Yep, and
it was the hundredth episode and they made a big deal out of it,
being like, these are the best we've ever had,
and they're going to blow you away.
It was a lot of pressure, right?
I know.
I had to blow a lot of people.
You did.
Away.
Away.
Away.
Away.
Wow.
But yeah, it was super pressurized,
but I think we all still had a good time.
Yeah, it was fun.
Mostly because you and Chris and Ron and I
were all friends.
And so it wasn't really a competition.
It was just proof once again
that people don't think women are as funny as men.
Yes.
And that people are assholes.
I really failed my gender that day.
People are assholes who don't know any better.
A big, funny teddy bear of a man is going to win every time.
Yes, he is.
He's so fucking cute.
Whether it be him or me.
Yeah, Ron Funches is too adorable.
I'm familiar with Ron Funches.
He's just fun in a can.
He's a big, happy fella?
A jolly?
Yeah, but he's not jolly in the way you'd assume. He's a big happy fella? A jolly? Yeah, but he's not jolly
in that,
you know,
the way you'd assume.
He's more like giggly,
happy.
Like if you poke him,
he'll giggle a little bit?
He's just like,
he, he, he.
That's pretty.
It's like Michael Jackson
ate three or four
Michael Jacksons.
Well,
that would be a feat.
That's Mike Birbiglia you guys Thank you
Another return guest
I'm always happy to have
Been friends for a while
I've enjoyed all of your
You've found some interesting avenues
For success It's hard for comedians It's hard for a comic to go a while. I've enjoyed all of your... You've found some interesting avenues for success.
You know, like it's hard for comedians
to... It's hard for a comic to go,
this is a one-man show, without people going,
shut up. You know, one-man show,
fuck you. That's what we're all doing
every night, everywhere we go.
But you really do something different
and then turned it into a
successful motion picture. Oh, thanks.
That was also very creatively handled,
considering it was just based on you standing around talking.
Sleepwalk with me is what his reference is.
Yeah, these are totally compliments that I'm giving you right now.
And you've got a big tour coming up.
Yeah, I'm on a 100-city tour presently,
and people can come out.
I'm at the Chicago Theater in the fall.
I'm in Montreal next month,
which Nikki's at as well.
Yeah, I couldn't name a hundred cities.
Yeah, there's a lot of like
York, Pennsylvania's in there.
You know what I mean?
Wink, wink.
That's on the tour.
There's a lot of, yeah.
I did Fargo.
Nice.
And that was cool.
Are you like an extra on that TV show?
Did you walk through a scene?
Yeah, yeah.
I did a cameo on the television show.
They had some fun casting on that show.
Like fucking Key and Peele were on it.
Did you see the Fargo TV show?
No.
It's amazing.
Really?
It's fucking unbelievable.
It's supposed to be.
I haven't seen it either.
It's like another Coen Brothers film. I am not fucking with you. It's awesome. It's It's fucking unbelievable. It's every week. I haven't seen it either. It's like another Coen Brothers film.
I am not fucking with you.
It's awesome.
It's my favorite TV show.
Yeah.
It's like Breaking Bad good.
Can I just point something out about Fargo real quick?
Sure.
I saw the movie Fargo, obviously, when it was new way back when.
And you know at the beginning it says,
these events are based on a true story.
No, this is a true story, right?
So Fargo, the TV show, just recently started.
I'm flipping around.
I catch an interview with William H. Macy about the making of the movie Fargo.
And he says that he goes up to the Coen brothers and he says, hey, guys, I'd love to take a
look at the case file, the actual case file for this, so I could get to know my character a little better
and really understand things.
And they look at him like he's crazy and say,
there is no case file, Bill.
This is made up.
This is fiction.
This is a made-up story.
And he's like,
but it says on the first page of the script, it says, this is a true story.
And the Coen brothers are like, yeah, but that's part of the movie.
It's within a movie.
The characters in the movie can say everything's true.
So it's not true.
Yeah.
Fargo, it's not true. Yeah. Fargo is...
It's not true.
Not true. No, it's not true.
The TV show goes...
The TV show goes even further
and at the beginning of every episode
it says this is a true story.
The names have been changed
to protect some people
and in other cases, shit's been made up
or something like that.
There's like three whole panels
of disclaimer at the beginning.
But it's always over a cool shot
of something that's happening in the very first scene.
It's an amazing show.
It's cinematic. It's like a movie.
I haven't seen...
I can't totally...
It reminded me, without having seen it,
of True Detective
oh yeah
wait no no
I'm sorry
I'm sorry the detective brothers
if you watch it
that's when you say like this taste smells like something
without
having seen it
it reminds you of True Detective
I just want to be clear about that
oh I thought you were laughing because I got it wrong.
It's called True Detective, right?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I thought I got it wrong, and then it's actually Detective Brothers.
I prefer to call it True Dick.
I shortened it.
No, but I'm enough of a follower of pop culture that I understand what it is that people like about something.
And you just sort of hear, even though you try not to hear the story details
I just get the sense that
True Detective is similarly
like watching a feature film every week
and wanting to see the next one immediately
that's what I really loved about how I saw Fargo
because I didn't get into it until the end
so I just watched them
I think you're absolutely right
and I've never seen either of them either
I've actually never listened to this podcast
but I feel like if I did
it would be like this
that's true
but I think you're wrong about that
why would I be wrong
that's based on a true story though
yes it's true
and finally Todd Sklar is here everybody
he finally said something when no one else was talking.
I'm enjoying you guys.
This is fun.
No, no, please enjoy yourself.
I like a quiet guest.
I'm just warming up.
I'm just warming up.
Okay, but also your whole, the reason I like having you on the show is because you're actually invested in the games and make your best effort to do well at them.
This is true. I planned to one day dethrone Sam at one point. Wow. actually invested in the games and uh you know make your best effort to do well at them this is
true i plan to one day uh dethrone sam at one point wow that's right he's listening that's a
goal i'm coming that's a fucking goal it is but he lost the other night oh spoiler if you haven't
heard it you haven't heard it yet sometimes he'll get boxed out you know and he just sits there and
you know looks like he's gonna explode but sad you know, looks like he's going to explode.
But... Sad thing about Todd, as I understand it, is he was formerly a member of the Sklar Brothers comedy duo.
Ah, unfortunately not.
Yeah, I was like, there's no room for a third person.
We'd call ourselves the Sklar Triplets if we had a third person in the act.
I went the route of cab driver instead.
It could still be the Sklar Brothers.
But I'm going to work my way into the Sklar brothers.
I feel like you've got to get to a certain level.
I'm getting there. I have a brother.
We are also Sklar brothers. We have a very different
thing now.
You've got to start a Twitter
called the other Sklar
brothers.
You've got to go with Sklar siblings.
How about the other brothers Sklar?
The real Sklar brothers. I was in a band in college called The Real Led Zeppelin,
which was pretty fun.
That's trippy, man.
That's pretty good.
That is not a true story.
It's based on a true story.
Fargo, fuck yourself.
Loose interpretation.
But Todd made a motion picture that I enjoyed a great deal.
It's still sitting on a chair in my home, waiting to be watched again,
because I enjoyed it so much and he was kind enough to send me a copy.
It's called Awful Nice.
Thanks, man.
Awful Nice, and it's really funny.
Has anybody here seen it?
All right, do yourself a favor.
Yeah, we got one.
And you liked it?
Be honest.
Be honest.
What? It sucked?
Oh, hilarious.
Yes.
You forced on him.
Hilarious and sucked are so similar sounding.
That's awesome.
Yeah, that's great.
That guy thought it was hilarious and everyone else will.
I pledged to you.
Write to me on Twitter.
If you don't like it, how much could it possibly cost to watch it right now?
Right now, I have no idea. It's 99 cents next week on iTunes. I know that. Okay, so next week. So don't buy it, how much could it possibly cost to watch it right now? Right now, I have no idea.
It's 99 cents next week on iTunes.
I know that.
Don't buy it right now. Buy it next week on iTunes
for 99 cents.
And then if you write to me and you didn't like it,
I owe you a dollar.
You're going to make a penny on this deal.
I'm going to go double or nothing. I'm going to double his dollar.
He's going to double it. We are each in for a dollar.
We're going in for a dollar.
Now you have a reason to pester two people that you should just leave alone.
I'm in for a dollar as well.
But yeah, I want people to watch it
because I enjoyed it a great deal.
And are you presently starting another film?
Or have you done another one since then?
We had a TV show. I think we got fired from it today, actually.
We're still figuring that out.
There's no better way to celebrate
than with Doug Loves Movies.
We have a TV thing, maybe,
and then there's another movie we're making this summer,
hopefully. So hopefully getting the next one going.
We're talking to the real Squire Brothers about that one.
Oh, cool. I don't know if we're going to get them.
If it's any consolation, when this airs,
you'll have been fired last week.
Yeah, that's true.
That's a good thing. I'll already be on to my next thing by then.
I'll have my next gig.
You've already had a week to heal.
That's true.
That's very true.
I don't think they say errors
about podcasts on the internet,
but this should be available tomorrow
if all goes well.
It drops.
It drops.
No, it's airing.
My shows are like Tom Cruise.
We make them on the edge of tomorrow.
Oh.
Well done.
That was like, you couldn't really laugh,
but you wanted to respect it.
It's not ha-ha funny.
It's just, well done.
Did Dimitri write that for you?
All right.
Dimitri Lipkin.
Playwright.
Did I just riff a Dimitri thing or something?
Did I say one of his jokes?
Mike was implying that a playwright by the name of Dimitri Lipkin
had written that last bit that you did.
It could be something somebody else said.
So it's based on a true story.
It's based on a true story.
It's based on a Dimitri Lipkin story.
It's based on a short film starring the Sklar brothers.
Ben Bailey, it says on IMDb.
Oh, no.
Which I like to read because IMDb.
Yes, you are.
Oh, it's great.
I'd say it every time.
Was that Lipkin again, do you think?
Rarely fails me.
That was a vintage Lipkin.
It's prolific today.
When did you discover that that was a thing you could say?
Was that like a great
moment in your life? I don't know how
I stumbled into it. I want to like see a videotape
of you realizing that moment.
Wouldn't that be great?
Just in the shower one day? Yeah.
It's just good to have a joke.
It's good to have a joke where the whole joke
is in the thing you're mentioning.
As soon as I say IMDB, I know exactly
what to say next.
Because IMDB, I know exactly what to say next. That is so good. Because I am DB.
You are.
According to those guys over at DB,
you have an uncredited role in Delivery Man?
Yes. Yes, I do.
Why is it uncredited, and what do you do in it?
I hope you're not one of his children.
I think Vince Vaughn wanted to be uncredited
in that one as well.
That is music to my ears, Mike B.
I was cut out of the film.
Oh, so that's not uncredited, that's cut out.
That's cut out.
I didn't know until just now,
having consulted IMDB,
that it was uncredited.
Wait, that's how you found out?
Yes.
Just now?
Just now, yeah.
You looked up your own IMDB today?
Dude, I've been going to IMBB all these years.
Don't fucking judge me. You started it.
I'm not in the backseat of your cab.
Stop fucking with me.
Oh, yeah, that's my follow-up question.
It's not as much a question as a comment.
They tell people before they get in the cash cab
that they're getting into the cash cab.
No, they don't.
They don't?
Really?
No.
Really?
Those people, really, that's their real surprise when the lights go off and they're in the cash cab?
And then they get out and sign the releases?
Yes.
And then they get back in?
Right after I say, let's take a ride in the cash cab, I pull over and get out.
Classic.
Classic.
Movie magic, everybody.
That's how they do it.
Are people ever furious?
Are people ever like, no, the Flatiron Building!
I'm like, 15 minutes, just read the papers.
We've got theater tickets!
I leave them in there,
and the crew and I get out
and play a little ball-bouncing gambling game
on the sidewalk
while we wait for them to sign their release forms.
And I have to study my questions, too.
Do people hem and haw about signing
their release, or are they all pretty much up for it?
They just sign it. Most of them just sign it.
Nobody walks away?
A couple of people have walked away.
Weird.
They have to go find another cab?
They have to go and fuck themselves.
That's what they have to do.
You don't want to ride in the cash cab.
Fuck you.
Go do something else. I don't care what it is.
No, I'm just kidding.
My favorite one ever was when...
People bailed out for different reasons.
I had someone say they were in the witness protection program.
So they could use a fake name.
I had a woman say that she worked for the CIA
and couldn't be on TV.
And I had several different couples say,
we can't play because...
Oh, wow.
Holy cow.
Of course that would happen, right?
This is not my wife.
We can't play because we came to play.
This is not my boyfriend.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I feel like there's a way around that.
They're like, we thought this was Taxi Cab Confessions.
We hail the wrong cab.
That's probably why there isn't a Vegas edition,
because you'd never get anybody.
We actually did a Vegas edition, though.
They did?
Yeah, we did with,
but it was like the nightclub acts playing for charity.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
All right.
That's that whole story.
That show's gonna,
it'll come back at some point, right?
I don't think so, no.
Really?
People miss it.
Well, but they sold it.
It's been sold.
It's owned by Nuvo TV.
Oh, so they just basically just sell all the reruns?
They sold them all the reruns that Adam Benson indicated.
Because it's pretty evergreen, the episodes.
And along with that, all the rights to make it.
Nobody can make it until that deal is up in three years.
Yeah, who do we write to
but I still have the cab
call your congressman
just do your own man
yeah
can't you just
start your own
do it on your own
that'd be so sad
if you just drove around
picking people up
alright
your first question
oh shit
we're already at
a red light challenge
I can't get over how much I love this breakfast club t-shirt that you're wearing in the front row Oh shit, we're already at a red light challenge.
I can't get over how much I love this Breakfast Club t-shirt that you're wearing in the front row.
Oh, nice. I just called that out.
Do you love it because your arms are covering up the two girls in the cast?
You can only see the dudes.
Oh, there you go.
Yes.
Oh, that's good.
Doug, you would have liked this, you're a Breakfast Club fan. Love it. Did you hear the Molly Ringwald episode of This American Life they did a few weeks ago? Oh, it was's good. Doug, you would have liked this. You're a Breakfast Club fan.
Love it.
Did you hear the Molly Ringwald episode of This American Life they did a few weeks ago?
Oh, it was so good.
So, Molly, it's a really good thing for people to listen to.
Molly Ringwald showed her daughter the Breakfast Club for the first time.
I think her daughter's 11.
And then they talk about it?
And then they talk about it.
Wow.
It is really.
Thanks, Mom.
I'm hungry.
Do you have any kids yet, Mike?
No, no.
I have a cat named Mazzy.
All right.
I want to book Mazzy on the show.
Watch Sleepwalk with me.
And just get down and talk about it.
Just find out.
What does a cat think of this movie?
Was the cat there long enough to have been there
when the actual events happened?
No.
Sadly, my other cat, Ivan, who's now passed away,
was there for that.
And then we lost Ivan last summer.
I take cats very seriously, so I can't lie.
Thanks, Mike.
We have some tissues and a car waiting outside.
I didn't mean to do that to you.
It's called The Fault in Our Cats.
Now, you are in The Fault in Our Stars,
which I probably had heard before I saw it,
but when I saw it, I was still surprised when you showed up.
Me too.
I thought I was uncredited like ban and delivery
man it does say your name in the beginning yeah right in the opening credits i think so yeah i
think it does so i was like whoa mike verbiglia and then you are the closest thing to comic relief
that that movie has i'm in two scenes in the movie and and my two scenes are both in the trailer for the movie,
because they couldn't squeeze anything else comedic.
Right, they didn't want to make the movie look like a total bummer,
which is exactly what it is.
It's sad from the get-go.
I think they didn't want to, yeah.
I think when you're selling movies,
and it's a beautiful movie, it's a lovely movie,
and I saw it twice and I cried both times,
but I think it's hard to sell movies
where people know they're going to cry.
If somebody's like, Doug, if you don't cry
soon, you're going to die.
I will pop in that movie.
Because it will get
the job done.
Those kids are so likable,
and it's just so fucked up
that they have cancer
and that everyone treats them so weird.
It's really well done
and upsetting.
I was in the
I don't know if you guys saw it
I was the cancer support group leader in this film
and the kids in the group
had cancer.
They're actual cancer survivors
and kids presently with cancer.
And it was really, it was really cool.
They were all like super fun.
We hung out with them for a couple of days
and like Shailene Woodley,
who's like a huge star and like everything
and was so cool to all of them
and talk to them all the time.
It wasn't like, it wasn't like an us, them,
sort of we're the actors, blah, blah, blah.
So it was pretty great. I mean, there's a good
group of people who made that movie, I feel like.
That would be pretty fun. Yeah, I mean,
fuck you kids with cancer.
We're actors.
We are major Hollywood actors.
And you little pricks can stay the fuck
out of it. That's what I kind of,
to be honest, I didn't know any of the people in advance.
I kind of thought that's what it was going to be like.
Yeah. It's not that hard to imagine. Yeah. At least you didn't know any of the people in advance. I kind of thought that's what it was going to be like. It's not that hard to imagine.
At least you didn't have to be in that scene with Sean Penn and I Am Sam
where some of the actors are not mentally handicapped and others are.
And they're all saying wacky dialogue to each other.
That's got to be the weirdest thing to do.
Is that a real thing?
To fake him out, they had people who weren't mentally challenged? I a real thing? They had to fake him out?
They had people who weren't mentally challenged?
I don't think they were trying to fake anybody out.
That was such an earnest snippet of conversation.
Punked wasn't a show yet.
That does sound like the
makings of a great reality show.
But you know,
that's the movie they're mostly making fun of in Tropic Thunder, I think,
is just how fully R-word Sean Penn goes in I Am Sam.
But he and another actor are both, you know, they're actors,
and then there's some gentleman with actual Down syndrome, and they're all standing around
trying to make an answering machine message,
and the punchline is one of them says,
if it's an outgoing message,
shouldn't you be more outgoing?
You know, like more energy
or whatever? Like, yeah, that's the kind of joke
that they give to one of the guys that's just
an actor, not, that wasn't
said by one of the handicapped individuals.
And every time I see it,
it brings me the deepest combination of joy and sadness.
I felt the same way about the other sister.
Oh, the other sister is crazy.
Yes.
It's so insane.
But at least they don't mix in any people.
It just seems like you'd be mocking them to their face all day
if you're shooting a scene with them and pretending to...
You'd think they'd know what...
Maybe they're smart enough to know what's up.
I think they prefer it to their face.
Yeah, right?
The guy that was on Life Goes On, Corky.
The guy that plays Corky, yeah.
Yeah, he seemed to get... The guy that plays Corky. Yeah, he seemed to get...
He knew what he was there for.
He knew the role he was playing.
Or maybe they're not smart enough and no one gets hurt.
Nikki Blazer.
I'm serious.
Nikki, please.
That's awful.
They are airing this nationally.
Nikki, MTV just called
and they want to cancel you again.
Oh, fuck.
Can they do that?
Can they double cancel you?
It is weird
that we live in a time where if you have a show,
I mean, I'm not sure this is something that happened
to Nikki and Sarah, but if you have a show
and you say the wrong thing in the wrong
way at the wrong time, someone could say, you if you have a show and you say the wrong thing in the wrong way at the wrong time,
someone could say
you don't have a show anymore.
It's scary. That happened to Pete Holmes
just from you telling his jokes.
Oh, Pete, I love you.
I love you, Pete.
Thank you, Mike. I love you dearly
and you're my good friends.
I think you're hilarious. Thank you, Mike. I love you dearly, and you're my good friends. I think you're hilarious.
She was getting way too serious.
That was perfect.
But now let's talk about SCOTUS.
No, we're not going to do that.
I don't have any hobbies, and I'm rarely in a lobby.
Let's not even talk about it.
No reason to get into it.
Have you guys been to the movies lately?
Let's start with Nikki over there.
I just left Fault in Our Stars.
What, walked out before it was over?
No, I just came straight here from Fault in Our Stars.
What miracle makeup do you have to change your puffy face?
I didn't cry.
What? I challenged myself going in because puffy face? I didn't cry. What?
I challenged myself going in because I knew everyone cried.
You wooden monster.
I know.
Right after the joke I just made, I'm a sociopath, clearly.
Yeah, I went and my roommate brought a bunch of Kleenex, but I just didn't.
I had to hold them back.
It was a struggle, but it was like a challenge I gave myself.
Oh, so you did fight it, though.
Oh, I fought it, yeah.
They're going to come out.
They're going to come out when you least expect it.
You're going to start crying.
Yeah, I'll feel it.
It's going to be weird.
It's going to be like a bus drives by with Shailene Woodley on the cover of InStyle,
and you're just going to lose your shit.
You're going to be like, where's her thing for her breathing?
Why is she modeling without it?
I do know what I'm going to go as for Halloween this year, though.
It's like you have an accessory.
You've got to drag that stupid tank around all night.
I know, that would be a burden.
Why didn't anyone help her?
Go as him.
He could have his fake leg underneath his pants.
I'm sorry.
I did love it, and Mike was so good.
And I also forgot he was in it until his face, and I was just, it was so, you were so good.
Is that why you didn't cry?
It does take you out of it a little bit.
You know, the guy Mike that you know is in charge of the support group.
But no, I really, I bought it hook, line, and sinker.
I was very, probably cried multiple times.
Someone should have helped her with that tank at the Dan Frank house.
You're absolutely right.
Right?
What?
What's happening?
I didn't cry at it, but that's only because I haven't seen it.
Right.
That's the best way to not cry at that movie is just not see it.
But I think even just thinking about it made me a little teary.
Just going in knowing it's about knowing it's about kids with cancer.
It's a bummer.
I'm going to cry about it after the show, and I haven't seen it.
First thing I'm doing.
I wish somebody would come in and say, I'm Patch Adams,
and somebody punch him in the face.
That's what I was thinking Mike was there to do,
was to be the Patch Adams guy.
He is the Patch Adams of Faults of Our Stars.
Please, please cut thats of Our Stars. Please,
please cut that out of this podcast.
Only if you take off
the clown outfit.
God damn it!
I have a question, Mike.
Did you write
that Jesus song?
Yeah, I did.
It's, uh...
Oh, so you get, like,
a song credit at the end?
Yeah, so I play guitar
in the movie.
That's big money, dude.
That is big money.
Oh, no, it ain't.
That's huge money.
Finally, cancer does
something for somebody.
No, it's, uh...
No, I play guitar
in the movie,
and it's in the script
that I play a song.
It is in the stage direction, but I never said, uh is in the stage direction, but I never said, in the screen direction, but I never said what the lyrics
were, and so I came up with this song, and it's just like three chords, and it's like,
Christ is our friend, and he'll be there till the end.
And I played it all day.
All day.
And yeah, it's in there.
You probably just made like $8 doing that.
Just singing right there.
That's a licensing thing.
That's all I do all day.
Anytime anybody plays it or sings it, you are getting paid.
Now I got to pay him for singing his song on my show?
I was hoping they would do sort of the Anna Kendrick thing
where they do sort of a Cups remix on the radio.
A whole music video.
Get some of that Top 40 money.
You really were hoping that, weren't you?
Yeah, I was, genuinely.
I put in an inquiry.
Have you been to the cinema lately, Mike?
Yeah, I saw
a wonderful David Wayne film
called They Came Together.
Yes!
I have not seen that yet, but I want to.
Which is all out funny,
and I know it's on iTunes right now,
so it's the same place that you're listening to this podcast.
Oh, yeah, just jump over.
Is it on Stitcher?
That's another place to listen to fun.
Is it on Roku?
How about Roku?
Are you mocking Nicky's great joke?
What about...
Yes, he is.
No, I'm not mocking it.
Just asking more questions.
I saw They Came Together,
and then that movie is so damn funny.
It really came together?
I haven't seen it.
It is.
It's Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler,
and yeah, that's hilarious.
Yeah, lots of people from the state pop in
as they do
in David Wayne movies
Michael Ian Black
is great in it
yeah
David Wayne
awesome
see that you guys
I want to see it
and last night on DVD
I watched The Long Goodbye
again
one of my favorites
but that's not in the theater
right now
but people should watch that
anyway
I bet somewhere in New York
that's in a theater
I have a theory
that you can find
any Altman movie
at any time
in New York
somewhere yeah that's at the film forum probably have a theory that you can find any Altman movie at any time in New York somewhere. Yeah, that's at the
film forum, probably. I bet you none of them
are playing anywhere tonight.
But it's a good point, though,
that they do have some amazing movies that do
pop up in the repertory
or whatever, but you watch it at home?
Yeah, my wife and I.
That's the one with
Elliot Gould.
And it's got one of the great cat scenes.
Ellie Goulding's in it?
What movie?
I love her.
And Ellie Kemper's in it as well.
Really?
Yeah, it's an unusually year diverse cast.
But it does have some of the great cat scenes, I think, of all time in film.
Have you ever seen the film?
Have you guys seen it?
What film are we talking about?
The Long Goodbye.
Oh, The Long Goodbye, yeah.
Yeah, it's the story of this guy who his cat won't leave.
It's about two hours trying to get his fucking cat.
He's just in the door going, goodbye.
He can't afford to pay it anymore.
Goodbye.
Mike's getting upset. in the door going goodbye you can't afford to pay it anymore goodbye they know what is it really upset he's got a thing about cats mike look at him i'm just in my head i'm just thinking about how i how they got the cat to do all this stuff in
the movie i mean they must have starved the cat because the cat uh like you know wanted to eat this food so badly and he the cat's jumping
all over the place jumps on elliot gould's shoulder and does all this stuff and it's uh it's pretty
wild it's great it's like well the ultimate it's the ultimate youtube cat video it's the original
youtube cat video is it supposed to startle you when the cat jumps on him no that's what cats
mostly do in movies is jump out to startle the
audience as much as the person on screen.
No, no, it's not to startle.
I think it's to
feel a kinship with the cat.
Because the cat is the closest relationship
that he has in the film.
There's a point where he goes
to the store to buy cat food
and the guy
at the cat food store is like
you got a cat? And he's like yeah.
And the guy's like
you got a cat? He's like no I got a girl.
He's like I don't got a girl I got a cat.
And then you're really
supposed to sort of buy into this idea that
he loves the fucking cat.
Have you heard
This American Life where they talk to the cat?
Oh yeah that's an extraordinary episode.
It's in five parts.
Nikki also brought for the prize bag
some Nikki and Sarah t-shirts,
like three of them,
so that's very generous of her.
Canceled twice.
And Todd brought a copy of...
a Netflix copy of his movie Awful Nice.
Wow.
Wow.
He's just asking that you send it back after you watch it.
Or he said, fuck it, I'll pay whatever they charge me for it.
But don't do that to him.
Watch it and then tweet.
What's your Twitter handle?
Uh, Colonel Sklar.
Colonel Sklar.
Colonel is such an easy name to spell.
Is it C-O-L?
Uh, yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's not so bad.
If you had to spell out all of Colonel, I don't know how many followers you'd get.
But, uh, you brought a shit ton of stuff.
What are all these cards?
Those are Desert Storm
cards and Terminator 2 cards.
Okay. Holy shit.
And then you brought
VHS copies of Under Siege
2 Dark Territory.
Oh, yeah.
I already have the laser disc on those.
Dire Hard with a
Vengeance.
Nice.
Aliens.
This apparently cost you $2.
That one did, yeah.
When you purchased it.
A Three Musketeers bar.
Soon to be a major motion picture from Michael Bay.
Fire Down Below.
The Lindsay Lohan story.
Is there a more, Nikki, is there a more recent girl that you'd make that joke about?
No, that was right on target.
Steven Seagal in Hard to Kill.
Oh, nice.
I'm not kidding around.
He brought a shit ton of tapes.
Yeah, you sure did.
You're just trying to get rid of shit. Raise your hand if you have a VHS player
Alright
There's enough of you that this might be worthwhile
So many people
It's a haul
It's so much more than I thought it would be
Who brought this book
Nice Bike Making Beautiful Connections
On the Road of Life?
That was a friend of mine from high school.
His dad is like a famous motivational speaker, and he wrote this book,
and he gave a copy to me one time,
which I think he was trying to reach out and help me or something.
I don't know what that was about.
Here's my book about motivation in life, and now I'm giving it to you guys
because I don't need it anymore.
I wrote in Awful Nice Bike. Could you guys because I don't need it anymore. I wrote in awful nice bike.
Could you sign it?
Yeah, you're welcome.
That is awesome.
That was well played.
Is that it? Oh, True Lies?
There's a copy of True Lies?
Yeah, True Lies. Fantastic.
The game.
I brought the game. Don't get me started about the game. That's why I brought the game.
Don't get me started about the game.
That's why I brought it.
That is, however, I should warn, that is a bootleg copy of the game.
That is somebody brought a camcorder into a theater.
So you kind of get like a laugh track and like a crowd.
It's kind of fun.
It's the real experience.
Why are they laughing at it?
It's really weird.
It makes you really think about what movies were like back then. It's weird.
Is that shown in Feel Around?
Oh my god. It's the thing.
We had Tomcats, which I didn't bring,
which is the same thing where they bootlegged it.
And it is unbelievable
the things people were laughing at. And I laughed
at that movie when I saw it in theaters, which is the dumbest
movie. It's called Tomcats?
Tomcats. Jerry O'Connell.
It's like American Pie. It's not about cats.
But not funny.
That's true, yeah.
There are no cats involved at all.
Settle down
Burbiggs.
It's all about this guy Tom
and his cats. Sounds good.
One guy has cats, the other guy has girls.
And they're like, how are we going to
feed these creatures?
Ben Bailey brought two copies of his, what's this CD called?
It's called Ben Bailey Boulevard.
Ben Bailey Boulevard.
Oh, one of the great Ben Bailey jokes.
Ben Bailey Boulevard.
Thank you, Mike Birbiglia.
Is this the real Ben Bailey Boulevard on the cover?
No, that's in a field in France.
Okay.
You shot that one? No, actually, I a field in France. Okay. Photoshop that one?
No, actually, I could have Photoshopped it, but I actually went there.
Oh, wow.
There wasn't really a sign that said Ben Bailey Boulevard.
There was, yeah, because I had it made and I brought it there.
Oh, yeah, nice.
And I mounted it on the post and then went out into the field and had the picture taken.
You know about Photoshop, right?
This was a long time ago.
And you also brought a copy
of Emmy Award winning
host of Cash Cap Ben Bailey's
Road, Rage, and
Accidental Ornithology.
The one
hour comedy event.
So I'm putting one
of each of those into the
prize bag, but since you brought two of each
I'm going to give away the other two
Randomly
Who wants this one?
Woo!
What an asshole.
All right, now keep in mind, this has pointier edges.
So be careful.
There you go.
All right, thank you for bringing those, Ben.
Hey, you're welcome.
It's the best thing I could find there on short notice.
I didn't know that I could have delved into my own video collection
Damn it
Did I ask you if you've been to the cinema, Ben?
You did not
Have you?
I have not been to
Moving on
The cinema of late
But I've watched movies
I haven't gone to the theater in a while
What have you seen just at home?
I just watched
Turn people on to something
Well, it's not anything that people wouldn't already know
But it's a great movie Kind of a silly, light movie that I really like.
Tomcats?
Tomcats.
Quickchange.
Oh, nice.
Anybody know Quickchange?
You guys remember Quickchange?
Bill Murray.
Yeah, that's the last movie I watched.
That, strangely enough, came up on the very last,
the most recent episode of this show.
Oh, did it really?
Because we had a category of movies that began with the letter Q
and the contestant was certain
that it was quick change and they were wrong.
Oh. Yeah.
That's a movie a lot of people love.
I think I still need to revisit it
because at the time I was a big Bill Murray fan
and everyone was saying how great it was
and it just didn't hit me right.
But that was a long time ago and I haven't revisited it.
It's a good one.
All right, cool.
I like it.
You have to suspend disbelief.
What's that?
You enjoy it, but it's a good movie.
Yeah, no.
I mean, there's no more hilarious topic
on a comedy podcast
than a movie that you thought was funny.
Clearly.
Just telling people how funny something is
is the most hilarious thing you can talk about.
I mean, we were getting bigger laughs
on the fucking cancer movie.
What have you seen lately, Todd?
I haven't been to the theater,
but I recently re-watched Mission Impossible 3,
which I love.
What were you doing?
Like a little tribute to Philip Seymour Hoffman?
It was a little bit of that.
It was a little bit of like I had recently watched,
not recently, like that morning I watched Days of Thunder
and I was going on a Tom Cruise
kick. Which Days of Thunder did you watch?
The original. The only. Oh, I meant
which of the days
in the film. It was the Daytona day.
The Days of Thunder was great because then
all day I was listening to the Days of Thunder
score, which is like the Top Gun
score combined with like
Seinfeld theme song.
It's amazing to like pump up
your day. Like it's just like a fun, exciting
like... I gotta check that out. I don't
remember the Seinfeld part. It's really
great. It's funky. Is it Kenny Loggins?
It feels like a Loggins jam. Yeah, it kind of does.
Yeah, it bumps around.
But then after that... Yeah, exactly.
And there's like... It builds still too.
It's a full orchestra. There's nothing I can't do with a race car.
That's right.
I wouldn't mind throwing in a plug actually
for the movie Obvious Child, which just came out.
That was a great movie.
I thought that was great.
Jenny Slade is really wonderful.
Jillian Robespierre, I think you say,
directed the hell out of it.
It's great.
That was a great movie.
I recently saw that.
I still would put Mission Impossible
3 above it, slightly. Very slightly.
Oh, wow. Okay. But I do love both those
movies. Sure, yeah. Mission Impossible 3 is great because
that is, you can't tell, I've probably seen it
40 times and I still don't know if
Philip Seymour Hoffman is a genius in it
or if he just doesn't care. Which, that's
part of the genius. He plays a psychopath
who actually is kind of psychopath.
No emotion. I understand him.
I bet you do.
And everybody gets
bombs planted in their heads.
That's great. That's a real thing.
That Ethan Hunt does a mean
Philip Seymour Hoffman impression.
Alright.
I've probably seen some movies lately, but we don't
have time to get into it because don't feel bad. I have a podcast about movies. I think I've probably seen some movies lately, but we don't have time to get into it
because don't feel bad.
I have a podcast about movies.
I'll be back.
I'll be back to talk about them some more
sooner than you probably want.
But right now I have to say,
let the games begin.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Who will rise out of the darkness?
They should have Bane just talking up the soccer matches.
He should be the FIFA announcer.
Germany's a very dark place.
Let's see your name tags, everybody.
And everybody on stage,
please go physically grab the name tag you want to play for.
And while they do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
And we're back. Who are you you who are you playing for nikki
i'm playing for uh well nick and anna's infinite playlist so nick and anna
mike berbiglia who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Rachel.
Yeah.
And she brought a sword.
Hansler?
A little sword that issues bubbles when you swing it around.
That's right.
It's a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sword.
It's a scythe, right?
That's a scythe.
Not to be a nerd, but that's a sai.
Yeah.
So here, could you hold this?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, boy.
We got a real sai rookie here, guys.
I don't know if the listeners at home.
We better get that cleaned up before the cat gets here.
I'm sure he never operated a sai before.
Nothing really happened to speak of.
That's like a green belt move.
Hey Mike, throw some bubbles out of that sword.
I just spilled all the bubbles everywhere.
There's still some left.
There's a little bit left.
I can't believe something that great happened
while I was vining.
Ben Bailey, who are you playing for?
I've got a Life of Brian poster here.
And the I in Brian has been changed to a Y.
So I believe I am playing for Brian with a Y.
Yeah.
Congratulations, Brian.
He was here last night at last night I picked that name tag
Oh really?
That's fun that he got picked again
I kind of feel like I got gypped a little bit
No no
Todd who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Dez
I think Dez is the one who had like 40 cookies
Which is going to very quickly become 20 cookies
Maybe zero cookies We're going to see quickly become 20 cookies. Maybe zero cookies.
We're going to see how this goes.
This is my best vine yet, you guys.
Will you keep your toys in your area?
I'm sorry, Ben.
It's really a sweet-ass vine.
Stop eating the cookies.
They're so good. I can't stop.
Todd likes cookies.
Should start a podcast. Yeah, seriously. It was so good. I can't stop. Todd likes cookies. Should start a podcast.
Yeah, seriously.
It's really good.
Okay.
All right.
The Vine has been, oh, it hasn't been uploaded successfully yet, but I'm working on it.
In the meantime, I'll just sit here and stare at the Vine I made at King's Island a couple days ago.
here and stare at the vine I made at King's Island a couple days ago.
Mike is controlling
the crowd with his bubble work.
You're a talented guy,
Mike.
You do so many different things.
I write, I direct,
I make bubbles.
Spill bubbles with me, is the name of your new...
Is that going to be your new thing?
Yeah, yeah.
You guys, Nikki and Mike, you're both in Amy Schumer's movie?
Yeah.
That's right, Trainwreck.
Yeah, Amy Schmover?
We've been filming that this summer, and I think it comes out next summer. Yeah, I Schmover. We've been filming that this summer,
and I think it comes out next summer.
Yeah, a year from now.
Does it have a NAMM?
Train Wreck.
Oh, yeah.
It's awesome.
That'll get the pod crowd to come out,
because that's a good strain name.
And it'll also get the action lovers,
because they'll think it's a Denzel Washington movie.
Yeah.
That guy's in a train every fucking movie lately.
Training day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
You get it.
I got it.
That's why you're the third funniest person on the internet.
Is he in How to Train Your Dragon 2?
No.
But if he was,
that would have been great.
How much did I get
for that one,
cash cab?
What did you say?
Was that a $25 question?
That'd be weird
if the questions
were like that.
Was he in this movie?
I just ask him
for directions.
How would you
go to get there from here?
Alright,
since Todd's really busy eating cookies,
they're so good. We'll start
on the
other end with Nikki and then we'll go to Mike
and then to Ben and then
to Todd. And then to
the hospital. The cookie.
As long as there's no peanuts in here, we're good.
I'm all right.
Yeah.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
No allergies.
That plate is like diabetes in one night.
It was pretty good.
I'm definitely going to fall over.
All right, Nicky, we're playing ABCD's Nuts.
And that is where we spell something by each of you guessing the name
of a movie that begins with the next letter
of the thing we're spelling, and if you
match what I wrote down ahead of time
for Psychic Twins,
then you win automatically.
I didn't get that at all.
Yeah, I'm not getting that either.
Oh, you're gonna get it.
We're gonna spell out Fault in Our Stars
in honor of our guest tonight, Mike Birbiglia.
Yeah.
And so, Nikki, the first letter is F.
Name any movie, has to be a motion picture, that begins with the letter F.
Free Willy.
That's a perfect example.
We didn't match up.
I said Fargo and then mentioned it a lot tonight just to see what would happen.
Well, you know what's interesting about that
is that it's not based on a true story.
I heard that before. I heard that.
All right, Mike.
Any movie that begins with the letter A?
Apple Dumpling Gang.
All right.
You probably haven't played this game before,
but that movie's called The Apple Dumpling Gang
and begins with the letter T.
No cats in that picture, by the way.
You laughed even though you didn't want to.
So try again, but then a movie begins with A.
You can do it.
Arthur.
Don't help him like that.
What'd you say?
Arthur.
Arthur, okay.
Was that what you coughed? I coughed awful'd you say? Arthur. Arthur, okay. Was that what you coughed?
I coughed awful nice.
Shameless plug.
Oh, okay.
Wait, which version of Arthur?
Oh, the recent one.
All right, just making sure.
Just making sure.
The classic.
I went with Agent Cody Banks.
Because it takes place in Seattle And I'll be at the Neptune Theater in Seattle
On August 22nd
And I'll be there New Year's Eve
Oh shit
More theater New Year's Eve, Seattle
Oh that's a sweet gig
That's a sister theater of the Neptune
Alright
Yeah
Mike, give me a movie that begins with you I'm sorry, Nicky of Neptune. All right. Yeah.
Mike, give me a movie that begins with U.
I'm sorry, Nikki.
Nikki.
Oh, back to me.
Wait, where are we going?
Sorry.
Ben, Ben, Ben.
I'll do it.
Ben, Ben, Ben.
Wait, you haven't been
smoking pot, have you?
Ben, Ben.
Let's go with Ben.
I'm like, whose turn is it
and how do we get to U?
Is it U to me?
Yeah, fault in our stars
is what we're spelling oh and you
get the letter u any movie begins with the letter u any movie that begins with you could just start
making the noise you'll probably get there just go up the academy what up the academy
we got a fan we got a fan back there that was the director of Up from the Academy.
He's crying tears of joy.
So fucking close. I said Up.
That's why I was like, what?
Another second
I might have gotten to that one.
And the reason I said Up is because
I love balloons. to that one. And the reason I said up is because I love balloons.
L, Mike.
Sorry. Todd.
I just want to go the other way. Why don't we just go the other way?
I don't want to bring my game anywhere near all these cookies.
I'm going to go with
Lethal Weapon 2.
Oh, okay. That'd be fun if I had written
Lethal Weapon 1 or 3 or 4.
But I went with Love and Other Drugs.
Yeah.
Because it was filmed partially or maybe all of it in Pittsburgh,
and I'll be there August 9th and 10th.
Okay, so now we're back to Nikki, and the letter is T.
The Apple Dumping.
See, there you go.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Terminator. I swear you could say that. No, you could have it. See, there you go. I'm just kidding. Terminator.
No, you can have it.
No, I don't think that
Doug didn't pick that. The Apple Doubling Gang.
Terminator. I went with Tenacious
D in the Pick of Destiny.
Because I'm going to
be playing at their Festival Supreme
on October 25th
in Los Angeles. Tickets are on
sale.
Mike, the letter I.
Interspace.
Oh, I love that movie.
Yeah, Joe Dante was going to be a guest on the show,
but he got a directing job and he had to cancel,
but I'll try to reschedule him as soon as possible
because that guy's awesome.
I went with In the Line of Fire
because it was shot in Washington, D.C.,
where I'll be at the Improv on August 7th.
And I'll be at the Warner Theater November 5th.
Nikki, Ben, feel free to jump in
with any dates you have in the same city that I do.
If I happen to book any while we're sitting here.
That's a fun game.
It could happen.
It could happen.
When does this air?
N is the next letter.
N to me?
Never Say Never Again.
Oh, okay.
Wow.
That's a Bond film that a friend of mine thinks isn't a Bond film.
And I went with nine months because I saw a few minutes of it on HBO today while I was figuring this out.
Oh, Todd.
Is that a movie?
I'm going to go with Octopussy to stick with the Bond theme.
Oh, okay. Yeah, that's something I might have written.
But I wrote Office Space
because it's awesome.
That's great.
Saw some of that on cable recently
and it just really, really holds up nicely.
The letter U, Nikki.
That's not a movie.
Um the movie.
I wish.
Something with un.
Unbroken.
Oh.
What's that?
Unbreakable.
That's what I meant.
Oh, there you go.
Oh, that's what unbroken is? Is unbreakable? Yeah, that's what it Unbreakable. That's what I meant. Oh, that's what Unbroken is?
Yeah, that's what it is.
Okay.
I went with Urban Cowboy
because I'm going to be at the Houston Improv
on August 11th.
R, Mike.
Rear Window.
The recent Christopher Reeves version.
His wasn't called Rear Window, though.
Oh, okay. I don't think. I think they gave it
a new name. Christopher Reeves.
Reeve.
The original Hitchcock, Rear Window.
The original Superman was
Dan Reeves.
Settle down, Cassius Cab.
Sorry, I'm getting excited.
How much do I get, $100?
I'm excited to be on this side of a game.
I am so...
I'm excited to have you on this side of a game.
Because you are...
I've been wanting to answer questions for you.
You're not only a great game show host,
but you're fucking driving a cab in Manhattan
while you do it.
It's unbelievable.
Thank you.
And my apologies to the families of the people that I've killed.
Oh, my God.
Oh, dear.
S, Todd.
Oh, wait.
What are we on?
R?
What happened?
S to me?
Who's Esteban?
Superman.
Superman.
What?
Superman.
Oh, okay.
I went with sleepwalk with me.
For reasons that are personal.
I didn't know ahead of time.
They're all on Netflix in case you haven't seen it.
T is the next letter.
There's a documentary coming out called Top Loves Cookies.
But that doesn't count, so I'm going to go with Time Cop.
Time Cop?
What was yours?
I think I know your genre.
Time Cop's a great movie.
Time Cock?
Time Cop.
John Clonk.
I mean, it might as well have been called that,
but it was Time Cock. Time Cock.
The Invention of Viagra.
I went
with The Wicker Man.
Oh, wow. Because I'm interrupting
it. It's in a family in Los Angeles
on July 16th.
Hey, Nikki.
Arachnophobia.
That's a great A word
Thank you
I went with A Prairie Home Companion
Because it was made in Minnesota
And I'll be doing
Douglas movies in Minneapolis on August 15th
At the Women's Club
Yeah
R, Mike
RoboCop
The original or the new one?
The original
Oh
Dude the new one is not that bad
Shut up
It's not that bad
Turn off his microphone
If you had never seen the first one maybe
It doesn't touch the first one or even the second one
But it's not that bad
I'd buy that for a dollar.
Yeah, the first one, if you go back and watch it now, it's a little slowly paced,
and there's kind of long scenes where there's not much going on in a weird outdoor construction site or whatever.
But if they had just tightened it up and added a few little twists, they could have made a great movie,
and I think they blew it.
That's my opinion.
I didn't think it was unremakeable.
I just think that they...
what they did try to do didn't work.
For me. I'm a sucker for robots that are
cops. Alright, well... That's a genre that I do...
Don't worry about it. It's not gonna go away.
They're not gonna give up on it.
But I didn't like this one
personally. But for my R word,
I went with Rampart because it's a
little scene movie
that Woody Harrelson's amazing in.
And the final letter
is S.
Who are we on? Me.
Ben.
See what I mean? He's great at keeping track of stuff.
And I've got a classic
for my S movie. Okay, then you're gonna miss, but go.
It's a little Sylvester Stallone film
that I love called Stop or My Mom Will Shoot.
That is a good one.
That is the sort of thing I would think of.
But instead, I went with a movie I'd never heard of before.
Because it stars Mike Birbiglia, and it's called Stanley Cuba.
Oh.
What is that, Mike?
What is that movie?
It's a film I was in a great many
years ago, and it's
confusing.
Confusing to you,
or it's confusing to watch?
I think
I tried to watch it once.
It was...
As an audience member, I was confused.
And then as the star of the movie, I was really confused.
Who wrote the movie?
I don't want to go into it.
No, it's...
Yeah, it's a movie I was in.
Yeah.
Is it on Netflix?
It is so... Honestly, it's quite confusing. It's a movie. Is it on Netflix?
Honestly, it's quite confusing.
It's abstract.
Let me compliment it and say it's abstract.
That's nice.
Don't want to burn that bridge.
They probably got something hot coming up.
Stanley Cuba 2.
Colon. I'm back.
That'd be a weird title.
Two, like T-O-O?
Sure, why not?
Number two?
Why not at this point?
People are going to make that joke anyway.
You might as well make it T-O-O.
Stanley Cuba also.
Just to stick with the confusing theme.
Still Stanley Cuba.
Still Stanley Cuba.
Stanley Cuba after all these years.
Stanley Cuba Gooding Jr.
That's a thing.
I don't know what game you're making up right now,
but I need you to fucking cash curb that shit.
Because I got another game.
Nobody won ABCD's nuts, which means everybody won,
is a better way of phrasing it.
Let's play, we'll just go the opposite order this time.
We'll start with Todd and go all the way through everybody.
And we're going to play a round of Last Man Stanton.
The young lady in the breakfast club shirt, did you get your name tag picked?
No.
Okay.
So I know this isn't the greatest consolation prize, but could you name... the idea is we're going to take turns, I'll play along on this one, we're going to take turns naming movies that the person she picks is involved with until, when you can't think of one, you're out.
Or when you say one that's not a movie by them.
Oh boy.
Or with them.
So name an actor, actress, or director director or director if you want to say
it normal who has a has a large body of work somebody throughout Rachel wise
Weiss recently and it's like she's you know she's made maybe a ten movies but
that's a tough one who do you think we should do? Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey. I love it.
Wow.
Love it.
Love it, love it, love it.
All right.
So we're going to start with Todd.
I'll start with the first movie I ever saw in movie theater, which was Ace Ventura, Pet
Detective.
All right.
Liar, liar.
The Mask.
No, I believe him when he says that's the first movie that he has seen okay
it's based on a true story the mask all right slow down you guys slow down a stretcher pd
don't need to write it out. And then, what'd you say, Liar Liar? L-L.
The Mask.
Okay, what'd you say?
The Mask?
Mm-hmm.
Good one.
If you would have said Mask, I would have said,
Sorry, that's Eric Stoltz.
Yeah.
But you threw that the on there.
You tricked me.
Rocky. Nikki? Mr. Pop. You tricked me. Rocky.
Nikki? Mr. Popper's Penguins.
Oh. I was cut out
of that one, actually.
I have the casting crew t-shirt.
Really?
Yeah.
Fucking shirt
dropper.
I Bill Bailey'd that shit. I Bill Bailey'd that shit.
I Ben Bailey'd that shit.
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
But while we're on the subject,
Bill Bailey, won't you please come home?
Bill Bailey, for the record,
is my father.
Just so everybody knows.
And he is home.
I feel dumber now than when I spilled
bubbles on the stage.
It's okay, Mark.
It's my turn.
I'm going to go with
Earth Girls Are Easy.
By the way,
I'm not fucking around in this game.
I'm going to go with
Dumb and Dumber.
Alright, Dumb and Dumber 2 doesn't count, you guys.
No sequels?
No, not one that just hasn't come out yet.
Fair, that's fair.
Ben?
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.
What? Are there really people impressed by that?
They weren't sure.
If you're going to do that...
He said it like it was very impressive.
If you're going to do that, I'm going to do Anchorman 2.
Oh.
That's a good move.
Full title. The audience demands it.
Man on the Moon.
Ron Burgundy, blah, blah, blah.
Something.
Right?
That's not going to fly, Pete.
No, all right.
Would you do that in front of Paul Rudd?
You were sitting next to him the last time you were on the show.
Sleepwalk with blah, blah, blah.
No, I didn't know.
I thought Anchorman 2 was going to get me there.
He didn't put his soul into that like you did.
He would find that funny.
But seriously, though, what's the fucking movie called?
Anchorman 2
colon
I'm not even sure about it.
Wow, you don't know it either?
I think you were there.
I think you were in the ballpark.
The Legend of Ron Burgundy.
No.
I'm sorry, it's The Legend Continues?
Yeah. Yeah. That's it it's The Legend Continues? Yeah.
That's it? Just The Legend Continues?
Rachel, I'm so sorry.
Ron Burgundy, The Legend Continues, yeah.
Sorry, dude.
I'm gonna drink a bottle of bubbles now.
Drink away his misery.
But maybe you'll get some inspiration from it
and make Sleepwalk With Me 2
The Sleepwalking Continues.
Do you ever sleepwalk anymore? I do yeah
Are you sleepwalking right now? I might be I'm so mad. I lost this fucking game
There's another game coming up that's more important. This is just a way station.
You could just throw some bubbles around.
You can reenact the gentlest episode of Game of Thrones.
If Lawrence Welk were on Game of Thrones...
Who's next? What happened?
Man on the Moon.
Oh, that's a good one.
Well done.
I will go with
Once Bitten.
Oh, you son of a bitch.
I'm gonna to go with
I Love You, Philip Morris.
Ooh.
It's a good movie.
It is.
He really commits.
Like, his last few performances,
he's an insanely committed performer,
like Tom Cruise-level committed.
He just needs to find the right projects.
That's my career advice to him.
Mike, are you auditioning for I Am Sam right now?
I Am Sam 2.
Sleepwalk, won't you?
Anything I would respond with would be offensive.
I know.
Whose turn is it? Ben's turn.
Did someone say Bruce Almighty yet?
No.
I'm going to go with
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
This would be a lot easier
if you guys weren't naming them too you keep taking mine
it's kind of amazing how i think so far he's only had one movie that begins with the word the
that's pretty interesting no it isn't um
i'll go with the Truman Show. I'm going to go with Ace Ventura 2, When Nature Calls.
Oh, nicely done.
I was loathe to step in there because I was worried I would say it wrong.
When Nature Calls.
Okay, Ben.
What do you got?
It's kind of a time limit.
I like the sound of that.
Like what do you do in Cash Cap when somebody just sits there and thinks for too long?
We give them all the time they need.
And we provide them with high speed internet access.
As quickly as possible.
Oh, I just saw another one.
I can't believe I'm not going to get.
Oh, and another one.
Oh, there's that one.
So many.
And even I have another one.
I'm not even playing anymore
what's the one with the cats in it
it's a tough game
there's no shame in saying you just can't think of one
I know that
but I'm not fucking saying it
it's pretty hard
take your time
thank you
it's just to give her more time to think
Todd how are you doing
I got one
he's got one
I got one
I'm screwed man
I got nothing
alright Ben
five seconds
I'm out
I'm out
okay
could have taken
five seconds
okay I'm trying to
think of the one
with Taylor
and him
as husband and wife
oh of course
I keep wanting to say
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
because it's something
like that.
Yeah, but nobody in this room is going to help you
in any way.
Don't make gestures.
But you know what I'm going to go with
just to see if this works?
Okay.
Austin Powers gold member.
That does not work.
That absolutely does not work.
Am I next?
Do I get to go next? Do I get to go next?
Do I get to say fun with Dick and Jane?
You do.
You do.
I was thinking about
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.
Excellent.
Excellent.
Is it Lemony Snicket and or Lemony Snicket's
A Series of Unfortunate?
I think it's just Lemony Snicket's, yeah, colon.
There's a big oversight in all of this, by the way.
A series or just series?
A series.
Yeah, okay.
I think you said it right.
Yes.
All right.
I'm a pretty big Lemony Snicket's fan.
I wouldn't mess that one up.
Oh, I loved when Rich Hall used to do Snicket's on SNL and get whole books full of Snicket's.
I thought it was just Lemony Snicket. A series of unfortunate events.
Lemony Snicket.
I'll go with the Cable Guy.
Oh, sorry.
No, I'm out.
Oh, you're out.
Okay, but Ben's got to go.
No, I couldn't think of one.
Everybody's out?
It's just me and Todd?
Yeah.
Okay, then I'll still go with the Cable Guy.
Oh, boy.
That is, oh, boy.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
I'm going to go with
The Night the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Is that what that's called?
It's not called that.
No, really?
Yes, and for the win, Doug says
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
Wait, what is that?
No.
Wait, wait, settle down.
No way.
No.
You're all wrong, and then the person who wins
is the first person who lost.
Yeah, yeah, reverse.
You wanted me to put Dr. Seuss on it?
How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
And the movie is about how he did it.
That's a good idea for a title.
Yeah, it makes total sense.
I got so excited about what I thought he got wrong about it.
I was like, I got this.
So what happens?
Well, I can name another one.
No, I haven't officially won.
But if I name another one, I could call myself the winner.
Would it be wrong for me to point out?
I'm the last one to correctly name one.
What's your other one?
Let's go with, how about Kick-Ass 2?
That was mine.
And I could keep going.
Do. What else do you got?
Oh, please do.
Give me one more.
No, I don't know if I can. Oh, wait, I think I can.
I think I can. I think I got this.
Yes, I got this.
Peggy Sue got married.
Oh, nice one.
Alright, so no winner again.
It's another draw.
So we'll go...
What's the matter, sir?
That's what I was going to do.
What was it?
Batman and Robin, he said.
Exactly.
No, it was Batman.
Batman forever.
Batman forever.
Batman forever.
Batman forever.
I've yelled at every Batman movie,
but yeah, it was Batman forever.
Yeah, no, there's more.
Yes Man.
Yes Man, nice work, yeah.
The Majestic.
The number 23.
The number 23.
Christmas Carol, the animated one.
Me, Myself, and Irene.
That's the one I was looking for.
Yeah, the dude's made plenty of movies.
For sure.
He kept at it. Can you pick someone else? I'm just kidding. Yeah, the dude's made plenty of movies. For sure. He kept at it.
Can you pick someone else?
That was a great suggestion.
I like that one.
Oh, yeah, it's great.
Yeah, thank you.
Would you like a cookie?
Oh, you want a cookie?
Yeah, give her a cookie.
That's a great...
I'm not liable for any poisoning or anything that happens with that cookie that you just ate.
Just treat the audience like they're Shamu or some shit.
The guy who ate ten cookies is the one treating them.
No, you've got to give some away.
They're really interesting looking.
They look like pieces of chicken with paprika on top.
But they're cookies.
There's a flavor in there that I haven't been able to place yet,
and that's why I think I'm going to eat more of them.
Just to figure out the flavor?
Just to figure out what it is.
It's like a Heath Bar thing or something.
Oh, now I'm intrigued.
Could the...
Oh, my God.
The audience is laughing at something the audience said
what
she said she didn't
make the cookies
she said she didn't
even make them
these could be poisons
okay
she works at a place
that makes these cookies
I'll take it
I'm glad we got
to the bottom of that
as long as we know
who my parents can sue
after I die
from eating them
I'm good to go
you really gotta
start Todd Loves Cookies
and just get this shit
off of my show.
Can I get another vodka soda, preferably?
I guess you have Tito's here.
We could be drinking this whole time.
Wouldn't you get a chance?
Yeah, yeah.
I think I muttered something about
if you want a drink, just ask for it.
Could I have a Heineken?
Sure.
A Heineken for Mr. Bailey, please.
This is going to be a tall order.
And some Baileys for Mr. Sklar.
Do you have milk?
If there's milk, I would love milk.
Or a White Russian.
Anything to dunk the cookies in.
That would be in heaven.
Make him something it would be good to dunk cookies in.
And that would be perfect.
Awesome.
We've got some extra waters coming in.
This is great.
This is fantastic, yeah.
Thank you very much.
All right, everybody's going to be properly hydrated because it is time to play. Don't spill it, Mike.
It's time to play the Leonard Maltin game.
Let me get my device out and open up the app.
Should have done that a while ago.
And let's remind everybody who we're playing for.
Nikki's playing for Nick and Annie.
Nick and Anna.
Anna, okay.
Sorry about that.
Oh, there's my drink.
Thank you so much.
And Mike's playing for this.
Playing for Rachel.
The sword, Rachel's sword.
The sword of Rachel. And Ben's playing for this. Playing for Rachel. The sword, Rachel's sword. The sword of Rachel.
And Ben's playing for Brian.
Yep.
And Todd is playing for cookies.
Yeah.
Cookies by Des.
But whose name, Des?
Oh, yeah.
And her place of employment.
Yeah, the place where she works.
Right.
Made these cookies.
What's, is Des short for something?
Badejda.
Badejda? Wow something? Badejda?
Like Badejda
Maryland?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Didn't mean to give your friends something to call you,
but your friends don't listen to this shit. Podcasts are something you listen you But your friends don't listen to this shit
Podcasts are something you listen to
And your friends don't want to hear anything about it
Like I don't listen to that
Shut up
You get to pick a category Nicky
At tab underscore James
Suggested on Twitter
The Fisher Price King
And that's movies that have toys in them.
That's a lot of movies.
Also, celebrating a birthday today, Gary Busey was born on June 29th, which was probably yesterday.
Happy birthday yesterday. Happy birthday yesterday.
36, yesterday.
Gary Busey.
And at Mama Flea,
M-O-M-A-P-H-Y-L.
I don't know why that would be somebody's L-Y.
Mama Flea, are you here?
Mama Fly?
Moma Fly?
That's what you people want.
You people.
That's what you want people to get out of this We want people to look at it and go
Oh that says Momafly
He hangs out at the Museum of Modern Art a lot
Alright dude
I mean if you're happy with it
I don't mean to disparage it
It's a good category you came up with
It's called Deep Fried Bacon.
And it's movies where Kevin Bacon smokes weed.
Oh, God.
That's amazing.
Good job, Mama No-Full-Moth Leaf Heaf.
Which one do you like, Nikki?
I'm going to go with the toys one.
I'm sorry, MoMA.
Sorry, MoMA.
Oh, MoMA. One and MoMA. Oh, MoMA.
One and a half stars from Leonard for this movie
that has toys in it.
The year is 1992.
He calls it appallingly bad.
Seems a little...
I mean, one and a half seems a little generous
after calling it appallingly bad.
But he says it has an ingenious
production design,
but it's also a heavy-handed mess.
And he lists nine, 12, 14 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Nikki Glaser?
Six.
That is a bold bid.
Is it? I think so.
What do you think, Mike?
A nine.
Did I not understand the game?
I would wake you up, but I've been told it's dangerous.
I think I knew the game.
Are you going to explain it to me?
You can bid less names.
You can say name that movie to Nikki and hope she doesn't know it after hearing six names reading from
the bottom of the 14 names?
It's just
actors that are in the film. Oh, it's
from the bottom? From the bottom.
Doug, I'm sorry.
I cannot
get it in six names. You think you wouldn't have to tell
the people who have been on the show
how to play it.
People just sort of skate through it without paying attention.
They come back and go, you gotta do what?
But yeah,
that's why I said it was a strong bid.
Yeah, I get it now.
I understand why you said that now.
So Mike, if you say name it,
she's gonna hear six names and maybe she won't name it.
If she misses it, you'll get the point.
Or you could try to name it five.
Do you have a feel for what this movie might be?
I got one guess, but it's probably not correct.
All right, then just ask Nikki to name it
and we'll end this misery right now.
All right, then name it, Nikki.
Okay.
All right, your six names are
Yardley Smith,
Art Metrano,
Blake Clark,
Jamie Fox
is in this movie
Debbie Mazur
the late great Jack Warden
and somebody I don't know
oh that's six names sorry
the next name is
somebody I've never heard of
and I even saw this movie
one and a half stars
from Leonard it's got toys in it.
It's appallingly bad.
It's got some sweet moments at the outset.
Did I say that?
And a heavy-handed mess.
I'm going to say the movie Toys.
That's correct.
Yeah.
It's the only thing it could have been.
I remember hating it.
I can't believe I watched.
I mean, I know
that was easy, but that was still impressive
to myself. Tig has scored points in this game.
She doesn't know anything. Admittedly so.
I'm not insulting Tig.
Alright, so that means we're going to...
It was about insulting me.
No.
We're going to start with Todd and then go towards Mike.
So Ben will be next after Todd.
And Todd gets to pick.
That's actually Bill.
Thank you.
Formally.
Formally.
Batman Rises or Begins, whichever one you prefer.
And it's the early films of Jason Bateman.
Oh, Jesus. Also, as suggested by
at USC Rascal,
Halificent.
That's right.
Hal-ificent.
And that's movies that have evil computers in them.
Ah, wow. Hal-ificent. And that's movies that have evil computers in them. Wow.
And your third option,
Scott Beowulf,
which is films with Scott Beowulf
or werewolves or both.
I only know one early Jason Bateman film,
so I'm not going to do that one.
But it does feature werewolves.
I can combo.
I'm going to go, what was the middle one?
Evil Computers?
I'm going to do that one.
All right.
Would you like an evil computer movie from 1977, 1982, 1983, or 1995?
Wow.
I know.
I had no idea until I researched this.
There's so many evil computer movies.
That's four out of the 30 I found.
Wow.
Yeah, computers fuck shit up all the time.
I'm going to go with...
Do you even remember the four choices?
One of them is Lawnmower Man, for sure. I'm going to go with... Do you even remember the four choices? One of them is Lawnmower Man, for sure. I'm gonna go
with...
It's gotta be. I don't know what year
that came out, but that is definitely one of those movies.
There's only so many evil computer movies. It's an interesting
approach to this game.
I'm gonna go with... Everyone, the answer
is this.
Let me do the...
What were the two 80 ones?
82 and 83?
83 and 85.
Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
82 and 83.
You were right.
I'm going to go with 83.
Okay.
Two and a half stars from Leonard
for this movie from 1983.
He says about this movie
that it gets more contrived
as it goes along.
And he also says that the adults in the film, most of the adults in the film, are boobs.
Boobs.
Boobs with a W.
That to me just says that Leonard's got the wrong thing on his mind.
Could have said idiots.
Not made me think about tits.
And he lists nine names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Todd Sklar.
I'm going to...
Oh, boy.
Come on, T.S.
There's one of two movies.
Come on, T.S. I'm going to go negative, boy. Come on, T.S. There's one of two movies. Come on, T.S.
I'm going to go negative one.
I love you.
T.S., I love you.
But I might be wrong.
He said one.
He said negative one.
Let me explain that to you now.
Please, please do that.
When somebody goes into negative bids,
that means they have to name the movie.
Since he said negative one, he's got to name the movie
and the top billed person in
the movie. So you have to go
You have to go
negative two or more
or just ask
him to name it and like I've often said
hope that he's got the wrong movie in mind
and gets it wrong.
I'm going to go nine.
I'm going to need you to get out of the cab.
All right, well, I don't really have...
You've got to go negative two, three, four.
If you don't think you know it,
you should just ask him to name it.
Oh, okay.
Hang on, everybody.
Call a friend, this guy.
To use a street shout-out.
All right, a 1980s...
Can't do a street shout-out.
My favorite street shout-out is somebody actually stuck their head out the window
and asked what was clearly an old German lady,
what's a haiku?
Haiku.
Did she get it?
Did she know what it was?
She did not.
She was of no help.
And also it looked painful for her to stagger over to the car.
All right.
It's an evil computer movie made in 1983.
That came out in 1983.
That's all we know about it.
Well, it also gave you some other clues, but the clues are generally not meant to help.
The adults in it are boobs.
The adults in it are boobs. That's the one that tipped me off.
Boobs.
Boobs.
Boobs.
You're saying you can name the movie and the top
billed actor. Yes.
I can either say I can name it the movie
and the top two. Yes.
Or I can tell you to just do it.
Right. And if you get it,
if I do that and you get it, then I lose.
I get a point. You get a point.
It doesn't affect me at all. Right.
If you do it,
then you get the point. Right. Name it.
Alright. I am
going to...
It's one of two movies, and
if I'm wrong, I'm going to be really mad at myself.
Not Sam LaVena. I'm going to go with
War Games, Matthew Broderick.
That's correct.
Oh!
Nice. That was mine.
But I didn't have to know.
I had it, but I didn't have to.
Who's two?
Yeah.
Who's second bell?
Who's the other one?
No idea who else is in that movie.
Yeah, Ally Sheen.
Oh, yes, Ally Sheen.
Nice.
But what really kind of gave it away, I'm assuming, is when I said the adults are boobs,
because what movie's about a computer?
Yes.
That's going to be surrounded by adults trying to figure out what's up with this computer.
It's very rare computer. Where the kids
are the smart ones in a computer
movie, it's War Games.
Congratulations, Todd. You have one point.
You're on the board.
Can we point out the other actors
on that one? What's that?
What's the rest of the actors?
Then it went Ally Sheedy.
Oh, no, I'm sorry. Dabby Coleman slipped in there.
So did John Wood,
the old guy that invented the program.
And then Ally Sheedy,
and then Barry Corbin,
who was local law enforcement,
and then four people,
I couldn't tell you what they did.
Oh, Michael Madsen was in it.
What did he do?
Did he get bit by a snake?
Did he cut a guy's ear off?
That's a fun game.
Just keep saying things Michael Madsen did in movies.
All right.
So since Ben challenged Todd, we're going to start with Mike and go to Nikki.
And Mike is, can I call you Mike? Is that all right? Yeah, Mike's go to Nikki. Can I call you Mike?
Is that all right?
Yeah, Mike's fine.
Okay.
Your options are,
and they're always glad you came,
and that is not porn films.
That is movies with actors
from the TV show Cheers.
Wow.
Yeah, one or more.
Probably just one actor from Cheers. Look at the Yeah, one or more. Probably just one.
Yeah, sure.
Actor from Cheers.
Look at the Flowers
is a fun category
that's inspired by The Walking Dead
and what happened on that show last season.
And this, of course,
is movies where a child is killed.
Let me do the other
Always Glad You Came.
Or
Turn Over a New Leaf,
and that's the early films of Joaquin Phoenix
when his name was Leaf Phoenix.
Let's go with Their Always Glad You Can.
Two stars from Leonard for this movie from 2006.
He says about it that it has a showdown in it.
And he also says that it's the weakest in the series.
That's a big clue.
And it's also overheated.
And these cookies got burnt.
He says that it's got 7, 9, 11, 14, 16.
He names 19 names.
How many names can you get it in, Mike, for Biglia?
From the bottom of the list?
You could just say 19.
You could just have them all.
I'm going to say 10.
Okay.
Cut it in half almost.
Nikki?
I'll say 9.
Whoa.
Throwing it over to Todd.
He's got to really think about this.
Because he probably knows the answer.
I'm going to keep the train going.
I'm going to go eight.
Oh.
He's still not sure.
Benny B.
How come you never picked up any black people
that is just not true
just not true
Doug Benton
oh fuck Oh, fuck.
Things that are running through my head right now.
It's a dumb question.
Just having fun with stereotypes.
Cliches.
How many do you think you can do it in?
I completely forgot the game that we're playing right now.
It really is hard for black people to hail a taxicab television show game.
Was that a question?
Okay, since you say they're never going to ask you to come back and the whole series is done,
can you say now that were you ever high while driving the cab and asking people questions?
Yes.
Very nice.
He said nine names?
Eight names?
Eight names.
So he only needs eight out of 19, Ben.
Give me the info again.
19 names.
It's a lot of names.
Two stars from Leonard.
2006 is the year.
Overheated.
He said it was...
You said you could name it an eight.
Yeah.
And I can either say less than that or or make you name it weakest
in the series weakest that's a huge clue i think it is but
but todd todd you're definitely walking right into it if you go against him but also the show's
running long so it wouldn't bother me none there's's a chance if you say seven, he may say six too. Yes, there is.
Good point, Todd. I've thought about that, Todd.
I've considered that
possibility.
Name it.
All right.
Get to wrap this thing up.
Eight names you get?
Yep. All right. Congratulations.
Sorry, guys.
Because your eight names are R. Lee Ermey,
Cameron Bright,
Bill Duke,
Joseph Sommer,
Sorey Angdashloo,
Michael Murphy,
Ben Foster,
Vinnie Jones.
Is that it?
What is this, a SAG meeting?
That's it, and Vinnie Jones.
Vinnie Jones is in this.
Ben Foster, Michael Murphy.
Wow, I thought I knew this.
The great Arlie Ermey.
Well, if you thought you knew it, maybe you still know it,
or are you sure those people weren't in what you thought it was?
Two of them were not in that movie.
Oh, shit.
Well, then we're going to put Ben on the board.
I'm going to go with 2006.
Scary Movie 3?
No, it's X-Men, The Last Stand.
Really?
Yeah, really.
Ben Foster?
Who from Cheers is in that movie?
Oh, Kelsey Grammer!
I was on the Woody Harrelson tip.
I thought for sure it's Woody Harrelson.
He seems like the only one who's in movies.
He does those little cameos where he'll show up in a weed jacket and say a funny thing.
I was thinking Rhea Perlman.
Every one of those fuckers has been in movies.
And what's his name?
Cliff the Mailman is in every Pixar movie.
All the Pixar movies.
That's true.
I was sitting here thinking, how many of those Look Who's Talking movies do they make?
All right, Ben's on the board.
We've got a three-way tie.
Yeah, baby. Three-way tie. Yeah, baby.
Three-way tie plus Mike.
We'll start with Nicky and go to Ben.
I mean, go to Mike.
Then Ben, but in that direction.
Nicky gets to pick between Billy the Kid, that's movies with Billy Crystal,
a goat or both.
A goat or a what?
Or both.
Or both.
Or both, okay.
Yolo Virus, that's movies where an actor
who played James Bond dies.
So that's Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan,
you get it, one of those guys dies in another movie.
Or Penny Dreadful.
And that's Penny Marshall movies
that Leonard gave two stars or less.
Oh.
The first one.
Okay, Billy the Kid.
This movie's got kids.
It's either got Billy Crystal, a goat, or both.
And it's from...
The year is 1987.
Two and a half stars.
Leonard calls this movie
revisionist.
And he also says that it was based
on a novel.
And he lists
seven, twelve,
twelve people
in the cast of this film.
How many can you get in, Nikki?
You said 12 people?
I did, I think.
12.
I need them all.
Wait, there might be more.
13.
13.
She takes all the 13, Mike.
I mean...
I don't want to tell you what to do,
but 12 would be a pretty strong bid.
I think I could just guess it.
Really?
Then say zero names if you think you know the answer.
But I might be just flat out wrong.
What are the consequences of thatadov might be just flat out wrong. That could happen too.
What are the consequences of that?
There might be consequences, but...
Yeah, because Ben might challenge you,
and then if you lose, then Ben will win the game.
It's first person to two points.
That's true. That's a big deal.
Yeah.
Wait, what's riding on this?
You're going to get cash cab back if you win.
Can you give me the information?
Can you give me the information one more time, Doug?
Do what?
Can you give me the information, the clue one more time?
Sure.
I love this part.
Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 1987 that he calls Revisionist.
It's based on a novel.
And he lists, and people in the audience know what it is.
And he lists a lot
of names, and
zero.
You're saying zero names. I like that.
I like that.
So now you can go
negative one. Can you go negative, or do you
have to just ask him to name it? I'm not ready
to go negative, so I'm going to have to tell Mike to name it.
You can go negative for the win, though.
I could, yeah.
If he thought of you what it was. Settle down, Todd.
All the glory.
All the cookies. You seem to be thinking a lot about
you in the choices I'm making.
He's a smart player.
What's the name
of the movie, Mike?
Tombstone?
Oh, boy. Way wrong. what's the name of the movie Mike Tombstone oh boy way wrong
it's not Tombstone is from
1992
Ben is our winner
I so thought you had this
Todd thinks it's City Slickers
it's the Princess Bride
Princess Bride
yeah that's not revisionist It's the Princess Bride. Princess Bride.
Yeah.
That's not revisionist. That was based on a novel, you guys.
What was the category?
Billy Crystal.
Have fun storming the castle.
He's in it.
Is there a goat in there, too?
There is.
I think there's a goat outside the castle.
There's got to be a goat in the Princess Bride.
So, yeah, congratulations to Brian as our winner goat outside the castle. There's got to be a goat in the Princess Bride. So yeah, congratulations to Brian
as our winner of all the prizes.
Where you at, dude?
Come and get it.
Wait, we have more to add to it.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
What did you also have?
I have a Beyonce paper doll book.
Whoa.
I got it for my birthday, and I just don't need it.
Rick's got a girlfriend.
He's got a girlfriend.
That'll be good.
Wife, sorry.
My wife.
And everybody else.
Is there a shithead on the back of Mike's sword?
Yes.
Okay, cool.
So just pass everything down to me, and I will read those at the very end.
There's none on mine.
There's no shithead on the back of yours?
Nope.
Who are you playing for?
Where is that person?
Nick and Anna.
Yeah, where are you at, Nick and Anna?
Up there.
Way up in the balcony?
All right, just quietly say who you want me to call a shithead.
Yeah, look at that.
There's people.
Really quiet.
It's quiet, guys.
Alice and Janet?
Who? What?
Who?
Okay, I got it.
In Trenton, New Jersey?
Oh, what?
Wait, this thing's got a shithead on the back of it?
It's such small writing.
Oh, God, okay.
I can read that one.
I think I got it.
All right.
And where is it on this one?
This thing right here, this part?
All right.
I don't know if I want to get in trouble with them.
Oh, I don't know if I want to get in trouble with this guy either.
All right, I won.
But it says Shia LaBeouof on it.
Okay, yeah, I've got three now.
I got this.
Nikki, what would you like to plug before we go?
Oh, um,
I'll be at the Montreal Comedy Festival the 21st
through the 27th, like the whole time.
Something like that, yeah.
That's awesome. I'll be up there too. Maybe we can do some stuff together.
Would love it. Mike Verbiglia,
what's going on? You got a big tour. Go to
MikeVerbiglia.com.
Yeah, Verbigs.com.
Pretty much in the fall, I'm
in like 35 new cities. Pretty much
any city that you live in,
I'm probably going to perform in it.
I'd like to come open for you somewhere
if that's possible. I don't know if all the dates
are booked, but I've done that before
and I had a blast. Ben Bailey,
what do you got coming up? I'll be at the
Surflight Theater in Long Beach
Island, New Jersey. Anybody?
July 14th.
The Stress Factory, also in
Jersey, New Brunswick, in October.
That's about it, I think, right now.
All right.
So that's two cities.
That's close to 35.
Do they go to BillBailey.com?
What's that?
BillBailey.com?
Yeah, my father has a website.
For your tour dates.
It just automatically redirects people to my site.
It just says his name is Ben, you dicks.
That's what it says on the website, I'm saying.
Todd's working on more movies, Todd Sclaro,
but be sure to find, however you can, Awful Nice.
It sounds like it's awful cheap.
It is. 99 cents on iTunes.
I know it's awful fun, and you're really going to dig it.
Thank you to all you guys for being here.
Thank you.
Thank you to the Gramercy Theater.
The always great crowds here.
One more time, Mike Verbiglia, Nikki Glaser, Ben Bailey, and Todd Sklar.
And as always,
Allison and Trent are a shithead.
Golden Dawn, the Nazi Greek political party,
is a shithead.
And people who correct you with football when you say soccer is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.