Doug Loves Movies - Patton Oswalt, Paul F. Tompkins and Scott Aukerman guest

Episode Date: July 25, 2018

Back home at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Patton Oswalt, Paul F. Tompkins and Scott Aukerman to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at ht...tps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't sleep of Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Okay, that was pretty good, you guys. Good job, everybody.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Coming to you once again from the OG, the original gangster hideout for Doug Loves Movies, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, California! California! It's Tuesday, July 24th, 2018. And I want to know, how's your name tag game, LA?
Starting point is 00:01:11 Oh, it's pretty goddamn strong. I don't know what happened to you guys. Maybe it's because it's summer. We got Steve Nato, is a guy with a fucking shark head that is, it's a shark that looks like he desperately wants to speak but can't.
Starting point is 00:01:28 And so his head is constantly moving around like, oh, I wish I could talk right now. But I am Steve Nato. Beth to Smoochie. I like that very much. The cat in the hat. And cat is K-A-T,
Starting point is 00:01:43 short for Catherine. Kathleen. Good for Catherine. Kathleen. Good for you. Hey, Amera Kim Psycho. I've seen that one before. That's a returning one. Chasing Amy,
Starting point is 00:01:53 what? Amy DeVille Horror. Chasing Amy DeVille Horror? I'm Amy. And you're Amy. But you decided, I don't want to decide on Chasing Amy
Starting point is 00:02:02 or Amy DeVille Horror. I'm going to do both in the same poster. That's pretty fucking amazing. Yeah, it's Bill the title, you son of a bitch. Oh, is that like a three billboards outside Ebbing over there? It is. Holy shit, that's very far away.
Starting point is 00:02:20 I'm good at recognizing posters. What did you change it to? Brie billboards. Brie billboards. I like it, Brie. I also like your cheese. What is that big... Oh, Big Sid instead of Big Sick. I like that. Alright, we got lots of good ones to choose from. We've established that, so good luck to everybody.
Starting point is 00:02:40 And I'm going to do some plugs. Thursday night, I'm doing the Benson Interruption in Montreal, Canada as part of the Just for Laughs Festival. And Saturday, July 28th, I'm doing Douglas Movies there in the afternoon at the Hyatt Hotel in Montreal.
Starting point is 00:02:59 The following week I'm doing several shows at the Traverse City Film Festival. And on August 12th I'm doing several shows at the Traverse City Film Festival and on August 12th I'm doing Doug Loves Movies at the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta and just added I'm doing Doug Loves Movies at the Improv in Orlando on Saturday August 18th at 420
Starting point is 00:03:19 because I decided I wanted to go to Disney World at the hottest time of the year so that'll be on sale never, I mean never because I decided I wanted to go to Disney World at the hottest time of the year. So that'll be on sale never, I mean, never? That's on sale never, good luck. That's on sale now or soon is what I wrote, but in my writing, now or looks like never. On sale never.
Starting point is 00:03:44 For all of my upcoming dates that you cannot go to because they are not going on sale, go to douglasmovies.com. That's douglasmovies.com! Yeah! Oh my god, you guys. I don't know how I feel about the eagle noises.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Is that even a noise an eagle makes? I don't think so. I think eagles are just like, what's up? The prize bag tonight includes a Douglas Movies T-shirt and, oh, another shirt that says, oh, I just had a great time in Reno at the Reno Tahoe Comedy Club. So I'm giving away a shirt from there.
Starting point is 00:04:21 And, oh, I also had a really good time taking this from the hotel this is this is called edible Reno Tahoe and it's not a weed thing but it is all the great places to eat in in Reno and Tahoe that's my thing now is I just steal hotel room magazines I got all the bag that this is coming in, I got to do the Kevin and Bean show in San Diego. They were there. They're an L.A. radio show, of course,
Starting point is 00:04:53 but they were at Comic-Con, and so this bag says Kevin and Bean at Comic-Con, and there's some Kevin and Bean stickers and a Kevin and Bean lanyard in case you ever get something you want to hang around your neck and you want to shout out to them. And then a Peacemaker Christmassy bong. Down to three of those. Three of these.
Starting point is 00:05:16 I thought they would last all year, but I've been doing so many shows that they're almost all gone. But I'm going to give out a few more. And also, my guests, my three guests, brought stuff for the prize bag as well. So let's get them out here. And please give it up for Scott Aukerman, Patton Oswalt, and Paul F. Thompson. Thank you. Looks like none of them could make it. But I'm sure they are somewhere having a very nice time. And we will be happy to see them again on another occasion.
Starting point is 00:06:03 It's funny, too. Oh! Paul, did you murder the other guests? Well, Chuck, let's just say I want to win tonight. Oh, shit. Next time you murder someone, stick around to make sure they're dead, Tompkins. I really did just yell at these guys, you're murdered! And then I thought
Starting point is 00:06:47 it would stick. The force of your voice. Yeah, I was loud. Were we supposed to come out? We were all talking. You know how it works. We were all talking. It's typical. The green room is bad. You know, there's a door back there between here and there. We heard a giant ovation and thought,
Starting point is 00:07:03 that couldn't be for us. It's gotta be for Doug. He got off a good zinger. Yes, they applaud wildly for my opening comments. I'm going to be in Florida. Woo! Hey, could you put your shark head on the ground? Because there's people in the audience that can't see me.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Put your shark head on the ground. I appreciate you taking it off, because that would have been too much commitment for you to wear that thing the whole time. And your head moves less when it's not on. I like that, too. I didn't know what your problem was. It was a real shaky shark.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Sharks gotta move their heads all the time, right? They do. They gotta keep moving their head or they die. But he was a very agreeable shark. It was a lot of up and down. For the podcast listener, Doug was shaking his head from side to side, then up and down. For our wireless listeners at home. Thank you, Scott.
Starting point is 00:08:01 And yes. Patent. I've got nothing to add. Thank you, Scott. And, yes. And, yes. Patton. I've got nothing to add. Let's meet them individually, my three guests. And then together after that. And then together for the rest of the show. Scott Aukerman is here!
Starting point is 00:08:19 Hi, America! That's right. We're going alphabetical on these three It's the only logical way to do it You have three big names, you go alphabetical What's going on with the ring? Scott was noticing my wedding ring I'm married Sorry everyone Sorry Jamie Normally I'd say sorry ladies But now it's sorry everyone I'm married. Sorry, everyone. Sorry, Jamie.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Normally I'd say, sorry, ladies, but now it's sorry, everyone. Sorry, my wife. Okay, you guys. It doesn't count. My wife. My wife. When it's already a joke, you can't do it. Scott and I are more partial to the William Shatner, my wife. Yeah, how's that go?
Starting point is 00:09:06 My wife! It's from when she drowned. Oh, no. Wow, Scott, it's a good thing you can't be fired from anything right now. Ha ha! Wait a minute! Because those kind of comments get you fired! But what are you up to, Scott? What's going on? Mmm, baby.
Starting point is 00:09:28 I'm just doing my thing. Just fucking partying. Right. That's your thing. You like to party. You can hear a YouTube episode that we just put out where we interview Bono and The Edge. It just came out?
Starting point is 00:09:42 It just came out, yes. You interviewed all of them but one? Larry Mullins was busy? Larry was busy but did something very interesting which we talk about. Oh, okay. It's our trip to Madison Square Garden part two.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Can I spoil it? Larry Mullin wrote on the mirror and lipstick, Welcome to the wonderful world of AIDS. Oh, no. Larry Mullen wrote on the mirror and lipstick, welcome to the wonderful world of AIDS. Oh, no. Wow. Wow. No. You're going to get him fired from YouTube.
Starting point is 00:10:11 My God. That was an urban legend. From the beginning of AIDS. You know, when AIDS was hilarious. The golden age of AIDS. The golden AIDS. Oh, dear. Oh, Lord.
Starting point is 00:10:29 We're all never going to work again. We're already not. Oh, okay. It works out pretty good. That's good timing. Let's say hello to Patton Oswalt, everybody. What have you done? Watch me dig out of this hole.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Go ahead. Okay. Here we go. I was going to say, what's happened to you since Ratatouille? Since Ratatouille? Fill us in. Well, right now,
Starting point is 00:11:05 we just locked the script for Two Rat, Two Tooie. We're very excited. That's going to be really great. Vin Diesel is playing a wheel of Mimole cheese. So that's just got him, got a letter of interest from him. But that usually means he'll show up. God, what is going on with me? Nothing.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Nothing. I played Clue today. That's what I did. Literally played a game of Harry Potter Clue, which Harry Potter Clue is where they take the game of Clue and they make it so much more goddamn complicated than it needs to be. They involve money somehow and trap doors and all this bullshit.
Starting point is 00:11:41 It's like they've, it was horrifying. Now, obviously, this is for kids, so there's not a murder, right? One of the kids has been made to disappear, and you have to bring them back. So no, there's no murder in it. Who was the culprit
Starting point is 00:11:57 in this particular game? Well, the game we played today, it turned out it was Peter. Was it Mad-Eye Mustard? No, he's a good guy. Mad-Eye Mustard? No, he's a good guy. Mad-Eye Mustard. What the hell? I was so happy about that one,
Starting point is 00:12:10 and then couldn't fucking get it out. Welcome to the wonderful world of AIDS. I love how basically Doug rips with magnetic poetry tiles. Just... Today it was Peter Pettigrew using the vanishing cabinet in Defense Against the Dark Arts.
Starting point is 00:12:32 I mean, if somebody disappeared, I would go with the vanishing cabinet every single time. You can also use the port key that, why am I, oh my god, I'm defending Am I an instantly that why am I oh my god I'm defending am I am I am I an instantly
Starting point is 00:12:47 judgmental nerd for anything I'm talking about as you're actually the poppy seeds are not part of the lemon flavoring in the muffin
Starting point is 00:12:56 so it's not it's not oh my god that has to do with Harry Potter no I was using a Harry Potter's denied a job
Starting point is 00:13:06 because he thinks he has drugs in his system. Another urban myth, you millennials out there. That was actually early on J.K. Rowling. J.K.? Is that right?
Starting point is 00:13:18 J.K.? Very good. Just kidding, Rowling. The whole thing was a joke? Yeah. No, it's just keep Rowling. Just keep Rowling. Just keep Rowling, everybody. Just keep Rowling. Just keep Rowling? The whole thing was a joke? Yeah. No, it's Just Keep Rowling. Just Keep Rowling. Just Keep Rowling, guys.
Starting point is 00:13:29 But she originally was going to go with Harry Poppiseed, and then she landed on Potter eventually. Paul F. Tompkins is here! I wish I could introduce someone after every joke doesn't land. I didn't even wait to see if it was going to land. I was just like, let's just do this.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Change his name to Poppy Seed. Louis C.K. is here! Wait, what? Worried this joke isn't going to land. Who can I introduce to save the moment? I had questions for you guys. Oh, I asked Scott his already. Wait, the question you wrote down for Scott is what's going on?
Starting point is 00:14:22 What's going on, friend? I forgot to say friend when I did it. What's going on, friend? I forgot to say friend when I did it. What's going on, friend? Wow, what a deep Wikipedia dive that must have been to get that question. I know everything he's already done, but what's going on, friend?
Starting point is 00:14:40 Also, Scott loves to just put his microphone down. I'll sit out for a little bit. Don't overload the grid. You know something good's coming when Scott picks up his microphone. Remember Match Game when we have to fight for microphones? Oh, that's right. We had to share them, and we'd do it here, and we'd have to pass them around, and it would get ugly.
Starting point is 00:15:01 Also, on my 12 Guests of Christmas shows, I make everybody share microphones. It's true. Yeah, great story. So... Ladies and gentlemen, whoopee Goldberg! I don't know what Scott Hockerman's up to, but I know that Paul Tompkins
Starting point is 00:15:16 has a new podcast called Threedom, and he's terrific on it. I forget who the other people are involved with that. Thank you. Yeah, that's Paul and Scott and Lauren Lapkus. That's right. Yeah, and you guys just sit around and talk about
Starting point is 00:15:32 liberty. Oh, pop music. Oh, I get it. Talk about but liberty. You talk about being free. Is that what the premise is? Freedom isn't three. Freedom? All right. You've intrigued me.
Starting point is 00:15:50 I'm interested that you're telling me nothing about this podcast. It's your premise. I think you may have intrigued yourself with this one. Okay. But what happens on it? We just sit around as ourselves. We're not doing characters. And we have interesting conversations. We're just John. We're just John. We're not doing characters. And we have interesting conversations.
Starting point is 00:16:05 We're just John. We're just John. You guys are doing characters tonight? Yep. I'm so delighted by maybe the most generic podcast question I've ever heard. What happens on it? Yeah. What do you do there?
Starting point is 00:16:24 Is it fun? It's like the guy waiting on you at the tire store. You have a podcast? What happens on it? No, we're getting your radials right now. What happens on your computer thing? Is this a comedy podcast? No.
Starting point is 00:16:38 No? It's a serious chat with the three of you? It's a deep dive into global issues. Thank you. I've time for two more. Stretch. Okay, here's what I wrote down to say to Patton. Damn, it's been forever. Wow. Nice question, Sophie Hawkins.
Starting point is 00:17:07 You know, when you have people like you guys on, I could just say a sentence and you'll jump in. You'll come in with something funny. Oh, that killed a lot of comedies in the 80s. Just let him go crazy. It'll be great. Don't worry about it. Caddyshack 2.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Yeah, let him try on a bunch of hats. It'll be great. Try on hats in front of a mirror. Play brown-eyed girl. Scene will be gold. Isn't that like Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy? Isn't that weird? That's supposed to be a scary movie, but that scene is in it.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Out of nowhere. They should have done a fun montage of her lining up all the cans in the cupboard the right way. Oh, there you go. When she opens the cupboards and the cans are rearranged or whatever the fuck, like, Scott's upset that I'm doing a spoiler. I've never seen it. Oh. Do you tend to see it?
Starting point is 00:17:59 Is it on your list? Is it in your queue? Who's in it? Julia Roberts? Who does she sleep with? Pat will probably know this. Who directed it? Because the guy who directed it did some interesting movies.
Starting point is 00:18:16 It's not terrible. I know that my favorite scene is where they show it's not terrible. They show that she's liberated because when she escapes her abusive boyfriend, she then purposely jumbles up the cans because he's like this weird... Remember back there was a time
Starting point is 00:18:33 when OCD meant you're a serial killer? Like if your apartment was neat, it means, oh, he's a murderer. I think it still does. Oh, okay. But she rearranges the can. Sad news. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:42 but she like rearranges the soup can. Sad news. Yeah, yeah. Alright, I have one or two questions for each of you. Oh, I can't wait to hear these jokes.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Hey, Paul. Is one of the what else is going on? How about that weather? Do you guys keep up with the news? No, my next my first question is what did you guys keep up with the news? No, my next, my first question is
Starting point is 00:19:07 what'd you guys bring for the prize bag? Let's start with Patton. What do you got? I brought my four albums that are on vinyl and I signed them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Doug, I'll go next. Pass them down. Oh, you're worried that Scott's gonna be better than yours? No, I think Scott's is the closer. Okay. I brought a lapel pin for my podcast Spontaneanation.
Starting point is 00:19:33 It fell out of the... And I put it in an old box that I had. But look at the fancy presentation. It's like you're proposing to the audience. That's right. Paul would like to... Will you be my podcast listener? Listen to his Spontanean Nation.
Starting point is 00:19:51 And that's a lovely little box. Scott. Don't take that out of context, guys. Bill Cosby is here! Hello! I have given to me by, I believe by Ryan, your producer Ryan, in 2010,
Starting point is 00:20:21 Greg Proops' album Proops Digs In. Yeah. Still in its shrink wrap. Has been sitting in my car for eight years and has not been stolen despite two break-ins. Features
Starting point is 00:20:39 four bits. It's an EP. Aged to perfection. Proops. Proops digs in. We love Greg Proops. Proops digs in. He's a guest on the show.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Good marbling on that cover. Nice aging. So somebody's going to win all of that. Win is a loose word for what's going to happen. But someone will be carrying this stuff around for the rest of the evening and maybe into their lives. There are trash cans on either corner.
Starting point is 00:21:12 That's true. It breaks my heart when I see a name tag in the trash can. You guys, just take them home and throw them out there. That's the reason to hurt me. Wait, they're the ones that make the name tags. I know, so they can throw it away whenever they want. But it's just weird to see they just gave up. Like, I'm never going to go to that show again.
Starting point is 00:21:35 This name tag didn't get chosen. Is it because a lot of them have your face on them? Yeah, I mean, look at that right there. The American Psycho's got my face in it, and I don't want to see that in the garbage. I remember that regeneration of Doug Benson. But I would definitely reach into the garbage and get those Reese's Cups off of there.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Right? Yeah, she throws the whole thing away. Paul Tompkins. Yes, Doug Ensign. Tompkins, I like that. What was the last movie you saw? Oh, well, I saw a little movie called I Love You, Daddy. What?
Starting point is 00:22:19 That's the Louis C.K. thing? How did you see it? How did you see it? There was someone I knew who knew someone who had a screener of it. I think it was the one screener that went out. And then somebody checked Twitter. They're like, get those screeners back in here right now. It's not good.
Starting point is 00:22:40 It's not a good movie. It's not good. Gee, kick a guy when he's down. Well, Scott, I wanted to like it, but no dice. Not good. You put the CK in here. Wait a minute, Andrew Dice Clay wasn't in it?
Starting point is 00:22:53 Sorry. Ladies and gentlemen, Woody Allen. God damn it. Fucking saved my pole in the ripcord of that myself. I also started re-watching The Staircase on Netflix. Oh. I watched it when it
Starting point is 00:23:10 first came out. Okay. And then in that movie he talks about how he and his wife that he was about to murder had just watched America's Sweetheart
Starting point is 00:23:21 starring Julia Roberts. Oh. Which that's a real shame that that's the last movie you see on Earth before you die. But then also, he kept calling it Blockbusters to the point where I realized
Starting point is 00:23:35 that should have been the name. It should have been called Blockbusters and not Blockbusters Singular. Oh, okay. It's a video store. They have more than one movie there. It should have been called Blockbusters. Yeah. With an apostrophe It's a video store. They have more than one movie there. It should have been called Blockbusters.
Starting point is 00:23:48 With an apostrophe? No, just plural. Blockbusters. I think that people filled that in by themselves all over the world. That's a beautiful sentiment. In my callow youth, I used to laugh at people who said Blockbusters. But now I realize they were right.
Starting point is 00:24:06 And I was wrong. Well, then should we call it like Burgers King? Because they have more than one. Yes. Would that work? Absolutely. Whoppers Jr. Yeah, Whoppers Jr.
Starting point is 00:24:18 No, wait a minute. No. That's not the... We should call it Hardee's Tacos Bell We have more than one taco here Tacos Bell Or Tacos Bells
Starting point is 00:24:33 There's just the one bell Okay there's one bell Unless Richard Belzer's in line Munch That's what you do at Taco Bell Oh I thought you were doing The theme from Munch. Munch!
Starting point is 00:24:50 He's in everything we do. Even the X-Files. I order from the Munch menu at Taco Bell. It's all things Richard Belzer recommends. I love it. Patty Arbuckle is here. Wow.
Starting point is 00:25:15 What was the last movie you saw, Scott? I think it was Ant-Man and the Wasp. Did you like that? I liked it, yes. Yeah? Yeah, I did.
Starting point is 00:25:24 You had a good time? He was big, he was small. Who won, Ant-Man or the Wasp? It's not versus. Huh? Ant-Man V, the Wasp. Ant-Man V, Wachowski. I thought they were fighting for custody of their child.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Now I'm thinking of a different film. Yeah, you're thinking of Kramer versus Kramer. Who versus what? Same name both times. What about Ant-Man versus Kramer? Kramer from Seinfeld.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Ant-Man does not like racist humor. Michael Richards is here! We got there. We got there. Patton, what'd you see? Eighth Grade. Bo Burnham's movie.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Pretty amazing, right? It's fantastic. How did a man make that? It was so well done. About a 13-year-old girl. It's so in touch with the whole world. And found an actor that you've got to hang a movie on like a chair. It was the same thing as when I saw, I remember seeing the Florida Project.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Your whole movie's got to hang on like basically a first-time actor. And to take that risk, it was so well done. It's good. It was really amazing. I can't wait to see it. And I also saw the Teen Titans movie, which is hilarious. Does he say fuck Batman in it?
Starting point is 00:26:51 No, you know what? No. Missed opportunity. That's the one I want my daughter to see. Fuck Batman. Fuck Batman. Fuck Batman. Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:27:01 What's the intention? Is he saying, is he saying like Fuck Batman I don't like Batman Or is he like saying Batman check this out Fuck Batman He's saying
Starting point is 00:27:13 He's saying it about Batman's ass You look terrific Or it's a Disappointment Fuck Batman Fuck Batman Fuck Batman
Starting point is 00:27:24 Do you think Batman would obviously he's not going to register how he feels about somebody being disappointed in him in the moment
Starting point is 00:27:32 but do you think later when he's alone do you think he will have a moment where he's like I let that guy down yeah and I think that
Starting point is 00:27:40 especially when Christian Bale plays him he would still say that to himself with Batman voice yeah I let that guy down Christian Bale plays him he would still say that to himself with Batman voice yeah I let that guy down when he's all alone
Starting point is 00:27:49 I wish there was a scene in The Dark Knight Rises where Catwoman goes you can I know who you are now like we've established that I know you're you don't need to use
Starting point is 00:27:58 the fucking voice with me he keeps using that voice with her long after they reveal who they are to each other yeah and when she no what are you doing, and when she...
Starting point is 00:28:05 No, what are you doing, Bruce? And when she vanishes on him, he goes, so that's what that feels like. And he's alone. To no one. It's hard to go in and out, I guess. Sometimes you gotta stay in character
Starting point is 00:28:17 for a whole day. I wish there had been like a scene the next day where he's out of the costume and he's in his secret identity. So he's introduced to her and he's out of the costume and he's in his secret identity. So he's introduced. Who? Hi, Bruce Wayne.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Oh, were you at a loud party? Was that happening? Yeah, I was in a club. I'm a playboy or whatever. Right, yeah, you're rich and you go out to clubs. Yeah, so we were like... Lose your voice. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Spoiler, Paul. They throw the bat single out, but he shows up. Okay, guys, I'm here. I've changed my name to Horseman. Oh, Horseman! Harvey Weinstein is here! He's not even comedians anymore.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Well, you know, we have a lot of people from... Joseph Mengele is here! Oh, man. Mark David Chapman, straight out of prison, is here. Is he released?
Starting point is 00:29:15 He's about to, or he has a chance to be. I know. It's a fun topic. But Yoko Ono sends a letter every year, and it goes like this Her music was kind of annoying
Starting point is 00:29:33 That was a joke there One song It was only the one song Come on One song that everyone Talks about is the one Where she like imitates a dolphin But the rest of it is good
Starting point is 00:29:41 Now people love impressions She's ahead of her time The rest of it is good. Now people love impressions. She's ahead of her time. Alright, now that my questions have been answered. What a weird troll. Yeah. What's the last movie you saw and what did you bring for the bag? That's all I want to know from each of you Before saying Let the games begin
Starting point is 00:30:10 We got lots of name tags So gentlemen Choose carefully Oh there's a guy from North Virginia Patent so feel sorry for him And pick somebody else's name tag. We'll be right back. Hey, like I said
Starting point is 00:30:30 earlier, be sure to check me out at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal and the Traverse City Film Festival in Traverse City, Michigan over the next two weeks.
Starting point is 00:30:45 But to be more specific, in Montreal, you can catch me on a free panel hosted by Ron Bennington. You have to go to his website, the Interrobang, to sign up for tickets. But that's at 5 o'clock on Thursday, July 26th at the Hyatt. Then later that night, you can purchase tickets to see the Benson Interruption at 9.30 at PDA Cienza. Hope I pronounced that right. And then Saturday, July 28th at 4.20, we're doing Doug Loves Movies in the Hyatt Hotel ballroom, I believe it is.
Starting point is 00:31:34 And then in Traverse City on Wednesday, August 1st, I'm doing Doug Loves Movies at the Old Town Playhouse with two of your favorite guests and then a wild card, Walt the Owner Tuchel. And then on Friday night, August 3rd at midnight at the State Theater, I'm doing a Benson movie interruption of the classic Twister. And then there's a comedy panel on Saturday. So many fun ways to see me in Montreal and Traverse City. I hope you guys make it out to those. And I hope you go to DouglasMovies.com if you live somewhere else. And that way you can figure out if I'm coming to your town.
Starting point is 00:32:13 And never be afraid to reach out to me on social media and say, hey, why don't you come to this town? I just did Reno the other day after lots of people asked me to and had a wonderful time. Back to the show. All right, we're back. Who are you playing on behalf of, Pat and Oswalt? I'm playing on behalf of the amazing, colossal Max. Is there a name on the back here? No, that's a shithead on the back.
Starting point is 00:32:41 We'll read that if you lose tonight. Oh, okay, got it. Yeah, who knows? I don't know who's going to win tonight. This is a tight matchup. Oh. And Paul's name tag has Reese's all over it. What's the way we're supposed
Starting point is 00:32:53 to eat these? There's one correct way to eat them. Oh, okay. Wait, there is? Yep. How's it go? What do you do? I already did it. You missed it, son. He did already eat his. Who are you playing for, Scott? Steve or something.
Starting point is 00:33:19 It's Steve Nato and you dropped his shark head on the ground. Yeah, what? I'm going to carry that thing the whole time? You're going to hold it? I picked the shark guy because that's so much work. And I feel like none of us were going to pick him because it's so much work. He literally wrote his name on a piece of cardboard
Starting point is 00:33:34 and put a puppet head on. Yeah, I'm not putting my head in there. No offense, Steve. Oh, you also have a hat on. Did you have that hat on inside this thing? You brought a spare hat? Or a spare shark? Spare shark head?
Starting point is 00:33:57 Two minutes later! Spare shark head. That's a disorder I have. Ladies and gentlemen, a shitty comedian. Victoria Jackson is here. Marikim Psychos, who... I'm playing for Marikim Psychos. Stay away from me!
Starting point is 00:34:20 And look, there's Doug's face. Wait, is that the American Psycho song? Yeah, that's that American Psycho song. It plays over the end credits, right? And then look, there's Kim. American Psycho song. Kim's in the knife there. Oh, that is pretty.
Starting point is 00:34:34 It's very cute. She's got a big old smile on her face. Yeah. She's about to be murdered. She wants to be murdered. She's about to be the instrument of murder. She lives in the knife. That's a haunted knife? Yeah. She's about to be the instrument of murder. She lives in the knife.
Starting point is 00:34:46 That's a haunted knife? Yeah. Who was that answering that question? A little guy. All right. I'm going to open up my Reese's and then we're going to play... Don't you love when people call it Reese's? Isn't that fun?
Starting point is 00:35:06 I grew up saying that. I can't not do it. Reese's Pieces. It's an affliction. All right. This first game we're going to play is called Purple Rain Man. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Yeah. It's intense. It's a mash mashup title game. Of course, the stars of Purple Rain Man would be Prince and Tom Cruise. Purple Rain Man. It's that simple. I'm going to start reading
Starting point is 00:35:35 the third billed names in a movie mashup title. You guys guess as often as you like. Wait, wait, wait. Until we get to number one. Which part are we guessing? What the title is. Wait, wait, wait. We'll get to number one. Which part are we guessing? What the title is. The movie mashup title.
Starting point is 00:35:47 So like, if I said Prince and Tom Cruise, the answer would be Purple Rain Man. Movie mashup title. Movie mashup title. What do we do? Scott, sit this one out.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Just hang back. Put your mic down. That was a drop the mic and pick it right back up. What title is this movie mashup with these third build actors? Anne Hathaway and Emily Robinson.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Who are they? Yeah. Can we ask who people are sometimes? You can when it comes to one of those two names. I think one of them is well known. One of them I know pretty well. Who's the other one? Emily Robinson.
Starting point is 00:36:40 And she's third build in a motion picture that you will find out the title of shortly. Oh, that cleared it up. Dang. Thank you. You're welcome. Second build, Cate Blanchett and Josh Hamilton. Do we know who's with who? Who's zooming who?
Starting point is 00:37:00 Even? The first name is from the first half of the title, which is the title of the movie they were in. The second name is the second half of the title. Who are the names? Every time. Who are the names? Cate Blanchett and Win a Date with Josh Hamilton. That was Tad Hamilton.
Starting point is 00:37:21 This is Josh Hamilton. So after he went on the date, he changed his name. This is Josh Hamilton. So, after he went on the date, he changed his name? Doesn't a woman usually do that? He murdered his date and went into witness relocation, but was stupid enough to only change his first name. That's actually pretty shrewd
Starting point is 00:37:40 if you think about it. It is? Hide in plain sight? Yeah, it's brilliant. No, we're looking for a guy with two different names. pretty shrewd if you think about it. It is. Hide in plain sight. Yeah. Yeah, it's brilliant. No, we're looking for a guy with two different names. Wait.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Ocean's Eight Men Out. Ooh, no. Ocean's Eight... Oh, is there any order to how we can guess or no? Guess as often as you like. Ocean's Eight-Legged Freaks. Oh, I like that too. The we can guess or no? Guess as often as you like. Ocean's eight-legged freaks. Oh, I like that too.
Starting point is 00:38:08 The top-billed people in this movie are Sandra Bullock. Ocean's eight mile. And Elsie Fisher. Who? Ocean's eight millimeter. Ocean's. Do it, Patton. Ocean's can 8.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Both films are theoretically in theaters now. Ocean's can 8th grade. Ocean's 8th grade? What? Ocean's 8. Oh, my God. I put chance back into it. Did I steal that one from you?
Starting point is 00:38:53 Ocean's can Kramer. Scott Aukerman wins that game. Congratulations, Scott. Oh, what do I win? Like a thief in the night. You get to go first in the next game. Yeah, you've won literally nothing. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:39:12 But the opportunity for even more nothing. Yeah, if you win this next game, you get to go first in the last game. And this game, you guys can handle it, I think. It's expert level only. We're going to play Build a Title. Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:33 I like it. I'll give you a title. Scott will start us off with adding something to it, just another movie title that works into it, much like Purple Rain Man. And then we'll go to Paul, and then we title that works into it. And much like Purple Rain Man. And then we'll go to Paul and then we'll go to Patton. And we're starting. The starter
Starting point is 00:39:52 title is... Don't you have to ask us first. Like, we've never met before. You're not familiar with what I've written down on this piece of paper. No. Okay, let's be clear about that, everybody. These three guests all have no idea what's about to happen. Except for that I did try to explain the game, so hopefully they sort of understand what's about to happen.
Starting point is 00:40:18 But beyond that, we have no idea what's coming. Yeah. The title, Scott Aukerman, is Skyscraper. Someone's clapping over there either because they like that movie or tall buildings. Sci... Sci... Sci... Skyscraper.
Starting point is 00:40:37 So something ends in sky or begins with a scraper. Skyscraper Majesty's Secret Service. Oh, that would work if the word on wasn't at the beginning of that one. It is. No, I mean... Scrape. Purr. You could use the purr part. You could use the er part. The a-purr part. A. Purr. You could use the purr part.
Starting point is 00:41:05 You could use the urr part. The a-purr part. I wouldn't use raper. Because it probably wouldn't work. Purr. But also a movie that ends in sky? Oh, you can go the other way? Oh, I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Well, anyway. So, can you ask me what's up, friend, again? The, the, some desert sky. Oh, no. Sky, sky, sky. All I can think of is sky captain in the world of tomorrow. Sky captain in the world of tomorrow? Scraper.
Starting point is 00:41:50 Sky. Excuse me while I kiss. Sky. All right, all right. You'll do better in the next game, Paul. Has this ever happened before? It does. The first one?
Starting point is 00:42:03 It can be hard. I don't think this one is, but... Skyscray Perfect. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Skyscray Perfect. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:15 So now Pat needs something that ends in sky or begins with fecht. Or ct. Echt. Fechenstein. No. What was that movie? Sever versus X. Vanilla Sky Scrape Perfect.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Yes, Vanilla Sky, Scott. The one movie that has sky in it. You're right. How could I be so stupid? Well, I mean, it's not the right time of year, but October Sky. What's the right time of year for October Sky? You know, mid-September. You getting ready for it?
Starting point is 00:42:51 Yeah, exactly. Kids are back in school. You gotta prep. All right. They're getting their October Sky costumes ready. This is gonna be really tough for you, I think, Paul. Because now you have to come up with something that ends with vanilla.
Starting point is 00:43:05 Or... I think I butt. Because now you have to come up with something that ends with vanilla. Or, I think I pocket-dialed something. Let's check out what it is. Oh, it's Esther Koo's Periscope. Weird. I love the cross promotion. It's great.
Starting point is 00:43:23 Very nice. Yeah, you guys, turn it on right now if you want to check that out. That's synergy, my friend. All right, so we got Vanilla Skyscraperfect. So I don't know what to do with that. But Paul, do you have a...
Starting point is 00:43:40 I mean, I'm going to take a guess, Doug. A guess? And I'm going to say... Oh, I. A guess? And I'm going to say... Oh, I just thought of one. There's got to be a movie. Vanilla Sky Scraperfection. Perfection? There's got to be a movie called Perfection.
Starting point is 00:44:02 There's got to be. Patton? Is there any judge? Does someone judge? I sort of do. I'm sort of in charge. But that seems like there's gotta be a movie called that.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Or that's, or you know, Perfect was just short for Perfection. So, but Sean is an interesting beginning of a title. You looking it up? People have managed to make something happen there. A mother obsessed with plastic surgery and a daughter who likes to cut herself.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Find love that is more than skin deep. It's perfection. It makes sense when you think about it. Didn't they make a movie out of the board game though? They're doing that now. It was a game perfection. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:53 I mean you know that's coming. Did that have the popping dice in the middle of perfection? No it was you put the shapes and the holes with the timer.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Were you thinking of the pop-o-matic dice? That's trouble. Yes I love pop-o-matic. That's trouble. Ian McKellen is Gnip. Judy Dench is Gnop. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Do you have anything, Patton? Anything to add? Oh, jeez. Hang on. Vanilla skyscraper perfection. Yeah. There's always vanilla skyscraperfection. Yeah. There's always vanilla skyscraperfection.
Starting point is 00:45:28 There's always vanilla is George Romero's second movie. Thank you. There's always vanilla? Yeah. Gotta be fucking kidding me. I'm not gonna look it up. No. I'm not gonna look it up. It's fun when my guests trick me. It's always when my guests trick me. It's always Vanilla's.
Starting point is 00:45:48 Oh, is that an element of the game? If we make up a title but we really sell it? Yeah, like Perfection was one. He snuck that through. But then he changed reality with his conviction. It became a Lifetime movie. Perfection conviction.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Someone in the Lifetime Film Vault is like, Jesus, this thing's on the shelf all of a sudden. We got to update Lisa Welchel's IMDb. Paul, there's always vanilla skyscraper-fection. Is there a movie that ends with the word there? Hey, what's going on over there? In theaters now.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Couldn't it also end in comma the? Like fan comma the? Anything, Paul? Doug, give me one second. Give me one second, Doug. Okay, let's count it off, everybody. One.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Oh, my God. I just, okay. I just thought of something, and it's weird how it's come around full circle. Okay. What do you think it is? I think... I don't have one to be honest with you
Starting point is 00:47:28 I've been looking at it and I can't add anything to it this might have been a quick one which isn't bad because we're UCB's running on time tonight so we all are Doug
Starting point is 00:47:42 wow sorry everyone ladies and gentlemen introducing somebody patten oswald is here oh really yeah fair enough i want to say it'll help over there but i which but i don't know for sure oh over there sounds like a title. Sure. I feel like it's got to be. Yeah, I'm going to accept that. Over There. I thought of several song titles that would work.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Cut to the Lifetime Film Vault. Shit! Again! The fuck is happening tonight? I feel like Over There would be like about sailors, like a musical about sailors. Or World War I Dubois. During the last days of the Great War,
Starting point is 00:48:25 a group of U.S. soldiers are sent behind enemy lines to rescue a lost platoon trapped behind enemy lines. Oh, my God, and it came out this year? This year, 2018. Oh, that's why it's familiar. Wait a minute. Of course. I wonder if this is one of those asylum things
Starting point is 00:48:45 where they were trying to piggyback on the fucking... What was the big one that Christopher Nolan made? Dunkirk. Yeah, Dunkirk. I bet... Oh, I wonder what that is. Dunkirk. Can I have my phone back?
Starting point is 00:48:57 No, hang on. Ooh, that's... No, hang on. I'm playing my game. Okay, Pat, you need something that ends in over or begins in infection. Over there's always vanilla skyscraperfection. Her Majesty's Secret Service. I don't like it, but I'm gonna accept it.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Alright, do you know one, Paul, that begins with service? Or ice. Oh. Oh. Or vice. Oh. And you can drop the the. Or service. You can drop the the if there's a the in the title.
Starting point is 00:49:45 You can just get rid of it. Ditch it. Over there's always vanilla sky. Scrape her fection. Her majesty's secret. Service castles. No. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:50:08 We got a... We got... Looks like Paul is going to challenge this audience member to some sort of... Take off your white glove, Paul. Take off your white glove. Now who the fuck do you think... glove now who the fuck
Starting point is 00:50:24 do you think you're gonna allow the upper majesty secret servant but you're not gonna allow vice cast Mr. Tompkins is screaming an audience member doesn't like
Starting point is 00:50:39 doesn't like hearing no from the audience member no no Yeah. It wasn't like hearing no from the audience member. No. No. I mean, he's right, but... He's no righter than you are wrong, Doug. Oh, whoa.
Starting point is 00:50:59 But yeah, you don't pronounce it... Shun her majesty's secret service. Hey, let's go see... Iskastles. Do you want to see On Her Majesty's Secret Service? No, but that one was, you know... It was what? It was the first one to cheat. It was a stretch you enjoyed
Starting point is 00:51:18 as opposed to a stretch that this guy said no to? That guy influenced my decision. Don't be a coward, Doug. It's unbecoming. All right, Pat, you need one that ends it over or begins with assholes. Or, let me help you out, or acels. Or, let me help you out.
Starting point is 00:51:44 Or Aisles. Could it be Ice Asclays Miserable? Over the... I was gonna fucking do that, god damn it. I was literally gonna do that. I was gonna say, over there's always vanilla, sky, scrape perfection, honor, majesty, secret,
Starting point is 00:52:05 serve, ice, castle, miserable. Castles. Castles. Castles. All right, I have to accept it. All right. Paul,
Starting point is 00:52:22 over there's always vanilla skyscraper. Fection, her majesty's secret serve ice. Cas, le mislerab, le mislerab. Yeah. I knew you were going to do that. It had to be done. It had to be done. It had to be done. But now what is Patton going to do?
Starting point is 00:52:55 Oh, my God. Now it's a game of who lives longest. Deep Cover There is always vanilla Skyscraperfect John Her Majesty's Secret Serve Ice Castles Les Marisables I love that movie
Starting point is 00:53:24 Deep Cover. It's really good. It's the sequel to Deep Kimson. Ladies and gentlemen. Paul, do you got something that ends in deep? Or deep. Yo mama. Paul, do you got something that ends in deep? Or D.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Yo mama. And the... This just in, Patton's been fired from Ratatouille 2T2ET. Scott's telling him an answer. I feel like there's gotta be... The deep wouldn't count. No, I know. Okay. Because you're not changing or adding in.
Starting point is 00:54:24 So did you think I was going to say, I feel like there's got to be the deep? No, I didn't think you were going to say that. I feel like there's got to be a movie called Into Deep. Oh. Scott? Scott? Over there
Starting point is 00:54:45 is always Vanilla Sky. Scrape her. Fetch Sean her. Majesty's secret. Serve ice. Cast lay. Mislorab. Le Mislorab.
Starting point is 00:54:59 Drug lord Dwayne Gittmuth rules Cincinnati with an iron fist. No wonder he's known as God on the streets. Drug lord Dwayne Gittins rules Cincinnati with an iron fist. Cincinnati? No wonder he's known as God on the streets. Determined to break Gittins' stranglehold on the city is undercover cop Jeffrey Cole. Jeffrey Cole? Supporting him in a difficult task ahead is his girlfriend. No name.
Starting point is 00:55:21 And his tough-as-nails commander. But as Cole takes on an assumed identity to penetrate Gittin's criminal empire, he makes a disturbing discovery. He kind of likes being a gangster. Uh-oh. He's in too deep. He is in too deep.
Starting point is 00:55:40 That guy's in too deep. He's in too deep. That happens. All right, Patton, you need something that ends in in or begins with miserables. Tin, tin too deep. Cover. There. It's always vanilla skyscraper.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Perfection or majesty's secret service. Castle a miserable miserable. The adventures of tin. The Adventures of Tintin. The Adventures of Tintin. So now Paul needs something that ends in adventures. An awfully big adventures of Tintin. Too deep. What was it again?
Starting point is 00:56:21 Nobody cares. Patton. What? We just have to end this game. Do you have anything to add? Yeah. Rodan awfully big adventure. Oh.
Starting point is 00:56:32 Okay, Paul. Somebody ends in ro. Oh, I know one. The edge of tomorrow. Rod, I know one. The edge of tomorrow. Awfully big adventure of Tintin. All right, Patton, I'm going to just say it for you.
Starting point is 00:56:56 River's edge, Paul. Yep. Thank you. I was going to say River's edge. Of course. Perfect. I was going to say River's End of course perfect yeah something about a river
Starting point is 00:57:16 there's gotta be a movie there was Mel Gibson's The River you're fucked there again that's true that's true oh Twisted River.
Starting point is 00:57:26 Really? Yeah. Scott, what the fuck are you laughing at? Paul, do you mean last night in Twisted River? Of course I do. Well, that's a book, not a film. Oh, no. All right, Patton wins that one.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Congratulations, Patton. All right, now we're in a... You guys were so good at that game. That could not be a more disputable win, by the way. All right, now we're in a... You guys were so good at that game. That could not be a more disputable win, by the way. There could not be more dispute to that fucking thing. The whole game shouldn't have happened. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Truly a mockery to God and all things good. It was Doug's fault. It was a mockery. It was my fault. It's Skyscraper's fault. That movie's not doing as well as people thought in the cinemas or in games. So this is...
Starting point is 00:58:30 Turns out The Rock can't open a game. Other than Rock, Paper, Scissors. That's true. Judy Tanuta's here! Wait, what did she do? That was his original wrestling name, The Rock Favors his name. He'd get defeated
Starting point is 00:58:50 two out of three matches. All right. We're going to play Last Man Stanton to decide our winner tonight. Yeah. Patton gets to go first and then we'll switch up the order here,
Starting point is 00:59:06 and we'll go to Scott, and then Paul, and then me. Doug, I'm a casual listener at best. What are the rules? Doug, long-time caller. You're a casual guest at best. Long-time caller, first-time listener. How do we do this I think I was
Starting point is 00:59:29 about to explain it but we're gonna get a name from the audience of an actor or actress take turns naming movies that person was in can't think of one
Starting point is 00:59:37 you're out and normally we have lifelines but I'm not gonna mess with those now because we're we're exactly on time to end right now oh my god
Starting point is 00:59:44 yeah but you know apologies to whatever's happening after us I'm not going to mess with those now because we're exactly on time to end right now. Oh, God. Yeah. But, you know, apologies to whatever's happening after us. Where is Bilbao underscore Baggins? That's you right there. Hi. Oh, hi. What's your actual name? Do you mind giving it out?
Starting point is 00:59:59 Kim. Kim. That's American Psycho. It's fucking American Psycho. Oh, American Psycho. This happens sometimes. She gets to make a suggestion now to determine what actor or actress we're going to play in this
Starting point is 01:00:10 game. And I usually play along, but I'm going to sit this one out because we've got to end it. We've got to end it. All the best game show hosts just bring that up before the lighting around. Listen, we've got to end this. Somebody's got gotta fucking win.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Normally I play, but I don't feel like it. I don't feel like it. I know all the answers. What if Alex Trebek before every final Jeopardy was like, normally I like to jump in here, but I'm not going to tonight. He should. He should just get the same thing that Contessa's getting. He should have to write something down.
Starting point is 01:00:42 He wheels out a little podium. Yeah. He has to wheel it out himself. Well, for dramatic effect. It's like, oh, one second, I forgot something. Stuck to me. All right, so Bill Balbagans,
Starting point is 01:00:58 a.k.a. American Psy-Kim. What have you got? Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp. John Depp. The great Disney film actor who continues to work just because he doesn't have a Twitter account, apparently.
Starting point is 01:01:18 If you're horrible, as long as you kind of keep it to yourself. The hotels will have to clean up after you leave the room. Does he still do that? Does he still trash hotels? Who cares?
Starting point is 01:01:33 Oh, we have a confirmation from the audience. Yes. She's a housekeeper. Yeah, hotel itself. Yes. What a weird thing for an adult to do. Go trash your own house. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:47 Stop trashing things. Stop it. Patton, any film with Johnny Depp in it, you have three seconds. Oh, Edward Scissorhands. All right, I'm going to give you a couple more seconds. I don't like that movie. Oh, okay. Ed Wood.
Starting point is 01:02:02 No, that was a good one. Oh, shit. I thought you were serious. Oh, wait. You should make a movie. Oh, okay. Ed Wood. No, that was a good... Oh, shit. I thought you were serious. Oh, wait. You should make a movie Ed versus Ed. Bill and Ted word scissor hands.
Starting point is 01:02:16 Scott, any Johnny Depp movie except for the two that have been mentioned. Yeah. Wait, what are the two? Edward Scissorhands and Edward Wood. Oh, yeah are the two? Edward Scissorhands and Edward Wood.
Starting point is 01:02:26 Oh, yeah. Pirates of the Caribbean. Full title, please. The There's nothing else to that? There's not a colon in more words? Curse of the Black Pearl. There, yeah. Feels good when you're right, doesn't it?
Starting point is 01:02:57 Was that the first one? Had a whole thing, yeah. Had a whole thing. Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl. They were still a little worried that a ride Wasn't enough reason to make a movie We've also got a curse and a pearl A black pearl
Starting point is 01:03:11 Don't even know what that is I gotta see this I was skeptical What do you got Paul What do you think Gilbert Grave Alright Please speak legibly What's he think you? But great. All right. Please speak legibly.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Legibly. Wow. There you go. Please write audibly. Patton. Darkly. Dark Shadows. Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:40 Great. Oh, you didn't like that one. Weird. So many fans for that movie. Scott. Cry Baby. Oh, you didn't like that one. Weird. So many fans for that movie. Scott? Cry Baby. Paul? Urb.
Starting point is 01:03:56 Doug, I'm going to want to say Murder on the Orient Express. Oh, very nice. Yeah, recent. He's still working. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Yeah, recent. He's still working. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The Pirates of the Caribbean. At World's End. Yes!
Starting point is 01:04:19 Paul? The Astronaut's Wife. Who was that? James Mason? Bill Nye That's how he talks? Sometimes Pirates of the Caribbean on Stranger Tides
Starting point is 01:04:40 Scott 21 Jump Street Be careful now, Paul Stranger Tides. Scott? 21 Jump Street. Ooh. Be careful now, Paul. Did he show up? I thought I smelled some scarves. Did your scarf
Starting point is 01:05:08 dart go off? I'm getting a ping on the scarf. Perhaps you also smelled some chocolat. Oh, chocolat. Chocolat. Chocolat. Mordecai.
Starting point is 01:05:25 Wow. Rough. Mordecai Rough A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 What? Two? Settle down Less words A Nightmare on Elm Street Reason one Two? Settle down. Just two? Less words. A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Starting point is 01:05:49 Reason one? Yeah, he's straight up in the original. Really? Mm-hmm. What a weirdo. Yeah. He has explosive blood diarrhea in a bed. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 01:06:03 That was the first room he trashed. Well, technically, Freddy Krueger did the... Pat, wake up. There's a game afoot. Okay. Am I up or is Paul up? There's a game afoot. Okay.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Am I up or is Paul? It's Paul. Oh, sorry. From hell. Oh, very nice. Platoon. He's in Platoon. All right.
Starting point is 01:06:40 I'm sorry. Why you got to be so smart? I'm sorry he's in Platoon. I don't know what to tell you, but he's in Platoon. Donnie Brosco. Ooh. I try to remember that one, but sometimes I forget about it. Doug, can I talk to you for a second? What's up?
Starting point is 01:07:00 What have you been up to? Yeah, what have you been up to, friend? Paul. I like to... So did I. What is the name of that... Sleepy Hollow. The Legend of?
Starting point is 01:07:28 Yeah, that's all you gotta do is let your fingers work it out. There you go, yeah. Just walk it across the table. Patton. What? Lone Ranger. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:39 Scott. What's that fucking one? What's that fucking one? What's that fucking one? The, it's not the title I'm thinking of. The fucking magical bullshit of... Oh, fuck! Fliff and Piff. Oh, magical bullshit.
Starting point is 01:08:15 Of Wolf and Cliff? Is that what you said? Fliff and Piff. Full title. Full title. Fliff and Piff in the secret chamber You out, Scott? What's the one where he's
Starting point is 01:08:33 I know what you're thinking of but I can't help you Yeah, but now I'm thinking of the other one Oh, goddammit He's been magical more than once Lost
Starting point is 01:08:42 Oh, fuck Alright, we gotta move on Alright, fuck it Edward Penis we got to move on. All right, fuck it. Edward Penis Ant. That was him, right? No, that was just a... How do you know it wasn't him? He is that good.
Starting point is 01:08:55 Paul? Deadman. Deadman. Ooh. Patton. Ringo. Ooh. Paul.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Paul. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest. How many of those movies are there? Way too many. There's five too many. I'm thinking of one where he was very cute in it.
Starting point is 01:09:32 He was doing cute stuff. That person gets it. Yeah. Do the title legs. Title legs. Walking on the table. Let's find a movie title. And we're going to walk around
Starting point is 01:09:51 and maybe make some brain neurons. Find us some Johnny Depp. Go. Paul. I'm going to have to call. Nick of time literally wow you got that one literally it was wow
Starting point is 01:10:16 yes I remember the other one now too this is great stuff okay Patton was the other one Benny and June Benny and June? Ha ha, Benny and June.
Starting point is 01:10:28 He was so mentally ill that he was great at Charlie Chaplin routines. Paul? Let's see. Let's see. Wait, you said you thought of another one. Yeah, but then Patton said it out loud. God damn it. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 01:10:48 That was shitty. Oh, as anyone said, it was Sweeney Todd. They would. If they say the whole title, it'd be great. The Demon Bobbitts. It's real. Did they use the whole title for the movie?
Starting point is 01:11:08 Scott can tell you that. He loves that movie. Because I said that on your show? Yeah, you loved that movie. Eight years ago? You take that as truth? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:18 You're the only person I've ever said that to. Oh, well. Oh, this is special. Now it's out there. That's so crazy. Now it's out there. I hope you keep your job.
Starting point is 01:11:25 You actually listen to me. I hope you still get to make freedom. Hey guys, let's form a group called the Job Keepers. And we pledge to keep our jobs every day. And our mascot will be the Crypt Keeper. Yeah. He's kept his job all this time. He's keeping that crypt.
Starting point is 01:11:45 Let's refuse to let our own statements hold us back. If someone digs up something I said one time, I'm going to say, it wasn't me. Yeah. The Shaggy Defense! That's right. I couldn't have written that on Twitter.
Starting point is 01:12:01 I was banging someone on the bathroom floor. What a squalid song. Whose turn is it, Patton? Blow. Ah, Blow, of course. Of course, Blow. Of course. Of course, blow. Of course, of course. And he was also in?
Starting point is 01:12:37 What's the one? I can see him. Tell us what he's doing. Well, he looks different. I bought the book of this movie at the airport. Read approximately... Back to the Future? 50 pages. Did not return to it.
Starting point is 01:13:01 Black Mass. Oh! Very good. Patton's got another one I had to envision it on my bedside table covered by four other books Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Starting point is 01:13:21 in Mexico. In Mexico! Paul, it keeps coming back at you pretty fast. I know, man. I know. It's hard for me. I'm a nice guy. You're too nice for this game. I'm under a lot of pressure for being so nice.
Starting point is 01:13:45 This game isn't for sweethearts. It's not. It's not. I don't want to say. Oh, what was that one? Yeah, I know the one you're thinking of. He was in it. I don't know what that is, but I'm sure you're trying to be helpful.
Starting point is 01:14:11 Was he in a movie about wind? He wasn't in Twister. No, he wasn't. Would have been great if he walked in disguised. As a cyclone? He played the Pepsi can in Twister. I feel like I don't remember the movie Twister as well as I should. If you throw a bunch of cans at a twister,
Starting point is 01:14:48 you can find out how twistery it is. All right, okay. Then you've got to keep a bunch of cans around. Yeah. You also have to have a belt ready, because that's how they save themselves. They tie themselves with a belt to a pipe. You've got to have a belt ready? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:03 Bill Pax is like, holy shit, I have a belt on. Let's use it. How ready does it have to be? Really ready. Right now I'm thinking of a bunch of the ones we've already said. That's not as helpful as you would think.
Starting point is 01:15:19 No, not helpful at all. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Oh, of course.
Starting point is 01:15:32 Here we go. Just saying. He was in. Yes. Just saying. He was in. Yes. Cragley Mansion Murder Time. 2019.
Starting point is 01:15:59 Scott, you want to look that one up? That's all right. Johnny Depp plays an eccentric weirdo in the futuristic realm of 2019. No, I yield. I yield. He yields to Patton Oswalt,
Starting point is 01:16:19 who's our winner. Yes, Jake. All right, so what's i was feeling some real fear and loathing there at the end that's the one i was trying to think of then i was trying to think of don juan oh shit that fucking dumb thing. Lost in La Mancha. He was in Tusk and Yoga Hosers. Oh, yeah. As the same character. DeMarco. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:50 Wait, who? Which what? Tusk and Yoga Hosers. In both movies. What did you just say to me? What the fuck did you just say to Paul? How many movies did you just name? I named two movies.
Starting point is 01:17:04 One called Tusk based on the Fleetwood Mac song and the other one was called Yoga Hosers and it was a sequel to Strange Brew. So who were you playing for Patton? I was playing for the amazing
Starting point is 01:17:19 Colossal Max. Max come get your prizes. Where you at Matt? Oh it's that guy. It's Paul's enemy. Fuck this guy. Sit the fuck down. What are you doing talking to my boy, Paul? Nova represent.
Starting point is 01:17:39 Oh, he doesn't want his bong. It's like, save it for next time. Like, I'm not going to just leave it here. Save it for next time. Next time. But congratulations, dude. Congratulations. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:51 Real quick, Patton, what do you got to plug? What is going on? Just a lot of dates coming up. Go to PattonElswell.com. Doing a lot of stand-up. Very cool. Very cool. Oh, and Sorry to Bother You is in theaters now.
Starting point is 01:18:05 Do you play the voice of David Cross? Yes, I play one of the white voices and I have a small role in Teen Titans Go. You can go check that out. Oh, now I get why you said that one was good. But it's good! Sorry, Paul's scared of sharks.
Starting point is 01:18:21 And I just lifted this hand up. That was terrifying. I thought he was coming to get me. AP Bio. Oh, yeah, AP Bio. Do you gotta keep shouting out shit he's in? I got nothing. What do you got on IMDB back there?
Starting point is 01:18:38 Hey! Untitled! I took it off. Here you go. Cool. Scott Ackerman,'s going on Fred? You know I got Three podcasts
Starting point is 01:18:49 And A bitch ain't one Yeah So you got the podcast Are you talking to three? Are you I got three of them I got comedy bang bang
Starting point is 01:19:00 Limited job Opportunities Non-existent Screen appeal God Jesus You were terrific As Michael Caine's Back in
Starting point is 01:19:13 Austin Powers In Goldmember Michael Caine's Back In Austin Powers Goldmember Well thank you
Starting point is 01:19:23 For being here Taking time out From podcasting to do it. What? And Paul F. Tompkins. Doug. Obviously. Weed press conference.
Starting point is 01:19:35 Freedom. Freedom on Stitcher Premium with Scott and Lauren. Also Spontanean Nation every Monday on Earwolf. Yay. Bojack Horseman comes back September 14th. Come see Paul at the Paley Fest.
Starting point is 01:19:52 You're going to be at Paley Fest. Oh, I am going to be at Paley Fest. That's right. And Tangled the Series. That's the job I could get fired from, I guess. As soon as that all that AIDS talk gets out all that AIDS talk
Starting point is 01:20:09 I was being very welcoming the front half of that sentence is a beautiful sentiment welcome to the wonderful world then it goes a little
Starting point is 01:20:22 south next Los Angeles Douglas Movies is right here on Tuesday, August 7th at 9.30. One more time for all my guests, Patton Oswalt, Scott Aukerman, Paul F. Tompkins.
Starting point is 01:20:39 And we're going to dig into some controversy here. People that text and drive, then rear-end somebody at a complete stop at 40 miles per hour and totals the other person's car is a shithead. Is that why you have to wear the shark head? It's like a neck brace. And people who pee all over the toilet seat are a shithead.

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