Doug Loves Movies - Paul F. Tompkins, Jimmy Pardo, and Sean Sakimae Guest
Episode Date: January 7, 2014Doug welcomes Paul F. Tompkins, Jimmy Pardo, and returning Leonard Maltin Game winner Sean Sakimae to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at... https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies
This is Doug and I love movies!
This is I Love Movies!
It's probably the best showing here in Los Angeles of that.
Yeah, yeah.
There's always, I think what happens in Los Angeles
is there's always some visitors
that don't fit in with everybody
and it ruins it.
But tonight ruins it.
There's nothing to be ruined.
We're coming to you from the UCB Theater.
I'm stalling because you guys know it's coming.
In Los Angeles on Tuesday, January 7th.
Keep in mind you're going to be stuck with this
for an entire year.
2014 Wolf.
Yeah, that was the best I could come up with.
But you just wait until 2015 going on 30.
Los Angeles this afternoon
this afternoon
I did some things
I was on the midnight TV program
and they gave me this giant box
of cookies from
from Deluscious
cookies and milk
I guess you have to go to the actual place to get milk
I don't think there's little military milk packets in here
but
so this is a big, delicious box of cookies.
So thank you to the people from At Midnight for giving me that to give to you guys.
But Los Angeles, this Saturday is what I meant to say.
Downtown, Douglas Movies, Riot Fest Los Angeles.
And it will be a Tournament of Championships episode.
Because I have wrangled three of the qualifying players,
which, as you may know, there's probably about a dozen people that have qualified
that still haven't gotten in there.
So, of course, schedule's permitting.
Las Vegas, Friday, December 17th.
I'm doing stand-up at the 25th Hour Comedy Theater.
It's a real thing, I swear.
Let's get right to
the prize bag. So excited
about this prize bag, because first of all,
it's probably the most stuff from things
that no one on the panel today has
anything to do with.
We're starting with, I wish this, I wish
I owned this, I would proudly walk through airports
with this yellow and red
Bob's Burgers bag.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If anyone from Bob's Burgers bag. Yeah. Yeah.
I wish,
if anyone from Bob's Burgers
was here,
that'd be great.
But still,
a nifty bag.
I was given also
some Cheetos
at At Midnight.
So I threw those
in the bag.
There's a $10 gift card
for iTunes.
A Doug Lives Movies
t-shirt.
And as always, if you take
a selfie of
your selfie wearing
the Doug Lives Movies t-shirt and then
tweet it to me, I will retweet it.
Please have pants on, though.
A Bob's Burger
shirt that's really cool, and
this thing, I'm going
to ask my guests about that when they get out here.
And also, no one from the Simpsons is here, but the complete fourth season of The Simpsons DVD.
Possibly, I think some argue, the best season, maybe?
Top three?
Oh, this is neat.
This is a, what is it?
It says bento box on it
but it's a wrist
what's it called
a whole audience
yelling slap bracelet
yeah
for a child
I have small wrists though
there we go
anyway
so somebody I could play with this fucking thing forever.
So somebody's going to get that.
And I was in Orlando, Florida yesterday, yesterday afternoon.
And I had lunch at the bar at Flaming Moe's.
And I ordered a Flaming Moe.
And so they give you a souvenir glass.
And don't worry, they clean it for you.
And then give it back to you.
And it's a weird glass because it's got a compartment that they put dry ice in.
Because the Flaming Mo, while you're drinking it, a bunch of smoke is coming up in your face.
It's fun.
Nobody recognized me until I was drinking this
and they're like
oh that guy by the smoke
I think I know who that is
alright that's everything
in the bag
please give a big
warm welcome you guys
to Sean Sacamay
Jimmy Pardo
and Paul F. Tompkins Oh, Jimmy's handing out quarters?
I'll take it.
Oh.
Lucky audience member.
I had that change in my pocket
obviously going jing-a-ling-a-ling.
And I wanted it out.
So everybody's a winner.
Everybody's a winner.
I am scanning the audience
to see which young person
should be sitting on the floor
instead of this full-grown man.
You're going to make somebody swap out?
I feel like...
I'd like to see a swap out.
Hey, yellow shirt.
You look pretty trim.
You look like you're in good shape.
Can you sit in Lotus for an hour?
How old are you, sir? May I ask?
Will you answer me?
Ask me.
You know what?
I think that joke told me everything
I need to know.
I like how he pulled
the toothpick out of his mouth
as he said it.
You can ask.
What we have here.
It's like Buford Puzder
all of a sudden.
You young man,
how old are you?
He's sitting tall
You're 28
You have no idea
It's all starting for you
These are the good times
For the good times
Lay your head
What?
That's Jimmy Pardo, ladies and gentlemen
Back on the show
I'm singing, by the way
That's a song with the late, great Ray Price We just lost him, Paul ladies and gentlemen. Back on the show. I'm singing, by the way.
That's a song with the late, great Ray Price.
We just lost him, Paul.
Ray Price,
taken from us too soon.
No, no.
About 90.
Oh, okay.
He died right on time.
What was the holdup, Ray Price?
Right on time.
Taken on schedule.
Yep.
What is this thing
you brought for the price?
I brought,
and this is a quote from my son
unwatchable movie
We watched it and then I said
how was that Oliver?
and he said
it was unwatchable dad
so enjoy winning that
I don't even want it in my home
I like to picture Oliver in a little dressing gown
Or an ascot
He's got a little
Kid sized martini
That was unwatchable
And then he told me why Batman
Should have been the star of it
He likes all things Batman
He is a big fan of the Batman
Do you let him see the Christian Bale films?
That's what I introduced him with
Wait what? No he doesn't see those He sees just cartoons of Batman? Do you let him see the Christian Bale films? That's what I introduced him with, yeah. Oh, okay.
Wait, what?
No, no, he doesn't see that.
Those are two... He sees just cartoons of Batman?
Cartoon, and then, of course,
the 60s television program, yes, sir.
Oh, with Michael Keaton.
Yeah.
Sean Sacame is here, you guys,
and he...
Hello.
He's just a giver because this man he he bid years ago to be on the show who are you on with once you uh won that bid uh silverman hardwick paul sheer can we use first names you don't know
these people enough to just go sarah's disrespectful sarah silverman, Chris Hardwick. Go ahead, then. Was Silverman hardsy?
Radio?
Was radio there?
Did you beat radio?
No.
How did you do in that game? Was that a 12 Guests of Christmas episode?
No, it was about two years ago.
And I did terrible.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah, and then this
podcast-a-thon comes along
and he wants to bid on being a guest on here,
but he's only doing it to help drive the bidding up.
That was my intention.
That was his intention.
You like the action.
And he accidentally won.
And so I was like, well, you know,
since now he's given twice in the thousands of dollars,
let's go, let's take it up a notch.
Let's have him on 12 Guests of Christmas.
It was 13 guests.
You two gentlemen were not there. Not available.
No, but...
Oh, we're not having an affair.
That's right.
Why would we?
We're both married men.
That would be awkward to go off for a weekend a month.
Sexually attracted to each other.
At all. It's like the Coast Guard.
Is that what they do once a month?
That's exactly what they do.
They call out sick to a podcast.
One's got a suit,
one's got a hoodie,
the new odd couple,
here they are.
That's a great...
I leaned in from a camera.
That's a great...
I was so entranced by the theme.
Did Alan Thicke write that theme?
And what did Mr. Paul F. Tompkins bring us this evening?
Thank you.
Is here, everybody.
Paul F. Tompkins.
Wow.
Wow.
Well, thank you.
They will accept only specific verbal cues.
You only applaud when I tell them.
You really got them trained.
The specific thing.
And you brought the Bob's Burgers bag.
Bob's Burgers.
You brought that.
Yes, this was a gift.
A Bob's Burgers shirt.
A gift from the Bob's Burgers television cartoon program,
upon which I occasionally will voice a character.
There you go.
And they sent me this stuff,
and I realized I have too much stuff
in my life.
I have to get rid of this.
What am I going to use
this Bob's Burgers bag?
This one's pretty rough
to walk around with
unless you want to
throw it on your head
and pretend to be
Rainn Wilson in Super.
Anybody want to do that?
Nope.
Nobody would want to do that.
What are these?
These are delicious.
Doug, hold on a second.
Let me show them to you.
There's more to the Bob's Burgers bag.
It's got stuff in it.
You said a t-shirt.
Oh, and the flap wrist.
Slip, flip, flap.
There's a slap bracelet
that when you flatten it out,
it turns into a stylus
for your computer handheld device.
Oh, I didn't know that part of it.
Oh, you didn't know
what the word stylus meant when I told you backstage?
I thought you were calling my jacket stylish.
Aha!
You thought I had a flattering lisp.
Let's look at these goddamn cookies.
Let's do it.
Who brought these?
These are the prize when you appear on the At Midnight program.
Oh.
And yeah, Chris Hardwick even types thank you on a card.
So I'll have to thank Chris for taking the time out of his schedule to type that.
But yeah, there's all these amazing, you got a cinnamon brulee cookie?
That's me.
Oh, okay.
I was going to try to give these away as a prize, but we got chocolate decadence.
No, I don't like that.
Wait, let me take a look at that thing.
You want to look at the decadence?
Look how decadent this looks.
Check out the decadence.
It looks like a fossil.
The decadent remains of dinosaurs.
I thought you were going to say a fossy,
and I still liked it.
It looks like a fossy.
I saw what you did.
They got a chocolate
chip in here. Let me see the chocolate chip and see if I
prefer that over the brulee.
Because I'm having one of these. Make no mistake about it.
Alright.
They're for the winner of the contest.
Well, one of them's not.
You know what? I'm going to go
cinnamon.
Although that chocolate chip does look delicious.
You can have chocolate chip any day
You can't have cinnamon brulee
Just walking down the god damn street
Getting a phone call
I gotta imagine this is some
This argument is the
Look I'm not trying to arrange an affair with you
It's our manager
It's our manager
This is the second scene from the
New Odd Couple pilot
Why do you have the flashlight Tied to your ring This is the second scene from the new Odd Couple pilot.
Why do you have the flashlight tied to your ring?
I have it so that if it's in the car and you have it there in the holder and it's dark,
then that'll flash to alert me.
You might out here the vibrato.
That's exactly right.
So I have a strobe light go off that scares the shit out of me every single time.
Because when you're in the car, you crank those fucking tunes. I crank the tunes, baby.
If life is a highway, you want to ride it all night long.
Life is a highway.
Sean, if you can name who wrote and sang that,
I'll give you one of these cookies.
Tom Cochran.
Oh, all right. Which one do you want?
Or do you want the truck?
Which one would you like there, Sean?
Hey, no, you go ahead and take one.
That'll make my decision up for me.
You dick!
I'm going cinnamon brulee.
You want a nibble on this?
No.
You want a nibble of the cinnamon brulee?
No, thank you.
Brulee.
No means no.
Comes in a nice sleeve.
Yeah, it's a great sleeve.
It comes in a nice sleeve.
Yeah, it's a great sleeve.
This is what Diane Fossey felt like.
It's got a stylus.
To make you smile-less.
All right, you guys. Let's cut the shit, Doug. I made a mistake. I. Alright, you guys.
Let's cut the shit, Doug.
I made a mistake.
I should have went chocolate chip.
This is delicious.
The zippers on this bag are little burgers.
See?
Fun.
Let's play a game.
A game.
You don't want to know if we've been to the movies? What's that? You don't want to know if we've been to the movies?
Oh, yeah.
What's that?
You don't want to know if we've been to the movies?
All right.
Apologies.
Put your hands together.
No, you know what? Paul wants to tell us about the movies he's seen.
You're absolutely right.
Yeah.
No, let's dispense with the chit chat and get right into the game.
Because there is a live streaming show that's happening right after this.
Don't look.
I know we're sitting one foot from each other.
Please don't sneak up on me.
I have nothing to come back.
I'm enjoying my cookie.
Maybe Sean should sit between you guys.
I'm comfortable right here, baby.
Let's play a game. let's do it if we time
permitting we will discuss movies at the end people didn't woo because they're
keyed to certain responses to certain triggers yeah yeah does anyone enter for They hunger as well.
He who hinders hunger is not worth it.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Yes, it was.
Let's go into the audience, fellas, and pick your name tags.
Let me know who you like to play for by bringing that name tag back to your seat for the rest of the audience, fellas, and pick your name tags. Let me know who you like to play for by bringing that name tag back
to your seat
for the rest of the show.
He almost took that guy's stylish hat.
I'm sorry, he has a stylist hat on.
I like Sean. Sean is the perfect
guest. He just goes right to it.
Grabs it.
Jimmy's got to run around. Oh, here we go.
See how he gets back.
Is that his nameplate?
No, that guy's toothpick is not his nameplate.
That guy knows it's 2014 in Los Angeles, right?
Are you two not talking?
Well, you tell him
I can't get close enough
To talk to him without getting poked in the eye
Sean Sacame
Who are you playing for today buddy?
I'm playing for Kevin who has
A Kevin name tag with the 7 in the middle
Like the movie 7
And I chose it because it's kind of hastily made
But it kind of looks like a serial killer would have made it.
And he put a post-it note on the back with the shit in it.
Like if a serial killer was picking up a victim at the airport.
It's me, Kevin.
Oh, I think you're my driver,
but why is there a number instead of an S?
Oh, I'm crazy.
Oh, all right. Can I write up front? Why would there be number instead of an S? Oh, I'm crazy. Oh, all right.
Can I write up front?
Why would there be an S in Kevin?
There's a lot of problems with this sign.
Instead of the V.
That's the worst V I've ever seen.
Jimmy, who are you playing for?
Gus? Is that your name, young man? Yeah, why is the S a seven? Worst V I've ever seen. Jimmy, who are you playing for? Gus.
Is that your name, young man?
Yeah, why is the S a seven?
Hey, brother.
Yeah, this is Gus, the Don Knotts favorite.
Sure, field goal kicking mule.
Right out of the collection.
Don Knotts, it was a favorite of his?
He loved it.
Boy, did he love this film.
Spoke highly of it.
Oh, he did.
He liked a lot of films. You know what he loved? He loved it. Boy, did he love this film. Spoke highly of it. Oh, he did. He liked a lot of films.
You know what he loved?
The first Halloween.
Don Knotts.
You couldn't shut him up.
That's a true story.
On the set,
have you ever seen
the true Hollywood story
about Three's Company?
They got tired
of how much he talked
about his love
of the movie Halloween.
You know,
the mask was
a William Shatner mask.
They painted white.
We know, Don. Who knew Sean
could do such amazing impressions
under such...
Who are you playing
for, Paul? I chose
this one because it's an actual name tag.
This is Tanya.
Tanya, can I say your full name?
Uh, okay.
Oh!
Don't worry about it, Tanya, Tanya, can I say your full name? Uh, okay. Uh-oh. Don't worry about it, Tanya.
Your anonymity is protected.
You're talking about Tanya Gamarian?
Jimmy.
She called out sick from work to be here.
A good old YP. What is that a name tag for? Uh, my work. Your work to be here. Good old YP.
What is that a name tag for?
My work.
Your work.
Thank you.
Tom, I think we had already established that.
The prosecution rests.
Oh, yellowpages.com.
So that'll be obsolete in a month and a half.
Yellowpages. I think people are objecting to the fact you're chewing with your mouth full. A month and a half. Yellow pages.
I think people are objecting to the fact
you're chewing
with your mouth full.
You're talking
with your mouth full.
Who's this?
What's that?
Hi.
Who said what?
Jimmy.
Hello.
Pardo.
Hi there.
Pleasure.
With that out of the way,
let us continue.
Play the game.
Let us play the game.
We'll start with Sean
and then we'll go to Jimmy,
and then Paul.
And Sean gets to...
You know what?
You don't get to pick a category, Sean.
Oh!
Yeah.
A little twist tonight.
Why?
What?
I'll tell you why.
Who cares?
There's a little twist in the game tonight.
What?
What reason for this
could possibly interest you?
It's how I handle my strategy.
Oh, it's working.
In the past few weeks, I've been trying to
do a clearinghouse of
categories in the Leonard Moulton
game, and just trying to get them
out of my phone, moving on, New Year,
etc. Happy New Year, by the way.
And these, we're going to play tonight with the three categories
no one has wanted over probably
the last three or four months.
Maybe up to a year.
And then, if there's a tie,
we're going to play the asparagus pea category.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Sean, the category
is We Shot a Zoo.
This movie has hunting in it.
Okay.
1996 is the year.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
He says about this movie that,
well, it has an Irish bridge builder in it.
Yeah, it sure does.
And it's based on the same story, the same true story,
that inspired another movie.
In addition to this one.
So the book inspired two different movies.
And there's eight names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Six. It's got hunting in it seven don't you mean V no so I'll take you I'll take
your original bit six said six Jimmy what do you think of that?
I'll go nickel.
Fair enough.
Paul F. Tompkins.
1996.
That's right.
Hunting's in it.
Irish Brit builder.
Inspired two movies,
this story?
It was based on a book,
did you say?
Or based on a real event? It was based on a book, did you say? Or based on a real event?
It was... Oh.
Clever.
I thought it was both.
No, it was based on the same true story
that inspired another film.
So I do not know if it's...
Bookishness.
Being a book, yeah.
Jimmy Pardo named name that movie.
What?
You must have understood. I said five.
Yes, certainly you would know it in four.
Of course I would, but I want to see what you do with it.
I wanted you to show off
that you know this in four.
I'm showing off my strategy.
Ready?
Waiting on you.
I'm waiting for you to name five people so that I can get this wrong.
My strategy was that Paul would say
four. Then Sean would say, name it.
And I'd come out smelling like a fucking
rose.
I would like you to surrender
the point
and then play that out exactly how you just
described it. Is that true?
That's what I'd like to have happen.
You want me to surrender the point? Do you think you have a chance of pulling
this with five names? Do I?
I'm looking at it and I couldn't tell you
who four of these people are. Are they
the top four?
Because I don't get them. I get the bottom five, right?
That's right.
I'd really want the top two if I were you.
All right.
Let's assume I'm not getting it
anyway. Then I say,
no dice, and I say five, but I've already lost. So then I say no dice And I say five
But I've already lost
Now you would say four
I'll say four
You say play it
Yep name that movie
Alright go ahead Paul let's see how you can do
Okay your four names
And Paul also loses a point here right
And doesn't Sean too for playing along with the way you said it goes
Don't we all miss a point
Om Puri.
Henry
Sele.
C-E-L-E.
C-E-L-E.
Brian McArdle.
That's not the one I know.
Bernard Hill.
That guy I know.
And John Canney.
K-A-N-I.
So that certainly sounds like some hunting
must have happened.
I fucking forgot the category.
Yeah, that's...
Can you give the fifth name?
1996?
Yeah. Ghost in the Darkness.
Correct.
Really? Ghost in the Darkness correct I like this new wrinkle
see what happens when it goes the way you want it to go
I still lost
still badly yes
that was awesome
nice job Paul
thank you Doug I appreciate the positive reinforcement Still badly, yes. Yeah. That was awesome. Nice job, Paul.
Thank you, Doug.
Appreciate the positive reinforcement.
So what really happened there?
Paul got the point because Jimmy challenged.
Well, Sean challenged.
I said what really happened.
Not the made-up version.
When you missed. I lost. Yeah, I would not have gotten that. Paul-up version. When you missed.
I lost.
I lost.
Yeah, I would not have gotten that.
Paul got the point.
Thank you, Sean.
No, I know who got the point,
but who challenged him?
It was Paul. Okay.
All right.
So, same thing.
So, we'll go to Paul after you, Sean,
and the category that you have to take.
No, no, no.
No, no.
You'll see how this works.
I'll have you on again seven, eight more times.
It's best of three.
Doug?
Yes.
We're playing to two points,
so you can always tie it up in this round.
All righty.
16 Candles.
Films that came out 16 years ago.
Do the math.
This film is from 1997.
Funny if I said some other year.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
He says about the movie
that the action never flags.
So I'm not sure if that makes any sense.
And the flags never action.
Okay, I'll just say the whole sentence.
The action never flags,
though it becomes somewhat mechanical after a while.
From 1997.
Bless you!
Man is allergic
to mechanical action.
And
Leonard lists
12 names.
I'll go 10 names.
Alright, Paul.
See, I think this is gonna come
back around to you, Jimmy. Five names. Alright, Paul. I think this is going to come back around to you, Jimmy.
Five names.
Oh.
Oh.
Alright, Jimmy.
This is...
We might have time to talk about what movies you guys are seeing.
Well, I don't. I can't. Hi.
Hi.
You say
five? I said five.
Mark down from ten.
Yeah, you have to, didn't you? Out of twelve.
Hmm. Yeah.
Like King Solomon.
Name it!
Boo!
Okay.
I'll give you those five names.
Please, I wish you would.
I'm not even going to give you the clues again.
Thank you.
And Sean, get ready for the answer to the question,
what movies have you seen lately?
Your five names.
And go ahead and yell it out as soon as you know it.
Oh, wait.
No, don't do that. Wait for all five names. And go ahead and yell it out as soon as you know it. Oh, wait, no, don't do that.
Wait for all five names.
Absolutely.
Samantha Bond,
Jeffrey Palmer,
Vincent Schiavelli,
Desmond Llewellyn,
and Judy Dench.
Yes, the Dame one.
The action never flags
When you're sitting in the audience of
1997's
GoldenEye
Tomorrow never dies
I can't remember the years
The years of the bonds.
Jimmy, you did it.
You went from am I out
to right up on top.
Yeah.
I tried to make it
exciting. It was just laid there.
I'm tied with Paul.
Yes, but Sean, he's a good player.
Very good player.
And he gets to start again.
He gets control again.
But this time it's going to go to Paul.
I mean, Jimmy.
I'm sorry.
Jimmy, hello.
Hello again.
Hello to you.
Sean, I don't mean to exclude you.
Hello to you as well.
Oh, hello.
Sean, hello.
Hi, Paul.
How are you?
How do you do?
Very well, thank you.
The category is Walter Whiteys, which is films where you see a dealer in their underwear.
Dealer in underwear.
To clarify, Doug, drug dealer?
Pack a rat?
Yes. Baccarat Yes
What if Richard Simmons
Has a card based program
For losing weight
Meals on wheels does not count
Meals on wheels
Deal a meal
Deal a meal does not count
It's not deal aa-meal the movie
Three and a half stars
You got me excited about that pitch though
It's not a bad movie
Starting a guy in a suit
And another guy in a hoodie
Do we get to star in this thing?
Yeah
Are we attached?
We're already attached
To this ill-fated premise
Three and a half stars 1997 Extraordinary attached? We're already attached to this ill-fated premise.
Three and a half stars, 1997.
Extraordinary, Leonard calls this
movie. He
also says that
it's gripping.
And...
He lists
15 names.
How many?
Sean Saccamay.
There's plenty of time to spare in the show, so I'd love to have a three-way tie.
That's a good...
More than half.
That's a terrific opening bid.
Exciting.
What are you going to do about that, Jimmy?
I'm going to have a drink of water. This is tense. What am I going to do about that, Jimmy? I'm going to have a drink of water.
This is tense.
What am I going to do?
What are you going to do?
Because then I have to say six, right?
I mean, that's the maximum amount of numbers for you.
So he says seven.
I either say six or name it.
Those are my two options.
If you say six and a half, I'll give you just a first name.
Wrinkle!
Well, then I say six and a half.
I take advantage of this loophole.
Word is bond, Doug, word is bond.
Six and a half over here.
All right, well, now we move on to Paul. Five and a half over here Alright well now we move on to Paul Five and a half
Of course
So
Five
Oh
He wants that whole name That one might be important Go ahead Oh!
He wants that whole name.
That one might be important.
Go ahead.
Oh, Jimmy says name it.
Sean.
Oh, we might have a three-way tie here.
Yeah.
Or I win by some weird default.
I'm so excited.
By some unfair rule, I will win if he misses this. You can't backpedal from it now, Jimmy.
You said it.
No, it's a win-win for me here.
You said it in a scary way.
Drug dealer in underwear.
Three and a half stars.
DD in you.
Extraordinary.
Gripping.
And your five names are...
Joanna Gleeson, Jack Riley, Ricky Jay, Robert Ridgely, and Philip Baker Hall.
And the name of the movie, Sean Sackamay for a three-way tie is?
True Romance?
Guess not.
I'm Jimmy.
Congratulations, Jimmy Pardo.
The correct answer is Boogie Nights.
Boogie Nights.
I knew it.
I knew that one.
Boogie Nights.
I knew that one.
Boogie Nights. Sister Christian, right? That iconic scene. I knew that one. Boogie Nights. I knew that one. Boogie Nights.
Sister Christian, right?
That iconic scene.
Oh, that scene.
He's throwing those firecrackers about.
Dear old Fred Molina.
Nope.
Yeah.
Alfred?
Oh, I'm sorry.
You would know him as Alfred Molina, of course.
Of course, you'd know him as Alfred Molina.
His friends call him Alfred.
Well.
You know what I thought you said?
What did you think that I said?
This is how bad it was.
Fran Molina?
I thought I was correcting you.
I thought you said Al Malinero.
Al from Happy Days?
Yeah, and then I thought I was helping.
I legitimately thought you were helping.
No, no, no.
You mean Alfred Molina.
I thought you said Al...
What if Al Molinaro had been in that scene in Boogie Nights?
In the bathrobe.
More awards.
With the red bikini underwear.
He's Chinese.
Whatever that noise was he'd make.
What was that noise he'd make?
He'd go, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He would say yeah in a very resigned way.
That was his catchphrase.
It was weird. I can't even replicate it.
Everybody gets a catchphrase.
You, you, everybody.
What was
Chachi's catchphrase?
Wah, wah, wah.
Yeah.
Wah, wah, wah.
So they just run out of words
for catchphrases.
Your catchphrase is a noise.
Goo, goo, ga, ga.
We'll bring a baby character in.
Wait, is Dice Clay running the show?
Who's running the show?
Dice Clay.
Who's the showrunner?
Yeah, everybody gets one.
We're doing Dice Clay impressions, it's true.
Yeah, it was Dice Clay.
Did you know the character of Fonzie was based on Dice Clay?
Yeah, of course.
Everyone knows that.
All right.
Some young people might not.
That's why Dice Clay guards Fonzie's jacket
at the Smithsonian.
Hey.
Come on.
What would people at YP think?
I bet you her name tag doesn't have a shithead on the back, does it?
Does it have a shithead on the back?
Unless that shithead is some sort of robot.
It's just a bunch of numbers.
Did you think IG-88 is a shithead?
Hold on a second.
IG-88, robot bounty hunter, right?
So someone built him
and then programmed him
to hunt for bounties on people's heads.
But he shows up at the Intergalactic Bounty Hunter Summit
or whatever the fuck it was.
Is he acting on his own?
Has he achieved his own free will?
Or is there somebody that's waiting for him somewhere like,
what is keeping that goddamn robot?
Did he get the contract or not?
I don't know.
not?
I don't know.
Well, Doug, who should I ask?
Because I've been asking all over town.
I mean, like,
forget it.
I need another shithead
out of somebody.
And that's your badge lady, Paul.
Do you want to whisper it to Doug? She can come up here and write it down.
You don't have to whisper it.
It seems a little too intimate.
Tony, did you have fun at the show?
Let me just take a look at that.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Who were the three people you wanted to be the guest tonight?
Oh, ha!
When I took her name tag, she was surprised that I took it,
as if, like, surely somebody cool is going to come out of there.
There's got to be someone.
Oh, no, there's a contest winner here.
From her...
She's thrilled.
From her shithead, I think, I'm guessing you work at a hospital.
Don't say.
We already know where she works.
Where?
Yellowpages.com.
Oh, right.
We already know where she works Yellowpages.com
Oh yeah that makes sense
That shit totally makes sense
Does Gus get these cookies?
Yeah
Come get it Gus
You get it all baby
Come and get it Gus
You get the dirty remains Of the one that he ate.
My pleasure, Gus.
Looking great.
Here's your Bob's Burger bag.
This is one of them where I'm usually not jealous of the winner,
but that stuff would stack up really nicely with all my other crap.
He's got a beautiful jacket as well.
He does.
Gus is very well put together.
He knows how to do it.
You're welcome, Gus.
I wish there was a more recent movie with the word Gus in it
than you've got to go all the way back to that 70s field goal kicking mule thing.
I think it's okay that he has to.
Oh, wait.
Next time, August Osage County could be your name tag.
Update that shit.
Okay.
I saw that movie.
Did you see it, Doug?
I did.
Nope.
It was a crazy overacting contest.
Aha!
And everybody won.
It was a 14-way tie.
You know, couldn't they find two American idiots
to play Benedict Cumberbatch and Ewan McGregor?
You don't think Ewan McGregor brought so much to that role?
He brought a determination to not sound British,
or I'm sorry, Irish.
What is he, Scottish?
He's Scottish.
I thought he brought a gravity to those 14 lines of dialogue
that a garbage- mouthed American actor
never could have done.
I love how every role is
filled by a known person, a pretty
famous person, and in the
trailer, there's only one other character
in the movie, and they just go, fuck it.
And they name the woman that plays the housekeeper,
they just name her name,
like with Meryl Streep,
and they just throw in her name at the end.'s like what in the trailer in the trailer yeah she must have
been psyched right she must be and she also had three or four lines but yeah it was a it was a
weird movie i thought it was a great play did you ever see it performed why did they get helen
muir to play that housekeeper i've never seen that performed on stage, and I pray to God that I never do.
Can you imagine? I thought it was really good.
Have you seen it on stage?
Yeah, but it's like fun.
When people are breaking plates
and pretending to fight with each other on stage,
it's exciting.
In a movie, it's like...
Are you talking about The Hobbit?
You know, the thing is,
is I do skip from theater to theater,
and I also doze off.
So don't trust anything I say about either of those movies.
Have you been to the movies lately, Jimmy?
Yeah.
Jimmy?
Yeah, I've seen some films.
Thank you.
We're right on schedule.
Jimmy Pardo, present.
Sean, what about you?
Yeah I went and saw The Wolf of Wall Street
and Her
I liked them both
but I thought Her
was a much better movie
Oh okay
Double feature
are we talking
or separate days?
It's not that I guess
Two and 24 hours
Two and 24
You really love movies
Doug
what if he had a podcast
called Sean Also Loves Movies
Don't give people ideas And then you could bid movies. Doug, what if he had a podcast called Sean Also Loves Movies?
Don't give people ideas. And then you could bid on being on his
podcast.
Jimmy, what did you see? I saw a few
movies. These were
talkies, I should tell you that.
You know what? What did I
see? I saw Walking with Dinosaurs.
Saw that with my son.
Oh, Watchable, that one?
He found that Watchable?
Because it looks like garbage.
His father did not find that Watchable.
It looks like prehistoric garbage.
Horrible.
He enjoyed it.
And then I took my mom to see Grudge Match.
I took my mother to see Grudge Match.
Do you guys not get along?
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, I enjoyed it.
Making...
I enjoyed it.
Getting revenge on a shitty childhood?
Uh-huh.
Oh, you should have gone to Saving Mr. Banks then.
Didn't see that, no sir.
Oh, Christ.
A lot of flashback material that I wasn't warned about.
Oh.
I liked how in Saving Mr. Banks,
she flashes back to the real life Mary Poppins,
who was this person that came into her life
after a death in the family,
and proceeded to not really help out,
but just say
unpleasant things
to people.
Didn't really fix anything.
Yeah, and she had the same spoonful of sugar
idea with medicine that ends up in the song,
but nobody ever has that conversation
between all of the characters.
Well, I feel like that did come up,
and then she said,
spoonful of sugar, that doesn't work.
That's why she got mad about it.
Yeah, well, she got mad about everything.
Because that was from her real life.
What an unpleasant character,
and what a chore it was to visit with her for two hours.
It does not have the color red in it.
And then everyone stands around thinking about that concept.
I haven't seen it.
When she makes that, do you know how much red is in the movies?
That's what, you're doing Walt Disney.
That's what he does, dressed as you are.
Walt.
And then they
proceeded to think about it
like how can we get
red out of this movie
it's in London
so that's going to be
tricky with the phone booths
they didn't
they forgot
this is going to be
now when you think
about Mary Poppins though
I don't remember
ever seeing any phone booths
in that movie
or any buses
oh
no street scenes no there were street scenes happens though, I don't remember ever seeing any phone booths in that movie. Or any buses. Oh.
No street scenes. No?
There were street scenes. Yet they avoided these two things. And no pears.
No, no pears, of course not, because
they fell on the floor when a death happened.
I never want to see a pear again.
They're a dirty fruit.
Fucking pears, they treat those pears like it's rosebud or something.
A lot of spoilers, you guys.
A lot of spoilers from this thing that actually happened.
It actually happened.
It's a book.
And you can read all about it.
It inspired two movies.
The other one was The Ghost and Mrs. Darkness.
She's like from the beginning of the movie,
no Dick Van Dyke.
And then straight through Dick Van Dyke all the way into the theater. She's like, why did she the movie No Dick Van Dyke And then straight through Dick Van Dyke
All the way into the theaters
Why did she
How'd they get that pastor
That was one of her demands on the first day
Also they didn't
She says no to everything that eventually is in the movie
But they never really show her
Coming around on anything
Or them convincing her
Why it should be that way. She just says no
to everything and then later on
like, and then they made the movie and everything
was in there.
They kind of show the speech he made to keep
the penguins in.
Right. Here's what they didn't show was how much he hated
the Jewish people.
That wasn't mentioned at all.
That did not come up,
but they let him drink and smoke.
That was nice.
Maybe they could have bonded, though,
over anti-Semitism.
Yeah, he should have tried that
instead of giving her a big stuffed Mickey Mouse
and making her ride a merry-go-round.
Somebody just said, what the hell?
I did that, you know,
I was going to accidentally say Ferris wheel, and I
adjusted the course before
I said Ferris wheel. Doug, that was a close one.
Yeah, it was really close.
Seamless, I like
to call it. What do you got coming up, Paul?
Where can people see you?
Doug, all manner of things.
If you live in San Francisco, California,
I'm going to be doing a lot.
Hey!
Ha!
Idiot.
I'm going to be doing a bunch of shows
as part of the Sketch Fest.
Are you going to be up there as well?
Yes.
So look for that.
And then I'm working on a tour for the summer.
There will be me and the guys from Super Ego touring this country and Canada.
Much love.
Much love.
Sammy Sosa.
Jimmy, what do you got coming up?
I, too, will be up in San Francisco
On the 1st of February
1130 AM
A breakfast show
Of Never Not Funny
My award winning podcast
Also this week's episode
Of Never Not Funny
Doug is free
In it's entirety
And we make a very big announcement
On this week's episode
So
When can we hear that
Thursday of this week
Okay
Thursday of this week. Okay.
Thursday of this week.
The entire episode is free,
and we make a very big announcement.
Do you have cancer?
I wouldn't announce that.
I would just do it and surprise everybody.
You would just have cancer and surprise everybody? Uh-huh.
And then make a million!
Don't you forget about me
I'll be alone dancing
You know it, baby
I'm here, I'm coming down
And I'm here, I'm inside
And I don't know
I'm here
Why does he even do that gesture?
Why doesn't he do it?
Because he got to the other side of the football field?
Yeah, he'd never done it before.
That was a scene that was cut out.
He'd never made it to the other side of that field.
They talked about that.
Yeah, that's on the DVD.
Very bad knees.
Sean, you got any gigs coming up?
You want people to come by your place of work
and bother you?
What do you do?
What do you do?
What are you all about?
I'm in sales.
He's in sales.
Yeah.
That's a look I have on my face every day, too.
What do you sell, brother?
Yeah, when they say sales,
it sounds like they don't want to say what they sell.
Yeah, it's always vague.
Yeah, it's voice and data connectivity.
Oh, a little B and D It's voice and data connectivity.
Oh, a little B and D.
For Halliburton.
How do you think I get all this money?
You do.
Guy bids like an asshole. He's got to be loaded. Seriously, I just want to be loved.
No, I've got nothing coming up.
I'm glad we got that out of you.
He goes back and re-answers.
But seriously, I don't have any gigs coming up.
No, I don't.
We're still talking as if there's a time minimum
that the show has to be.
No, we went over.
I was just about to apologize to Put Your Hands Together
at their big live streaming event.
So we do have to get out of here.
I'm going to be at the Comedy Zone in Jacksonville, Florida
on February 12th.
One more round of applause for all the guests
Maybe Jimmy will be back next week
I'll ask him if he can
continue his winning streak
continue his winning ways
and as always
Joey Jojo Jr. Shabadoo
is a shithead
and
babies are a shithead. And babies are a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another
talkie. Guys, I'm told
his viewing prowess makes him
foggy. There's no room
in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves
movies.