Doug Loves Movies - Paul F. Tompkins, Joey Kern, Josh Gondelman and Trey Galyon guest
Episode Date: September 19, 2017Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes Paul F. Tompkins, Joey Kern, Josh Gondelman and Trey Galyon to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Pri...vacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Enjoy the show! Candy wrappers squeating, maybe sticky seeds With 50 azithop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you from the cricket room at Meltdown Comics.
But I don't hear any crickets tonight, so that's very exciting.
Maybe the film crew that's shooting inside the comic
book store chase them away it's monday september 18th 2017 does anyone here have a name tag
oh yes you do shout out to baseball jordan That's a classic reference, sir
Haven't seen you in a minute
This is what really ties?
Oh, this rug really ties
You're looking around like you don't even recognize your own fucking sign
This nug
Why would you put your hand over the word nug?
That is key
This nug really ties this name tag together.
And she's got a whole canister of weed on there,
but there's just one nug in it.
Because you could fit an eighth in that little thing there right there.
And it's, what's your name?
Tiffany.
Tiffany.
So you went with the Tif-le-bowsky.
Makes no sense at all.
What does center the Dragon mean?
Center's your last name?
Yeah, it's Tommy Center.
Tommy Center the Dragon.
I like it.
It's your birthday tomorrow?
Yeah.
Who gives a fuck?
That's my way of acknowledging people's birthdays.
Is by screaming expletives at them.
All right, so we got enough name tags
to justify this whole thing,
so thank you to the seven or eight of you that made them.
And the rest of you, yeah, that's right,
you're back in darkness now.
Where you belong.
Doug plugs,
this Wednesday, September 20th,
two nights from tonight,
Doug Loves Movies returns to Cap City Comedy Club
in Austin, Texas.
Doug Loves Movies is back here at Meltdown Comics
on Monday, October 2nd,
which I believe is two weeks from tonight.
And, oh, this is brand new.
I think I'm squeezing in a saint louis show on uh saturday october 7th
at 4 20 helium it's a gas not sure if it's on sale yet but it will be soon all of my dates
and deets and links are at douglovesmovies.com that's douglovesmovies.com Yeah!
I love when someone gets super amped on the yeah
I really appreciate that
So as you can see there are four
chairs, four guest seats
on the stage
sometimes there's
booking issues that lead to
more guests rather than less.
And in this particular case, I decided to run with it because it's a very special show tonight.
This September 18th is when this show started 11 years ago.
This is the 11-year anniversary of Douglas Movies, formerly I Love Movies, formerly Not A Thing.
So thank you guys for supporting it for all this time.
And let's look and see what I've brought in the prize bag. So I'm sort of over here, like, for the listeners at Meltdown Comics,
the stage really, it's five people is really crammed together,
so I'm off to the side like an announcer or a game show host or something like that.
So it changes the dynamic a little bit.
Some people have seats where they will not be able to see me much at all.
Just hear me.
Well, that's good the way you lean forward so that guy can see.
But now you're just staring at the ground if you do that.
So I don't know if that's going to work out.
I brought for the prize bag a hat that I got at a dispensary in Portland.
The dispensary is called Oregon's Finest.
It's actually a pretty cool hat.
And I brought a blue card from Getting Doug with High.
And some rolling papers that I also got at that same place.
And three different sizes of Peacemaker Christmasy peppermint pipes.
All of that is going to be won by somebody,
plus the stuff brought by all four of my guests.
Please give a big warm welcome
to Josh Godelman, Trey Gallia, Joey Kern, and Paul F. Tompkins!
Hooray!
PFT, PFT, PFT.
You didn't see him shaking that off?
Like, please stop doing that?
Holy shit, you're wearing Oregon's finest hat.
Is it no longer in the bag?
It's got a weird, pointless magic trick.
Dumbest magic trick ever.
Let's meet them individually, you guys.
Such a great panel.
The patriarchy is still alive and intact.
Not messing around with any ladies on this panel.
You may know him from and love him from
a motion picture called Super Troopers.
This is his first time on the show.
Let's hear it for Joey Kern, everybody.
Hello.
Thank you.
Nobody wants to chant J-K, J-K, J-K.
I'll start it.
That's weird for a group to chant that they're just kidding.
Yeah.
That's true.
It doesn't really make any sense.
But you, I'm excited to say, and we just met, I'm a fan,
and you have a motion picture coming out on demand and in some theaters this Friday.
Yes, I wrote and directed it, and I'm in it.
And it's called Big Bear.
Big Bear.
Yeah, comes out in New York, L.A., Chicago, San Francisco, a number of other places.
Yeah, you got Adam Brody's in there.
Uh-huh, Adam Brody's in there uh huh
Adam Brody
and
Pablo Schreiber
oh great actor
yeah he's great
so good
and
what's
Tyler Levine
Tyler Levine
a former guest
on Douglas Movies
he's the best
would love to have him back
if he knew how to shut up
for a second
I'm just joking around
he's great he's always in New York
making that show
about being a ghost
it got cancelled
it's cancelled
oh it did?
it's the longer thing?
so now he's in
he's in South Africa
making a big movie
for Sony or something
poor guy yeah failing upwards yeah it did. It's no longer a thing. So now he's in South Africa making a big movie for Sony or something. Poor guy.
Yeah, failing upwards.
Yeah.
I bet he's not even a ghost in this one.
It's probably the darkness.
Joey, did you get a chance to watch the Emmys last night?
You know what?
I have a kid, and I did not.
Well, that's one of many reasons to not watch the Emmys.
I just figured that would be a good one.
I just threw that out there.
That's perfectly all right, because it's on so late.
Here in California, it starts at 5 o'clock.
Yeah.
So, you know,
that's a problem
when you got a kid.
You got to tell them
a bedtime story.
Dad, I don't want to hear
the one about the big bear again.
But son, it opens on Friday.
But sitting to your right
is a gentleman
who trod that stage
as an Emmy winner.
It's Josh Godelman, everybody.
Thank you.
I don't know, that's how you top being an Emmy winner,
is you come on this show.
I'm very happy to be here.
I like that the audience is giving me this vibe of like,
I know objectively, apparently you're successful,
but who are you?
Yeah, I get that every time.
We're good.
Have you guys heard of a program called
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver?
That guy isn't funny at all without this man.
I play John Oliver.
He's a character I originated
years ago.
Don't ask me to do the accent.
That's offensive.
Yeah, only when you're on the
clock and on camera.
But that is a terrific
show and good for you.
Thank you. Yeah, those jokes about but it's only on one night a week.
Like, doing the show a bunch of times makes a show better.
Like, you know, those shows get to have guests.
John Oliver doesn't have to waste time talking to some actress who's in a movie.
I know, I could have gone with more specifics on that one, as a lot of great comedians do,
but I said actress in a movie.
Could have said actor.
Could have said TV show.
All right, also joining us.
Thanks for being here, though, Josh.
What's the most exciting thing about being at the Emmys last night?
Other than winning, of course.
Yeah, it's always more fun to win things.
It's something I believe.
Is there a more perfect murder weapon out there in the world of awards?
I guess like an Emmy-shaped icicle.
Because obviously, you kill them and it melts.
Because it's heavy.
It's heavy, yeah.
You can pound them with the base.
And it's super sharp.
But you can also stab them with the wings,
or the tips of the wings.
They, because though, it's exciting.
I've done this once before.
And because it's an exciting thing to have,
they're pretty lax with it at airport security,
even though it's several weapons.
It's like a Swiss Army knife
that's completely impractical to have.
So last time, they were posing with it at airport
security. And I was like, do you want a picture? And they're like,
actually, legally, we can't take a picture with this.
But they were just posing as if they were about
to take a picture.
Just holding it.
It's very exciting.
The camera's what makes this illegal.
I've held a local Emmy, and they're the same.
Like a local news Emmy.
They're exactly the same. Did you say you won a local news Emmy? No, I held a local Emmy and they're the same. Like a local news Emmy? They're exactly the same.
Did you say you won a local news Emmy?
No, I held one.
Oh, okay.
You moonlight as a local newsman?
Yeah.
Dougloves Newsie?
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
That was not good.
News, it's true.
Oh, shit.
Here's some breaking news.
Also on the panel tonight,
Trey Gallion is here, everybody.
Hey.
Thank you.
You know this table is for me and my things, right?
Yeah, I do now.
If you could get your shit off of that, I'd appreciate it.
Trey, much like Josh, is visiting from New York,
but unlike Josh, it's not for the Emmys.
No, not at all.
It's just to do this show.
Hang out with friends and smoke weed and do this show.
And you were going to get high on the internet together.
Spoiler for tomorrow on Getting Doug with High.
Trey will be there.
Mm-hmm.
Right. Schedule permitting. Trey will be there. Mm-hmm. Right.
Schedule permitting.
Oh, it's permitted.
Yeah.
You might get another offer for another weed show.
We'll see what rolls in, but I'm pretty sure we're clear.
All right, cool.
And you were just on the last episode of this show.
I was.
And you did not win.
Not at all. So you're
welcome for bringing you back, even though
you're not the champion. Thank you. I appreciate
that. I tried.
That's
why you're here again. Thank you.
As long as you say words when I
ask you to, that's what we're looking for
and guess. Recognize the effort.
Okay.
I'm so
going to lose tonight, too.
Hey, buddy, buck up.
Oh, no, we're good. Yeah, I'm
hey, I'm still leaving with a positive
mental attitude, Josh. Yeah, there we go.
Yeah. But they're filming in the comic
book store, so you can't even walk through there when we
leave tonight, which is, you know, it's a nice
part of the coming here. No, it is fun. It's a fun part of the experience.
Is that the best part of the experience?
Well, I hope it's not the best part.
Because you could just do that part without sitting here
for 90 minutes.
But also...
I'm surprised.
Also sitting here for 90 minutes.
I think I would be a pretty good news man
it's Paul F. Topkin
hi everybody
how's it going
hi Doug
Doug I can tell from your hat
that you're a fan
of frozen orange juice
it's only concentrate for me that you're a fan of frozen orange juice.
It's only concentrate for me.
Doug, may I ask
one of the other
panelists a question?
Yeah, sure.
Which one?
Joe,
your movie Big Bear.
Yes.
Is Big Bear
the location
or a character?
Well, Paul, thanks for asking.
You're welcome.
It's kind of both.
Kind of both?
Yeah, it takes place in Big Bear, right?
So it is location.
In or on?
Or inside?
In the resort Big Bear.
Okay.
And there may be a Big Bear.
Okay.
Not the gay type.
That might be a spoiler.
That might be a spoiler.
That there's a Big Bear.
Because I have a movie
where a Big Bear is the location
and the character.
It's about these little bugs.
And they don't know where they are.
They thought they were on a dog.
It's like a fun Pixar-y type thing
where it's like, did this dog get bigger?
And then...
Is this the pitch?
But Big Bear,
Big Bear, the geographical location,
is kind of the fifth character in the movie.
So this is like Jaws,
where there's the shark named Jaws.
What's Jaws?
But it took place in Jaws, Massachusetts.
The Cape Cod Resort town.
That's right.
What a great name for a town
that would be.
Jaws, Massachusetts.
Doug, ask me about myself.
Are you looking forward to the premiere of Me, Myself, and I starring our friend Bobby Moynihan?
And my friend Mandel Mon.
What?
From Bajillion Dollar Properties.
Yes.
Plays Bobby's mother in the past.
Oh, when he's a little kid.
No, before he was born.
Oh, when he's a little kid.
No, before he was born.
The little kid from It.
A kid from It is the little version of Bobby Moynihan.
Really?
And then John Leroy Kett is old Bobby Moynihan.
Do you think they will get Pennywise to make a cameo in the show?
I hope so.
Either that or Harry Anderson.
Maybe young Pennywise.
Right?
A little evil clown in a tiny sewer.
That sewer was small enough for that clown to have no business
sticking his whole fucking clown face up
out of that hole in the sewer.
Plus, when he's in the sewer
and the lighting and everything,
his painted nose looks like he has a dog nose.
Looks like he's supposed to be
a white puppy
with a little black nose.
He doesn't have the bulb nose like Tim Curry does.
He's just got the painted, but it's the lower half of the nose
so it looks like a dog nose.
Nothing but respect for my Pennywise.
See, to me, Tim Curry is
scary with or without clown makeup.
I'm not insulting the man.
He was just good at being menacing.
He was terribly sensual
in every performance.
He was a sweet trans-sensual.
And then he was
a sweet clown-sensual. And then he was a sweet clown sensual.
That's right.
It's unnerving.
Sometimes I watch Hunt for Red October
and I'm like, why do I feel this way?
And it's because Tim Curry's in the film.
Is that the movie where early on
they do a wipe that says,
and now they're all just going to speak in their original accents?
It's great.
What happens is, I love it to this day.
They're speaking in Russian on the submarine, Sean Connery, Sam Neill, everybody.
And then they zoom in.
They slowly push into someone's mouth speaking Russian.
Then he's speaking English, and they zoom back out again.
I love it.
That's like the concept for a
Spike Jonze video.
Like that's a Fatboy Slim
song or something.
I feel like they probably made that choice on set.
Like this whole Russian thing isn't
going well after two days.
Let's just zoom in and everybody speak English.
This film is not
going to be commercial
unless we figure our way out of this hole.
This fucking Russian hole.
But it's a good movie, though.
I think it was...
Wasn't it directed by the diehard guy, John McToon?
Sure, I think so.
Seems likely.
It's got an established pattern
of directing such films.
Not anymore, though, I guess.
Has he passed on?
No, he did some jail time
for something.
Ew.
Oh, boy.
Yikes.
Yeah, and I'm that guy
that brings that up
and has no details.
That conversation
got more grim
and we started with
is he dead
and it got worse
from there.
No, no, no.
He's not dead.
Much worse.
It's probably
tax stuff, right?
He was into some shit.
I don't know.
Plus he made that
horrible movie
Medicine Man
where Sean Connery
and Lorraine Bracco
were in the jungle, were in the Amazon.
Do you think that's why they put him in jail?
I think so.
Wait, you can go to jail for making a bad movie?
Rotten Tomatoes has a jail now.
He was going to get up,
but then Sean Connery turned state's witness
against him for protection.
All right, well, let's find out, starting
with Trey Galleon, what
you brought for us for the prize
bag this evening. Okay,
well, first off, I brought a copy
of my CD,
and then
I'm staying with my friend
Chuck, as always. Hey, great job promoting yourself.
What the fucking CD?
Well, I mean. The moronic. Okay.
Keep going.
And then so I'm staying with Chuck like I always do out here
and he's got an awesome record collection
and so I stole some cool records from him.
You know you're not holding a record in your hand right now.
No, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got Mickey Mouse
Disco.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got Mickey Mouse disco. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's Johnny Magic Moments from The Tonight Show.
Omaha Benson plays
the 1965 presidential inauguration.
Yeah, yeah.
And then a submission
of recorded presidential conversations
to the committee of the judiciary
of the House of Representatives
it's the Nixon tapes read by some guy pretending to be Nixon
oh wow
I'm telling you Chuck's got the best records
are panelists allowed to commandeer items from the prize pack?
Not that.
And then Steve Martin, the television stuff.
And then some 3D glasses, which you could use to watch the Steve Martin DVDs,
but it's not going to make anything 3D.
Oh, and yeah, don't look at the sun with those either.
That's all.
Wow. Tough's all. Wow.
Tough to follow.
Oh, side two has an amazing track.
It's called March 22, 1973.
Somehow Trey is the only one that has the missing 18 minutes of the Watergate tapes.
Oh yeah.
And it's on vinyl.
So are you interested in having this for your own, Paul?
Yes, but...
Do it.
Pass it down to her.
I don't even know.
I'll consult with the winner and see what the winner has to say.
Sure, you can work something out.
Maybe you could give him your tie.
Ooh.
I think you got a couple more of those at home.
But there's only one of that fucking album.
It's got to be only one.
Yeah, literally.
It's pretty amazing.
Joey, do you know what?
I mean, did you bring something I did
you got booked through a publicist
so that always leads to things being left out
yeah
I think I understood
I did bring something
I don't know if I can top that
not with that I don't think
it just seems like you're holding a piece of paper in your hand.
Well, it's a number of pieces of paper.
Is it our one-year anniversary?
It's a number of pieces of paper, but it's...
This was... I always think these are kind of cool,
but I don't know if anybody else will, but this is
the
day
10 of 7 of
my movie, Big Bear. This was
the sides for it,
which it kind of,
kind of cool.
So it's just the scenes
from that one day
on small pieces of paper.
Just from that one day.
But then I also,
our premiere is tomorrow in LA
and so I wrote two tickets
to the LA premiere.
Oh.
So you really think
that's going to work
when somebody shows up with that?
I'm going to laugh
when they don't get in.
There's no way.
Well, maybe...
Well, yeah.
I mean, I thought maybe...
It says right here, two tickets, sir.
Can you read?
I'm going to show up tomorrow, too,
and write it on a piece of paper.
Don't take it!
But that's it.
But show up where? There's no address, there's no time.
That doesn't sound
more exciting.
I presume it's good anywhere. You could just go
see whatever movie you want.
Show me your biggest bear,
please.
This is written on movie stationery.
I would like
two for mother.
What do you mean it doesn't fit through the slot?
Can you say where the premiere is?
Do you know?
To the winner.
Oh, okay.
I will whisper.
You're going to whisper it in there?
Carly Simon-like, I will whisper.
Because that's the thing about premieres.
They want to keep them completely unknown.
You don't want the news of a premiere to get out there.
I know.
That would be silly.
That seems to defeat the purpose.
It's at the London Hotel.
Everybody should come and storm the gates.
Well, now you swung wildly the other way.
I just wanted a happy medium where you told everybody
my movie's premiering
at the London.
Is that true
at the London?
Yeah,
the London Hotel.
Apparently they have
a little nice,
cool little screening room
in there.
They do.
They do.
I saw a Comedy Central
show there once.
How was it?
Was it comfortable?
Oh,
it was so comfortable.
Doug,
do you like
that movie theater
where you can
stretch out on a recliner
I don't want a recliner
that's just like
that's just like them saying you know what
this movie's not gonna
keep you awake that's how I feel
I just lay down and go to sleep for a couple
hours I feel like it doesn't matter and go to sleep for a couple hours.
I feel like it doesn't matter what the movie is that if you're in it, it's dark.
And they bring you a full meal.
It's like, am I in a plane?
Am I getting ready to sleep until we get to Newark?
It's so stupid.
But it's kind of fun sometimes, especially if you go to a place that has those reclining seats and you're in the front row,
then you're grateful you could recline
because you don't, you know...
I don't like it.
It feels like I'm sitting in my dad's chair, you know?
Like, that's the special chair.
Can you imagine somebody runs in and kicks you out of it?
Yeah.
Get out of my chair.
You know that's my chair.
The bears are playing.
What's this movie?
Then it changes the name.
Don't give me a bear.
And it's just a bunch of bears playing.
I can tell you this, Paul, so you don't have to ask.
Brigsby Bear is just the name of a character.
There's no place called Brigsby Bear. Well well then I got ripped off on my vacation
oh it's crazy doing a show on a cruise ship it's hard to stay upright. Josh, what do you got? You got a whole backpack situation.
An Emmy!
Be the Emmy, be the Emmy, be the Emmy.
He pulls out that Emmy.
Who wants it?
You have to live the rest of my life, though.
That's the thing.
An Emmy would destroy this hotel laundry bag.
It would not last a minute.
It would fight its way out.
I actually, it's similar.
I was given a gift as a bottle of champagne,
and I'm not going to drink a whole bottle of champagne tonight.
I am.
You just won all the prizes.
I'm going to listen to Nixon.
I'll take that, too.
I'm going to listen to fake Nixon. I'm going to listen to Nixon. I'll take that too. I'm going to listen to fake Nixon.
I'm going to drink champagne.
Hey, Josh, Paul wants your glasses also.
Give him your glasses, you nerd.
Not again.
Give me your glasses.
The bully just puts on the glasses.
Now I can see good.
I'm smart too now.
I'm going to reject. Now I like see good. I'm smart too now. I'm going to read James Joyce.
Now I like comic books.
Oh, Jesus.
But I have this bottle of champagne,
and I'm not going to take it on the airplane home with me.
Yeah, that's fair.
So it's for someone here.
Is it Emmy bottle of champagne?
Yeah.
And if the winner is less than 21 years old,
get good at lying or
This is someone Paul gets it. Is that right here? Do we have any under 21 year olds?
Your birthday smile just give it to him right now
But his birthday smile too
Okay, great
You're turning I'm. You're turning 21 tomorrow
makes you the only person
ineligible for the champagne
right now,
so I apologize.
Not at midnight.
It's true.
This show's gonna be
rocking and rolling.
We're gonna wait.
So that's that.
Yeah, pass her down.
Thank you very much.
Of course.
I'm gonna be...
I'm gonna use it as a weapon
if a ship comes in here.
That's what ship christening is about.
It's about fighting off a ship.
Every time.
It was coming right up.
Yeah, you break the bottle,
then you use that jagged part to get it to go away.
I mean business ship.
Get the dock out of here.
What do you have for us, Paul Fancy Tompkins?
Well, Josh, would you assist me?
Would you hold the microphone while I...
Oh, I like this.
First, there's a backpack.
And you think, well, that's convenient
because if I get the backpack,
I can put all the prizes in the backpack.
You can't.
There's already shit in it.
This backpack comes to me
from the last episode
of At Midnight.
They gave us these.
Aww.
So many emotions.
You made less audible groans
when we thought
a person died earlier.
Here's what you get.
At Midnight is better
than most people I know.
You get... Shit. You get the Bob's Burgers music CD, right?
It's all the songs.
You get the CD.
Then you also get this Bob's Burgers vinyl of the same thing.
So good thing he prayed.
This is like, I don't know if this is
ten copies of the same thing.
But it all seems to be the same.
Then you get
the art of your time. That That is a big heavy coffee table book
Big heavy book
And then you also get
This thing that I found
In my house
The American Idol 10th anniversary
Celebration
I don't know
Why I have this
Or where it came from
but
let's see who was
happening in those
ten years
oh Clay Aikens
in there
okay
he was the class of
03
a lot of greats
a lot of greats
that's when he graduated
from American Idol
that's right
I bet Kelly Pickler's
in here.
So there you go.
That's all.
That's stuff.
You get that.
So they have to put it all back together?
Yeah.
I did it once.
The Bob's Burgers album is like that Flaming Lips one
where you have to listen
to four of them at once
and four different speakers.
Doug is now...
He's cleaning up the stage
of the things that I dropped.
There you go.
And then somebody can easily put that back together.
Champagne.
Good luck, winner.
Even somebody on a shopping spree at that comic book store isn't going to walk out with such unwieldy shit.
A lot of heavy stuff, a lot of soft bags that are thin, and a bottle of champagne.
Yeah, it's not an easy carry.
You're going to need a friend.
You might want to just crack the bottle open and celebrate before you try to cart this
stuff home. It's like what an
eccentric 67-year-old would pack
if they were running away from home.
Like, eccentric
or someone with full-on dementia?
You're being very kind.
He gets where he's going and he goes, oh, shit,
record player.
And in my hand, I didn't bring my reading glasses.
Dementia is kind of a character and a location in this.
That wasn't mean.
John McDeernan.
Rest in peace, doc.
John McDiarnan.
Rest in peace, Doc.
Okay.
How we doing on time, you guys?
I could usually see the clock from where I'm sitting,
but this is... What?
I just got weird news.
All right, so...
Don't look at your phone during a show is my advice. I got weird news. All right, so don't look at your phone during a show is my advice.
I got weird news.
Cool.
Can't wait to hear about that.
It's coming up in our segment later in the show, weird news.
This is what you won the news Emmy for, right?
Yes.
And now here's what's weird in your neck of the woods.
An adorable
dog with the tail of a fish.
Do you still do the games? Yes.
Okay.
I haven't been here in a while, so I wasn't sure.
I'm trying to expand it into just prize bag discussion.
But you guys didn't bring enough stuff.
But I do have a quick question before we get to the games.
Yeah.
And Trey knows what's coming, and you might not even have an answer.
Have you seen a movie since you were on the show on Saturday?
No, I watched half of one.
Okay, so we can skip you then.
Yeah, that's cool.
What did you watch half of?
The Founder.
The Michael Keaton McDonald's movie.
Yeah, the McDonald's one.
Yeah, you just watched to the middle and then quit?
Yeah.
Did you stop and think, oh, I know where this is going.
This business is going this business is
gonna succeed wildly and his partners are gonna be fucked no i was just like i'm really high and
tired i'm gonna go to bed now that was really it i've because i've honestly only watched half of
the founder and i'm not like a watch half of a movie kind of person but that's what i did with
that one yeah it was just like one. Everybody ends up with diabetes
in the end.
Wouldn't that be awesome
if it goes to black at the end?
It says when Ray Kroc
died, and then the next thing
is the number of people who have diabetes.
From McDonald's.
And then it says
supersize me too
in theaters soon.
They zoom into the numbers
as the hamburgers are being sold.
Then when they zoom out, it says,
have diabetes.
Don't spoil it for me, though.
I haven't seen it yet.
I don't want to know.
Don't tell me whether McDonald's exists.
Yeah, early on in the movie, he's trying to talk these guys into, you should franchise this.
And they're going, no, we like to keep it small.
Oh, I wonder if he's going to get his way.
Fucking McDonald's. That's so, like, I don't root for McDonald's.
That's so, like,
I don't root for McDonald's.
Like, next thing, you know,
there's just gonna be a movie where it's like,
and Time Warner Cable
was everyone's cable.
Wow, he triumphed.
It's like, yeah,
and it inconveniences me only.
Joey, what was the last movie you saw?
Yesterday, I was on a flight from Tucky,
and I watched Unforgiven.
Really?
Yeah.
That's one of the options on the airline?
No.
You brought it on there yourself?
I did.
I don't know if anybody's flown Frontier.
Well, no wonder you're watching Unforgiven.
You can only watch Westerns on Frontier Airlines.
It said new release on it.
You can also watch Star Trek movies.
Yes.
Indeed.
And it's a classic and it's really good, right?
Yeah, it's great.
Gene Hackman, he's all right.
Yeah, you know, there's a few okay actors in it.
Richard Harris and that Clint Eastwood guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Morgan Freeman.
Morgan Freeman's in it.
Saul Rubinick.
Wait, are we playing a game now?
How unforgiving are you?
John McTierney level.
Josh?
I, on the plane here,
Oh, I love this.
I watched The Fate of the Furious,
which was wonderful. It was
so great. It was like
at every moment they were like, what would be
awesome?
And then they were like,
then someone would say something like,
does that make sense? And they're like, we'll figure it out later.
It's going to be awesome now.
I also watched my
wife watch my wife watch
my wife!
She was watching Borat.
She was not.
It would have been
an incredible transition.
What if she was watching Borat
and every time Borat said my wife
she went, that's me.
If you were him
that would be me.
Exactly. Yeah.
It brings us closer together.
I watched her watch the new M. Night Shyamalan movie,
which I keep wanting. Split?
Split.
I keep wanting to call it Hitch,
but that's a different thing.
And then I go, it's not Hitch, is it Switch?
And then it's like, no, Switch is the song from Hitch
performed by Will Smith.
But Switch. Nope.
Split.
See? I did it again.
But Split.
And that was really delightful, because I just got
to see her laughing, and then I was like,
was it a comedy? And she was like,
to me it was.
But that was a good experience. I guess it's kind of amusing.
He danced. There was a fun
dance. Yeah. But wait,
what did you say you watched? I watched her watch
that. Oh. And I watched Fate of the Furious.
Oh, you're right.
Yeah, you don't really have to be too locked in
on Fate of the Furious. No way.
It's like, oh, something's blowing up. It's like
there are three rules that they and they're always saying exactly what's happening No way. It's like, oh, something's blowing up. It's like, there are three rules
that they,
and they're always saying
exactly what's happening.
Where Vin Diesel's just like,
you're my family,
so I'll never hurt you.
But now I have to hurt you,
but never again.
You're like,
this is the last time
I'm going to hurt you
because you're family.
It's like,
if you were,
if you weren't family,
I would hurt you more.
But because you're family, I'm going to put the brakes on.
And it's like, okay, cool.
And he sounds like if a mountain could talk.
Like, he sounds like if Mount Rushmore didn't sound like a president,
but sounded like a rock quoting a president.
It's also great, too, because none of them are family.
They're not related to each other at all whenever he brings that up no there's only two guys in their family and he
doesn't like either of them Jason Statham my favorite movie star and then the other guy who's
probably more famous but I don't I'm not good with faces Dwayne Johnson yeah Tyrese no No, the other... Ludacris?
I would never mistake Ludacris.
Right?
So I don't know who you're talking about.
There's another British guy who plays
Jason Statham's brother.
Really?
Yeah.
He's a new character to this one?
I don't know.
I don't know the continuity of all the movies.
I don't even know the continuity
of the one I just watched.
Yeah, they're always
two and a half hours long.
They're so long.
Perfect for a flight
because you could
take little naps.
Yeah.
Wake up and it's like,
I'm over at Tulsa
and they're still
trying to be family again.
It's like Little House
on the Prairie
with Punch-In.
I mean, don't they drive the cars into an iceberg or some shit? They're driving on ice in Russia as a nuclear submarine is coming up through the ice to destroy them.
It's just a submarine coming up.
Nobody had a bottle to beat it back with.
Thank you for being here.
Paul F. Tompkins.
What was the last movie you saw?
Doug.
Let me hit you with three movies I've seen recently.
Oh, no.
Somebody said, what on earth?
No man could withstand that many movies.
I don't think there's been three movies made.
I saw Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
Our friend Steve Agee, so much fun to see him.
Hilarious in that movie.
It was great because I'd forgotten that he was in that movie
because I remember he posted
a million pictures from when they were filming it.
Totally forgot he was in it.
And then when he appeared on screen,
and he was hilarious in it. I saw
a movie called The Intervention
written and directed by Cleo Duvall
which is a little indie movie.
It's on Netflix now. I highly recommend it.
And then I also saw for the one millionth time, Netflix now. I highly recommend it. And then I also saw,
for the one millionth time,
Jaws.
I saw that recently.
Just for another go-round?
I saw it for another movie podcast
where we watch the movie
and then discuss it.
And in the discussion part,
did you say,
find some new thing
about the movie
that you never noticed before?
Yes, I did, Doug.
Yes, I did.
Can you tell us as well,
or is it just for that show?
Well, no. I can tell you
this is a little sneak peek
of that other podcast.
For the first time I've
watched, I've seen this movie so many times, for the
first time I was like, hey,
this Quint, he's a fucking
asshole.
He's not fun. He's a fucking asshole. He's not fun.
He's a fucking asshole.
He's treating everybody like garbage.
His hubris gets everyone killed.
He's a dick.
Yeah, he only gets close to fun
when he's drunk and singing a song.
Yeah.
And that song is a bummer.
He doesn't know all the words to it.
He doesn't?
He never gets very far into it.
That's unfair.
That's unfair.
I mean, maybe there were seats cut out
where he sings the entire song.
I think we're going to need a longer song.
He closes it out with a big,
good evening, friends.
Another thing I noticed is the scene where the kids have a fake fin tied to them.
They swim around.
They freak everybody out.
There's a bunch of Coast Guard with guns on this boat.
And so the kids, like, they come up out of the water.
And we see that it's a fake fin
and they like smile at each other
and then they turn around
and then they see all these adults pointing guns at them.
The kids were out of the water for a good like half a minute.
And these guys still have these massive weapons trained
on these children's heads.
Like, I think you could have lowered the guns way before you did.
Like, let's wait.
Let's see the face.
Let's wait until this thing turns around.
And if it's a shark face, then we're going to shoot at it.
It looks like the back of a little kid's head, but I'm not a marine biologist.
I'm just a guy with a gun hoping to shoot a shark.
Hey, kid, let me see that face real quick.
Or in about a minute.
Take your sweet time.
Kid body shark face.
That's worse than shark body shark face.
No one's ever seen that beast before.
I'm shooting that thing every time I always thought it was pretty cool
Of Chief Brody to not go
It wasn't my idea to keep the beach open
When that lady shows up and slaps him in the face
He just takes it
Through the whole movie
Everyone's a fucking asshole except him
It's true
It really is true.
That's why he's in Jaws 2.
He's the only nice guy they could get to sign on for 2 in the beginning.
They already thought of that.
Like, let's sign him for 2.
And they didn't sign Dreyfuss for 2.
Oh, I assume that they tricked him and they told him it was reshoots for the first movie.
I just love
in the second movie
when he says to someone,
I know what a shark looks like
because I've seen one up close.
It's just like,
we all know
what sharks look like.
But all of us
because they're available
in books.
But this is a guy
who's been treated
like an asshole before
who's now,
someone's trying
to treat him like an asshole again.
So he's like, now I
dish it out a little. But he should just say, I've been
to this rodeo before. Yeah.
I've been to the shark rodeo. Yeah.
But anyway.
Underrated
Jaws 2, I think. Is it really?
It's not that terrible.
Is it that good, though?
Has a great tagline.
It's one of the few sequels where the tagline stuck around longer than the movie actually did.
People think the tagline's from the first movie.
Why would it be?
It wouldn't make any sense.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't remember the tagline.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.
Oh.
And Poltergeist 2 is their back which became like a punchline for a lot of
things but i don't i can't remember if i've seen that movie or not i think i did poltergeist
poltergeist 2 poltergeist 2 for
someone someone once told me that the subtitle for jawsaws 4 originally in production was Jaws 4 People Zero.
I remember hearing that, yeah.
And I don't know if it's true,
and I refuse to look it up
because I'd rather live believing
than know the truth and feel sadness.
I honestly think,
I think it was supposed to be a comedy,
and that was kind of discussed,
that they were going to make it a comedy.
I think National Lampoon was maybe involved.
Fun facts, guys.
Hazily remembered fun facts from a long time ago.
National Lampoon's Jaws 4, People Zero.
You see the shark's boobs, which is pretty cool.
Kind of a raunchy apes.
All right, well,
thanks for going to the movies, you guys.
Really keeps this podcast going when my guests have gone to the movies.
But now's the part where Bert Kreischer
has to turn it off
because I'm going to say,
let the games begin!
Gentlemen!
There's definitely more name tags
than there are you guys, but not by
a lot. Also,
they're all smallish.
They are. Yeah.
But go ahead and pick who you want to
play for and we're going to go to a quick commercial break.
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Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
Who are you playing for, Trey?
It looks like you've got quite a lot on your hands here.
Yeah, yeah.
The Tiff Lebowski.
Right.
That's super clever.
This nug really ties the room together at one.
And she also had a bowling ball.
So I was like, yeah, I'm going to take the bowling ball up there, too.
Sure.
Does it fit?
No, it doesn't fit.
I got big hands.
That's how OG got it. I mean, that was the main. I got big hands. That's how OJ got it.
That was the main reason I picked it.
She's not lying.
It is a nug and it's a pretty healthy nug.
Nice.
So thanks for that.
You can have the bowling ball back.
Keeping the nug though.
Oh, Ruth?
Who's Ruth?
Yes.
Now is Ruth the person who owned the bowling ball or is ruth the name of the bowling ball okay okay okay you could do like a movie about people that
live on the ball ruth like mites maybe that live in the the finger holes just an idea I've come up with
next movie
it's just like a Pixar thing I'm thinking of
if you're being crushed by a finger
or a thumb
hold on tight
we're being bold
if you just hold on to the sides you just stay in there
it's rolling down the lane.
Who are you playing for, Joey?
I'm playing for Bad Ben's 2.
And this Twix that was in someone's car for a while.
And then taken out of the car.
And then put back in the car.
Let me see that thing.
It's like Bad Boys, I think. Yeah.
Two.
And his name's Ben.
Are there two Bens?
He's Ben, I'm Ben.
Oh, you made this together, did you?
It took two of you.
I bet mom can't wait to put it on the fridge.
My son's banner home.
What do you got there, Josh?
I'm playing for Doug Benson,
Strip Ortiz.
Oh, wow.
My face over Demi Moore's face.
Yeah.
The tagline for that movie was
just when you thought it was safe to get back on the pole.
Yeah, don't read that.
There's something written on the back.
It's a special message to me.
That's why I took your name tag away from you
so you wouldn't make that mistake.
Okay.
You live and learn.
This is some serious shit.
You'll get pissed, dude.
Paul, what do you got?
A phone?
I got a phone.
This gentleman, his name is Aaron, is that correct?
Correct.
Okay.
And he was holding his phone and I was kind of,
I of course noticed it because
it's a glowing object and uh and i'm a quarter crow and um and so i looked at it and i looked
at it again and aaron went like this and i was like well i gotta do that. And then, so I took off his name
and I'm writing him a nice note.
And Aaron, only you will see this.
It'll be like Lost in Translation
where I won't tell anyone what the note says.
But it's a little note for you.
If you can see that.
A little sneak peek.
Well, there's a little extra pressure
for you to win tonight then, Paul,
because he couldn't have written a shithead on the back of his phone.
There's a lot of extra pressure because I have mental problems.
Back to you in the studio.
Focus. This first game we're gonna play
is a little something called
Alex's, Jason, and Deb's
IMDb game.
Yeah.
People love it.
Can't get enough of it.
You know, Joey, how on everybody's IMDb page,
they'll just say, best known for,
and they'll just throw out four.
Wait, what's IMDb?
Sorry.
Oh, IMDb.
IMDb, you are JK.
But they'll just throw like four credits up there.
And it's kind of the algorithm that determines it.
It's kind of odd.
Now, I guess people can sign up and go in and set up their own best known for.
Did you do that, Paul?
No.
No.
Why would I do that? So, Jess, do you look that, Paul? No. No. Why would I do that?
So, Jess, how, do you look at it ever,
your page on IMDb?
No.
Okay, so what would you imagine they think
are your four best known for things
out of your, you know, trillions of credits?
Boy, oh boy.
Maybe... Do you know what I bet
is on there? There will be blood.
Number one.
See, doesn't that
seem, that seems mean, doesn't it?
Like someone went in and put that there as a
joke. Well, it's super
cool that you're in that movie, but it is also
rather brief. But yeah, brief but yeah people don't know
me yeah you can't be like i'm the bowling pin yeah i'm the chocolate shake people know me already
know that i'm in that movie no one's like hey what happened to that guy from there will be blood i
never i never see him in stuff or like i can't wait to watch this Paul F. Tompkins
movie.
Maybe like, you'd watch 20 minutes
of Daniel Day-Lewis in a shaft.
Come on, get
to the good stuff.
Okay, what else do you think is in there?
Is BoJack in there?
Because there's also TV stuff.
BoJack did not make the cut.
Yeah.
It's always rather odd.
Tenacious D?
Mm-mm.
Hmm.
Mr. Show?
Mm-mm.
I don't like this because I'm just saying stuff that I did.
And it feels weird and gross.
This feels like I tricked you into doing this.
The second title that they picked was your TV show
called No, You Shut Up.
Oh, that's nice.
And then you're a voice in the animated film Tangled.
Yeah, that's true.
And the series.
And then the fourth one,
Best Week Ever.
God bless you, IMDB.
You did it, IMDB.
So that's sort of the idea here.
So what I'm going to do is... That cleared everything up, right?
That's how it works.
They list four random things.
They list four random things. They list four random things.
You're wrong.
And then the game's over.
I thought the game was just asking you if you remember your past.
No, it's I will start naming someone's top four.
And as soon as you think you know who it is, like on the first title, like if it was There Will Be Blood, you might want to buzz in and guess Daniel Day-Lewis.
But no, it's Paul F. Tompkins.
That's right.
It's me instead of him.
It's the answer.
Yeah.
And so you don't want to buzz in too early because that's negative one point.
But if you get in early, head at everybody else,
and you're correct, then you get a bonus point
for each thing you can name in that person's top four.
Oh.
Right?
All right.
Trey, you got it?
Oh, I got it.
Oh, yeah, you buzz in with your own name.
All right. Does anybody want with your own name. Alright.
Does anybody want to practice?
Paul. Joe.
You don't have to.
I'm gonna pass. You could save it for
more of a surprise attack.
Oh, what's he gonna sound like
when he says it?
Josh.
That's how I sound when I say my own name.
I feel a lot of confidence.
Trey, you good?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I love this game.
Are you kidding me?
No, I meant, do you want to practice saying your name?
Nope.
I know how to say it.
I'm going to say it in a second anyway.
All right.
Who's best known for on IMDb begins
with a film called Alien.
Yeah, there's some people in that.
How do you know where I'm going with this?
Fuck me.
I'll give you a second title.
V for Vendetta.
Paul.
Who is it, Paul?
I hope it's Tom Skerritt, Doug.
It is not, Paul. Nice try.
Am I out?
Well, for this round, yes.
Until we figure out this puzzle.
You're sitting at negative one.
There's always time
for a comeback. Does anybody
else want to buzz in?
Surprisingly, no. Alien,
V for Vendetta.
The third title is...
Sorry, I just got to blow up these balloons.
For when you announce the winner.
balloons for when you announce the winner.
I really thought that was a person at first making that sound.
I did too.
Like, oh my God, that is the most
exasperated person alive.
The third title.
Sit this one out, Paul.
Hellboy.
Josh.
No, that was a ploy.
That wasn't me.
Josh, go ahead.
All right, the fourth title. This one might go unsolved.
Unanswered, but that's cool.
Tinker, Taylor, Soldier.
Spy.
Trey.
Really?
Paul F. Tompkins.
I just
told you his top four.
Can I guess? That's right.
That's right. Can I guess?
You can for fun. For fun?
Yeah. Is it John Hurt?
That's correct.
Can I tell you something?
When you said V for Vendetta, I was thinking Visitor, that TV movie about the aliens.
The aliens.
V.
You heard V and you're like, I'll take it from here.
I tuned out immediately after hearing V.
That's all I need.
What else can he say?
Doug, waste time.
Doug.
What else can he say?
Doug, waste time.
Alright, so that means that Paul is in fourth place with negative one.
And everyone else is tied for first with nothing.
If we make a deal, the three of us, to split the prize money.
Wait, there's prize money?
I was kind of trying to secret into existence.
We'll pour some of the champagne into the backpack.
Into the backpack.
Yes, that'll be a third of it.
Yep.
We roll the bowling ball over it.
That would be funny to watch.
What's this plan doing? While we're listening to the records.
Here's the next one.
You're back in, Paul.
Good.
Who's best known for starts with alien?
Alien?
Trey.
What's your answer, Trey?
Tom Skerritt.
Incorrect.
Negative one for you.
I mean, it wasn't a horrible play.
It wasn't the smartest play, but...
Yeah, I count about seven or eight actors in that one.
Could have been any one of those.
Yeah.
But that's cool.
The next credit for this person
is a television program.
Is it about aliens?
No.
Does it start and end with V?
Is it Tom Scary?
Homicide, life on the street.
Paul!
What do you got, Paul?
Hey, Yafit Kodo!
Yafit Kodo is correct!
You're back out of that hole.
Now, you can really run away with this thing
if you can name two other Yafet Koto motion pictures.
Sure.
Live and Let Die.
James Bond film.
And...
Y'all think
what I was also in?
A little
movie by the
name of...
And it's a title everyone loves.
Because it became
as familiar to us
as our own names.
That title being,
of course,
the off-the-coto vehicle known as
Homicide
Life on the silver screen
No that is wrong
But live and let die
Is correct that's one more point for you
You're way out of the lead with one point
And the fourth title they chose for Yafet Kota is The Running Man.
You invented that dance.
It's a dance.
It's an exercise video.
All right, this is the third and final round.
Unless one of you catches us up to Paul,
and we need a tiebreaker.
Done.
Done.
Whose IMDb top four starts with alien?
Trey.
What do you got?
Sigourney Weaver.
Incorrect.
You are deep in it now, Trey.
Yeah.
It's over for you on this game.
We got one more game coming up after this.
How are we doing?
Yeah, we're doing alright.
The second film.
The Green Mile.
Oh.
You said your name
like you say my name.
Who do you think it is, Paul?
Doug.
The power of Christ compels me to say Tom Skerritt.
Incorrect.
I couldn't help myself.
Right?
Doesn't Tom Skerritt seem like he should be in the Green Mile?
He feels like he could be a part of that.
Yeah.
He could be the warden or something.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. He could be the warden or something. Yeah. Yeah.
Nope.
So it's only Josh and Joey are still in.
We're tied for first place.
Now I know.
Yeah.
We are tied for... Are we still tied for first place?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Now you are, yeah.
Oh, Paul's in it, too.
Yeah.
Your old tied for first was zero.
So this could really
mediocrity this could really do it for you if either one of you jump in on this
the third title after alien and Green Mile is Paris Texas Joey what is it Joey
I'm gonna go with Harry Dean Stanton that is correct
Now do I Just for fun
Can you name any other movies
That he was in
There's one more
That's on the
It has to be on the top
Yeah what do you think
Is his biggest one
That you
I mean
Cool Hand Luke
No clues
Cool Hand Luke
No that would have been
A good one
Big Love
No
TV show
Yeah
But he was
He was big on that.
Lucky, he's got coming.
Yeah, Lucky's coming out soon.
Doug, might I hazard a guess?
It's coming out posthumously.
Yes, Paul?
Might I hazard a guess?
Please.
Repossession Man?
Yes.
Repo Man.
What?
Is that right?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Sad.
Dude's been in a lot of cool movies,
but Alien, of course, is number one
because that thing bursts out of his chest.
No, that's John Hurt.
Harry Dean stands, walking around going,
Jonesy?
Jonesy?
And then...
Yeah.
But this is very exciting.
Finish that game.
Joey wins with one point.
Good job, Joey.
The Benz.
The Benz.
Good job, Joey.
It's really the Benz.
The Ben brothers are over the moon.
Let's play the tiebreaker for fun.
Aliens.
Wait.
Aliens?
I see a theme.
Okay.
Oh. Okay. Oh.
Joey.
Who is it?
Sigourney Weaver?
That's correct.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
Oh, 2-0.
Joey wins in a soccer blowout.
Sigourney Weaver. it's all A titles.
It goes Aliens, Alien, Avatar, Alien 3.
Yeah, with that little weird 3
that looks like it's Alien to the 3rd.
All right, so, Joey, you get to go first
in our last game of the evening.
It's something that is named after the gentleman that we just played in this last game, Harry evening, it's something that is named after the gentleman
that we just played in this last game,
Harry Dean Stanton.
Because the second time we played this game
on the show, and we've been playing it ever since,
this was like three years ago,
2014,
Paul F. Tompkins, Jen Kirkman,
Harry Dean Stanton were the
three guests on the show.
And we took turns guessing, naming movies that Harry Dean Stanton were the three guests on the show and we were took turns
guessing naming movies that Harry Dean Stanton was in and he barely won he
pulled it out he made it happen but it was rough I didn't I should have sprung
it on Paul and Jen that they'd have to know his films to get through it.
What made it so hard is because he was a character actor.
It's like you know you've seen him in a million things,
but you just can't pull them in the moment.
It was crazy.
And of course it feels wildly disrespectful
because the guy's right there.
The question is, this guy's right there. Yeah.
And the question is,
this guy's been in 200 movies.
Name five of them.
Like Pretty in Pink, The End.
That was the final film of the Pretty in Pink trilogy.
Yes.
He's also known for watching a guy
have the alien burst out of his chest.
True. Yeah, that one as well.
Was he in Straight Story?
That was Richard Farnsworth.
No, but wasn't he in The Brothers?
Oh, he goes to see him? Probably.
Doesn't Tom Skerritt seem like he should be in The Straight Story?
So this is how this game works.
Oh, didn't you...
I was talking to Jen Kirkman about being here tonight
to honor the late, great Harry Dean Stanton,
and she was going to send along a message.
Did she do that?
No, she sure didn't, Doug.
She said to Paul and I in a text that we were doing together,
I will prepare a statement about harry dean stan she
said it would be my honor or some like that yeah and then yeah i mean she's not even here
tonight because she's like oh i'm going to be going to bed around that time because i have a
flight in the morning because she's going on tour she's like i'm an old lady so i can't go out and
do something when i've got a flight the next day yeah Yeah, man. Fuck Kirk, man. Let me just check my email. Maybe she sent it.
Is that a little hard?
While we've been here.
Nope.
Nope.
All right.
Well, we'll get that from her at another time.
Absolutely.
Do you have anything?
It'll keep.
He's not getting any debtor.
Do you have anything to say about him and your experience with him?
That hour was one of the most uncomfortable
hours of my life. It was the
craziest thing to try to
engage this guy and
who, the whole
hour was like trying to figure out
does he just not want to be
here? Is he just completely out
of it? Is he drunk?
You know what I mean?
Because the first thing... he was a nice little
bit of each of those things he walked into them all in there yeah he was like ushered into the
improv theater and and i think doug said is there anything uh i can get you and he said a glass of
wine which is not in ready supply at the upright citizens brigade yeah they don't serve wine there
but they found it for him. Yeah, they went
to one of the places next door, even in
a glass, and brought it back over.
Got a nice glass of wine during the show.
There's a great, extremely blurry photo that
Doug took of the three of us.
I used to always take a picture of the guests
at the end of the show, but I was always doing it
quickly because I just wanted to do it before the end
theme music was over, and so they're all
blurry and terrible. So I just stopped doing it, and now I just rely on somebody in the audience end theme music was over. And so they were all blurry and terrible.
So I just stopped doing it.
Now I just rely on somebody in the audience
taking a picture at some point and then posting it.
Or I could just repost that.
Did anybody take a picture tonight?
Yeah, see, I knew there was at least one asshole.
But I'm glad I had the experience.
It was really as uncomfortable as it was.
The low point was when he shamed me
for not knowing more about my father's world war ii record that was weird that was the one moment
he kind of perked up and seemed friendly to me and he started asking me questions because i said my
dad was in he was in the navy in world war ii he's on a boat called the uss lexington and then he
asked me like some technical thing about the boat or I can't remember what question he asked me,
but I did not know the answer. And then he just went
so dismissively, you don't know.
You don't know.
So roast in hell, I've had people come up to me and say,
isn't that so sad that guy on your show died?
You should do some sort of tribute to him.
And I go, well, we're going to keep playing Last Man Stanton.
And they go, what does that have to do with anything? And I go, it's called Last Man Stanton after him.
They just thought I was just mispronouncing standing
over and over again.
Yet another thing people don't realize
Harry Dean Stanton was in.
Emmy. Emmy.
Wait, so when does last week tonight air again soon?
Yeah, we're back on Sunday.
And then we have seven more episodes this season.
Why are you able to chill in LA today?
Why didn't you have to go right back?
We work Wednesday through Sunday. So I can fly home tomorrow Tuesday. Okay. Yeah, so anything happens on Monday or Tuesday You just don't even cover it or just like it'll be there Sunday
Or something worse will have happened. That's what this year is doing
So it's really the last Wednesday to Sunday not last week tonight. It's less. I don't have to be there Wednesday to Sunday tonight
Yes Sunday, not last week tonight. It's less Wednesday to Sunday tonight. Yes.
Yeah, go back
and tell
John Oliver I've got a great idea
to make the complicated title
worse.
I get intro'd on stand-up
shows with that as the credit all the time
and people apologize. I'm like, no, it's my fault
for working on a thing with a silly name.
You guys still like, you've seen this guy on,
which is not true.
They're like, this guy,
you've seen a name in the credits of,
ugh, last, just last, really?
Yeah, all the time.
It's not hard.
No, it's not hard.
It's every word.
Credits are hard to get right.
This week, tomorrow.
And it's like, no, but that's as much of a thing
as the thing that's the thing.
Okay, so yeah.
So I'll look forward to seeing it Sunday night.
And haven't you appeared on it because
don't they sometimes use pictures of people
around the office? Yeah, there is a picture.
I've been in a few pictures. One of
them was me getting married
to another gentleman on staff
and we were looking aghast
because we realized someone had had sex with our cake.
I remember that.
Thank you.
I was really good in that.
That's my number one on IMDb.
Guy whose cake was fucked.
So you lied earlier.
You lied earlier.
Nobody can trust a word I say.
He said he wasn't on the show,
but he was on the show.
I'm sorry.
I was shorthanding,
and I thought no one would notice,
and then I've been called on it.
Trouble is,
you didn't notice Detective Doug
was on the case.
Isn't it true you've been on the show in pictures?
Good, good sir, I rest my case.
Before you answer.
You're still gay married, though, right?
Oh, yeah, those pictures are legally binding.
There's a hospital out there totally staffed by otters.
People are dying left and right.
It is a nightmare.
All right, so I'm going to get a name from somebody in the audience
for us to use in this game tonight.
Where is Dork of All Trades?
Hey, man.
Hey, right here.
That's my fake voice you're speaking with for real.
I'm that dork.
So you said something about how you're in town on business from Philly?
Yep.
What's your business?
I'm doing a trade show.
I wish you just said it's my business.
That's my business. You my business you're a trade show what are you gonna trade baseball cards Oh tires it's a tire
trade show you sell tires at the trade show okay what kind of tires round you
really thought this was worth pursuing? I'm interested now.
More tire talk?
All right, we can go back to the movie thing if you want.
Trey loves tires.
Premiering next Monday.
Let's pitch it, buddy.
Come on, dork.
Come on, dork.
Co-host my sarcastic podcast.
Hey, dork, where in Philly are you from?
Northeast.
Oh, the great Northeast.
There was talk of the great Northeast seceding from the city of Philadelphia.
This was years ago.
That was a big deal.
Like, we should be our own city.
It was back in the 1970s when people in Philadelphia
were still pro-slavery.
Wow.
I'm from Boston.
I can say that.
Jeez, dude.
All right.
So this dork right here is going to tell us a name of somebody,
and then we're going to start with you, Joey,
and you just name any movie that person's been in,
and you just go around in order to Josh, Paul, and then to Trey,
and if you can't think of one at some point, you're out.
Dork?
What's your real name?
John.
John, okay. I wish you didn't say the tiebreaker. Why? Because it gave your real name? John. John, okay.
I wish you didn't say the tiebreaker.
Why? Because it gave them four answers?
Yeah.
Yeah, but they'll need more.
Okay.
It'll be interesting to see if the first four answers are the four ones that I just said out loud.
I don't even remember who the tiebreaker was.
Didn't he just say it?
Yeah he did I'm so off tonight
I apologize
Trey's just thinking about
different kinds of tires
Oh my god
Nevermind
Let's go fuck with some tires man
Sigourney Weaver.
Yeah, yeah.
I got this.
All right, Joey, start us off.
Any movie that's got Sigourney Weaver in it?
Can we use any of the ones that you mentioned?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
We can.
That's what the dork was pointing out.
He came here ready to say Sigourney Weaver
and I fucked up
all of his hopes and dreams.
Northeast
Philadelphia.
So ready, the whole flight,
Sigourney Weaver, Sigourney Weaver.
He got a job in the tire trade business
just so that he would be here
this week.
What's my fastest path to Doug Loves Movies?
The tire trade.
Yeah, so you can
use one of those.
I'll go with Aliens.
Okay.
You said it with a Z.
It was like a hip-hop reboot in 1994.
No, that's what I'm referring to.
The hip-hop reboot.
What do you got, Josh?
Alien.
Well played.
Paul?
Did anybody say alien?
I wanted to keep the theme going.
Alien.
Alien.
Oh, you're not playing this round?
Yeah, I'm not going to play.
Look at the clock.
You can see the clock and I can't.
Yeah, sorry.
Ghostbusters.
Everyone's deep cut.
How do you do it?
Yeah, I know, right?
You were saying you're off your game,
and then you come up with that.
Bombing all show,
but I pulled Ghostbusters out of my ass.
Should have probably saved that one.
You're right.
Joey?
Ghostbusters 2?
Yep.
Yep.
And we play exact titles here,
and in that case, you lucked out because it doesn't have a colon and all that other nonsense at the end.
I don't think any Sigourney Weaver's movies have a colon in them, actually.
Maybe there's some.
Audience, please don't say.
Don't help these guys.
It's just the people on stage.
Josh?
I'm going to go with Avatar, the gift that was given to me previously.
Delightful.
Thank you.
Dave.
It's like you're auditioning for the robot in 2001.
I'm still in the mix.
Dave.
Dave. Trey. Working Girl. Still in the mix? Davey? Davey?
Trey?
Working Girl.
Yes!
She got nominated for Academy Award.
Joey?
I may be totally wrong.
Oh, don't be totally wrong.
We want you to hang in this game.
The Parent Trap?
For many more.
Okay, well, it was nice having you here.
The new one, the new one, though.
Yeah, that was some other lady.
Was that Jamie Lee Curtis?
No.
Okay.
But I don't lose for that.
That's what's important to me.
That was Freaky Friday with Jamie Lee and Lindsay Lohan.
But what, are you are you
sticking to that do you really think she was in that what she no lifelines not
taken no I no no no no I mean the right or wrong I guess I mean I right I mean I
think we all think she's not in it then I'll go with it I'll go with the
consensus sort of like she has sneaky cameo sneaky cameo But who was the mom?
Who was the mom in that?
The mom in that, well
With Lindsay Lohan
Right
Yeah, wasn't it like
Natasha Richardson?
Yeah, I think it was Natasha Richardson
Alright, alright
No, you're right, you're right
Okay
How about I'll stand
Do I stand now or
Shouldn't everybody else be standing?
No, you can stay seated
Shouldn't everybody else be standing?
Shouldn't everybody else be standing? Should, you can stay seated. Should everybody else be standing? Shouldn't everybody else be standing?
Should I continue to say while the
others stand?
No, you should all be stanting-ing, whatever that means.
You should all be standing. So please lay down
on the ground.
Under the ground.
Maybe you all
should be in urns. I don't know
what they're doing with his remains.
I mean, I'd prefer an urn if we're asking.
Okay, I'm good.
Okay, Josh, we've got one man out.
I'm in bad shape here.
I'm going to throw a Hail Mary.
And did she have a cameo in the new Ghostbusters,
which was just called Ghostbusters?
I think she did.
Yes, you're still in.
Thank you.
Nice throw.
Nice one.
Thank you.
Paul.
Alien Resurrection!
Alien Resurrection!
From the University of North Carolina.
Paul F. Tompkins.
That's not right.
I got nothing.
I'm out. Yeah, pretty sure she's never been in Paul F. Tompkins. That's not right. I got nothing. I'm out.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
he's never been in
Paul F. Tompkins.
I don't know.
I'll never tell.
All right.
We got two players left.
Paul?
Isn't it?
Wait, what?
Mr. Gondelman?
That's my...
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
I've passed this test.
Paul has to say two for every one of yours,
just to keep it fair.
I think I have to gracefully bow out
before I make a hazard and embarrass him.
He goes, okay, fine.
You guys just want me to say a movie
and then you laugh at me? I know your tricks,
audience.
Oh, she was in that one. Okay.
Where she's all like,
meh.
But imagine
if I got it right.
Gosh, I'm so bad at this.
That's okay.
We're running out of time anyway.
I will say,
no, I can't do it.
Say something that's got a lot of people in it.
Oh yeah, that's a good one.
You know, like JFK is always a fun one.
Yep.
Mother's Day.
See, she could be in that.
Thank you.
She's not.
Yeah.
But she could have been.
She could have been.
But she wasn't.
Can I say one?
She could have played the Jason Sudeikis role in that movie.
Paul, I mean, you're the last man Stanton, but please give us as many more as you have.
Film fans, you're going to love this.
Annie Hall.
Yeah, she's like his date at the movie theater at the end or some shit.
No one gave a shit.
I thought that would be impressive.
They were like, yeah, that's like the most boring film trivia.
She was in a thing called Copycat with Holly Hunter.
Yeah, yeah.
And Harry Connick Jr.
What else did we miss, you guys?
Galaxy Quest.
Galaxy Quest.
That's a great one.
Cabin in the Woods is a great one.
She shows up at the end.
Paul, the alien movie.
Oh, shit.
Chappy.
Chappy? Is it Chappy? Is it Chappy? Holy the alien movie? Oh, shit. Chappie. Chappie?
No, isn't it Chappie?
Chappie?
Holy shit.
Just a bunch of shit.
Just a bunch of shit.
Is Sigourney Weaver
in Die Antwoord?
She's the drummer
in Die Antwoord.
Oh, Heartbreakers
with Gene Hackman. Oh, sure. Oh, sure with Gene Hackman.
Oh, sure.
Oh, sure.
Gene Hackman's in that.
It's funny to think about, isn't it?
Gene Hackman in Heartbreakers.
She's also in my specifically edited version,
Heartbreakers without Gene Hackman.
I cut all the Gene Hackman scenes out.
He ruined the film for me.
It's a long-ass movie,
so it's probably still be feature length.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
was when she was a thing.
Before she started talking to horses.
No, ghosts.
I also thought it was horses.
And then I knew it wasn't, but I almost said it.
Yeah, Ghost Whisperer is a play on Horse Whisperer.
That's what's so fun about that.
No one else ever had the balls to do a play on Horse Whisperer.
They're the only one.
They're like, yeah.
We're just going to take half of your name. There They're gonna be whisperers. We're just gonna take half of your name.
They're gonna be whisperers in any field.
Exactly.
They were thinking about calling Field of Dreams
Corn Whisperer.
Well, that means that Paul F. Tompkins
is our winner tonight.
All these prizes go,
the guy gets his phone back and all this stuff.
Oh, look at the dog on the clock screen.
It's a good dog, Aaron.
You want to try to collect all this stuff?
Good luck.
Yeah.
I have another plastic bag if you need one.
Oh, okay. I have another plastic bag if you need one. Oh, okay.
I have another backpack filled with heavy books and albums.
That's not gonna
fit.
He's doing
great. Oh my god.
We should have you around for the
holiday. Wow!
Cleaned it up in seconds.
He knows how to pack up and go.
Oh, Aaron, do you want the...
Whoa.
I saw that ball just rolling across the stage.
I was like, why is that happening?
That was like a scene from The Rock.
Yeah, Stanley Goodspeed almost
went diving in to try to catch it before
it went off the stage. Aaron
is letting you keep that album.
You want me to sign
that for you? I wish you would, Trent.
Alright.
As Richard Nixon. We gotta let you
take that. No, sign it as the guy
who played that.
I can't wait to come to your next,
one of your infamous dance parties.
He'll have some great Nixon remixes going.
That's right.
It's gonna be fantastic.
Remixing Nixon.
Yeah.
It's not anything.
It's not nothing.
If you're not remixing Nixon,
this party could use some fixing. If you're not remixing Nixon This party could use some fixing
If you're not remixing
Classic dead milkman
Dead milkman
What?
I paraphrased dead milkman
Oh the dead milkman
And he's wearing it on his shirt
That guy yelled it out
Right dork Philly
Tires Trey what do you got to you got you trying to steal my you, can people come see you
somewhere in New York?
Uh,
yeah,
I got a monthly show
at the Creek in the Cave
over in Long Island City,
the third Tuesday of every month.
So check that out.
And then I'm going back down
to Austin,
November 10th and 11th
at the Velveeta Room,
which is one of my favorite places
to tell jokes at.
It's fucking awesome.
Uh,
so yeah,
that's it.
What's your,
uh,
name taggy? Oh, here it is. Give me that back for the, uh, that's it. What's your name taggy?
Oh, here it is.
Give me that back for the close of the show.
Yeah, okay, take the weed.
That's cool.
Joey's movie, Big Bear.
Yep.
Thank God we all know about where it takes place
and that it might have a bear in it.
And it's opening this Friday.
It's opening this Friday at a theater near you,
if you're near one of the theaters that it's playing in.
It's also on VOD and iTunes.
Yeah, so grab it somehow, you guys, and watch it.
Also on a TV show.
I could plug that.
Sure.
It's called Good Behavior.
It's on TNT.
All right.
Yeah. And my wife is pregnant, and she's...
Come on, you guys.
He's just trying to talk about...
He's just trying to plug what she's up to.
Anyway, I'm sorry.
What were you saying?
My wife.
What were you saying?
My wife! What were you saying? My wife!
Duh.
She's going to have a baby in January.
You guys are all invited.
It's going to be at the end.
Oh!
Congratulations!
To show up at the hospital with one baby invitation
scrawled on a piece of paper.
To show up at the hospital with one baby invitation scrawled on a piece of paper.
Oh, that's right.
You have to whisper to Aaron where the premiere is.
The London.
The London.
I'm looking right at you.
7 p.m.
I think it's like Sunset and Doheny, I think.
Let's talk after.
You're like the whisper whisperer.
Wait, could you guys hear that?
Thinking really hard into the microphone.
Josh, last week tonight.
Please.
New episode Sunday.
You might show up with fucking a gay cake.
Wait.
Wait, what?
I mean, that's not out of the question.
What else is going on?
I'm going to be out on the road
visiting a bunch of cities in America
in November and December.
Details are on my website, joshgondelman.com.
It's going to be called the Team Wolf Tour,
but there's not a poster.
Thank you.
It's a joke for only that one lady to guess. Imagine if Gene Hackman were the Teen Wolf tour, but there's not a poster. Thank you. It's a joke for only that one lady to guess.
Imagine if Gene Hackman
were the Teen Wolf.
Thanks for being here, dude.
Thank you for having me.
Yeah, it was awesome. As usual.
These other guys, I don't know.
Yeah, thank you.
Paul F. Tompkins.
Josh.
I've got more things to play.
I, of course, have my own podcast, Spontaneanation,
which comes out on Mondays.
And I'm going to be in Brooklyn at the Bell House
November 11th and 12th.
The Saturday we're doing Super Ego,
two shows that Saturday,
and then Sunday, two Spontaneanation Lives.
Tickets are sold out as of this recording,
but people don't manage their time very well.
So if you're going to be in the area
and you're looking for tickets,
chances are you'll have an opportunity
to buy some from someone.
Oh!
Doug, when does this come out?
Tomorrow.
Oh.
Yeah, that's good.
I will be...
I'll be hosting a charity benefit
where we're doing celebrities.
Oh, that's a big show.
It's celebrities playing celebrity.
And that is happening at Largo.
Where's the goddamn date?
It's, oh, Sunday the 24th.
Right?
Does that sound right?
That sounds like a date.
People are nodding like they're confirming that for me.
That's this Sunday, yeah.
That's this coming Sunday, yes.
So that's going to be a lot of great people.
Josh Molina will be there.
Josh Molina is one of the guys who put it together.
Scott Foley, Abigail Spencer, Trisha Helfer, Katie Sackhoff.
All the Battlestar people will be there.
If you want to see space people play celebrity,
then come watch this game.
But it's for a good cause,
and it's going to be a lot of fun.
Very nice.
Thanks, guys.
Thanks for applauding my plugs.
Oh, here, can you pass your name tag down?
Oh, shit.
Josh.
That was worse than the bowling ball fiasco
of three and a half minutes ago.
What?
Okay.
All right.
One more time for all of my guests,
Trey Gallagher, Joey Kern,
Josh Gondelman, and Paul F. Tompkins.
Thank you.
I will see you Wednesday
Austin, Texas
and as always
Dylan McKay is a shithead
okay she liked that
drunk USC students are a shithead
was there an incident?
don't doubt it.
And finally,
Dick Gregory
not being in the
In Memoriam
on the Emmys
is a shithead.
Yes.
Once again,
thanks to our pals
at Loot Crate
for sponsoring today's show.
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So long, everybody!
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies!