Doug Loves Movies - Paul F. Tompkins, Nick Thune, and Samm "The Ma'am" Levine Guest
Episode Date: May 28, 2013Doug welcomes Paul F. Tompkins and returning Leonard Maltin Game winners Nick Thune and Samm "The Ma'am" Levine aka Li'l Wolverine to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy ...and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seats with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey everybody, my name is, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies,
coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles
on Tuesday, May 28th, 2 Oceans 13.
Thank you to everyone who came out to my shows in Nashville
and all the nice folks who work at Zany's Comedy Club.
I will try to come back later this year.
In attendance there in Hashville
was a dude who was in Ernest Scared Stupid
when he was a kid.
So follow at Joey, J-O-E-Y, Koval, K-O-V-A-L on Twitter
if you want to follow someone
who was a kid in Ernest Scared Stupid.
Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
My 8 o'clock
and 10 o'clock shows
this Saturday
at Comedy Bar
are sold out,
but there's a few tickets
remaining for the 420 show,
so snap them up.
Buffalo, New York,
Helium,
also at 420 on Sunday.
Tickets available there.
And I'm very excited
to be doing events
and movie interruption
and an episode of Dining with Doug and Karen
at the Limestone Comedy Festival
in Bloomington.
My mom calls it Bloomies.
Indiana.
June 8th through the 11th.
Let's look in the prize bag, you guys.
I'm so excited about this prize bag
I want to get right to it.
What are these Girl Scout cookies called?
Trefoils?
Trefoils? Treefoils?
Really?
Okay. Whatever they are,
there's a whole box of them
for somebody to enjoy.
A gentleman whose name
I don't know in Nashville
gave me this
family of
tigers desk clock
that
I assume the mama tiger
has a little cub in its
mouth
and
I should have said it at 420
it says 407
but I guess if you put a battery in the back, it'll work.
So that's neat that somebody gave that up.
It might have been the same guy.
Somebody gave me a 2008 Disc Golf World Championships key floaty thing.
Like you put your keys on it, and then your keys will float.
I can't think of too many situations where i would want to be able to do that but uh if you have one and
you win the prizes tonight god bless you um okay we'll talk about that in a second and uh something
else we can talk about oh we can talk about this right now. Nobody from this motion picture is here tonight, but someone brought a
for screening purposes only
DVD
of Halloween.
Oh, we got one of these
Doug Loves Movies
magnetic
thingies
from
Bong Buds. Bud Bongs From Bong Buds.
Bud Bongs?
Bud Bong Buds.
At Bong Buds on Twitter.
And is that everything?
Oh, and there's one more thing in here.
Please, everybody, give a big warm welcome
to returning Leonard Moulton game winners
Nick Thewn and Sam the Ma'am Levine
and challenger Paul F. Tompkins.
Thank you.
Long applause.
That was a good one, yeah. That almost put some pressure on
the entertainment value of this show.
Yeah, okay, sure.
If you say so.
Paul F. Tompkins, everybody.
Hi, everybody.
Okay, that's enough.
That's enough.
No more pressure.
Doug, I haven't been on the show in forever.
Dude, I've missed you so much on the show.
It's nice to be back.
That on more than one occasion,
I called the Werner Herzog Paul.
What?
As you know, I get high before this.
So apologies to him,
and hopefully we'll have him back someday
But it's great to have you back Paul
And you brought a copy of your
DVD
Laboring Under Delusions
That's right produced by Comedy Central
And it's extended and uncensored
That's right
He goes apeshit
That's right I say the word apeshit
That's about as apeshit as I go
I've yet to see a dime from that particular DVD.
Capitalism.
Should we try to sell this copy right now?
No.
Okay.
The free market.
Oh, hello, Sam.
Hi, Paul.
Were you...
Does Comedy Central know you haven't gotten anything?
I think they might be aware.
It's got to be a mix-up.
The accounting department might be having a laugh.
That was Nick Thune speaking,
who won the Leonard Malm game two weeks ago.
I don't know if you can call it a win.
He beat some people.
Aggressively.
Both ladies.
But you brought a bumper sticker that,
of course, your name's Nick Thune,
and a bumper sticker that says,
Coming Thune.
So that's always going to get a laugh.
Now that you're both here, may I ask Nick,
is your name pronounced Thune
or Thune, as Doug pronounces it? Doug has always gone with the Thune. name pronounced Thune or Thune as Doug
pronounces it? Doug has always gone with the Thune.
It is Thune.
But I don't, you know, Jay Leno does it the same way.
Oh. Oh, wow.
Got that. Well, now
it's Thune for me from now
on too then.
I will happily switch to Thune.
And coming Thune makes more
sense than coming Thune.
How does Byron Allen say it?
Byron?
He says, now I hear they call you Nick Thune.
And then I do my
two minute long Nick Thune joke. Now I hear your last
name is spelled T-H-U-N-E.
What's that all about? Guys, guys,
guys, let's not get unleashed.
Let's keep this civilized.
Because Sam the Ma'am Levine,
a.k.a. Lil Wolverine,
is here.
Sam, I valet parked recently
and they gave me my ticket
from United Valet Parking, Inc.
And on the other side
was an advertisement for Do No
Harm. Wow! Yeah, and I cried
that drive. Wow, that is impressive.
Thinking about you and what you went through.
That's alright, man. If you're
if anyone who actually gave a
crap about the show, they will be airing
it on NBC.
Listen to this killer time slot.
Saturday nights, 10pm
starting June 29th. Is that the old Freaks and Geeks slot? Almost! Listen to this killer time slot. Saturday night, 10 p.m.,
starting June 29th throughout the summer.
Is that the old Freaks and Geeks slot?
Almost.
Two hours off.
Same bullshit thing.
Saturday night.
Saturday night was a fucking death sentence
when Freaks and Geeks was on.
And now, poor, poor do no harm.
Well, we've already been murdered.
This is not even a stay of execution.
Why don't they change the title to Harmed?
Yes.
And get rid of this.
What is this about?
Look at this picture.
The guy's got a face on his hands.
It was not the best key art, I'm told, is the industry term for that.
And that shows about how he deals with having a face on his hand?
Yeah, it's like that movie Pan's about how he deals with having a face on his hand? Yeah, it's like that episode, or that movie
Pan's Labyrinth. He's a doctor.
Week after week after week. It's easier to be a surgeon
if you have eyes on your fingers.
You just reach in. What's this about?
But the face on his hands is not a surgeon.
So when he goes in to operate,
the face on his hands is like, eww, gross!
So you guys have already
seen the show then? Yeah. Oh, okay.
Dr. Facehands. Yeah.
Probably would have been more successful if they called it that.
Now, Sam, do you worry that you might be a jinx for these TV shows?
Worry is not the word.
Convinced is the word.
I don't often talk about this in spite of the pleading of my management and family,
but the amount of shows that I have appeared on
in a guest-starring capacity
that have been canceled that season
is staggering.
200.
Well, you might be stunned to learn
that I just found out today that this show is over.
Oh, no!
Yeah, we're not going to do it anymore.
Oh, I did it again. Son of a bitch. You fucking did it again. Oh, no! Yeah, we're not gonna do it anymore. Oh, I did it again, son of a bitch.
You fucking did it again.
Oh, well, the streak continues.
Must have been tough when you found out. It was tough.
You brought the cookies? I brought the cookies.
And the Halloween. And Halloween.
Because first I want you to get scared,
and then I want you to eat your fear.
So you... Movie first, then.
Start the movie
20 minutes
Eat the entire box of
Trifoils
As I have done
But why do you have
A copy of the original
Halloween that says
Screening purposes only
Like why did
You need to review it
Because
A year or two ago
Someone asked me
To participate in a documentary
About horror movies
Oh okay
I thought they asked
you to visit the Time Travel Awards.
Yes, they did.
When Halloween was first on DVD back
in the late 70s.
Well, that's
in there, you guys.
That also qualifies as a Doug Dixit. That's one of my
favorite horror films.
Sam, congratulations. Thank you.
We matched. I've never seen Doug Dixit given out live in front of me before. It my god. Sam, congratulations. Thank you. We matched. I've never seen
Doug Dixit given out live in front of me
before. It's exciting.
And
of course I'm going to put the do no harm
ticket in here as well. Yeah.
That is a collector's item.
That's just a way to live.
Do no harm. How are you going to get your car back?
Don't you need that to get your car
back? And they get your car back? Don't you need that to get your car back?
And they get his car.
I did that happen weeks ago,
and I'm pretty sure I got my car back.
How did you, though?
This is like a heist.
You know, sometimes they let you keep the ticket.
Was that a conversation you guys had?
Did you ask the guy?
No.
It was a conversation I had with myself
when I woke up
the next day
after being blackout drunk
going,
why do I have
a do no harm?
Just like Dr. Facehands
himself!
Similar.
Similar situation.
You,
have you actually
watched any of the show
or do you just know
that you've seen it?
All of it!
That's not a tall order.
There's only two hours
possible that you could have seen. That's not a tall order. There's only two hours possible
that you could have seen. My favorite episode is
probably when
Dr. Facehands and his
facehands do the classic
who's on first routine.
We fought the network
so hard
to get that out there. I bet you fought them
face and hands.
We did, Paul.
You nailed it.
Have you been to the cinema lately, fellas?
Any of you?
Yes.
Perfect.
Let's start with Nick.
What did you see?
I went to Mud.
A few people out there went to it, yeah.
McConaughey's killing it, as far as I'm concerned.
That guy's done some good performances.
He's his generation's Paul Newman.
Okay.
Wait a second.
A little premature on that, but sure.
The people who louder that, do they get that as a reference?
He was called that like 10 years ago by, I want to say, like GQ or Esquire.
Why can't you people get that?
No, I think they did.
I think it was you who did not get it.
Some magazine a while back said a thing.
Come on!
It was like when Gretchen Wall was the next It Girl.
It was a bit premature when the press called it out a decade ago.
That's what I was referencing.
They actually had that.
I think there were people who got that.
And then Tim Curry got cast in It.
That's Pennywise. I think there were people who got that. And then Tim Curry got cast in It.
That's Pennywise.
What? Mud is good, right?
Yeah, it was good.
Slow paced?
Feel good.
Good actors.
Yeah.
Good actors in it, yeah.
What's the guy's name? I'm trying to remember who is in the HBO show with Weird Face.
What?
Michael Shannon? Yes, Michael Shannon. Thank you Weird Face. What? Michael Shannon?
Yes, Michael Shannon.
Thank you very much.
Really?
That was all I needed.
Boardwalk Empire?
That was all I needed.
Boardwalk Empire is the HBO show with Weird Face.
I don't even watch Boardwalk Empire.
How do they not cast Weird Face in Dr. Face?
Two on the nose.
Why'd that handsome guy get the part?
He's good in Boardwalk Empire, and he's good in this.
He's good at playing an apathetic uncle who's just trying to be a good guy,
which I think is a different role for him.
He's an apathetic uncle who's just trying to be a good guy? Yeah. It sounds like he's failing as an apathetic uncle who's just trying to be a good guy?
Yeah
It sounds like he's failing as an apathetic uncle
It comes through in the likability of him, I think
and being affable
You know what?
You're pretty affable yourself, Nick
And mud spelled backwards is dumb
Paul, what have you seen lately?
I saw the first 10 minutes of Gangster Squad
On a plane? Were you on a plane?
No, no, no, we rented it
My wife and I rented it
Oh, and that was the give up time? 10 minutes?
Yeah, yeah
Why? Because everyone was like, listen, see?
It was just, it was terrible
They're all talking, but they're all pretending to be gangsters, right?
No, it was just stupid
It was a stupid movie
And everybody's pretending to be gangsters It was a stupid movie. And everybody's pretending to be gangsters.
It was terrible.
And then I saw the first hour of Jack Reacher on the plane.
Why'd you give up on that?
The plane landed?
The plane landed.
And they wouldn't let you stay on.
Do you want to see the rest of it?
They would not let me stay on the plane to watch the second hour.
Can I just sit here and finish this movie that I paid for?
We bought a zoo, Cincinnati.
Cincinnati, you
owe me the rest if we bought a zoo.
I'm sure I probably...
Okay.
Nanny Diaries, Washington, D.C.
Uh...
Are you gonna catch up with the rest of Jack Reacher?
Or are you good?
I think probably when it's on cable.
Yeah, okay.
So hopefully I'll retain months from now
what I saw of the first half of the movie.
There's some good stuff in there.
When Tom Cruise is explaining to people
what he's going to do to them,
and then they're all just laughing, and then he does it to them,
it's pretty satisfying.
Yes, that stuff is great, but it's joined together by a web of not so great.
Yeah, the plot is, what is going on?
Well, who is he and who cares?
You know what I mean?
He's just identified as Jack Reacher, the end,
as if everyone knows what that means.
Yeah, he's Jack Reacher.
They don't know who's Jack Reacher, and then they meet him, and they're like, all right, this Jack Reacher guy, means. He's Jack Reacher. They don't know who's Jack Reacher and then they meet him and they're like,
alright, this Jack Reacher guy,
he's a real Jack Reacher.
We get it. He's not lying about that.
His name is such a fatal flaw
whenever anybody's going, Reacher!
You realize just how made up
it is. That's not a surname
that exists.
Action Man! Get in exists. Action Man!
Get in here, Action Man!
How many times do you think they said
Reacher in just the hour you saw?
40.
His name does come up a lot.
A lot of times by him.
In a mirror scene.
My dad said the novel...
Get it together, Reacher!
Before he goes out.
And of course Adele sings his name a bunch of times
in the theme song. That's right.
That's nice. How did that go, Paul?
Yeah, creature!
More like Shirley Bess.
She was great on the Oscars. Sam.
Yes, sir. What have you seen? I saw
the Star Trek feature, the new one.
Oh, I saw that too.
The woos are correct.
That was a sensational film.
Yeah.
I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Even without the colon in the title, you were fine with it?
Even without the colon.
You know I prefer all my movies with colons.
Who doesn't?
The enjoyment of the movie for me was overshadowed by my breaking of a tooth on an unpopped corn
cone.
Oh, no. Yes. Oh, no!
Yes.
Oh, Paul!
Yeah.
I'm so sorry that that's your takeaway from that movie.
Guys, I'm operating with a temporary crown.
Whoa.
No one go near Paul.
Always with your excuses about how the Leonard Maltin game is gonna go.
And then on pay-per-view,
I watched The Last Stand and Side Effects.
Explain to me what pay-per-view is.
Is that like demand?
You get a paper and you read it?
On demand?
Was this closed circuit television?
I was at the racetrack.
CCTV?
I was at an OTB.
OTB for movies?
OTB for movies?
I've completely forgot what movie you said you saw. Yes.
What was it?
Side effects and the last stand.
Oh, okay.
The Soderbergh picture and the Schwarzenegger Knox film.
Yeah, let me just say to anyone who's listening
who hasn't seen either,
keep living the way you have been.
Don't change anything.
You're on the right track.
Side effects, didn't you think it was rather pointless?
No, I liked it.
It was pretty good.
It was all right.
It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen.
You want to work with Soderbergh, but he's retired, so just fucking say it.
It's bullshit.
No, he's had worse.
Yeah, okay.
All right, that's enough.
Don't go any further, Sam.
Okay.
Watch your career.
And what was the other one?
Last stand was just awful
like unbelievably
like
Paul F. Tompkins
and I interrupted it
over at Cinefamily
that's right
but it kept on going
yeah it kept going
it wouldn't stop
no matter how much
shit we talked
wouldn't take a hint
that movie
but Luis Guzman
normally I don't like
talking over the dialogue
but Luis Guzman
every time he appeared
in the film
Paul would do his voice instead so he would, but Luis Guzman, every time he appeared in the film, Paul would do his voice
so he would talk over
Luis Guzman in Luis Guzman
voice, and it didn't matter that
we didn't know what he was saying. That's how
inconsequential his part was
through the entire film. How did it go,
Paul? I also was not using
words. Whenever
Luis Guzman would start to speak,
I would go...
And it played fine.
It played exactly like...
That's what his role is, is to come in and be stupid
and make a bunch of noise.
Oh, I thought you meant me.
Yes. Can I say this about
Star Trek? Please.
That scene where they get the lady to take her clothes off for zero reasons, right?
Well, I mean, obviously, we all know the reason.
There's a reason.
They don't come up with a reason that doesn't concern the moviegoer.
That she says, turn around, and then Captain Kirk, our hero, right?
He turns and sees that she's got her clothes off,
and he just stands there staring at her
like the worst creep in the world, right?
No, he's a lovable scamp, Paul.
That crosses the line, I think,
when she says, turn around, and he doesn't,
and he's just staring at her.
It's not fun.
Isn't that step one of seduction?
No, stare like a creep?
No means yes?
Absolutely.
Let's be honest, Paul.
She could have stepped outside the capsule to change.
She wanted him to look.
I don't know why you're bringing logic into this, Paul.
No, JJ Abrams has caught some flack for that scene. And right, J.J. Abrams and has caught
some flack
for that scene.
And rightfully so.
And they have
apologized and said
gratuitous,
unnecessary,
underwear showing
will not happen again.
I was so thrilled
something sexy
happened in that movie.
Most of the movie
is like people running
and yelling about
what they're doing.
You don't enjoy
the red hot relationship
between Spock
and Uhura?
Was there any side poop? That is weird.
I don't think so.
I want to see...
He does his side boob Sundays.
I want to see
Francis Ha. I think that
looks appealing to me.
Have you guys seen that? Oh, yeah. Who directed this?
Noah Baumbach.
What is it all about?
It's Greta Gerwig.
I co-wrote it with him
and stars as Francis Ha.
Greta Gerwig and the Angry Inch.
Her last name is Ha?
Mm-hmm.
Because Richard was already taken.
Sequel to his previous movie,
Oh, Greenberg.
That's what I call it.
Oh, Greenberg.
But I liked
The Fish and the Whale.
Squid and the Whale. I thought that was and the whale. Squid and the whale.
I thought that was a great movie.
Would you order it at a sushi restaurant?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Let the games begin!
Gentlemen!
Gentlemen, please pick your name tags
from this dazzling array
of three or four people have your name tags from this dazzling array of...
Three or four people have brought name tags.
They're all sitting in the back.
I see a copy of Crap Kingdom.
Crap Kingdom by D.C. Pearson.
I see, I can't tell what you're holding,
but I know that your shirt says,
I'm fat, let's party.
And your shorts are saying the same thing.
Okay.
Nick Thune.
Not Thune.
He's picked his name. No, all right.
It's not McEuchie either.
So hold this up, Nick, and tell me who you're playing for here.
I am playing for Morgan, and it is a LP of Masters of the Universe.
Ooh, okay.
And it might have a shithead on the back.
I don't think so, but...
It probably shouldn't look, right?
Well, you can look at it.
Just don't share it.
Just don't tell anybody.
I don't think it has one.
Paul, who are you playing for?
Doug... What did he say? Just don't share it. Just don't tell anybody. I don't think it has one. Paul, who are you playing for? Doug.
What did he say?
He said back of the name tag.
Is that Morgan?
Back of the...
Oh, you got to pull that thing out from in there.
Okay.
All right, we'll work that out.
We've got plenty of time.
Paul?
Doug, I'm playing for Natasha.
Okay.
And she's got a torn piece of paper bag as her name tag.
Sam, the man?
I'm playing for, I assume it's Al.
Al?
You can call him Al.
He's a Cubs fan
and it is a six pack of red stripe
which he has cleverly written after red
either violin or dragon.
I guess he's playing his own little build-a-time.
Do you know what you look like right now?
You look like Horatio Sanz lost some height.
That's what I've been going for.
You finally noticed.
Do you ever...
I'm sorry, I could not help myself when I thought of that.
You're not the first person to say that.
That's what you look like.
Sam, do you ever, when you grow the beard,
do you ever shave the mustache and the chin
and go for the Wolverine?
Full Wolverine?
Yeah.
Well, if we ever get the...
Full Verine?
Full Verine.
If Doug ever gets the ultimate tournament
of championships together, I may very well...
Oh, that'll be so great if you show up.
You've got to, with the hair and everything?
Full Verine.
I'll do the whole thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, with the hair ears.
Because why not?
Why not indeed?
Because then when I lose,
it will be the saddest drive home.
At the very least, show up Ben Vereen.
Yeah.
So how do we decide?
I think we should let Paul F. Tompkins go first.
I'm fine with that.
I know I normally let the most recent winner go first,
but we have two winners here tonight.
I'm wearing a tie, so I outrank everyone on the panel.
That's fair.
I agree. I concur. And then we'll go to Nick, on the panel. That's fair. I agree.
I concur.
And then we'll go to Nick, and then we'll go to Sam.
Sounds good.
That seems...
I like this plan.
Paul, would you like to play Paige, P-A-I-G-E?
She jumped in there on Twitter and got just her first name.
I heard!
She suggests
The Rice Storm
Which is movies that have
Movies that have a wedding in them
Oh, listen to you
What?
Are you going to guess each time?
Let's see
Because this is kind of fun
Let's see
Alright
Mean Laquifa suggested
Random Acts of Blindness
What's that category? Queefa suggested random acts of blindness.
What's that category?
That is movies where the lights go out.
Ray Charles appears.
Sure.
And at Kete00 suggested What's in the Box?
What's that?
That smoothie.
This is a fun game in itself, Doug. That feature.
Someone's head.
Someone moving.
Gwyneth Paltrow is pregnant.
Oh, no.
How could you?
Which one would you like, Paul?
I'm gonna go with...
Use words. Please use words.
Random acts of blindness, please.
Okay, Ray Charles is in this movie.
The year is 1980.
Three stars from Leonard.
He calls it engagingly nutty
and he says that it was followed by a sequel
and he lists
13 names
how many names did you get in this
1980 movie
I can get
that movie in
how many names does he list?
13.
I'm going to say 10.
Okay.
Nick Thune.
I can get that movie in...
9.
11.
Sam. I can name. Sam.
I can name that movie
in negative two.
Oh, I hate you so much.
I know.
I can't believe it got to me.
Well, people were being cautious.
I guess.
Yeah. Check out my heart. I guess. Yeah.
Should I call it my heart?
I'll try negative three.
Sam.
See, this is where it's aggravating.
You're boxed out, buddy.
This is where it's aggravating.
Yep.
Just hang out over there.
See which one of these guys gets the point
Nick
Can you go negative four or more
I'm gonna have to say negative four
Hey Nick name that movie
I apologize
Sam for assuming that
That was the end of the road
And that it wouldn't come back to you
Okay so You're gonna have to name this motion picture assuming that that was the end of the road and that it wouldn't come back to you.
Okay, so you're going to have to name this motion picture
and the top four billed people
in the correct order.
And then Sam will get the point.
Okay.
What's the movie called?
It's called
The Blues Brothers maybe
and then who are the top four
people in order?
Dan Aykroyd
maybe
Belushi
possibly
this is where I'm gonna
fucking lose
let me say the trouble you've already lost it's John Belushi then Dan Aykroyd This is where I'm going to fucking lose.
Let me say the trouble you've already lost.
It's John Belushi, then Dan Aykroyd,
then the Blues Brothers Band.
I was going to say Aretha Franklin.
And then Cab Calloway.
Wow.
Cab Calloway.
Belushi had a better agent.
Yeah.
Mene the Mucha.
So that is a point for Sam Levine.
This is one of those cases... But this is one of those cases where
this is Leonard's credit order
as opposed to the movie's credit order.
Because I don't recall the Blues Brothers band
in the opening credits.
I don't believe it says that on the screen
in the opening credits.
And in the end credits,
they list all the band members individually.
But in this game, that's the fun of it,
is figuring out how Leonard would rank the cast.
Tom Bones Malone.
Matt Guitar Murphy very nice
is that it
I think also Murphy Dunn
the guy who replaced Paul Schaefer
Murphy Duck Dunn
no
Donald Duck
I already said Donald Duck Dunn
that's how we started
two people can have
the last name Dunn
this game is Dunn
Dominic Duck Dunn
Dominic Duck Dunn Griffin Dun name Dunn. This game is Dunn. Dominic Duck Dunn.
Dominic Duck Dunn.
Griffin Dunn Dunn.
Dominique Duck Dunn, RIP.
What year?
So Sam challenged Nick,
so we're going to start with Paul again.
And from Paul,
we'll go to Sam.
All right.
Paul gets to pick
between these
three categories.
B-U-O-F-E
on Twitter suggested
Afterbirth.
And that's Will Smith movies
that he made after Jaden Smith
was born.
That Jaden Smith is not necessarily
in. Not necessarily.
Just in the timeline of Will Smith.
Yes. These take place.
Just to clarify, Jaden Smith was born in
1998. Oh, that's a huge hint
there. Yeah.
At Le
Steverman suggested
you have my permission to die
and that's films in which an actor who has played Batman dies.
So of course that narrows it down to Adam West, Michael Keaton,
Val Kilmer, Christian Bale, and George Clooney.
That small list of films they have collectively made.
Those guys have died in other movies.
And at JLCristian24
suggested
turtlenecking, which is
Diane Keaton rom-coms.
Wow.
Which one of those do you want to play, Paul?
Hold on a second.
What did Siri say?
Who's talking to Siri over there?
I can't put my phone to my face without Siri going,
hey, what's up?
Oh, Clay.
The shape of my face sets off Siri.
You need to get that mole checked.
I'll just switch sides.
I'll switch sides.
Does your bowl have irregular borders
and does it activate voice recognition software?
Will Smith, Batman, Guys Die, or Diane Keaton?
I'm going to go for turtlenecking.
It's too good, right?
It is. This movie
that's a Diane Keaton rom-com is from
2003. Leonard Maltin
gives it three stars.
He says that this movie
is
has delightful performances.
Thank you.
He also says that it was written by
the director.
Stay through the credits to hear a rendition of La Vie en Rose.
No, I'm good.
I want to give you more clues.
And then there's eight names listed.
We'll start out with seven names
Sam
zero names
it's not a question
zero names
Nick
well I know who the director and writer is
but I don't know which one of the movies it is
oh interesting I don't know which one of the movies it is. Oh, interesting.
God, I'm going to...
I don't know what to do with that.
Yeah.
Can we go by that?
You know what?
I'm going to take your word for it and give you the point.
Thank you, guys.
You're welcome.
Did you say name it? You're telling him to name it?
You're telling him to name it?
Again, very easily I could be wrong.
There's too many of these, but is it something's gotta give?
The things you say
before you say what you know is the correct answer.
I don't know that it's correct.
Enrage me! It enrages me!
You are the winner.
Sam is the winner, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm sorry.
Something's gotta give.
Nancy Meyer?
Nancy Meyer.
Yeah.
What were you thinking, Nick?
I just couldn't remember the name of the movie.
I couldn't either.
I knew it was Nancy Meyer, though.
Yeah, it was very generically named.
It took me a second to remember the name of that movie.
I didn't think I was going to come up with it.
Thank you for your candor.
Wow.
What I'm saying is
it's forgettable.
Son of a bitch.
I was not talking
about the game.
It is a forgettable title
that only super geniuses
can remember.
And they can only remember it
at the last minute.
Do what to you again?
Paint me as some real piece of shit right there.
No way.
No way.
It's happening for the last time.
I did not have my shit brush out at all.
No.
I was making a comment that it is a forgettable title of a feature.
That's it.
That's my comment.
You're right about that.
But you pulled it out right at the last second.
No, Paul. No, Paul!
No, Paul!
I will not follow you down this road.
The road of no points?
The road of no points. No, Paul and I are just having
a great time. Oh, come on!
We got a few minutes left. Let's just all
let's just each take
a turn and say what we like
and what we don't like about Sam.
Finally.
It'd be so much nicer to hear you guys do it than the fuckheads on Twitter.
Oh, well, you know, those people, they're anonymous.
Do they send it to you directly?
Do they say mean things to you directly?
Sometimes they do.
Sometimes you search for your own name on Twitter?
Sometimes people will send me tweets that they have seen.
That are not directed at you, but are about you?
No, but are about me, yes.
So that first asshole didn't write at Sam Levine.
He just said your name and then some other dick.
Make sure you see that.
Well, yes.
That is some bullshit, Sam.
Because now I understand why you are the way you are.
Oh, thank you, Doug.
That's not at all demeaning.
Fuck.
Yes.
I agree with this.
Yes, that is...
It's a good shit hit.
I am getting...
Oh, that's a pretty good one.
I have mixed feelings about that one.
I think we all do.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
But anyway, Sam,
we have fun at your expense.
We have fun here at Doug Loves Movies.
And the only reason
we can't have fun at your expense is because you
provide us plenty of ammunition.
I really do.
Paul, I even said to him backstage,
I'm going to be good this time.
What does that mean, though?
I'm not going to let anyone goad me.
But I let you get to me again
The both of you
It's alright
Jordan, you and I, let's go get a drink after this
I want to spill, I want to spill about some stuff
First thing you do
Is you put that baseball in his mouth
Then you get some masking tape
But now Sam, you contend that Then you get some masking tape.
But now, Sam, you contend that when you say, I'm going to be good this time,
what you're saying is,
I'm not going to let you other people
make me into a bad person.
Well, hang on.
No, what I was saying was,
I will not take the game
as seriously as I have done in the past.
And I don't believe that I did that.
I believe I was very fair.
This was a very light outing for you.
You took it down in two rounds
and had a little explanation
for how smart you are each time.
No, no!
You son of a bitch, no.
See, this is what I won't let get to me.
No.
You're on your own with that, Doug.
Are you super smart in other categories?
Like, would you be good on Jeopardy?
Or is it mostly just movie trivia that you know?
I'm okay on Jeopardy.
I mean, I watch Jeopardy regularly.
I enjoy it.
But I don't know that I'm...
I don't think I'm, like, Jeopardy champion.
Right, you couldn't take on Ken Jennings?
No, sir.
But what about in Leonard Moulton?
Yes.
Set that shit up, Doug.
I would like to see that happen.
He lives in the Pacific Northwest,
so it's hard to get him to come down here.
Oh, we can get him down here.
He's good at the game, though.
He is very good at it.
He is very good at it.
Tell him we kidnapped his children or something.
We'll get him down here.
He's in the next tournament.
Yeah.
Do you guys have any plugs? Do you want to plug anything?
Starting with Nick Thune.
I'll be at Hilarity's in Cleveland.
Holding for plane.
It's like that Led Zeppelin song.
That is a loud plane. Just leave it on.
Plane clear.
I'm going to be at Hilarity's in Cleveland
the 6th through the 9th
and Acme in Minneapolis
the 20th-ish.
Around there, those days.
And then I'm taping my special in Brooklyn.
What are you going to be doing at Acme?
Those days.
At Acme those days, around the 20th.
The 20th through the 29th.
What are you going to be doing there?
Helping them with their various products
that they sell to coyotes?
Yeah.
Let me just take care of that.
And aren't you going to be on a cruise in the fall?
Oh, yeah, a cruise in the fall,
which is like September 13th-ish.
And what's it called?
It's called Maximum Fun Cruise.
Maximum Fun Cruise, yeah. With Jesse Thorne, and I guess Marin's going to be on it,
Eugene Merman.
Yep, yep.
And Mark.
Maria Bamford.
Tig.
All the people you'd expect to see on a boat
all boat people
it really is like anti-boat folks
but
it should be a lot of fun
a documentary that I'm releasing called Disarmed
which is about my road to recovery
back to the stage after breaking my arm
inspired by Bo Jackson
after breaking my arm.
Inspired by Bo Jackson.
Sounds quite moving.
Bo knows documentaries.
The trailer's online.
The tailor's online as well.
Yeah, go there for all your trailer or tailoring needs. My tailor's online right now.
We're doing a Snapchat back and forth.
Paul, what do you got coming up?
I'm going to be returning to London, to the Soho Theater.
Hooray!
Such a successful first run there.
It was a successful first run.
I'm going back, bringing my show, Crying and Driving, back to the Soho Theater.
I believe it's July 8th through the 13th.
Tickets are on sale now.
PaulFTompkins.com forward slash live.
Do not put a backslash in there.
I will not be held responsible.
Yeah, I say backslash when it's just slash or forward slash,
and I've been told, it's been explained to me a few times.
Have you got a lot of backslash out of that?
Yes.
I was solid, you guys.
Maybe
you couldn't hear him.
That'd be a treat
for the listener. Sam,
who were you playing for? You were playing for Dragon?
I was playing for Al.
Bye, Al.
You're not going to drink that beer?
I'm not going to drink the beer, so no, I have to drive immediately, and I'm a lightweight.
So I guess he could take his beer back, along with the prizes.
Can you come grab your prizes?
Not that you asked me to plug anything, but remember, set your DVRs if you care at all.
There's no chance of bringing the show back, so really, this is just so you can see it If you're at all interested
Do no harm, Saturday night starting June 29th
On NBC, 10 o'clock
Nicely undersold
And Kevin Pollak's chat show every Sunday
Bordering on reverse psychology
You guys won't like it
Don't even bother
I just
I don't want anyone to feel misled by me.
Do you have any plugs, Sam?
Not anymore.
DouglasMovies.com is where you can go
for all of my stuff and things.
And Sam...
Yes, sir?
Can you join us here again in two weeks?
Would two weeks from now be June
11th? Let's call it that.
I cannot.
Three weeks. Yes. Alright.
So that gives us all something to look forward to.
And I will
find the greatest players
that have ever lived of the Leonard Maltin
game and bring them against you. That's great.
In three weeks time. I love a good game.
Paul, yes, question?
What happens next week, Doug?
I've got a special
standalone show where I
can't invite the winner from tonight to come
back because it's already booked with
I understand.
Thank you to Sam Levine,
Paul F. Hopkins, and Nick Stoon.
And as always,
Amanda Bynes is a shithead.
And One Direction is a shithead.
Now it's time we're done to watch another talkie. eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky
there's no room in his heart for you