Doug Loves Movies - Paul F. Tompkins, Thomas Middleditch and Adam Nee guest
Episode Date: July 12, 2016Live from the UCB Sunset, Doug welcomes Paul F. Tompkins, Thomas Middleditch and Adam Nee to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https:...//art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
But Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
I fucked up.
Can we try it again?
Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love Slurpees.
This is Doug Loves Slurpees.
Happy 7-Eleven day, everybody.
We're coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater,
sunset location in Los Angeles, California, on Monday, July 11th, 2016.
Name tags much?
Oh, very much.
We've got, is this your last show, Nate?
Yeah.
Last show that Nate is attending, so if his name tag does not get picked, I'm going to stomp on it.
Wait, can't I stomp on it either way?
Yeah.
Okay.
Brandy Man.
And your name is Brandy?
Yes.
Man?
Yes.
That's cool, dude.
Van Camp's Donuts?
You just brought a box of donuts?
You didn't add anything to it?
It even looks like you're chewing.
Are you eating one of the donuts?
You're bribing us with donuts
not full?
He's not going to answer any of those questions.
But at least you're sitting
next to somebody who knows how this works
and has a sign that says Tomstoned and he crossed out the B in tombstone and added a D at the end.
Very clever, very good work.
Thank you to everybody, everybody who bought name tags.
This weekend, Doug plugs, this weekend I'm doing shows at the Pemberton Music Festival
in Pemberton, BC, Canada.
And then,
Monday night
here in Los Angeles, we're doing a Benson
movie interruption of Purple
Rain, which will be a very respectful
interruption.
I know people are tender
about it.
Next week I'll be at Comic-Con
in San Diego, and the week after that
Traverse City Film Festival
Traverse City, Michigan.
Douglovesmovies.com for dates, deets, and what have yous.
Now it's time for
Tweet Relief.
Tweets about movies.
Our friend Larry Zerner, star of
Friday the 13th 3
3D
Yeah, that's the correct title he tweeted everybody chill
out about the new Ghostbusters your childhood was already ruined by Indiana
Jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull this has been tree reliefs
skull-bashing edition I got a prize bag here, you guys.
Do you want to know what's in it?
Me too.
I'm very curious about the contents.
I actually don't know entirely what's in it.
I do know that I'm giving up something
that's a very cherished possession of mine,
but for some reason I just felt like
I'd probably never wear it,
and it shouldn't just live in a drawer.
It's a very beautiful
Nightmare Before Christmas tie. Yeah, look at that shit. wear it and it shouldn't just live in a drawer it's a very beautiful nightmare
before Christmas time yeah look at that shit
pipe from peacemaker some CDs one of my CDs hypocritical oath but also Roland Gift remember him?
He was in that band
and they had a lot of his singles
She drives me crazy
That guy, Roland Gift
He went solo
It seemed to work out pretty good
He made his way onto Doug Love's movies
This is another cool thing
I found that I'm having trouble parting with,
but I'm really trying to just not have material possessions anymore.
And it's from back when it was originally released,
a Back to the Future button that says,
on July 19th, I'm going back to the future.
So I guess that's the original release date was July 19th.
I saw it at the Cinerama Dome.
And you've heard me talk about it.
And now there's one in the prize bag, you guys.
It's a fucking loot crate.
And I haven't opened it yet.
I'm going to unbox this before your very eyes.
Now, I hope that from a promotional standpoint they didn't
send me next month's but they sent me last month's or an old one or I don't
know what it is. I also did not look think ahead that it'd be hard to open.
But I'm gonna break it to open it and then I'm gonna tell you what's in it.
Did someone did anyone here get the last month's loot crate?
Yeah!
So you can confirm if this was the last month's one.
Dystopian?
Yeah!
Your dystopian future awaits.
And the inside of the box is beautiful.
I'm sorry I destroyed it by tearing it open.
But we've got a Matrix-inspired puzzle,
which I'm already very excited about,
and I'm just going keep that item we got a vinyl collectible it says fallout on it
apologies for not knowing all the characters and stuff but this one's name
is derbs or dorbs I don't know but it seems pretty cool. A t-shirt. So I guess they get your size,
so they send you the right size. And in my case, this is not going to be big enough,
so I'm giving this away. Oh, that's cool. It's a RoboCop shirt. It's a very beautiful,
very beautiful, colorful RoboCop shirt. And then a few other some loot pins and oh this is
cool this is a t2 Terminator 2 plate I don't know what I mean by plate but
there it is all that kind of stuff if you subscribe you can get those box
sent to you monthly you know all the details and I'm sure I'll talk about
them again during the break today.
And my guests all brought stuff for the bag,
so let's get them out here. Please give
a big, warm welcome to
Adam Nee, Paul F. Tompkins,
and Thomas Middleditch. Hey, fellas.
Hi, Doug.
Hey.
Hi, Doug.
Let's meet you all individually,
starting with the gentleman furthest away from me,
first-time guest on the show.
It's Adam Nee, everybody.
Hey, guys.
Nice to meet you.
Thanks for having me.
Doesn't he have kind of a Bobby Tisdale thing going on, Paul?
I can see that, yeah.
Yeah, right?
Anyway.
That's not an insult.
It's not.
He's great.
He's a favorite of everybody.
He's all right.
He's all right.
He's okay.
Jury's out. Adam is the reason I invited him to be here with us he's a favorite of everybody he's alright he's okay Adam
the reason I invited him to be here with us
is he is the star and co-director
and co-writer
with his bro Aaron
of a motion picture on Netflix I enjoyed a great deal
called Band of Robbers
thank you so much
yeah you guys have seen it right
everyone's seen it
it's one of the most
things right yeah Thomas saw it yeah so it is it's pretty famous it's super
famous now I heard it's time because you heard about why I tweeted I've got over
over 10,000 followers that's tons yeah yeah that's great thank you you do have
over 10,000 is there is there a movie what's's the next least famous movie right after yours?
Because you said it's a very famous movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The next one would be like the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Like 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
And then it's us.
Less famous?
It's less famous than ours, right?
Just less famous.
Have you seen that one?
Have you seen that one?
Nope, never even heard of it.
See?
See? Yeah, I guess you're one? Have you seen that one? Nope, never even heard of it. See? See?
Yeah, I guess you're right.
And the robbers.
I can't keep track of all the turtle incarnations.
There's been 24.
I don't really know the whole genealogy of it or whatever.
My favorite thing about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
is what's that MTV show called?
It follows someone, and it would follow that girl
who was super
into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the show isn't called follow someone that
sounds like a show I would watch but yeah definitely sounds 16 and pregnant
no no no it was like my time or like spotlight me or so what I like to do
with my time is I like to talk about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Someone has seen this clip.
Someone follows me. Because it made
the internet rounds of
this girl. Come on. Only ate
pizza.
I'm serious. And she
like went to the... I think you
got catfished.
Fanatic. Fanatic. Yes!
That's been off TV for years, I think.
Yes, but that's what I think of when I think of...
Wait, was she a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fanatic?
She was a fanatic!
You want to know something crazy?
And this is a true story.
When I was nine years old, one night I couldn't sleep because I was so bummed out that I loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles more than God.
This is true.
I felt... I was convicted that I lovedant Ninja Turtles more than God. This is true. I felt, I was
convicted that I love the Ninja Turtles more than God. And I had actually secretly watched
the movie. I wasn't supposed to watch it. And so I went to my parents and asked them
to pray for me to get the Ninja Turtles out of my system. Whoa. I didn't know. Did it
work? It worked. I haven't seen any of the movies since. Thank God. You're not missing
much. Wait, so, and I was on an MTV show.
A lot of people don't know about it.
It's called Fanatic.
I'm so curious about your religious background now.
I don't know how to let it go.
But you know what you were on that I'm fascinated by?
You played Jamie in an episode of Dawson's Creek.
Jeez.
Yeah, right?
That's wild.
How'd that work out for you?
Oh, you know, greatest thing that ever happened to me, it happened 13 years ago and really kicked my career off.
I've been famous ever since. It only took me 12 years to make a movie after that.
Wait, did you abandon God and that's why your career did not take off from Dawson's Creek?
I think that, yeah, I have fallen out of favor with the Lord.
Cause and effect.
You have a choice in life,
Ninja Turtles
or God and success.
Yeah, it's true.
But what did Jamie do
on Dawson's Creek?
What was your character?
It says on IMDb,
one episode,
so it sounds like
an interesting arc.
It definitely had the potential
for recurring.
It was one of the last
five episodes of the show.
Oh, they were winding down.
Yeah, they were winding down.
The glory years.
You know, it was a weird thing.
I lived in Orlando.
I grew up in Orlando.
Florida?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll be there September 10th.
Go ahead.
They just would put you on tape with random random sides for just, I think I auditioned
for a part that already existed on the show.
And then six months later, they just called me up and said, Hey, you're going to come
play Jamie.
I was like, okay, cool.
And I went out there, I went to North Carolina where they shot it and I, I danced with a
girl and Pacey and I fought.
It was great.
Oh, Pacey.
Yeah.
Pacey.
I thought you said pasty.
That's what I call Pacey.
I don't remember that really pale character.
I don't remember the show too well. I think it was pasty
and Geordie. I don't know.
You guys fought, like physically fought?
Yeah, I was supposed to make
this girl's boyfriend jealous by
dancing with her. And I was supposed to be a basketball
player, but I had like shoulder length long hair.
And so they were like, like okay maybe he's not a
basketball player you're like because I didn't know what I look like it was six
months later that I couldn't you be a basketball player with long hair you
don't need a basketball player with long hair outside the NBA teen wolf he kept
it pretty tight but excellent work but I am still promoting
Jamie and Dawson's Creek that's why I'm here on Netflix and it's on Netflix you
got a crazy deal his contract was insane for a point James you have to let me
look if I'll do this Dawson's Creek episode, but if there's ever some sort of streaming entertainment
service,
I get to make a movie.
Where'd these guys go?
There's a VIP lounge up there.
Did you guys go vape?
Y'all vaping?
Okay, I guess I'll tell the Janie story again.
Don't make fun of my audience.
And let's say hi to Paul F. Thompson! Y'all vaping? Okay, I guess I'll tell the Janie story again. Don't make fun of my audience.
And let's say hi to Paul F. Tompkins, everybody!
Hello to everyone.
Hello.
Hi.
Hello there.
It has been a minute, as people who don't know how time works like to say.
What's going on, Paul? Doug, nothing much.
I'll be appearing on Doug Loves Movies right now.
And you're wearing basketball clothes.
I'm wearing, I'm head to toe,
dressed like LeBron James,
but the same sizes that he wears,
so it's just like hanging off me.
It's embarrassing.
And I look like a little kid. I look like someone
who got shrunk.
If you couldn't say
LeBron James, who would you say?
Oh, probably Luau Cinder.
Yeah, I was going to say, do you have any other
current basketball references?
He's the one, right? Steph Curry
is a good one.
Why did you do that?
Because his little daughter did that one time.
Oh, that's right.
And everybody thought it was the cutest thing they ever saw
until they saw more of her.
Doug, are you a sports guy?
Do you watch basketball?
Oh, I love it!
Beemaw the slams the dunkers?
Can't get enough of any of it, i really do i really love it a lot
popcorn yeah popcorn and ice warm he's my favorite player you're right
and uh also joining us on the dais which that really isn't what this is
is thomas middleditch everybody Middle Ditch, everybody. Whoa.
Whoa.
It says here it's your 14th appearance on the show.
Yep, that's what it says.
Where's my research, Doug?
I just write things down.
Okay, I've got one for you, Paul. You're doing guest research on me, for Christ's sake.
Here's my research on you, buddy.
You played Short Thug in Tangled?
That's right. i did the disney animated near classic tangled
where that's the one that's the one uh oh they they didn't go ethnic on the girl did they it
was she's just uh no there was no diversity hires in tangled okay they didn't go They didn't go ethnic on her, did they?
I'm just confusing with the prince and the frog.
I was going to say Tangled, the first
African-American princess.
That makes no sense at all.
Regular old white princess.
Yeah, there you go.
White princess!
What does...
What kind of things...
Tone matters.
What kind of things does Short Thug say, Paul?
Well, here's the thing.
He's called Short because he's short,
but really, in the original script,
he was called Drunk Thug.
But then people were like,
oh, that's right, this is a movie for children.
So even though I am clearly speaking
like a drunk person in the movie,
he's credited as short thug.
And then when I did, they're doing an animated TV series, and I'm reprising my role.
And one of the notes was, maybe he's too drunk.
And so I pulled back on it a little bit, and they're like, now it's not drunk enough.
And so I pull back on it a little bit,
and they're like, now it's not drunk enough.
And then we weren't allowed to use the word drunk anymore,
so we used the word tired.
A little more tired.
Wait, you couldn't even use the word drunk even in the booth?
Well, they wanted to get out of the habit of saying it.
Did you ever just ask them to give the guy a name?
It never occurred to me that that was within my power to do.
It looks better on IMDb.
I thought Short Thug was his name.
Like, short round.
Short Thug. I think my name
on Dawson's was, like, long-haired
b-ball guy, and I said, can I be Jamie?
It'll look better
when I do Doug Loves Movies.
And then you came out of your weird trance
and you're like, I've foreseen
podcasts.
Netflix and podcasts.
CD players.
Are those new?
Thomas, I have a question.
Another thing I want to talk about with Paul.
Paul.
Yes.
I like this.
I like this.
More research.
Today is your comedy anniversary?
That's fair.
It's true.
It's Paul's comedy anniversary, you guys.
This is the anniversary of the very first time I did an open mic in Philadelphia on,
I believe it was a Thursday, Thursday, July 11th, 30 years ago, 1986.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Now it seems like I brought it up.
Yeah.
Paul, why do you always talk about it?
Why did you bring that up? You you know at least it's at least
it's 30 this year I was sick of hearing about it on 26 27 gotta only do the big ones but 30 years
and then the first time you said it was in Philly is that where you first did it yes at a place
called the comedy factory outlet that place is no longer in business. Yeah.
Doesn't sound like that would work out.
And I do have
a question for you, Mr. Middleditch.
How come Tina Fey
doesn't recognize you and wonder
why you're working in that grocery store?
Isn't that weird?
You're like a pretty known guy.
She's just talking to you like you're
some stupid dude working in the store. Well, what am I doing there in the first place? Did I kill that weird? You're like a pretty known guy. She's just talking to you like you're some stupid dude working in the store.
Well, what am I doing there in the first
place? Did I kill that man?
What was your motivation?
Did the character have a name, or
was that you if you worked in a
grocery store and Tina Fey came in?
It is a nameless character. It was called Clerk.
I'm just going to assume they typoed
Clark, and there you go
I think he had a name on his tag
It's not featured
Mainly the American Express card is featured
We're talking about a commercial
But then he also
Your character doesn't seem to recognize
Tina Fey either
You recognize her as a sort of annoying customer
Yeah I'm like oh this bitch
Yeah you are kind of fed up with her.
Yeah.
And it's like, oh, Tina Fey, though.
No, she's just like...
Why is this guy over it so fast?
I don't know.
He's never seen 30 Rock or anything.
He's just sort of like, I'm just done with it.
And she is insane in those commercials.
She's like a crazy...
The things that she says...
It's like she's just discovered that you can just buy things.
So she's like,
oh, I can just show this card and
get stuff? Good.
It would be like what her life would be like if everywhere she went
nobody laughed at any of the jokes she was
making. Like one of the funniest people
is cracking jokes and everyone's just
looking at her like, what's wrong with this lady?
It's like a music video with the sound taken
out.
Alright, Adam, what do you got for the prize bag uh oh boy friend it looks like you came loaded up
boy you have your own bag boy do you want me to hold the bag open so you can pull stuff out of it
can you small here we go short though sorry it's hard to remember when it's not a real
name um so even though it's on netflix i got a blu-ray of the band of robbers uh it's got all
those special features sweet and if your papa couldn't afford to buy you a blu-ray i got a dvd
of band of robbers yeah and if if the next thing's a DVD Blu-ray,
I'm going to be so happy.
It's a shirt.
It's a size small.
If you've got a small papa,
if you want to give that to him.
But since no one really wants those things,
here's a Eagle Rock Thai massage.
60 minutes of someone walking on your back.
That's a very thoughtful gift to throw in
so you can do all of these at once as i do every time i go to this thai massage place i ask you if
they can put the movie on can i watch a movie i brought one it's mine well thank you for all of that. What do you got for us, Paul? Well, Doug, I got this little lapel pin
from BoJack Horseman.
This depicts...
This depicts Aaron Paul's character, Todd,
when he created his own amusement park
called Toddland,
and he's got a top hat on
and some fancy Ringmaster clothes.
And then also, this mug from my
canceled TV show, Know You Shut Up.
Very valuable
collector's item.
Now today, Mark Maron was
saying on the internet that you chose to end
it in the right moment and that it was not
canceled. Your show. Who?
Mark Maron.
You didn't see the dust up over Mark Maron's
show being canceled today?
Who
was kicking up the dust about that?
It was between him and the
Hollywood Reporter. Oh, so people were
saying the show was canceled and he was saying, no, I chose
to end it. I ended it after four
seasons and that's how I wanted to go out
and I ended it. Right. But
my joke about it did not help anything but thank you for bringing that for the bag and
Thomas what do you have well I've got I've got well you're gonna really like
this because it is a salt and pepper shaker and they are in the styles,
the comedy stylings
of French
Bulldogs.
Is that comedy?
Those are comedy salt and pepper shakers?
Comedy salt and pepper
shakers. Real nice.
Real nice stuff. I love how
they're getting along together. Oh yeah, you put
them on the table, they're gonna really have a fun time.
They're caged separately in the packaging, but they seem to get along.
They yearn to be together again.
Perhaps you can do it.
Soldier.
Until suddenly we're in like a Captain Power show.
All of these prizes.
All of these wonderful prizes. Captain Power. You don't know who Captain Power show. All of these prizes. All of these wonderful prizes.
Who's Captain Power?
You don't know who Captain Power is?
No.
What a terrifying name.
Captain Power.
Okay, Doug, do you know who Captain Power is?
Nuh-uh.
Okay, Captain Power was this real cool...
Is that different than Captain Planet?
Yes, quite.
Oh.
Captain Planet's a fucking ding-dong.
Whoa!
He's powerless.
He's great.
Don't worry about it.
I gave him up to God when I was 10, so I don't care anymore.
Well, Captain Planet, you probably would have had to give enough.
Captain Power, I mean.
It was really cool.
You would get these toys, and they were like jets with handles on it,
and you had a little trigger, and you shot at the TV.
And for some reason, there were these flashing bits
that the thing realized
that that was what you wanted to hit
and then other flashing bits that you
didn't want to hit. You can put a VHS in
and it would be this cartoon story that you'd
pretend to fly around in. And then
there was the Captain Planet show,
which is a weekly show, live action, where they'd be
like, okay, power on.
They would say power on. Yeah, you just said
planet. You said Captain Planet.
Because you fucked me up.
There never was a Captain Power,
was there, Thomas?
No, it was always Captain Planet.
My parents put me on the
doorstep of my neighbors and then forgot about me.
I made up
Captain Power to survive.
Who's the
captain now?
power to survive who's the captain now
so which one wait okay I'm lost interest in it I can't believe there's a thing where you squirted at your TV that That doesn't seem, that seems unsafe even by today's standards. You didn't squirt. You didn't squirt. No one's squirting.
No one said squirt. It like emits, I don't know, like a
infrared or something like that. Oh, infrared, okay. What was really cool is
your little jet had hit points, and if you died, your little guy, your pilot
would eject out of the jet. It was awesome. It was a great joke. You ever do that thing where you squirt at your TV?
Yeah.
And then at the end of every episode,
it said,
remember kids,
remember to masturbate
and squirt.
It sounds like...
Remember.
It sounded like
there's like one person
in the audience
that knew the way
you were talking about.
Captain Power, right?
To be fair though,
he only said woo
when you talked about
shooting the TV.
Yeah.
Nothing else
seemed familiar at all.
That guy could be an Elvis biographer
or something.
Do you know what it is, dude?
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
See, I'm not making it up. A toy for two boys.
A toy for two boys.
Actually, speak of that, you could
shoot them at each other. Your jets could fire
at each other. This all seems very dangerous.
It was a tale for two.
I think a toy for two boys
is the name of the movie
that you squirted the TV at.
I'm sorry, I'll drop that.
I'm going to move on from that.
Isn't it the worst?
What?
I was just going to say,
it's just the worst
when you forget to masturbate.
Do you have days
where you're like,
I can't believe I didn't...
I forgot to fit that in.
You should always make time for it.
Get Siri to make a reminder for you.
Squeeze it in to squeeze it out.
What?
Get Siri to make a reminder for you.
Siri, remind me to masturbate in two hours.
You know how...
But she sometimes gets a little prissy
about foul language.
Do you think she'd be like, I'm not going to do that?
There's only one way to find out.
Here we go.
I have a Samsung.
It's time for Ask Siri.
Remind me to masturbate in two hours.
It's a flip phone.
She's going to pretend I didn't say anything.
Why is she so shy?
Yeah, maybe she just won't even answer sometimes.
No, she's...
Siri, remind me to masturbate in two hours.
Okay, I'll remind you.
Thank you.
No, no, no.
Unacceptable.
Now you're going to do one.
Remind me in 20 minutes.
I want to hear her remind you.
We won't be here in two hours.
Doug, good point.
Siri, remind me to masturbate in 20 minutes.
Okay, I'll remind you.
All right, she's on it, so let us know if she comes through.
She's very subservient.
Adam, what was the last movie you saw?
Oh, man, what was it?
I've watched so many movies.
On Netflix or otherwise.
Oh, you know what it was?
Have you watched your own movie on Netflix?
To get to the part where at the end it says, we think you'd
also like, just to see.
No. You should do that.
It's fun. No. Or sad.
Is that what you did? Depending on what they recommend.
Did you do that?
Everything I've got on there, I like to see what
they, but they're recommending it to me
also, which is also very offensive
because they never recommend my other movies
to me and I just watched one of them
so why wouldn't I want to see more?
I have found that my movie
is never recommended to me and
other people will be like, oh, your movie keeps being recommended to me
but it's never recommended to me so I don't
know if I'm the target audience of my movie.
I think you need to watch more heist
movies or something. Yeah, you're probably right.
Because that's what Banda Roberts
is.
The title didn't give it away yeah it's a rom-com last thing you saw like Swiss Army Man was I think the last movie I saw and I
love it I hear it's weird I loved it oh my gosh I loved it so much it's so hard
to make a crazy weird movie that's different and doesn't isn't set up to be
a franchise or isn't based on a book or something.
It is so surprising and funny throughout.
I love it.
Yeah, and you're still enjoying it at the end.
100%.
Doesn't lose steam.
Not for me.
Do you feel that this will enable Daniel Radcliffe to leave Harry Potter behind?
Yeah, I guess.
All right.
I never even heard of this one.
I gotta go see it.
It's Harry Potter?
Oh, my God.
It's amazing.
No, you big dummy.
He sleeps under the stairs
and his father doesn't have a face.
Right?
With that tie,
you're kind of coming off
like the worst entertainment reporters.
Harry Potter.
He's sure to please people.
He does magic tricks, but he's
not a children's entertainer, but he
is after a fashion, you understand,
because kids go to see the movies, and then
they walk out entertained.
Back to you, over at the desk part.
Back to you.
I'd sure like to come into the studio
someday. I'm in my to come into the studio someday.
I'm in my fake office.
These books are painted.
What was the last movie you saw,
entertainment reporter?
What is the last movie I saw?
Oh, I saw 10...
What's it called? Lane.
10 Cloverfield Lane.
I really enjoyed it.
It's good, right?
It's super fun.
It keeps you excited through the whole thing.
Works till the end, I think.
I agree, Doug.
What do you got, Tom?
Was it a prequel or a sequel?
Don't give it away.
Or give it away.
Or does it have nothing to do with the movie Cloverfield?
I think it's a concurrentquel.
Yeah, it's a concurrentquel.
Thank you for verifying.
This is the news.
This is the news. I'm being educated and entertained which is what I'm glad we
coined that now because that's what a lot of the Star Wars movies are gonna be
right this is the news concurrent I would love to see the Star Wars news
maybe something will have it on in the background. Why is it their hologram news? Maybe Rogue One is a TV channel.
Man, if we thought we were spoiled for riches with TV in this world.
Which we did.
What about Star Wars?
All those planets.
All those networks.
I don't want to think about what I'm missing in the Star Wars galaxy what
was the last movie you've seen in this year I am I'm not sure if I've seen one
after this but the last one I can remember is the lobster the lobster it's
crazy real weird it's real weird and and I I watched it twice because I was I
found it disappointing the first time and I i watched it twice because i was i found it uh disappointing the
first time and i was on a plane there it was a choice on the plane i was like i'll watch this
on a plane yeah because if anybody plants is over and sees what's going on on my screen
they're going to be bummed out yeah it was it was a it was a sullen film. Yeah. Did you guys like Dogtooth? Is it comparable?
Or Walrus?
Do you mean Tusk?
I haven't seen Dogtooth.
The Fleetwood Mac story?
That's right.
I haven't...
Yeah, I haven't seen Dogtooth either.
But the lobster, it grows on me.
I like it better the more I think about it.
But it's just...
It was a frustrating watch the first time I saw it.
I think, I love all the acting.
There's so many great little moments.
It suffers from a lot of foreign director endings of just kind of like a non-ending,
like a non-choice.
Yeah.
And I was like, okay, fuck.
You couldn't have just decided?
Sure.
You fucking pussy.
Ooh, ooh.
Man, fuck you guys.
Thomas.
I'm not a citizen, but I voted Brexit.
I fucking did.
Wait, wait.
How did you vote if you're not?
Because I did, man.
Because I did.
It was the first legislation to be settled on Twitter.
Isn't that weird that they did it that way?
Yeah.
That's why so many people voted. They just, yeah.
You ever do a poll on Twitter?
People vote like assholes.
They really vote like assholes.
Because they think they're giving a comedy vote.
They think they're giving you a joke vote.
Well, your questions are, which are better, boners or giners?
Right, why would boners win?
Doesn't seem right
I watched a movie
Have any of you guys seen the film Demolition
With Jake Gyllenhaal?
No
An emphatic no from Paul
Absolutely not
Not a fan of him.
I say give it a try.
Okay.
I liked his...
Not Demolition Man.
Just Demolition.
Which I have seen.
He's got the camera
and he's creeping.
Nightcrawler.
You win that game. Paul's ahead with one point.
Oh, the points have started?
Where someone
describes the plot of a movie?
You didn't describe.
You named. Oh, Rene Russo.
Huh? Rene Russo?
I'm trying to catch up.
Nobody asked about that.
Oh, Kevin Costner.
Get ahead of me now. Kevin Costner is in Water Cup. Nobody asked about that. Tin Cup is the movie I first made out of. Get ahead of me now.
Kevin Costner is in Waterworld.
Dreamcatcher.
Shacklad. Still going on.
Okay, point again to Paul.
Wait, what?
You're killing me.
I'm cleaning up at this game.
It's so hard to win this game.
I forgot to tell Bert to turn the show off.
Richard Gere!
What about Bob? What about Bob? Quick, turn the show off. Richard Gere! What about Bob?
Quick, turn the show off for a crash show
because it's time for me to say,
let the games begin!
Gentlemen, people in Los Angeles are very busy
so that anyone took the time to make a name tag
is an honor to all of us and i'd like you to
choose now which one of these wow what's oh interesting i thought he just quit i thought
he was pissed he's like i'm out of here he's not care for the selection so he just dropped it
and while they do that we'll'll do this. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody.
I just opened one, so it makes sense that today's episode is brought to you in part by Loot Crate.
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For less than $20 a month, you get four to eight items that include licensed gear, apparel, collectibles, unique one of a kind items and
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How many times did I say Star Wars, nitpickers?
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the code doug to save three dollars on your new subscription today all right, we're back. We did it. Congratulations, everybody.
We did do it.
We got through it.
Who are you playing for, Adam?
Julian.
Julian made this
beautiful Saving Private Julian
poster.
And you've got the soldiers carrying a joint
because of, you know, you getting high all the time.
He's got a big blunt. And you've got the soldiers carrying a joint because of, you know, you getting high all the time. You've got a big blunt.
And you replaced it old Hanksy.
Yeah.
It's beautiful.
I love it.
Who stayed in?
Who's that over there?
That's me.
That's Julian.
No, no, no.
On the other side.
I know that that is you.
It's Tom Sizemore.
Tom Sizemore stayed in naturally.
Oh, okay.
And the other guy. Oh, that's Ron Eldred.
Eldred!
Eldred is in there.
Yeah.
Good for him.
You left the two most famous people from the movie.
Yeah.
Well, good pick.
Both talented actors.
I don't mean to diminish them.
Nice job, Adam.
Thank you.
It's your first name tag pick.
You did it.
Thank you.
Enjoy the rest of your time here. Thank you. It's your first name tag pick. You did it. Thank you. Enjoy the rest of your time here.
Thank you.
On this earth or on the show?
And we have to tie one of your hands behind your back
for the first couple days that you're here.
Lobster reference.
Paul.
I'm playing for Nate.
And this is Nate's dream DLM 2.0.
It's a little...
It's the second time he's done this. That's dream DLM 2.0 it's a little it's the second time he's done this
that's right
he pointed out
he showed me
a picture on his phone
like you were
in my first one
so that I wouldn't
like just smash it
on the ground
well that's funny
you should say that
because he's here
for the summer
and he's leaving
soon
what is he doing
an internship with you
not with me
but that's what
he's here for
is an internship where Billd he's a great guy how's it going so far are you learning things
are you remembering things i hope you're being polite to mr codd
hey you don't have to stick up for him well all right? Well, I want to make sure that this young man is treating my colleague.
Paul spends a lot of time with him in the teacher's lounge.
That's right.
I'm always labeling my yogurts.
So I sort of promised him.
I promised him that at the end of the season or at the end of his time here that I would smash that thing.
Because he's been bringing it to every episode.
Well, you want it to be smashed.
Yeah.
But you must have spent a good deal of time on this
oh he shrugs modestly i like the cut of your jib young man maybe you should intern for me instead
of bill kopp shall i say who's on the the the panel here oh you can't if you want to we've
done it before it It's happened before.
Well, this is new people.
We got, I don't know, this name tag fell off.
This guy in the corner. Who is that?
That's me. Is that you?
I guess so.
There's Doug. It looks exactly like him.
And then I think, is that Jeff Tate?
Probably. And then Chris Cubis.
Bert Kreischer.
Yeah. D.C. Pearson.
Is that Jimmy Pardo?
Milana.
Last name that I have never said out loud.
Feintraub.
Thank you.
Sean.
Colin.
Mark.
He's good.
Supposed to be Mark Wahlberg.
Supposed to be Mark Wahlberg.
Oh, folks, I wish you could see this person. Mark Wahlberg? Supposed to be Mark Wahlberg oh folks I wish you could see this person Mark
Waller supposed to be Mark Wahlberg and then Greg proofs was it hard to make the
little glasses and it was that's probably why proofs was the only four
eyes on the panel what's it I'm gonna be really what's a DLM? Doug Loves Movies.
And where are we?
That's what's happening right now.
It stands for Doug Loves Movies, TM.
Well, I don't know.
It could be something else.
Yeah.
It could be anything.
It could be a lot of things.
But maybe as I stomp on it,
you can make a vine or a little video
or whatever you want to do.
Because I'm going to stomp on that thing.
Jeez, what an animal.
You're threatening that poor man.
Yeah, I'm going to bust the shit out of mine too,
Doug. It's just
a piece of paper, Adam. I'm going to
fuck up mine too. Well, I'm going to politely
give mine back to the man.
What if DLM stood for
do less murders?
2.0 means the first one failed.
Do Lovely Murders.
No, no one likes that.
No.
Do Less Murders.
Make art with your murders.
Who are you playing for, Tommy?
I'm playing for...
Oh, shit, I love that one.
Tom Stone.
Tom Stoned.
Doug Benson, Adam Scott, and Paul Scheer star in Tom Stoned. Tom Stoned. Doug Benson, Adam Scott, and Paul Scheer star in Tom Stoned.
And introducing, well, Tom LaGlachlan.
LaGlachlan.
In Tom Stoned, the true story of the smokeout at the OK Corral.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody's got bongs and doobies and pipes
and a kazoo that is a pipe, I guess.
Wasn't Tom McLaughlin the name of the guy who played Billy Jack?
Yes.
Wait.
Waiter, you don't think...
Could it be?
Here in this theater tonight?
Did you ever know that, Tom?
Didn't they have his name registered as a trademark
so that no one else could have it?
No one else could ever have it.
All right.
Good job picking name tags.
Thanks.
This is a weird show.
The first game we're going to play
is called Characters Welcome.
Each of you has to name
as many TV shows from
the USA Network as possible go all right so Paul's winning Sure No it's just called
Characters Welcome
Because I am going to
List off characters
Played by a
A famous actor
Or actress
And you guys
Guess as many times
As you want
But just you know
One as many times
As you guess
Yes
Do we do like a bam
Or do we just say it? Just say it.
Okay. Oh.
Oh well. Yeah, just jump in
with it as soon as you know.
Alright. As soon as you know.
Okay. What?
I've never done, I'm bad
at winking, but I've also never tried that
with a contestant like I've set him up to win.
Bam.
Alright. Alright. What actor played all of these roles? with a contestant like I've set him up to win. Ehh.
All right. What actor played all of these roles?
A character named Watts.
Josephson.
No, that was not a guess.
Josephson is one of the most famous of actors.
Watts.
A character called in the credits of a motion picture
Party Crasher.
Imagine if someone got it now.
It would be pretty amazing.
Sam Jackson.
Here's another character.
I hope I'm pronouncing this right.
I hope I'm pronouncing this right.
Kalar Zim.
Oh.
Tom Hanks?
Not Tom Hanks.
But I'm curious to know what you think he played someone named Kalar Zim in.
What's that movie by the Wachowski brothers where he's running around with Halle Berry in the woods?
Club Atlas.
Yeah.
Club Atlas.
Club Atlas. Yeah, Club Atlas. Club Atlas.
Another character this person played
is named Ike Clanton.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, Ike Clanton.
You don't have to hold on to this the whole time.
Wait, who's he playing for?
You just hold on to it the whole time.
No, I'm going to just set it down.
All right.
Ike Clanton.
Okay.
This person also
played a character
named Colonel
Miles Quarich.
Bill Paxton?
No and no.
Good guesses, though.
Stephen Lang?
Who?
Sorry.
I just didn't hear you. What'd you say?
Stephen Lang.
That is the correct answer.
He played Ike Clanton in Tombstone. That's what movie that was from. That was a funny
coincidence. And he plays Injun Joe in Band of Robbers. Currently
you can see it on Netflix, or if you win
tonight, it's in this bag.
Stephen Lang, the great
character actor. It's true.
Do you know who that is? I don't.
He's great. You'd know him if you saw him.
It was when he wins the general
I knew, because I know he was very proud
of his work on North and
South, I think. I don't know.
I guess I'm blowing it.
He played Freddy Lounds in Manhunter, the first.
Yes.
And he was really good in that.
Like the journalist that ends up having something terrible happen to him.
And then I was going to, the joke was I was going to get all the way to Engine Joe.
And then he was going to name his own movie.
He recognized him because he's in your movie.
And he is so so like what i love
about this movie is it's funny and fun but he is scary as fuck in it and actually brings like a
real suspenseful tone to it he's so great and he's a method actor so he acted like that on the set
he was the best so he's great i love it but that'd be scary to be around all the time. Engine Joe, come on.
Does he wear glasses sometimes?
You know, I don't know.
That's a fun thing I like to find out about actors.
Next up on Entertainment News.
Yeah, I really like your entertainment reporter thing you do.
Let's take a look at the montage.
And now let's take a look at a montage of actors who wore glasses this year.
Hold your applause until the end.
And it's like really sad music.
Yeah.
There's like an editor who wore glasses and no one clapped. Oh my god, he wore glasses this year?
No!
No!
I thought he wore glasses 10 years ago.
She's worn glasses 10 times.
Yeah.
All right, this next game is called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
And we're gonna start with...
Oh, a new game?
What?
A new game?
Yeah!
You can't win, you fucking idiot.
I know.
Jesus.
All you want is a chance to go first in this next game.
And then we'll go to Paul, and then we'll go to Thomas.
I'm gonna say a tagline that was used
in conjunction with the motion picture,
either on a poster or advertising, according to IMDB.
Your body language is very strange.
You look like, please don't get mad at me.
Please don't get mad at me.
I'm going to use a tagline from a movie.
I'm still a little stressed out from when Danny Trejo was on the show
and I had to explain these things to him.
Better or worse
than when Harry Dean Stanton was here? Way better.
Yeah, no kidding. Yeah.
Fucking Danny Trejo loved
the entire experience.
He had a blast, but it
still was very scary
at the same time.
Because he'd reach over and grab me and the listeners
couldn't hear that, but he would grab me hard.
Were you afraid he was going to reach for a machete?
Don't think I did say a few of those to him to his face,
and also kind of was ready for it,
in case he came at me.
But we'll start with you, Adam.
What movie had a tagline,
when ambition meets faith?
Easy.
Paul thinks it's an easy one, so give it a shot.
Oh, man.
When ambition meets faith.
Oh, man. When ambition meets faith.
Is it that damned Steve Martin movie where he plays kind of a fun preacher in a white suit?
A leap of faith?
Leap of faith?
No.
Paul?
Where ambition, When ambition?
When ambition meets faith.
When ambition meets faith. This movie is saying it is there when it happens.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm gonna say...
Oh.
Gotta be Battlefield Earth.
No.
What?
I know.
Surprising.
You should fell off your chair.
There you have it.
It wasn't Battlefield Earth.
Back to you, Doug.
Hard news.
I don't know that film. No, no, no, no, no. I was just saying the segment, his Doug. Hard news. I don't know that film.
No, no, no, no, no.
I was just saying the segment,
his segment was hard news.
Sister Act 2.
Full title.
Sister Act 2, Back in the Habit.
I like looking like it might be the answer.
Because you have no idea.
Let me just double check.
No, it's a movie that
Paul F. Tompkins appears in called
There Will Be Blood.
What?
There Will Be Blood.
Has anyone ever seen that on a poster?
That's why I went all this shit about
it's according to IMDb.
Don't take it out on me.
I forgot about that.
Of course you would have gotten the answer right
if I used the other tagline they had on there,
which was, I love milkshakes.
You're right.
You're right.
All right.
Just gluing into the fact that my suggestion
was Sister Act 2, Back in the Habit,
Where Ambition Meets Faith.
That's a lot of colons.
Fuck off.
I don't care.
Idiots. You're all high anyway. You don't
understand what's happening.
Stoner.
Someone took genuine umbrage.
What? What?
The very idea. Excuse me,
sir. I've only smoked eight bowls
today.
I understand everything
and most of it. Alright right let's start with Adam
again Stephen Lang so it might be a good go-to guess if we were guessing actor
names but these are the titles of films I don't think Stephen Lang the movie has happened yet. What movie Adam had the tagline,
be ready to believe us?
Us.
Important clue.
Wow.
I guess Magnolia?
Be ready to believe us.
Well, I guess if I've done the math right. If I've done the math of how this game works,
hmm, the master?
These aren't bad guesses, but they're both wrong.
Paul?
Um, somebody once told me. Be ready to believe us.
More than one character is asking or ordering you to get yourself
ready for the idea
of believing them. Such a long title.
Oh boy, let's
see. I gotta
say
it's
the thin blue
line.
No. No?
It's not the thin blue line. Uh-uh. Just to clarify, it is not no case closed um got anything what is that movie with it's
they've just done a sequel now it's a bunch of stars and they've they use magic to steal things oh now you see me
yeah but the original just now that's what the first one was called now you see me not now you
see me too back in the habit but now you see it's not a bad guess but incorrect it was in fact a sequel and I I get why they use this but it's not great
Ghostbusters 2 yeah cuz they said something about believe us in the ad and
we're ready to believe you we're ready to believe you yeah so be ready to
believe us and then we were not ready not ready it turns out too much pressure
yeah do you think for the sequel for Now You See Me
do you think they even entertain the idea of calling it
Now You Don't
I hope they did but they just
think people are so dumb
that they won't make the connection
unless you just call it the same thing and add a 2
they're potentially dumb enough to go
see the sequel
what if it was Now You See Me
colon Now You Don't?
Yeah, that'd be great. I think that'd be kind of
perfect, but it also
made me think people are about to see a movie about
invisibility.
Well, what did they think when they heard about
a movie called Now You See Me?
Oh, this guy recovers his sight.
You're right. It's been a problem all along.
Yeah, it's the title.
The movie's great.
It's the title.
I just don't know how they went ahead with this next one without Dave Franco.
Dave Franco is not in Now You See Me 2.
Oh, I haven't seen it, so I don't know if he's in it or not.
He is?
He's got to be in there.
Oh, the girl isn't in it.
Isla Fisher's not in it.
Oh, is she not?
I haven't seen it.
I just know what Dave Franco's up to.
What's Franco up to?
Being in that movie, Now You See Me, Now You Don't.
There's a spin-off film.
It's a spin-off, and it's just a game of peek-a-boo
hitting a child.
I mean, also, Now You See Me, Now You Don't
was a Kurt Russell comedy that Disney made in the 70s.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, one person saw that.
He's probably squirting guns at his TV. that Disney made in the 70s oh yeah yeah one person one person saw that see a guy
shooting guns and it's TV
trust that joke race joke race starting with Adam again you guys are doing great
pretty tough well they're not it was a big movie. They're tough ones for sure.
We all do. Vans off the walls.
Mine are the newest.
Fuck you.
Congratulations on guests.
There was a movie put out into the world
with the simple tagline
It will scare you.
Okay, I feel like I should know
this.
Halloween?
Nope.
The Mexican?
Nope.
Are you going to call back to my encounter with Danny Trejo?
That's for you to decide.
Okay.
That title would be appropriate for apparently like half of America.
No, I meant that it will scare you,
the Mexican will,
Trump got, fuck it.
It's too late.
Never mind.
Again, too many bongs in this room.
You did vote Brexit.
What about it?
The movie It?
It will scare you? It, it, it will scare you yeah oh yeah tv movie first of all
that's a great guess that was a great guess and the answer is friday the 13th 3 3d
that was the tagline that was the tagline it will scare you
It will scare you.
No wordplay about the fact that it was in 3D.
Nothing at all.
Somebody sent me the picture on Twitter.
You just look down in the corner and it just says, it will scare you.
Get ready to have scared feelings.
That's tremendous.
All right, so let's do one more.
Just to see if we can get somebody with a point on the board here.
And we'll start with Adam.
And it's...
Someone's angrily pushing away from the dinner table.
While I've had enough.
We shouldn't wear your headphones at dinner.
It's the only time we're together as a family.
Do you have to listen to podcasts all day?
Huh?
Adam, what movie had the tagline,
Her First Great Adventure?
Wait, is it Her First Great Adventure?
Her.
Her.
Her.
Her.
First.
First.
Her.
Great.
Great.
Her.
Her.
First.
Her.
Great. Venture. Herf Erst. Great adventure.
The name's Erst.
Herf Erst.
Adventures in babysitting?
No!
Thank you.
Boom shakalaka.
Paul? That means I was closer
It was the worst guess ever
It was a very logical guess
It's a good guess
It's a good guess
I tend to find that they don't put a word from the title in the tagline
Or if they did, I probably wouldn't use it
Because then it would make it too obvious
It will scare you, yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Like I wouldn't say that if the movie was called
Scare You. When Faith Meets Ambition,
it was gonna be called
Faith.
When Faith, when Ambition Meets Faith,
right after Will and Grace.
Her first great adventure, Paul.
And stay tuned for my movie wrap-up.
Ah!
What is it again?
Her first great adventure.
Disclosure.
Okay.
I want to say
Eat, Pray, Love.
But you're doing very obscure things,
so Eat, Pray, Love 3D.
No.
Damn it.
That was the tagline for Supergirl from 1984.
Cool, man. I don't
know. What do you want?
What is that?
Who plays the current Supergirl on TV?
Melissa Benoist.
And what movie is she in right now on Netflix?
Band of Robbers. That's correct.
Thought I'd give him a gimme.
Gotta give. You gotta give him a gimme.
Give a gimme. You thought he would quiz
all of his actors About their previous
I think he knows, I think you have to
You have to do it
You do, in the audition process
You have to be able to recite that
But does she wear glasses sometimes?
Paul's doing a year wrap up
For his show
I'd really love to get two more actors
Who wear glasses sometimes You'd really love to get two more actors who wear glasses sometimes.
You'd really be doing me a solid.
It's time for a newish game, you guys.
Newish.
Called How High Can You Get?
And it's Thomas
versus the audience.
No, this is a super fun game you're going to love.
Adam gets to go first, and then...
I think I'm still winning, right?
No one's getting points?
No, you won that first game a long time ago,
so now you get to go first in this one.
This is exciting.
A long time ago, fucking...
What does it say on your phone, Paul?
What does it say, time to masturbate?
It says masturbate.
On the lock screen, just very simply, masturbate.
So discreet.
That's a great way to spice up your solo love life.
Siri told me to do it.
Sexy enough.
I also like to imagine that we thought she might say it.
Don't forget to masturbate.
That would be a terrible thing. Because Siri doesn't remind you out loud when you ask her to remind you something.
It's just a text.
I think it's always just a notification.
That's still pretty great.
She did it, though.
Thank you, Siri.
She's on top of it.
She's got to keep track of a lot of weird shit.
You don't want to disappoint Siri, do you?
Siri, thanks for reminding me to masturbate.
My pleasure.
My pleasure as well.
It's a tie, Siri.
What a dirty girl.
She's kinky.
She's fun.
I like Siri.
I like her.
Yeah, I like her. And her and you're gonna love this game thank you for keeping us on track it's a fun fun challenge we're
gonna get from a audience member and you know one's bugging me on Twitter about
this yet because it hasn't really become a thing yet, but who's heard How High Can You Get Before?
One time we played with heist
movies, strangely enough, and another
time we did kids movies.
And you guys would be surprised if you listened to it,
but Sam Levine
mentioned many times that he
doesn't pay attention to kids movies.
And that's why he wasn't good at it. And then
we were like, yeah, you know, kids movies, like
Wizard of Oz, you paid no attention to that in your fucking grown life.
I don't know why I brought that up.
Other than to say, don't give us a shitty genre like kids movies.
And that guy right there, he's raring to go.
But here's what happens once we get the genre.
I don't want to get it yet because I don't want anybody to start thinking about it yet.
Adam's gotta say a movie from that genre
that has only one word in the title.
Then Paul has to say one, Thomas has to say one,
I have to say one.
This is too hard, Doug.
I'll play two.
Whoever of the four of us that gets through that round,
which should be
everybody I hope, has to
say a movie that begins with
that has two words in the title.
You get to level two.
Three, three, three, four, four, four.
We got to six words when we did heist movies.
Whoa.
Right? Heist movies seem a little limited
but once you get going
I can think of one of those all right but
what's this guy got for us horror films there you go okay adam start us off one word horror title
i'm gonna go back to something from earlier and say halloween yeah. Really well done. Really good.
Paul F.
One word horror movie.
Yeah.
Jaws.
Yeah.
I'm not going to argue that.
One of the scariest movies ever.
People stop going to the beach.
Do TV movies count?
No, you can't say it it It's also Stephen King's hit
Right
Full title
Are you really having trouble with this?
Yeah, this is so weird, I'm having trouble
Just think of a famous, really super famous horror movie
And then double check and make sure it's only got one word in the
title I'm getting I got a lot of two words okay weird that this one came to
mind oculus okay sure yeah I would like to go with a name Carrie okay I'm gonna go with Evil Dead the first one was an attempted horror movie was there
one that was just Evil Dead without the the the first one right was just just
Evil Dead wasn't I think it was the newest one. So we gotta take it then.
Yeah, so I guess everyone
got to back the fuck up.
Yeah.
I just...
I guess everyone
relaxed as shit.
It gets tricky, man.
It gets tricky.
I'll show you what
you should have done
when it gets to my turn.
Paul?
Remember how Dick Clark
used to come over
after the pyramid?
What if I had said...
Yeah, I was like, god damn it.
We're on to two words, yes?
The Babadook.
The Babadook, correct.
The ring.
The ring?
Yeah.
Okay.
Show us how it's done. The ring? Yeah. Okay. What?
Show us how it's done.
Are you article shaming?
Is that what you're doing?
That it's like, oh, I guess you could use the movies.
But doesn't Eagle Dead have the in it?
But don't use the.
Why do you hate the word the?
What I'm doing.
What? You hate the word the. No don't know what I'm doing. What?
You hate the word duh.
No, I'm all right with it.
It comes in handy, especially in the next few rounds.
We're going to need it.
It came in handy already.
Yeah.
But I don't need it right now because I'm going to say Halloween 2.
We have been schooled.
All right, Adam, we need a three-word horror movie title.
Army of Darkness.
Okay.
Which I'll be interrupting at Movie Co. in Rosemont, Illinois,
on August something.
With Bruce Campbell as part of his horror film festival.
Paul?
Friday the 13th.
Nice.
No, okay.
But I don't know if there's a...
Okay, hold on.
He turned into a beer baby.
I don't like it anymore.
I'm going to be the one that ends it here.
What are we, on three?
Yeah.
No.
I don't even know if there are any other three-word movies.
Yeah.
Not just in the horror genre, period.
Okay, okay, wait.
What?
The Grudge 2.
Yeah, okay, wait. What? The grudge two. Yeah, okay.
I was just thinking,
do they make a sequel to the grudge match?
I was thinking grudge match.
No, no, no.
And that would have been scary
to see those guys box again.
But I'll go with...
Don't Look Now.
What was that again?
Okay.
It was more creepy than horror-y, but you know,
I'm in charge.
What movie was that, though? I can't remember.
Nicholas Rogue, Donald Sutherland, Julie Christie.
Oh.
Real creepy one.
Riveting.
We're all afraid of four words, aren't we?
I'm not.
Oh, you got one already?
Unless Adam says the thing I'm about to say.
Don't do it, though.
Nightmare on Elm Street?
No.
That's not what I was going to say.
Yeah, because you would have said A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Is it A Nightmare on Elm Street?
Mm-hmm.
Even though many nightmares occur
during the course of the film.
Why do they name it like it's a play?
A Nightmare on Elm Street.
The name of the movie is
A Nightmare on Elm Street?
A Nightmare on Elm Street, yes.
They might have dropped the uh
on some of the sequels.
I don't know.
What section is it in at Blockbuster?
A or N?
Oh, it would be under N,
but that's what makes my game so much fun
is that I'm a stickler for no good reason.
Do you have another one that's got four words in it?
Okay, I get another shot?
Yeah.
Okay.
But you have to jack off in front of us.
Just as one shot.
Okay.
Do you need a reminder?
All right, all right.
I'm going to give you one.
I'm going to give you one, and you may argue with it.
Okay, I can't wait.
But I think that this is a horror movie, because we've been talking about it.
There will be blood.
What?
It does promise blood.
When faith...
It does have murder.
When ambition meets faith in a bowling alley
and creepy music
and deaf children,
horror abounds.
That was going to be the tagline.
Hey, don't look now. Does the game end
if he gets eliminated or do we just keep battling?
Oh, we keep going. We did
accept don't look now.
I forced it through
though.
There's elements of horror and there will be
blood. It's not a horror genre for
sure. Oh, well now that you just admitted it,
you're out.
But it is officially
a horror film.
You didn't let me finish this thing.
According to Paul F. Tompkins' Hollywood Entertainment
News story. Let me ask you.
I saw some parts of that movie were
very horrific.
Back to you.
Paul, come upstairs for grilled cheese.
Because that was taking place
in your basement. Do you have a four-worder, Paul?
Drag me to hell.
Yes. Okay.
The hills have eyes?
Yes.
Don't answer the phone.
No, I'm just saying that to Paul
because I don't want him to masturbate.
Paul, five words.
Five words!
Five word horror film.
A Nightmare on Elm Street.
A Nightmare on Elm Street.
A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Uh-oh, when you bust out the mouth, air horn,
you know things are cracking.
I'm going to stomp on that name tag right now.
Fuck.
I'm getting to four, but you've got them.
You've got one. I'm good.
I got a six.
Okay.
Uh... I got a good one.
Good five.
Uh...
Benjamin Button.
Colon.
Watch out, kid!
You're out.
Fair enough.
No. No, the Blood and Benjamin Button are the two scariest movies.
Can you imagine a double feature?
You'd never sleep again.
The People Under the Stairs.
Okay.
Six words, Paul.
Friday the 13th, Jason takes Manhattan.
As you take out a rapier and draw a line in the sand You don't think there's a number in that one?
No, I don't
I think the title is
As I said it, sir
Okay
The little girl down the lane.
Seven.
Seven.
Seven word horror genre title.
In the history of cinema, there have been many scary films.
The titles range inward number from one to 12.
Seven words. word number from 1 to 12 seven words not now it'll help you think damn it Paul masturbate It's hard.
It's a real tough one, right?
Help.
Oh, no.
There's a knife there.
I keep thinking of ones that just fall short.
But sound like they would have enough words to get there.
I have my ten word one.
Easy.
It's tough.
I know.
It's like, I feel like...
Don't say it, but does anyone in the audience have one?
I'm sure they do.
Oh my God. Okay, okay. sure they do. Oh, my God.
Okay, okay.
Hands shot up.
Many, many people.
Everyone here has a second word.
Many people.
God damn it.
Joey, stop screaming at your podcast.
But he can't think of a seven-word horror movie.
He's a fucking idiot.
Joey. It's easy. You said you were going to look for work today. He's a fucking idiot People tweet them to me like You guys are so dumb
Why didn't you say this
Well because we didn't get to think about it
And tweet it the next day
And no one was staring at you
While you were thinking of it
You fucking asshole
Hey hey hey you guys could be thinking of it. You fucking asshole. Hey, hey, hey.
You guys could be thinking. You know what? You're right.
Yeah, I think I...
I don't want to eat up all the time. I think we should maybe call it.
I think I'm out. So we could play another game.
But you're the winner of this game, Paul.
Congratulations.
Ole, ole,
ole, ole.
Wait, but I won because you also couldn't think of one.
Is that correct?
Well, I was thinking about, wasn't there like Saw II and the importance of being ignorant?
Or something like that?
That's Birdman.
Yeah.
What do you guys got?
I know what you did last summer.
I know what you did last summer.
And then eight is I know what you did last summer too. We could have gotten to eight. No, I still know what you did last summer. And then eight is I know what you did last summer too.
We could have gotten to eight.
No, I still know what you did last summer.
Oh, what's wrong?
I still know what you did last summer.
Oh, so there's no part two.
You're right.
It's just I still know what you did.
What else?
A girl walks home alone at night.
Oh, a girl walks home alone.
What's an eight word one?
What?
A nightmare on Elm Street.
Dream walk.
Dream walk.
Listen to these guys.
A nightmare on L3.
Three dream warriors.
Did anyone go up to nine?
Who's got a niner?
I knew it.
Fucking pussies.
Yeah, dumbasses.
Suck it, DX.
Woo.
All right, we got time for one more game.
It's still anybody's game.
Anybody can win.
Paul gets to go first, though, because he won that one.
And then we'll go to Adam and then to me and then to Thomas.
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm okay with that.
Okay.
You got your rally cap on, I see.
Yeah, yeah.
I turned it backwards like Stallone in Over the Top.
A real man's movie.
Someone in the audience had a suggestion for Last Man Stanton.
That's where we just get an actor or actress and take turns naming movies they were in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
Yeah, I know.
More pressure.
And where is... This is a very simple Twitter handle,
I don't know how you got it.
AJDS.
Yes.
AJDS?
Yes, AJDS.
Is that what it's short for, AJDS?
Yes, it's just financials.
Okay.
What's your full name?
Adam J. David Shea.
Thank you.
What's your address sir?
Last four year social Expect a letter
What do you do man?
For a living
Do you breathe in and out?
For a living?
Do you eat food?
Do you sometimes wear glasses?
How many times a day do you talk with Siri?
For a living.
Alright, so what do you have for us today for the last minute stand?
You came from Portland, is that true?
Yes.
Okay, you came all the way from Portland to be here.
Which one?
The one in Maine.
It's Stephen King.
What is it?
What do you got for us?
Kevin Kline.
Kevin Kline?
Kevin Kline.
Interesting one.
I mean, the show's got to be over soon anyway, so.
I'm thinking of movies, but not the titles.
I'm not going to fight it.
You're just like seeing them in your mind.
I'm seeing images.
But here's the wrinkle, you guys.
There's a wrinkle.
Uh-oh, he's got his hunched shoulders again.
The name tag you're playing for is your lifeline that you can use once.
Oh.
Fun, Doug, fun.
Yeah.
Okay, now I'll play.
But Paul already knows a Kevin Kline film.
Yes, I do.
Go ahead.
Dave.
Great movie.
It's fun, right?
It's a fun movie.
It's a fun movie.
Blah, blah, blah performance by Kevin Kline.
French Kiss.
Sure.
It's my favorite movie.
I'll go with
Fish Called Wanda.
Oh, no.
I can't do it.
McLaughlin, what do you got?
What a team you guys are.
Come on, Tom Stone.
He's not in Barcelona, is he?
I'm not guessing that.
What?
In-N-Out.
He's saying In-N-Out.
No, he's just suggesting somewhere to go after the show.
Get a nice burger.
In and out.
Did Paul say, do you eat it in and out?
Is that what, that stuck in your brain and that's why you said that?
Oh, okay.
I just, you know, I'm trying to figure out how people's brains work.
I didn't say in and out.
I think he's crazy.
Wait a second, so for the past hour,
everyone's been talking about hamburgers, right?
Buddy, you're nuts.
Paul, you're up again.
I'm going to say Fierce Creatures.
Okay.
The unofficial sequel to Official Love. Of course, that's what it is.
Adam? A Midsummer That's what it is. Adam?
A Midsummer Night's Dream.
Yeah.
Excellent choice, sir.
It's my favorite movie.
Wait, now hold on.
Ooh, I just thought of a good one.
Oh, fun.
Oh, fuck.
Ricky and the Flash.
Right.
Great movie.
I didn't say it was a good movie.
I just think it's a good one for this because no one else would have thought of it.
Wait, did you?
Oh, yeah.
You used the lifeline.
That's right.
Yeah.
What did you... Oh, yeah.
You used the lifeline.
That's right.
Yeah.
None of those titles help you out?
Oh, yeah.
You could just say Dave 2 or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dave 2.
I would have watched that.
I would have watched Dave 2.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sure.
Yeah, dudes.
It's called Yeah, Dudes.
There's a movie called Yeah, Dudes,
and he plays like a skateboarder,
and he always shredded.
Okay.
What's it matter?
What's any of this matter?
Back to you, Paul.
Hello.
I'm going to say The big chill oh of course your favorite
movie I know my back was hurting oh that's an old joke as shit you want to
go to your lifeline yeah Yeah, I need something.
I need a Julian. Can you help me out?
Yeah, kick him into overdrive.
Last Vegas.
Last Vegas, of course.
It was like Space Cowboys,
but on the ground.
And they weren't doing anything worthwhile.
No mission. Just hanging out
in Vegas, being mad at each other.
The idea of old people going to Vegas.
Can you imagine?
Yeah.
The crazy shit happens.
They're all like, my hip.
I'm trying to decide between...
Oh, that's rude.
He's got options.
Sorry.
One out of six is hard to pick.
Wild Wild West
is my choice.
How do we not remember these?
You did me?
I am assuming my title didn't...
Oh, I thought it would be funny
to let you continue.
Because the same thing is just going to happen every round. Well, I was like, thought it'd be funny to let you continue. Because the same thing's just going to happen every
round.
Well, he was in...
Oh, yes, of course. Which one?
He was in the
96 NBA
slam dunk competition.
And they
made a
theatrical release film out of that.
So, that counts.
All right.
Paul?
The January Man.
Oh.
Whoa.
All right.
Can I go to Paul's lifeline?
He hasn't used it.
What happened?
Can I use Paul's lifeline?
You want to use my lifeline?
I'm pretty sure I am.
He's playing a character
where he's got like
a thin mustache.
Yes, yes.
What fucking movie is that?
And he's like,
oh, and is he a bit gay?
Or maybe it just is
effective.
Well, you can't tell.
Yeah, yeah.
He's super enthusiastic.
I think that's
half of his movie.
Oh, that helped me
think of one, though.
Oh, good.
Is he in... Sorry for getting so think of one, though. Oh, good. Is he in...
Sorry for getting so close to you, Paul.
Let me just get some of your brain.
Is he in...
Is he in some kind of a Robin Hood movie?
Like some kind of an animated uh deal uh finding nemo finding nemo's great cast but no
i love this guy why can't i think of his movies well you know i i'm just happy you're here today
i love you to death is another Kevin Kline movie?
Middle Ditch.
Yeah.
Road to Perdition 4.
Still
driving.
Paul?
Soap Dish.
Oh, nice.
Y'all crazy.
Y'all crazy Klein fans.
You're the Klein heads.
Grand Canyon.
Oh, yeah.
Mm-hmm. Uh,
he played,
he just had a walk-on on Dude, Where's My Car?
Just for a second.
Super funny.
Correct, Paul.
Chaplin.
Oh.
Chaplin.
How about
Silverado
Why won't you
Come to your
Sentences
You've been out
Out of bed
For so very long
Are you doing a harmony
Or are you just saying the words right after I sing them
It doesn't matter
I mean it worked Whatever you were doing it worked Are you doing a harmony or are you just saying the words right after I sing them? It doesn't matter.
I mean, it worked.
Whatever you were doing, it worked.
He's in Julia, Julia, Julia.
He's the middle one.
You got another one, Paul?
This is really, This is pretty impressive.
I feel like I do.
I don't think Kevin Kline could name this many.
Is he English?
Like, British?
USA, baby!
Okay, okay, okay.
He just feels British.
I feel like there's one floating on the edge of my brain
they're shaped to me then I don't even I don't even know floater you guys have
live lifelines oh oh shit do a nice one what do you got
Wow that question mark at the end did not inspire confidence yeah my life is a house Wow That question mark at the end did not inspire confidence
Yeah, my life is a house
He was in that movie?
Yeah, he is
It does sound familiar
Doug, I'm going to say my life is a house
I'm going to have to go to the judge
Nate?
We're good
Okay, we're good
Nate Nate from the three point line Nate!
Nate from the three-point line!
Yeah, it seems like a...
That internship is paying off, buddy.
Well done.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
What?
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Going? Oh. Oh.
Going to bed.
Dougie,
baby.
He's dreaming Kevin Kline movies.
Is that allowed?
I can't think
of another one.
Yay,
I won.
Paul F. Tompkins
is our winner.
I was out. That was it.kins is our winner! I was out.
That was it.
Thank you, Nate.
I was out.
So, Nate, you did it.
Yeah, come get your bags.
Yay!
Yay!
It's a paid internship now.
Nate, who played for you last time?
Lamorne Morris.
Winston for New Girl.
When's the...
I mean, what Kevin Kline movies did we miss?
The Ice Storm.
The Ice Storm, motherfucker!
Thin Mustache!
I'm just kidding, I'm kidding.
What's the one with the thin mustache?
The Pink Panther?
The Hunchback of Notre Dame!
Will pirates
sometimes wear glasses?
Pirates of Penzance.
Wasn't it just called Pirates?
That's a different movie. that's a different movie.
That's a different movie.
It's a Christian McNichol
and a Blue Lagoon guy.
Oh, this is so fucked up, man.
But,
Adam,
what do you got to promote, buddy?
You know,
a lot of,
everything I'm doing right now
is like writing,
so nothing's coming out too soon,
but we just finished this short
with Sarah Silverman called You Can Never Really
Know Someone that's out there on the internet, so you can
see it. You can watch it.
That's a six-word or that one.
Yeah, it's kind of a horror film.
It's like there will be blood.
And Adam
Nee on Twitter, N-E-E.
Yes, sir.
Thank you so much for being here, dude.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you so much For being here dude Thank you for having me Alright Thank you so much
Paul
What would you like to plug
Hi
I have a podcast
Called Spontaneanation
Which
Thank you very much
That comes out Mondays
Part of the Earwolf Network
And I will be going on tour
To Australia
With Comedy Bang Bang
Me, Scott Ackerman And and Lauren Lapkus in August.
And you can go to paulftomkins.com slash live to find out when things happen.
Oh, and I'm going to do the Meltdown tomorrow night.
One of those tapings.
Very nice.
Come by that.
Those are fun.
Thank you, Paul.
Thank you, Doug.
Thomas Middleditch.
Well, look out for a movie called Joshy.
It went to Sundance last year and is now out.
With Adam Pally?
Crazy Cats.
Adam Pally.
Wow, you're terrible at all these games.
Kevin Kline.
Brett Gelman.
Freddy Krueger's in it.
Freddy Krueger.
Hey, Freddy Krueger is in it.
It'll be on Hulu.
And also, I think it's got
a little limited theatrical, but check it out
on Hulu. It's a real good one.
All right.
And Silicon Valley.
Silicon Valley. Silicon Valley.
You'll have to watch it on HBO Go
because it's already concluded.
Yep.
But season four will be coming out.
I think this guy wants to know about when's next season.
Oh, this time next year.
Whenever Game of Thrones comes back on.
We're on right after, peeking out.
I should say
BoJack Horseman
Comes back to Netflix
July 22nd
Alright, alright
I thought I had a thing
Next Los Angeles
Doug Loves Movies
Is Thursday, August 11th
At Meltdown Comics
What's up, Thomas?
And Jenny Slate
Is in the movie
Of Joshy as well
Why the fuck
Were you gonna ask me Who else is in Joshy?
I was going to do Marcel the Shell, Marcel the Shell.
I don't know why I couldn't.
I'm terrible for this particular show of remembering names.
Maybe you could try some Ginkgo Biloba or something.
Yeah, man, some Mad Chronic.
Nate, I feel so bad about this, but you got
your phones ready?
Because I figured out a better way to crush
it than my foot. That seems
dangerous to me. Like I might
twist something. I bet I know
what you're... Yeah.
Oh, no.
Don't do it. Do it.
Do it.
That was better than we thought it was going to be.
That was satisfying.
Proop survived with his stupid glasses.
And so did you, Doug.
They all survived.
Oh, wait, they all survived.
How was that?
They were impervious.
Wait, what?
They were impervious.
Look at the bottom of that thing.
Hold on.
Is it not solid?
Is it not solid? Is it not solid?
I think it's hollow.
We will survive.
Oh, Jesus.
How weird.
One more time for all of my guests, Adam Nee, Paula Tompkins, and Thomas Middleditch.
One more time for all of my guests, Adam Nee, Paul Tompkins, and Thomas Middleditch.
Julian doesn't have a shithead on the back of his name tag.
I do.
What is it?
Lin-Manuel Miranda leaving Hamilton.
Okay, that's an interesting one.
As always, Lin-Manuel leaving Hamilton is a shithead.
And people who watch the basketball game on their phone in the movie theater are a shithead.
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