Doug Loves Movies - Paul Scheer, Riki Lindhome, and Amber Benson Guest
Episode Date: November 6, 2012Doug welcomes funny people Paul Scheer and Riki Lindhome and actress Amber Benson ("Buffy The Vampire Slayer") to an exciting Election Night show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/priva...cy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats
With 50 Azacop or kernels in his feet
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from the UCB Theater
on Tuesday, November 6th, 2 Oceans 12, Election Day!
Oh, yeah!
So we got a few empty seats tonight.
This has been a while since there's been that many.
And I speculated earlier this evening that people are just too excited about the results in this election.
Or they just need to be somewhere where they can be constantly drinking and constantly smoking on something. So we're taking a 45 minute break from drinking and smoking to do a
regular show that I realized that I didn't even load in it like an election
category into Leonard Maltin game. So but there might be some results might come
in during the during the show so we will we will share them even though this is
gonna be most people are going to hear this until Friday
and it will be
extremely old news
but at least
when they listen on Friday
they'll get to hear
our reaction
to whatever happened
if something happens.
Did everybody vote?
All voters?
Got your sticker on?
I got my sticker on.
For some reason
you know the guy
who played Pedro
in Napoleon Dynamite?
He was at my polling station just standing around with a dog under his arm.
And I didn't vote for Pedro, but I did tweet about it.
And then someone told me that that guy's got a twin brother who gets recognized as him all the time.
So now I
don't even know I don't know which one it was so I may have seen him I may have
just seen his brother since it's now November and everyone's thoughts are
turning to holiday films I've retired all of the horror categories
from the Leonard Maltin game.
And for those who are wondering,
in the Saw 4 category,
which is movies I've seen more than four times,
the scary movie was the original Halloween.
And in the buy a fucking tripod category,
the movie was, of course, the granddaddy of buy a fucking tripod, Par The movie was, of course,
The Granddaddy of By a Fucking Tripod
Paranormal Activity, the first one.
Pitch Perfect, the
Killed with a Pitchfork movie was
Friday the 13th Part 3.
And Shack Attack,
Killed in a Cabin, was the
original Friday the 13th.
And Hack to the Future,
which is remakes of classic horror movies.
The answers were Texas Chainsaw Massacre
and Nightmare on Elm Street.
And, oh.
Evil Ernie 4 and Dave D227 suggested,
two different people suggested it?
Night of the Living Head,
which is decapitated talking head movies,
and the answer to that was, of course, Re-Animator.
Oh, and keeping up with the Kardashians,
movies with three or more monsters.
My pick for that one was
Mad Monster Party from 1967.
And it's Mad Monster Party question mark.
And I love that movie.
It's like puppets that are all the famous monsters.
But kind of like the Hotel Transylvania movie
just came out.
Seems kind of similar.
And so I think it's always a great idea
to just get a bunch of monsters together
for a social event. But I don't know why it's always a great idea to just get a bunch of monsters together for a social event.
But I don't know why it's called Mad Monster Party?
Question mark.
From the corrections department, at cancanon underscore Christian, C-H-R-I-S-T-A-I-N,
pointed out to me that Adrian Line directed Jacob's Ladder, not Joel Schumacher.
that Adrian Lyne directed Jacob's Ladder,
not Joel Schumacher.
Yeah.
Lyne also directed Flashdance, Nine and a Half Weeks,
Fail Attraction, and Indecent Proposal.
And Schumacher directed Lost Boys, Flatliners,
Falling Down, and Batman and Robin.
Now, stick all of those into a vat and then figure out who's who.
You can understand my confusion. I mean, neither one of them stuck to a vat and then figure out who's who. You can understand my confusion.
Neither one of them
stuck to a single genre for their
careers.
That would be a fun game that
may pop up in the future
where you just go, is it
Line or Schumacher?
Is it Scott or Scott?
Is it
Tony or Ridley?
Is it Paxton or Pullman?
You get the idea.
And yes, Event Horizon is a horror movie.
Okay, I get it.
It's like two or three people out there,
they think it's the scariest movie they ever saw.
They lost their minds when I said that it wasn't a horror movie.
I just meant that to me it wasn't a scary one.
But now it's on the top of my Netflix queue
because I'm going to watch it again and
report back to you guys how
shitty and not scary it is.
Now it's time for Not For Metaphobes.
I'm told someone barfs
during the crash in flight.
And we have agreement
in the audience.
Was it called flight because Crash was taken twice?
And Vanellope von Schweetz
talks about throwing up in detail in Wreck-It Ralph,
but then she doesn't do it.
She does talk about it, though,
so don't worry when you hear
that part
if you're in a metaphobe
and
someone pointed out to me
Randy Lawson
on
Randy R-A-N-D-I
Lawson
suggested on Twitter
that from now on
not for metaphobes
could be called
Wreck-It Ralph
alright the prize bag
is way too complicated to get into, you guys.
There's just a lot of stuff in there.
If I start unloading it, it's going to spill out over everywhere.
And I've taken up way too much time.
I'm excited about my guests, so let's get them out here.
Please, everybody, give a big, warm Election Day.
Results are coming in as the show progresses.
Welcome to Amber Benson,
Ricky Lindholm, and Paul Scheer.
Ricky.
Amber.
Hello. Paul.
Hello.
I love
looking at your notes.
I mean, they're hard to read anyway, but you should probably just not even I love looking at your notes. Yeah, you shouldn't...
I mean, they're hard to read anyway,
but you should probably just not even try.
Do you want to take out your device
and look for election results?
We've been obsessively looking backstage.
We feel like the show...
You know, the show won't be that long,
so, you know, I don't think...
Nothing major has happened in the last 20 minutes.
Except we have a gay senator, the first one.
Fuck yeah!
Gay senator, everybody.
Thursdays on Fox.
That was Amber Benson,
no relation, you guys.
We're not related. No fucking way are we related.
Yeah, no, right?
But we've sort of known each other for a little while
through Twitter and whatnot.
Because you're funny on Twitter.
I like following you. Oh, thanks. Oh, thank you.
You seem nice on Twitter.
I hide my...
You say interesting things.
You always put links to things that
are mind-opening, right?
Do I? Mind-opening links?
Drug links? No, no, but you know
what I mean? You'll probably tweet a link
about how Massachusetts made medical marijuana legal.
It did.
Yeah.
So that's kind of cool.
And of course, we all know you from, you know,
your amazing lesbian work in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
My muff time on Buffy, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, and...
My rug munching time on Buffy
well you can talk about it that way if you want
but I have respect for those characters
no matter how
wicked they were
it was the only lesbian sex scene where someone was
literally elevated off of a bed
because the sex was so good
I come in the air
while singing about coming
it's pretty subtle Joss Whedon.
It's very meta.
But I recently heard from your publicist,
or a publicist,
for a motion picture that you're in,
that they wanted to get you onto the show.
And I said, you don't know me or my show.
No, she didn't know what UCB was.
She didn't even know what UCB was.
I know what UCB was.
I've been to your shows.
Sure, sure.
I saw Chris Hardwick have Muppet sex on the big screen.
Well, he didn't have Muppet sex, but he brought Muppet sex.
What was this?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if I want to get into it or not.
He did.
We've got a lot of ground to cover.
With real Muppets?
Yeah, there was like Muppet sex, this video clip he brought.
Oh, okay.
Wow.
It was very exciting. Oh, was it the shit show where you play the worst thing that you're in? Rob Hewitt's thing? No, there was like Muppet sex, this video clip he brought. Oh, okay. It was very exciting.
Oh, was it the shit show
where you play the worst thing that you're in?
Rob Hewitt's thing?
No, he wasn't in it.
Oh.
Yeah, that's right.
Paul isn't, I mean, yes.
Rob.
Wait, what?
Anyway, the point I was trying to make
is that I said to the publicist. I said to the publicist,
I said to the publicist,
it's a great idea
to have Amber on the show.
I got this.
And then I just
wrote to you on Twitter
and asked you to do it.
And you said okay.
And so we cut out
the publicist.
It's a very exciting story.
Got to take the rest
of the afternoon off.
I like that.
Yeah, yeah.
But so you're here
and so we have to talk
about the motion picture.
It's called Dust Up,
and there's cannibalism and a cum shot with murder.
Whoa.
Whoa.
That should be on the poster, all of it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's really...
So it's a cum shot as he dies.
I guess that's a spoiler, but kind of.
Well, what else is a cum shot with murder?
Does he kill someone with his cum?
Yeah, like if the Hulk had sex with a lady,
that'd probably be a cum shot with murder. like if the Hulk had sex with a lady, that'd probably be a cum shot with murder.
Or Superman.
If Superman had sex with a lady,
it would be a cum shot with murder.
Because I would imagine the speed of his cum
would come out so quickly.
Yeah.
It would be unintentional murder.
His cum is already super fast, isn't it?
I mean, isn't that the idea?
That's what I'm saying.
But if it's sped up by Superman speed,
that would be like shooting a bullet through your vagina.
Yeah, just shoot right through her
and out her shoulder.
Just shoot out the other side.
After the speed of bullets.
She'd have a spinal injury.
Yeah, you'd be done for.
You don't even need
to have an abortion.
Mm-mm.
Which might come in handy
depending on how things go tonight.
I know, right?
It could go either way.
People who are listening,
you know how it went.
Yeah.
We should say that the people that are here are listening.
They're actually listening.
Right, right, but the people who will be listening.
Yeah, they're not listening to it later.
That's Paul Scheer, everybody.
Paul Scheer is here.
Co-host, part of the triad, the threesome on How Did This Get Made.
Yes.
And I'm very excited because last year you asked me to,
on every episode of your show,
they watch a shitty movie or a movie that's spectacular,
that it exists.
Right.
It's amazing.
And then, so I did Twilight, the last...
You did the... The titles are so confusing. Twilight, the last, you did the,
the titles are so confusing,
Twilight Breaking Dawn
part one.
Yeah,
you did the first
of the last.
Mm-hmm,
first half,
first half of the last,
which we now get to look
forward to on every
goddamn tentpole thing.
Oh, yeah.
They're always just
gonna be like,
oh,
this next one's
the last one?
Let's cut it up
into four parts.
It's so,
yeah.
Yeah,
it's gonna get crazy.
I'm very excited for...
I don't know what,
because I didn't read the books,
but I think it's going to be
just as fantastic as the first three.
It looks kind of...
The trailer kind of looks like
Snow White and the Huntsman.
It just looks like a lot of fighting in the snow.
They actually just took the footage from it
because she's in both.
Yeah, yeah.
All they had to do was just slap it over there.
I'm just happy that they're back together again.
Our Pat and K-Stew.
Sure, they made some mistakes, but guess what?
They're crazy kids, just like Chris Bowne and Rihanna.
We can get through this.
We're young.
We love to do stuff that hurts each other,
but we love each other even more.
Now you are going to be back for the second part
of the finale of Twilight.
For all eternity, they have to love each other.
I guess.
Yeah, because she's immortal now.
Spoiler.
What?
It happened at the end of the last one.
Not a spoiler.
She's immortal.
Unless she dies in this one.
We'll never know.
Spoiler.
Do they have the true death in Twilight, or is that only true blood?
Can they die?
Yeah, you can die as a vampire.
Yeah, they can die.
They get their head cut off.
They don't just run around with no head or whatever.
What's a true death?
A true death means they're dead forever.
But isn't that just death?
No, no, no.
Death is they turn into the vampire.
Oh, okay.
They die.
Their first death.
The true death is dead forever.
No vampire.
See, I don't get all this vampire terminology.
That's when they turn into a pile of guts.
Okay.
Wait, they turn into a pile of guts?
Kind of, yeah. They turn into
like Play-Doh.
Right? They sort of squirt all over everybody.
I don't know. I've never seen true blood.
I used to eat Play-Doh when I was a kid.
It smells so good. It tastes good.
It doesn't taste good.
Line's been drawn.
Line in the sand.
But I was gonna say that
Now that the part two is coming out
In next week
I'm excited to say that
We're all gonna hunker down and look at it
That's like the only excuse for me
To be watching it on opening weekend
And even at that I'm gonna have at least
A few teenage girls look at me like I'm the biggest
Creep alive
I watched it for the last one
all by myself in the theater
weeks after it had been out and I felt
so uncomfortable and so dirty
and I sat in the back and I realized that was a bad
choice.
And then I
was like, ugh, and then I moved down front
and I thought that was even weirder because now everyone
can stare. There's no good place. You should just
stand against the back on the wall looking at it. I gets to stare. There's no good place. You should just stand against the back
like on the wall looking at it.
I don't know.
There's no good spot to be as a single male.
You should take a teenager
because then it'll look like you're their dad.
Okay, I'll do that.
Yeah.
Take a child.
What dad would go along to a Twilight movie?
A good dad.
A divorced dad.
Divorced dad.
He'd have to make up for some stuff.
I'll take you to Twilight.
And then One Direction or whatever.
That's Ricky Lindholm.
Me and my son go to see all their One Direction concerts.
I didn't like them at first, but they're pretty great.
I do a lot of fun stuff.
Ricky Lindholm.
Hi.
That's what I was trying to say.
Ricky Lindholm.
I like to give everybody an individual
introduction. So you bought a bag of
candy that you and she's part
of of course of Garfogel Notes
and you enjoy
stickers and a lighter and a kazoo
CDs
but on the bag it says Garfogel Notes
presents
how many times do you give out
most of our shows we we give out presents.
Really?
Yeah, I used to make those, and now we pay someone to make them.
Wow.
And so he just has all the merch and makes presents for everyone.
That's really cool.
Kate makes cookie pops, right?
At her show.
That's her solo show.
Oh, sorry.
No, no, because that's a smaller theater.
So we play at Largo, so that would be like 300 cookie pops.
That's too many.
That's a lot of time in the kitchen.
Yeah.
Although I did see you threw in the saddest candy of all time
in your bag. What? Whoppers.
Oh, whoppers are good.
Why are they sad? Because of that occasional crazy
dud that you'll hit? Yeah.
It's like a fucking flat tire in your mouth.
Something like that.
It's like having that liquid gum
and then you have nothing inside.
You feel dead inside. The saddest candy are those
caramels. Those weird cow's caramels. Because they're too chewy? Yeah. Oh, you're so sorry. You feel dead inside. The saddest candy are those caramels. Those weird
cow's caramels. Because they're too chewy?
Yeah. Oh, here's something. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
There's a little bit of news. Roseanne Barr is
officially not going to win the election. What?
It's official? They just called it.
They said now it's down to a two
race between Republicans and Democrats. Sexist.
Peace and Love Party is officially out.
What did Albert Brooks say? I recognize
his avatar from all the way over here.
He says, the coolest scenario, Romney wins popular vote,
Obama wins electoral, Gore and Romney become best friends.
All right.
Classic Albert Brooks.
Because they would commiserate.
And you brought a copy of the comic book for your TV program
that's on Adult Swim called NTSFSDSUV.
That's right. It's a comic. The bestTSFSDSUV. That's right.
The best I've ever said it. That is awesome.
And this is a limited edition comic book that was only given out
at San Diego Comic Con.
And you signered it. You signed it.
Yeah, that's cool.
Will you personalize it if I win it?
Yeah, totally personalize it.
Except that you can't win it.
And we got one of the great
I Love Heart Garfunkel notes
shirts, which is
crazy funny.
It's a good bag of stuff.
And Amber brought an actual copy of
the film Dust Up that had those three
things she mentioned in it.
And
people can listen to it now. You don't know
what it is. It's available on Video On Demand
right now, right? Right now. And the Dust Up t-shirt. You don't know what it is. You will. It's available on Video On Demand right now, right? Yeah, yeah.
Right now.
Right now.
Right now.
You can see where it comes from.
And the dust-up t-shirt.
The official dust-up t-shirt.
But I brought really cool stuff, too.
Yeah, you also brought a pumpkin.
But I got even cooler.
You went above and beyond with this pumpkin.
I was at CVS shopping by myself today.
In the self-checkout, because I bought douche.
Whoa.
Yeah, she put a douche inside the thing.
By the way, I just heard. Summer's Eve.
It's called Island Splash.
I prefer
the one
that was fresh scented.
I prefer
gym shower.
I thought you couldn't buy douche anymore. I looked
everywhere for it and I had to ask.
I want one that smells like SpaghettiOs.
Just so you know, it's not...
Oh, that's called Hawaiian Waterfall.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
This is not tested on animals, which is good.
So no animals have been douched unnecessarily.
What animals would you douche if you had to?
Koalas.
God, yeah.
They have nasty vaginas.
Dirty, dirty lady parts of koalas. I damn. They have some dirty, dirty lady parts of koalas.
I just went next door.
Next door is a juice place and they have all these
different shots,
like a wellness shot,
an energy shot,
a brain booster shot,
and then they have
the menstrual relaxer shot.
Now, even if that's
what that is,
who is going to order that
and feel confident?
That would be an embarrassing
thing to do.
I would.
I didn't know they had that.
I can't wait to try it.
I will order that with a straight face and not care.
Uh-oh.
A Mitt Romney mask.
Oh.
It's the ultimate douchebag outfit for Halloween.
You walk around with your douche and your Mitt mask.
Your Halloween pumpkin.
I know.
I'm sorry, you guys.
That was good.
You look like you.
There's no hole in the. There's no hole in the...
There's no hole in the mouth.
But didn't it look like
I was going to join up
with Bodhi and rob a bank?
I did.
I like that.
We should remake Point Break
with all Mitt Romney masks.
That's probably...
Someone should at least do that
with clips from the original movie.
Just change the masks to all Romneys.
Just CGI re-release it.
Would it be Mitt Break?
Ooh, I like that.
And they can say different stuff too
because you can't see their mouths.
So they can say shit like...
That sounds like an episode of NTSF.
With a gun going,
put that in my account in the Caymans.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, so you put a Romney face
and a douche
inside a pumpkin.
And there's a glow stick wand.
And a glow stick wand.
So it really sounds like
you're hoping
somebody's going to go home
and make a night of it.
You really got to
pick your moment with this
because this will only work once,
this glow stick wand.
It was only 66 cents.
All right.
I like going to Halloween
shopping after Halloween. You get great stuff, right? 66 cents. I like going to Halloween shopping after Halloween.
You get great stuff.
66 cents.
Not bad.
Not bad at all.
I also got a, from my fun times at the Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin last weekend, I brought
you guys a Tito's vodka t-shirt, Tito's handmade vodka.
And then also, from Halloween, a guy gave me copies of a movie called Death Nurse.
Edith Mortley, RN, she'll take good care of you.
Good is underlined.
Yeah, wow, that's a really clever.
I feel like it should be in italics.
They worked really hard on that one.
She'll take good care of you, right?
She'll make sure you're comfortable.
They tuck you in, offer free burial service,
and serve freshly made sandwiches.
Dust-up's way better.
Yeah, come on.
Yeah, yeah, this will be good.
You can pop this in.
It'll set the bar super-duper low.
Although that is the 25th anniversary of that movie.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, it's a special criterion version of that. So yeah, so it's a special Criterion version of that.
So yeah, so it's a fun
fun fun prize bag. Very excited
about it. But let's talk to you guys about movies
for a second because that's the
premise of the show.
Ricky Lindholm, I saw
today I forced myself to sit through
your latest motion picture. Fun size?
Fun size. Thank you.
In the theater? Yeah, I was that guy.
How cute was my costume?
Your costume was really, really cute.
Thank you.
That was good stuff.
I played Galaxy Scout.
I was an anime Girl Scout.
Yeah.
Awesome.
With red hair.
Wait, you were animated in it?
No, I was an anime character.
Oh, and she was very friendly
to a fat, tiny, one-armed Spider-Man.
Got it.
Yeah, I befriended an eight-year-old.
And it's not in a weird way.
It is kind of a weird way.
A little bit, I do.
The way you kind of accept that the eight-year-old's out on the dance floor at the nightclub and you're dancing with him.
Why is this eight-year-old on a dance?
Why is he in a dance club?
Because it's a crazy night.
Because he's on the loose.
This kid is on the loose.
Because he's not at Twilight with you.
Oh, I know.
I should get this kid to come with me.
Yeah.
He's a Captain Chicken, and I save him from getting hit by a car.
And I'm like, well, since I saved you, I'll bring you to the nightclub.
And then there's a dance scene.
Spoilers, Ricky.
Sorry.
I want to see how the fun night unfolds for myself.
Yeah, but you get to see Ricky in the outfit she described.
And Abby Elliott's walking around in some sort of Viking outfit.
Did you like it? What's the Doug Benson I Love Movies review?
Oh, I would say something terrible about it if Ricky wasn't sitting right there.
If she already wasn't having such an intense night.
Yeah, I know. I have a rash all over my chest.
I'm so worried about the election.
I can't eat and I can't think about anything else.
I am focused at this moment, but yeah.
I am broken out in hives.
That's real.
So don't insult fun size.
Well, Ricky's a great player at the Leonard Mullen game,
so this might be a chance for you guys to take her down.
All right.
Because she's so...
I'm verklempt.
I almost said that word, but I can't do it.
I feel like that's the only thing if you have hives.
There's no other word for it.
Be hived. That's not a word. It is it. I feel like that's the only thing if you have hives. There's no other word for it. Be hived?
That's not a word.
It is now.
Yeah.
I like that.
You're so be hived.
I'm going to ask the audience,
if you see any important election information,
you raise your hand.
Yeah, if everyone could please
look at your devices
and don't pay attention.
Yeah.
Because I'm seeing people check over here,
and I'm like,
oh, she looks like she's really interested,
but there's nothing.
Yeah, okay. But I didn't know if you had, I don like, oh, she looks like she's really interested, but there's nothing. Yeah, okay.
But I don't know if different campaigns are going right to you.
If someone wins Florida, raise your hand, I think.
I'm looking here and I'm seeing everything pretty much nothing.
Nothing interesting yet.
I like that you're omnipotent.
You see it all.
Yeah, the way you're seeing is you're just scrolling through Twitter
seeing what people are saying about stuff.
You follow a bunch of nut jobs that are going to make
jokes about everything. But at least
they'll make a joke and I can go back and go, what was the joke
about? Oh yeah, okay, yeah, that person won the election.
Okay, there we go.
Have you,
so Fun Size is in theaters now
and it certainly has some
charming moments. Josh Schwartz.
It's not, yeah. I have very little clothes on and and it certainly has some charming moments. Josh Schwartz. Right?
I have very little clothes on and red hair.
That might be somebody's thing.
She's looked super great in her outfit.
Selling point.
If you don't want to wait around for Hell Baby
to see her without an outfit.
Wait, are you naked in something?
Yeah, in a movie I did with Paul Shearer.
Yeah.
Did you see anything, Paul?
I saw it in the movie.
I didn't see it in real life. Liar. Paul's not in the scene. I was not in the scene. did with Paul Scheer. Yeah. Did you see anything, Paul? I saw it in the movie. I didn't see it in real life.
Liar.
Paul is not in the scene.
I was not in the scene.
You're not a liar.
Let's just say that in the movie, it's clear that they're both bald.
I guess that would be true.
No, I was with Ricky the night you finished your nudity scene.
Yeah.
And you got to really party and eat and drink.
I was wasted and I ate so much food.
I hadn't eaten anything real in weeks.
You were going to be naked in a movie diet.
Which instantly makes you not hungry at all.
Everything looks disgusting.
For weeks and weeks and weeks. And then we went
out and partied. It was great.
I met you guys and you're like, drink these hurricanes.
I'm like, great, here I am. I gotta get somebody
to write me in as a naked person in a movie.
Come on, just give me a shot
I think I'll look good for it
I like it
have you been to the movies lately Paul?
yeah I saw Wreck-It Ralph
so much fun right?
yeah Wreck-It Ralph is great
it's really really good
I'm friends with Jack McBrayer
and Sarah Silverman, and they just laughed at me
when I asked them.
I said, what was it like to be in those video games?
You know, they looked so,
looked like they were interacting
with all these crazy characters.
And I said, that was, that was all, you know, animation.
And I didn't get that.
I thought that was all live action.
So I got to watch it again and see the subtle things
in there that I missed the first time. It was like makeup, you know. I thought it was all live action. So I got to watch it again and see the subtle things in there that I missed the first time.
It was like makeup.
I thought it was makeup.
They put a funny nose on Jack McBrayer.
It was like a makeup thing.
And they did with Sarah what they did with the dwarves in Huntsman.
I thought it was like Cloud Atlas shit.
It was total Cloud Atlas shit.
Total Cloud Atlas shit.
And then I was like, now I hear it's animated, so I could go back and see it.
Also,
saw Bart and Fink
for the first time.
I gotta say, guys,
check that movie out.
It's good.
These Coen brothers
are going places.
You'd never seen it.
I'd never seen it.
And decided to give it
a whirl one night.
It was on Netflix.
I did a bunch of movie watching
because I was on an airplane.
So I was like,
just going through them.
Didn't watch Wreck-It Ralph
on an airplane.
No. I watched a comedy with Tim Heidecker. How is that?
I highly recommend that. I just downloaded it
on iTunes. Yeah, if you like comedies that
are dramas. Yeah, the title
is The Comedy. It is not
a comedy. Yeah, they don't make any bones
about it once you're in. The title is probably a
bad title for that movie
to have a comedian on the front and call it
The Comedy and then have it be a drama.
But that's his sense of humor. I think he's
tickled by the idea that people are going to be mad.
Yeah, sure. Probably.
Because they weren't prepared.
And I saw Safety Not Guaranteed. Did you see that?
I saw that. It's so good.
That's really good. That's freshly
out on DVD.
That's one of my favorites of the
year, I think. That's really good.
Sure. Amber?
I saw Argo
last night.
Was it good?
Don't fucking clap for me because I think Ben Affleck
needs to get out of his movies.
I'm not a fan.
They're still clapping for you.
I thought the movie was great.
I just was like, he's so boring.
And I actually was attracted to him
for the first time ever.
I was like, I would fuck him.
Because he looks fucking great with that 70s, 80s.
And he does all these interviews about how embarrassed
he was to go out in public with that look.
It's like, you look good, dude.
I would do him. I think that means you look okay.
Reasonably.
Sure, sure, sure.
But that was some harsh criticism.
I like him.
I would like to actually mention,
and I don't like to plug other people,
but the robot in my show, NTSF,
actually made the jump from small screen
to big screen in Argo.
Sam, the robot, is in it.
They use the same robot that we use.
He's on posters and everything.
Yeah, he's the robot.
He's the only robot in the movie. Yeah, so he's at posters and everything yeah he's a robot he's the only robot in the movie
yeah so he is
he's at the table read
you know
Amber would beg to differ
she's saying
there's two robots
in the movie
yeah
there were two robots
in the movie
no
I was like
anybody else
and I'm sure
he's a lovely man
and he should just direct
because he's a great director
you didn't like him
in the town
I liked him in the town
I didn't see the town
me too I liked the other one the gone I didn't see The Town. Yeah, me too.
Me too.
I liked the other one,
The Gone Baby, you know.
He wasn't in it.
I know because he wasn't in it.
I think he's a good actor.
But his brother was.
Am I crazy?
I like him.
His brother's good.
Well, you know,
there's some instances
in Ben Affleck's career
that aren't so good.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no.
Reindeer Games.
Aren't so good.
Yeah.
Yeah, and like, you know,
Gigli, of course.
Gigli, though,
I give everyone
a star
for that one, because you know what?
They all gave it their all. They committed
to a love story centered around
two people trying to deal with
a retarded man. Yes, and you know
what? Just for that fact alone,
go, go, go with God.
You did a great job there.
That's like saying
you jumped out of a plane wrong.
They all jumped.
They all lived.
Yeah, sure,
it wasn't the pretty way
to go down,
but they made it.
They landed
and they lived through it.
That movie is insane.
Everyone's safe now.
That movie is insane.
It's one of those rare movies
where you hear so many people
talk about shit about Gigli.
You should just go see it
because it's awesome. I mean, every time you think it can hear so many people talk about shit about G. Lee. You should just go see it because it's
awesome. I mean, every time you think it can't
get crazier and weirder, it does.
I like that you think it's still in theaters. You're like, you should go see it.
Go see it in theaters.
It's playing in repertory theaters all
over the country. Yeah.
On a double bill with
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Really weird double bill. Really weird.
I don't know why they did that.
I almost went and saw that again on the big screen.
Oh, I did.
You did?
Yeah.
What did you say?
I said there's a big ball in Raiders of the Lost Ark,
so maybe that's the connection.
Yeah, similar personality.
I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark,
and I was excited to see it on the big screen.
Yeah?
It's great.
Yeah.
It really works, right?
Yeah.
Like, that's the formula,
is that, you know,
George Lucas and Steven Spielberg,
they should hire, like,
a really brilliant person with screenplays
to write their movies.
Have you talked about the Star Wars thing?
Yeah, yeah.
People are pissed.
I'm like, well, it's a chance to make a good one,
because if George Lucas isn't involved,
it might be all right.
You know?
It might be.
It might suck also.
I heard that Matthew Vaughn
was going to direct it today.
What?
Yeah.
That could be really good.
Sure.
That'd be great.
I'm in.
That makes sense
why he dropped out of X-Men.
I'll give it another go.
Yeah, come on.
See what happens.
Good.
X-Men was good.
Kick-Ass was good.
Although some people
hate Kick-Ass.
Do you guys like Kick-Ass?
I like Kick-Ass.
I didn't like it.
You didn't like it? You didn't like it?
I didn't like it. I think I'm in the minority here.
Why didn't you like it? I don't know. I was just kind of I don't know. You were going to? I just didn't
get into it. You know what it needed for you? It was little Ben
Affleck. It needed little Ben Affleck with a
shag. I immediately changed
my opinion on things.
Because when a movie is
in politics, there's no winning
proposition. People are like, I hate a kick-ass.
I'm like, yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, I could see that.
And whenever I'm in a group of people that hate a movie, I easily change my opinion.
I didn't hate it.
I just didn't love it.
It wasn't blown away.
You weren't blown away.
Yeah.
With repeated viewings, I find that I still am very enamored with the Hit Girl and Big Daddy.
She's amazing.
They're my favorite team
in a movie of all time.
I just think their dynamic is great
and I hope they figure out a way to...
But you know what?
As much as I don't love him all the time,
to me, Jim Carrey is perfect
for the next one.
Oh, he'll kill it, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, the pictures of him
and the crazy military garb. He's like a he'll kill it, I think. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the pictures of him and the crazy, you know,
military garb.
He's like a military superhero
and it just looks crazy.
I'm excited.
And awesome.
And he has a dog.
I, yeah.
I'm very excited about all that.
That's great.
Ricky.
Yes.
Motion pictures you've seen?
The last one I saw
was Fun Size.
Wow.
And Safety Not Guaranteed.
I have, gosh,
I don't even know
what before that.
I watched Top Gun
again recently.
What was your favorite
part of Fun Size
that you weren't in?
Oh,
um,
I think Chelsea Handler's stuff
when she like
gets all vulnerable.
I was like,
aw.
Yeah,
that was good,
I guess.
And the stuff at the grave.
I like that,
you know what, no, I changed my mind. I like the end at the grave. I like that. You know what?
No, I changed my mind.
I like the end with the kid.
I like that little kid.
Oh, you liked all that shit he did at the end?
Yeah, Jackson Nichol.
Okay.
I can't.
I'm like you, Paul.
I can't argue with her about it.
I was like, yeah, you're right.
I did have a pretty good time with that.
Fun Size was good.
Yeah, all right.
I didn't see Fun Size. I'd like to good. Yeah. I didn't see Fun Size.
I'd like to see Fun Size.
I auditioned for Fun Size.
Didn't get it.
Really?
Yeah.
Aw, you would have been good.
Did you audition for Fuzzy?
The guy who works in the 7-Eleven.
Yeah, Fuzzy.
Tom Middled.
Fuck that guy, man.
Fuck Middleditch.
God.
Fucking Middleditch.
Middleditch to me was like TJ Miller and,
oh, what's the name of that guy that's on that show,
that new show, Kate and somebody.
Oh, Ben and Kate.
Nate Faxon.
Oh, yeah.
Nat Faxon.
Totally.
Yeah, Nat Faxon.
He's got like a hint of TJ Miller.
Yeah, Nat Faxon and TJ Miller had a baby
and it's Thomas Middle Ditch.
I can see that.
Paul's like the walking IMDB.
Everything, like he knows the answer to. Oh, yeah,. I can see that. Paul's like the walking IMDB. Everything,
like he knows the answer to.
Oh yeah,
he's good at that.
Very impressive.
Well,
thank you.
You'll see that sometimes
that doesn't work out
in the Leonard Malt movie game.
That's correct.
Does anybody hunger for games?
I hunger for games always.
Let's do it.
Let's have some
election night games.
Let's have some fun
while we still can.
Do you see they're doing
a parody of Hunger Games
called The Starving Games? That's real. They're making that movie. Let's have some fun while we still can. Do you see they're doing a parody of Hunger Games called The Starving Games?
That's real.
They're making that movie.
That's real.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
They have to parody everything now.
They're making a Hunger Games parody
called Starving Games.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's clever.
Yeah.
Out of the gate.
They've thought of a funny way
to change one of the words in the title.
It's like one of those Twitter games
where people are just doing every stupid variation. It's like one of those Twitter games where people are just doing every
stupid variation.
It's going to be amazing.
They couldn't call it the Dehydrated Olympics?
That sounds better, yeah.
I just like how that show
Revolution clearly is like,
Hunger Games is popular. On our show, we need to have a young girl with a bow and arrow.
That would be great.
It seems so transparent, like all the Hunger Game ripoffs.
But isn't Revolution better than Hunger Games?
Really?
Yeah, Jordan says so.
I did not love the movie.
I like the books a lot, and then they get aggressively worse, the Hunger Games books.
But the movies are going to get better, I think.
You think?
I have a feeling, yeah.
Who's been added to the cast?
Somebody amazing was added to the next one.
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Philip fucking Seymour Hoffman.
That's good.
Thank you.
I can't believe Andy's here tonight.
That's great.
He's getting people the word out about the master.
Going around to local places.
He'll be at Nerd Melt next week.
Just you can ask him any question
you want. He'll be at the improv
on Saturday night. I like to go to places
that are showing the master
and just stand around out in front of the theater
like this.
Visual joke.
Doug is standing like...
Like Joaquin.
Joaquin.
All right, you guys.
Let's pick some name tags.
We got to decide
who you're going to play for
in the Leonard Maltin game tonight.
Special election edition.
Just get up and...
There's one.
Take the name tag.
Guys, I'm starving.
That speaks to you.
I'm for real hungry. Can I open these?
Oh my gosh.
Does anybody have one that Amber might particularly like?
Oh my gosh.
Is there anyone named Amber?
This is a present for you, Doug.
Those are pretty great.
Oh yeah, those are awesome. Thank you.
Can I open these?
They're a bunch of Doug Lo's movies buttons.
Just pick a name tag you want to play for in the game.
Or anything that anyone's holding up stuff.
You can see signs, the trophies.
Anybody you want.
Oh, you're just going to slap your hands
around until you find somebody?
These are good.
That's an interesting approach.
I pick food because I'm hungry.
I always pick food on the Doug Loves Movies game.
Thank you for that.
Alright, you keep it over there at your seat
Is your name Allie?
Where did you write
Who's the Asshole on this?
Shithead, you don't have a shithead on the back?
That's alright, we'll work it out
We'll make it
These are people that aren't shy, they'll come up on stage
and write it down
But at Tweety Claire
Tweedle Claire,
Tweedle Claire made all these buttons for me
and I love them. Those are awesome buttons.
Thank you. She likes you.
She's going to walk out of the show tonight and they're just
going to be all strewn on the sidewalk.
You guys got like
food and I got a driver's license.
Throw them on the ground.
I'm glad I didn't have
the cake put in my hand.
All right, so Paul,
the cake is from...
What kind of cake is this, Allie?
Chocolate.
Chocolate.
Chocolate cake.
Chocolate cake from Allie.
And forks.
And forks.
Two forks.
Two forks.
Share forks.
I love the way she's like,
share?
I don't know.
It looks really good. I'm going to take a like, ah, Cher? I don't know. It looks really good.
I'm going to take a bite.
Wow, we're on a dude date.
Let's do it.
Aw, you guys are so...
It's like Doug and Carrie.
Zach Galifianakis and dude date.
It's like you guys
are mutually getting
over a breakup together.
It's really good.
We're just eating
some chocolate cake.
It's good.
Oh my God.
Great job, Allie.
Do you want to listen
to Adele again?
Just one more time.
And then we got to seriously go out.
We have to go out.
Let's go see...
I'm choking on the cake.
Let's go see Jessie.
It's the last forever.
Get in on that.
Oh my god.
I got icing all over my phone it's good
this is a very icing cake
here
you can move it over here
thank you Allie
it's icing intense
which I like
I do like the icing the best
it tastes like
funfetti ice cream
without the fetti part
it's good
nobody knows what you mean
funfetti icing
with the little balls in it
is that like
dipping dots made in ice cream yeah kind of I'm excited you guys don't know funfetti icing? With the little balls in it? Funfetti? Gop, gop, gop, gop. Is that like dipping dots made in ice cream?
Yeah, kind of.
I'm excited.
You guys don't know funfetti icing?
No.
How many people here know funfetti icing?
Wow.
Wow.
Boom.
It's so good.
It seems the room is divided.
I feel like Mitt Romney in a room full of Latinos right there.
Topical.
She hits a topical joke.
That's it.
That's all I got.
Who are you playing for, Amber?
I'm playing for Mark. I can't pronounce
your last name. It's G-I-E-S-E.
And you're an anatomical donor.
Oh, nice.
What? That means he's giving his dick if he dies?
Is that what that means?
What else could that mean?
He's also got corrective lenses.
Is it Geis?
Geisy.
You take a nice picture, Mark.
He does.
That's like a movie star picture there.
He's an Oregonian.
All right, don't read everything off of his card there.
You don't want to give away too much.
What's a social?
Real quick, what's a social?
All right, Ricky, who are you playing for?
I am playing for the Eclairican Pretzel Dent.
Someone named Claire, I'm assuming, right?
On a bag of pretzels wrote the Eclairican Pretzel Dent.
And I got it because I was hungry.
And those are delicious.
Are those dark chocolate pretzels?
Milk.
Oh, milk.
Yeah, but they're still delicious.
And what's the name on there again?
The Eclairican Pretzel Dint.
It's like the American President.
Oh.
Right.
Way to go, Claire. Yeah. Good one, Claire.
Good one, Claire.
Claire.
I applaud it because there's a lot of work on that one.
I believe there were probably two name tags written out before that one was completed.
No, one. You did it in one shot.
You didn't try Clariots of Fire?
It wouldn't have been
topical.
Alright, we'll let Amber pick a category.
Oh, god damn it. Alright.
Just because it's your first time.
You can do it. Oh, that's right. I'm popping my
duck cherry.
Oh, you got like an O.
That is a way to put it.
And yeah, so I'm going to let you pick
and then we'll go to Ricky.
I'm not good at games.
Ladies first.
Just so you know, I will lose.
Just not on purpose.
It'll just happen.
That's a terrible thing to say.
All right, do you want to give the guy his ID back?
Because he may have...
I'm sorry, Eric.
I'm sorry.
If you lose, he may have a heart attack
and then somebody's going to run in
and take his dick.
I didn't mean to read your text.
I don't want to be here when it happens.
It's like when a dead person turns to a zombie.
I don't want to be around for that part.
All right, give me the options.
Okay.
The At Below Zilch category is a fun one,
because it's called Doug Loves Guests,
and this will be a movie that one of my
three guests tonight is in.
Yeah, so
it's an interesting
one. And then Ice Ice
Baby is movies with either Ice-T, Ice Cube
or Jennifer Grey.
And celebrating a birthday
today is actress Emma Stone.
So the films of Emma Stone
hmm
I'm gonna go for
the balance, the middle, the ice ice
ice baby
you okay with Emma Stone though?
I like her
she's good right?
you don't really like her
apparently I'm
no you're honest so that's interesting to me I'm honest I'm... No, you're honest, so that's interesting to me.
I want to hear this shit you've got to say about everybody.
I'm Lincoln. It's the presidential election today, you guys.
Just FYI.
But for the people listening at home,
you know who won.
We don't.
You're smarter than us.
In this moment in time,
they all know something that we don't
That's pretty important to know
But we will
When we listen to it later
Our future selves will be smarter than we are now
Why don't we do this
We'll leave a pause
Just a blank pause
You can yell at who won the election
If you're at home
And then we'll respond to you
What?
Oh my god
Holy crap
I didn't see that one coming.
Whoa, that was a nail biter.
Right down the wire.
Man.
Okay.
Obama.
Leonard Maltin gives this movie from 1997 that has either Ice-T, Ice Cube, or Jennifer Grey in it.
He gives it two stars.
He says the film is about a
documentary film crew,
and he also says
that it was followed by
a sequel, and that
it's fun.
He says it's fun.
So he's all over the place with this one.
Come on, Leonard. Get your shit together.
And he names eight performers that are in the film.
How many do you think you can name it in, Amber?
Three.
That is a severe opening bid.
You know it's from the bottom, right?
I know. Do you want bottom, right? I know.
Do you want to take it back? No.
Okay. I told you I'm a failure.
Name that movie.
For sure.
Paul, you know you want to do it in two.
Oh, I can't though.
He's out of the mix.
I could name it in zero.
That's how confident I am.
But yeah, but Ricky...
I know.
Jesus Christ, people. I'm in zero. That's how confident I am. Wow. But yeah, but Ricky... I know. I know.
I'm hoping Ricky would challenge it.
All right.
Jesus Christ, people.
Go ahead.
Give me the two names.
Or three names.
Three names.
Or three names.
You'll get it.
You'll get it.
It's so easy.
Don't say that, Paul.
We don't even know each other, and I'm already annoyed with you.
Oh, sorry.
At least you're being honest with me.
Vincent Castellanos.
That guy.
Of course.
I love his work.
Owen Wilson.
Oh, is this Anaconda? Are you still confident?
Is this Anaconda?
And Kari Wuerer.
Is this Anaconda?
That's correct.
I knew it.
Wow.
Wow.
I would never have gotten that.
I'm glad I challenged you.
Would you have gotten that, Paul?
Yeah, 100%.
The documentary film crew is what got me on that one.
Is Jennifer Lopez in it?
Yeah.
But that was my thing.
Would you have been number one?
Top build, yeah.
Yeah, she took home the prize on that one.
And our boy Ice Cube.
Our boy.
That's not a good way to put it.
What movies has Ice T been in?
He's been in a few movies,
but mostly he's been the SUV guy.
SVU guy.
He does the best listening across the room.
Anyway, people are like,
yeah, so this murder happened over here.
He goes, oh, really? And then he'll walk over from across the room. Anyway, people are like, yeah, so this murder happened over here. He goes, oh, really?
And then he'll walk over from across the room.
He is always so far away
and listening to a two-person conversation.
Not only does he hear what they're saying,
but he has pertinent information
to exactly what they just said.
Oh, really?
Do you mean to tell me?
That's what he always says.
Well, this is interesting, Doug.
It looks like Obama has won the election.
What? Shut up. the election. What?
Shut up.
Shut up.
What tweet are you reading?
Is it Andy Milonakis?
Well, he won Ohio.
So he won Ohio.
Did he win Florida?
Ohio.
Fox News even called Ohio for Obama at this point.
Did he win Florida?
We don't know yet.
I need that minstrel shot.
I need it now.
But that's where, now the rest of my goddamn life,
I got to say that I heard it from you.
Yep.
Yeah.
I have loved ones at home
that are going to tell me.
You heard it from me.
Barack Obama just tweeted,
this happened because of you.
Thank you.
He did not.
Did he really?
I think so, yeah.
That sounds like he's saying he won.
Let's see. What does he say? I think I'm going to That sounds like he's saying he won. Let's see.
What is he saying?
I think I'm going to cry, for reals.
Well, he said four more.
I know, can you believe you're winning the game?
I feel my rash going away already.
These are the tweets that Barack Obama gave out.
This happened because of you.
Thank you.
We're all in this together.
That's how we campaign.
That's how we are.
Thank you.
Four more years.
Four more years?
He said it himself?
Yep.
Wouldn't that be crazy
if he went off the deep end
and just started tweeting that shit
after losing?
That's so crazy.
I know.
Nope, nope.
I'm not going to move out.
You can't get me out.
Very exciting.
Look at that.
We did it.
A historic Doug Benson podcast.
This is like the same time
that we...
Remember when you did
the podcast
when JFK was assassinated?
I was here at UCB
when Obama was assassinated.
I was backstage
and Sarah Silver
ran a down stunt.
What?
No, no, Osama.
No.
Oh, my God.
No.
No.
You're just like,
fuck you. Osama. Osama bin Laden. You're just like... No. No. Osama. No. Oh, my God. No. You're just like, fuck you.
Osama.
Osama bin Laden.
You're just like.
No.
No.
Osama bin Laden.
And Sarah Silverman announced it on stage.
Everyone was like, what?
It was hard to tell if she was joking.
But yeah, Osama.
Oh, my God.
Why did I say that?
I don't want that.
That's Vanellope von Schweetz.
You never know what she's up to.
Oh, my gosh.
I sound terrible.
Yeah, I don't want that.
My main man.
She's so great in that. All right. So. Oh, my gosh. I sound terrible. Yeah, I don't want that. My main man. She's so great in that.
All right.
So.
Oh my God.
All right, there it is.
Hot damn.
Anyway, back to the game.
This is like we just did the countdown to New Year's.
I know.
And now.
Okay, but Doug.
Anaconda.
Give us a little bit more show.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Now, more importantly, we need a winner of Douglas movie.
Yeah, we got to get this over with.
We've got gloating to do.
Yeah.
We've got to get out into the streets and start street gloating.
Yeah, Fox News has already projected Obama as the winner.
So if they're doing it.
Yeah, Fox News is only going to say that.
If it's absolutely true, because.
That's my favorite tweet ever.
They'd never live down that mistake.
Yeah, that would be a bad...
You gave it to Obama. He wasn't even
close. Good work,
Fox News. Alright, there it is.
Alright, so Amber has a point. She's playing for
anatomically correct
corpse over there and
his name, I forgot
what's his name Travis Eric
Eric
okay
I'm gonna ask you
every time
and
Ricky challenged
so that means
Paul is gonna go next
and then
we're gonna go to Ricky
and Paul gets to pick
between the following categories
at
Dizman7
D-I-Z-M-A-N-7
suggested
Ugg of's
oovies
which is movies where someone has had their tongue cut
out of their
out of their mouth
and Wilbur the Cat suggested
Argo
and that's movies with pirates
in them
and at Snitty
S-N-I-T-T-Y
Snitty suggested Mystery Movies-I-T-T-Y, Snitty suggested mystery movies.
Mystery movies.
Which is movies that have the word Mr. in the title.
Yeah.
Those are some really curious, very specific.
I'm going to do the Argo.
Okay.
This is a movie that's got pirates in it.
Okay.
It's from 2003.
Okay.
Leonard Maltin gives it two and a half stars.
He says about this movie that it is...
There's no reason for it to be quite so long.
And he also says,
he really doesn't say a lot about it,
oh, stylishly designed and shot.
And then he lists eight actors
and actresses, of course.
Called them actors.
Now, I'm stuck with
sequel possibilities on this one.
I'm going to say...
Alright, I'm just going to take a jump at it and go
zero... I'm going to say...
Damn.
One name or zero names?
Zero names. I'm going to go zero names.
Alright, so... Ricky gets to'm back to doing 40 years.
Yeah, Ricky gets to drop the hammer again.
He can't name the eighth actor, so name that movie.
So, yeah, you have to name it with no names.
Well, Doug, I was confused at first
because there haven't been that many pirate movies,
but there's been three pirate movies,
and I have no idea when they've all come out.
So I'm going to just go with classic
and go Pirates of the Caribbean.
More specific.
Dead Man's Chest?
Wait, what was the second one?
That's wrong in two ways.
It's the Curse of the Black Pearl.
Fuck!
Point goes to Ricky Lindholm!
Nice.
First one or the second one?
I don't know.
Oh.
That was a tough one.
I don't know any of those.
That was the first one, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I should have gotten it then.
I said it was the first one.
I said, no,
Dead Man's Pearl.
Come on.
That's part of the fun.
I guess, yeah.
The full titles will fuck you over.
I should never be those fucking pirates.
Okay, we're back to Amber gets to pick a category
and then we'll go to Ricky.
At Chives the Butler suggested
you only live 23 times.
You only live 23 times.
Is that like Bond stuff?
That's Bond movies, correct.
Because there's been 23 of them
with the release soon of Skyfall.
You excited about that Skyfall?
Do you like Skyfall?
I liked the one before it, whatever it was called.
Wait, the one that...
You liked Quantum of Solace?
Yeah, I liked that Quantum of Solace.
Okay.
I mean, it was fun.
It was one of the most exciting ways
to kill a villain in the history of James Bond
here let's leave you
out in the desert
and all you can drink
is this can of oil
I think I just like
what's his name
the actor in it
I think he's sexy
Daniel Craig
yeah he's hot
I just go by
what's hot guys
just like that
little actor
I'm like horny right
okay
I'm horny for Obama
so there's there's for Obama so there's
there's that category
then there's also
the King of Pancakes category
which is the number one movie at the
North American box office 10 years ago
to this very day
10 years ago to today
and I'll give you one more crack at
Doug Loves Guest movies where
let's do the guest one right
okay Amber this movie that features I'll give you one more crack at Doug Love's guest movies where... Let's do the guest one, right? Okay.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
Amber, this movie that features you or Paul or Ricky...
All right.
...is from 1993.
I wasn't even alive in 1993.
I'm like, so...
1993?
Yeah, and know. I'm like, so... 1993, how old was I? Yeah, and it's about...
And Leonard says about it that it features vivid depictions.
He also says that the movie has often harrowing detail.
93 or 2003?
And he also says he gave it three and a half stars. And it's 93.
And he also says it's exceptional in every way.
And either you or Ricky or Paul is in this movie.
I think this is you.
It's obviously Amber.
And they list, Leonard lists seven, ten, 13 names.
I can do it in one.
13 names.
I can do it in one.
Doug, I can do it in one.
Can you do it in one. 13 names. I can do it in one, Doug. Doug, I can do it in one. Can you do it in negative names?
No.
She only needs one name.
Well, I have no idea what it is.
Ricky.
So name that movie.
Is it King of the Hill?
Let me tell you your one name.
Oh, shit.
Just because it's fun.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
Katherine Heigl.
It's fucking King of the Hill, dude.
That's correct.
King of the Hill.
What's King of the Hill?
I loaded this movie up because that's what people say. That's correct. King of the Hill. What's King of the Hill? I loaded this movie up
because that's what people say.
It's so good, right?
The lead actor is Jesse Bradford
who's done a ton of shit since.
Swim fan.
He was pretty little at the time.
Bring it on.
And bring it on.
Bring it on.
Yeah, that's better.
We don't usually jump to swim fan
when we're talking up Jesse Bradford.
But then Jaron Crabbe
is the second billed person.
Lisa Eichhorn, Karen Allen, Spalding Gray.
But it is about, I'll tell you what Leonard says about it.
It's pretty interesting.
He says, it's one of the most vivid depictions of the Depression era ever captured on film.
And like I said, he says it's exceptional in every way.
And Amber is a few names up above Katherine Heigl.
Absolutely every way.
And Amber is a few names up above Katherine Heigl.
Yeah.
But when I saw you in that movie, I thought you were great in it.
And I really liked that movie.
It's so good.
Check it out. It's on Netflix streaming right now.
It's a little bit of a bummer.
It's not a, you know.
I have a seizure on camera.
It's not a happy time.
It's not a real one.
Not a real one.
An acted one.
Yeah, they just, Soderbergh, you know how he is.
He caught her seizure on camera and was like,
well, that's her character now.
It's going to do it for real now.
The girl with the seizures.
I just wish the year had been later so it was less clear who it was.
So I'm the old person at the table is what you're telling me.
No, you've been acting longer.
No, you've been acting longer.
You were the most seasoned, successful in the most movies.
Yeah, you played a child in this.
Yeah, I was just a child actor with issues.
You were a child actor with issues.
That's why I did Dust Up, where there's a cum murder.
I was kind of hoping we wouldn't hear that again.
Aren't I great?
Don't I just set up well?
Yeah, and you won our game.
You're the winner.
What?
Yeah, yeah.
Took me a while to add up the points.
Mark, it's for you, baby. I had to figure out the winner. What? Yeah, yeah. Took me a while to add up the points. Mark, it's for you, baby.
I had to figure out the math.
You're anatomically correct in every way. Yeah, so
you win all this stuff, dude. Come and get it.
You get the pumpkin with the douche in it.
Have fun explaining that at the bars later.
Please don't.
Yeah, and be careful of the comic book.
I don't want to ruin the comic book because it's so cool.
He gets it all. Wow. Yeah, he gets everything of the comic book. I don't want to ruin the comic book because it's so cool. He gets it all.
Wow.
Yeah, he gets everything.
He gets it all.
All because of you.
Got it?
All right.
Congratulations, man.
Now, Allie and Claire need to come up here and write down somebody for me to call a shithead
because that, of course, is the consolation prize.
But yeah, I loaded in King of the Hill so that I would not, so I'd remember
to bring it up tonight
because I really,
it really is good.
Yeah,
come on up today.
It's on Netflix?
Netflix streaming.
Just use some white space
and write it down,
yeah.
Just like Dust Up
will be soon.
Put it in your queue
on Netflix.
Yeah,
Dust Up is available now
on Video On Demand.
Yeah.
It looks cool
from the cover.
It looks cool to me.
You can't see the cover.
I'm badass in it. What do you play?
Who's your character? I'm a mom who
shoots people and shit.
With cum?
That would be hard to do.
Do you have some of those Katy Perry
guns?
What'd she write?
She was commenting.
That's a good point, but go ahead and
write one down.
Paul Scheer,
where can people see you? What are you doing?
At the League every
Thursday night
at 10.30. We're in the middle of that season
right now.
That's it for right now.
Yeah, that's it. Enjoy that and the podcast.
Yeah, yeah. He's really nice. Everyone should go see his stuff because he's really nice. He. Yeah, that's it. Enjoy that. And then the podcast. Yeah, yeah.
He's really nice.
Everyone should go see his stuff because he's really nice.
And he let me look at his phone.
Yeah, we had a little election.
Pretty sweet of you.
We bonded.
We did.
The three of us.
We're connected now.
This is the best panel
of all time.
Wow, you were writing
a long shithead.
Yeah, this is insane
how much writing she's doing.
Yeah, there's crossing out.
It starts off,
call me Ishmael.
All right. Wow, I'm excited out. It starts off, call me Ishmael. All right.
Wow, I'm excited to see what these are.
And Ricky, what do you got going on?
Well, you can still see Fun Size.
And Much Ado About Nothing should be coming out soon.
Ooh.
It's really good.
I'm so proud of it.
Toronto Film Festival favorite, Much Ado About Nothing.
That's just weird.
What do you play, Ricky?
Crazy genius.
I know.
I play Conrad.
Yeah.
How many times in that
does the word
Tesseract get uttered?
I don't recall.
Probably a lot less
than in Avengers.
Yes.
I'll be doing stand-up
the night before Thanksgiving
at the American Comedy Company
in San Diego
and I'm doing
Douglas Movies
and a Benson movie
interruption
of a secret
holiday classic
in Austin Texas at the
Alamo Drafthouse on December 6th
wait they let you do that at the Alamo Drafthouse
interrupt a movie that's very exciting
we're talking really not allowed in those
theaters so it's really special
that's very exciting
thanks again to my guest
Ricky Lindholm
Amber Benson,
No Relation,
Cum Killer,
and Paul Scheer,
star of
SVNTSDLQR7.
Just put in consonants in your DVR,
you'll find it.
Just put one hand over one eye.
Thanks, Doug.
This is really fun.
Wait, you gotta hear the shitheads.
Yeah, it's time for the shitheads.
As always,
if Obama really won,
no shitheads tonight.
Woo!
Ah.
Yeah, he really did win,
but we have to have another shithead.
People who use pics of their babies
as their Facebook profile pics
are shitheads. Yeah. Obama! who use pics of their babies as their Facebook profile pics. Oh, shit.
How about that?
Obama!
It's time for Doug to come to Doug's and talk to you.
Guys, the world is viewing
Crowe as fake, sick, cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.