Doug Loves Movies - Pete Davidson, Sam Roberts, Jerry O'Connell and Sean Jordan guest
Episode Date: August 4, 2015Live from the Gramercy Theatre in New York City, Doug welcomes Pete Davidson, Sam Roberts, Jerry O'Connell and Sean Jordan to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and ...California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Hey everybody, you know Craig Robinson, right? From The Office and Hot Tub Time Machine and Doug Nose Movies.
He's got a great new comedy tomorrow on NBC from the producers of The Office called Mr. Robinson.
How do I know it's great? It stars Craig Robinson as from the producers of The Office.
Then it's the premiere of The Carmichael Show starring one of the most buzzed about young stand-up comedians around.
This guy's hilarious, Jared Carmichael.
David Alan Greer, also hilarious, plays his dad.
You won't want to miss it.
That's premieres of Mr. Robinson and the Carmichael Show
after America's Got Talent, AGT, tomorrow night on NBC.
Doug Hakes, candy rapper screaming baby sticky seeds
with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey, everybody!
My name is Doug, and I love movies!
This is I Love Movies!
Ha ha ha!
It's been a minute, so I knew it would be a good one.
Coming to you once again from the show's favorite home away from home,
the Gramercy Theater in New York City!
Thank you!
It's Monday, August 3rd, 2015.
Let me see your name tags.
You guys.
Always some good ones.
Some people sitting up front going,
what name tags?
What are they talking about?
Carrie movie instead of scary movie.
Nice.
The Minch stole Christmas.
Your name is Minch? Christmas your name is minch
your last name is minch
yeah no wonder you're a grouchy
dude that ruins holidays
ha ha ha
Devin Decker's day off
Devin's always has the biggest sign right up front
like you know if you're right up front you can do a small one
ha ha ha
like this dude over here
it's my blue Kevin oh Justin sorry a small one. Like this dude over here.
It's my blue Kevin.
Oh, Justin, sorry.
I just guessed Kevin before I saw up close
that it was Justin.
And you've got,
it's a mad, mad, mad,
mad, mad world?
No.
What is that saying?
Give me that thing.
Oh, it's around the world.
I thought it was a mad,
mad, mad, mad world.
Around the world in Katie Days.
Aw.
Nicely done.
Wreck-It-Paul.
That's a good one.
Space Jam.
What'd you change that to?
Space Jamie.
Space Jamie?
Space Jammy.
I put on my Space Jammies.
Go to bed in my astronaut bed.
That was stupid.
Is this some sort of
Mission Impossible
thing you got going on here?
Yeah, it's Mission Impossibility.
Mission Impossibility?
Dug Nation?
Alright.
Maybe I'd like that movie if it was called Doug Nation.
I mean, I'd have to.
Oh, Peter Racerhead.
I like that.
That's a nice one.
And it's on a selfie stick.
Finally, a decent use for a selfie stick.
Well, thank you.
Oh, there's a doggie over with the name tag Doug, because he's
the dog from Up.
Oh, Rocket Raccoon
and a Minion and a...
Holy shit, you guys.
Too many good ones to describe. Thank you so
much for bringing those. Are there any up in the
balcony up there?
Good job getting here early enough
to
get those sweet balcony seats.
That's where everybody goes first, especially if you've got a name tag.
You just run up there and like, well, there's always one guest that'll come all the way up here
and then not pick anything because they saw something up close that they should have picked in the first place.
I don't know. I like standing when I do the show here for some reason.
It makes me feel more like, you know, Adam Levine or something.
I love that movie, Begin Again.
Douglow's Movies will be back right here next Monday, August 10th,
because I miss you guys already. not only can everyone here tonight
purchase tickets for next Monday's
show at the box office
after this show, like you can get a drink
and then stand in line inside
hanging out with all, discussing
why your name tag didn't get picked.
And then
wait for, bless you, somebody
sneezed, I'm a full service podcaster.
And then you can purchase tickets to next Monday night's show
with the service fees waived because you bought them here.
Like you take fucking Ticketmaster or whatever out of the equation.
And then the reason you want to get tickets for next Monday's show is because you'll get the fees waived when you wait after the show and buy tickets for the second annual 12 Guests of Christmas show here on Monday, November 30th.
So everyone who's here next week gets a first shot at those.
I wouldn't be surprised if all 400 people
just buy them
and then that's it.
It's done. Then you've got to sit around by your Twitter
waiting for someone to go, I have an extra
ticket. Does anybody want it?
Which I think happened three times today.
Did it work out for everybody?
You worked it all out? That's great.
Did I mention that when you buy them here
the service charges are waived? Yes, I did.
Doug Lowe's Movies is also coming
to Kansas City, Missouri, Dallas,
Texas, Seattle, Washington, Orlando
Jones, and more.
So go to
DougLowe'sMovies.com
for more info. Now it's time
for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.
Passive future guest Ken Jennings tweeted.
Jeopardy champ Ken Jennings tweets silly shit like this.
Animals it's okay to kill in Africa.
One, mosquitoes.
Two, terminally ill zebra that signed a DNR.
See, that's what I'm saying.
He's getting a laugh on two.
There's still number three.
There's still a third animal that's okay to kill in Africa.
And it turns out it's the Nazi monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Chronic Con, episode 420.
A New Dope is on Netflix today you guys
being here watching this show
is your only excuse for not
watching it right now or not
having Netflix or
not wanting to watch me get high at
Comic Con those are all good reasons
ladies tonight is for you because
let me rearrange these chairs just a little bit. Because we have, we'll trim that up
in the edit
that I'll forget to do
it's going to be
Magic Mike XXL
up here for you ladies
tonight because
the panel is all dudes
glorious dudes
please give a big warm
welcome to
Pete Davidson,
Sam Roberts, Sean Jordan, and Jerry O'Connell. It's a polite bunch, I like that.
Nobody wins the Pete Holmes Award.
I know. Let's start with the first time guest, you guys, sitting directly to my left, professional broadcaster, primetime
Sam Roberts is here, everybody. Or as I like to call you, you could say something if you want.
You could say, like, hey or whatever.
Hi.
I like to call you now Sam Robots.
Why?
Because you've really bummed me out
with all your talk about how robots
are going to destroy us all,
because I believe it's true now.
Yeah, it's scary.
It's very scary.
See how fast food workers, they are making $15 an hour now,
so McDonald's is going to replace them with the automatic things.
Yeah, and then those things, they're not going to get my order, right?
No, and nobody's going to be working.
It's going to be robots everywhere.
Those robots are going to put rat poison in my burger,
and I'm going to be done.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't care for it one bit.
So thanks for putting that in my head, Sam Robots.
Thanks for being here for your first time.
I heard you actually listened to the show a little bit to prep.
Yes, I had to prepare.
Not only did I listen to the show, but I Google imaged what the name tags look like.
Yeah, that's commitment.
Because he really wants to make the right choice tonight when it's name tag picking time.
I picked the guy that's got a jacket and tie on. Did you come from work or something?
Yes.
Okay. Glad I cleared that up.
Because if you said, no, I didn't come from work, I'd be like, what an a-hole on a hot day in New York walking around with a suit and tie.
Someone who's not an a-hole, that's a smooth transition.
Another first-time guest, Pete Davidson is here, everybody.
Star of the motion picture, Trainwreck.
Great job, yeah.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, you're great, isn't it?
Thank you.
And also a little program called SNL.
Coming back this season.
Anything we can look forward to or you're looking forward to?
Does everyone on SNL just ignore anything?
Like, not even think about what sketches you might do?
Because it's still all the way into October.
Yeah, I haven't thought about it.
Like, do you look at any of those 20 people that are running for a Republican and figure out which one they're going to stick you with?
I don't even know what a Republican is yet.
I don't know.
I know I'm supposed to be a Democrat, I think.
Oh, really?
I think, like, he's here.
Do they got a Bernie Sanders wig for you or some shit?
Like, bald with crazy hair on the sides?
Uh, no, I just, I have no idea about politics.
I'm very stupid.
I know, I just don't fucking care.
They're gonna make you play one, though,
because there's so many of them.
I don't think I'm old enough to play.
I mean, uh...
You could, well... I think I'm would be riding the bench during those sketches.
It'd be racist if you were Bobby Jindal, but he looks really young.
But, you know, throw some glasses on and a Texas accent,
and I'd buy you as Rick Perry any day.
Oh, thank you.
Also, returning to the program, it's so great to have him back.
We figured out backstage it might be three years since he's been on. Yeah, it's Jerry O'Connell, everybody.
Thank you. Thank you. Pretty sure I'm undefeated here. Pretty sure. Adam Scott may have gotten
me last time. I was pretty drunk last time I was on this show, so I don't remember. But
I thought I did well. It's all going to change show, so I don't remember, but I thought I did well
It's all gonna change today O'Connell. Oh no. Wait, what are we playing for? Might as well
Oh, what's going on?
Doug? Doug? Doug?
He just looked at me as you were introducing him and went, there's games?
There's games? What games? I love games
I guess I didn't have to google it
no but you're going up against
some tough competitors
on the other end
Jerry is it true that the film was called
Jerry O'Connell until they cast
you in it and then had to change it to Jerry Maguire?
Are you okay?
That's going to be my...
I hope this dude in the suit is a doctor.
Are you a doctor?
Is there any sort of ear, nose, and throat person here?
Because Doug Benson is having a...
Are you stroking out?
Are you having a sugar coma?
Do we need to get you a Skittle or something?
What is happening here?
A Skittle would hit the spot.
No, I...
I have this new onstage persona that I'm working on,
which is a guy that chokes for no reason
on occasion because he has a problem
that doctors haven't been able to figure out yet.
I might have one of those new things,
like the first person that couldn't stop hiccuping.
No, the film was always...
I was in a film called Jerry Maguire many years ago.
My name is Jerry O'Connell.
So no, the film was always called Jerry Maguire.
But now, when I walk down the street,
specifically here in New York,
people point at me and go,
Jerry Maguire!
So that is my name, sort of.
Then they take out a gun
and say, show me the money.
It's good to have you back on the show,
and it was also good to see you in,
because it was mostly people that were
on the TV show for all the years it was on,
the Veronica Mars movie.
Yeah, it was really good.
Yeah.
Yeah, you slithered
in there somehow.
You know what?
I actually know
all those guys. I think I replaced someone at the
last second. I mean, I know you're not supposed to
say that. But you look like one of the lambs,
the Sheriff Lamb guys. Right, right.
It was a real honor to be there. Rob Thomas
is a really talented person, and so
is everyone else, so it was an honor.
And finally,
it's Portland, Oregon phenom,
Sean Jordan, everybody.
Sean Jordan.
Sean Jordan is here, everybody.
Hey.
You said Oregon.
That's weird.
It's Oregon.
Not that that matters, but it's not funny. I get weird. It's Oregon. Not that that matters,
but it's not funny.
I get that.
It's fun to say things
wrong sometimes.
And also,
you do it long enough
and you think
that's the right way
to say it.
Sure.
But,
what are you doing
in New York City, buddy?
A friend of mine's
getting married.
So,
it's my first time
in New York City.
Spent a bunch of money
I didn't have
to go to a wedding
I don't want to go to,
but then I get to do this, so it's fucking awesome.
He is a huge fan of the show, though, so his name's Greg Coulter.
I just had to say it. He's going to listen.
All right. We'll bleep it out. Don't worry.
He's fantastic.
God, I hope you do. It'll be tight.
Greg, I said it, man. Nobody gave a shit.
There's a dude leaving already. That's interesting.
That's Greg. He's going to get married right now.
Going to
the chapel.
Where is that guy going? You going to take a dump?
It's a weird time for that.
But I guess you can probably hear it in the
restroom and it's just like you're listening to the show
at home.
I never thought about it until just now, but a lot of shits
are taken listening to this podcast.
Probably.
It actually helps me go.
If I'm traveling
and it's clocked up, I don't smoke anymore, but I mean,
I just throw on this podcast and whoop, all good.
It's like an audible cigarette.
Just greases it right out. It's good.
Greases it right out. It's good. Greases it right out.
So, Sean.
Yes, Doug?
You, uh, we were talking backstage.
I knew that you guys would be excited to see Sean
because he's only been in West Coast episodes of the show,
but you're familiar with him.
And then he's good at the games.
And then he tends to bring stuff that he purchases,
which touches me, for the prize bag.
Instead of your own schwag,
you bring stuff you bought at the store
on the way over to the show.
It's what I watch when I eat movies.
That's what it is.
It's what I eat when I watch movies.
So what do we have for the prize bag from you tonight?
Oh, check this shit out, though, dawg.
Some Sour Patch Kids gum.
Some of that Act 2.
A couple more Sour Patch Kids boxes.
A used copy
of the pianist.
And a used, a heavily used copy of
Waitress.
It's broken on the inside.
Do you like Waitresses more than penis? Yeah,. So you like waitresses more than penis?
Yeah, yeah, I like waitresses
more than penis.
A lot more.
Alright, bring those gifts
to me. Oh, everybody's having some gum?
I'm good, I'm good.
I just saw Top Gun recently.
Oh, yeah, the rest of it's for the prize bag.
You should have said Top Gum.
I saw Top Gum recently.
And, of course, Tom Cruise does have the Top Gums.
And that tooth right in the middle of his...
Those guys are all...
They're always in front of, you know,
superiors in the military.
Even though they're Top Gun, it's weird that
they're all chewing gum all the time.
Yeah, but he's a wild card, though.
All of them are. Iceman.
Oh, I'm sorry. Let me know if you can hear this.
Goose.
That looks great for the podcast.
I think it was for two reasons.
One, it relieves stress,
gum, and that's a highly stressful job
being a Navy pilot. So And that's a highly stressful job Being a Navy pilot
So maybe that was a character choice
And also, you can see their cheekbones better
Like, you know, when you do that cheekbone thing
That you do when you're doing your headshot photos
I'm sick of you Gum apologists
It's just rude to do
In front of somebody important
Or on stage
Like, you wouldn't go out with gum in your mouth
Is that why your last show closed so fast?
You had gum in your mouth?
No, I'm not really...
I know he's not hurt by the idea that the show closed fast.
No, I'm not really a gum chewer.
I'm just not.
I've never happened.
It's a stance to take.
I know.
I mean, I'm not offended by it.
It's got wheat in it, and that kickstarts not offended by it it's got wheat in it and that
kick starts your hunger for
other things that have wheat in it
aka carbs and you don't eat carbs
that's why gum is a good thing to avoid
it's not true I made a joke
about that backstage because you
asked me to try the Lay's
biscuits and gravy chips
and I just didn't want
to eat it
because it just sounds gross to me.
And I said, oh, I don't do carbs.
And you guys are like, oh, fucking Hollywood.
God, I just do carbs. Fuck you.
I'm a fucking chip.
Somebody's not admitting how much they like those biscuits
and gravy chips, though.
They're leaving that out of the story.
I don't want to get in trouble with one of Doug's sponsors,
but it was aight.
Don't worry about my sponsors.
At least not on this sponsors. What's Top Gun?
At least not on this episode.
What's that?
Pete's young, everybody.
He doesn't know Top Gun.
It's a movie where
our fighter pilots go off
and fight some random villain
that is never really named
or thought too much about.
They just wear black masks
while they're flying planes.
You know it's the Russians.
Okay.
And they just shoot them down
and then play volleyball
with their shirts off.
You know, Kenny Loggins
had two big hits
from that movie,
Playing with the Boys
and Danger Zone.
A lot of people forget
Playing with the Boys,
but it's a classic.
Yeah, because there's nothing
more homoerotic under the volleyball
scene than someone singing in a
high-pitched voice, playing with the boys.
There's a lyric in there.
One of the lyrics is, after chasing sunsets,
one of life's simple joys is playing with the boys.
Why would you take your dog tags off
before you play? You've got to have them on the whole time.
In case you get killed on the volleyball court.
People gotta know who you are.
Poor Goose has to wear a shirt
because he'd be embarrassed to be shirtless in front of those.
He's got that doughy cool guy body.
First body to die in an incident.
So,
we did a movie interruption of Top Gun.
Spoiler alert, everybody. We couldn't get a laugh for five minutes after Goose dies we did a movie interruption of Top Gun and spoiler alert everybody
we couldn't get a laugh
for five minutes
after Goose dies
because
of course all the jokes
were about Goose being dead
and why don't they
take him to an ER
and that kind of thing
and
yeah
so it was
it was tough
it's really
it's still an emotional
moment in that film
probably probably the only one is when poor Goose dies Yeah, so it was tough. It's really, it's still an emotional moment in that film.
Probably the only one is when poor Goose dies.
Similar to when the Nazi monkey dies in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Okay, let's see what Jerry has something small enough to fit in his pocket for the prize bag. Yeah, I love playing the lotto.
I love lottery. Ito. I love lottery.
I do it all the time.
I especially play the Powerball
when it gets big.
If it gets over 40 million,
I invest pretty heavily in it.
I know that may not be
the wisest thing to do
with my money
now that I have children
and I have to save
for college and stuff,
but if I hit it,
who's going to be
fucking laughing?
It's a free ride right there.
But I did get someone,
I mean, my prize is $10 in QuickPix
for the Powerball.
And,
I mean, it is yours,
obviously, if you win it, but
I mean, I wouldn't mind a little
bit of a piece of it if it hits.
It's got Lay's biscuits and
gravy chip crumbs all over it.
Because you had to
pick the numbers.
No, it was quick picks.
I just said,
give me quick picks
and I'm going to do
Doug Loves Movies.
All right.
$10 you spent on that.
Yes, I did.
That could have gone
for your children.
All right.
Did you ever find
another dead body?
It's Doug. Did you ever find another dead body? Doug is referring to a film I was in
called Stand By Me where the four boys
look for a dead body.
He wasn't even born yet.
I saw that.
That fat kid ate stuff and threw up.
Yeah.
It's a classic.
Eat that shit, goose.
Yeah.
Stand by me.
Stood the test of time.
Was your name Vern in that?
My name was...
Why are you acting like you don't know what it is?
You text me Vern.
I'm Vernon your phone. Why are you acting like you don't know what it is you text me Vern I'm Vern in your phone
why are you asking that
as a question
I saw you
and you just gave me
a fist bump downstairs
I haven't seen you
in three years
and you go Vern
and you come up
on all these nights
and you go
and say
what's your name Vern
and what kind of a man
are you
was it Vern Tessio
these are all lies everyone I just want to confirm it after that Was it Vern Tessio?
These are all lies, everyone!
I just want to confirm it after that Jerry Maguire O'Connell hair that I made earlier.
Just dipping my toes in,
seeing what happens.
Well, thanks for bringing that for the bag.
And Pete Davidson,
through no fault of his own,
didn't bring a prize.
I got $20. Who wants it?
That's terrific.
They're really winning with this.
The lotto ticket is a waste of money.
Those DVDs are going in the garbage.
I guarantee it.
But then also backstage,
we had some Chips and Hoy birthday frosting filled.
And then they have the nerve to put in big letters,
artificially flavored.
Because birthday frosting is such a natural thing.
You've never seen the great birthday frosting trees of New Jersey?
So we had this backstage, and none of us want to eat it
because we're all going to follow Jerry's lead
on exactly how much carbs we have.
And so Pete was nice enough to sign these.
They're now worth less.
It's not the only food that's going to be in the bag.
I mean, somebody, you know, if a homeless person wandered in here with a good name tag,
they'd be sent for a week or so if they had a DVD player and a microwave.
And included also in the bag, I was just at the Traverse City Film Festival,
and they're super into their cherries there and cherry pie.
So it's totally smashed up
because it was in my luggage.
But it's a piece of cherry pie from the,
I should give them a plug,
Grand Traverse Pie Company.
Yeah.
We got one of my posters from my albums.
And I wrote, you're a winner on there,
just to remind yourself. And I wrote, you're a winner on there. Just to remind yourself.
And also from the festival,
they gave me some Fustini's Rosemary Olive Oil.
I don't have anything to do with that.
And then there's this thing that if you smoke weed at all,
you know what it is.
No reason to get into it.
But it's pretty awesome.
It's a few things in one.
I don't smoke weed, so get into it.
I just don't, I can't remember what they're called. So, and it's a few things in one. I don't smoke weed, so get into it. I just don't.
I can't remember what they're called.
So it's not written on it anywhere.
But it's a thing where you can grind your weed and hold your weed in the same thing.
It's plastic.
Grinder?
And it comes in a bunch of different colors.
All right.
I'm going to start smoking weed now.
And Sam Roberts brought a couple of items
Yeah, I didn't spend any money
Everybody else spent money on things
No, I tell people to bring some swag
That's usually stuff you just have sitting around
Oh, it's swag
Yeah, it's on the terrace
Really, I'm glad that the other stuff is worth something
These are bad prizes
Shirts are a bad prize?
Well, it's a genuine Not Sam t-shirt
Except I only had small and 2X left.
So I brought one.
That's what happens with every Douglas movie shirt that's given away on the shows.
It's unlikely to fit the winner.
Right.
But at least you will be able to put it on.
But at least you brought two so they can, you know.
Either a small or a 2X.
Yeah, yeah.
Throw one on their five-year-old or.
Yes.
And then this is a copy of
It's Good to Be Gronk by Rob Gronkowski.
It's the new book.
It's a great read.
Oh, the press notes are still in there untouched.
You get those too.
But could you sign this even though you didn't write it?
I would love to.
to. But could you sign this even though you didn't write it?
I would love to.
If I had known that book was one of the prizes
I would have taken that book.
I'd love to.
You can still have it. I'd give it to you.
Yeah? Yeah, they don't mind.
My book.
I'm kidding. I'm not going to take the book.
So all of that
stuff is going to be won by one person this evening
who brought a good name tag,
and then the person that's playing on their behalf is the winner.
And Sean is cutthroat and very good at these games.
But before we play the games,
I want to ask you, have you been to the cinema lately?
What have you seen this summer?
Speaking of Cutthroat, I saw Southpaw the other day.
I don't know.
Some people like it.
I mean, it was...
I haven't seen it.
It was, you know, your boy Jake Jilly got shredded.
Like, it's gnarly.
But yeah, I mean, it's...
I don't know, it's okay.
I didn't love it.
I didn't hate it. I didn't hate it.
It's a boxing movie.
Yeah.
It's the same one they've made before.
I don't want to wreck the ending, but in the ending it reminds me of the Karate Kid.
So he's like, you've got to go southpaw on him.
And then it's like the chinning kick with the crane or whatever in Karate Kid.
It's like, that's not actually going to happen like that.
What did you say before you said the crane?
South, oh. It's not actually going to happen like that. What did you say before you said the cranny?
I was in taekwondo for 16 years and it's called a chinning kick
is what that's actually called.
I thought you said something really racist right there.
Well, no, don't say what you thought I said.
No, I didn't say anything racist.
A chinning kick is what it's called.
I thought you said the word people use
sometimes to describe my eyes.
Stoned out of your gourd?
That's not a racist term.
Nope.
But so you're recommending Southpaw.
Yeah, Southpaw.
I mean, it's fun.
It's a fun popcorn movie.
You just go eat it and expect to see what you're going to see.
Don't expect...
I always love that explanation for a movie, that excuse that it's a popcorn movie.
Because I can hang out at home and eat some popcorn and not waste my money on that stupid popcorn movie.
Sorry, Sean.
I guess that helps when you scream at me, doesn't it?
I'm so mad at you.
Jerry, I know you're very busy with the twins and, you know...
My children, I have twin daughters, and that's what he's referring to.
There's no reason to cheer.
You don't live with them.
How old are they now?
Because when we first met,
we did a bit on VH1
where we were pretending
to hold them as babies.
Of course, you wouldn't give me
one of your babies.
No, I wouldn't trust you with them.
They're six now,
but they're very slow.
They're like on a two-year-old level.
These are jokes,
everybody.
This is what we say for my wife. These are jokes.
My wife!
I've said this on
the podcast before, and I'll say it right now
at the risk of offending someone.
The mystique your
wife plays and the mystique Jennifer Lawrence plays
are two different fucking people.
There's a big change
between their personalities
and their look.
You're both blue.
I do want to say,
I mean, I have no...
My wife was in the...
My wife was...
You just got to start saying it.
Was in the first new one,
the one that took place in the 60s,
you would know better than me.
Days of Future Past, right?
Right.
And my wife had a little cameo in that
where Jennifer Lawrence turns into my wife.
Yeah.
And I gotta say,
my wife spent a little bit of time
with Jennifer Lawrence
and came back
and was like,
that girl is the fucking
coolest girl
you've ever met
in your life.
And my wife is a very
judgy person.
So this girl must be
amazing.
So I think she does
a bang up job.
Can I have some cookies?
Whoever wins the prize bag
is going to have to reinforce it somehow
because if you just try to carry that
everything's just going to fall out of the bottom
of that hotel laundry bag.
Pete has a question.
I'm so sorry.
Pete is new here.
Pete has a question.
What's your question, Pete?
Can I eat those cookies?
I've been thinking about them
for like 20 minutes
since you started talking about them.
Thank you.
Why didn't you ask if you could eat the gum?
Don't rip the signature.
No, actually, please rip it.
Thank you.
Wow.
This was a good idea.
I can't throw them all into the crowd because we've got to leave some for the winner.
Because, you know,
they're going to be able to enjoy that.
Get back down there, you dirty fucking cookies.
Pete, have you had a chance to see any movies?
I know you've been out on the road doing stand-up comedy during your break.
Yeah.
Well, I can skip over to stand-up real quick.
I saw Minions.
I loved it. It was awesome.
I fucking love Minions.
They're so cute and shit.
And I saw Pixels and I thought that was fucking awesome too.
I loved Pixels.
Okay, so
you're saying that the theaters don't believe you're old enough
to see like a PG-13 or
an R-rated movie. Pixels is a PG-13 or a R-rated movie.
Pixels is probably PG-13.
Not what I mentioned. It is.
Goddamn right.
He said with a mouth full of birthday cake
cookie.
You motherfucker.
Hang on, I gotta finish my birthday cake cookie.
What about you, Sam?
I know you're on the radio every day,
day in, day out,
because you're a professional broadcaster.
That's right.
The last one.
That's it.
There's no more after me.
But I do also go to the movies.
And what have you seen?
I saw the Vacation remake.
How did that work out for you?
Because most people seem like they're again in.
I mean, I don't mind remakes.
It wasn't that, it was fine.
But it was one of those
popcorn movies you could easily watch at home.
It was like that Rocky
remake that I watched recently.
For the cost of a bag of popcorn.
The what? That Rocky remake.
It was a joke on Southpaw being a Rocky remake.
And it didn't really go that well, so I shouldn't have
interrupted with it, but I apologize.
Keep going.
I have a really funny idea for summer movies.
There's a great small film out there called Ex Machina,
which is a great film.
Everybody loves it except for the fact that robots are taking over.
This is what I did with my wife.
With my wife.
It's really funny.
I went to go buy the tickets,
and we may or may not have been high,
but we went to go buy the tickets, and may or may not have been high but we went to go buy the
tickets and there was a young lady at the ticket counter
and I went, two for ex
machina
and then killed. And killed. The girl was laughing
She laughed? My wife was laughing
and everyone was. So if you go see that movie
say two for ex machina
I try to mispronounce or play with every title
and they never laugh and they always
know which one I meant
and just give me my ticket
because they probably get idiots all day long
who say the names wrong because they don't know
give me one for Rouge Nation
probably happens
oh Oh.
Ah.
I have no idea what... What is that?
You guys...
Because I want to be in on it.
Everybody's having such a good time with it.
It's from that old, old movie.
I think it was,
might have even been a silent film.
Might have just been a card
that said my wife on it in all caps.
But it's, you know Borat, right?
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I feel dumb.
I feel dumb.
I have remained,
I've remained so juvenile since the day I saw Borat to this day,
I yell my wife like that whenever I hear the expression my wife.
And if I got married, I'd probably stop doing it.
Because I'd have to do it to myself all the time.
But it's also, usually we have a lot of single people on the show,
so I don't get to say it as often as they have tonight.
So thank you for that, Jerry.
This next question is only for the person on this panel, if there is one, who has seen all five Mission Impossible films.
Anyone?
Pete is unclogged
Well now I'm just curious
How many of them have you seen, Sean?
I've seen four of them
You just haven't seen the new one?
Yeah
Okay, no rush
It's a popcorn at home movie
Jerry, what about you?
I've seen one and a half One and and a half. Did you hear that Tom is
going to get out of Scientology now? I did read that in a tabloid. It's not like you're getting
this from, you know, CNN or Time magazine or something or Newsweek. But I did read in a tabloid... Time always has that breaking news
that they couldn't cover on 24-hour news
before a magazine came out three days ago.
It didn't come from Reuters or the BBC.
But I did read that they're not letting him...
This is according to a tabloid.
I can't believe I'm commenting on this.
They won't let him out?
See Pacino in Godfather 3? That they won't let him see... This was according to the tabloid I read. They won't let him out? See Pacino in Godfather 3?
That they won't let him see
This was according to the tabloid I read
They won't let him see his daughter
And that's gonna maybe wanna bring him out of that church
That's a great reason
Also, they're crazy and stupid
They can't do that
People know you can't do that, right?
That's right
Fucking leave, Tom
Get out Tom
If you're listening to this podcast
They can't take your daughter
I know you're hanging on the side of a plane right now
But
Just put the show in your ear
While you're doing your stunts
No he's shitting
What else does everybody else do when they're listening to this
Tom Cruise doesn't shit
Tom Cruise does not shit
Everybody shits Everybody shits
Everybody shits, Doug
If there's one thing I've learned in all my years in Hollywood
Eventually, everybody's gotta take a shit
I don't even know if Tom Cruise has a butthole
Yeah, with all the loopholes in the tax system
The expression should change to
Everybody takes a shit and dies Those are the only two things The expression should change to everybody takes a shit and dies.
Those are the only two things
we all definitely have to do.
Pete, have you seen
any of the Mission Impossible films?
The first three came out
before you were born.
I saw the first,
whatever the one with Ving Rhames
is like, toast.
Toast.
Well, it's interesting.
There's a breakfast scene in almost every one of them,
so it doesn't really narrow it down.
I saw the first.
The second one is where he has long hair
and they all have masks.
Right.
You might be mixing it up with Eyes Wide Shut.
Is that the one with the fuck party?
I've only seen the fuck party.
That's the only thing I saw in that movie,
and I think that's all I needed.
The rest of it is just boring arguments
and Tom Cruise walking the streets
while someone on the soundtrack
is just hitting one piano key
over and over again. And you know it's supposed to be suspenseful when he speeds up, and it's
supposed to be boring when he's just hitting it once every few seconds. It's crazy. I mean,
I love everything Kubrick's ever done, but that one's definitely the worst. Sam, how
many have you seen?
I don't know for sure
they kind of blur together
I definitely saw the last one
I've seen a handful
for everyone's edification since no one else can do it
this is how they should be ranked
now and forever more
in order of best
it's 4, 3, 2, 1, 5
do not argue with me
it has been decreed
it's just my opinion
it takes
what the fuck is going on
What is this
That's for us
Yeah
I hope it's a little gingerbread man from Shrek
Each one of you has to go
A Jim Gaffigan head
Each and every one of you has to go out into the audience
and pick the name tag of the person whose name tag speaks to you.
Could be a giant thing with meatballs written on it.
Something with a chance of...
What's your name?
Leslie with a chance of meatballs?
What?
Munchkins?
Okay, I don't know what's going on there.
You thought your name was Leslie a second ago, and now it's Munchkins?
Oh, there's some donuts out there if you're hungry, Pete.
Yeah, I want that one.
All right.
You win.
I'm Sarah.
Should we go grab some?
But while everybody else picks their name tags, we're going to do a brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
Should we go grab?
But while everybody else picks their name tags, we're going to do a brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
Today's episode is also brought to you in part by Difficult People, the new Hulu comedy original series from executive producer Amy Poehler.
Billy Eichner, he's awesome, from the Emmy-nominated Billy on the Street.
And Julie Klausner from How Was Your Week podcast,
starring this unapologetic story that TV Guide calls beyond laugh out loud.
Very funny.
Billy and Julie play best friends and aspiring comedians who seek fame and acceptance in the cutthroat New York comedy scene.
Hey, I'm in New York right now.
Billy and Julie have no filter, no shame and can't help but rub everyone the wrong way from yelling at small children.
I like that to crashing a list parties.
Go for it.
Billy and Julie are oblivious to the world around them, but they mean well.
OK Magazine says Billy and Julie may just knock Larry David off his throne when it comes to curmudgeonly comedy.
Difficult People also stars Gabourey Sidibe, James Urbaniak, and Andrea Martin.
And guest stars include Seth Meyers, Fred Armisen, Kate McKinnon, Martin Short, Amy Sedaris, and more.
Who needs
more? Those are all great people. Difficult People premieres Wednesday, August 5th, and
watch new episodes on Wednesdays only on Hulu.
Hey everybody, today's episode of Douglas Movies is also sponsored by, we got a lot
this episode, A24 Films. We love them because they're presenting The End of the Tour,
a new film starring Jason Segel as the acclaimed late author David Foster Wallace
and Jesse Isaacberg as Rolling Stone journalist David Lipsky.
You've already heard me talk about it on the podcast.
I love this movie based on Lipsky's memoir of the five days he spent interviewing Wallace in 1996
following the publication of Wallace's groundbreaking novel, Infinite Jest.
A transfixing portrait of one writer trying to crack the brilliant mind
of another. It's a great conversation that takes place in many
different venues over the course of the film. The end of the tour is a moving rumination
on fame, success, and genius. I couldn't say it better myself. The loneliness
of being an artist and the shared experience of being human.
In Select Theatre's July 31st.
Back to the show.
We're back!
Great job, everybody.
Great job making name tags.
Great job picking them.
Pete Davidson has some donuts.
How many of those do you want to eat, Pete?
All of them?
What, you want one?
Well, I like to throw one at the crowd
when I have the opportunity.
All right.
Not the jelly.
All right.
Here's the plan.
I wanted the guy with the pink number one finger.
I'm going to try to hit that.
Get the fuck out of here.
Damn.
That was close.
We can do that?
Yeah, if you want to throw one.
Put that sign back up.
You guys have already eaten all of it.
You seem like you're going to throw it super hard.
Yeah, yeah, please.
Harder the better.
Oh! Oh!
That was a team effort.
It took him raising up the finger
to make it happen,
but that was awesome.
It was awesome. That was awesome.
Jerry, there's a chocolate one.
It's a nice mess.
I just had a half of one.
I had a couple of the birthday cookies.
I had a few of those biscuits and gravy chips.
I mean, tonight's going to...
Oh, you want me to throw it?
No.
I'll save the donuts,
but I'm going to try and go frisbee mode with
one of these cookies.
There's an upper deck, right?
No, no.
He's waving it off.
Get it in the bucket. Look at that.
Go upper deck on it, dog.
Hold on a second.
Oh, shit. He has ammo, too.
I've got to figure out if I'm going disc mode with this thing.
Okay, you ready? Get up top. Get up top
of it. Go in the Rain Man. Jerry!
Oh shit. That's close.
That's close.
Shaw, throw a cookie in the bucket.
You're goddamn...
I'm gonna throw
a cookie up top because nobody's given the top
any love. This is the best.
Was the sound... Were you shaking me off like, don't throw it up there?
All right.
I'm going to look weird
when I do this, but it's getting up there.
That was weird.
It didn't get up there, did it?
I told you to hit the bucket.
No, I wanted it to go up top, though.
Sorry, ma'am. Sorry about that.
All right, no more.
I almost threw a cookie at that lady. I wanted it to go up top, though. Sorry, ma'am. Sorry about that. All right, no more.
I just threw a cookie at that lady.
Good, good, good, good.
The dude just brought up a bunch more ammo.
We needed it.
Hey, if you guys needed 30 more things to rep the theater with...
You know what?
Since those cookies are all gone now,
let's put the Oreos in the prize bag.
Hey, if you grown-ups needed more cookies to throw out there.
It's just I'm never tired of throwing shit at an audience.
I've never done that.
That was the first time.
You know what you need here at the Gramercy?
Is a t-shirt gun.
One of those hydraulic...
Just like hit the front row with us?
Feel lucky, punk?
Point blank t-shirt cannon.
Who are you playing for today, Sam Roberts?
Peter Racerhead.
Yes, that's a good one.
That's a very well done sign.
And on the back of the sign it says...
He's heard this show before.'s a very well done sign. And on the back of the sign it says... Don't read it.
He's heard this show before.
I saw what he was doing.
But if there's something written on the back, Pete,
don't read it out loud.
Oh, there's stuff.
Everybody already saw it.
It might be inside the cookie box.
It is. Maybe the donut box.
But your play for...
Con Sarah.
Con Sarah.
Right?
Con Sarah.
Do you know the movie Con Air?
Yes, that's the one with Nicolas Cage in the plane.
Very good.
Yeah.
And I think he said something like, my daughter.
I think, I remember key words.
That's right.
There's a lot of talk about a bunny.
The most busted stuffed animal anyone's ever got that done.
Jerry.
I'm playing for Gary, and he's got a poster here, Gary Movie.
It's really easy.
Gary, I'm sorry I didn't get your last name.
It's Movie.
Were you in any of the Gary Movie movies?
I was in Scary Movie 17.
No, that's a joke.
Back to the Future 2.
I was in one of the Scary Movies.
We did a parody of
what are the sex
oh Jesus Christ I'm so high
I'm so sorry
what are those sex books
Fifty Shades of Grey
we did a spoof of the Fifty Shades of Grey guy
but instead of me being in a sex contraption
I get all roped up in it
and wackiness ensues
and I try to get all sexual with Ashley Tisdale
or as I know her,
the Tiz.
When you're a friend of hers, you can call her
the Tiz.
See that? This is educational shows.
Here, Doug.
That's a reason to become friends with her.
Sean, who are you playing for?
I have to assume
Molly? Is it Molly?
It says Magic Mall, but it's the Magic Mike poster
with women's faces, very prominent, hilarious women's faces,
but they didn't change a thing of the men's bodies,
so there's still all the nipples and armpit hair showing,
but it's with the females' heads.
That's sexy stuff.
That's for the confused person in all of us.
Caught my eye.
Just work it to that.
And her name's Molly.
Her name's Molly.
All right.
If I were you, I would have done,
and justice for Molly.
Maybe not.
That's why I don't make name tags.
I just judge them.
All right, so we're going to play a series of games and
this first game
I'm going to
start with Sean Jordan down there
on the end because you're at a disadvantage
if you have to go first
never bothered me
and then we'll go to Jerry
and then Pete and go to Jerry and then
Pete and Sam
and you each have to guess
how much did this shit make
I'm gonna tell you
the name of a movie
I'm gonna name a movie
and then you guys
all have to guess
Price is Right style
of how much
it's probably not a good idea
to be on your phone
during the games
because people think
you're just looking up the answers.
No, I'm talking to my therapist.
She's cheating.
Are you asking your therapist?
Hey, look up the answers.
Do you know anything about box office grosses?
You're supposed to FaceTime.
Right now you're supposed to be FaceTiming your therapist?
Yeah, at this point.
This was way better.
This was so much more fun.
I got cookies and found out what my wife means.
My wife!
I'm going to tell you guys a movie,
and you have to tell me how much you think it made
in its entire run at the North American box office,
according to boxofficemojo.com.
This always makes the first guessers sound
so stupid.
Right, because they tend to be way off.
I'm going to nail it.
You're going to be first.
And the film is arguably
the worst in the Mission Impossible series
according to me earlier in the show.
How much did
Mission Impossible 2
make?
Starting with Sean Jordan. How much did Mission Impossible 2 make? Starting with Sean Jordan.
How much?
One clap according to the audience.
Oh, fuck, man.
$200 million.
$200 million.
You have an audience member that's dismayed by that guess?
Let's go to Jerry O'Connell.
I got to say, typically, contestants
go in a little hot with these numbers,
I've noticed, so I'm gonna go
significantly lower,
and I'm gonna say,
$1. That's my cousin,
and the price is right.
I'm gonna follow you around.
No convincing out there.
The treadmill's a dollar!
That's what your cousin sounds like? That's what your cousin sounds like?
That's what my cousin sounds like
I'm gonna go
101 million dollars
Okay, 101
He's taking the 101
To the 405
Nobody thought that was a whack fucking guess
Do you have any idea how about
Mission Impossible 2
Mission
Probably like 250 What. Probably like 250 or something.
Colon Impossible 2.
What?
Probably like 250.
250?
Yeah.
Tom Cruise had long hair, you know?
Sam, bring it home.
The person who gets closest without going over is going to get to go first in the next game.
It's not really much of a prize.
That sucks. $140 million. Okay, $140 million. That's good, right? Thank you. So the closest
without going over is our friend Sean with the first guess. What? Mission Impossible 2
made $215.4 million
here in this part of the world.
And it was the highest gross
in the series so far.
Yeah, I didn't want to be an asshole,
but I knew all that.
I didn't just want to come out and say it.
And also, they had longer as Harry's
called Tom Cruise in those movies.
That's what he's called.
want to come out and say it. And also, that longer as Harry is called Tom Cruise in
those movies when he's gone.
Alright, you guys, let's play
a new game called Whose Tagline Is It Anywhere?
Is there a game that if I said it, you guys
would not applaud and you'd be sad
that it was happening?
We got a few different games now, and I love this one because it's new.
We're going to start with Sean again, but this time we'll switch the order around and go to Sam, then Pete, then Jerry.
And the idea is when I get to you, I'm going to say a tagline from a motion picture,
something that was probably on the poster or something.
It's according to IMDb, because IMDb. And just guess, just give your best guess at what movie that would be.
Doug Benson.
That is by me.
You know, you're doing really great in terms of not having heard the show.
Most people, when they come on, they haven't heard the show.
Instead of just figuring out how it all works and what it means, they just question everything.
And it's really annoying.
So you're my new favorite guest.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
An example, of course, would be from the Alien.
Very famous tagline.
I don't use ones that are quite as famous.
In space, no one can hear you scream.
That's an example of a great one.
That's so funny.
Most of them are not great.
And we'll start off with Sean. And if Sean doesn't get it, then it moves to the next guy.
And he gets a shot.
Everybody gets a shot at it.
And you only fall out if you miss.
And other people are not missing.
Doesn't make any sense.
You're right.
As Anthony Jescelik once said
If I had to describe to people how to stay alive
We'd all be dead
Sean
I know it was pretty mean
Sean
What movie has the tagline
The hottest thing on wheels
The hottest thing on wheels
Fucking Paul Blart The hottest thing on wheels.
Fucking Paul Blart.
I heard that's what the third installment's going to be called.
Fucking Paul Blart.
Penetration this time.
Back in the Segway again is the subtitle.
So I take it I got it wrong. I take it I got it wrong I believe you are wrong
terrific guess that would have been a fun way to market
that movie
what do you think
Sam the hottest thing on wheels
the Dukes of Hazzard
right because it's got the
confederate flag
you just It's got the Confederate flag on it. You just...
Let me apologize to all of the Confederate fags out there listening.
If you're gay and for the Confederacy, I am deeply sorry.
I can't believe that that accidentally came out of your mouth.
I was slapping my knee.
Good guess, Sam.
Pete, do you have any guesses?
The hottest thing on wheels?
Herbie fully loaded.
Another excellent guess,
but wrong.
Jerry?
I take this game really seriously, Doug.
You can take the whole thing down
right now with the correct answer.
I'm going to go
the hottest thing on
wheels.
I'm going to say
that film Speed Racer. They tried to
remake Speed Racer.
As a film.
As a film.
Visually, very exciting.
Nothing else about it was exciting.
Wachowskis.
I'll watch anything they do, but a lot of it's not good.
Parts of Cloud Atlas are awesome.
Then there's the part where Halle Berry speaks in future language.
Hottest Thing on Wheels is a film.
I didn't expect anybody
to get it
I just want to promote something
it's a film
I'm going to be interrupting
in Kansas City
very soon
at the Alamo Drafthouse there
called Kansas City Bomber
Kansas City Bomber
what?
Pete are you familiar
with Raquel Welch?
do you know who she is?
no
Raquel Welch?
no
she was on Seinfeld.
Seems like the most recent credit anyone would recognize.
But she plays a roller derby.
She still is sexy, but she used to be a sexy actress in all the sexy movies in the 70s.
And one of them was a roller derby movie called Kansas City Bomber.
And I've never
watched it all the way through. I can't wait to see
it soon in Kansas City.
I do fun things like that
where I make a city watch a movie just because
it's got their name in the title.
It's not appropriate. Just stop doing that.
Okay.
Just kidding. Sorry.
Alright.
We're going to start all over again with Sean.
This one might be a little easier.
But I knew we had some tough players today.
I didn't know who was going to be on.
I wrote these down weeks ago.
What movie had the tagline,
The last man standing gets the kitty?
The last man standing gets the kitty. The last man standing gets the kitty.
How the fuck is that easier?
Seems like a strange contest and a strange prize.
Uh, showgirls.
I like it, but no.
Sam Robots.
Mad Max Thunder Road.
All those rabid cats running around the desert.
You know what we're talking about.
No.
I don't know why I had to say no.
It's obvious.
Pete, do you have a guess?
Garfield?
You're my favorite person.
No.
No? Okay.
It's not Garfield 2, A Tale of Two Kitties.
Jerry, I'm giving you the last shot again.
Do you have any idea what this is from?
Comedy released in 2001 called Tomcat.
Oh yeah, you were in that.
Full disclosure, I was in the film.
Sort of unfair.
I was going to say something.
I wasn't sure if you didn't know that or you did.
Okay, let's just think about this for a second.
You think I would have picked that tagline for this game
if I didn't know you were in that movie?
Doug, I watched you smoke marijuana through an apple
about 15 minutes ago.
I don't know what you're capable of.
Good point.
But since that was unfairly, you know, you had an unfair advantage, let's play another round.
Sean, what movie had the the tagline
there's something in the water
there's something
in the water
let me give you all a quick clue before anybody's guessed
it's not Aaron Brockovich
or a civil action.
Jaws?
No.
Pete's shaking.
Close. Sorry, sorry to fucking wreck everybody's head.
He had to be close.
Sam?
Once upon a Time in Mexico.
That's a good one.
That was a good one.
Sorry, Pete.
I switched my favorite to Sam.
People are sad
about this fake contest
about who's my favorite.
Pete, you have a guess? Something in the water? Yes, I have. Well, if he's in it about who's my favorite. Pete, you have a guess?
Something in the water? Yes, I have.
If he's in it, it's Piranha.
Full title.
Full title. Oh, 3D.
That's correct.
You got your dick ripped off in there.
You got your dick
ripped off.
I remember that.
That was awesome.
That was sick.
This is like my behind-the-actor studio show.
You guys are like my James Lipton.
And I'm sitting here talking about my craft, and Pete is asking me if I got my dick
bitten off.
They do a plaster cast of your actual dick
or just riff? Yeah, I really want to know
everything.
I'm so curious.
There was a lot of working
with that area and special effects
and there was a lot of me saying
just go
bigger. Just go bigger.
Just go bigger.
They were like, well, we want it to look real,
and I was like, just go bigger.
Do you think it's the first 3D movie
where a dick flies in the face of the audience?
No, that was Borat's other movie, Bruno.
Bruno wasn't in 3D.
Fuck you, Doug.
I was so close. I was so close.
So close.
All right, so Pete's the official winner of that game, everybody.
Thank you, everybody.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Three minutes ahead of schedule
I love it
so Pete gets to start off the next game
and then we'll go to Jerry
and then to Sean and then Sam
and this is
this is something
someone wrote to me on Twitter
stop playing this game, it's garbage
so now I have to play it in every show for the rest someone wrote to me on Twitter, stop playing this game, it's garbage.
So now I have to play it in every show for the rest
of time just to make
that one guy upset.
And for
those of you who haven't heard this game on the show
or any of the games or the show,
I'll
talk you through it.
And you'll be fine,
I think. And we're starting with it. And you'll be fine, I think.
And we're starting with Pete.
And the basic premise of this game is I'm going to tell you the name of a movie.
In your case, I'll tell you three movies.
And you get to pick the one that you think you can name the most cast members in that movie.
So since you're going first, you get to start off what movie we're going to do.
And then I'll tell you how many actors were listed, actors and actresses, in that movie. So since you're going first, you get to start off what movie we're going to do. And then I'll tell you how many actors were listed, actors and actresses, in that movie according to Leonard Maltin. And then you say how many of the names from that movie
you think you can name. And if you think you can name a lot, go for it. But if you're unsure
about the movie, poker face it and say, oh, I can name two, you know, and then the next
person probably won't challenge you.
Ah, so I don't actually say the names, I just say how many I can.
We just bid on how many you can name.
Done.
And then when somebody, when it gets to you, somebody that challenges the person next to
them because they can't name more names, then the person who successfully names all the
names gets a point, or or I don't know why
I don't know why I bother explaining it
I just heard the word names like 50 times
names names names names
and uh
but you know how this works right Sean?
sort of
okay
that's all I need
to give me confidence
I'm starting to get
on the side of that
Twitter follower
sort of
I want to
I want to DM him
I'm going to DM you bro
you are the Twitter follower
it's
believe it or not
it's less complicated
than explaining
regular Leonard Maltin
to Pete right now
listen
Doug
he's the guy on the books
let's go
he's the IMDb book guy.
Yeah.
He has an encyclopedia
that comes out every year.
He puts out IMLM
and I use his app
for this game
and you get to pick
between these three films.
Sick.
National Lampoon's Vacation,
you know, from 1983.
National Lampoon's European Vacation.
Or National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
Which was made before the word staycation existed. And they totally
would have used it if they didn't know.
They should have coined that word.
Like,
this one's from 1989.
And Mr. Leonard Maltin lists
16 names
from the cast of this movie.
How many of those do you think
in any order, doesn't matter what order, if challenged, how many of those do you think, in any order, doesn't matter what order,
if challenged, how many of those do you think you could name?
Two.
Jerry, you could challenge him to name two.
Two or three or four.
What's up with that poker face, Doug?
I actually only know one and a thing or the other.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm not going to challenge him.
It's his first time.
I'm not a monster.
Challenge me.
I'm not going to.
Bring it, Jerry.
No, because now I'm worried it's like a head game that you're playing with me.
It'll be amazing.
You've got to make eye contact like you're on the yard, dude.
Look at his eyes.
Stare into his eyes, staring at his sword.
Like, I was the first one that the tribe had spoken for, and I had to go put out my
flame.
Oh, man, you know, I think I can only name two
as well. I can't...
Challenge Pete?
I'm gonna say four if you give it to me.
I can do five.
Wait a second.
I don't care for all this free bidding.
So Jerry, if you want to see these guys try to name four or five or even find out if they're lying.
I want to see Sam name five.
Then you've got to hit the ball rolling.
You've got to say you can name it in three.
Me?
Yeah.
But I can't.
I don't know three. Why? I don But I can't. I don't know three.
Why?
I don't know.
Why?
You gotta lie.
Sean has already thrown down the gauntlet that he's gonna go four, so just don't worry
about it, dude.
Okay, three.
Come on, man.
I can name three.
You know, the last man standing wins the kitty, dude.
You can name three? Three. He says three, dude. You can name three? Three.
He says three, Sean. See, now, if I was
being an asshole and really wanted the point, I would
say name three. I would love that.
Name three.
Chevy Chase.
Don't encourage him with whether he's right or wrong.
Shush, shush.
I don't know why you're yelling.
Chevy Chase.
Beverly D'Angelo.
Don't, no one tell me.
Dashiell F. Booth's Christmas Vacation.
Phil Hartman.
Just picture it.
It's a classic.
That wasn't a bad guess
That's the kind of movie
You pop in
As a neighbor or something
For sure
Alright
So let's not blow it
So
So
Sean gets the point
Right
But I gotta
I gotta see if Sam
Could do five
Let me do two more
I know you could do four
Alright fine
Let me hear your four
I'll sit over here
With my point
Let me hear your four
Juliette Lewis
And Randy Quaid
Yes Fine. Let me hear your four. I'll sit over here with my point. Let me hear your four. Juliette Lewis and Randy Quaid.
Yes.
Juliette Lewis is very lowly built, though.
She was married to a professional skateboarder. So, Sam, can you add one more to that?
David Duchovny.
No.
I think...
No.
What?
It's Guy from Big Bang Theory.
Who did you think...
Galecki.
Who did you think David Duchovny was?
Yeah, Johnny Galecki was in it.
But Julia Louis-Dreyfus is fairly famously known as the neighbor that's annoyed with the Griswolds.
Margot.
Yeah, there's lots of them, you guys.
It's easy when you're sitting out there.
Stop yelling out.
Oh, you're right, Amy Adams.
What a surprise.
All right, so Sean, with his evil ways of playing, is on the board.
Yeah.
of playing is on the board.
Yeah.
Let me put a point next to Sean's name over here
on my piece of paper
that I didn't write
anybody's names down on yet.
And so who challenged?
You challenged?
Okay, so we'll start with Sam
and then go to Pete
on this next one.
So Sam gets to pick
the first...
What's his name again? Oh yeah, Jerry.
It's like a memory test for me to turn my
back to them and figure out who's here.
You get to choose between
these three movies, Sam.
Do you know the most actors from
The Poseidon Adventure
or
Poseidon the or Poseidon,
the remake,
or Titanic?
Which of those three boat disasters...
Ship, I apologize
to people that complain about things like that.
Which one of those pieces of ship
do you think
you could name the most actors? Poseidon.
Whoa!
Interesting choice.
Most recent of the three,
I think, so maybe Pete
will know.
Leonard lists
7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
names from the movie Poseidon, directed by Wolfgang Peterson, who does that sort of thing.
And how many of those do you think you can name, Sam?
I can name three.
Strong opening bid.
Three names.
So, Pete, if you think you can name more, you can say so, or you can ask Sam.
Zero.
Next.
All right, so you have to say Sam, name it, and hope that he misses on one of the names.
Name him.
Name him, Sam.
I only knew one.
For real?
Do you want to think about it for a second?
No, just I didn't see the movie.
Richard Dreyfuss, right?
Yeah, he's in it.
Does he have friends in it?
I don't know.
I don't know who else I,
I never saw the movie.
Yeah, Rory Scheider and Robert Shaw
were dug up for this movie.
I think Carrie Ansel was in it,
Billy Zane.
Is that right?
You switched movies.
I said Titanic.
We learned to capture it.
Why did you even pick Poseidon?
I wanted to have some glory
and people would be like,
oh shit, he picked Poseidon.
And it did.
Because Titanic,
we would have had a real race.
I thought no one would pick
either of the Poseidon movies.
Yeah, I know. That's why I did it.
Everybody was impressed for a second.
Well, and everybody's happy for Pete Davidson
because he's on the board at one point.
Thank you, Sam.
Congratulations.
I can name three actors in that film
if anyone wants to challenge me.
Is there any sort of bonus round?
Well, we'd like to hear you do it.
Richard Dreyfuss.
That's right.
Stacey Ferguson.
Just listed as Fergie here,
but I'll take it.
And Josh Lucas.
Whoa!
Josh Lucas, top build.
He must have been the Gene Hackman character.
Must have been a preacher
helping him try to get out.
And then Kurt Russell, his
second build. Oh, so maybe he was
the Gene Hackman character. Kurt Russell's in that
movie? I could have guessed that.
What year was that? Oh, maybe Kurt Russell is the
Ernest Borg knight.
Which would be weird. What year was it?
It was 2006.
Jacinda Barrett,
Emmy Rossum,
Mia Maestro,
Jimmy Bennett,
just gets names.
Andre Brar is lowly built.
So is Kevin Dillon
and Freddy Rodriguez.
So yeah,
so like I said,
Pete's got a point.
Next round.
This is exciting.
I like to play a bunch of rounds.
I'd like to see a four-way tie
because then I just pick a movie
that you guys have to play
that I think everybody knows
at least a few cast members from,
but I could be wrong.
Sean.
Yes.
Jerry, you're up next.
It's coming to you.
It's coming at you.
It's coming at you, Vern.
Like, when he's this good-looking and thin now,
it's fun to make fun of what a fat kid he was
it's the only chance i got to be better than him
just making fun of good old verne tessio and his excitable nature he got excited that kid
were you that were you like like him like did you were you like that or were you a little less worked up?
I think when casting youths
I think you look for sort of traits that you're looking for
Like River Phoenix was super cool
He was very cool, yeah
Corey Felton was a dork
And you were a spaz
And Will Wheaton was a nerd
What's the difference between a dork, a spaz, and a nerd?
Absolutely nothing.
It was three nerds and a cool guy
looking for a dead body.
But one of them grew up to be
Richard Dreyfuss. Richard Dreyfuss is hot
because he narrates it. Which one's he supposed to be?
Or is he just omniscient narrator?
He's supposed to be Will Wheaton.
Okay.
Will Wheaton, is that what you're doing?
Will Wheaton, is that what you're saying?
Wheaton.
I said it in the microphone. Will Wheaton.
Did you know that gum has Wil Wheaton in it?
Sean gets to pick between
all the president's men,
men in black,
or black hawk down.
Men in black.
Excellent choice.
We all know that one.
Shouldn't be too tough.
I just have to find it on my phone.
I lost it.
Oh, there it is.
Okay.
Five.
Because people are interested in this kind of thing.
It's from 1997.
And Leonard lists a mere six names.
Fuck you.
God, if I could say more than Leonard.
You could take back the...
No, I'm saying five.
I'll say five.
You think you can name five?
He only named six,
so there's a lot of names
that he didn't put in this list
that you might be thinking of.
Oh, it's got to be on Leonard's list.
Yes!
That's why I say how many he names.
And then look at this thing while I...
You think he was just bringing up Leonard
just because this whole time?
I just thought... Sorry, I fucked up.
I thought we could just name people in the movie and I know they're in the movie so I could just let that ride.
Okay, we'll say four.
No, fuck it, we'll say five.
I'll go with my original guess.
We'll keep it on five.
Yikes.
So, Jerry, who gets to put Jerry gets the point if I don't get it, right?
And then we're at a three-way tie.
I apologize. There's
seven names. Five.
I didn't think it would
change your bid. Yuck!
But Jerry can bid six or seven
or challenge you to
name five names. Challenge.
I just, and I'm not doing that to be a dick,
I just can't name six.
I was such a dick to you like ten minutes ago.
Yeah, I know, but I mean this isn't like
the gladiator in the dome.
I mean, we still have to hang out
in the green room after this.
I think also Jerry understands
that if he bid more, he's going to have to do it
because Pete's not going to...
I just think Jerry's mad at me right now.
Pete's like hanging himself up.
Pete's using the mic cord to try
to get another cookie.
This looks like the
worst horror movie ever.
Just an empty bag of
cookies
creeping across the stage.
Right there at the suit. Cookie toss. Right up front in the suit.
Cookie toss.
Right up front in the suit.
Oh, you're keeping the last one.
Yeah, give the suit guy one.
Nope.
Oh, maybe not.
I tried.
So somebody's going to win an empty package.
So Jerry challenged Sean to name five
alright, so Tommy Lee Jones
Will Smith, Rip Torn
Tony Shalhoub
and
Vincent D'Onofrio
tell me they're not in there
wait, which ones did you say?
Will Smith
Tommy Lee Jones, Vincent D'Onofrio,
Rip Torn, and
I just fucking said it, man. Tony Shalhoub.
Yeah. That's correct!
And aliens.
You missed Linda Fiorentino
and Siobhan Fallon.
Siobhan Fallon. What? Was David there? Siobhan Fallon. What?
Was David Cross in the first one?
Yes, he was.
He's the one that tries to spray with bug spray or whatever.
Or no, he kills a bug and then the guy comes in and it's Vincent D'Onofrio and he's all...
You don't matter.
Matter of fact, you're not even going to play better.
You guys probably thought Vincent D'Onofrio was here for a second, didn't you?
It was just me. Everybody listening, that probably thought Vincent D'Onofrio was here for a second, didn't you? It was just me.
Everybody listening, that wasn't Vincent D'Onofrio.
That was just me just doing my impression of Vincent D'Onofrio real quick.
No big deal.
Everybody calm down.
Chill out.
Up top, chill out.
And on that note, Sean is our winner!
And you won the best way possible.
You went the strategic route one round,
and then the next round you proved you actually know something.
So that's a very impressive win, my friend.
We got a couple minutes left.
Do you guys want to play another game for fun?
Just for fun.
Who are you playing for, Sean, again?
Molly?
Molly.
Molly, do you want to come get your pile of stuff before we eat it all?
Oh, shit.
That was the last.
That was the game that wins?
I haven't won in a long time.
That was the winning game, yeah.
Fucking.
Wow. Best prize is winning game. Yeah. Fucking... Wow.
Best prize is not in the bag.
A kiss on the hand from Vern Tessio.
Would you touch a dead body
with that hand? There should be some contact
with the winner. The person just won. That's exciting.
Like, you don't have confetti or anything.
Shit's already falling everywhere. I apologize for...
Apologize for that bad bag. Does anybody
have a bag that's
strong?
She's just giving everything away
so she doesn't have to carry it home.
You want a donut?
You're really eating the crumbs from the birthday cake
cookies? That's so cute.
That was such a confident, yep.
Oh, she's dieting.
Crumbs only diet.
She wants to be the size of a mouse.
Wait a second.
Toss me an Oreo.
Let me rephrase.
Toss me an Oreo.
You had it in your hand.
The listeners are like,
did the audience just get on a roller coaster?
What is happening?
That's why you gotta see it live, you guys.
Who's buying tickets for next Monday?
And then on Monday,
who's gonna come on November 30th?
Service fees waived, but of course,
the 12 Guests at Christmas show will be a couple bucks more expensive to get into.
But I think $200 is a reasonable price.
I totally do.
Let's play Last Man Standing.
That's so sick.
That's the one that nobody thinks is going to be hard,
and then it's fucking hard.
I have a terrible stomachache.
Doug loves Metamucil.
Does that work for stomachaches?
I have no idea.
I think it's for shitting.
So yeah, that'll get that stomach ache right out of you.
All right, audience.
I'm going to go to them in a second.
Someone who's got a politely raised hand,
not someone who yells out.
Look at that hand shot up,
and he's also got two Oreos ready to
throw at us.
We're going to get an
actor or actress, and I'm going to play
two in this game for fun.
And we take turns naming
movies that that person's been in. If you can't
think of one or say one that's wrong, you're out.
Motion pictures.
Not TV shows.
Not music videos.
But motion pictures, not TV shows, not music videos.
But motion pictures.
Motion pictures, which I define as anything that's 75 minutes or longer,
because Chronicon is 75 minutes long.
And it's out now on Netflix.
All right.
Let's start with Fancy Pants.
Sean, just work our way this way and then back around.
Yeah, they're brand new Levi's.
Of course, we need an actor with a lot of credits to their name and
credits that some of us might know.
We don't all know like silent
film stars and shit like that.
Stuff
anything before 1990 is probably
bad for one of the guests.
anything before 1990 is probably bad
for one of the guests.
I want the Oreo guy
to give us his
because his was the first hand
that went up
and he's got Oreos.
Amy Adams?
You want us to play
Amy Adams for real?
I was there, by the way.
I was at that one.
The audience is rejecting it.
That was gnarly.
They do not want us
to play Amy Adams so next we have to go to suit guy who just came from work. Matthew was at that one. The audience is rejecting it. That was gnarly. They do not want to explain Amy Adams.
So next we have to go
to suit guy.
Just came from work.
Matthew McConaughey.
Matthew McConaughey.
All right.
I can handle that.
I'm not happy about that.
I'd say I was happiest.
I'd say McConaughey.
Steve Buscemi.
Watch it.
Who said that? We should do Steve Buscemi. Who the fuck? Do you think you'd be good. Steve Buscemi. Watch it. Who said that?
We should do Steve Buscemi.
Who the fuck?
Do you think you'd be good
at Steve Buscemi?
I mean, he's in everything.
So you think you just
name a movie
and you're good?
Yeah.
Kind of.
That's not...
That won't work.
Steve Buscemi's a fun one.
That's a fun one.
Because since you're my favorite,
I kind of want to play
the name that you want to play.
And someone just mentioned Steve Buscemi to me on the internet, and I was just like,
he's a tough one because he is in everything, so it's hard to remember which ones he's really in.
But let's do it. Let's start with Sean.
Now Buscemi, now you don't.
To use it to coin a phrase.
Fargo.
What's he been in? Fargo? I never heard of it.
I said not TV shows.
I'm so excited about season two of Fargo.
Is there going to go into Sioux Falls, South Dakota a little bit more in season two?
You want to see how they develop the Sioux Falls
storyline a little bit more?
It takes place earlier, and only
one character is a thread to the last
season, but the actors
that are in it, it's another incredible
cast. I'm just from Sioux Falls,
South Dakota, so I get decided to bring that up.
I can't, so there it is.
It's got Jesse Plemons and Kristen Dunst
as a married couple.
She's not going to just fuck him.
Sorry, Jesse Plemons.
He's hilarious.
All right.
Landry.
Jerry.
Men in Black 2.
Interesting.
Yeah, that was a deep cut.
Yeah. Fun choice. Back 2. Interesting. Yeah, that was a deep cut.
Fun choice.
Thanks for being here.
Pete.
Monsters, Inc.
Of course.
Your damn idea. You better have one.
Sam.
Billy Madison.
Sure.
That's where you get into some tough waters because he's like in every other Sandler movie
so you can't count on him being in it
because he might have been busy working with
you know those other famous directors
that he works with a lot
I'm going to just bump it out
get it out of the way now
why wait
oh no wait a second
look at the young guy
yeah I'm just going to do it right now Reservoir Dogs second. Look at the young guy.
Yeah, I'm just going to do it right now.
Reservoir Dogs.
Mr. Pink Hand is over there.
Big Lebowski.
Shut the fuck up Lonnie Donnie
I was talking to the guy in the audience
Who would not shut the fuck up
His name's Lonnie
Oh brother where are thou
People are saying no
Is he?
I thought he was
In that
Yeah what role did he play in that?
I don't know what role
Was he one of the main three guys
That sang together
And were in the chain gang
I'm asking him you guys
Because I'm hoping he'll say yes
And then I can say wrong
No I'm just going for Coen Brothers movies that I thought he was possibly in.
Yeah, he's been in a bunch of them, too.
Such a shame.
Such a shame to have to knock you out so early.
Okay, well, it was nice knowing everybody.
Yeah.
Sorry, Jerry.
Am I still allowed to sit up here?
Oh, yeah.
Okay, good.
Yeah, you can even speak into the microphone if you want.
Say stuff.
Taunt the other players.
Confuse them.
Pete?
Grownups.
That's another tricky one.
Where do you go from there, Sam?
Grownups 2.
Was he in that one too?
Yep.
Okay.
Yes, he is.
He's not in every Salem movie.
That was my next one.
He's not in every Salem movie.
He's not in Pixels, right?
No.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
What do you mean, what am I doing?
Sounds like you're wasting a guess right there.
You're playing the game too, aren't you?
Yeah, that's not fair.
You wouldn't guess Pixels.
You're out.
Sounds like...
What? What? I knew he wasn't in it, Yeah, that's not fair. You wouldn't guess Pixar. It's your house. Sounds like it.
What?
What?
I knew he wasn't in it, even though I haven't seen it.
It's not Rocky either, but I didn't bring it up.
I'm going to go with a film that he also directed called Trees Lounge.
And I went out of turn.
Because Sam didn't say one, right?
Oh yeah. What'd you say?
Grownups too.
That's why I thought you didn't say one.
Because that was so obvious. Don't try to use my tricks on you.
Sean. The water boy.
The water boy.
That might be one that he's in.
I trust that no one's screaming in pain
right now.
Jerry, do you have another one?
We're not going to, you don't get to say it,
but I'm just curious if you might have figured it out by now.
No, I'm out of the game.
I'm watching.
Fair enough.
I'm a viewer now.
All right.
Pete?
Hotel Transylvania.
Ooh.
Big Daddy Yeah, Big Daddy
Fair enough
Somebody's yelling Big Daddy 2
Out of the audience
Just because I'm smart
Doesn't mean you should make fun of me
Talking to you, Pete.
Oh, me?
Yeah.
Okay.
Pete, who are you playing for again?
You didn't win, but we'll call somebody a shithead on their behalf.
But who are you playing for?
Concerer.
Yeah, Conair.
Concerer.
Yeah, but ConairAir is my answer.
Ah.
Get it?
That one I really didn't get it until you told me.
That one was there.
All right.
Sean.
Con-Air.
I just said it.
Oh, fuck.
Did you really?
I thought I thought of it.
I was over here in deep thought,
and I seriously thought,
I seriously thought that I just thought of that.
Fuck, I really did.
I don't know if you guys were looking,
but I was sitting here doing this,
and then I got, like, hella proud of myself.
I was like, oh, Con Air.
Fuck you guys.
Flubber.
Is he in Flubber?
That was the next one.
That was the next one that was tickling my brain. Wasn't in Flubber? No. Can anybody guarantee he wasn't in Flubber. Is he in Flubber? That was the next one. That was the next one that was tickling my brain.
Wasn't in Flubber?
Can anybody guarantee he wasn't in Flubber?
I didn't talk this out to you.
Sure. I can.
Fine. Fine.
Alright, we're back to Pete. You're out, Sam.
Pete. Sean.
You're still in, Sam. Don't worry.
Ridiculous 6.
Oh, that's coming out.
What'd you call it?
Right. I think it's got a different name than that even.
Oh no, that's the Sandler thing that's going to be on Netflix.
It's the 8.
And you're assuming he's in it?
No, he's in it.
You know he's in it.
I know he's in it.
What if they cut him out though?
They won't cut out Steve Boucher.
He's not been cut out of 200 things.
Sam.
That's my boy?
Yes.
No one's saying no. Yeah.
That's my boy.
That's how I'm saying it.
I'm going to go with Living in Oblivion.
Back to you already, Pete.
Mr. Deeds.
Thank you.
Sam is coming back at us fast.
I can't handle it.
How about you?
You got another one?
Tappy Gilmore I know
Is he in that one?
The homeless guy was Alan Cover
Yeah he's not in that
That's Alan Cover
He was the coach with the alligator
No
That's Carl Weathers
He's not Carl Weathers
He's very talented But, that's Carl Weathers. He's not Carl Weathers.
Buscemi is very talented, but he's no Carl Weathers.
So Rocky, then.
Yeah.
You know, I don't know.
Okay, you're out, then.
And now I've got to think of one, but the pressure's super on, because, you know, we've said a lot. I want to say a sequel that I just don't think he's in
because he was the bad guy in the original.
Why would you want to say that?
So he might not ever say anything in the sequel,
but who knows, they might let him talk for some reason.
So I'm just going to fucking say it.
Is he a voice in Monsters University?
Little Nicky.
Oh!
Little Nikki. Little Nikki.
Don't yell out answers, you guys.
I'm still in this.
I can still pull out another one, maybe.
Don't shh.
Why are they yelling out?
Somebody's saying something loudly.
Stop doing it.
Why would you do that?
You got so mad.
It's become as funny as yelling free bird
at any concert.
I just, you know, I don't have another one
and I want Pete to win.
Thank you very much.
Do you have one more, Pete?
I think...
Oh, I just lost it.
No, I know he's in...
There must be another Tarantino that he was in.
There's another movie he's in.
Yeah, for sure.
He's definitely been in another one.
I recently saw it.
But that's okay. You don't have to come up with it.
The audience is going to tell us a ton of ones
we missed.
Go!
Which one?
Tales from the Dark Side
the movie, and he's saying it like it's obvious.
Come on.
Come on, Tales from the Dark Side the movie. he's saying it like it's obvious. Come on. Come on, Taylor Swift, dark side of the movie.
Incredible
Bart Wonderstone.
Oh, that's right.
Wedding singer.
I didn't remember. When I saw that, I was
Wonderstone'd.
Things to do in Denver when you're dead.
Armageddon.
Armageddon.
I just watched Armageddon the other day.
Nothing funny about it.
Pulp Fiction, of course.
The waiter at Jackrabbit Slim's.
Motherfuck.
$5 shake.
They're still going.
Escape from LA. I just saw going. Escape from L.A.
I just saw that on cable a couple weeks ago.
What's world?
Spice world?
Ghost world.
It's funny to see people yelling ghost world, spice world.
No, it's ghost world.
Desperado. The Ghost World Desperado
The Island, Desperado
It's endless
It's harder up here
Spy Kids 2, what was the subtitle?
I don't know
They fucking know it, you guys
Let's hear it for all the players on stage.
We've gone long, but let's keep going.
Sean, give us your plugs.
You got anything to plug?
Yeah, I'll hurry up.
I'll be in Madison, Wisconsin at Comedy on State,
August 13th through the 15th.
High Plains Comedy Festival in Denver,
the 20th through the 22nd.
Funny Over Everything in Portland, Oregon with Ryan Singer on the 18th of August.
And Bumbershoot Comedy and Arts Festival, Seattle, 4th through the 6th.
So there it is.
There's another donut in here still.
I kind of want to hit the pink hand with this chocolate donut.
Sounds like a... They turn the lights up like they want you to do it.
Somebody in the theater is doing that.
Nowhere near it.
Nowhere near it.
Here, I got a jelly one, too.
Oh, we got one bite out of that.
Careful with that, because it's open.
It's open already.
No, heads up.
No, no, no, no, no.
He tipped it.
He tipped it with his finger.
That donut almost hit me in the testicles.
Yeah, they throw them back sometimes.
I should have warned you guys about that.
Luckily, they're a very hard target to hit.
Small.
Jerry, what's going on, man?
I know you're leaving New York, but you've been here for a minute.
People love having you here, seeing you on the streets,
confusing you with Jason Bateman.
He told me that's what happened.
Oh, man.
That's funny.
Jason Bateman.
I'm going to plug Jason Bateman's stuff.
He's got a big movie coming out called The Gift.
Seems like it might be good.
It's interesting.
I get a lot of heat from the public
when he has a movie coming out.
So I'm looking forward to that.
Coming out this fall.
But next time somebody mistakes you for him,
you should use some bad words.
No.
Yeah.
All right.
Pete, SNL returns in October,
but you got any more road dates coming up?
Yes.
I'll be at the San Jose Improv
August 13th through the 15th.
And then I'm going to... Really, I'm going so I can go to the 15th and then I'm going to
really I'm going so I can go to Harry Potter World
but I'm also
I'm also at the Orlando Improv
Orlando, that's where I go there too
like the 30th, it doesn't fucking matter
don't come, I'm going to Harry Potter World
come to San Jose
alright, thank you
thank you everybody
Sam Roberts show every day, Monday through Friday on Sirius XM.
Yeah, that's right.
XM 103, Sirius 206, every day at noon.
Tomorrow, my guest will be Doug Benson.
And if anybody likes professional wrestling, you can download the wrestling podcast on iTunes,
notsam.com.
Everywhere.
All right.
I think I had one more plug I wanted to slip in.
Douglas Movies is going to be in Boston on September 12th at the Wilbur Theater.
One more time for all my guests, Sean Jordan, Jerry O'Connell, Pete Davidson, and Sam Roberts. All right, as always, I'll see you guys next Monday and then again at the end of November for 12 Guests of Christmas, second annual.
Drunk driving is a shithead.
People who cut in line at Shake Shack are a shithead?
Just throwing these down so the people who own them, if they want them back, they can come get them.
And finally, on a post-it note...
Chicks who dump you by text after dating you 18 months because you wouldn't give them permission to bang some British dude they talk to online...
Are a shithead!
Hey, have you had enough laughs? I bet you haven't.
I'm here to tell you once again,
Craig Robinson, our buddy from The Office and Hot Tub Time Machine,
and Doug Loves Movies, has a great new comedy. It starts out tomorrow night on NBC.
It's from the producers of The Office,
which is probably his first television break.
It's called Mr. Robinson because that's his name.
And it looks hilarious.
Then it's the premiere of The Carmichael Show starring a dude that I just saw doing stand-up at the comedy store recently.
And I had to wait around and say, you know, you're hilarious after his set.
Jared Carmichael. And David Alan Gre Carmichael and David Alan Greer,
the classic David Alan Greer, plays his dad on the show.
You don't want to miss it.
That's the premieres of Mr. Robinson and The Carmichael Show
after AGT tomorrow on NBC.
Anyone who doesn't check it out is a, you know what, head.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. is a sh... you know what? Head.