Doug Loves Movies - Randy Baumann, Greg Fitzsimmons and Chris Porter guest

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

Live from The Bottlerocket Social Hall in Pittsburgh, Doug welcomes Randy Baumann, Greg Fitzsimmons and Chris Porter to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screening baby sticky seeds With 50 as it pops, or kernels in his teeth They're still not worn, then he won't see Because Doug loves movies Applause Hey, hey, hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies.

Coming to you once again from the Bottle Rockets Social Hall in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. As part of the WDVE radio comedy festival, which has been a thing, I understand, for ten years. I'm not sure how many years I've been a part of it. I think maybe four or five, but we'll get the exact number possibly from one of my guests today. It's my second time here at the very cool and popular Bottle Rocket Social Hall. One of the best places to come if you want to have many cop cars parked outside. I said at least a dozen or I'm not there and I think they overdid it.

I think there's 15 to 20 cop cars out there and I didn't have a chance to count them all because they were looking at me funny. Last year's festival was in July and it was hot as fuck and this year they moved it up to June and it's still pretty hot as fuck. But it's pretty comfortable in here today so far. So good job, Bottle Rocket. It's Saturday, June 22nd, 2024. Let's do some plugs. The plugs, the plugs, the plugs, the plugs. Okay, settle down. Smoke Can Washington, I'm doing stand up next weekend,

June 28th and 29th at Smoke Canin Comedy Club with special guest Jeff Tate. I thought that might happen. The Benson movie interruption is back at Dynasty Typewriter in LA on Tuesday July 2nd and I'm doing a Dams Day show of stand-up comedy with some friends on July 10th at the punchline in Sacramento, California. For all my dates and deeds go to douglovesmovies.com. Wallet! Shhh! Can we dance it? Oh my god. Possibly best audience of the year.

Or worst audience if you dislike cults. If you're afraid of cults, that was pretty scary sounding, but it's all in good fun. Let's take a look in the prize bag, shall we? I brought a, you know, made a legal weed purchase in New York City. When you're in New York City now, some of the weed places have a big sign on them saying, we've been closed because we're not legal. And then other ones are open. So that's how you can tell which ones you can shop in.

It's the ones where they let you in. And this was a place called Nichols. This is the really nice like kind of gift bag thing they gave me. I just bought like an eighth of weed and they gave me this beautiful bag. And they also gave me, I'm paying it forward, a Nichols rolling tray. Yeah.

Somebody gave me a shirt recently. You know I often give it re-gift shirts because they don't fit me but this one I just don't like what it says on it. Just looks like a misspelling of my name so that's that's not something I'm gonna like wear out in public. Something fell out when I was fishing through the stuff I hope it's not anything too good I think it was one of the pins I've got pins to say Douglas movies and another one says Doug Benson on it but you have to be able to find it I think it fell in the cracks here on this stage and so it'll be a little bit of a mission to try to to

get that back I know some of you are saying wow that's what an amazing prize bag is it possible that it could get any better or is that is that it oh there's the there's the Doug Benson pin so I don't know what the hell sounded like it fell over there but this is something that I have more than one of. I don't have a lot. I just kept one for myself, and I'm giving one away now. Because it's just such a weird thing that I have. And what's the point of having two of them?

The one I have is just sitting in a box somewhere. And it's just there. I just know that I have it. But it's still just an interesting thing to, for just a random person to now own. When Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold got married. I went. I was a guest of, you know,

someone that knew them a lot better than me. I was their guest at the wedding. It was across the street from where I lived at the time and it was in a synagogue. And we even got, I'll never give up my Yamaka that says Tom and Roseanne on it. But this is straight up, this is real. I don't know if it's worth anything, but this is a cocktail napkin from the reception that says, Rosanne and Tom, June 23, 1991.

I mean, first I'm gonna blow my nose with it, and then I'm gonna put it, no. It's just, it's still in semi-pristine condition. And someone's gonna win that today. The stakes have hardly ever been higher. And I've got three great guests that are ready to go head to head to try to win for somebody in the audience. Are you ready to meet my guests?

They all killed it last night at the Biome Theater as part of the WDVE Comedy Festival. Please give a big warm welcome to Randy Baum and Greg Fitzsimmons and Chris Porter. Hey fellas. Hello. Fun colors on the microphones, huh? Oh, I didn't even notice that until you all picked him up. It just looks like we're all holding Muppets, genitalia. Like some sort of Muppet bukkake? Yeah, I've got Cookie Monster.

Randy has Kermit. Yours would be Elmo. And yellow would be Bird. Yeah, Bert. Bert or Big Bird. Or Big Bird. You're more like Big Bird. That's fair.

Yeah, just in general. But let's meet everybody in alphabetical order by first name. So our first guest I'm going to introduce tonight is Chris Porter everybody. I had a corny introduction for you I was gonna say he's not in Kansas anymore. Oh yeah. Because you're a known Kansan.

Yeah one of my specials is called a man from Kansas. Yeah. Which they've obviously seen by the amount of laughter from the joke the applause the over what the recognition applause overwhelming but yeah so so that's why I was gonna introduce you with a cancer but I do think I do think that Kansas Chris and Chris is kind of a, that'd be a fun, you know, if you need a nickname at some point, or a wrestling name.

I'll put it on the list of possibilities. You got a list? If I ever make one. Well, thank you for being here. Did you have fun last night? I had a blast last night. You know, it's a great show with great comics and Big beautiful theater if you're not enjoying one of the comics and you just enjoy the Architecture like there's sculptures in the architecture like yes art built into the walls naked

Yeah, a lot of nudity. Yeah, voluptuous sculptures. Yeah Yeah, that's really fancy the cultural's because in Pittsburgh, the cultural trust paid to maintain and restore all those old theaters. Because before Carnegie died, he felt bad about shooting everybody's great grandparents who were striking in Homestead. So he left the trust to make sure that we always had nice theaters and libraries and stuff

like that. Does anyone else feel like they're on a Segway right now? Yeah. I know I want to move on to something else. Nicely done. Nicely done. I feel like we're on a tour. Yo, that was a great bit of business,

but speak when spoken to. And, um. We had a great time having you at the festival again this year. Oh thank you so much it's always a great time. I popped in for a few minutes last night on stage at the biome just to get that you know it's just fun to just pop in a big theater show. You're a surprise guest. Yeah. You were like. They're surprised because like why would I, you know, why? You know, so you know, some of us will see that guy tomorrow at the bottle rocket. We don't need him tonight, but I just flew in, did a quick five. Yeah, it's kind of like when Zib appeared in a rap song in the 2000s. Like, we don't need him, but we're glad he's here. It's're last in alphabetical order by first name.

It's a total, it's actually, all three of you, it's a complete flip to probably what you're used to in your lives, because alphabetical order is usually by last name. But GF, they're right crowded there together. So I don't know how often that comes into play for Greg Fitzsimmons! Thank you. Thank you very much.

Now, how much fun did you have last night getting to see Chris Porter? I, you know, honestly, like, I feel like some people are great at clubs, and I saw Chris last night as a guy who really, I really knew how to play a theater. He really fucking nailed it. Like played it. Left the mic in the stand and just brought them into him and like just pounded it out. It was great. I enjoyed it. So you're saying he was hard to follow?

He was hard to follow. I think I did follow you. I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You don't even remember that stuff doesn't matter to you. I know I don't. I follow follow you. I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You don't even remember. That stuff doesn't matter to you. I, no, I don't think.

We follow anybody any time. No, you know what? Honestly, we were all watching the hockey game. Anybody watch the hockey game last night? We had it on our phones, and so we were kind of splitting our attention between the other comedians and watching one of the most exciting hockey games in years. I'm sure everybody at the baseball game had the hockey game on on their phones. I'm sure they did.

Because that was a bit of a blue out, which I hate to see, because I like the town to be in a good mood. Yes. When the stadium's right there in the middle of the city, you want everybody to be happy. Yeah, it's a beautiful city.

There's a lot of bridges. Randy, you got a fun fact about bridges? The reason there's so many bridges is because there's so many rivers. In fact, three of them in our downtown area. Now, if you'll follow me to the next row. Hang on, hang on. That's a bridge too far. Movie reference.

Okay, so, uh, Greg, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me, Doug. You, you, you know, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me, Doug. Today this place has turned out to be, I think, very comfortable. I was worried that me and my guests might be a little warm, but it feels great in here. And I know you're gonna have plenty of time

to be uncomfortable later when you get on Bert Kreischer's tour bus. Bus is, he's got two buses. Oh, so you might not be in the same bus as Bert? No. There's like eight comics I think, so there's like two sets of bunk beds in each bus and then Bert has a suite in the back of... it takes up half the bus. Yeah, probably a Jacuzzi. It's got aacuzzi back there. There's a wet bar. Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your joke. That's fine. I mean you're more of a theater act. This is more of a bar. This is like a row house. This is where Greg shines. Sit down theater boy. Save your balance for after act two. All right, so who do you have to bunk with, do you know?

Do they tell you? I think me and Henchcliff are the smallest guys on the bus, so it'll probably be me and him. Spooning, reverse spooning, forking. Well, you're the only one that doesn't have to share a bunk. Is that what you're trying to say? Yeah, because you're so little. I see, okay. Well, you're only only one that has to share a bunk? Is that what you're trying to say? Yeah, because you're so little. I see. OK.

Well, you're only going to Buffalo, and then you're off. It's not like you're going on a long bus tour, right? No, I did that with him a couple weeks ago. We hit a bunch of dates. And you really just go to your site. After three days, you go, I don't need to change clothes. Because your suitcase is underneath the bus. You've got to open this giant door.

And your bunk is just like, it's like a cadaver. It's like when they pull out the drawer. You're all vampires. Yeah. You're vampires. And you just go like, how dirty am I? I'm fine. Can you sleep on an overnight when the bus is going?

Better than I sleep in a bed. It kind of rocks you a little bit. And there's like the humming of the engine. I totally agree on cruise ships and in planes. But something about a bus to me, I'm just like, if that one driver nods off, we're all fucked. What a horrible way to be in an accident, to be in a bug on a bus.

Well, there's two guys, arguably, or a lady could be in there. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Well, you only know that if it's like, or two ladies. If there's other planes honking behind you, then you know that there's a woman. But anyway, I didn't mean to get into a whole thing

about transportation, but I'm sure Randy has something to say about it. Oddly enough, rail car was the main way to transport one another up and down the huge hills here in Pittsburgh for many years. Yeah, speaking of the huge hills, so Chris and Greg are experiencing you came from a hotel somewhere in Pittsburgh to this venue and you saw how the road was windy and went up quite a bit to get here right last year Steph Tolev walked to this game. No she did. She fucking walked. What? And got here all sweaty and like I didn't expect it to be like that. It was pretty awesome but it was a really hot, like wet hot day.

Yeah and she was on Burt's tour bus and didn't shower. Oh really? That's true. Okay. All right so let's meet the man who, he's the one that first invited me to participate in this festival, Rape Doug Loves Movies, to the DV Comedy Festival. Give it up everybody for Randy Bowman everybody. Hey, Randy. Hey, Randy. And this is the 10th one you've done.

No way. I was up here guessing. I think I've done it four or five times. This is, I've done 10 of them, and you've done ten of them. So I've been in it from the beginning. Yeah, you've never not done. You didn't know. I did not know. You are the exclamation point at the end of the DB Comedy Festival every year. I'm so glad that you are honored by that distinction. Well, no, I've been honored that I've been, you know back multiple times as it is but I didn't I didn't realize it was ten times. How many

different venues do you think? I think three. So there were a lot of them at the Improv like several years? No, Rex Theater. A lot at the Rex. And then one or two at the Improv. Yes. And then this is our second one here. Correct. The best spot. Yeah, Bonnarock it's great. Yeah, we love it here. So here's to my next year, year six. You guys are like the old married couple where like one knows how many years you've been together and the other one's like I don't know. It's been a while. I didn't even know if Randy would know for sure because we did get busted up there by a couple years off because of COVID.

But I know I heard you say last night at the biome that you're 10 years strong. So I truly am honored to have been part of all 10 years. Yeah, we always thought it was a great way to end it, because we'd have comics come into town for the main stage event and we're like well what's a good way to finish it so that they can come into town and have two gigs basically and your podcast was a natural fit and you're friends with everybody that we end up booking half the time so it's a pretty easy sell.

Except for this time where I have to be up here. They're all just like we got to get out of town like you know it's time, it's always a timing issue. And some great comics I was able to ask could not be here. So I'm glad. So you got us. Let me finish, Chris. I'm glad that even better comedians took my call. A quick yes from all of these gentlemen, which I absolutely appreciate. But before we get into the game portion of the show today, I'd like each of you, and we'll go in the same order we just went in, we'll start with Chris, I'd like you to recommend one movie

that you think people would get something out of, whether it's laughter or change their life in some way, or, you know, just a movie that I mean you think will be a worthwhile experience for a person. I know I hate that question because then it's on you if they didn't like, if they don't like the movie. For sure. But I still want it to be something that you personally feel very good about? I don't I don't like movies. I would say the other guys I think it's very underrated on cable quite a bit. It's on okay you got to see it unedited though. It's like that's like seeing blazing saddles on

cable. You're like right no farts. This isn't funny they're just sitting around the campfire. What's that word they keep bleeping out? Yeah it's true I'm very much against the edited movies but I'm also in a hotel room a lot of times. Yeah. And instead of looking at my phone I want to watch the whatever TV they've got there. Like some movies you can watch like Forrest Gump you can watch edited all day long Oh, right. Yeah, cuz there's like one curse word. I think yeah, doesn't he say Get your fucking hands off. No really or what Forrest Gump drops an F-bomb If he did he should do it somewhere better than that. Like, I need to fucking pee.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I better not get the fucking AIDS. Life's a fucking box. He's just real mad at his mom. Yeah, lots of fucking bucks of chocolates. Fucking, who's that random dude coming out of bed? No, it really does make it, it just takes all the niceness and fun out of that expression to say you never know what you're gonna fucking get.

It's no longer, oh, the joy of mystery. Life's big questions. Okay, what was your answer? The other guys. The other guys. Do you have anything else you wanna say about that movie? I agree with you that people would probably enjoy it. I like the way it's well structured

and the fact that halfway through the movies, new gags start. Like the TLC gags don't start till like an hour and a half into the movie. And then you're like, and then it just keeps getting better and better. just thought as far as comedies go I thought it was a really good one and I don't think a lot of people know about it yeah as a comedian I think that's a strong recommendation for people to hear yeah

the other guys the other guys yeah I like the nice guys too. I didn't see that one. Oh shit. Yeah. Put that on your list. Done. Put that on one of your many lists you're not making. Greg what do you think? What would you like to recommend? Have you seen anything great lately? Lately I mean it was kind of underrated and people it didn't get huge reviews but I really liked the Amy Winehouse movie. I thought it was I mean it was kind of underrated and people it didn't get huge reviews but I really liked the Amy Winehouse movie I thought it was I mean I love her loved her the actress or the Amy the actress was amazing didn't care for Amy so much but that actress really captured whatever was going on with Amy. She really took the music to another level.

No you really enjoyed that movie. I, and it was so funny because I never check Rotten Tomatoes or anything before I see a movie. I don't read reviews, I don't watch trailers. I get to movie theaters 21 minutes after the movie is scheduled to start because I want a fresh start. I love when I can see a movie, a virgin, not knowing even the genre. Anything. Yeah, it can be really fun. Especially in genre. Anything. Yeah. Yeah, it's really, can be really fun. Yeah. Especially in genre bending movies. Well the one that- If you get a movie that starts one way

and goes another fucking way and you didn't know which way it was gonna go in the first place. That happened to me last year. I was in Hollywood and I had like two hours to kill and I walked into a multiplex. I remember that Korean movie last year that, I think it might've won the Oscar.

It was all over the place. Parasite? No, last year. Past lives. Oh, past lives? No, not past lives. Oh my god, everyone's just going to keep guessing. Everything Everywhere All I Want.

Everything Everywhere All I Want. Oh, that movie. I walked into that not knowing what genre it was, and it took me 20 minutes to go, did I take acid on the way over here what's happening and then I loved it yeah everybody loved that movie I'm shocked that I didn't think of that when you said Korean movie that won an Oscar last year last year was yeah that was a pretty good clue wasn't too long ago. Okay, so what's your answer?

I would say Amy, but I'm gonna give an honorable mention to, I just showed my kids who are now 20 and 23 repo man, and they lost their shit. Really? Yeah, I forgot how profound that movie was. It was like, you know, it was back when indie movies were really just down and dirty funny ideas like just your kids they just have a good sense of humor like they just enjoyed the humor of it. I think they

liked that they're so used to seeing things overly produced now and smooth they just loved it like you could tell there were certain scenes where they edited it and then they were like oh oh fuck, we left out why they got from A to B. Let's go shoot it in a room with one camera. And it was just like, you know, guerrilla filmmaking. They kind of felt it. But a funny script. Like they say funny things in that movie. Like let's get sushi and do some crimes. That's a fun line. All right, so Amy Winehouse movie, is that what it's called?

That's not what it's called. Amy Winehouse, the movie. Which seems disrespectful. I think it's called Back to Black. Oh, okay, yeah. I think you're right. Maybe even Colin, the Amy Winehouse story And then the AC DC movie is back in black. Yeah, you got to keep those straight for sure Okay, so let's go to Randy with the weather I Was just telling you about like watching Sorcerer for the first time

Yeah, but like I feel like I need to watch that another time to really appreciate it So I don't like it's one of those not sure I could recommend it. Cinema Paradiso is the one I probably knows it. But I never saw it until recently. And I just could not believe how much I love that movie because it's literally a movie about loving movies. But like the overall reaching theme is a little bit different. It's like centered in this world of appreciating movies and like Sicily in the 50s and how big in this little town, how big it was to have the movie each week and how the Catholic Church would cut them all up and everything. But it was like this one dude in town tells this guy who would go on to be a great director one day like,

get the hell out of here. Because if you don't, you're never gonna achieve all these dreams that you have. And I think that that's like a resonant theme for so many people that are like, you know, I could take a chance or I could just hang out where I am here where it's safe. So it's got like cool themes and if you love movies, like it just makes you feel like, oh dude, this is like everything I like about movies in a movie that's about loving movies. So it's kind of inception like in that way.

Yeah, it's very much the movie that comes up when people are talking about movies that are love letters to the movies. Yeah. That's like the, you know, if not the number one, it's way up there. And I gotta admit, I've never watched it end to end. Every time there's a montage in any award show or anywhere that's a love letter to the movies has moments from

it. And Last Action Hero, I feel like kind of steals some aspects of that movie because it's also about a little kid in a movie theater and being in the projection room and the magic of it. But then they have Arnold Schwarzenegger. Okay, so those are three terrific recommendations. I mean, three different, very different kinds of movies. You can laugh or you can cry or you could watch some foreign nonsense. No, I'm kidding. So check those movies out if you get a chance. And of course, support movies in the cinema wherever possible. And we're going to take our first commercial break. During the break, we'll pick out who my guests are playing on behalf of today. And we'll do that after this.

We'll be right back. Woo! This episode is brought to you in part by Shopify. Real quick, what's the easiest choice you can make? Short movie over a long movie, butter popcorn over plain. What about selling with Shopify? Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business. From the launch your online shop stage, to the first real life store stage, all the way

to the did we just hit a million orders stage. Shopify is there to help you grow. Whether you're selling scented soap or offering outdoor outfits, Shopify helps you sell everywhere. From their all-in-one e-commerce platform to their in-person POS system, wherever and whatever you're selling,

Shopify's got you covered. Shopify helps you turn browsers into buyers with the internet's best converting checkout, up to 36% better compared to other leading commerce platforms. And sell more with less effort, thanks to Shopify magic, your AI powered all-star. My boys over at Special Thing Records

have been using Shopify for years and they give it thumbs up across the board. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US and Shopify is the global force behind Allbirds, Rothy's, and Brooklyn and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size across 175 countries. Plus Shopify's extensive help resources are there to support your success every step of the way Because businesses that grow grow with Shopify sign up for a $1 per month trial period at

Shopify.com DLM all lowercase that's Shopify.com DLM to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash DLM. Back to the show. We're back. Oh boy, oh boy, I've got what I think are some fun games to play with you gentlemen today. I hope you really want to win for the person you're playing on behalf of because they are counting on you. This is possibly one of the best prize bags ever.

You can feel it, right? You can feel the tension in the room. And the first game we're gonna play today to determine a winner is something I like to call live die repeat. Oh, I almost forgot the important part of telling the listeners what's going on with what we did during the break. Chris is playing on behalf of a gentleman with a name tag that says Ron of the Dead

because Chris is a fan of Shaun of the Dead. And Greg is playing for Chucky Horror Picture Show to spite Jim Manji. It was a spite choice on the part of Greg Fitzhavid. He's gonna build a spite store to continue his spite against Jim Manji. And then Randy is playing for Jen Herr, which I don't know if we've,

I know they've had Jennifers on name tags, but I think that Jen Herr might be a first. Is that like your dad's favorite movie? Yeah, sure. Okay, shut up Doug. Okay, so those are the people that you're playing for. And the first game, as I said, is called Live, Die, Repeat. And this is a absolutely ridiculous game.

Like all the contestants were sweating last year during this game because it was hot as fuck. I'll say the title of a movie. And you have to tell me the title of that movie. The first person who can repeat back the full correct title of the film wins the game. I'll say it slowly. I'll say the title very slowly. And every time somebody has a guess that's wrong, I'll go back to the beginning of the title. So, you know, some people play it one way, they sit back and dive in when they really got it, and other people like to guess based on what they've heard so far. Does that make sense, Greg?

Nope. Nope. So you're gonna say it and then we're gonna take turns? You're gonna call it? No, you're just yelling out. So three people will yell it out at the same time? I don't think so, because one of you should figure it out before the others. Okay.

I think that's how the game works. But it could be very close. Yeah. But, you know, it's not like I'm going to say Jaws. Yeah. Then it really would be like, holy shit, they all said it at the same time. How do we pick which one is the winner? All right.

So here we go. You know, I got a few of these, so you'll get the hang of it if you don't in the very first one. A man, a woman, and a, a man, a woman, and a bank. Jaws. A man. Fun with Dick and Jane. That's what it's about.

A woman and a bank. You're saying the title right now? A man. Yeah, first person to repeat it back correctly. A man, a woman and a bank? That is correct, Randy! I gotta say, I gotta say, Doug, one of your, one of your poorest performances in explaining a game of all time. That was like...

People never get it. People never understand it. It has to happen, because now you understand it. Do you understand it now, Greg? There's a movie called A Man, A Woman, and a Bank. Yeah. Okay. And you were shitting on my Cinema Paradisia reference. Well, these aren't going to be movies everybody's heard of. I already set that up by saying it's not going to be Jaws.

All right. So Randy got that one, but let's see if he can do it again as we go into round two. But that was, you know, somebody was on the right track by at least trying to guess where the title was headed. Just wasn't dog. Just didn't work out. I feel like you're talking about me.

Die exclamation point. Die exclamation point die exclamation point my sweet tie-dye my sweet hi die my darling die die my darling Randy wins again Randy wins again. I knew it. This is so stupid. You guys should hear or see on other episodes, just imagine other comedians you know, and how they wouldn't shut the fuck up

guessing everything that comes into their head. And you guys are all just like, you know what, Randy, when you think you've got it, go ahead. We're polite. And you guys are all just like, you know what? Randy, when you think you've got it, go ahead. We're polite. It's usually mayhem, but fun mayhem. But this is an interesting game, because let's see if Randy can three-peat and do it one more time okay here we go

clute clute correct that is it and Randy did it again classic curveball I throw in there. Yeah. Change up. That was a great job, Randy. You really killed it. You're a good listener. But what do you think that a man, a woman, and a bank, and I Die, My Darling, and Clute have in common? Donald Sutherland. That is correct. We just lost a great actor, Donald Sutherland.

So I thought I would give him a backdoor tribute. That sounds terrible. So I decided to fuck him in the ass. Although if you remember in Animal House, we saw his ass naked. Yes, we did. That guy, like everything I'm reading and seeing now in interviews and stuff, because you always like get a deluge of information about somebody when they die.

Like I wish I'd run into him anywhere, because if you ask him anything about his career, he would stop and tell you the story. Like which is very generous with that. Everybody's stories are all the same. Like, oh, I ran into him somewhere and I just sort of said, I liked your movie and then he told me a whole story about it. And just super nice and super into acting,

like was constantly acting since the 70s. Like never, like up until, you know, I guess he was sick for a little while, but up until the very end, he was still in stuff. He was in all the Hunger Games movies. Just clearly passionate about acting and being an actor in films and TV. And so anyway... And he turned down points on Animal House. He took a day rate. There you go. Instead of taking 2% of Animal House, he didn't think it was gonna be anything. So

he was like, just pay me for the day this is gonna flop. Yeah well he had already played the clumsy waiter in their in Kentucky Fried movie, John Lannis's movie before that. So like that's another thing he just was clearly a guy if you go through his resume there's like short films here and there like he said yes to people to be a nice person I think sometimes and that was the case with Animal House, turning down the points. I'm glad tonight I actually went with points on this episode rather than the flat ten.

Yeah. I think that's gonna work. It took my agent a while to be ducked down, but we got it. I mean, I don't know if you've had the thrill of getting a residual check for a penny, but it is pretty, makes you feel pretty good that they spent more money on the stamp to get it to you

by a large margin. And the amazing thing is, I will not stop on the street to pick up a penny, I will scan and deposit a one cent check. I ripped that fucker up immediately. There used to be a bar in the valley in LA called Residuals, and the premise was if you brought a residual check that was like less than $5, you know, some small amount, if you brought it in, you know, they pin it up to the wall

and give you a free drink. And then, you know, it's in a city of a million actors who are all out of work, so they had to stop that. They had to stop that that policy but I still drive by and it's still called residuals and it makes me laugh but I wasn't getting you know when I went there I wasn't getting those checks regularly but now I get like checks for a penny a lot of the time sometimes for one show where I did a bunch of episodes they'll put them in different envelopes

even so it's like 13 envelopes that are each a penny. You're just going through each one going, come on, come on, give me, how about 23 cents? How about 50 cents, let's go. It's your own little lottery game you get to play. There's an idea that they take anything under $5 and put it into a fund for sick actors. You know? Oh really?

Yeah, to create like some kind of pension fund for people. Well, I just keep the penny check and do that. I wish I could just check something off, say don't send me the little ones. Right. Just send me the ones that are for $4. Because that's going to come in handy. All right.

So Randy, again, congratulations for winning that first game. Of course, as you and listeners of the show might be already aware, all he gets for winning that first game is he gets to go first in the next game. And this next game is something I call Go Fish. Chris Porter, before you get too excited, it's Fish F-I-S-H. It's not Fish the band. It's Fish as in the word fish. And you'll understand why this game was invented once I explain it to you. I'm going to say a fun fact or statement that applies to a motion picture. We'll start with Randy.

He gets multiple choice, three answers to choose from. I'll say this factoid and then you tell me if it involves, if it is the movie Big Fish, Rumble Fish, or The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh? Hey! Yep, I've been sucking up to the locals for 42 years. Yeah, I noticed how you gave Randy the first three correct answers. Clute?

What? Clued? But if Randy misses, because it's you know multiple choice three, if he misses then Chris gets a crack at it and if Chris misses you'll know what the answer is because it'll be the third of the three choices so you'll get what we call the gimme point. Which may in fact be the only points I get because as you know. That's how you do it Greg. I don't do well. You come in here and you just do the bare minimum and sometimes win. Yeah. Yeah it's beautiful to behold. And whenever somebody gets one right we'll start on the next one with the next person in order. Are you ready, Randy, to tell me, are you familiar with these films, Big Fish, Rumble

Fish and Fish to Save Pittsburgh? Yeah, I mean, I don't remember too much of Rumble Fish, but like I know, it's like the second outsiders. S.E. Hinton, the same writer. It is, yes, the same writer and it is the film that was shot almost concurrently with, while he was making The Outsiders, Francisco Copa thought, oh I want to make something that's grittier in black and white, more down and dirty, less big setups and spectacular looking shots.

And so they made Rumblefish. And one company that he went to to make rumble fish was like will you make rumble fish and they were like no we already saw the script for outsiders the movie was making yet he would made it yet they're like we saw the script we don't we don't want rumble fish but then he managed to find somewhere else to to do it obviously because it exists and it's in this game. You know what else also exists? The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh, which is one of my favorite titles of all time

because it's got Pittsburgh in there and the fish for some reason. And of course, Big Fish is the Tim Burton motion picture. So the first one that you get to do, Randy, is tell me which one of those three is the answer when I say not based on a book. Which one? Oh, the fish you say in Pittsburgh. Is not based on a book?

Yeah. Is this just something that you happen to know, being such an expert on all things Pittsburgh? No, because I know, as we just said, S.E. Hinton did Rumblefish. And I remember that reading that Big Fish was a book at some point, but I'm not 100% sure on that. So I'm just doing like the SAT process of elimination maybe big fish was maybe they made a novelization after the film possible in which case you know it is quite possible and that's what happened with the fish to save Pittsburgh you are correct there

is a novelization of the fits fish that saved Pittsburgh and it deviates from the plot of the film. Is what I've been told. How could they do that? I don't know what they're thinking with the novelization but those novelizations, like the person who writes them sometimes takes pride in like, well I gotta change a few things. I gotta put my stamp on it. You know what I mean?

Plus who is gonna really check it? I mean, they just hand it in. Well, yeah, and he's like, now it's called the water sign that saves Christmas. I decided to change it from Pittsburgh to Christmas. And I don't like people that are Pisces. They have a basketball team in the film and they're the Pittsburgh Pisces. Did you know that?

I did. Yeah. I guess at the beginning of the film they're the Pythons and then along the way to get good luck because they consult a fortune teller who tells them that their whole team is a Pisces I guess. And so that's why it's called the fish that save Pittsburgh. Because astrology makes the team better. I think there was like an ABA team that was the Pittsburgh. Pythons?

Pythons, yeah. But do you think they were still a team when they made this movie and changed the name? They did what? Yeah, it might have dissolved a lot of people's bank account after that one got released. I don't think it did very well. This is a movie that now, you know, just the amount of looking at it today, you know, just reading about it today that I've done, it makes me want to watch it again. But I just, I just know.

I mean, is anybody here a fan of the fish to save Pittsburgh? Applaud if you love it. Now applaud if you like ice cream. Okay, a little more, a little more. How about who likes bridges? What's the most popular thing around here, Randy, that would get everyone to applaud? I mean, Bridges was pretty good. Right?

Like this town has, as Greg, we were talking about earlier, there's an ordinate civic pride here, right? So like people in Pittsburgh love Pittsburgh. That tells you how bad the movie, The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh is. Nobody in Pittsburgh gives a shit about that movie. But like they think Stri distance is you know citizen Kane

So cuz striking distance that the Bruce Willis and Sarah Jessica Parker are like boat boat cops They're boat cops and they they boat around on the I hear there's three rivers that go through the area They boat around on the, I hear there's three rivers that go through the area. And that's what they patrol, is all the Pittsburgh rivers? And they break up all sorts of international drug transactions that are going on and stuff. There's a lot of illegal activity apparently going on

in the three rivers. Yeah, I think they probably wanted to call it Pittsburgh Vice. Or you know, or something, you know, but you just, once you throw Pittsburgh in there, you know, you know you can't like be like oh what a cool title that is but striking distance what striking distance what is in striking distance of what in the course of that film they're just about I believe to to strike the killer, the Polish Hill Strangler.

Oh, OK. Because at least they're within their grasp, you know, ironically. Oh, so why did they just call it within our grasp? I think it's the crime has to be in striking distance to a boat for them to catch them. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. They know, you know.

They're not coming up here to Allentown up the hill, which they need to. It's the Stevtolev workout and really sweat during it. Okay, so Randy figured that first one out, so he's off to the races. He's on the board. He's got one point. Chris Porter. Do you remember the premise? Big fish, rumble fish, or Pittsburgh? Yep.

You see, speaking of Donald Sutherland's butt, you see Danny DeVito's naked butt. Which film is that? A Big Fish. That is correct. Yeah. Yeah. You'll never unsee it once you've seen it. It's like, damn, that's a big baby.

Is this honey I blew up the baby? Yeah it's one of the memorable things about the big fish from 2003. People, when you bring that movie up some some people just absolutely love it. And I've never I never got the appeal. Have you seen it, Greg? Yeah, I remember it being a little trippy. It's a little bit of a trippy film, isn't it? Little bit. Yeah. But it's also like probably the dirtiest looking movie that takes place at a circus. Like it's got like the circus is just sort of like, oh, that circus has a layer of dust on it. And the cinematography, some people think it's beautiful, but I didn't get it.

Who was the director again? Tim Burton. Oh, right, right. A little bit of a departure for him because a lot of it takes place in daylight outdoors. And there's no puppets. There's nothing to animate necessarily. I love a lot of his stuff but that one. And also it's a father-son thing. Like people that have a relationship with their father they can relate to from the movie. Doesn't he have a hard time getting his father's respect in the movie?

Yes. because don't they, doesn't he have a hard time getting his father's respect in the movies? Yeah, so I think a lot of people relate heavily to that aspect of it. Yeah. I didn't know any of these movies existed until this game started. Wait, so Big Fish was really a wild guess? Yes. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that one was supposed to be easy. Everybody knows Danny DeVito's in Big Fish. Oh, I can hear it in the audience when they're like, he's got to know this one. I feel like I've walked into, like, a 400-level class...

in a subject I have zero knowledge about, and everyone's just like, oh, the cinematography. I'm like, yeah, right? Fucking...yeah, it was good. But we let you guess and you could have just played it off like you knew, but you're an honest person. I am. I like people to know my mindset. Well it's especially fascinating to know now as we move forward with this game that you

know nothing about any of these films. Except for we've already, you know, Randy and I have been yapping about all of this. Oh no, I feel like Greg and I are friends and we went on a double date and our dates are getting along better than we are with our dates. And Greg and I are just looking at each other like, should we go do another podcast? No, you should shut up and eat your salad. How many times can he excuse himself and go to the bathroom?

Porter's doing coke again. OK, Greg, you're going gonna go first on this one. I was hoping to get that third spot. I think you'll figure it out. Maybe we'll see. Just make your best guess. Which of the films Big Fish, Pittsburgh, Rumblefish has this quote in it? Don't rub me the wrong way.

I'll have you rubbed out. Jaws. Don't rub me the wrong way I'll have you rubbed out. I believe that that is. I like the way you're setting it up like you're gonna tell us the correct answer. A fish called Wanda. Don't get me started about the fish choices I had to make in preparing this game. I'm going to say Rumblefish on that one. You're going Rumblefish? Yep. Well that is not the answer. That is not correct.

I got so excited. I thought we were going to have a three-way tie, but instead it goes back to Randy. You got two choices. Don't rub me the wrong way. I'll have you rubbed out. Is that from which of the two movies that Greg didn't say? It sounds corny enough to be Fish and Save Pittsburgh. Do you think that line is corny? Well, like, I can hear it being delivered. Like, I don't know.

Do you love that line? I'm like, yeah. I'm sorry. No, it's brilliant. But, uh. So it's like, I wrote that line. No, I definitely think it's dumb. But I don't think any of these movies are above that line,

necessarily. But what's your answer again? Fish to Save Pittsburgh. That is correct your answer again? Fish to save Pittsburgh. That is correct. It is the fish to save Pittsburgh. Randy's five for five. Randy is, well, that's not how I add it up. I look at him as being two for two

because he just won the second game. And that means, you know what that means. Randy has to go first. Could be, could not possibly work against him. Randy has to go first in our next and final game that we will play after this break. We'll be right back. We're back.

We're back! So much fun during the commercial break as always and we have one game left to play today and Randy's gonna go first in this game and this is a game where I like to play along so it's gonna go Randy, me, Greg, Chris, go around like that. And it's something that I call Last Person Standing Extreme. Woo! What's so extreme about it, you might ask? Well, our participants today have a new lifeline that we've just instituted. If they need

help at some point they can call a celebrity. We just all have to agree that the person they're calling is a celebrity for it to happen and you know it's pretty pretty loose definition of celebrity so we'll see what happens. But you also get a normal lifeline and that's the person in the audience that you chose to play on behalf of today. And the game is simple, kind of. We're gonna get three names of actors and actresses from those three people that you chose to play for.

Then we're all gonna take turns naming movies that any of those three performers were in. If you can't think of one, you can go to your two lifelines, the person in the audience or a person on the phone to try to stay in the game. If you can't think of one, you're out. Last of you three standing will win and the person you're playing on behalf of will get this prize bag. Did you hear what's in the prize bag? Oh my God, that cocktail napkin.

Isn't it wild? Yeah. This is the weirdest thing to give away. It is. And to have. If I were them, I'd probably pass it along. It hasn't worked out for me. I think it's cursed.

But yeah, I also have a Yamaha with Rosanne and Tom on it, and I will not part with that. No. No, that's mine till the end. Might even take it with me. Put it on me when you cremate me. Okay, so like I said, the actor and actress's names are going to be chosen by the people you're playing for.

Who was Randy playing for again? He was playing for Jen Hur. So Jen, just in this first slot, I'm going to give you the option of naming an actor or an actress. Could be, could identify as anything. Who would you like to pick? Steve Buscemi. Steve Buscemi. The great Steve Buscemi punched in the face on the street recently and we all felt terrible and wished him a quick recovery and it sounds like he's doing good and it'll really perk him up to hear that we're using his

name in this game today and then we'll move on to Greg is playing for Ron of the Dead. No I'm playing for Chuck sorry, you're playing for Chuckie Horror. Chuckie, we need an actress. Name any actress. You've played her before, but I love her. Jamie Lee Curtis. He loves Jamie Lee Curtis. So he's going Jamie Lee Curtis.

That was... Greg's. Greg's, right. Yeah, Jamie Lee. Okay. Chris is playing for Ron of the Dead. What do you got, Ron? Another actress. Uh, Julianne Moore. Julianne Moore. You really don't want to help these guys, do you?

I was going to say, can I look her up? I mean, she might be single. You can go ahead and try. When you get back to LA. She's married to a director who's directed a couple of her films. I said too much! Alright, I don't think I could think of the names of the films that her husband directed, but she's been in a lot of stuff. So that's the game, is those three actors, Bushemi, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Julianne Moore, any of their movies, as long as you can name one, you're still in.

Like I said, I like to play along, so Randy start us off, and then I'll go second. Big Lebowski. The Big Lebowski, Steve Bichette. You know if you wanted me to finish it. And Julianne Moore. So that's the actual double that I don't know how often that's going to happen but you got that. Okay, so I'm going to go, I try Greg to go more obscure, kind of, you

know, help everybody out, not make it hard for everybody. So I'm gonna say Halloween. Halloween 2. That's what I was driving at. Thank you. Chris. True lies. That's right. Randy. I'm trying to like think tactic like should stay rare. Yeah. Go with the broad brush ones. I am holding on for dear life. Barton Fink. Yeah, don't say anything that Chris might say. I'm going to go with another obscure one that rarely gets mentioned. In fact, when it comes up, sometimes people are confused. It's Korean, I think?

Everything everywhere all at once. Yeah. Halloween III. Dude, slow down. Slow your roll, buddy. Save them? Yeah, you're rubbing me the wrong way. I don't want to have to rub you out. Miss Curtis is not in the third film in the series. In fact, she did... Oh, shush you. Miss Curtis is not in the third film in the series.

In fact, she, oh shush you. Is that true though? Is that a real trivia fact? Where does her voice show up on the TV? Look, it's even Chucky coming in with that. My partner. With that fucking business. Making sure I don't lose.

But here's the bad news, Chucky. Is that he's not saying the title correctly. You know we do need the correct title. So that's another reason why you might wanna move on from Halloween 3. All right, I'm gonna go with Raising Arizona. Yeah, which one's in that? I mean Fargo. Chris how you doing you're hanging in? Con Air. Yeah Steve Buscemi? Yeah. Nice. Thank you. Oh, I wonder what Randy's going to say next. Trading places. Oh.

Oh. I'm sorry. Yay! Halloween III, Season of the Witch. Oh. Ghost World. It's Buscemi. You're killing it with the Buscemi's.

Holy shit. You're a Buscemi machine over there. Oh, so he's going, Chris is going to his lifeline Ron. Ron, you could go strategic here if you want, but what's your answer? Body of evidence. Body of evidence. Was that Madonna? Oh shit, and which? Julianne Moore's in it, holy crap. Oh, I thought of a good, obscure Julianne Moore. Randy, is it your, wait, whose turn is it? I just went, okay, Randy. Boogie nights. Yes.

I got so many things in my head now but are you what are you looking at oh okay Chris is looking at people to call for a second I was just like oh he's just fucking opening up IMDB have we said this in regards to Jamie Lee fish called Wanda? No. I was sitting on that. Yeah. Oh, you were.

Yep. Look at you over there sitting on names. Wait, now you're pulling out your phone. That was the one name you were sitting on? The one I was sitting on. Oh shit. Okay. So you want to call somebody or do you want to use your lifeline in the room?

Uh, oh, I can do a lifeline in the room or the phone or both. Yeah, you got Chucky, or in the next round you could call somebody. Oh no, Chucky's fucking sharp. Because Chucky's gonna hook you up for sure. Talk to me, Chucky. Did you say prom night yet?

We have not said prom night yet. Prom night, nice. There you go. Somebody wants a napkin. I'm gonna I'm gonna make a call. Okay who do you want to call? I'm gonna call Jonathan Kite. Oh I love it. Comedian. He was on that really awful sitcom. Donut shop or something? No, Two Broke Girls. Two Broke Girls. He was also on a, I wrote on a sketch show on Fox with Jamie Foxx

that he was a star of. He was very talented. Lot of characters. I've always liked the name Jonathan Kite. It's got a good sound to it. Yeah. And you can tell him to go fly himself. it. Yeah. And you can tell him to go fly himself. This is exciting. It's gonna go to his voicemail like that. He's so good that he's working right now. You just say, call me right back

and hang up and we'll see what happens. I gotta call you a friend who's smart but doesn't work a lot. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you're trying to reach is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording you may hang up. Hey dude, it's Porter and I'm on Doug Loves Movies and I needed your help and you... Well here I am in voicemail so... Thanks. Thanks for nothing, Jonathan. It'd be so funny if like I called Jonathan on mine and he answered. Just like, Fitzy!

I'm not doing a goddamn thing. You know who's trying to call me? Porter, that fucking asshole. Do you have his number, Greg? Let's call him. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's, you know, but then ask on Chris's behalf because he's his lifeline. I know I don't have his number. I thought I had it.

Oh, shit. Who's cool now? Oh, wow. This guy. Is Steve Buscemi in Reservoir Dogs? Sure is. There it is. Oh, he is.

Is Steve Buscemi in Reservoir Dogs? Sure is. Oh he is. Mr. Pink, you're thinking because the strategy you're not thinking because you can't think of one. Trees Lounge. Yes, he directed that Steve Buscemi but you know I feel like I can take this one down because not to be too insulting but you guys are just a bunch of airheads I think you're blowing a lot of smoke what is a movie? Sure. It was about a cigar shop. Bunch of guys that hung out at a cigar shop. I like it. Wasn't he in that? Sure.

Harvey Keitel. Yeah, with Harvey Keitel. Yeah, thank you. It's getting more real every moment. No, I like it when, you know, I don't use any source to verify. So it's just like, it's just based on, you know, it's like if we were playing a game at somebody's house and we didn't have internet. And to the best of my knowledge, you sound correct.

Yes. And I like that. Because if you're wrong and I find out about it later, it's funny that you got it past me. Chris, did you think of another one? It's Steve Buscemi in Reservoir Dogs. I was so excited I felt you're gonna say a different one. I'm gonna I don't I'm gonna say The the holiday because why not? That movie with Jack Black, Jude Law, Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz.

Pretty sure Julia Ann Moore is in it too. She walks in the back. She's one of the innkeepers. Oh man, she is in some, Julia Ann Moore is in some interesting ones and maybe we'll get to them. But thank you for trying, Chris Porter. Do I have to leave? Do I leave?

No, hang out, hang out. You still get to do your, you know, plug your stuff at the end. And anytime you have anything to say, please join in. But if you would rather just watch stuff on your phone, that's cool. I had texts, I was seeing if it was Jonathan Kite saying...

Oh, did he text you back? New phone, who dis? But it was not, it was my family group chat. They were laughing at a meme. Do you ever have to step in and go, I'm a professional and that's not funny? The best was my uncle made a cunt joke and my aunt left it. She let, you know, like if you're in a group chat,

it says like this person has left. And then someone let her back in just so she could ask that same uncle a question. And I got on another group chat with all my cousins and was like how funny would it be if you dropped another cunt joke right now? Randy Magnolia mm-hmm yeah I was surprised that when Boogie Nights came up that didn't follow right behind. All right, so this is an interesting one for Julianne Moore

because she plays a circus clown. Could be a different kind of clown. I'm not committing her to the circus, but she's a clown in full clown makeup who fucks Tim Meadows in, oh shit. The Single Man. in oh shit the single man is that right ladies ladies man shit ladies man you're out I'm out who you calling Greg I'm gonna call a gentleman named Judd Apatow. Oh shit. You can't possibly pick up. He's producing multiple films right now. How come Chris's was so crisp and yours sounds dookie? I think you should text me.

Is that his outgoing message? Judd, is that your outgoing message or are you talking to me? Oh, that's it. Yeah, really, he either says that angrily or it's his outgoing message. Do you want to text him? If I text him it'll probably be like, you should write me a letter. I'm gonna, let me guess one more. Julianne Moore, wasn't she in like a Merchant Ivory period piece at some point?

She should be right? She should have been. She's versatile. I'm gonna say Elizabeth. No. Okay. That was Kate Blanchett, so don't even try to say Elizabeth too. But thank you for playing. Thanks for having me. Randy, do you have one more just to, you know, pour some salt in it? I mean, yeah, Buscemi should be easy. I feel like Julia Moore and Buscemi should be easy.

I feel like Julianne Moore and Buscemi, you could just go all P.T. Anderson for Julianne Moore and you could just go all Coens for Buscemi. We went through a lot of Coens. You don't have to be a dick about it. You can just win the game. You don't have to tell us how fucking easy it is. Here's how you could have won, Chris.

Ever see an Adam Sandler movie? Buscemi's in most of them. Yeah, all of them. Yeah. I was going to say Billy Madison. But not every one though, so it's a minefield. It is tricky. But what do you got, Randy?

Billy Madison. What's your final one? Billy Madison. Very good. That's probably the first Buscemi-Sandler collab. And Buscemi's just been in every other one at least ever since. Right? He's been in a bunch of them. I think all of them.

Seems like it. At least like a cameo or something like that. Yeah. He's always got really great character actors that just want to come in and just fucking be ridiculous. Like Al Pacino in a Sandler movie is just insane. How he just shows up and is just like so into it. So over the top whoah all right so congratulations Randy Balvin is our winner today he did it against all odds I don't know how he made it happen but congratulations to go to Jen Herr for winning. We did it Jen.

Don't get your nose too close to that napkin you might start to feel cold a little later. Is your relationship solid? Why do I love this napkin? I just love this napkin, it smells so good. All right, Randy, let's do your, what do you want to promote? What are your plugs? Not the DV morning show. I mean, a lot of people here know what that's all about.

We've been having another great year. The DV Comedy Festival wraps up with this show, man. So thanks for being a part of it. Every fucking year, by the way. Every year. Like, I know that. 10 years. How profoundly appreciative you are to be the ending point on every single one of these.

I was talking to Sarah Tiana last night, just reminding her who was on the time she did it over at the Rex, and she was just like, this is all news to me that I did this, and these people were on it. It was Burt and Brad Williams and Sarah Tiana. Yeah, and Aaron Kleiber and... That was a way better show than this one.

And Brad... Brad Williams popped in and... That's what he does. ...jobbed for a little bit bit Brad just pops in he doesn't really he's not gonna break the door down he's a dwarf for those he yeah he's the first one to know that so I still can't do it like much in his presence the jokes you know because I still even though he's says he's fine with it it's still wild how badly you

want to make jokes. Oh me, him, Andrew Santino and Jimmy Schubert went and had lunch and Brad went and took a phone call when he came back we had a high chair at his place. Oh no! high chair. Oh no. And he just walked in and was like, that's a good one. That's a good one. Every time I introduce him at the Comedy Store I put the mic stand up. Oh god damn it. You guys are terrible. Every chair I sit in is a high chair. So what would you like to, you want to promote some stuff, Chris Porter? I have a special on YouTube I would like you to watch called There's No Money in Babies.

So don't look in there. Just go, there's no, YouTube search, there's no money in babies. And I'm the first thing that pops up. Right after Brad Williams. Same thing as like a sex trafficking thing. But it'd be cool if you watched that. And other than that, I'm coming to a funny bone near you

slash improv. So if you have a comedy club in a mall, I'll be there. You like chicken fingers and April spritzes? Go see Chris Porter. Oh yeah. Do you need to return an item but also need something to do? Look, Chris Porter. It's one stop shopping. I love it. Greg Fitzsimmons. Well, you really almost pulled off a miracle here today. Getting skunked? Yeah. There's been miracles in the past, Doug. It's true. Fitts Dogg Radio is the podcast and then I'm doing live dates in later this summer in Denver, Alaska,

and Austin and somewhere else go to FitzDawg.com for tickets. Thank you guys. Douglas Movies is back at Helium in Portland, Oregon on Saturday, July 20th. And our annual San Diego Comic Con, Douglas Movies, is going to be at the American Comedy Company on Wednesday night, July 24th. Some people know that that's where the eagle is on stage at all times. Very well lit eagle. And so we've given him a voice and he says, Cuckoo! Hey!

Okay, so I got two questions before we go. First of all, I thought of a good one, Randy. Is there anybody here tonight? Applaud if you think you've been to all 10 Doug Love's movies tapings as part of the DVE Comedy Festival. Has anybody done that? How about, Randy, Randy has. How about nine, eight, seven,

Ron, six, eight, nice Ron. All right, Ron wins that game. Next game is who's gonna give me some weed? No, I'm kidding. Um, I got plenty, I gotta fly out tomorrow. No, my question is do any of the panelists on stage, do any of you have like a favorite last line from a movie? Cause I like ending the shows with the last line for a movie I wrote one down but I always like when there's

time I like to ask my guests if they have one that they really like I got anything come to mind Greg what do you have the original Top Gun the last line Val Kilmer says you can you can fly on my wing. You can be my co-pilot anytime. What? You can be my co-pilot anytime. Yeah, right, right, right. And he goes, no, you can be my co-pilot anytime.

I mean, you're fucking it up pretty bad, but he goes, you can be my co-pilot anytime. He goes, bullshit, you can be mine. Yeah. Yeah, it's clean. Yeah. And that's really, no other dialogue is spoken for the rest of the credits roll on that I think he's right. Yeah bullshit. You can be mine burn. Ernie. Ernie. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, how what do you say after that?

There really is stuff. What if they just started fighting like don't fuck you It just sounded like such a sixth grade fight, you know, you could be mine. I swear, doesn't he like have a line of dialogue with the love interest in the film? She's not on the aircraft carrier. She's just not there. She's a trainer. Yeah, so she's gone. Like we don't really care what happens to her. In fact, we're gonna keep that going. Actually, she turns into an old lesbian. In the sequel? Well, Kelly McGillis.

Oh, the actress? The actress turned into a Willis-Fair founder. Like she did a magic trick? She had a formal presentation. The 80s were crazy, bro. Let's be clear. That was a love story between Val Kilmer and Tom Cruise. Right.

That's, I guess, what is ultimately being said here. That is the gayest movie of all. I mean, going back and looking at it, you're like, yeah, this is pretty homoerotic. This volleyball scene is not necessary in the least. Yeah. No, during that scene, Tom Cruise is checking his watch. Like, have I had my shirt off long enough? Yeah. No, during that scene Tom Cruise is checking his watch like is it have I had my shirt off long enough this could be more just

all right. One more hour of gay stuff and then I got to go be straight. I got to get this oil off of me to have a hetero sex scene with somebody who's gonna become an old lesbian. Dude if I was ever playing beach volleyball with two dudes and one of them flexed down on me, I'd be like, games over. I'm leaving. I thought we were just having fun here. See you later, Showboat. Alright, well I've got my final line for the episode today. Thank you to the Bottle Rockets Social Hall. A great place to entertain your face.

I just wrote that slogan. A great place to entertain your face with drinks and hot dogs and laughter. And let's hear it for all of my guests tonight. Randy Bowman, Chris Porter, Greg Fitzsimmons, Fitzdogg. And Greg Fitzsimmons. Fitz Dogg. Yeah. And as always,

bullshit, I can, you can be mine. You can be mine. You can be mine. You can be mine. Now it's time for Dubs and Watch Another. Talky eyes of gold is dealing prowess makes it

cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies!