Doug Loves Movies - (Rebroadcast) Bob Saget, Jon Hamm and Geoff Tate guest
Episode Date: January 11, 2022With the unfortunate passing of the legendary Bob Saget, we revisit his appearance on Doug Loves Movies from 2018. Live from the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Bob Saget, Jon Hamm and Geoff Tate... to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey everybody, as you've probably already heard, the great Bob Saget is no longer with
us.
He passed away on Sunday.
He only made one Doug Loves Movies appearance in the three years since then.
We've discussed him coming back on the show, but we just never made it happen.
But he became a great friend,
and if you're in the mood for it,
here's his one episode of Douglas Movies with Jon Hamm and Jeff Tate.
Rest in peace, Bobby Sags.
Doug hates candy wrappers,
screaming baby sticky seeds
with 50 as a top or kernels in his teeth.
They're still not born, then he won't see
because Doug loves movies.
Hey, what's going on?
Is there some sort of great guest here tonight or something?
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again from our original home. We've been here 12 years now.
The UCB Theater on Franklin Avenue
in Los Angeles, California!
I've learned that, like, you know,
in other cities, they're very excited
to hear the name of their own city,
but Los Angeles is kind of over it.
Probably because we're all from somewhere else.
So I've learned how to ramp up and
say it in a way that just draws applause out of
people. Even the most jaded
amongst you. Even the Scientologists.
It's Tuesday, May 29th,
2018.
And did we bring some name tags?
Oh,
we did bring some name
tags.
I'm not even going to get into it.
That's how good the guests are.
But thank you guys for bringing those, and we'll see them again soon.
Had a great time in Toronto, Canada.
Toronto, as the people there say it.
And I'm psyched to be going back to both Vancouver and Montreal
over the next two months.
More Doug plugs.
Doug Loves Movies is back
at Cab City Comedy in Austin, Texas
this Saturday, June 2nd at 4.20.
And we're back at The Secret Group
in Houston, Texas
on Saturday, January 9th.
You're right.
That's bad routing
to have a week off
between two shows
that are 45 minutes
playing right apart.
But that's also at 420.
And for all of my dates
and deets and links,
go to douglosemovies.com.
That's douglosemovies.com.
Yeah!
Let's take a quick peek into the...
It's time for a quick peek.
A quick peek into the prize bag.
There's that thing.
I'm going to wait and tell you about that in a second.
I got a box of condiments
when I ordered a cheeseburger on a plane.
Yeah, I'll just
fucking eat it plain because I'm on
one. And
this is a thing I got when I saw
the Deadpool 1 and
2 double feature on
opening night. It's a Deadpool
2 desk buddy, whatever that
means. I guess you're just supposed to
put it on your desk and think it's
your real friend.
This is a beautiful Christmy Peacemaker bong. Geez, well how do I do that? I saved the best for last. A copy of Toronto Magazine. All of that is
gonna be somebody's tonight. Plus stuff brought by my three guests. Please give it
up for Jeff Tate, John
Hamm, and Bob Saget. You brought yourself, Bob.
That's what really counts.
You have a beautiful bag.
Thank you.
Yeah, John threw that bag on the table
like there was going to be a criminal exchange of some kind.
I think Joe Pesci's head is in it.
There's six more heads in a double bed.
That's what I was trying to reference.
It's a movie night, right?
I don't know.
All right, got quiet.
I'll stop now.
Let's meet them individually.
Starting with first-time guest on the show, Bob Saget, everybody.
Thank you very much.
I know nothing of this format.
Yeah, you didn't.
Thank you for inviting me.
Does he ever get applause?
Doug Benson, a round of applause.
They chant things.
Finally, after all these years, I got some applause.
I deserve some of the credit for this.
But thank you for being here.
Thank you for...
I got to meet Mel Brooks because of this man.
He hooked me up, and you didn't need to do that.
I mean, sexually, I hooked him up.
Yeah, I made love to Mel Brooks,
and my saddle's been blazing ever since.
But...
Come on, Bob!
That's been blazing.
That wasn't pre-written.
No, not at all.
And you did reenact that fart scene around the campfire.
Yeah, right?
You wore that Anne Bancroft mask.
That's in poor taste.
You don't even have anything here to plug tonight, necessarily.
I'll plug you if the night goes well.
Fuller House.
Fuller House on Netflix.
Right, but I never plug that.
I've never heard you bring it up ever.
No, I don't bring it up.
It's the fourth season.
I never bring it up.
And they let me do it.
What's the season?
Two and a half episodes?
Holy shit.
I thought it just came back.
It's four seasons into the reboot?
Four years of your life have gone by.
And it's not a reboot because it's all the regular people.
Yeah.
All the origines.
Except for the two smart fashionistas that I love that are in New York.
They didn't do it.
Yeah.
Right.
They're on a different...
Lori Loughlin and who else?
Who's the other one?
Lori's there.
I haven't seen it.
John Stamos, who's a nice man.
He's a good man.
We love John Stamos.
Lovely man.
Lovely man.
Pillar of the Greek community.
He really is.
It's he and Vardalos.
And then Aretha Wilson right in the middle.
That is it.
That's kind of it.
That's all the Greeks.
Yeah, Anthony Quinn's dead.
Oh, and Tony Tretteria.
What?
I don't know.
It's Malibu.
Pay attention to me, Bob,
not the handsome man to your left.
All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's John Hamm!
Yeah!
Upright Citizens Brigade Theater slash Franklin.
Hello. Hi, Doug.ight Citizens Brigade Theater slash Franklin. Hello.
Hi, Doug.
Hey, dude.
This might be the first time you come on the show all the time, and I appreciate that,
but this might be the first time we really have a timely plug.
You've got a motion picture that is going to be released nationally.
A feature film.
Internationally.
Yeah, it's feature length.
It is feature length.
You finally got out of the short game.
The shorts, yeah. The shorts just weren't doing it. They were it's feature length. It is feature length. You finally got out of the short game. The shorts, yeah.
The shorts just weren't doing it.
They were fun
while they lasted.
Yeah, but they're fucking short.
It'll grow on you.
Yeah, it's called Tag.
It's in theaters nationwide.
Tag, everybody.
It looks so good.
Sorry, myself,
Ed Helms, friend of the show. Jeremy Ren Ed Helms Friend of the show
Jeremy Renner
Possible friend of the show
He's never been on
But you know what
Hawkeye's on home arrest
That was solid joke you guys
If you're looking for
Infinity War jokes
That was the one
Jake Johnson
Hannibal Buress
Hannibal Buress has been
On the program
There we go
Yeah
Good people
Great lineup.
Funny, funny, funny, funny, funny stuff.
Saw the trailer today and enjoyed it.
Based on a true story.
These adult people, actual jobs and careers and families take time out of their life one
month every year to play tag with each other and have been doing so since they were nine.
They are now in their 50s.
each other and have been doing so since they were nine they are now in their 50s so it's it's based on uh the real life story of these guys and uh and we just behave like idiots for an hour and a
half and it's pretty fun to watch it's uh looks very violent i wouldn't say it's violent it's
maybe it's action oriented yeah there's there's some bumps and and and craziness along the way
but yeah ed helms gets hit in the face with a donut very hard.
Is that violence?
Against the donut, maybe.
No, you know how this show goes.
People get hit with donuts all the time here.
That's out on June 15th, I want to say.
You should say.
I am correct.
I did it.
Also joining us right now,
the happiest man on earth.
So excited to be on this panel.
It's Jeff Tate, everybody.
I can't believe you're doing that.
I know saget is harder to chant, but come on.
I'm embarrassed you guys shouldn't.
Okay, seriously.
Seriously, no.
Hey, buddy, how's it going?
Pretty good.
Listen, by the end of the show
are you going to fill that Gatorade bottle
it looks like it's got urine
in it
is that one of the popular flavors now
is that the water world flavor
it's really orange
what's wrong with your piss Doug
it's that orange
you should rephrase that
what's right with my piss
what color is your urine Doug That it's that orange. You should rephrase that. What's right with my piss?
What's wrong with my Gatorade? What color is your urine, Doug?
It's Gatorade color.
But it would be more yellow.
Golden, Gatorade, whatever that is.
What flavor is that?
Mango.
Oh, okay.
It's the number one flavor.
It's sweeping the nation.
Mango flavor Gatorade.
Is it at number one or is it sweeping and approaching number one?
It's going towards number one with a bullet.
Is that what that means?
Like it's not number one yet, but it's fast approaching.
Yeah, let's go with that.
Is this your plug?
No.
He does have an album that half of the title is Gatorade, right?
No, but,
I mean,
the next one probably.
I'll put Gatorade
in the next one.
Wait, what was that one?
Hot Dogs and Gatorade
or something like that?
Oh, that's just a thing
I had for dinner once.
Then I said it out loud
on a different podcast
and then now everyone's like,
you should have that
for dinner all the time, and I do.
It's not bad.
It's good.
All right, buddy.
You ever have hot dogs and Gatorade, Bob?
I actually put hot dogs in my Gatorade just to cool them off.
All right, not everything's a joke, Bob.
Have you ever had...
Have a serious conversation, Bob, about hot dogs and Gatorade.
Oh, hold on. This is the dramatic podcast?
This part about hot dogs
and Gatorade, some things need to be
taken seriously, Bob.
Hot dogs and Gatorade. Hot dogs, this is my flesh.
Gatorade, this is my blood.
It's like I'm the lord.
But hot dogs is made
of people, like Soylent Green.
Yeah. Lips and assholes, the two best parts.
Everyone's like, I don't want to put those in my mouth when they're hot dogs,
but every other time of the day, that's all you want.
Have you ever said that before?
Swear to me you haven't.
No, I haven't said that before.
Lips and assholes is a great name if you have twins.
All right, Jeff. Lips and assholes is a great name if you have twins Alright Oh I do have something to plug
Oh well we do that at the end traditionally
I mean I don't want to I was just saying I did
Okay
I don't intend to I won't you can't make me
Jeff what did you bring for the prize bag tonight
I brought a copy of my album.
It's called People Are Where People Make Them.
It's right here.
Look at it.
Right?
It's a CD that you look at,
and it will remind you
that you can listen to this on Spotify.
And why are there two more copies sitting there?
Well, I don't know how the show's going to go.
And I might need to start putting more in.
I got them like an ante.
This is like my stack.
I just assumed
you were going to be
trying to sell them
after the show.
Man, I have like a hundred.
I should have brought
more than three.
Well, these are going
for 50 bucks each
tonight, you guys.
So line up after the show.
John, I'm so excited about this big bag of stuff, you guys. So line up after the show. John, I'm so excited
about this big bag of stuff that you brought.
It's a big bag. Do they get to keep
the bag? Yeah, the bag is the thing.
Oh, okay. It's a beautiful
bag. It's a bag.
Everyone needs a bag.
Man, I just bought a bag
just like that fucking yesterday.
Did it have another bag in it Oh to bagger it's a double bagger did it have two Cardinals hats in
it no I don't care if you don't like the Cardinals do it you don't have to use
the hats you like the bag did it have sunglasses in it no oh look let me see
one of those someone went through his house and looked for
schwag. Yes, I did.
Did it have a
Jon Hamm nightlight in it? No.
Did it have a weird thing
that keeps things dry in it? No.
Oh, I like to eat those.
Did it have a tag from the
Gap that says L on it? Probably not.
Maybe it did.
Actually, maybe your bag did.
That's it.
That's what you get.
My bag was an amazing win.
That's a lot of great stuff.
Oh, Dougie.
Oh, I like these glasses.
Oh, Dougie.
Can I trade one of these CDs for one of those sunglasses?
We'll see.
We'll see how the night goes.
And one of these bags?
I got two CDs.
Well, I do have kind of an unspoken rule that comes up every once in a while,
so I guess it's spoken, where if a guest on the panel wants something from the prize bag,
they can have it.
So, Jeff, here, take these sunglasses.
Yeah.
There's another sunglasses in the bag, so, you know, it'll work out all's like it's like a Yankee swap of
yeah
very good
very good
right now I'm in
casino
I love the way
you threw that bag
over here
it's so
that's a really nice
gift
you really put a lot
of thought into that
what'd you bring Bob
well I
I didn't know
that this one's got a switch in the front it's similar to your gift John What'd you bring, Bob? Well, I didn't know that there's...
This one's got a switch in the front.
It's similar to your gift, John,
but it's just a nightlight of my head.
So someone's going to have, in one outlet...
Oh, that's not...
One of us facing up and one of us facing down.
Oh, my God.
Maybe they could switch it out.
It depends upon the mood, I guess.
Does this still count? Can I get both those nightlights too?
I didn't know I was going to be
out of 69. You blew it
on the sunglasses.
But thank you for helping me with
that gift because I really had trouble picking one out.
I didn't tell Bob about the
prize back part. He didn't say anything like
this is Hanukkah. He didn't say that.
That's how many Jews are in here, like two.
I'm so scared of my own life right now.
Of it?
Of it.
Yeah, okay.
So, of it I meant.
But this is...
A lot of stuff happened to my ancestors.
You must just walk around so confident because Netflix
doesn't really cancel shows per se.
No, they're out there.
You can say anything and they're not going to
just yank your show.
Talk to the people over behind
House of Cards.
Oh no, see this is where we don't want to go.
They just killed them all.
The show still kept going.
Yeah, right.
One person didn't.
John, it was always going to start falling apart.
Didn't you read the title?
It is a house of cards.
You're correct.
I should have seen it coming.
I was scared there was going to be a fuller house of cards was the draft that was going on.
I'm more than bothered to watch the new series, Jenga.
Series? That's a feature.
Oh, sequel to Tag.
Yeah, Jenga.
All right.
And then Hangman.
About a man who's well hung.
No, there was just a movie called Hangman without Pacino.
Really?
Yeah, he's got a huge dick.
I guess you were
right I don't know why I interrupted I apologize these night lights the Jon
Hamm and Bob Saget night lights were supplied by a company called glass
action which I discovered in when I was in Austin Texas and Martha Kelly had a
night light that she put in the prize bag and you can get your own.
You can just reach out
and get a nightlight
of yourself,
your pet,
your lover,
Bob Saget.
He's already made one.
He could probably do it again.
All of these are available
at the etsy.com.
Your thumb was covering it.
I thought it said
ass action.
I did not know.
Oh, the card?
Yeah, which would be a great company.
Yeah, but this is... God, I got quiet.
These are made of glass, not of ass.
You know what's bad about
a podcast is I can really hear the crickets.
Well, you know, you should have been
on the show when we were at Meltdown Comics.
They literally had crickets over there.
Etsy.com slash shop slash,
I gotta give this guy a good plug,
Glass Action.
Seriously, go get one for someone you love.
They're pretty amazing.
All right.
That's all going in the prize bags.
My lovely CVS bag
and John's show-offy bag
are going to be won
by somebody tonight. But first, before
we do that, Bob, I have a question
for Jeff.
You're an
astonishing interviewer.
Yeah, you're
astonished that I get to do it?
No, it's just you're able to look
at me, but think about him.
You know.
That's how I live my life.
I'm never present. Jeff,
what was the last movie you saw?
It was called Solo,
a Star Wars story.
Yeah.
How'd that work out for you?
I think it's the best one Finally no Jedi
Right, those guys are boring it turns out
You think it's the best Star Wars movie yet?
Yeah man, it's the only one where anybody
Fucking jumped on a moving train
Yeah
Man, you were really a sucker for trains
Remember the old r. Remember how much you
loved that
fucking train?
Yeah.
Have you seen
Thomas the Tank
Engine?
I bet you'd
enjoy that.
The stakes are
less high, but I
watch Unstoppable
occasionally.
I like all sorts
of train movies.
It was Han Solo
and Chewbacca
and Lando and
stuff.
It was fucking
great.
A lot of nice callbacks to the other movies. Chewbacca and Lando and stuff. It was fucking great. A lot of nice callbacks
to the other movies.
Chewbacca as a youth.
Well, I mean,
he's a little younger.
Less hair,
would you say?
More of just a guy
with more hair
if you're younger, right?
He's several hundred years old.
So in this movie,
he's like 10 years younger.
So there's not like
much difference.
Like it's not like those 10 years.
So John's probably right.
It would be more hair if he was younger.
I'm sure.
I mean, it's weird that he was like 190 instead of 200,
but he did seem a little more spry.
Like maybe you're right.
Those 10 years, we're a real motherfucker.
They were rough.
Yeah.
Rough.
Right? I get it Wow
Yeah Jon Hamm
He can do everything
Is there anything he can't do?
Comedy, drama
Chewbacca noise
It also kind of sounds
It's all just lips and assholes everyone
Chewbacca also sounds like
A transport vehicle in the Jetsons
Do it again
Oh you got both sound like a transport vehicle in the Jetsons. Do it again.
Oh you got both. Apparently they're two different sounds, Doug. Wish I could describe how happy Doug looks right now.
Oh my god. Tag in theaters on June 15th. I don't want to kill the plug. Go ahead, say it again, sorry.
Fuller House on Netflix for the rest of our goddamn lives.
No.
Everywhere you look.
There's a hand to hold on to.
That sounds like stranger danger.
Can you do Chewbacca on the transporter vehicle?
No.
It's two very different parts of the mouth.
And Jane vacuuming.
No. I got nothing. Ah, shit. different parts of the mouth. And Jane vacuuming, and they would all be...
No, I got nothing.
Oh, shit.
All while drinking this Gatorade.
Come on.
Do it.
It's magic.
And everyone right now is trying to do that.
I will also be in theaters June 15th,
because I want to see Tag.
The original title was Tag, A Star Wars Story,
but that got hung up
and legal for
who knows why
that sounds legit
segue coming
Jon Hamm
what was the last
motion picture you saw
I know you made
in the movie theater
or in the
in any
on the plane
any format
I think it was the
I caught up with the Florida actually no I'll take it back I'll bring it on the plane? Any format. I think it was the I caught up with the Florida.
Actually, no, I'll take it back.
I'll bring it on the Star Wars.
The Florida what?
We're all dying to know.
The Florida Panthers documentary?
The 2010 NHL Stanley Cup Finals?
He's fast, you guys.
He's fast.
Laugh into your mic, Jeff.
You're the only one laughing.
I went back because I was on a long flight
and I was like
I wonder if the original
three Star Wars
were as bad as
not the original three
the prequels
were as bad as I remember them
and so I watched
them back to back to back
and it turns out
they are that bad
and the additional thing is
finally it's been decided
but the first one were breakout digital movies.
Oh, by my digital, we're digital.
They do not hold up.
Three F-stops is what you lost in that.
They do not hold up.
It was an interesting...
I only saw the first one in the cinemas,
and then I saw the other ones on cable.
Is that when Ewan McGregor falls off the thing
and slides down the thing?
You're still waiting for something to happen.
Yes.
Jeff still hasn't got around to seeing him, so tiptoe on those spoilers.
Spoiler alert, a hot dog's going to be in the Gatorade.
So those are the last movies I saw.
Sorry.
All right.
There was a Limp Bizkit album title, something about hot dogs.
Hot dogs and Gatorade?
Hot dogs and hot dogade? Hot dogs and...
Hot dogs and...
Hot dog water?
Hot dog water and...
Chocolate starfish.
Chocolate starfish and...
Hot dog water.
And hot dog water?
Hot dog flavor.
Hot dog...
Fuck Fred Dunst.
Kirsten's brother?
No, he's a good one.
No, Fred Durst.
Kirsten's brother.
Doug, you're...
You're thinking of...
No, Robert Durst's nephew.
Robert Durst's nephew, Fred. You're thinking of... No, Robert Durst's nephew. Robert Durst's nephew, Fred.
What's he been up to?
Robert Durst can command your attention.
You can't take your eyes off of him.
Mostly because of those rancid burps that are coming your way.
Oh, my God.
He's got black marble eyes.
That guy scared the shit out of me.
Rancid burps.
I got to write that down.
Is it too late to say fur dunced?
Because they're always getting the
R wrong in Kirsten dunced.
Fur dunced. It's too late, right?
It's durst.
I took my pen out, but I
forgot what I was going to write down.
Rancid burps. Oh, yeah. Rancid write down. Rancid burps. Oh, yeah.
Rancid burps.
Rancid burps.
Marble eyes.
Don't you find comedy, sometimes the shit you write down is like, what the fuck was that?
Yeah.
Like, the next day.
And you still try to make it work.
I know.
So it was hard.
Is it hard to sleep at night, John?
I don't know how we do it.
Bob, I always get it to work.
I don't.
None of it works.
I don't even do well on the album.
Oh, it's a bad set?
It's like 50-50.
People aren't on board the whole way.
Why not try again
with another crowd?
I mean,
I had to piece it together
over a whole weekend
to make it sound like this.
To get it to 50-50?
Yikes.
Bob Saget.
It's a rough name.
I grew up with it.
I'm fine with it. It doesn't rhyme name. I grew up with it.
I'm fine with it. It doesn't rhyme with anything bad. Nothing bad.
I changed it. It used to be
Durst.
I was Robert Durst.
And I changed it because of that whole thing.
Yeah, you don't want to be called the worst.
Not worse. Too easy.
Not worse than your Gatorade.
Have you seen a movie
yes
oh I know you're
about to make
a documentary
yes
can you talk on that
for a second
yeah
I'm
I actually just
shot a film
and finished it
called Benjamin
that's coming out
in the fall
that's the reboot in the fall.
That's a reboot of the rap movie Ben? No.
This is the Life and Times of H. John Benjamin?
It's a movie about a single
hundred dollar bill.
As it makes its way around
Los Angeles. After he gets off the bus at the end
of The Graduate. No, it's about a kid
that we think is on crystal meth, but you find
out the people are...
Wait, you're telling us the end? I'm telling you the one liner on it no okay oh no spoiler for me but the movie i'm
working on right now is a documentary about martin maul because i love martin maul martin maul
everybody and that guy's amazing and uh it's just about his he's an artist is really what he is so
he did all of his comedy his paintings are awesome his paintings are insane just google
martin maul paintings and besides all the crazy amazing comedy he did he's one of the first He did all of his comedy. His paintings are awesome. His paintings are insane. Just Google Martin Moe paintings.
And besides all the crazy, amazing comedy he did,
he's one of the first comedians I ever saw when I was like 17.
And I just love him.
So we're interviewing tons of people.
Eric Idle, Steve Martin, a lot of his contemporary people.
And so that we're just working on until we get it done.
I don't know when it'll be.
Fernwood Tonight was one of the best things ever. Him and
Fred Wheeler. Some of it will not fly
today. I look for it
constantly. It's not anywhere.
Fernwood Tonight.
YouTubeable, but it is not.
Norman Lear produced it. Check out YouTube,
Jeff. It doesn't have
clips. It doesn't have
whole episodes. You should check YouTube.edu, though,
because this is where you'll get more of the good stuff.
He's correct.
You can get full episodes on there.
I found them.
I sat behind Martin Mull at the movies once
when I was out here visiting,
and I saw Wayne's World at the Third Street Promenade,
and Martin Mull sat in front of me,
and he didn't take his hat off the whole time.
Not even during the anthem?
Not even.
Took a knee. took a knee took a knee
he took a knee
weirdly he took it off
all through
Bohemian Rhapsody
well that trailer
looks really good
that Bohemian Rhapsody movie
with
Mr. Robot
who is
Freddie Mercury
in that
Mr. Robot
Fred Dunst.
Have you seen a movie lately?
I have.
I've been catching up on television stuff.
I'm late to the program,
but I really did enjoy
Black Panther.
So good.
Really good.
That's the only people that enjoyed it apparently
because it made a billion dollars or something
but I just
did quite well
number one movie of the year so far
but these other ones man there's some big ones
tag in theaters June 15th
tag looks literally
I'll be there
tag Jeff will see it
going on the one sheet going on the one sheet fun as hell. Tag. Jeff will see it.
Going on the one sheet.
Going on the one sheet.
John's publicist is so happy right now.
That doesn't have it.
And Tag doesn't have a scene where there's a woman on a trapeze urinating on everybody.
It's not one of those.
No.
I mean, we shot one.
So you're saying there's a chance on the Blu-ray.
Yeah, you might get it in a
deleted scene.
This is a part
of the show, Bob, where I tell my friend
Bert Kreischer to turn it off because he doesn't
like trivia. And then
I say, let the games
begin!
We got lots
of people with posters, name tags,
call them what you will.
A lot of them are movie puns using their own name.
A lot of them have faces of me and other guests that are frequently on the show.
So we're getting more and more complicated and impressive.
Fucking awesome.
So, fellas, get up and go pick whoever you want to play for.
Just grab it from them and bring it back to your seat.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We're going to go to a brief message.
All right, we're back. And that was a very pain-free process, picking those, I feel.
I pick for Jeff now because he just doesn't want to do it.
He feels bad when he has to pick one.
And we went with Christine with a chance
of meatballs.
It's great. I would have picked a
much shittier one.
What an accident. I think we did a good job together.
I appreciate it. This is fantastic.
I love it. Congratulations, Christine.
I hope you get meatballs.
This is going to be a tough competition
tonight, though. I'm not going to call the winner
just yet.
Right, Bob?
Right.
Yeah.
What do you got there, John?
I picked it because it's one of my favorite movies ever,
but the right Steve based on the right stuff.
The right stuff, yeah.
And I think it's all him in the spacesuits.
Maybe there's just a bunch of Steves in there.
It's all about Steves.
Yeah, they're all Steves.
It's got to be all Steves. Right. It's all about Steves. Yeah, they're all Steves.
Gotta be all Steves.
Right?
Yeah, I don't see Steve Jobs.
That would be a logical one to put in there.
Looks like the usual Steve Specs.
What do you got, Bob?
I have one that looks just like your... There's something about it I like.
I know, there's...
Don't take it off.
You're ruining a beautiful poster.
Doug stole the weed that was in a vial
that was just under
Thor who had a haircut
for the new Avengers
Jason Finity War
and there's also
a Starburst tape to it
which is pink
anybody want that?
it's a whole
just all pink ones?
no is that what they do now? no I think this is the new one one flavor? I don't eat pink. Anybody want that? It's a whole, just all pink ones? No.
Is that what they do now?
No, I think this is
the new one.
One flavor?
I don't eat,
it's fave reds.
Oh yeah,
favorites.
So it's all reds.
About time,
Starburst.
No one was down
with the oranges.
I'll just put them
in the prize bag.
None of you guys
want these.
You just got a new
sponsor.
Pot.
And Starburst.
Oh, this is called Favreds, so it's all just the ones
that are reddish.
You're going to have fun listening to this
back.
It says it right there, Favreds.
Oh yeah, I'm aware.
Thank you.
Is this show always like Lenny of Mice and Men moderated?
Just shut up, Bob, and tell me about the rabbits.
Can I pet it, George?
Don't touch the children.
Uh-oh.
Wow, so this movie looks...
Everything.
Ron Perlman's got a big head.
That's not Ron Perlman That's Josh Brolin
It is?
What did he go through?
Josh Groban is in the Avengers?
It's not Josh Groban
Josh Groban sings
Oh Holy Night
And it saves the universe
Right after the snap
And it brings everybody back
Avengers Infinity War 2
Groban sings
I thought Ron Perlman I was excited for Ron Perlman Until I saw this poster Right after the snap. And it brings everybody back. Avengers Infinity War 2, Groban sings.
Boy, I thought Ron Perlman,
I was excited for Ron Perlman until I saw this poster.
I know, Ron Perlman seems like a very, very cool dude.
Yeah, he was Hellboy for Christ's sake.
Whoops, got the room. For Christ's sake.
You know, why'd you have to point that out?
I was trying to let that skittle by.
He was Hellboy for Christ's sake. He was Hellboy for Christ's sake.
He was Hellboy for Christ's sake.
They're both from the same book.
It says favorites
right there.
Alright, we got some games to
play and a show to
apologize to that's going on after us
but things are running
late here tonight at UCB,
and that's how we like it.
What do you say we do some lines with Mark?
If I can do this shit!
Hey there, Mark Wahlberg.
I ate in a...
I ate in a Wahlburgers
in the Toronto airport.
You're welcome.
How you guys doing?
You doing good?
Fucking A-Wahl, what's up, LA?
What's up, dog? What's up, dog?
How you doing?
How many Wahlburgers
do you have now?
We got 22.
Yeah?
Fucking A, dude.
What's your favorite one?
Next week,
that fucking lava would stop.
What?
Oh, you wanted to open
one in Hawaii?
Fucking A, dude.
Put one on the fucking island.
Let's do it.
Write this shit off.
What's up, BS?
Why do you...
Fuck, dude. Good to fucking see you, man. I've seen you at fucking Entourage days. Yeah's do it. Write this shit off. What's up, BS? Why do you... Fuck, Joe.
Good to fucking see you, man.
I didn't see you
in your fucking entourage days.
Yeah, yeah.
You crushed that shit, bro.
Well, thanks for saying that.
You were always very nice to me.
Dude, you were like the family dog.
We open up the door,
you come running in
and fucking love it.
Thank you.
And it was nice of you
to wear that codpiece
from Boogie Nights for me.
Fucking A.
I have to,
otherwise it's too big.
Wait, you wear that to make it smaller?
I got to.
It intimidates people.
When they shot the movie, they're like,
we're going to have to digitize this shit.
I'm like, if you have to make it smaller, go ahead.
What's with the facial hair?
You got a role coming up where you need to be bearded?
Yes, sir.
Lone Survivor 2.
How would that work?
You have a new
group of guys who all die? Dude, I go back
and spend an hour and a half looking for one other dude
that thought he was the lone survivor and I kill that
motherfucker. Hey, that sounds
terrible. It's fucking awesome, dude.
Oh, man. So, like, Ben
Foster holed up under a bush for
two years until you show up? Yep. I'm fucking
getting him. It's just me! Dude,
the fucking... that fucking kid
from Varsity Blues or whatever the fuck it was?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was Taylor Clips?
Sure, yeah, yeah. What the fuck is he? John Carter.
I fucking killed that dude.
John Carter of Mars?
Yes, dude. What's up, J.H.?
How are you?
I'm good, dude. It's good to see you. It's a fucking good idea
you didn't add me to this fucking show, bro. I'd be too much
dude on this fucking table.
dude. It's fucking good idea you didn't add me to this fucking show, bro. It'd be too much, dude,
on this fucking table.
What's happening now?
Sometimes I gotta lower my fucking aura, dude.
I gotta lower my aura.
Are you gonna do another Transformers movie?
Fuck yeah. Because I hate those.
We're doing another one. Alright.
Transformers. One more.
We might do two more after that.
Hey Mark, I've seen the
What's Mile 22 about?
Fucking Mile 22, dude.
It's like one scene from Fast and the Furious
if those movies were good.
I thought Mile 22 was just
all of your Wahlburgers lined up
in a row.
It's also the amount
of running I do
before breakfast.
Why do you say it
backwards like that?
What's that?
Mile 22?
Yeah, is that how you run?
Mile 22.
Because when I get done
I yell it out
to everybody
who will fucking listen.
Donnie's in the pace car
and he writes it down.
Mark, what does this say right here?
Favorites.
Says some Cincinnati shit.
Here's how this game works.
Mark is going to say a line from a motion picture.
Okay, Mark is going to perform a line from a motion picture,
and you guys all just get a guess
As often as you like
Please no audience guesses
We've got a very excitable crowd tonight
That gets this very special experience
Thanks for coming back, dude
It's been fucking good, man
I've been busy as fuck right now
Do you think I asked you how you've been?
I think I said thanks for coming back It's've been busy as fuck right now. What? Do you think I asked you how you've been? Yeah. I think I said thanks for coming back.
It's been fucking busy as fuck.
Oh, okay. I've been so busy
lately.
We had to have a housewarming
party for Donnie. It took two weeks.
I found out all it was was an Airbnb.
I'm like, what the fuck, dude?
Do you want to do another take of that one?
Isn't that what it's called? Airbnb, Airbnb?
That's it. I don't know how it's called? Airbnb and B&B?
I don't know how poor people live.
What happens with the extra B?
You fucking tell me, poor people.
What's an Airbnb and B&B?
It's a bring your own bed and breakfast.
Is that what it is?
It's a B-Y-O-B-N-B.
Whatever poor people do to pretend they have a loft in Houston
for the weekend.
Houston! We weekend. Houston.
We all love Houston.
Yeah, I'll be there June 9th.
All right.
So Mark is going to say a line from a motion picture.
And it's not necessarily one of his own.
I think we got through a lot of those.
The classics.
Yes.
So yeah, guess as often as you like guys until somebody gets it and
I don't know what it's gonna be I'm very excited and be and be he says that before
he says the line don't you don't have to guess about that part.
The fighter.
Not to south.
Learn to fight.
Dirty work.
It is fucking dirty work.
Oh, shit, Bob!
Fucking A, GT.
Fuck.
What's up, dude?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Where was that in Dirty World?
Directed by Bob Saget.
I directed that movie.
I have no memory of that.
It was when Norm got thrown through the window.
Jeff knows what it was.
It was when Norm got thrown through the window and then right what it was. It was when Norm got thrown through the window
and then right before they did their first
revenge on the frat guys.
Note to self.
Note to self.
Learn to fight.
I see.
The reason I didn't
understand it goes, learn to
fight. That's how he said it.
Mark is an actor who does it his way. Method thing. Learn to fight. That's how he said it. Mark is an actor who does it his way.
Method thing.
Learn to fight.
How would you say, that's the Saigon
whore that bit my nose off.
That was Chris Farley's line.
How would you say that?
R.I.P.
That? That's the Saigon
I barely bit my nose on
Yeah
All day dude
Yeah
Mark Wahlberg everybody
Rushed that
I'm gonna go pick a fight
Don't start any fights out there
What's up with you motherfucker
You looking at me
It's a nice neighborhood don't do that
Come here you hoodie wearing motherfucker
Hey that's probably my brother man
Hey cool it Mark
That's probably my brother
Your brother's here
Is he the other one in this picture
Yes he's the other one in that picture
He caught up to me height wise What's he up to now here. Yeah. Is he the other one in this picture? Yes, he's the other one in that picture.
He caught up to me height-wise.
What's he up to now?
I mean, we can ask him later. He works at a
restaurant.
B&B&B.
He works at an Airbnb&B.
Jeff gets to go first
in our next game.
It's called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
I'm going to say a tagline from a motion picture to Jeff Tate.
He's going to guess what movie it's from.
If he gets it wrong, it moves to John and then to you, Bob.
You got it?
I understand.
What movie, Jeff Tate,
has the tagline
Dream Large, Live Larger?
Dream Large,
Live Larger.
I remember
Peter Herman's movie,
The Big Adventure.
Peewee's Big Adventure
was the tagline was
Dream Marge, Live Marge.
I fucked that up.
Dream Marge, Live Marge.
Favorites. Alright, so... I fucked that up. Dream large, live large, favorites.
All right, so.
What do you think it is, Jeff?
I think it's larger than life.
Oh, the Bill Murray elephant movie that you did in Garofalo.
Yes.
Nope.
Jon Hamm, what do you think?
Dream large. There's an extra in that movie.
Live larger.
And larger than life?
No, the other one.
The other elephant movie.
Nickel and Dime with Matthew McConaughey.
I take it all back.
There were like four elephant movies that year.
Operation Dumbo Drop?
Operation Dumbo Drop.
Larger Than Life.
The Elephant Man?
And The Elephant Man.
There's a real run of elephant movies there for a while.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
There's an elephant. And that one. for a while. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
There's an elephant.
And that one.
I mean, there's not that many. All right, we're gunga done.
What's your guess?
Dream large, live larger?
Dream large, live larger.
Dream large?
Live larger.
I feel like it's some movie about somebody who changes size.
But it's not Ant-Man.
So I don't care.
Honey, I shrunk the kids.
No, it's not that.
All right.
Not a terrible guess.
Dude, what if it's that Florida Panthers DVD you were watching?
That was their tagline.
Bob Sagat, I love your restaurant guides.
Yeah.
I met him in an elevator in New York,
and I said, you know, we could be related somehow.
And he said, we're not.
Why, because he's into spelling?
He was like the community chess guy in Monopoly.
He was just totally an asshole.
Why would that guy be...
Yeah, exactly.
Jeff and I are both angry about that.
Okay.
Say the title and say it.
Live large.
I mean, dream large.
Doesn't matter.
Dream large, dream large. It doesn't matter. Dream large,
live larger.
My first thought is not a movie.
It's my 600-pound life.
I guess I would
say, I got no guess, but I'll
say The Klumps.
Full title, Nutty Professor 2, The Klumps?
Yeah.
No.
It's from a movie we were talking about just earlier
that you appear in called Entourage.
Oh, yeah.
Why is this all directed at me?
Is this some fucking...
I didn't know what Mark was going to do.
He could have done a line from the town
practical joke
alright
that was in that movie though you're right
you're right
there you go
I researched this stuff thoroughly
just ask Anna Faris
Jeff
here's the next one
Jeff here's the next one
for some reason when you guys look at me
it's worse
there's two
there's two different taglines for this movie
I'm going to tell you both of them
it's not one long tagline
it has the word and in the middle
this time the butler did do it.
And.
That'll be the weirdest tagline.
It's a killer.
This time, the butler did do it.
And it's a killer.
Is it clue?
I will give you a thousand dollars if you
say the right answer is it no clue is incorrect John no I said is that a clue
the movie clue is who done it we done it John what are those taglines starring Martin
Hall
this time the
butler did do it
yeah
farted
farted the movie
it's a movie called
farted
it's a killer
would work for that
as well I guess
it would
that was the second
part it's a killer
yeah it's a killer.
Definitely a fart.
Definitely.
Yeah.
These are terrible taglines.
I think I saw this movie and I don't even know what.
I guess I understand
the second one.
I got nothing.
All right.
Heart condition.
Heart condition.
Jeff.
I don't know.
I told you to be cool
in front of me.
I tried.
I made it like an hour.
Other panelists.
What do you think, Bob?
Do you have any idea what that is?
Well, just randomly thinking of that kind of thing.
Murder on the Orient Express?
No.
No butlers?
These are the...
The Jerry Butler movie?
These are the taglines, John, for a movie called Tag.
The Assassination
Game.
Different movie you guys.
You were really smart.
His movie is just Tag and there's an
older movie with Robert Carradine, Linda
Hamilton and Frasier Smith called
Tag the Assassination Game. And Frasier
Smith? Frasier Smith. You see him
all the time at the comedy store, right?
I just cannot believe
that you do all this
research.
I am so impressed.
You know, the
internet really, yeah,
it really makes it
easy.
All right, one last
one.
We've got one that
Bob is in.
We've got one that's
a cheat on John's
new film tag.
So what do you
think is going to
happen now?
Jeff?
I don't know.
If there's a movie called Queensryche,
it's not what he knows,
it's what he understands.
Come on. Oh, what? Do you know it yes you know it yes it's not what he knows it's what he understands and it's me it's something about me i didn't say that i just said the other two were about
these guys they have a lot more film credits so maybe might have gone back to one of their wills. All right, if you could describe me in one word, what would it be?
Is it also the name of a movie?
It's not in this title.
You look just like the Osterman weekend.
The Poseidon Adventure.
Fuck.
I don't know, man.
I feel terrible.
It's cool.
You don't have to know it.
Is it, what was it again?
They didn't know the ones that were based for them.
I mean, and that was only in one movie.
Is it that one?
No.
Because I'm not aware of that movie.
Yeah, right?
You should have waited to give him that research compliment.
Is it the Osterman weekend?
What is it?
I can't even remember what the tagline is.
It's not what he knows.
The tagline is...
Is it the man who knew too little?
No.
It's not what he knows. It's what he... Is it the man who knew too little? No. It's not what he knows.
It's what he understands.
Jon Hamm?
Is it Little Man Tate?
That is correct.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jon wins that game.
But we had a tiebreaker, Bob,
and I'll just run it by you
and see if you know it.
The tiebreaker is
they put the F-U back in fun.
The tiebreaker is they put the F-U back in fun.
It's not an Olsen twins movie, right?
They put the F-U back in fun.
Yeah, I wrote this down before I came down here.
I didn't know what Mark Wahlberg was going to do.
Is there a Piven involved in this? He's a loose cannon.
No, it's not the goods,
whatever that movie was called.
Right.
They put the F...
PCU.
PFU.
P.F. Chang.
F.U. back in fun.
Listen, I'm just going to...
I don't want to torch you anymore.
Fifty Shades of Grey?
No, Dirty Work.
Dirty Work. Dirty Work. Dirty Work. Listen, this isn just going to... I don't want to torch you anymore. Fifty Shades of Grey? No, Dirty Work. Dirty Work.
Dirty Work.
Dirty Work.
Listen, this isn't to torch, but I...
Doug, I have a question.
We might be making a sequel, so maybe I should read up on it.
Bob, I have a question regarding Dirty Work.
Did you...
When you were shooting Dirty Work, and you made the...
Oh, shit, we're out of time.
Our next game...
and you made oh shit we're out of time
our next game
and you
and you spoofed
that third eye blind video
did you think
I bet this song
is going to be around forever
or do you
no I thought it was appropriate
it was a hit
it was like a
it was about to be
like a number one hit
so
I love it
I think Dirty Work is
semi-charmed kind of life
is what it is
yeah
but I also got Green Day
to give me some music
and stuff like that
That song's about
heroin addiction, isn't it?
That's Semi-Trump
Crystal Meth
Oh
Right?
But it's real fun
It's a real fun, upbeat
summertime song
about Crystal Meth
I barely know anything
about anything I've ever done
Clearly
Is there a lot of footage
of Don Rickles
being too racist
for the movie?
Like at the end? There's a lot of footage of Don Rickles being too racist for the movie? Like at the end?
There's a lot of footage of Don Rickles, because I actually ran two cameras.
I shot a week's worth of 35mm film on letting Don Rickles just ad-lib and insult Artie Lang and Noah.
Oh, man.
And I got in trouble, because they said, you used the budget for the week of film.
I said, there's no other way to shoot the guy. You can't just
use him scripted. So he was
pretty priceless. So do you have
that footage? I don't personally
have it.
Have you seen any
of the dirty Mr. Potato Head
outtakes?
Let's play our final game of the evening.
It's called Last Man Stanton.
You're going to love this, Bob,
because it's probably not going to be about you.
I love that, but I can't believe this is ending so quick.
This is really fun.
It goes by fast.
It's really fun.
Yeah, it's the rocket train of podcasts.
Listen to any other podcast.
It's boring as fuck.
This one zips along.
I don't talk enough shit about other podcasts.
I really enjoy it.
Okay, so Last Man Standing,
basically how this works is
I'm going to get a pre-selected audience member
to tell me the name of a well-known actor or actress, and then the three of you,
starting with John, who won that last game, and then we'll go to Jeff and then to you, Bob,
so you really get the swing of it by the time it gets to you.
Thank you.
And just take turns naming movies that that person was in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But if you want to, one time, you can go to your lifeline,
which is the person whose name tag you chose.
You can ask them once for help.
All right?
Yeah.
There's a person in the audience that somehow managed to get the Twitter name
Scambi.
S-C-A-M-B-I.
That's not it. It's me.
It's not Scambi?
It's Scambul with an L.
Scambul
with an L.
I'm glad we cleared that up.
Because that other name
was ridiculous.
Scambi? What the fuck is that?
Scambi? Bad shrimp scambi.
But Scambul? You kidding me? I love thatambi? Bad shrimp scambi. Yeah, but Scamble? You kidding me?
I love that show. I'm sad it went off the air.
I love Kerry Washington and Scamble.
All right, so do you have a suggestion for us?
Yes.
Thank you.
Moving on. Scamble, what do you think?
Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider
That's an interesting one
Let's see if another audience member
can help us out
I'm going to write down Schneids
because he deserves our respect
but where is O.K.'s
Shut up, Jeff Where is O.K.'s... Does he?
Shut up, Jeff.
Where is O.K.'s happy hour?
Right here.
Hey, buddy.
Hi.
Why are you called O.K.'s happy hour?
It's a show I co-host.
For the listeners,
his answer was actually pretty awesome.
It's a show.
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah, it's a drunk cooking show on YouTube.
Drunk cooking show on YouTube.
Yeah.
I like two of those things.
Tubes.
Tubes and you.
Oh.
All right, let me give you
one more plug.
Let me give you one more plug for your podcast.
The Scamble Hour.
And what's your suggestion for a name today?
Denzel Washington.
Denzel Washington.
Oh, my God.
That's off the charts a great one.
Let's just forget that that whole scramble never happened.
let's just forget that whole scramble never happened
but you can
let's do Rob Schneider and Denzel Washington
so you can pick from either of their
filmographies
films they were in, films they directed
I don't know if Rob Schneider's directed anything
I understand, I'm not just blankly staring
at you
I just like can't wait for somebody
to have a nightlight of that face.
I hope they sit on it.
In their home.
I want to cauterize their butt.
It's made of glass.
That is very dangerous.
Okay.
Don't sit on my face, then.
John gets to go first.
The films of Rob Snyider and Denzel Washington.
Go.
And it's or, not and.
What?
Because I don't know if I can get with the one that they starred in.
He doesn't know the difference between or and and.
I'll go Roman J. Israel Esquire.
Oh, I would have saved that one.
It just came out.
Okay. of your mouth
roman j i'm not even gonna write the whole thing down we know we know who you're talking about
we don't need all that that's what i was gonna say jf oh you're out of luck no i mean
denzel has been in a bunch of movies. Right? Yep. I can't wait for EQ2. Oh, me neither.
That's awesome.
I didn't know where you had it first.
That's what they're calling it.
What?
Unstoppable.
Oh, yeah.
We already mentioned it earlier.
That's great.
People on trains.
I like to play along on this one, Bob.
And speaking of trains, Training Day.
Yeah.
That deserved more.
But you know what? LA shuts down at 1030.
That was Ethan Hawke as well, correct?
Yeah. Academy Award nominated.
There you go. Ethan Hawke. We asked him to do
this show. He said no.
Maybe after
here's this one.
But you asked him in such a normal way.
You should have asked him, what if you did this podcast once a year on this day every year for the next 15 years?
And then we release them all on that day.
I bet he'd agree to that.
Which of his movies is that a reference to?
Boyhood.
Wow, you lost confidence in that.
You should tell him that his friend is going to kill himself.
That's from Dead Poets Society.
Or just get Denzel Washington to do the podcast
and he can sit right next to him.
Oh, my God.
I bet Ethan Hawke would do it if Denzel did it.
I bet they'd do it together.
Yeah, you just got to trick one of them.
Then you're golden.
I think your only chance here is a hostage.
Oh, real.
Bob's just excited to be here
because I told him there would be ham.
I didn't realize he meant you were going to be here.
Yeah, right?
I don't get ham a lot. You're excited for be here. Yeah, right? You're just
excited for the spread.
Yeah.
All right.
Whose turn is it?
What's happening?
Oh, I said training day.
It's your turn, Bob.
And it's either or.
Either Rob Schneider,
the great Rob Schneider,
or Denzel Washington.
I'll say a title
that is very close
because I've lived it
so many times.
Flight.
Oh, yeah.
You were a drunk pilot at one point?
Yeah, and the only way to get out was a lot of cocaine.
He made a few pilots.
But I landed safely every time.
What's the drunkest you ever did
in America's top funniest home videos?
I'm always sober one night.
When you see people get hit in the nuts
and you're talking to America at 7 o'clock at night and you're 30 years old.
Oh, that show was live?
You're sober.
It was shot live, but it was not live.
We did one live.
Oh, we did the $100,000 thing live.
Oh, that thing.
I don't remember it.
I've tried to block it out by getting drunk since.
Good deal.
Yeah.
Back to John. Deuce Bigelow.
Male Gigolo.
Oh.
Got that whole title out there.
I like it. Jeff?
John
Q.
He brought
up hostage situations. I remember.
Oh, smart. Somebody brought up Rob Schneider
so I'm going to say the hot girl
oh I fucked it up hot chick
I'm out
Bob
a movie I really loved
Glory
oh yeah he won an Oscar for that I believe he did indeed really loved that. Glory. Oh, yeah.
He won an Oscar for that, I believe.
He did indeed.
John.
Fences.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
The Donald Trump story.
Walls. Walls.
Close enough.
Whatever it is, it's not getting made.
There it is.
You do good when you're out.
Oh, man. So high.
Richard's off.
Fallen. Oh, yeah. With John Good. Jeff. Fallen.
Oh, yeah.
With John Goodman speaking of Fallen.
That's about my testicles.
Good night, everybody.
Bobby.
Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo.
Oh, my goodness.
Is there a two in there?
I guess Deuce covers that.
He should have called it deuce deuce.
All right, John.
The Ridiculous Six.
Oh yeah.
Oh man.
Those guys are crazy.
They're ridiculous.
Yeah.
And there are six of them. Yeah, it was going to be the Ludicrous Six,
but that guy sued.
Ludicrous?
I couldn't think of his real name.
Chris?
Something Chris Bridges?
He sued.
Jeff?
Two guns.
Oh, man.
I wonder if Mark Wahlberg's still around.
Two guns is dope, Mark.
He's gone.
This one I'll cheer everybody up.
Philadelphia.
Yes.
Yes.
It's so funny.
John.
Brother.
I'm just going to have to start naming Adam Sandler movies now.
Blended.
Pretty good shot.
I'll say that he was in Blended.
I'm sure he was.
The corrections department can deal with it later.
Jeff.
Are you guys really not going to say Denzel movies?
are you guys really not going to say Denzel movies?
we haven't said the equalizer yet
no
I said EQ
the equalizer
it's so funny seeing him in that bunny costume
Bob remember the equalizer rabbit? Bob? Hmm.
Remember the equalizer rabbit?
No.
No.
ER wasn't a movie, right?
Not yet.
I think you mean staying elsewhere, and the answer is still no gives the idea how up i can be
come on denzel yeah yeah don't be racist man how dare you
um can i check my phone real quick?
I'm expecting a call.
Man, I feel like you've done this before.
Yeah.
Do you want to go to your lifeline?
Say what?
Your lifeline?
Yeah, lifeline.
Yeah.
So that would be this.
Infinity Wars.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, dude.
I'm actually wearing them right now. So that would be this. Infinity Wars. Yeah. Right here. Yeah. Hey, dude. Pelican brief.
Ooh.
I'm actually wearing them right now.
I should have thought of that.
Pelican brief.
The pelican brief.
Say it.
Thank you.
Say it, Bob.
Pelican brief.
The.
The pelican brief.
Yes.
It needs a the?
Oh, yeah, it does.
Okay.
The pelican brief.
Very strict around here
I got thrown out
for saying
something that wasn't
the word chick
hot girl
hot girl
and I'm out
so you gotta say
that's why we have rules
yeah yeah yeah
thank you for giving me that
that's why rules exist
John
uh
Billy Madison
oh
mmm
we got a confirmation in there Jeff um Billy Madison Jeff
The Magnificent Seven
I wish I would have said that after he said Ridiculous Six
because then somebody would have said Hateful Eight and been wrong
yeah don't say it Bob it's not right
it's not right. It's not right, Bob.
I want to say grown-ups.
Yeah, why not? Say it.
Alright, grown-ups.
No, I didn't say it.
I said I want to say it.
I think he is in it, actually.
He is in the first one. It's the second one he's not in. I want to say it. I think he is in it, actually. He is in the first one.
It's the second one he's not in.
He is.
I want to say grown-ups, too.
Don't.
Don't say it.
You've learned my secrets.
Oh, God.
There's one that I can't think of the name of.
Denzel played the bad guy, and Russell Crowe was in it.
Oh, right.
Oh, man.
I feel like
we did this one second ago.
It made me think
of three titles at once.
Denzel's got a lot of
movies like that where you're like,
okay, if you say so, Denzel.
Damn it. Alright, I'm going Lifeline.
Where's my guy? Where you got Lifeline?
Home Alone 2, Lost in New York.
I'm going to go with Home Alone 2, Lost in New York.
Okay.
Yeah, Rob Schneider's...
Denzel's, one of Denzel's best.
Rob Schneider's like a bellman in the hotel
with Tim Curry
and the pigeon lady.
Jeff?
Man on Fire.
Oh, yeah.
I like that one.
What do you think, Bob?
Are you out?
I got one that I forgot about.
Okay, perfect.
Courage Under Fire.
Yes.
That was with Melanie Griffith
and Ed Zwicker.
You said it like we've been talking
about other things under fire.
Courage Under Fire.
Why didn't you get it from Fire?
Originally, man discovered or woman discovered fire before movies.
I like that.
I like, let's give women credit for fire.
I mean, that's true.
I think it's possible women created fire.
Yeah.
I mean, it's definitely possible.
Yeah.
Because they're hot.
Yeah.
Bob, they'll take my show away.
They'll take his show he doesn't have yet away from him.
They gave you a show?
Yeah, well, I'm trying to get a show as one of those people who's too fat to leave their house.
I'm pitching it while I can still get around.
I'm like I'm pitching it
while I can still get around
I had to watch that show
with my daughters
that is a painful thing
that
I had to
to quote Doug
John
50 first dates
oh
okay
I got a nod and a yes.
He played like a Mexican dude or something.
I'm going to say...
Or Hawaiian. He was Hawaiian.
Do you have...
I'm going to say...
Apologies to all people of both types.
Apologies to everyone that has ever had anything to do with Rob Schneider.
Virtuosity. Come on. No, with Rob Schneider. Virtuosity.
Come on.
No, he's a fine...
Virtuosity is Denzel and Russell.
Virtuosity.
I was on something like Sim City.
2.0, wasn't it?
Sim City.
That's it.
2.0.
Hackers.
What do you think, Bob?
Is it over for you?
Is this the end of the road?
It's been an incredible journey.
Are you talking career or this game?
Finished.
Hold your head up high.
You finished top three this game.
Out of four.
No, I'm thinking of a Sandler movie.
Just say it.
He's in it.
And it's a tropical.
Kind of like 50 First Dates? Kind of like that. Or Blended. Bl He's in it. And it's a tropical. Kind of like 50 First Dates?
Kind of like that.
Or Blended.
Blended was in Africa.
Is that Drew Barrymore?
She's in a few movies with him, yeah.
Yeah, man.
She was in The Wedding Singer.
I don't think Schneider was in The Wedding Singer.
No, I don't either.
They were taking a break.
Well, I hate dead air, so I probably should fold.
Because I don't want to keep this going too long.
No, but it's been super fun playing with you.
And we'll give you another chance someday.
Well, I can't wait till my movie Tag comes out.
Assassination Game?
This time the butler did do it.
And it's a killer.
It's a killer queen.
I auditioned.
I didn't get it.
Thank you.
So how does this work?
They're still going?
These gentlemen?
Do you have to learn the whole queen catalog for that one scene in Baby Driver?
The whole Queen catalog.
All right.
Sheer heart attack.
Whose turn is it?
Oh, it's on John.
It's on me.
Yeah.
Please don't let Jeff win.
Please don't let Jeff win.
Why?
Okay, let him win.
I'm not going to let him win.
No, don't let me win.
I like the fire in your body. I've got virt to let him win. Don't let me win.
I've got virtuosity, though.
That bums me out.
Oh, we're still talking about virtuosity?
I feel like we're always talking about it.
What's that?
You ever have that feeling you've done this before?
Are you trying to give him an answer?
No Like Groundhog Day?
That's not a movie that either one of those people was in
No
I got nothing
He's trying to get you to say Deja Vu
Oh That is what it's called Yeah I got nothing. He's trying to get you to say deja vu.
Oh.
That is what it's called.
Yeah.
I couldn't think of it.
Do you want to say that, John?
Deja vu. Okay, John says deja vu.
All right.
All right, Jeff, it's your turn.
I'm out.
What?
Liar.
Liar.
I was going to say Crimson Tide.
Oh, that's a good one.
That is so good.
That is a good one.
Thank you.
You didn't say it, though, so you were going to say it.
What did I actually say?
Do you want to give John another clue now to keep him in the game?
No, no, no, no.
John already used his lifeline.
I did use my lifeline.
And Jeff didn't even go to his.
Hasn't even gone to his.
Give us all another clue, Jeff.
Not a clue.
I mean, yeah, a clue.
You can do it!
It's for sure not going to be a Rob Schneider movie.
I don't know anymore.
Water Boy.
Water Boy.
Oh, yeah.
That's where the you can do it started.
Yeah, that's what he was...
All right. Jeff Tate is our winner,
everybody.
I was going to say Malcolm X.
But I didn't know how to make a hit.
Right? Mo' Better Blues.
All right, so Christine, coming at your prizes.
Congratulations.
Oh, you're right there.
The great debaters.
There you go.
Be careful with all that.
It's very valuable.
My lifeline doesn't get... Fragile.
He doesn't get nothing? Oh, he's gonna get something.
Yeah.
I forgot to tell you, what are you doing
for the rest of the night?
My daughters gave me a...
You are going out for drinks
with this guy. No, what are you gonna show me?
I'm gonna show you that my daughters bought me...
From Tiffany's, they bought me this in case
I met a guy around here
or you made lascivious comments like that
and it is from Tiffany's and it's a rape whistle.
So I am able to know if he is
isn't that a great thing to throw in at the end?
Wait, is a rape whistle something
only rapists can hear?
Is this how I find out?
Oh, great.
He's bringing around
all the rapists.
Lock the doors.
I'm scared.
Other people heard it, right?
No one here heard it.
I'm the only one that heard it.
It's from my kids.
You blow into it so that we know you got a kindred spirit in the room.
Me too, buddy.
Me too.
I see you.
Bob, what do you got to plug?
We got to get out of here.
Nothing.
My special Zero to Sixty is now on vinyl as well as on Amazon Prime.
Okay. So you can buy the lotion with two clicks and the special. My special zero to 60 is now on vinyl as well as on Amazon Prime.
So you can buy the lotion with two clicks and the special.
I had a phonograph to your shopping cart and you'll be all set.
I thought vinyl would be cool.
Yeah, no, it is.
I wear it before I go to bed and blow my rape whistle.
I like that person that giggled at that horrible comment I just want to say
what a pleasure it is
to be with you guys
this was really fun
that's very nice of you
nobody invites me
to nothing
and play games
yeah it was fun
would you like to
come back again sometime
I would love it
I actually really
had a good time
thank you
I know when I have fun.
I'll see you in Austin, Texas this Saturday.
John Hamm in Tag, no assassination game.
Not the assassination game.
Thank you, everyone.
June 15th.
Theaters near you.
Let's break some records, you guys.
Or some vinyl.
Jeff Tate.
Hey.
You got your little plugs ready to go?
Yeah, yeah.
I don't have many.
I got this album.
You can listen to it on Spotify.
And all the other spots.
It's called People Are What People Make Them.
And if you type in Jeff Tate, it'll take you to my other
albums and another guy's album.
You'll figure it out.
None of the covers look like
it could be one or the other.
It's definitely me or him.
His are scary.
He sucks.
Nah, he's nice. jeff with a j no he's it's his real name is jeffrey with a j but he shortened it to jeff and spelled it spelled that with a g and it's like
well what the fuck now what do i do because my whole jeffrey is what starts with a g i gotta i
gotta have this you just fucking i got a whole thing like this is a can of worms man this is such a all right
regardless i'm sure he appreciates the plug yeah i'm at uh right i bet i sell them just as many
records as i do me my uh none uh i'll be at go bananas in cincinnati june 28 29 30 and july the
first and then uh that's it book me all right my schedule just got freed up so let's uh let's do
this right i'll see you uh i'll see you out on the road this summer we'll do some shows in uh
various towns yes yeah guess good luck everybody bob i saw dirty work five times in the theater i
hope you don't think I was roasting you.
No, that's really a big compliment.
I think that movie is hilarious. Yeah, we got screwed because it said on the poster,
Coming Soon.
I mean, it's no screwed.
Screwed's not very good.
That's when you know you're in the shitter.
It came out a billion years ago
when Michael Jordan was playing his last two games in Chicago.
So it was made for 15-year-old boys.
So nobody saw the... I was in my
early 30s, but boy, I loved it.
I really enjoyed it.
Thank you. And I hope that
Gatorade and hot dog business is great for you.
Oh, yeah. I'm
spending all my money on it.
What do you do on June 26, Bob?
I think it's open.
I think you should be on every show
at UCB from now on
Because that's the next one we're going to do here
Just say yes and then don't show up
I just need to fill the place
Oh I'll commit to it and then something will come up
Like a death of an ant
Even though they're all dead
Now here's how this works here at the end Bob
I'm going to say as a consolation prize
That people wrote on the back of their name tags,
I'll call anyone they want a shithead
and that's what they're going to win
when I close out the show.
Yeah, I got it.
I like this.
Yeah, it's fun.
It's really nice.
They make me say things I might not normally say.
I can't wait to be here June 35th.
One more time for Jeff Tate, Jon Hamm,
and Bob Saget.
So good.
So much fun.
It's a killer.
Thank you guys
for being here.
And as always,
MoviePass,
for not allowing you
to buy tickets in advance,
is a shithead.
Yeah, fuck them.
And this one, I agree, man.
This is getting really out of control.
The sun is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him foggy.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies