Doug Loves Movies - (Rebroadcast) Gilbert Gottfried, Neil Berkeley, Joe DeRosa and Samm Levine guest
Episode Date: April 13, 2022With tragic passing of the fearless Gilbert Gottfried, we revisit his appearance on Doug Loves Movies from 2017. Live from the Millennium Biltmore Hotel in Los Angeles, Doug welcomes Gilbert ...Gottfried, Neil Berkeley, Joe DeRosa and Samm Levine to a special LA Podfest edition of the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everybody. To commemorate the passing of the legendary comic Gilbert Gottfried,
we dug up this one episode of Doug Loves Movies that he did four years ago.
I recall that he wasn't particularly good at the games, but always had a joke ready to go
and usually
an offensive one.
Rest in peace,
Gilbert Gottfried.
Make God uncomfortable.
Doug hates
candy wrappers,
squeaky babies,
sticky seeds
with 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
We had one person jump the gun. A referee threw a flag on that one. Coming to you once again
from LA Podfest. You guys are doing it. Day three, right? And everybody's having a nice time.
Day three, right?
And everybody's having a nice time?
Very cool.
And I know that there's one more,
there's a couple more shows tonight.
There's one where you can talk with Graham Elwood and the other people that started the festival
about podcasting.
And Todd Glass' show,
which I hear has like a full band.
So I'm not going to tell you which one to go to, but I am going to tell you that I hope to get you out of here
so that you can leave here and get over to that show in time.
Is that other place they do shows in far away?
It's right there?
Okay.
Do you think people are lined up for those shows and just
skipping this one altogether? I don't think. I think you're right. I don't think they're doing
that. And I'm very appreciative. Let's see here. I said where we're at. We're at the Biltmore Hotel and it's Sunday October 8th 2017 what okay that's weird
thank you for welcoming me does anyone else feel like they need to welcome me
before I proceed are you mrs. Biltmore why when I said we're at the Biltmore,
you're like, you're welcome.
Thanks for coming to my hotel.
Did you bring a name tag?
Then you're not welcome.
Let's see those name tags, you guys.
I saw that one on the internet today.
The baseballs themed. I saw that one on the internet today. The Spaceballs themed.
I like it.
Oh, there's a very big one over there.
What does that say on it?
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?
Which one are you?
Your name is Sid?
Awesome.
I guess.
The lighting isn't great for me to see what all these say,
but at least we got a lot of them.
So thank you for... I know a lot of you traveled to be here,
so the fact that you managed to pack these things
and bring them here and get through TSA,
I applaud you, and thank you for doing that.
You can put them down now.
And, yeah, I was going to say festival badges don't count, you and thank you for doing that. You can put them down now. And
yeah, I was
going to say festival badges don't count, but I think
you guys know that. And do they even
have badges at this festival? Oh,
wristbands. Yeah, so this isn't a
wristband thing. This is a name tag thing.
Doug plugs. Doug Loves Movies
is back in Hollywood
tomorrow night at Meltdown
Comics. And then this Thursday
we're going to be in Kansas City, Missouri
all of my
dates and deets and links are at
douglosmovies.com
that's douglosmovies.com
yeah
it's so funny how you did the first part
so mellow then still
came in with the hard yeah.
Good job, you guys.
Nice work, my train seals.
You guys are making, this is a great cult I've put together.
Let's check out the prize bag.
I brought some stuff, some typical stuff.
I got a Douglas Movies T-shirt
and a pipe from Peacemaker
and a copy of my CD, Promotional Tool,
and a blue card from Getting Doug With High,
a tumbler that says Tito's Handmade
Vodka on it. Yeah! Welcome! And a gift card for $10 on iTunes so that you could purchase
my most recent album Lexington or
premium episodes of Douglas Movies. Do whatever
you want with it.
Yeah, buy a Juice Newton album.
All that's in the prize bag plus stuff
brought by my four guests.
We got four seats up here.
And
I set out to have four guests that will, I think, have not appeared We got four seats up here. And...
I set out to have four guests that will, I think,
have not appeared anywhere else at the festival this weekend
because I love you guys,
and you deserve the best shows possible for coming out.
Aw.
Okay, I don't love all of you.
Okay, I don't love all of you.
Please give a big warm welcome.
A warm welcome to
Joe DeRosa,
Neil Berkley,
Gilbert Gottfried,
and Sam the Ma'am Levine,
a.k.a. Lil' Logan! For the stand-ups on the panel,
don't you love it when you're doing a show
and they give you one of these things?
Like, could it be more complicated?
Yeah, those I hate yeah I can't stand those yeah I don't care for any of it this is Gilbert Gottfried everybody first time guest on the show
and star of a
brand new documentary film
called Gilbert
yeah
you have to watch the movie to see what the title means.
It's pretty sneaky.
We don't know which Gilbert it's referring to.
It's kind of like Hat Full of Rain.
You don't know what the title means until you're deep into it.
You know, you don't know what the title means until you're deep into it.
Gilbert, can you give us one quick joke just to warm everybody up?
Okay, let's see.
Oh, a guy wakes up in a hospital bed and the nurse is standing over him.
And the nurse says, sir, you were in a bad car accident.
You won't be able to feel anything from the waist down.
And the man goes,
okay, can I feel your tits?
I'm sick of sexual harassment in the workplace,
but in a hospital, that seems fine.
Seems like a good spot for it.
And also joining us today is the director of the motion picture, Gilbert.
It's Neil Berkley, everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's a terrific movie, and when can people start watching it?
You can all see it.
If you're in New York,
you can see it on November 3rd
at IFC Center in Soho.
And then if you're in L.A.,
you can see it at the Lemley Fine Art
on November 10th.
And please go see it in theaters
yes do that
it's fun to
to laugh and cry with other people
it's more touching
than you would imagine based on the joke
this man just told
you said
what you said
about it was like thrilling for me you said about it was, like, thrilling for me.
You said it was the sweetest and filthiest movie you'd seen all year.
Yeah.
And I love that.
It checks off both of those boxes.
And it's great.
And thank you for, you know, using Gilbert as a subject matter.
I'm a fan of a couple of your other documentaries.
He also directed Harmontown.
And then Beauty is
Embarrassing, a movie about
Wayne White, the artist.
Yeah.
It's kind of cool that
one person was so excited about that one.
That's right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It is really good.
Also joining us here today is, I like to call him now a regular on the show,
even though he's only made an appearance once or twice,
but it's my friend, comedian Joe DeRosa.
Hello.
I've been on like four times.
Four times?
Yeah.
You think?
The last one was the third.
This is the fourth time.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I mean, you know, don't downplay.
Maybe you only made an impression one of the times.
Can I tell a joke too?
I guess.
All right.
I didn't know that's what we were doing,
but all right.
Well, do you not want me to?
Well, now we have to.
Okay.
Because I just feel like Gilbert will like this joke.
So there's a six-year-old boy.
Yeah, you're right.
He's already in.
There's a six-year-old boy.
I don't need any more.
Yeah, that's...
He's sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon crying,
and an old man walks up, and he says,
Hey, kid, why are you crying?
And the six-year-old boy says,
my mommy and daddy just fell over the cliff and died.
And the old man pulls his zipper down and goes,
this just ain't your fucking day, is it, kid? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Thanks for being here, Joe.
And also...
And also, for his 57th appearance,
it's Sam Levine!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Is that number real, Doug?
This is what a sweetheart Sam is.
Today we were somewhere at the airport at some point,
and somebody called you Mr. Levine.
Yeah.
And you just let it go.
I did.
Yeah, didn't correct him.
No.
Yeah.
I don't need to ruin his day.
With all your Jew nonsense?
Exactly.
Yeah. Honestly, I'm lucky they just don't call to ruin his day. With all your Jew nonsense? Exactly. Yeah.
Honestly, I'm lucky they just don't call me Uten.
You know?
Wow, wrong crowd, I guess.
Guys, it's okay. Nazis are very popular now.
Jews are allowed to crack jokes. It's how we survive.
Gilbert, tell another one.
Yeah, no, it's fine.
If it's someone like I'm going to be dealing with for a long period of time, I'll correct them. Of course you will, yeah, no, I, I, it's fine. If it's someone like I'm going to be dealing with for a long period of time, I'll correct
them.
Of course you will.
Yeah.
If it's a gate agent who I will never see again for the rest of my life, he can call
me anything he'd like.
All right.
Well, I hope somebody takes you up on that.
Yep.
Attention gate agents.
Calls you something really mean.
Um, we had a lovely time, uh, yesterday doing a show in St. Louis that's available now to listen to.
I know you guys have been going to podcasts all weekend, so you probably haven't been listening to any.
But you can check it out on your travels home tomorrow.
Or you can listen to this one again.
Yeah.
Yeah, because when you're here, that's exciting to listen to your own laugh, hear yourself welcoming the host to the venue.
And it's important to memorize the show.
Now, Gilbert has a podcast. What's your podcast called?
Oh, Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast.
I'd like to do that show sometime, if that's okay.
Oh, I'm sorry, Whitbook. Yeah.
Booked out for the
rest of time.
Yeah.
I mean, I think the world of you, don't get me wrong,
but I'm really sorry.
Now, do you have any kind of concept of what's going to happen here on this podcast today?
No.
No one walked you through it?
No one told me anything.
Okay, well we'll try to explain
everything as we go along because
there's some
elements to it that you might go, what is
happening?
And one of those is that all of my
guests bring something that they contribute
to the prize bag
which is what someone
in the audience will win today.
Did you bring something?
No one told me.
Neil, you didn't tell him?
He comes up to me.
You're supposed to direct him in life now.
Technically, yes.
As I'm walking on stage,
he says, oh, you're supposed
to bring something.
I think whoever wins today, I've just come up with a prize.
Would you mind giving them a hug?
Oh, okay.
That would be a great, I think it's a great prize.
Yeah.
No photographs of the hug will be allowed.
Yes, it's going to be a very private hug.
It's going to be a very private hug. It's going to be
overlooking the Grand Canyon.
It's going to give you a real scenic hug
and then some bad news.
Neil?
We did talk briefly, yes, right before the show
we talked, but there was the idea
that I pitched,
if you're okay with it, in front of a crowd.
Gilbert, doing
the voicemail message.
That's even better. You could do a voicemail
message like an angry bird
or something.
No, that would be new for me.
Neil, did you have something for the prize bag?
I thought that was my...
Oh, the two of you are contributing that?
Sorry, I blew it.
That's all right.
You can direct the hug.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, maybe we should film.
You should film it.
All right, well, Joe's definitely going to come through
because we've discussed this and he's always
very concerned about
bringing prizes that everybody likes.
You mean the one or two times I've been here?
Yeah. I did bring prizes
because you texted me four times
and said don't forget the prize bag.
So I guess if you star in a documentary
you don't get fucking pressured to bring shit for the prize i don't have gilbert's phone number
i did i am i supposed to tell you what i brought right now or yeah you've been on the show 50 times
i just remembered another time i was on when we did that will smith movie at the movie theater
where it doesn't count Where love comes and gives them
the letters or whatever it is.
Yeah, that was not good.
Yeah, it was terrible. This is
a thing I'm re-gifting
not because I don't want it, but because
Matt McCarthy, very funny comedian,
gave me these two
Godzilla DVDs. One is a Mothra
double feature.
And one is Godzilla, Mothra double feature. And
one is Godzilla,
Mothra, and King...
I don't know how to say it. Ghidorah? How do you say
that one? Nobody knows? I don't know.
A giant monster's all-out
attack, okay? So I'm
upgrading to the Blu-rays, which
is why he gave me these, and now
I give them to one of you.
Yes. Yes. Sounds like you're something of a Godzilla connoisseur. I'm not. These were the only two I owned, but I'm a completist and I'm
like, I can't stand owning two DVD. I have to buy the entire Blu-ray set now all at once,
which is a sickness. I'm sick. I collect Blu-rays and DVDs. The guy
who walked around in a
Godzilla suit died recently.
Tom Petty?
Yeah.
Tom would laugh if he were not dead.
I'm sure he'd like it.
I wish this was a comedy club,
because there's someone I would have thrown out.
I know.
This venue doesn't have any bouncers.
Sam, what do you got for the bag?
All right.
For those of you who somehow have heard yesterday's show,
which technically is possible,
from my pal Clark Wolf,
some more Logan Lucky swag from their promotional tour.
A trucker hat with the Logan Lucky logo.
Ooh, try saying that three times fast.
Logan Lucky logo, Logan Lucky logo. Yep, it can that three times fast. Logan Lucky logo, Logan Lucky logo,
yep, it can't be done.
Can't be done.
And then a Logan Lucky lighter
that also has a bottle opener portion to it.
That's pretty exciting.
And from, oh, hey, Doug, what's up?
Nothing.
Cool.
From the, oh, no, it's going to fall.
See, that's why I came over here. I I appreciate it you're a good man
from CISO
from the now sadly defunct
CISO the entire first season
of Take My Wife
there it is
Ray Butcher
and Cameron Esposito's
magnificently funny show
and I know that CISO is no longer alive
but I really hope that that show finds a new know that CISO is no longer alive,
but I really hope that that show finds a new venue because it's super funny.
That looks like an empty box.
It is not.
There are DVDs in there, I assure you.
And then because I felt so terrible
about when we played Willem Dafoe
on Last Man Stanton last week,
not one person said Boondock Saints,
so a DVD of Boondock Saints.
Good movie.
I've never seen that movie,
so maybe I should hang on to it.
Yeah, go for it.
Haven't seen these either.
I'm keeping all this shit.
If I promise, I feel bad.
I had in my head that we were a team
and I didn't think anyone gave a shit
about my other movies,
but since you'll like them,
I can guarantee I'll send them to you.
I have posters and DVDs of Beauty's Embarrassing.
I would love to give someone that wins whatever, however this works. Yeah. I'll make sure you you I have posters and DVDs of Beauty's Embarrassing I would love to give someone that wins
whatever this works
I'll make sure you I swear you'll get it
it's all good
don't worry about it Neil
just keep making great movies
about great people.
All right, I have a question for everybody now that we got all the prizes.
And since Sam knows what the question is,
I'll start with him first.
Okay.
Because did you manage to watch something on the plane?
What was the last movie that you saw?
The last movie that I saw
that I actually did watch on the plane is The Outsiders.
That is a strong choice.
Yeah.
S.E. Hinton and Francis Ford Coppola.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had never seen it all the way through, and I thought I should do that.
Tom Cruise at his heaviest.
Tom Cruise at his heaviest.
Very young.
Barely in that movie.
But yeah,
also barely in it. Rob Lowe.
That is a
strange film with very
unusual pacing.
I love Coppola and it is
weird to see a movie like that that feels
disjointed
at times knowing he'd
already made two Godfather movies.
So he was a master storyteller.
So clearly the blame lay on me
for not understanding what he was doing.
It is weird, by the way,
that I never thought of this.
You just said it,
that on The Outsiders,
it's like we're going to pull way back
on Cruise and Matt Dillon.
Heavy macho.
Heavy macho.
I mean, you know, hindsight is 20-20.
You know, if he only knew now.
But yeah, there's some weird long sequences to that movie
that are like, I might have fallen asleep a couple times
and woke up and I was like, oh, still in this sequence.
But it's an enjoyable film. It's very
there's some crazy shit that goes on
in that movie that I did not see
coming. So if you haven't seen The Outsiders,
check it out.
Don't they straight up murder Leif Garrett
in it? They sure do, spoiler
alert. It's been a
minute since I saw it. Yeah.
It's pretty insane, though, the star
power that came out of that movie when they were
no one. No one. Yeah, they were
absolute teenagers. Diane Lane?
Yes. Pretty much the
youngest Diane Lane I can think of.
Yeah. Well, I don't know why you'd need to
think of her younger than that.
It's a strange way to put it.
He goes to Rumblefish. So Diane Lane was
sitting overlooking the Grand Canyon.
And I forget how this one goes.
But that's the last movie I saw, Doug.
The Outsiders.
Good answer, Sam.
Thank you.
Joe DeRosa, what was the last movie you saw?
I know this.
I can't remember the last movie I literally saw,
but the last movie I saw very recently in the theater was Mother.
That was the last thing I saw.
You mean Mother?
Mother.
Yeah.
With an exclamation point.
With an exclamation point.
It was awesome.
I thought it was a work of art.
I thought it was brilliant.
I thought it was very mismarketed,
and I blame the team and the filmmakers for that. I don't
understand why they allowed it to be marketed
like it was some kind of Rosemary's Baby
horror movie. But the movie was awesome.
What would they tell people in your mind
to get them to sit through that shit?
I'll tell you...
Because I didn't enjoy it at all.
I'll tell you what made me enjoy it.
I watched Jennifer Lawrence's explanation of the metaphor before I went to
see it.
So then I knew what I was walking into.
And then I was like,
Oh,
this is a really cool kind of art house movie.
And I like that these famous sort of mainstream actors are in it.
And it was,
it was a cool thing,
but you need a little of that explanation.
If you don't get that,
they're playing it at the goddamn Glendale Pacific.
You know, it's that and like Medea's Boo 2
are playing next to each other.
It doesn't make any sense.
Not to knock Tyler Perry's Boo 2.
I'm not, you know, I am actually.
The first, I walked out of the first one.
But you saw Boo 1?
I did.
I went to see Boo One.
I ate two and a half gummy fish with weed in them.
Wait.
And drank a lot of whiskey.
And went in, and about 25 minutes in,
I was like, this is too much for me.
I can't handle this right now.
There's a real movie called Tyler Perry's Madea Boo?
It's called Boo, A Madea's Halloween.
I was hoping it was called Boo 1.
I was hoping we just called it out.
Well, that's what we call it now.
Now that there's a Boo 2 coming out.
The sequel's called Boo 2.
Well, he's not creative.
But it's a heavy flick, man.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, which one
are we talking about
the first one
I haven't seen
the second one yet
but I remember
my friend Pat Walsh
texted me
cause he saw it
before I did
and he was equally as high
when he saw it
and he was like
get ready dude
he goes for like
these 15 minute scenes
no edits
he's like
it's an odd
really crazy movie
and he does he'll hang in a scene
for about 15 solid minutes.
Just full conversation. Now we're talking about
Mother. No, this is Boo, too.
Mother
actually moves
faster and more coherently
than Tyler Perry's Boo
on Madea Halloween.
But what's with
Darren Aronofsky and just following a character around
through wherever the movie is set?
He did that in Black Swan, The Wrestler.
Like, he just follows someone around
as they wander through spaces.
I know what you mean.
It's because Pi, I hate the movie Pi.
That was his first movie.
And when everybody goes, you're a genius,
then they go, you can do this forever.
So he just keeps kind of making better versions of Pi, in my opinion.
But I saw Pi before when it first came out.
I fucking hated it.
Because it was just him following that guy around with the shaved head.
He was like, I'm good at math.
I was like, who gives a shit?
You're going to follow this fucking nerd around for two hours?
Yeah, can't we follow Jennifer Lawrence around instead?
Yeah.
With a weirdly see-through top on the entire time?
Not weird at all, just fun.
See, she represented Mother Nature.
Yeah, no, now I kind of get it.
But still don't care.
Ed Harris and Michelle Pfeiffer were Adam and Eve,
Cain and Abel, that's why one of their kids killed the other.
Yeah.
Are we talking about Tyler Perry's Medea Boo again?
Yeah.
I got lost.
Tyler Perry dresses up as Michelle Pfeiffer
and comes in and, yeah.
That's how they should market Mother is,
hey, bone up on the Bible before you watch this shit.
He's a big Bible guy, didn't Noah?
Yeah, he did.
Yeah.
But he really rewrote some shit in noah
he did first of all russell crowe right and rock biters what maybe we had rock biters yeah yeah
he had rocks that bit people my parents are super religious and my mom couldn't wait to see noah and
she loves russell crowe and i called her one day and i go what'd you do today she goes i finally
saw noah with russell crowe and i go oh good did you do today? She goes, I finally saw Noah with Russell Crowe. And I go,
oh good, did you like it? She goes, I didn't.
I'm a purist. They changed too much
of the story. And I was like,
Bible thumpers are exactly like
comic book nerds. There is no fucking
difference here.
There is zero difference.
Have they been to the Ark
Encounter in Kentucky?
The what?
The Ark Encounter. All right, Sam, not now.
You and I will talk after the show.
We don't have time for this.
It's going to blow your mind.
Neil, have you seen any movies lately?
The last movie I watched was The Bad Batch.
Oh, a horror film?
Ish.
It's about cannibals, dystopian future.
I heard it's good.
It's good.
Longish at times, but I enjoyed it.
All right.
Thanks for that brief answer.
I'm the only one that saw it.
You're really helping me to move this thing along.
You didn't see it?
I saw it.
That is actually, when you said it, I was like, oh, wait, that is the last movie I saw.
I fucking hated it.
Yeah.
I couldn't sit through it.
All right.
There's no reason to swear.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to.
There's a Jim Carrey cameo.
That bothered you?
Have you watched an interview with that guy lately?
He's doing something.
He's up to something.
He says he doesn't exist,
and what he is is just an impression
of what we think Jim Carrey is.
Did he say it after he bent over
and pulled open his ass cheeks?
Yes.
We tried to get Jim Carrey for the documentary,
and his excuse basically, at least he had an excuse,
he was on trial for killing his ex-girlfriend.
The things people will do to get out of being in a movie with you? I thought he could have said no.
So that explains why he's doing all this existential bullshit.
He's like, I couldn't have killed her.
I'm not really here.
Have you seen any movies lately, Gilbert?
Actually, I flew in today and watched two movies on the plane.
One of them is the founder about that guy Ray Kroc,
who's the head of McDonald's.
Yeah.
And he sounds like a total fucking prick yeah he yeah
even with a likable actor like michael keaton i was just like this guy's just fucking people over
yeah because he was like originally the mcdonald's brothers who created this whole thing and he stole it from them and became a billionaire.
Yeah.
And, oh, and the other one.
This is the movie everyone has been screaming
for a remake of
and that's going in style.
Yeah, we need to see a new set of old guys pulling off a bank heist yeah and and every review when
you talk about going in every conversation about it with,
well, it's a pleasure to see these three pros working up there.
That means somehow you can allow it.
And no one, if you're going to go see the film,
you know, leave now, because I'll reveal the end.
Nobody dies in it.
In the first one, two of them die.
Yeah, because they're very old.
Yeah.
And, and Morgan Freeman has a kidney problem.
So that would have killed him.
They're setting it up that he's going to die.
Yeah, they do.
They set it up and he has an attack.
And at the end,
Alan Arkin gives Morgan Freeman his kidney.
And you figure,
if Alan Arkin at his age gave up a kidney,
he'd be dead.
It would be bad.
Yeah. That's not a time to donate organs and Morgan
Freeman to get the kidney
they go well this guy's gonna
be dead in a week anyway
even with a new
kidney yeah why didn't he give his kidney
to a young person that needed it
laughing
laughing
laughing
crazy sounds like a great flight kidney to a young person that needed it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the just sitting around talking part of the show, and now we're going to play some games.
So this is when I say, let the games begin!
People brought signs, posters, name tags, call them whatever you want, but they all tend to be movie puns where they work their own name into the title, which Cassidy, she didn't have to do shit
because her name is Sid, so it's right
there in Cassidy.
There's lots to choose from
and what I need is for each one of you
to pick a name tag that you would like
to play on behalf
of today on the show.
Is there one out there you see,
Gilbert, that catches your eye?
Sam's going to go grab one.
You mean of a movie?
Yeah, does anybody have a movie that Gilbert is in as their sign?
That'd be good.
Yeah, does anyone have Funky Monkey?
Or How to Be a Player?
There are posters for either of those films.
I doubt it.
But Joe, go pick one.
Neil, go pick one.
I already know the one.
I want this one.
I've had my eye on it for a while.
All right.
Yeah.
And while you guys do that, we're going to go to a brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
We're back.
And Gilbert has chosen. It says, says I'm Charlene I'm Marlene
sequence from Spaceballs which name is yours she's Charlene so that's that's
the name tag her name is Mel Brooks there's some classic stuff in that Spaceballs movie.
Why weren't you in Spaceballs?
Do you know one time I auditioned for a Mel Brooks movie and I lost the part to Billy Barty?
He was that famous midget.
He was little.
Yeah, he was a midget.
So they decided to go that way with it.
Yeah, yeah.
We went some, we're going with someone more compact.
It's a small set.
We built the set too small.
Gilbert, you're way too big for this part.
All right, so you're playing for Marlene Charlene and
Neil, what do you got there?
To Live and Die in L.A.
Yeah, that's a play on To Live and
Die in L.A. which is another Willem Dafoe
movie we didn't mention and it's a great one.
It's my favorite.
Who are you playing for, Joe?
Excuse me, this is an Edge of Tomorrow
poster, Live Diana.
Repeat, and I picked this because I hate this goddamn movie Excuse me, this is an Edge of Tomorrow poster. Live Diana. Repeat.
And I picked this because I hate this goddamn movie.
And I don't understand why people love it so much.
So I don't know.
I just, I feel like I've gotten into very long bar arguments about this movie.
Just shit-faced.
Yeah, I don't care for it.
Is it too repetitive for you?
What's the problem?
I'm just like, it doesn't make any goddamn sense.
They're like, we need the PR guy to go fight in the... It doesn't make any fucking sense.
The movie, it doesn't make any sense.
Well, they were setting him up.
Why?
Because he was the PR guy.
But they like the war.
The people that set him up like the war.
So why are they mad at him?
We'll get a drink after this.
I didn't get to the end of it.
I cut it off about 15 minutes in.
He didn't die quickly enough.
Oh, you missed the best part.
That's when it gets brilliant.
That's what everybody says.
Oh, you didn't watch to the 37th minute?
That's when it gets good.
Yeah, no, fuck that.
All right.
Sam?
I went with the Mikey Ducks,
which is not a Mighty Ducks poster,
but a nearly two-pound bag of Haribo gummy bears.
And I have to hand it to Mikey.
He clearly knew about my previous one-bag-a-day habit
of Haribo gummy bears that plagued me for about a decade.
Do you used to eat a bag of gummy bears every day?
Every damn day.
Wow.
That big?
No, no, no.
The regular.
The regular bag.
This is just diabetes if I ate this every day.
All right. Well, that's who you guys are playing for.
The first game we're going to play today is called Characters Welcome.
And I'm going to list off the characters in the credits of a motion picture.
And just guess as often as you like the first person to name this movie that all of these characters is in wins this game.
All right?
Starting with, and no audience guesses, please.
Man at Street Corner is a character in this film.
A street car named Desire.
No.
No.
There's a character called, just credited as Thug.
This movie's got one or more thugs in it.
There's a character named Mendoza.
Scarface.
No.
Great guess, though.
Probably is a character named Mendoza in Scarface.
Here's another one that's probably in Scarface, but it's also in this movie.
Someone named Vinny.
My cousin Vinny?
No, just Vinny.
There's a parking valet.
There's a rap-singing guard.
On Beverly Hills Cop.
Two.
Correct! The parking valet is played by Chris Rock in that movie.
Yes.
Yeah.
And then there's the other characters I was going to say are Chip Cain, Carla Fry, Maxwell Dent,
Sidney Bernstein, played by Gilbert Gottfried.
Thank you. thank you.
And then, of course, the title character, Axel Foley.
And the director of that film, Tony Scott, jumped off a bridge.
Are you saying there's a connection between you working with him?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. between you working with him?
See, he should have jumped off the bridge right before he filmed me.
That would have been...
But that was an interesting movie
because it got more action-y and darker
than the first Beverly Hills Cop,
and so you ended up being the most funniest scene
in the movie, I think, because
a lot of it was kind of serious.
Oh, yeah. There was...
Juergen Prochnow was in that.
Oh, yes. He's funny.
And what's her name?
Bridget Nielsen.
Yeah, do you have to deal with her at all?
Not so much back then,
but I remember, see,
originally,
Sly Stallone was
supposed to be the Beverly Hills
cop, but
they kept his girlfriend,
Brigitte Nielsen, and
then I think there were all these
rumors that Eddie was
fucking her or the director
was fucking her.
Well, we can only ask one of them.
What really happened, and he's pretty hard to get pinned down.
Well, some people who were standing on the bridge said,
Did you fuck Bridget Nielsen?
Fuck Bridget Nielsen!
You know, I'm glad podcasting came along so you could say this sort of stuff
and not get fired from anything.
Right!
All right, so Gilbert won that game.
Congratulations, Gilbert, but there's more.
That means you get to go first in this next game.
It's called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
I'm going to say a tagline that was on a poster or in some sort of advertising for a movie,
and you have to guess what movie that's the tagline for.
And Gilbert, I'll ask you first, and then we'll go to Neil, Joe, and Sam,
see if anybody can figure out what this is the tagline for.
It goes like this.
It's not what is outside, but what is inside that counts.
What do you think that's the tagline for?
The only thing I could think of, just because it was on TV recently,
and it could work as a pun, but it's probably not,
would be hollow man.
It's not what is outside, but what is inside that counts.
Okay.
No.
Strangely, no.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Let's give Neil a shot at it.
What do you think, Neil?
I have inner space.
No.
Joe?
I feel like this is so on the nose, but it would be so right.
Inside out.
No.
Shit.
Sam?
I'm going to take a guess here.
That's what we would like you to do.
Is it the movie Aladdin?
That is correct.
I see what we're doing here. A theme. I see what we're doing here.
A theme.
I see what you're doing here, Doug.
Wait, why is that the tagline for Aladdin?
That doesn't make any goddamn sense.
Yeah, it's a puzzler.
It's because he's not really a prince.
He's a pauper.
Yeah.
He's also inside the can.
The genie, yeah.
I would guess the tagline would be,
everybody should have a monkey that steals for them.
That's the new Planet of the Apes tagline.
Okay, so Sam got that one.
Now we'll do another one.
We'll start with you again, Gilbert.
What movie has the tagline,
Bring Protection?
I shouldn't lose this.
Yeah.
No.
Neil? Problem Child? Oh, I see what you're doing. no Neil problem child
oh I see what you're doing
no
Joe
Def Jams how to be a player
cause he has a lot of sex
bring protection
and Gilbert's in it
oh that kind of protection
bring a condom to the movie
you think is what they're saying?
Yeah, because the guy in the movie might fuck you.
Because he fucks everybody all the time.
And then Gilbert yells at him.
You're funny in that movie.
The bellhop guy.
Oh, thank you.
I think it's a movie that's coming back.
Yeah.
They're going to remake it with Alan Arkin and Michael Caine.
Sam?
A Million Ways to Die in the West?
That is correct.
You are Abe Lincoln.
Yes.
We got somebody on the panel that knows your movies better than you do, Gilbert.
I didn't think it was Dr. Doolittle.
Brain protection.
Abe Lincoln, a character that you get asked to play a lot, right?
Yeah, I was Abe Lincoln on an episode of The View
and Abe Lincoln in A Million Ways to Die in the West.
Move over, Daniel Day-Lewis.
It's time to retire, DDL.
Okay, let's try another one, Gilbert.
He's bad, she's worse.
I'm gonna say
that this is Problem Child
2. That is correct.
Yes.
Alright, so
we got one more.
It's a tiebreaker between
Sam and Gilbert.
The two leading experts on
Gilbert Gottfried movies.
Oh boy. Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
So, Sam, you get to go first.
All right.
And see if you could win this thing right now.
Okay.
He's on the money, off the record, and over the top.
He's on the money, off the top. He's on the money.
I know you're in this movie and I guess it's
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane.
That is right.
That's an amazing...
I love that movie so much.
It's so stupid.
I love it.
Yeah, I didn't mind that movie.
I saw it.
That was a rave review.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's probably one of the better reviews it got.
Yeah.
Didn't mind it.
Can I...
My favorite line,
my favorite Gilbert line in that movie,
he goes, I met this girl,
and she was a total pig.
Anyway, I fucked her.
It's amazing he had so many slow years after that.
All right, so congratulations, Gilbert. You're killing it. slow years after that. Alright.
So congratulations, Gilbert. You're killing it.
But Sam won
that one, actually.
So this next game... And I think it was
in that movie where Andrew
Dice Clay said,
Hey, bitch!
Bitch!
What are you, power?
What are you, power?
Homo? Ow!
I was in bed with this broad.
She didn't...
I said, ow! I once in bed with this broad. She did... I'm an adult baby.
Goo, goo, goo, goo.
All right, we're going to play one more game.
And this one, Sam gets to start us off, and then we'll move down the row.
I'm going to sit this one out this time, because it's just in the interest of time.
But the game is called Last Man Stanton.
And the way this game works is we're going to get an audience member that I've preselected is going to tell us the name of an actor or actress,
and then everybody on stage has to take turns naming movies that person was in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But one time you can go to your lifeline.
In the case of Gilbert, it's Spaceballs, Marlene Charlene.
And Neil, you can go to Brian, In the case of Gilbert, it's Spaceballs. Marlene Charlene.
And Neil, you can go to Brian.
And Joe can go to the person whose name tag he picked.
And same with Sam.
Just one time.
And the person I preselected to help us out. Where is TV Pam?
Hi.
It's the lady with the shit name tag.
Hi.
It's the lady with the shit name tag.
But you still got picked anyway.
I can eat those.
I can't spray the Pam into my mouth.
But her name is Pam, so it's accurate.
Pam, what do you think we should play in the? What actor or actress should we use today?
Actor, director, Ron Howard.
Ron Howard.
Wow.
So, films he's acted in or directed.
Directed.
Yeah.
You ever worked with him, Gilbert?
Or?
No.
Oh, too bad.
Because that would help you probably.
Is that a tough one for you
you think Ron Howard movies
oh okay Apollo 13
not yet
I'm just saying in general
we have a problem
oh
we're starting with Sam.
All right.
Well, I want to save that one for Gilbert,
so I'll go with A Beautiful Mind.
Yes.
Starring the aforementioned Russell Crowe as a smart person.
Joe?
The Da Vinci Code.
Yes.
Ed TV.
Wow.
Yep.
Oh, shit. You guys are hitting the classics. Yep. So now you can just say Apollo 13. yes Ed TV wow yep oh shit
you guys are
hitting the classics
yep
so now you can just say
Apollo 13
Apollo 13
yeah nice
Sam
Angels and Demons
you bastard
I can't believe
it got that far.
Yeah.
Inferno.
Inferno.
That's all three of those stupid movies.
I mean, I'm sure some people like them a lot.
Tom Hanks is good.
The Grinch.
Neil?
The Grinch.
What's the full title?
The Grinch That Stole Christmas.
More.
What?
You know how sometimes there'll be a possessive at the beginning of a title,
like John Carpenter's The Thing?
You could just go with another movie if you don't know it.
Here's a hint.
It's not called Ron Howard's The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
Just go with a different movie.
Oh, man.
Now I'm going to blank on gonna blank on it wait you know who
wrote you know who wrote the source material right but dr. Seuss is the
Grinch this time but that's not the correct title what is it say oh he's
right Oh Sam's right oh the wording is. Oh, I didn't hear the rest of it.
I just, after he got Dr. Seuss right, I was happy.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
That's good.
Yeah.
What'd you say?
He just said the Grinch who stole Christmas.
It's how the.
Thanks, Sam.
You're welcome.
I can't bring anybody new around here.
These are your rules I'm enforcing.
I know.
I'm with Sam on this one.
That was a lot of rope you just gave.
Do you guys, are you really worried?
You guys really think Neil's going to win this thing?
No.
I don't know.
Gilbert, you got another one?
Yet another movie
starring Michael Keaton
Night Shift
yes
very good
and Kevin
Costner is
listed in the credits
as frat boy
number six
yeah
that's how I always think of him Rat Boy number six. Yeah.
That's how I always think of him.
Sam?
Cinderella Man.
Yeah, that boxing thing.
That boxing thing with Russell Crowe, again.
Splash.
Mm-hmm. Nobody said anything of his acting roles yet
Saving those
Neil
Oh, A Hard Day's Night
The Beatles thing
Is that name wrong again?
These are the answers you're accepting?
That's not what that's called.
Did I say yes?
No, that's not what that's called.
But do you want to go to your lifeline, Neil?
I'll go to my lifeline, yeah.
What do you got?
In the Heart of the Sea.
Oh, yes.
In the Heart of the Sea.
Yeah, that Moby Dick movie.
I don't even know what that is.
Yeah, it did not do well. really a Moby Dick movie yeah Chris
Hemsworth yeah I don't know why the Millennials passed on that one
Gilbert you got another one you can go to Marlene Charlene if you need to there was a movie he starred in
that was directed by, I think,
or produced by Roger Corman.
It was like something race, something...
I know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
Do you want some help from Marlene Charlene?
Willow? Oh, Willow. I'll talking about. Yeah. Do you want some help from Marlene Charlene? Willow?
Oh, Willow.
I'll take that.
Yeah.
That's the one.
Go with Willow.
Yeah.
Because they were racing to the Willow.
Yeah.
Hurry up and get to Willow is the premise.
Sam?
Eight days a week.
That's the name of the Beatles documentary.
I enjoyed that on a plane.
I also enjoyed it very much.
Joe?
American Graffiti.
Yes, there's an acting Ron Howard right there.
That's the one I had teed up.
It was?
Yeah.
Damn.
So you think you're out, Neil?
I think I'm out, yeah.
All right.
Very good.
You made a good effort.
Gilbert, you got another one?
I'm trying to remember
that fucking race movie
that he did with Roger Corman, and I can't.
He acted in one race movie
in order to get to direct another race movie.
But you don't know the title of either of those.
No.
All right, so you're out.
Sam, more American graffiti. He's in that? A hundred percent. Yep. Alright, so you're out Sam More American Graffiti
He's in that?
A hundred percent
It was just on TV and my god is that movie unwatchable
Alright Levine, you wanna fuck with me?
Not really
Frost Nixon
Oh, that's a good one
oh
nice
Sam
yet again
back to the Russell Crowe
a good year
oh yeah that wine thing
yeah
did somebody say
Cinderella man already
yeah me
I did
Sam said it
oh
oh
the untitled Han Solo movie.
Try again, Joe.
No! Why does that not count?
Because it doesn't even have a title!
But he's directing it!
It has not come out yet, sir.
It's not even finished.
Why doesn't that count?
It just doesn't out yet, sir. It is not yet a film. They just wrapped production. Why doesn't that count? It just doesn't.
That should count.
You know, you can't just list off things that are in development or, you know.
Like, it's coming out in 2018 or some shit.
It comes out in, like, next, like, May or something it comes out.
Yeah.
I'll have you back then.
We'll do this all over again.
God damn it
just go to your lifeline
alright
lifeline
Rush
Rush
the race car movie
yes
oh
not the documentary
about the band
alright
Sam
alright Mikey
what do you got
Grand Theft Auto
that's the one
that's the one
he directed.
Alright, hold on a second.
We don't have much time.
I know. Let me just go deep for one second here.
Untitled Russell Crowe film.
I'm going to go with
Def Jam's How to Be a Plumber.
Did he by chance direct that?
I can't think of anything else.
Yes, and afterwards,
Ron Howard jumped off a bridge
after he...
Unfortunately, he survived.
What?
Just having some fun with Opie.
Richie.
Sam?
Why?
You got another one?
Is the movie you're thinking about called Death Race?
Nope.
Okay, that's right.
It was Grand Theft Auto.
I just need one more correct answer and you need to rub it in.
Oh. Because also, I do not think he directed A Good Year. Really? Yep. It was Grand Theft Auto. I just need one more correct answer and you need to rub it in.
Because also, I do not think he directed A Good Year. Really?
Yep. That was a Ridley Scott movie.
Oh, shit.
So you've got to prove yourself right here and now.
Because I went first,
I've already said more than anyone else,
but I'll see if I can keep digging.
Good Christ.
What was that one he did?
Oh, Parenthood.
There you go.
Thank you.
And the other car race movie that he starred in was called Eat My Dust.
Ah, all right.
Eat My Dust.
Oh, God.
Did he direct Always with Tom Cruise?
No, that was Spielberg.
Oh, okay.
Oh, wait, no.
Always was the firefighting movie with Holly Hunter.
Wasn't Always Richard Dreyfuss and John Goodman?
Yeah.
What's the Tom Cruise movie with Nicole Kidman?
Days of Thunder.
Far and Away.
Eyes Wide Shut.
Did he direct Far and Away?
BMX Bandits.
Yeah, no, Far and Away.
Far and Away Far and Away
is another Ron Howard movie
well great job
Sam is our winner
everybody
thank you
come get your prizes
the person Sam
was playing for
hey man
congratulations and don't forget to hit these guys up for Sam was playing for. Hey, man.
Congratulations.
And don't forget to hit these guys up
for, uh...
Oh, shit.
That could've really
hurt that guy.
That's two pounds
of gummy bears.
Take these.
All right, Sam.
You got any plugs?
Hey, what are you doing
tomorrow night, Sam?
Uh, nothing.
You want to come back
as the defending champion?
Sure, duh.
Alright.
Find me on Twitter and Instagram, at Sam Levine, S-A-M-M-L-E-V-I-N-E.
That's all I got for now.
Thanks, Mr. Levine.
My pleasure.
Joe DeRosa, promote yourself.
I'd like to plug my two podcasts,
the horror movie podcast that Pat Walsh and myself host
called We'll See You in Hell on HeadGum,
and Kurt Braunohler and I host the podcast
about adult friendship called Emotional Hangs
on Feral Audio.
I want to plug my movie Gilbert about Gilbert Gottfried.
It comes out November 3rd.
IFC Center in New York.
Tell all your friends to go.
I'm Neil P. Berkley.
He's at real Gilbert Gottfried.
Please go see it.
Yes, and GilbertGottfried.com,
and I think Gilbert Movie is the website.
Add Gilbert Movie, yes.
And since we've already plugged Gilbert,
another Gilbert Gottfried's's amazing colossal podcast and um you got one more joke to leave us with uh okay a guy's in bed with a girl. He says, roll over so I can fuck you in the ass.
And the girl says, don't you think you're being a bit presumptuous?
And he goes, don't you think presumptuous is a big word for a three-year-old?
Sometimes we'll probably edit that one out but um i'm gonna be at the atlanta variety theater their variety theater in atlanta next sunday
october 15th at 4 20 and um thanks again to all of my guests. Let's hear it for them. Sam Levine, Joe DeRosa,
Neil Berkley, and Gilbert Gottfried.
Hang on a second.
Isn't Matt over there?
Like, there's a specific cue.
As always, and thank you to
the Biltmore Hotel and LA Podfest
and all of you guys for coming to LA Podfest
and as always
dropping your keys down an elevator
shaft is a shithead
Hollywood creepers
are a shithead
they list a bunch of names I'm not
going to get into
but I think they are all creeps and this may be being the are a shithead. They list a bunch of names I'm not gonna get into.
But I think they are all creeps.
And this maybe being the last
Podfest is
a sad, sad
shithead. Hit it.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another
talkie. Eyes of gold
is viewing crowd with spades in
foggy. There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause the, the, boobies!