Doug Loves Movies - (Rebroadcast) Jon Dore, Brody Stevens, Mark Forward and JP Manoux guest

Episode Date: March 1, 2019

This episode from 2014 features our late friend, Brody Stevens. Enjoy it!Live from Toronto's Just For Laughs Festival, Doug welcomes Jon Dore, Brody Stevens, Mark Forward and JP Manoux to the... show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, as a tribute to the late, great Brody Stevens, here's an episode that he was in from Just for Laughs in Toronto on September 28th, 2014 with John Doerr, Mark Forward, and J.P. Benue. I'm sure it's a very funny episode, and I hope you enjoy it. And as always, positive energy. Doug hates candy wrappers, greedy babies, sticky seats with 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see. Doug, Doug,
Starting point is 00:00:39 Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Who needs applause Hey, everybody. Hey everybody My name is Doug
Starting point is 00:01:10 And I love movies This is the love movies Oh wow Nice touch there on the end Alright We're coming to you from the queen This sounds way too highfalutin for what's about to happen.
Starting point is 00:01:30 We're coming to you from the Queen Elizabeth Theater as part of the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival on Saturday, September 27th. Say it with me, everybody. 2014 Wolf of Wall Street fight. Terminator 2. Judgement Day of the dead man walking tall. The president's men in black. Fisher King.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Ralph. Damn. Delight. Sleep perfect. Don't get ahead of me. Murder. Fight. Death.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Wish. Three of me. Ghost world. End of watch. Men don't leaving. Las Vegas. Food. La Jingle.
Starting point is 00:02:02 All the Wayne's World. Fastest Indiana Jones in the temple of doomsdays of thunderbolt and light foot fist way of the gun crazy I can't wait for this year to be over what have I
Starting point is 00:02:24 done to myself? Oh, at 420-ish. Let me see your name tags, Toronto. I knew they would be plentiful and large. You are DB? He's a DB, too. He's got IMDB. Is that a Forrest Gump thing over there?
Starting point is 00:02:46 Who is it? Jason. In the Forrest Gump poster? I don't get it. Hopefully one of our guests will get it. And they will pick it. Oh, there's some lit up back there. I like when people do that with their flashlights.
Starting point is 00:03:02 I also like how all the name tags got here early. Are there any way in the back? Did anybody get here super late and not bring a name tag? Over there. Those look like little horns of the JFL mascot. What's his name? Victor? Is that his name? What is it?
Starting point is 00:03:24 It is, Victor? It's weird. Next Saturday, October 4th, I'm doing a 420 Douglas Movies at Comedy On State in Madison, Wisconsin. Always have a fun time there. Great guests at Sioux Falls. I'm coming back to do stand-up
Starting point is 00:03:40 at the Orpheum Theater, also highfalutin like this place, on Saturday, October 11th. Let me ask you guys a quick question, to do stand-up at the Orpheum Theatre, also highfalutin like this place, on Saturday, October 11th. Let me ask you guys a quick question, because I'm telling you, I have so much fun whenever I come to Toronto, because everyone here is super friendly and nice,
Starting point is 00:03:57 likes to have a good time, and somebody up close has to have a vapor pan on them. This young lady over here, could you bring that over to me? Can I get a quick hit off of that? Is it one that works right away or is it one that's a lot of nonsense? Oh, look at this thing. Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:15 I think I can make this work. You got it. I don't need to tell you. No go. Next. Yup. Thank you I'd pick your name tag What's your name tag? Can't believe you have a vapor pen and a name tag
Starting point is 00:04:56 That's really You're an outstanding person I've seen that and you tweeted that already It's the Greg Outdoors Or OutDoug The Greg OutDoug I've seen that and you tweeted that already It's the Greg outdoors Or outdug The Greg outdug And my face is over John Candy's And his is over Dan Aykroyd's
Starting point is 00:05:11 I'm guessing Thank you for that I appreciate it And that was proof Front row had a couple of things But like Now I'm so fucking high. As you know...
Starting point is 00:05:28 Wow, Doug took a couple of vapor hits and totally greened out on us. Let's get into the prize bag, you guys. I'm not gonna unfurl it, but I brought, and I also just killed a fly with it backstage. This is a poster from my friends at the really fun film festival called Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas.
Starting point is 00:05:54 I just came from there, and that was, they gave everybody posters. And I got a Gateway Doug 2, forced fun. I've got a thing called Dirty Laundry that I participated in. I barely remember even doing it. That's probably my autobiography title. I barely remember even doing it. The Doug Benson story. A Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. I think this is an XXL, so it'll be fun to sleep in if you're smallish. Another CD somebody gave me from
Starting point is 00:06:30 a band called The Dead Side. It's called Infectious. I don't know if it's any good or not. Give it a listen if you win and let me know. And then also give a listen to one of my double albums. Did I do more than one double album? Probably just the one.
Starting point is 00:06:46 My double album called Smug Life. Yeah. Oh, wait, one more thing. And then all the guests brought something cool, and they'll all bring those things out with them when they come out here. But this, I've got to read the tag to remember even what it is.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Oh, it's a shiny headband. But then the color is mocha. Shiny mocha. So wear that to your Starbucks or whatever. See what happens then.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Let's do it, you guys. Let's get the guests out here. What do you say? I am high and ready to laugh at the shenanigans. Please welcome J.P. Manu, Brody Stevens, Mark Forward, and John Dorn What a game.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Were you there? It was incredible. Doug, they're referencing my attire. Yeah, you dressed for the game today that was played in a stadium that is adjacent to the Queen Elizabeth. Yeah, you dressed for the game today that was played in a stadium that is adjacent to the Queen Elizabeth. Yeah, BMO Field is the home. One-stop entertainment area right here
Starting point is 00:08:32 in Toronto. Couldn't have been more convenient for me to come to this show. Yeah. They were losing 0-2 at the half and they came back and won it 3-2. And they had to win because this is must win games from here on out if you want to make the playoffs and it was thrilling
Starting point is 00:08:48 well that's JP Manu everybody and I'm thrilled to announce that you're the winner of the first game today and that of course is the Pete Holmes game and you were the first person to speak without being spoken to
Starting point is 00:09:04 although one could argue that the audience member is the winner and you were the first person to speak without being spoken to. Although, one could argue that the audience member is the winner of the game, the one that shouted out and drew you into that conversation. I have a feeling this is a game I wasn't supposed to win. There's no prizes, there's no penalties. It's just a fun thing to say. It's fun to remind everybody how awful Pete Holmes is. I remind people
Starting point is 00:09:29 of the awfulness of Pete Holmes at every opportunity. JP, what'd you bring for the prize bag, buddy? I brought a bunch of scripts. JP has acted in many things. We were both in, I think, the same episode of Yes, Dear at one point in our illustrious careers. So I'm on a show right now with Mr. Dave Foley of Kids and Hall and News Radio fame.
Starting point is 00:09:53 I don't think anybody here has heard of that guy. Canadian national treasure, Dave Foley. And the show's called Spun Out. I got a few scripts of Spun Out. Wouldn't it be funny if there was a Canadian version of National Treasure where Dave Foley was being protected by Nicolas Cage?
Starting point is 00:10:11 Continue. But just in case you guys haven't had a chance to check it out on CTV yet, I did also bring a script of a movie that Leonard Maltin has not bothered to review. He's a lazy piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Atlas Shrugged, part two. Which stars J.P. Manu in the role of Conductor. For reals, you're in Atlas Shrugged 2? Part two, yeah. Despite my politics. I totally agreed to take that shitty paycheck. And 8x10 of the cast of Phil of the Future. And very, very collectible 8x10 of the Fruit of the Loom guys.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Your humble green grapes. How long ago did the Fruit of the Loom guys thing stop, and how did you find out? Were you watching a commercial and it saw a totally new campaign? Kind of. Or just guys with big dicks or whatever? I was the green grapes for seven years, and then I started working up here in Toronto, and it conflicted just enough to coincide with how little they wanted to pay me that I said, I'm done. Oh, so there was some new grapes?
Starting point is 00:11:28 There were some new grapes. For two years after I quit, Richard Horvitz, who's the voice of, like, Invader Zim, he took over the Green Grapes costume. But both of us had to share the Green Grapes costume with the Spanish language cast of Fruit of the Loom. And they're not as good about the freezing. When are you writing the book? This is good. Can I use this as the book on tape right now?
Starting point is 00:11:57 This is my audio recording. It's great. John Doerr is here, you guys. Also a return visitor to the program. I should say quickly that J.P. Manu was in one of the best episodes no one ever heard that we did in Toronto with Sean Cullen was there
Starting point is 00:12:18 and another guy. Let's not mention his name. Thank you. Jerry was so great on that episode that he's never been on again. I plan to keep it that way. But it was also a lost episode, so I kind of feel like
Starting point is 00:12:34 people need to hear what he was like, and then I realized, no, they don't. But do you remember that? Those who were at the Rivoli that night will never forget it. It was a special night. Yeah. Will you ever release it?
Starting point is 00:12:48 No, it got destroyed in a fire. It was like when you think you're shooting video and you're actually stopping every time you think you're recording and then you're recording when you think you're stopping. That's kind of what happened. They had a power surge and immediately when the show started, they didn't get any of it, and then they didn't think to,
Starting point is 00:13:08 well, why don't we stop the show? They were like, well, you had already started. What were we supposed to do? And I said, you're supposed to record the show. So that's as far as the argument went because, you know, I behave like a Canadian when I'm here. Yeah. You let things go.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Was that the recordist's name? Was he a French guy, Power Surge? Was that the problem? I was going to say the same thing. He didn't speak the language, did he? It's so weird, though, that right there in his name, you think that he would really be on the lookout for a Power Surge.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Yeah. Really recognize it when it happens. That's how he got his nickname. Oh, good old power surge. You didn't know it was sarcasm. Oh, good old power surge will help you do it. I thought about that, saying that. Did you really? Yeah, I was like, oh, Sergio Garcia
Starting point is 00:14:00 because the whole Ryder Cup is going on right now, so it just came to my mind, but I'm glad you jumped in there. John Doerr. Thank you, Brody. You're welcome. I'm happy. Imagine his name was Power Surge. Power Sergio.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Yeah. Well, let's just introduce him since he... Since we're talking to him anyway. On the hat side of the stage, it's Brody Stevens, everybody. Thank you. I really enjoy Toronto. Every time I come back,
Starting point is 00:14:33 it gets better and better. And better. And better. It gets shittier and shittier. I live here. Oh, it does? Yeah. These people probably left yesterday
Starting point is 00:14:45 to get to this theater. Oh, this is far away from stuff? No, every road around here is closed. Every one of them. It's a soccer game. Oh, they have to drive very far to get here. That was a good...
Starting point is 00:15:01 Thanks, man. Topical. Good reasoning. But, yeah, there's a lot of... That's all the driver wanted to talk about when I was getting a ride in from the airport, was how bad the traffic's gotten. And he kept trying to get me to say whether it was
Starting point is 00:15:15 worse in L.A. or Toronto. And I was like, well, this traffic I'm sitting in right now is typical of L.A. And he was like, so Toronto's worse than LA. Like it was weirdly important to him to win.
Starting point is 00:15:34 And I didn't want him to win. Because LA is horrible. At least Toronto, and correct me if I'm wrong, you can sort of live in the middle of it and then not have to drive everywhere, just walk over, right? It's a very pedestrian city. Very pedestrian friendly, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:50 That's like complaining about traffic in Manhattan or Philadelphia or something. It's like, well, it's fucking walk. What are you... Get in a cab. Take the subway. But he was also trying to win at being the worst at something.
Starting point is 00:16:02 He says, what's worse? Are we worse? And he wanted you to say yes so we could win at being the worst at something. He says, what's worse? Are we worse? And he wanted you to say yes so we could win at being the worst. That's weird. We're the best at being bad at something. I just think he did not want to take any responsibility for the traffic, nor did I want him to. What's his fucking name?
Starting point is 00:16:17 I want to find this guy. I don't like the sound of him. You know, it's so silly of me because I should do this. I should write down the name of every driver. Because these things, they do come up later, where somebody's like, what was his name? But let me quickly introduce one more guest, and then we'll find out what all your prizes are.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Our fourth and the only first-time guest on the panel, and I'm very excited to have him. We've been having fun backstage. Mark Ford is here, everybody. Thank you. Thank you. It's nice to be here. We've known each other for 10, 15 minutes,
Starting point is 00:17:03 and I think it's going great. There was a fly downstairs. We've known each other for 10, 15 minutes. And, um... I think it's going great. There was a fly downstairs. This is the best thing I've ever seen. Doug locked himself in the room with it, with a giant poster. And he fought it for 10 minutes. I wasn't going to leave that room until that fly
Starting point is 00:17:25 was dead or the show had to begin. It was a genuine holocaust. It was. It really was. Anyway. There's no more flies down there. That's a great segue out of holocaust. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:17:46 60 million, whatever. Yeah, anyway. Well, it wasn't the only Holocaust. The fly Holocaust? There have been. Pretty much everyone in this room has probably had a personal Holocaust at some point, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:00 like sitting between, like in the middle seat with two fat guys with BO on a long flight. Or being the only Jewish guy up here. You could say to yourself... Anyway. Anyway. That was a good guess. That was a good guess, because
Starting point is 00:18:20 we don't know each other very well either. 10 to 15 minutes. You took a shot, and you went for it. Where can we get your album, Mark, forward thinking? Because if you haven't done that yet, I congratulate you. I haven't. Thank you for the congratulations. What's the...
Starting point is 00:18:39 Your name is not unlike Power Surge. No? It sounds like an act... Your name said together unlike Power Surge. No? It sounds like an act... Your name said together sounds like an activity or something you're supposed to do. Yeah. It's time to mark forward, everybody. I say that in the mirror every morning.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Let's mark forward to victory. I wake up and look in the mirror and go, let's mark forward it today. You know what? I hate to do this to the winner of the prize bag, the eventual winner, but can I just give you this shiny headband? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Because I think you'd like it. Sure, I'd love it. I think you'd like to own it. Thank you. What's that? Can I take the tag off? You're committing to it if you take the tag off. We cannot return it.
Starting point is 00:19:23 I don't know. Oh, my God. you just took it off. Olivia Newton-John. Can I just say, Olivia Newton-John. Can I just say, I have some more shows tonight and I'm not going to take this off for them.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Yes! So if you see me later tonight, you'll be the only one person laughing. It doesn't really look like a headband. It seems kind of tight. It looks like a giant head. No, but I mean, is it going to cut off
Starting point is 00:19:54 circulation to your brain? I'll be alright. For someone with a big head, it doesn't draw attention to it. Don't worry, it's fine. You see the guy with the lasso on his forehead? Oh, my God. Well, you got away, didn't you? I did. I got away.
Starting point is 00:20:14 I tried to lasso you off. I have lasso scissors in my back pocket at all times. So your opening joke is, everyone so got away from the rodeo today. Good to be here. You don't talk like that. Yeah, be here. You don't talk like that. Yeah, I know. You don't talk like that.
Starting point is 00:20:27 That's a bad impression. That didn't sound anything like me. Hey, guys. Okay. Who do you think you are? Nanjani and Marin? It's fun to make references that my whole panel's like,
Starting point is 00:20:44 what does that mean? But John Doerr brought what he thinks. This is kind of a sidebar competition today. He thinks this is one of the best, if not the best, gifts ever brought for the prize bag. Well, hold on. I did say...
Starting point is 00:21:00 You were hoping to be the best gift ever. I asked you what the greatest gift was ever brought. I couldn't even think of what it was. You couldn't think of what it was? You couldn't think of what it was? I couldn't think of what the greatest one was, because people bring so many amazing things. They do. Now, we've already lost the headband from the bag,
Starting point is 00:21:13 so this better be good. Which was $49, apparently. What? Yeah, $49. No, it's not. Made in downtown L.A. Can I verify? It must have come with something else attached to it.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Brody would like to verify. Like $48. Yeah, I see a 49. Thank you. Why was I not trusted? Is that $49? I'll tell you why, because that's a headband. I'm the one wearing the headband.
Starting point is 00:21:37 It feels like a $49 headband. Did you shoplift that? You didn't buy that. Well, I can tell you this right now. Somebody gave it to me in my travels. It might have been a spastic bag checker at the airport. I don't know how that got into my possession.
Starting point is 00:21:56 I have no idea. Great, and now it's on my head. Spastic bag checker. I like that. Sounds good. Have you seen spastic bag checker? SBC that. Sounds good. Have you seen spastic bag checker? SPC? You know me. I brought... My gift, by the way, is...
Starting point is 00:22:11 Let's talk about your gift. Let's talk about your gift, which is comedy. That might be a $49 headband. This is an $80 gift. Okay, so, just in terms of dollar value, there's been a more expensive prize on the show. But this still might be the best one.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Motherfucker, I was going to... We did give away a cabin on the Weezer cruise. Oh, well, that's the best gift. That was a pretty good prize. Okay, well, I can't beat that. I'm sorry I didn't think of it earlier in the dressing room. I could have saved you all this anguish. But what is this shitty $80 thing?
Starting point is 00:22:59 People listening are going to think something just happened. He's just sitting there looking at me. So subtle. I think your listeners are smart enough, you know? I don't know. They're probably thinking JP whipped out a little mime bit over there. Oh, there he goes. I'm starting to worry about Mark's forehead. Don't. No, it's turning purple and the
Starting point is 00:23:17 forehead meat is spilling over the top. The forehead meat. Yeah. Did the spastic bag checker have much forehead meat, by the way? Mark's got muffin head. Muffin top head. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Really funny.
Starting point is 00:23:37 I was going to buy a TV. And I thought, that's insane. Well, you bought this item? I bought it. Holy shit, this is the best prize ever. The Weezer didn't cost them anything to give us a cabin. Well, fuck them. This is the best gift, then.
Starting point is 00:23:54 And it's not for everyone, that's for sure. But I thought about it, and I got a remote-controlled Ferrari Enzo. Ferrari Enzo. And you also have the receipt, which is very thoughtful. I have the receipt right here. It's not polite to leave the price tag on. That's why I did. It's $80.
Starting point is 00:24:17 It's right there. Yeah, Doug. It's not polite. So I'm just going to put that there For everyone to look at $80 That's definitely a better value You can return it and buy all the fucking books you want Oh trade it in for books I like that
Starting point is 00:24:36 You could trade it in for one and a half headbands To make an even bigger headband Yeah get one that'll fit you after you staple it together. You can... What? Why? Why are you shitting on the size of my headband?
Starting point is 00:24:53 It was a gift. I didn't try on headbands and pick this one. Well, you should take the tag off. You could have taken it back. Ah, damn it. I'm not going to fly to L.A. to return this. Plus, you don't even know what other magical colors might be available.
Starting point is 00:25:15 Well, if you had to guess what color it was. Right now? I've forgotten. I'll tell you what it is. It's a mocha. It says right here, mocha. You're wearing a mocha. It says right here, mocha. You're wearing a mocha. It's like chocolate.
Starting point is 00:25:28 It is. You're right. Good job. We covered that already. It's like mocha. There's no trust on this stage. No one can just believe what they hear. Let's trust people from now on.
Starting point is 00:25:38 Let's do it. Go. Mark Forward. Yes, friend. What did you bring for the prize bag? Oh I brought a lovely A great Canadian artist Made this sculpture
Starting point is 00:25:54 Of a It's of a Lamb sitting on a lion Sitting on a fish sitting on a turtle That's beautiful That's beautiful What's that the turtle, sitting on a fish, sitting on a turtle. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. What's that the turtle's sitting on? The turtle's sitting on like an algae or something?
Starting point is 00:26:13 Avocado. Why is the fish so big? It's bigger than the lion. It really is. I've never seen a fish that big before in my life. It's a large fish. You know what I would do with that if I owned that? I would get an aquarium that's just a little shyer in size than it,
Starting point is 00:26:28 and I'd fill it up with water, and I'd put it in, and I'd make it look like the turtle and the fish and the lion got together to save the lamb from drowning. That's beautiful. That's a beautiful story. And that's funny, because it was called Save the Lamb by the artist David Baxter. I think that was just the lion talking.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Save the lamb for dinner. Looks like a kebab. What an exotic kebab you're serving at this party. There you go. You'll have hours more fun. So that's going in the prize bag. The bottom line is you're going to have to carry a lot of crap out of here. If you win tonight,
Starting point is 00:27:06 it's a lot of heavy stuff, and we only brought very light bags to carry it around in. So good luck, everybody. And I don't even know what time it is, and I don't even care.
Starting point is 00:27:21 This is so much fun, you guys. Thanks. Have you been to the cinema lately, Manu I know you probably went to see some things at the Toronto Toronto Film Festival I didn't I didn't actually get to see alright nice talking to you Brody Stevens
Starting point is 00:27:40 yes thank you have you been to the movies not in a while Cody Stevens. Yes. Thank you. Have you been to the movies? Not in a while. Okay, Mark Forward. This is getting us back on track. We're really saving time with this segment.
Starting point is 00:27:56 I saw the last... Oh, God, the last one I saw, Lord of the Rings. Okay, it's nice. It was great. Nice to hear about that. I hope they make more. And John Doerr, have you been to the cinema? Has Doerr gone to the Bloor? No, but I watched Godfather 3 on television,
Starting point is 00:28:22 and I sent out an Instagram because I just got on Instagram and I didn't know that everyone could access it. And I sent a picture of my living rooms with the caption, arguably the greatest of the trilogy. And it was a picture from Godfather 3. And then some guy I didn't know
Starting point is 00:28:41 sent a message back saying, I thought you're supposed to live in a nice house and shit. That motherfucker. I like and shit. When you're typing it out, it's weird to add that. It's as a vocal thing, I understand it. It's a mannerism, yeah. I'm going to show it to you a vocal thing, I understand it. It's such a conversational thing. I'm going to show it to you, too.
Starting point is 00:29:07 You're going to show us your shitty house? Yeah, I am going to show you my shitty house. Yeah, I suffer for my art. But he did do that. People can find a way to attack anything you put on the Twitter or wherever. Say I wrote, arguably, the Godfather III, arguably the greatest film of the trilogy. Excuse me, sir. Oh, no, sorry, greatest film of the trilogy. Excuse me, sir.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Oh, no, sorry, this is what he wrote. Excuse me, sir, but why isn't your house fancy and shit? Second one down. I get the and shit more now because it's following fancy. What? It wasn't like he was really ripping on your house the way it is. He was just surprised it wasn't
Starting point is 00:29:44 more elegant. Yeah, why don't you have more opulent things? Spective candles. Exactly. Probably because you don't want your eye to be distracted by opulence when you're trying to watch arguably the greatest in the trilogy. Yeah. Of the Godfather films. Like I said, arguably.
Starting point is 00:30:00 Isn't Sofia Coppola in that? Yeah, she is. She dies at the end. She gets shot on the steps at the opera house that's very satisfying when that happens yes I've often been shot leaving the opera I like it I like dudes that love their daughters but man is she awful in that movie like
Starting point is 00:30:16 no one stopped that from happening for her being that awful for an entire movie see what I said arguably the greatest film this is what I love about it it always starts a good conversation. Yeah. We should do an interruption of that sometime. It was supposed to be Winona Ryder, though, wasn't it? Yeah, Godfather 3 would be great.
Starting point is 00:30:31 It was supposed to be Winona Ryder, and then, like, she had an emotional breakdown or something and she couldn't do it. Winona? Yeah. She's shoplifting. I think she ran off with Dracula. But we got lost in translation. Yeah, no, I'd say she went on to be a filmmaker whose work I enjoy,
Starting point is 00:30:49 and his work has a lot of good acting in it. Like, she knows good acting when she sees it. Yeah, Doug's not saying her whole career is shit. Just didn't like her in Godfather 3. Brody, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I love you a lot. No, I don't mind. We went for a nice walk today, remember? Yeah, you're a good guy.
Starting point is 00:31:03 To be honest with you, she, of course, was the baby in the first Godfather. She was great in that. And no, she... That's the only flaw of that movie.
Starting point is 00:31:13 She fucking... The scene she's in, go look at him again. That is the... That baby does not know how to react. Doesn't know what it's doing? Doesn't know how to act
Starting point is 00:31:20 like a baby at all. I don't know what... Oh, no. Granted, her listening shots were terrible. Yeah, but... Yeah. Shut up't know what it's doing. Oh, no. Granted, her listening shots were terrible. Yeah, but... Yeah. Shut up and listen.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Stupid baby actor, yeah. Yeah. Not very good. Well, now's a good time to say let the games begin! Take control, Toronto, of your soccer hooligans. The fucking people leaving that soccer game just walk across the street without even looking.
Starting point is 00:31:53 We almost ran over, like, 20 of them. Yeah, and they had children in hand, too. Yeah. Like, they were adults. They were walking their children into danger. They've got, like, they're walking around with soccer fever. Like, those people, they were as dazed looking as someone
Starting point is 00:32:06 who's wearing too tight of a headband for about 30 minutes. Give or take 10 minutes. So the audience brought name tags. You were talking about me. At this point,
Starting point is 00:32:22 John and I are jealous that we don't have something tight on our heads. Our heads are just out there, free-falling. Am I supposed to mention my gift or is that... Oh, yes! Everyone ignores the Jew. I think we just had to create a new award
Starting point is 00:32:41 and that's going to be the person who speaks last and the softest is going to get the Brody Stevens award. Yeah. My voice is a little raw. So you want me to explain what this is? It's around your neck so take it off and tell us about it. Oh I'll take it off. Okay. I enjoy baseball
Starting point is 00:32:57 and stadiums and I wanted to go down to the... I like it in bathtubs. Yeah. I wanted to go down to the Sky D like it in bathtubs. Yeah. I wanted to go down to the Sky Dome. I refused to call Rogers Center. Wow, they love that it's called Rogers Center. I want Rogers...
Starting point is 00:33:16 You're going nuts as soon as you said Rogers Center. Rogers, it's on my phone. Stay off it. So is Rogers essentially the AT&T of here? Because we hate AT&T. Well, I love AT&T. Sorry, guys. Didn't mean to ruin any endorsements you have
Starting point is 00:33:34 working. Someday. So I finagled a field pass. I went down there. All I wanted to do was see Jose Bautista. Joey Bats. That's all I wanted to do because I met him before.
Starting point is 00:33:52 And then I went down there. I got a pass. I went down there on the field. I felt the AstroTurf. It was great. I thought about all the World Series championships and the Argonauts and Bruce McNall. championships and the argonauts and bruce mcnaul and uh you know i met wayne gretzky in the airport the other day coming here at pearson so i just keep the sports theme going this is my pass my field pass you can't use it but i'm gonna donate it and it means a lot to me because it has if they
Starting point is 00:34:20 just let their facial hair grow put on a a pair of sunglasses, and walk in and say, Positive energy. Don't you think they could get in? You got it. You'll be in the dugout. So I like this pass. It's colorful. So it does mean something to me, and that means that I'll donate it to the show. To the victor. To the victor. Gets my pass, says Steven Brody Stevens. I hope whoever wins today gives it back to you. That would be a very touching moment.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Just go ahead and throw it there with those really great gifts. Toronto loves sports. Wait, it was good hanging there, but... Oh, you wanted to hang it there? I was going to put it with the other gifts. I couldn't see it because you wanted to hang there? I was going to put it with the other gifts. I couldn't see it because it was hanging behind the... I was going to put it with the other gifts there. Okay, that fancy $80 vehicle.
Starting point is 00:35:09 But I can put it anywhere you want, Brody. I only played this theater last night. I know all the angles. And sight lines. It'd be funny if you put that up, but that's okay. Okay. All right, wait, Let me contribute to this. Did you really meet Wayne Gretzky at the airport?
Starting point is 00:35:27 Yeah, LAX and Pearson. Did you talk to Wayne Gretzky? Yes, I did. Holy fuck. What did you say to Wayne Gretzky? I said, excuse me, I need to get to the kiosk. I like it. True story.
Starting point is 00:35:42 The Gretzky-osk. Yeah. I like it. True story. The Gretzky-os. Yeah. And then I did talk to him at the baggage claim here, and he was a nice guy.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Nice. What did you talk to him about? I said I was in due date. And I met you at the Roosevelt, and that's all. I was just goofing. He was a nice guy. He's in due date?
Starting point is 00:36:04 No, he went to the premiere. I spoke to him in Hollywood. I remember I had a conversation with him. It was real quick. But just brought that up. And he was a nice guy. He was cool. Wayne Gretzky had a hat on.
Starting point is 00:36:21 What else? He had a leather jacket. What kind of hat was it? He had like a Gretzky Kids Club, something like that. He had a Gretzky camp hat on. He was wearing his own name on his head. Yes, he was. I know it's for the kids club, but I feel weird wearing that. It was a small font.
Starting point is 00:36:41 You had to look close. I give it to him. I give it to him. And he's leaned out a bit. He's wearing a leather jacket in summer. Is he making a comeback? No, he just... Is he going to play again or no?
Starting point is 00:36:56 No. That'd be great if he told you he was going to play again and you talked him out of it. He just said, you don't have the right energy for that. Energy, yes. 818 till I die. Where's your protection?
Starting point is 00:37:11 Where's Marty McSorley when you need him? One third sports fans here. Okay. Oh, my ankles are tingling. That'll happen. That'll happen We have like EMTs on standby right? Yeah we got No we don't have any EMTs
Starting point is 00:37:34 You put this on my fat head And you don't have EMTs Are you also transforming Into some sort of character? I'm transforming into some sort of character? I'm transforming into Headband Man! Headband Man. The headband is sweating.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Oh, man. Ha ha, guys. I'm terrible at this game. I think we're supposed to pick name tags still. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So go grab the name tag you want to play for and bring it back to your seat. Don't read the shithead on the back out loud
Starting point is 00:38:09 if there is a shithead on the back. If there isn't a shithead on the back, the person who made that name tag is a shithead. And while they do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Those are real donuts? Yeah, because I'm a fat fuck. We've learned that.
Starting point is 00:38:26 We should open the donuts. I saw other better ones, but this one was donuts. And it actually has your name on it. Yeah, but I think she wrote that after. Let's be honest. What do you mean, after what? That's a great one.
Starting point is 00:38:42 This one's really good. That's a sports thing. Breakfast at Griffin E's. Doug. That's a sports theme. Breakfast at Griffinies. Doug Benson plays that darling, darling. Holly, go lightly to a new high in entertainment delight. And they even look at, look at, they got a light on them. Hang on a second. We're back.
Starting point is 00:38:57 Oh. What's your name tag? It's a poster, a spoof of Breakfast at Tiffany's, but it says Breakfast at Griffinys. It looks more impressive than your description. Well, for a podcast.
Starting point is 00:39:17 I'm going to return this and get another one. Is that okay? I have to go with this one? Okay. This one's great. This one even came with its own marquee light underneath it. Yeah, so usually people will have to point their phones at their name tags or bring a flashlight or even a fleshlight.
Starting point is 00:39:37 They'll just wave a fleshlight at it. And all the glorious light that comes from a woman's vagina shines on the coaster. Is the theater usually, like, outside, littered afterwards with angry name tags? No, they're reusable and recyclable. You can take it home with you and then bring it back the next time. I think I would destroy mine viciously and angrily. I spent time on this.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Who are you playing for, Mark? I'm playing for Angela in the outfield. I like it. She gave me six large busting donuts. And it had my name on it. Well, whip one out of there and take a bite. Let us tell us how you like it.
Starting point is 00:40:18 Yeah, I should make this headband tighter. I just read the back there's a note on the back of this I will not say it that's for at the end look at that donut that's more like a big piece of cake it's round
Starting point is 00:40:36 those are donuts by the way I know it says for the rest of them headband character. Headband man's getting scary. He takes one bite. She's like, it says Doug and friends. Don't get out of control. She assumed the fat guy with the thin
Starting point is 00:40:55 headband is also an asshole. Do not mark forward with those donuts. I don't want one. No offense. Mark forward with those donuts. I don't want one. No offense. Because at the end if you lose, we'll say it.
Starting point is 00:41:11 I'm okay. I have a 7 o'clock show. I will take one of those. Thank you. JP's enjoying it. It just looks sexual. That doesn't look banana. Okay. Is this Tim Hortons? There we go. No, I'm good, thanks.
Starting point is 00:41:28 Oh, good lord. But those do look awesome. Thank you for bringing those. How old are these? When did you make that? Were these bought today? Well, they made the box. They wrote on it. Yeah, they wrote on the box. But did you buy these donuts today? Yeah. Thank you. That's all I ask. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:41:44 Let us know, Quality Control. They're quite good. I would laugh if she brought day-old ones. I'd be fine with day-old as well. All right.
Starting point is 00:41:54 That's all I wanted to know the last two days. Go ahead. Give it a, oh, wow, I took a big-ass bite. Wow. A lot of it in the beard.
Starting point is 00:42:01 These are terrible. I don't like that at all. I thought I was getting a banana one. That was under the banana row and it was beard. These are terrible. I don't like that at all. I thought I was getting a banana one. That was under the banana row, and it was not. That was apple. It doesn't look like apple or banana. It doesn't taste...
Starting point is 00:42:16 It's shit. And I know someone put a lot of work into it, so it is shit. Mine's really good. No, mine wasn't. What did you get? John, can you not? Mark, you just...
Starting point is 00:42:31 Are you kidding me? What? You just stepped on the donuts. Right on the donuts, Mark. Mark, go ahead, Batman. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I didn't...
Starting point is 00:42:41 No. It's okay, because you know what? Yeah, this one's worth more now. I am so sorry, Angela. No, no, he only... Mark only stepped on one. It's so awful. I can't believe you stepped on the pancake.
Starting point is 00:42:52 This is still edible. Lego. Oh! Yeah! There's shoe markings on it. His shoe didn't touch it, just the top of the box. No, there's some shoe in that. Who knows where the top of the box has been though
Starting point is 00:43:05 yeah that's the first thing I lick when I bring a box of donuts home do you do that on purpose you want those what's that what's your name Don I don't know did you do that on purpose step on her dreams I don't think he's accountable for his actions right now did you do that oh man I would hate to be in a play with you hey are you really a phantom no this isn't an opera.
Starting point is 00:43:49 What's your name again, the lady donut lady? Angela. Sorry, Angela. Angela in the outfield. Oh, yeah, Angela in the outfield. Not a fan. Not a fan.
Starting point is 00:43:59 I want to thank Angela. Mine's like an apple pie. It's delicious. JP likes it. They're a bit off. Plus, she didn't make them anyway. I tried a bite of two of themaked. JP likes it. They're a bit off. Plus, she didn't make them anyway. I tried a bite of two of them, and they're not good.
Starting point is 00:44:12 What's one worse than the other, though, by a little bit? I don't know. I'm feeling sick, but I don't know if it's the headband or the donut. This is a donut. You've had a lot today. I've had a lot.
Starting point is 00:44:21 You've had some beer, you have the headband on. Can I go get a beer, by the way? I smoked some weed for you. Please do, yes. But I'm allowed to, or I don't want to ruin it. No, please. Or somebody might want to help you, but, you know, we can get you a beer.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Shane, can you, the mic, you don't need to monitor the levels. Everything's fine. Can you go get me two beers? One for Mark, one for me. Please. You're not moving? Oh, could you open them also? Because there's no bottle opener down there.
Starting point is 00:44:46 Oh, he's listening to something else? He might be. He's not responding to me at all. He's got that new U2 album on. Hey! Can you please grab me two creamer from the... Frit? No, it's just gone. Oh, there he is.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Thanks, Shane. Okay. Zane. It's never good when somebody has to take headphones off like this. Yeah. Never good. That's always like a surveillance situation in a movie. It's gonna rhyme.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Yeah. God. The plan. God, fuck it. We lost contact. He's sitting out here all night. You should have kept him on the phone longer. Brody. Yes. who are you playing for?
Starting point is 00:45:28 I am playing for 10 seconds, the pain begins. 15 seconds, you can't breathe. 20 seconds, you explode. Seaners, yes! I guess I'm playing for Sean. Yeah, you really sold that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:43 Is that not what I was supposed to do? No, it was good. Well, Sean, thank you, and... Good luck. We're gonna do it. Oh, I mean, Brody's gonna win. No? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:54 Positive push, let's go. I fixed my phone, so the answer... Hey! Oh, shit. There's some beers for you guys. And some hugs. Now get the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Thank you. Genuinely thank you. I rigged the game so that the answer is always due date. So congratulations, Sean. But who are you playing for, JP? Just for the hell of it? Jesse Usher.
Starting point is 00:46:26 And his is a wonderful twist on the Jumanji poster. It's Jumanji. That's a wonderful twist? Jumanji. I think I got roadies. Sitting right next to this. Why are you... You don't have to hold it.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Too mungy. Is that a Holocaust movie? An adventure for those who seek to find a way to leave their world behind. That might have been the actual tagline for the movie, though, right? You're absolutely right, audience. Oh, you are so... The audience was right on. Did Schindler have a to-do list?
Starting point is 00:47:07 Did you also bring a Ouiju board? They can find you ghosts! Don't look at me! I really don't... I need you to not pass out on me, Mark, because... I don't think I can make it. We've got a very important game to play.
Starting point is 00:47:29 I don't think I'm gonna make it. Although your head crashing into a stool with beers and donuts on it would be pretty hilarious. I'm gonna go straight for my statue and get a lamb through the skull. Oh, no. That thing would be the best murder weapon.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Murder. It's like the Bizarro Chinese Zodiac. It was in the billiard room with the lamb, lion, fish, turtle statue. It looks like those balanced rocks on Bloor in front of the Starbucks. Am I right, guys? I took a photo without tipping. Local reference. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:07 I'm going to have to go check that out it's there I just can't believe you guys picked name tags but that didn't have food that's ridiculous oh here's a post though there's lots of food out there there's often gifts very large posters and what happens to them now? JP and Brody both picked wallet size. I don't know what compels people to pick certain things. I got half of Mark's. I may have just given myself Canadian diabetes.
Starting point is 00:48:36 I couldn't fit a box into my fanny pack. I love that. Your disappointment in their reaction Got a big laugh They appreciate it That's what a great crowd this is They're going to get their laughs in somewhere A lot of laughs are coming as a result of facial gestures
Starting point is 00:48:58 Yeah, good podcast I did a facial gesture. Facial gesture. Should we say that now? You're pointing something out with your face? Yeah, like this. It's that way. Facial gesture. That's the politest way to gesture.
Starting point is 00:49:21 Pointing's rude. Just do it with your face. Exactly. Don't point. Do you guys play a game on this podcast? Last time we played this I almost won But I said meet the Fockers Instead of meet the parents Oh, that's a crucial mistake you made there
Starting point is 00:49:39 It was crucial Because it was the wrong movie But I was in the right family Doug, go ahead It was crucial because it was the wrong movie, but I was in the right family. Doug, go ahead. Trying to give some history and context. I love it. Good.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Let's play the game. If you want. We're going to start with something that I like to call ABC These Nuts. It's a spelling game, you guys. We'll start with JP and work our way across. Spelled correctly already. M-A-N-O-U-X Ding!
Starting point is 00:50:29 We're going to spell, because we're interrupting it later tonight, some of us on this stage, we're going to, here in Toronto, as part of Just for Laughs, we're going to interrupt the classic meatballs. Not because, yeah, go ahead, applaud for meatballs. Not just because, I mean, I'm not really necessarily want to make fun of it. I'm just excited to see it on a big screen like I did when it first came out and Bill Murray emerged as a huge star as a result of it. Yeah. So, JP, we're going to start with you with the letter M. And you just have to name any movie that begins with the letter M.
Starting point is 00:51:07 And if it matches the one that I've written down ahead of time, you win automatically. But if you can't think of one, and this has happened, you guys. Not just on the letter X. Lots of letters, people blank. And so if you can't think of one, you're out. JP, M. M. People blank. And so if you can't think of one, you're out. JP. M. Mean Girls.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Oh. I just saw on TV that Lindsay Lohan has been sending emails to Tina Fey. Those are going in the trash. Telling her she has a great idea for Mean Girls 3
Starting point is 00:51:47 and that she should reach out and that she's going to continue to bother her until she actually writes it. Tina Fey is in her own Holocaust. She is in a Lindsay Lohan Holocaust because there's no way she's going to write that movie for her. I don't think.
Starting point is 00:52:06 I think it's a smart move, honestly. Did they make Mean Girls 2? You know what her great idea is? They're all older and now they're housewives. Oh, yeah, okay. I like it. That's what would have happened to those characters. Ugh.
Starting point is 00:52:23 People got upset. They liked the idea I went with Really you guys want to see Mean Girls 3? Or 2 I guess right? Why did I jump to 3? You said 3 and that's why I asked Did they even make 2? Yeah they did
Starting point is 00:52:39 Lindsay Lohan wasn't in it And it took place at a summer camp Oh And then what No I meant two You did mean two I just They haven't made Mean Girls 2 already
Starting point is 00:52:56 I know why did you say 3 But it's funnier that Lindsay Lohan wants to make Mean Girls 3 and not 2 that's great That's the most creative thing She's ever come up with. I wish that was... There was a 2 we have of the young lady. Oh, there was a 2, was there?
Starting point is 00:53:09 Who was in that? Oh, okay. She's like, I don't know anything about it, but I can verify that it happened. Get out. Oh, it's a TV movie. Oh. It says Meredith Baxter-Burning.
Starting point is 00:53:25 Boom, points. I gotta watch that. I said an M word. I didn't go with Mean Girls. I went with Midnight Express. Good movie. Yes, because I'm going to be on At Midnight on Monday, September 29th.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Now available in Canada on Much Music at midnight. What show? Brody, you have the letter E. Not even in... I would just like to say that the M, I did think Midnight Express.
Starting point is 00:54:02 I work at midnight. I'll see Doug there on Monday. I'm excited about that. You didn't realize I work there. I help out. I push the energy. Okay. E-X-Caliber.
Starting point is 00:54:19 Okay. I went with the escape from Alcatraz because I'm going to be in San Francisco at Cobb's on October 30th. We're going to Douglas Movies there. A is your letter, Mark. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:54:42 I can't imagine how hard this would be with a super tight headband on. I know, I can't imagine how hard this would be with a super tight headband. I know, I can't even function properly. I think I just wet myself. Please don't. I can't help it. Is this really happening? I ask myself that all the time.
Starting point is 00:55:11 What are you doing? That's how I think. A. Yep. Just say it out loud, then say more words or more letters or more consonants. Were you not ready? Or vowels. A.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Alcatraz. You're gonna be there next. Mark, you have it right in front of you. Angels in the Owlfields. Oh, Angels in the Owlfields. Right there. It's on your donut box. For the taking. Apocalypse Now.
Starting point is 00:55:50 You're out. Does that mean I leave? Or what happens? No, no, no. You just hang out. I'll probably forget that you're out by the time it gets back to you. So just be ready. I went with Airborne because it was shot supposedly
Starting point is 00:56:05 in Cincinnati where I'm going to be at Go Bananas October 18th at 420. And also Airborne features Jack Black and isn't a bad little movie actually. Doug, I'd just like to say in my backpack if we got it right now, I have a
Starting point is 00:56:21 bottle of Airborne. Does it come in bottles? Yeah, it's a lozenge. You don't have to dip it in water. It's a crazy coincidence, Brody. All right, what do I know? I was only in the movie Due Date. I'm sorry, there are no Ds in meatballs.
Starting point is 00:56:46 Your letter, John, is the letter T. Weekend at Bernie's. No, wait. I was just about to say the letter T is a very easy letter. Probably more movies begin with the letter T than any other letter. The Schindler's List. You know, if you're not going to take this seriously You're right If you're just going to keep bringing up the Holocaust
Starting point is 00:57:11 You're right You're absolutely right Here we go Comedy comes in threes So John's third joke answer is I'm gassed Oh my god Thank you
Starting point is 00:57:33 I believe comedy comes in 11s by the way So buckle up Here we go Here we go Really I gotta answer this? Mm-hmm Okay Is that how you're gonna approach all the games today? Here we go. Here we go. Really, I got to answer this? Mm-hmm. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Is that how you're going to approach all the games today? Well, no, but you gave me T. You do expect me to participate? You gave me T. Yeah, any movie that begins with the letter T. Okay, The Godfather. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. It's that easy.
Starting point is 00:58:00 I know, but where are you performing? It's not that easy. I had A and it's sitting right fucking in front of me. Right on my name tag. Yeah, that one was, yeah. I went with what I find to be one of the most hilarious motion pictures to ever come out of Canada. For my letter T, and that is the sweet hereafter. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:28 That was classic. There are plenty of people in the United States that will hear that joke and have no idea. And that's why I said it. But it is a good movie. Sarah Pauly sang a tragically hip song in that movie. I didn't even realize this. Last night I had
Starting point is 00:58:43 a beer called The 100th Meridian and I realized if I get alcohol poisoned and die, I hope everyone gets Roy Cougar to sing my eulogy. Playing to the hometown crowd. Doug's not happy about that. I just have no idea what just happened.
Starting point is 00:59:01 I know. You get the letter B, JP. It's our secret. B. It's just down to you and to Brody. It's a very tight competition. Benji? Huh?
Starting point is 00:59:15 Benji. Benji. Oh, yeah, Benji. Benj Monji. Was there the first one was just called Benji? Yeah, I think it was. I know eventually they did Benji the Hunted, which is a very dark twist.
Starting point is 00:59:28 I think the first one was Benji the Benji. Yeah. Just Benji. I went with Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure because, strangely enough, it was filmed partially in Arizona. I didn't know that. And I'll be at the Tempe Improv
Starting point is 00:59:40 November 13 and 15. And Brody, you get the letter A. I... You probably thought of one earlier when we were tossing around A titles. I certainly was. I counted it out. Oh, you planned ahead? Yes, I did. What do you got? Well, there's a lot of
Starting point is 01:00:00 Schindler's jokes tonight. And I would like to go with the movie How I Feel Up Here. American history X. I'm getting jumped by a bunch of Aryans. You don't do that to me. Not in Toronto. Not in the multicultural city of Toronto.
Starting point is 01:00:18 You got it. Priest Burger. No. I went with Air Force One. For pretty much the same reasons. Somehow Air Force One was shot partially in Columbus, Ohio? That doesn't seem right. Seems like it should have been inside a plane in the air.
Starting point is 01:00:59 And then down at the White House. But I'm going to be in Columbus at the Funny Bone October 19th. Doing a Doug Loves Movies. First time we're doing a Douglas Movies there, so that should be fun. Mark, you're out. John, I'm letting you stay back in. Thank you. You seem so hurt. I didn't take it seriously the first time, but I will this time.
Starting point is 01:01:15 So if I showed emotion, I would have been back in? He did say the correct answer eventually. I sent some after You had no idea I don't even know where the fuck I am right now John
Starting point is 01:01:29 Alright What do you got for the letter L John Oh um I'm surprised by how this is working Oh oh me? League of their own. No, it doesn't count. I'm out because it's a league of their own.
Starting point is 01:01:51 Fuck. Thank you for moving the game along. I went with Lost in Yonkers because I'm doing a movie interruption of Ghost in Yonkers on October 5th. Alamo Draft House. You got another L there, JP.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Oh, you're gonna say it. L. Llewellyn, comma, inside. It's kind of miraculous how difficult this game can be for some people. Well, I so overthought L, I saw two Ls, and then it was like, all I could do was say Llewellyn. Or Lewyn, or whatever his name was. It's The Last of the Mohicans, isn't it? That's what you wrote.
Starting point is 01:02:38 No, that's The Last of the Mohicans, and I... I honestly I think I might be an idiot This is pretty much a standard IQ test You're not the one that sat down and put on this fucking idiot headband in front of 500 fucking people John that sat down and put on this fucking idiot headband in front of 500 fucking people. John. Ah! I went, we're about to lose one of these on stage.
Starting point is 01:03:13 I went with Life because it's set near Sacramento and I'll be there on November 1st at 4.20. And thanks. Can you turn that around? It's blinding us. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:27 Not a problem. Wow, that is very interesting. I can absolutely do that. I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry about that. A gentleman in the audience pointed out that the flashlight on stage was shooting right into people's eyes, but he's sitting way the hell back there.
Starting point is 01:03:42 You're creating a lot of damage with that, I think. I think he was... Actually, you know what? I don't like being talked to like that. Yeah! You don't do that to us. We're busy doing a show.
Starting point is 01:03:56 Does anybody just walk up to the panel on Match Game and say that... Yeah, I thought he was a tech guy working on the microphone. He did look like he came up to ask a question into that mic. And by the way, your irises will naturally narrow, okay? You're a human. You've evolved to the point. Why is Mark on the floor? Yeah, Doug.
Starting point is 01:04:16 Doug, Mark's out. Mark's out. Doug. Uh-oh. Doug. Oh, no, he's down? Yeah, I'm down. I didn't even notice because of this whole flashlight thing.
Starting point is 01:04:28 We're going to take care of this first, and then we'll be with you, Mark. Your hip band matches with your belt. We're good. That's upside down. You don't think it has an off switch, maybe? I don't know. Maybe you could just turn it off, save it. I don't see an off switch. Oh, there it is on the front.
Starting point is 01:04:42 There you go. Oh, wait a minute. Turn it right the fuck off. Yeah, but it's better if it's on. There we go. It's better if it is on the front. There you go. Oh, wait a minute. Turn it right the fuck off. Yeah, but it's better if it's on. There we go. So at least point it at somebody different. We'll move it every few minutes like a sundial. It's off now.
Starting point is 01:04:58 Mark is back in his chair. You going to be all right, buddy? Yeah. I wish I had another flashlight. It's good to be in Cincinnati. He's gone bananas Hey aren't you playing gone bananas soon Yeah that's why I said it Yeah man
Starting point is 01:05:17 Who was on the last turn JP John I failed with L Brody gets to do... Oh, I should have let Brody do an L word after Llewellyn. Do you have an L word? I had one, yeah. The title, yeah?
Starting point is 01:05:32 I was going to say, leaving Las Vegas. If you had said life, you would have matched me, and you already knew that. But, uh... Moving on to John. The final letter. This is your chance to get a match. The final letter. This is your chance to get a match. The letter S.
Starting point is 01:05:48 Aren't I out? Over to JP. He's out too. Shawshank Redemption. Brody wins, everybody. You know what I was going to say? Saturday Night Fever tied back to the Airborne. You got it.
Starting point is 01:06:06 Stay with me. 7 o'clock. Drake Theater. And it's the Shawshank Redemption. I got chromosomal issues. I don't know what's happening here. I went with School of Rock because my friend Amazonal issues. I don't know what's happening here. I went with School of Rock. Yeah, because my friend Jack Black is going to be joining me on Getting Doug with High very soon.
Starting point is 01:06:36 Very soon. Very soon. If you're listening to this, you might be too late. How are we doing on time, you guys? Who cares? I love it. Love that attitude. That Toronto who cares attitude. Wow. Oh my gosh. Was that a June bug?
Starting point is 01:06:56 No, it's a joint bug. You get a lot of credit from your cult members. We'll put that in the prize bag. All right, you guys. We've got to concentrate. We've got 23 minutes. Quick question.
Starting point is 01:07:13 Do you ever smoke stuff that gets thrown at you? What's that? Do you ever smoke stuff that's just thrown at you on stage? Are you worried? Do I ever? Yeah. Do I ever smoke anything that wasn't thrown at me? Or handed to me politely?
Starting point is 01:07:27 He wouldn't need a donut. I get a lot of weed and I smoke all of it, John. You do, huh? Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah, if you think that's safe. When I have a plane to catch, I redistribute it amongst the locals before I leave.
Starting point is 01:07:39 Because I don't fly with it. You're like, Jesus. I do the same. Only way better. I do the same with my donuts. That was my nickname in high school, Better Jesus. Better Jesus.
Starting point is 01:07:52 Sup, BJ? That's not what they meant. Nothing. Bring me your punch. I'll turn it into something good. Yeah. We got to play the Leonard Maltin game It's a must
Starting point is 01:08:06 Brody gets to go first And then we'll switch the order around And head JP's way And Brody gets to pick a category And Mark if you fall off your chair again You're out Yeah so Try to stay upright and Mark, if you fall off your chair again, you're out.
Starting point is 01:08:28 Yeah, so try to stay upright. Can I just ask why I got handicapped? Right off the top. Pretty sure it was your decision to put that on and to eat that other thing and to drink those other things. All your ideas. Carpe diem. JP gets to choose between pie,
Starting point is 01:08:55 that category, of course, is movies that Leonard gave three stars and listed 14 names okay that's the pie category Doug I thought I was that you mentioned
Starting point is 01:09:09 I was supposed to go first but you know that's cool see how easy that is to fix people in the back screaming like it was the holocaust human resources here I think the people in the front were also screaming like it was the Holocaust. Human resources here.
Starting point is 01:09:28 I think the people in the front were also screaming at the Holocaust. Not just the people in the back. Everybody's mad at the Holocaust. Everybody was screaming. That's not totally true. Really? You just gave the Holocaust a stern talking to? No
Starting point is 01:09:46 What? It's intangible At Max P. Wilson Suggested Superbad And that's superhero movies That Leonard gave two stars or less, Brody Then we'll go to JP
Starting point is 01:10:04 Or The Blueberry Johnson category hero movies that Leonard gave two stars or less, Brody. Then we'll go to JP. Or the Blueberry Johnson category, which is you're in this, and this is films that someone in the panel is in. So I can pick the topics? You get to pick, yeah, by having control. It seems like I
Starting point is 01:10:19 can kind of feel which category you're going to gun for. Why not? I'll go for the movies that we're in. All right. Yeah. Pick a movie. One of you is in this movie from the year is 2008. Leonard gave this movie two and a half stars.
Starting point is 01:10:42 He says about this movie that it gets a lot of mileage from the lead actor impersonating another actor. According to Leonard. Interesting description. He says it starts off abysmally and improves as it goes along
Starting point is 01:11:01 but then there's that formulaic, barely credible finale. And then he lists 11, 16 names. 16 names. How many names can you get it in, Brody Stevens? I could probably do it, I know what I'm thinking, I would say three names. Is that not...
Starting point is 01:11:28 That's a bold bid. But now we'll go to JP. See if he can bid lower or ask you to name it. 2008. Three names. I want to hear you name it, Brody. Brody. I want to hear you name it, Brody.
Starting point is 01:11:53 I just want to throw in one more clue, just to make it fair. I'm not absolutely sure one of you is in this. Thanks, Better Jesus. That's the Better Jesus. I don't know. I'm just kidding. I'm pretty sure. I got a good feeling about it.
Starting point is 01:12:18 Your three names, Brody, are Pete Best, Jane Krakowski, and Jonathan Glazer. And these are, you know, lowly billed out of all the names of this movie two and a half stars from Leonard from 2008 my guess
Starting point is 01:12:35 please Tropic Thunder that is incorrect but it is funny you mention a Jack Black movie because he says this gets much of its mileage from Rainn Wilson's amusing Jack Black imitation, and the film is called The Rocker. Who was in The Rocker?
Starting point is 01:12:54 Mark Forward. Mark Forward is in The Rocker. I knew it. Was that 2008? I thought that was... Okay. You weren't in Tropic Thunder? I wish you passed it on.
Starting point is 01:13:04 When did you think it was? You were in it, right? Yeah, I was in it. What year did you think it was? I knew that was the movie because it's the only one I've been in. But what about Brody's many screen appearances?
Starting point is 01:13:19 I just felt it. I thought that was the way to go, too. I wish you passed it on. Tropic Thunder? No, I was going I was gonna, yeah. I wish you passed it on. Drop of Thunder? No, I was gonna go The Rocker. I wish you passed it on. Mark plays the role of Leon in that movie? Yeah. What does Leon do?
Starting point is 01:13:35 Does he get thrown out of the band for passing out during a rehearsal? No. Leon's name is never said for one and I I worked on that movie and I still don't know what Leon's purpose was I was at his office Doug can I tell you why I picked Tropic Thunder please because you said an actor playing an actor right something like that one actor imitating another okay so I was thinking Robert Downey Jr.
Starting point is 01:14:10 playing the black guy as a white guy and then I was in due date with Robert Downey Jr. I get your thinking totally but I didn't think it's kind of like you were in Tropic Thunder totally smart
Starting point is 01:14:24 good reasoning you were in Tropic Thunder. Totally smart. Good reasoning. You were in Due Date? Opening scene. That guy from Tropic Thunder. Cool, cool, cool. Ontario Airport. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:14:44 California. California. Ontario Airport. Oh, man. California. Oh. So, JP is on the board with one point. Hey!
Starting point is 01:14:53 So, you had no choice but to make him name it. And so that means we're going to start with you, John. You get to pick a category and then we're going to head towards JP.
Starting point is 01:15:02 So, Mark, you're up next. Okay. At Tom C. Judd suggested Rush, and that's best picture Oscar winners that are under 100 minutes long. There are actually a few of them. Celebrating a birthday today,
Starting point is 01:15:15 I don't know if you guys are friends with him, I don't know if Kumail Nanjiani's friends with him, but Mark Maron is celebrating a birthday somewhere, somewhere in the world. He's miserable. And so the films of Mark Maron.
Starting point is 01:15:31 He's made some film appearances. And at RJ Maffa, M-O-F-F-A, suggested Best Pitcher, Best Pitcher, and that's Oscar-nominated baseball movies. Yeah. That's for me? Well, I thought it was
Starting point is 01:15:47 a category you'd enjoy, but you don't get to pick the category, and now you've probably given John a reason not to pick that category. But let's see what he does. I don't know, because I do like that category as well. So you can go ahead and take it if you want. But it's either one or three. Oh, Mark
Starting point is 01:16:03 Marin. Poor boy. I don't one or three. Oh, Marc Maron. No, not... Poor boy. I don't know about that. Lock the gates. I'm going to go with... Why an Oscar-nominated baseball film? Let's do Oscar-nominated baseball. Okay.
Starting point is 01:16:21 Yeah. Would you like an Oscar nominated baseball movie from 1984 or 1986? No, wait. Let's call it 88. Let's call both those years 88 or 184, 188
Starting point is 01:16:37 or 186, 88. Let's pick between the two 88s. Oh, both of them are from 88? No, no, no. It's definitely 88 or 84. Never seen somebody use glasses like that in my life. Doug just held his glasses to the phone while staying probably seven feet away. I like that.
Starting point is 01:16:56 So they're both from 88, you said? Yeah, pick one, goddammit. Okay, I'll... What do you mean, pick one? What are you talking... Which year would you like? No, but I don't know the years. 88 or what?
Starting point is 01:17:06 84. Oh, thank you. Pick one, pick one! 88. Oh. You can shorten it. Okay. Three stars from Leonard.
Starting point is 01:17:14 Shorten it? We don't edit shit out of this. But that's a good idea. Edit that part. Okay. Edit the part that you don't edit anything. Three stars from Leonard for this movie that's about baseball, has baseball in it,
Starting point is 01:17:27 and also got one or more Oscar nominations. Leonard calls this movie a bit sluggish at times. Nice. Leonard, well done. But he also says it has some seriously sexy scenes near the end. So that's an interesting way to find out Leonard is a butt man. And then he lists seven... I can't believe I almost said was, like he was dead.
Starting point is 01:18:03 Leonard was a butt man, you guys. That's why I'm going to open the eulogy if I if he goes first. Don't let me talk don't worry about it. Seven names John. Baseball movie, Oscar nominations
Starting point is 01:18:20 sluggish sexy I feel like I can do it I'm feeling sluggish and sexy tonight I think I can do it But I don't know if this was nominated Seven names, huh? You can take them all if you want
Starting point is 01:18:39 I can just go for it if I want 88 You can say zero names But don't announce what you think the title is. The next person gets to go. What was the final? 88 or 84? This one was from 88. Okay.
Starting point is 01:18:53 I did this last time and it fucked me, but I'm going to do it again. I can do it in one name. Okay, he says one name. So I pass it to Mark. What are you going to do with that, Mark? Can you name it? You have to name that movie John Tarr Alright
Starting point is 01:19:08 Your one name I'm going to tell you your one name It's Max Patkin Patkin P-A-T-K-I-N Max Patkin Oh Max, I got it What do you think the movie is? I'm just going to say it and it's probably wrong Patkin, P-A-T-K-I-N, Max Patkin. Oh, Max. Oh, I got it.
Starting point is 01:19:26 What do you think the movie is? Okay, I'm just going to say it, and it's probably wrong because I'm between two, but it's got to be when I say sexy towards the end. Here it is. It is... Oh, fuck. Was it nominated? Okay. I'm worried that it's going to be wrong.
Starting point is 01:19:44 I'm worried that we're not gonna have time to fish bull Durham correct I couldn't do that. It would ruin something. I knew that when you said Max Patkin, I knew it. Did you? He's a clown prince of baseball. Or was. He passed away.
Starting point is 01:20:11 He does all the goofy copies of The First Basement. There's a movie about him, too. I know that was his name, but I know the clown prince. Max Patkin. Does that mean I have to say it? Sexy was a great word. That helped. That sexy is what that movie is.
Starting point is 01:20:23 That movie is sexy. Jockstraps. Arliss guy. Arliss. Fuck that shit. Yeah. Alright, now we're going to start with JP.
Starting point is 01:20:42 And then we're going to go to Brody. So do I just... I never get a turn. I don't understand anything. You just had a turn. You blew it. Oh, okay. You sent it back this way.
Starting point is 01:20:55 We switched the order around. Everybody gets a chance. At Squirrel Whisperer suggested... And is this me or Brody? This is you, JP. But it might be Brody. No, it's you. It's all you. Oh, this is Doug Loves Movies.
Starting point is 01:21:09 It's all you, JP. Welcome, Mark Forward. Say thanks. Thank you. There you go. Squirrelwhispersuggested. Purge Anarchy. Purge Anarchy. Purge Anarchy.
Starting point is 01:21:26 And that's a movie where more than one person has diarrhea. At Party In My Jeans suggested Thanks For The Plug. Thanks For The Plug. And that's movies where someone dies in a bathtub. And for you guys, O Canada. And that's movies shot in Toronto
Starting point is 01:21:52 that are supposed to be New York City. Alright, let's go with O Canada. Yay. This movie was shot here. It was supposed to be in New York. One and a half stars from Leonard. The year... Didn't work out so good.
Starting point is 01:22:13 Oh man, it's the rocker again. The year... The year is 2000. He says about this movie that there's an unrated version that's available. He also about this movie that there's an unrated version that's available. He also calls this movie... He says the lead actor in this movie gives a dynamic performance and that it was followed
Starting point is 01:22:36 by a direct-to-video sequel. Direct-to-video, that's an expression. And then he lists nine names. How many, JP? I don't feel like I got a lot of information here. I'm going to say... I can do it in seven names. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:23:01 I thought you were trying to pull a Sam Levine. I don't think I... Zero names. So he's taken seven out of them there, Brody. What do you think? I don't... Yeah, not enough information. I could probably name it in eight.
Starting point is 01:23:22 We're not looking for what you can actually do. You'd have to bid six to be one lower than JP's bid. You know what? Or you can ask him to name it. Okay, I think I'll do that. What? You want to name it? Why don't you name it? All right.
Starting point is 01:23:42 So he gets the name. JP gets seven out of nine names. I probably should have tried, but... I don't know. I feel I have mixed feelings about it. But is that what we're doing? You can say six, and then Mark would have to name it in six. I wasn't paying attention.
Starting point is 01:24:01 There's no info. You know what? Okay. I can name it in six names. info. You know what? Okay. I can name it in six names. Yeah! You know what? Show him, bro. I can name it in five names! I can name it in four.
Starting point is 01:24:15 Now that sounded like someone named Leon. I have no idea what this is. What? Oh, sorry. Go ahead. I was going to say I can name it in four. I said he sounded like someone named Leon the way he just said that. Yeah, he did. You're absolutely right. He said five, and what do you say, John? I mean, there's no info there.
Starting point is 01:24:33 There's nothing. It's 2000. It's double. That's all you've said. I gotta say... I said one and a half from Leonard's. It's not very good, according to him. Year 2000. Filmed in Toronto. It's supposed to be New York. It's not very good, according to him. Year 2000. Filmed in Toronto. It's supposed to be New York.
Starting point is 01:24:47 That's nothing. Hang on. I also said the lead actor gives a dynamic performance. And I also said did I mention the unrated version? And it was followed by a direct-to-video sequel. Those are great clues.
Starting point is 01:25:06 Doug did a face. I don't know if I can do this. Face time. I think I have to pass that. So it's now to me for five. Yeah, you can go four. You can say three. I know you're just going to send it back to me.
Starting point is 01:25:16 You could say two. There's no way. I don't know. I don't know what JP would do with that. What am I at? I know. Yeah, four. You're going to challenge him.
Starting point is 01:25:25 I said five. He's going to get five out of nine if you say name it. I'm going to send it to you for four? Or for three now? No, you're saying four. You're saying four. Name it in four.
Starting point is 01:25:39 Mr. Dorr, I would like you to hear four actors' names. This is crazy, man. You predicted your own undoing. Here's your four names. Maybe those will help. Oh, I could ask him to name it? I'll give you the four names. Okay. He just asked you to name it. No, I know. It's on you. I understand. Okay.
Starting point is 01:25:57 Please tell me the four names. Where are your glasses? You should have asked me. I don't need them. I only need them for eights and sixes. Does your phone need glasses? Really? That's adorable. What about double? Why is your failing eye so cute?
Starting point is 01:26:15 I don't wear the glasses. My phone does. Matt Ross. I did put my glasses on the phone. I know you did. Genevieve Turner's in this movie. Fantastic. Justin Theroux.
Starting point is 01:26:28 Okay. Mr. Jennifer Aniston. What, what, what? Yeah, okay, sorry. I thought your name was Jennifer Aniston. No, there isn't. No, Jennifer Aniston is not in this. Nor does she go by Mr. Jennifer Aniston. And Chloe Saveny.
Starting point is 01:26:41 Chloe Saveny, yeah. The often naked Chloe Saveny. How many names was that? Three? That's your four names. That's my four? I thought that was three. Quickly again, please.
Starting point is 01:26:50 I'm so sorry. You get four, and Matt Ross does not matter. Okay, yeah. Genevieve Turner, that's a good clue, I think. Oh, man, if Matt Ross was at home listening to this. What? That really hurt Yeah
Starting point is 01:27:05 Sorry Matt Ross He's gonna strap on The tightest headband He can find Play along with the ride Justin Theroux and Chloe Sevigny Sevigny
Starting point is 01:27:15 Dynamic performance We're out of time Okay Straight to DVD Second There's no way This is even it But I'm gonna say
Starting point is 01:27:24 Liar liar I know it's a dumb one any answer that's wrong could be considered a dumb answer so don't feel bad because you know I don't feel bad it seems like they probably did that they probably shot that here
Starting point is 01:27:38 I'm thinking dynamic performance there could have been a sequel I'm unaware of that was unrated you know they go mental with the sequels yeah no rating there could have been a sequel I'm unaware of that was unrated. You know, they go mental with the sequels. Yeah. They just, no rating. He's lying about sexual diseases. 2,000, does that even make sense?
Starting point is 01:27:54 Yeah, it does. Liar, liar. Okay, good answer. It's wrong. The correct answer is American Psycho. Yeah. And I think I just did this movie on the show recently because the word turgid is in the review
Starting point is 01:28:06 And we had a long discussion about turgid before But right on schedule Our winner is J.P. Manu Yay J.P. By default Great job Never had to answer a question
Starting point is 01:28:20 Good for you Defense Let me get all the name tags. There were... I don't want to say losers. Let's just call you donut stompers. And... Can I have yours too there, Brody?
Starting point is 01:28:38 Shit, this is unwieldy. No, I got it. And then... Thanks, John. And then the person who won all this stuff, what's the name again? Jesse Usher. Jesse. You love Jesse.
Starting point is 01:28:55 Can you come try to take all of it? Do you have a team of people that can help you carry away your glorious bounty? Can Jesse have that back? Any items you don't want, just feel free to leave them on the stage. Jesse, if you don't want the pass. But you can have it. You can have it. Are you a Blue Jays fan, Jesse?
Starting point is 01:29:12 Do you want Brody to have that? He wants Brody to have it back, you guys. Thank you. It meant a lot to me. Joey Batts and I have the same beard. I like when that little boy has the girl behind him, the baseball. Thank you for giving it back to me, Jesse.
Starting point is 01:29:26 Thank you, John. Sorry for putting the mic in front of his speaker. Noice. What a pro. Anything, uh... No, don't do it again. Anything to plug John Doerr? I always like to, yeah, go to PearlJam.com.
Starting point is 01:29:44 They got some great stuff going on. Trying to help the independent scene a little bit. Check them out. Go ahead. Mark forward. Still with us. Yeah. Still alive.
Starting point is 01:29:58 Headband and all. When does it come off? Like at the very end or now? No, I'm going to wear it. I have three. To your other shows? I'm going to wear it to my other shows tonight. Finishing off at 11pm?
Starting point is 01:30:10 That's a performer, man. And I'm not going to mention it to the other crowds. You could slip it off while Meatballs is playing. No one would know. Do you know Pete Holmes uses a vaporizer between shows, like a dehumidifier? Oh, a dehumidifier. I thought you were trying to out him as a podcast.
Starting point is 01:30:27 No, sorry. A humidifier between shows. Oh, that's interesting. It is very interesting. Yeah, so you've got to keep your voice annoying if you're Pete Holmes. Yeah! You can just check out my podcast, Mark Forward Podcast. Mark Forward Podcast.
Starting point is 01:30:43 Mark Forward Podcast on iTunes. Brody Stevens likes to podcast. Yeah, I don't do it consistently enough, but... Would you like me to promote something? Yeah, whatever you like. That's the... Yeah, you're right. Even though you have a tight headband on, you realize what's going on right now.
Starting point is 01:31:02 I'm currently on an American television show with David Spade and Nick Swartzen and Chuck Liddell and Turtle from Entourage. What's it called, the show? Fox Sports Fantasy Football Uncensored. I don't know if it's available here, but it's a fun show. We do it all week through the football season
Starting point is 01:31:20 and it's a good time being up there with the guys. Sounds fun. I'd watch that. It's on once a week. I don't give with the guys. Sounds fun. I'd watch that. It's on once a week. I don't give a shit about the game, but I'd watch that. Sounds fun. The game. JP, what's going on, man? Your show is coming back.
Starting point is 01:31:36 Yeah, we're going to start working on season two of Spun Out on CTV next week. You can see episodes from season one if you go to ctv.ca. Maybe they rerun on Comedy Channel right now. Or if you fly Air Canada, we're part of the in-flight entertainment.
Starting point is 01:31:53 Me and Wayne Gretzky watched it. I begged two Australian girls sitting next to me to, like, sample this. Hey, try this out. They're like, thanks. Tried to get them to watch your show on the airport? While I was sitting next to him, and then it got creepy.
Starting point is 01:32:09 I was like, it's this easy. Just hit the button. J.P. Manu, never desperate. I don't think this shithead's going to go over well. One more round of applause for all of my guests, you guys. J.P. Manu, Brody Stevens, Mark Forward, and John Dorn. All right, as always, that guy wearing a bowler hat on the TTC who wouldn't move his bag off the seat next to him
Starting point is 01:32:47 is a shithead. Topical. Topical. Griffin's friend Steve is a shithead. And this is a double, which I don't like permitting, but I think I have to just to... just because of the reaction to this first one. The Toronto Blue Jays are a shithead. Too soon.
Starting point is 01:33:19 But at least this guy picks his battles and my printer for running out of ink. It's a shit head. It's a shit head.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.