Doug Loves Movies - (Rebroadcast) Jon Dore, Brody Stevens, Mark Forward and JP Manoux guest
Episode Date: March 1, 2019This episode from 2014 features our late friend, Brody Stevens. Enjoy it!Live from Toronto's Just For Laughs Festival, Doug welcomes Jon Dore, Brody Stevens, Mark Forward and JP Manoux to the... show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everybody, as a tribute to the late, great Brody Stevens, here's an episode that he was in from Just for Laughs in Toronto on September 28th, 2014 with John Doerr, Mark Forward, and J.P. Benue.
I'm sure it's a very funny episode, and I hope you enjoy it. And as always,
positive energy.
Doug hates candy wrappers,
greedy babies,
sticky seats with 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see. Doug,
Doug,
Doug,
Doug,
Doug,
Doug,
Doug,
Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Who needs applause
Hey, everybody. Hey everybody
My name is Doug
And I love movies
This is the love movies
Oh wow
Nice touch there on the end
Alright
We're coming to you from the queen
This sounds way too highfalutin
for what's about to happen.
We're coming to you from the Queen Elizabeth Theater
as part of the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival
on Saturday, September 27th.
Say it with me, everybody.
2014 Wolf of Wall Street fight. Terminator 2.
Judgement Day of the dead man walking tall.
The president's men in black.
Fisher King.
Ralph.
Damn.
Delight.
Sleep perfect.
Don't get ahead of me.
Murder.
Fight.
Death.
Wish.
Three of me.
Ghost world.
End of watch.
Men don't leaving.
Las Vegas.
Food.
La Jingle.
All the Wayne's World.
Fastest Indiana Jones
in the temple of doomsdays
of thunderbolt and light
foot fist way of the gun
crazy
I can't wait for this year to be over
what have I
done to myself?
Oh, at 420-ish.
Let me see your name tags, Toronto.
I knew they would be plentiful and large.
You are DB?
He's a DB, too.
He's got IMDB.
Is that a Forrest Gump thing over there?
Who is it?
Jason.
In the Forrest Gump poster?
I don't get it.
Hopefully one of our guests will get it.
And they will pick it.
Oh, there's some lit up back there.
I like when people do that with their flashlights.
I also like how all the name tags got here early.
Are there any way in the back?
Did anybody get here super late and not bring a name tag?
Over there.
Those look like little horns of the JFL mascot.
What's his name? Victor?
Is that his name?
What is it?
It is, Victor?
It's weird.
Next Saturday, October 4th,
I'm doing a 420 Douglas Movies
at Comedy On State in Madison, Wisconsin.
Always have a fun time there.
Great guests at Sioux Falls.
I'm coming back to do stand-up
at the Orpheum Theater,
also highfalutin like this place,
on Saturday, October 11th. Let me ask you guys a quick question, to do stand-up at the Orpheum Theatre, also highfalutin like this place,
on Saturday, October 11th.
Let me ask you guys a quick question,
because I'm telling you,
I have so much fun whenever I come to Toronto,
because everyone here is super friendly and nice,
likes to have a good time,
and somebody up close has to have a vapor pan on them.
This young lady over here,
could you bring that over to me?
Can I get a quick hit off of that?
Is it one that works right away or is it one that's a lot of nonsense?
Oh, look at this thing.
Okay.
I think I can make this work.
You got it.
I don't need to tell you.
No go.
Next.
Yup. Thank you I'd pick your name tag
What's your name tag?
Can't believe you have a vapor pen and a name tag
That's really
You're an outstanding person
I've seen that and you tweeted that already
It's the Greg Outdoors
Or OutDoug The Greg OutDoug I've seen that and you tweeted that already It's the Greg outdoors Or outdug
The Greg outdug
And my face is over John Candy's
And his is over Dan Aykroyd's
I'm guessing
Thank you for that
I appreciate it
And that was proof
Front row had a couple of things
But like
Now I'm so fucking high.
As you know...
Wow, Doug took a couple of vapor hits
and totally greened out
on us.
Let's get into the
prize bag, you guys. I'm not gonna
unfurl it, but I brought, and I also just
killed a fly with it backstage.
This is a poster from my friends at the really fun film festival called Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas.
I just came from there, and that was, they gave everybody posters.
And I got a Gateway Doug 2, forced fun.
I've got a thing called Dirty Laundry that I participated in.
I barely
remember even doing it. That's probably my autobiography title. I barely remember even
doing it. The Doug Benson story. A Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. I think this is an XXL, so it'll be fun to sleep in if you're smallish.
Another CD somebody
gave me from
a band called The Dead Side.
It's called Infectious. I don't know if it's any
good or not. Give it a listen
if you win and let me know.
And then also give a listen to
one of my double albums.
Did I do more than one double
album? Probably just the one.
My double album
called Smug Life.
Yeah. Oh, wait, one more thing.
And then all the guests brought something
cool, and they'll all bring those things
out with them when they come out here.
But this, I've got to read
the tag to remember even what it is.
Oh, it's a shiny headband.
But then
the color is mocha.
Shiny
mocha.
So wear that to your Starbucks or
whatever.
See what happens then.
Let's do it, you guys.
Let's get the guests out here.
What do you say?
I am high and ready to laugh
at the shenanigans.
Please welcome
J.P. Manu, Brody Stevens,
Mark Forward, and John Dorn What a game.
Were you there?
It was incredible.
Doug, they're referencing my attire.
Yeah, you dressed for the game today
that was played in a stadium that is adjacent to the Queen Elizabeth. Yeah, you dressed for the game today that was played in a stadium
that is adjacent to the Queen Elizabeth.
Yeah, BMO Field is the home.
One-stop entertainment area right here
in Toronto. Couldn't have been more convenient for me to
come to this show. Yeah.
They were losing 0-2 at the half
and they came back and won it 3-2.
And they had to win
because this is must win games
from here on out if you want to make the playoffs
and it was thrilling
well that's JP Manu everybody
and
I'm thrilled to announce that you're the winner
of the first game today and that of course
is the Pete Holmes game
and you were the
first person to speak
without being spoken to
although one could argue that the audience member is the winner and you were the first person to speak without being spoken to.
Although, one could argue that the audience member is the winner of the game,
the one that shouted out and drew you into that conversation.
I have a feeling this is a game I wasn't supposed to win.
There's no prizes, there's no penalties.
It's just a fun thing to say. It's fun to remind everybody how awful
Pete Holmes is.
I remind people
of the awfulness of Pete Holmes at every opportunity.
JP, what'd you bring for the prize bag, buddy?
I brought a bunch of scripts.
JP has acted in many things.
We were both in, I think, the same episode
of Yes, Dear at one point in our illustrious careers.
So I'm on a show right now with Mr. Dave Foley
of Kids and Hall and News Radio fame.
I don't think anybody here has heard of that guy.
Canadian national treasure, Dave Foley.
And the show's called Spun Out.
I got a few scripts of Spun Out.
Wouldn't it be funny if there was a Canadian version
of National Treasure
where Dave Foley was being protected by
Nicolas Cage?
Continue.
But just in case
you guys haven't had a chance to check it out
on CTV yet, I did also bring
a script of a movie
that Leonard Maltin has
not bothered to review.
He's a lazy piece of shit.
Atlas Shrugged, part two.
Which stars J.P. Manu in the role of Conductor.
For reals, you're in Atlas Shrugged 2?
Part two, yeah.
Despite my politics.
I totally agreed to take that shitty paycheck.
And 8x10 of the cast of Phil of the Future.
And very, very collectible 8x10 of the Fruit of the Loom guys.
Your humble green grapes.
How long ago did the Fruit of the Loom guys thing stop, and how did you find out?
Were you watching a commercial and it saw a totally new campaign?
Kind of.
Or just guys with big dicks or whatever?
I was the green grapes for seven years, and then I started working up here in Toronto,
and it conflicted just enough to coincide with how little they wanted to pay me that I said, I'm done.
Oh, so there was some new grapes?
There were some new grapes.
For two years after I quit, Richard Horvitz, who's the voice of, like, Invader Zim,
he took over the Green Grapes costume.
But both of us had to share the Green Grapes costume with the Spanish language cast of Fruit of the Loom.
And they're not as good about the freezing.
When are you writing the book?
This is good.
Can I use this as the book on tape right now?
This is my audio recording.
It's great.
John Doerr is here, you guys.
Also a return visitor to the program.
I should say quickly that J.P. Manu
was in one of the best episodes
no one ever heard that we did in Toronto
with Sean Cullen was there
and another guy.
Let's not mention his name.
Thank you.
Jerry was so great on that episode
that he's never been on again.
I plan to keep it that way.
But it was
also a lost episode, so I kind of feel like
people need to hear what he was
like, and then I realized, no, they
don't.
But do you remember that?
Those who were at the Rivoli that night will never forget
it. It was a special night.
Yeah.
Will you ever release it?
No, it got destroyed in a fire.
It was like when you think you're shooting video
and you're actually stopping every time you think you're recording
and then you're recording when you think you're stopping.
That's kind of what happened.
They had a power surge and immediately when the show started,
they didn't get any of it,
and then they didn't think to,
well, why don't we stop the show?
They were like, well, you had already started.
What were we supposed to do?
And I said, you're supposed to record the show.
So that's as far as the argument went
because, you know, I behave like a Canadian when I'm here.
Yeah.
You let things go.
Was that the recordist's name?
Was he a French guy, Power Surge?
Was that the problem?
I was going to say the same thing.
He didn't speak the language, did he?
It's so weird, though, that right there in his name,
you think that he would really be on the lookout
for a Power Surge.
Yeah.
Really recognize it when it happens.
That's how he got his nickname.
Oh, good old power surge. You didn't know it was sarcasm. Oh, good old
power surge will help you do it.
I thought about that, saying that.
Did you really?
Yeah, I was like, oh, Sergio Garcia
because the whole Ryder Cup is going on
right now, so it just came to my mind, but I'm
glad you jumped in there.
John Doerr.
Thank you, Brody.
You're welcome. I'm happy.
Imagine his name was Power Surge.
Power Sergio.
Yeah.
Well, let's just introduce him since he...
Since we're talking to him anyway.
On the hat side of the stage,
it's Brody Stevens, everybody.
Thank you.
I really enjoy Toronto.
Every time I come back,
it gets better and better.
And better.
And better.
It gets shittier and shittier.
I live here.
Oh, it does?
Yeah.
These people probably left yesterday
to get to this theater.
Oh, this is far away from stuff?
No, every road around here
is closed.
Every one of them.
It's a soccer game.
Oh, they have to drive very far to get here.
That was a good...
Thanks, man. Topical.
Good reasoning.
But, yeah, there's
a lot of...
That's all the driver wanted to talk about
when I was getting a ride in from the airport,
was how bad the traffic's gotten. And he kept
trying to get me to say whether it was
worse in L.A. or Toronto.
And I was like, well, this traffic I'm sitting
in right now is
typical of L.A.
And he was like,
so Toronto's worse than LA.
Like it was
weirdly important to him to win.
And I didn't want him to win.
Because LA is horrible.
At least Toronto, and correct me if I'm wrong,
you can sort of live in the middle of it
and then not have to drive everywhere,
just walk over, right?
It's a very pedestrian city.
Very pedestrian friendly, yeah.
That's like complaining about traffic in Manhattan
or Philadelphia or something.
It's like, well, it's fucking walk.
What are you...
Get in a cab.
Take the subway.
But he was also trying to win
at being the worst at something.
He says, what's worse?
Are we worse? And he wanted you to say yes so we could win at being the worst at something. He says, what's worse? Are we worse? And he wanted
you to say yes so we could win at being the worst.
That's weird.
We're the best at being bad at something.
I just think he did not want to take
any responsibility for the traffic, nor did I
want him to. What's his fucking name?
I want to find this guy.
I don't like the sound of him.
You know, it's so silly of me because I should
do this. I should write down the name of every driver.
Because these things, they do come up later,
where somebody's like, what was his name?
But let me quickly introduce one more guest,
and then we'll find out what all your prizes are.
Our fourth and the only first-time guest on the panel,
and I'm very excited to have him.
We've been having fun backstage.
Mark Ford is here, everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's nice to be here.
We've known each other for 10, 15 minutes,
and I think it's going great. There was a fly downstairs. We've known each other for 10, 15 minutes. And, um...
I think it's going great.
There was a fly downstairs.
This is the best thing I've ever seen.
Doug locked himself in the room with it,
with a giant poster.
And he fought it for 10 minutes.
I wasn't going to leave that room until that fly
was dead or the show had to begin.
It was a genuine
holocaust. It was.
It really was.
Anyway. There's no more
flies down there.
That's a great segue out of holocaust.
Anyway.
60 million, whatever.
Yeah, anyway.
Well, it wasn't the only Holocaust.
The fly Holocaust?
There have been.
Pretty much everyone in this room
has probably had a personal Holocaust
at some point, you know,
like sitting between, like in the middle seat
with two fat guys with BO
on a long flight.
Or being the only Jewish
guy up here. You could say to yourself...
Anyway.
Anyway. That was a good guess.
That was a good guess, because
we don't know each other very well either.
10 to 15
minutes. You took a shot, and you went for it.
Where can we get your album, Mark, forward thinking?
Because if you haven't done that yet, I congratulate you.
I haven't.
Thank you for the congratulations.
What's the...
Your name is not unlike Power Surge.
No? It sounds like an act... Your name said together unlike Power Surge. No?
It sounds like an act...
Your name said together sounds like an activity
or something you're supposed to do.
Yeah.
It's time to mark forward, everybody.
I say that in the mirror every morning.
Let's mark forward to victory.
I wake up and look in the mirror and go,
let's mark forward it today.
You know what?
I hate to do this to the winner of the prize bag,
the eventual winner,
but can I just give you this shiny headband?
Yeah.
Because I think you'd like it.
Sure, I'd love it.
I think you'd like to own it.
Thank you.
What's that?
Can I take the tag off?
You're committing to it if you take the tag off.
We cannot return it.
I don't know.
Oh, my God. you just took it off.
Olivia Newton-John.
Can I just say,
Olivia Newton-John.
Can I just say,
I have some more shows tonight
and I'm not going to take this off for them.
Yes!
So if you see me later tonight,
you'll be the only one person laughing.
It doesn't really look like a headband.
It seems kind of tight.
It looks like a giant head.
No, but I mean,
is it going to cut off
circulation to your brain?
I'll be alright.
For someone with a big head, it doesn't draw attention to it.
Don't worry, it's fine.
You see the guy with the lasso on his forehead?
Oh, my God.
Well, you got away, didn't you?
I did. I got away.
I tried to lasso you off.
I have lasso scissors in my back pocket at all times.
So your opening joke is,
everyone so got away from the rodeo today.
Good to be here.
You don't talk like that. Yeah, be here. You don't talk like that.
Yeah, I know.
You don't talk like that.
That's a bad impression.
That didn't sound anything like me.
Hey, guys.
Okay.
Who do you think you are?
Nanjani and Marin?
It's fun to make references
that my whole panel's like,
what does that mean?
But John Doerr brought what he thinks.
This is kind of a sidebar competition today.
He thinks this is one of the best,
if not the best,
gifts ever brought for the prize bag.
Well, hold on.
I did say...
You were hoping to be the best gift ever.
I asked you what the greatest gift was ever brought.
I couldn't even think of what it was.
You couldn't think of what it was? You couldn't think of what it was?
I couldn't think of what the greatest one was,
because people bring so many amazing things.
They do.
Now, we've already lost the headband from the bag,
so this better be good.
Which was $49, apparently.
What?
Yeah, $49.
No, it's not.
Made in downtown L.A.
Can I verify?
It must have come with something else attached to it.
Brody would like to verify.
Like $48.
Yeah, I see a 49.
Thank you.
Why was I not trusted?
Is that $49?
I'll tell you why, because that's a headband.
I'm the one wearing the headband.
It feels like a $49 headband.
Did you shoplift that?
You didn't buy that.
Well, I can tell you this right now.
Somebody gave it to me in my travels.
It might have been a spastic
bag checker at the airport.
I don't know how that got into my possession.
I have no idea.
Great, and now it's on my head.
Spastic bag checker.
I like that. Sounds good.
Have you seen spastic bag checker? SBC that. Sounds good. Have you seen spastic bag checker?
SPC? You know me.
I brought...
My gift, by the way, is...
Let's talk about your gift.
Let's talk about your gift, which is comedy.
That might be a $49 headband.
This is an $80 gift.
Okay, so,
just in terms of dollar value, there's been a more expensive
prize on the show.
But this still might be the best one.
Motherfucker, I was going to...
We did give away a cabin on the Weezer cruise.
Oh, well, that's the best gift.
That was a pretty good prize.
Okay, well, I can't beat that.
I'm sorry I didn't think of it earlier in the dressing room.
I could have saved you all this anguish.
But what is this shitty $80 thing?
People listening are going to think something just happened.
He's just sitting there looking at me.
So subtle. I think your listeners are smart enough, you know?
I don't know. They're probably thinking JP
whipped out a little mime bit over there.
Oh, there he goes.
I'm starting to worry about Mark's forehead.
Don't. No, it's turning purple and the
forehead meat is spilling over the top.
The forehead
meat. Yeah.
Did the spastic bag checker have much forehead meat, by the way?
Mark's got muffin head.
Muffin top head.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Really funny.
I was going to buy a TV.
And I thought, that's insane.
Well, you bought this item?
I bought it.
Holy shit, this is the best prize ever.
The Weezer didn't cost them anything to give us a cabin.
Well, fuck them.
This is the best gift, then.
And it's not for everyone, that's for sure.
But I thought about it,
and I got a remote-controlled Ferrari Enzo.
Ferrari Enzo.
And you also have the receipt, which is very thoughtful.
I have the receipt right here.
It's not polite to leave the price tag on.
That's why I did. It's $80.
It's right there.
Yeah, Doug. It's not polite.
So I'm just going to put that there For everyone to look at
$80
That's definitely a better value
You can return it and buy all the fucking books you want
Oh trade it in for books
I like that
You could trade it in for one and a half headbands
To make an even bigger headband
Yeah get one that'll fit you
after you staple it together.
You can...
What?
Why?
Why are you shitting on the size of my headband?
It was a gift.
I didn't try on headbands
and pick this one.
Well, you should take the tag off.
You could have taken it back.
Ah, damn it.
I'm not going to fly to L.A. to return this.
Plus, you don't even know what other magical colors might be available.
Well, if you had to guess what color it was.
Right now?
I've forgotten.
I'll tell you what it is.
It's a mocha.
It says right here, mocha. You're wearing a mocha. It says right here, mocha.
You're wearing a mocha.
It's like chocolate.
It is.
You're right.
Good job.
We covered that already.
It's like mocha.
There's no trust on this stage.
No one can just believe what they hear.
Let's trust people from now on.
Let's do it.
Go.
Mark Forward.
Yes, friend.
What did you bring for the prize bag?
Oh I brought a lovely
A great Canadian artist
Made this sculpture
Of a
It's of a
Lamb sitting on a lion
Sitting on a fish sitting on a turtle
That's beautiful That's beautiful What's that the turtle, sitting on a fish, sitting on a turtle. That's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
What's that the turtle's sitting on?
The turtle's sitting on like an algae or something?
Avocado.
Why is the fish so big?
It's bigger than the lion.
It really is.
I've never seen a fish that big before in my life.
It's a large fish.
You know what I would do with that if I owned that?
I would get an aquarium that's just a little shyer in size than it,
and I'd fill it up with water, and I'd put it in,
and I'd make it look like the turtle and the fish and the lion got together
to save the lamb from drowning.
That's beautiful.
That's a beautiful story.
And that's funny, because it was called Save the Lamb
by the artist David Baxter.
I think that was just the lion talking.
Save the lamb for dinner.
Looks like a kebab.
What an exotic kebab
you're serving at this party.
There you go. You'll have hours more fun.
So that's going in the prize bag.
The bottom line is you're going to have to carry a lot of crap out of here.
If you win tonight,
it's a lot of heavy stuff, and we only brought
very light
bags to carry it around in.
So good luck, everybody.
And
I don't even know what time
it is, and I don't even
care.
This is so much fun, you guys.
Thanks.
Have you been to the cinema lately, Manu I know you probably went to see
some things at the
Toronto
Toronto Film Festival
I didn't I didn't actually get to see
alright nice talking to you Brody Stevens
yes
thank you
have you been to the movies not in a while Cody Stevens. Yes. Thank you.
Have you been to the movies?
Not in a while.
Okay, Mark Forward.
This is getting us back on track.
We're really saving time with this segment.
I saw the last... Oh, God, the last one I saw, Lord of the Rings.
Okay, it's nice.
It was great.
Nice to hear about that.
I hope they make more.
And John Doerr, have you been to the cinema?
Has Doerr gone to the Bloor?
No, but I watched Godfather 3 on television,
and I sent out an Instagram
because I just got on Instagram
and I didn't know that everyone could access it.
And I sent a picture of my living rooms
with the caption,
arguably the greatest of the trilogy.
And it was a picture from Godfather 3.
And then some guy I didn't know
sent a message back saying,
I thought you're supposed to live in a nice house and shit.
That motherfucker.
I like and shit.
When you're typing it out, it's weird to add that.
It's as a vocal thing, I understand it.
It's a mannerism, yeah. I'm going to show it to you a vocal thing, I understand it. It's such a conversational thing.
I'm going to show it to you, too.
You're going to show us your shitty house?
Yeah, I am going to show you my shitty house.
Yeah, I suffer for my art.
But he did do that.
People can find a way to attack anything you put on the Twitter or wherever.
Say I wrote, arguably,
the Godfather III, arguably the greatest film of the trilogy.
Excuse me, sir. Oh, no, sorry, greatest film of the trilogy. Excuse me, sir.
Oh, no, sorry, this is what he wrote. Excuse me, sir,
but why isn't your house fancy and shit?
Second one down.
I get the and shit more now
because it's following fancy.
What?
It wasn't like he was really ripping on your house
the way it is. He was just surprised it wasn't
more elegant. Yeah, why don't you have more opulent things?
Spective candles.
Exactly.
Probably because you don't want your eye to be distracted by opulence
when you're trying to watch arguably the greatest in the trilogy.
Yeah.
Of the Godfather films.
Like I said, arguably.
Isn't Sofia Coppola in that?
Yeah, she is.
She dies at the end.
She gets shot on the steps at the opera house that's very satisfying when that happens
yes I've often been shot
leaving the opera I like it
I like dudes that love their daughters but man is she
awful in that movie like
no one stopped that from happening
for her being that awful for an entire movie
see what I said arguably
the greatest film this is what I love about it
it always starts a good conversation.
Yeah. We should do an interruption
of that sometime. It was supposed to be Winona
Ryder, though, wasn't it? Yeah, Godfather 3 would be great.
It was supposed to be Winona Ryder, and then, like, she
had an emotional breakdown or something
and she couldn't do it. Winona?
Yeah. She's shoplifting.
I think she ran off with Dracula.
But we got lost
in translation.
Yeah, no, I'd say she went on to be a filmmaker whose work I enjoy,
and his work has a lot of good acting in it.
Like, she knows good acting when she sees it.
Yeah, Doug's not saying her whole career is shit.
Just didn't like her in Godfather 3.
Brody, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I love you a lot.
No, I don't mind.
We went for a nice walk today, remember?
Yeah, you're a good guy.
To be honest with you,
she, of course,
was the baby
in the first Godfather.
She was great in that.
And no, she...
That's the only
flaw of that movie.
She fucking...
The scene she's in,
go look at him again.
That is the...
That baby does not know
how to react.
Doesn't know what it's doing?
Doesn't know how to act
like a baby at all.
I don't know what...
Oh, no.
Granted, her listening shots
were terrible.
Yeah, but... Yeah. Shut up't know what it's doing. Oh, no. Granted, her listening shots were terrible. Yeah, but...
Yeah.
Shut up and listen.
Stupid baby actor, yeah.
Yeah.
Not very good.
Well, now's a good time to say
let the games begin!
Take control, Toronto, of your soccer hooligans.
The fucking people leaving that soccer game
just walk across the street without even looking.
We almost ran over, like, 20 of them.
Yeah, and they had children in hand, too.
Yeah.
Like, they were adults.
They were walking their children into danger.
They've got, like, they're walking around with soccer fever.
Like, those people, they were as dazed
looking as someone
who's wearing too tight
of a headband
for about 30 minutes.
Give or take 10 minutes.
So the audience
brought name tags.
You were talking about me.
At this point,
John and I are jealous
that we don't have
something tight on our heads.
Our heads are just out there, free-falling.
Am I supposed to mention my gift or is that...
Oh, yes!
Everyone ignores the Jew.
I think we just had to create a new award
and that's going to be the person who speaks last
and the softest is going to get the Brody Stevens
award. Yeah.
My voice is a little raw.
So you want me to explain what this is?
It's around your neck so take it off
and tell us about it. Oh I'll take it off. Okay.
I enjoy baseball
and stadiums
and I
wanted to go down to the... I like it in bathtubs.
Yeah.
I wanted to go down to the Sky D like it in bathtubs. Yeah. I wanted to go down to the Sky Dome.
I refused to call Rogers Center.
Wow, they love that it's called Rogers Center.
I want Rogers...
You're going nuts as soon as you said Rogers Center.
Rogers, it's on my phone.
Stay off it.
So is Rogers essentially the AT&T of here? Because we hate
AT&T.
Well, I love AT&T.
Sorry, guys.
Didn't mean to ruin any endorsements you have
working.
Someday.
So I
finagled a field pass. I went down
there. All I wanted to do
was see Jose Bautista.
Joey Bats.
That's all I wanted to do because I met him before.
And then I went down there.
I got a pass.
I went down there on the field.
I felt the AstroTurf.
It was great.
I thought about all the World Series championships and the Argonauts and Bruce McNall.
championships and the argonauts and bruce mcnaul and uh you know i met wayne gretzky in the airport the other day coming here at pearson so i just keep the sports theme going this is my pass my
field pass you can't use it but i'm gonna donate it and it means a lot to me because it has if they
just let their facial hair grow put on a a pair of sunglasses, and walk in and say, Positive energy. Don't you think they could get in?
You got it. You'll be in the dugout.
So I like this pass. It's colorful.
So it does mean something to me, and that means that I'll donate it to the show.
To the victor. To the victor.
Gets my pass, says Steven Brody Stevens.
I hope whoever wins today gives it back to you.
That would be a very touching moment.
Just go ahead and throw it there with those really great gifts.
Toronto loves sports.
Wait, it was good hanging there, but...
Oh, you wanted to hang it there?
I was going to put it with the other gifts. I couldn't see it because you wanted to hang there? I was going to put it with the other gifts.
I couldn't see it because it was hanging behind the...
I was going to put it with the other gifts there.
Okay, that fancy $80 vehicle.
But I can put it anywhere you want, Brody.
I only played this theater last night.
I know all the angles.
And sight lines.
It'd be funny if you put that up, but that's okay.
Okay.
All right, wait, Let me contribute to this.
Did you really meet Wayne Gretzky at the airport?
Yeah, LAX and Pearson.
Did you talk to Wayne Gretzky?
Yes, I did.
Holy fuck.
What did you say to Wayne Gretzky?
I said, excuse me, I need to get to the kiosk.
I like it.
True story.
The Gretzky-osk.
Yeah.
I like it.
True story.
The Gretzky-os.
Yeah.
And then I did talk to him at the baggage claim here,
and he was a nice guy.
Nice.
What did you talk to him about?
I said I was in due date.
And I met you at the Roosevelt,
and that's all.
I was just goofing.
He was a nice guy.
He's in due date?
No, he went to the premiere.
I spoke to him in Hollywood.
I remember I had a conversation with him.
It was real quick.
But just brought that up.
And he was a nice guy.
He was cool.
Wayne Gretzky had a hat on.
What else?
He had a leather jacket.
What kind of hat was it?
He had like a Gretzky Kids Club, something like that.
He had a Gretzky camp hat on.
He was wearing his own name on his head.
Yes, he was. I know it's for the kids club, but I feel weird wearing that.
It was a small font.
You had to look close.
I give it to him.
I give it to him.
And he's leaned out a bit.
He's wearing a leather jacket in summer.
Is he making a comeback?
No, he just...
Is he going to play again or no?
No.
That'd be great if he told you he was going to play again
and you talked him out of it.
He just said,
you don't have the right energy for that.
Energy, yes.
818 till I die.
Where's your protection?
Where's Marty McSorley when you need him?
One third sports fans here.
Okay.
Oh, my ankles are tingling.
That'll happen.
That'll happen We have like EMTs on standby right?
Yeah we got
No we don't have any EMTs
You put this on my fat head
And you don't have EMTs
Are you also transforming
Into some sort of character?
I'm transforming into some sort of character?
I'm transforming into Headband Man!
Headband Man.
The headband is sweating.
Oh, man.
Ha ha, guys.
I'm terrible at this game. I think we're supposed to pick name tags still.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So go grab the name tag you want to play for
and bring it back to your seat.
Don't read the shithead on the back out loud
if there is a shithead on the back.
If there isn't a shithead on the back,
the person who made that name tag is a shithead.
And while they do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
Those are real donuts?
Yeah, because I'm a fat fuck.
We've learned that.
We should open the donuts.
I saw other better ones,
but this one was donuts.
And it actually has your name on it.
Yeah, but I think she wrote that after.
Let's be honest.
What do you mean, after what?
That's a great one.
This one's really good.
That's a sports thing.
Breakfast at Griffin E's. Doug. That's a sports theme. Breakfast at Griffinies.
Doug Benson plays that darling, darling.
Holly, go lightly to a new high in entertainment delight.
And they even look at, look at, they got a light on them.
Hang on a second.
We're back.
Oh.
What's your name tag?
It's a poster, a spoof of Breakfast at Tiffany's,
but it says Breakfast at Griffinys.
It looks more impressive
than your description.
Well,
for a podcast.
I'm going to return this and get another one.
Is that okay?
I have to go with this one?
Okay.
This one's great.
This one even came with its own marquee light underneath it.
Yeah, so usually people will have to point their phones at their name tags
or bring a flashlight or even a fleshlight.
They'll just wave a fleshlight at it.
And all the glorious light that comes from a woman's vagina shines on the coaster.
Is the theater usually, like, outside,
littered afterwards with angry name tags?
No, they're reusable and recyclable.
You can take it home with you and then bring it back the next time.
I think I would destroy mine viciously and angrily.
I spent time on this.
Who are you playing for, Mark?
I'm playing for Angela in the outfield.
I like it.
She gave me six large
busting donuts.
And it had my name on it.
Well, whip one out of there and take a bite.
Let us tell us how you like it.
Yeah, I should make this headband tighter.
I just read the back
there's a note on the back of this
I will not say it
that's for at the end
look at that donut
that's more like a big piece of cake
it's round
those are donuts by the way
I know it says for the rest of them
headband character.
Headband man's getting scary.
He takes one bite.
She's like, it says Doug and friends.
Don't get out of control.
She assumed the fat guy with the thin
headband
is also an asshole.
Do not mark forward
with those donuts.
I don't want one.
No offense. Mark forward with those donuts. I don't want one.
No offense.
Because at the end if you lose, we'll say it.
I'm okay. I have a 7 o'clock show.
I will take one of those.
Thank you.
JP's enjoying it.
It just looks sexual.
That doesn't look banana.
Okay. Is this Tim Hortons?
There we go. No, I'm good, thanks.
Oh, good lord. But those do look awesome.
Thank you for bringing those. How old are these? When did you make that?
Were these bought today?
Well, they made the box.
They wrote on it. Yeah, they wrote on the box.
But did you buy these donuts today?
Yeah. Thank you.
That's all I ask. Thank you very much.
Let us know,
Quality Control.
They're quite good.
I would laugh
if she brought day-old ones.
I'd be fine
with day-old as well.
All right.
That's all I wanted to know
the last two days.
Go ahead.
Give it a,
oh, wow,
I took a big-ass bite.
Wow.
A lot of it in the beard.
These are terrible.
I don't like that at all.
I thought I was getting
a banana one. That was under the banana row and it was beard. These are terrible. I don't like that at all. I thought I was getting a banana one.
That was under the banana row, and it was not.
That was apple.
It doesn't look like apple or banana.
It doesn't taste...
It's shit.
And I know someone put a lot of work into it,
so it is shit.
Mine's really good.
No, mine wasn't.
What did you get?
John, can you not?
Mark, you just...
Are you kidding me?
What?
You just stepped on the donuts.
Right on the donuts, Mark.
Mark, go ahead, Batman.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I didn't...
No.
It's okay, because you know what?
Yeah, this one's worth more now.
I am so sorry, Angela.
No, no, he only...
Mark only stepped on one.
It's so awful.
I can't believe you stepped on the pancake.
This is still edible.
Lego.
Oh!
Yeah!
There's shoe markings on it.
His shoe didn't touch it, just the top of the box.
No, there's some shoe in that.
Who knows where the top of the box has been though
yeah that's the first thing I lick when I bring a box of donuts home do you do
that on purpose you want those what's that what's your name Don I don't know
did you do that on purpose step on her dreams I don't think he's accountable
for his actions right now did you do that
oh man
I would hate to be in a play with you
hey are you really a phantom
no this isn't an opera.
What's your name again,
the lady donut lady?
Angela.
Sorry, Angela.
Angela in the outfield.
Oh, yeah, Angela in the outfield.
Not a fan.
Not a fan.
I want to thank Angela.
Mine's like an apple pie.
It's delicious.
JP likes it.
They're a bit off.
Plus, she didn't make them anyway. I tried a bite of two of themaked. JP likes it. They're a bit off. Plus, she didn't make them anyway.
I tried a bite of two of them,
and they're not good.
What's one worse than the other, though,
by a little bit?
I don't know.
I'm feeling sick,
but I don't know if it's the headband or the donut.
This is a donut.
You've had a lot today.
I've had a lot.
You've had some beer,
you have the headband on.
Can I go get a beer, by the way?
I smoked some weed for you.
Please do, yes.
But I'm allowed to, or I don't want to ruin it.
No, please.
Or somebody might want to help you, but, you know, we can get you a beer.
Shane, can you, the mic, you don't need to monitor the levels.
Everything's fine.
Can you go get me two beers?
One for Mark, one for me.
Please.
You're not moving?
Oh, could you open them also?
Because there's no bottle opener down there.
Oh, he's listening to something else?
He might be. He's not responding to me at all.
He's got that new U2 album on.
Hey!
Can you please grab me two creamer from the...
Frit?
No, it's just gone.
Oh, there he is.
Thanks, Shane.
Okay.
Zane.
It's never good when somebody has to take headphones off like this.
Yeah.
Never good.
That's always like a surveillance situation in a movie.
It's gonna rhyme.
Yeah.
God.
The plan.
God, fuck it.
We lost contact.
He's sitting out here all night.
You should have kept him on the phone longer.
Brody. Yes. who are you playing for?
I am playing for
10 seconds, the pain begins.
15 seconds, you can't breathe.
20 seconds, you explode.
Seaners, yes!
I guess I'm playing for Sean.
Yeah, you really sold that.
Yeah.
Is that not what I was supposed to do?
No, it was good.
Well, Sean, thank you, and...
Good luck.
We're gonna do it.
Oh, I mean, Brody's gonna win.
No?
Yeah.
Positive push, let's go.
I fixed my phone, so the answer...
Hey!
Oh, shit.
There's some beers for you guys.
And some hugs.
Now get the fuck
out of here.
Thank you.
Genuinely thank you.
I rigged the game
so that the answer is always due date.
So
congratulations, Sean.
But who are you playing for, JP?
Just for the hell of it? Jesse Usher.
And his is a wonderful twist on the Jumanji poster.
It's Jumanji.
That's a wonderful twist?
Jumanji.
I think I got roadies.
Sitting right next to this.
Why are you...
You don't have to hold it.
Too mungy.
Is that a Holocaust movie?
An adventure for those who seek to find a way to leave their world behind.
That might have been the actual tagline for the movie, though, right?
You're absolutely right, audience.
Oh, you are so...
The audience was right on.
Did Schindler have a to-do list?
Did you also bring a Ouiju board?
They can find you ghosts!
Don't look at me!
I really don't...
I need you to not pass out on me, Mark,
because...
I don't think I can make it.
We've got a very important game to play.
I don't think I'm gonna make it.
Although your head crashing into a stool
with beers and donuts on it
would be pretty hilarious.
I'm gonna go straight for my statue
and get a lamb through the skull.
Oh, no.
That thing would be the best murder weapon.
Murder.
It's like the Bizarro Chinese Zodiac.
It was in the billiard room with the lamb, lion, fish, turtle statue.
It looks like those balanced rocks on Bloor in front of the Starbucks.
Am I right, guys?
I took a photo without tipping.
Local reference.
Yeah.
I'm going to have to go check that out it's there I just can't believe you guys picked name tags but that didn't have food that's ridiculous
oh here's a post though there's lots of food out there there's often gifts
very large posters and what happens to them now? JP and Brody
both picked wallet size.
I don't know what compels
people to pick certain things.
I got half of Mark's.
I may have just given myself Canadian diabetes.
I couldn't fit a box
into my fanny pack.
I love that. Your disappointment in their reaction
Got a big laugh
They appreciate it
That's what a great crowd this is
They're going to get their laughs in somewhere
A lot of laughs are coming as a result of facial gestures
Yeah, good podcast
I did a facial gesture.
Facial gesture.
Should we say that now?
You're pointing something out with your face?
Yeah, like this.
It's that way. Facial gesture.
That's the politest way to gesture.
Pointing's rude.
Just do it with your face. Exactly.
Don't point. Do you guys play a game on this podcast?
Last time we played this
I almost won
But I said meet the Fockers
Instead of meet the parents
Oh, that's a crucial mistake you made there
It was crucial
Because it was the wrong movie
But I was in the right family
Doug, go ahead It was crucial because it was the wrong movie, but I was in the right family.
Doug, go ahead.
Trying to give some history and context.
I love it.
Good.
Let's play the game.
If you want.
We're going to start with something that I like to call ABC These Nuts.
It's a spelling game, you guys.
We'll start with JP and work our way across.
Spelled correctly already.
M-A-N-O-U-X
Ding!
We're going to spell, because we're interrupting it later tonight, some of us on this stage,
we're going to, here in Toronto, as part of Just for Laughs, we're going to interrupt the classic meatballs.
Not because, yeah, go ahead, applaud for meatballs.
Not just because, I mean, I'm not really necessarily want to make fun of it.
I'm just excited to see it on a big screen like I did when it first came out and Bill Murray emerged as a huge star as a result of it.
Yeah.
So, JP, we're going to start with you with the letter M.
And you just have to name any movie that begins with the letter M.
And if it matches the one that I've written down ahead of time, you win automatically.
But if you can't think of one, and this has happened, you guys.
Not just on the letter X.
Lots of letters, people blank.
And so if you can't think of one, you're out.
JP, M. M. People blank. And so if you can't think of one, you're out. JP.
M.
Mean Girls.
Oh.
I just saw on TV
that Lindsay Lohan
has been sending emails to Tina Fey.
Those are going
in the trash.
Telling her she has a great idea
for Mean Girls 3
and that she should reach out
and that she's going to continue to bother her
until she actually writes it.
Tina Fey is in her own Holocaust.
She is in a Lindsay Lohan Holocaust
because there's no way
she's going to write that movie for her.
I don't think.
I think it's a smart move, honestly.
Did they make Mean Girls 2?
You know what her great idea is?
They're all older and now they're housewives.
Oh, yeah, okay.
I like it.
That's what would have happened to those characters.
Ugh.
People got upset.
They liked the idea I went with
Really you guys want to see Mean Girls 3?
Or 2 I guess right?
Why did I jump to 3?
You said 3 and that's why I asked
Did they even make 2?
Yeah they did
Lindsay Lohan wasn't in it
And it took place at a summer camp
Oh
And then what
No I meant two
You did mean two
I just
They haven't made Mean Girls 2 already
I know why did you say 3
But it's funnier that Lindsay Lohan wants to make
Mean Girls 3 and not 2 that's great
That's the most creative thing
She's ever come up with.
I wish that was...
There was a 2 we have of the young lady.
Oh, there was a 2, was there?
Who was in that?
Oh, okay.
She's like, I don't know anything about it,
but I can verify that it happened.
Get out.
Oh, it's a TV movie.
Oh.
It says Meredith Baxter-Burning.
Boom, points.
I gotta watch that.
I said an M word.
I didn't go with Mean Girls.
I went with Midnight Express.
Good movie.
Yes, because I'm going to be on At Midnight
on Monday, September 29th.
Now available in Canada on Much Music
at midnight.
What show?
Brody, you have the letter E.
Not even in...
I would just like to say
that the M,
I did think Midnight Express.
I work at midnight.
I'll see Doug there on Monday.
I'm excited about that.
You didn't realize I work there.
I help out.
I push the energy.
Okay.
E-X-Caliber.
Okay.
I went with the escape from Alcatraz
because I'm going to be in San Francisco
at Cobb's
on October 30th.
We're going to Douglas Movies there.
A is your letter, Mark.
Oh, shit.
I can't imagine how hard this would be
with a super tight headband on. I know, I can't imagine how hard this would be with a super tight headband.
I know, I can't even function properly.
I think I just wet myself.
Please don't.
I can't help it.
Is this really happening?
I ask myself that all the time.
What are you doing?
That's how I think.
A.
Yep.
Just say it out loud, then say more words or more letters or more consonants.
Were you not ready?
Or vowels.
A.
Alcatraz.
You're gonna be there next.
Mark, you have it right in front of you.
Angels in the Owlfields. Oh, Angels in the Owlfields.
Right there.
It's on your donut box.
For the taking.
Apocalypse Now.
You're out.
Does that mean I leave?
Or what happens? No, no, no.
You just hang out.
I'll probably forget that you're out
by the time it gets back to you.
So just be ready.
I went with Airborne because it was shot supposedly
in Cincinnati where I'm going to be at Go Bananas
October 18th
at 420.
And also Airborne features Jack Black
and isn't a bad
little movie actually. Doug, I'd just
like to say in my backpack
if we got it right now, I have a
bottle of Airborne.
Does it come in bottles?
Yeah, it's a lozenge.
You don't have to dip it in water.
It's a crazy coincidence, Brody.
All right, what do I know?
I was only in the movie Due Date.
I'm sorry, there are no Ds in meatballs.
Your letter, John, is the letter T.
Weekend at Bernie's.
No, wait.
I was just about to say the letter T is a very easy letter.
Probably more movies begin with the letter T than any other letter.
The Schindler's List.
You know, if you're not going to take this seriously You're right
If you're just going to keep bringing up the Holocaust
You're right
You're absolutely right
Here we go
Comedy comes in threes
So John's third joke answer is
I'm gassed
Oh my god
Thank you
I believe comedy comes in 11s by the way
So buckle up
Here we go
Here we go
Really I gotta answer this?
Mm-hmm
Okay Is that how you're gonna approach all the games today? Here we go. Here we go. Really, I got to answer this? Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Is that how you're going to approach all the games today?
Well, no, but you gave me T. You do expect me to participate?
You gave me T.
Yeah, any movie that begins with the letter T.
Okay, The Godfather.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean.
It's that easy.
I know, but where are you performing?
It's not that easy.
I had A and it's sitting right fucking in front of me.
Right on my name tag.
Yeah, that one was, yeah.
I went with what I find to be one of the most hilarious motion pictures to ever come out of Canada.
For my letter T, and that is the sweet hereafter.
Yeah.
That was classic.
There are plenty of people in the United States that will hear that joke
and have no idea.
And that's why I said it.
But it is a good movie.
Sarah Pauly sang a tragically hip
song in that movie.
I didn't even realize this. Last night I had
a beer called The 100th Meridian
and I realized if I get
alcohol poisoned and die, I hope
everyone gets Roy Cougar to sing my
eulogy.
Playing to the hometown crowd.
Doug's not happy about that.
I just have no idea what just happened.
I know.
You get the letter B, JP.
It's our secret.
B.
It's just down to you and to Brody.
It's a very tight competition.
Benji?
Huh?
Benji.
Benji.
Oh, yeah, Benji.
Benj Monji.
Was there the first one was just called Benji?
Yeah, I think it was.
I know eventually they did Benji the Hunted,
which is a very dark twist.
I think the first one was Benji the Benji.
Yeah.
Just Benji.
I went with Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
because, strangely enough,
it was filmed partially in Arizona.
I didn't know that.
And I'll be at the Tempe Improv
November 13 and 15.
And Brody, you get the letter A.
I...
You probably thought of one earlier when we were
tossing around A titles. I certainly
was. I counted it out.
Oh, you planned ahead? Yes, I did.
What do you got? Well, there's a lot of
Schindler's jokes tonight.
And I would like to go
with the movie How I Feel Up Here.
American history X.
I'm getting jumped by a bunch of Aryans.
You don't do that to me.
Not in Toronto.
Not in the multicultural city of Toronto.
You got it.
Priest Burger.
No.
I went with Air Force One.
For pretty much the same reasons.
Somehow Air Force One was shot partially in Columbus, Ohio?
That doesn't seem right.
Seems like it should have been inside a plane in the air.
And then down at the White House.
But I'm going to be in Columbus at the Funny Bone October 19th.
Doing a Doug Loves Movies. First time we're doing a
Douglas Movies there, so that should be fun.
Mark, you're out.
John, I'm letting you stay back in.
Thank you. You seem so hurt. I didn't take it
seriously the first time, but I will this time.
So if I showed emotion, I would have
been back in?
He did say
the correct answer eventually.
I sent some after
You had no idea
I don't even know where the fuck I am right now
John
Alright
What do you got for the letter L John
Oh um
I'm surprised by how this is working
Oh oh me?
League of their own.
No, it doesn't count.
I'm out because it's a league of their own.
Fuck.
Thank you for moving the game along.
I went with Lost in Yonkers
because I'm doing a movie interruption
of Ghost in Yonkers
on October 5th.
Alamo Draft House.
You got another L there, JP.
Oh, you're gonna say it.
L.
Llewellyn, comma,
inside.
It's kind of miraculous how difficult this game can be for some people.
Well, I so overthought L, I saw two Ls, and then it was like, all I could do was say Llewellyn.
Or Lewyn, or whatever his name was.
It's The Last of the Mohicans, isn't it? That's what you wrote.
No, that's The Last of the Mohicans, and I... I honestly
I think I might be an idiot
This is pretty much a standard IQ test
You're not the one that sat down
and put on this fucking idiot headband
in front of 500 fucking people
John that sat down and put on this fucking idiot headband in front of 500 fucking people. John. Ah!
I went, we're about to lose one of these on stage.
I went with Life
because it's set near Sacramento
and I'll be there on November 1st
at 4.20.
And thanks.
Can you turn that around?
It's blinding us.
Oh, yeah.
Not a problem.
Wow, that is very interesting.
I can absolutely do that. I wasn't thinking.
I'm so sorry about that.
A gentleman in the audience pointed out that the flashlight
on stage
was shooting right into people's eyes,
but he's sitting way the hell back there.
You're creating
a lot of damage with that, I think.
I think he was...
Actually, you know what?
I don't like being talked to like that.
Yeah!
You don't do that to us.
We're busy doing a show.
Does anybody just walk up to the panel on Match Game and say that...
Yeah, I thought he was a tech guy working on the microphone.
He did look like he came up to ask a question into that mic.
And by the way, your irises will naturally narrow, okay?
You're a human.
You've evolved to the point.
Why is Mark on the floor?
Yeah, Doug.
Doug, Mark's out.
Mark's out.
Doug.
Uh-oh.
Doug.
Oh, no, he's down?
Yeah, I'm down.
I didn't even notice because of this whole flashlight thing.
We're going to take care of this first, and then we'll be with you, Mark.
Your hip band matches with your belt.
We're good. That's upside down.
You don't think it has an off switch, maybe?
I don't know.
Maybe you could just turn it off, save it.
I don't see an off switch.
Oh, there it is on the front.
There you go.
Oh, wait a minute.
Turn it right the fuck off. Yeah, but it's better if it's on. There we go. It's better if it is on the front. There you go. Oh, wait a minute. Turn it right the fuck off.
Yeah, but it's better if it's on.
There we go.
So at least point it at somebody different.
We'll move it every few minutes like a sundial.
It's off now.
Mark is back in his chair.
You going to be all right, buddy?
Yeah.
I wish I had another flashlight.
It's good to be in Cincinnati.
He's gone bananas Hey aren't you playing gone bananas soon
Yeah that's why I said it
Yeah man
Who was on the last turn
JP John
I failed with L
Brody gets to do...
Oh, I should have let Brody do an L word after Llewellyn.
Do you have an L word?
I had one, yeah.
The title, yeah?
I was going to say, leaving Las Vegas.
If you had said life, you would have matched me,
and you already knew that.
But, uh...
Moving on to John.
The final letter. This is your chance to get a match. The final letter.
This is your chance to get a match.
The letter S.
Aren't I out?
Over to JP.
He's out too.
Shawshank Redemption.
Brody wins, everybody.
You know what I was going to say?
Saturday Night Fever tied back to the Airborne.
You got it.
Stay with me. 7 o'clock.
Drake Theater.
And it's the Shawshank Redemption.
I got
chromosomal issues. I don't know what's happening here.
I went with School of Rock
because my friend Amazonal issues. I don't know what's happening here. I went with School of Rock.
Yeah, because my friend Jack Black is going to be joining me on Getting Doug with High very soon.
Very soon. Very soon.
If you're listening to this, you might be too late.
How are we doing on time, you guys?
Who cares? I love it.
Love that attitude.
That Toronto who cares attitude.
Wow. Oh my gosh.
Was that a June bug?
No, it's a joint
bug.
You get a lot of credit from your cult
members. We'll put that in the prize bag.
All right, you guys.
We've got to concentrate.
We've got 23 minutes.
Quick question.
Do you ever smoke stuff that gets thrown at you?
What's that?
Do you ever smoke stuff that's just thrown at you on stage?
Are you worried?
Do I ever?
Yeah.
Do I ever smoke anything that wasn't thrown at me?
Or handed to me politely?
He wouldn't need a donut.
I get a lot of weed and I smoke all of it, John.
You do, huh?
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, if you think that's safe.
When I have a plane to catch,
I redistribute it amongst the locals before I leave.
Because I don't fly with it.
You're like, Jesus.
I do the same.
Only way better.
I do the same with my donuts.
That was my nickname in high school,
Better Jesus.
Better Jesus.
Sup, BJ?
That's not what they meant.
Nothing.
Bring me your punch.
I'll turn it into something good.
Yeah.
We got to play the Leonard Maltin game
It's a must
Brody gets to go first
And then we'll switch the order around
And head JP's way
And Brody gets to pick a category
And
Mark if you fall off your chair again
You're out
Yeah so Try to stay upright and Mark, if you fall off your chair again, you're out.
Yeah, so try to stay upright.
Can I just ask why I got handicapped?
Right off the top.
Pretty sure it was your decision to put that on and to eat that other thing
and to drink those other things.
All your ideas.
Carpe diem.
JP gets to choose between pie,
that category, of course,
is movies that
Leonard gave three stars
and listed 14 names
okay
that's the pie category
Doug I thought I was
that you mentioned
I was supposed to go first
but you know
that's cool
see how easy that is to fix
people in the back screaming
like it was the holocaust
human resources here I think the people in the front were also screaming like it was the Holocaust.
Human resources here.
I think the people in the front were also screaming at the Holocaust.
Not just the people in the back.
Everybody's mad at the Holocaust.
Everybody was screaming.
That's not totally true.
Really?
You just gave the Holocaust a stern talking to?
No
What?
It's intangible
At
Max P. Wilson
Suggested Superbad
And that's superhero movies
That Leonard gave two stars or less, Brody
Then we'll go to JP
Or The Blueberry Johnson category hero movies that Leonard gave two stars or less, Brody. Then we'll go to JP. Or
the Blueberry Johnson
category, which is you're in
this, and this is films that
someone in the panel is in.
So I can pick
the topics? You get to pick, yeah,
by having control. It seems like I
can kind of feel which category you're going to
gun for. Why not? I'll
go for the movies that we're in.
All right.
Yeah.
Pick a movie.
One of you is in this movie from the year is 2008.
Leonard gave this movie two and a half stars.
He says about this movie that it gets
a lot of mileage from the
lead actor
impersonating another actor.
According to Leonard.
Interesting description.
He says it starts off abysmally
and improves as it goes along
but then there's that
formulaic, barely credible finale.
And then he lists 11, 16 names.
16 names.
How many names can you get it in, Brody Stevens?
I could probably do it, I know what I'm thinking,
I would say three names.
Is that not...
That's a bold bid.
But now we'll go to JP.
See if he can bid lower or ask you to name it.
2008.
Three names.
I want to hear you name it, Brody.
Brody.
I want to hear you name it, Brody.
I just want to throw in one more clue, just to make it fair.
I'm not absolutely sure one of you is in this.
Thanks, Better Jesus.
That's the Better Jesus.
I don't know.
I'm just kidding.
I'm pretty sure.
I got a good feeling about it.
Your three names, Brody, are Pete Best,
Jane Krakowski,
and Jonathan Glazer.
And these are, you know, lowly billed out of all the names
of this movie
two and a half stars from Leonard
from 2008
my guess
please
Tropic Thunder
that is incorrect
but it is funny you mention a Jack Black movie
because he says this gets much of its mileage
from Rainn Wilson's amusing Jack Black imitation,
and the film is called The Rocker.
Who was in The Rocker?
Mark Forward.
Mark Forward is in The Rocker.
I knew it.
Was that 2008?
I thought that was...
Okay.
You weren't in Tropic Thunder?
I wish you passed it on.
When did you think it was?
You were in it, right?
Yeah, I was in it.
What year did you think it was?
I knew that was the movie
because it's the only one I've been in.
But what about Brody's
many screen appearances?
I just felt it.
I thought that was the way to go, too.
I wish you passed it on. Tropic Thunder? No, I was going I was gonna, yeah. I wish you passed it on. Drop of Thunder?
No, I was gonna go The Rocker.
I wish you passed it on.
Mark plays the role of Leon in that movie?
Yeah.
What does Leon do?
Does he get thrown out of the band
for passing out during a rehearsal?
No.
Leon's name is never said for one and I I worked on
that movie and I still don't know what Leon's purpose was I was at his office
Doug can I tell you why I picked Tropic Thunder please because you said an actor
playing an actor right something like that one actor imitating another
okay so I was thinking Robert Downey Jr.
playing the black guy
as a white guy
and then I was in due date with Robert
Downey Jr.
I get your thinking totally
but I didn't think
it's kind of like you were in Tropic Thunder
totally smart
good reasoning you were in Tropic Thunder. Totally smart.
Good reasoning.
You were in Due Date?
Opening scene.
That guy from Tropic Thunder.
Cool, cool, cool.
Ontario Airport.
Oh, man.
California. California.
Ontario Airport.
Oh, man.
California.
Oh.
So,
JP is on the board with one point.
Hey!
So, you had no choice
but to make him name it.
And so that means
we're going to
start with you, John.
You get to pick a category
and then we're going to
head towards JP.
So, Mark, you're up next.
Okay.
At Tom C. Judd
suggested Rush, and that's
best picture Oscar winners that are
under 100 minutes long.
There are actually a few of them.
Celebrating a birthday today,
I don't know if you guys are friends with him,
I don't know if Kumail Nanjiani's friends
with him, but Mark Maron
is celebrating a birthday
somewhere, somewhere in the world.
He's miserable.
And so the films
of Mark Maron.
He's made some film appearances.
And at RJ Maffa,
M-O-F-F-A, suggested
Best Pitcher,
Best Pitcher, and that's
Oscar-nominated baseball movies.
Yeah. That's for me?
Well, I thought it was
a category you'd enjoy, but you don't get to
pick the category, and now you've probably
given John a reason not
to pick that category.
But let's see what he does. I don't know, because I
do like that category as well.
So you can go ahead and take it if you want. But it's either one or three.
Oh, Mark
Marin. Poor boy. I don't one or three. Oh, Marc Maron. No, not...
Poor boy.
I don't know about that.
Lock the gates.
I'm going to go with...
Why an Oscar-nominated baseball film?
Let's do Oscar-nominated baseball.
Okay.
Yeah.
Would you like an Oscar nominated baseball movie from 1984
or 1986?
No, wait.
Let's call it
88.
Let's call both those years
88 or 184, 188
or 186, 88. Let's pick between the two
88s. Oh, both of them are from
88? No, no, no. It's
definitely 88 or 84.
Never seen somebody use glasses like that in my life.
Doug just held his glasses to the phone
while staying probably seven feet away.
I like that.
So they're both from 88, you said?
Yeah, pick one, goddammit.
Okay, I'll...
What do you mean, pick one?
What are you talking...
Which year would you like?
No, but I don't know the years.
88 or what?
84.
Oh, thank you.
Pick one, pick one!
88.
Oh.
You can shorten it.
Okay.
Three stars from Leonard.
Shorten it?
We don't edit shit out of this.
But that's a good idea.
Edit that part.
Okay.
Edit the part that you don't edit anything.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie
that's about baseball, has baseball in it,
and also got one or more Oscar nominations.
Leonard calls this movie a bit sluggish at times.
Nice. Leonard, well done.
But he also says it has some seriously sexy scenes
near the end.
So that's an interesting way to find out Leonard is a butt man.
And then he lists seven...
I can't believe I almost said was, like he was dead.
Leonard was a butt man, you guys.
That's why I'm going to open the
eulogy if I
if he goes first. Don't let me talk
don't worry about it.
Seven names
John.
Baseball movie, Oscar nominations
sluggish
sexy
I feel like I can do it
I'm feeling sluggish and sexy tonight
I think I can do it
But I don't know if this was nominated
Seven names, huh?
You can take them all if you want
I can just go for it if I want
88
You can say zero names
But don't announce what you think the title is.
The next person gets to go.
What was the final? 88 or 84?
This one was from 88.
Okay.
I did this last time and it fucked me, but I'm going to do it again.
I can do it in one name.
Okay, he says one name.
So I pass it to Mark.
What are you going to do with that, Mark?
Can you name it?
You have to name that movie John Tarr
Alright
Your one name
I'm going to tell you your one name
It's Max Patkin
Patkin
P-A-T-K-I-N
Max Patkin
Oh Max, I got it
What do you think the movie is? I'm just going to say it and it's probably wrong Patkin, P-A-T-K-I-N, Max Patkin. Oh, Max. Oh, I got it.
What do you think the movie is?
Okay, I'm just going to say it, and it's probably wrong because I'm between two, but it's got to be when I say sexy towards the end.
Here it is.
It is...
Oh, fuck.
Was it nominated?
Okay.
I'm worried that it's going to be wrong.
I'm worried that we're not gonna have time to fish bull Durham
correct
I couldn't do that. It would ruin something.
I knew that when you said Max Patkin, I knew it.
Did you?
He's a clown prince of baseball.
Or was.
He passed away.
He does all the goofy copies of The First Basement.
There's a movie about him, too.
I know that was his name, but I know the clown prince.
Max Patkin.
Does that mean I have to say it?
Sexy was a great word.
That helped.
That sexy is what that movie is.
That movie is sexy.
Jockstraps.
Arliss guy.
Arliss.
Fuck that shit.
Yeah.
Alright, now we're
going to start with JP.
And then we're going to go to
Brody.
So do I just...
I never get a turn.
I don't understand anything.
You just had a turn. You blew it.
Oh, okay.
You sent it back this way.
We switched the order around.
Everybody gets a chance.
At Squirrel Whisperer suggested...
And is this me or Brody?
This is you, JP. But it might be Brody.
No, it's you.
It's all you.
Oh, this is Doug Loves Movies.
It's all you, JP.
Welcome, Mark Forward.
Say thanks.
Thank you.
There you go.
Squirrelwhispersuggested.
Purge Anarchy.
Purge Anarchy. Purge Anarchy.
And that's a movie where more than one person has diarrhea.
At Party In My Jeans suggested
Thanks For The Plug.
Thanks For The Plug.
And that's movies where someone dies in a bathtub.
And for you guys,
O Canada.
And that's movies shot in Toronto
that are supposed to be New York City.
Alright, let's go with O Canada.
Yay.
This movie was shot here.
It was supposed to be in New York.
One and a half stars from Leonard.
The year...
Didn't work out so good.
Oh man, it's the rocker again.
The year...
The year is 2000.
He says about this movie
that there's
an unrated version that's available. He also about this movie that there's an unrated version that's available.
He also calls this movie...
He says the lead actor in this movie gives a dynamic performance and that it was followed
by a direct-to-video sequel.
Direct-to-video, that's an expression.
And then he lists nine names.
How many, JP?
I don't feel like I got a lot of information here.
I'm going to say...
I can do it in seven names.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were trying to pull a Sam Levine.
I don't think I...
Zero names.
So he's taken seven out of them there, Brody.
What do you think?
I don't...
Yeah, not enough information.
I could probably name it in eight.
We're not looking for what you can actually do.
You'd have to bid six to be one lower than JP's bid.
You know what?
Or you can ask him to name it.
Okay, I think I'll do that.
What?
You want to name it? Why don't you name it?
All right.
So he gets the name.
JP gets seven out of nine names.
I probably should have tried, but...
I don't know. I feel I have mixed feelings about it.
But is that what we're doing?
You can say six, and then Mark would
have to name it in six.
I wasn't paying attention.
There's no info.
You know what? Okay.
I can name it in six names. info. You know what? Okay. I can name it in six names.
Yeah! You know
what?
Show him, bro. I can name it in five
names!
I can name it in four.
Now that sounded like someone named Leon.
I have no idea what this is. What?
Oh, sorry. Go ahead. I was going to say I can name it in four.
I said he sounded like someone named Leon
the way he just said that.
Yeah, he did. You're absolutely right.
He said five, and what do you say, John?
I mean, there's no info there.
There's nothing. It's 2000.
It's double. That's all you've said.
I gotta say...
I said one and a half from Leonard's.
It's not very good, according to him.
Year 2000.
Filmed in Toronto. It's supposed to be New York. It's not very good, according to him. Year 2000. Filmed in Toronto.
It's supposed to be New York.
That's nothing. Hang on.
I also said the lead actor gives a dynamic
performance.
And I also said
did I mention the unrated version?
And it was
followed by a direct-to-video sequel.
Those are great clues.
Doug did a face.
I don't know if I can do this.
Face time.
I think I have to pass that.
So it's now to me for five.
Yeah, you can go four.
You can say three.
I know you're just going to send it back to me.
You could say two.
There's no way.
I don't know.
I don't know what JP would do with that.
What am I at?
I know.
Yeah, four.
You're going to challenge him.
I said five.
He's going to get five out of nine
if you say name it.
I'm going to send it to you for four?
Or for three now?
No, you're saying four.
You're saying four.
Name it in four.
Mr. Dorr, I would like you to hear four actors' names.
This is crazy, man.
You predicted your own undoing.
Here's your four names. Maybe those will help.
Oh, I could ask him to name it?
I'll give you the four names. Okay.
He just asked you to name it. No, I know.
It's on you. I understand. Okay.
Please tell me the four names. Where are your glasses?
You should have asked me. I don't need them.
I only need them for eights and sixes.
Does your phone need glasses?
Really?
That's adorable.
What about double?
Why is your failing eye so cute?
I don't wear the glasses.
My phone does.
Matt Ross.
I did put my glasses on the phone.
I know you did.
Genevieve Turner's in this movie.
Fantastic.
Justin Theroux.
Okay.
Mr. Jennifer Aniston.
What, what, what?
Yeah, okay, sorry.
I thought your name was Jennifer Aniston. No, there isn't.
No, Jennifer Aniston is not in this.
Nor does she go by Mr. Jennifer Aniston.
And Chloe Saveny.
Chloe Saveny, yeah.
The often naked Chloe Saveny.
How many names was that?
Three?
That's your four names.
That's my four?
I thought that was three.
Quickly again, please.
I'm so sorry.
You get four, and Matt Ross does not matter.
Okay, yeah.
Genevieve Turner, that's a good clue, I think.
Oh, man, if Matt Ross was at home listening to this.
What?
That really hurt
Yeah
Sorry Matt Ross
He's gonna strap on
The tightest headband
He can find
Play along with the ride
Justin Theroux and
Chloe Sevigny
Sevigny
Dynamic performance
We're out of time
Okay
Straight to DVD
Second
There's no way
This is even it
But I'm gonna say
Liar liar
I know it's a dumb one
any answer that's wrong could be considered a dumb answer
so don't feel bad
because you know
I don't feel bad
it seems like they probably did that
they probably shot that here
I'm thinking dynamic performance
there could have been a sequel I'm unaware of
that was unrated
you know they go mental with the sequels yeah no rating there could have been a sequel I'm unaware of that was unrated.
You know, they go mental with the sequels.
Yeah.
They just, no rating.
He's lying about sexual diseases. 2,000, does that even make sense?
Yeah, it does.
Liar, liar.
Okay, good answer.
It's wrong.
The correct answer is American Psycho.
Yeah.
And I think I just did this movie on the show recently
because the word turgid is in the review
And we had a long discussion about turgid before
But right on schedule
Our winner is J.P. Manu
Yay
J.P.
By default
Great job
Never had to answer a question
Good for you
Defense
Let me get all the name tags.
There were...
I don't want to say losers.
Let's just call you donut stompers.
And...
Can I have yours too there, Brody?
Shit, this is unwieldy.
No, I got it.
And then...
Thanks, John.
And then the person who won all this stuff, what's the name again?
Jesse Usher.
Jesse.
You love Jesse.
Can you come try to take all of it?
Do you have a team of people that can help you carry away your glorious bounty?
Can Jesse have that back?
Any items you don't want, just feel free to leave them on the stage.
Jesse, if you don't want the pass.
But you can have it.
You can have it.
Are you a Blue Jays fan, Jesse?
Do you want Brody to have that?
He wants Brody to have it back, you guys.
Thank you.
It meant a lot to me.
Joey Batts and I have the same beard.
I like when that little boy
has the girl behind him, the baseball.
Thank you for giving it back to me, Jesse.
Thank you, John.
Sorry for putting the mic in front of his speaker.
Noice.
What a pro.
Anything, uh...
No, don't do it again.
Anything to plug John Doerr?
I always like to, yeah, go to PearlJam.com.
They got some great stuff going on.
Trying to help the independent scene a little bit.
Check them out.
Go ahead.
Mark forward.
Still with us.
Yeah.
Still alive.
Headband and all.
When does it come off?
Like at the very end or now?
No, I'm going to wear it.
I have three.
To your other shows?
I'm going to wear it to my other shows tonight.
Finishing off at 11pm?
That's a performer, man.
And I'm not going to mention it to the other crowds.
You could slip it off while Meatballs is playing.
No one would know.
Do you know Pete Holmes uses a vaporizer
between shows, like a dehumidifier?
Oh, a dehumidifier.
I thought you were trying to out him as a podcast.
No, sorry.
A humidifier between shows.
Oh, that's interesting.
It is very interesting.
Yeah, so you've got to keep your voice annoying if you're Pete Holmes.
Yeah!
You can just check out my podcast, Mark Forward Podcast.
Mark Forward Podcast.
Mark Forward Podcast on iTunes.
Brody Stevens likes to podcast.
Yeah, I don't do it consistently enough, but...
Would you like me to promote something?
Yeah, whatever you like.
That's the...
Yeah, you're right.
Even though you have a tight headband on, you realize what's going on right now.
I'm currently on an American television show with David Spade
and Nick Swartzen and Chuck Liddell
and Turtle from Entourage.
What's it called, the show?
Fox Sports Fantasy Football Uncensored.
I don't know if it's available here,
but it's a fun show.
We do it all week through the football season
and it's a good time being up there with the guys.
Sounds fun.
I'd watch that. It's on once a week. I don't give with the guys. Sounds fun. I'd watch that.
It's on once a week.
I don't give a shit about the game, but I'd watch that.
Sounds fun. The game.
JP, what's going
on, man? Your show is coming back.
Yeah, we're going to start working on season two of Spun
Out on CTV next
week. You can see episodes
from season one
if you go to ctv.ca. Maybe
they rerun on Comedy Channel right now. Or
if you fly Air Canada, we're part
of the in-flight entertainment.
Me and
Wayne Gretzky watched it.
I begged
two Australian girls sitting next
to me to, like, sample this.
Hey, try this out. They're like, thanks.
Tried to get them to watch your show on the airport?
While I was sitting next to him, and then it got creepy.
I was like, it's this easy. Just hit the button.
J.P. Manu, never desperate.
I don't think this shithead's going to go over well.
One more round of applause
for all of my guests, you guys.
J.P. Manu, Brody Stevens, Mark Forward, and John Dorn.
All right, as always, that guy wearing a bowler hat on the TTC
who wouldn't move his bag off the seat next to him
is a shithead.
Topical. Topical.
Griffin's friend Steve is a shithead.
And this is a double, which I don't like permitting,
but I think I have to just to...
just because of the reaction to this first one.
The Toronto Blue Jays are a shithead.
Too soon.
But at least this guy picks his battles
and my printer for running out of ink.
It's a shit head.
It's a shit head.