Doug Loves Movies - Rental Car XI

Episode Date: April 21, 2012

Can Doug and Graham drive from Eugene, Oregon to the airport in Portland without driving each other crazy?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at http...s://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from a rental car. What kind of car is this, Graham? Doug, we are in a Mitsubishi Endeavor, which is sort of Mitsubishi's big Jeep Cherokee, if you will, SUV. It's fine. It's Mitsubishi. It's decent. I'm excited that we're in an SUV on Earth Day.
Starting point is 00:00:42 Yeah. I wish the rental car companies would have more... Their whole fleet should just be hybrids. They all have some hybrids, but they're not... It's like a specialty item, and you have to pay extra for it. It's like they should just make everything a hybrid. Yeah, come on, rental cars.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Enterprise. Get in any hybrid and go, we're driving from Eugene, Oregon to PDX to fly back to Los Angeles, LAX on Sunday, April 22nd to Oceans 12 at, it's like 8.37am right now, so I say that so that if we're bad at the games, you'll go, well, they just woke up. Let's give them a break. And we're driving through fog. It's very foggy. Yeah, it's crazy foggy right now. You can't see very far in front of the car, so that could lead to some excitement when a sheep
Starting point is 00:01:46 wanders out into the road. That could really affect Bill the title, hitting cattle. Last night we did the second annual 421 show at Wow Hall. Wow Hall in Eugene. Woodsman of the world. Yeah, that's what it stands for. No one is Wow, no one is Hall. Graham was undefeatable,
Starting point is 00:02:11 taking on Brandy and Joey, and was it David we gave the prize? No, we gave the prizes to Joey. Joey, I beat David, Brandy, and then Joey at the end. I defeated him, and we still just gave him prizes because we had to go. Yeah, we can't, you know, and then Joey at the end. I defeated him and we still just gave him prizes because we had to go. Yeah, we can't, you know, can't play all night. I got a question for you, Graham.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Why do you hate Chicago? Who tweeted that? Let me tell you something, friend. I grew up in Chicago. I am a Cubs and a Bears and a Bulls fan and a Blackhawks fan. I love performing in Chicago. Next week when Doug is there, I will be working in Las Vegas, Nevada. And if you really want me to perform there,
Starting point is 00:02:52 why don't you get you and all your friends to email Zanies and say we want Grand Elwood to come headline the city that I love and am from and my brother lives there. Yeah, so do that, you guys. and from, and my brother lives there. Yeah, so do that, you guys. I will be at Zany's in Chicago on Tuesday night, and we're going to play the Leonard Walton game.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Oh, I hate Chicago. Wait, you just said all that stuff about how much you like it. Oh, no, no, I'm sorry. I love it. It's great. My favorite thing about Chicago is how much fun it is saying, Dumb Bears! You are is saying, Da Bears! You are a...
Starting point is 00:03:27 Da Bears! Like, there's a new Geico commercial where that stupid lizard says it. Like, it wasn't funny 20 years ago or whenever it started. Yeah, it was 20 years ago. It was 1992 when they did that sketch. Da Bears! That's the whole thing? Just saying Da Bears?
Starting point is 00:03:44 Wow. Anyway, I'll be... Now that I've alienated everyone. Da Bears! That's the whole thing? Just saying Da Bears? Anyway, I'll be, now that I've alienated everyone in Chicago that loves that expression, I will be there. Like, it's a miracle that Da Bears movie never came out of SNL. They made a movie of everything, but they never got around to making that one. And the Gap Girls, I never made one out of that. But I'll be at Zany's on Tuesday night. Winner of Leonard Maltin game against my opening act will not be Graham Elwood, because he'll be in Vegas.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Will win a guest seat on Sundays, Doug Lowe's movie's taping at Zany's at 6 p.m. It's a weird start time. What am I doing in between the two shows? Like, people are going to be bugging me, like, you know, come to our town in between those two Chicago shows. Can't do it. Sorry. Can't do it.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Yeah. I'm going to Ebert Fest. Oh, snap. Yeah, which is a lot more fun than Qbert Fest. Sounds like you're going down to Champaign-Urbana. From 20 years ago. That's right. Champaign-Urbana, Roger Ebert's hometown.
Starting point is 00:04:56 I've always wanted to go. He used to have a film festival that was like Overlooked Movies or Undiscovered. You know. Right. I forget the expression for it, but anyway, he would show movies that he thought were overlooked. And he still does that, but he also shows some new movies, and they just call the whole thing Roger Ebert Film Festival.
Starting point is 00:05:20 So I'm going to be attending that for the first time. So if you're there, come over and say hey to me. Thank you to everyone who listened to the debut ep of Dining with Doug and Karen. You've all been so nice. We're going to do it twice. We've decided to do a second episode. And we'll be taping that sometime in May. Please write to me on Twitter with any of your thoughts and concerns about a
Starting point is 00:05:46 show where I just sit there and eat. The episode we taped the Douglas Movies at Cobb's in San Francisco last Thursday with TJ Miller, Pete Holmes, Dan Gabriel, and Mr. Elwood right here will plop sometime this week for free 90 minutes of yelling. It is the least amount of talking I think I've ever done in one of your podcasts. Yeah, because that Dan Gabriel won't shut the fuck up. I was going to put a pillow over his head and smother him. If only there was a pillow around at the comedy club. I know. Why don't the comedy clubs have more pillows?
Starting point is 00:06:29 From the corrections department, I must apologize to Aaron Peanut Wills from 311 for calling him David at one point during the last UCB show. I don't know why I did it. I was just like, it's your turn, David. And he looked at me kind of funny, and then he answered. He's a very, very
Starting point is 00:06:51 nice man. He didn't go, no, my name's Aaron. No, I think he was just I think he thought I was making some sort of reference that nobody got. You know, like maybe he was David, and Sarah Silverman was Goliath. Those 311 guys are so nice. Yeah, he's a very good guy.
Starting point is 00:07:07 And go on the 311 cruise if you can. It'll be the most fun you've ever, ever had, especially if you like 311 and weed. Yeah, and boats and sun. Yeah, Graham went for the boats and the sun. No, it was a year ago that I became a fan. You know, I really got to see 311 and really fell in love with them and their fans. It was awesome. Now, when is the Comedy Film Nerds episode that we did at Bridgetown Fest going to be available?
Starting point is 00:07:39 That will be available this Friday, which is the 27th. It is our first ever paid episode. It's with Janine Garofalo and Doug Benson. It's $1.99. It'll be in the album section. $1.99? Are you out of your mind? Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. We've given 105 episodes for free. Oh, I meant because you're giving it away so cheaply. Oh, that's a great deal. Oh, yes. I had a wonderful time recording my new album on 420 at Parlor Live in Bellevue, Washington.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Graham was there too and we did two shows. One guy had to be kicked out for loud talking in the first show and then four or five ladies, it all happened so quickly, I don't even know how many of them there were, four or five ladies got the boot during the second show. So all I'm trying to say is don't fuck with Parlor Live, people. Parlor Live, man, they were on the case.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Like, people would just, like, sneeze, and they'd be all up on them, like, we're recording an album, gotta have you quiet. But I'm allergic to Doug Benson's comedy. You shouldn't have come to the show, then. You fucking asshole. So it's going to be called Smug Life, and it'll be released by Comedy Central Records this summer. I mean, they still have to hear the shows.
Starting point is 00:08:55 They may go, listen, you babbling stoner, we're not going to put this out. People don't want to listen to you read your goddamn tweets for an hour. The second show is very unscripted. Well, yeah, that was the point, because I got an extra high for the second one. Got some news for you, Graham. Movie news.
Starting point is 00:09:16 The next Hunger Games has a director, and no one is excited about it. Francis Lawrence is going to direct Catching Fire or whatever it's called. What? Do you know who that is? No. What has he done? He's done three movies and I've seen all three of them and that's part of why I'm not excited about him directing the next Hunger Games because to me it's just they've replaced the guy that was a journeyman director with another journeyman director, like somebody that doesn't have a specific, you know, maybe he'll surprise me, but his
Starting point is 00:09:51 three previous movies were Constantine, I Am Legend, and Water for Elephants. Yeah, I mean... Not a bad filmmaker. Well, I'll tell you what... I Am Legend had some exciting parts. I will say this. I think he's going to be a better action director than Gary Ross. Because I Am Legend had some really cool stuff, and so did Constantine. And Water for Elephants had some pretty good elephant fighting.
Starting point is 00:10:16 It did. The good elephant fighting. It was about elephants that were sent out into the jungle to fight each other to the death. Yeah, it was. It was elephant cage fighting. And they were like, they weren't hungry. They just needed water. He's thirsty. God. Don't go to the death. Yeah, it was. It was elephant cage fighting. And they were like, they weren't hungry. They just needed water. He's thirsty. God.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Don't go to the water hole. The water for elephants games. Everyone's got way too much bacon. May every one of you remember. Or something like that. What was the slogan in Hunger Games that they kept saying over and over again? I can't even remember
Starting point is 00:10:44 it. It's such an unmemorable slogan. Isn't it, may the odds be with you? And may the odds be all in your favor. Like, That movie. That movie drives me crazy. Yeah, and they kept saying it over and over again. It's just like, yeah, we get it, but
Starting point is 00:10:59 why couldn't it be something more, you know, they say more clever things on fucking Survivor, you know? I think this guy... The tribe has spoken is so much better. I think this guy will do a better job than Gary Ross. All right. Is he going to be amazing? Is he going to be like, oh my God, Christopher Nolan?
Starting point is 00:11:18 No. But I think you'll go, I think there'll be a noticeable difference and you'll go, the action in the second one was a lot better. The fog has lifted and it's a beautiful day. Gorgeous day in Northern Oregon. It's green, it's sunny, and bright, and fun. Hey, y'all, if you've got any movie-related games that you play with your friends,
Starting point is 00:11:36 tweet them at me, or send them to contact at douglosemovies.com, or find my Doug Loves Movies thread on asemovies.com or find my douglosemovies thread on thespecialthing.com and suggest your game and I'll play the ones I like right here in the rental car episodes.
Starting point is 00:11:56 Give them a test run, if you will. See if they can make it to the big show. Yep, we have a test run in the car. That's a minor leak. this is a single a ball here barely this is barely single a ball this is more like developmental what is there where does it go from there double a single a is the lowest then double then triple and then from triple a next stop is the big show oh oh okay so single Oh, oh, okay. So that's right. So single A is the, that's like, that's Little League.
Starting point is 00:12:29 No, single A is the lowest of the minor leagues. Yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Like the minor leagues need levels. Like, I'm in the minor leagues, not in the big show. That's how, as easy as that to explain, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, this isn't... They probably don't go whipping around the A's. When they, you know, if you're in single A, you're probably just like, I'm in the minor
Starting point is 00:12:55 leagues. Right, if you're in double, if you're in triple A, you very make a point. Well, if you're in triple A, you can at least, you know, you can at least operate all your battery-operated items. Because it's based on batteries, right? AAA batteries. Yeah. Are you sure the fog lifted? Not my personal fog. My personal fog is never-ending.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Never-present. Yes. Do you hunger for games, Graham? Oh, I do, Dougly. Let's start with... I hope that doesn't catch on. We'll start with Movie Cats from Never Not Funny. Remember, someone suggested, and I agree, no sequels.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Sequels make it too easy or easier. So we'll let you pick a starter, Graham. Name a movie or an actor, either one. Now, are we going back to the... We're just going to go back and forth until somebody's stumped. But it's... Can you...
Starting point is 00:13:52 It goes... It switches back and forth between movie and actor, yeah. That other version was dope. Yeah, you didn't like that other version because you're stupid. No. Because the version was dope.
Starting point is 00:14:04 All right, let's go with with play Misty for me. Okay. So I got to name an actor from play Misty for me. And the only people I can even think of that are in it are the former mayor of the city of Carmel, California, and Jessica Walter. Can you think of another Jessica Walter movie? You might have killed yourself out of the gate. I did. I sepacued myself. Yeah. What else is Jessica Walter in? Jessica Walter was in four seasons with the Alan Alda movie?
Starting point is 00:14:46 I don't think so. Am I going to have to look that up? Yeah. I don't think she was. I don't think she was. She's a tough one. She was in other movies, but that was her big famous movie because she was the woman who was stalking Clint Eastwood
Starting point is 00:15:02 and played a radio DJ. I haven't seen it forever. I don't know if it holds up. It's a great premise. Yeah, yeah. I remember it being a fun movie when I was young. She played a good Loney tune, you know. Yeah, and she'll be, you know, if they ever get it done, she'll be in the Arrested Development movie. Yeah, but let me jump on my IMDb here.
Starting point is 00:15:29 She was one of the couples. Because IMDb. What? I thought she was in one of the couples. She might have been, but you might be thinking of Rita Moreno. Well, I did not confuse the woman from West Side Story It was Carol Burnett, Rita Moreno A young girl That was with
Starting point is 00:15:49 The older guy Played by George What's his name? George Sunza I think And Who was with Alan Alda That couldn't have been Jessica Walsh Four Seasons Alright here right, here we go.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Let's get this. Ooh, Four Lions just came up. I still haven't seen that. I hear such good things about it all the time. Alan Alda, Carol Burnett. Oh, Len Cariou is the older guy with the younger girl. Sandy Dennis was in it too with Rita Moreno oh it wasn't George Zunza it was Jack Weston Bess Armstrong was the younger girl then for some reason like Alan Alda's kids were in it somewhere but yeah they all went out
Starting point is 00:16:36 like on a boat and the old guy and the younger girl were doing some loud fucking that was annoying everybody just kind of become a staple in any time it's a movie about couples going on vacation. All right, Graham, so, uh, let me, let me see if I can, if I can't name another Jessica Walter movie, then this one, this one's officially a draw. Um, what else was she in? I want to think that she was maybe in The First Stepford Wives.
Starting point is 00:17:07 But I don't think that's right either. So now I'm just going to go to Leonard. I'm going to go to Leonard Maltin and see what he lists for her movies because she's been in some movies. She's been in a million movies. But they were all just older and not play Misty for me, so it's hard to...
Starting point is 00:17:29 Because that was kind of her big co-starring. Yeah, that was a big deal because she was the, you know, she was the trouble. She was the problem. She was the problem. She was the one calling up and saying, play the song Misty for me. She was in Grand Prix, The Group, Bye Bye Braverman, and then play Misty for me.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Leonard only gave Play Misty for me three stars, so that's not a good sign. Then she was in Golden Girl with Susan Anton. Remember that? She was like a runner. Yeah. Flamingo Kid. Oh, that's right. I should have remembered that.
Starting point is 00:18:04 She's the bitch you Yeah, she was in PCU, Slums of Beverly Hills, Dummy with Adrian Brody, and Unaccompanied Minors. Wow, I couldn't think of any other Jessica Walter movie. None of them were like big blockbusters
Starting point is 00:18:21 or big standouts or award winners. She's just this sort of character actress that has just sort of been around for 30, 40 years. Yeah, and certainly doing the best work of her life on Arrested Development. She's so great on that. All right, so let's try another one since that was such a lame movie, Katz. And also I just want to mention really quick, I almost forgot, And also I just want to mention really quick, I almost forgot, that last night, as part of, you know, this was the second annual 421 show that we did at the Wow Hall in Eugene. And prior to that, we'd done a show there on one of my, I think it was on the medical marijuana tour of fall of, what was that, 09 or 10?
Starting point is 00:19:08 Something like that. Something like that. Anyway, it's my third appearance at Wow Hall, but I'm finally so excited to say that I won a Wow Hall award. Congratulations. They give out awards every year. This one was in an envelope in the dressing room that I wouldn't have known about if Graham didn't notice it and then give it to me later, because I didn't even go into the dressing room, I was just standing out back smoking weed the whole show, except for the parts where I was on, of course. But anyway,
Starting point is 00:19:34 for the year 2011, for our show last year, we won the best non-musical or variety performance, and I just want to say what kind of amazing non-musical or variety performance winners they've had over the years in 2010 the winner was the yard dogs road show whatever that means 2009 was girls rock so that was probably like an all-girl band or a variety show with various girls rocking or maybe it was just dudes in dresses female gem show because it can't be musical right yeah best non-musical well there's definitely music in these acts but i guess they just mean it's just you know just a full-fledged band yeah not a concert per se like 2008 was the buckethead guitar hero challenge so i can only i hope they had buckethead there i would be really
Starting point is 00:20:34 sad if buckethead wasn't even at the buckethead guitar guitar hero challenge then 2007 was mc chris and transformers so i i'm assuming that means they played the movie Transformers and MC Chris did his own music for it. Right? Because then two years earlier, 2005, Star Wars 3 with MC Chris was the number. So MC Chris has won a couple of times. Wow.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Yeah. How'd we unseat that guy? Oh, and the Yard Dogs Roadshow won again in 2006. Oh my God. 2004, Suicide Girls. That's a fun show. They just come out and walk around and tell stories. 2003, Chuck Palunik.
Starting point is 00:21:17 Palunik. Plunik. You know, the guy who wrote Fight Club. Chucky. Yeah. I never really knew how to pronounce his last name. 2002, there was a tie. Very exciting.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Between Monsterama and Rummage Sale. Do you think they just had a Rummage Sale? I hope they just had a Rummage Sale. We can't just give it to Monsterama. We gotta... Let's throw a Rummage Sale.
Starting point is 00:21:44 That Rummage Sale did pretty good business, so they moved a lot of tickets from their sale. Yeah. 2001, the winner was the Young Women's Theater Collective. 2000 was the Bindlestiff Family Circus. That sounds so made up. That is such a fake joke. What were you doing last year, Graham? I spent about a year touring with the Bindlestiff Family Circus.
Starting point is 00:22:10 The Bindlestiffs, they take care of you. They're very mean to their elephants. I didn't like that. I was like, give those elephants some water. Those elephants hunger for games and water. I got red-lighted on a pendlestick. In 1999, the Young Women's Theater Collective won again. So now I'm seeing Yard Dogs and Young Women winning twice.
Starting point is 00:22:34 I'm going to go for it again next year. I mean, we just did it. We did the show. Wow, you almost just hit a dude on a motorcycle. Why would a guy be going slow on a motorcycle in the fast lane? I don't get it. Yeah. Get it together, guy. Yeah, people, don't go in the far left lane if you're not committed to going faster than the speed limit.
Starting point is 00:22:54 In 1998, when the category was created, Jello Biafra was the winner. Oh, wow. He just talked about the music rights people or whatever. I guess, yeah. Super car, she made. Yeah, yeah. He was about the music rights people or whatever? I guess, yeah. Super Gar, she made. Yeah, yeah, he was against the NPRG or whatever. Oh, dude, Enchanted Forest Theme Park. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Some guy last night, a drunk guy, wandered up to me behind the, like, I met several people last night that did not have tickets to the show, didn't know I was going to be there. They were just wandering through their neighborhood and recognized me and came up to me and started smoking with me. And there was a guy, a drunk guy, told me four times that his uncle or his father or his grandfather, he told me four times and I don't remember, started this Enchanted Forest place. And the first time he told me, I was very excited. Then he told me again, and I was like, yeah, you told me that already. And then he told me again, and I was like, oh, you're drunk. You just wandered up to the backstage of my show, already hammered out of your mind.
Starting point is 00:23:55 And he's like, yeah, I'm drunk. And then he told me again about the Enchanted Forest, and I said, listen, I've got to go back inside and tell some jokes. That show was great. Like, Eugene is so awesome. There's, like, a bunch of fans that returned to that show. There were some cool name tags. And then the girls that made us, that one girl made us tie-dye shirts.
Starting point is 00:24:17 That was really awesome. Mine is, like, a star. It looks like a hippie Captain America. It's really awesome yeah people gave me so much like a ton of weed and also like the shirt and somebody else gave me a really nice piece that they made and um it was just uh too many gifts you guys like too nice but totally appreciate it and uh But just for future shows, you don't have to bring me anything.
Starting point is 00:24:48 I think we've said this before on this very podcast. In some other rental car. Alright, start us off again. This time, don't fuck it up. Alright, play Misty for me. Again? Why would you?
Starting point is 00:25:03 Did you think I was just going to say Clint Eastwood? Let's go with... Yeah, strategize this time. It's good to pick a movie where you're familiar with a lot of the actors. How do they start movie cats on Never Not Funny? Where do they get the title or the actor from? Does someone just go first?
Starting point is 00:25:29 Is that how it works? I think. I've only played this game once, and it was on Dan Cat's podcast. I didn't play it. I haven't been on Never Not Funny since they've started doing it consistently. Oh, okay. Let's go with... Listening to you think
Starting point is 00:25:50 is so boring. I know. Just spit one out. Well, that's... I'm trying to think of what you said. Like, think of the strategy. Strategize?
Starting point is 00:25:56 That's what I'm doing. Okay. And driving. Oh, yeah. This straight line we're going in is very complicated. Not sitting in the passenger seat
Starting point is 00:26:03 eating a pot lollipop. So, well, let's go with Magnum Force. All right. You're really, like, fixated, apparently. You're having kind of a Clint Eastwood morning. I can't even I mean I'm sure whoever his girlfriend or wife was at the time
Starting point is 00:26:29 might have been in it or was she just in the gauntlet was Sandra Locke in Magnum Force no she's only been in the gauntlet and the Clint Eastwood movies alright well you forced my hand she's been in more than three Clint Eastwood movies for sure but, you forced my hand. She's been in more than three Clint Eastwood movies, for sure.
Starting point is 00:26:46 All of Josie Wales? Yeah, yeah. But anyway, you forced my hand, and I just have to say Clint Eastwood, because I can't think of anybody else that was in Magnum Force. Apologies to all the Magnum Force files out there. Oh, I love Dirty Harry movies. Who else was in it? Hal Holbrook was in it.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Okay, that's all you need. Now name another Clint Eastwood movie. Well, let's go with... The... Heartbreak Ridge. You asshole Heartbreak Ridge I can't think of anybody I just have such a vague recollection of it
Starting point is 00:27:38 But let me think of Who was in Heartbreak Ridge Son of a bitch. Heartbreak Ridge. I can't even... They're all such a blur. He made so many movies that are
Starting point is 00:27:57 about heartbreak and ridges. He did the ridges of Madison County. He did Ridge Over My Heartbreak Live. Heartbreak Ridge. Fart. I can't think of anybody.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Who else was in it? Marsha Mason. Oh, she was the girl in Heartbreak Ridge. She was the Heartbreak. Who played the Ridge? Ridge was played by... Oh, now I'm blanking on his name. Oh, Van Peebles.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Mario? Yeah. Or Melvin? Mario. Not the dad. He must have been like a teenager or something. No, he was like in his early 20s, and he was one of the guys in the unit.
Starting point is 00:28:38 You know, one of the Marines that... Oh, it was a Marine thing? I was like thinking Western. I don't know. Gunny Highway. I've seen this movie way too many times. Yeah, I'm going to say that you really know this one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:55 He was bought in Korea, and he's got some Marine unit. This is in like the early 90s. It's like, we don't care, and they're all rebellious, which would never have in a million years happened to the Marines but he comes in and whips them into shape
Starting point is 00:29:09 yeah this is so early 90s it was 86 two and a half stars from Leonard he says Eastwood's enjoyable to watch as a hell raising career Marine Sergeant who whips a squadron of young recruits into shape but it's a predictable and protracted film whips a squadron of young recruits into shape.
Starting point is 00:29:29 But it's a predictable and protracted film. Pretty thin stuff. Takes longer to play out than the real-life invasion of Granada it depicts. It is directed by Eastwood himself, Marsha Mason, Everett McGill, Moses Gunn, Eileen Heckert, Bo Svensson, Boyd Gaines, Mario Van Peebles, and Arlen Dean Snyder. Yeah, the actual, the scenes between Marsha Mason and Clint Eastwood, there's actually some
Starting point is 00:29:52 cool little fun scenes. They're like, they used to, they were married a long time ago, and then they got divorced, and then they meet up again, and she's all, God damn it, Highway. You may be the world's leading authority on Heartbreak Ridge. I've chosen to forget about it almost entirely.
Starting point is 00:30:09 You can't. Grenada was a real thing, dude. It really happened. All right, so let's play best two out of three since that one got shut down so fast. So you have a point. If you get another one, we'll call it quits. have a point. If you get another one, we'll call it quits, but I'm shocked that you were able to pull this off, this Clint Eastwood maneuver, as it will forever be known. So let me, I'll start the next one. I'll get it away from Clint Eastwood, and I will say,
Starting point is 00:30:39 I will say, Ghost, Ghost, Sans Protocol. I'm going to do it, buddy. I am crazy for Swayze, Pat. Swayze. You're going Patrick Swayze? Oh, yeah. I know a lot of his movies. All right.
Starting point is 00:30:56 So I'm going to go. I'm going to go right to... Next of Kin. Yeah. Good luck. Tick, tick, tick. That's the one movie tick tock tick tock yeah that's why i picked it next of kin yeah who else was in that i'm gonna just say c thomas howell just oh that was a really good guess just take a shot yeah that's a let me let me double check and make sure C. Thomas Howell wasn't in it.
Starting point is 00:31:26 It's been a while since I've seen it. I'm personally going with, because you can't win a point without proving that you know what you're talking about, Ben Stiller was in that movie. What? Yeah. Who was Ben Stiller? That's part of what makes it so memorable. He just had some weird scene
Starting point is 00:31:45 where he like comes in and he's like hey I'm Ben Stiller now my phone's acting funky I literally had all of I had like Red Dawn I had Roadhouse I had them all locked up in my head and then you pulled the one
Starting point is 00:31:59 that's how the game works and I can't but I also can't get my phone to work. My Leonard Mulden hat's been acting a little goofy. Maybe it's due for an update or something, and I haven't done it yet. But I'm having a hard time getting it to cooperate right now. And let me look this up. Oh, yeah, here we go. Next of Ken.
Starting point is 00:32:20 Next of Ken. I bet you if I just type next of, that'll, that'll, that'll, yeah, okay, next of. It's directed by John Irvin, who I believe has passed. He's no longer with us. One and a half stars from Leonard. High concept, low rent star vehicle starring Patrick Swayze. Liam Neeson. No.
Starting point is 00:32:41 His second build. Then Adam Baldwin, the Baldwin that's not a Baldwin. Then Helen Hunt. What? Yeah. Andreas Katsoulis. Bill Paxton. Oh, that damn it.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Then Ben Stiller. And then, Ben Stiller, I remember something about moving a couch or something. Like he's a moving guy or something. And then Michael J. Pollard, according to Leonard, runs a hotel, and Swayze takes on the mob with the help of his backwoods brother, Liam Neeson. Sweet. Yeah. So Liam was already fighting it up back then, but man, now he's fighting wolves. All right, so I get the point on that one, so now we've got to do a tiebreaker.
Starting point is 00:33:23 You can start, Graham, with naming a movie or an actor. Wait, doesn't that make you one, because I get the point on that one So now we gotta do a tiebreaker You can start, Graham, with naming a movie or an actor Wait, doesn't that make you one? Because I lost the first one? No, because that first one was a draw Because I couldn't think of anyone else I couldn't think of another Jessica Walton movie Yeah, so we're good to go I love it
Starting point is 00:33:38 So, name an actor or a movie Um Well, I will go, uh, see Thomas Howell. Wow, you really, you really want to lose, don't you? No, I'm going to win. All right, you go see Thomas Howell. I will go with, um, see Thomas Howell, Secret Admirer. I will go with Justine Bateman.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Was in Secret Admirer? Yeah. As what? She was the girl that he was in love with. Justine Bateman? Yeah. Get out. She was not in Secret Admirer. It was the girl from Full House, Lori Loughlin. Oh, shit. I am the winner. I am the winner. I knew that wasn't going to be too hard. I was trying to think of... What's the one where C. Thomas Howell was black?
Starting point is 00:34:47 Oh, that's... Back to School or whatever. No, no, no. Soul Man! Soul Man! Soul Man! Yeah, I was hoping you would go that one because I'd say Ray Dong Chong is in that one.
Starting point is 00:34:58 I almost did go Soul Man, but I couldn't think of it. I just kept thinking Black Man or... I was hoping you'd go Hitcher, and I would say Rutger Hauer which would have taken us on a weird path. Yeah, as Rutger Hauer often does.
Starting point is 00:35:12 He's a weird path motherfucker, that Rutger Hauer. That was a fun game. Should we play and build a title really quick? Let's build some titles.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Let's just build one title. The show's already 35 minutes. Yeah, yeah? Let's build some titles. Let's just build one title. The show's already 35 minutes. We're wrapping up. Yeah, yeah. Let's get it done. At Todd Clap, T-O-D-D-C-L-A-P-P, seven, the number seven, suggested for a starter title, Watchmen.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Just hate something that ends in watch? Or swatch? Or wah? Men at work. Oh, okay. Watch men. You decided to go the other way there. I'll go working girl.
Starting point is 00:35:58 So now you've got to start with girl or end with watch. Girls on the side. That's called boys on the Side. That was the sequel. No, I'm sorry. Oh, Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Yeah, that's what you meant to say. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Somebody should make two sequels. Boys Just Want to Have Fun and Girls on the Side. Put it on a double bill like Grindhouse, and no one will go. Yeah. All right, watch men at working,
Starting point is 00:36:31 girls just want to have funny people. Funny people. So you got to start with people. Watch. And watch. I know there's a people movie,
Starting point is 00:36:56 but I can't think of. People. People's candidate or people's champion. Yeah, I can't think of any. Alright, so watch. What have you got for watch? Watch. Watch.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Man, watch is a fucking stone wall. I think, yeah yeah I think we've encountered that before I know
Starting point is 00:37:27 I know of one watch title but time after can I just say time after time yeah of course yeah anything that's watch themed fits perfectly
Starting point is 00:37:43 oh I just thought of a people watch themed fits perfectly. Oh! I just thought of a people. Oh. But what do you got for watch? People are crazy. People. People are nuts. People are crazy. People's champion. People are crazy People's champion
Starting point is 00:38:05 People pleaser No way Who's in that? Cameron Diaz Well I believe that Because she She totally is She would do
Starting point is 00:38:18 Oh She is a total People pleaser People with issues People Okay I win in five seconds People with issues. People. Okay, I win in five seconds. People with issues.
Starting point is 00:38:28 People are farting. People suck at it. People have cars. People's champion. Doug wins. What is it? Well, I thought of People vs. Larry Flynn. Cock sucker.
Starting point is 00:38:38 God dang it. And then on the other end, the only title I can ever think of when watch is the first word, when it has to end in watch, is death watch. Oh! You got any plugs, Graham? Well, like we said, the Comedy Film Nerds paid episode coming out April 27th, the Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies pre-orders, and I will be headlining The Laughing Skull in Atlanta, May 17th through 20th. All of this is at GrahamElwood.com.
Starting point is 00:39:14 Yeah, and while Graham's in Atlanta, I'll be at the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Indiana with David Huntsberger, who on Saturday, May 19th, will play a Leonard Maltin game against audience members. And the person who does the best, who can defeat David on the 20th, will get to be a guest on Douglas Movies taping. Both those shows are at 4.20.
Starting point is 00:39:39 And then Graham and I will reunite for Zany's in Hashville, Tennessee, Memorial Day weekend. All weekend long, all weekend strong. Three shows. Two will be stand-up. One will be Douglas movies. And then, of course, I've mentioned this in past episodes, but we'll be at Knoxville SideSplitters on May 3rd. And Charlotte, North Carolina Comedy Zone on May 5th, and that show's at 420.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Yeah. And, as always, play Misty for me as a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!

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