Doug Loves Movies - Rental Car XIX

Episode Date: January 2, 2013

Doug and Graham talk almost exclusively about Disneyworld parks they just visited. Also included, plugs!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https:...//art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, creamy babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or curds. Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you from a rental car. What kind of car is this, Graham? Doug, we are in a Toyota Prius. Hybrid. And that's the noise it makes when you back up. Yep. Because we are backing out of a parking space in a parking lot.
Starting point is 00:00:27 But not just any old parking lot, Doug. No, that's right. It's January what's today? The 3rd? 4th. 4th? No. It's the 3rd. 3rd. Yeah. Sorry. January 3rd. 5th.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Two oceans. 13. To Oceans 13. My guest is Graham Elwood and we are driving from the aforementioned exciting place. We're in a parking lot in Disney World.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Where a woman just threw her cigarette butt on the ground. Just throw it anywhere. Okay, watch out. That car's coming pretty fast. And we're in Florida. Hello. And it's... What else do I need to say to set it up? Oh, first we went to the Animal Kingdom,
Starting point is 00:01:17 which was the one park here that I'd never been to. It was all the Disney parks. Yeah, neither did I. It was good. And it had some things in it. Wally Langham, unbeknownst to me, and Felicia Rashad, but I don't personally know her. I don't know Wally that well, but I know him. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Great story. He's in Dinosaur. He's in the Dinosaur ride. He's the scientist whose idea it is that we should try to bring back a dinosaur on our shuttle to the future. Apparently the shuttle to the future is just for amusement purposes. And he's like, why not just bring back a dinosaur? And then Felice Rosado's like, maybe they shouldn't fly right now because there's a meteor shower. Right. And then he flies anyway, which I was like, okay, I was a little worried about that.
Starting point is 00:02:08 But I thought, there's no way something bad would happen. Yeah, you're like, is this guy, is Wally a drunk, like in flight? Like, is he on cocaine and he's taking us into the past to try to steal a dinosaur? Right after he just had sex with a very sexy... That sounds like an idea someone on coke would have. Let's go to the past and steal a dinosaur. We should go to the past and steal a dinosaur. We should go to the past and steal a dinosaur.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Oh my God, we gotta do that right now. Right now, do it! Starting now. All right, so then we went to... Now we're on this crazy circular drive thing
Starting point is 00:02:44 that kind of puts you back towards the... What are we going to do? Jump on a highway? Yeah, we need to get on the 4 freeway. All right. To head back to... That'll take us back over to like a little hotel area. And then we're doing a show tonight at 8 o'clock at the Orlando Improv.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Yeah. The Improv. I gotta say, this Toyota Prius drives like a dream Like a dream Good gas mileage How far are we from where we're trying to go Oh I was going to talk about the other park That we went to
Starting point is 00:03:19 We went to the Hollywood They call it Disney Hollywood Studios now. It used to be MGM Disney. Right. And I've gotten to go there many, many times over the years. I guess I gravitate towards it because it's got a couple of rides that I just love. The Tower of Terror is really super fun.
Starting point is 00:03:41 And the things Graham screamed during it. He was just, he was screaming as if he was someone really trying to get the ride operator to stop making it bounce. And no one else, everyone was fine with it. It's so funny. I should have, that's what I
Starting point is 00:03:58 should have done is recorded it. I should have turned this on. I should have turned this on. That's what we're going to do tomorrow. I'm going to record you on a ride, and then I'm going to put it on the podcast so people can decide for themselves if it's wrong of me to find it absolutely insane the way you behave.
Starting point is 00:04:19 No, it is. I'm trying to save my voice, but there's nothing more fun than just yelling stupid shit. Oh, because it's one of the only places you can just scream. But it's also like most people aren't thinking, oh, how can I be witty and enjoy this plummeting at the same time? While being scared. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And being scared.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Like, we want too much at all times. Because it is scary. I was legitimately scared. And I'm voicing, I'm an expressive man, if nothing else. Oh my god. Let's scale down the Benson movie interruption. Instead of the only audience is just the people in a movie, the audience should be six
Starting point is 00:04:53 people all have to chip in to hire us to come and ride on one amusement park ride with them. And yell our stupid shit the entire time. And it'll be really hard for with them and yell our stupid shit the entire time. And, um, it'll be really hard for
Starting point is 00:05:10 anybody to make any money and, uh, it'll be so much fun to do. Yeah, it's super... No, you do not have to use your animal kingdom? Nope. I love the animal kingdom section where you get to uh go up and pet
Starting point is 00:05:29 jackie weaver academy nominated so fun oscar nominated actress jackie weaver that's what we're here for is the movie jokes folks but it turns out it's not that. You know, that's what I appreciate about Orlando is that it's quite a short drive from amusement parks to the hotel. Yeah, everything's close and nice. You get hybrid rental cars. But you'll hear a lot more about Florida over the next few episodes because we will, of course course record the Leonard Maltin game which I'm doing at the end of every stand up
Starting point is 00:06:08 show you don't have to ask me just go ahead and bring your name tag people are going to do it anyway and I always I'm a people pleasing comedian if you want it I have to do it I'm stuck with it for the rest of my life and I'm not sick of it yet though
Starting point is 00:06:23 it's always fun to watch Graham lose. You got nothing to say about that? I show up when it's game time, when it's the 12 guests of Christmas, and I do that back to back. Okay, all right. I was wondering when that was going to come up. I'm the people's champion.
Starting point is 00:06:43 When is that going to come up? The people's champion as well. Yes. What a horrible hero you are, though. Like, you go to every town and beat them at the game. Like, you just come into town and show off. I'm letting them know. Like a pro basketball player showing up at a high school and just...
Starting point is 00:07:00 Just slam dunking. Hey, guys, let's play. You punks. So, yeah, I think that's, we're pretty close to the hotel now, right? We're about eight miles away. Oh, we are? All right. Let's see what Eminem has to say about that.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I would have burst into, I don't know how, back to reality. I don't know, though, how the one goes. I'm going to take a stand. Yeah, that's what it is. I'm gonna take a stand. Take a stand. Sorry, weather. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, my God. That's horrible.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Graham Elwood, the people's champion. Oh, no. In a Baneforge. That was a horrible joke. Oh, I watched Dark Knight Rises on the plane again yesterday. It broke you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Starting point is 00:07:51 That would be painful. That movie. For you. The movie gets better every time I see it. You're insane. You're like so... I think you are to that movie
Starting point is 00:08:05 what I was to Dark Knight like I I could not I just loved it so passionately I loved them all and uh
Starting point is 00:08:14 it's a it's a good series I my thing is that I wish that Christopher Nolan had directed
Starting point is 00:08:22 this Les Mis movie I think that would have been pretty sweet. They just wouldn't have made it. And Christian Bale could have played the Russell Crowe part. Russell Crowe! Russell Crowe doesn't even have that deep of a voice in it, and he's supposed to be...
Starting point is 00:08:38 Don't get me started. Don't get me started. I can't even... Don't let me begin about it. Don't even... Girlfriend. Don't even. Don't let me begin about it. Don't even. Girlfriend. Don't even go there. I'm so bad at the gay voice or gay impression thing.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Talk to the hair. I'm just naturally gay sounding, so I can't really make fun of it. So, where's the hotel? We went on the star tours ride tell them how i i was excited for you to get to go on that because i'd done that before a couple times and uh boy is it that's a good ride it's really good they've updated i went on it years ago and they've updated it it's really cool and i i will say this you know you wear the 3d glasses and everything, I got a little motion sickness. Which, maybe that's not a bad thing. Yeah, it's an
Starting point is 00:09:30 exciting ride. It's, you know, it's next level for Star Tours. Because I miss the old Star Tours a little bit. I wish they'd just have, like, and step over here if you want to enjoy it how it used to be. But, because I thought the humor was better in the old one. And also, it's just sad to never get to go on it again, you know, but, but this new
Starting point is 00:09:49 one, if it's going to be replaced, well done, like very well done. Like I, it's really, really entertaining, you know, the physical, physical aspects of it. Like you really feel like you're flying around, but also it's, um, you know, it's got these multiple stories that can, you know, can go off in different directions, so, like, you can go on it a bunch of times, it's not the exact same ride, but that's, I'm probably boring everybody with that, everybody probably knew that already, and then we went on the Toy Story ride, which is a shooting gallery thingy, the likes of which, I've never pulled a string to shoot anything before in my life, and even when the guy described it to us before
Starting point is 00:10:31 we went on it, you're going to pull a string, I was like, what, they just have a string laying out there, and you grab it and pull it, no, it's got a ball on the end of it, like a joystick ball on the end of the string, and you wrap it in between your knuckles and you hold the ball in your palm, and you pop this little, what do you call it? It's like a pirate ship gun, you know, on the side of the ship, right? Right. That kind of thing. Really cool.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Yeah, and you just... Fun, interactive game. You pop away at it, but they also keep track of your score and tell you who in your car got the highest score, and it's a really good job on that ride. You big, massive horrible corporation. Evil empire. Evil empire.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Taking all these poor folks' money. This is really taking a horrible turn. I hope people that really love Disneyland and Disney World don't tune in. I won't label it as such. It'll just be for you 17 people who listen to this.
Starting point is 00:11:32 And who love plugs! You horrible corporation. Now, go to grandmailword.com. Let the plugs begin! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What do you got? Come to our, go to grandmelwood.com. Let the plugs begin. What do you got? I will be headlining at Zany's in downtown Chicago, February 6th through the 10th. Check that out.
Starting point is 00:12:00 And also March 13th at Zany's in Nashville. And then March 14th, 15th, 16th at The Attic in Bloomington, Indiana. Go to GrahamElwood.com for all of your comedy needs. Well, there's other places you can go also for more comedy. Yeah, and all the people who listen to this who then come see me perform with you and go, wow, you didn't look like I thought. You know, you can Google my name and find out what I look like. No, I don't. If I were you, I would wait until you come to the show and then find out what Graham Elwood looks like.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Or just, you know, watch Super Jaime for the 40th time and he's the guy who can't remember even boat. Yeah. Uh, bacon! Bacon! Bacon boat! Um, I wanted to plug... What did I wanted to plug
Starting point is 00:12:45 What did I want to plug? Seats remain for tonight At the Orlando Improv I don't know if we'll get this up Quickly enough But there are some seats for it And all my dates are at Douglovesmovies.com
Starting point is 00:13:00 Thanks for listening to Dougloves Amusement Parks Oh And as always Graham Elwood singing Eminem is a shithead I'm leaving the turn signal on as a shout out To last time we did a rental car episode Oh that's right that's right
Starting point is 00:13:16 Um Wait a second I gotta put the code in back into my phone To get back into the recording But I meant to say, I forgot to say, as always, Graham leaving me turn signal
Starting point is 00:13:31 on for way too long. We were in a thing that was going around and you were showing which way you wanted to spin around. I would even agree to the laws of decent society. I'm not a savage. Happy New Year.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.