Doug Loves Movies - Rental Car XV
Episode Date: July 30, 2012While driving to the airport Graham and Doug discuss gigs in Portland and Pittsburgh and share clips of the Leonard Maltin Game from those shows....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/pri...vacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming, maybe sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you from a rental car. What kind of car is this, Graham? Doug,
we're driving a Chevrolet Impala. Do you like it? Yeah. We've had an Impala before. Nice
big luxurious trunk. Lots of amenities. Yeah, we were listening to the Pearl Jam channel
on, was it on XM or Sirius? Yeah, 24 7 of just eddie better and it's a lot of live
concerts so it's a lot of him talking between songs it's so great to be here mike mccready
that sounds like your bane impression yeah that's my bane oh you're going to crash this plane and no one will live.
Somebody tweeted at me, how does Bane eat?
Totally.
Blows the roof off that whole movie.
How does Bane eat?
So we're driving to the Pittsburgh airport on Monday, July 30th, two oceans, 12.
Since last I spoke and you listened, I did a standup show in Portland, Oregon, uh, with, uh, Graham Elwood is here in the car with me.
We were at the helium comedy club and, uh, Sean Jordan, local phenom was also there.
And, uh, the two of you played the Leonard Maltin game
against name tag toting audience members. Yes. And let's give it a listen. Oh yeah.
Does anyone hunger for games? Alright, healing in Portland, here's what you're going to be playing for.
In the prize bag tonight, we have, it's all C's all the time,
we've got Bram Elwood's new Longstrike Dance Party.
We've got my new one, Smug Life.
And we've got my very first one, Doug Benson's Professional Ingradient.
And if you don't win tonight they're all
available on the
internet for you
to not purchase
whatever you're
into
so did you guys
anybody bring
name tags tonight
anybody bring
some sort of
shit
oh Chris has
like a Jaws
thing going on
and some sort
of cookie
vegan
a vegan
oh gluten free
cookie ground oh shit gluten free cookie and what's in that bag right there beef jerky going on and some sort of cookie? Vegan. A vegan? Oh, gluten-free cookie, Graham.
Oh, shit.
Gluten-free cookie.
And what's in that bag right there?
Beef jerky.
Beef jerky?
No.
At least there's peanut butter cups.
What's in that one?
This is delicious.
There are eating things inside of this right here.
Oh, no.
I got trouble.
Well, pick who you guys want to play for.
Let's have Graham go first.
Graham will pick somebody.
Right here, gluten-free meat.
Come on, dude.
Get up here, dude.
Come on, Nathan.
Come on up here.
I've had both of these gluten-free meat products.
They're fucking awesome.
I can't stand alone in that.
All right, gluten-free Nathan.
You're going to go head-to-head with Graham
and we're going to play one round
of the Leonard Moulton game. We'll see how you do
and then we'll have somebody compete against Sean
and whoever does better will win the
prizes.
I'm using my Leonard Moulton app and
as always, if you think you know
the answer, you guys, don't shout out. This is just between
Graham and Nathan.
Nathan gets to pick a category. Would you like
Jack-offed?
Which is
motion pictures where Jack Nicholson
dies?
Or, Entertainment Weekly
recently did an article, the 50 most
underrated movies of
the last two decades.
So yes, these are kind of obscure movies, underrated movies. Or last two decades. So yes, these are kind of obscure
movies, underrated movies. Or, celebrating a birthday today, Joey from Friends,
Matt LeBlanc, turns something, and so, and he's been in a few films, so it's the films of Matt LeBlanc. Which one of those would you like to play, Nathan?
Jackoff.
I almost forgot that was a category.
I thought you were just
making suggestions.
Because we are four dudes on a stage
like we're the cast of Magic Mike.
Because that's what they do in that movie.
They jerk off on people.
You should check it out.
I saw it with my mom.
Okay.
I wish I was kidding.
The year of this movie where Jack Nicholson dies is 1969.
Holy shit.
Three and a half stars from Leonard Moulton.
And he says about this movie that it was written by three dudes.
And two of them are in the movie.
And the motion picture also has a great rock soundtrack.
And he lists nine names.
How many names do you think you can guess the name of this movie in, Nathan?
It came out about 40 years before you were born.
I'm going to go with two.
Two names?
Wow, that's what he did. How was that, Graham? I'm going to go two. Two nays? Wow, what are you gonna do with that, Graham?
I'm gonna go zero.
Zero nays.
I mean, look at him when you say it.
He would get his eyes about it.
He fucking knows he's a zero.
I'm looking for my next opponent.
Alright, Nathan, what are you gonna do with that?
Name him.
Okay, so, does the movie Easy Rider mean...
Yes, that's correct Does the movie Easy Rider be in it?
That's correct, it's Easy Rider.
So, do I get to keep the gluten-free stuff?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
There you go, take our selfie.
Nathan, thank you so much.
I'm seeing you.
Nice to meet you, Nathan.
What do you do for a living?
Are you not on stage anymore?
Thanks for bringing the treats, you guys.
I forgot to interview him.
Okay, Sean, now you pick somebody.
You had it up the whole time.
Get up here, red shirt.
It sucks because it's like the worst sign here.
He had it up the whole time.
That's some gangster shit. Just hold it up the whole time.
So, yeah, man.
Yeah, he's persistent. There we go. That's some gangster shit, just holding up the whole time. So, yeah, man. Yeah, he's persistent.
Yep, there we go.
That's always exciting.
Come on, son.
Don't yell at me, dude.
Alright, so stand over there.
What is that?
What does the sign say?
It's got a lot of words on it.
It's a big cardboard thing.
It says, pick Garrett or go gently fuck yourself.
I love Portland. Like, or go gently fuck yourself. I just felt Portland.
Like, could you gently fuck yourself?
Could you just
fly fucking off
just a little bit?
I fuck myself, but it's nothing gentle
about it.
And his name is Garrett.
Garrett. I'm pronouncing it right.
Okay, good. I don't know a name like Garrett. Garrett, I'm pronouncing it right. Okay, good.
I don't know a name like Garrett.
Could go on and on.
Okay.
Garrett, which one of these categories would you like to play?
Would you like Hasta La Vista Maybe?
That's movies where Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't kill anyone.
Or Moonrise Condom?
That's movies where somebody has sex in space. Or
Bottomless Pit. That's movies where Brad Pitt eats. And that's pretty much every Brad Pitt
movie, when you think about it. He's always snacking.
At least he may be. Two put two dicks in his mouth.
That wasn't part of the suggestion, was it?
No, but you guys did put two dicks in his mouth.
We did gently though.
It's that kind of part of it.
It's that kind of part of it, you're right. That's how it goes.
Why did you give it to him?
Because he's guessing, right?
Well, he's competing against you, so you should be involved too.
So share the microphone.
Young man, never give up the microphone.
This is like your samurai sword.
It's your katana.
It's an extension.
Look at me.
It's an extension of your body. Sounds! It is an extension of a katana.
Sounds like somebody else has asked you for two days to stand up.
I don't like it.
Alright, raise up.
Alright.
This is the first time I've been between two jealous men.
Easy!
Wow. That's why I don't get a microphone. This joke just fucking landed on a goddamn cloud of dirt.
Because nobody could hear him.
That's why I don't give up your microphone!
Goddamn, you said you liked it!
What the fuck are you saying?
Thanks for coming out here. Appreciate it.
Alright, this movie is from 2004.
Arnold doesn't kill anybody, but he's in it.
And Leonard gives this movie one
and a half stars. He says that this movie is a British-Irish-German production, whatever
that means. And he also says that Schwarzenegger wears a funny wig. And he lists 17 names.
How many names do you think you can get in, Garrett?
16.
Easy, Paul.
Put your teeth away, Garrett.
That's a smart opening, man.
I'm going to say a gentleman's 10.
A gentleman's 10, ladies and gentlemen.
Garrett's thinking.
I'm getting more gentler man's nine.
Oooh, the gentlest of all men.
This is sportsmanship at its finest.
Yeah, who needs the fucking Olympics when you've got a gentleman leaning on something?
Sometimes you need to spray the thing over his shoulder.
You know what I mean?
Put a hand up his face and a gentleman's top draped.
I'm going to say, I'm going to look at you and I'm going to say eight when I do it.
You need to be honest with me, boy.
I said eight.
I'm going to say ace when I do it. You're out of the playboy. I said ace. I'm going to say name it because you cannot.
Wow.
Uh-oh, hoodie's coming off.
The hoodie's coming off.
Shit.
How the fuck is Rollins from Sioux Falls on his name?
605 on this bitch.
We don't know.
Fighting out of Portland by way of Sioux Falls,
Sean the Mexicutioner Jordan.
I've never heard of this city called Red Phoenix, so I'm just gonna assume it's a beautiful place.
I'm just gonna get my own background name in this movie, by the way.
How many names do you get? Eight?
Eight names. Eight right. Nine.
Nine.
Eight. Eight.
Eight.
Eight.
Eight.
Eight.
Here's your eight names.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kathy Bates, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Rob Schneider, Sammo Hung, Macy
Gray, and John Cleese.
What the fuck movie is that?
Don't say it, you know it.
It's all about Sean.
Do you want to guess?
Just name a movie that had Arnold in it.
Obviously not a particularly large role. I can't think of one without a large role
Nothing funny about that
Well it's 2004
So it was around the time that his political career
Was swinging
It's not a very good hit so I can't do it
The motion picture
I'll tell you the rest of the people in it
Will Forte, Mark Addy, Karen Joy Morris
Ian McNeice Ewan Bremer motion picture. I'll tell you the rest of you will win it. Will Forte, Mark Addy, Karen Joy Morris,
Ian McNeice,
Ewan Bremmer,
Jim Broadbent,
Cecilia DeFrance,
Steve Coogan,
Steve Coogan,
and Jackie Chan.
It's called Around the World in 80 Days.
Garrett is our winner. There you go, Garrett.
Congratulations, Garrett.
There you go, buddy.
Let's hear it for Garrett.
He took it down to Chinatown.
Congratulations to you,
and thank you to you, gentlemen, for participating as well. Thank you so much, Portland!
That was a fun show.
Yeah, Garay really pulled it out.
He's come to multiple shows in Portland, I believe.
Speaking of pulling out, it was great when the Bachelorette Party left.
Doug Benson, everybody.
Two shows on Friday. Attention,
bachelorette parties, do not come to
comedy clubs. Don't. Why?
You ruin it for everyone.
If you want to sit and talk and
giggle and fuck around, just go
to a bar. Go see Magic Mike.
Yeah, go see Magic Mike and finger bang
yourself. So just stay out of a comedy
club. If you do go to a comedy club,
don't disrupt the show and try to make it all about you. Shut up. It's annoying. It's stupid. And no
comic gets excited for bachelorette parties. Yeah. Be quiet and eat your cock cake. Yeah.
On Thursday, Graham and I appeared on AM Northwest, which we always like to do when we're in the area with my old buddy Dave Anderson.
And that night I saw Fiona Apple.
One of her a day keeps the doctor away, something like that.
And then Friday, Graham and I flew to Pittsburgh.
You didn't see any movies in Portland, did you, Graham?
No, I did not.
Okay.
I just want to be clear about that.
I saw a couple in Pittsburgh.
Yeah, we'll talk about that.
We flew to Pittsburgh.
We did a 420 show at the Improv in West Homestead, Pennsylvania at the Waterfront.
And so, yeah, let's listen to that Leonard Bolton game.
It's a good one.
Does anybody hunger for games?
All right, let's see some name tags, you guys.
I know there's some fancy ones.
I saw them on the internet today.
Oh, look at all these candy bars.
I've got to
read this one aloud, Graham.
Magic Mike, it says at the top, and it's a review.
Steven Soderbergh earned his payday with the Three Musketeers.
Their dancing is nothing to Snickers at.
Gentlemen, watch out for pumping, whatchamacallit.
Who knows, she may let you Butterfinger the good and plenty to the Milky Way.
let you butterfinger the good and plenty to the milky way.
By Kate. That's Kate.
Made that huge sign with all of those candies on it.
So now I am hungry,
and I have even less interest in seeing Magic Mike.
Because if somebody gets butterfingered by Matthew McConaughey,
I don't want to see it.
You'd be like,
You got the light
aquatic with Steve
and you put your face
on the cover.
That one says
Empire Strikes Match.
Wow, you can see that?
Yeah.
It's way over there.
And I saw,
he tweeted that one today
and I saw it.
There's a number one finger
with the Doug Loves Movies
logo on it.
There's some good ones,
you guys.
There's a...
Thank you for not being
Fort Worth, Texas.
Where I was sorely
disappointed.
This is an embarrassment of riches, Graham.
You're going to have to pick somebody.
She's putting her candy bar
thing down. She's tired of holding it up.
Oh, she wants to
write a shithead on the back.
All right, we'll go with this candy bar one.
That was very good.
Come on up here.
You don't get it.
Yes, you.
Yeah, show us.
It's coming up.
Show everybody.
Give it a hand, Jamie.
Here we go.
Share it on your Instagram.
I know.
Ow!
That's impressive, guys.
That's very nice.
That's what a stoner can do in their spare time,
right there.
That is fucking stoner technology.
She made this one, too.
Oh, she made both of your signs?
Wow, you're a little arts and crafts woman, aren't you?
Teacher.
Oh, she's a teacher on something great, all right.
I'm a proper teacher, I gotta be.
Wait, what was that?
I don't know.
Just dance and whistle if all else fails.
People are going, oh no!
It's going to happen.
That whistling is unbearable.
Okay, she can put that down.
I know it's heavy.
It's full of calories.
But you get to pick a category.
Do you know how to play the game?
A little, yes.
She listened to a show last night making that.
Oh, okay.
She's going to get so up.
You never know, though.
You never know.
This game, you don't necessarily...
Wow.
That is a one cocky player.
Putting your foot on somebody's table.
She's asleep now.
She's like,
I did it, but I can't read.
Can't read, but...
Yeah, people are going to eat off of that.
The next show.
Okay, would you like to play...
Which one of these categories would you like, Kate?
Would you like... Entertainment Weekly recently did the 50 most underrated movies of the last two decades?
So, movies from that list.
Or, the loudest fan suggested on Twitter, In Your Face, which is movies where someone wears a mask of someone else's face.
At some point during the film. Or celebrating
a birthday today, aside from you, aside from Steve, is a young actress who goes by the
name of Elizabeth Berkley. You may know her best as Nomi Malone in Showgirls. And that's
not the movie I chose,
but the category is Elizabeth Berkley Films.
And of course, Saved by the Bell was not a film.
So which one of those would you like to play, Kate?
Face.
Face, okay.
The safe one.
Give me the safe one.
The safe one.
This movie where someone wears someone else's face
for a certain period of time in the film is from the year 2000.
Leonard Baldwin gives it two and a half stars.
He calls this movie frothy and high energy.
And he also says it was followed by a sequel.
And he lists 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 names.
12 names. 12 names.
13 names.
What is a dog now?
I'm going to settle on 13.
I'm going to stay at 13.
I can name it in 12 names.
12 names.
That's smart.
I almost stepped on your green light.
And your sign. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, shit! He's giving you ten names.
I think he's going to be able to name it.
I'm sorry to say, but thank you for bringing the beautiful sign, Kate.
In fact, you can probably just go back to your seat.
Well, you are a master strategist, Kate.
Okay, the names are John Forsythe, Tom Green, Luke Wilson, LL Cool J, Crispin Glover, Kelly Lynch, Sam Rockwell, Matt LeBlanc, Tim Curry.
How many names did you get?
Ten.
Tim Curry and Bill Murray.
Charlie's Angels.
That's correct.
He still says it like he's amazing or something.
I'm fucking amazing, Tim Mays.
Can you handle that, Pipsqueak?
Double digit A.
I'm going to ship him.
Thank you, Cade.
Congratulations to Cade for getting to play.
And write down on a napkin or something somebody for me to call a shithead.
So I will do that for you. Just write it down somewhere.
Or do you already have it here? Just write it down on something and we'll do that for you.
We've got to pick another player.
Someone that has a concept of strategy.
And it's not something you say, it's a solo game, don't fight your own.
I love the gram.
You know the scene I'm talking about, the face change thing?
Yeah, LL Cool J.
In the beginning of the movie, she's LL Cool J.
Drew Barrymore is LL Cool J.
And then she pulls the mask off.
And then later in that same movie, she and Cameron Diaz go undercover as men.
And they just put on mustaches.
They look like two ladies with mustaches on.
Like I guess the mask shop was closed that day
and they couldn't get an LL Cool J mask.
Who are you gonna pick, Ram?
Alright, that sun is lighting up way in the back.
You can come up here. You better be good.
Somebody just brought their...
It's Clark Griswold, he just brought some lights from his house.
From Christmas Vacation.
Oh, now it's making more sense as it gets closer.
Oh, that's delightful.
Show everybody.
Cough and smoke!
I think that's it.
And then she just put Liz on top of there.
I'm a sucker for no flashing lights.
Alright Liz, you get to pick a category.
Would you like...
In theaters, ciao!
That's movies that take place in Italy.
Or...
Mad props. movies that take place in Italy. Or Mad Props. Mad Props is movies where at some point in
the film someone is killed by a propeller. Or, and this is one that everyone always refuses
to play, and someday someone's going to come up here and they're going to nail it.
Kangaroo Jack City.
That's,
Phil's where Ice-T plays a kangaroo.
I'm going to go with Mad Props.
Mad Props. Mad Props City,
that's what it is.
The rest of the game,
Mad Props.
You know what,
I just want to end this
Kangaroo Jack City category
because nobody ever picks it.
You don't even pick it.
You can go do some research, come back, pick it.
What is it?
It's called Tank Girl.
Tank Girl, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
With Laurie Petty?
Mm-hmm.
Jesus.
I don't think Jesus is in it.
It's just a kangaroo and Laurie Petty.
I think it's who he is.
All right, this is a movie from 1981
where at some point somebody meets their demise
via a propeller on a plane.
Four stars from Leonard Maldon.
He calls this movie a rollercoaster ride,
and he says it was followed by two films and
a TV series, and he lists nine names.
How many names can you get in this?
I can get in five.
That's a solid number.
So how about zero me?
Praise the elephant, gentlemen, in the audience when they go to the sandwich.
Naked one?
Naked one, she said!
There's some mad scientist in the back.
I hear this.
What happened?
Do you think rocks was my idea?
Do you think only mad scientists laugh?
Like, who, the happy scientists also have a joke?
I think the happy scientists are just too focused on getting shit done for the betterment of society.
It's like, oh, we got this done.
Mad scientists are like, you're an evil planet.
They're dicks. Mad scientists are like, you're an evil planet. They're dicks.
Mad scientists are dicks.
What's your, uh, where are you going to go with this, Graham?
You're stalling.
I guess.
I'll give you three seconds.
I'll give you seven more seconds.
Three, two, one.
Say negative two or name it.
Name it.
What's the movie, Liz?
It's Reign of the Lost Ark.
And who's the top-billed person in Reign of the Lost Ark?
Harrison Ford.
You win!
You win! You win!
You win! You win!
You win!
Who's the guy I know?
Who's the guy I know? Who's the guy I know?
Who's the guy I know?
I wasn't sure. I knew that's what you were thinking about.
I was going to spend all day
trying to think of characters.
Well, I took a cup of coffee
at the coffee and coffee party at the table there, the Birch Tableback,
and I brought copies of two of my novels, Smuggly Island, so I'll keep reading.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and congratulations on your new copy!
Grandma, thank you!
Grandma, thank you! And, oh good, of course, that's a terrific one. That's a perfect one to end the show with.
Thank you guys so much for coming.
Come say hi to us at our merch table.
And as always, James Holmes is the world's biggest
shithead.
Well, as we
enter a tunnel here in the
Pittsburgh area,
it was only a matter of time, Graham, before
somebody chose James
Holmes as their shithead.
Yep.
Completely fucked up in the head, shithead.
Yeah, it's like so horrible on so many levels.
So you got to do a fun thing, though, on Saturday after our show.
You went to, you went and watched a movie in a park with a bunch of families, like some sort of creep?
Yeah, it did not dawn on me that it was creepy that i was alone in a park with families until
afterwards but i went and saw the muppets so uh someone after the show was like oh they do movies
in the park and you should go check that out so i just googled it because we had a 420 show
and i drove to this park i forget the name of it that kind of sits up on a hill and looks down so
you had the sun setting and all, and the whole Pittsburgh skyline.
I even posted, look at the crazy traffic going the other way, other way, bad traffic. Yeah. We're
going the good way, going the good way friends. Um, yeah. And you liked the Muppets. Yeah. I hadn't
seen the movie. It was nice. You know, I mean, I obviously, uh, I'm a little partial to the
original one that came out when I was a kid, but it was decent.
I would have preferred more Muppet singing, more group singing.
I know, right? It kind of is set up as a musical, and then most of the numbers are just one person or one Muppet singing something sad.
Yeah, it's all sad stuff. That's why you see it, is the whole Muppet team belting it out.
Yeah, the whole team belting it out yeah the whole team belting it out team belt now let's listen to the sunday show that we did at the pittsburgh improv at 4 20.
does anyone does anyone hunger for games game. Congratulations, everyone!
Thank you!
Wow,
NASCAR.
Alright,
so,
did anybody bring name tags
on this
official afternoon?
That's a nice
one.
Chris made a
nice name tag.
We got some
back there.
Oh,
this girl just
wants to show
some side food
out here.
I'll take that.
What is this complicated creature over here?
That is like some sort of spaceship, right?
Or a helicopter?
Side moves?
Side moves?
Yeah, we heard you.
Can't wait to see him after the show. And then, uh,
that says Alex on it.
That's Boa Vets, sir?
Yeah, yeah, Boa Vets then.
That's what he gets around.
He stands here on like a sumo wrestler with Jason right on the belly.
That's what most qualified sumo wrestlers have.
You guys are some very crazy stuff.
Oh, we might have funnier
with a couple good ones.
What's that supposed to mean?
I'm sleeping in that.
And then I shot Andy Warhol Ghost Protocol. That's a good definition of a title on that movie.
So who do you want to play against, Graham?
Oh my god, this is so, so much fun.
I'm getting inspired. Let's go with B so, so much fun. This is fun.
Let's go home with that song.
Alright, well, uh,
the prize bag has got a, uh,
Smug Life CD and a professional humoridian,
and then also,
also, you could win this, Alex.
You could win a, uh, t-shirt. Yesterday,. You could win a t-shirt.
Yesterday, some guys gave me a t-shirt.
I have one.
You already have this shirt?
Oh, my God.
My friend made them.
Your friend Brad?
Yeah.
Microphone.
And don't touch it.
Just let Graham shove it in your mouth.
Well, I should go up and take this one in my mouth.
Near his mouth.
It doesn't have to go in.
All right, great.
But anyway, your friend Brad made these?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
I want to give him proper credit because I forgot who gave it to me.
Yesterday, Brad gave me one of these.
It's a large, so it's too small for me, but it's a cool Gotham shirt.
And he said he raised $1,500 for the comedian Caleb that was, yeah,
from the Colorado Shooties.
He raised all that money with his shirt, so that's cool.
Go to CalebMedley.com backscore help if you want to donate to his cause.
And I don't know the update on how he's doing, so I hope he's doing better.
But let's play the later Malden game with Alex and Brian.
You've got a cool name tag,
and that's what we're here to do right now.
And you get to pick from three categories.
I'll give you three options.
And of course, you guys, if you know it in the audience,
don't yell out that it's just between Alex and Graham.
And your three category options are...
Oh, polite handshake.
Nice.
Is he the generalist?
No, he's not.
Yes, he is.
All right.
Batshit42 suggested on Twitter,
I'm so Thor,
and that's movies where someone has a lisp.
I'm so Thor.
And PopCulturePoint suggested also Expendable
which is movies featuring anyone
from the cast of the Expendables
movies or
iFlosey
suggested World According to LARP
which is
movies that have role playing
in them
otherwise known as LARPing
I'll go with World According to LARP
World According to LARP says that we've got a LARPing. I'll go with World According to LARP. World According to LARP, says Alex.
Oh, shit.
We've got a LARP around the stage, everybody.
This is so dumb, dude.
That's bullshit.
We're going to LARP around loosely.
With security at the front door like,
sir, you can't bring that dust buster into the club.
We've got our own ways that we clean.
All the fat
and damn pirate's dust buster
will go.
Okay, this movie has role-playing in it,
and two and a half stars from
Leonard, and he says about the movie
that it is
formulaic and juvenile, and he also says, this is one of my favorite clues to give because it's so not helpful,
the unrated version runs 101 minutes.
What year?
Terrible clue. 2008. And there are, he lists five, six, seven, 8, 10 names, looks like about.
Yeah, 10 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Alex?
Eight.
Eight's a good, strong opening bid.
Knocked off two names.
Seven.
Seven.
Five.
Five from Alex.
Graham's going to jump around for a little bit.
Get up, get up, get down.
Five names.
What are you going to do?
Name that movie.
Oh!
You almost had to use the upper block on him.
He's coming at you.
That's a little aggressive.
I'm sorry.
I don't know if you can tell me that in his face.
All right.
Would you like the clues again, Alex?
Yeah.
Two and a half stars.
It's got role playing in it.
2008.
Formulated juvenile.
And the unrated version runs 101 minutes.
Unrated version.
You get five names.
Okay.
Here are your five names.
David Wayne,
Ken Jeong,
Kerry,
Kenny Silver,
Ken Marino,
and Jane Lynch.
What's it called?
Roller.
Roller is correct.
And now we took him down
to Chinatown.
There you go.
You win all that stuff.
And also,
thanks to Alex for playing.
And Graham is also going to give you a copy of his CD.
Paul's Drag Dance Party.
Paul's Drag Dance Party.
Wow, that was efficient.
He took you right down.
He's very much a dust buster in terms of his kind of alt-envoy.
That's like when you watch the UFC and they have all that build-up to the main fight and it's like,
every second, he goes,
Okay, thanks for coming everybody. Please.
He just fucking tapped me off. He just went over there and he's like,
Hey, I'm gonna go home with you.
You went to the movies in the park last night?
Yes.
I'll fit in some park or find a thing
that goes down to the whole city.
Oh, that park over on the thing?
Yeah, park over the thing.
They showed them up in the movie.
Yeah?
Did you have a good time?
It was decent.
Yeah.
Cute songs?
Cute songs.
Dance covers?
Yeah.
Me there alone with a bunch of families.
That was pretty big haul.
Did you make up a kid or two while you were there?
I sold on the internet.
Did people look at you like, what are you doing here? No. No.
They were cool, didn't they? I just felt weird.
I kept wanting to like, I'd just, I'd cry all for like, a half. I wanted to explain it to everybody that came in.
Because I was like, oh sweet, I'll go to the movies all the time when I travel.
And at some point in the middle, it's like, he's running around with families and he's got a picnic basket.
And I'm like, this looks fucking weird.
Listen you guys, I need to explain something.
I travel from town to town myself, so you gotta understand that I miss seeing people in a park.
Watching people with hands on their asses and puppets.
That's why I didn't explain anything.
I travel from town to town with a windowless van.
I have toys and chloroform in it, and candy, but I pose no threat to you, Forrest and Pittsburgh.
When the movie's over, will you help me put a chair in the back of that van?
I just need like five or seven kids to help out.
It's too heavy for adults with bad bags.
Oh, my God.
Everybody want to go to the swimming pool?
My God, it is so great, man.
Put the whole thing in the water.
Oh, I can't go with everybody. So congratulations to Alex and his Boba Fett spaceship.
It's Boba Fett Dustbuster.
Yeah.
And congratulations to the people of Pittsburgh for being awesome. That was great. my two great shows that was a fun weekend i have never been here never performed here and
it was great and i very much look forward to coming back yeah look at this goddamn weather
today this is fucking gorgeous here right now i was i was like sitting in my hotel room this
morning looking out the window at the river and just thinking I could stay here for longer.
Yeah, it was really cool.
It was nice.
Yeah, I like it.
And you saw a movie yesterday night?
I saw Step Up Revolution, Doug, is what I saw.
Oh, so you didn't see a movie.
You saw a revolution.
I did see a revolution.
And I guess I was wrong.
Flash mobs can save a community.
And I guess I was wrong.
Flash mobs can save a community.
Why do you have to just be busting out spoilers left and right about Step Up Revolution?
I put this on Twitter, too.
This is a huge spoiler alert.
There's a big dance number at the end of the movie.
So it's not a failed revolution? No, no.
You're telling us before we even see it that the revolution is a success?
They should call this Occupy Dance Street.
Oh, no.
All right, well, but, so, do you recommend it?
What about the 3D version? You saw it in 2D.
I saw it in 2D. I don't know what 3D would bring to this.
I have no idea.
But if you like, I mean, there's some
really cool dance numbers, and if you like, you know, a bunch of 20-somethings all posturing
with trying to be Channing Tatum faces, looking like badasses and going, you know, man, you
just don't get it. You know, if you want a lot of that dialogue, this movie's for you.
You know, Channing Tatum himself is enough Channing Tatum face for me.
Yeah.
You know, I saw Magic Mike with my mother, of course.
But I like that guy.
I think he's good.
I like him, too.
But you're right.
I could see where everyone else would be just trying to be him instead of, you know.
He's definitely a natural.
Do you have any plugs, Graham, before we go?
Yeah, the Comedy Film Nerd Guide to Movies with a foreword by Douglas Bunsen
is available at ComedyFilmNerds.com.
Myself and Chris Mancini, I will be headlining Helium in Philadelphia
September 5 through 8.
On September 6 we will be doing a live comedy film nerd show from the Helium.
And September 11th a live comedy film nerd show at the Improv in Brea, California.
Speaking of California, are we there yet?
That took a while.
I'll be at, I'll be at Hilarity.
Shut your fucking mouth.
God damn it.
That was a plug-a-thon.
Oh, God.
I'll be at, I got quite a few myself.
I'll be at Hilarity's in Cleveland.
Listen to Doug and Graham read off dates.
You like calendars?
I'll be at Hilarity's in Cleveland Thursday, August 2nd at 9.45
with the charming and talented Mr. David Huntsberger,
and he and I will also be at the Toledo Improv August 4 and 5 at 4.20.
Let's see if Toledo can top Pittsburgh for awesomeness.
And don't forget the August 12th Douglas Movies taping,
and thank you, Graham.
Thank you, Doug.
And as always,
senseless violence
is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug
to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold,
his viewing prowess
makes him cocky.
There's no room
in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies!