Doug Loves Movies - Rich Sommer, Matt Braunger and Baron Vaughn guest
Episode Date: October 11, 2015Live from the Hell Yes Fest in New Orleans, Doug welcomes Rich Sommer, Matt Braunger and Baron Vaughn to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Noti...ce at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azotoc or curbles in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves Louise Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is Love of Movies!
That's probably the loudest one ever.
Especially considering the size of the crowd.
There's a lot of people here,
but I've heard, like, 1,200 people be less loud than you guys.
Coming to you for the first time from...
Cafe Istanbul...
as part of the Hell Yes Fest
in New Orleans, Louisiana!
New Orleans, Louisiana!
It's 10 p.m.-ish on Thursday, October 8th,
and I'd like to see those name tags.
I had a feeling there'd be some good ones.
I did not expect someone to drop down from the balcony like that.
That's pretty exciting.
We got Armageddon.
And you got Bruce Willis and me and you on the poster.
As it should have been.
Quan Tim of Solace.
You guys know each other?
And you're both named Tim?
And you had to sit around going,
which movie are you going to take?
I'll take Quantum of Solace.
Solace.
And then you may put my face on the lady.
I'm a Bond girl, everybody.
There's a Curious George that's all lit up, I assume.
Oh, okay. Sorry.
Jesus, you are
furious.
Furious, I got it wrong. What's in that
little bag thing that you got there?
Beignets.
Instead of donuts. I like it.
I like it.
And the guy from the jerk
is here with his cans.
He wears a whole costume, you guys.
You need to step up your shit.
He hates these cans.
There's a young Steffenstein that's lit up back there.
Stevenstein?
Steffenstein?
Good job.
And then I saw that Top Gun on the internet today,
and I do not care for Tom Cruise's hairstyle
on a picture of me where I'm super stoned
and one eye's practically closed.
I could never be a fighter pilot like him.
Alright, thanks you guys for bringing all that stuff.
Oh, there's full Meza jacket from last night.
Good to see you again.
Las Vegas,
Douglas Movies is coming back to the Plaza Hotel
this Saturday at 4.20.
And then Denver,
Tampa, Nashville, Houston,
New York City, Raleigh, Portland, Oregon,
sorry, Portland, Maine,
and San Diego
are all getting Douglas Movies tapings
between now and the end of the year.
And it will be up to them
to top you guys in enthusiasm
and I don't know if they'll be able to do it.
This is also the latest at night
I've ever done a Doug Loves Movies.
I'm usually too stone tired by this point.
But all of my dates and deets
are at DougLovesemovies.com.
That's douglosemovies.com.
I got a prize bag!
Full of garbage!
No, there's some good stuff in here, you guys.
There's a copy of Savage Henry magazine.
Promotional tool CD by
yours truly. Some really fun
weed related
postcardery.
This thing that's like you can put your weed in it
but it's also a grinder.
A t-shirt. I should
say a tank.
A man tank I think they called it.
For Mid-City Pizza. I should say a tank. A man tank, I think they called it. For
mid-city pizza.
They're nice to
provide us with some pizza backstage.
I don't know what you were just yelling,
but I'd like to ask you to never do it again.
Really loud, and I couldn't tell
what he was saying.
And, you guys, I brought it all the way from Los Angeles.
Somebody's going to get a schmovie!
Oh, wait, this is maybe the best thing.
I mean, to me, the schmovie's pretty cool.
But also, a Taylor Swift keychain. Which as you can see, the keychain, these are good
items to have together. The keychain and my album cover both look pretty much the same.
Because I stole the look of her album cover for my album. And Hell Yes Fest has a lot of great comics,
and also New Orleans is also a place
where motion pictures and stuff are being filmed,
because I'm sure they're getting tax breaks or something.
Because I'm pretty sure the movie that he's working on isn't...
We'll get into it with him when he gets out here.
But please give a big, warm welcome
to Baron Vaughn, Matt Bronger, and Rich
Sommer!
Mmm!
Hot dog.
Wow, looky there.
If you had only seen the Three Stooges physical comedy bit,
we did when he said all of our names.
Like, what? Oh, all of us?
We thought we were coming out one at a time.
And we just, all at once,
crushed against each other.
You guys made it, though. We did. You're here. Thanks, all at once, crushed against each other. You guys made it though.
We did.
You're here.
Thanks.
Let's start from closest to me.
It's Baron Vaughn, everybody.
Co-host of the
Molten on Movies podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you became on movies podcasts. Yeah. Yeah. And
you became
friends with Leonard, I guess?
Yeah, yeah, we're friendly.
Yeah.
Cool.
You get along?
We do get along.
Not a lot of high fives.
Wait, how do you greet each other?
Handshakes.
Do you always up with a...
Low fives, three pumps.
And you're performing here at the Hell Yes Fest.
You have a set that's like...
I appreciate you being here
because you're going to have to walk across the street
and go straight on stage.
To the Hi-Ho.
Hi-Ho.
So you're going to have to, like,
go on, like, right away over there.
Yeah, basically, hi-ho, and it's off to work I go.
Yeah.
So thank you for that,
and we want to tell the audience here
that, you know, if you want to run across the street
and see Barron do stand-up, please do.
Like, we'll do, do like a flash mob thing
where we'll all just go over there
after we're done here.
Sounds like three people are on board.
And sitting in the middle tonight,
we've got Rich Sommer, everybody.
Hi, Doug.
Has anyone ever told you
your name sounds like a movie
about the Hamptons?
It's a great idea.
I'm going to license it.
I like it.
And you, of course,
also have a podcast,
but it's about board games.
That's right.
And what's it called?
Cardboard.
Cardboard with Rich Summer. It's been a little bit of a break. Oh, it's on a break? Yeah, it's coming back. It's right. And what's it called? Cardboard. Cardboard with Rich Summer.
It's been a little bit of a break.
Oh, it's on a break?
Yeah, it's coming back.
It's going to come back.
Because you're busy here in New Orleans making a major motion picture with Woody Harrelson
called LBJ, in which he plays the title role.
That's correct.
It's called LBJ?
It is.
Okay.
And you're in it, and it's directed by Rob Reiner.
Uh-huh.
And how long have you been here for this?
I've been here for two weeks.
I'm here for three weeks more,
and I have worked for probably a grand total of,
I'm going to go 82 minutes.
And I think I am staring down the barrel
of a solid
45 more in the next three weeks.
I work one day per week for the next three weeks.
And you're guessing that's going to end up
in how much screen time in the movie?
Oh, all told, like even fuzzy
out of focus? Yeah.
Three minutes.
Can you tell us who you play?
Are you a historical figure?
Yes, Pierre Salinger, who was Kennedy's press secretary
and then LBJ sort of inherited him for about four months.
Oh, okay.
Yep.
Sounds great.
He's described in the script as the heavyset press secretary.
So I knew I had a shot.
The heavyset secretary.
That's what it should say
in the titles.
That's right.
Well, that worked out great
that you were in town
and you reached out to me
and said, let's do it.
I was so happy you were going to be here,
but I did forget to bring something
for the bag.
However, hold on.
Shut up, Jesus Christ.
I haven't finished.
Give him a second.
Oh, how could you?
Love of Christ.
So I want to offer this up for the winner.
Whoever wins, give me your address.
I'm going back to L.A. to see my wife and children for five minutes.
My wife.
My wife.
And I will send you in the post a board game out of my collection.
So we'll talk about the kind of games you like.
We'll pick one that you like, and I'll send it to you.
Yeah, you get to have a conversation with him about what you want him to send you in the mail.
Yeah.
Well, that's above and beyond.
We'll do it as we're running across the street to Barron's show.
Hey, my drink appeared magically.
Thank you very much, Cafe Estimbul,
for this vodka soda.
And we've got, on the end,
bringing it home, Matt Bronger.
Hey, Dave.
Thank you.
From one of the...
I mean, Cardboard and Malton on Movies,
those are catchy titles, but Matt has one of the, I mean, Cardboard and Malton on Movies, those are catchy titles.
But Matt has one of my favorite podcast titles.
Because it's Ding Donger with Matt Bronger.
That's right.
Very dignified.
Yeah.
I love it.
It's elegant.
Yeah, and you're also performing here at the festival.
You did a set on this very stage earlier this evening.
Yep, yep.
And they almost canceled this show because you brought the house down.
Nah. And they had to do a lot of repairs. No, yep. And they almost canceled this show because you brought the house down. Nah.
And they had to do
a lot of repairs.
Well, there was some,
but Neil Hamburger,
who I co-headlined with,
threw his drink,
one of his three drinks,
into a dipshit's face
sitting right there.
Really?
And it's one of the best
things I've ever seen.
Oh, he was just
a coked-out shithead
with the mind of a child.
And... Mwah! Oh wow oh yeah none of it
just you think you can interrupt my eyes i'm just the back like oh in my wildest dreams
it was incredible it was incredible do you think there, ice in it, or do you think it all melted? There was ice.
Awesome.
Just chunks of ice in your face.
Full. Full drink.
That can't be good when you're coked up.
No.
Especially when you're like, yeah, vodka, and it's just water.
You know?
Just a stage drink.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Probably he doesn't have real alcohol in there.
Well, who knows?
I think he does every other.
What?
Neil.
He has, like, a thing of vodka. Water, vodka.? I think he does every other. Neil. He has like a thing of vodka.
Water, vodka.
Because he drinks from it. Yeah.
But he holds like three of them at the same time.
During his entire set.
Yes, and drains them all. It's amazing.
That's genius.
I should get water every other drink now that you
mentioned it. It's actually a good idea, Doug, as you get older.
Just space think about to hydrate.
It's really, really super smart.
For health.
Do you have something for the prize bag, sir?
Yes, I brought the very first thing I gave as a prize
the first time I did Doug Love Movies.
My first album.
There's only a couple of these left out there.
I didn't make that many.
It's kind of blurry because I didn't know how
to make an album cover.
I'll just pass that on
down here so I can throw it in
someone's face. You got it.
Not sideways. Thank you.
Just get that corner right in your eye.
So there it is.
That's going in the prize bag. And what do you have for us,
Baron? Oh, you know,
I've been flying a lot lately
and at every airport there is a best buy dispensary machine and i never get to go to it
i walk by and it's like you want to do it this time so i said on the way here i'll go to it
and put something in so i got got these Skullcandy Smokin' Buds 2.
Earbuds.
Skullcandy for your brain sugar.
There it is.
It's going in the bag, you guys.
So that's going to be something that you could listen to this podcast with.
Or Ding Dong or Cardboard or Maltin on Movies. so that's gonna be something that you could listen to this podcast with by likes or ding-dong or cardboard or malta movies by smoking buds you think means
like a hot friendship like you and Malton yes I'm smoking buds that's right
but our smoking jackets and I've been talking to Leonard about coming on and talking movies with you guys.
Should we try to see if he'll get high with us?
You know, just for once in a controlled environment.
That would be incredible.
You know, we'll just sit there.
When he's high, he probably only talks about Mickey Mouse.
Probably.
Because I know he's an expert.
He knows a lot about Mickey Mouse. About his wife and Mickey Mouse. That would probably be it. He knows a lot about Mickey Mouse.
About his wife and Mickey Mouse.
That's all he'd talk about.
But I don't think he would do it.
But I would love to see that and tape it and put it on everything.
So on Maltin on Movies
you basically
I assume
the idea is each episode you kind of
tackle a genre or a type of movie.
Yeah, we pick a genre of movie
or we pick a subject that's relevant to us or the time.
And we pick a movie that fits a great example of that thing, a bad example, and something that you might not have seen that you probably should see.
That's cool.
And so you have to, to keep up with Leonard, you have to have seen a lot of shit.
Watch a lot of movies. Yeah, and how much do you keep up with Leonard you have to have seen a lot of shit. Watch a lot of movies.
Yeah, and do you
how much do you keep up
on current movies?
I try.
I try to keep up on them
as much as possible.
It's pretty hard
because I'm watching
all these movies
for the podcast
and then I'm shooting
a TV show as well.
Oh, because Leonard
will throw at you
you've got to watch
Our Lady Eve
or whatever the fuck.
But we agree
on the movies beforehand.
He does do that,
but we try to pick stuff that's streamable
and easy to get.
Oh, that's good.
So what's the last thing you saw for any reason?
For that show or just for your own life?
The last thing I saw for any reason...
Last movie.
I was watching Shaun of the Dead the other day.
Just for fun, because you'd seen it before.
I was watching it of the Dead the other day. Yeah. Just for fun, because you'd seen it before. I was watching it again for shots.
What does that mean?
I was just kind of studying the camera movement.
Oh, are you gonna direct something?
I don't know!
Who knows?
Interesting director.
Who's that chick that just ran in?
Yeah.
Who's that lady?
All right.
And yeah,
well, of course,
we love Shaun of the Dead
and all of Edgar's
brilliant movie.
Edgar's stuff.
Yeah.
Says that person as well.
What about you, Rich?
What have you
been looking at?
Like, you've had
all this free time here.
Have you found
a movie theater
and watched something?
Yeah, there's one
right not too far
from our hotel.
I've seen a few there.
I saw Black Mass
and, yeah, right?
I kind of thought,
I really had high hopes for it.
Your pal John Hamm called it a,
it's the new Tyler Perry
Christmas film.
He's a funny, he's funny, that handsome asshole.
Good for him.
Yeah, fuck him.
I'm so sick of his shit.
That's fantastic.
What do you think happened to Harry Crane, ultimately?
Like, do you think he...
I hope that after that last scene,
he walked out of the building, he was hit by a bus,
and it was just his fur, like, the fur just like floated to the ground and that was it.
Did you, that was, especially in that last season, you got some really fun outfits and facial hair.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
Yeah, and like just horrible things to say and do.
Yeah, to match those outfits.
things to say and do.
Yeah, to match those outfits.
I don't know if it's because I like you as a person and know you, but
as mad as everybody always was
at Harry Crane, I was like, he's not so bad.
Oh yeah, I felt the same.
He didn't bug me that much.
I was his sweetest dude, and just to watch him go
full tilt creepy fuck
was so fun to watch.
Oh yeah.
And the sideburns.
So Black Mass with Johnny Depp,
what did you think?
I was...
I give it like a 60 out of 100
on the old Rotten Tomatoes.
I didn't love it.
I didn't love it.
But I did see...
I also saw The Martian,
which I fucking loved.
Ooh.
Have you seen it?
Have you seen it?
Isn't that lovely?
Yes.
I did see it.
And I think I'm not into...
I think I've seen enough of Outer Space.
There's so much of it to see, though.
Just even looking back,
there aren't that many space sagas.
There's not that many movies like that that I love.
I like it for the one-time experience.
I saw Apollo 13 and thought
that was good. But I don't know.
There's just something about it.
What did you think about Gravity? I don't remember what you thought about it.
I like Gravity. But Gravity felt more like an adventure film.
And just sort of her
just trying to get back. Which of course,
that's what Matt Damon's trying to do
as well. But he's just so much more...
Well, they both have the same fun-loving outlook, right?
He's a little quippier than she was.
I don't know. We're both pretty clever.
She seems super fun.
You didn't see Interstellar either?
I did see Interstellar, and that bored the shit out of me.
I haven't seen that one, though.
I thought that was super boring, just navel-gazing.
It was like watching a three-hour McConaughey commercial.
But he was in a spaceship
instead of a Cadillac.
Which Cadillac is the spaceship of cars.
That's their new thing
that they're trying to go with.
Yeah, so, you know,
I think I just, as a genre,
I'm just not that, you know,
2001 was amazing, and I don as a genre, I'm just not that, you know, 2001 was amazing,
and I don't think anybody's ever really topped it.
It gets fun when you jump to actual science fiction
and go fiction hard, you know what I mean?
Where the level of, not only do you have a spaceship,
but you're a smuggler and super cool,
and you have a hairy friend that looks like a dog,
like just beyond everything,
and we're all shooting lasers and just casually,
I'm going to Centon 5 or whatever,
and you're just there.
Yeah, this leaned more on the science than the fiction.
I mean, the only thing, the only difference was
that also we go to Mars.
Otherwise it's now.
Yeah, that's what I should say, is I should say
outer space dramas with any kind of sense of realism
are no fun.
So, Guardians of the realism are no fun. So Guardians of the
Galaxy, super fun. Matt Damon doesn't meet
the devil. He doesn't meet the devil.
He does not meet the devil. Although that's a spoiler.
He is the devil.
That was the thing. The problem
about Black Mass is that, did you have
to make him bleached blonde
Nosferatu?
That insanely scary?
Nobody in that little area of Southie
was like, Jesus fucking Christ.
You look horrifying.
I know you're going to have me killed right now.
But how are your eyes
ice blue?
And why isn't his child
just crying every time he speaks to him?
Just at the dinner table.
Stop looking at me, Daddy. Stop.
If nobody sees it,
it didn't happen.
Get Daddy
away from me.
Mama's cute, though.
I haven't seen any of these movies.
It's fantastic.
Y'all have so much rage.
And I'm just chilling.
I'm not angry at it.
I thought both Black Mass and The Martian
were completely engaging enough.
I wasn't bored or anything.
But at this point, people ask me what I think is a great movie,
what they should check out.
And so I just stay away from recommending things
that I think might bore people.
I don't want to bogart this whole conversation,
but did you see The Walk?
Yes.
What did you think of that?
I saw it in IMAX 3D at the Chinese in Hollywood
where they give you those super fucking heavy glasses
that no matter how many times you rub them with your shirt or whatever
they've got fucking weird
fog. They're just dirty.
They're just like dirty stupid
glasses that are heavy on the
bridge of your nose and I'm mad for people
that wear glasses while I'm wearing
them because I think what the
fuck did they do? Like you have to
put these stupid things that do
not fit normally over glasses.
Like, they're not goggles, you know?
So you've got these weird things
you've got to sit there with two pairs of glasses on.
And to watch a movie where, in the walk,
they throw stuff at you maybe three times
in the entire movie.
Like, there's lots of depth situations.
Like, I wrote on Twitter that it's the best 3D since
Avatar, but I should say I don't like 3D at all. It's the best since then, and it's an
interesting movie, but also, if you saw an IMAX movie and saw the trailer for The Walk,
you're good. You don't have to see two hours of that shit they show every claustrophobic shot
and every
even the TV commercial I was watching today
they show the last scene of the movie
and it's also a documentary
and you know
so if you do any research at all
you know about the guy and what happened
you're not watching the movie wondering what's gonna happen
it's just more like holy shit
that's high.
That guy's higher than I am right now and I am angry.
Because my high had worn off by the end of the movie.
During the first hour of the movie, I'm super fucking high and he's just riding around in
a unicycle in France.
That's not scary or compelling.
But it's French.
Straight down the barrel.
The shots of him standing on the Statue of Liberty
narrating this story are so dumb.
I hate that part.
It's so fake and weird.
Are you fucking with me?
That's real?
That's a scene?
This is not giving away.
He's standing in the torch.
When I first came to this country.
The gifts that France gave us. Straight down the pipe, by the way.
It's all just right down the thing.
Is he unicycling on a rugged croissant wheel?
You see, it's crunchy.
I fear Zemeckis is a little like getting George Lucas syndrome.
Because he did all those animated movies, those computer animated things.
Beowulf and shit.
And then he did Flight and he did this.
But he seems like he only wants to do movies
where there's spectacular visuals.
Spectacular visuals.
That's okay. I went with it.
I'm using
spectacular. You put them together
before you said either of them.
It's actually
spectacular is what that means.
No, spectacular. In a real way. It's actually spectacular is what that means. No, spectacular. It so is.
In a real way.
But then the rest of the
script, he's like, eh, who cares how dumb
it is? And it's like,
it's just a shame because
I think Joseph Gordon-Levitt commits
himself to the role
and does some
pretty cool things in it, but
is there any other character
that's even remotely compelling in the film?
No.
No.
It's just, hey, a Frenchie's going to walk on a wire.
And it's also a huge bummer
that you have to look at the Twin Towers
for an entire movie.
Another take, yes.
Sitting there going,
well, it's neat that they were there then,
but what about some other Frenchman with a dream?
What's he going to walk across?
I seriously wish the narrator sounded like you just said.
Frenchie's going to walk on a wire.
Like the narrator of Jersey Boys or something.
I don't know. I don't like him.
I don't like his turtleneck. Fuck this guy.
But he's got a lot of balance.
Cannot take that away from him.
No shit.
Yeah, there's one point where he's upset
because he doesn't have his costume
for walking on the wire.
He's like, okay, instead of a black long-sleeve shirt,
you have to settle for a black T-shirt.
What a horrible compromise.
Anyway, I'd say go check it out
if it looks compelling to you.
If you look at that and go,
that doesn't look interesting, and I don't like heights,
because they really do fucking hit you over the head
with how fucking high it is.
The shots are pretty incredible.
It's visually amazing.
It is something to sort of behold
as far as the effects go,
but that part lasts about 15 minutes
and you have to sit through the other two hours
and five minutes of bullshit.
There should just be like how IMAX has those movies
that are only 30 minutes long.
That's what that should be.
Haha, I'm in France juggling.
Oh, now I'm walking this wire.
Let's go.
No transition. It's over two hours long
they show in the trailer he steps on a nail at one point
and it goes right through his foot
I don't need to see that
not in 3D
where are we Matt have I asked you
have you been to the movies
no
last one I saw was Black Mass before that I saw Straight Outta Compton Where are we? Matt, have I asked you if you've been to the movies? No.
Last one I saw was Black Mass,
but before that I saw Straight Outta Compton.
That was... I enjoyed it.
Again, not worth the 3D version or IMAX.
No way.
Just see it normal.
I had no idea growing up
listening to Eazy-E and NWA
thinking they were murdering
en route to the studio to make songs.
They were such a bunch of fun-loving dudes.
Just a bunch of guys hanging out,
rapping about fucking chicks and shooting people.
That's, like, I was laughing watching it,
but at the same time, it's like, oh, yeah,
that was, like, a front, you know?
They're characters they would rap as, in a way.
But I enjoyed it. I thought it was great.
Yeah, it's really...
Altered egos.
It's like the fastest-paced, over-two-hour movie I've seen in a long time.
When it was over, I was kind of shocked at how long it was, because it just zipped by.
And now they're going to make another one that's going to concentrate more on Snoop and Suge.
Yeah, and the dog...
For reals.
Really?
Same filmmakers and everything?
I think so.
Oh, same actors.
Oh, wow. I did not see that.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that guy that played Snoopy's not in it much, but he was good.
Yeah, he was good.
Like, the casting is the top achievement of that movie.
Yeah.
The casting is pretty great all the way across.
I love that they did a nationwide search for the guy who played Dre and settled on a guy
fresh out of Juilliard.
Like, of course.
Of course.
Of course. Of course.
Of course.
I love the goggles,
the character goggles,
because they all had a say
in the movie, you know?
So there's a lot of nostalgia in it.
And, you know,
Dre treats women really well.
Really well.
Really well.
Just takes care of them.
Doesn't throw them down
a flight of stairs.
All right, I respect your choices.
Run into a women's bathroom.
Slam them against the wall.
I guess Dre wasn't so bad.
But I like to see them treated as a group that changed everything like the Beatles.
That was my favorite thing about the movie.
Because you don't feel that's true?
No, no, no. I do feel it is true.
Oh, okay.
They completely changed the industry.
I just never would have guessed at any point in my life
until I saw that movie that a group
deciding to perform
Fuck the Police would be so heartwarming.
No, that's exactly my point.
It would be such a triumphant moment.
You know, like, oh my god, these guys
are great. And I feel like there were
maybe 17 shots
of them playing arenas. Roughly
17. Another huge
crowd. And can you believe, like by
now, yes, I believe it very much.
You were huge.
But they definitely also, I like the
racial makeup of all the audiences. I don't know
if you noticed. It's mostly
white people. Well, yeah.
But that kind of is exactly how it happened as well.
Yeah. So thanks for that movie.
But that kind of is exactly how it happened as well.
Yeah.
So thanks for that movie.
Well, now this is part of the show where I say,
let the games begin.
But first, really quick, trailer alert.
Have you guys seen the trailer where Tom Hardy plays twin brothers?
No, the Kray brothers.
The Kray brothers.
It's incredible.
I don't know if the movie's going to be any good,
but he works hard for the money. I'm fucking around that guy.
He plays both brothers,
and one of them is just a brute
who is also just very openly homosexual.
And so just in the trailer, I was like, whoa, this is fucking intense.
So when does that come out?
Do you know?
I'm not sure, but I don't think it's soon.
I think it came out in England.
Oh, it's out already over there?
That's what I, because there have been not great reviews from English reviewers.
That's too bad. Yeah, it is.
It doesn't matter. You'll see it anyway.
You'll see two Hardys. I'm gonna see it. They're like,
he's still mumbling. Enough with this Bane shit.
Fucking
enunciate. That was cool to see
gay Bane. That was cool.
Gane.
Alright, so everybody's
looking at me like, should we hold them up
should we not hold them up there's the name tags you guys
wow
gentlemen pick your name tags
and while you do that we'll do this we'll be right
back after a word from
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Back to the show.
We're back.
Who are you playing for, Matt Bronger?
I'm not allowed to say.
What?
It's a secret?
Yeah.
Why?
Oh, the shithead's a secret.
You can still tell us who you're playing for.
You picked the guy who brought the cans from the jerk.
Yes.
They hate these cans.
That's why Steve Martin thinks they're shooting at the cans and not him.
So it's easy serve special motor oil.
That's what I'm playing for.
Wait, wait.
What's his name, though?
Here, my name is Chris
At Fart Cancer
His Twitter name is Fart Cancer
Ah, the weed just started kicking in, I'm sorry guys
One of my favorite Twitter names
Alright, and congratulations Chris
Did you get picked before or you were just at a show before?
Okay
What do you got there, Rich?
I've got things to do
in Brandon when you're dead.
With a picture of
Doug Benson, and I'm guessing
Brandon as your ingenue.
And some Christmas lights.
It's got Christmas lights. I got a little jazzed
by the Christmas lights. That's what happened.
Alright, yeah. It's time
for the season almost.
Who you got, Baron?
This says, I am the law.
Which is exactly how Sylvester Stallone says it.
He says law.
This is, I am the Laura.
I am the Laura.
And again, with the lights.
And also lights.
And also, they blink.
So yours is better than the one Ridge picked.
Yeah.
Blinking.
First of all, lights.
I don't want to spend time on that.
Second of all, blinking.
Yeah, very good.
Good job, everybody.
This first game we're going to play tonight
is a little something, kind of a newish game
called Cable Billing,
a.k.a. Comcastaway.
And the cable listings
on my system, I don't know about what cable
you guys got, but the cable listings for
movies...
Fucking cocks.
The cable listing...
It's like everybody
in the room wants their chance to yell cocks.
It's... It's like everybody in the room wants their chance to yell Cox. It's, um...
It's Cox.
Cox, yes, I got it.
They list, uh, they just, when a movie's on there,
they just pick two random names from the cast
that are hardly ever the actual stars of the movie
to list at the top of the listing
when you're searching for movies to watch.
By the way, that happened the first two seasons of
Mad Men on TiVo. It was Mad Men featuring
January Jones and Rich Summer.
Yes! That's exactly
what this is.
Finally.
They are in that show.
Two of my favorites on that show.
But that's not
how these decisions should be made.
That's right.
Yeah.
So basically, I'm going to tell you something I saw on my cable box on the TV.
Two names that I don't necessarily associate with being the stars of this particular motion picture.
And it's just between the panelists on stage, of course.
Just start guessing names
of movies until one of you gets it. This might take a minute, so don't get excited out there
in the audience and yell out the town. To use a recent example. Is it the town? Yeah,
just, no, it's not the town. Whenever we have it, we just yell it out. Yell it.
Yeah.
Or, you know, say it into your microphone.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You don't have to yet.
What movie, according to my cable,
should be watched because it stars
Owen Wilson and Blythe Danner?
Meet the Parents?
That's correct!
Fucking shark
in the water.
But Owen Wilson,
he's just the boyfriend in that, right?
The ex-boyfriend or whatever?
Yeah, he's in all of the Meet the
Fockers and the Little Fockers, but
we're to list him first.
Above Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro.
And who doesn't love Blythe Danner?
But that was just
weird. This is a weird decision.
And so Rich wins our first
game. That means he has to go first
in Last
Man Stanton.
in Last Man Stanton.
Have you guys all played this?
Have you done this, Matt?
I don't remember.
I really shouldn't get you guys so high after the show.
Basically, we're going to get the name of an actor or actress who's got a large body of work, hopefully.
And then I'll
play along we take turns naming movies that that person was it's called
something before though Seth Rogen no yeah very early on it was called the
Seth Rogen oh good catch because I could catch because Seth Rogen was the first
person to play it our first name we used and then it changed the last man Stanton
when Harry Dean Stanton was on the show,
and he played the game and won because we were doing the films of Harry Dean Stanton.
And he barely...
Were the other two guys just furious?
No, he barely eked out the win with his own movies.
When I first announced it, he goes,
well, I've been in 170 movies.
And we were like, oh, fuck.
And even he couldn't get past the big ones.
Oh, that's tough.
Because why would he remember all those names of movies?
Sure.
He just churns them out.
He just keeps making them.
He just shows up and acts grizzled, and then he's done.
I don't know that he's acting grizzled.
He's always grizzled.
Yeah, he is grizzled. Even young Harry Dean was like a grizzled. He's always grizzled. Yeah, he is grizzled.
Even young Harry Dean was like a grizzled,
like he was always, he's always like a villain.
Cool hand loop.
Just a grizzled grade schooler.
Yeah.
Get the crayons.
Getting my coloring done.
So, of course, typical of me and how I operate things,
you know, I don't remember which names we've covered and which ones we haven't,
and so people write to me on Twitter.
I've got a great name for Last Man Stanton,
and I always just pick somebody.
And tonight is Kevin A. Fuentes here.
Oh, shit, there he is way up there in the balcony.
Let me see your name tag. Do you have a name tag?
That's not a bad one.
Kevin Vincible.
Kevin Vincible.
Kevin Vincible.
Yeah.
Two Vs. Kevin Vincible.
Kevin Vincible.
Kevin Fuentes.
Yeah.
Tell us your
suggestion.
Jennifer Aniston.
I like it.
It's not an easy one.
Also not a hard one.
I call it medium.
Tricky.
Good job, dude.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, Jennifer Aniston.
Let me just write it down so I don't forget. Oh, shit. Yeah, Jennifer Aniston. Let me just write it down so I don't forget.
Oh, no.
All right, we'll start with Rich,
and then we'll go to Barron, and then me,
and then Matt over there.
We'll go around, and if you can't think of one, you're out.
I can only think of one right now.
I'm sure everybody in the audience has a few.
I'm sure they do. They're all very
smart, Doug.
Hang on to them until the end.
Until we're done.
I'm going to...
I don't want to blow it.
I'm going to start with Office Space.
Alright.
She had a lot of flair in that movie.
32 pieces. What happened? 32 pieces of flair in that movie. What happened?
32 pieces of flair?
31? Okay.
Don't care either way.
Good job, guys.
Not really anything I'm interested in.
I made my little flair joke.
I'm ready to move on.
Baron, what do you think?
I'm going to go obvious first.
Horrible Bosses.
Yeah.
Right, right, right.
As long as you did that,
I got to do this last night
when we played Kevin Spacey
over at my stand-up show.
And so I had the honor
of jumping in with
Horrible Bosses 2.
Oh, yeah.
And that's one of the...
I'm grateful that it doesn't have a subtitle
that I have to remember.
It's just straight up 2, that's it.
Keeping it easy.
Not back in business or anything like that.
Matt, what do you got?
Leprechaun.
Oh! Matt, what do you got? Leprechaun.
Digging deep.
I like it.
I should have saved that one, honestly.
Yeah, maybe, but that's the thing about saving them,
is that you get your idea to save it,
and then a couple rounds go by,
and then you forget the one that you wanted to save.
Or someone says it and you don't have a backup.
Then you're fucked.
Yeah.
No.
I can see everything about it.
I can see her doing the strip
thing. I can see Jason Sudeikis
on the fucking thing.
I can see all the kids with the thing.
God damn it.
Yeah.
It's a tough game.
I know.
Thank you.
They just fall out of your head.
I appreciate that.
Oh, God.
We're the Millers?
Yes!
Woo!
Start thinking about your next one.
Oh, no, no, that's it.
That's it?
Yeah, no.
It'll be a brick wall once it comes back to me.
You think you tapped out after that?
100%.
I have one I just thought of
that might be one of her movies,
so I'm gonna hold off on that one for a while.
What do you got, Baron?
Along Came Polly.
Yes!
Girls that have a blind ferret on a leash
are so wacky.
The wackiest.
I gotta say, though, about that movie, real briefly.
It's spectacular?
That...
No, but... It's spectacular, okay
Philip Seymour Hoffman didn't do a lot of flat out comedies
But he's so funny in that
Oh, he's real funny in that movie
That scene where he has to fill in in the boardroom
And he has no idea what he's talking about
And just keeps making noises and coughing
And doing anything he can to just stall
It's so goddamn funny.
Alright, I'm gonna go
with
Picture Perfect.
Damn it.
With our friend Jay Moore.
With a cast on his arm
because he fucking broke his arm right before
they started shooting so they had to write it in.
Another
great story.
Also, my mic got less hot
somehow and it feels like
I have to work to make people hear me.
So if you could make it more hot
that'd be awesome.
Sounds good.
Matt?
The breakup.
Yeah, of course!
Oh, fuck you.
Wanderlust.
Nice. Oh, that's a good one.
I'm so glad you... I don't know why that made me
think of it, but it worked.
We're on a team, Rich.
Thank you, Matt.
Is it my turn? Yes, sir. The Good Girl.
Oh, yeah.
Good one. I like that
one. I was going to say
about the breakup
that Jon Favreau is really
funny in that. That scene where
he's Vince Vaughn and they're talking about
how sad he is and he's
like, so you think I should
you know, you want me to kill
her? He like offers to have somebody killed, right? And then Vince Vaughn is like, so you think I should, you know, you want me to kill her?
He like offers to have somebody killed, right?
And then Vince Vaughn is like, no, don't do that.
He goes, I'm going to take that as a signal that you're really saying yes.
And it just goes back and forth.
It's really funny.
All right.
Whose turn is it?
Me?
You said the good one?
The good girl, yeah.
Good girl.
I wrote down the good one.
Let me just fix that,
because what I've written down is very important.
I'm going to go with... co-starred a previous guest on Douglas Movies
who goes by the name Paul Rudd,
the object of my affection.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Back to Matt.
This is going great.
I think we're going to name every Jennifer Aniston movie.
I will see your shitty Aniston movie and raise you.
Just go with it.
Oh, that's right.
Just go with it.
I am out.
You're just going to announce that you're out?
You don't want to take a second?
No, it's I am out from 1993.
Yeah, that's right.
Sorry, Jennifer Aniston.
On the poster, she's like this.
Paul Reiser.
No, and all these guys are like, but what?
Yeah, the working title was not having it.
I am out. These dudes it. I am out.
These dudes suck.
I am out.
Yeah, bye.
Oh, I just thought of another one.
Sorry.
So you're done?
No more, Rich?
No, nothing.
I can't believe I got three on that.
What do you got, Baron?
Thank you so much.
I'm also out of movies.
You are?
Yeah.
That was the one that she did with Courtney Cox.
I'm all out of movies?
Yeah.
I don't think they've done a movie together.
I'm going to go with her recent Academy Award bid
that didn't work out.
Cake.
Oh, right, right, right, right, right.
Oopsie.
Was that your, that was the one you had in the bag?
Huh?
Oh, that was your backup?
Yeah.
So you're done?
We'll give you a second.
Give me 10 seconds?
Yeah.
Okay.
While you're thinking about it, I want to talk to Rich for a second.
Have you ever in your show business travels run into Jennifer?
Nope.
What about Brad?
Nope.
Angelina?
Okay.
This is my...
Oh, and I'm out.
I don't want to waste anyone's time.
At the first SAG Awards
that Mad Men was nominated
to go to, we had just had a baby.
We had a baby in December and they were in January.
My wife was still pumping.
What happened?
She's still hot?
We just all had to yell at my wife.
Oh, my wife. Thank you.
I forget how great that is.
She had to go pump while
the SAG Awards are happening. She goes in the
bathroom and this woman behind
her says, oh, I know what that's like.
She turns around and says, Angelina Jolie.
She starts this whole talk about pumping.
My wife's standing in the line for the SAG Award with a big
fucking, I mean, if you've seen them, they're
like nightmare satchels with tubes and things.
And finally, Angelina says, hey, hey, guys, clear the line.
She's got a pump.
And they all moved aside.
And Angelina got my wife into a stall to go put a suction cup on her breast.
And I say, good on her.
She's using her powers for good.
That's right.
She literally is like the modern Cleopatra.
Like, you guys, move.
Parking ways.
I'm going to walk this way.
That's awesome.
Well, I'll just...
But, Matt, you did last the longest.
You're our winner of that game.
Oh, thanks.
And before we open up to the audience,
I'd like to add D-Railed and Marley and me.
Oh.
And what do you guys got?
Bruce Almighty!
Bruce Almighty!
She's the one.
Rumor has it, directed by Rob Reiner.
Oh, shit.
Bruce Almighty!
Jesus, Bruce Almighty.
He's had Rockstar.
The Switch.
Rock star with Mark Wahlberg.
Rock star.
Good one.
Was she friends with money?
Was she a voice in Iron Giant?
I think so.
Oh, wow.
Camp Cucamonga.
What?
Camp Cucamonga?
Was that before Leprechaun?
Is that an industrial film?
Who said Amistad?
Which one?
No, no.
By the way, my bathroom experience at that SAG Awards was Cuba Gooding Jr. was at the urinal next to me.
And we didn't talk at all.
And he said, good luck tonight.
Slapped me on the ass and walked out.
It was amazing
oh radio
he's crazy he's crazy. He's crazy. Boat trip.
Well, good suggestion, Kevin.
That was good.
In your wildest dreams,
did you think that would pay off so well?
That was a pretty...
Wrong answer.
He had it all figured out
He just believes in the secret
Does anybody need a snack?
Alright
Grab those donuts Matt
Thank you
Just pull one out of the box
They're Krispy Kremes
Just pull one out of the box and throw it at somebody in the audience
You got it
I'm on it Doug
Flick it like a frisbee Super sticky you guys Just pull one out of the box and then throw it at somebody in the audience. You got it. I'm on it, Doug.
Flick it like a frisbee.
Like a frisbee.
Super sticky, you guys.
You asked for it.
Five second rule.
I didn't say throw them all.
We each get to throw them. It's okay.
Look like there are no nuts for you guys.
Everybody's doing the five second rule.
That's it.
Now I just licked my finger.
I gotta use my left hand.
Yeah!
Good catch.
Sorry.
Stuck to my hand.
All right.
We did it.
Why are they so wet?
I don't know.
But I'm kind of glad. I didn't want you to throw all of them. But I'm glad you did it. Why are they so wet, these kind of... I don't know, but I'm kind of glad.
I didn't want you to throw all of them,
but I'm glad you did it.
Sorry.
Because the rest of us don't have sticky hands now.
Wow, it's a mess.
Doug, I got some gravy-drenched roast beef po' boys right here.
Fully dressed.
Here, everybody.
No!
Fettuccine Alfredo!
I don't think I've ever done a Douglows movies
where there's a piano in the room.
Oh, finally.
So just real quick, we'll play a game.
And this is for the whole audience
and the panelists.
Just tell me what movie this is from.
Halloween. All right.
He hasn't played yet,
you stoned asshole.
You pre-guessing motherfuckers.
Jaws would be an easy one, but
this is not Jaws.
I used to know
The Exorcist, too, but I don't know it anymore.
See if you can
guess what this one is.
The Pelican Brief!
The Pelican Brief!
Pelican Station!
Some guy already
yelled it. It's the Pelican Brief. Remember
when
Denzel and Julia
Roberts are running through the parking garage.
Yeah, that's the turn.
I remember I had the soundtrack.
That's great.
I've seen the sheet music to that one.
Yeah, I learned it.
That's like A minor.
A lot of minor fourths.
I learned how to play it.
I rear-ended a person.
I had a Plymouth Sundance, my first car.
Oh, I thought that was the end of the story.
No, that was it.
I rear-ended a guy while I was listening to it.
I still can't remember why I thought this soundtrack was good, but it was the score
to The Devil's Advocate.
And I rear-ended a guy.
They had just left the lot.
It was a guy with his 18-year-old son, bought him a car, lifted it up off of Highway 36
in Minnesota, and boom and
the next thing I know after I kind of
came out of it, there was no airbag.
I was like, what happened? Am I okay? Everything.
And then the music came back. The CD skipped
and then it came back to this like
fucking devil's advocate score.
It was a nightmare, Doug.
I mean it actually
happened but it was like a real life nightmare.
What's the next game? Are we doing more?
Or are we good?
It's okay to just tell stories.
We're a team.
It's a great soundtrack, though,
to have in your time of need.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, let's play Reverse Malton.
Reverse Malton.
Yeah, let's play Reverse Malton.
This is, of course, similar to the Malton game, but different.
And I'll talk you through it if you guys don't know how it works.
Who won that?
Browner won that.
Yeah.
And which direction were we going when you won that?
You were going to you next.
Yeah, so let's go.
Rich will be next.
Okay.
And then Barron.
And here's basically what you got to do.
I will give Matt three options of motion pictures,
pretty well-known motion pictures most of the time.
And then you'll tell me which one you think you know the most actors from and then you will bid how many actors in that movie you think you can name and then it goes to rich and barren and as soon as
somebody challenges it's just like the old Leonard Maltin game but you got to
do it but you don't have to say them in order you just have to name however many
movies kinder actors you claimed you could name and I have two ones that
Leonard listed so this is a lot of names usually but sometimes people will guess
one that didn't make the cut Matt would you like Annie Hall Manhattan or
Manhattan murder mystery which one of those three films all with pretty big or Manhattan Murder Mystery?
Which one of those three films,
all with pretty big casts,
a lot of Woody Allen regulars,
maybe even him?
Whichever bus I choose,
I'm throwing Rich right under it, right?
Yeah.
Does that work?
So he has to guess from... No, no, no.
You get to bid first.
You'll bid how many names you can name from
and then I can either increase the bid or challenge.
He can bid more or he can ask you to name those names.
Fuck. Okay.
Then I will go...
Damn it.
It's really exciting when someone's like,
I suck at this game.
Probably listening right now going, fuck this dude.
Yeah, I guess maybe I should maybe talk backstage
with people about how this is a game
where you can really poker face it,
but so far you're not doing that at all.
Hey man, I'm an open book.
Could give a shit.
Or you're really poker facing it
and you know his movies.
What are you talking about, huh?
You know very well.
I haven't been studying for this game.
Yeah.
Which one of those do you think you know the most actors from?
If anything, probably Annie Hall.
Okay.
Leonard Liss.
If anything.
What a dumb thing to say.
If anything in the world.
Now that's when you have no poker face.
I know one thing, it's Granny Hall.
My mom was a script supervisor on it, so...
Dumb shit.
Leonard lists ten names.
So how many out of ten do you think you could name?
You could just go, you could lowball it.
You could just say one if you want.
Yeah, I'm gonna go two. You could just say one if you want. Yeah, I'm going to go two.
He's going to say two.
I'm going to be totally honest.
Poker face in the trash.
So he says he can name two people
from Best Picture winner
from 1977.
Top that!
And Enol. So you can challenge him, Rich, Best Picture winner from 1977. Top that! And
you know,
you can challenge him, Rich, or you can try to
bid higher. I'm gonna go
three.
Don't
bug the guy who's sleeping. No, he's very tired.
I don't want to wake him. I'm gonna say
three. Three, Doug.
He says three names. Rich says three
names.
Three names. It's three names. Three names.
It's me?
It's me?
Make Leonard proud.
I can name four names from that movie.
That would make him very proud.
So that brings it
around to you, Matt. It sounds like
I think I know what you'll have to do here.
I think you'll have to say name those names.
Maybe you might want to bid five.
That's a big positive, Ghost Rider.
You're right.
Big positive.
Name those names.
All right, so any four names.
I'm not going to say whether any of them are correct
until we've heard four names.
Woody Allen.
Nope, you blew it.
Nope. Damn it. Next thing. Nope, you blew it. Nope.
Damn it. Next thing.
Diane Keaton. Christopher Walken.
Carol Kane.
Keep going for the fuck of it.
Yeah, just for the hell of it. Do you know any more?
Marshall McLuhan.
He's not listed by Leonard, but he
has a nice cameo
in there.
You don't know anything about my work.
Yeah, that's the last person I can think of.
That's pretty good, though.
You're correct.
Yes.
And now, to celebrate this, please welcome Montel Jordan.
Bunch, boom, bunch, boom, boom.
All right.
Paul Simon.
Oh, Paul Simon's lit, okay.
Yeah, yeah, he plays like a shifty record industry dude.
Shelly Duvall.
Shelly Duvall, that was the last one.
Colleen Dewhurst is Annie Hall's mom.
Oh, yeah, the Hearst of the Dew.
Janet Margolin. Of Dew. Janet Margolin.
Of course.
Janet Margolin is one of Woody's wives.
Yeah.
And then John Glover is the last name he lists.
No relation to Donald.
But the movie has some amazing, none whatsoever.
The movie has some amazing little, little tiny parts.
Like Sigourney Weaver doesn't even have any lines.
She's just like Woody's date
at the end of the movie.
Like he's dragging her
to see Sour and the Pity.
She was like 12 then?
No, she was...
It's Woody Allen.
Easy joke to make.
Good night, everybody.
Carry me out.
You guys carry me out.
Soon ye, y'all later.
And... Carry me out. You guys carry me out. Soon ye, y'all later. Awful.
And Jeff Goldblum.
Jeff Goldblum.
Oh, right.
Jeff Goldblum.
He's at a party in LA
and he's on the phone
and he says,
I forgot my mantra.
That's right.
Yeah, he's talking to
like his spiritual guide
or something like that.
You know, Carol,
Carol Kane was going to be my third name
And I only knew that Carol was in it
Because I was in a play with her
Doug, I don't know that we've ever talked about this
We have talked about it
It's funny you bring it up with this guy in the front row
I know, that's exactly it
Because Rich thinks that I was asleep
No, I don't think
I know
Aren't you busy acting?
What are you doing looking at people?
Yeah, I'm busy acting,
but you know what?
When you're on stage,
just like how you're doing
this great comedy show,
you look out,
and you see this guy
and those guys,
and everybody's
having a good time.
I was in a play
in New York,
and Doug was sitting
basically right there,
and he was like this
the whole time.
And we came out
for curtain call.
It wasn't the whole time. First person came out for curtain call. It wasn't the whole time.
First person to his feet.
Doug Benson.
It's amazing.
Well, Rich, you were doing a male version
of Night Mother. It's a really heavy fucking play.
That's a fair point.
It's a heavy play.
He was absorbing it.
He was absorbing it.
I'm checking out.
That's a reference from The Vaults.
It's a reference from The Vaults. Thank? That's a reference from The Vaults.
Thank you.
It's a deep cut?
It's a deep cut of a reference.
Deep cut.
We're going for the literature of Marsha Norman.
Why did I say Nightfather?
Let's continue.
I find that sometimes it's just a little too soothing when you're watching a play.
You're lulled to sleep.
It's hypnotic.
Yeah, yeah.
That was what happened there, I guess.
That was before we had met.
Sometimes you come out of it.
Someone came backstage.
The reason I was looking for you,
someone came backstage and said,
Doug Benson is out in the front row.
I was like, Doug fucking Benson?
We haven't even met, but I know that guy.
I'm so excited.
I went out and I was scanning the front row
and I'm doing my thing.
I was like, oh, there he is.
Found him.
I think the thing is, though,
in Shakespeare's time,
they were more obsessed with hearing the play than they were
seeing it.
If you experience it in a dream,
you had to hear what was being said.
It's a good thing there weren't any
songs in that play.
At a musical, when there's a ballad
It's hard for me to not fall asleep
Because I like going to sleep to that kind of music
Sure
And I fly so much
I'm so great at just sleeping sitting up
Because also in the Broadway theater
It's hard to sleep in your seat
Because you're really crammed in there
Those seats are terrible
You have to be leaning on somebody
But I love that you've done it enough that you have a philosophy
about it. I can do it, yeah.
I'm the same way. I go to sleep every night
to When the Tigers Come at Night from Les Mis.
Every single night. What?
I'm absolutely sure there isn't a song
called When the Tigers Come at Night.
And the Tigers? What is it?
It's a lyric.
Tiger Time in Franchttown? What is it?
Tiger Time in Franchtown.
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, I'm a hooker now?
Something like that. I don't know.
Yeah.
Alright, so who won
that round?
That would be Baron here.
Baron did it, you guys.
Baron's got a point.
Baron here.
Let Baron go.
Baron's got a point.
That's good because we've got to
get him out of here.
Yeah, he's got a thing.
He's got a thing.
Yeah, I've got to
get him a thing.
I've got to do another show.
Everybody's going to
run over there
and go to sleep
over there.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's fine.
It wasn't about that.
He's got to listen to what I have to say.
That's why he's got to close his eyes.
All right, so we switched the order up,
and we're going to start with Rich.
He gets to pick this time,
and then we'll go to Matt and then Baron,
and Rich gets to pick between
which one of these three movies
do you think you know more people from?
Alien?
Prometheus?
Or Mars Attacks?
Mars Attacks.
Wow.
Luckily I know all those really well.
So I'm going to pick Alien.
Okay.
Hey, fuck you!
It's his choice.
It's his choice.
Even though if he picked Mars Attacks,
you could say literally any actor of the era.
That's true.
He didn't go the easy route. Probably. That's true.
He didn't go the easy route.
No.
No, I wanted to go the one that I...
No, this is a tight one because there's only a certain number of people in that one.
Great point.
It wasn't, you know, it didn't take place in anywhere but a very one...
It's a confined, yes, confined area.
I wouldn't be surprised if Leonard lists everybody that's in this movie.
You wouldn't?
I would not be surprised.
I can't think of anybody else looking at it.
But he lists seven names.
Oh.
That's...
Yeah.
Yikes.
Seven people.
I bet.
That were in the movie.
Oh, good.
How many of those would you like to bid that you can name?
I'm going to open with two, Doug.
Oh, okay.
K-Man cocky?
Hey, hey.
Decided to go with just two?
Mm-hmm.
Matt Bronger.
I'm going to go four.
He's saying four names.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
That's amazing.
Spontaneous MC Hammer.
What do you do with that, Barry?
I'm going to say name those names.
Oh!
I'll give it a shot.
Good luck.
Thank you. Sigourney Weaver,
Harry Dean Stanton,
Yafet Kodo,
William Hurt.
Now I... I know I fucked up, but I gotta stand by it. Rules are rules. William Hurt.
Now I... I know I fucked up, but I gotta stand by it.
Rules are rules.
I can't believe this just happened.
What's his name? God damn it.
Yeah, the last name.
John Hurt.
Shit, hey, that's my bad. I gotta own it.
I can't be like, no, no, I mean...
I said the wrong thing.
Gotta own your mistakes, guys.
That's a great life lesson.
I gotta step in here.
If you can name one more person...
Oh, look at this. Hold on a second.
Yeah, if you can name one more person,
I'm going to give you the point.
Because if you can't,
then Baron is our winner.
I know who you're thinking about.
And the show's over.
Really? We're already there?
We still got a little time left.
God damn it.
Unless Rich has some more Angelina Jolie stories.
John Hurt.
Angelina stories.
Like the melody
I saw the trailer for that new movie
she directed and Brad is like the star
no that's the wrong movie
looks pretty amazing
I like to share my thought process
so much drama
Marlee Matlin was not in this with William Hurt
that was Children of a Lesser Girl
and Albert Brooks was sweating profusely on the news in this one, right?
I'll tell a story real quick.
Okay.
This has never come up on the show, I don't think.
Maybe it has, but I don't know.
Nine years it's been going, so I don't know.
But I used to dress up, like back before security was not as intense as it is today
or even ten years ago, I used to just put on
a tuxedo and go to the Oscars. And yeah, the two times I did it, both times I got in the
building.
What? What? That's amazing.
Yeah, because this is a classic. You could do this any place where they're taking tickets
from two different sources. Like they'd have a ticket taker here and a ticket taker there.
So you walk up and do this, get your back to that one for a second.
And then you get your back to the other one for a second.
And both of them think the other one got your ticket.
And you're wearing a tuxedo, so why would anybody...
Nowadays, there's lots of crackpots that would try to do that.
Oh, thanks.
You can have a shitty microphone for the rest of the show.
But, yeah, so I got into the Oscars twice.
And one year, I ended up in an elevator
with Sidney Pollack, William Hurt, and Marlee Matlin.
Holy shit.
Wow.
Yeah, me and my buddy who also did it,
we both put on tuxes and went down there.
And we were in the elevator at that time at that venue,
the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion.
You had to ride in an elevator to go to the press part
after you won your Oscar.
So I'm standing there with Sidney Pollack's got two Oscars
for Out of Africa,
and William Hurt's got one for Kiss of the Spider Woman.
And he's dating Marlee Matlin.
So I didn't even know who she was at the time because Children of a Lesser God hadn't come out yet.
But we were all in the elevator together just going to the press level.
And William Hurt, who I don't think of as a particularly hilarious guy, but he's a great actor.
Especially that fucking
History of Violence
History of Violence he was amazing and hilarious
so great yeah
and that part was really violent
it really paid off how do you
fuck that up
he's great in that if you haven't
seen it but
William Hurt said to
Sidney Pollack he's got a fucking William Hurt's got an Oscar in his hands and he said to Sidney Pollack, he's got a fucking
William Hurt's got an Oscar in his hands.
And he says to Sidney Pollack, hey,
you want me to hold one of those for you?
They look kind of heavy.
And that was, you know,
just short elevator rides. That's all that really
happened. And nobody ever
said, who are these two guys just standing in this
elevator with us? We just won Oscars
and we have to ride in an elevator with strangers?
Very weird, but, you know, security's much, much tighter these days.
Did you think of another name, Matt?
I didn't, but it's the fucking guy who played the dad on Garden State.
Right?
I don't know his name.
He played the android.
This is kind of a...
What were the four ones you did say? I don't know his name. He played the android. This is kind of a...
What were the four ones you did say?
You said William instead of John Hurt.
Yeah, William John Hurt.
What were the other three?
Yafet Kodo.
I said Sid Gourney Weaver.
And I said Harry D. Stanton.
Yeah, there you go.
Ostensibly the lead in the movie,
Tom Skerritt.
The great Tom Skerritt. The great Tom Skerritt.
Yes.
And then Ash the Robot.
Spoiler, is
Ian Holm. That's who I meant.
Ian Holm is who, I can tell you were thinking of that.
And the lady that's just all around
just to whine and be a pain in the ass is
Veronica Cartwright.
Sure. Yeah, and that's it.
That's the entire crew of the Nostromo.
And the...
Yes, Jones the cat.
Shut the fuck up.
Dude, we said your Twitter thing.
Well, and wait.
Paul Lin was in the actual alien suit.
That's right.
That's true.
He just made a major left turn.
That's weird that they get an old comedian
to wear the
probably already dead at the time
to play that part.
Alright, well let's just play around for fun.
Baron is officially our winner.
Woo!
Go see Baron across the street, everybody.
Where's your
Judge Dredd person?
There she is.
I am the Laura.
I am the Laura.
There you go, Laura. Congratulations.
She needs her name tag back.
I need your address.
Yeah.
Take it easy, married man with kids.
He needs your social, and he needs your
phone number, and he wants
to know if you know anything about breast pumping.
I'm going to take these cans.
Did you put a good shithead on the back?
Okay.
Just write down your address.
He says so.
What's that?
I was asking her to write down her address,
but she's whispering to her friend.
Rich, stop.
Do you have a pen and stuff?
What happened?
Rich wants to know where you live.
That's going to be a good one.
Do you live in the area?
It's your day, whatever.
I'll keep my board games.
It's fine.
You need somewhere to sleep.
Really?
Are you so cavalier with that sad sound
that that's what you'll do? That you're trying to give
someone a board game?
He'll keep it on his
board games.
I'm doing it.
She's writing it down.
Where is
Brandon?
He's in the bathroom.
There he is. Just came back.
Just came back. There he is. Just came back.
There he is.
All right.
Let's play one more round for fun, you guys.
All right.
We got nine minutes until Baron has to run across the street
and do his thing
over there at the
hi-ho.
You go back to sleep.
You're tired.
You're tired.
We're not trying to keep you up, man.
I like that you checked it to make sure it was real.
Yeah, well...
You're like, let's see, are these letters?
No wingdings here.
This is a play.
5-5-5-5, go fuck yourself, are these letters? Mm-hmm, no wingdings here. Fist of play. Fist of play.
Five, five, five, five.
Go fuck yourself, Creepo Lane.
Second.
That's not a place.
Not an address.
That's not a place.
In my defense, Rich, I just slept.
I also wasn't yelling shit when I was awake.
No, that's true.
Like this guy.
I wasn't like, there's no rabbit.
I can't see a rabbit.
Jimmy Stewart is better.
Where's Jimmy Stewart?
He's dead.
It was Jim Parsons from Big Bang Theory played the Jimmy Stewart role,
and he was good, the parts I saw.
I think I saw most of it.
I don't think Rich was staring at me the whole show.
I know there were several, at least seven or eight scenes
where Rich's character wasn't even on stage.
He's in the wings just looking at me the whole time.
That motherfucker.
That's when you got the deep sleep.
Wait, Rich played the rabbit, right?
That's right.
Yeah, he's the invisible rabbit.
A non-existent role. That's right. Yeah, he's the invisible rabbit. Just a non-existent role.
That's right.
Ah, Harvey, ah.
Well, I'm no alcoholic.
That's crazy.
That's insane.
Now, you know,
you hold on, invisible rabbit.
I wish you'd say that
once in the play.
Listen to me, rabbit
that doesn't exist.
I'm very aware
of my deficiencies.
My whole life is a lie.
I was in the Air Force.
Like, Jimmy Christ.
Stop talking about your whole life.
All right, let's let Rich pick one again,
and then we'll go to Baron and then to Matt.
This is just for fun, and we've only got a few minutes left so we can't
drag it out too long.
But you drag it out.
You drag it out,
lady.
I gotta say that 98%
of you have been one of the do you know the most from?
And I pre-load these in.
I don't plan for who the guests are.
It just sort of happens.
I get to pick this time.
Oh, you do? Why?
Do I?
No, no, no. I mean, you can if you want.
Wait, why does he get to pick?
Because he just said, I get to pick this time.
I never got to pick.
I was like, oh, that's a good reason to let him pick.
He did just win the whole game.
Yeah, it's true.
Nothing more powerful than winner dibs.
Might as well give him a chance to pick.
Take it.
We'll come to you second, Rich, then, after Baron picks.
When Harry Met Sally.
Or Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
The Goblet of Fire.
Yeah.
Or Firestarter.
Yeah, you're not so happy about picking now, are you?
You didn't know I had three of the whitest movies
ever made loaded up.
I'm pretty sure I haven't seen one of those.
You haven't seen any of those?
Well, Rob Reiner, of course, directed with Harry Met Sally.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
That's why it's a funny coincidence that Rich is here.
I appreciate you spelling it out, too.
Which one?
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
Yeah?
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
The fourth one, isn't it?
Yeah.
The fourth one.
You can't fucking throw a dart in a pub without hitting one of these actors.
Jesus. Jesus.
How's that?
It doesn't make any sense.
No, it's all good.
Every British actor's in this, is my point.
How many...
Leonard lists.
Your buddy Leonard lists.
9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 names.
19 names.
How many of those can you come up with, Baron?
I can name seven names.
Whoa.
Rich.
I mean, what?
Seven?
Definitely, easily. Yeah, from that kids movie. What? Seven? Definitely. Easily.
From that kids movie?
So if I say name those actors,
there's not going to be a point.
Wait, wait. Hold on.
Around five or six where you're going to go.
No.
And then it's, hold on.
That's not going to happen.
No.
What you could do is raise me.
Then Matt could raise me.
No, that's what could happen.
We can both raise him?
If I raise you, then Matt goes name those people
and we all go home.
Right, but you could
have sat here the whole time acting like
Harry Potter is your jam.
I know, but it's that part that I'm not good at.
You could have been like, I got this.
Eight names. And then Matt would be like,
you know, he'd bid nine.
Hell no. Would you have bid nine?
No. Fuck no.
No. Fuck no. I was gonna bid
one.
Alright. I was gonna pick eight.
Alright, so you gotta name the names, Baron.
No pause between all that.
Name the names.
Here we go.
Okay, well, Daniel Radcliffe,
Emma Watson,
Rupert Grint,
Alan Rickman,
Michael Gammon,
Maggie Smith,
and Ray Fines.
You're a fucking hero.
You're my hero.
Can I just say?
He's a worthy winner. Can I just say? He's a worthy winner.
Can I just say?
The one name I had was none of those names.
Robert Pattinson.
Yes.
Who is it?
Is he listed?
He's probably listed.
I can't believe
that you know
I can name more names.
You don't know
who played Harry Potter
but you know
Robert Pattinson?
I couldn't remember.
He was his handsome buddy that got murdered.
That's true.
Leonard does not list him.
He does not list him.
Does he even list him?
Was Alan Rickman?
You mean I would have lost with only one name?
It would have been Alan Rickman.
I think his part was bigger in one of the other ones.
That's the one where they all play golf, right?
Timothy Spall. They win a cup.
It's the golf one. Yeah, that's it. Little Warwick
Davis. Gary Oldman, of course.
Jason Isaacs.
Robbie Coltrane as
Hagrid. Sure. Yeah.
There you go. Well, good job,
Baron. We're going to let you free right now.
That came out wrong.
Baron, we're going to let you free right now.
That came out wrong.
Any plugs before you run off to go do your other show
other than your other show?
Check out Malton on Movies
on the Wolf Pop
Network and
check out Grace and Frankie
on Netflix if you haven't seen it.
That's right. You're going to be in season two of Grace and Frankie.
We're working on it.
With Lily Tomlin and
Jane Fonda.
That's right.
And Martin Sheen and Sam Waterson.
I can name four names.
I can name five
cast members of Grace and Frankie.
Thank you so much
for being here, Baron. Let's hear it for Baron Vaughn,
everybody.
I'm going to leave Mars Attacks
in the mix, though, because it sounds like people really
want to hear a round of Mars Attacks.
It's perfect for this game.
Yeah, it's got everybody.
And Rich, what do you got to
plug besides look for LBJ
eventually? Oh, when you said
that besides look for LBJ, you took all
my plugs.
That's it? That's your jam right now?
Is LB jams?
That's it, Doug.
It's all you need. I used to be on that other show and then it's over but
now I got the but all right I'll be Jerry it's up he's got three modes
sleeping yelling or text totally he's self-recovered LBJ sometime in the next
two years your turn Matt I bet you I bet you he was texting something about James Adomian.
Because that's who he keeps yelling out.
Keep yelling, Adomian!
We wanted to have him for this show,
but he had an overlapping show elsewhere in town.
Yeah, yeah.
Plus he has to show up
at every Bernie Sanders rally.
Because James O'Domian
is Bernie Sanders.
Wouldn't that be crazy
if there wasn't really
a Bernie Sanders?
It was just a James O'Domian
character.
I would vote for him twice.
I'd buy it.
What about you, Matt Bronger?
What else do you got to plug?
Big Dumb Animals on Netflix now, so watch it at What about you, Matt Bronger? What else do you got to plug? Big Dumb Animals on Netflix now,
so watch it at home if you enjoy.
Yeah.
Very funny cover with you and a bear.
Yep, a bear and a wolverine.
A wolverine?
Yeah, so Hugh Jackman and a bear.
Just a hairy, large gay guy.
And Matt Bronger.
His name's Steve.
He's a great guy.
Thanks a lot, you guys,
for coming and doing this.
I'm spending a whole weekend
in Denver coming up soon,
October 24th and 25th.
I'm going to be doing
a Douglas Movies
and a stand-up.
Denver, yeah!
Yeah, October 24th, 25th, stand-up.
Douglas Movies, comedy works in Denver.
DouglasMovies.com.
And thank you guys for the first ever New Orleans.
Great turnout.
The turnout tonight was huge.
It was spectacular.
It was spectacular.
As always,
thank you. As always... Thank you.
As always,
William Shatner's toupee is a shithead.
I apologize.
I read it wrong.
William Shatner's toupee
is on a shithead.
I don't know what his beef is with...
Shatner.
And this one is going to bring the house down.
Bobby Jindal is a shithead.
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