Doug Loves Movies - Rider Strong, Graham Elwood and Geoff Tate guest

Episode Date: February 22, 2016

Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes Rider Strong, Graham Elwood and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at ...https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming ladies, 50 seats with 50 hazard rockboard kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, because Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug, and I love movies.
Starting point is 00:00:27 This is Doug Loves Movies. I almost said, I like movies. I don't know why. Maybe because it's just early in the year, and there's only been one good one so far. We all know what that is. The Revenant. No, that came out last year for us people that live in LA. And that's where
Starting point is 00:00:46 we are right now. We're coming to you from the Nerd Melt showroom in the back of Meltdown Comics. It's Sunday, February 21st, 2016. What's your name tag, Sitch, Los Angeles? Do we have some good ones? Is that a box of donuts?
Starting point is 00:01:02 It sure is. Alright, well, congratulations on being chosen. And look out everybody's faces. Because the donuts are going to be flying. We've got this, is this a Tigger? Oh, what's his name? What are those guys called? Calvin and Hobbes.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Yeah, and it's, how did you make that yourself? No, you just like bought it in a store? Do you, can you, do you have the ability to speak? Just shaking his head, I feel, starting to feel guilty that I'm like harassing a mute man. But you, it's, I should have, I'm like staring at you, man. But I should have, I'm like staring at you, can't think of Calvin Hobbes,
Starting point is 00:01:48 and your name tag says, The Hobbes It. So I'm pretty dumb. And so your last name is Hobbes? Yeah, okay. Wow. Do not put him on the witness stand. I like the hand-drawn Jaws poster
Starting point is 00:02:06 that just says Peter instead of Jaws. That's pretty sweet. And there's a hand-drawn Jurassic Park, but I can't tell what you changed it to. Just instead of
Starting point is 00:02:19 Jurassic Park, Catherine. Welcome to Catherine. Catherine. Welcome to Catherine. Ba-ba-ba-ba. All right, that's enough of that. Great job, everybody.
Starting point is 00:02:36 I like how all the people sitting here in the side section don't have name tags. It's almost like you were forced to sit over there because you didn't have one. They're like, go sit in that bus over there. The bus section. Or it's like a roller coaster over there, because you didn't have one. They're like, go sit in that bus over there. The bus section. Or it's like a roller coaster over there. Emotionally. Doug's Plugs, Monday.
Starting point is 00:02:56 That's tomorrow at 2.15 Pacific Time. Getting Doug with High goes live on my YouTube channel with three great guest schedules permitting. Thursday night, I'm doing stand-up at the Improv in Fort Lauderdale. It's a late show at 10 o'clock, but
Starting point is 00:03:11 bring your name tags and we'll play Last Man Stanton at the end. And then of course I'm doing a full-blown Doug Lo's movies on Saturday. Same place, the Improv at the Hard Rock in Fort Lauderdale. Saturday, September place, the improv at the Hard Rock in Fort Lauderdale. Saturday, September 27th at 420. And the next Doug Loves Movies here at Meltdown Comics is Sunday, March 6th at, wait for it, 420.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Douglovesmovies.com, Douglovesmovies.com. Douglovesmovies.com. Douglovesmovies.com. The prize bag today includes a VHS copy of the episode of Angel entitled Reunion. So I bet you Buffy's involved in that one because who else would Angel reunite with? Charisma Carpenter.
Starting point is 00:04:04 I got some Deadpool coasters that I stole from the Arclight Cinemas here in Hollywood. And, oh, another VHS. It's two VHSs every time lately. And so the second one here is an episode of a show that was on the WB called Movie Stars.
Starting point is 00:04:22 And the episode's called Third Times a Charm. I think that show is canceled after four episodes. And then a show that I hope will rage on and on for many years to come, Not Safe with Nikki Glaser. I was on it last week.
Starting point is 00:04:42 I was on last week's episode. And they give you a backpack full of sex stuff. And I'm giving away what is from that bag what is probably the most prized, the most exciting, maybe not for the ladies here today, but a gentleman in the prize bag today is a... What the fuck is it called?
Starting point is 00:05:12 No, it's not a shake weight no it's something much more distinguished and refined and it's called auto blow and this particular model is auto-blow 2+. So I guess they're saying you might try it a second time before the shame sets in so deeply. But as you can see, the box is completely sealed. I'm not giving you a used auto-blow. And then for some reason reason there's this attachment. No idea. So somebody's gonna win all of this stuff,
Starting point is 00:06:01 plus the stuff that my guests bring. It's gonna be very competitive games today, I think. I feel a strong competitive nature from these three. Please give a big warm welcome to Jeff Tate, Graham Elwood, and Ryder Strong. All right, nobody wants to win the Pete Holmes Award, and I respect that. That's a smart way to go. So let's just start with our first time ever guest
Starting point is 00:06:42 in the center seat tonight. Let's hear it for Ryder Strong is here, you guys. Thank you. Boy meets world, girl meets world, cabin fever. And now a motion picture that I'm excited to help promote. They were like, can we send you a screener for when Ryder comes on the show? And I said, I've seen
Starting point is 00:07:05 this, motherfuckers. I don't know why I talk to them that way. Listen, you motherfuckers. Harsh. I saw this movie already. It's called Too Late. And it's, when and where can people see it? So, we're going to be doing a CineFamily screening March 5th, but then
Starting point is 00:07:21 the real release date is the 18th in LA, and then Austin a week after that, and then New York, it'll be in 20 markets. And the fascinating thing about this movie is that the filmmakers insist that it be shown
Starting point is 00:07:37 on film, on 35 millimeter film, and will not allow it to be shown any other way, and would not take a distribution deal with a same day and date vod release and that of course handcuffs you you're not you there's a chance your movie's not going to ever come out when you do that right but the movie turned out so good that people had to capitulate yeah and really like uh fantastic fest was a huge boon too because that was where it found its audience first and that's where I saw it. We played the LA Film Festival, and then when we played Fantastic
Starting point is 00:08:07 is when people really went crazy and I think found its audience. It's a genre film, but it's also kind of an homage to film itself. It's shot on 35mm, obviously. And an amazing showcase for John Hawks. We already know how great he is, but he's really, really great in it.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Jeff is agreeing with me. And Graham hasn't arrived yet. But... Can I ask... He's being unusually quiet over there. Can I ask a question about the movie? Oh, please. Jeff Tate, everybody.
Starting point is 00:08:43 All right. All right, all right. That's almost writer's strong level. I'll take it. There's a little less shouting. People will use their mouths when they heard he was here.
Starting point is 00:08:56 I wasn't on two of his television shows. I'm just affable. What's your question? What genre is it? It's a detective story It's like a film noir kind of deal Yeah I'm in
Starting point is 00:09:10 The tricky thing about the film is It's only five scenes And each scene is shot In one shot on 35mm So it's 20 minutes long But they don't go out of their way To make you think that it's 20 minutes long. Like rope, yeah. But they don't go out of their way to make you think that it's...
Starting point is 00:09:27 No, it's crazy complicated. Like, you know, there's gunshots. There's murders. There's lots of... You know, it's not... It's, yeah. Shit really goes down in these one-take sequences.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Well, like, our opening... The opening scene, for instance... Can I guess? Yeah, go. Guy rides a horse onto a train. No. That would have been badass, though. Would have been better than Lime Rancher.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Is it too late to pitch ideas for this movie? Yeah. Yeah, that's why they called it too late. Oh, my God. That was a trap that wasn't even hidden and I walked into it. Yeah, you just... You're the first person ever to get both feet in a bear trap.
Starting point is 00:10:15 He walked in and went, Ow, this hurts! Oh no, I gotta get it again! He tried to remove it the first time with the second foot and then it... No, he just hopped right into it. He thought it was a puddle. If I put the other foot in, it would
Starting point is 00:10:29 make it hurt half as much on each foot, but it was like twice as much. The pain of one foot took your mind off the pain of the other. Very smart. And that's Graham Elwood, everybody! Hey! What's up? Take control, Melta.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Take control of your comic book store. I'm going to be appearing, as I do annually, on Graham's podcast, Comedy Film Nerds. When will it come out? We're taping it Tuesday. We're taping it Tuesday. It'll come out Tuesday the 23rd. It'll be our Oscar preview.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Yeah, where we give you all the picks for your Oscar pools and I heavily recommend that you don't pay attention to mine. I tend to vote emotionally. No, it's just you know, it's
Starting point is 00:11:24 weird how every year it seems to be less and less of a crapshoot but there's still going to be an occasional uh surprise yeah there's always there's always crazy surprise i actually just watched the nominated short animated and live action movies i did that too yeah those are great that live action were amazing yeah all fucking crazy heavy. Crazy heavy. Like the lightest one I thought had the most emotional impact because it wasn't so fucking heavy. Right.
Starting point is 00:11:51 And it had a sweet ending. But even that ending was like intense. It was like a lot of crying. A lot of people going, I want my money back. What about, and the cartoons, the animated ones, I like World of Tomorrow the best. I mean, we'll talk about this on your podcast.
Starting point is 00:12:13 But World of Tomorrow is available on Netflix now, and it is really, it's like cute and bleak at the same time. That movie was really, that's the one that's going to. Like Daria. Yeah, it's like Daria. Thank you, Jeff. There we go, guys. Is there a horse that jumps onto a train in World of Tomorrow?
Starting point is 00:12:34 That's not how I talk, Graham. That's how Graham talks when he's talking like an idiot. I don't see it. He sounds real smart. Ryder, I'm sorry to put you in between these two guys. Graham asked to sit on the end, so I got stuck in the middle. Oh, you worked it out, did you? I gotta be mobile.
Starting point is 00:12:54 I can't be trapped in the middle of two beards. You know what I mean? Graham, when was the last time you sat in a middle seat on an airplane? Never. The last time was never? Never. It's never happened. You're a baby. baby you're like get me out of this seat bullshit I deserve an upgrade it's been a while that I had it's yeah we work
Starting point is 00:13:13 pretty hard to not sit in the middle yeah it ain't gonna happen which I concentrate more on something else I prefer the middle seat you like it well you know you sit naturally the big guy with his arms crossed that's what the middle seat guy always does yeah does this middle seat always play the lone ranger no graham you get to choose what movie you watch oh oh cool so yeah sometimes it's limited sometimes you just bring a copy of lone ranger with you everywhere yep it's I got it on my phone man you guys got to get these new iPhones but so too late is a really cool movie and that's a nice edit point right back into the action there
Starting point is 00:14:01 We can jump right back into the action there. What was the last motion picture that you've either, you know, in the theater or at home? Let's go start with Ryder. What was the last movie that you saw? I saw The Witch on Friday. Did you like it? I did. I really liked it.
Starting point is 00:14:25 You know, I think my expectations were a little high because people talked about it a lot coming out of Fantastic Fest. Yeah, it was really... I think it was at Sundance, too. And it had all this hype. Hyped. So I kind of had, like, I think a better movie in my head, which sucks, but it's a strange film, which I like, you know, I feel like that's rare nowadays. It's very...
Starting point is 00:14:39 To go see a strange movie in the theater. It's very committed to presenting a time period and a situation that does not interest me. Like, I could not get into it. Even though I was acknowledging in my head, this should be really scary to me. I was just like, this is just so alien to me that for some reason I can't get into it. But I want to see it again. The acting was so good.
Starting point is 00:15:02 The acting is so good. I mean, that is such a challenge to try and do all that It really feels like the time period and the Puritan attitudes and everything are really intense. And yet it still feels very human.
Starting point is 00:15:14 You know, the kid actors are great. It's a really, it's a cool movie. Yeah, so we're going to disagree on this one. Yeah. But when we come back, we're going to talk about
Starting point is 00:15:23 how much I love Cabin Fever 2. All right. Have you even seen that? I've never seen that. I'm in Cabin Fever 2. You are? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:31 I'm in the first five minutes. I get hit by a school bus. So it's like, right. And that's why I love the idea. It was like, come back and do, you know, you survived. And the only reason I survived is because I couldn't play dead. If you watch the end of Cabin Fever, I'm supposed to be dead, but my hand was twitching, and so a big fan base was like, oh, he's still alive.
Starting point is 00:15:50 So then when they did the sequel, they were like, well, you come back, you'll crawl out of the water, survive, and then we'll hit you with a school bus. I'm like, I'm totally in. Well, now I got to end the launch at least the beginning of that movie. That's a great tip for any young actors out there
Starting point is 00:16:04 that don't want to be fucking... When you're dead, just twitch away. Just shake like a motherfucker. Just shake and just be like... If you get cast as a dead body on CSI, just milk it. Maybe even occasionally go, I'm dead, I'm dead. I'm so dead.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Can't believe how dead I am. Yeah, but no. I see the light. Oh, it's not that bright. It's not that bright. It's actually kind of dim. I'm awake. I'm awake.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Man, I wish I could get in on this riff. Just jump on a horse and come right on to it. Heart, heart. Watch this, everybody. This guy was on TV. I'm a better actor. You got that. Eyes are moving.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Your eyes are going crazy. Jeff Tate in Cabin Fever 3. That was just me. In a middle seat. Fuck. Cabin Fever 3. That was just me. I'm in a middle seat. What? Fuck. I totally wasn't dead, guys. What was the last movie you saw, Jeff?
Starting point is 00:17:17 On Friday night, after we did Doug Lowe's movies, just to let you know, I should have only eaten half of that pot brownie. Thanks for the update. Yeah. I found out when I started
Starting point is 00:17:30 spitting Gatorade all over myself because I was watching Tropic Thunder and I was laughing at things that were about to be said. I was so fucking stoned that I was like,
Starting point is 00:17:41 oh, Robert Downey Jr. about to do that. And then I would just like, Gatorade was coming out of my mouth. I made like, oh, Robert Downey Jr. about to do that. And then I would just like, Gatorade was coming out of my mouth. I made a big mess, but it's not my house, so I don't care. That's it? Yeah, man, we talked about Deadpool and the Martian on Friday, and then yesterday we saw a rock and roll show.
Starting point is 00:18:02 I haven't seen another movie, just Tropic Thunder. Yeah, that's true. About half of it. We went and saw a rock and roll show. I haven't seen another movie, just Tropic Thunder. Yeah, that's true. About half of it. We went and saw a music show. We saw our buddy Shooter Jennings did a show with Lucas Nelson. Yep. And it was advertised as acoustic, but it's probably the loudest acoustic show
Starting point is 00:18:18 I've ever seen. Yeah? They fucking bang the shit out of their guitars. Yeah? And it was a nice time. We spent an evening in downtown Santa Ana, which is not something I ever intended to do.
Starting point is 00:18:31 And I had a pretty good time. We ate at a place called the Playground. Oh, yeah. And it's the last place Grandma will ever want to eat because it's just all delicious meats.
Starting point is 00:18:44 It's very meaty. They had some veggie stuff. Yeah, they had some green stuff. It's true. I love it when meat eaters say, that's some green on there. You could eat that, Graham. That was some green stuff, right? Yeah, the napkins look pretty tasty. You could chew on a straw.
Starting point is 00:18:59 That's vegan. So I had a salad. You could have a salad. And what I mean. So I had a salad. You're going to have a salad. And what I was saying was positive in your regard. Like, you could go to the salad. Yeah, I was trying to help you out. You're like, ugh. You cannot do that fucking dumb guy voice.
Starting point is 00:19:15 I was trying to help you out. Graham, this was the day Graham got stuck on dumb voice. Take control. He did it so much, he couldn't change it back. Take control, Graham. Take control of your dumb guy voice. Take control of your six-year-old Bane. Is that really your Bane impression, Jeff?
Starting point is 00:19:33 Or are you doing an impression of someone who can't do an impression of Bane? I'm doing as good an impression of Bane as Graham does of me. I'm Bane. Oh, that's interesting, yes. I'm Bane. Now I that's interesting. Yes. I'm Bane. I'm a monster. Now I understand all the complexities of that performance.
Starting point is 00:19:49 I take control of your bane boys. I'm doing an impression of Jeff's impression of my impression of him doing my bane. Trace that back, motherfucker. I just The Matrix'd you. I'm Graham. I can't apologize enough. I just The Matrix'd you. I'm Graham.
Starting point is 00:20:05 I can't apologize enough. I can't apologize enough to Ryder. What was the last movie you saw, Graham? Aside from the Oscars. The shorts. You watched all the shorts. I saw Deadpool, which I loved. Yeah, it's a very entertaining movie.
Starting point is 00:20:27 I've seen it twice. Yeah, I was really skeptical going into it. I was like, it's going to be too much fucking Ryan Reynolds, all quippy quippertins. But it was great. And the murder and the sex jokes and everything else. Just, yeah, come for the murder jokes. Stay for the sex jokes and everything else. Just, yeah, come for the murder jokes. Save murder.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Save for the sex jokes and everything else. Everything is great. You were worried a movie that starred Ryan Reynolds as a quippy fella was going to be too much Ryan Reynolds being quippy, and it was all Ryan Reynolds being quippy, and you were fine with it? Yes.
Starting point is 00:20:59 I think the quips were at a nice level. Well, the quips were consistent with the level. They were good quips. The quips were consistent with the Deadpool comic. That's what I like. In other movies, and this had a great script, usually Ryan Reynolds is in some dumb, like, 50 dates and a shoe or whatever kind of movies. That's definitely maybe the title of that movie.
Starting point is 00:21:24 I see what you did there. I see what you did there. I see what you did there. We're all captive. Yeah, so normally he's on one of those movies where the script is horrible so it's, you know the director who's just some sort of
Starting point is 00:21:36 studio puppet is like, Ryan, just quip your way through this dumb scene and he's like, quip, quip, quip and it's like, oh, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:21:43 He's good at it. I mean, that's where he started on the you know sitcom or whatever yeah two guys a girl and a pizza place yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:21:50 and somebody tweeted at me a couple times now so it might even be a meme but somebody said the tagline for Deadpool should have been a guy a girl
Starting point is 00:21:59 and a pizza face that's good I like that that's a good one. That would be good, but I think a lot of people are saying it now, so I don't want to give
Starting point is 00:22:08 any one person credit for it. But seriously, though, go check out 50 Dates in a Shoe. It's really good. Sounds better than Deadpool to me. Well, what happens there
Starting point is 00:22:19 is Ryan Reynolds has to marry that shoe so he can maintain American citizenship. It's like a green card twist. It's the shoe that got thrown at George W. Bush.
Starting point is 00:22:34 It's the same shoe. You could say that Graham doesn't want to marry that movie. He wants to be just friends. Man, we're getting buried here
Starting point is 00:22:45 Reynolds titles does anybody else have one I'm waiting it's like a weird version of Last Man Stanton where he has to be
Starting point is 00:22:58 working into a conversation which TJ Miller has done on this on this show. What was the last movie I saw, Jeff? Are you serious?
Starting point is 00:23:11 Didn't I tell you in the car yesterday? Oh, um, uh, uh, how to be single. Yeah. I gotta tell you guys, do not spend your money because they don't even try to tell you. In fact, it's every example in the movies like this is not how you should be single this is these people are going about it all wrong how to be a fuck-up is what the movie should be called but it does have some people i like in it so uh i got through it but i was it was it was frustrating. I like that Damon Wayans Jr. a lot.
Starting point is 00:23:46 He's very funny. Best Wayans. He's the best Wayans. Were you there at the Wayans weigh-in? They're all like featherweights Except for I guess a couple of them are big Let's move on Enough about Black Dong
Starting point is 00:24:13 Let's go to the part of the show Where I say We were talking about dicks Yeah we were talking about how big their Dicks were Oh I rescind all my statements. I am unaware of the size of Wayne's dicks. Let the games begin!
Starting point is 00:24:36 Or as Jeff Tate would say, Let the games begin! We were born in the shadows, and they're born in them. I am more than a shadow. I'm more than a shadow. I am a shadow. There's games. I'm Jeff. Wait, hold up. I'm Graham.
Starting point is 00:24:53 I'm the... Do you want our things? Yes, please. Let's do that first. What do you got for the prize bag, Graham? I've got a Podfest medium ladies shirt. So that's right, sir. Did you have the dates for the next Podfest? Yeah, but I'm not saying. No, we have them.
Starting point is 00:25:19 We have the location. And it's going to be at the Sofitel again. It's in September. We have the dates. We're going to release them soon. We're just doing some stuff. And I got a comedy film where it's guide to movies. Cool. But keep your It's in September. We have the dates. We're going to release them soon. We're just doing some stuff. And I got a comedy film where it's guide to movies.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Cool. But keep your September open, you guys. I'll just say that. Just be ready for it. It's going to happen in September. We've already locked down some big shows.
Starting point is 00:25:35 It's going to be super fun. Year five. Podfest. What's up? You can clap for Podfest, you guys. Wow. I didn't know Jeff Bush was going to be on the show.
Starting point is 00:25:49 So, uh... Clap for Podfest! Clap for it! Love it! Love me! My dad created the first Podfest. Maybe if you release those dates, they could just get him to buy tickets to it. You don't need the applause.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Tell him the dates. Release some secret right here. Release some secret. Sure, Jeff. What does that even mean, release some secret? Ryder's turn to tell us what he brought. All right, I got a Too Late poster, and then I have the first season of Boy Meets World on DVD.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Nice. And then I have a book. This is a project. My brother is a photographer and he did this project called The Dirty Minds Project, which is a series of photographs that are basically visual puns.
Starting point is 00:26:38 So sexual visual puns. So basically you read through the book and you get to see how dirty your mind is if you understand what each one of these is. So if you read through the book and you get to see how dirty your mind is if you understand what each one of these is. So if you know, for instance, parting the meat curtains and then you're watching a guy part the meat curtains,
Starting point is 00:26:53 it's pretty genius. So that's going in there. It's nothing like the boner laughter combo. And Jeff, what do you got? I have a bag. With.
Starting point is 00:27:10 I brought Billy Joel's The Stranger. On vinyl. I saw something on Twitter. You're into the Billy Joel now. Yeah, I'm into him now. No, he's just got this new channel on satellite radio and I was listening to it. He like talks in between
Starting point is 00:27:27 all the songs just about, you know, how he thought of it or, you know, just something about his life and I'm really enjoying it. And I brought The Dark Knight on DVD,
Starting point is 00:27:38 two discs, special edition. That's somebody's. And I brought the Jack Reacher book, Never Go Back, which is the book that the next movie is based on so you can get a jumpstart you can read this book and be real insufferable around your friends before that movie comes out is this the author on the back yep looks like Bryan
Starting point is 00:28:00 Cranston yeah Bryan Cranston is a talented fella. What else you got? Is that it? Yep. These are the things for the bag. These things I just bought for myself. I saw some stuff from Meltdown Comics is in that bag. I thought you were going to give that stuff away. No, I'm going to keep it, but I got the Phantom Pop Vinyl
Starting point is 00:28:20 because I'm keeping it. Hey, audience, here's what you're not getting. Yeah, yeah. You want to know what you're not getting? That Phantom Pop vinyl, this Big Trouble
Starting point is 00:28:31 in Little China comic book, and the dates for Podfest. That's goddamn right. You're not getting any of that stuff. You're waiting. Yeah, a lot of things are being kept close
Starting point is 00:28:41 to the vest today. All right, gentlemen. Lots of fun name tags in the crowd. You've got to pick one and bring it back to your seat. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody. This episode is brought to you in part by Postmates.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Postmates is transforming the way local goods move around a city by enabling anyone to get any product delivered in under one hour. And you can get a free delivery with the code Doug. The Postmates network of couriers can deliver from anywhere. Think GameStop, Chipotle, Walgreens, McDonald's, 7-Eleven, or any other local store or restaurant. Literally everywhere. With a few taps, Postmates will bring any product right to your door in less than one hour.
Starting point is 00:29:29 It's like magic. So the next time you don't want to leave your game, download the Postmates app on iTunes or Android and enter the code Doug for a free first delivery. Today's episode is also brought to you in part by CISO. CISO is a premium comedy streaming service serving up-on-demand, 24-7 streaming comedy anytime, anywhere.
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Starting point is 00:30:40 a new animated series based on the wildly successful webcomic. Try it now. Go to CISO.com and stream for free today. No credit card needed. Back to the show. All right, we're back. Who are you playing for, Graham? I'm playing for Dr. Strange Noah or Dr. Strange Genoa?
Starting point is 00:31:00 Genoa. Genoa? Dr. Strange Noah. I think she said Genoa. And then you just keep going Genoa? Genoa. Dr. Strand Genoa. I think she said Genoa. And then you just keep going Genoa. Genoa. I don't want to pronounce it correctly.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Genoa. Genoa. Stop doing that. Is this a scene from Hail Caesar? Okay, alright. Are those donuts at the bottom, too? Yeah. I'm going to eat them.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Oh, you got the donuts? Yes. All right. So you don't want to throw them at people? I want to eat one and then throw the rest. This guy in the front row has even bigger ones. I'm going to chuck those hard. Jeff's got them now.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Nice. Who are you playing for, Ryder? went for the hobbs it hobbs it which is is your name hobson or his name is hobbs the doll right i figured that much but yeah what the is your name i i really doesn't want to give out his name he barely wants to speak okay so we'll just i'm just playing for you, the Hobzit. That might be... Is this a live when no one else is around? It talks to him. So you're not playing for him. You should have took this name tag off this real live tiger.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Who are you playing for, Jeff? I'm playing for Hitomi Alone. She made a Home Alone poster, put her face where Macaulay Culkin's would be. She's got her hands on her face, and you and I are the wet bandits. Wet bandits. Yep.
Starting point is 00:32:38 See? That's the porn version. You have the expression of a criminal, and I have the expression of your fucking idiot friend who's like, I thought your aunt lived here. Why are we breaking in? That would be a great Home Alone movie. The unknowing criminal.
Starting point is 00:32:59 What are we doing? There's just this kid. Yeah. Holy shit. I'm eating this one those are beautiful all right start eating them now who's hungry for donut yeah there's a giant s'mores donut yeah don't throw that s'mores donut I won't do I'm gonna eat the good ones right in the pocket did you see see that pass and that reception? Holy shit. I feel like I won't be able to do that again.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Graham just shook his head at me to let me know a donut was good. Oh, yeah. Crazy. Alright. Oh! Crazy. All right. Who wants a donut? All right, Peter, I'm going to hit your sign.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Yeah, hit that Jaws sign. I love this game. Just nailed it. Peter, I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. I was not trying to hit you, sir. Death by donut. Hold that thing up again. He's going to sue.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Oh! That was really impressive. Nice work, Peter. Have you ever thrown a donut at an audience before, Red? I have not. You want to? Yeah, Peter. Have you ever thrown a donut at an audience before, Rhett? I have not. You want to? Yeah, sure, I'll go for it. Okay, what's that?
Starting point is 00:34:32 I'm going to try and hit that sign. I can't even see what it is. Oh, the life aquatic. Whoa! You helped me out there a little bit. I think you went through that sign. Now, these powdered ones are little. I bet you I could throw it right in someone's mouth.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Yes. Open your mouths, everybody. Open your mouth. This cult gets weirder and weirder. Oh, he's in. Well, this weirdo's got one. What are you doing? That's why he's throwing it over him.
Starting point is 00:35:03 I'm going to chuck it. I'm going to fucking smash your face. It's going to explode on your face like we're doing a weird donut porn. No, I'll do it like you're a seal. Okay, ready? All right, open your mouth. Come on.
Starting point is 00:35:18 What's your name? Okay, Flipper. Come on now. A few chocolate ones and his face will look like seal. Wow. Oh. Wow. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Doug, wow. What was that? And you're never going to survive. Come on, Flipper. He sat down. He doesn't want to do it anymore. Yeah, I'm going to get this one right in his mouth. All right, open your mouth.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Oh. We're going to do that again. We're going to get one. We're going to do that again. We're going to get one. We're going to get one right. Get back on your knees. No, no, no. I don't want you to get closer to me. Don't touch the stage either.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Come on now, guys. It's Sunday. It's the Lord's Day. Open your mouth. One, two, guys. It's Sunday. It's the Lord's Day. Open your mouth. One, two, three. Oh! In and out. That was like the Super Bowl.
Starting point is 00:36:12 That was good, though. He kept it on his chest. But it kind of, you got too much teeth. Yeah, it holds a lot of people back in that game. I know. He could have gone bro and donut catching.
Starting point is 00:36:28 I know. But, you know, what are you going to do? What do you do for a living? I work at Toyota. He works at Toyota. Graham. Oh, I'm sorry. That's not what he sounds like.
Starting point is 00:36:39 I thought he was doing an impression of Jeff. No, he's talking about Toyota. I drive a Toyota. You really want to keep doing this, Graham? Cars. You want to keep poking this bear? As soon as I get all this s'mores donut off my hands and beard,
Starting point is 00:36:54 I'm going to get my self-confidence back, and then you're going down. I was doing an impression of Flipper. Yeah, he sounds real dumb. I know. Throw a of Flipper. Yeah, he sounds real dumb. I know. Throw a donut at my face.
Starting point is 00:37:11 I'm Jeff, or whatever your name is. Why do I keep doing that? Seriously, Toyotas are good cars. Yes, Toyotas. Please sponsor this program, Toyota. You sold me, but you give my work props? You should be the other way around. Fuck my work. He's launched into a soliloquy.
Starting point is 00:37:39 By the third word, I tuned out. It's funny, he's not in sales. He's in service. He sounds more like a salesman. Get yourself on the sales floor, Chad, and fucking start moving some units. You know, maybe have a daily donut toss where, you know,
Starting point is 00:38:00 you give people a break if they can get it in your mouth. And if they get it in your mouth, you're like, $500 off the new Toyota Prius or whatever. Or a gas card or something. Guys, I'm all about ideas. Did anybody make a name tag that was just, like, on a bunch of napkins?
Starting point is 00:38:19 Or, like, wet naps? Yeah, your hand's looking pretty gross right now. Yeah, like a damp washcloth with a little thing of water that's... No. A used Kleenex was just offered. Really disgusting offer. Oh, wadded up...
Starting point is 00:38:37 There you go. Look at that. Aren't you an angel? Thank you so much. Oh, yeah, you're gonna clean up. She has to carry napkins around. Her boyfriend gets donuts thrown at him all the time. She probably has a whole bunch in there.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Stop telling people to throw their stuff at you. All right, let's play fifth. And that's the game where I'm going to say the final line from a motion picture. And the first one of you guys that can guess correctly, first guy on stage who can tell me the correct name of the movie, guess as many times as you want. Do we just blurt it out or are we ready for the next? Blurt it.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah, it's blurting time. And the line is, With pleasure, M, with pleasure. Casino Royale. Nope. Spectre. Nope. Quantum of Solace.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Nope. Wow. The World Never Dies. Nope. It's clearly a Bond film, which I'm horrible at. That's all of them, right? With pleasure, M? Oh, no, that's Her Majesty's Secret Service.
Starting point is 00:39:45 With pleasure. Nope. Octopussy. Nope. North by Northwest. The Eiger Sanctuary. Tomorrow Never Dies. Nope.
Starting point is 00:39:53 GoldenEye. Nope. Thunderball. Dr. No. Nope. No, no. Fucktown. Nope.
Starting point is 00:39:59 The earlier Casino Royale. No. The Living Daylights. I knew what you meant the first time so I didn't give it to you the living daylights no Dr. No
Starting point is 00:40:10 no Moonraker no this I am so excited that you're gonna name every one but the correct one no on 8 mile
Starting point is 00:40:18 uh shit uh Archer I got nothing wait that's not never mind we got 50 minutes you guys work it out damn Uh, shit. Archer? I got nothing. Wait, that's not, never mind.
Starting point is 00:40:27 We got 50 minutes, you guys. Work it out. With pleasure. Don't yell one out, please. With pleasure, Em. With pleasure. Wow. Just muttering it. The world is not enough.
Starting point is 00:40:43 No. I feel like we've covered notes. License to kill. Wow. The world is not enough. No. License to kill. Is that one of them? No. It is one of them. No. The spy who shagged me. No. Baby, it's cold outside.
Starting point is 00:41:06 It's not Thunderball. It's not... Too late. Is it too late? I would know that. No, it's not too late. It's not Never Say Never Again. It's... Oh, that's the name of one, too, right?
Starting point is 00:41:16 Yeah. Some people don't... I mean, why did we get hooked on Bond to begin with? Is there... I don't know. We're just hooked on Bond. Oh, okay. There's not like a Bond character named M?
Starting point is 00:41:28 There could be some other weird movie where the last line of the movie is calling somebody M. Like maybe the Mary Tyler Moore movie. She always had an M on her wall. The Mary Tyler Moore feature film. That was great. Some guy's about to go down on her at the end of the movie.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Pleasure, Em. With pleasure. Wait, is that how the J.K. Barr movie ends? No, the Mary Tyler Moore movie. And then the song comes up. Who can turn the world on with a smile? Skyfall. Correct!
Starting point is 00:42:03 Oh! That took way too long. Nice. Wow. I'm fucking real good at this game. You guys just, it was masterful the way you danced around that one. Naming every other Daniel Craig movie immediately. But it is, it just goes to show you,
Starting point is 00:42:28 Skyfall, dumb title. What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. Yeah. Wise. And then Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern show up at the end. Yeah. Just sitting there screaming,
Starting point is 00:42:43 Dench! Yeah. Just sitting there screaming, Dench! It's a fun name to be angry about. All right, so Jeff won that game, so he gets to go first in a round of Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? Jeff, I'm going to tell you the tagline
Starting point is 00:42:58 from a motion picture, and you have to try to guess which one it is. You only get one guess, and when you fail, I should say if you fail, Ryder will get to have a shot at it and then Graham, et cetera. What movie had the tagline
Starting point is 00:43:17 Blood Lost, Life Found? Jeff Tate. Blood lost, life found. Are you playing dead now? Cabin fever. Terrific guess. No. Ryder, what do you think it is?
Starting point is 00:43:45 Blood lost, life found? Mm-hmm. But with periods and not question marks. Right. It's like a Billboard average. Blood lost, family found? Blood lost, life found. Life found.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Two simple statements. I have no clue. The only thing I can think of is that it's like a vampire movie, so I'll say Interview with a Vampire. That's not a bad guess. It's incorrect. Yeah. Graham?
Starting point is 00:44:19 There's no reason to crack your own neck. There's no reason to break your own bones. There's no reason to break your own bones. I'm doing a lot of self-chiropractic lately, and it's very effective. I think it's pretty obvious what it is. No guess? I got one. Okay. No guess? I got one.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Vampire Chronicles. That's a terrific guess. I don't even know if that's a thing. I don't know what that is. It's a real movie, and that was the tagline. There's a movie called The Vampire Chronicles? Yeah, Leif Garrett was a known guest. Yeah, Leif Garrett, of course. Actually, Leif Garrett's dad,
Starting point is 00:45:09 Reginald Garrett, was in it. It came out in 1972, and he's a reporter tracking down vampires in Cleveland. Look it up. Blood Lost, life found is the tagline for, interestingly enough,
Starting point is 00:45:31 the revenant. That's the tagline for the revenant. I thought the tagline was just bear fight. Grizzly cock. Horse jumper Cold as fuck
Starting point is 00:45:48 Yeah that's all Yeah Cold Hashtag CAF Yeah Leo should win the award For most tortured actor For sure
Starting point is 00:45:57 Yeah Alright so Nobody got that one right So let's try another one We'll start with you again Jeff What movie has the tagline Terror in the Flesh?
Starting point is 00:46:12 Somebody just rubbed one out in the back. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, the donut. Why did you do that? Didn't you say Terror with my Flesh? The witch.
Starting point is 00:46:27 No. That is a good guess, though. That's a good guess. What do you think, Ryder? Cabin fever. That's, of course, correct. Yeah, you got a cabin fever a little early there, Jeff. You got it ahead of season i double bluffed
Starting point is 00:46:47 myself out of the right answer there all right this next one we'll start with graham and it's the tagline is bullies beware bullies beware uh leftfganistan that of course is a documentary that Graham made uh good plug for your movie
Starting point is 00:47:13 sounds like a lot of you have been there is it on uh it's wow Jesus my chair is broken it's on netflix is it on netflix or do they have to go to a site somewhere i was just making a joke as you did a movie he was in yeah you can get into comedy film
Starting point is 00:47:36 nerds okay um all right moving on damn it yeah uh jeff what do you think it is? Drill bit Taylor. Oh. That would make a lot of sense, but no. You don't get another guess, right? Are you just going to keep going? I would say, how about Diary of a Wimpy Kid? Oh, that's another good one. Yeah, that's terrific. No.
Starting point is 00:48:03 So condescending. No, it's really good that you tried. It was a really good guess. So good, Ryder. Guys, it's flattering that you all have impressions of me, but it's probably confusing for the listener. If everyone's doing an impression of me, people at home are going to be like, that's a lot of Jeff.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Big Jeff episode. Bullies Beware is the tagline from a movie in which Graham Elwood appears as a security guard called the Martial Arts Kid. Yeah, Graham. Want to tell us a little bit about that one? It's on your
Starting point is 00:48:39 IMDB page. Playing a security guard, I just had to get into the role. What'd you do watch Paul Blart a few times oh yeah martial arts kid oh that movie's awesome
Starting point is 00:48:51 it stars Don the Dragon Wilson and Cynthia Rothrock who are yeah does somebody get in trouble do you yell at somebody or what happens yeah well
Starting point is 00:49:00 Don the Dragon Wilson and this other amazing martial artist TJ Storm are having a fight. Because one kid is, you know, there's like a Cobra Kai dojo. And they get into a fight. And they're smashing up this batting cage. And I come out and go, hey, you guys got to settle it down.
Starting point is 00:49:18 And they look at me and I go, oh, that's cool. You got another minute or whatever. It's great. It's good stuff. Honestly, it's because I have dark hair that the academy didn't have me in it because I. It's great. It's good stuff. It's, I mean, honestly, it's because I have dark hair that the Academy
Starting point is 00:49:28 didn't have me in it because I'm too ethnic. Like, I should have won an Oscar. They're so, Oscar's so white. So white. They only wanted
Starting point is 00:49:38 their movie shown on 17.5 millimeter and it really hamstrung their distribution. It's bullshit. It's total bullshit All right, so Who did we start with that let's say we started with Ryder. No, I start with me. Okay, so Graham
Starting point is 00:49:57 You get to go again Keep in mind everything that's happened so far, Graham. Okay, all right, I get it. A movie about a missing woman and a lost man. Missing woman and a lost man. And a lost man. And a lost man. You know, she might have left. She might be elsewhere.
Starting point is 00:50:33 What? Vanished, perhaps. But she's definitely not around. She's like, she's like over someplace else. Well, there is a movie named vanished that was remade but that with a Dutch movie yeah I'll take either of those was called vanished but the vanishing I think they're called sandy Bullock was in the american version keifer sutherland yeah the danish version is better um did you just say the danish version is rutger you just took a wild
Starting point is 00:51:15 stab and no there's a rusker in it the danish version is better oh but there is a rut they always are there is a rutger um what's. What's a remake that's better than the original? Has that ever happened? Ocean's Eleven. Yeah, it's different in tone, but it's not necessarily better, I don't think. I think it's better. There's been some remakes that were better. I can't think of any off the top of my head.
Starting point is 00:51:37 Right? It's hard to think of one. It is hard to think of one. Yeah. But this movie, she vanishes and he's lost. Yeah, that's the tagline. She vanishes and he's lost. And the movie's called Where's the Remote?
Starting point is 00:51:58 Um, shit. Have you seen my pants? Can't find anything when she's... Um... She's gone. This has gone on for way too long. I don't know. All right.
Starting point is 00:52:19 Yeah. Super Jaime. I don't know. Mary Jane is gone and Doug's lost. That works. I saw that movie. I don't think it was about
Starting point is 00:52:35 finding weed. Pretty sure Doug doesn't have a problem finding it. All right. so let's... Nice try, Graham. Let's move on to Ryder. Oh, it's me next?
Starting point is 00:52:52 Yeah. I think, wasn't it? I don't know how it goes. It started with me, Doug. All right. Yeah, what is it? It's Too Late. Yeah, it's your movie, Too Late.
Starting point is 00:53:02 But it also, to to me feels like Gone Girl could have had the same tagline. So I was trying to trick Graham into saying Gone Girl. And then I was going to say incorrect. That's great. It's fun. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:53:19 I wonder if Alex Trebek did that. I don't know. Maybe it's a college. Uh, you know a college. Harvard. Wrong. Wrong. More specific. Let's play some Last Man Stanton. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:44 Now with Lifelines. Have you played it with a Lifeline, Graham? No, sir, I have not. Here's how it works. If at any point you could do it first round, second round, when you think you're about to get knocked out because you can't think of any, you can go to the person who you're playing for, Genoa. Oh, we got a phone situation.
Starting point is 00:54:07 All right, maybe we call Siri like that person's doing in the back. Siri wouldn't know the answers to this shit. No, Siri's fucking stupid. She'd recommend a website. Like, can you imagine going to somebody on the corner, hey, how do I get to wherever? There's a website. Thanks, right so you each get to use your life
Starting point is 00:54:32 lifeline is your person with your whose name tag you chose okay that's been established I guess and you could do it at any point in the game I do not get a lifeline but I still will play along. And as always, somebody on Twitter suggested an actor or actress for us to use in this game, or is about to suggest one. Where is Gabriel J. Bell? Right back here. Yes, you are.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Right back here. Graham, your impressions are... They're too, like, it's insulting because you get they're so accurate. You know, like, they say imitations are, they're too, like, it's insulting because you get, they're so accurate. You know, like, they say imitation's the sincerest form of flattery, but in your case, it's really mean. Right back here. Sorry. Not like that at all.
Starting point is 00:55:18 All right, Gabriel, where'd you come in from? Let's give you a few more words that he can make fun of. New York. New York. New York. It's almost like having a translator. What do you do in New York? I'm an editor. Oh, I'm an editor.
Starting point is 00:55:38 It's a nullboard profession is what it is. You know what editors do? Yes. Have you edited something that we would be familiar with? No. No. No.
Starting point is 00:55:54 No. Bang. Bunk. What? Is there a pinball machine back there? All right, so you're visiting all the way from New York. Have you seen the show in New York?
Starting point is 00:56:07 At the Gramercy Theater? No, I've actually never made it. Oh, okay. Well, the next one's March 3rd. It's sold out. So I'm glad you found your way into this place. And clearly I have one of the best seats in the house. In the back of this hot box.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Fucking taunting this guy. You drove 3,000 miles for that bullshit. Thanks for coming. He's like fifth row center, man. That's good seats. And he gets to pick who we're going to play. No matter who he says, we have to do it unless it's Danny Trejo.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Mel Gibson. Ooh. Damn you. That's an interesting one. All right, so Ryder got the most right in the last game, so he gets to go first in this one. And then we'll switch the order.
Starting point is 00:57:02 We'll go to Graham, and then me, and then Jeff. then Jeff all right well get the obvious out of the way brave heart let's obviously brave heart very good Graham let's do some Mad Max I'm gonna take Maverick. Wow. Jeff? Lethal Weapon. Okay. Writer. Payback. Oh. Oh. Okay. Brighter.
Starting point is 00:57:46 Payback. Oh. Oh. Oh. If I didn't know any better, I would think somebody's getting auto-blown right now. There's some glaring going on. So is it me now? Oh.
Starting point is 00:58:04 Wait, wait, wait, Wait, wait, wait. I'm coming. Right? That's how I talk, right? I thought you were doing the New York guy. My name's Graham. I palm strike things. I'm Jeff.
Starting point is 00:58:17 Wait. You're doing a shitty impression mashup? No, I fucked it up. It sounds so much like me that I get confused who I'm making fun of. It's so fun. Thanks for making the drive out from New York, by the way. Editors are the backbone of show business. Graham L. would you
Starting point is 00:58:45 answer the question please wait is it me or is it Doug it's you it's you suck on that put that in your mouth do you know why I'm giving back my auto blow? No, Doug, why?
Starting point is 00:59:10 Because I don't need it. Because I know what women want. Jeff. Lead the weapon, too. Yeah, of course. Jeff Lethal Weapon 2 yeah of course The Man Without a Face or is it Two Faces The Man With Two Faces it's The Man Without a Face
Starting point is 00:59:38 no it's The Man Without a Face I know but wouldn't that Two Faces one be pretty cool too yeah that'd be good. Stay out of it, Jeff. Graham? Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome.
Starting point is 00:59:55 Why do you do this to me, Graham? The Road Warrior Beyond the Thunderdome. Mad Thunderdome Warrior. Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome. All right, I'm going to give you the opportunity to use your lifeline to tell you the correct name of that movie. Or you're just out. Which would you like to do?
Starting point is 01:00:19 I'm going to be... Oh, no, I'm going to ask my... Let me ask my lifeline. Hold on. Do I go down there or do I... No, we can just ask from here. What is it? What's it called?
Starting point is 01:00:28 The movie that he's trying to say? Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome. What's the full... What's the actual title? Inside the Thunderdome? What is it? Stop it, Graham. What's the actual title of that movie?
Starting point is 01:00:38 Thunderdome Adjacent. What is it? Thunderdome and Friends. Mad Max Greater Thunderdome Metropolitan Area. Thank you! Thunderdome Mestic Disturbance. What? Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome?
Starting point is 01:00:58 No, though. Yeah. Book it. That's it. What are you saying then, Graham? How's that what's the title what do you guys have agreed upon mad max beyond thunderdome no that's not what i'm saying though but my point is i'm saying mad max inside the thunderdome and beyond
Starting point is 01:01:30 just say a different movie um yeah lethal weapon three late for that what is it huh you've said so much I can't even remember what the right title is. I just know it doesn't have the in there. You throw that extra the in there. Well, that's what she... That was what she fixed? Yeah. So she just said Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.
Starting point is 01:01:56 That's exactly... All right, good. You're still in. Yeah! Jen, oh, ugh! Classic pronunciation. All right. I'll go with The Singing Detective.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Oh, fuck. Yeah. It's a movie. Never even heard of it. It started off as a musical miniseries on PBS, but then they made a movie version of it with Mel Gibson. And he's older and bald in it. Lethal Weapon 3.
Starting point is 01:02:35 Yeah, I wasn't going to be the dick to do that. But I admire it nonetheless. Ryder? Ransom. Ransom. You better pay back that ransom. That's a horrible impression.
Starting point is 01:02:54 That was an impression? That was by Mel Gibson and he said that in both of those movies. Payback was a sequel to Ransom. That changes everything Apocalypto Oh okay
Starting point is 01:03:13 So he wasn't in that one He directed it We accept when somebody's directed something He's in the background with that war paint on Or something at some point He's got some weird teeth exactly the man with half a faith tooth but as long as we're uh you know getting into his directing stuff now i might as well say the passion of the christ up until deadpool the most successful r-rated movie of all time. So keep seeing Deadpool, everybody.
Starting point is 01:03:47 Lethal Weapon 4. I got to say all four Lethal Weapon movies. That's pretty ridiculous. It's going to be your proudest win ever. I'm going to say Conspiracy Theory. Oh. Nice. people said nice It's a conspiracy theory Nice What's the last line of that movie
Starting point is 01:04:16 Why is she on that fucking horse Alright Graham so your Lifeline bailed you out last time So you're still in it, but unfortunately, all the lethal weapons have been taken. And all the Mad Maxes, right? I think so. Or his Mad Max.
Starting point is 01:04:36 Max, Warrior, Dome, those are your three Mellie Gibbs. Mellie Gibbs. Mellie Gibbs. Oh, What Women Want. Already been done. Really? I said that and I even used it in a sentence. What Women Want 2. What Women Are Still Wanting. What women want too. What women are still wanting.
Starting point is 01:05:12 Okay. Then we're going to go with... I mean, it's all on our tongues. Why do we even need to waste time saying it? We're all thinking it. We're all thinking it. We're all thinking it. I thought of a fun stall tactic. What if you just sat there and just kept saying ones we've already said?
Starting point is 01:05:32 Nope, said it. Nope, said it. Nope, said it. Okay, got it. There's some good ones out there, though, that you haven't. But his recent slowdown of being in movies makes it hard, because you've got to think back a little bit. I wonder what happened. Right?
Starting point is 01:05:59 I mean, he used to be in a lot of movies. Maybe he just got tired of making them. I don't know. Edmund Jane headman, Jane Hackman, retired. Oh, shit. Oh, Graham.
Starting point is 01:06:16 We've had such fun with you today. We really have. It's really been great. It's been great. But I think this might be the time where
Starting point is 01:06:24 we're going to say a couple of his other ones do your plugs yeah Hollywood California I will be at the lab at the Hollywood Improv doing this new show grandma would variety hour of where February 27th at 10 30 it's gonna be me emceeing and a bunch of funny comics doing kind of spoof characters and then uh I'm headlining uh skyline comedy cafe in beautiful Appleton Wisconsin oh yeah that sounds like that sounds like some of you have been there March 17th through 19th um check that out. And then the Comedy Film Nerds podcast that Doug will be on, that we listen to every week.
Starting point is 01:07:09 And then we're doing, Comedy Film Nerds is doing live Oscars commentary on Rabble. What? Yeah, on Rabble.tv. So if you go to Rabble.tv, you can sign in. It's for free.
Starting point is 01:07:21 And so we'll be doing live commentary and you can log in and ask us questions. We're going to do giveaways and shit. It's going to be fucking a blast. And we're working on getting a special guest. It'll be myself and Chris Mancini. Comedy Film Nerds on Rabble.TV. Apocalypto 2. Seriously though, do you... I just wish you had something
Starting point is 01:07:41 to plug because that would have given you time to think of something other than Apocalypto 2. And which we all know, I like accurate titles and that movie's called Apocalypto. And there's like one of those Mayans like, that's the face.
Starting point is 01:08:04 The rise of Mayan. The rise of Mayan. She like that's the face. Like, yeah. Um, the rise of Mayan, the rise of Mayan. Um, she got nothing. Uh, earbuds, podcasting documentary. Uh,
Starting point is 01:08:12 that'll be coming out soon. So we're submitting it to festivals. And of course, uh, we're never going to tell you when I'm grandma. Would I have things to plug, but you figure it out. That was a very good impression. The voice keeps getting closer and closer, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:33 You're really almost there. That was great. All right. All right, who's next? So you're out. I'm still going? It's my turn now, right? Yep.
Starting point is 01:08:45 Yeah, fuck it. God damn it. I'm sorry going? It's my turn now, right? Yep. Yeah, fuck it. God damn it. I'm sorry, Genoa. I still got it wrong? How do you say your name again? Genoa. Genoa? Oh, what the fuck?
Starting point is 01:08:57 Like, come on. Genoa. I don't bust people's balls over Graham. Like, people say, hey, Graham, and I go, I'm sorry, it's Graham. Yeah, but what you're saying is a Solami. Yeah, wait. There's a distinction between the two Grahams you just said? Well, yeah. G-R-A-H-A-M has got
Starting point is 01:09:14 two syllables. It's Graham. Graham. Graham. Graham. If you go to the UK or Australia, they say Graham. They go Graham. Like when I introduced myself, like Will Anderson has come on my podcast. He's an Australian comic
Starting point is 01:09:28 and has made fun of me because Graham is G-R-A-M, the metric unit. But in America, everybody just goes Graham. They don't go Graham because they're not a bunch of fucking, hey, do you know where?
Starting point is 01:09:37 It feels like you're still, it feels like you're still stalling and you're not in the game anymore. I'm fine with it because I thought I'd like 12 more. But don't be too hard on yourself, Graham, and don't be too hard on the beaver. Oh, Christ, really? He was in a movie called The Be that's right didn't he direct that too
Starting point is 01:10:06 no jody foster is the only friend in show business and the only reason they're still together is she doesn't have sugar tits she's got regular ones when he got pulled over in mal youu, you know when that happened? He goes, I own Malibu sugar tits on the PCH driving north
Starting point is 01:10:28 right when that happened where it says welcome to Malibu. Somebody put an E and it said Malibu. Fucking gorgeous. That's my movie, Malibu.
Starting point is 01:10:38 Graham just plugged graffiti. Folks, having a big graffiti contest coming up Dates to be released soon Edge of Darkness Oh, you said it angrily No, I just wanted to get it out Yeah, Edge of Darkness, I like it
Starting point is 01:11:01 Chicken Run Yeah Wow Wow Graham I like it. Chicken Run. Yeah. Wow. Grilled. Grilled. Chicken.
Starting point is 01:11:11 Grilled. Chicken Run. Well done. I'll go with The Year of Living Dangerously. Oh. Some lady in the back just went, oh. I loved Cambodian genocide.
Starting point is 01:11:32 Tequila sunrise. Oh, yes. God damn it. Kurt Russell. There's going to be a lot that you've heard of. He used to be famous. I think chicken run was the bottom of the barrel for me.
Starting point is 01:11:48 Well, you can go to your lifeline. You might not be much help because it's getting tough at this point, but it's worth a shot. It might be the first words he's ever spoken.
Starting point is 01:11:56 Yeah. We still don't know his name. He's just the owner of Hobbs. Hobbs owner. Expendables 3. Expendables 3, dude. Do you want to do it? Expendables 3. Expendables 3, dude. Do you want to do it?
Starting point is 01:12:07 Expendables 3. Nice. Thank you. Well done. Nice work, Hobbs the cat. The full title is Expendables 3, the most expendable of them all. The Expendables 3, we're sorry.
Starting point is 01:12:25 We got Harrison Ford and Mel Gibson, but no script. We're very sorry. We wanted them for two. When you spilled, when you had that sticky stuff on your fingers, I wanted to, you know, get something to wipe it off, you know, but I won't accept any, just any kind of paper towel. It has to be the bounty. That was a convoluted, twisting story.
Starting point is 01:12:55 I thought he was out and was stalling. That's what I thought. I was like, this is some paper towel bullshit. Yeah, you walked out there, you were way out there on your own like a bird on a wire. Oh! Jeff Tate!
Starting point is 01:13:11 Jeff Tate! Jeff Tate! Doug, I know this is unorthodox, but I would like to... What's happening? You gonna do another one? No, I would like to offer Ryder my lifeline.
Starting point is 01:13:23 What? Yeah, I think it'd be fun to keep this guy in the game and it would piss off Graham a little bit. It's like a twofer for me, a win-win. I'm just happy we're all on stage having fun, Jeffrey. All right, well, you know, you might be offering him nothing because it's going to be tough for the person you're playing for to come up with something, maybe.
Starting point is 01:13:43 But do you want to do it, Ryan? Yeah, because I got nothing, so I'm out otherwise. Thank you, Jeff. He wants to stay in the game. He wants to stay alive. Who's your thing? Lifeline? Pocahontas.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Pocahontas. Pocahontas. Oh! Yes! Lifeline. I'm staying alive. What's your name, young lady? Hitomi.
Starting point is 01:14:07 Pardon? Hitomi. Hitomi. Hitomi alone. Jesus, her and Genoa, the fucking weird name sisters. Is it, how do you, say Genoa again. Genoa. Genoa.
Starting point is 01:14:17 Genoa. Stop saying Genoa. Genoa. Genoa is a fucking salami. Say it the way she wants it said. Genoa. Oh, Graham. Oh, those golden Grahams.
Starting point is 01:14:34 Pocahontas 2, of course, is called Smells of the Wind. Pocahontas. Smells of the Wind. all right so i don't know how to work it into a sentence so i'll just is it my turn yep yeah okay uh i don't know how to work in a sense so i'll just say gallipoli oh that's an excellent movie well remember when uh when uh we were in gallipoli and we were soldiers? Nice. We were soldiers.
Starting point is 01:15:10 Nice. Well, I got nothing. No, I'm not going to take another one. You're just going to keep me in this game? Yeah, it pisses Graham off like crazy. Wait, you can afford to just give him another one? I know. How many Mel Gibson movies do you have in your back pocket? I've got some more Mel Gibson movies
Starting point is 01:15:28 in my head. Jeez. Oh my god. Jeff. Do something besides Mel Gibson movies with your life. I'm usually celebrated for having this many answers, but Mel Gibson has apparently brought us all down with him. Listen, I was like only half on board,
Starting point is 01:15:48 but finally, when he finally started talking about how there wasn't a Holocaust, I was like, this is a guy I can get behind. I'm tired of Denzel and Harrison Ford talking about how there was a Holocaust. It is a drag, dudes. Let it go!
Starting point is 01:16:04 I like Mel Gibson's sunnier view of the world. No Holocaust. All right, you can give one to Ryder. He gave me The River. The River. Wow. I don't remember that movie at all. It came out at the time.
Starting point is 01:16:20 There was like three farm movies all at the same time. There was Places in the Heart with Sally Field. Oh, right. River Runs Through It? Is that awesome? there was like three farm movies all at the same time there was places in the heart with sally field and uh river runs through it is that no the third one was sissy spacek and it was called rivertown being on a farm sucks my dick i remember that that was good that was the ending of the whole movie being on on a farm sucks my dick. The end. Yeah, I was going to use that for the final line from a movie, but I thought Skyfall would be trickier. Dick, Em.
Starting point is 01:16:54 Skyfall. Oh, man. Oh, man. What a shitty Skyfall. That'd be a cool last line for that movie. Oh, man. They fucked up my Skyfall. I don't even know what a Skyfall was.
Starting point is 01:17:06 Or what if somebody just walks out onto a veranda and takes a deep breath and goes, Sky Fall. Like it's the time of, okay. So that means, okay, I gotta come up with another one. I gotta go so deep that it might be his first
Starting point is 01:17:24 feature length motion picture pre the first mad max in which he played a either emotionally or mentally stunted young man and it was called tim oh yeah i've heard of that yeah i had to do it jeff hey you know what he sounds like he sounds like this i Tim. I'm just an idiot. Yeah, it's interesting because he doesn't even have an Australian accent. That's how mentally disabled he was that he didn't even sound Australian. That'd be weird, right?
Starting point is 01:17:58 Get the gringo. Whoa. I don't even know. I got nothing, so. For the third round in a row. Give him another one. Do you want to give him another one, Jeff? Give him another one.
Starting point is 01:18:13 I think I only have one left. Oh. Well, guess what, Jeff? What's that? I'm gonna try to say the one that you've got left. Okay. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:18:23 All right. Machete kills. Okay. Here we go. All right. Machete kills. Nope. We might have a tie then because you got one more. Yeah. What is it? It's called
Starting point is 01:18:37 Father's Day. He plays a, he does a cameo in Father's Day. He's a tattoo artist. cameo In Father's Day He's a tattoo artist With Billy Crystal And Robin Williams Yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:18:48 He's like a tattoo artist He's got piercings and stuff He was gonna be In the hangover you know Yeah yeah But they decided They decided to get Somebody more wholesome
Starting point is 01:18:55 Like Mike Tyson Yeah yeah We prefer someone Who's been convicted No it's a different It was a different part actually But Anyway
Starting point is 01:19:03 Okay So What did you say? convicted. No, it was a different part actually. But anyway, okay, so what did you say? I forget. Father's Day. Wow, that's impressive. Is there any more? I've just been sitting here. I'm sure there is. There always is.
Starting point is 01:19:21 There's always more. But you think you're done Jeff? Let me try to come up with one Let me see if I can come up with one Let me see if I can come up with one Let me see if I can come up with one Graham do that thing That takes up six minutes
Starting point is 01:19:35 Oh no No No sit No, no, no. No, sit. That was nothing, Ryder. I held back because we have low ceilings. What's happening? Why are you talking? He's just suddenly chatting away over there. You had it right earlier. He's giving me a clue or something, but I don't want it.
Starting point is 01:20:06 I'm not going to take it. But I'm satisfied with the tie on this one with Jeff. But I just want to throw one more out there. Just make everybody go, damn. But I don't think it's going to happen. I'm going to feel terribly sad when I hear the ones you guys have to say. Anything more, Jeff? No.
Starting point is 01:20:30 Any ideas? Like, I wish he had a cameo in a Muppet film. I would not be surprised at all if he was in National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1. I would be. It's a spoof of that movie. I'd be very surprised. All right, so we'll call Jeff our winner and we'll call it a tie between me and Jeff.
Starting point is 01:20:52 Hit us with the bad news. What did we miss? Air America! The Patriots! The Patriots! Forever Young! Signs! Signs! Signs Signs Oh my god
Starting point is 01:21:08 We were horrible Fucking Signs man That one the listeners went apeshit Until they finally heard it To miss Signs The greatest movie about How you got a Special message to swing away, which is advice
Starting point is 01:21:26 that's pretty logical when you're holding a bat and an alien is in front of you. Should I just stand here with it or should I swing away? But Doug... I didn't get that vision earlier. Doug, when the top half of your wife gives you advice,
Starting point is 01:21:41 you follow it, even if it's dumb. Any other ones? We still did pretty good, but Signs was embarrassing. Signs is embarrassing. Hamlet. Hamlet.
Starting point is 01:21:58 That had everybody in it. He was in The Passion. The Passion? Of the Christ? I said it. Yeah, he said it. I said it because he directed it. Was Mel Gibson ever a bad guy? Like guy like i mean except in real life yeah machete kills he's the he's the villain i just did that was a joke yeah okay thanks
Starting point is 01:22:18 because he was a bad guy in expandables 3 too i just remembered okay um anyway just like we thought we named every single one of them the audience did not have any we did not name oh you're suggesting i cut the part out where they said all those yep and or let's just use us saying them yeah i'll dub. Let's keep going. The Patriot. Signs. Air America. It's a memory game. That's what we should do on these shows. We all look at a list of movies by a certain actor or actress, and then we put it away, and then we start. Who can remember the most that you just looked at?
Starting point is 01:23:01 If you do edit that out, the listeners, going to, their reaction is going to be like, I think that went in the wrong order right at the end. Signs is like if we were naming states and didn't say Texas. That's just a ridiculous one. All right. Because it seems cool,
Starting point is 01:23:16 but it's actually dumb? Really? Is it Texas because it seems cool, but it was actually kind of dumb? No, because Texas is an obvious one when you're naming states. It's really big. You know me. I'm Jeff.
Starting point is 01:23:32 I'm an idiot. Get southern on that one. I'm an idiot. A little more Hartman in it. I wanted to twang it up so Texas knows I'm an idiot. What's the name of the person you were playing for, Jeff? Hitomi. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 01:23:48 Come on up and get all your prizes. I apologize that they don't all fit in the bag. Don't take Jeff's bag. There you go. But then there's also the album and the book I couldn't fit in there. The bag's going to be really heavy, so be careful. You might need to use one of Meltdown's bag valets. Oh, yeah, the poster.
Starting point is 01:24:10 Put your thing back. That's awesome. Here you go, the poster. Oh, is that a didgeridoo? No, no. No, Graham. Didgeridoo, Graham. Did you read Don't, Graham? Did you hear the ocean?
Starting point is 01:24:28 Did you redo? Jeff. Why are you still here, Graham? You did your plugs already. Yeah, dude. Jeff, what do you got to plug? Justanotherclown.com is my website Speakersilence.org is the organization I like to support
Starting point is 01:24:50 It's a non-profit that provides pro bono Counseling to the adult survivors of child sex abuse So if you need pro bono Counseling or you just want to give money to someone good Speakersilence.org I'm gonna be In Ann Arbor Michigan I forgot Gainesville Florida I forgot my fucking dates speakersislands.org. I'm going to be in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Starting point is 01:25:07 I forgot, Gainesville, Florida. I forgot my fucking dates. They're on the website. But I want to tell you guys right now, this is the first time, but I'm very close to securing a place to do stand-up and bring Emma to LA. We're going to do stand-up in LA somewhere in April. Cool.
Starting point is 01:25:23 Yeah. Finally. All that hard time you're giving graham for not giving up the information and no i don't actually you got a mystery date as well i don't know the date yet well maybe he doesn't know the date yet no he said he knows the date he just isn't going to tell these people i'm not not releasing the date I'm just telling you I'm coming back to LA and me and Em are gonna do stand up I don't remember the podfest date so how about I just stall
Starting point is 01:25:50 Brooklyn June 16th check out the website JeffTate96 on Twitter have a good day have a good day these plugs are the most pleasant. And Too Late, starring Ryder Strong, a very cool movie.
Starting point is 01:26:13 You can see it starting on March 18th here in Los Angeles. There's a special CineFamily showing of it coming up on March 5th. But yeah, if you go to toolatemovie.com, you can find out when it's rolling out at a city near you. Robert Forster's great in it.
Starting point is 01:26:30 Robert Forster's in it? You're going to love this movie. Robert Forster and John Hawks? Dude, and strippers. It takes place in... Don't tell me too much. It's really good. What do I have to plug?
Starting point is 01:26:46 Graham, could you pass down Genoa's name tag? She's got a good shit head on the back, I bet. Oh, it's on a post-it that's upside, or not upside down, but post-it on there. Look at that. Whoa. Okay. I like yours. My plug is this.
Starting point is 01:27:07 I am doing a lot of stuff at South by Southwest. Can't give you the details yet. But yeah, it's going to be stuff where you have to have a South by Southwest badge or stand in a weird line that's unlikely to get in. So if you're going to South by, look for my stuff. Look for me doing stuff there. I always love going back to Austin when South by isn't happening because then people that live there can get into my shows and stuff.
Starting point is 01:27:37 I love it there. One more round of applause for all of my guests, Graham Elwood, Ryder strong and jeff tate and as always willem defoe is a And UTIs are a shithead. Thanks again to CISO for sponsoring today's show. Only CISO lets comedy aficionados stream hand-picked, ad-free, on-demand comedy from the comfort of their favorite device and location. CISO's got all of NBC's late night shows, The Next Day, fresh new stand-up every day
Starting point is 01:28:30 of the year, original series from the funniest people on earth like Wyatt Senak, The Upright Citizens Brigade, and coming soon, Dan Harmon's Harmon Quest. That's going to be awesome. All for just $3.99 a month. All the best comedy in one place. Don't believe it? See so for yourself now for free. No credit card needed to try it.
Starting point is 01:28:53 Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies.

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