Doug Loves Movies - Rob Cantrell, Trey Galyon and Brandon Leavitt guest
Episode Date: April 23, 2018Live from the Punch Line in Sacramento, Doug welcomes Rob Cantrell, Trey Galyon and Brandon Leavitt to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice a...t https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies I have to tech my own shows
at the top of the show
because I'm not going to get here
before the doors open
to take care of that.
I'm going to show up, you know,
in time for a little session
outside. I don't know
where you guys were at 420.
Oh, I know. Sitting
here waiting for the 420 show to
start.
Next time, keep in mind there's a 10 minute
window where you can meet me outside.
Cash me outside.
Hey, hey,
hey everybody. My name is Doug
and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once
again from the
good old sack punch.
The Punchline
Comedy Club in Sacramento,
California. comedy club in Sacramento, California!
Here's another adjustment I have to make, because we all
have to scoot back against the wall,
because the people with the seats on
the sides there, it's
still going to suck, but it'll be a little better
than just staring at
our backs.
You'll be able to see at least the side of one or two of us.
There, that's better.
Right?
Yeah.
That's for you.
Oh, thank you so much.
My Tito's and soda just arrived, everybody.
Oh, this is kind of fun.
I've never really gone over this with everybody,
but this is the Doug Loves Movies live podcast taping rider.
So this is what the club gets
describing what I need for my show.
On stage, four wired microphones.
I don't like the wireless ones.
Four stools, preferably with backs,
in a line across the stage facing the audience.
One mic stand next to Doug's stool at the end.
Just in the middle, that's cool.
One small table next to Doug's stool at the end.
Bam!
The remaining three mics can be set on the guest's stools.
Yeah, not on my stool, but on the guest's stools.
Call time. Doug and his guests will stool, but on the guest stools. Call time.
Doug and his guests
will arrive 15 to 30 minutes
before show time.
Okay, sure, yeah.
Sound check.
Doug will not be present
for a sound check.
So late, 90 minutes.
I always nail that
photo posse
no photographs
although people
people sneak them
and then I repost them
which encourages people
to sneak them
hospitality
vodka
kettle one
or Tito's
who dare
kettle one
or
heads are gonna roll
I've never seen this document.
And soda water.
You'd be surprised how many times
they just have a bottle of Tito's
and there's no soda water.
And I'm just like,
all right, glug, glug, glug.
Merch.
Doug will not bring merch.
Audience notes.
Oh, this is great.
I mean, additional notes.
Audience members
will bring elaborate name tags
for the game playing
during the show.
Some of these name tags
might include food.
Because so many clubs,
we've had so many problems
with donuts being confiscated at the door.
And then there's names and numbers of my producers
and my publicity person.
So all of that is going to be in the prize bag.
How are you guys doing the day after 420?
Is everybody...
Oh, my God.
I'm like...
That's the great thing about 420
is you wake up the next day and you're like,
all right, let's get high.
You don't wake up like,
oh, so much marijuana.
Oh, I was so happy.
Damn it.
But my problem is I always mix in the alcohol,
so that could lead to trouble, but I'm very excited.
This is a rare 421 where I do not feel hungover,
probably because I just had three drinks.
Things are good.
It's Saturday, April 21st, 2018.
I would like to see some name tags if it's not too much bother.
There's Melissa's Pizza
right up front.
You found somebody for your other ticket or whatever happened?
But she came alone too, so.
Oh, you found another person that came
alone and now you're here together.
See, that's, people say to me all the time,
I don't want to go to Douglas movies because I can't get
someone to go with me.
And I'm like, believe me, you will meet
people
if you come together. You all have one thing
in common. You all know a lot about
a show where the guests
know less than you do.
Unless it's Jeff Tate.
Carindipity? I love it.
Ant what?
Anthony Man.
Okay. I don't love it, but
you know.
They can't all be Karen Dippity
Katie and the Tramp
that's great
and we're like sharing a joint
instead of spaghetti
lots of good ones
oh there's a big one
Chris what?
Chris Tucker is your name?
and then what's the collage
a bunch of other Chris Tucker is your name? And then what's the collage? A bunch of other Chris Tucker pictures?
Wow.
I also like this E.T. has changed to C.J.
Yeah, I like the way you've lit it up over there.
It looks really cinematic.
All right, you can put them down, rest your arms.
I know you worked hard on your name tags,
so your arms are probably tired.
And thank you to everybody for bringing those,
and good luck.
Like I always say,
it's up to my guests to decide who gets chosen.
I would pick the best ones if it were me.
Doug plugs.
Tuesday, Doug Loves Movies is back
at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
in Los Angeles, Franklin Avenue location.
Next Saturday, Doug Loves Movies is at the Anthenium.
That sounds like a sequel to Prometheus.
In Indianapolis at 4.20.
That's next Saturday.
And all of my dates and deets are available at Douglovesmovies.com.
That's Douglovesmovies.com.
Yeah!
Pretty good.
That was pretty good.
You guys want to know what's in the prize bag that I've been holding awkwardly ever since I came up on stage?
Oh, there's some good stuff in here.
That's why I could not set it down.
We got some bombas.
Yeah, those are a fancy new sock.
We got a koozie that says Twix on it.
Don't get me started about which factory I prefer.
Between the two twigs.
One of my CDs,
Smug Life.
A poster for something.
Like, that's how confident I am
you're going to love this poster.
Is that I'm not gonna roll the
rubber band off and unroll it and show it to you and i think the winner it's this is just between
me and the winner what's on that poster but i think it's pretty good and then uh uh i got these
i swiped these off of what steve Lemme wanted to put in the prize bag
at the Super Troopers Douglas movies episode.
It's Super Troopers sunglasses.
Have you guys seen it yet, Super Troopers 2?
Oh shit, it's funny.
It was a good time.
420 weekend is not done yet so you can still
check it out. And then of course
at every show
this year
the beautiful
peace
peacemaker
Christmas
bong.
Just in time for Christmas.
Somebody's going to win all that, plus the stuff brought by my guests.
Let's get them out here.
I've been having a fantastic time.
I've seen all three of these gentlemen over the last couple of nights,
and we've had a great time every night.
Please give it up for Rob Cantrell, Brandon Levitt, and Trey Galliard.
Thank you.
All right.
All right.
First of all, pass that down to Brandon,
and let's say hello to everybody individually,
starting with our first-time guest,
first time on the show,
but people who listen to the show may know of him,
or if you listen to Doug Lo's minis.
It's Brandon Leavitt, everybody! Hey's brandon levitt everybody hey everybody oh yeah
how's it going dude it's going great man it's been awesome so uh two nights ago during the
countdown to 420 show here at the sack punch and how about arden mall hashtag hba uh we uh Sack Punch in How About Arden Mall? Hashtag HBA.
We played Last Man Stanton,
and Brandon came in second place,
and the winner, Mason,
has had something else to do today.
It's a brother's wedding.
Wedding.
Fucking wedding. Yeah, I'd rather be here. It's not. Wedding. Fucking wedding.
Yeah.
I'd rather be here.
It's not going to last.
This podcast is forever.
So anyway, there was only three competitors,
and one of them could not name one movie
that Amy Adams is in.
Yeah, he wasn't good.
But congratulations on getting up here, Brandon.
Thanks for having me, Doug.
And tell us, what do you want the listeners to know about you
as a listener to the show, a fan of the show,
but what are you into or what do you do for a living?
I work in IT.
I do desktop support for an electronics
manufacturer. Okay.
We'd never talked about that before
and it's obvious why.
It's really boring.
Fucking yawn.
Now we go straight to movie
trivia. How do you think you're going to do today against
these two guys?
I'm pretty confident.
I am too.
I'm very confident in you.
If anybody out there is placing bets, Brandon is my choice.
All right, in on a technicality.
Yeah.
Well, Trey and Rob are friends of mine,
and we have a lot of fun talking about movies and stuff,
but I just tell them the things they don't remember
the names of. It's not a contest.
Right?
That's not what you guys are about.
Name retention is not strong.
Yeah. Well, let's say hi
to them individually, starting with Rob
Cantrell, everybody.
Hi,
Sacramento.
Check. His album, his record recording,
Pure Uncut Joy,
is available now.
I love that.
Right?
Yeah, it is.
I love the way you say Pure Uncut Joy.
I tried to do an impression of it.
Yeah, that was a good one.
Now you say it so everybody knows how accurate it was.
Pure Uncut Joy. Now you say it so everybody knows how accurate it was. Pure, uncut joy.
Which I am right now.
In Sacramento.
Oh, are you kidding me?
At a 420 show.
You know, Sacramento really powered us through 420 this year
because we were here on 419 and gathered up goods for 420
thanks to all the generous people that came to the show the other night.
So let's say hello to the third and final guest.
Yeah, final guest.
When is there going to be any more?
You see more chairs up here?
No.
Nope.
We're not even saving one for Elijah.
No, we already got one too many up here already.
Wait, what?
He's talking about me, Doug.
Are you going after Brandon already?
Yeah, man.
He started last night.
Early and often.
It's Trey Galliol!
Trey Galliol Trey Gallion!
Thanks, Sacramento.
Trey Gallion just sounds like a bad guy
in Beauty and the Beast 2.
If I get to voice it right on.
Oh, yeah, you'd be great.
Yeah, I do like how you say my last name.
You fancy it up.
Yeah, it's just Gallion.
Gallion. I know, but it just doesn't... What? I do like how you say my last name. You fancy it up. Yeah. It's just Galleon.
Galleon.
I know, but it just doesn't... What?
What just happened?
I think you just found an entree.
Oh, in Galleon, Ohio?
How is it spelled?
Oh, yeah.
A little different.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you guys want to get a spelling bee?
Yeah Do you guys want to get a spelling bee?
Use Galleon in a sentence
She grew up in Galleon, Ohio
I love this car
But how many miles to the Galleon?
Shout out to the nice couple that gave us dabs before the show.
Word.
For real.
You guys are awesome.
Good job.
Yeah.
Let's see what you gents brought for the old prize bag,
starting with Brandon down there.
What did you bring, buddy? All right. So I didn't plan for this ahead of time, starting with Brandon down there. What'd you bring, buddy?
All right, so I didn't plan for this ahead of time, obviously.
Loser.
So I dug through my car,
and I found this program
from the 17th Annual SF Sketch Fest.
And a nice crisp $2 bill.
Somebody's been to the strip club.
And I hit up the bargain bin at Best Buy earlier
and got Anchorman,
The Legend of Ron Burgundy,
the rich mahogany edition,
unrated on Blu-ray.
And a bag to put it all in.
That's it?
That's it.
That's a lot.
You said don't go crazy.
Yeah, you were like,
I didn't bring much.
I got this and this and this.
But great job.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Love it.
And I love the bag that you brought it in.
Because my bag is not cutting it.
I'm just going to dump my bag in your bag.
Figured it'd be useful.
Yeah.
You can use it for groceries later.
Rob, what do you brought for us?
Doug, I brought, this is only, there was only 50
of these made. There's like 17 left.
But it's a...
Thanks for the update.
You know, I want you to really know what this is all about.
Yeah, you should get the
winner's email and let
them know.
The countdown has begun. We got an app that goes right to your phone. winner's email and let them know when they're all out there.
We got an app that goes right to your phone.
But yeah,
it's a seven-inch vinyl
from a track
from my album that I tell
a story about my first concert.
And it's a clear vinyl,
and it's for you.
And that's what I got you.
Thank you. Number 17 in the bag.
Trey, what do you got?
All right.
I got a safety card from the JetBlue A321,
which I didn't even fly out here on JetBlue.
So that's an oldie.
How did that?
How did you?
And it doesn't have the baby getting wedgied by the safety thing that's united
united bar that's a united barf bag though good you gotta keep it united you gotta stay on brand
a copy of my album uh the moronic and then um a t-shirt from Creep Records slash head shop in Philadelphia.
And it's the eagle with the Liberty Bell logo.
And it says Creep Records, Phila on the back.
Home of the world champion eagles.
I love it.
Yep.
You can put it in there, Derek.
You don't have to put it in that plastic.
It's there now.
No, it's all good.
It all fits.
This is exciting.
A lot of times,
it's more than one bag.
You guys are lucky tonight.
Someone's going to just have to
walk around with one bag
for the rest of
whatever it is
you're going to do this evening.
There's so much
to do in the area.
You could go to the container store.
do in the area. You could go to the container store.
You could really strip
all it up around here, man.
Oh, you can go to the mattress store right
after that. Yeah.
Pick up a box spring.
Cheesecake factory.
Swing by the Walgreens.
Get some Visine.
I got these glasses from Walgreens get some Visine I got these glasses
from Walgreens
word
these flip shades
for $9.98
he really did
I got these glasses
from when I was
getting on to
Pirates of the Caribbean
at Disneyland
somebody
they fell off of somebody
could be dead I just instinctively I just picked them up Disneyland, they fell off of somebody.
Could be dead.
I just instinctively, I just picked them up.
Like, you know what? I lose sunglasses all the time, so.
And I just threw the ones I had down
on the ground.
Fair trade.
Pay it forward?
Is that an expression
to quote a movie? Pay it forward? Alright that the expression to quote a movie?
Pay it forward?
All right.
So I have one question that I ask at this point in the show
of all of my guests,
and I'm sure Brandon is extra ready to answer it,
and that is, do you know what the question is, Brandon?
What's the last movie I saw?
Exactly.
That's Isle of Dogs I saw earlier today.
Now, you were telling us, was it private information what you told us about your experience?
No, that's...
He says he fell asleep a lot.
That's only because I got about two hours of sleep, not because the movie was boring.
Exactly, that's what happens.
Sometimes I really will be like, I'm enjoying this movie, but I'm also tired as fuck.
And the chairs are getting more and more comfortable.
I mean, sometimes you can just lay like flat out.
Yeah.
It's crazy how comfortable it is.
But also how, oh my God, what was I watching the other day?
I was watching the most serious movie and people kept adjusting their chairs.
It was one of those ones where you have a button
that makes your seat go up and down,
and when the seats are coming up, they go...
Was it a quiet place?
No, it was...
God damn it, what was it?
Whatever I saw recently.
Great answer.
It was...
I Feel Pretty.
It was I Feel Pretty.
Yeah, yeah, Amy would be jumping around.
Somebody would see it and be going...
Just like, okay, come on.
Anything else to say about Isle of Dogs?
It was really good.
It's gorgeous.
Really beautifully made.
For what you saw.
I loved it.
I loved it.
On a scale of one to four, I give it three naps.
Yeah.
He's like, I fell asleep three times.
I thought it was gorgeous.
It was awesome.
It was gorgeous.
It had great hair.
Oh, my God.
The hair is so cool because it bristles.
The dog hair bristles.
It's like it's constantly windy in Japan.
But yeah, I liked it a lot.
But what I kind of liked about it was thinking about getting to look at it in the future on my television.
In the movie theater, I didn't
think the story was that compelling,
but I liked how it all looked and the
attitude behind it. And the
voices, you know, like they have some of the
greatest character actors ever
doing the voices. So yeah.
Good job.
Thanks. Hey, Rob, have you shown
everybody how those flip up in the front?
Oh yeah, you want to see it? Yeah, you didn't just get regular sunglasses at the fucking CVS. Well, Rob, have you shown everybody how those flip up in the front? Oh, yeah. You want to see it? Yeah, yeah. You didn't just get regular sunglasses at the fucking CVS.
Well, you know, no.
I got flip shades that go right on top of your prescription.
Yeah.
So ask me a question, and I'll do something.
What was the last movie you saw?
Oh.
Oh.
Star Wars, The Last Jedi.
Number eight.
How'd you see that?
What format?
I saw it on the airplane out here.
Okay.
Yeah, it was amazing.
You watched it in its entirety?
In its entirety.
You got a meal during it?
Oh, I got the best meal during it.
You got a hot towel during it?
Oh, God, I wiped my face. Did you get warm peanuts during it? Oh, I got the best meal during it. You got a hot towel during it? Oh, God, I wiped my face.
Did you get warm, warm
peanuts during it? No peanuts.
What? But they had these crazy
cheese nachos.
What? And then
they had some crazy, like, chocolate
berries from exotic places
I didn't even know about.
And, uh, so that was a good combo.
Stop lying, man.
No, I got first class on my way out here.
I got bumped up to first class.
Well, I was asking you the questions
knowing that you were in first class.
I wouldn't say if you ask you if you got a hot towel
if you were stuck in coach.
That's true.
That would just be rude.
Just be like rubbing it in.
I stole the blanket.
You kept it, really? Yeah, it says Saks Fifth Avenue on it. It's got a little, it's true. That would just be rude to just be rubbing it in. I stole the blanket. You kept it, really?
Yeah, it says Saks Fifth Avenue on it.
It's got a little, it's fancy.
I took it.
It's mine now.
You shouldn't admit that on a podcast.
No, but first class is a great place to just get stuff for the prize bag.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I do it all the time.
Yeah.
The pillows look good.
So did you say you liked the movie? I loved it. Okay, cool. I thought it all the time. The pillows look good. So did you say you liked the movie?
I loved it.
Okay, cool.
I thought it was great.
It was fun.
Benicio Del Toro?
Right.
How good was that?
I thought he did great in that.
I love that dude.
So it's good to see him.
Always good.
I don't know that many actors by name,
but I know that dude.
I don't know how I feel about him being a player in both Marvel and Star Wars universes. I don't know how I feel about him being a player in both Marvel
and Star Wars universes. I don't know how I
feel about that, but I
may grow to get used to it. Yeah.
He's great. I'm not gay, but
like, if
he really needed a hug,
I'd give him just the warmest
hug, you know? You'd touch
his butt. No, I wouldn't do that.
Yeah, you would. You know, sometimes
people just need a hug.
You'd be like,
bring it in, BD.
Yeah, bring it in, BD.
Just hold him.
It's going to be all right.
No, I loved it.
I loved it.
I thought it was fun.
All right.
You're not under oath.
There you go.
Put the glasses down
after the answer.
Way more believable.
He's done.
All right, let's get to Trey here
and ask him this important question
about the last movie you saw.
You slept during the flight here, right?
Yes, yeah.
But before I left,
I saw one of the best good, bad movies
that I've seen in a while.
Oh.
Yeah.
It was 1988's The Rescue.
What?
Yeah, starring Kevin Dillon.
That red-headed guy, Ned Vaughn?
Yeah, yeah, Skippy.
Mark Price?
Yeah, and then the girl from Dazed and Confused
that hardly says anything the whole movie,
the brunette chick.
Milla Jovovich?
No, no, the other one.
Yeah, I don't know her.
But so they're the kids of the SEAL Team 6 guys.
And the SEAL Team guys go on a mission by North Korea.
And they get captured.
And the government's like, too risky to go get them.
And so the kids are like, bullshit. We're going to go get them, and so the kids are like,
bullshit.
We're going to go get them.
Yeah.
And so then they go,
and I don't...
That's how most...
No spoilers.
But Skippy ends up in drag at one point.
Oh, Skippy.
It's fun, though.
You should watch it.
Oh, it's on HBO Go right now.
You can totally watch it.
Hashtag not an ad.
Oh, yeah, no, they're not paying me anything.
I'd tell you about the last movie I saw,
but I honestly can't think of what it might have been.
You went the other day.
Beirut.
Oh, no, no, you're right.
I feel pretty.
I feel pretty.
And Amy Schumer, Rory Scoville, and Nikki Glaser
are all former Douglas Movies guests,
possibly never again.
Now that they're in a big movie.
And Super Troopers 2, I gotta say,
I've been beating the drum for it,
but I think people just are very excited
about its existence in general.
Number one at the
box office last night in
North America.
Yeah. That's great.
Yeah, on top of A Quiet Place and
I Feel Pretty and lots of
other competition. So good for them.
Hopefully they'll remain strong throughout
the weekend. Might have been a 420 thing,
you know, because that's kind of a perfect movie to see on April 20th.
I'm going to go see it Monday as soon as I get home.
I love it.
Word.
Yeah.
Saw it yesterday.
Yeah, it's really fun and funny, and those guys are cool,
and somebody's going to win their sunglasses.
Sunglasses touched by Steve Lemme are going to be won by somebody
tonight
Bert
turn it off
let the games begin
hot damn
he's already up
he's already up and picking
well Brandon is off and running
while the two veterans on the show
are sitting here like they don't know what's going on.
Hey, Kelly, can
I get another Tito's? Thank
you. Gentlemen, pick your name tags
and while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back.
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Alright,
we're back.
Fantastic job, everybody.
Sorry, I gave everybody
butt. Oh my goodness.
Nobody's ever said that to
me.
Ever. Alright, this is
really interesting because
Brandon,
I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just gonna
tell you that the
gentleman who made that name tag that you're
holding tweeted
at me today on
Twitter.
Oh, sorry.
That lady.
I mean, it's a picture of me and Jeff Tate.
So that lady, what's your name?
Jamie.
Jamie.
Jamie tweeted.
I hope this name tag doesn't get chosen because I'm real dead weight when it comes to being a lifeline.
And I showed it to Trey and I was like,
somebody's going to pick that fucking name tag.
Yup.
It was the first Star Wars one I saw
and I'm wearing my Star Wars vest.
Yeah.
Way to go, Dorkatron.
Yeah.
It was a Christmas present.
My mom made. And his fucking Star Wars tie too. Oh, your mom made thatron. Yeah. It was a Christmas present. My mom made.
And his fucking Star Wars tie, too.
Oh, your mom made that?
Big surprise.
That's a huge surprise.
I like this, though, because I think it's good for him to have a little bit of a handicap.
Yeah, for real.
All right.
So tell us more about your name tag, Brandon.
It says Star Wars what?
The Last Jamie.
The Last Jamie.
Okay. Well, great job, Jamie. Star Wars what? The Last Jamie. The Last Jamie. Okay.
Well, great job, Jamie. Star Wars got you up here.
yeah, I think Brandon's...
Wow. I still have faith in Brandon,
but you never know. Rob,
who are you playing for?
Now, I know you're a fan of Disney, Doug.
I do love Disney. So I got you a classic
called Katie and the Tramp.
Okay.
So it's you
and a pretty lady here
in the classic
Lady and the Tramp
dog scene.
You guys all know that?
That's right.
Where they have the spaghetti
but instead of spaghetti
Right.
It's a blunt.
Yeah.
So you guys are just
Totally described
all of it earlier
in the show.
Oh, sorry about that.
Oh, yeah, read the tagline, though.
That's good.
One of the highest love stories ever told.
It describes it well.
What did it used to say?
It said the highest.
One of the most dog-like.
One of the nastiest.
One of the most doggy-styled.
These two bitches got it on.
Bitches love getty yeah
okay i've gone too far it's a good thing i'm not famous
trey i picked tammy boy because it's got candy and weed all over it yeah mainly
well it's weed in a ziploc bag not in a dispensary thing so i'm assuming you either
grew it or know who grew it yeah you don't gotta out nobody but that's always the best weed so um
i grab plus tammy boy come on tommy boy's great and is that you as david spade that's
fucking creepy as shit it's not a very good likeness.
You're way more cuter in real life.
No, but yeah,
maybe it's the hair on Spade or whatever.
Yeah, don't ever get that haircut.
She does not look good on you at all.
Don't get the David Spade cut.
But pick up a Kate Spade bag if you can.
They're fabulous.
Well made.
Yeah, all right.
You like Kit Kats?
Yeah, man, I'm a fan.
All right.
Yeah, throw some peanut butter on them.
Have you had a dark chocolate Kit Kat?
Yeah.
Garbage.
What?
Throw some peanut butter on it.
No, I said that on I said that on Twitter and
Kit Kat got back to me.
Did they send you a bunch of dark
chocolate? Yeah. No, they just wrote
back a tweet. Oh, what did it say?
Something like that I was racist
or something.
Damn. Yeah. Good thing
you aren't famous.
Oh, it's funny.
I got into a thing
with Twix recently.
What was another one
that I got into a thing with?
Like, there's a few
different products
that I've been, like,
kind of going back and forth with.
Going out there,
Kit Kat,
next is Mr. Goodbar.
It's such a weird world.
Well, at least
that's a real guy.
So, uh...
He's a real guy.
He's a good guy.
We're going to start with a game that a listener wrote to me on Twitter.
Hey, it's been too long since you've played this game.
And that's the sort of thing that gets me to decide to play a game.
Great.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think it's going to go well, but it's a game called Purple Rain Man.
Okay, so this is a movie mashup title.
All right.
So if you can figure out one half of it,
it might help you to figure out the other half
because it's two titles that mash up together.
I'll give you the third billed actors
in both of these movies
in the correct order of the title
and work our way up to number one.
And you can guess as often as you like.
Oh, all right.
Yeah.
And I don't imagine too many guesses, but we'll see.
So all of us can guess, right?
Yeah, as much as you want.
You've heard the show, right, Brandon?
Yeah.
Yeah, no shit.
A few times.
Every episode, Doug.
every episode, Doug.
Test me.
Throw out a number.
I'll tell you the guests. Don't do that.
What was your favorite episode, Brandon?
The first one I went to live.
I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking to fake Brandon.
Episode 423.
Greg Proops, Chris Evans, and Jeff Tate.
And Chris Evans won.
I don't think he's ever won.
Maybe he has.
Okay, so third billing in this movie mashup,
and it's just between the guys on stage.
No audience answers, please.
Benita Berry?
Yeah, Benita Berry.
You know Benita Berry.
No, not at all.
Benita Berry.
All right.
Benita Berry.
Zapporn.
And Christopher Plummer.
Those are the third build, people,
so we could just move on to the second build,
where things might get a little easier for someone in this room.
Not a lot of us.
I know it because I thought of it.
Cheater.
Second billing.
Tommy Chong and Max Von Seedow.
Seidu.
Seedoo.
Max Von Seedoo.
Right, right, right.
Formerly Max Von Jetski.
Nothing?
Nothing.
Okay.
Top Bill.
Shouldn't be a big surprise.
Cheech Mary.
Yeah, saw that coming.
And Dennis Quaid.
Nice vacation?
No.
Oh, man.
Nice
dreamscape? No, what's
the name of it? It's nice...
What's the name of it? It's nice. Oh, what's the matter?
What did you say?
Nice dreamscape.
That is correct.
Yeah.
Also would have accepted Cheech and Chong's nice dreamscape.
Oh, that.
Yeah, that would be fair.
I guess.
Yeah, yeah.
Thanks for letting that slide.
Had to do a little shout out to our friends Cheech and Chong because we just got through another 420.
Man, did we.
And I think it's because of them.
Yep.
Yeah.
I got the Nice Dreams part.
Yep.
Sure did.
Wasn't enough, though, was it?
No, no.
I'm just glad we both beat Dorkatron there.
Holding it down.
All right, let's go.
I don't think he's that.
I think he's kind of cool.
Yeah, you would.
I almost did the mashup.
Oh, you were trying to bully me?
No, man, I love you.
You know that. I almost did the mashup. Oh, you were trying to bully me? No, man. I love you. You know that.
I almost did the mashup up in Smoke Signals.
Yeah, but went the other way with it.
I wouldn't have got Smoke Signals.
I like nice dreamscape.
So congratulations to Trey for winning.
Might be the first game you've ever won.
No, no.
I've won a few. Okay.
And, alright.
Nah. I don't want to
gloat and bring up my past fucking
victories and shit. No, you've had some, you've had some
wins. Yeah, for sure.
Pulled them straight out of my ass, but they were wins.
Alright, well this one, you're gonna have to
go deep into your ass. No problem.
No problem.
Deeper than you've ever gone before.
Take off your rings
because it is time.
Hold my watch.
We're going to play
a brand new game.
I'm introducing
a brand new game.
What?
And yeah,
and I'm daring to do it
in the place
where someone once
yelled out an answer.
It's another game where if anyone does yell this out prematurely, it will ruin it.
Potentially.
It's called You're the Worst.
Named after the FXX show of the same name.
Returning for season five this fall.
That really read like an ad,
but I just wanted to give them a plug.
In this game, you're the worst.
I'm going to name a filmmaker.
We're going to start with Trey and then go to Rob and then to Brandon.
And you get to take turns guessing.
I would name a filmmaker,
sometimes an actor or an actress,
but in this case it's a filmmaker,
and then you're going to take turns
naming what you think
I think
is their worst movie.
Worst? Great, I love impossible games.
What do I think
is the worst? So I could surprise you with my answer,
but I still got to defend it at the end.
Yeah, right.
And in the end.
And I think people will agree with me.
The films of Steven Spielberg.
Ready Player One.
Spielberg.
Ready player one.
Fuck.
Maybe.
How much time do I get?
Okay. What do you think it is?
What do you think guys? And I'm a huge Spielberg fan. Right.
Not a lot of bad ones to choose from in my opinion
but there are some let's face it he's not perfect uh
ai what are you doing
i'm sorry it's trerey first Being all high and stuff
You get to guess next
Okay sorry about that
Yeah yeah yeah
I know there's some games
Where you can yell out
Whenever you want
This is the one
Where you wait your turn
Indiana Jones and the
Oh we talked about this
On the way
Indiana Jones and the
Fucking
We were doing Harrison Ford
And Last Man's Tantan
Valley of the Crystal Skull Valley of the Crystal Skull?
Valley of the Crystal Skull?
No. Bang.
Russ Myers, Valley of the Crystal Skull.
Oh, man.
Look at them
big skulls.
The kingdom of the crystal skull.
Something about the crystal skull
bullshit.
Sucky movie.
Is this one where I have to give you the...
I'd like you to say it correctly,
but since we all know what you're talking about,
the answer is no, that is not his worst movie.
In my opinion.
All right.
Rob, do you want to stick with that answer you said before?
Yes.
That is not his worst movie. I know some people do not like that movie but
it makes me sad if i need a good cry just pop in ai really i wish that i wish that quote was on the
i was gonna say on the box but what box
sometimes you just want to hug it's all just out there floating around.
Hug a cookie?
No, hug a computer.
Brandon, what do you think?
Oh, jeez.
Jurassic Park.
No.
Yeah, good guess.
Hey, some people like the book better.
Well, yeah.
Can I beat him up now?
People who read the book better. Well, yeah. Can I beat him up now?
People who read the book
people who read the book
first like
like the book better.
That's how that works
every time.
Every time.
Because the book
gets to explain shit
that the movie can't
because it's a fucking movie.
Sometimes movies
don't pick the parts
that were your favorites
of the book
because they have to condense it into...
Anyway.
I'm so mad at readers.
Where are we at?
Whose turn is it?
It's back to you, Trey.
Oh, back to me?
Back to you.
Shit.
Yeah.
Steven Spielberg's worst movie.
Yeah, and if you can name a Spielberg movie, you're out.
Back to the Future 3.
Okay, you're out.
Oh, was that not?
I thought, yeah.
That was Zemeckis.
Sorry.
Zemeckis is his.
Rob?
The second one, Raiders of the Lost Ark?
That's not the second one, though.
Oh, shit.
Do you mean Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom?
I do mean the Temple of Doom.
No, I love that movie.
Shit.
It's that movie.
A guy gets his heart pulled out of him.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can't give a thumbs down to a movie that does that.
No.
Especially when it's PG-13.
And monkey brains eat monkey brains.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was pretty cool.
I bet you could do that in a G-rated movie.
And it's just got a-
They didn't have sex with monkey brains.
You can eat them all you want
oh you monkey brain
fucker
all right
whose turn is it
that's me
okay
the lost world
Jurassic Park
no I like that one
as well
damn
yeah I like I like Jeff Goldblum's daughter
who does gymnastics.
I always enjoy Vince Vaughn
in a dramatic role.
That's the funniest thing
I've heard in a really long time.
I mean, it is a real textbook
on how to make a suspenseful sequence.
The scene where the trailer's getting pushed
over the edge of the cliff by the dinosaurs
and Jeff Goldblum and Vince Vaughn and Julianne Moore
are dangling inside of it.
And then she falls and she lands on the glass
and the glass just starts to just splinter
and you can just see it start to crack.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
Anyway, I mean, I like the craft.
I mean, that movie's still not that great.
I mean, I don't know.
I'm waiting for the perfect Jurassic Park movie.
I have issues with all of them.
Newman.
Okay, so...
Yeah.
Where are we at?
Whose turn is it?
I think it's mine.
Okay, Trey, you got another one?
E.T.
Oh, wait, you're out.
Oh, that's right, I am out.
Yeah, yeah, and I like E.T.
E.T.'s good.
Rob?
Close Encounters of the Third Kind?
No, Brandon.
I can't think of another one.
No, Rob.
No, I'm out.
Rob wins.
Oh, I win?
No.
He's got to name one.
Nobody wins.
Oh, I still got to...
You guys all fucked up.
Yeah, man.
You got another one, Rob?
All you got to do is name a Spielberg movie.
Oh, Schindler's List?
No.
I don't know.
He could be a huge anti-semite.
Did I say which one was the least amount of fun? Ooh.
Any more, Rob?
You're the only player still in.
Okay.
Let's see.
Steven Spielberg, he made...
That's it.
War of the Worlds.
Was that one?
Yeah.
The Terminal.
Hook.
Hook?
Some people love Hook.
Some people do. Hey people do hey hey hey
Rufio
every time
I don't know
I'm out man
I'm tapped out
that happens every
fucking time
I can't bring up Hook
without a little
Rufio chant
that's catchy
yeah
I kind of love it but i do i do not like that
movie but this is the steven spielberg movie that i walked out of i got up and left because i
couldn't take it my head was in the wrong place place. I can't blame the movie
entirely, but it's the only Spielberg movie
I've ever not completed.
I've sat through some crappy movies with you.
Spielberg
movies.
I'm just saying that you actually
walked out. No, I'll sit through anything.
That's how much this movie
upset me.
Ugh.
And I bet you most people in this room have not seen it.
Or if they did, it was on cable,
and they just kind of wandered in and out of the room
because there's plenty of time to do that.
Wow.
When you're watching the BFG.
I just watched that.
It's brutal. Never seen it. It's brutal.
Never seen it.
It's just so like every moment is like, isn't this magical?
No.
No.
I mean, it is.
The effects are good.
Mark Rylance, who I guess is in every Spielberg movie now, he's the BFG and he's very expressive.
Yeah. I haven't even's very expressive. Yeah.
I haven't even seen that one.
Yeah.
Big fucking goober.
My mom made this sweatshirt.
And that's where the crowd turned on him.
Well, I got good news for you, Trey,
because since no one won that game,
I'm still in the lead.
You're still in the lead.
Yeah.
Eat a dick, Dorkatron.
No, thanks.
That's really not cool, man.
That's not nice.
Did your mom make the tie too?
I don't care.
Of course.
He's not an audience member
at one of your shows
that you can just heckle like that.
I mean, not heckle,
but you know what I mean.
That's a neat trick.
What is happening over there?
I can't see around the vice president of Wawa.
It's reversible. I did not plan this
Wait
Holy shit
It is kind of sweet
A Star Wars vest
That his mom made for him
Is fucking reversible
Is the tie reversible too?
It's got green
You can't turn it inside out or some shit No it's two ties Reversible. Is the tie reversible too? It's got no tie that matches the insides of the car.
You can't turn it inside out or some shit?
No, it's two ties.
He's got worse the other time, motherfucker.
It's in the car.
In the car.
Yeah, smooth.
Always keep the second tie in the car
because you might not succeed in jerking off
and strangling yourself to death.
But if it's the first tie, you might need a backup
tie.
Leave a note for your mom
at least.
Mom,
this was for you.
Mom,
you're right. This tie is nicer.
Why do you make me go to the dark side?
Come to the dark side.
Why do you do that to me, Trey?
Look, there's a good balance.
You just have to find it.
Okay, well, you're way over the...
You're not balanced. You're on the ground. Sometimes you slip for a while. You're you're way over the... You're not balanced.
You're on the ground.
Sometimes you slip for a while.
You're laying down on the ground.
You're having a nap.
It's time for your nap.
All right.
All right.
So what were we talking about before that?
Games, movies.
All that happened.
Trey's in the lead.
Trey still gets to go first.
Yeah, what's up?
Yeah.
Trey gets to go first in our climactic
game of this
episode.
Yeah, it's climactic.
I hate this.
Because this is where it all slips away.
Alright, go ahead.
Everyone in the audience is going to be, I'll play what he's playing.
It's a little something called Last Man Standing.
All right.
We got this.
So Trey gets to go first.
You're going to switch the order around.
It goes to Brandon and then to Rob.
You each get one lifeline.
Trey's already pointing to his lifeline like,
be ready immediately.
We're good.
You think you're good?
Yeah.
I don't think so.
I mean, you know, you get to go first.
I don't even know if that's beneficial in this game, but that's what you know, you get to go first. I don't even know
if that's beneficial in this game, but
that's what you're going to get to do.
So it's going to go Trey, Brandon, Rob.
And the person in the audience
who we need to
get a name from, pre-selected
on Twitter, where is
B. Emily Allen?
She's got a whole section over there.
She's so excited,
I heard her inhaling
as you started her name.
She was,
that's my name he's about to read!
And you read it,
and then she put her hands up,
like, yeah, that's me.
All right.
Yeah, what if I was like,
B. Emma Rolls. I was like, B. Emerald...
I can't finish that.
Johnson.
Yeah, that's it.
69.
Emerald Johnson.
B. Emerald Allen.
What's your deal?
Where are you from?
I'm from Reno.
Reno.
By the C-no.
That's not real. No. I'm trying to put together a show there this summer in Reno. So thanks for going to the trouble of coming here.
Unnecessarily, but maybe not because this is a very important moment
what do you do in Reno?
I'm a realtor
realtor in Reno
okay
is business good now?
business is crazy
it's crazy?
really?
a lot of people moving to Reno
everybody's moving to Reno
really?
how much does a treehouse cost?
about tree-fitty
sounds about right About tree fitty.
Sounds about right.
Fwa, fwa, fwa.
Ha, ha, ha.
Fwa, fwa, fwa.
Holy shit.
Okay, so does anybody else on the panel have a great question for a realtor?
Nah, man, I'm cool with the tree houses.
A realtor in Reno?
God, I want to think of the name of the venue in Reno and see if you guys like it as a place to do.
If you're around after the show, I'll run it by you
because I can't think of what it's called.
The Pinewood?
Pioneer.
God damn it.
We're all great.
How's the Pioneer?
Is that a good venue?
It's terrific.
We're going to the Pioneer.
It's going to happen.
They sell booze there?
Yeah.
Sounds great to me.
Hey, you're not invited, Trey.
Oh, damn it.
I love Reno.
No, I'm going to bring in some West Coast talent for this one.
That's fair.
All right, so congratulations on being chosen.
You're the chosen one.
And do you have
a suggestion today
for actor or actress
for Last Man Stanton?
Okay, I just watched
Shape of Water.
Just watched Shape of Water.
This is bad news
for a lot of the people
on the panel.
I'll play along
to help keep the game going.
I was thinking Michael Shannon and Richard Jenkins
This is fun
This is a person that has the nerve
To come at me with two names
But I will say this
Probably very helpful for my guests today
So thank you for that
I'm so from the shape of water.
How about this?
Anyone from
the shape of water?
Not a lot of help.
I can't wait to play.
Fuck.
But first, let's do your plugs,
because a lot of you will turn the show off after the games.
Yeah, man, for real.
I'm never fucking moving to Reno, that's for sure.
Let's do your plugs right now.
How much is the treehouse?
I might go over there.
Ah, damn.
Depends on square footage, dude.
Square footage.
Trey, what do you got coming up where can people see you oh all right
so may 18th at the secret group in houston i love that place i'll be there june 9th yeah it's pretty
wicked and then um may 30th through june 2nd at capital city comedy club in Austin. I love that place too. I'll be there on Don't Have a Date Booked.
Right, yeah.
No information available this time.
Check back.
And then my album's on all the stuff, you know?
iTunes and Spotify.
It's called The Moronic.
Yeah, it's called The Moronic.
Just type in my name.
It's the only thing that's going to pop up.
I'm trying to teach him how to promote his stuff. I know'm so bad at it no thanks for clapping i appreciate you know you sit
there going i've got an album people are like yeah a lot of us do and they're collecting dust
in a corner no so i am you guys gonna record a new album in september at creep records in philly
so keep your eyes out you're gonna record it in the record store yeah man we're gonna do it in
the record store yeah that's some high fidelity shit right there're going to record it in the record store? Yeah, man. We're going to do it in the record store.
That's some high fidelity shit right there.
We're going to get high in the fucking head shop and then move over to the record store side.
Oh, that sounds brilliant.
And we're going to record my album in September there. You're going to kill in front of all those people napping.
Dude.
No, man.
It's Philadelphia.
So they're all jacked up on whatever else they put in the water there.
Those motherfuckers are wired, man.
I love them, but hot damn, I wouldn't hang out with them on a Friday night.
You're too busy shopping at Wawa.
Yeah.
Wawa took some heat this weekend.
I don't want to talk about it.
Rock got angry.
Because Wawa sucks.
See, look.
It sucks.
All it is is a 7-Eleven with a different logo.
It's just got some sandwiches and a different name.
Wah, wah.
Dude, you're going to get so much hate mail from this shit.
No, look.
Nobody ever claimed that it was the greatest hoagie in the world, dude.
But it's a solid fucking hoagie at 2 o'clock in the morning.
How you doing, Doug?
And the fact that they even have a hoagie at two o'clock in the morning. How you doing, Doug? And the fact that they even have
a hoagie shop in the back. It's a
7-Eleven with a hoagie shop and
tasty cakes, motherfucker.
Yeah, better than Hostess.
That's for damn sure.
Like I said, it's a fucking
7-Eleven.
What about me going with a 7-Eleven
t-shirt like, motherfucker, it's all about
7-Eleven!
You like stale nachos! What about me going with a 7-Eleven t-shirt like, Motherfucker, it's all about 7-Eleven! Was I up here?
You like stale nachos!
What about that corn thing, dog?
I don't know.
I'm just wearing the sweatshirt.
Did I mention them at all before this?
Fuck the sweatshirt!
See, listen to how he's yelling.
You got a five-year-old girl at home, dude.
I'm embarrassed.
I felt bad for her and your wife when you were yelling in the car.
You were using profanity and stuff.
That's embarrassing.
Over Wawa.
Did they do something to you?
Did they put something in your fucking hoagie?
No, they're actually kind of cool.
Oh, now you're going to backtrack
on it. I did it for comedic
effect, Trey. The same way
you were teasing this poor guy that his
mom made a nice sweat vest.
Yeah, that wasn't comedic effect.
Well, you know,
it does...
Oh my God. That's really fun.
That is crazy that he's not even showing any skin.
The listeners are going to think he's like whipping it out every time.
That's a crazy lady thing, Rob.
Yeah, he does look like a dude that had a big dick, though.
Oh, my God. Really?
He's just kind of skinny.
What does that have to do with opening his vest up like that?
When you were like, woo!
Like, Rob, start to unzip your hoodie like you're going to take it off.
They just fucking do it every time.'s now they do it for his vest too
trey start to take i yeah i don't understand they just feel sorry
start to take that off all right hang on
it's still gonna happen they're all, no. Some don't want it, but others are still going to do it.
Put your pants back on.
They're still going to do it.
They're still going to do it.
See, they do it anyway.
They do it anyway.
It can't be stopped.
You want some of this 45-year-old burnout body?
Check out those cheeseburger holsters.
Hey, you know, underboob is sexy,
but underbelly is a little
off-putting.
Yeah, but it's not fully hanging
over yet. I still got a little bit
of room to play
with. We're moving on to
the swimsuit portion now.
That's all I'm saying is it's just
an interesting thing
when a man
starts to just
rub on stage
women will do that
yeah how is it
is it
I don't understand
it's just like
you know
there's lots of things
that are just
somehow they're
bred into us
it is kind of hot in here They're just... Somehow they're bred into us.
It is kind of hot in here.
Do you see that?
I didn't do shit.
No, that was the biggest pop.
And you don't even have Darth Vader on the inside of your jacket.
You don't even have a pocket in there.
I know, I've lost a lot of checks.
But I wear this and I get
my check. Thank you.
Floor.
Where's my drink?
Alright, so
I finally
found the
there's nothing for me to find.
I was going to make up an excuse for letting
all that whatever just happened
happen.
But no, we got to play this game now.
Now we're racing the clock.
Oh, are we? Is there a meet
and greet afterwards? No, we got plenty
of time. Alright. Oh, there's definitely a meet
and greet afterwards. See you in the
parking lot.
I would like to meet everything that everyone
is holding. Yeah, where's dab couple?
Where's dab couple?
We've got a licensed
dab queen. Oh, you're licensed?
Oh, your license plate
says dab queen.
Alright. Well, you've got to beat the couple that dabbed us out earlier.
Yeah, and there's no reason to approach the stage.
My license.
Okay, ma'am, sit down.
Bailiff, could you go get that from her and bring it to me?
and bring it to me.
All right, so... Oh, I remember.
You suggested the cast of Shape of Water.
Yeah, the whole cast, please.
So it's anybody that's in Shape of Water.
I didn't see...
All right, well, let me give you the names.
All right.
Yeah, that's going to help. In the shape of water. I didn't see... All right, well, let me give you the names. All right.
Yeah, that's going to help.
What's up, Tammy?
Yeah, yeah.
No, this is going to help you out a lot.
All right.
Michael Stuhlbarg is in it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, right?
No, yeah, I've studied his films extensively.
Is that an American actor?
Yeah, oh yeah, he's great He's kind of a chameleon
So it's hard to keep track of him
But he's great
And Michael Shannon
You know him, of course
And then there is
Richard Jenkins
You know Richard Jenkins?
He was in The Who.
Sally Hawkins.
Oh, that's a good one.
Good, thank you.
Octavia Spencer.
Yeah, sure.
He was in The Gladiator.
What do you mean, yeah, sure, on Octavia Spencer?
I don't...
Academy Award winning actress.
Oh, really? What'd she win for?
Oh, it's a girl.
You can't trick me into giving you answers.
Damn it.
I'm so in trouble.
All right, well, I tried to make this shape of water thing work,
but it is not going to happen.
Yeah, not with this panel.
Not here, not now.
Rob, did you know it was not expressed?
Maybe in Reno.
I'll bring some smarties to Reno.
Legion. Hey.
They're like, no.
Alright, so
we gotta pick
somebody else.
Here's the new rule.
It has to be somebody that Trey Galleon
has heard of.
Oh. And Here's the new rule. It has to be somebody that Trey Gallion has heard of.
And Rob. We got a gentleman back there that said he's got one.
Judd T. Nelson.
Judd T. Nelson?
What?
Isn't he just Judd Nelson?
Or Craig T. Nelson.
Yeah, there's Craig T. Nelson and Judd
Nelson. You talking
about the coach or the fucking...
What?
Oh, you did want the coach, dude.
Okay, that's not Judd.
His name's not Judd. His name is
Craig. Craig. Craig
T. Nelson. Craig T. Nelson.
Craig. Who cares?
Coach is the best thing he was ever in. No, I disagree, Craig. Who cares? Coach is the best thing
he was ever in.
No, I disagree,
but I won't tell you
what the best thing
he's ever been in is
because then you'll
have an answer.
He's just been in TV shit.
No.
I can't do that.
He's been in a lot
of feature films, yeah.
Yeah, I know,
but I can't think of any.
A shit ton,
as this gentleman says.
Did you know butt load
is an actual measurement?
I believe it.
Yeah, it's 28 gallons, 26 gallons.
126.
Who the fuck?
Or one gallium.
Right?
That's at least a hernia.
At least one.
Oh, shit.
I know, right?
I should have known that.
I knew it was a lot.
I was willing to settle for 26, but 126.
Man.
Holy shit.
I know.
You got the information from me.
Okay, so
that's out. Yeah.
Wait, here, front row, front row.
Front row.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, come on.
We're right here in front of the Capitol building.
Never done Arnold Schwarzenegger.
He used to work in the Capitol.
He was, I think his job was maid fucker.
Duh.
And, um...
Oh, my God.
Somebody correct me.
It was a nanny.
I'm pretty sure it was
an au pair.
Where's the dork-a-tron?
It was a diaper
delivery person.
Or pickup? What do they do with diapers?
I'll come on your back.
What?
No reason for that.
All right, so...
We've probably done this very thing before
in the many times we've done Douglas movies here
in the capital of California.
California.
California. So. California.
So, yeah.
So it's a perfect setting for Schwarzenegger,
and I'm not going to let you guys toss that one out
because that would be silly
if you didn't each know a few Schwarzenegger movies.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
All right.
So you'll start,
and then which way were we going before?
Who cares? Then I'll go to Rob. Oh, okay. You said me next. And then Brandon, and then which way were we going before? Who cares?
Then I'll go to Rob.
Oh, okay.
You said me next.
And then Brandon, and then me.
What?
The other way?
You said we were mixing it up, going the other way.
Okay, then I go second then, Brandon.
Yep.
Fair.
That's what you get.
Okay, start us off, Trey.
I'm not even going to write them down, because this is going to be boom, boom, boom.
Conan the Barbarian.
Eraser!
True lies.
True lies, he says, Rob.
Terminator.
Would you like to put a thaw on that?
The Terminator.
Trey?
Conan the Destroyer.
Oh, look at you
So cute
Around the world in 80 days
Terminator 2 Judgment Day
Nice
Oh my
Some of us call it T2
What's that Rob?
Kindergarten Cop
It's not
It's not a tumor.
Got a big
pop, dude. It's not a tumor at all.
Twins.
Oh,
is that right? Junior?
Yeah.
Nice. I can't remember the
name. I wish I had total recall.
Oh.
Did your mom make that for you?
Oh.
Robert.
Did we say Predator 2?
No.
Should we?
No. Because I don't think he's in it. Oh, Predator 2? No. Should we? No.
Because I don't think
he's in it.
Oh, Predator 1?
I don't think we said
Predator 1.
Predator.
Okay, Predator.
You know what I'm talking about.
Predator.
The Predator.
Oh, wait.
I'm laughing at Rob,
and then I don't remember what all the movies that we said.
We'll let you know if we said one already.
Hang on.
You hang on.
All right.
I'm trying.
Who are we doing, Schwarzenegger?
Yeah.
Okay.
He was in a bunch of shit.
Yeah, he sure was.
Tammy.
I don't think he was ever in a movie called Tammy. He was in a bunch of shit Yeah he sure was Tammy I don't think he was ever in a movie called Tammy He was in Commando
Commando is correct
Thank you
Nice save Tamatha
Blow off some steam
Good job Tamula
You did it Tamula
Oh shit I just thought of another one I bet Oh, I just thought of another one. Oh, shit, I just thought of another one.
I bet you did.
I just thought of another one.
I just thought of another one.
Red Heat.
Red Sonja.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
Such an emotional audience.
Oh.
What do you think, Rob?
Do you want to go to your lifeline?
No, I got one.
Okay.
Pumping Iron.
Yes.
All right.
All right.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mming iron. Yes. Right.
Come on. You got this.
Yeah, I do, man. Come on, Trey.
Just saying
the uncrappables.
Oh, you got that
word. You know that word. You know that word.
It's a...
You know the word.
Come on.
People call you it all the time.
Oh, jeez.
It doesn't matter if they die.
Oh, no.
Come on, man.
I can't believe I'm going to drop the ball on this shit.
It's so easy.
It's disposable.
I know.
It's ridiculous.
Oh.
I know, it's ridiculous.
Just fucking say it.
Come on.
The?
The Undisposables.
You're out.
My turn.
Jingle all the way.
Ah, fuck.
The sixth day.
The sixth day.
Nice.
Batman Forever?
Yeah. No.
Dark Knight?
Dark Knight cometh? Here comes the Dark Knight again Dark Knight cometh?
Here comes the Dark Knight again?
Stop.
Stop.
It's called Batman what?
Shush!
Not fair, not fair.
That's definitely Amy Adams over there.
But you got it wrong.
You didn't say it right.
Batman Red Robin?
Is that what she said?
I was trying to give him a chance,
but you got it wrong.
Okay, you know what I was going for.
Good try.
Oh, yeah, we sure did.
Lifeline.
Lifeline.
What's your lifeline going to do?
Go, you fucked up, bro.
what's your life like in a do-go?
You fucked up, bro.
Sometimes I need
to be told that, you know?
Yeah, no, it's cool.
All right,
so we're still playing,
so no yelling out
from the audience.
I may have, you know,
one of my eyes
may have looked at that lady
when I asked that question.
It's misleading sometimes.
So Trey is out.
Rob is out. So it's on me?
No, it's on me. It's on you?
Yeah. Okay. I'm going to say end of days.
End of days. Very good. Very good.
I'm going to say
how about fucking?
Oh, how about the expendables?
Yeah.
The expendables to the expendables three.
Oh, Terminator three rise in machines.
Oh, you bastard.
Now he's getting cocky, dude.
True lies. I said that already. Somebody said, dude. True lies.
I said that already.
Somebody said it already.
I did.
I was said already.
Somebody said it.
Yeah, me.
I'm in charge here
and somebody said it.
I don't want to be
the bad guy here,
but I'm going to say the villain.
Oh.
Maggie.
It's real.
Look it up.
What'd you say?
Maggie.
I'm going to kill you.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
Oh, man.
Is this really happening?
She'll be your lifeline.
I don't need a lifeline.
I mean, I do need a lifeline,
but I do not get a lifeline.
I have to make this happen
all on my own
with my own powers.
He's got an Arnold name tag.
Fucking, what's
that one where he's all like,
he's all like,
and they're like, yeah.
Oh, wait, he said that one.
Do you have another one, Brandon?
Yeah.
Just out of curiosity.
Probably? You think you might? Do you have another one, Brandon? Yeah, I think so. Just out of curiosity. Probably.
You think you might?
All right, don't say anything.
Well, I'm not going to say Batman and Robin
because it's already said out loud.
No, that's not fair.
Escape plan.
There's definitely...
Well, I was going to say mine first.
Oh, sorry about that.
I'm going to go with Escape Plan.
Let's hear it for our winner, Brandon, everybody.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Whatever.
Congratulations, Jamie.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Whatever.
Congratulations, Jamie.
You congratulated the buddy.
See, that's how karma works, Trey. Man, I'm going to beat up him and his mom.
All right, which ones did we miss?
Last Action Hero.
Last Action Hero.
Did anybody say the first Terminator? We did say the first Terminator. Oh, Last Action Hero. Did anybody say the first Terminator?
We did say the first Terminator.
Oh, that's right.
The Last Stand.
I was trying to think of that.
I couldn't think of that.
Hercules.
Running Man.
Of New York.
Running Man.
Oh, I wouldn't have got that.
Collateral Damage.
Triangle Man.
Last Action Hero. Oh, yeah wouldn't have got that. Collateral damage. Triangle man. Last action hero. Yeah, we said that.
Aftermath.
He wasn't in the first Expendables?
He was in the second one, right? He's in all three.
Oh, I'm glad that got corrected. Second one and third one.
What did you say, Brandon? He's in all three.
He is? Yeah. What are you trying to pull
over there?
What kind of game are you running?
You want to help me beat him up later?
Yeah, all right.
He's down.
What's this other bag that's up here?
Oh, there's candy in it.
What?
From Tammy.
Jelly bellies? Buttered popcorn jelly bellies. Nope.
You know what's interesting? If you just
shove them in your anus, they're not bad.
You probably feel it about a galleon.
Is that a buttload, technically?
Yeah.
Yep, I put 126 of them.
They are buttered, you know.
All right, so in addition to everything else,
when you were in some random candies from a stranger.
Yeah.
And it's not Halloween.
Minus the Kit Kat.
You like those?
Yeah.
All right.
What?
Really?
Like people are
it's like a mini Kit Kat
and you're awing
that I took it away
from whoever
won the
fine there.
What the shit man
would have beat up you and your mom too
he's dumb man
sorry Tammy
oh that was for me anyway
oh okay we're gonna give it to the winner
yeah
sorry Anyway. Oh, okay. We're going to give it to the winner. Yeah.
Sorry.
Wait, where is that?
Who are you playing for, Brandon?
Jamie, come on up.
Come on, Jamie.
Congratulations.
Oh, she's going to dig out a Kit Kat for Trey.
Wow, she's really... Look at that.
Three Kit Kats for Trey.
Thanks, Jamie.
I'm still going to beat up you,
but I won't beat up your mom.
All right, cool.
Three Kit Kats for Trey is a great Hallmark movie.
He's about a dying boy. He says, all I want is three Kit Kats, and they just a great Hallmark movie. He's about a dying boy.
He says, all I want is three Kit Kats,
and they just smother him because he's an idiot.
Do I find love at some point?
No, you just get smothered.
That's no Hallmark movie.
But you do find Wawa.
I love you, Trey.
You're going to get so much hate mail
from the people of Eastern Pennsylvania.
I love them all.
I'm not trying to do that.
Yeah.
Yeah, Wawa's great.
It is.
Yeah.
It's decent.
It's almost hokey fest time.
All right.
I had one yes.
Brandon, what's going on in the tech world?
Starting a new job on Monday with a 10% pay raise.
Nice!
Fucking break that glass ceiling.
Yeah?
Some guy, boo.
That's for women to break.
I stand aside like a gentleman
waiting for that to break. I stand aside like a gentleman waiting for that to happen.
Equal pay for equal work, right?
Yeah.
It doesn't,
I don't know why anyone would go,
no.
She's got lady parts.
I support you
and your transition, dude.
Right. Trey, that is not I support you and your transition, dude. Right?
Trey, that is not what's going on here.
What?
He's just a very manly person who enjoys a vest.
That's true.
Just likes wearing a vest.
There's no reason to cast sexual aspersions.
It's okay.
My wife doesn't like it
where I wear them either.
My wife!
Almost didn't get that in.
It's very nerd Ellen DeGeneres
for sure.
Because she's so hip,
you have to say nerd Ellen DeGeneres.
It's like a nerd version of her.
Brandon, do you want to dance?
Nobody wants to see that.
No.
Rob, one more time, tell them the name of the album that I love the title so much.
Pure Uncut Joy.
Yeah, check it out.
You can check it out on Spotify or Pandora.
And I released a new video for it that's partially animated,
and it's the pinned tweet on my Twitter, at Rob Cantrell.
So check that out and support the album.
Check it out.
Yeah.
Trey, if I put some hashtags on social media
to describe this afternoon's episode,
what do you think were the standout expressions?
Fucking dorkatron.
What, just because you said it one time?
I said it a couple times.
All right.
How do you spell it?
D-or-ka-tron?
Yeah.
With letters.
And what else? Is there anything else that was hashtagable
during the show? Brandon might have one.
No, that's not it.
You said that once.
Brandon, can you think of anything?
Oh, no.
Reversible vest?
I like that. I like reversible vests. That's a
good one. That'll get a lot of attention
from reversible vest fans.
All
two of them.
I'm guessing at how that's
spelled.
There's got to be more than two moms
listening. I think I did.
I think I did alright people are still
suggesting things
flip shades
I hear flip shades and wah wah
but we don't need to give wah wah any free advertising
they haven't given me any free hoagies
so
once those start rolling in I'll try it hashtag free hoagies, so... Once those start rolling in.
I'll try it.
Oh, yeah, hashtag free hoagies isn't a bad idea.
Word.
Make sure my name's tagged on that shit, though.
Treehouse prices.
Treehouse market.
Treehouse is in Reno.
Oh, yeah, how much is a treehouse?
Treefitty. Square footage, man. Tree treehouse? Treefitty.
Square footage, man.
Treefitty.
Treefitty.
Wow, it's like everybody was here during all of that.
It's so much funnier when you say it.
What a miracle.
I may have left.
That we all have such good memories.
And thank you guys so much.
Oh, Trey, do you want to throw your plug in one more time?
Yeah, my album, The Moronic.
And then I changed all my shit to my name on social media.
So at Trey Gallion on Twitter and Instagram and all that.
You got copies to sell outside?
Oh, I do.
I'll barter with you guys.
I got my CD with me. Ten bucks
or fucking, what do you got, man?
Let's talk.
Yeah. Do you have some donuts
or... Something good. Yeah.
Anything. Yeah. Trade him.
Trade him. Some guy tried to trade me
a dumb, like, polo shirt one time. Like,
no, I don't want your dumb, stupid polo shirt.
Give me something good. I've gotten some good
stuff in Sacramento. Alright. Pass your name tag over here, stupid polo shirt. Give me something good. I've gotten some good stuff in Sacramento.
All right.
Pass your name tag over here, Rob, please.
And Trey as well.
Yep.
And I've got one more plug I want to say.
I'm going to be at the Secret Group in Houston on June 9th.
Secret Group.
At 420.
And yeah, and Trey's going to be there soon.
Yep.
And thank you one more time to all of my guests, Trey Galliam.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you, Doug Benson.
Thank you, Zach. All right, good show.
And Brandon Levitt, killing it.
There's no shithead on the back of it.
Okay.
I'm glad we worked that out.
Here's your thing back.
This one's like, you got to pull it out like a fun little high school thing.
Holy shit.
All right.
Thank you to the Punchline of Sacramento and all you guys for being here
on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.
And as always, Jenna is a shithead.
I think we can all agree on that.
I got worse things to say about her than that.
She's definitely at least a shithead.
And the person who took rachelwilson.com
so my voice student had to be rachelwilson.net
is a shithead?
Thanks again to MedMen for being
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Now it's time for Doug to watch
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