Doug Loves Movies - Rob Huebel and Anthony Jeselnik Guest

Episode Date: April 1, 2010

Doug welcomes comic actor Rob Huebel and comedian Anthony Jeselnik to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-no...t-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azithop or kernels in his teeth. They're still not warm, then he won't sleep, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! My name is Doug Benson and I love movies and beverages. I have beverages. Folks are still just coming in. It's an exciting time to be alive. I'm going to get my notes out and read to you the entire show.
Starting point is 00:00:41 I already said my name is Doug Benson. We're coming to you live on tape from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles, right before the always fantastic Comedy Death Ray. Applaud if you're sticking around for Comedy Death Ray tonight. Yeah. That costs, like, what, five bucks to get in? Five bucks? And so it's hard to get a reservation, though, right?
Starting point is 00:01:02 It's always very popular. Sells out fast. Don't answer. I don't give a shit. No, and then, so how many folks are not freeloaders, but just here for the podcast, just for the free podcast? Applause if you're here for that. Yeah, nice.
Starting point is 00:01:19 I want the two factions to fight each other. Or no, I want one to grow larger than the other. That would be awesome. I don't care which one. Just as long as you're all here. No, I do care. Come for both this and Death Ray. I try to have the guests are usually people that are not on that night's Death Ray.
Starting point is 00:01:41 I always try to come up with some sort of topical joke for the top of the show that everyone that's here at the live tapings you know gets to hear what kind of i'm acting like that's a privilege you get to you get to hear this about a week or four days before anyone else wow what an amazing i'm such a giver um but anyway i I don't have a topical joke about I was trying to think of a joke about Maybe like I saw a hot tub time machine today And
Starting point is 00:02:14 Somebody They must have sent the screenplay Through the institute of grossness Or something Because it was just kind of like As you go through the movie It's like poop check piss check vomit check semen check the end like they really got in all the four uh food
Starting point is 00:02:36 groups that's not the right it's not the right word for it so i'll work on that and get back to you guys let's get some uh let's get some funny dudes out here who uh will will help make this uh more entertaining than just listening to me babble uh that's that's what i wrote down for the intro that's the theme that's the theme this time is two very funny dudes uh my friends anthony jesselnig and rob hubel are here everybody let's hear it for anthony and robert rob hubel i wonder how you guys sound like talking like the three of us everyone knows my voice but will you guys sound identical the two of us do we have the same voice now you talk anthony please sound it'd be awesome if you sounded just like me i'm trying to think of how I could do that.
Starting point is 00:03:25 That's pretty good. Yeah, see, you guys do sound kind of similar. Wow. Yeah. Let's fool everybody. I'll re-record this part. Let's say, ladies and gentlemen, my guests tonight are the Sklar brothers. Hey, what's up, Sklar?
Starting point is 00:03:38 Hey. Hey. You guys just got Sklard. So that's Anthony, the one that just said Sklard So that's Anthony The one that just said Sklard And Is this for the podcast audience? Is what for the podcast audience?
Starting point is 00:03:53 All of this? Differentiating between our voices It's for the listeners It's not for the people sitting here But my point is the listeners aren't retarded They're not mentally retarded Or are they? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Most of them would be. I don't know. No, I just want to establish the difference between you guys. Okay. When I talk, I'll say Rob before every sentence. I'll say Rob. Rob. Why would you do that, Anthony?
Starting point is 00:04:18 You fucked everybody. No, I'm sure a lot of the people know both of your voices because I was going to say, Anthony plays characters. You're a writer on the Jimmy Fallon program. Not anymore. Not anymore, but you were. Don't make it sound like a bad thing. I quit.
Starting point is 00:04:36 You rose up like a phoenix out of the ashes. Was there drama? No, it was all good terms. Yeah, everyone's happy, especially them. No one got shot in the face or called a cunt. Not to the face. It was like, I quit. Oh, finally.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Thanks for all your hard work. Oh, nice. That's a nice way to go out. But you play a lot of characters on camera on the show actually just one character like
Starting point is 00:05:10 a guy in audience yeah that's played by you I actually an ex like you this is on the air tonight does it this podcast
Starting point is 00:05:18 no no it'll be a few days from now before because tonight well you guys I'd get killed on the show tonight the character I play and it's the last thing I'll ever do
Starting point is 00:05:25 on that show oh because he pre-taped it because you're here in LA and they do it in New York that's right and Rob Hubel you guys know from Human Giant this is Anthony
Starting point is 00:05:41 he was one third of Human giant or one fourth or fifth depending on how you look at it I don't think I'm half of human giant because of the two guys Thank You Anthony yes you're saying he's the fattest of the three of them is that what you said those two other guys are like those are two the only two guys you could probably have found that are thinner than smaller than you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Well, I found those guys. I started Human Giant, and then I wanted a little Indian guy and a guy with a gap between his teeth. And so I looked all over, and I had a ton of different people, and then those guys quit and kept getting killed. And then so finally I settled on Aziz. What is a dumb story? They kept getting killed. And then so finally I settled on his... What is a dumb story? They kept getting killed. He just slipped that in there like that's just something that happens. People just keep getting killed.
Starting point is 00:06:34 People get killed. We should get the lights brighter here. Right, podcast audience? You pieces of shit. Don't drag them into it. I'd like to insult the podcast. You think it's too bright right now? Is that what you're saying? No, no, it's good.
Starting point is 00:06:47 Okay. Anthony. Yes. Have you been in any movies? I was in one movie. I actually just saw it for the first time this week called Miss March. Whoa. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a... Did that play in theaters briefly? Very briefly. Like, oh, okay. It's on TV a lot now. It's on Cinemax like all the time.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Yeah. That's why I got to see it. And what did you do in Miss March? I'm like a video... Where's that guy going? Podcast audience. Some rude person just left he's probably going to go watch miss march he's just fucking he's like oh it's on right now i gotta go oh i forgot
Starting point is 00:07:33 that was a thing yeah in the uh in the movie craig robinson is a rapper named horse dick.mpeg and and he's he's so funny he's like the only funny thing about the movie and at one point he's doing a rap video for a song called Suck My Dick While I Fuck That Ass and at the end I come in as the video director and I say great job horse dick dot mpeg hip hop is back
Starting point is 00:08:03 which was I thought of that line and then we like we fist bump so hard that I fall out of the frame and you hear a crashing sound like plates falling and you never see me again you have no idea who I am they don't
Starting point is 00:08:19 say that I'm the director I just show up to say hip hop is back and then fall down I hope that's. I just show up to say hip-hop is back and then fall down. I hope that's hilarious. I mean, it sounds hilarious. I feel like leaving right now like that guy to go watch this. Oh, my God. I can't believe you haven't already seen it. I have.
Starting point is 00:08:35 I have seen it. Yeah, I've seen it. How many times? Yeah, yeah, I've seen it. Did that scene strike you as weird? No, I didn't see all of it. I didn't see all of it. If I had known of it if i if i had if i had known you were in it i would watch that part i was totally now i got an excuse to watch it um you know i gotta watch you fall out yeah i do want to see the
Starting point is 00:08:54 plates crashing i love that everyone should see i love when things get broken off camera that's never like they thought of that after they shot that's a great name for that's also a great name for a hip-hop song what was that song? Suck My Dick While I Fuck That Ass. Yeah, that's great. That really, that should be a song. I'm trying to figure out the initials to that song, but I couldn't do it. SMDW.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Well, that sounds bad. And Rob, you've been in a lot of movies no i've been a couple movies two and a half i've been in some really bad movies um i'd like to talk about those i was in a um really bad movie called the love guru that was really yeah did anyone did anyone here actually see that or is everybody just know that it's terrible don't clap no that's the wrong noise to make don't make that noise with your body. What was the other movie that opened that same day? It opened up against another comedy.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Oh, I don't know. Oh, Get Smart. Get Smart. Oh, that movie didn't do well either. But Love Guru is just really bad. They made a Get Smart 2 or they're making a Get Smart 2? Me and Daniel Tosh had a scene in Love Guru. We only have one scene.
Starting point is 00:10:02 And actually, our scene is kind of funny, but just the movie is bad. Josh had a scene in Love Guru. We only have one scene. And actually, our scene is kind of funny, but just the movie is bad. Where we get into a huge bar fight with Mike Myers and the other guy. And it's like a hundred stuntmen in this bar. And we pick a fight with them. And then this huge choreographed fight breaks out. And just people smashing people and smashing tables and stuff.
Starting point is 00:10:24 And it was really fun. I actually got to get smashed over the head and go flying over smashing people and like smashing tables and stuff and it was really fun like i actually got to get like smashed over the head and go flying over like a table and stuff but um yeah but that movie oh it's really it's the sort of movie where like you get i don't even remember that scene that's the kind of movie that is oh you don't like even kids are like i've seen this scene before this is bullshit like even little kids don't like it um i also did i did another terrible movie oh man i wouldn't feel bad if this person's here there's no way i bet they killed themselves by now but i don't think they're here i did this really bad bowling movie that was um what was it called i don't want to talk about it it was uh it was gutter balls no that would have been a great name um oh god it was directed by um
Starting point is 00:11:08 this guy's near because the guy's really nice but um but the movie he comes to shows here all the time no i've never seen him here but it was directed directed by tara reed's brother no tara remember tara reed so um so she's in this movie and he directed it and oh it's just really really really not funny do you think it would have been a better movie if they had actually gotten tara reed to direct it to direct it yeah they couldn't they couldn't fit them in the budget so they maybe they got a brother maybe yeah it's just really bad but you can't tell us what it's called oh yeah it's called 7 10 split you would never see that oh wait they also changed it to like strike fuck that doesn't matter like you can watch it on Netflix please don't watch it
Starting point is 00:11:46 please like cause I can't give you back that two hours of your life or whatever it is I wish that I could
Starting point is 00:11:53 there's no way it's two hours you're right it's like four hours there's so many movies now where you look over at the clock or whatever
Starting point is 00:12:02 you're watching it on Cinemax or HBO and it's like 20 after the hour and and the credits start to roll, and then the credits go for like 10 minutes to pad it out to that solid 90-minute movie they need. Yeah. Even like Alice in Wonderland. How long was that weird movie? I didn't see that. Did you guys see that?
Starting point is 00:12:18 Oh, man. You really should see it. A lot of people have not seen it. Wow. You should see it because it's called Alice in Wonderland, but then in the movie they go to Underland, which is not a Wonderland. It's fucking gray and bleak and weird. Ooh. But they still have some sweet dance moves.
Starting point is 00:12:37 I will never see that movie. I'll never see it. The only 3D movie I ever saw was Avatar, and now I feel like I've seen all 3D movies. So I'll never see another 3D movie again. Does that make sense to you? Well, I'm here to tell you that I really enjoyed... Because it was good or you hated it?
Starting point is 00:12:52 Because it was good, but I felt like I just did that. You did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like you don't have to bungee jump again necessarily. Yeah, I'll just regular jump. Fuck that hooker again. You know who hates all these 3d movies is um uh roger ebert do you follow him on twitter um you should you should follow him he's like the
Starting point is 00:13:12 best i know he's like whenever somebody retweets his stuff i find it interesting you know he can't talk like yeah he can't talk well it seems like so that's what he does is he yeah he just twitters i don't need to raise every thought he's really that's really that's terrible but dude no seriously though i do recommend it because whenever i read something he's written or like he always has links to things he's written that's what it is he just he just links to he's just like a film critic that's possessed now he like he'll write you know things like are practically like op-eds about uh political candidates well things that are he did this whole thing about 3d movies and how little kids are now asking their parents,
Starting point is 00:13:47 like, oh, do we have to see it in 3D? Like, little kids are, like, anti-3D now because it's just, like, too much. And he hates 3D movies, I think, too. Wow, it's really quiet in here. It's trying to be interesting. But I want to say that How to drain your dragon is very... Think of the listeners, Rob. It's very...
Starting point is 00:14:14 Oh, the listeners. I just mimed sucking off a dragon. Very engaging. See, they probably had a nice chuckle there. Maybe. Maybe passed a little something through their nose. Maybe. But I like the movie is my point.
Starting point is 00:14:27 It's good? Is that a good movie? Yeah, it's charming. It started off for the first half hour, I was like, I got these glasses on, these Vikings are yelling at each other. And then for some reason, the story sort of kicks in
Starting point is 00:14:38 and I found it really engaging all the way to the end. And I dare to say, I liked it better than Avatar. I think it's got better storytelling you're never gonna get you're never gonna get cast by james cameron now you just fucked up i'm never gonna have to fucking stand in a blue suit on a on a green soundstage for days on end being screamed at by this fucking dictator of a film director yeah too bad i'm missing out on that. Have you seen that clip on the internet? I'm sure everybody's seen it where he's at LAX
Starting point is 00:15:09 and he's coming back and he gets kind of like attacked by this fan and it's really just like two paparazzi. You know that scam where like it's two paparazzi and like they get together and they're like, okay, so you act like you're a fan and try to get him to sign this thing. And then so this guy goes up and he goes, hey man, I'm a big fan, I'm a big fan. Will you sign this thing?
Starting point is 00:15:25 And James Cameron's like, well, you know, I'm with my family or whatever. I don't really want to sign it. And the guy's like, come on, man. I paid money to see your movie. And he's like, you know, I'm with my family and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, hey, man, I'm a fucking huge fan. And so meanwhile, his buddy is filming this whole confrontation.
Starting point is 00:15:39 It's completely fake. And then like that gets sold to TMZ as like this big thing. And so that guy, and then they split the money. It'sz is like this big thing and so that guy and then they split the money it's like this you guys should be paparazzi it's really easy to make money but what do you not know what i'm talking about you didn't see that uh not that one no i never saw that it's like a thing that they do it's like a little racket that oh yeah i've seen that sort of thing i mean even the people that are straight up tmz people just go up and just ask annoying questions yeah yeah yeah it's always like, yo, Katherine Heigl,
Starting point is 00:16:05 what do you think about what's going on with, you know, Pete Rose? It's always just like, what? That's on everybody's mind. I mean, what is going on with Pete Rose, Katherine Heigl? I couldn't think of any
Starting point is 00:16:21 current scandal or anything, but Pete Rose Every few years it's a new scandal with him Because they always have to re-debate About whether or not he should be in the Hall of Fame Or whatever But then they'll ask people They'll ask people about stuff in the news
Starting point is 00:16:37 Or about like if somebody dies It's always like what do you think about so and so being dead It's just like never met the guy He heard nice things things then they try to get in their car and then they get and then they get burned for like uh not tipping the valet yeah i just did this movie in hawaii i did this movie i did like a week on this movie in hawaii but it's this uh um george clooney movie which was really fun and like he's actually like the nicest person in the world but um it was really funny because we're shooting mostly in this house
Starting point is 00:17:06 and across the street these paparazzi rented this house and they cut down all the trees in the yard so they can just be in their front yard just like... Like all day and all night. But he had a really good idea that... maybe i'll get in trouble if i say this no i don't think so i think this is a good idea but i don't know if he'll ever do it but he
Starting point is 00:17:31 he wants to do this thing to fuck up the whole paparazzi system i didn't mean to take over the topic either tell me if i should not well now we can't we can't walk away from this one now well i don't know if i should say this but it'll be short one now. Well, it'll be short. I don't know if I should say this, but... It'll be short. Do we have time? Yeah, it'll be short. So his idea to sort of implode the whole paparazzi system was like, one day of the week, go out with some random celebrity on the street to the Ivy
Starting point is 00:17:58 and just make out with her. Everyone's just like... And he's like, oh, we're totally in love. This is Jennifer Aniston, whatever. The next day, Katherine Heigl, just... Oh, we're totally in love. This is Jennifer Aniston, whatever. The next day, Katherine Heigl, just, oh, we're totally in love. The next day, just a different person all week. And then have those people do that also. So you get all your famous friends to just one week,
Starting point is 00:18:16 just everyone make out with everybody on the street. So it's just like, what? It's just too much for the paparazzi. So then it just discredits their whole industry. So it's like nothing, what? It's like, it's just too much for the paparazzi. So then it just discredits their whole industry. So it's like nothing can be counted on. It doesn't discredit them, though, because then their next story will be like, you know, once it's all over on the following Monday,
Starting point is 00:18:36 they'll come out with, no one was making out in Hollywood today. You know what I mean? And then, you know, they just have to find a new angle on that story. That'll be the biggest story in the history of celebrity news if, you know, there was a fucking crazy orgy amongst all of the... Yeah. Even if it's just a mouth orgy, that's still not going to work out so great for everybody in the end, I don't think.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Well, that's a lot different than my plan to get rid of paparazzi. Oh, Anthony's got a plan, everybody. Well, I've had this for a long time. Is this having to do with AIDS? You guys can search for the line. This is't think. Well, that's a lot different than my plan to get rid of Pup Roxy. Oh, Nancy's got a plan, everybody. Well, I've had this for a long time. Does this have to do with AIDS? You guys can search for the line. This is not an AIDS thing, is it? No, it's every celebrity goes out in blackface. That's a great idea.
Starting point is 00:19:16 Because who would want to see that? No one's going to buy papers. Right. You know what I mean? That's a great idea. Val Kilmer in blackface again? Right. We should do that tomorrow, you and I.
Starting point is 00:19:30 We'll start it. I think we're big enough celebrities to be able to... We're so huge. We literally get murdered. No one would notice or care. Have you guys seen any movies lately? Either of you, jump in. Last night I saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
Starting point is 00:19:51 It's like a foreign, it's from Sweden. It's based on a book. But I saw the 10.45 showing. I was stoned as shit. I had a drink before I went in. And I had read the book. So the movie was like No surprise after another no surprise
Starting point is 00:20:07 And it was two hours and 45 minutes long So you're saying you didn't make it to the end? I'm saying if you read the book Don't see the movie And if you didn't read the book Probably still don't see that movie I thought it was going to be more of a thing About the weed and the alcohol and the...
Starting point is 00:20:27 I wanted to go to sleep. Reading the subtitles must have been rough. I would try to stay awake, and then right when I would be like, fuck it, I'm going to just close my eyes for a second, the loudest thing in the movie would happen. There was one gunshot in the whole movie, and it was right as I went like... I thought you were going to say it's when she got the tattoo. It's the loudest scene in the movie. They don't even show that part.
Starting point is 00:20:47 She already has it when it starts. Of course she does. I can't wait for the prequel. She just wants to see her pre-tattoo. It's called The Girl. She's thinking about the tattoo. Talks to some friends about it And at the end
Starting point is 00:21:07 She actually gets it Fucking Terry Reed's brother Is going to direct it He will He will That's a callback Oh Are we supposed to announce
Starting point is 00:21:20 When we do callbacks? Yes Yeah He's a nice guy I don't want to You know He's a nice guy. I don't want to, you know, he's a nice guy.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Who are we talking about now? Never mind. Keep going. Oh, what movies have I seen? What did you see? I just knocked out a bunch on a plane. I watched Fantastic Mr. Fox, which was really awesome.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Have you guys seen that? I only heard good things about it for the most part. Yes. Occasionally somebody will be like, I can't stand the animation because it's so twitchy or whatever. Well, this is, I think, like, is it animation
Starting point is 00:21:48 or is it like claymation? Be quiet. Stop motion. But is it done with little clay? That was adorable. I'm glad there was a lady who said that. If I was a dude, I would be all over it right now. She probably directed the movie. If it was a dude, it would be like, stop motion.
Starting point is 00:22:06 It was really good. I thought it was just good writing. But it also looks like a Wes Anderson movie. It's like those wide shots. It's really cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to see that still. Then I watched the fucking,
Starting point is 00:22:18 the best movie ever is that Michael Jackson movie. Did you guys watch that? Yeah, that movie was awesome. Wait, no one saw that movie or you guys saw it like a year ago i saw that movie was amazing well when you're on a plane though especially that movie made me you didn't buy a ticket to see in the movie theater like the rest of the whiteys i don't even understand what that means um i saw it in a movie theater and i i thought it was great
Starting point is 00:22:48 but i was a little bit more because i was on a plane oh maybe in a movie theater well i just thought it was really good because i thought he was like um i thought he was going to be like uh like a meth head like idiot you know like they couldn't dance and then he was like that's what you thought the movie was gonna be yeah i thought he was gonna be like about a film being out showing it being a crazy non-dancing meth head well i just didn't know he was gonna let's show that on the airlines with the children i didn't know he was gonna be good still like i thought he was gonna be like kind of old and not good but he was still really good but is it really it sounds like to me like it sounds like tuesdays with maurice the musical well it's not depressing or anything you know he's like right about to die well i don't believe that he's dead that's a whole
Starting point is 00:23:34 other story you think he's still alive right i'm positive he's still alive and i could tell you where he is he's at my house right now really i would have thought in the hearts of children everywhere but at your house he can't he's he's what's he doing right now really i would have thought in the hearts of children everywhere but at your house he can't he's he's what's he doing right now he's just watching miss march callback number two wait he's beating me in callbacks fucking crushing is this part of it do we compete in the callbacks that's important um no but i thought that movie was really good um uh what else have i seen a while i saw hot tub time machine i thought that was good you didn't like that no i did it was just very poopy i thought cordry i thought it was i thought cordry
Starting point is 00:24:17 and um and craig robinson were uh outstanding and So funny, so funny. But when you see the trailer, there's no hint of bodily functions. Wait, are you offended by... Not offended, because in some contexts I enjoy it. Sometimes I enjoy it, but for some reason... And there wasn't semen. I heard you say there was semen. Where was there semen? All over Cordy's face in that one scene after he blows the dude.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Spoiler alert. Good spoiler alert good point good point oh i guess it'd be so funny to write a really mad email or tweet to me about how i just ruined hot tub time hey man i did not know that cordy blew another dude but it's actually soap on his face until you said it and that other guy yelled it. Damn you. I don't think you'll get those tweets. No, I'm not going to even watch it on DVD or Blu-ray.
Starting point is 00:25:15 What else have you seen? I saw The Crazies. Why are you taking over like that? Do you like The Crazies? I've heard mixed things about The Crazies. I like The Crazies. the crazies wait i gotta see that is that a good movie yeah i heard that wasn't very good i liked it i'm a big ollie font i think that's how you say his name the actor the guy in just wood yeah deadwood i used to work on deadwood did you really we don't have time to talk about that uh i love that's my favorite that's great
Starting point is 00:25:37 that was a great show uh but yeah the crazies is good deadwood's amazing that's as far as you're gonna go that's as much that's as much as i can get there was a lot of bottles called i love movies yeah crazies is good deadwood's amazing next topic no that's the unfortunate thing is there is some great tv right now like this isn't the time of year for great movies is the time of year for great tv breaking bad is back and uh no thank you fucking love what no thanks you've never tried crystal meth i have not something about i just can't get into it i don't know you tried watching it though i think it's like that i still see the guy from that fucking show in the middle yeah and i'm like call back you've got no that's not what a callback is
Starting point is 00:26:23 wow that is that is a long distance callbackback to some other time when anyone in this room was discussing Malcolm in the Middle. I don't know. I can't. I don't buy it. I don't buy the whole thing. What about Mad Men? Love it. Okay, see, that's the one I can't buy into for the dumbest of reasons.
Starting point is 00:26:44 What is your reason? I played poker with Don Draper, and... That's not his real name. What? You don't call him Don Draper. This is how I find out. That's not a reason not to watch a show. That's called name-dropping.
Starting point is 00:26:56 No, yeah. Well, maybe that's why I didn't say Jon Hamm, who has been on this podcast, but, like, callback. I think it's... It's two to two, just so you know. The first one, but like callback. I think it's... It's two to two, just so you know. The first one was not a callback. The referees decided... Yeah, yeah. I didn't really think...
Starting point is 00:27:12 Oh, neither of them are. Okay, good. Whew. Wait, hold on. My phone's ringing. Hold on one second. What is it? Take it.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Put it on speakerphone. I'm sorry. I'm going to have to call you back. Callback. Three to two. Three. Three to two. Three to two three to one i said it twice i feel like you should get points um but we don't want to talk about tv right we should talk about movies what's the last movie you saw oh time machine what about right before that oh wow that's a good
Starting point is 00:27:41 memory test um right before that, I saw something yesterday. Oh, I saw Greenberg yesterday. How was that? Hold on. Just think about it more. It'll be more fun to watch because it's not as much of a comedy as the previews are letting on. See, that's what I'm saying is that Hot Tub Time Machine didn't seem like it was going to be like it was gonna be a gross out comedy per se all right i thought it'd just be more like four hilarious guys being hilarious and then and there's a lot of that in there so i recommend it but i don't
Starting point is 00:28:12 recommend the the gross parts but then what do people do when the gross parts come on i was fucking squirming in my seat although there's one there was one runner with crispin glover yeah that's like uh that i enjoyed oh for with Crispin Glover. Yeah, that's like that I enjoyed. Oh, for the Crispin Glover role? Yeah, and it's like really? If it's me against Crispin Glover
Starting point is 00:28:31 don't send me in on that you fucking dicks. Like he's in later that day which one was in Back to the Future? That this basically just sort of rips off?
Starting point is 00:28:41 No, it was Crispin Glover. Oh yeah, we want him. Send me in on that, you jerks. But they probably loved you in the part, and they'll bring you in for something else. That's how show business works, Rob. Well, that director doesn't... I don't even know who directed it.
Starting point is 00:28:58 I have not seen Greenberg yet, but I'll tell you what I have seen, everybody. If you go to the ArcLed right now in the lobby, you don't have to pay to see this. Just walk into the lobby. They've got a glass encased. The vest and pants and shoes that at one point in the movie
Starting point is 00:29:13 Ben Stiller wears in Greenberg. No. They've got Greenberg's fucking clothes. I laughed for 20 minutes. Do they really? Standing in front of it. They have the whole big Greenberg poster and then this, as if it's an iconic,
Starting point is 00:29:28 as if it's Princess Leia's fucking gown from the movie... Blackface. Star Trek. And they have it as if anyone would ever care. People are going to flock to see this thing. Well, they also have a big map up there
Starting point is 00:29:43 of all the locations in Los Angeles where the movie was shot. I didn't even get to that because I was so blown away. But I mean, it's really a full experience and you get it for free. You get a map of scenes. I put money in the case.
Starting point is 00:29:58 I was like, this is too much. Of Ben Stiller as Greenberg. Here's my thing about Greenberg. That movie is not a comedy, right? It's not really a comedy. It's not as much of a comedy as I'd hope to be I'm a fan of Noah Baumbach I really like Squid and the Whale And I also like some of his other stuff
Starting point is 00:30:11 But with this one I just think that You might enjoy it more If you At several points during the movie just yell out Oh Greenberg Because he's kind of hard to take Several points during the movie just yell out, oh, Greenberg. Because he's kind of hard to take, the character of Greenberg,
Starting point is 00:30:32 which is why Ben Stiller's getting great reviews, because he does a good job of being someone that's pretty hard to take. What if you saw it in... He's not going in likable Ben Stiller mode. I haven't seen it yet, but what if you saw it in D-Box? Do you know what that is? You know, those seats that vibrate? If my seat would shake every time uh greenberg was uh angry for no reason that would be if you're just that would really help that would really make it make it a lot more fun that might be a good idea that's a fantastic idea how come that hasn't d box movies with any
Starting point is 00:30:58 movie where there's a lot of yelling how come that hasn't taken off more or is it just too expensive do you guys know what i'm talking about it's the it's just that the chinese here in hollywood is the only place i've ever heard it's like talking to babies that don't even know what d box is d box is um these seats that they have it's actually only a lot that you don't know it's at two theaters in the whole country but it is awesome and they're just those um they're like computer calibrated seats that like vibrate and shake around and like like i saw um fast and fast and furious whatever the most recent one was They're just those computer-calibrated seats that vibrate and shake around. I saw Fast and Furious, whatever the most recent one was, and it's at Man's Chinese Six. It's the only place they have it out here.
Starting point is 00:31:33 It is amazing. It makes it... Because the Fast and Furious was garbage, but you see it in D-Box, and you go over jumps, and you're like, what? What? What? What? It was really great. Are you texting? No, I'm getting like, what? What? What? What? You know, it was really great. Are you texting?
Starting point is 00:31:49 No, I'm getting ready to play the Leonard Maltin game. There's a new app on, not that new, but there's an app on the iPhone, and so that's how we play it. Oh. Because I just pull it up on the app. Remember I used to have that bulky book that I had to look through? Yeah, yeah. You don't do that anymore? It was a nightmare.
Starting point is 00:32:03 All right. So let's play the Leonard Walton game, everybody. And I'm sorry I didn't have anything to add to your story, but you described D-Box so perfectly that I'm very happy for you that the D-Box Corporation is going to bring one to your house. I want to start calling people D-Box. What would it... Shut up, D-Box.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Shut up, you fucking D-Box. I'd like to see Drain Your Dragon in D-Box. What would it... Shut up, D-Box. What would... You fucking D-Box. I'd like to see Drain Your Dragon in D-Box. Sounds like a female douchebag. Drain Your Dragon in D-Box. In D-Box. I love it. Alright, let's get some contestants. What's your name? Mark.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Mark, and who would you like to have play for you? Rob or Anthony? You know I'm way smarter, right? Rob, see? Bad choice, my friend. Wait, you just said one thing and then went the other way. What's your name? Dave.
Starting point is 00:32:51 Dave, and who do you want to play for you? Jesselnik. Jesselnik, all right. Can't even pronounce your name correctly. You got it close enough. No one knows what your name is at all. It is fucking on, man. Dad, I didn't realize that.
Starting point is 00:33:06 My theme should have been fucked up names. Really hard names. That's true. Hard names to get right the first try. Yep. Okay. Rob Ubell, you're playing for... That's not how you say my name.
Starting point is 00:33:19 You're playing for Mark. Mark, I was just in a car accident. Anthony, you're playing for David. Now it's your job to a car accident. Anthony, you're playing for David. Now it's your job to remember their names. Okay, here we go. David, Mark, I'm going to open a beer for you. Please don't give him a beer. He looks like he's 16.
Starting point is 00:33:37 I'm going to have to cease my D. I can see it now. Stoner gets underage kid drunk. Like, hey, wait, what did pot have to do with that? All right, here we go. Since we're taping this on March 30th, 2010, so that's the last day of Earth Month. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Next month is Earth Month. Oh, since it's the day right before Earth Month starts. Earth Month Eve. This since it's the day right before Earth Month starts. Earth Month Eve. This is... Oh, shit. This is like birth control for birds. Podcast audience, you don't get it. They should just come here.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Just setting it up. So the subject is... Man, he's doing it already. Everything he's doing is... He's like two steps ahead of me. The subject of all the movies in the game tonight is disaster films. Love it. Disasters that spring from the earth.
Starting point is 00:34:37 And hurt buildings and things. And let's let Anthony start the thing off by... Anthony, would you like to play with a movie from, let's see, 19... No. 1996, 2006, or 2000? Let's go 96.
Starting point is 00:35:00 What? For reals? Fuck you. Yeah, 96, man. That's my prime. All right. Okay, 96, man. That's my prime. All right. Okay, this is from 1998. I'm just happy I had the option.
Starting point is 00:35:13 I can't tell the difference between the 8s and the 6s. All right. This is from 1998. Anthony, how many names can you get it in if it's in a disaster movie that Leonard Maltin said this about it? I'll give you a little clue is leonard martin still alive sorry uh yes he is he was a guest on the show recently oh thank
Starting point is 00:35:31 god thank god and uh is that what killed he was the first the first uh tweet he ever wrote on twitter had my name in it and then he quit okay um it's hard to pick out a line from this one. Let's say this. An actress in it seems a bit of a flyweight as ambitious TV newswoman. And there are a lot of names. I can name that movie right now. 18 names. Well, Anthony, you can bid zero names if you'd like. I can bid zero names. All right. Name that movie right now 18 names Anthony you can bid zero names
Starting point is 00:36:05 I can bid zero names Alright name that movie Deep Impact What the fuck is up What What is happening What Stop clapping
Starting point is 00:36:20 Stop clapping Clearly That is not a call back clearly there's something wrong he's the antichrist or something that's impossible I'm so sorry
Starting point is 00:36:36 you still have you still have other chances wait what would he win other chances to fail if I get everything in zero there's amazing prizes for this Oh yeah, high five
Starting point is 00:36:48 And fuck you Anthony, high five David Yeah, but look at your guys like weirdo Dumb t-shirt No one gets that, buddy You know who gets it? Winners get it Way to stay classic, my man Fucking button down
Starting point is 00:37:02 Dumbass. Look at his shoes. Fucking athletic socks. My guy's wearing no socks. Yeah. Podcast audience, just figure it out. I don't know. I wanted to make Dante's Inferno one of the movies,
Starting point is 00:37:21 but I accidentally picked the one from 1935. Wait, how many times have you seen Deep Impact? Not once. Really? I remember Tia Leone is a newscaster in it. Talk about fucking lightweights, right? Leonard Baldwin says about Dante's Inferno,
Starting point is 00:37:42 he says, no Dante in this yarn of carnival owner who gets too big for his own good oh carnival owners are always getting out of control with their power that they have with their carnival charge of all the freaks all right i'm sorry i didn't mean to interrupt what you were doing there rob um but i'm not doing anything. I'm bleeding. My brain is bleeding. Well, here's your chance to jump back in this. All right, I feel like I have diarrhea.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Get in it, man. Do it right. You can pick the year. 2006, 2000, or 74? 1974. 2006. Jackass. Okay, now that was directed
Starting point is 00:38:22 at Anthony, correct? Okay, this is from 2006 and um let me give you a clue from it it's a disaster movie and uh oh okay no i can't say that it gives away too much oh its characters are flat and uninteresting That's every disaster movie. All right, I'll give you one more thing. A random group of... Okay, there's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... You know, I bet I could name it right now. Twelve names.
Starting point is 00:38:58 I swear to God. Rob gets to bid first. Rob gets to bid first. Twelve names. Twelve names. You bid first. Okay, wait. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:39:05 If he says he can do it in zero, can I make him do it in zero? Do you think right now you can do it in zero? You have to bid first. So you can say however many you can do it in. And if he goes to zero, then he has to name the movie. I bid I can name it in the first not only 20 actors in the movie, but the first 20 minutes of seeing the movie, I bet I could name that movie.
Starting point is 00:39:28 Okay. Anthony, that gives you a lot of wiggle room. I don't even know what he just did. But I bet I can name it right now. In how many names? Say it. Zero names. Say it.
Starting point is 00:39:40 Okay. Rob Hubel says name that movie. Name that movie. Oh, shit. Don't. Oh, God damn it. You are so cocky. It's really...
Starting point is 00:39:46 Poseidon. It's Poseidon. That's correct. Shut up! Shut up! Stop it! Stop clapping! Stop clapping!
Starting point is 00:40:00 This is terrifying. I am afraid of the devil. He's the devil, man. How have I never done this podcast before? How is this my first time? How can he get that? Well, you've lived in New York for a while. Are you going to move back here or are you going to stay there?
Starting point is 00:40:18 We'll see. I'd like to stay there because this place sucks. What is wrong with you? Ask me how many times I've seen Poseidon. How many times have you seen Poseidon? None. What did you get it off of? A lot of flat characters.
Starting point is 00:40:34 It seemed kind of like a Poseidon-y. David wins. I knew 2008. I knew it came out then. What? David gets a... Wait, we're not done. I'm coming back, man
Starting point is 00:40:45 Give David the whole fucking bag I have to get it in No, I need the bag to carry something in I have to get it in zero Hold on Hold on Alright, sit down Let me give away the prizes
Starting point is 00:40:55 You lost You lost You think of something And I'll think of it Just think of a disaster movie I'll think of it And if I get this, do I win? Okay, I've got one
Starting point is 00:41:08 You can win anything right now I've got a disaster movie in my head I can't think of any, hold on Alright, he wins a Monday, April 12th I'm going to beat the shit out of you Monday, April 12th Would you like to come to a live performance
Starting point is 00:41:25 of the Benson Interruption at Largo? He's going to be there. That's a $40 value there. Two tickets to see the Benson Interruption Monday, April 12th. My guy,
Starting point is 00:41:35 I just want to tell you to honor you, I'm going to cut my dick off. No, there is a second place and it might be considered to be better than first place. The prize is he gets to name who
Starting point is 00:41:49 I call a shithead at the end of the show. So let me just get that from him now. You guys talk amongst yourselves. Obviously it's going to be that lady that yelled something. Okay, that's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good shithead. And do you guys have anything you want to plug here at the end of the show?
Starting point is 00:42:09 Dates coming up? Why don't you plug hell, Satan? Anthony's going out on the road. You're going to be playing some clubs and stuff. When's this going to air? Is this going to air next week? It's going to be out soon and for the rest of our lives. So if you've got anything coming up.
Starting point is 00:42:22 I'm going to be on Carson Daily next week. Oh, nice. Thursday or Friday of next week. Oh, right on. So set. I'm going to be on Carson Daily next week. Oh, nice. Thursday or Friday of next week. Oh, right on. So set your whatever you're doing. With Dan Minson,
Starting point is 00:42:27 Chelsea Peretti, and Demons. I'm recording my album in May at the UCB Theater in New York. Oh, nice. If anyone's. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:41 Sign up for the probably cost five bucks, eight bucks to get in, something like that. I'll probably make it like just because it's an album taping, probably five bucks, eight bucks to get in Something like that I'll probably make it like, just because it's an album taping Probably twenty bucks Twenty bucks to get in Twenty bucks ahead
Starting point is 00:42:49 Twenty bucks per person I don't know what just happened there I was sitting there thinking This might be going someplace Maybe there's a callback up ahead And more pushups More pushups He did pushups when he won the game.
Starting point is 00:43:06 That wasn't push-ups. The audience missed it. That was like warm-ups. He was pumping the mic. You were totally worming. The audience missed it. I mean, the podcast audience. Let me do my plugs.
Starting point is 00:43:14 You're going to be at Bonnaroo this year, aren't you, Rob Hubel? Yeah, Bonnaroo. And I was going to plug Children's Hospital, but that's in July. Watch Children's Hospital. Oh, watch it. Not that you're going to be at a Children's Hospital. No. Pat Hubel, everybody. Pat Hubel. Children's Hospital is,, watch it. Not that you're going to be at a Children's Hospital. No. Pat Shubel, everybody.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Children in hospitals, you know. I'm going to be at Wow Hall in Eugene. There's no truth to the fact that Wow Hall gives you the runs. Remember Wow Chips? Anyway, Wow Hall in Eugene, April 8th. Aladdin Theater in Portland, April 9th. Aladdin Theater, Portland, April 9th. Tower Theater and Bend, April 10th. Those are all Oregon.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Beds Interruption on Monday, April 12th. And I'll be making stops in Madison, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis soon. Thanks again to Rob Hubel. Thank you, Doug. And the greatest player of the Leonard Baldwin game in the history. I think you're the only person that's ever just won two right in zero. He's got hellfire.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Patton Oswalt and Dana Gould have both gotten some right in zero. I think Jerry O'Connell got one right in zero. We're going to have a world of championships
Starting point is 00:44:15 someday. No one's ever read the mind and killed the semen of the host with their brains. And as always, Jay Leno is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.

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