Doug Loves Movies - Ron Funches, Jonah Ray, and Jared Thompson Guest

Episode Date: June 8, 2014

Live from The Comedy Attic in Bloomington, IN, Doug welcomes Ron Funches, Jonah Ray, and Jared Thompson to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Noti...ce at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and baby sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth They're still not warm, that he won't see Oh God, oh Louise Hey everybody! Let me just get this set up here I got my shit together there's a piece of paper in here somewhere I thought it was in the bag
Starting point is 00:00:40 I had put it on the chair thanks for your help oh shit here we go in the bag. I had put it on the chair. Thanks for your help. Oh, shit. Here we go. Hey, everybody. I think I said that already. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies!
Starting point is 00:00:58 It was almost like someone turned on a really strong fan and pointed at me from two different sides. Coming to you once again from the comedy attic in Bloomington, Indiana
Starting point is 00:01:11 on Sunday, June 8th, 2014. Wolf of Wall Street fight. Terminator 2. Judgment Day of the Dead Men. Walking Tall. The President's Men in Black Fissure. King Ralph. Dog Day Afternoon. Delight. Sleep Perfect. Murder by Death Wish. Men in black, Fisher, King, Ralph, a dog day afternoon.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Delight, sleep perfect, murder by death wish. Three of me, ghost, world. At 420-ish. Let me see your name tags, Bloomington. My mom calls it Bloomies. Oh, you stepped up. They're all big and they light up. Can't even see ones in the back because you guys up front have huge name tags.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Chasing Mavericks name tag. Is your name Maverick? Wow. Your first name is Maverick? That is fucking crazy. Did your parents, like, fuck while they were watching Top Gun? Colin's back from yesterday. Good to see you, Colin.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Excalibethany in two swords. Excalibeth. Yeah, instead of Excalibur. I get it, kind of. Noah holds bard. That's a good one. Right up front. what does that say for forgetting sarah marshall but you put took out the h because you're in s-a-r-a sarah all right empire strikes back what's what oh zach nern is here everybody yeah yes uh emma da. I like that. That's cute. And Blinken, which is Lincoln with a Bane mask on.
Starting point is 00:02:51 That's a fucking scary image. Show the rest of the audience that. Freak everybody out. Four score and seven shadows of darkness. All right. Well, thank you guys. Rachel loves Bloomies. Thank you guys for bringing all those name tags and for filling up this club
Starting point is 00:03:12 on a nice, warm Saturday, Sunday. Let's call it Sunday, you guys. Sunday afternoon. I got into Bloomington on Friday and have been having a great time. Thanks to the blue beard down the street here for letting me in to see Shooter Jennings on Friday night. Let's do a quick watch this, not that.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Let me ask the guy with the Blinken poster, what's a movie that you enjoy? Nightmare Before Christmas. Nightmare Before Christmas. All right. It begins with nightmare? Is it a nightmare? It's just nightmare, right? Okay, you know how I like exact titles.
Starting point is 00:03:50 It's my thing. Nirn, what do you got, buddy? Greatest movie ever rolled. Greatest movie ever rolled. Watched the greatest movie ever rolled, currently streaming on Netflix. Not that other thing I'm not even going to mention again, because why even confuse people?
Starting point is 00:04:05 This has been watched. Greatest movie ever rolled. Not anything else. Thank you, Nern. Really, what was your movie? I forgot already. Oh, I do like Nightmare Before Christmas. It is good. Possibly my favorite
Starting point is 00:04:23 Tim Burton movie, and don't call the corrections department about it's not a Tim Burton movie, because it is. Los Angeles, I'm interrupting Noah on Thursday. Noah holds Bard on Thursday night, June 12th at Cinefamily. Kansas City, Missouri,
Starting point is 00:04:39 I'm interrupting Whip It, Whip It Good on Saturday, June 14th at the Alamo Draft House. Everybody let me know what movie you'd like to see me interrupt by reaching out on Twitter and telling me what city you live in, where the cool theater is in town. Hashtag movie interruption. Oh, and I'll be interrupting Revenge of the Nerds with cast members from two guys from the movie at the Trocadero in Philadelphia on June 19th. Let's get into the prize bag, you guys.
Starting point is 00:05:07 Our friends here at the Comedy Attic gave us a koozie, a t-shirt, and a hoodie that'll say Comedy Attic on them. I've got a, yeah, I've got a XXL Douglas Movie shirt, a Getting Doug with High mug. Yeah, that's a very... People are very excited about that prize. A little less exciting, a sippy cup that I got when I saw Bullets Over Broadway
Starting point is 00:05:33 on Broadway. I recommend it, by the way. I enjoyed it very much. There's that koozie that I mentioned. And also from our friends at Baked here in town. Do you guys go to Baked and fuck up some cookies? Yeah, they gave us a T-shirt. And then also, maybe I'll show it to you when the other guests get out here,
Starting point is 00:05:53 but my arms are so full right now with all this goodness. There's a gift card from iTunes and a copy of Gateway, Doug. And then also one of my friends from Star Wars Minute, Alex. Alex Robinson wrote a comic, a book here called Too Cool to be Forgotten. That's in the bag. All this stuff is in the bag, but also I think
Starting point is 00:06:16 we've got one more prize coming to the stage. Please give a big warm welcome to three fellas that are in town right now. Because I wanted them to be. Let's hear it for Ron Funches, Jonah Ray, and the owner of this establishment, Jared Thompson, everybody.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Thank you. Hello. This is going to be fun. Yeah, these chairs are high. So are you. Yeah, just like two of us. Here, Ron. Ron Funch is first time ever on Douglas Movies everybody So he gets
Starting point is 00:07:06 He gets a tiny card That tries to explain how to play the Leonard Maltin game And also Ron I want you to have Some of this Humboldt hemp wick So you can light your bowls without Using butane or lacing up your Hippie shoes
Starting point is 00:07:22 These would be so bad as shoelaces. But I'm also putting one of those in the prize bag. And Jonah Ray is here, everybody. Oh! Hello, Cutters! Now, he's not yelling that out to offend people that are worried about their teenage
Starting point is 00:07:44 daughters. Not everyone here is sad? It's a local reference. It's a reference to the motion picture Breaking Away. And Jonah loves it, so I'm excited that I was able to bring him here to Bloomington. Yeah, it's a dream come true. I really expected a bigger response when I called you cutters. But no, just continue to clap.
Starting point is 00:08:01 It's a word that this whole weekend I've only heard it being said by you or me. Like, it's not something they walk around saying here anymore. Come on. When my friends visit Los Angeles, they go, assholes. It's the same thing. It is the same thing. And let's have a round of applause for the owner of this great comedy club, The Comedy Addict. Jared Thompson's here, everybody.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Do you have a Twitter account? Yes Your own personal one? I do What's your personal one? It's at JaredDBThompson No it isn't
Starting point is 00:08:34 It is Why? Wait I think that's right Melinda is that right? Wait you have to double check your own I think it is Does the DB stand for double check?
Starting point is 00:08:45 That was great. What my Twitter is? I like how you have to check with somebody for your personal account. Yeah, I have a personal account. Are you a guy with two middle names? Is that what the DB... No, oh boy.
Starting point is 00:08:58 You like the band, the DBs? It's actually... It was in reference to my friend Aaron Boer, who you know, Doug, who has two last names. So I put her two last names in the middle of mine. She made me get a Twitter account. This was years ago. This is very exciting. So interesting.
Starting point is 00:09:17 I want everybody here today and everyone listening to just bomb the shit out of that account. And only question the name. Yeah, yeah. Just write Joe and say, what is with your fucking name? You know you can change it, right? What does the DB stand for? I do now, Jonah.
Starting point is 00:09:36 I do now. But yeah, thank you for having us here to this club. It's rare. I'd say maybe once before it's happened that somebody that owns a place gets to be a guest on the show. And you've done this once before, right? Three, this is my third time. Third time, third appearance.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Well, like one memorable time. Right, well, that's true. It was the Girls' Man episode. Oh, okay, with Jeff Tate. Did you ever win the Leonard Maltin game? I did, and then you cheated me out of the second one. Okay. All right, well, we Jeff Tate. Did you ever win the Leonard Maltin game? I did, and then you cheated me out of the second one. Okay, all right. We can settle some scores today, Jerry.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Okay, all right. It's cool. It's all good. And you had the Limestone Festival last week. Yes, it was fantastic. Huge success, as always. Two great years. And the plan is to do it again next year, and you already know when, right?
Starting point is 00:10:26 Yes, it's June 4th through 6th. All right, and so, schedule's permitting, because he may move the date on me or something. I've got it in my calendar. I'm going to come back and possibly do a couple different podcasts or stand-up or whatever,
Starting point is 00:10:39 but also, what I promised last year and did not come through with this year, next year, we will interrupt Hoosiers at the beautiful Buskirk Chumlee Theater here in the great state of Indiana. Hoosiers is such a great movie. I don't want to sound like we're going to fuck up Hoosiers.
Starting point is 00:11:03 We're going to show Hoosiers a thing or two. Finally take that down, that golden goose. But it just seems like a fun thing to watch while we're here. Because watching Breaking Away here last year was so much fun. And tell everybody what you did today, Jonah. I went to the quarry. I went to the one from the movie. Chip Smith, you said it wasn't?
Starting point is 00:11:26 Chip Hall took me, and it was very nice. We tried... Hang on, hang on. His Twitter handle, if you need it, is ChipDBHall. But we parked at a church, and then kind of veered like we were going to the church, and then walked away, which is something I did in my life anyway.
Starting point is 00:11:44 And then, yeah we like we found it there was like three old good old boys on atvs it was perfect and then like i was scared of them i was really scared of them because i'm like i i'm i'm not used to like all white people so like when i saw like three guys just drinking beers on atvs i was like should we avoid them and he's like no no i got this he's like how y'all doing they're like good and he's like you have a good and they're like you too be safe i was like that's all you have to do be polite to midwesterners and then they you can pass and then we went and you know what i fucking found i was like what did you find so so the part you know the part that they lay out on, and yes, I took a picture of me,
Starting point is 00:12:25 splayed out just like Dennis Quaid in his short shorts. I went down and I saw a rusted out door to a refrigerator. No, you didn't. I did. I took a picture of it. Was Indiana Jones in that refrigerator? And then I wanted to get a picture of a different angle of me on the rock that they lean on and so I had to go back
Starting point is 00:12:49 down and when I went back down I slipped really hard and fell and landed on the corner of a rock with my hand which is starting to get a little discolored but like it hurts real bad no but here's the craziest part I slipped real hard and then I was like Whoa. Yeah. It hurts real bad.
Starting point is 00:13:07 No, but here's the craziest part. I slipped real hard. Are you okay? I was leaning back. I was leaning back on the rock. I almost fell down, but my foot was between two rocks. If I fell anymore, I would have probably twisted my foot. All in all, it was a great day. It was a great day.
Starting point is 00:13:23 Now I'm going to go home. For the record, his hand looks completely normal. Yeah, it does. In this light, you can't really see it. Nope. You know what? I'm gonna... In two days, when this thing gets all fucked up, I'm gonna
Starting point is 00:13:37 take a picture and I'm gonna make all of you retweet it. Speaking of things that are fucked up, Jared has the house and balloons from Up on his arm. What did you bring for the prize bag, Jonah? What did I... I'm sorry. What'd you say? I didn't hear you. What'd you say? I just... It was weird that I heard the word Up
Starting point is 00:13:58 and I was looking at your arm at the same time. I had to draw the connection, but I shouldn't have used the F word in there because it's a film for families families it's a film for families that need to learn about death and how it's gonna happen to everyone yeah no matter how in love you are Jonah what do you what'd you bring for the prize bag for the prize bag I brought this is a like a probably a three-year-old poster from the meltdown which is a show that Kumail Nanjiani and I do in Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:14:26 That's actually going to be a television show on Comedy Central starting July 23rd, Wednesday nights. Every week we have this amazing artist, Dave Klock, do a new poster and he screen prints it. And this is one from a long time ago. It's a multi-headed beast dragon of some sort. And the heads of the dragon are me, Kumail, Matt Besser, Sean Patton, and Patton Oswalt. And then me, Doug, and Ron autographed it.
Starting point is 00:14:51 So this is like a one-of-a-kind. He just does like 20 of these, and then he destroys the screen, which I think is odd to do. But yeah, so this is from the prize package that I'm giving. All right, that's going in the prize bag, you guys. The K-Man. For folks that live in Bloomington that may not know what Meltdown is, I just want to let everyone know
Starting point is 00:15:12 that people ask me all the time how we come up with who we book, and I go to the Meltdown website, basically. You just steal all the acts that play there? Well, I'm just saying, it's the single best comedy show in the world, just so you know, John. Thank you. That's the single best comedy show in the world, just so you know. Thank you. That's all due thanks to Emily V. Gordon, the co-host of the Indoor Kids and the producer of the Meltdown show.
Starting point is 00:15:33 And Kumail Nanjiani's wife. Nanjiani. He likes to party. All right. Welcome back to Doug Loves Names. Let's just say as many as we can. DP! Ron and I are going to finally,
Starting point is 00:15:50 because people have been begging for it on Twitter for some reason. I don't know why. I think it's because we're both stoners and have a good time. They've been begging for us to appear together on At Midnight. It's finally going to happen on June 22nd. By appearing together at midnight, I mean we're just going to be in a bar later at midnight. At midnight at Comedy Central.
Starting point is 00:16:12 And the third competitor along with us is our good friend Nikki Glaser. Yeah. So that's for the 100th episode of that show. So we're quite honored to be doing that. Right, Ron? It's going to be quite a trial for me. Points! Do you ever say anything
Starting point is 00:16:30 that doesn't get a laugh? Sometimes he doesn't even have to say anything. Yeah, he just giggles. Check this out, Ron. The good folks at Baked gave me this fucking cookie. Yeah, and then put a nice drawing of me
Starting point is 00:16:45 hitting a J up in the top. Like, almost to remind me, this is what you're gonna need after this. And they had to assure you a few times about that cookie. They had to assure me a few times there was no weed in the cookie, but there's weed all on top of the cookie. I mean, you know, pretend
Starting point is 00:17:01 weed, because it's icing. That's weed for me. It's cookie icing. But I, as you guys you know, pretend weed because it's icing. That's weed for me. It's cookie icing. But as you guys may know, I decided to quit sugar and I'm doing pretty good with it. So I'm going to give this away today to whoever wins the prize bag.
Starting point is 00:17:18 We'll get this delicious cookie from Baked. What's their Twitter handle, Jared? Jared, give them that Twitter handle. Give it to them, Jared. And go. I think actually maybe it's Baked of B-Town. I hope that's right. I think you might be right.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Does anybody know? I know theirs and not mine. I think it's Baked of Bloomington. Baked of Bloomington? I thought they said B-Town. Crystal Sullivan knows everything, so there you go. They have a different name on Twitter and Facebook, so figure it out, you guys.
Starting point is 00:17:43 Baked DB of Bloomington. Whoa. I could feel that from here. Speaking of sugar, can I get another vodka? Facebook, so figure it out, you guys. Baked DB of Bloomington. Whoa! I can feel that from here. Speaking of sugar, can I get another vodka soda? Yeah, me too, please. Kettle soda for me, and if you can find a smaller glass. I keep rubbing this one,
Starting point is 00:18:00 hoping it'll get bigger. Doug, like, the most thing Doug's talked about this weekend is how much he loves these little glasses. Even, like, today in the back, he's like, he got the glasses, he's like, I love these! He's so into them. Yeah, because it's just like, you know, it slows you down.
Starting point is 00:18:16 You know, you can't drink as much. Because now it's tiny and it's empty and I gotta wait for another one. Not gotta wait, the service here's great. That wasn't my point. And also, I wanted to mention on the podcast
Starting point is 00:18:31 and to everybody here that as you're leaving today, you will get two free tickets to come back to this club to see Douglas Movie's regular Graham Elwood. He promises to do a lot of whistling.
Starting point is 00:18:44 All the things you love from his podcast appearances. Everybody will get two free tickets to come back. That's right. Right, Jared? That's right. And also Dan St. Germain the week after. They can come to both weekends. Oh, wow. Dan D.B. Germain! That is quite a
Starting point is 00:18:59 deal. I gotta ask everybody if you've seen any movies lately. Have you been to the movies lately, Ron? I have. It's like you prepared for this show. I saw X-Men. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:16 Days of Future Past? Yeah, that one. I love that. It was pretty good. I liked it. But I didn't know Kitty Pryde had those powers ever, so it was weird to me. know Kitty Pryde had those powers ever, so it was weird to me. I don't think she had those powers
Starting point is 00:19:28 from what I was aware of previously. They just gave them to her for this movie? They gave her powers for the movie. I didn't like that because she was already one of my favorite characters. I named my cat after her as a teenager. What did you call the cat when it grew up? I let it choose its own name.
Starting point is 00:19:54 They found smaller glasses! They fucking did it! This is like, now we're having shot cocktails. Come on down to the comedy attic for their famous shot tales. Mmm, I'm barely drunk. Come on down to the comedy attic for their famous shot tales. Get drunk, we dare you. I'm barely drunk. Jonah, what have you seen lately? Well, I saw that X-Men.
Starting point is 00:20:18 I fucking loved it. Yeah, but doesn't it, is it just me? Or does it, like the rest of the movie, you're like, oh, I'd like more of that Quicksilver scene where he ran around. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, that was amazing. Shouldn't the cassette tape been playing slow, too?
Starting point is 00:20:34 If he's the only one going fast, then why does the cassette tape play at the same speed as him, though everything else is, yeah, I don't know why. I think that's just for us. I think that's just for us because we wouldn't be able to handle it. Because it's a movie that we're watching. So sometimes movies have music
Starting point is 00:20:56 over scenes. Yeah. When they're going in slow in The Matrix, the music's still going pretty fast too. But they didn't set it up to where it was like actual music that I was playing. He puts on his headphones and then he starts to play the music. I don't know why that upset me.
Starting point is 00:21:10 But I love the movie a lot. I also finally watched Nights of Bad Astem. Oh, that's interesting. It's a Joe Lynch movie. With Peter Dinklage? Peter Dinklage, Steve Zahn. I'll watch anything
Starting point is 00:21:20 with Steve Zahn in it. I fucking love that Zahn. Yeah, you just come home every night and go, honey, what's Zahn in it. I fucking love that Zahn. Yeah, you just come home every night and go, honey, what's Zahn? Hell yeah. But yeah, it's a weird story with that movie where it was kind of taken away from the director and it turns out a lot
Starting point is 00:21:39 of the funding was a Ponzi scheme of some sort. It's like he was told he had the budget of a much larger movie, and then a week before shooting, they said, you have half that. And then afterwards, he was looking at the numbers, and he made a movie for under a million dollars when he thought he was making one for five million dollars. So it's a real interesting story, and they did a lot of good stuff. There's a lot of great jokes and a lot of good performances.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Joe's been on the show. I should have him on to talk about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you should. And I put a lot of money into leather jackets and I'll never invest in a Fonzie scheme again as long as I leave. Ponzie.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Ponzie scheme. No, that reminded me of the Fonzie scheme that I was a part of. I just listen for certain keywords and then say jokes I have that fit them. What have you seen, Jared? Oh, I saw that X-Men Days of Future Past as well. Did any character disappoint you?
Starting point is 00:22:38 No, not at all. In fact, I hope that they do with Evan Peters' character what they did this time. I'm not making sense. But what I'm saying is the first movie, Jennifer Lawrence's character, there wasn't much of her. And then they gave her a big role now. And I think that you're right, that there's room for Quicksilver to be a big part of the next one. I think it would be great.
Starting point is 00:23:00 They should just make a Quicksilver movie. That's right. And it could star Kevin Bacon as a bike messenger. Because they already did that. I think at this point there's more good X-Men movies than bad X-Men movies. Does anyone else agree with that? I think Brett Ratner wouldn't agree. X-Men 3, fucking blue.
Starting point is 00:23:20 And then the first Wolverine, blue. But everything else than that has been pretty good. Yeah, I like second Wolverine. What was that one called? The Wolverine. The Wolverine. Wolverine goes Tokyo, I think. Racist. Goes to Tokyo, not
Starting point is 00:23:37 goes Tokyo. Wolverine goes bananas. If we are mentioning something old like he did, like Jonah did, I will say... Yeah, and we also need something borrowed and something Avatar. Thank you. Well, I, for the first time ever, saw William Friedkin's Sorcerer, which was fantastic. On the big screen? Well, no, it no. On your phone? That's how he intended it.
Starting point is 00:24:08 It was the first time on Blu-ray, I believe. First time on DVD or Blu-ray, I'm pretty sure. And it was absolutely fantastic. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. And really crazy, funny coincidence that you mentioned that. Oh, yeah? Yeah, because we're about to play a new thing. There's a person on Twitter named
Starting point is 00:24:25 Le Grinchikins. Le DB Grinchikins. Yeah, L-E-D-B Grinchikins. Who suggested that we play a round of Fuck, Marry, Kill. You know that game? Fuck, Marry, Kill? But with movies.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Yeah, which one would you fuck? Which one would you marry? And which one would you fuck? Which one would you marry? And which one would you kill? And I'm letting Le Grinchikins suggest the first three movies because it was his idea. And he suggested Sorcerer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:58 And Duel, which of course is a TV movie but I'll let it slide. And then Maximum Overdrive. Ah, trucks. Yeah, so we'll let it slide. And then Maximum Overdrive. Ah, trucks. Yeah, so we'll let you go first, Jared, since I think I have a good feeling you're not going to kill Sorcerer. No way. I would go
Starting point is 00:25:14 I would say fuck Sorcerer because it was fantastic. I would say marry Duel because it is nearly absolutely perfect in every way. Fantastic movie. Why don't you marry it? I would kill.
Starting point is 00:25:30 That duel is like a love letter to your wife, right? That's right. She's a truck on the loose after me for some reason. And then Maximum Overdrive, I would say kill because I've never seen it. That's an Estevez classic. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't know this would be controversial. Jonah, what are your picks?
Starting point is 00:25:51 Well, I want to... I'll marry Sorcerer because I want to get to know it better. I haven't seen it. Heard good things. So right now, it's like a girl that I want to get and have forever. I want to fuck Maximum Overdrive mostly because I want to fuck Emilio Estevez.
Starting point is 00:26:10 And I'll kill the other one. I don't give a shit. I don't fucking care. I really don't care. You killed Duel? Yeah, I don't care. I'd rather watch... Have you seen it?
Starting point is 00:26:22 Yeah, I've seen it. It's boring. It's boring. A boring A flustered sweaty man in a truck That looks like my dad The driver Dennis Weaver looks like my dad
Starting point is 00:26:31 So see there's other things making you like that movie Your dad issues Ron where are you at with this? I'm gonna fuck Sorcerer cause I always wanted to fuck a Sorcerer You know that's not how you get their powers I'm gonna fuck sorcerer because I always wanted to fuck a sorcerer.
Starting point is 00:26:49 You know that's not how you get their powers. Yeah, like magic isn't an STD. You don't know that, Jonah. I want to marry Maximum Overdrive because that's just fun to say. And I want to kill Duel because I haven't seen any of these movies. Well, Grinchikins won't get to decide in the future if I do this again. I'll get to pick. But I'd fuck Duel because I have known it
Starting point is 00:27:25 for a long time. You know how that is. You're around somebody long enough they go pretty attractive to you. Might as well. You want to get in there.
Starting point is 00:27:35 And then I'd marry Sorcerer because it's just an amazing movie. And unfortunately, you guys, I'd kill Maximum Overdrive. What do you want of the trucks?
Starting point is 00:27:49 You know what I'd do? I would fuck kill it. I would fuck it until it's dead. The only movie directed by Stephen King, correct? Yeah. Yeah. See why? Learned his lesson.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Yeah. And do you remember his coked up promos for that? It's like, finally, me, Stephen King, directing what I think my vision for a movie should be, and then he just eats it. It's like, everyone's like, well, this is going to be neat. The guy who wrote the original
Starting point is 00:28:17 source material is going to be the one to show us it in moving pictures, and then he just fucked it up. And he's never done it again. But he likes the Red Sox so he can go fuck himself. Alright Jonah, thank you for all of that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:36 They're on YouTube. It needed to be said. And this also needs to be said. Let the games begin! Gentlemen, pick your name tags. There's lots of good ones. Does anyone have a name tag attached to a tiny glass of vodka soda? Yeah, we could use a couple more up here.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Those little tiny ones were hilarious, but we're thirsty men. It's hard to see these. Oh, there's another Noah over there. Oh, what are you doing, Jonah? I can't see past the... Can we take the... Come? Why is there a young lady yelling come at us? Well, have someone that...
Starting point is 00:29:23 You don't have someone working that knows how to turn the lights on? Jared has to go turn the lights on. That's great. There we go. Who is that doll that you're holding up? He has no idea. It's just a doll he found. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Found it in the gutter. I bet your daughter's really pissed off right now. Let's see here. Oh, we can't see any of them back there. It's so dark back there. Sorry about that. Oh, I like this Terminator 2 judgment, Dave, because he's got my face instead of Arnold's,
Starting point is 00:29:52 and I'm pretending to smoke a joint. Look at these assholes with candy on their things, thinking that, don't you know he's off sugar? I don't get a pick, Jonah. It's up to you. I know. I don't want to bring it up here.
Starting point is 00:30:05 Go grab the name tag you guys want to play for. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Okay. Hey, everybody. There's no ad or sponsor in this particular episode. I just wanted to take a second to say thank you for listening. And be sure to check out my new stand-up comedy CD recording that was made in Portland, Oregon on April 20th of this year. It's called
Starting point is 00:30:30 Gateway Doug 2 colon forced fun, and it's available on July 8th. Thank you. Enjoy the rest of the show. And we're back back And so is the alcohol Here you go Jonah Oh they got the bigger cup Thank you Douglas Who are you playing for Jared? Well Alec too I've seen this one on Twitter I think
Starting point is 00:30:56 Or yesterday Did I sign it? Yes you did Well then I saw it yesterday in person Yeah And well who is it? I guess He's either Alec.
Starting point is 00:31:05 I'm assuming he's Alec Toombs. Is that right? Yep. It's Tombstone, T-O-O-M-B Stone. Because his last name is Toombs. But he has on a Jaws shirt, so I picked him. Because you also have a Jaws shirt on. I do.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Mine's better, but I picked him anyway. You guys are shirt married. That's right. Jonah, who are you playing for? And don't read the shithead on the back of your... I can see it, Jonah, that you have a shithead on the back. Don't read that out loud. I won't.
Starting point is 00:31:32 I'll just say what's on the front. I've been here before. Oh, you'd be surprised. Yeah. How often people come and still read it right out loud. I was going to, so I'm glad you said it. It was more like I was just telling you to let Ron know. But I have no reason to yell at Ron.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Noah Holds Barred. Noah Holds Barred is now on Netflix, and I've watched it two times since it's come on. Love that rip. Hulkster in Heaven. You really watched it twice? Should we interrupt it sometime? Yes, you should. That'd be fun, right?
Starting point is 00:32:09 Yeah, that's a good idea. Okay. We'll do that. That'll be great. It's been decided. It'll be in Los Angeles. See you there. No, we'll do Hoosiers next year,
Starting point is 00:32:22 and then the year after that, we'll do No Holds Barred. That famous movie from the... You know, Jonah, I don't like the way you just talked to my customer. I think you should have to fly him out for that.
Starting point is 00:32:31 I can. I got money. Yay. Bing money, motherfucker. Not to get too far ahead of ourselves, Jared, but I did just decide that the next movie
Starting point is 00:32:43 we should do after Hoosiers is an Indiana Jones movie because we're in Indiana. I get it. Alright, Ron, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Trev Formers, Age of Extinction. I feel like I should say the whole name.
Starting point is 00:32:56 And I like it because it's got a picture of TJ on it. Yeah, TJ Biller's face is huge in the middle of it. That's what TJ sees when he looks at any ad for the movie. The trailer for the new Transformers, you see TJ a couple of times, and Mark Wahlberg speaks to him, but he doesn't say anything.
Starting point is 00:33:17 But you know that when you're watching the actual movie, he's going to say some nutty shit. Yeah, exactly. Oh, there's Transformers! Yeah! I hope they don't attack Denver! Hey, I... All right, let's...
Starting point is 00:33:39 Let's move this along. We're going to start with a game that I like to call How Much Did This Shit Make? And the idea – thank you, one person. They're just laughing at the word shit. The idea of it is that, you know, I'm going to name a movie, and then you guys all guess how much it made at the domestic box office over its entire run.
Starting point is 00:34:06 And in honor of the Tony Awards tonight, which I'm very excited about, how much money did that shitty shit musical, Rock of Ages, also in honor of Tom Cruise being in an awesome movie that opened this weekend that's not doing that great, but it's actually an awesome movie. I saw Edge of Tomorrow Today.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Who are the guys? Wait, what? You heard me. Edge of Tomorrow Today. Where are you? I saw these guys in the parking lot. Yeah. Did you guys have any weed? Okay, that's why you didn't offer any. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:34:48 They're like walking over to a truck.'m like waiting for you hey do you want to smoke a quick one didn't happen but you guys are nice did you see that movie too and you liked it yeah yeah it's good doug lyman's a great director i think yeah okay so uh according to box office mojo.com uh in millions, without going over, Price is Right style. Jared, how much do you think it made? I'm going to go $54 million. Good. Good job. Jonah?
Starting point is 00:35:22 I think it has, it's domestic box office it has old school appeal I'm going to say it made 80 million dollars wait were you concerned about whether it was international and like
Starting point is 00:35:32 that they fucking would go aim shit for that movie in other countries yeah because it's music and that's the universal language and it's Tom Cruise unfortunately action and you know
Starting point is 00:35:44 and also things from you also things from pop culture, those do great overseas. I don't think Rock of Ages did well overseas, but that's not what we're talking about. I was just trying to... So you're saying $80? Yeah, $80 million for close personal friend Tom Cruise's movie, Rock of Ages.
Starting point is 00:36:00 That's right. Check out... Well, it's already... Nerdist is number one right now on the charts because Tom Cruise is on the most recent episode. What's the most interesting thing, you know, not that I want people to not listen to it, but like what's one thing that you thought was really interesting about Tom Cruise? That he saw, he saw Shaun of the Dead and he wanted Simon Pegg to be in Mission Impossible. I thought that was incredible.
Starting point is 00:36:27 The fact that you just imagine Tom Cruise watching Shaun of the Dead, laughing, clapping, tossing his head back. Which he did many times during the podcast. Just me and Matt Meyer going, He's like, to me, I've met him a couple times and he's like to me he's like a politician like a life politician like he wants everybody to like him and there's no reason not to yeah uh ron what do you think i'm gonna say uh 45 million dollars all right i don't this doesn't happen very often but uh swing and a miss, fellas.
Starting point is 00:37:06 All three of you were over. It only got to $38.5 million. Oh. Yeah, it was a pretty big bomb, and rightfully so. They should have cast Chris Hardwick as Stacey Jacks. Yeah, that is the weirdest thing to me, that Chris Hardwick originated the role that eventually played by Tom Cruise. And when Tom Cruise played it, though, he was smart and added a monkey that sits around and hangs out next to him.
Starting point is 00:37:34 That's true. Yeah, Chris didn't have a monkey. No, he didn't have one. Chris had decided to get by on his singing ability, which is quite powerful. Of course, Chris Hardwick, for those I get asked every once in a while, Chris Hardwick and his partner Mike Furman, Hard and Firm, they wrote and performed the theme song to this very podcast. Yeah, good for them. Tom Cruise is doing a new version of it. That would be so weird.
Starting point is 00:38:00 so weird. All right, Jonah. We'll start with Jared again because I think Jared knows how to play this game. This is one of the trickier games that we play on this show and the last time I played it, it laid a fucking fart that ruined the town of Boston for the rest of the weekend.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Is that about Matt Myra's part? Matt Myra, Rory Scoville, and Kenneth Reed could not fucking add anything to the first title I gave them. It was just a mess. But, you know, that's going to happen sometimes. We'll see what happens this time. Ron doesn't have any idea what's happening.
Starting point is 00:38:43 I'm very scared right now. Yeah, you look so frightened. I'm just worried you're going to beat me at midnight, so I'm trying to humiliate you in my own game. All right, Jared. The first title in this build-a-title is a motion picture we've already
Starting point is 00:39:01 discussed called Breaking Away. So you need to come up with something that ends in breaking or begins with away. Or parts of those words. If you know what I'm saying. Ends in break or begins with way. Point breaking away.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Yes, you did it. You did it. You stepped right into my trap. Because I always try to, I always make sure there's something that you can add to it. So now, Jonah, you have to, something that ends in point
Starting point is 00:39:35 or begins with away or way. Point breaking away's world. That's pretty fancy. I'm pretty proud of myself. Ron, we drop out the A's and the the's at the beginning of the sentences because they just get in the way in this game. So we've got point breaking a Wayne's world. So you just need something that begins with world or ends with point.
Starting point is 00:40:06 Oh, I got it. What do you got? Point breaking away-ns world. World War Z. Yeah. That might be a stopper on that end. Jared, can you think of anything that begins with Z? There's a movie called
Starting point is 00:40:29 Z and that does not count. Oh, why? Because you just said it? No, because it's not adding. It's not building. That's how building works. You have to add something. You can't just sit there and polish the same shirt. I feel like you guys are going to have a fist fight here in a second. No, we're just friends. Everything okay? We're friends. Yeah, that's what happens when you're friends.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Yeah, absolute disrespect. What do you think, Jared? Do you have anything that ends in point? Well, sure. I'd like to do the other side, but it can't be something that simply starts with Z. That's what you're going to tell me if I do that. Yeah, you can't just go Zardoz. Sure, I'll just say Match Point Breaking Away Worlds of World Z.
Starting point is 00:41:14 Yes. I didn't smoke pot. There's no penalty for not being able to say the full title. I'm just happy. This is like the longest it's gone in a while. It feels triumphant. Jonah, can you do anything with that? Can you do something that ends in match
Starting point is 00:41:29 and you can't say smash or begins with Z? Even if it... Even if it sounds exactly like it should with the Z? You can try it. The judges are very strict. Match point breaking a
Starting point is 00:41:53 Wayne's World War Zero effect. Okay. Okay. I told you the judges were strict, but when they give it to you, they just go okay. Okay. I told you the judges restrict, but when they give it to you, they just go, okay.
Starting point is 00:42:11 That's what I want Hardwick to say on At Midnight Now. Instead of points, just go, okay. All right, sugar. I just imagined that. What a world. Run, look. Oh. He gives you a slice of pie every time you run around. Don't eat too much now.
Starting point is 00:42:52 We got a hashtag war on commerce. Pace yourself. Okay. So, you need something, Ron, that begins with 30 or ends with match. It begins with what? 30. What? What is your title?
Starting point is 00:43:21 Zero Effect. Oh, sorry. Oh, you thinking Zero Dark Thirty? Yeah. You said it. I just thought of the other Zero Effect. Oh, sorry. Oh, you thinking Zero Dark Thirty? Yeah. You said it. I just thought of the other Zero movie. Yeah, yeah. Zero Effect with Jack Daniels and...
Starting point is 00:43:30 Yeah, that's tougher maybe. Ben Stiller. Yeah. Effect. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. Or ends in match. So we might have come to the end of the road here.
Starting point is 00:43:42 I was stalling with that other stuff I was saying about Hollywood. I got nothing. It's a good technique. Yeah, that's a tough one. Do either of you guys have anything? Let's go to Jared, see if he has anything to add. Sorry, there has to be a movie that starts with effect, but God damn it if I can't think of it.
Starting point is 00:44:02 And then, yeah, I don't know. Why does there have to be a movie that starts with effect? That'd be a weird movie to start with, unless it was like affecting Henry or something like that. Yeah. You got anything? I don't. Effect.
Starting point is 00:44:15 I got something. You do? Yeah. All right, so. I mean, you already win this round. Well, I might as well put Jerry on top. Yeah, go ahead, Sam Levine. You're not this round. Well, I might as well put Jerry on top. Yeah. Go ahead, Sam Levine. I've never been so...
Starting point is 00:44:33 Team Sam. Hashtag Team Sam. I've never been so insulted in my life. Well, when Ron was stalling, I could have called him Graham. They both have their techniques. All right. But go ahead. So Match Point Breaking Wayne's World War Zero FX2.
Starting point is 00:44:55 FX2. Brian Dennehy. Yeah. There was a movie called FX2, but I would not have accepted that. But you're already the winner anyway. But FX is special FX. No, I get it. You don't have to fight for this.
Starting point is 00:45:09 You won. Yeah, but it made sense, and that's more important for you to understand that. It's not that I don't like cherries. Let's play another game. I like that, because even though he won, it felt like he lost. Ron, always leave them wanting less. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:45:41 You're right. You're right. So, Jonah, where was the person you pointed out that said they were up on stage yesterday? Oh, Colin. Colin. And Colin, you did not win yesterday. That's true. So, I mean, this isn't that much of a consolation prize.
Starting point is 00:46:01 But right now we're going to play, and Jonah's going to go first and then, who fell out first on that last one? You guys probably at the same time, right? All right,
Starting point is 00:46:10 and we'll go to Jared and then to Ron. But this is an easy one, Ron. Not easy. It's hard to play, but easy to understand. Cool. We're going to play
Starting point is 00:46:19 Last Man Stanton and that's a game that's not only way more popular than How Much Did This Shit Make? It's also a game where we not only way more popular than how much did this shit make, it's also a game where we take one name from our friend Colin over there, and it's got to be an actor or actress. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Jared told me before the show that I had the best microphone. We need an actor, actress, or filmmaker, like a director that has a large body of work, and then we're going to take turns, and I'll play too, and we're going to name movies that that person did until we run out. And it's always embarrassing
Starting point is 00:46:55 how much we can't think of under pressure. Who would you like us to play with today, Colin? Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman! Alright, I'll just say right now Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is off the table It hasn't come out yet Let's just get it out of the way
Starting point is 00:47:13 But that movie, he looks like I think he's going to have a great part in that movie Gary Oldman So I start? Yes In reference to the winner from yesterday's game I will say True Romance. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:29 Points, sugar. All right. That's a good response. I haven't released that on the Douglas Minis yet, so good spoiler there, Jonah. Oh. We'll see. They might come out around the same time.
Starting point is 00:47:41 I don't know what's going to happen. All right. So True Romance is your answer. He don't know what's going to happen. All right, so true romance is your answer. He was crazy in that. He was great. Yeah, with the fucking dreads and the weird eye. All right, Jared? I'll go Sid and Nancy.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Whoa! Thank you. That's like, that would be so weird if there was like a roller coaster called Sid and Nancy. It doesn't end well. Yeah, their lives are... Okay, Ron? Oh, wait, I'm sorry. It's my turn. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:22 I'll go with The Dark Knight Rises. Okay, now it's your turn. Now I know who he is. I gotta say, I don't know movies. Most general entertainment. They're like video games you can't play. Well, then that's fucked up. And I'm not into that.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Movies keep you at arm's length. Was he in Fargo? I'm just guessing. Yes, that is correct. What? Jonah, it's your turn. I want to see how long I can keep that gag going for. I'll go with it.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Batman Begins. Clever Thank you Jared The Dark Knight Yes I'm gonna go with Fifth Element Fuck
Starting point is 00:49:39 Sister Act 2 Correct Jonah Oh come on That doesn't even give me time to think Okay He's He's British He plays a lot of Americans I just thought of a movie where he plays four parts Fuck
Starting point is 00:50:17 Is he Is he Is he in Cloud Atlas? No, you're out. No, no, no, no. So we just have Ron and Jared and I are still in. A Samsung commercial. It was just an aside.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Jared, what do you got? Oh, man. It's a Kevin Bacon movie with murder in the title. Okay. And I'm not sure that he's in it, and that's my guess. I think he just looks like Gary Oldman. All right, you're out. You're thinking murder in the first.
Starting point is 00:50:55 Is he in it? Maybe. Christian Slater? What do you think? No. Yeah, I don't know if he's in it or not But I also don't care Cause he's not in Something called murder
Starting point is 00:51:08 That's Christian Slater I'm gonna go with That movie I just suggested Where he plays four parts Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy Ah I never saw that You haven't? Ah that's really good
Starting point is 00:51:21 Very good yeah It's confusing but good What with the same guy playing four parts. It's going to be pretty confusing. Unless they make him look different, I guess. All right, Ron. Space Jam. Yes, yes, yes, correct.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Okay. I'm going to go with tippy toes. Oh, shit. That was the start of the reconnaissance. Got any more Ron? Yeah Jumanji I can't think of another one Ron wins And I just want to say to the listeners that the corrections department is closed for the summer.
Starting point is 00:52:35 He's got a real diverse body of work. All right, yell out the ones we missed. One at a time. Book of Eli. Book of Eli. Oh, the professional. I can't believe it. He's so great in the professional.
Starting point is 00:52:58 Someone said Mortal Kombat? Harry Potter. We heard Harry Potter. Lots of Harry Potter. Harry Potter! Harry fucking Potter! It's like every nerd. I'm surprised that's not all we heard.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Everyone in unison. That's like a few years ago, somebody's walking down the street, hey, what's this line waiting for outside this theater so early? Harry Potter! How dare you? Also, when I say I want another drink, I'm not joking. Jesus, Alex, I told you to watch his I'm not joking I know Jesus Alex I told you to watch his fucking drinks
Starting point is 00:53:26 Where are you? Alex Whatever his name Jared is having such a hard time Running this club from the stage Jesus Christ See what happens when you don't parse out You know jobs
Starting point is 00:53:37 Well we just now proved it Now didn't we? Yeah we sure did He's probably still a little tired From striking that table Yes because now you're the only one Yeah, we sure did. He's probably still a little tired from striking that table. Yes, because now you're the only one that gets to put his drinks on something. Yeah, my drink seems so far away. That's true.
Starting point is 00:53:54 All right, so note for next time, Jared, we need something for them to put their I mean not a big table just like a my table's tiny I'm working it out he's dealing with it my favorite thing is when this episode will come out on Twitter. On Twitter.
Starting point is 00:54:28 On iTunes. This episode will come out and then someone will write to me on Twitter a name of a Gary Oldman movie. Yeah, I get it. When you're sitting at home, you can think of one Gary Oldman movie. That's good for you.
Starting point is 00:54:41 It's almost as if they have a supercomputer in their hand. Sorry to have bothered you, Alex. Yeah, sure. Also, I like how Alex just makes Doug serve me. Pass it down, dude. Used to sell hot dogs in a stadium. He used to sell hot dogs in a stadium. Black soda, gin and tonic.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Peanuts for some reason. Ron, do you want me to hand you your water? Have Doug do it. I totally would. Thank you. Do you want me to open it for you, Rod? Can you hold this, Doug? Sorry.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Yeah, see, I end up doing it anyway. See? And I end up doing it, and it's wrong. That's like the table of waters. I don't want it anymore. I'm sorry. How'd you get so drunk last night, Doug? Oh, I had 50 drinks. Cheers.
Starting point is 00:56:02 They go down so easy. Alright, so Ron gets to go first in the Leonard Moulton game. Yay. Followed by... Who came second? Who named a movie the latest in that last thing? Jonah did. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:56:21 I'm sorry. No, she's trying to help you, dude. Yeah, I know. You lash out at people who love you. I mean, I'd tell your wife. Yeah, no, just ask my wife. Just ask my wife. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:56:35 What is this for? I can't do anything right. Uh-oh. Okay, so Joan will be second and then Jared, but you get to pick the first category, Ron. Yay. And you get to choose between three options, and I'm going to find them now. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:56:54 At JakeSkywalker33 suggested Fargo Fuck Yourself, and that's movies that are based on TV shows, movies that were TV shows first. Or Yolo Virus, and that's movies that are based on TV shows. Movies that were TV shows first. Or Yolo Virus. And that's movies where an actor who played James Bond dies. Because it's the you only live once virus. And at 253 Coleman suggested Penny Dreadful. Which is not only a TV series, but it is also movies directed by Penny Marshall
Starting point is 00:57:27 that Leonard Maltin gave less than two stars. That's clever. Yeah, there's some clever people out there. Which one of those do you like, Ron? I want to go with Fargo, fuck yourself. Okay. That's a great show, by the way. Probably just so you could say it.
Starting point is 00:57:42 The Fargo show? That's a great show. It is great. Do you guys like it? You should watch it. It's really good. Yeah. Those who watch it like it.
Starting point is 00:57:49 Those who didn't, do not have an opinion. One and a half stars for this movie, Ron, from 1993. He says it's a big screen rehash of a TV series, but he calls that TV series corny. Yeah, he also says about this movie that the director doesn't know how to stage a gag. Yeah, that director can't like that criticism. And seven, 12 names are listed in the cast of this movie. How many would it take you to name it reading from the bottom up so I'm guessing that you'll say
Starting point is 00:58:29 might as well take them all 12 names that seems like that's a good idea I'm going to say 10 oh shit okay Ron says 10 names Jonah I think I can name this movie,
Starting point is 00:58:47 but I don't believe in myself. This gentleman does not believe in you either. No, that's just... It's a part of me walking away. From the description and the year, I think I can get this. Okay? So I'm going to say zero names. All right.
Starting point is 00:59:14 I'm tired of talking and thinking. What's Jared going to do with this information? I'm not going to go negative one, so go ahead and name it. All right, Jonah, tell us the name of this movie. The Brady B this movie. The Brady Bunch movie. Okay, first of all. And secondly, no.
Starting point is 00:59:39 It was called The Beverly Hillbillies. The Brady Bunch movie was... Did I not say The Beverly Hillbillies? That's so weird. The Brady Bunch movie actually got good I not say the Beverly Hills? That's so weird. The Brady Bunch movie actually got good reviews. Yeah. It was delightful. I didn't say... That's real weird, because in my head I knew it was...
Starting point is 00:59:54 That's weird. Jared's on the board with one point. Who was that you were playing for? The man in the Jaws shirt. But what was his name? I don't know. Alec Toombs. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Toombs. All right, Toomy. Toombs. You're one point away, Toomy, from getting all the prizes. It's a wonderful prize bag today. Ron, you get to start us off again. Okay. And then we'll go to Jared.
Starting point is 01:00:29 You get to bid between at Sherlock underscore Holmes. Oh. Yeah. I guess Sherlock Holmes was taken. They just threw that underscore in there, and they're home free. Holmes free. Holmes free. Yeah. I like to eat Holmes free. Holmes free. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:49 I like to eat Holmes free chicken. He suggested Harvey Cartel, and that's movies where Harvey Keitel does drugs. Only a very small group of people in the audience appreciated that one. At IUMOG, are you here today? There he is. Right here. Right here.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Oh boy, here we go. Flip the lotion in the basket. Did I say your Twitter name right? Yes. I-U-M-O-G-G suggested Who's Your Daddy? So I had to playG-G suggested Who's Your Daddy? So I had to play that one today, Who's Your Daddy?
Starting point is 01:01:28 And that's movies that have incest in them. Jesus Christ. And celebrating your birthday today, recent guest on Douglas' movies, Griffin Dunn, the actor Griffin Dunn. Do you know who that is, Ron? Nope. It's not bad if you don't.
Starting point is 01:01:48 Did you ever see American Werewolf in London? Yes. Yeah. He's the best friend who gets turned into a zombie and he picks up the little Mickey Mouse doll and goes, Hi, David. That's him. Anyway, so you're probably not going to pick that. No, probably not.
Starting point is 01:02:04 But which do you prefer, incest or... Go on. Which would you rather do, incest or drugs with Harvey Keitel? Can it be both? You had to choose. It might be both. One makes the other more fun, I can tell you that much. Sure, right.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Once you've had incest, then you're ready for drugs. It's the gateway. Which one of those? Quit laugh stalling. Which one of those? This was just for real laughter. Okay. I'm going to pick the incest one.
Starting point is 01:02:43 Okay. Okay. Okay. Another slice of pie. okay I'm gonna pick the incest one okay okay this movie that is incest in it is from 1994 Leonard gives it two and a half stars he says about this movie that it's I'll just say it he says it's just your average Black comedy That'd be a weird That'd be like a horrible review of a Charlie Perry movie. Your average black comedy. It's a black comedy.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Wait, wait. Is it dark or is it black? Soul flame. He says this is just your average black comedy about incest. And then he also says that it was a film festival sleeper and audience favorite. And he lists six names.
Starting point is 01:03:45 How many out of six do you think it would take you to figure out the name of this movie? He's a film festival sleeper and audience favorite. And he lists six names. Okay. How many out of six do you think it would take you to figure out the name of this movie? Five. All right. Joe. Ron Funches of Oats says five names. And you're next, Jared. I'm going to have you name that movie, Ron Funches.
Starting point is 01:04:05 Give me some names. Kitty Pryde. We've got to figure out some way to drag this show out. Oh, because you're pretty sure I'm going to lose this thing? I'm pretty sure Jared's going to get the point. Yeah, that's probably true. And then be the winner. I think I know the movie.
Starting point is 01:04:31 And then we still have... What if Jonah tells me the movie? Do you guys want to switch seats? Is that allowed? No, it's not allowed. But I think it would be funny. Your five names are Judette Jones.
Starting point is 01:04:50 Okay. She gets a slice of pie. Matthew Puckett. Mm-hmm. Carla Gallo. Oh, can't go wrong. Benjamin Hendrickson. Oh, Big Ben did it.
Starting point is 01:05:21 And Alberta Watson. Oh, okay, Bernie. All right, I'm going to give you 15 minutes. Okay. To think of your answer. Can I use my phone? Yeah, go ahead and jump on your internet device. And Jonah, you got any plugs?
Starting point is 01:05:45 Yeah, July 23 any plugs? Yeah. July 23rd, Wednesday night, 1230, the premiere of The Meltdown with Jonah Kumail, which is a TV show I was talking about earlier. It's on Wednesday nights, just like the live show that it's based on. Yeah. Every Wednesday in Los Angeles.
Starting point is 01:06:04 You could see it if you go to Meltdown Comics at around, what does it start, like 8.30? Yeah, 8.30 is when we start. Yeah, yeah. And then you could race home and watch Meltdown on Comedy Central later that night. Yeah, we got a lot of awesome people on. We got like Weird Al doing a performance of Dare to be Stupid,
Starting point is 01:06:19 which was a fucking crazy thing to happen to me. We got Jim Gaffigan. We got a lot of awesome people. Oh, really? Jim Gaffigan was on there? Uh-oh. What did he do on there? Did he interrupt my set and fuck with it the entire time?
Starting point is 01:06:34 He kind of just fucked with you the whole time. Yeah, the whole time. And that's all that's really in there. Yeah. Fucking Jim Gaffigan. See? You can see the behind-the-scenes drama, how it went down,
Starting point is 01:06:44 where Jim Gaffigan had no idea he was fucking over Doug. And then he was like, why? What'd I do? Bacon donuts. He didn't say, he doesn't just yell bacon donuts. Have you listened to the last album? Oh, well, he does.
Starting point is 01:06:57 But I'm saying, he talks about other things other than food. Yeah, but we got Jenny Slate on the show. Do you need more time? Yeah. Okay, we got Michael Ian Black doing a bit with Jen Kirkman and Ron Funches. We got James Adomian as the Sheriff of Nottingham faking fellatio on somebody. Yeah, we got Nick Offerman doing a song. We got Garfunkel Notes doing a song.
Starting point is 01:07:20 We got Justin Willman doing some magic. We got David Wayne in the backstage doing the sloppiest magic. It's like if Woody Allen was trying to do magic. He's just like messing up and like going. There's a lot of fun stuff. Adam Scott, Durs from Workaholics. There's a lot of awesome stuff in the show. So please watch it and tell everyone you know.
Starting point is 01:07:42 All right. That was a lengthy plug. Well, he needed time. No, I know. I said 15 minutes of plugging. Ed Salazar's in it. That was for us. Yeah, Ed's always around
Starting point is 01:07:59 at the Beltown. He's a great guy. Jared, what do you want to plug? Well, we've got your good friend Graham Elwood coming up this next weekend, June 10th through 12th. All right. He's doing an all-whistling. Okay.
Starting point is 01:08:13 He's doing an all-whistling. 12 through 14. He's doing an all-whistling set, right? Right. All-whistling and Bane impressions. And any better impressions? Well, I'm sure they'll make an appearance, yes.
Starting point is 01:08:24 And then... Even flow! And then at the end of June, we have Marc Maron back, June 27th through 29th, and then three days after that, Maria Bamford is back for Wednesday and Thursday night.
Starting point is 01:08:38 And then our sixth anniversary weekend in September is Chris Hardwick. So that's September 18th through 20th All previous guests On Doug Lowe's movies Maria Bamford Is kind of like you Ron She doesn't pay attention
Starting point is 01:08:51 To anything She's on the meltdown That's not her thing Yeah paying attention Is for suckers What? But I am going to go back and watch Jumanji again because Gary Oldman was awesome in it.
Starting point is 01:09:08 Hell yeah. He played the dice. He's very versatile. He just disappears into a character. The sister act. Douglow's movies tapings are coming up in Kansas City and New York City. And, you know, I got one in L.A. coming up. And go to DouglasMovies.com for all my dates.
Starting point is 01:09:37 And, Ron, what's your guess? I don't get to do plugs. Plug the answer. Okay, you can do your plugs. That gives you even more time to think of this answer you're never going to come up with. Oh, I gave up a long time ago. Well, I'll plug some things. You can watch my TV show.
Starting point is 01:10:03 It's called Undateable. Undateable, you guys. It's on NBC on Thursdays at 9. My half hour special on Comedy Central is June 20th on Friday night. June 20th, Friday night. And then probably they'll show it a few more times. And you can also probably access it on the internet. But watch on June 20th.
Starting point is 01:10:26 Let's get a big rating for Ron. Big push. Ron's big night. Yeah. Watch it, then they'll give me more money. They'll also give you more problems. Yeah. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:43 Here's your money and here's your problems. That's how they do it. They see you down. Lay it all out. And we're going to be on At Midnight together on June 22nd. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:54 Wait. When did you say your stand-up was? June 20th. That's a Friday. So then how could June 22nd be the following Tuesday? Maybe it's technically Saturday Because it's like at midnight, 1230 Well, our numbers are still off
Starting point is 01:11:12 Turn on Comedy Central in June and leave it the fuck on You guys want to see Corky Romano again? It's a great channel. It's a great channel. All right, do you have an answer, Ron? The only movie I know with incest is, I mean, there's a few. But I'm excited about what your answer might be
Starting point is 01:11:38 because when I looked up movies with incest, I found a list of 50 of them, and this is the only one that I recognized, really. I mean, a lot of them are foreign. A lot of French incest going on. Typical. But this is the only one movie that jumped out at me as something I recognized. And it's a movie I've never seen, but it's by a filmmaker that I admire.
Starting point is 01:12:00 So I should probably check it out. But what's your answer? Well, I think there's incest and Precious, right? So that would be my pick. Precious based on the novel Push by Sapphire? Yeah. I know it's like a decade later. That wasn't even on the list on IMDb of incest movies.
Starting point is 01:12:23 Maybe because there's just so many other themes going on in that film that it's hard to pick one. Just general shittiness. I mean, I went on IMDb and I looked up movies where a girl runs with chicken and Precious came up. But it didn't come up under incest. Are you going to name the movie? Yeah, do you think you know what it is?
Starting point is 01:12:46 Just for fun? Well, we kind of discussed it. You're discussing it over there? No, we have another podcast going on right now. It's called Hush Tones. Dude, tell everybody about, you didn't even plug Jonah Radio. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:02 I do a podcast called Jonah Radio, and it's... Thank you. If you are in a band or a musician of any sort, feel free to email jonaradio r-a-y-d-i-o at gmail.com your music. We play
Starting point is 01:13:18 bands that aren't signed or they're struggling to get out there. A really cool thing that's happened is the bands we play have actually been getting their sales, seeing uptick, and people come to see them live. So please, if you are in a band, send it my way. And if it doesn't suck dick, I'll fucking play it. There's guys that said, like, here's my cover band.
Starting point is 01:13:36 I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Did we talk already about seeing Shooter Jennings on Friday night? Oh, we didn't talk about seeing Shooter Jennings. That was great. We had a blast over at the Bluebird watching. You know, I kind of knew that Waylon Jennings had a son that was in the business or whatever, but I'd never seen him, and it was amazing.
Starting point is 01:13:53 Yeah, outlaw country. Yeah. Yeah, it was really good. Yeah, it's borderline and even sometimes completely rock music. And he did a solo cover of Nirvana. He did an acoustic cover of a Nirvana song. Something in the Way. It was so good.
Starting point is 01:14:08 Yeah, it was really good. Yeah, I had a good time. And then he has reached out to me via Twitter, and he promises to come on Getting Doug With High. I don't recommend it. So Shooter doesn't, you know, his name probably should be Toker, not Shooter, because he's not shooting drugs. He's toking. You don't know how he's going to get high.
Starting point is 01:14:29 Oh, okay. That'd be weird if somebody comes out getting done with high and just starts, you know, take a rubber tube and run it around their arm. Hang on a second. I just got to tie off to get ready for getting high. And then you just have to vamp while he passes out.
Starting point is 01:14:47 You just have to keep it going for an hour. All right, Ron. I tried to drag it out for as long as possible. But your answer of precious is incorrect. I had a feeling. Yeah. Is it the House of Yes? Oh, that had incest
Starting point is 01:15:08 in it too? Yeah, it was all about it. IMDB didn't mention that either. Really? Yeah, it's a weird list. Maybe this movie doesn't have incest in it, but Leonard does say it's just your average black comedy about masturbation and incest, and it's called Spanking the Monkey. Oh!
Starting point is 01:15:25 Did you see that? No, but I always saw the VHS tape at the video store. I remember it. I felt too embarrassed to have my mom rent it for me. That means Jared is our winner, everybody. Yay! Don't need this. Jared needed this for his poor self-esteem.
Starting point is 01:15:50 What were you going to say, Jared? I was just going to say, because didn't Ron, he went down one. Who was the top star? Wasn't it six and he said he could do it in five? Huh? Is it Adam Goldberg? Is that who it was? Oh, who was the lead actor?
Starting point is 01:16:02 Yeah. Jeremy Davies. Oh, that guy. Well, he still wouldn't have gotten it. The guy from Lost. Yeah, he's a good actor. He was really good, and he had a little arc on Justified. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:15 Yeah, yeah. I like that guy. It's not Doug Loves TV. Come on, let's go. But Justified is like a movie on TV. I love that show. It's really good. You guys, this breezed by because Jared is so good,
Starting point is 01:16:33 and my other guests are nice. So mean. Why does that mean? Treat me like Sam Levine. I just called you nice. I would not call Sam Levine nice. I'd call him pretty. Pretty nice.
Starting point is 01:16:54 Nice-ish. You know, for the record, I was hard on my employee earlier, Alex, but he, look at this. Let's point that out. You got this right over to him. I didn't ask for it. That's right. Didn't even have to ask for it. No, that's the problem. There's a reason
Starting point is 01:17:10 I stopped asking. Well, he fucked up after all. Well, sorry. Nobody doesn't want to get a comedian fucked up. If you're a comedian, you go out to a bar or something, you constantly get offered. So you don't drink at all, Ron?
Starting point is 01:17:25 No, I'm allergic to alcohol. What? Yeah. I'm going to start saying that to people. You should. Do a shot, bro. Oh, I'm allergic, man. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:33 People don't like it, though. Yeah, they don't. No, they get mad at you. They get so mad. Like, why are you in a bar then? Well, because there's food, and I'm a comic, and there's a stage. And a paycheck.
Starting point is 01:17:47 A lot of reasons. Yeah, it's tough. Then you go, why are you here? And they go, because I'm sad. And I forgot how to have real fun. Did I get too real? That's like the worst thing a comic says. Oh, I'm sorry, did I get too real? That's like the worst thing a comic says. Oh, I'm sorry, did I get too real?
Starting point is 01:18:08 Obama. Here's another one I like. When I go to a comic, it tells you, you guys are sick. You guys are fucked up. I'm just telling you the truth. You're spinning your mind into some crazy shit. You seen this? You hear about this?
Starting point is 01:18:28 I went to the mall. You been to these? You seen these? Have you been down to this quarry? They got a Victoria's Secret and a cell phone store down there now. Yeah. Times are changing. Obama.
Starting point is 01:18:43 How's your hand, Jonah? Times are changing. Obama. How's your hand, Jonah? Midway through this fucking show, he's like, I was looking at my hand, he's like,
Starting point is 01:18:54 it's not changing. Son of a bitch. It hurts. It hurts. But I'm sure that cold, tiny cocktail is like a cold compress. Yes, I was told to ice it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:11 Who told you to ice it? Chip. My buddy Chip told me to. And the thing is, it was one of those falls where I fell, and the only thing that came out of his mouth was like, oh, man. He's using a cane to walk around. He would be no help to me.
Starting point is 01:19:37 Who are we talking about, Skip? Chip. Chip. I called him Skip yesterday and thought it would be fun to do it again Chip Skip This is so I've never You know
Starting point is 01:19:54 I try to time it So the show ends You know At a full 90 minutes For the paying crowd And we came up short And so now I'm just fucking around.
Starting point is 01:20:05 How short are we? Yeah. Just dragging it out. Who all came to see Ron Funches this weekend? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my. It was quite an experience for us, Ron.
Starting point is 01:20:16 Cool. It was pretty great, man. Seriously. I don't know. That felt like that was a hidden... No, I mean it really. You know, like... Yeah, right when you walk off stage,
Starting point is 01:20:25 you don't want to hear, that was quite an experience. Did you like it? No, I experienced it. Was it funny? I've never seen anything like it. Well, I was trying to pay you a compliment. Well, why don't you pay him some money?
Starting point is 01:20:42 You're the fucking club owner. Yeah. Why don't you pay him some money, the fucking club owner? How much time did that waste? That was great. I got more plugs. We need the... Do you really? Yeah, yeah. What else do you got to plug?
Starting point is 01:21:00 I'm going to be a record store clerk in an episode of Marin. Nice. I'm going to be a creep at a bar in an episode of Garfunkel and Oates. Nice. And I'm going to be a guy that says, hey, the Oscars are on on Key and Peele. Nice. That's all you say? I want to do more now.
Starting point is 01:21:21 What record did Marin buy in the scene? He was buying Depeche Mode, and then I make fun of him for it. Well, that's, yeah. And then he tries to say that, it's like, no, I'm cool, I got it, man. And then he invites me over to his place, and I'm just not having a good time. It was written by Jerry Stahl from Permanent Midnight fame, and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait.
Starting point is 01:21:39 Oh, that's the thing. Everyone should go home and download Willow Creek by Bobcat Goldthwait. Like, pay for it, download. Bobcat Goldthwait. Like, pay for it. Download. Bobcat Goldthwait did a found footage horror comedy called Willow Creek about Bigfoot, and it's really, really fucking good. It's available on all digital platforms.
Starting point is 01:21:55 Yeah, check it out. Past and future guest Bobcat Goldthwait. We were talking about that yesterday. We actually screened it at IU Cinema on Halloween, and it was fantastic. Yeah, it's a funny movie, then it gets legitimate scary. So it's a really good combination. All right, spoiler.
Starting point is 01:22:14 Alex Toombs? Alec Toombs? Whatever, something Toombs? Mr. Toombs, come collect your prizes. Why do you have a pen in your mouth? Thanks dude Yo I like that He pointed at Jared who won for a moment
Starting point is 01:22:36 Yo You're welcome for that one of a kind poster Dipshit Good job yo Oh yeah the cookie. Oh, I wish I hadn't brought that up. Is it all right with you if Ron keeps the cookie? That was just Ron's interior dialogue.
Starting point is 01:22:58 He was like, cookie. Oh, cookie, I can't wait. You're sure you don't want the cookie? You bought this friend, Cookie. He doesn't want the cookie. You can have the cookie, Ron. Hell yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:23:14 Okay. I'll allow it. All right. Thank you once again to everybody for coming out on a beautiful Sunday afternoon here at the Comedy Attic. And let's, Jared, you know what? Maybe the next time we do a Douglass Movies here, we'll do it in the theater over there.
Starting point is 01:23:35 Yeah, yeah. You know, because I always feel bad for the folks that are sitting off to the side over here for not being able to see all of our faces, but they could hear everything. Let's give them all some faces now. Yeah, give them some faces. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 01:23:51 I fucking have some yes, I don't know. Pretty much movie. That was what you missed. And let's hear it once again for Ron Funches, Jonah Ray, Jared. for Rod Funches, Jonah Ray, Jared, owner of this fine establishment.
Starting point is 01:24:16 And as always, the law is a shithead. And pronouncing Maleficent as a shithead.

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