Doug Loves Movies - Rosa Salazar, John Hamburg and Nick Thune guest
Episode Date: December 23, 2016Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes Rosa Salazar, John Hamburg and Nick Thune to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at h...ttps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug, and we have a problem.
This particular episode was a lot of fun to record last night.
Super great turnout at the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles.
And we lost the first 14 minutes of the recording due to some, like, a fucking bad memory card or some fucking thing
so i'm gonna try to recreate what happened before i brought out the guests fortunately the audio
does kick in when i bring the guests out you don't have to hear the long pause after
douglasmovies.com so there's that there's an upside for you i started the show last night
by saying it's thursday december 22nd 2016 only three days till christmas and this place is packed
what are you a bunch of jews yeah big laugh because i they probably were. And I asked for name tags, and there were a ton of name tags,
a ton of really good ones, you know, some with lights on them,
and Chelsea was in the front row with a name tag covered in candy
that I forget what it said on it.
Recounting everything that happened in the first 14 minutes of the show last night
is not easy.
I went on to talk about my holiday taint shows.
I got Doug Lowe's movies this Monday night
at the American Comedy Company in San Diego.
And then I'm doing stand-up at the Improv in Irvine
on December 27th
and the Punchline in Sacramento on December 29th.
If you come to Irvine Improv or the Punch Sack,
be sure to bring name tags because games will be played,
well, one game, at the end of the show,
and you have a chance of winning the prize bag.
And Doug Loves Movies is back at the Tempe Improv in Tempe, Arizona on New Year's Eve at 4.20. You can come to the show and then
be done for the night at 6 p.m. Go home. Or you could go out and do something. I'm not in charge
of what you do on New Year's Eve, Tempe.
I just need you to come to my show in the afternoon.
And we just added a Doug Loves Movies
on the final night of SF Sketch Fest, January 29th.
And that's in addition to the Benson movie interruption
of Fifty Shades of Grey.
And when I said that last night, the whole crowd went,
I was like, yeah, you're right.
On January 15th,
go to SFSketchFest.com
and then I paused
like I was going to pause a long time
and everybody enjoyed that a great deal.
And then I said,
that's SFSketchFest.com
The 12 Guests of Christmas LA
the West Coast edition this year
is now ready and available to be purchased
for $2 in the Comedy Albums section of iTunes.
Thanks for your patience on that.
It took forever for that to come out
for some reason.
I don't get all this tech shit, you guys.
I just do the talking part and I don't get all this tech shit, you guys. I just do the talking part,
and I don't even talk that good. I did a shout out to Sean Sacamai and his brother Daryl,
who are in the house, and I said that, unfortunately, his other brother Daryl couldn't
make it, because I like making new heart jokes. And then, this was another bummer last night, I had leaked
in the previous episode that Emile Hirsch, very talented actor, was going to be one of
the guests on the show, because I was excited that Emile Hirsch was going to be on, and
I thought people should know. And then, of course, he gets sick and cancels that day so I explained that
to the crowd and there was a little sadness so it was clearly a little more full than usual
because Emile Hirsch was going to be there and so I apologize for that and also but that's why I
don't reveal the names on a regular basis it's because you get bit in the ass when the person doesn't come,
and then the audience is like, what?
You said Emil was going to be here.
So I'll reschedule.
Emil Hirsch will come on sometime in the future, so that's a nice tease.
You have to come to L.A. shows from now until Emil Hirsch is on
if that's what you want to do, if you want
to see Emile Hirsch, and then I talked about the prize bag, and all the stuff that I put into it,
which of course now I'm having trouble remembering, I brought a lot of random crap,
there's a Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome button, there was some nutter butter bite cookies there were
Assassin's Creed shot glasses that I got out of a loot crate what else was in
there just yeah I was just kind of some some random shit so let's just jump into the show. I believe it's going to start after the introduction
of my guests Nick Thune, John Hamburg, and Rosa Salazar. And Nick Thune is wearing a
ski cap kind of hat and a baseball cap on top of that.
I think you need to know that
that he's wearing
a couple of hats.
Enjoy the show.
Is that like a new thing?
The two hats that you're wearing?
Well, when my good friend Rosa gives me a hat
then yeah, it is a new thing.
Oh, you just put the new hat on top of the hat
you already have on
because where else are you going to...
What are you going to do with it?
It doesn't fit in my pocket.
It was in the prize bag.
It was in the prize bag
and he like...
You brought that for a prize
and now he's keeping it
when he's already got a hat?
He was like,
what did you bring?
Can I have this?
And I was like, of course.
And then he went into
this whole thing
about his wife owning a Mercedes.
That I bought her.
He brought that up quickly.
That was fucking basically mine.
Who'd you buy a Mercedes for?
My wife.
Damn it.
We got ourselves a listener on our hands.
And let's meet these folks individually,
starting with her.
To my left, it's Rosa Salazar, everybody.
How do you like to pronounce Rosa?
Rosa.
You like to really lay into it?
Rosa.
Rosa Salazar.
Yeah, if you were a reporter on the local news,
you would totally lay into it.
Rosa Salazar.
Yeah, exactly.
All right.
Now, you, of course,
are...
I've been talking about
this movie for a little bit
on the show
because it took me
a long time
to get around to watching it
and I enjoyed it a great deal.
Night Owls
with our friend Adam Pally
and you are the stars of it.
It's a two-hander.
It's a two-hander.
But the other...
A couple of the other hands in there
are Rob Hubel and Tony Hale, who also
have been on Doug Lowe's movies. So now the entire
cast of Night Owls
has been on Doug Lowe's movies. Peter Krause?
No.
You want me to call him? Please.
Yeah. I would love that.
I would love that. I'm a big Sports Night
fan. Okay, I'll call him.
I'll call him, too.
Oh, yeah, let's see which one of you can get him first.
Well, I gotta ask Rosa for his number.
Can I have this?
All right, Rosa, I'm going to ask you a question
that was meant for Emile Hirsch.
All right, Rosa, I'm going to ask you a question that was meant for Emile Hirsch.
Dude, I watched the shit out of the girl next door.
And I have one question for you.
Do you stay in touch with Timothy Oliphant?
I was just choking to Timothy Oly...
I mean, talking to Timothy Olyphon yesterday.
What?
Whoa!
It's 19 minutes after the hour.
All right, so...
When we recorded this,
listeners, don't freak out.
Like, getting done with High,
we tape them and then we archive them.
And when people are watching the archived episodes,
they will tweet at me a question
like they forget that it's not live.
So I'm trying to remind the listeners of this program
the same thing could happen to them.
That was your answer?
Okay.
It didn't go over well.
I didn't get it.
Well.
You replied you were having some sort of sexual encounter with Timothy Oliphant?
Let's talk about this.
Let's talk about the Oliphant in the room.
Very nice.
Also joining us for the first time,
it's John Hamburg, everybody.
Thank you, Doug.
Happy to be here.
Dude, if someone gives you a long drown out,
if they draw your name in the intro, is Is there like, can you see the disappointment?
John Hamburg!
You know, yeah
Yeah, I feel it
I've got them for about two seconds
And they're like, eh, it's the Jewish guy
It's the Jewish John Hamm
I gave for this Christmas
All my family members, I gave them Jon Hamm's email address.
Embroidered on a t-shirt.
It's a pretty sweet gift.
Great stocking stopper.
Somebody accidentally didn't BCC all the, remember this last year when you were on that email?
What?
Josh, remember Josh?
Yeah, yeah.
It's still a thing.
It's on my shoulder.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean.
They sent like a big email out to everybody and they forgot to BCC everybody.
And Jon Hamm's email address
was like the second one.
So then you saved it and gave it out this year?
Yeah, I got it embroidered on t-shirts.
And gave it to my loved ones.
I don't think he still has that AOL address though.
It's just Jon Hamm.
I tried to pick something that seemed old.
But John Hamburg, of course,
is the director and writer of many classic comedies,
and his latest movie is coming out in theaters tomorrow.
Comes out tomorrow.
Yeah, and it's called Why Him.
Yep, comes out tomorrow.
Everybody's excited for it.
Thanks, man. It's fun for it. Thanks, man.
It's funnier than the trailers,
I'm going to say.
Well, let me say this to you.
Isn't it weird that trailers,
like, it just seems like
they really want to go to
if there's anything slapstick
that happens.
Yeah.
They have to show that
and they don't take into account
that those moments,
there's usually a really nice buildup.
Like Office Christmas Party, the trailer highlights a moment that you now wait for for most of the movie because you've seen it in the trailer.
Yep.
It's our nightmare.
As comedy directors, it's our nightmare.
But in your case, the lady getting hit in the face, that's the slapstick.
That's not like a plot point in the movie, I hope.
Here's the deal.
That's not in the movie.
If you go see the movie,
when they cut the first trailer,
we hadn't cut the movie yet,
and they put that in, it's gonna kill.
We previewed with that scene.
The preview went great, but that scene flatlined.
And we cut it out, as we do.
And then it's in the trailer.
It kills, I guarantee it.
And it's really just not that funny.
And it's not on plot, really.
It's just a random woman gets hit in the face.
Yeah, it wasn't funny when it was on plot,
and it's even less funny now.
But it's not in the second trailer.
So there's a new Red Band trailer that's still just okay.
All right.
Yeah.
That's what happens with the trailers.
The movie is funny, you know, but there you go.
Yeah, people have to know that the director of a film
doesn't really cut the trailers.
Yeah, you try to do it.
No approval?
It's out of your hands.
You have sort of consent.
What is it?
Consultation.
Yeah, they say, you like this, right?
That's right.
That's right.
What they do is you go, you've got to be kidding me.
They go, this was the highest testing trailer in the history of cinema.
And you sort of go, really?
Was it?
Who's saying that?
Have you read the YouTube comments?
God, no.
No, I didn't.
Have you, Nick?
I did, yeah.
Did you?
No, there was one that said,
could use more Nick soon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who cast this?
When was this?
Well, let me ask you, John.
Let me ask you my Emile Hirsch question for you.
Ready for it.
Let's do it.
Your latest is the autopsy of Jane Doe.
How, when can we see that?
Okay, that, yeah.
We had so much fun on that one.
It was,
it's me and
it's... Jason.
Jason and Mia Wasikowska.
I don't know if that's how you pronounce her name.
I know. I was really thrilled you gave it
a shot. Why was
my degree of difficulty so high?
We had such a good time.
We just cracked each other up.
And it's a drama.
It's like Manchester by the Sea,
so it was inappropriate that we were laughing.
That comes out February 29th.
All right, you guys,
so make sure you check out Autopsy of Jane Doe
in February,
just in time for...
Wait a second, the 29th?
You swindler.
See what I did there?
God, that was so...
Can I just say, Emile's a very good...
That was so Hirsch of me.
He's always just...
Oh, that's what he'll do?
He does stuff like that?
Just messing with people.
All right, well, I can't wait to have him on for reals.
But who I'm stuck with tonight is Nick Thune, everybody.
Thanks.
Thank you so much.
How you doing, man?
Obviously great.
You got a...
I've been crushing in here.
You got a CISO special, right?
Yeah. Yeah, that special, right? Yeah.
Yeah, it came out today.
Yeah.
If you have a CISO special, say so.
I do.
If you see so, say so.
See so, say so.
Yeah.
And it's brand new on there, and people can check it out.
Yeah, it's barely, yeah, it's just happened. All right. I don it out yeah it's barely yeah it's just happened
alright
I don't even
it's hard to remember
even when it was filmed
to be honest
the whole thing's kind of a
I wouldn't watch it
I don't think I did
you know you're here tonight
because a publicist
contacted me
can I just say
that's the worst plug
of anything
I've ever heard
in my career
it would have been better if he said it comes out on February 29th.
Well, I mean, I wouldn't watch it because I was in it.
All right.
Well, here's my question for you, Emile Hirsch.
I love Into the Wild.
Thank you.
That was my whole question. I was gonna say to him i love into the wild
interesting that you asked that
i did too i like that movie a lot yeah i guess i mean there's actually a moment in it um
where he is out just kind of on the rocks you know
things are going badly
and
holy
and he gets all spinny
you know
I get all spinny
the character
obviously the character
gets all spinny
and he spins around
I think that's probably
one of the better moments
but
I die at the end of that
what
that's fucked up
yeah
that's a big spoiler.
You die at the end of that.
At the end of the movie.
Because every year at Christmas I watch that movie,
but I stop it before it's over.
Because I just don't, you know,
I really can't handle if he dies at the end.
Yeah.
No, I do.
Thanks for telling me.
I appreciate it.
John Hamburg.
How can I help?
Do people, like, when they find out you directed The Long Came Polly,
do they lose their minds?
Because I love that movie.
Thanks, man.
They quote, you know, they do a little Phil Hoffman.
They do Let It Rain and stuff like that.
Speaking of Phil Hoffman.
That's so funny. But Phil Hoffman is They do Let It Rain and stuff like that. Well, speaking of Phil Hoffman, oh, that's so funny.
But Phil Hoffman is so hilarious in that movie.
And I don't think he ever,
you know,
he gets lots of chances
to be funny in moments,
but he tends to be in dramas.
Yeah.
So he's so funny in that.
And I think you and him together,
you wrote it and he said it.
You pretty much put Sharded
out into the world.
That was,
I don't think it existed before I wrote it. I don't think itarted out into the world. That was, I don't think it existed.
I don't think it came along until Polly.
Thank you.
You know, I don't know.
Thank you, I guess.
I mean, it's a weird thing because I do think I invented it.
Maybe some other guy did, but I'd never heard it.
And it's, I guess it's a point of pride.
I don't have a problem with it.
Yeah, dude.
It's out there.
You coined not only a word, but a very useful one,
because the act of doing that used to take several words.
Oh, shit, I just shit my pants, or whatever.
You could just be like, oh, shard, I just sharded.
That's right.
That's right.
Now, did it happen?
Because I know for me, the writing process,
it just kind of happened happened and you're like,
I've got to write that down.
I just shit myself.
I mean, look, who hasn't?
It's happened to all of us, right?
I mean, to some degree.
There's certain...
No, it never happened to me.
No, it never happened to me.
And what kind of stuff did you bring for the prize bag, sir?
Okay, so I have, from our latest movie, Why Him,
I've got our crew,
a couple of gifts we gave out at our wrap party,
so there's not too many of them,
a baseball hat with James Franco.
His character's an app designer,
and he creates kind of a fruit ninja game
called Ape Assassins,
and he has a company called Gorilla Gang,
spelled like gorillas, like the fighters.
Can Nick Thune have your hat?
Yeah, try it on, Nick.
Oh, no.
He's going to keep it.
He's adding it to the hat stack.
That's kind of a hat on a hat, Nick.
And a sweatshirt.
That's nice.
We spent a lot of time figuring out the cut.
Thank you so much.
There's another hat in there.
Oh, no.
Don't give him another hat.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
We want it to be subtle,
because I hate when you get a crew thing,
and it just sprays the name all over,
so it's kind of an inside thing,
and you've got the Gorilla Gang logo right here, tastefully
put on the breast pocket. Oh, that is
nice. So you've got some genuine
swag that only the cast and crew has.
Nick, do you want to slip
that on? You want to put it on? I'll give it a shot.
Yeah, try it on. Just see how it hangs.
Yeah.
The prize bag sucked at Douglas
movies. Nick Thune walked off wearing it.
Oh!
It's a hat-astrophe!
Oh, no.
Good lord.
I wish I'd asked you to put that thing on
just to trick you into dropping all your hats.
Yeah, that's...
How is he wearing this?
Hold on, let me pull it.
What size is that thing?
There's a weird thing about the sweatshirt
where the back isn't there.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
That's a good visual joke.
There we go.
All right.
For the listening.
I think you're working
with a large, you know,
so it's probably
not an extra large,
but okay.
Look at that.
In the last year,
I've kind of moved up
to the XLs.
Okay, yeah.
But if you're a normal-sized
human being,
I think you'd love
the sweatshirt.
Super comfy.
Yeah.
And there's nothing else in that bag there?
Are you kidding me?
No.
No, no.
I just now, thanks to Nick,
you're just giving away a bag.
That's right.
I've got a...
Yeah.
A water?
I mean, talk about greedy.
He's keeping both hats
like you let us
have one for the bag
I think the audience
they want me to have it
uh oh
no
no no no
no no no
no I'll fucking
take her down
this lady
you better watch out
oh yeah I'll take him with me.
All right, you got three?
All right.
You took away their gifts.
You threatened their husbands.
Fuck.
When I told John Hamburger that Nick Thune would be one of the other guests,
his response was perfect because he said, why him?
Oh, shit. God damn it, you got served. Nick Thune would be one of the other guests. His response was perfect because he said, why him?
God damn it.
You got served.
Wow.
What'd you bring for the bag, Nick?
Oh, just one of the hats.
You just had some extra hats laying around.
I don't know.
I just kind of fucking took something from my house, my album.
A copy of your own album.
Really bad at plugs.
It's my first album.
One of the best album titles ever.
Nick Thune.
Thick Noon.
CD and DVD.
What?
DVD's all audio.
It's the direct TV thing bouncing around. If you've ever used
the expression.
Oh, it's gonna hit the corner.
No, it's not.
Oh, that's brilliant.
I love that.
And never let it
touch the corners.
Never.
Oh, it's interesting too.
You got critics' quotes
on the cover.
As exciting as watching
Nick Thune's beard grow.
Which, I've done a time lapse. It's a little longer since this. as exciting as watching Nick Thune's beard grow. Which?
I've done a time lapse.
No, same beard.
What?
I mean, yeah, you know.
I've got really thick pubes.
That's what all my girlfriends always said.
Real thick pubes and beards.
Okay.
Thanks for contributing less to the bag than you're taking.
I'm actually, like, super hot right now.
Yeah, you do look great in that.
I just... Rosa, what do you have for the prize bag?
I'm so excited about this.
I'll keep him away from Thick Noon.
I brought an Alita Battle Angel Weta Digital Onset VFX hat.
I'm just getting it away from him right away.
He's a hat magnet that kid and a
t-shirt for them oh what size is that you want to put it on let's give it a shot all right give it
a whirl give it a whirl i just won't even announce this one because i'm just going to give it right
nick he's going he's going over the sweatshirt.
That's a move I didn't think he would do.
Oh my God.
Over the hoodie.
Over the hoodie.
Jesus.
Yeah, girl.
Fuck yeah.
Fits perfectly. It's a t-shirt. It's actually nice. It's really nice. It feels good. yeah girl fuck yeah fits perfectly
it's a t-shirt
it's actually nice
it's really nice
it feels good
I also brought a poster
let me try that on
from Maze Runner
the Scorch Trials
I'm in that
I swear to you
I love this tagline
the maze was just
the beginning
yeah after they learned to make corn they uh Swear to you. I love this tagline. The maze was just the beginning.
Yeah, after they learned to make corn, they... They left.
They made other items, other food things.
And then they left.
And then they left.
And then that's...
Yeah.
Okay.
I like when that guy, what's his name?
Aiden Gillen?
Is that how you say his name?
Yeah.
He's like, you'll never survive out in the scorch.
He really lays into the scorch. I was like,
yeah, that sounds... I don't want to go out there.
I'll say that
to my friends sometimes when they're leaving a building.
You won't survive out
in the scorch.
Scorch.
Don't forget to take
some scorch tape with you
to protect yourself.
Well, thank you for...
Now wait, are they making three scorch
maze trials?
It's called the
Death Cure. And are you in that one too?
Yeah. Oh, okay.
That's how these things work, right?
That's how they work these days.
Unless your character gets killed.
Are there any characters that have been killed so far
in the Mage Runners?
I don't know.
I'm already feeling
the trivia.
Yes.
Alex Flores gets killed as an actor.
Oh, okay.
Now you're not confusing this with the Divergent movies,
are you? I hope not.
Because that would be weird since you're in this one.
It would be weird for you to confuse it with one you're not in, but I do.
Yeah.
Okay.
I confuse them all the time.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
All right.
All right.
Let's talk movies for a second.
Uh-oh.
I just want it to be fair.
There you go.
Oh, my God.
Now I'm going to get such a headache.
Nothing like wearing two tight hats.
Instead of just one tight hat.
Have you been to the movies lately, Rosa?
I have.
What did you see?
What was the last thing you saw?
The last thing I saw in theater was Arrival, I think.
Oh, okay.
In theater.
But the last movie I saw at home was American Honey.
And I loved it.
That's a long one, right?
Yes.
I took a road trip back from Austin, and it spanned two states.
And it's about kind of a road trip theme.
Oh, okay.
And it's all in real time.
Yeah.
Is that all you think we need to know about it?
Is this road trippy?
Yep.
Yep?
And it's got Tom Green.
It's got Nick Thune, Tom Green.
It stars Sasha Lane, this new actress.
She's really great.
And Shia LaBeouf.
Shia LaBeouf?
Oh, got to hear that.
He's got some LaBeouf.
Was he good?
Yeah, he was great.
He was really good.
And Riley Kof?
Kof?
What's it?
Riley Kof?
K-E-O-G-H?
Something like that?
Elvis Presley's granddaughter, Kylie Roof.
Okay.
Fuck.
Oh, shit.
That's okay.
She's great.
All right.
In it.
Yeah, I want to see that movie.
Thanks for the recommendation
You're welcome
You sound like me
Selling my shit
I didn't take my album
I don't know
It's whatever
What was the last movie
You saw Nick
I'm embarrassed
Cause you're wearing
A million clothes
Or because of you I don't know I'm embarrassed. Because you're wearing a million clothes?
Or because of you?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh, yeah.
No, Rosa, come on.
It's Christmas time.
I saw La La Land.
You seem like you're down on yourself for having done that.
Well, I wouldn't have gone.
I would have spent the night doing something cooler.
Because we got a babysitter
and went.
And my wife...
It's actually the same exact embarrassing thing
that the last concert I saw was fucking
Macklemore.
Because I played at the same festival as him,
and my wife was like, I know, okay, he said it again.
Wanted to see it, so I got...
And I would never watch La La Land.
I just don't.
I do like Ryan Gosling.
I think he's a good actor,
but I just wouldn't be interested in that.
And?
Now that you've seen it...
I was actually good.
I did like it.
The only thing I didn't like was the first scene.
I mean, I would have.
I'm glad that she made me go.
But the first scene was such bullshit.
It's like this fucking dance routine.
And it's like, oh, so everyone in L.A. has dancer bods.
Is that what's happening?
Because it's like everyone getting out of their cars on the freeway.
And and that's how the movie ends.
It's not it's ends. It's not.
It doesn't give anything up.
But it's just, I don't know.
I thought that scene was kind of shitty.
You know, like Singing in the Rain
is an old-timey musical.
It was about people in Hollywood
and they all look pretty good, too.
I know, but it just, you know,
you could get a little more realistic people, I think.
Yeah, when you want realism
in a film called La La Land.
This isn't
the La La Land I know.
I want something from the gritty
streets of La La Land.
Hey bro, I fucking
I live in Glendale, so fuck you.
But that's good to hear that you were like
turned around on it
that you didn't want to go
and you liked it
because I do
talk to a lot of people
get real sourpuss about it
because they just hate
the idea of a musical
or whatever
well there was definitely
a scene that I was like
if this was not in there
I would have actually
liked it through and through
I think that there was
a few kind of
gratuitous things
it's like come on
what you're floating?
Fuck you.
Right? At least
Grease saved that for the very last scene.
They stayed mired in reality
throughout Grease.
But then the car flies away at the end.
Like, fuck you, Grease.
Is that Grease 2?
No, Grease 1, man. They fly away.
They leave their friends.
They don't tell their friends ever that the car can fly.
Why did that car even come close to losing a race if it could fly?
The greatest thing about... So angry at Grease.
So just to...
I just...
Also, the Macklemore concert,
I have to touch on that.
Oh, yeah, please.
So it's like in an outdoor stadium in Seattle.
Like, it's almost as if you were a fish in the ocean
at that point, you know?
And he's, like, doing a three-hour show,
and at one point he does this song.
I think it's a cover song of someone else
where the whole chorus is
Fuck Donald Trump over and over and over
and over again. And there was
these kids standing next to me
and this kid had like an Oregon Ducks
jersey on. And
the second he said Fuck Donald
Trump he was like, No!
No! And his
girlfriend was like, It's okay, it's
Macklemore. And he was like, all right.
And then the verse would happen again,
and then the chorus would hit again, fucked,
and he's like, no!
Not again!
And she's like, baby, it's Macklemore.
And he's like, okay.
And it was just,
it was a bummer, dude.
The whole thing was a fucking bummer.
It sounds like you're standing next to Dory from Finding Nemo.
Which I've seen like 15 times.
Forgets the Donald Trump thing every time
until it happens again.
Well, I have a three-year-old son,
so yeah, that joke really hit hard with me.
Thanks, Doug.
John Hamburg.
Yeah.
Have you seen any movies lately
I haven't had a lot
of time but I did
get the screeners
for the
I get the screeners
but I haven't watched
them yet
but I did see
I mentioned this
I saw Manchester
by the sea
I saw them
we don't care
where you saw it
what did you think
of it
Manchester
that's a bit hard
so Manchester
is charming
I saw La La Land
near a mountaintop
you don't hear me
bragging about
you're right
you're right
I wanted to get in
that I was at a
seaside resort
and I'm sorry
you saw it in Santa Barbara
yeah I saw it in Santa Barbara
yep
but that Kenneth Lonergan
he doesn't do a lot of stuff
but
I always enjoy his work,
so I'm not surprised
that this is another good one.
I rarely do this.
I went to the premiere
because we heard the movie
was so good,
and the person who invited me,
I emailed and said,
are there assigned seats
because I hate to scramble,
and she said,
absolutely,
you'll have an assigned seat.
It was at a massive theater.
I took my wife,
Rosie. My wife. Farthest theater. I took my wife, Rosie.
My wife.
I'm not majoring.
The security guard who was just seated after she got everybody in, my wife and me,
that was it.
Thank you.
What was the Boston accent like?
That's what people have complained about.
Did pretty realistic.
Yeah, pretty realistic.
Did well.
And you know that's all anime
I'm gonna go
park my car
also death
and sadness
it's
it is the saddest movie
in the history
of anything
I really
I got the screener
for today
it's a rough one
put it in the garbage.
I really hope you recycle that.
No, my bag of garbage
that's great movies.
Oh, good.
It's just a garbage bag.
Oh, that's what you call your movie bag?
Yeah.
Oh, cool.
I do want to see it.
I'm excited about it.
I like that girl a lot.
Michelle Williams?
She's done so many movies.
I think she's beyond.
I like that girl.
Yeah.
I don't know her name.
Michelle Williams?
You mean the incredibly famous actress Michelle Williams?
Yeah, I like that girl.
Do you know it now?
I won't retain it.
She's good.
She's a good actress. I do like that girl. She's on the poster, but they good. She's a good actress.
I do like that girl.
She's on the poster,
but they're pushing her
for a supporting actress.
She's in two scenes.
She's in like two or three scenes.
Oh, okay.
That's like the same exact thing
with my comedy special.
You're only in two or three scenes?
Yeah.
But you're on the cover.
Oh.
Marketing, yeah.
All right. All right, well, here's the part of the show where I ask Bert Kreischer Oh. Marketing, yeah. Alright.
Alright, well, here's the part of the show
where I asked Bert Kreischer to turn it off
because I'm about to say,
let the games begin!
Let the games begin!
Bring your name tags
out of the shadows!
Whoa.
Yeah, lots of good shadows. Whoa. Yeah.
Lots of good ones.
Oh, I didn't see that box over there.
What's going on with that thing?
Oh, it's a divergent joke.
Dave Urgent.
What? All right, so you guys each need to pick one name tag
that you'd like to play for tonight.
Go physically grab the name tag from that person
and bring it back to your seat. And while you do that,
we'll do this. We'll be right back after these
messages spoken by me.
Hey, listener.
Are you getting hungry while listening to this podcast?
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would taste really good right now.
Maybe with turkey
or ham. Well, first
you should download the new app from Quiznos
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points.
Alright, we're back.
Great job
everybody.
Yeah.
Who are you playing for here, Rosa?
I'm playing for
Clive Barker's Michelle Razor.
Yeah, and she's got me in the pinhead role.
Which I don't necessarily appreciate.
Because he's one of my least favorite characters in the history of cinema.
Because even though he's supposed to be evil, I still worry that he's going to fall down.
And hitting his head is a lot worse than it is for other people but good job both you and
michelle thank you razor michelle razor uh who you got there uh nick um i've got a national
lampoon's nickmas vacation oh okay so you okay. So you went the narcissistic route on the name tag.
Still trying to promote the name Nick.
Yeah.
You got to keep it out there, man.
Yeah.
You know how fast that could go away if you don't keep it out there.
Yeah.
Like it could be gone in like a nick of time.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
But that is a good one.
Oh, he put my face on
over Chevy Chase.
I appreciate that.
I'd like to replace him.
What they can do
with effects these days.
Have you seen Vacation lately?
Doug Benson's Clark Griswold.
That's
fucked.
John, who you got there?
Paul Rudd is
our idiot Brandon.
There you go.
Kind of an independent film with Paul Rudd
and what he did is he replaced
brother with Brandon and put a nice little
photo of himself and
I thought it was very sweet.
It is.
I chose that one. It's an adorable name tag.
There you go.
Yours included a log line, didn't it?
Yeah, mine has a log line that says
funnier than 12 guests of Christmas.
Oh!
Maybe that's what I saw from a distance.
Maybe it wasn't about Nick.
Maybe I'm not a fucking egotistical asshole.
I guess we'll never know.
Come back next week.
Can I come back next week?
There's no show here next week.
I'll be there.
I'll be there okay
be sure to
stop by the
haberdasher
stack them up
good and high
before you show up
alright
let's start with
hold on
I don't
what
oh yeah okay yep just making sure I read that right yep you read it right All right. Let's start with... Hold on. I don't... What?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
Just making sure I read that right.
Yep, you read it right.
So we do the annual shows, 12 Guests of Christmas, and this guy's saying that Christmas Vacation is funnier.
I think it's kind of a toss-up.
I mean, Randy Quaid is not in every scene in Christmas Vacation.
So there is some downtime.
All right.
We're going to start with Characters Welcome.
And this is a game where I'm just going to start naming the characters played by one particular actor person.
Could be an actor or actress.
Wait, his phone's going off or something.
I got a little Siri situation, and we're good.
Oh, okay.
Sorry, Doug.
A Siri situation?
A Siri situation.
No idea.
I asked Siri a question earlier today.
She finally figured it out.
Suck her a little while.
All I knew was symbol.
Who is Doug Benson?
What's the show?
No idea.
What is this thing?
She's finally calling you back.
Well, it's going to be a series of games you don't understand.
Yep.
That's a pretty good Siri impression that I just did.
All right.
What's happening?
Oh, I'm describing the game.
How do you... Oh, I'm describing the game. How do you play?
Yeah, I'll just say,
characters played by this person,
and you can guess as often as you like.
And you don't have to hold this the whole time.
I want to.
Okay.
I'm here for you, Michelle, right here.
Yeah, I tried to take it.
She is not letting go.
That's my girl.
Thank you. Now she puts it down
I got what I came for
I got my girl
So I'm just gonna do that
Nope, alright, going back up
Do you understand how the game works?
You're gonna name character names
Do I name the actor?
Yeah, guess as often as you like.
Okay.
You got a pre-guess?
I love it when there's a pre-guess.
Jason Segel.
No.
Annette Bening.
No.
Oh, fuck.
I'm so behind her.
John doesn't have a pre-guess?
Yeah, I got a pre-guess.
Who?
Walter Matthau.
No.
No.
I'm so close.
Can we just yell it out? Sure.
Here we go.
Who has played these characters?
Wiley Old Man.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Those are two different characters.
Wiley and an old man.
Michelle Williams.
I do love her.
She's transformative.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He also played Clovis Mitchell.
Oh.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Oh, I know his daughter.
General. General Sternwood. Oh, no. Yeah, I know his daughter. General...
General Sternwood?
Oh, no.
Yeah, I know.
Why can't I think of his name?
Philip Stevens?
Yeah.
Good Lord.
Johnny Cobb?
Oh!
Oh, oh!
John Goodman!
No.
John Goodman.
I'm thinking of Ruth.
Oh, no.
Dern.
Bruce Dern?
Dern.
No.
Laura Dern.
Not any Dern.
She was so great as Cobb Salad.
Yeah, who played the Cobb Salad guy?
She's just killed in that role.
Nope, this isn't a Dernsy.
The Cobb. Linus that role. Nope, this isn't a Dernsey. The Cobb.
Linus Rawlings.
Oh, no.
John Ferguson.
Oh, here's a good one.
This is going to give it away, I think.
Good.
Okay.
Buttons, a clown.
Robin Williams.
Buttons, a clown.
Buttons, a clown. Buttons, a clown. Or maybe his name was Buttonsons a clown. Buttons a clown.
Or maybe his name was
Buttons A Clown.
Middle initial A.
That's the hard one.
My name
is Buttons Aloysius
Clown.
Oh, here's another middle edition name.
Elwood P. Dowd.
Oh.
Does anybody know?
Is anybody sitting on this?
That's what I call a giveaway name.
This next one's going to make it happen for you.
You ready?
Yeah, let's do this.
If you guys don't get it on this next one i'm gonna
walk off my own show not this one i'll walk off another one george bailey oh j uh j jimmy stewart
that's correct jimmy stewart you said it like he was saying oh jimmy Jimmy, Jimmy. Jimmy Stewart is the answer you're looking for.
That's not hard at all.
It's George Bailey.
Brandon, we did it.
Yes.
I'm sorry, Michelle.
No, that's okay.
You know there's more games to come.
Yeah, there's more games.
You don't have to worry about it.
But congratulations to John for that.
Means the world.
Amazing, amazing pull.
I fucked up.
Now we're going to play
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
So we'll start with John,
then we'll go to Nick,
and then we'll go to Rosa.
Thank you.
Very aggressive.
And I'm going to name a tagline from a movie
and you get one guess
one guess only
in turn
starting with John
what movie had the tagline
live to tell the story
oh god damn it
live to tell the story uh yikes live to tell the story
why hasn't there been a movie called yeah that's yeah um live to tell the story uh
it's a good horror movie y Yikes! Exclamation point.
I mean, it's got to be Crank High Voltage.
Oh, that's not a bad guess, but no.
Nick?
Armageddon.
Live to tell the story.
It's about Liv Tyler.
Oh, okay.
Because Bruce Willis sacrifices himself
That would be a terrible tagline
For that one
Rosa
Oh
Oh there's that cricket again
Oh no
I was wondering where it was earlier when I was pausing
This t-shirt
I think it's actually cutting off my circulation
Leave it alone This t-shirt, I think it's actually cutting off my circulation.
Leave it on.
You took all the gifts and I have to wear them.
I don't know.
You know why Nick Thune wears tight clothes? Because if he didn't, he'd get a boner in public.
I don't know.
I don't get it either.
You're really trying to do a circulation joke. I think he does have a boner. Cut off the circulation. I don't know, I don't get it either.
Trying to do a circulation joke. I think he does have a bone.
Cut off the circulation.
It's tied down.
Do you have any guesses, Rosa?
Live to Tell the Story.
Oh, that'd be interesting
if that was the name of the movie as well.
Live to Tell the Story, Live to Tell the Story.
Maze Runner.
No.
It could be.
Yeah, sure.
No, no, no.
No, that's incorrect.
She promoted her own movie with her.
She's good.
That was incredible.
Well, you know, I wrote all this stuff down before, you know,
I knew who was going to be here tonight for sure.
Oh, shit.
That was the tagline for an Emile Hirsch movie called Lone Survivor.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, he directed that, sure.
Shit.
All right, we'll start with you again for this next one, John.
Okay.
No pressure.
Oh, I know it.
What is it?
Oh, God damn it.
I totally know the movie.
No Pressure.
No Pressure.
Can you, hold on.
I know what it's called.
I know the movie.
Okay.
Shit.
No. No, I know. No Pressure. No.
No.
No pressure.
No guess.
I know it, but I can't guess it right now.
Nick?
No pressure.
Is it feature length?
Doug loves feature length films.
It's like not something somebody shot on an iPhone.
I give log lines to all my iPhone videos.
Okay.
No pressure.
I don't feel it.
I would say... Well, okay.
Home Alone 2.
Because they weren't worried about finding him.
No pressure.
We lost.
Well, we lost Kevin again.
It's easy going this time.
He's probably just home fighting off burglars.
No pressure.
Let's hang out in Florida.
He did okay last time.
Rosa? Yep. No pressure. No pressure. Let's hang out in Florida. He did okay last time. Rosa?
Yep.
No pressure.
No pressure.
This is good stuff.
Funny people?
No pressure.
It almost felt like they didn't feel the pressure
can you give a hint
it's so close
I feel like
no I'm just gonna tell you
what it's called
yeah
it's a movie
you may have heard of
called Meet the Fockers
good hint
that's a good hint
that you of course
wrote John Hamburg
I co-wrote that movie
I co-wrote that movie
you did though
yeah
you knew it so the first I was like anger management I know it's like I like that movie. You did though. Yeah.
You knew it.
So the first,
I was like,
anger management,
I know it's like an older guy
and younger guy
and I just forgot
that it was a movie
I co-wrote.
Yeah.
Shit.
Damn it.
I'm sorry Brandon.
That fucking movie.
There you go.
All right.
It's rare that you hear fuck jokes
with that.
No, people never go there.
Did you write
the line about the nipples?
I don't think...
I'm not going to take credit for that. I'm going to give credit to
somebody else for that. But it's a good line.
Yeah.
People...
Way to ruin my evening
yeah
you could have mentioned
you know
a line I wrote
this and that
you had no idea
I liked it
yeah
I loved it
it was a good line
but you know
no the movie
oh the movie
yeah
yeah
that's from meet the parents
yeah
oh
he's talking about this
yeah
meet the parents
oh I kind of fucked up on that
yeah
it's alright we figured it out same fucked up on that yeah it's alright
we figured it out
same trilogy though
a trilogy
it's a trilogy
yes
sorry
did they make three
yeah
yeah
okay good
good
alright let's try another one
yeah
John gets to go first.
I go first.
A comedy that hits you where it hurts.
Oh, yeah.
Dodgeball.
Full title?
Dodgeball, a true underdog story.
Incorrect.
Brandon, I'm sorry.
I know it. I know it.
Did you write that too?
No.
Because I did.
Nick.
Dodgeball.
Get out the way.
Let me read it to you again.
A comedy that fits you like those shirts.
Oh.
It hits you where it hurts.
Oh.
Nothing?
Nothing.
It made me laugh about the fits you like those shirts, though.
Rosa. It's up to Rosa on this. nothing made me laugh about the fits he liked those shirts though Rosa
it's up to Rosa on this
this is the full title
what is
yeah
it's what he said minus a word maybe
yeah you got 100%
oh no no it's not that movie at all
you got the title right
you were incorrect about what movie it was can I ask Michelle oh yes yes you're right Oh, no, no, it's not that movie at all. You got the title right.
You were incorrect about what movie it was.
Can I ask Michelle?
Oh, yes, yes, you're right.
No, no, but you get a lifeline in the next game.
I know you're dying to use it.
I want to talk to Michelle.
Oh, Nick has an idea.
Is it Dodgeball, Balls of Glory?
Good Lord.
Oh, shit.
What did you say?
It's Blades of Glory and Balls of Fury.
And it's neither one of those.
The answer is a movie that Nick Thune appears in called Extract.
Oh.
Extract.
Yeah.
I don't know why it would hit you where it hurts.
I'm really good in that movie, yeah.
Why, just out of curiosity,
Doug, did you make me do the whole title knowing it wasn't Dodgeball?
Because then
that would make me laugh.
Full title.
You completely derailed me.
My audience loves it when that shit happens.
I get it, I get happens. I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
God damn it.
You ready for one more?
Let me guess.
We're going to start with John on this one.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
Let's do it.
Oh, no.
There's snacks in the front row,
and Nick has to have some.
He has to have some.
This is work in the Reese's Pieces.
Oh, my God.
It's like a scene from E.T.
The multiple shirts make you look like
you have weird alien skin.
Guess how many pants I'm wearing
John
Let's do it
One choice can destroy you
One choice can destroy you
Searching for Bobby Fisher
I mean, come on.
That's a pretty good guess.
Nick?
Maze Runner.
That's a good guess too.
Rosa?
Rosa?
I'm going to put this down because my fingers are getting blue.
Sorry.
Michelle Razor.
Oh, blue fingers.
Looper.
No, that was from Insurgent.
It's from Dodgeball.
Oh, man. from dodgeball oh man I also had some
some more for
Emile Hirsch
if he was here
Matt never saw
her coming
but all his
friends had
oh shit
isn't that terrible
the girl next door
that's the girl next door
yeah
and then see if you
can guess this one
what Emile Hirsch movie
had the tagline, Go?
What's that one?
It's Stay. The movie called Stay.
Into the Wild.
Nick?
The one where he's all outdoorsy and shit. Into the Wild? No? The one where he's all the, you know,
he's like outdoorsy and shit.
Into the Wild?
No, where he loses,
no, I'm thinking about James Franco.
Oh, yeah.
Which movie?
127 Hours.
Oh, 127 Hours, yeah.
Somebody in the audience said it right away
when it came up,
because they probably didn't understand
that it was, you know,
it doesn't matter really.
Speed Racer.. Speed Racer.
Go Speed Racer.
So they just put go on the title
and people went, no.
We're not that stupid.
So yeah, so I look forward to having
Emil on the show sometime soon
I'll try to
I'll see if I can get any of those past him
But maybe that was from a Maze Runner movie
and not Insurgent, maybe I just wrote it down wrong
One choice can destroy you
I've learned that lesson now One choice can destroy you.
I've learned that lesson now.
Let's play Last Man Stanton.
We got it.
John is still in control,
so he'll get to go first in this next game.
And I like to play along on this one,
so I'll go second, and then Rosa and Nick. You guys each each have one lifeline if you can't come up with an answer you can go to one time you can go to the person whose name tag you chose okay and
we're just gonna take turns naming movies that a person suggested by a
predetermined audience member whatever they suggest we're gonna be stuck with it yeah unless we decide
not to one choice can destroy and where is Brad makes noise all right well
you're not living up to your name Brad is rather timid you might want to change I mean Brad
Brad is rather timid
You might want to change that
Brad can make noises
When
Brad gets nervous
The situation
Calls for it
Brad Where are you Where are you coming in from for the show?
West Lake.
West Lake?
So that's a little bit of a drive?
No.
45 minutes?
I hate to disagree with you, but yeah, it's kind of a fucking drive, man.
West Lake downtown.
West Lake downtown.
Not to be confused with West Lake Village.
Got it.
Okay.
Yes. So not a Got it. Okay. Yes.
So not a long drive.
No.
Is there anything special about you?
No.
It's not a worry.
All right.
I'm not going to worry about it.
He's, you know, he's just in mellow mode.
He makes noise all day.
And he comes out at night
and he just wants to have a nice quiet time.
What is your suggestion
for Last Man Stanton?
Julianne Moore.
Julianne Moore.
We might get some points.
Alright.
This is going to be an interesting one.
Starting with you there, John.
Did you ever work with Julianne Moore?
No, no, I haven't.
Big fan.
And I'm going to start off with one of my favorite movies of all time,
The Big Lebowski.
Yeah, the Julianne Moore was...
What are you doing?
Are you already cheating cheating he wants to know
how to play the game
yeah we just take turn
naming Julianne Moore movies
easy
yeah
what
Nick
wasn't my answer a tell
as to what the movie
it seemed pretty straightforward
so we just name movies
and then
we just take turns
naming movies,
see how long we can go.
No, it's Julianne Moore movies
and you get a lifeline
one time.
Okay.
So, you know,
when you run out.
But it's my turn
and I'm going to go with...
One of my favorite movies
of all time,
Boogie Nights Yeah
There we go
Now Rosa what do you got?
Magnolia
Oh yeah
I like the scene in that where she was all like screechy and unhappy
Yeah in the drugstore
My pills you don't owe me
The joke I was making is that every scene she's in Oh yeah yeah yeah screechy and unhappy yeah in the drugstore my pills you don't know me it was my the joke i
was making is that every scene she's oh yeah yeah yeah not her fault she's a great actress
but that character is like oh boy it's true yeah i mean we've all been married to a rich guy who's dying. It's no big deal.
Come on, it's Christmas.
It sucks that you guys named two movies that I knew.
Right?
That's what happens.
The people in front,
ahead of you.
That's weird you put me last.
Take the answers you need.
But you got more Julianne Moore, right?
I mean, I..., obviously I should.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I should for sure.
I was thinking about...
Hit us with another one.
I was thinking about all the times I've seen her.
Because I am a big fan.
It's a good way to figure it out.
Just picture her and then say that movie.
Yeah.
Nick, where are we at, bud? Yeah, you can use your lifeline. Nick, where are we at, bud?
Yeah, you can use your lifeline.
Nick, what do we got back there?
Still Alice.
Yep, that's the one I was thinking about.
It makes sense you'd forget.
Still Alice.
Is it still, though?
Is it still Alice?
It was an interesting trilogy.
I don't know which one I like best.
Alice in Wonderland,
Alice Through the Looking Glass,
or Still Alice.
Still Alice.
See, Alice we all knew.
All right.
See, Alice would be good too.
Okay. Okay Alright
John
Whose turn is it?
I think it was my turn
Yeah okay
Another one of my favorite movies
Of recent times
The Kids Are Alright
Yeah
Kids Are Alright
Okay
I'm gonna say
How about
I like that movie where she played
Buttons, a clown
Buttons, Alice, clown
Yes
And that was called The Ladies Man
Really? Yeah Button's Alice clown. Yes. And that was called The Ladies Man.
Really?
Yeah.
He makes fun of me.
The Tim Meadows motion picture?
With Tim Meadows.
See, he fucks a clown.
And it's her.
Okay.
Yeah, instead of
shouting out
with an orgasm,
she goes,
her, her.
What does it sound like leading up to it?
Hey, her, hey, her.
And then just a simple,
She squirts water in your face.
Dude.
I'm pretty sure she has like a squirting lapel in the movie.
I'm hurt.
Yeah.
All right.
They needed to see that.
Don't stall anymore.
I know your tactics.
Oh, is it me?
Yeah.
Yeah, pretend you don't know it's your turn.
That's another one.
No, I know I have a bunch logged up.
Okay.
Queued up.
Give us one.
Children of Men.
Oh, that's another great one.
It's a good one.
I'm thinking of Ryan Gosling.
I'm thinking of Steve Carell.
It's such a great comedic duo.
And there's a woman that left a man.
Oh, you really can't think of the title of this thing?
No.
Because now I know it when it's my turn.
You gave it to me, too.
Yeah, I wouldn't have thought of that one.
Nick, what do we got, bud?
Well, you can't just keep going to him.
I was talking to myself.
And if someone else named Nick happened to yell something out, that...
You can't think of it? You know what?
It's crazy.
I love his daughter in that, too.
Why?
Who's his daughter?
She was...
I worked with her once in an audition.
She was a model, actually.
A reality TV show.
Annalee Tipton.
Annalee, yes.
She played the babysitter.
Yeah, yeah.
She had a big thing for me.
She wasn't Steve Carell's daughter who had a crush on Steve Carell. She was the babysitter. Yeah, yeah. She had a big thing for me. She wasn't as... She wasn't Steve Carell's daughter
who had a crush on Steve Carell.
She was the babysitter.
Yes, babysitter Steve Carell.
I think we probably saw different movies, but...
The twist at the end of the movie
is Emma Stone turns out to be Steve Carell's...
Fucking Kevin Bacon?
Yeah, he's the guy.
Yeah, he's the twist.
Yeah.
That's not...
No, it's not a twist.
It wasn't a twist at all.
To me, it was a twist
because I didn't know
that he was gonna be in it
yeah he does
that's how
that's how Kevin Bacon
will do you
I was like oh
you're like
I except for Tremors
I don't
I never expect to see him
and Tremors 2
was a disappointment
wait
wait what was that movie
where Kevin Bacon
took the kids
and then he broke his leg
when he was taking
the kids on the hike?
No, Whitewater Summer?
Yeah, that's the movie.
That's Julianne Moore's in that.
Okay, so Nick is out.
You want to take your hat off?
John, do you want to say the magic words?
Those three words?
Nick, listen to this.
Nick is referring to the wonderful motion picture
Crazy Stupid Love.
Crazy Stupid Love.
I knew it.
Tip of my tongue the whole
fucking time.
Released just a few
years ago, out there in the consciousness.
Yeah, and that was a crazy title
with the period after each word.
Yeah.
Like one a month isn't enough.
I have to say
probably one of the greatest performances
ever by an actress with her pants off.
Shortcuts.
That was my next one.
That's one I was thinking about.
Maggie's plan.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, jeez.
He does make noise.
Kool-Aid's here.
Oh, yeah.
You got another one, John?
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, you do.
Chris Columbus, romantic comedy about pregnancy, nine months.
That's a good one.
I love that movie.
Yeah, that featured a jacked Jeff Goldblum.
That was the most
jacked Jeff Goldblum
guy, right?
Was he jacked?
He was Hugh Grant's
buddy.
He was always trying
to get him to go out
and work the ladies
instead of just
dealing with this
whole pregnant lady thing.
That's right.
Yeah.
All right.
He was ripped in the fly, too.
What?
He was ripped in the fly.
Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Around that time, he had like a small window there.
And the first Jurassic Park, of course.
So that leads me to...
Lost World Jurassic Park.
Yeah.
Nice.
Nice.
Oh, no.
I'm so cocky.
Well, you still got a lifeline.
Oh, shit.
Can I guess one, and if it's wrong, go to my lifeline?
No.
Oh.
Yeah, you gotta use your lifeline.
You can use your guess next time.
But if she throws out a guess, I can just say my guess.
If I don't want that guess.
If you don't want it, you don't have to take it.
What if we gave each of them two, they could ask me one?
Michelle.
I can't waste any time.
Evolution.
I'll take it.
My goodness, you're right.
Evolution.
Evolution is right.
Evolution.
There you go.
Evolution. Yeah you go. Evolution.
Yeah, good job.
Goodness.
John?
I think this was an indie directed by her husband.
It just popped into my head called Trust the Man.
Can any...
I'm pretty...
We have one guy confirming it.
Trust the man.
One judge trying to either confirm it or
having a public orgasm.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Alright, I'm going to have to look that one up later.
You might have pulled a fast one.
I'm just going to trust that man.
Trust that man.
Trust the man. The trust man?
Trust the man.
Trust the man.
Thank you.
Well, this guy says it's legit over here.
Thank you.
These are three paid people he brought in.
I thought she did a lovely job as a dying lesbian cop in a movie called Freeheld.
Did that come out? So that's what you saw when you just looked on your phone there for a second? Freeheld. Ah! Oh. Did that come out?
So that's what you saw when you just looked on your phone there for a second?
I don't have my phone.
You're out.
What are you even doing on stage?
Good point.
Play the cannon sound.
Let's get rid of this guy.
What was that one
you were going to guess
earlier?
Benny and June.
Really?
She's in Benny and June?
No, Michelle!
Are you sure?
This guy's confirming it.
He's confirming it.
He's really,
the way he was clapping.
Or he's confirming
an orgasm.
I was a tour de force.
You're making love.
Did you come?
Yeah, I'm clapping.
What other signals do you need?
Oh my goodness.
I'm blanking.
I may need the help of our idiot Brandon.
And I'm just referring to his poster.
And his lifestyle.
Brandon.
Hannibal?
Hannibal.
Hannibal.
Hannibal.
Thank you, Brandonibal Thank you Brandon
This is getting ugly
Oh was that
What?
Was she in his last stand up special?
Hannibal Buress
Yep
What a cool cameo
She's just in the audience laughing.
They cut to her.
It's like Cat Williams' old specials
where you have like Jamie Foxx out there.
He did some crowd with her.
He's like, what up, freckles?
Is it my turn again?
I'm so excited about this.
Thanks to the whole Benny and June thing.
I remember
she was in some stuff
before she was like
a lead in stuff
and one of the first places
I noticed her
and liked her a lot
was a movie
with Rebecca De Mornay
called
The Hand That Rocks
oh
what's the title
The Cradle
yeah
yeah
I didn't know it had
every word in there
thank you for your help.
She's in The Hand That Rocks the Cradle?
The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, yeah.
She's like the best friend who she gets fucking killed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The stairs part?
That's the saddest part.
I'm sorry.
Was that the stairs part?
Spoiler alert.
Oh, man.
That's scary, too.
Yeah, that really shook me.
But that title confused me because there's also...
What was the thing with Tim Robbins and Jack Black?
Create a Will Rock.
Yeah, okay.
Can I say 30 Rock?
Well, I mean, you're allowed to say anything you want.
Do I have another lifeline?
That's not going to be a correct answer.
No, you just get the one.
Oh, no, but I love her.
Oh, you thought you get two and Nick just gets one?
Yes. Oh, no, but I love her. Oh, you thought you get two and Nick just gets one? Yeah, so if you don't have anything else.
No, let me think.
You did great, though.
Someone's voicing something out there.
No, yeah, we got to wrap it up because The D&D game out in the comic book store
might flow in here
and turn into a
riot.
You're tapped too?
You go first.
Oh, I passed.
But you went to your lifeline first. Oh, I passed. You're done. Yeah.
But you went to your lifeline?
I did, I did.
He gave me, I don't even remember the name. And this is one of those things if you would have just cast her in one of your fucking movies.
I know, I know, I know.
She's desperate to be in it.
Billy just whipped in one of my comedies.
Her career's not good enough.
I'm done.
I can't think of any more.
What are we going to do to
solve this? You have to say one more, right?
Well, I can say plenty more.
Not plenty, but
the next one I was going to say is Safe.
Safe! That's a classic.
Oh, no!
How do we decide who wins
between John and Rosa?
I guess
I guess
Hang on.
I did like the hats suggestion.
Like what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Okay.
Did I win?
I don't think it's whoever grabs
and puts on the hats the fastest.
Shit. She did it.
She got it. She did it. Oh, my God. She got it.
She got it.
Who was the last person to say a correct answer?
John.
Would be John.
So John is our winner.
Yes.
Thank you, Brandon.
Good job, John.
Thank you.
Come on up and get your prizes.
What was the name of the person?
Brandon.
Brandon.
Brandon, come get your stuff.
Get some stuff.
Get some swag.
The hats are going in.
For the listeners, Nick is not trying to keep all the hats and shirts and stuff.
He's doing a good job of giving it all back.
Brandon.
Very sexy.
I'm going to help.
Chippendales should do that.
Just wear too many things
that fit strangely
and peel them all off to great
acclaim.
Bring it in.
Congratulations, Brandon.
Congrats, Brandon. Congrats, Brandon.
Spread out all your prizes.
I'm sorry, Michelle.
Take a picture of all your prizes
and put it on the internet
and I'll retweet it or whatever.
Feels like they just turned the AC on.
Do you want your lovely name tag back?
This very low-rent poster you did?
Okay.
If Nick and Rosa could pass me their stuffs.
So, John Hamburg, congratulations not only on winning,
but also people are probably watching Why Me as we speak
at the Thursday night screenings.
Well, you and my mom have both now called it Why Me.
It's called Why Him.
My mom came to the premiere Saturday night
Played great
Went back to New York
It's just
Why Me is the funniest movie
I've ever seen
And that's not the title at all
If the critic hated that movie
What a shitty review
Just two words
Why me
Why me exactly
Exactly
Exactly
Yep
But critics are not hating it
And our buddies
Zach Perlman and Adam Devine
are in it
Keegan-Michael Key
also amazing
when did you do the casting?
was Nick busy?
or was he wearing too many hats
at the time?
you know what he was doing?
he was in that part
where he was in an audition
with Annalie Tipton.
We really had
a great connection, yeah.
Yeah.
They were waiting for,
you know,
someone to call them
into a room,
casting room.
Well, thank you so much
for being here, dude.
You're a great guest.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Thank you, guys.
And of course,
Nick Thune
was also here tonight.
Was he?
I hope that's what people kind of take away.
Was that him?
Yeah.
I really like, I just like what you do with clothes.
You don't put it on the right way ever.
It's just a fun, fun approach to clothing.
It's a new, yeah, it's a new way to look at it.
Who's this?
I'm trying to figure out a joke
about your whole look right now.
There's just too much going on.
But the shirt
where you just wear it on your shoulders and don't
put your arms in the sleeves is really
topping it off nicely.
It's like you look kind of like a
dock worker who might get chilly.
Yeah.
Could.
You look like you
bought all that stuff at Older Navy.
but just by all means watch Nick's
see-saw special
to just see
what he wears
on that
all khaki
oh it is?
straight khaki
up and down
yeah
okay
thanks for being here dude
thank you Okay. Thanks for being here, dude.
And Rosa Salazar is in Night Owls.
I should have mangled that title.
What would your mom call Night Owls?
What would she call it?
Johnny, I saw Nightbirds
and it was
the funniest movie.
Louis Salazar's in it, and some other people.
And you're currently working on a,
you're in a James Cameron project?
I'm in a James Cameron, Robert Rodriguez movie
called Alita, Battle Angel, based on a manga.
Oh.
It's a manga.
There was a lot of information in that sentence you said.
And are they still casting that?
Yeah, is there a part?
Backstage he took the hat and then he went,
so are they still, can you get me involved?
I'm going to try.
It's a good approach to getting work.
Yeah, yeah.
Just always ask.
I go to like Q&As, like when they show movies,
I go to Q&As and ask they show movies, I go to Q&As and ask if they're still casting.
Are you still casting this finished motion picture?
Hey, I got a question.
Was I in that?
And why not?
Did you guys cut me out?
Thank you, Rosa Salazar, and all three of you for being
delightful.
I blew myself.
My fingers.
What was the hashtag for this episode?
Somebody said one earlier. It was a good one.
I forgot it.
Something about hats.
Hattastrophe.
Hashtag best of 2016.
Okay.
I'll throw that on there.
And I'm going to be doing Douglas movies right back here at Meltdown Comics on Tuesday January 3rd
at 9 o'clock
so have a great holiday season
all you LA friends
and fans
and
as always
the Mandela effect
is a shithead
wasn't it Mandela effect is a shithead.
Wasn't it Mandela effect?
I don't know.
I'm not going to Mandela-splain it to you.
A cat's that shit in your bed while you're sleeping are a shithead.