Doug Loves Movies - Ross Marquand, Theo Von, Scoot McNairy and Justin Thompson guest
Episode Date: June 14, 2016Live from the Punchline in Atlanta, Doug welcomes Ross Marquand, Theo Von, Scoot McNairy and Justin Thompson to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Priva...cy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey everybody, this episode was recorded the day before the horrible nightclub attack in Orlando, Florida.
So I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts have been with everyone affected by that terrible incident,
and that I'll be back to Orlando as soon as I can fit it into my schedule.
Now let's go to Atlanta, Georgia.
There were some audio issues in this ep, but we worked them out.
Enjoy.
Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds
With 50 azobot for kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Movies Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is I Love Movies
Very nice
Oh, the daylight is coming in
through the windows.
That might be a first on this show.
Although we did do one out of doors a couple of times.
Let me get my piece of paper out so I can do this all proper-like.
It's also all the lighting is coming from not the direction I need it.
Coming to you for the first time from the newly reopened Punchline Comedy Club in Atlanta, Georgia!
That's right, you guys.
No more zombie barn.
Now we're in an intimate lounge in the back of a diner.
And so big food upgrade here at the club.
So that's nice.
It's Saturday, June 11th, 2016.
Show me those hot name tags, Atlanta.
And I know you brought name tags.
And a lot of them.
Oh, goodness.
People sitting in the back
have really shitty seats right now.
What happened to Doug?
Where did Doug go?
Oh, he's behind all these giant posters.
Big Travis and Little China.
I like it.
Shay out of Compton.
Because your name is Shay.
That's your first name?
I go by it.
You go by it.
It's your nickname?
It's your street name?
I like it.
The Royal Tenenbobbies.
Very nice.
Abe, a pig in the city.
Is that your face on the pig, Abe?
Good job, Abe
Doug and Julia
because your name is Julia
I hope, not Doug
nice lady
Life of Brian, you didn't have to change shit on that
did you, Brian?
good work, Brian
and then
Bethany Given Sunday is right behind Life of Brian.
And did I see that one on Twitter?
There was an issue with the printers or something?
Yeah, they cut my face off.
They cut your face off at the printers.
They wouldn't print the whole thing.
That's weird.
But at least your name's on there, Bethany.
And good luck to everybody.
Great job, Steel Nicolias.
Excellent, excellent work, as always.
I can always count on Atlanta.
On the other hand, Doug Plugs, Los Angeles,
you sons of bitches.
All these people made name tags,
and you guys need to, too,
because I'm going to be back on Monday night at Meltdown Comics.
Minneapolis, Doug Loves Movies next Saturday at 420 at the Women's Club of Minneapolis.
And Seattle, tickets are on sale now for Doug Loves Movies
at the Neptune Theater on Friday night, September 2nd.
DougLovesMovies.com, that's DougLovesMovies.com.
We played Last Man Stanton here at the Punchline Thursday night.
And I was collecting the shitheads from all the participants.
And one of them was on a Post-it that I just slipped into my pocket.
And I never read it out loud on the show.
So I'm going to say it now.
The two-party system is a shithead.
Yeah.
It would have been a good one.
From the corrections department, the movie
Andre Vermillion was
trying to think of
with the woman leaping to her death
was Color of Night starring
Bruce Willis. A lot of people thought it might
be Lethal Weapon.
Because that begins with a suicide of a lady
or maybe a suicide but
and Andre told me that she would like everyone to know that color of night
ruined her childhood and Jim Carrey started man on the moon not man in the
moon yeah I said it wrong and it drove people crazy let's check out the prize bag you guys from
from audience member allison today she brought a copy of borat on dvd that's very nice and uh i
brought a cd of a beck called. I don't know if that's a double
or if that's one of his boring ones.
Not sure why I put it in there.
A book that somebody gave me.
I flew all the way across the country with this book.
Marijuana Horticulture Fundamentals.
So yeah, whoever wins today,
keep me up to date on your progress
as a home marijuana grower.
Speaking of marijuana, there's a nice rubber pipe from the folks at Peacemaker.
And from my personal VHS collection.
Episode 104 of the reality show High School Reunion.
Oh shit, What happened?
Oh, okay.
I put the other one down. I just thought
I brought two copies of the same thing.
So stupid.
And an episode
of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Becoming
part one.
I think. Is that the one where Angel fucks her and then he becomes evil?
Oh, no!
The rubber pipe fell off the ground.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much.
You know, it's good that you're there,
because that sort of thing's probably going to happen a lot today.
Let's get my guests up here on the stage.
As you can see, we've got four chairs,
which means four awesome people are here.
Please, everybody, give a nice, warm welcome
to Justin Thompson, Theo Vaughn, Scoot McNary,
and Russ Marquand!
Russ Marquand! Get up here. Mark Juan! Ross Mark Juan!
Get up here.
Scoot on up here, Mr. McNary.
Justin!
What a strapping crew of individuals.
This looks like a... This doesn't look like movie trivia contests.
This looks like a lumberjack.
Lumberjack event.
Why you got your camera there
poised and ready to go?
Theo, what's going on there?
Oh, just letting my mom's in wonder what I'm up to.
And she just thinks I'm just lonely,
and I'm like, no, there's a little more to my life than that.
So what are you going to...
You're going to take a picture of the audience or us or what?
Maybe if everybody...
Could you get everybody to say Doug loves movies?
That would be really cool.
I don't know.
It's pretty hard to get them to do something in unison.
Okay.
Then I'll just stop.
Like I do at the top of every show.
Oh, you're going to record it?
No, now I'm not.
I mean, I would. I just feel uncomfortable now.
Let's just stop.
That's just the southern heat that you're feeling.
It is spicy.
It's like a constant hug.
And you're just like, get the fuck off me for
two seconds.
And that's called air conditioning.
I recommend it.
It's like a hug from a wet woman.
Now you've made it sound a lot better.
For at least half of us.
Let's go down the line.
Meet everybody all down the row. Let's start on the line, meet everybody all down the row.
Let's start on the opposite end there.
Ross Marquand is here, you guys.
Hello.
I could never get a cast member from Walking Dead into the zombie bar,
and the timing was always off, but we finally did it over here.
And that's why you're in town, right? Shooting
the next season?
Maybe.
Yeah. Because it kind of, isn't it potentially a spoiler that you need to be here? Could
be flashbacks?
I'm not here for anything in particular. I just love Georgia.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, because when last we left you,
you're one of, what is it, nine people?
Ten.
Ten people who one of you is going to get clubbed to death
at the beginning of the next season,
which is ruining my summer.
Then I have to spend the whole time worried
that one of you is going to get clubbed to death
because there's nobody I would rather...
You know what I mean?
There's not one character that I'm like,
that's the one that should get it.
I feel bad for all of them,
and I feel bad for the ones that have to watch it happen.
That Jeffrey Dean Morgan is not a nice man.
I know that's not his character name,
but I'm going to judge him from now on
based on that behavior.
Fucking Negan.
So, all right, I won't ask you any questions about it then
since you can't really talk about it.
I can't say shit.
But congratulations on surviving.
I'm not saying that at all.
I'm not saying that at all.
And sitting next to him is the sad man who needs some warm hugs.
It's Theo Vaughn, everybody.
Thank you, Doug. At first he was just saying thank you with his mic in his lap.
I thought it was some sort of conscientious objector or something.
Yeah, I'm not following protocol, really.
No? I don't know what you're doing with your knee right now.
Just being casual.
Those pants look comfortable.
Super casual move.
You're headlining all weekend here at the Punchline in Indiana.
Yeah, I am. Thank you.
If you haven't seen him yet, come back.
If you have seen him, see him again.
He does 100% different material every show.
That's demanding now.
Yeah, you have to.
You got three shows to do tonight.
Yeah, we got three shows, so it's going to be a real...
I mean, anything could happen.
Someone's fired up back there or just...
Yeah, has autism, a little
something, but...
Everybody's welcome.
As long as you pay that admission fee.
You are welcome to join Theo
for one of his three shows later tonight.
And then also, if you have Netflix,
he's got a special on there.
Yeah, called No Offense.
No Offense.
Yeah, and it's a satire.
It's about a football team that only defends themselves.
There's no offense.
I think that's Georgia Tech.
Ah! Sorry. Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Sports.
Also joining us on the panel today, very excited to have him back for his second appearance
is Scoot McNary everybody
every time you come on to one of Doug's shows
you feel like you're going to get fired
off the job that you're on or something
what you did to Steve?
what happened?
what's that?
you just dropped the bomb that he was in the
oh that's right I said something about Steve Agee What happened? What's that? AG. You just dropped the bomb that he was in the...
Oh, that's right.
I said something about Steve AG not being able to do an episode of this show.
Yeah, and you sort of dropped the bomb that you're, you know...
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm just here.
I'm just here.
I'm just here in Georgia.
Love in Georgia.
Quite literally.
Just love in Georgia.
Seeing the sights you've been seeing for the last three years.
Just love in Georgia.
I just love Georgia. Can't get enough of it seeing for the last three years. Just loving Georgia. I just love Georgia.
Can't get enough of it.
I can't get enough of it.
Yeah.
Scoot, you're a real instigator.
For instance, when you lost your legs in Metropolis or wherever the hell you were,
and then you caused all that trouble for Superman,
just because you lost your legs,
don't you recognize him from Batman vs. Superman? Superman, just because you lost your legs.
Don't you recognize him from Batman v Superman? He's the reason that Superman is dead now.
Thanks a lot, Scoot.
Have you taken any personal heat over that?
None, none that I know of.
You're not on Twitter or anything?
No. No? No.
No?
No.
And you're here shooting,
I hear you survived to season two of Halt and Catch Fire.
Season three.
Three?
I'm sorry, three.
And I'm not dead yet.
Yeah, you're hanging in there.
You're going to be through the whole season.
And when does that season appear on the AMC?
Ooh.
I don't know.
I think it's August 27th, maybe.
But maybe it's September 27th.
Yeah, okay.
Maybe it's not even either one of those days.
Plenty of time for The Walking Dead to come back a few weeks later.
Yes, yes.
That's cool.
And Justin Thompson is here, you guys.
Hey, everybody.
and Justin Thompson is here you guys hey everybody
all the listeners first met you on the
Greenville South Carolina show
it was a lot of fun
that was a good one
and then the other night here at this very stage
you went to battle with me against the audience members
in Last Man Stanton
that didn't go so well
I can't judge a man for not knowing
a lot of Demi Moore movies.
Doesn't seem like that'd be
something you need to know, really.
Yeah, I'm getting by just fine.
Yeah, you're doing alright.
It hasn't really disrupted my life
that much up until this point, but we'll see
how it goes from here on out.
Alright, well let's start with you and see what you brought
for the prize bag today.
Okay, I brought a couple things called old merch.
This is a sticker that has my name on it
and says Justin Thompson tours you a new one.
Very clever, and I did a tour
with a couple other Atlanta guys
and brought some stuff that we had left over.
It's working remotely, a standup comedy tour.
We got a koozie and a medium shirt.
Beautiful medium-sized t-shirt.
Striking color.
Or if someone, you know, is pregnant with a boy,
you can give this to them.
Yes.
It's very boy blue.
Yeah, and it says our names.
A couple other Atlanta guys, Moe Aurora and Dan Amke,
you're on there, and my face, too.
It's a nice gift.
Keep doubting it. It is wonderful. wonderful it's very soft and I also cleared out a few DVDs from the personal collection criterion collection
life aquatic this makes me laugh so much radiant Radiant Fireplace 2. What is it?
I had that.
It looks like a really radiant fireplace.
There's no colon, sir.
Shay.
Here's the tagline.
Shot in high definition.
Don't worry if you didn't see the first one.
They explain it all in the first one.
Oh, there's a recap at the beginning?
Previously on Radiant Fireplace.
Yeah.
It answers all the questions you had
from Radiant Fireplace the first.
And the reason I'm getting rid of it,
the DVD, is because I have it on Blu-ray now.
So we're good.
It's the perfect season
for just popping in a Fireplace video.
Just cozying up to it.
All right, let's go down to the other end down there with Ross
and see what he's got for the bag.
So, as we all know, Halloween's just around the corner.
So I got an adorable little ghost.
This little ghost hanging from a tree.
It's hilarious.
He's got a pumpkin.
It's great.
So that's one thing.
That is nice.
I was in San Antonio, Texas.
They've never heard of it.
I got a little sombrero
in San Antonio, Texas.
Aw.
You might be the first guest
who's traveled to get stuff for the band.
Everyone loves
Hotel Transylvania, right?
Hotel Transylvania 2
Happy Meal toy?
Adam Sandler's finest?
What child did you take that from?
Or did you order a Happy Meal?
I did order a Happy Meal.
I was in Philly last year and I met Bam Margera.
You guys know Bam Margera?
Sure.
And he has a CD.
Do you guys know about this?
It's called Fuck Face Unstoppable.
Not even kidding.
Fuck Face Unstoppable. Like there was one fuck face that was totally stoppable, Not even kidding. Fuck face unstoppable.
Like there was one fuck face that was totally stoppable,
but he's the unstoppable one.
It's called fuck face unstoppable.
And then I was in Japan.
I did travel everywhere for this.
I was at a convention, and a fan gave me this.
It's a zombie face mask.
So this clears out your pores, apparently.
I don't read or speak Japanese, so I'm not sure.
I tried Google Translate.
It didn't work.
So I'm not sure what's in this.
You might not want to put it on your face.
But there you go.
So those are my gifts.
Thank you.
Lovely contributions.
What do you got, Theo?
Well, my gifts aren't as strong as this fellow's,
that's for sure, buddy.
Would you just rather not talk about it?
I mean, I feel like that kind of...
I feel like the cheap family member at Christmas.
Some people go way overboard.
That's why you're not last. The last gift is crazy today. Okay, I way overboard. That's why you're not last.
The last gift is crazy today.
Okay, I went under board.
I got my album.
My first album, it's called Midgets vs. Cats.
Thank you.
Because I saw...
Well, this does come from a sentimental place.
I saw two cats attack a midget in Hermosa Beach.
And I did.
And it's been on my heart.
And so I got that.
And then I have a 50 milligram of Sertraline.
That's generic Zoloft.
Wait, maybe you did bring the best thing.
Yep.
And the funny thing is, I need it today
because I'm on the road for eight days and I only have eight,
but I'm willing to sacrifice that and give that to somebody else who needs it.
And I'll make it up to whoever if they win with me.
If that's how it works.
I don't even know the rules of the game.
I don't watch a lot of movies.
We don't have a lot of that.
You did all right the last time you were on, though.
I didn't.
Also, someone that...
I like Family Man. Have y'all seen that?
Isn't it good?
When he's at the airport and she's
leaving.
You talked about this the last time.
Yeah.
We should do a special episode.
Doug loves Family Man. That I would know about. Doug and episode. Doug loves Family Man.
Yeah, that I would know about.
Doug and Theo hashing out Family Man.
We bought a house in Jersey.
We've got two kids,
Annie and Josh.
That's from Family Man?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's good.
All the great lines from that movie.
I'm going to the store.
Nicolas Cage?
What was that?
Yes, Nicolas Cage, brother.
It just hits you right in the heart hard.
You better don't watch it alone.
I wouldn't.
Well, hopefully that'll come up today.
It might be one of the answers.
Yeah.
And Scoot, tell us what you brought, buddy,
because this is crazy.
So crazy.
Call me a major.
This is the crazy one.
This is a Lord of the Rings
coloring book.
I want that.
This is the kind of crowds I have to deal with.
They get that excited.
It's a limited edition,
and this is like 500 of like 25,000.
So that's pretty cool.
I'll pass that down.
Only 25,000 of these exist.
And then this is a PlayStation.
What?
And then this is a PlayStation. What?
What?
And I'm not really donating it, so I can't take full credit for that.
Tell us the story of this PlayStation.
Well, I mean it's an Xbox.
Xbox.
I play video games all the time
I feel like you're sponsored
and you forgot who your sponsor was
I'm happy because now we might get
kick-summing for both companies
So it's an Xbox
Xbox One
And Matt Lillard came on our show
and he bought it
at the
I'm assuming
the Target, because it was in a Target bag sitting over
at our house. And I was like, whose
Xbox is this? It's just been sitting here
for weeks. So we figured it out.
It was Matt Lillard's. And I was like, Matt,
your Xbox is over here. And he's like, I don't want it.
Just
give it away to some kid.
And so as I was running out
the door, I was like, what do I bring?
And I was like, I'll bring that Xbox.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Someone who's a kid at heart is going to win this today.
And for some reason,
I don't know if they sell them like this,
but when I went to grab it,
the controller wasn't in the box.
And I swear we grab it, like, the controller wasn't in the box. And I swear
we didn't steal this, but...
Maybe there's a piece
when it was repacked or whatever
that... Because Matt played it
once or twice, so his name may be on there
when you plug it in, so...
You may have to...
All your high scores are just going to be Matt?
We got a beer down?
He only played it for a week.
I don't know how high his scores got.
Well, you know, that's the great thing, you guys.
You know who Matthew Lillard is, right?
When you guys, whoever wins this,
when you're playing it with your friends
or when they come over and go,
what's that box in the corner?
You can say, Shaggy gave me that.
That's a pretty nice distinction.
Alright, so all of that stuff is going in the prize bag.
Good job, gentlemen.
This is one of the better ones.
You're welcome.
It's more than one bag.
That's how good it is.
Let's start on the other end with Ross.
And you have to answer the question I ask everybody on every episode.
And that is, what was the last movie you saw?
And I will answer that.
But I do want to just go back to what we were talking about before to Scoot's point.
There's like a thousand things being shot out here right now.
So it doesn't say anything.
I'm not spoiling anything.
Anyway.
The last, you know,
there's Marvel movies.
Maybe I'm on
Halt and Catch Fire.
You never know.
Maybe I'm on
The Walking Dead.
You never know.
We do a trade-off thing.
Last movie I saw was
Captain America Team Police.
World Police,
Civil War.
That was good, yeah.
You likey? I likey. Yeah, I like it a lot.
How many of the Avengers do you do impressions of?
I don't think I'd do...
I would do a fast Robert Downey Jr. or something.
Really fast Robert Downey Jr. I don't know.
I've never really tried it.
I've never tried it.
If you keep saying his name over and over,
we'll believe it.
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
I'm Iron Man.
I don't know.
I've never tried it.
I've never tried it.
I should try that.
Yeah, you could probably do a good Cheetle, I bet.
Bet you could do a Cheetle.
A Cheetle.
I think it's Pacino, yeah.
Yeah, I know you could do Pacino.
Do Pacino if he was Iron Man.
Whoa, here I am.
Thing in my heart.
Can't believe it.
It's burning.
I've got all this rage down here.
You can't fucking believe it.
Crazy.
I am Iron Man.
Theo, same question.
Do an impression of... I only have one impression.
Oh, you do have one?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that's fun. What is it?
Um...
Your natural voice is kind of McConaughey-esque.
I know what it is. It's, uh...
Oh, it's Morgan Freeman's.
They said it would take a man 600 years
to get out of this here prison.
But Andy Dufresne did it in less than 20.
That's it.
The beginning of it's a little better than... And that line, of course, is from March of the Penguins.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's such a fucking great idea.
Who does fucking Mortimer Unifersonations,
but they're all from March of the Penguins?
It was cold out there
for them little boys.
I thought he did
Mr. Popper's Penguins. Didn't he voice over that?
Mm-mm.
No.
That's the wrong Jim Carrey,
Morgan Freeman movie.
What was the last movie you saw, Theo?
Could be in any format. It doesn't have to be
in a theater. No, I know what it was. It was
Underworld.
Something with the underworld in it.
What is that movie with the underworld?
Underworld?
Oh, Waterworld. No.
But there's a few Underworld movies.
The titles are confusing.
Underworld, Overworld.
I want to have a big shark at the end.
Oh, Jurassic Waterworld.
But in Spanish.
Actually, I saw it in Spanish.
Dinosaurios.
Jurassic World.
Jurassic World.
There you go.
In Espanol.
You nailed it.
El Parque de Dinosaurios.
I did.
I did.
I watched it.
Do the dinosaurs speak Spanish too?
Were they dubbed by Spanish dinosaurs?
Yeah, do you have a Spanish dinosaur version?
Dios mio, un meteor.
I'm like,
no.
I got
a...
That's Bart Simpson.
Eat my shorts.
So, uh,
let's move on
to Scoot Scoot
I know you're busy, you know
You're busy shooting many days a week here
But do you have time to see movies at all?
I watched Tombstone
Uh, like
I think like a week ago
That was the first movie I watched in a couple months
You'd seen it before?
Yeah, yeah, not too many times
But it's a great movie
Great movie.
Val Kilmer's amazing.
No, I started watching Hateful Eight.
Is that the Quentin Tarantino one?
You're confusing Tombstone with Hateful Eight?
No, no, I watched them both.
But when I saw the Hateful Eight, I remember Kurt Russell,
and I was like, I want to go back and watch Tombstone.
Oh, okay, that's cool.
Yeah, they're both great.
I love me some Kurt Russell.
Bone Tomahawk, you gotta see that.
Oh, that's what someone told me when I was telling them I'd watch
Tombstone. They're like, gotta see Bone Tomahawk.
You will complete the
Kurt Russell crazy western mustache
trilogy.
If you see that. It might be my favorite
of the three, but I've said too much.
Justin.
Earlier today I saw half of the three, but I've said too much. Justin. Earlier today I saw half of The Usual Suspects.
Yeah.
And then...
The find out what happened half or the what's going on half?
The first half, so don't ruin it for me.
Weird.
You already know how it ends though, right?
I think that Kevin Spacey's a good actor, you know?
What does that have to do with anything?
I don't know.
I'll see the rest later.
I've never seen it.
And it has been spoiled how it is?
I know how it is.
Oh, okay.
I know, right?
People are so sad for you.
I'm glad you guys are on my side.
The last movie I saw incomplete was Room.
That was great.
Yeah?
Yeah, it was really good.
Big fan of that.
Loved it. I was... You know, yeah. It was really good. Big fan of that. Loved it.
I was, you know, I just love seeing women be held down.
No, I loved it.
That movie, like, the second half was still very good and exciting, you know, not to give
anything away.
It was just a great script.
Yeah, I enjoyed that movie a great deal.
Yeah, I liked it.
You saw that too?
I'm pretty sure I did.
The room?
Not the room.
The room.
Just room.
Yeah, I think I was just looking at something on Zillow.
I don't even...
My bad, guys.
I'm in my head.
Hey, Ross, do Al Pacino doing an advertisement for Zillow.
Okay. Here's the deal.
We've got listings aplenty.
You want a studio, you want a big house,
you want a fucking room, we got them all.
I just wanted to hear Al Pacino say Zillow
and you didn't say it once.
Zillow.
Oh, what was the last movie I saw?
I was watching Bring It On in the hotel room.
You don't need to know what else I was doing.
Now it's the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin.
Gentlemen, look at all these name tags.
We've got an amazing, dazzling array of name tags for you to choose from.
Ooh, I like that.
So just get up from your seats and go physically grab the name tag of the person you'd like to play for.
Life Aquatic one.
And while you do that, we'll do this one right back.
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Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
That was intense.
I think you guys got some good ones.
Let's start with Ross down on the end.
Who are you playing for, Ross?
Man, I am playing for the Benpire Strikes Back.
Oh, that is beautiful.
It's got T.J. Miller and Moshe Kasher
and Jeff Tate and, of course,
Billy Dee Williams.
No reason to cover him up.
And then Ben is
the Jedi in the front.
That's you, Ben.
And then my giant head.
That's Darth Vader.
I can't even fit on my stupid head.
Did you guys know that Darth Vader was a Zika baby?
I don't know.
It didn't seem so bad in my head.
Poor Zika babies.
All right.
Theo, who you got there?
I got...
Blades of Lori.
Yeah.
Yeah, and that's Lori and me out on the ice.
Yeah, you look nice out there.
But they also managed to get a little Theo in there.
And why does it say hams and G-pigs on there?
Well, they just busted a man actually in our town
with a 30-pound bag of hamster bones on him.
I can't believe I didn't know about that.
Yeah, they got him
Finally
How many hamsters do you have to murder to get 30,000 bones?
I'm not getting into it today dude
You know oddly there's 15,000 bones in a hamster
So it's only two of those little guys
They have very little bone, A little bit in the chest plate
You can't even make a wish on him at Thanksgiving
You can't
Trust me I know all about it
So yeah I'm playing for Lori
But mine doesn't have anything on the back
Does it have a special certificate
He's supposed to put a shithead on the back
But you know maybe she
I thought she wrote that to me Maybe she's supposed to put a shithead on the back, but, you know, maybe she... I thought she wrote that to me.
She didn't trust you not to read it out loud.
Maybe she's confident she thinks he's gonna win.
Yeah, yeah, because if you win, it won't matter.
Are we supposed to open the shithead?
No, I'll do that at the end.
Okay, okay, okay.
I'll take care of it later.
You don't have to worry about it.
What do you got there, Scoot?
I got...
I'm playing for Reagan,
but Indiana Jones, Reagan of...
Does that make sense? Reagan of the Lost Ark? Reagan of the Lost Ark., but Indiana Jones, Reagan of... Does that make sense?
Reagan of the Lost Ark?
Reagan of the Lost Ark, instead of Raiders.
Got it, got it, got it.
Got it.
Nice.
Nice.
Clever.
And then my face taped over Indiana Jones.
And some donuts hanging.
And then there's donuts hanging off the sides,
like, I don't remember that scene from that movie.
And then a whole box of
doughnuts at your feet yeah and that came with the sign yeah just in case any
of these fall off I can replace them quickly hold the whole thing up the whole
time you can set it down if you want But just set it down face up so I can reference Reagan on occasion.
Or don't, that's cool.
Who you playing for, Justin?
I'm playing for the Life of Katic with Steve Zissou.
So your name's Steve?
Her name's Kate.
Okay, that makes sense.
Yeah, so I feel like we were, you know,
I'm glad I happened to pick that movie
that I didn't want to see again.
And you had this really awesome diorama that you made,
and it's got a little submarine with Kate and Doug's faces in it?
Yeah, it's beautiful.
It looks great.
I saw it on Twitter today.
Very nice.
And I thought, well, we'll see if Justin finds that out in the audience since he brought the DVD.
I didn't. Ross pointed it out.
Oh, good. Good eye, Ross.
I like people who choose name tags for more than just themselves.
It's a very refreshing attitude.
It gave me less anxiety, you know, when I didn't have to decide.
Ain't less anxiety, you know, when I have to decide.
It was tough, and there's a lot of donuts in the house,
and congratulations for getting them in here.
And thank you to the Punchline for allowing people to bring in donuts.
Some comedy clubs are like, uh-uh.
We serve chicken wings.
We don't need you loading up on donuts.
And I meant to say chicken fingers, but it still worked.
All right, so let's start off with a game that is just taking on the world.
I don't know what that means.
People love it.
It's called Purple Rain Man.
People love it. It's called Purple Rain Man.
And it's basically just like the title suggests.
It's two movie titles jammed together into one title.
I'll give you the cast of a mash-up movie,
and you tell me the title.
All three of you can guess as often as you'd like.
And I'll start with the third-billed stars of these two movies and then work my way up
until when I tell you the stars
of the movies, hopefully
it won't. You'll be able
to figure it out.
I don't think it's an easy
one.
But it's also not a difficult one.
It's medium.
Suspense is killing me.
The third-billed stars of this movie mashup
are Casey Affleck and Thomas Mitchell.
What is it? So Casey Affleck is Thomas Mitchell. What is it?
So Casey Affleck is in the first title
and Thomas Mitchell is in the second
and they mash up together, these two titles.
Gone Baby Gone Girl?
All of us.
Not a bad guess, dude.
But incorrect.
Here's the next pair.
Actors.
Oh, it's other people?
Ed Harris and Vivian Lee.
Gone Baby Gone with the Wind.
That's correct!
Ross Marquand takes it!
You got it.
And of course the stars were Morgan Freeman and Clark Gable.
So Theo, real quick, a little Morgan Freeman in Gone, Baby Gone with the Wind.
I've always depended upon the kindness of strangers.
Yes.
of strangers.
And, um... you shouldn't fight anymore, baby,
because you're in a concussion.
You're thinking of Million Dollar Baby.
Oh, my bad.
Yeah, I'm just gonna...
But that is great advice.
Do not fight when you're in a concussion.
Tell the truth!
Alright, so Ross, good job.
All you win for that is you get to go first
in the next game.
It's the last game that's going to
really matter,
so just have fun with it, you guys.
And I'd like to play a brand new game.
We beta tested it once.
I think I've got it worked out.
Ron Bennington's Mojo Rising,
or the Adjusted for Inflation Bureau.
Yeah.
Ross gets to go first, then we'll go to Theo, Scoot, and Justin.
And each of you get to guess a movie that might be in the top three of all time of a particular actor that I named.
And this is Adjusted for Ticket Price Inflation by Box Office Mojo.
And if you name the number one movie, you get three points.
If you name the number two movie, you get two.
And the number three movie, you get one.
And the first person to five points
is going to win this thing.
That's how it works out, I think.
And we'll see if it works.
And so Ross gets to go first.
And I'm going to name this actor,
and he gets to name one movie.
So you want to try to name the best box office performance
that person's ever had with inflation adjustment.
And then each of you has to guess a different movie.
So there's worst performance,
but the most money the movie ever made.
I mean, it's the same thing.
There's no worst part. It's just...
But the movie
we name is whatever made
the most money. Yeah.
After an adjustment for inflation.
Gone with the winds, the number one movie
of all time if you adjust for inflation.
You rang? All right, so starting with Ross, just tell me what you think might be in the top three
of all time movies for, had to do her to get it out of the way, Amy Adams.
So what do you think is the top Amy Adams movie of all time?
Wow, wow, I'm gonna say,
I did see Doug and Julia, which made me laugh.
Was that you?
That was very funny.
I think it's gonna be Catch Me If You Can.
All right, that's his guess. Moving down to
Theo. Just probably want to name
any Amy Adams movie you can think of.
I'm gonna go with probably
like, what do you think, probably?
I mean, if you had to ballpark it
Don't give me one
What's that
Like yeah
Enchanted
Okay don't do that you guys
Okay sorry someone cheated
It's all yeah
Somebody cheated
But he's going with enchanted
Well I can go with something different dude
No I know a movie that she was in actually
Oh she was in a movie called
Nope
She was not in Family Man dude
It's T. Leone dude
My best Uh, nope. She was not in Family Man, dude. It's T. Leone, dude.
Do not cross him on Family Man.
Sorry.
He knows that shit.
Uh, I think it's My Best Friend's Wedding.
Okay.
Should have gone with Enchanted.
Let's move on to Scoot.
What do you think is the top Amy Adams movie? Can I ask a question?
You just did.
I'm gonna say...
Okay, I'm not.
I'm gonna say maybe Batman vs. Superman?
Full title?
Dawn of...
You're in it, dude!
Don't do this to me.
I'm not in it.
I'm in it.
I'm in it. I'm in it. I'm in it. I'm in it. I're in it, dude!
Don't do this to me.
Or was your entire body a special effect?
Because I know they had to take your legs out.
It's actually Gary Sinise played the part.
I worked one day, they scanned me, and I left.
Dawn of... Justice.
All right.
Justin, you get to guess one as well.
Well, that was what I was going to go with, so...
What would you go with instead?
I can't think of another Amy Adams movie.
Yes, you can.
She's in Superman versus Batman.
So what else was she in?
Hold on.
He's giving me a pretty strong hint that it's Man of Steel.
Okay, that's what you're going to go with?
All right, you say Man of Steel.
Okay, so coming in at number one, of course, Batman versus Superman.
Yes.
You get three points for that.
Nice work, Reagan.
Scoot gets three for that.
Good job.
And then in second place is Man of Steel.
So Justin gets two points for that.
Well done.
Well done.
And third place was Catch Me If You Can.
So yeah.
Good job. And third place was Catch Me If You Can. So, yeah.
Good job.
So everybody got points that time.
Well, not for you.
Everybody who has a chance to win today just got some points.
That hurt a little.
But this next round, don't help Theo out.
Let him do it on his own.
That might be fun to let the audience help Theo, but...
I'm going to get one.
I thought of a different one afterwards, I think.
Oh, yeah? Which one was that?
Oh, fuck, man.
I honestly...
You sure it wasn't Family Man?
It wasn't. It came and went. It wasn't Fuck Me. Oh, no. I don't remember what it wasn't Family Man? It wasn't. It was Fuck Man. It came and went.
It wasn't Fuck Me.
I thought it said Fuck Man.
Oh, no.
I don't remember what it was.
Fuck Me If You Can.
Amy Adams.
I think it was...
It might have been like Bridget...
Maybe...
Bridget...
Bridget...
Terabithia?
Bridget Terabithia?
I'm out.
Never mind.
All right.
I think you might do better this next round.
I have a very, very good feeling about it.
And we'll start with you, Theo.
You get the first shot at this,
and then we'll move down the line in the same order as before.
Samuel L. Jackson.
Yes.
Ooh, that's a tough one.
And we're picking the same thing for him?
Yes, name an Amy Adams movie
that Sam Jackson likes.
I'd probably say Gone Girl.
Yeah, just name what you think
is the top Sam Jackson movie of all time
Oh, I know what this is
This is...
I can see him right there, innit?
He's got a wig on and he's got...
He's got big old sideburns
Yeah, and he's got kind of darker skin
Wait, what?
He does I know exactly what. Yeah, and he's got like kind of darker skin. Wait, what? He does.
I know exactly what it is, dude.
It's famous.
It's sort of a departure for him.
What?
It's a famous movie.
It's a...
It was a box office hit.
Yeah, I know.
Samuel L. Jackson in famous movie.
No, Samuel L. Jackson in...
When they're running around and they're trying to shoot him
and the man's wearing the tuxedo with his friend, dude.
You know what I'm talking the fuck about?
Y'all just don't know all the names, dude.
But I mean, you know, like,
you don't eat the man's cheeseburger.
You eat the cheeseburger, motherfucker.
And they're running him. Woody Harrelson's in it.
Is it a big kahuna burger?
Yes!
I don't know what you're talking about.
You know this cheese from Britain.
Boy, you know this cheese from Britain.
That's not Woody Harrelson.
No, that's Samuel L. Jackson.
The other guy's not Woody Harrelson.
The other guy isn't Woody Harrelson.
It's John Travolta. Woody Harrelson's in the end.
That fucking shirt right there.
Yeah, Reservoir Dogs.
Thank you.
All right, so he's going with Reservoir Dogs.
What do you got, Scoot?
Scoot, give me a Sam Jackson movie.
I mean, I don't want to go with this.
I just want to throw it out there and see what the response is.
Okay.
Test the waters?
Yeah. Snakes on the plane.
Snakes on the plane. It did well, right?
No, no, no. I want
the old Star Wars.
What?
I mean, the
Jar Jar Binks Star Wars.
That's what a lot of us call it.
Oh.
I don't have the full title.
I'm going to go with something else
because I don't know the title.
Samuel L. Jackson.
There's still that one that's up for grabs.
He's in Captain America.
Full title.
I don't know the full title.
I know, they fucking burn you on those full titles.
If only you could think of a two-word title
that's not Reservoir Dogs
and is featured on a man's shirt
sitting right in front of us.
Yeah.
I want to go with Captain America, the first one.
The first one.
Okay, all right.
I mean, you know, if it's completely wrong,
you don't need the full title.
That's Captain America, Dawn of America, right?
Yeah.
Justin.
Yeah, you got a real shot here to take this thing home.
Oh, I'm going to change mine.
No.
Oh, never mind.
I don't know the title.
Is it Captain America Civil War?
That's the correct title.
Is that what you want to go with?
I want to go with Marvel's The Avengers
Age of Ultron
Okay
Ross
I was going to go with The Avengers but Scoot brought up a great point
And I think I'm going to have to now change my
Vote to
Star Wars Episode
3
I think that was better grossing
Than the second one right? Yeah I think that was better grossing than the second one, right?
Yeah, I think it was.
Revenge of the Sith.
Okay.
This was a very exciting round.
Because even those of you who named
actual Samuel L. Jackson movies
by their actual titles,
you still didn't make the top three oh oh cuz it
was the day died in the second one didn't he okay wait no but the top three
are number one Jurassic Park shit engineer he was the cool yeah he Jackson? Yeah, he's like, hold on to your butts.
He's the guy on the computer that says, oh shit, we gotta get out of here, and then he gets his arm torn off.
I just saw that.
You saw Jurassic World.
Yeah, he's not in all of them.
He wasn't in the first one.
He straight up dies in Jurassic Park.
Oh my god.
in the first one.
He straight up dies in Jurassic Park.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
And then,
and then the second movie
on his top three,
according to
Box Office Mojo
adjusted for inflation,
is Star Wars Episode I.
Really?
Phantom Menace.
And then,
and then his number three,
you were so fucking close,
you added too many words,
was just Marvel's The Avengers.
Yeah, yeah, not the Age of Ultron.
So no points for anyone that round.
Wait, he said Age of Ultron.
I was going to say The Avengers.
He said Age of Ultron?
Yeah.
Shit, I heard Avengers.
No, no, he went on and said Age of Ultron.
I was like, you're blowing it, dude.
I said it with my eyes.
Shit.
Miscommunication.
But Theo, you got as many points as anyone else in that round.
Call it a comeback, son.
It's a gentle comeback.
How many points does Theo have?
Zero.
Why does it still feel like he's winning?
Oh, we got a plan, brother.
It's his charming personality.
We got a plan. We don't know what it plan, brother. It's his charming personality. We got a plan.
We don't know what it is, though.
Here's the next round, you guys.
We'll start with Scoop.
Then Justin.
So you got a lot of time to think, Theo.
I'm gonna start now.
Now these, of course, are movies that are directed by and possibly also starring
but it's mainly directed by
Spike Lee
What do you think is the top grossing Spike Lee movie?
Man I don't know
That's why it's a fun game
Did he do White Man Can't Jump?
Alright, next
I was just throwing it out there to see what the response was
That's not how it works
You can't beta test the answers Justin? I was just throwing it out there to see what the response was. That's not how it works.
You can't beta test the answers.
Justin?
Do the Right Thing.
Matter of fact, it is a Spike Lee movie, correct.
All right.
I'm on the board.
Ross?
I'm going to go with Inside Man.
Oh, great one.
Theo? I'm going to go with Poetic Justice.
The Spike Lee movie?
No.
Is he in it?
He's not in it?
I don't think so.
That's Tupac and Janet Jackson, right?
Spike had to be there somewhere, huh?
It was...
What's his name, the guy who did
Boys in the Hood? Singleton.
Oh, Lamar Singleton.
Um...
Okay.
You're good? Can I pick another one or not?
Yeah, I'll let you pick another one.
Okay, then. Thank you. I appreciate that, guys.
Get some points. I, uh... You're good? Can I pick another one or not? Yeah, I'll let you pick another one. Thank you, I appreciate that, guys.
Get some points.
White men can't jump.
Did you do that?
Then I quit, dude.
Then I fucking quit.
And I'm sorry, Denise.
It's Blades of Laurie,
not Blades of Laurie Not Blades of Denise I can't even fucking get this right
How can I do this dude
I don't know
How long did y'all fucking practice for this
This is blowing my mind
You gotta do a lot of training for Doug Loves Movies
You really gotta
Can't just walk in here and be like
I saw Family Man
So good though
Yeah you wanna try one more Spike Lee movie?
Yeah man I'll go with one more
Cause I was just thinking about this one
Cause of Muhammad Ali.
Malcolm X.
There you go.
Thank you.
Thank you.
See?
All right.
So what did you say, Ross?
Inside man.
Number one.
Number one.
So Ross gets three points for that,
which brings him to four points.
He's right there on the precipice of victory.
And then what'd you say again, Theo?
Malcolm X.
Malcolm X, number two.
Number two.
Theo and Justin are tied with two points each now.
And the third Spike Lee movie was one that no one named, Jungle Fever.
Jungle Fever.
I wouldn't imagine that one would be up there that high, but, you know.
I mean, once you get Jungle Fever, there's no cure.
You guys want to do one more round?
I think that'll put us over the top.
Somebody should win on this round.
And this, we'll start with you, Justin,
is an actor who goes by the name of Russell Crowe.
Russell Crowe.
He's in a very good movie right now called
The Nice Guys.
It's quietly making okay money.
If you haven't seen it yet, I recommend it.
Alright, I heard
about this movie Gladiator.
You've heard about Gladiator?
That's a great porn title.
Who's Gladiator?
Ross?
I'm going to go with the father of Jor-El, Man of Steel.
Okay.
That's a good one.
Theo.
I'm a nerd, dude. I'm a total nerd.
I stay home a lot.
Just battles?
You don't do a Russell Crowe impression, do you?
No, not really.
Just throw your phone at somebody. Yeah
I
Think it was an old it was like a
Rotary not a rotary phone like I think it was like a hotel room phone. It wasn't even a cordless
Love those cordless ones with the antenna that you pull out.
I'm super old, dude.
Theo's really working on this.
I want to say the crow.
Russell Crowe is the crow.
Did I know? Did I know?
Did I get it?
Wrong spelling, somebody yells out.
Like, that's the only thing that was wrong about that.
So close.
It wasn't for the spelling.
Yeah, he's a tough one.
Yeah.
Scoop.
L.A. Confidential. That's a tough one. Yeah. Scoop. LA Confidential.
That's a good choice.
That was a sleeper one.
It was a sleeper.
And who said Gladiator?
I did.
Justin, Gladiator, number one.
Yeah.
Who said Man of Steel? Ross said it. Number two, Man of Steel?
Ross said it.
Number two, Man of Steel.
Two points for Ross.
Who said A Beautiful Mind?
Because that was number three.
And what were the other...
The Crow didn't make the top three.
Beautiful Mind beat L.A. Confidential?
Yeah, I think L.A. Confidential didn't do that well.
Really?
It was critically acclaimed and won awards and stuff,
and I thought it was great,
but I don't think it did that well.
My favorite movie.
But anybody can look it up on Box Office Mojo.
You can look up an actor and then just find
a list of their top
20 or 30 movies with the inflation
adjustment. Thanks again to Ron Bennington
for hipping me off.
Hipping me off?
Totally hipped me off to that.
And that's
Mojo Rising or Adjusted for
Inflation Bureau.
And now, I have to say that this is probably a wrinkle
I need to work out, because both two of you
made it to five points on that round.
But since Ross has six and Justin has five,
we've got to call Ross the winner.
Unless, sudden death between Ross and Justin
To decide it
One more round
Here we go
We'll start with Ross
Gets to go first
Chris Ludacris Bridges.
And by the way, Sam Jackson, Spike Lee, and Chris Bridges are all off in Atlanta, so shout out
to them from their homes.
Their home.
What do you got, Ross?
Biggest, grossing, ludicrous movie.
Well, it's one of the fasts.
It's got to be one of the fasts. It's gotta be one of the fasts,
right? God, what was
the best fasting one?
It was about Gandhi.
Too fast. Too, too,
too fast.
Fasting too hard. Yeah, yeah.
Love those hunger
strikes.
God.
Thank you.
Man, man, man, man.
It's got to be...
I mean, I didn't watch
a lot of these,
is the thing,
so there was like
eight of them, right?
Sorry, sorry.
No, I watched Fast 7.
I watched Fast 7
and I watched Fast 1.
Anywhere in between.
Damn.
I'm just going to go with
The Fast and the Furious.
Straight up, The Fast and the Furious?
Straight up, Fast and the Furious.
No?
Everyone's like, no.
You failed.
You failed.
So settle down.
Justin.
I saw Ludacris in a restaurant once.
And you go, this is insane.
I did.
I saw he ordered a cappuccino,
and he took a sip and went,
whoo, coolest thing I've ever seen.
That's exactly why I moved to Atlanta.
But for my guess, I'm going to go with Fast 7.
Furious 7.
Since when do we change shit up like that?
I want to clarify.
Well, you know, that could have been a wrong answer.
But I don't know what to do with my audience anymore.
Was it Furious 7?
I'd love to just say when things are wrong out loud. But the answer is Furious 7? I'd love to just say when things are wrong out loud.
But the answer is Furious 7.
I'm going to give it to you.
Thank you, Jeff.
Fast and Furious didn't make the cut,
because number two was Fast and Furious 6,
and number three was Fast 5.
Fast 5. Okay.
My favorite one because it's my favorite
expression for a hand job.
How are we doing on time, you guys? We doing alright?
People have places to go?
Does anybody want a donut?
Let's toss out some donuts, you guys. Only to the hungry people.
Oh, we got a pregnant lady, so that's...
We got two more boxes in the front row.
We got enough on stage already, you guys.
Because also, these aren't messy ones. These are reasonably...
What kind are those, brother? Dunkin they're not... Can I have one?
Yeah, just give Theo just the one.
I do want to hit that pig in the face.
Thank you for asking.
Try not to make a big mess with these, you guys.
The club's nice enough to let us
let people bring in donuts.
Let me get one of these.
Oh, man.
I'm going to eat one of these
and I say you pass the rest around.
Yeah, hold up your fucking sign.
I'll fucking hit your sign.
Beach, huh?
Mmm, this is...
Oh, shit.
Try again.
Mmm.
Alright, that's enough of that.
Did you guys throw some?
Let's pick which one of these are the best.
The contest you can finally win.
Yeah.
I'll pick this one.
You get a participant ribbon.
Are you gonna go for that one?
Okay, that's a good one.
Yeah, hit that.
Oh, he's gonna Frisbee it.
Oh, shit!
Wow.
You guys, John Cusack just walked in with a boombox.
That's awesome.
I want to hit that boombox so bad.
Big degree of difficulty, though, because it's a low ceiling.
I'm going to have to throw it really hard.
What is going on?
I've already crushed it in my hand.
You got this.
That would be, like, the weirdest scene in Say Anything,
where she goes to run into his arms, and he's just gone.
He just gave up.
Lloyd Dobler wouldn't give up.
He would wait until a donut hits him in the goddamn face. He just gave up Lloyd Dobler wouldn't give up
He would wait until a donut hits him in the goddamn face
You got this
Oh
Woo
That's nice
Fucking Dobler, where'd you go again? That's nice.
Fucking Dobbler, where'd you go again?
Oh, that's a lady.
See, that's what I was afraid would happen.
The ceiling's too low, but... Sorry, Lloyd.
Have a good trip to England.
Thank you.
Oh, napkins and everything.
What a full-service situation.
I got some peanut butter on my crotch.
That was a good donut.
I don't know what happened there.
Oh, you know what I was thinking of was...
You had a moment of contemplation. Which round are you on?
No. Dream Team.
Dream Team.
Have you seen that?
With Michael Keaton and Christopher Lloyd?
Yeah. They go to the baseball game?
Yeah. Who's in that?
Uh, Christopher Lloyd, Michael Keaton.
No, I mean, why'd you bring it up?
That's just another movie you like?
It's great, if you guys haven't seen that.
I'm not going to tell you what happens, but it's good.
It's about mental health.
Yeah, Flounder from Animal House is in it.
Peter Boyle.
Peter Boyle.
It's not Flounder, but yeah.
Stephen First, that's his name.
All right.
You still in the theater?
No more audience answers.
Wow.
Because we're about to play Last Man's Dancing.
May I get another vodka soda up on stage, dear Punchline, if that's possible?
If it's not, that's cool.
I know you're very busy. It's a packed house.
Thanks to everybody for coming.
Somebody in this audience has been pre-selected to suggest an actor or actress
for us to play Last Man Stanton.
And Justin, we're calling Justin the winner of that
last game, so he'll go first. Then Scoot,
then Theo, then Ross, then me, because I like to
play too. We just take turns naming
movies that this actor or actress is in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But you do have one lifeline.
One time and one time only in this game,
you can use the person on your name tag
to help you
with the answer.
So yeah, those are going to come in handy.
I can feel it.
And the...
Oh, thank you so much.
Let's hear it for the staff here at the Punchline.
It's all vodka, you guys.
That is all vodka, you guys.
You're like, we want this early show to be over early.
Just give him a full glass of vodka.
Fucking pass out that piece of crap.
All right.
Where is Shay is Dead?
Shay is Dead.
Oh, of course.
We've been talking to Shay the whole show and not realizing it's the same Shay that I
chose from Twitter today.
And why do you call yourself Shay is dead?
It's my middle name.
Because Shay is your middle name?
I came back to life.
You really, like, went down the hallway
and saw the little lady from Poltergeist and all that shit?
Holy cow.
I'll have to talk to you about that later.
You believe in that sort of thing, Theo?
In what?
The great
beyond? Yeah, like, you know, like when you
have a near-death experience, you like
go down a hallway and you see all your
dead family members and stuff? 100%,
dude. Yeah. We'll talk to Shea, man.
It's happened to him. I, uh...
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, uh... Yeah.
Yeah, we'll do it.
Wow, talk about a dream team.
What do you got for us, Shay?
What should we play today?
Okay, you haven't done him,
but you're starting to run out of people
you haven't done, right?
I guess we're running out of people we haven't done.
It seems somewhat infinite, but you never know.
Do you think Ryan Reynolds has enough credits?
Ryan Reynolds certainly has enough credits.
I'd be happy to play Ryan Reynolds.
Let's do Ryan Reynolds.
And like I said,
Justin will start us off.
I guess we'll get the obvious
one out of way. Captain Deadpool.
Okay, that's...
That was fun, but you know, you gotta say the
right title. Oh, it's one of the
things where you say a sentence and the last
part is the title.
That's true.
Just say it again just so that we're clear. Deadpool.
That you know it's just called Deadpool. Marvel's true. Just say it again just so that we're clear. Deadpool. That you know it's just called Deadpool.
Marvel's Deadpool.
Disney's Marvel's Deadpool.
All right.
We'll swing back over to you, Ross.
Any Ryan Reynolds?
Ryan Reynolds.
X-Men's origin Wolverine.
X-Men origin's Wolverine? X-Men origin Wolverine.
Yeah, you're right.
I did fuck up the order.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm supposed to go to Scoot.
So we'll go to Scoot
and you get that one on the count, Ross.
Mississippi Grind.
Yeah, okay.
I haven't seen that yet,
but I hear it's good.
Are you in that?
No, no, no.
But it's good. It's really good. Are you in that? No, no, no, but it's good.
It's really good.
Are you in any movies with Ryan Reynolds?
Nope.
Okay, because that would be helpful for you.
What's happening?
Yeah, I've seen millions of movies.
I just know the name of half of them.
Well, I think 500,000 movies would be a lot to choose from when we play these games.
Yeah, yeah.
You're just getting on the wrong side every time.
Yeah.
All right.
Theo, Ryan Reynolds?
Yes.
And you could use your lifeline.
I just don't want to use it so early, though.
Yeah, no, that's probably a good point
But I don't know
If I have a choice
Well also if you use your lifeline now
And as it's going around
One of us might say something
That'll make you think of another one
So it's not a terrible thing to do
Like what process are you using
When you're trying to think of
Are you picturing Are you using like when you're trying to think of like are you picturing
are you like visualizing? Yeah you use
visualization. You're like you know
you think of you know movies
that you saw them in that you may have liked or
remember in any way at
all.
And then you just go from there.
But it is
tough.
You want to use your lifeline?
but it is tough you want to use your lifeline?
yeah let's use it
she seems fired up
no I'm sure she's got one
let's use it let's go in
Lori what do you got?
the proposal with Sandra Bullock
there you go
alright and so Ross already had one on account.
Shit.
Dropped my piece of paper.
I'm going to go with definitely maybe.
I'm going to drop my pen.
I can't keep my shit together at all.
I told you I'd need you again.
Thank you so much.
Justin. Justin.
I'm going to say Just Friends.
I love that movie.
Very entertaining movie.
When that's on cable, I'm staying home for a while.
What would I say?
Scoot.
Van.
Van Helsing
Van
It's right on the tip of my tongue
Van
Van
Van
And I know another one too
But I don't know the name of it
Let's go to your lifeline
What is it?
Is that it? I would What is it? Van Wilder. Is that it?
I'd have never gotten that.
Van Wilder. Alright, we're going with Van Wilder.
Yeah, doesn't it have more words?
It does. Yes.
That's the correct title?
Wait, where's the lifeline? Where is she?
What's the full title?
No, just her.
National Airboats, Van Wilder.
That's right.
just her. National Airboots Van Wilder.
That's right.
Alright, we're back to Theo.
He won't help me out.
And I'm not trying to rat you out,
but I don't want them thinking that I don't know all alone.
You know?
Because he could be helping me, but he isn't.
And honestly, dog, I'll tell you honestly, dude,
I know one, and I can see it, man.
I can see him back there. You know? He's an employee. Don't can see it, man. I can see him back there.
You know?
He's an employee.
Don't just start crying.
He's an employee.
And he's, he's, he's like a, he's like, kind of like dumb but fancy at it.
You know?
And he's handsome. He's handsome.
That's a sign.
The light I hear with the donut just went out.
Training day.
And I gotta tell you,
I know I'm much more comfortable up here now.
It's a cooler lighting now, you know? It's like,
you don't mind doing your set tonight
in the dark, dude?
I told you, buddy. I should have hit that one
that makes the crazy disco light on the lady
at the bar.
That's the one I should have hit.
But nothing, Theo? No, there is
something.
And I'm gonna go with, I just know that when I say it, you're going to say no.
And that's what I don't want to happen, really.
I'm having a nice time.
But okay, I'm sorry for taking everybody's time.
And I'm going to go out on a limb and just say shenanigans.
All right, you're out.
Fuck! Sorry. Settle down, you guys. Sorry, settle down you guys
Is that one?
Settle down
It's wrong too, huh?
No, that's incorrect
Ross?
Waiting
He works at a restaurant called Shenanigans
in Waiting
I asked him
That's the name of the restaurant in waiting is Shenanigans.
Wow!
Wow!
People, people, people.
Alright, I will go with The Voices
Yeah
I'm not sure if he had a cameo
in Waiting to Exhale, but
Still waiting
I know he was
in The Green Lantern
Yeah, he was
He makes jokes about it in Marvel's Deadpool I know he was in The Green Lantern. Yeah, he was.
He makes jokes about it in Marvel's Deadpool.
Captain Deadpool.
Green Lantern.
All right, Scoop, we're back to you. There's another one.
Obviously, I don't know the name of it,
but it's a superhero one.
It's like Underworld, or he's in a suit.
I mean, like a comic book suit.
It doesn't matter.
I'm not going to get it.
I remember the poster though.
It's like Underworld or Underworld.
I pass.
Pass out.
Ross?
Oh yeah, do you want to?
What happened to his lifeline?
I used mine.
You already used it
Thanks guys
Thanks for nothing
Ross
The Amityville Horror
Yes
I didn't know
If it was called
The Amity
Or if they updated
The title
But I think
You know
I'm going to give you it
Because it's close enough
Cool
It's right
And it's right
According to Shay
So you know You know that's got to be true it because it's close enough. Cool. And it's right according to Shay.
So, you know, that's gotta be true.
I'm gonna go with a motion picture that starred him
in a coffin.
Buried.
Great one.
Alright, I think what you were trying to...
Blade Trinity?
Yeah!
Is that what you were trying to think of?
That is not what I was thinking of.
There's another one.
All right.
Well, then we're on to Ross.
I might need to reach out to my lifeline.
Okay.
I think we're doing a great job with the Ryan Reynolds.
Yeah.
Really clearing the table.
You got something?
What do you got, lifeline?
R-I-P.D.
Oh, yeah.
Nice.
Jeff Bridges.
Very good one.
Rip, man.
Yeah.
Yeah, R.I.P.D.
Rest in police department.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Shit.
So it's back to me already.
I don't have a Lifeline.
So I'm going to say How about
I don't have anything
You know the one I'm thinking of though?
Oh, let me think of the one you're thinking of
Are you just thinking about the other time he played Deadpool?
Because that one's already been said
Wait, there's the Deadpool that just came out Was the other one called played Deadpool? Because that one's already been said. Wait, there's the Deadpool that just came out.
Was the other one called Deadpool, too?
Well, no, but he played Deadpool
in a movie before. No, no, no, no.
This is him. And he was Green Lantern.
No, it's before Green Lantern.
Interesting.
Alright, guys, we're still playing.
Justin? I'm going to have to
go with my lifeline. You got anything?
Yeah, Safe House. Safe House! No one is safe! No one is house! Justin I'm gonna have to go with my lifeline you got anything safe house
safe house
no one is safe
no one is house
can't believe
I couldn't think of that
safe fucking house
but that opens up
when you think of
as a cop
kind of character
that might help
a little bit
I don't know
Ross
Jesus
Theo's thought of one I'm a fan of his too it sounds like it sounds like I'm not a fan I don't know. Ross? Jesus.
Theo's thought of one.
I'm a fan of his, too.
It sounds like I'm not a fan.
I like Ryan Reynolds.
We've said a lot of them.
Damn.
Doing real good.
I feel like I should have more.
I know, me too, but I just couldn't pull out another one.
Damn.
Was he in Miss Congeniality? I got nothing.
I'm sorry.
No, no.
All right, Justin, you got one more?
I don't have one, man.
Huh?
If I don't have one, am I out?
Or do I win?
Well, I think you win.
I think you were the last one to successfully name one.
So you'd be the winner, even if you don't think of one.
It's just fun to rub it in.'m out sorry bro all right which ones do we
miss
Ventureland the nine Ventureland smoking aces Harold and Kumar He's the doctor He's the doctor
Oh yeah yeah yeah
The woman in the
We already said that
Wolverine Origins
That was said
We said that
Dick
Yeah yeah Wolverine Origins
Employee of the Month wasn't him
It's Dane Cook
Adventureland Yes Adventureland. Yes, Adventureland.
The Change-Up.
The Change-Up.
Ten?
Ooh, Let's Be Cops.
What?
Oh, ten. I thought you said ten.
I was like, what the fuck is he
talking about?
We just love saying that. What's it called? Oh, 10. I thought you said 10. I was like, what the fuck is he talking about? What?
What?
What?
He just loves saying that.
What's it called?
Paperman?
You're a liar.
Yep.
That's what I was thinking of.
He's a superhero in Paperman?
Wow.
Paperman.
Nice job, dude.
I feel good now.
What else?
The Croods. The Croods.
Turbo.
Turbo, yes.
The fucking Fast Snail movie.
Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past has Ryan Reynolds?
Valentine's Day.
No. No.
No.
Now you guys are just saying shit.
A million ways to die in the West, he's in that?
What does he do?
Uncredited.
Uncredited to get shot?
What about Fruitvale Station?
That's a big one, selfless.
Was he in Fruitvale Station?
No.
What do you think he played in that?
White Cop No. 2?
Ted.
Yeah, yeah.
We already had him.
You were staring at your phone so much,
we already had a big discussion about that.
While you were staring at it.
The X-Files.
The X-Files?
That's David Duchovny.
Two guys, a girl, and a pizza place.
All right, no more yelling out.
So Justin's our winner today.
Thank you, guys.
And I believe you, did you win for her the other night as well?
No, that was a different lady.
Oh, there she is. Hey, how's it going?
Okay, so where is Kate?
Kate's down there.
You might want to bring a helper to come get all your stuff.
It's rather involved.
And it's her birthday? Yay!
I know it's your birthday, but can I keep the Xbox?
Yeah, you gotta get that name tag back.
That's a nice one. There you go.
Congratulations. Good job, Kate.
Yes.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Yeah, happy birthday, Mia.
Have at least one or two more.
And, uh...
At the least.
At the least.
Justin, what do you got to plug buddy?
Just follow me on Twitter I'm on there
Justin T-E-E
Justin T-E-E
Well every good variation
Of Justin Thompson was taken
So if one of your listeners
Works at Twitter
And wants to help me out
That'd be dope
Oh if there's somebody
That can just take
Justin Thompson
From a rightful Justin Thompson?
No, that's the thing.
It's being held by this spam account that is inactive.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, we should go to work that out.
I've emailed them, and they don't listen.
If you can help, that'd be great.
All right.
I'll see what I can do.
Thanks for being here.
Yeah, thank you guys.
I do want to plug a show, actually.
I want to make sure you get the details right.
At the end of the month, we're doing The Roast of Jon Snow.
So if you're a Game of Thrones fan, that'll be awesome to check out.
A bunch of Atlanta comics are going to play characters.
And it's going to be at the Highland Inn Ballroom and Lounge.
Yeah, you guys familiar?
It's a great venue.
Is there going to be a lot of fucking on that show?
It's going to be so much fucking.
Okay, good.
So I'm in. I got the details here. That's going to be at the
Highland Inn Ballroom Thursday, the 30th.
Come on out. Probably at 8 o'clock.
We'll see you then.
Atlanta Phenom, Justin Thompson,
everybody.
Scoot McNary,
season three of Halt
and Catch Fire,
AMC Network,
debuts on a date to be determined.
So just keep an eye out for that.
And anything else you want to say?
Thanks for having me again.
I have a great time doing this show.
Yay!
Oh, can I also say thanks?
What's happening now?
Can I also say thanks?
Thanks to what?
Having me on the show
This is a dream come true
Yeah, it's too bad you're not ever going to be on again
So disruptive, such a pain in the ass Theo, buddy, it's too bad you're not ever going to be on again. You're just so disruptive.
Such a pain in the ass.
Theo, buddy, what's going on?
Well, thank you.
I'm going to say that first.
You're welcome.
Thank you, sir.
I'm going to be here tonight and tomorrow night.
I'll elaborate on that hamster story a little bit.
And I'll be in Fort Lauderdale July 7th through 10th and New York September 2nd and 3rd
so killing jokes and a lot of other places what's your website or twitter or whatever
at Theo Vaughn just t-h-e-o-v-o-n and I'm an adult and I feel like I'm doing my best
thank you Thank you And I do
And thank you very much Doug
You have an amazing group of friends
It's inspiring so thank you
It's like if you got pulled over by a cop
You'd use that line
I'm an adult and I'm doing my best
I am
I am
Ross Marquand
maybe survives
into season
72 of Walking Dead
what else you got
coming up dude
I did the Mindy Project
and I did a lot of fun
and Deadbeat also on Hulu.
And, you know, watch The Walking Dead, you know.
It's a good show.
You never know what could happen on that show.
Are you going to be on the season premiere of Talking Dead?
I have no idea.
Oh, I thought I'd trick you with that one.
Who is going to be on that one?
I have no idea.
Maybe you will.
What?
I think you should be on it.
I've been on Talking Dead a couple of times.
Yeah, yeah, you should be.
And I love doing it, but I'm so mad at Walking Dead right now.
No, don't be, don't be.
I'm so mad at it.
It's a good way to end it.
It's a good cliffhanger.
No, it's not a good cliffhanger.
I think it's a good cliffhanger.. It's a good cliffhanger. No, it's not a good cliffhanger. I think it's a good cliffhanger.
It's not a good cliffhanger.
Yeah.
Okay, no.
Yeah.
I think it's a good way to end it.
It makes me too sad.
I like cliffhangers, though.
I like a cliffhanger where the person might live.
Ooh, Sylvester Stallone.
Wait, what?
That's Sylvester Stallone. That is,? That's Sylvester Stallone.
That is, isn't it?
It is, isn't it?
That's the one they're talking about.
I think we should do a new show called
Theo Loves Movies.
There's no game, it's just he just
names movies he actually loves.
Or we just gave
Theo a really horrible case,
a weird case of Tourette's,
where any time he hears a title in a conversation,
he's going to name who's in that movie.
I love that idea.
I love it.
Thank you once again to all of my guests,
Russ Marquand, Theo Vaughn,
Scoot McNary,
and Justin Thompson.
And, uh,
pass down those shitheads.
Lori, who's your shithead?
Well, we had an incident
on Thursday night with the tape, so I said I'm not going to tape mine on again.ead oh because you had your thing taped on the
other night that was the incident it ripped it I still read it okay but what
is yours tonight today okay that's a good one just pass me that one thank you
very much and you don't have one, Theo, as we just discussed.
And is there something on the back of yours, Ross?
Nothing on the back of Ross's?
I don't think so, right?
Ben?
Oh, you got it.
What is it, Ben?
Oh, he's going to bring it to me.
All right, no rush.
There you go. Pass it down.
Wow, he was in, um...
Yeah, Legend of Bagger Vance.
Fire, what?
What is this?
Fight?
What the hell is happening?
And what does this one say?
It says fire and being what?
Oh, firefly being...
That's what...
That's what you think you wrote down?
Canceled is C-A-N-C?
Yes!
Canceled is C-A-N-C.
As always.
As always, heat or humidity are a shithead.
Firefly and cake is a shithead.
And people who shoot animals are a shithead. Play that end theme if you can.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his new and prowess makes him talkie.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug calls for me.
Thank you guys so much. You come home to me. Thank you guys
so much.
You were awesome
as usual.
Good night.