Doug Loves Movies - Roy Wood Jr., Ian Bagg and Randy Baumann guest
Episode Date: July 1, 2019Live from The Improv as part of the DVE Comedy Festival in Pittsburgh, Doug welcomes Roy Wood Jr., Ian Bagg and Randy Baumann to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies ...on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies.
Coming to you once again as part of the DVE 8th Annual Comedy Festival in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
Yeah!
This time we are at the recently remodeled and improved improv in Homestead,
Squirrel Hill adjacent.
So exciting.
I love a good mall town.
And as you can see from my prize bag,
I've eaten in one of Malltown's finest eateries.
Pee fucking Chang's.
More about that later.
It's Sunday, June 29th, 2019.
And I know you got name tags.
I already see some damn Dunkin' Donuts on the stage.
Congratulations on getting those into a restaurant.
Some clubs will let people in with their donuts, but you did it.
Go ahead, let me see the name tags.
You're all so shy about it, which is adorable.
We got Chris Congeniality.
Good job, Chris.
Anchorman, the legend of Ron Morgan-D.
Morgan?
Good.
There's ones behind Morgan that there's so much going on,
I can't even begin.
I have to do a DMVI test soon, and I'm fucked,
because I can't make out anything that's going on
on either of your posters.
Never been...
Chris?
Yeah, Chris.
This one's real close and real dumb.
Go ahead and show everybody.
It's Spider Rob.
All right.
That's enough of that.
Who's going to top Spider rob but uh great job everybody
and if you're you know if you're a dv uh wdve radio listener uh here in pittsburgh and you
don't you're not familiar with douglas movies but you still came down today
thank you for being here and um and you, we would love for you to join the cult.
Bring a name tag next time.
Doug Plugs.
Wednesday night, July 3rd, I'm doing stand-up
in Dayton at the Funny Bone with
two special guests. Come on down
for an intimate night of Fourth of July
Eve comedy. By intimate night,
I mean the turnout's going to be bad.
Then Friday and Saturday,
July 5th and 6th, I'm doing three stand-up
shows and one Douglas Movies taping at
Go Bananas in Cincinnati.
It's actually in Montgomery,
but we call it Cincinnati because that's the big
place right there.
This year, my annual Dabstay show
on July 10th is at
Laughs in Tucson, Arizona.
My first time playing that club.
For all my dates and deets, go to DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com!
Yeah!
Come on!
Come on!
Shh!
What was that with the hands?
I didn't know there was... I didn't know hand movements were involved too
I thought it was all verbal
But again, apologies to anyone who doesn't know what just happened
That was seriously my favorite part of the show
Because it's so weird
I brought for the prize bag tonight
Someone tonight is going to win a bunch of prizes
Brought by me and my guests I brought for the prize bag tonight, someone tonight is going to win a bunch of prizes brought by me and my guests.
I brought a Douglas
Movies sticker, a book
that was recommended to me by our friend
Leonard Maltin, and he sent me
a couple of copies, so I got
one to give away. It's called Wild and
Crazy Guys, and it's by
Nick DeSemlian,
and it's about
these guys, Chevy Chase,
Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd,
like that generation of
Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin.
That generation of guys who became famous
on TV through like
SNL and then became hugely
popular movie stars.
So a book all about that. I haven't read it yet
but it sounds interesting.
A fortune cookie from P.F. Chang's.
The aforementioned.
And I will have some of these available for sale for, bless you over there,
$10 cash only.
If you only have 20s, buy two.
It's by Rockin' Pins.
You can go to rockinpins.com to buy one. But it's a
tiny little Doug Benson pin
for like a lapel or if you have a lot
of pins that you wear, you can put it
on there with them. So I'm giving one of those
away tonight and then selling the rest
of them. Not all
of them. I'm going to sell more in the lobby
after. But then check this out, you guys.
I went to this thing in
LA called I Like Scary
Movies Experience, where
you take pictures in fake sets
that are designed to look like Beetlejuice and
It and The Shining
and other movies.
And at one point they give you a penny,
a customized
penny that's got
Pennywise on it
from It. And it says I Like Scary Movwise on it from it.
And it says, I like scary movies on it.
And since they gave it to me,
I feel obligated to plug it
and get rid of it.
You know, because find a penny,
pick it up all day long, you have good luck.
If it has Pennywise on it,
you're fucked.
I think that's how that goes.
And they were talking about it on the DVE morning show the last couple days.
So if you're here for this, it really is happening.
The winner today is going to get four tickets to see their huge show tonight at the what is it pgg
arena it's some paint company they have an arena it better look beautiful on the outside
or everywhere all the walls to look great at the paint arena ppg paints arena there it is uh of course, Bill Burr is headlining tonight.
So that's going to be very exciting.
And that's also why we took away one of the chairs
before the show started today.
Because I was hoping to convince Bill
to come down here, but there's probably
some sports thing on TV
in his hotel room.
But does anybody here
not have tickets
for tonight and are excited about
the possibility of going?
Okay, good.
So hold your name tags up extra high
when everybody
comes out to pick name tags.
And let's get them out here.
Three fellas that are
going to be also at
this huge show here in town tonight.
Please give it up for Roy Wood Jr., Ian Bagg, and Randy Bauman.
Hey, guys.
Doug, what's up, man?
Hey, dude.
Yeah.
Got the movie crowd.
Here we are.
Yeah, this is the movie crowd.
Some of them have fashioned name tags.
Oh, shit, I left my gift.
Oh, there he goes.
It was great having him.
First time with Roy.
All right, well, you know,
there's enough of us left to keep going.
Yeah, we don't have to stop.
He'll be back soon. But let's meet these guests individually.
All first-time guests on the show,
so I'm excited to have every single damn one of them.
But let's say hello to Ian Bagg,
everybody!
Welcome!
How's it going, dude?
Good, buddy. How are you?
I'm good. You're performing tonight at a paint arena.
Yes. I'm doing swatches of comedy.
You're going to make that place all red, right?
Yeah.
When you murder in front of...
It's going to be thousands of people. Is this the biggest crowd
you've ever played to? No, I've done
other shows. I'm very popular
in Europe.
I heard they're having
a heat wave over there.
What do you mean?
How often have you played a bigger
show? I mean, this is huge. I opened for
Gabriel Iglesias in Europe, so I did all hockey arenas with him.
So it was funny.
Oh, so you're used to a hockey arena vibe.
I am used to it because I'm fantastic.
It's weird because I wanted to be an NHL star,
and the only way I could get into those rinks,
into the dress rooms, is to do comedy.
That's still pretty awesome, though, that you got there.
No, not at all.
My father hates me.
Well, I wish you luck tonight,
and I hope you score a lot of goals.
I hope it doesn't go into overtime
and other hockey references.
Oh, my God.
Can you imagine if you're doing your set
and the Zamboni fires up?
I'd love to drive out on the Zamboni.
That'd be awesome.
Do you guys support the hockey team here?
Are you into it?
No.
No.
What are they called?
Pittsburgh.
I mean, I like them already because that's the best thing to name a hockey team after.
I grew up in San Diego where for a while we had the Gulls.
They're tough.
Fucking tough birds.
They're tough birds.
They'll steal your food.
Well, thank you for being here, Ian.
And let's also say hello to Roy Wood Jr., everybody.
Hey.
Hello, Doug.
Thank you for having me, man.
I mean that.
Thank you for, you know,
getting into town early
and doing this
because I know you got
a big show tonight.
Big damn traffic.
The traffic in Pittsburgh
is a mess.
What are we doing here?
I mean, at least the scenery
is nice when you're
fucking stuck in traffic.
Oh, look at that tree.
That's the thing with mountain towns.
There's never like a parallel street.
Like, look, take the next street over.
There is no next street.
There's just a river.
Yeah.
I think the movie A Bridge Too Far is based on Pittsburgh.
Thank you.
But Roy, you too are going to be on this
big ass show tonight. That's pretty exciting, right?
Biggest show
before this.
Early in my career, I opened for the
Righteous Brothers.
8,500 people.
Oh my god, you can't stop that loving
feeling.
It's the only one I know.
That's where that reference game ends.
I was like 21.
I didn't know who the fuck they were.
It was money.
Even the word righteous
probably wasn't so cool at that time.
It was $100 to do 10 minutes.
That's a good gig.
Like, you know that's
quality fucking money.
Yeah, I know.
That's bad math.
And how did it go, though?
Did they like you?
Oh, it was great, man.
It was old white people.
They was fucking with me.
Like, it was good.
They had, like, groupies and shit after the show too which I thought which I like it
made me respect them more mm-hmm that like people like past fucking age was
still like I'll fuck with you also joining us until you see a 70 year old
wait to meet an 80 yearyear-old, you'll
understand.
No disrespect if you're at that age
and still fucking. I don't want you to think that.
No, I'm fast approaching that
and it's, I
really, the people I like the least are
old people and I'm becoming
one, so it's gonna, we'll see what happens.
Right? Because most of the things that are wrong
are because of old people.
What?
Most of our laws
that are antiquated are because old people
are insisting on keeping them.
Right? I'm sitting in
Philadelphia, the city decriminalized
weed, but I'm sitting in Homestead where they're like,
uh-uh.
We don't want your kind around here. I'm like but I'm sitting at Homestead where they're like, uh-uh. We don't want your kind around
here. I'm like, I'm white.
But anyway.
Oh, one more guest to
introduce.
The reason we're all here.
Quite literally.
Not really, no.
You decided to do this. I did, but you. You decided to do this.
I did, but you decided to agree to do this.
Well, see, but somebody's got to start with the request
for it all to trickle down from there.
Old people invented that, trickle-down economics.
It doesn't work.
It's Randy Bowman, everybody!
Thanks so much.
Dude, it's a real privilege
to be the understudy here
to replace Jessica and Bill.
I was here to break glass in case of emergency.
And so, honored to fill that spot.
Well, that's a kind of a time-honored tradition
on Doug Loves Movies
to keep the guests a secret
because, you know,
if somebody does cancel
or if somebody might be around
that people think might show up doesn't,
for all those situations, you're covered.
They can't be like,
oh, well, they might be a little disappointed,
but less so than if you tout
that someone's going to be there.
And for the second year in a row,
we completely ignored that
and told everybody who planned on being here.
Exactly, exactly what was happening.
And unfortunately, Jessica Curzon, not unfortunately, because good for her,
she's got a part in this Pete Davidson, Judd Apatow movie.
And so she had to, like, shoot all night last night.
And she's still going to make it to the concert tonight,
but she's comfortably resting now, I assume.
Yeah, it's great consent to the airport.
Comfortably resting.
It sounds like she was in an accident or something. She's comfortably resting now, I assume. Yeah, it's great consent to the airport. Comfortably resting.
It sounds like she was in an accident or something.
She's comfortable now.
Yeah, no, I just didn't want anybody to think she's not going to make the show because, you know, she was too tired to make it to this show.
We've established that.
But she's going to come out of it in time for tonight's show.
And I get it.
I get the difference between 200 people and you know
10 000 people i understand that those 10 000 people will keep you awake even if you don't
want to be right you're not gonna walk out in front of 10 000 people and doze off probably not
no and but thank you for having this whole festival oh yeah man eighth year yeah it's been
crazy like if you look at the lineup of
people that we've had through the years it's pretty awesome to watch like you know because
we always do it in a place that has 1200 capacity at the bime theater and roy's been on i think this
is roy's third one yeah second or third yeah and i know you did the sullivan son tour that
we came and drank a lot i don't remember why i was here thousand night i met kenny g and i had
dinner with kenny g Yeah. That's adorable.
Yeah, I sat down at a bar
when I was going to meet
Roy and those guys
and I wanted to grab a bite
really quick
and I sat down next to Kenny G
who happened to be
coming through Pittsburgh
because he flies his own plane
and he didn't want to fly at night
so he'd gotten as far as Pittsburgh
coming back from New York
and he stopped
and he went and had dinner
at this place on the south side.
You treat your whole city
like a rest stop.
He did. That story really lacked
details.
There's also a pilot you don't
want to fly with.
I don't like flying at night. It's not something
you'd want to hear from a pilot. That means
you're not good.
Holy shit. Calm me down
with your music, but I... Both hands on
the wheel, motherfucker.
You know...
The yoke.
If you fly at night, how do the planes see each other?
I don't know.
I don't know, man.
He's got a really good point.
Kenny goes without radar.
That's what...
It's on instinct.
Just like his music.
That's what the G stands for.
Good point.
All right.
How did you have dinner with him?
Can I ask more about this Kenny G thing?
Please.
You just sit down next to him
and go, you're alone?
I sat down at the bar
and I didn't realize it
and then someone came up
and asked for his autograph
and I was like, oh man,
I'm sitting next to Kenny G.
And eventually,
he liked the beer glass I had
and he was like,
hey, how do I get one of those? And I was like, well, you just order it, Kenny G. And, uh, eventually he liked the beer glass I had. And he was like, Hey, how do I get one of
those? And I was like, well, you just order it. Kenny G it's a, it's a Peroni. I'm like, hi,
I'm Randy. And like our dinners were being timed at the exact same time. So I knew I'm like,
I'm literally going to have three courses with Kenny G right now. And he was lovely. He was a
totally, uh, he was a very nice guy. And he set me up When I went to It's true When I went to Venice Beach
He's like
You have to eat
At my favorite restaurant
When you go out there
And I emailed him
And he got me a reservation
And I went and ate there
Pretty sure he has a boyfriend
I'm alright with it
I mean
Kenny and I are tight
He's a good guy
Call him right now
I don't have his digits
I do have his email
Well I
Is it Kenny Gmail?
Oh quick email him
I'll let you know If I get an email By the time we're done here I do have his email. Well, I... Is it Kenny G-mail? Oh, quick, email him.
I'll let you know if I get an email by the time we're done here.
Kenny G-mail.
You know his last name is Gorlick.
Gorlick?
Shut up, you're not dating.
Then I get it.
I get the Kenny G thing now.
You have to go by G.
Kenny G-mail?
Should have gone with lick.
Kenny lick.
Kenny can't fly at night male
I'm so rich I can afford a plane but I don't know how to get a glass
fucking furious
how do you get one of those
back pocket wallet
well I wasn't going to engage him you don't want to do the celebrity I'm going to bother him Get one of those. Backpocket, wallet.
Well, I wasn't going to engage him,
so you don't want to do the, like,
oh, there's a celebrity, I'm going to bother him.
Let me get one for you, Kenny.
Sitting on the tarmac.
I don't think the word wallet's going to come up much,
but that would be a fun wrinkle if whenever one of my guests says wallet,
everybody in the audience starts yelling it.
It would really trip somebody out.
How'd you feel about it?
Wallet.
Yeah.
Did you hear people saying it?
I heard it.
I was just like, no.
You think people are that into you?
They just repeat the best words?
No, I just thought they were huge Fisherman fans, and they yelled out, walleye.
To be honest with you, that's what I heard of.
Walleye, walleye, walleye, walleye.
Just a bunch of people.
But you said wallet.
I know, but it's...
I was confused, but at the same time,
I was just like, well, this is life.
In the movie Wall Street,
just to let you know where this wallet thing came from.
Don't want to know.
It's a great clip.
In the movie Wall Street,
Charlie Sheen and Martin Sheen are in an elevator,
and Martin Sheen says, he gets mad at Charlie,
and he says,
I don't judge a man
by the size of his wallet!
And ever since I talked about that
on the show,
people have been yelling wallet.
Wallet, yelling wallet.
Yeah, it's weird.
Well, Kenny G's wallet is small
because he's got no money in it.
Judge him.
So what'd you guys bring
for the prize bag?
Who wants to go first?
I'll go first.
All right.
I wanted to do something
that was like
a little Pittsburgh oriented.
That's nice.
So I got a Myron Cope
bobblehead here,
which if you don't know,
Myron Cope was like
the legendary
Pittsburgh Steelers
play by play.
Well, he was the color analyst, but he had a real unique sort of voice and verbiage.
He used a pretty unique word.
Yeah, yo-wee and double yo-wee.
Had?
Yeah, he passed away.
He's deceased.
All right.
Well, do you have any more dead dolls in there?
It's not like Annabelle.
It's not going to come to life.
Do you have any more shit
for people to take home and scare their children?
It's an old man screaming Yiddishisms.
It's got a battery, I believe, too.
Since he was famous for drinking
hot toddies, I have a Jameson
to go along with that.
Was he drinking on the air
like Harry Caray and shit?
Oh, yeah.
He definitely got lit a lot. At the end of his career, Oh, yeah. And then... Was he, like, drinking on the air like Harry Caray and shit? Oh, yeah. I mean, he got...
He definitely got lit a lot.
There was...
At the end of his career, he famously was celebrating with the Steelers' 79 Super Bowl
team, and he stayed out all night with those guys, and he was late for the game, and he
drove his car into the stadium.
He hit Heinz Field with his car.
The actual stadium.
And showed up late to the broadcast and was
bleeding from the head.
And still sat down and was ready to go.
Well, that's Doolish.
He's like, I just ran into Heinz Stadium, but
just keep talking and I'll catch up.
That one's when they didn't have security. When you could actually hit a building with a car
And nobody freaked out
Those are good times
Ruined by a certain group of people
He was a pretty famous guy
But he still ended up getting a couple of DUIs
In the 70s?
I think he continued the practice through the 80s
Okay, because I was going to say They didn't even have seatbelts in So they weren't giving DUIs away in the 70s? I think he continued the practice through the 80s. Okay, because I was going to say,
they didn't even have seatbelts in,
so they weren't giving DUIs away in the 70s.
I also brought
Three's Company
playing cards and stickers.
Okay.
In their immense condition.
Somebody's junk drawer
has been emptied.
You sure you don't want to just give away the time machine you came here in?
Scary from the 70s.
The show from the 80s.
And I have a
WDVE
commemorative 50th anniversary
t-shirt.
Yeah, this is the 50th anniversary
of the arena show.
I did it with Bill Burr and got Billy Gardell and Roy and Jessica and Ian to kind of blow it out.
So you're saying now you might scale it back next year for 51?
Potentially, yeah.
It's been kind of a pain in the ass to go this big.
It's a huge show.
51 seats for 51.
I'm very excited for it.
Thank you for bringing that stuff.
Can you re-bag it and pass it down to me?
Yeah.
And Ian, what do you have for us?
I'm so excited.
You went shopping.
I did go shopping at the 7-Eleven near the hotel,
and I got a movie pack.
So if you guys are movie fans,
I got popcorn that you pop in a microwave,
and I got two chocolate bars,
and I got two Coca-Colas,
because I overestimated and thought that you might in a microwave, and I got two chocolate bars, and I got two Coca-Colas, because I overestimated and
thought that you might have a spouse.
People are pretty paired up here.
I don't see too many loners
today. Here's Randy's.
Here's Jim's bag.
And that's
mine right there. Thank you very much. I love how
you described everything, didn't bother to take it out.
Like, just take my word for it.
These are the things that are in there.
You want me to show it?
I thought people knew what chocolate bars are.
Like, a lot of people didn't know what the fuck that bobblehead was.
But I'm pretty sure people know what fucking popcorn is.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I got skinny pop because it is.
And you guys got to take it down a little bit here.
You can say skinny pop.
I couldn't find the regular pop.
You could become the skinny pop comic.
Yeah.
Skinny pop. Yeah. You could get a, you You could become the Skinny Pop comic. Yeah. Skinny Pop.
Yeah, you could get a, you know, I'm trying to get you guys deals.
Oh.
I had no idea that's what was going on here.
Yeah.
Ian Banks should be in the Skinny Pop commercials. Remember how, um.
I like my popcorn.
Remember when John Doerr was in those cranberry ads?
How do you think he got that?
He was on my show and he brought some cranberries.
What do you got for us, Roy?
Thanks for the applause.
Thanks again.
Big clap for yours, but not mine.
These are some collector's items.
Mini Smiley Cookies.
Game Park.
I love the name.
Which you can only get at the Pittsburgh airport.
Or you can get them
other places.
All right,
I don't fucking know.
Maybe we're detecting
a theme
for these prizes.
All collectors are here.
A fresh bag
of roasted in Pittsburgh.
Is it pronounced
La Prima?
Yeah, man.
Sounds right.
La Prima coffee?
Yes.
Pauly's blend. I don't know who Pauly Yeah, man. Sounds right. Prima Coffee? Yes. Pauly's Blend.
I don't know who Pauly is, but...
Some gangster.
He's a cool motherfucker
who also likes beans
that's already ground for you
because I didn't know
if y'all had, you know...
I don't know what your coffee situation is
at your house.
And lastly, I have an authentic
Chick-fil-A Polynesian sauce.
You can't get these on Sunday, you guys.
So you have this for tomorrow.
This is not for consumption.
As this Polynesian sauce, I've received a hot tip.
Can't confirm, but received a hot tip
that one of Le'Veon Bell's side chicks
wants to touch this sauce.
So it's good luck, is what I'm saying.
It's good luck.
Did you see about him getting his jewelry stolen?
How fucking hilarious was that?
Did you guys laugh at that shit?
The running back that used to be here,
he fucking ditched the town.
What?
He went to Miami, had a threesome,
took a shower, woke up,
the chicks took all his shit.
I know that was like Christmas
for you guys here.
That was a good day.
All of that is in the prize bag.
Here we go.
I'd like to apologize
for my gifts.
Except for maybe,
I don't know about these smiley cookies
They're individually wrapped
So you can't consume all of them
Yeah, I'm pretty into it
I'm going to take one
They're individually wrapped
So, you know
The winner doesn't have to worry about tampering
But just look at these goddamn cookies.
They're little and they have a smile on them.
It says right on it, reasons to smile.
Only 90 calories.
That is 90?
Fuck that.
Jesus, I get that?
I've wasted nut free?
They're great to share?
Okay, now they're reaching.
Hey, you want 45 calories?
And they've got They've got no trans fats in them
Anyway
Change my mind
But they are cute
We also got some Dunkin Donuts
Here on the stage
Gentlemen
So if at any point
In the show
You feel like hurling a donut into the crowd,
feel free to do that.
Are you allowed to throw them at people?
Yeah.
This show just got pretty good.
They'll even hold up their name tag and let you throw it at their name tag.
No.
Yeah, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Just pick one out.
You must be feeling like I'm setting you up for something,
but this is legit
Get a glaze
And then hit that one back there
The Deadpool one
Oh!
That lady caught it good
She done good
But try again, Ian
That was like, you know
You gotta ease into it
Here, let's get Deadpool again.
Well, you could go someone else, but that's one of the bigger ones.
You want a big one.
All right.
All right.
Jesus.
All right, that was good.
Let me show you how it's done, though.
Deadpool.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Here we go, Deadpool.
Sit her down there, Cole.
Don't throw the high heat.
Oh!
Oh!
All right. Oh! All right.
Oh!
All the candy he pasted onto his poster fell off.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Could have won that.
Can I do it again?
Yeah, sure.
We got all day.
You guys got a show tonight at 8.
That throw was almost wild enough
to be in the Cubs' bullpen.
The sound when it hits is satisfying.
Do you want to try it?
No.
I'm not just throwing pastries at people.
What is happening?
Why is this happening?
You good, Randy?
We're going to need more donuts.
No, I'm good.
I think we're good.
I don't think I can compete with Ian's donut hurling.
Oh, my God.
Is everybody okay?
Thank you.
I'm going to need a napkin.
Because I'm so hard after doing that.
Oh, my God. That was... I don't need to do the show tonight. I just want Because I'm so hard after doing that Oh my god
That was
I don't need to do the show tonight
I just maxed out right now
Like seriously
My career is over
I'm going to become a mechanic after this
I just hurled donuts at people
And they were excited
They wanted it
They wanted you to throw donuts at them
Waitress
Can I do it again?
Yeah
May I please have a double crown and coke?
Hey can I have a Tito's and soda?
I was not going to drink, but this is clearly a situation.
What is this thing called?
Whiskey is needed.
Darker the berry?
Okay.
Oh my!
Are you okay?
She's okay.
Why are you doing this?
It's an Olin Ryan-ing fucking...
Because I was throwing it nice and then Doug just whipped it and I'm like, yeah.
Fucking softball.
Fuck that.
No.
No.
She's five feet away from the stage.
I don't care.
The guy behind her was eight.
He was eight feet away.
I had to get it to him.
Sadly, it went off a little bit.
Did you know?
Did you know, ma'am?
Did you know when you left the house today
that hot donuts would be flying?
Let's do one into a hand.
Give me a hand. Hold your hand up if you want one.
This guy right here.
This is...
I better do it again.
No, give it to him. Don't throw it back.
Oh, he took a bite out of it.
He took a bite out of it.
That guy knows what he's doing.
Let's try again. There you go. He took a bite out of it. That guy knows what he's doing. Christ, let's try again.
There you go.
All right, I'll do it nicely.
What?
Can someone catch it in their mouth?
That would be the...
Why not donut munchkins?
They're smaller, they're shaped like a ball.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right, that is the way to go.
Well done.
Like munchkins with a golf club.
Yeah.
Chip shots. We get the minis sometimes. Those are fun. Sorry I hit you in thekins with a golf club. Yeah. Chip shots.
We get the minis sometimes.
Those are fun.
Sorry I hit you in the shoulder with a donut, lady.
It's your fault for crowding the plate, ma'am.
But we just get what we get, you know?
Like, there's no other donuts, right?
You crowd the plate, you know?
The pitch is going, yeah.
Oh, wait.
Here we go.
Little chin music.
What is that?
Little ones.
Oh, jeez.
More ammo.
Little ones?
So like you can hit little midget people with them?
What's that?
We call them donuties.
Oh, there you go.
Now we're talking.
Oh, this one's partial.
Frosted donuts.
There's so many people that don't want one.
That lady again, I'm sorry.
She's constantly ducking.
You're gonna get PTSD from a comedy show. This is what they should do at Pirates games.
They should just have a donut cannon.
I could see her walking into a Dunkin' Donuts.
Just all jittery.
All right, you guys.
Look at that.
Nice.
This is like watching you down at the pond.
Yeah.
Throwing donuts to the birds and the fish.
I've been going about my career all wrong.
People will let you just
hit them with food.
I'm going to be honest with you.
This is probably something
you should do at the end.
Because now I don't want
to stop this at all.
This is really exciting.
I didn't throw anything.
I used to play baseball.
I'll flashback and I'll try to take out somebody's eye.
And that's not nice.
So, Ian.
Yes?
Whenever you get an answer right during the games, we'll have you throw another donut.
I'm pretty sure that's the last time I threw a donut.
Because I'm not good at knowledge.
You never know.
You never know what you know.
I'm pretty sure that's how knowledge doesn't work.
Yeah, it's weird.
You never know how much knowledge you have.
You know, because you like some movies, don't you?
I do.
I love movies.
Well, I ask everybody one question before we get to the game portion.
And I'll just start with you, Ian.
What was the last
motion picture that you saw in any
format? I seen
Pirate Radio on HBO
three nights ago.
There's a lady
that's allergic to obscure
movies.
Wasn't that Nick Hornby? Didn't he write
that? Oh, maybe.
Yeah, I think so.
I think he did.
And it was...
You should know.
It's about a radio station.
Sure, yeah, we all start on pirate ships and eventually make our way to land.
Those were formative days.
Somalian pirate radio ship.
Yeah, but they did that pirate radio for guys like you.
Sure.
You know, they sacrificed by going out on a boat and doing radio.
That's right.
But did you like it? Was it good, Ian?
I did like it. I laughed a lot, and
it was a very interesting movie.
There was beautiful women in it, and
there was really funny
lines in it. I really liked it. I remember liking it.
I haven't seen it for a while. Apparently nobody else
has seen it. Bill Nighy's in that movie, too, right?
He plays the same role in every one of those
movies.
The English actor who's in...
Never mind.
They're all English.
I know they're all English.
That English actor, well, that is not helping me in that movie
because it was from England.
There's like one American, though.
Isn't it like Philip Seymour Hoffman?
Yeah, Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Because they couldn't get Gaffigan.
Have you noticed
his movie career
has picked up
in the last couple of years
since the incident?
that's okay.
Gaffigan's doing much better,
so I'm pretty sure
Jim Gaffigan
killed Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Oh, he's,
oh, I want to eat food.
Murder, murder, murder.
Oh, thank you so much.
I like this,
this berry drink. This very berry. Oh, thank you so much. I like this berry drink.
This very berry.
Sorry, got my donut solid.
Roy, what was the last movie you saw?
That new X-Men, the bad one.
Like?
Did you like it
like it makes me not even want to go see
Spider-Man like you ever just get like
scorned by one movie that you go fuck that
genre for a while
like it's like that I'm gonna knock out
Spider-Man because I got to because somebody will spoil
it for me but yeah the X-Men movie, I saw that.
And then I saw the Ava DuVernay When They See Us on Netflix, which is a very good true story.
That's it, man.
I have a child.
I don't have time.
I get it.
But that Netflix thing is like a series, right?
Like a mini series, like only four or five episodes or something. Yeah, I got to watch that. It looks really good. Randy, what about you?
John C. Reilly has been so good at disappearing into his roles, and I felt like he's finally reached a level of exposure where I'm having a hard time separating Steve Brule from the
role he's playing in the movie.
Every time I see him, I just think Shake and Bake.
Right.
Like, every time I see John C. Reilly.
Yeah, it's pretty good, but I also watched half of Putney Swope, because I've been meaning
to watch that forever.
Do you know that movie?
No.
It was Robert Downey Sr.'s film that was like at the height of the black power movement.
And he it was like this satirical take on like a takeover by all these like this black guy that worked for this company.
And they go out and market all these products in this like very sort of bizarre way.
It's like sort of avant-garde flick.
And you've seen half of it.
Yeah, but it was very funny.
I highly recommend the half I saw.
So you're psyched to get back to that?
I can't get, yeah.
Next year I'll let you know how the second half is.
Oh my God, that'd be so great to get an update.
Yeah.
That's how we rebuild.
Finally we can find out if
Putney Swope
is worth it
from beginning
to end
highly recommend
the 60 minute
part yeah
but yeah his
father Robert
Downey Jr.
he's very
very interesting
filmmaker and
actor he appeared
on camera quite a
bit too
yeah it's really
bizarre and he
actually dubbed in all of the lines for the lead actor.
And I can't remember the lead actor's name now,
but he did a few episodes of Sanford and Son.
But he did the voice of that black dude for the whole movie.
And it's kind of disconcerting.
What? Is this a prequel to Black Klansman?
Or a reboot?
Or a black actor with a white voice actor Doing black voice
Yeah so Robert Downey Sr.
Does all of the dialogue
And he has this voice
And it's like this
It's very bizarre
And that was when
America was great
Also I meant that other movie
Sorry to bother you
Right? Oh yeah Cause in that one White, Sorry to Bother You. Right?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because in that one, white guys pretend to do the black voices.
Right.
The guy from Oakland made that.
I can't remember his name.
But yeah, it's a great flick.
Boots Riley.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, that's all the movies that you guys have seen.
Lots of great recommendations in there.
Let's chuck some donuts!
Sorry, I hit you in the shoulder with a donut.
So let's move on to the
part where I say, turn it off
Bert, let the games begin!
I've prepared some games
and audience members have prepared
some name tags and what I need
each of you to do is
go ahead and bring them out you guys
what I need each of you to do is select
the name tag that
you like the most because it's either
because it's got something stuck to it
that you like
there's some candy on some of these
or it's a movie you like.
Or in some cases, it might
have your face on it. Does anybody
have any of their faces on them?
Should you pick somebody if by mistake
you hit their girlfriend with a donut?
Oh, that's a great reason.
Great reason to pick him.
So just go and physically get the
name tag from the person you want to play
on behalf of.
I like Nat and Al born killers.
Nat and Al born killers.
Nat and Al.
But like Nat's Rao, but Nat and Al born killers.
Did I say that right?
Yeah.
All right.
Fuck it.
I'll represent.
Do you want him to bring that down?
Yeah.
All right.
Bring that down here.
And Randy's going to go grab one while he does that.
That's Nat. He's Al. we'll go back to a brief we'll go to a brief okay commercial message we'll be right back hey everybody i
just want to quickly tell you about two california doug loves movies tapings you don't want to miss july 9th at the ucb franklin location in los angeles at 9 30 p.m and july 13th at flappers
in burbank at 4 20. that's tuesday and saturday one of your favorite guests has committed to
appearing at both of those shows get your your tickets now. Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
You guys missed some Daily Show level humor.
It was incisive and political.
Sorry, Doug, we ruined your show.
And delightful.
Let's see who everybody's playing for.
Randy, who'd you grab?
I'm playing for Nico, brother.
Where art thou? Nico is the person's name. And he put all of our faces on the movie poster? I'm playing for Nico, brother. Where art thou?
And he put all of our faces on the...
Oh, he got everybody, yeah. Nico, brother,
where art thou? Okay.
What do you got, Ian?
I got Jeremy, myself,
and Irene. I'm guessing you're Irene?
You're not Irene, sir, are you?
He's Jeremy, she's Irene.
Are you Irene, ma'am?
No, you're just a lady with a circle on her shoulder from a donut.
That's where it didn't hit
because it was missing in the middle.
I mean, if she didn't want to get hit by a donut,
she wouldn't be sitting there.
Yeah, right.
It's a dumb place for a diabetic.
That's quite the victim blaming.
You wouldn't be sitting there if you didn't want to get hit.
You're asking for it.
I was doing a parody of victim blaming.
You take your nine toes and get out of here.
All right, so let's check this out.
There's a lot going on here.
Nat and Al, born killers.
So it's like two people made this?
Nat and Al?
Got a couple right there.
Do you like that movie that it's based on? Is that why you picked it?
Yeah, I just like the effort.
I like the artistic work.
I like whatever the fuck sauce that is
on the edge of the sign.
Oh yeah, that's really, that's an interesting touch.
Only an artist
would add something like that.
Is that instead of a signature?
Is that in lieu of signing?
Simulate blood.
Yeah, just showing you how hard it was to make.
This is cardboard.
It could cut you very badly.
I bet you there's some artistic people in here pissed off right now.
That's artistic?
I don't have candy on mine.
Let's just throw it down on the ground.
You said artistic.
Where it deserves to be.
Autistic.
I bet you there's some mad autistic people.
I'm like, dude, that was kind of harsh.
Where's some autistic people who hated that choice?
Autistic people hate that.
There's too many hugs.
All right, just go ahead and put your name tags on the floor in front of you where I can see them.
Name tags where I can see them, gentlemen.
Sorry, sorry.
No, that's good. That's good.
I'll never forget Jeremy, myself, and Irene, or Nico, and Nat now.
Those are the people that could win all of this stuff, including tickets to tonight's big show.
I got a few games prepared.
What's up? I just made a noise, sorry. Oh, okay.
Tourette's.
Now the Tourette's people.
Jesus. I have
a touch of the Tourette's, so leave me alone.
Or I'll
yell at you for no reason.
I feel like
the act of becoming a stand-up comic
is you have a touch of Tourette's.
Touch of Tourette's.
Just for deciding that, oh, what I have to say is going to work.
People are going to like it.
When I talk, it's going to work out great.
All right, this first game is called Live, Die, Repeat.
It's so simple.
You don't have to know anything, really.
I mean, you have to know a little bit but it helps to know
you'll see what I mean
I'm going to say the title of a movie
the first person on stage
who repeats back that title
in its entirety and correctly
wins the game
sorry Jeremy
right I know everybody always looks
at me like, is that
it? And yes.
That is it.
I'm just going to say a title.
And we have to say it back.
Yeah. I'm going to say it slowly though.
And I'll start over every time somebody
guesses. Here we
go.
And you guess as often as you want.
There's no penalty for wrong answers.
Just makes you look bad.
Romancing the Stone.
See that? I love a pre-guess, too.
Putney Swope.
It is not Romancing the Stone.
The odds of it being, I mean, if it were Putney Swope,
I would quit.
Just walk off the stage in a hail of donuts.
That's a coincidence you can't
continue after.
Alright, here we go.
The title is
Me
Myself and Irene.
Me
and
Dupree.
No audience guesses.
Me and and Dupree. No audience guesses. Me
and
Earl
and the real girl.
Dying girl.
Me.
Me, Earl, and the dying girl.
That's it.
Me and Earl and the dying girl.
I don't like this game.
I know. Has that movie been made yet?
Guess why.
Because I've never heard of it. Guess why I picked that movie.
Because it was filmed here in Pittsburgh.
That's right.
Yes, sir.
Rachel in that movie,
whoever she is, she's not Earl or the
yeah, she's the dying
girl, I guess. Her house is in Squirrel Hill.
Yeah, right over there.
And I say we all go there after the show.
Is Rachel here?
I saw a documentary about her.
Is it about a girl from Pittsburgh
that gets hit in the shoulder by a donut
and then later on finds out she's bleeding out through that donut hole?
You're right.
They haven't made that yet.
But they should.
All right.
Randy gets to go first in our next game.
Is it?
We don't get multiple movies to guess?
No, it just happens.
It's like being shot out of a cannon.
You don't run over and jump back in.
Hmm.
Have you ever said that before?
Never said that before.
Oh my god.
And I'd admit it if I did.
I've got a lot of running jokes, but that's not one of them.
But this game lasts, each game takes a little longer as we go along.
That was like kind of a warm up.
And this one's called ABC Deez Nuts.
This is a spelling game.
We're going to spell something.
I feel like we're back in the canon.
We're what?
I feel like we're back in the canon
because we're doing that again.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, yeah.
You're about to get shot out again, buddy.
Oh, no.
But Randy gets to go first.
This one, we go one at a time.
I will say to Randy a letter.
He will say to me a movie that begins with that letter.
If he can't think of one, he's out completely. But, you know, there me a movie that begins with that letter. If he can't think of one, he's
out completely, but
you know, there's a lot of movies for each letter.
But
the movies begin with the, that begins with a T.
And
if you match the movie that I've
written down ahead of time, then you win
automatically.
And a theme will
emerge in the answers.
And we're going to spell
Squirrel Hill.
If squirrels could laugh, it would sound
like that lady in the back.
Oh, I wish that the listeners could have heard that, but she really is.
She is in the back, so they might be missing out.
Or it might just be one of those faces on the wall where you pull the string and it spits on you
and laughs.
Alright, so Squirrel Hill.
The first letter, Randy. We'll go to Randy,
then Ian, then Roy.
First letter is S, so all you gotta
do is name a movie that begins with S
and you're still in this thing.
Steel Magnolias.
Great answer. There's no reason
for you to be able to foresee some sort of
theme, so
you know, that's the best you could
hope for.
I went with Spider
Man.
Yeah. The next letter is Q for you, Ian.
Any movie that begins with Q.
Quiz show.
Perfect.
Yeah.
I almost passed out.
I was so terrified.
He asked a question.
I'm like, I hate game shows.
We're on it.
It's terrifying. I went with Quest for Fire. We're on it. It's terrifying.
I went with Quest for Fire.
Same thing.
I know, right?
That's a weird turn,
but there's just not enough Q.
Anyway, U is the next letter for Roy.
Any movie that begins with U.
Under Siege.
Oh, that's a really good one.
Part two, the one everyone hates.
Oh, shit. But if you go part two, Under Siege Oh that's a really good one Part 2 The one everyone Oh shit
But if you go full
If you go part 2
You gotta say the full title
You gotta remember
The rest of that
Stuff after the colon
Oh bitch
It's nothing to me
Under Siege
Dark Territory
Yeah there you go
Starring Morris Chestnut
Yeah I'm pretty sure
Steven Seagal
Got top billing, but yes.
In the hood, they put Morris Chestnut on the poster.
Yeah, and it was, you know, remember who played his daughter, who played Seagal's daughter?
No.
What's her nuts?
Catherine Heigl.
No.
It's true!
I love this
when I'm not
asking questions.
She played
Gerard Depardieu's
daughter in a movie
once too
and she was like
10 and wearing
the horrible
very revealing
bathing suit
that made me
uncomfortable.
I had to leave
the movie
and take care
of some things.
I went with
Uly's Gold
for you.
Uly's Gold. People probably don't even know
What that's about
Peter Fonda
Yeah it is
Good job
And he's
An audience member
Who said beekeeper
You guys
You know your shit
Back to you Randy
I
Interspace
Oh so close
Cause I went with
Infestation.
R.
Ian? Rambo.
Yeah.
That's always a safe answer.
I believe Rambo
4 or 5 was just called
Rambo. I went with
Return of the Fly.
Oh, come on. I know. Then of the Fly. Oh, come on.
I know. Then there's a second
R, Roy.
Ronin. I like that.
I picked Raiders
of the Lost Ark.
E.
Back to Randy.
E?
Every which way but loose.
Thank you very much.
What if I had written down every which...
I'll be naming other Clint Eastwood movies after the show.
Left turn, Clyde.
What if I had written down every which way you can?
Because it's any which way you can.
That would have been a sad...
Oh.
Either way, though, I didn't write down either or any.
I wrote eight-legged freaks.
L to Ian.
Oh, no.
You can do it.
I got relaxed, and now I freaked out now.
Just start to say, just go, luh, and then finish it.
Yes.
Oh my God.
I came from your gut. I know.
Pretty sure I've got an ulcer after that one. You tightened up your
core and launched it.
Yeah, stop using your brain. Use your
gut. H
is an excellent. Oh, for L, I went with larva.
Same.
Larva.
So, you know, we got...
So far, all these movies have, like,
bugs and spiders in them and stuff.
Yeah, I like to, you know, point it out.
H.
Honey, I shrunk the kids.
That's a... I should have done that.
I should have shrunk the kids.
No, I went with Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
I, Randy.
In the Loop.
I like that movie.
It's a great flick.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
L is your letter.
L?
You already had one L.
I don't think they did La Bamba 2.
The Aftermath. I don't think they did La Bamba 2. The aftermath.
Story kind of concludes.
Yeah.
La, la, la.
You just said it.
I mean, literally. La, la, la.
La, la, la.
La, la.
La, la.
La, la.
La, la, la.
La, la.
LA story? Yes. La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La Rodney D'Angerville. That's a good one, too. Kids playing soccer. Girls. Girls soccer team.
The Lady Bugs.
But there's one, he brings in a ringer that's a boy and he puts a wig on him.
It's very forward thinking.
Let's remake that one.
Go out there and play.
We're all going to use the same bathroom.
One more L for Roy.
Oh, yeah. Give him L, Roy. Oh, yeah.
Give him L, Roy.
Lion King.
It's the Lion King.
It's not Lion King?
Okay, I'll take it. No, no, that's fine,
because I had L.A. Confidential in my back pocket.
Oh, that's another good one, yeah.
I couldn't think of another L movie
that had anything to do with bugs or, you know,
spiders or snakes,
so I just said ladybugs again.
And nobody won, but everybody survived.
You're all going to the final round.
Can I just mention that lady's furious?
She's taking her candy off her pegboard over there.
She's like, I'm not playing, I'm eating it.
Don't throw it at that
diabetic lady over there.
What kind of candy you got on there?
Yeah, what?
Name one.
What's the best one?
Whoa.
Starts with an S.
Get that shit out of here.
What else?
Hey, toss one of those up here.
Oh, bottles?
No, thanks.
Don't throw bottles at us.
Oh, God.
All right.
Is that Dunkin' Donuts empty?
No.
Randy, do you want to throw one?
Come on, Randy.
Chuck it harder, that one lady.
We didn't have you throw one after you said me and Earl and the Dying Girl.
Oh, that was nice.
You skipped it across the crowd like it was a lake and a rock.
My dad took me donut throwing as a kid.
Skipping donuts across the lake.
Yeah, you know. Crowd, pond, what's the difference? Before he went for coffee, my dad took me as a kid. Skipping donuts across the lake. Yeah, you know.
Crowd, pond, what's the difference? Before he went for coffee, my dad took me for a donut.
All right, let's determine a winner today
because somebody needs to go out of here,
walk out of here with all these prizes.
And to do that, we're going to play a round
of Last Man Stanton.
For Jeremy!
This is for...
Yeah, you're playing for Jeremy.
I am going to go into the audience.
Pre-selected people via the internet
are going to give me a suggestion
of the name of an actor or actress.
And then we're going to start with Randy.
I like to play along on this one, but I cannot win.
I'm just here as a spoiler.
So we'll start Randy.
Then it goes to me, then Roy, then Ian.
We just have to name movies that person was in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But you each have one lifeline.
You can go to your name tag owner one time for assistance.
Get ready, Jeremy.
Yeah.
And I think you should go early.
That's what I tell people,
is get help from an audience member early
and then hang in there longer
is how I think it should work.
I can't concentrate that sound.
Kidding.
Do what you want.
It's just funny to me that you're angry.
Yeah.
There's a lot of crinkling coming from over there.
But that is smart.
When your name tag doesn't get chosen,
you don't have to buy food here at the club.
You just sit there and eat your snacks.
You should have thought about that before.
I don't know.
I'm just happy I don't have to name a movie after a letter again.
So happy about that.
Oh, my goodness.
Panic attack.
Well, you're going to panic again, probably.
Son of a bitch.
Let's go to the Dave Hart.
Where's he at?
Hey, dude.
What do you do?
I work with autonomous vehicles.
You work with what kind of vehicle?
Self-driving cars.
Self-driving cars?
It's one of the test cities for Uber.
Oh, how's it going?
We're still trying.
We're still trying.
Didn't one of them hit a lady or something here?
That is like the great campaign slogan.
I have a serious question about the self-driving cars and stuff.
Are y'all concerned about people fucking in the cars?
Like after last call?
Oh, okay.
All right.
Oh, they're just empty at this point.
It's just an autonomous car.
But once it's a thing, you're going to try to get it out there to the public.
Is that what people
are going to do with it?
Why would you get a hotel
if you could get
a self-driving Uber
to just pull up?
You just bang on the bridge.
Yeah, but people
are going to go out
at Solo, too,
if they're just
sitting there alone.
That one guy
that worked for the pirates.
Yeah.
That's he's going
to be overwhelmed. That was like a not tell it pirates. Yeah. That scene's going to be overwhelming.
That was like a not-tell-it-out-loud story.
Oh, yeah.
You'll be sitting at a green light.
You'll be sitting at a green light going,
why won't this jerk-off go?
Oh, my goodness.
I had no idea.
No, that's okay.
It wasn't totally public knowledge, but it is now.
All right, Dave, so you get to be the person who suggests a name today for us to play in this game.
Jake Gyllenhaal.
He's going Gyllenhaal, Jake.
Now, this is the part where I look at the panelists.
Ian does not look confident.
I think that Randy could do some
Gyllenhaals. How do you feel,
Roy?
I'm good for about four.
Okay.
Do I have to be on the nose down to the
colon dark territory
of the title? Yeah, but
Gyllenhaal doesn't have any of those.
He's never in sequels.
Except for the first movie he's in, I think,
is a classic after the colon.
And I'll say it when it gets to me.
But let's get a second name, right?
Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Let's make it...
No.
Please, no.
Yeah, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard.
Let's get the whole family.
No, but let's go to...
Where's Lyra the Russian?
Hello.
Hey.
Did I say that right?
Lyra?
Lyra.
Lyra?
The Russian?
L-E-R-A, the Russian.
Yeah, so if you've ever wanted to meet the Russian, here she is.
Any
questions, guys, for the Russian? Yes.
Can you keep your fingers out of
the voting booth?
Because those cars
would be finished by now.
Yeah, Lera, keep out of it.
Lara.
Lara, Lara.
You're voting for her.
What do you do for a living, Lara?
I work for Section 8 Housing.
Section 8 Housing.
As a Russian?
Dope.
That's very nice of you.
And what's your suggestion for today?
Bill Murray.
Bill Murray. All right. Bill Murray all right that's it
I'm closing it down it's Bill Murray or Jake Gyllenhaal I don't believe they've
ever worked together but I could be surprised at some point like I said you
got one lifeline guys so use it wisely and if your lifeline craps out on you we
have a special thing where you can pull out your phone and call a celebrity.
You have to call the most famous person you think will pick up the phone and answer the question.
Kenny G?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're fucking calling Kenny G.
This is a job for Kenny Gorlick, if there ever was one.
I can't talk right now.
It's daytime.
I'm flying.
I have to get as many miles in as I can
before the sun starts to fall.
Every superhero has an Achilles, you know?
This is the saxophone.
Yeah.
I can't believe how many Kenny G fans are here.
You leave that saxophone out of this.
That guy with the P on his shirt over there?
That's because he's a Kenny G fan.
He's dyslexic. Yeah, no, he's just
Just put a P on his shirt so no one will know
No one will ever guess
That it's for Kenny G
Does the P just mean Pittsburgh?
Yeah, that's the Pirates logo
Oh, it is? That's a logo?
Yeah
It's there in Stiggy
It's not the official logo
That one on the hat, I get that one It's the same logoiggy. It's not the official logo. That one on the hat.
I get that one.
It's the same logo.
Did you make that yourself?
No.
No?
Where'd you go?
Did you go to the Pittsburgh store?
Knockoffs in the strip district.
Knockoffs in the strip district, whatever that means.
Sounds like an area I need to go to.
It's a yellow P.
You can do it however you can.
I know. You don't pay full price for one fucking letter on your shirt. It's a yellow piece. You can do it here. Get it however you can. I know.
You don't pay full price
for one fucking letter
on your shirt.
That's a smart man.
The Pirates guy
was too busy jerking off
to come up with
a more intricate logo.
I understand the Penguins logo.
He's got the hockey puck
and he's wearing skates.
You don't want to get
that bootleg.
That's fucking weird.
It'd be a walrus.
Walrus with...
Isn't that the Penguins logo?
What's that guy's shirt say?
Ventura?
California Ventura?
Holy shit, dude.
Is that a knockoff?
Are you from Ventura?
Because that's what you have to wear, right?
You have to wear your town on your shirt just in case you get lost.
That's why his shirt says, oh, hello.
He's from, hello, Ohio.
Oh, my shirt.
Oh, hello.
I don't know where I'm from.
Please get me home.
We got the Italian.
Is that an Italian soccer kit right there?
Yes, cheap.
Yes.
I thought she was a Beetlejuice fan at first.
Or just came from Foot Locker.
Alright.
Okay, so we gotta play this game.
Alright, so like I said,
Randy's gonna start us off,
and then it'll go to me, and we'll just go around
naming movies with the great Bill Murray
and the you know
also pretty good
Jake Gyllenhaal
so the whiskey's starting to hit me I got questions
can we pick either
actor at any time
throughout the contest or do we do
Gyllenhaal to exhaustion and then...
So I can pull me the bucket at any time.
We should get Kenny G on the phone
right now.
The
strategy is to save your most obscure
ones, if you can remember,
for later.
Because if you say those early, it's not
stopping anybody.
Got that, Ian? No, I'm out.
Sorry, Jeremy.
Go ahead, Randy.
Stripes.
Who's in that?
Bill Murray.
Should we point so we know which bucket we're looking?
Wait, what do you mean?
The Bill Murray or the... They're both over there, though.
Yeah, you don't have to point.
One's a Russian.
I was just joking around.
I mean, I think most of these will know which one was in it.
I don't remember Bill Murray and Brokeback Mountain.
Nice.
So what's the rotation? One, two, three?
Yeah, it's you now.
Let's go Ghostbusters.
Okay. That makes it easy for Ian.
Ghostbusters 2.
We're still in this, Jeremy.
You can't stop us, Russian.
Randy?
Meatballs.
Uh-huh.
Are you ready for the summertime?
A whole lot of food on the route. Oh my god, will you really sing the theme song of every... Okay, uh, Caddyshack? Hmm.
Ah, well, okay.
Roy? Nightcrawler.
Oh, yeah. Do you like that? Okay.
I like that movie.
I recommend it to people
when they come back to me
going,
please don't ever talk to me.
Please stop.
Charlie's Angels.
Oh, nice.
We're still in it, Jeremy.
Whatever you do,
don't go full throttle.
Too late.
I got way too confident.
Randy?
Moonrise Kingdom.
Oh, okay.
I like the box that opens up.
Might as well bang out some of those, right?
I'll go all the way back to Rushmore.
Roy.
Prince of Persia.
Oh, God damn it.
Right?
There's some stupid extra words in there.
Fans of time.
Wow.
Let's see if he can figure it out.
Based on an audience member saying the words. The Prince of Persia's Sands of Time.
Yes, you did it.
Nice pull.
I don't want to bring it up, but I'm pretty sure a black guy helped you.
I don't want to bring it up, but I'm pretty sure a black guy helped you.
I'm calling you the Prince of Poolsia, because that was a good pull.
Ian?
Oh, no.
I was too busy being funny, and then I forgot.
We got Moonrise Kingdom and Rushmore.
People are just saying them now.
That guy was wrong when he did it.
So don't repeat that by continuing.
We're going to play this game for a while.
Garfield.
Say anything yet.
Garfield.
Very good.
I'd walk out too.
It's been halfway through the show.
I've got to comb my hair.
We're going to...
Randy.
We're the Buffalo Realm.
Uh-huh.
That's right.
An early Bill Murray one that wasn't well received.
What's his name?
Hunter Thompson.
I'm going to go with
Garfield 2
colon
A Tale of Two Kitties.
How do you know this shit?
Because that is too stupid to not know
Back to you, Roy
You can go to your lifeline
Doesn't hurt to use it early
Because, you know
Might jumpstart some ideas
We're good
Let's go to Nat now
No? No, not yet, Nat jumpstart some ideas. We're good. Let's go to Nat now. No? No, I don't
know. No, not yet, Nat now. Settle down, Nat now.
End
of watch. Yes.
Now, you like that one. That was
a solid answer. Okay, good. I like
that one. Is that when the
iPhone came out and people stopped
using watches? and watches.
You're right.
Just turn away.
What do you got, Ian?
Lost in translation.
Look at you!
I'm out.
You're still in dude Randy
Jarhead
I mean I got a high and tight haircut
but there's no reason to
call names
this one's super fun too
and I meant to say it early on
but I'm glad I saved it
Jake Gyllenhaal's, one of his
first appearances in motion
pictures was in...
Oh, fuck.
Oh, I feel like I'm going to fuck it up, but here goes.
City Slickers 2,
The Search for Curly's Gold.
You nailed it.
Somebody in the back went, wrong.
I'm going to go with...
Wait, it's Legend and not Search?
You're sure?
They're not searching for it?
They're just sitting around talking about what a legend it is?
They're not searching for it They're just sitting around talking about what a legend it is
You nailed a Tale of Two Kitties
Yeah
Fuck you oh hello
Son of a bitch
Alright back to you Roy
Day after tomorrow
Well
There's no fucking colon What's before day tomorrow. Mm-hmm. Well.
Don't.
There's no fucking colon.
What's before day?
What do you mean
before day?
Yesterday.
The day before
tomorrow?
Yeah.
No, no.
You're fucking
with me.
You're so close.
I was right.
I was right.
It's just called
It's frozen. It's ice and shit. It's just called day after tomorrow. That's I was right. It's just called Day After Tomorrow?
That's what I said.
It's not a specific
Day After Tomorrow?
You think it's
a Day After Tomorrow?
The next Day After Tomorrow?
The Day After Tomorrow?
It's just...
The?
Yeah, there's a fucking the on there.
I'm pretty sure.
Well, that's why, you know,
that's why you give another chance.
You don't just say wrong.
You say, you know, full title.
They call the people of Jeopardy that fuck with you
for fucking up.
Ian.
Kingpin.
Oh, look at you.
That's really good.
That's another
Pennsylvania movie.
I only know Ben Martin.
Groundhog Day. Yes.
Yes.
Seems obvs.
That might have helped Roy a little bit.
What do you think, Roy?
Looking back on all those Bill Murrays.
Recently, lots of character actor work from that gentleman.
We named Moonrise Kingdom and Rushmore.
Shh.
Shh.
Don't know why
people still want to say answers.
I think they just got really fucked up
and came down here and
don't know what's happening.
Like at their AA meetings, they can say all the answers
they want.
You haven't gone to Nat and Al yet.
No.
It's not my turn. It isn't?
No. It's your turn.
I said, what do you got, Roy? I fucked up on the Legend of Curly's goal.
Which I still think is search.
Stay in the game. Stay in the goal. Which I still think is search.
Oh, that's so nice of you.
Oh, thanks. Oh, in that case.
Name a movie. You're still in this shit.
Okay, I'll go with, if I'm still in it,
I'll say Zombieland.
Yeah. Bill Murray. He was in Zombieland. Yeah. Bill Murray.
He was in Zombieland?
Ask himself.
It's a great turn.
It's a great moment.
Spider-Man Far From Home.
Whoa.
Who's in that?
Gyllenhaal's in that?
Oh, he's like the bad guy?
I don't watch trailers anymore.
I just go see the fucking movie.
Okay, cool.
We'll see it.
Yeah, it opens in a couple days.
I feel like if it's already on IMDB,
the shit counts.
I feel like you're right.
Ian?
Oh.
Do you want to go to your lifeline?
Can I go to my lifeline?
Yeah, where's, where are they at?
Where's Jeremy and Irene? Jeremy speaking.
Bubble boy.
Bubble boy.
He's got the internet We're up here alone
You could have clapped for us after a couple answers
That was a dick move
Thank you bud
It's not the adventures of
It's just straight up Bubble Boy
Didn't mean to hit your lady with a donut
The legend of Bubble Boy
I wish it was The legend of Bubble Boy.
I wish it was The Search for Bubble Boy.
Randy?
Donnie Darko.
Yes, Donnie Darko. Oh.
Okay.
I feel like the locals are getting all the applause.
I'm going to go with
Demolition.
Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck you.
That was my fucking ace in the hole.
Was it?
Fuck.
That was my Gyllenhaal obscure fucking none of these three fucks will know it movie.
Shit.
Yeah, I fucks.
All right.
So I got to burn my life aquatic with Steve Zissou now.
Oh, that is a good one.
I didn't want to burn it yet, though.
Well, if I can tell you, fuck you, then I'm going to fucking go to you, motherfucker.
Fucking son of a fucking bitch.
Didn't think any of these freaking dicks would have that fucking one.
So Ian's out?
Ian's out.
Okay.
Wait, aren't you allowed to call somebody famous in your phone?
I don't have no Kenny G's lying around my phone book.
Well, that's also if your lifeline fails you.
Nikki Sixx is not going to know anything.
We don't have time for everybody to be making calls.
Randy?
I can't remember what I was going to...
So many. It was like strategy. Like, which what I was going to... So many.
It was like strategy.
Which one am I going to burn?
Yeah.
Quick change.
Oh, yes. Quick change. That's good.
I'm going to say
The Dead Don't Die
in theaters now. Yeah.
Back to Roy.
Nat now.
Lifeline time.
Nat now.
Give me one.
You got this.
Wait, your name's not Nat or Al.
People are dying to fucking yell out.
Why'd you think it was your turn, lady?
Squirrel town, shut up.
Did you hear what she said?
No.
Okay, we didn't hear it, so let's just go to Nat or Al or both.
Oak jaw.
Oak jaw.
Ooh, deep cut.
Yeah, a Netflix movie
where Gyllenhaal gives
a wacky performance,
I'm told.
I haven't seen it.
It's great.
Bong Joon-ho.
Okay.
Yeah, Bong Joon-ho
to you, too.
All right.
Skipping Ian.
Moo. Moo.
Randy.
Royal Tenenbaums.
Yes.
The Royal Tenenbaums.
You know, there's a lot of things you guys know about me.
You know that I like musicals, that I love movies,
and I think you also probably know that I like musicals, that I love movies, and I think you also probably know that
I love dogs.
Is that must love dogs?
No, Isle of Dogs.
Oh, Isle of Dogs.
Is it Gyllenhaal in Must Love Dogs?
What? No, that's
John Cusack.
Does anybody say Caddyshack yet?
Yeah.
Anybody say Caddyshack 2 yet?
Why would he be in that?
Jake Gyllenhaal was in it.
Jake Gyllenhaal classic, Caddyshack 2.
He's alright.
He's alright.
Give me a 10 second countdown.
10 seconds.
Here we go.
Eight seconds.
Does he know?
Four seconds.
Ghostbusters remake with Melissa McCarthy.
Yes!
Yes!
I thought the first time somebody said Ghostbusters, with Melissa McCarthy. Yes! Yes! I thought the first time
somebody said Ghostbusters, they meant that one.
Ah, cha-cha-ba-oh!
Son of a bitch!
Yeah, that is fucked up.
That is the same name
exactly.
I just fucking hit it.
You're more like Durant on one leg.
It should have been called Ghostbusters, colon,
here we go again.
Randy.
Broken Flowers.
Listen to this guy.
What the fuck movies do you watch?
That's another Jim Jarmusch.
You were laughing when I said Putney Swope earlier.
It's like you got a spastic colon or something.
Broken Flowers is another Jim Jarmusch movie,
and he just did The Dead Don't Die with him,
and he also did Coffee and Cigarettes.
With RZA and the GZA.
Some answers remind you of other movies.
I like pulling like these Turner Classic movies.
No.
There's no way Jim Jarmusch is on Turner Classic movies.
I'll put a spell on you.
Stranger Than Paradise.
Bill Murray.
Yep.
You got this.
So many movies.
A lot of Gyllenhaals.
He's in all the movies.
So many that you forget.
Right?
Half of the fucking movies.
It's tough when you're on the spot.
I don't know, man.
Fucking Rookie of the Year.
Taking care of business.
I had just some shit
with the Cubs in it.
Right?
He should be in some shit
with the Cubs in it.
I'm out.
Okay.
I'm out.
Does he like even show up
in that Fever Pitch movie?
No.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Should watch more.
The irony is that
I'm good friends
with Brian Dore Murray.
Like that's like.
You know what's stupid?
I'm in a movie with Bill Murray
and I didn't even name it.
Oh, shit.
Bitch.
I know which one.
Don't say it yet.
Don't say it yet.
Let's see what Randy's got.
I'm so mad.
Randy and Doug, the showdown.
Tootsie.
What? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Tootsie.
Bill Murray and Ian Bagg co-star in Cradle Will Rock.
Nobody saw it.
No?
Truth.
Oh, yeah.
Truth.
Yeah, okay.
Truth, who wants to touch me?
Don't say no.
Not you, yeah. Truth. Yeah, okay. Truth, who wants to touch me? Don't say no. Not you, Russian.
You go see some opera stars.
All right, back to you.
Sorry, ballet stars.
Sorry, ballet stars.
Scrooged.
This is intense.
I can't believe this is happening.
Larger than life.
That's the elephant movie?
Yeah.
Fuck.
All right.
Operation Dumbo Stop.
I don't want to burn the lifeline just yet.
Oh, what the fuck?
I haven't done it.
All right, Nico.
You still got the lifeline?
Look at you go.
Look at you go.
Nico.
He's going to Nico.
Osmosis Jones.
Osmosis Jones. Osmosis Jones.
Thank you, Nico.
Well played.
Nice work.
Space jam.
Seriously, he was in it?
Yeah.
Who did he find?
The Razor's Edge.
Oh!
Damn it.
Oh. Oh. Oh! Damn it. Oh.
Oh.
Oh, motherfucker.
What was that one?
Oh, St. Vincent.
St. Vincent.
But MacArthur.
Damn.
What's the Jake Gyllenhaal movie
filmed in Pittsburgh
where he dates Anne Hathaway
and she has...
That's not how this game is played.
Love and other drugs.
That's not how this game is played.
Describe the title.
That's the name of that game.
I said it.
I already said it.
So I can't use that one?
No, because you can't also ask us what answer you should.
I had the internal monologue just kind of came out.
It wasn't an actual plea.
We'll keep it inside.
You want to go with Love and Other Drugs?
Fuck!
Don't stop it.
I don't understand what people are getting about how we're going to finish this game,
and then you can go home and yell out anything you want.
Get out, sir.
That guy, he's thinking of yelling out, so he's
just saving all of us.
Now he's going to go in the green room.
Hey, that's comics only, buddy.
Drop a deuce.
Oh man, he was going to leave such a steamer
in there.
He looked like he had movie knowledge too.
He did.
He did.
You want to describe anything else?
What's that movie that that one guy named Bill Murray's in?
I'm almost ready to tap out.
I'm going to be pissed.
Don't be pissed.
You did great
I play this all the time
I came in second place
He's not in the
Grand Budapest Hotel
What's that?
Grand Budapest Hotel
That's correct
Alright
That's what
Somebody yelled out
In the back earlier
That most people didn't hear
Alright
So you're still in it
And you're about to lose
If I could think of one more You're still in it. And you're about to lose.
If I could think of one more.
What's on that paper over there?
Answers.
No, just everything everybody's said so far.
Which is kind of a form of cheating, because if you can see it.
Some of my guests, Sam Levine likes to write them down as we play.
It makes it easier for them.
Have you ever lost?
Oh yeah, I lose all the time.
Because I say search instead of legend.
I get fucked by my own rules.
Do you get mad and take your movies home?
Taking all the movies and going home no movies for anyone
I said VCR
oh you know what
fantastic Mr. Fox
I was trying to
yeah I'm sorry
sorry to do that to you Randy
really thought it was yours.
The only thing I got is,
I'm not sure,
was Gyllenhaal in Celebrity?
Oh, the Woody Allen movie?
Yeah.
Can't be confirmed.
If there were only some way to find it.
I'm the winner.
But Randy is really the winner, everybody.
Give it up for Randy Bowman
the winners are the children
where's Nico at
get Nico all this stuff
two bags for Nico
here's another bag for Nico
where's Nico at
you gonna come get your stuff Nico
he's coming
there he is.
There's Nico.
All right.
Right on.
One for one.
Congratulations, man.
All right, there you go.
Sweet beer, bro.
Good job, dude.
Get him with a donut.
Appreciate it.
Get one of them donuts.
Hit Nico.
Yeah, go ahead.
One more donut.
Let's do this.
Last donut.
Hit his ass.
Move and target.
Move and target.
Oh, look at that.
Oh.
That was meant for no one
Oh Nico wasn't
He's back in his seat now
Damn
It was like
It was like skeet shooting
Yeah pass it
Pass it to Nico
Like duck hunt
Notice the Russian
Didn't even flinch
No soul
Those Russians
No soul
Where's Nico at?
Where's Nico?
Raise your hand
Alright, this is coming for you, Nico
Ready?
Holy shit
Oh my god
Sorry, lady
Sorry, lady
You got a guy in a dick
Pass it back to Nico
There's more donuts here
No, those are gross
Look at those
Chocomize is six pack
Fascinating podcast listening
Look at donuts
all right let's do some plugs and then we'll get out of here randy thank you so much for
having this festival yes it's dve comedy fest thank you for having me on the podcast stage
as the only show on the podcast
stage. I'm honored. Yeah. The whole stage just for me. And we built it for you. Thank you. Yeah.
And what else you got to plug? Well, you can always listen to the DB morning show here in
Pittsburgh on iHeartRadio. And tonight, of course, this won't apply to anybody who's listening, but
people in the audience, we still have the show with Bill Burr, Billy Gardell, Roy Wood Jr., Jessica Kirsten, and Ian Beck.
There's like two seats left in the huge arena.
Like, it's really very close to sold out.
So grab them if you still want to go and you didn't win tickets tonight.
Hey, is Nico going to go?
Are you going, Nico?
Yeah, for sure.
And you got three friends that are going with you?
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
Yeah.
All right.
You worked it all out already?
How'd you do it?
With knowing glances?
Do you even know those people at your table?
Are they going?
Them shits don't stop up already.
Yeah, right?
Lethal ain't shit.
Sold.
Ian Bagg, what do you got to plug?
What's going on?
My name is Ian Bagg, and you can find me at ianbagg.com.
I-A-N-B-A-G-G.com.
I have a podcast about owning a house.
That's what I have a podcast.
It's called Ian Bagg Bought a House.
And I talk to contractors from all around the world.
And let me make all the mistakes in renovating things for you.
That's what my podcast is.
That sounds very helpful.
Roy Wood Jr.
I'm on the daily show most nights
talking shit.
So again, if that's not your cup of tea.
The Russian hates that.
Comedycentral.com and YouTube for This Is Not Happening,
for which I hosted the last two seasons.
So some good quality comedians telling real stories.
If you're in the podcast,
and I know you'll be into some of these long-form stories
that the comedians do, so check that out.
It's all free.
Oh, really? Yeah, that's It's all free. Oh, really?
Yeah, that's how YouTube is free.
Oh, that's true.
I didn't write anything else
down to talk about that's coming up
for me, so just go to my website
and figure out where
I'm going to be at.
I guess I'll say it again. Dayton on Wednesday.
You guys ever do a show
on the night before
4th of July?
I am, yes.
Yeah, where are you
going to be at?
I'm at the Hermosa Beach
Comedy Match Club.
Oh, well, that's going
to be sweet there.
That's a Hermosa.
That's a tough one.
4th of July
and Super Bowl Sunday.
Those are terrible
performance days.
I like the challenge.
Yeah, you can't do a show
on the 4th,
but even the 3rd, people are getting ready
to go do their weekend, their thing.
It's outside.
Can I mention something to the Russian?
July 4th is the Independence Day.
Where we finally split from Canada.
where we finally split from Canada.
So yeah, come out and see me in Dayton.
And thank you again to this festival,
to the improv,
to all you guys for coming out,
wearing all these crazy costumes,
shirts with words on them.
And one more time for all of my guests,
Randy Bowman, Ian Bagg, Roy Wood Jr. As always, positive energy! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Because Doug loves movies