Doug Loves Movies - Ruben Fleischer and Steve Agee Guest
Episode Date: November 15, 2009Doug welcomes 'Zombieland' director Ruben Fleisher and actor/comedian Steve Agee ('The Sarah Silverman Program') to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Pri...vacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey everybody, I love movies.
It's the name of the podcast that I do not often enough,
according to people that I run into at the comedy clubs.
But, you know, I'm trying to do it more often.
We'll be taping a few more before the end of the year.
And, of course, we're taping one right now.
People make fun of me for're taping one right now. People make fun of me.
People make fun of me for saying taping a podcast.
Like they think that that expression is incorrect.
But that's right.
That's what we're doing in a sense I guess.
We're making a podcast.
Is that a better way to say it?
Sounds like we're shitting.
We're going to drop a podcast out of our butts.
I hope you enjoy it.
It's free on iTunes.
We're coming to you from just before comedy,
Death Ray at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles.
Normally I like to do a joke right here in this part,
but I don't really have one.
Does anybody in the audience have one? no so here's this is lazy i know but there's this is a a tweet that i wrote earlier
today on twitter so maybe you haven't maybe you didn't read it uh or maybe you'll just enjoy what
it sounds like coming out of my mouth um uh how come nobody's made like a porn
With a bunch of celebrity lookalikes having sex
And called it doppelgang bang
Why hasn't anyone done that?
Somebody can make a lot of money off of that
So congratulations and good luck
Let's bring to the stage
My guest for this evening
I always try to bring in
The most fun and exciting
People that will say yes
To do this podcast
One of my guests today
Makes me feel like this is a
Real show
And I'm very excited about that guy
And then the other guest
Is you know he's alright
He's a friend of mine please
welcome the director of zombie land and a zombie uh i don't know why i'm calling him a zombie he's
just he's just a big weird dude ruben fleischer and steve agee are here, everybody. Let's hear it for them. Come on out, fellas.
You can sit over there if you like.
You can take the microphones out of the stands if that's more comfortable
or if you like leaning into the weirdness of it.
That's Steve Agee's voice, everybody.
The big zombie Steve Agee.
Of course, people know you from the Sarah Silverman program
where you play that other gay guy.
The other one.
Not Brian Fosain.
Brian Fosain, yes.
But he's got such a hard name to say and remember that you probably both get.
You're the other gay guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
I was in Starbucks once and there were people behind me and one of them was on their cell phone talking as loud as I'm talking right now,
and she's like,
yeah, the guy from Sarah Silverman is in front of me.
No, the other one.
No, no, no, the other one.
No, the other other one.
No, not with the mustache, with the hole.
Yeah.
That's cool.
It happens.
What are you going to do?
Nothing.
I don't care. I i mean i don't care
yeah but it is much but but have you ever been near people talking about the sarah silverman
program that have no idea that you're standing right there like normally when you hear the word
sarah silverman it means people are talking about that they're recognizing that you're that guy
yeah if you hear it when you're right there.
As when you're walking by, if you hear it.
It's over, man.
You just assume.
But it would be funny if you turned on them and were like, what about her?
Yeah, what the fuck?
Oh, we're just talking about how we enjoy our work.
Who are you?
You know, that kind of thing.
I should have turned around.
I'm not the other one.
I have a fucking name.
He's the other one.
Yeah, he's the other one.
Then you just got to start talking to that lady more, though, once you do that.
Yeah.
Then you have to go down that hideous road.
And I'm glad we all called to coordinate our outfits tonight, by the way.
Well, the best podcasts that I listen to anyway are the ones where everyone's dressed similarly.
Yeah.
And unfortunately, we all had our blue hoodies ready to go.
The UCB podcasters.
So, Ruben, this is exciting.
I don't normally have actual filmmakers on the show.
I'm not usually on shows, so this is exciting for me.
Oh, that's perfect.
It's a two-way.
And what should I ask you first?
Zombieland, was it always Twinkies
from the beginning to execution?
Because you know in E.T.
it ends up being Reese's Pieces in the movie
but in the original script it was Rat Turds.
Yeah, same thing.
I know a lot of great facts about E.T.
Also, did you know that to get Drew Barrymore
to laugh in the kitchen scene,
Drew Barrymore just during the take reached under the table and tickled her vagina? Did you know that to get Drew Barrymore to laugh in the kitchen scene, Drew Barrymore, like, just during the take, reached under the table and tickled her vagina?
Did you know that?
Are you serious, Sue?
That's the true, yeah, that's true.
He was trying to, he meant to tickle her feet, but he missed.
Oh, shit, that's fucking crazy.
So, I shouldn't be saying such horrible things about Mr. Spielberg because he's probably giving you a call, right?
I met him the other day, actually.
Bam! I knew it!
I knew it. You're in the inner circle.
Can't believe you're here.
I've seen the movie, but I've heard a lot of good things.
He hadn't seen the movie?
No, he hadn't seen it.
But he wanted to meet with you.
I want to meet with people that maybe did something.
No, I met with somebody else, but he just wanted to say hello.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, yeah.
I want to come by and say I haven't seen your movie, but...
I hear it's great. I hear it's fantastic. I, that's nice. Yeah, yeah. I want to come by and say I haven't seen your movie, but I hear it's fantastic.
I hear it's really good.
He said that to the lady
who directed The Proposal
when she came by.
I don't know.
That's a weird example.
But,
because I just saw it on a plane
and it's directed by some lady
I'd never heard of before.
Ann Fletcher?
Did she do anything else?
I don't even know that name.
She burst into,
onto the public scene
with The Proposal. Which wasn't bad on a plane, The Proposal. Did she do anything else? I don't even know that name. She burst onto the public scene with the proposal.
Which wasn't bad on a plane, the proposal.
Who's in that?
I've been saying that on every podcast lately.
Whatever shit movie I just saw.
Not bad on a plane.
You're getting old.
Now, Zombieland's not going to be on planes.
Unless it's like a special...
I would hope it's on planes.
...unit at your seat.
Well, they're not going to just show it on the regular.
Because of that horrible plane crash scene.
There's too much stuff they'd have to trim out, I think.
No, I think they'll probably put it on planes.
I hope they do, at least.
We'll see.
Look at you.
Yeah.
Very optimistic.
As far as answering your original question as to the Twinkies of it all, we were worried
that it would have to be like Little Debbie's or something else that hostess would shut us down.
Yeah, and we were prepared for that.
Or a made-up snack.
Fake snack.
That's always the worst.
But it was Twinkies from the beginning and Twinkies till the end.
Thank God it remained Twinkies.
And did you ever get high with Woody Harrelson?
I had a lot of opportunities to get high with Woody Harrelson.
Well, that's all I really wanted to know.
I don't need to know whether you actually did.
How about Abigail Breslin?
Was she choking up a lot?
She got high all the time.
Oh, my God.
Are you guys serious?
Yeah.
I'm outing all the big stoners.
Fuck, man.
All the big stoners in Hollywood, I've got a list.
Abigail Breslin, Dakota Fanning
Lip Nikki
It took me a while to
You could probably go around convincing people
You're Jonathan Lip Nikki
Just be like
Hey you might know me from when I was a kid actor
I'm Jonathan Lip Nikki
Human head weighs 10 pounds
Jerry Maguire.
Wait, was that Jonathan Lipnicki?
What the fuck was Jonathan?
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So let me just ask the audience a quick question.
How on board are you with me discussing a Zombieland plot twist?
Like, have you all seen it?
Spoilers.
Or would some of you be all mad about it?
You'd be mad about it?
See, like, that's the thing now.
People will wait for DVD or whatever
and still not want the plot ruined.
And it's like, come on.
Like, Leonard Maltin himself,
let me just quote from him,
so that we can,
he's a professional critic,
and now there's a Leonard Maltin app
on the iPhone now.
Yeah, so I don't have to carry that book around anymore.
I can just fucking jump on the app and see what's what,
and he puts it under current picks.
He's got Zombieland,
and then it's just got like a typical Leonard Maltin-sized review,
and he says, he's naming off the cast, you know,
that says they're all good or whatever.
And then he goes, in an amusing cameo, so-and-so,
that's what I want to reveal.
And then he says, oh, he doesn't say anything more about that,
but he gives away the surprise cameo in the middle of the movie.
How do you feel about it, Ruben?
Originally, I was really mad about it.
Like, a lot of reviews included the name of the cameo. And I I was really mad about it. A lot of reviews included
the name of the cameo.
I thought they were spoiling it for people, but
I felt like after two weeks or something, it doesn't
really matter anymore because it's out there
pretty broadly. Two weeks, you guys.
That's the official Ruben Fleischer
cutoff. If you haven't seen
Zombieland in two weeks, then you
deserve to know
that Bill Murray oh my god
i got it real quick it is a great twist in the movie before we get it i know i'm gonna throw
i just like laid the bomb and now i'm gonna just backtrack a bit yeah but uh but i went um and did
a q a at leonard malton's film school class at USC. Yeah. And this
is what he said after the movie. He said, well, the audience
really seemed to like it.
Nice. He is kind
of backhanded compliment through this whole review.
He's like, my
favorite part is when he says,
it's not bad.
Like, you know, you might as well have just written
shrug.
What did you think of the movie?
You know.
It happened.
I watched it.
Yeah.
No, but he's a little nicer than that.
He goes, as escapism goes these days, it's not bad.
Like, he says it was a fun movie.
It was fucking awesome, Ruben.
Well, that's what...
See, he doesn't say that enough.
Maltin should just come right out.
When something's fucking awesome,
just say, it is fucking awesome.
I give it, on a scale of one to four,
I give it fucking awesome.
That's what he should do.
But we'll go back to the Leonard Maltin a little later.
But he lists one, two, three, four, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 names he lists
at the bottom as cast,
which is pretty funny
right there because it's essentially
four characters in the movie and then a
surprise appearance or two.
I don't think I could name all nine people.
The very last name. The last name is Derek
Graff. Do you know what he played? He was the clown.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The clown got like special
compensation for some reason did he did you have to do like an extra search for the to cast he's
like this uh he's from la he was actually he was a lineman for usc and his dad is a huge stunt
coordinator who does like all the football movies oh okay derrick's just we just want a really really
big guy and derrick was like 6'8",
I don't know, 300 pounds or something.
Okay, that's a good thing you said 6'8".
Because he comes in at Demir 6'5", 7', what, 7", really?
Yeah, I see you were one inch away from...
Derek Graff.
Playing a great role in getting on Leonard Maltin.
Fuck him, man.
That guy.
And then the next name they list is Mike White.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Who has a cameo in the film as the guy that's not Bill Murray.
But what I want to say about Bill Murray, and I'll try to say it without giving away
what happens with the whole Bill Murray thing, is just how often have people expressed to you that that that that cameo was delightful but then also kind of made
made it made me sad for like the rest of the movie is that true yeah not a lot of people have
expressed that okay good okay so most people get over it yeah but you were really bummed that he
i was really like happened i didn't think the other i didn't think some of the characters
reacted as strongly as they should have. That's interesting. We were actually really concerned about that.
But my whole argument was if we just make it a joke and have it be really quick and have it be light,
that there wouldn't be repercussions and it would just be this surreal kind of interlude.
But you're apparently very sensitive when it comes to Bill Murray.
Well, I think I'm as into Bill Murray as Woody Harrelson's character was.
Right.
I mean, if I was going through Beverly Hills and wanted to pick a house to go check out,
that would certainly be, it would either be Bill Murray or Screech, Dustin Diamond's house.
Fuck.
Yes, please do tell us.
Because it's kind of interesting how he ended up being in the movie.
And it was originally written for Swayze.
And that was like five years ago.
The rapper Swayze?
Swayze, yeah.
Like five years ago.
Or do we just say Swayze now that Patrick Swayze has left us?
It's just like, you know, it was Swayze.
He was going to do it, but then...
Well, he wasn't necessarily going to do it, but it was scripted for him.
And they had the funniest version where Columbus, Jesse Eisenberg's character,
is going through the mansion.
He finds a pottery wheel.
He goes and sits on the pottery wheel.
But the original version, the celebrity cameo, was like a zombie.
So these two arms kind of come around him and hug him from behind.
He looks over his shoulder, sees zombie Patrick Swayze, freaks out.
And then there's a big, crazy battle with various references to some of the finer works.
And then at the end, Woody's character comes in and says you and me swayze
and then swayze zombie charges woody and leaps at him and then woody catches him in midair
and holds him up like dirty dancing from dirty dancing and then throws him into a wall smashes
his head and says nobody puts baby in a corner and it was like the funniest version ever and when
they originally wrote it we were just like oh it sucks that swayze got patrick pancreatic cancer
because no one we can never do anything better than that it's so funny but it would be in bad
taste to include him as a zombie version of himself given his uh situation i mean yeah Given his situation. Too soon.
You mean it would have been in bad taste to ask him?
Because I think he was pretty... Yeah, he embraced it.
I actually wanted to ask him.
And I thought actually he would be kind of psyched
if his final farewell was like as a zombie version of himself.
But marketing people at the studio didn't see it the same way.
You know that guy's in a coffin somewhere right now trying to scratch his way out.
That guy's a fighter.
Yeah.
So then we wrote versions for lots of other celebrities like Sylvester Stallone and Steven Seagal and various other people.
And they all said no and were unavailable.
And Woody got Matthew McConaughey to agree to do it as like a favor.
But I think when McConaughey agreed to do it, he didn't know what he was agreeing to,
that he was going to play a zombie version of himself.
And when he read the draft and he was like shirtless the whole time and bongos were strewn about
and there was an Airstream trailer in the front yard, he just wasn't on board with it.
And this was like two weeks before we had to shoot and so
we were like really worried about two weeks yeah before we had already got the location and we're
and and i mean it was really hard to get a celebrity to agree to do it in the first place
and so um we were so pleased that we got mcconaughey uh and then uh so he dropped out and then we like
wrote a draft for van damme who passed we wrote a draft for Van Damme, who passed. We wrote a draft for Mark Hamill, who passed.
And we were like, fuck, if we can't get Mark Hamill, like, we're, like, in big trouble here.
Yeah, that guy at least pretends to have a sense of humor about his career.
But, yeah, he didn't want to make fun of the Star Wars stuff or something.
I was like, well, what else is there?
But we, so we actually wrote a draft for bubby and
peepaw this old jewish couple that was like our backup plan if we couldn't get a celebrity
like they go there it's old jewish couple in beverly hills bubby and peepaw we actually
cast two stump people who are like ready to come in be a part of the movie they they flew in from
florida to be we like outfitted them, designed their zombie makeup, everything,
just in case we couldn't get anyone.
So like three or four days before, we actually had a shoot,
which was on the Thursday.
So I think like on a Tuesday, Woody's like –
he was like, I don't know about this Bubby and people.
And we're like, well, we've tried everyone.
Mark Hamill said, no, there's nothing left to do.
And he was like, well, let me make a call.
And so he called Bill Murray like two days before we had a shoot or three days before we had a shoot.
I was like, Bill, you're having a lot of fun down here in Atlanta.
You should come down and be in the movie.
And, like, Bill was, like, 100% on board.
But he was like, if I'm going to come there, like, I need to have some lines.
I'm not just going to be a zombie in a fight. You could get anybody to do that. Like, if I'm gonna come there like i need to have some lines i'm not just gonna be a zombie in a fight you could get anybody to do that like if i'm gonna come i want to have
lines and so we realized like in order to actually uh do that he can't be a zombie and so we figured
out the whole idea of himself playing a zombie and everything else and uh and and and and in the
end um you know he he. In four days.
Two days, really.
It was like, I remember Woody, it was on set when we were shooting the scene on that, like, abandoned highway or whatever, when Woody and Jesse first meet.
And Woody had, like, a Blackberry on speakerphone.
I was like, all right, Bill, we'll see you Thursday.
And he hung up the phone.
We were, like, all cheered.
Like, it was, like, incredible.
Like, I got to hear Bill Murray's voice through the phone.
I was so excited.
And so then he's notoriously unreliable, I guess, or something.
A lot of times he'll say he'll be places and then not.
So we were so anxious.
He still had Chubby and Peepaw come out.
We were ready to go. then on it so then on thursday morning we walk we're gonna come back
so then thursday morning bill murray like walked up on set and it was like the greatest day of my
life i just couldn't believe like it was my life that i was living that like i'm first of all
making a movie uh bill murray like walks on a set and then he was just like the coolest dude you could ever
hope to.
Cause he's never,
he's never made fun of his own previous stuff as,
as extensively as he does in that.
Yeah.
And I kind of think he was like in for a penny in for a pound.
Like if I'm going to do this,
like let's do this.
And so he was like coming up with all the ideas.
Like Emma,
for some reason,
wasn't familiar with the Annie Potts character.
And like Bill was telling her exactly how to like say the lines exactly like Annie Potts.
And like just like really like so invested in it.
I can't believe anybody would let the Annie Potts character slip through their memory of Ghostbusters.
But yeah, so he was just like super on board and really like cool to me.
Like I'd go to give him like, you know, direction or whatever.
And he'd be like, what now?
First timer.
Or like, what do you got, Junior?
Like he just like really was cool and had fun.
But he didn't take advantage of being like the big star coming i mean he is the
big i mean there's no two ways about it but like he had like running jokes with the sound department
like three hours in like he just like he just loves being on set like i he's just the raddest
guy there is like he's he's so cool he and woody he got there thursday 11 o'clock in the morning
shot all day he and woody were out till four o'clock in the morning, shot all day. He and Woody were out until 4 o'clock in the morning that night. He was there at 6, shot through that day, slept at lunch,
then we shot out.
He didn't have to worry about looking good.
Finished the day, and then we stayed at that mansion
and we're drinking margaritas until 2 o'clock in the morning.
He just likes to have fun.
He's really down to party.
Well, that's why on some of those other projects he doesn't show up.
Because he's busy having fun.
That's awesome.
You had the right combination.
The coolest guy in the world.
I mean, it took the movie to a whole different level.
And I feel like it was the luckiest day of my life.
Yeah, I would want to know who Woody was going to call next.
Because he's got a few other names in his Rolodex.
Did he tell you?
Supposedly Dustin Hoffman.
That would have been funny, but not in a way that people would enjoy.
Well, you know what I mean?
It would be hard to get.
Like, Woody's character wouldn't be excited about Dustin Hoffman, etc., etc.
It's like House of Cards would fall apart with Dustin Hoffman.
But the inevitable Rain Man joke.
Well, they beat you to it with the Rain Man humor in, what do you call it, The Hangover.
They had Rain Man parody for who knows why.
What?
It was weird, wasn't it?
Finally, somebody did a Rain Man parody.
All right, so let's see how we're doing on time.
Oh, we're doing pretty good on time.
So really quickly,
your movie's been out for a month now,
and you've seen other movies come out
and go up against it. Have you seen any've seen other movies you know come out and go up against it and uh um what
have you seen any of these other movies of late that you're competing with um not too many i i
like uh the weekend after ours was couples retreat which i didn't i didn't see i i saw where the wild
things are yeah and liked it and uh people seem to fall like i haven't seen it yet but uh i haven't
seemed to fall one way the other on it like they love it or they're just like i was somewhere in the middle i actually to
contradict that i was like it's the most beautiful movie i've ever seen but i wish it was a short
film um short as in because it was boring or or just it's not enough story to tell for that maybe
perhaps yeah but but i love i love the movie at the same time so but uh but i didn't see
paranormal activity or i missed a lot of them but uh i've seen uh this is it are you gonna see this
is it i really wanted to see this is it but i i have not i just think it'll be fun to buy a ticket
to this is it because because you can just be so enthusiastic about it or or you could be like you know this is
it this is it oh that's great one for this is it and then afterwards that was it that was it
yeah go up to the box office that was it banging on the window
they don't give the ticket staff at the movies enough of a hassle when the movie's bad
no you don't ever really go right to them and complain yeah um what about you steve have you
seen any i'm glad you asked i really want i have some great anecdotes from this web series i've
been working on i can't follow zombie land's my favorite film of the year
come on
Ruben and I used to work together
I've known Ruben for a long time
Steve and I worked together on the Jimmy Kimmel show
and I shot him as a big baby
like wearing a bonnet and diapers
and a clown
I have a picture of you
as a clown and you still didn't
cast me as the clown in your fucking movie
you basically had an audition tape for me You were a clown and you still didn't cast me as the clown in your fucking movie.
You basically had an audition tape for me.
Holy shit.
You weren't large and clown-like enough.
That's what he was looking for.
They wanted a stuntman, though.
Yeah, no, that's what I was just about to say.
I got so caught up on the stuntman part of it, I didn't think to call you.
Okay.
Zombieland 2.
Yeah. Because you're kind of the opposite of a stuntman part of it i didn't think to call you but okay yeah zombie land 2 yeah because you're
the because you're kind of the opposite of a stuntman i am the opposite of a yeah i saw you
one day you had to like kneel on one knee for more than a minute and you lost your mind i was once
shooting a short film with some friends who were all stuntmen and i had to do this thing where i i
faked like i was jumping out of a moving car so So we shot me about to jump out of the car,
and then we did a cutaway of me hitting the ground and rolling.
And when I did the part where I just gently fall to the ground and roll,
I broke a rib.
Fucking broke a rib, basically laying down on the cement.
Oh, this...
So I'm the opposite of a stuntman.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
How do you think Jesse Eisenberg is going to finish off the amusement park trilogy?
Because it would be so great if he made a third movie.
One was a coming-age drama, one was a zombie movie.
Now, like, if he could find a third reason to be in an amusement park for an entire film.
Amusement park in space?
Yeah.
All right.
That sounds good.
What do you, do you have, so you must have, like, you must be looking at scripts and trying to decide what you're going to make next?
Yeah.
So you don't have anything specific you can share with us?
I wish, but not yet.
Well, no news is good news.
Yeah.
It really keeps these podcasts interesting.
People say, I don't know, that you don't have another project lined up is good news, apparently.
Congratulations.
No, there's a couple of things that I'm working on but I don't think nothing real but I saw 2012 that
was one thing that I got to see and I it blew my mind I mean again it's a little
too long but but it's like you got your had to see no it's awesome it's awesome
like it's so already no it's incredible it's it's awesome. It's awesome. It's so outrageous. No, it's incredible.
It's really good. You're on the
edge of your seat the whole time and like,
what are they going to blow up next? He outruns
an earthquake. I know.
I've seen that. He outruns a volcano.
How do you outrun an earthquake?
He outruns so many natural disasters.
He jumps into the air and covers.
Flaps his arms.
It's really good, though.
I promise you.
They don't say that enough for earthquake preparedness.
Why not just jump up and grab a tree branch?
And just hang there until it's over.
Or just drive as fast as you can.
How can the ground hurt you if you're not on it?
So what about...
Like, my problem with that movie not having seen it
and only having seen the trailer
is that I don't like when the whole world is falling apart,
and yet they think we only care about this one...
What was the last one called?
But it's John Cusack.
Yeah, but it is John Cusack.
That's the trick.
When it was...
What's his name?
Jake Gyllenhaal.
When it was Gyllenhaal, I could give a shit about him and that frozen library he was in,
or whatever the hell was going on.
The rest of the world was going on like the rest of
the world was dying you know so it's kind of a perspective thing but you're saying this one is
so spectacular yeah no this is that people aren't really the part that you care about it's like i
want to see that thing fall again like or the the ground open up like it's really just the the
effects are beyond anything you've ever seen before and And if you see a big theater and it's really loud, it's pretty overwhelming.
But does an amusement park ride ever smash into somebody and throw them through the air?
I can't say that that happens.
Say, I'm going to see Zombieland again.
You know what I'm going to do?
I'll buy a ticket to Zombieland and sneak into 2012.
There you go.
Yeah, let's all do that.
Can I brag?
Yeah, please.
Zombieland's the highest grossing zombie movie of all time.
Booyah!
You did it.
Yeah.
And that's if you don't include I Am Legend.
And that's probably by 20 or 30 million, right?
Maybe.
You beat it by a large margin.
No, I don't know.
Dawn of the Dead, I think, was 59.
The remake was 59?
Yeah, I think we're at 73 or 74.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying
When it's all said and done
You'll make it 20 million
They did have that scene
Where they all dance like Thriller
Yeah
So it is kind of a zombie movie
I like when Steve's looks
Is getting laughs from the audience
That's always fun for the podcast listeners.
So I was talking to these guys backstage about the Leonard Maltin game,
and they're both afraid of it.
Steve has played it before.
I've played it, and I was horrible.
You didn't do too well.
Who'd you hurry up against?
Dana.
Oh, Dana Gould.
Oh, yeah.
Dana Gould.
He got one right just based on the clue.
He said no names. And it was political Dana Gould, he got one right just based on the clue. Yeah.
Like he said no names.
And it was political movies.
And then he got it right.
Yeah, and it was political movies.
And then he said political movies and they knew the movie?
Yeah.
All the games.
Well, there was a little bit more of a clue than that.
The clue was I said this is supposed to be a comedy or this was billed as a comedy.
That was the clue.
And Dana and I, our sensibilities are close enough, I think,
that it just immediately jumped into his head.
Oh, yeah, Dave.
Dave, yeah.
Yeah, that Kevin Kline movie.
It's a good movie, but it's not funny.
You know, it's not like you're slapping your knees ever.
I think both Steve and I are going to be embarrassed I think is what's going to happen
I'm already embarrassed
I just broke a rib saying that
Not to put any extra pressure on you guys
But tonight I'd like to do something different
There's a benefit coming up here in Los Angeles
On Friday, November the 20th
That if you can go
I encourage
anyone listening to this podcast to buy
tickets. It's a benefit
called Laughs for Bald Brian.
And I don't know if you guys listened to the Adam
Krola show when he was on the air, but this guy Bald
Brian was on there, and he has like his
sidekick, and he did all the sound effects and
stuff. And I went on
the show a few times when they
were both there and played a game called
tevo trivia and brian was really good at it and so it's fun to go on and try and uh beat him at
that game but he that gentleman is going through a uh cancer uh situation bald bald brian it's it's
weird to me to keep calling him bald b and then saying and he has cancer. But
he does. So
they're trying to raise money for
his, you know, he's doing well
and it looks like he could get
through this thing. So it's at the
Wilshire Ebell Theater in Los Angeles
7 o'clock Friday, November 20th.
Adam Carolla, Jimmy Kimmel,
Dr. Drew Pinsky.
I don't know what his act is going to be like
Just go up on stage and go
Any sex addicts in the audience?
And then
Which that show is amazing
This sex rehab thing, I can't get enough of it
But then Greg Fitzsimmons, Dana Gould
The aforementioned
Larry Miller, Joel McHale from The Soup
All of those people and then probably more
Are going to be performing in one show,
and you can get tickets by going to LaughsForBaldBrian.com.
Brian's spelled with a Y.
LaughsForBaldBrian.com.
You can get tickets.
But I thought for the Leonard Maltin game tonight,
it would be fun to give away a couple of tickets.
So keeping in mind it's November 20th and all those names that I just said,
raise your hand
if you can go and would want to win two tickets okay that gentleman right there and that dude
right there the two of you come up come sit up here let's get you uh i taped these two seats
off good they taped those off yeah thank god we think you taped thank god we saved these seats
close call for you two guys so So come on up here. Welcome.
We've got,
we're doing good on time.
Hello, sir.
What's your name?
Ian.
Ian, all right.
And what's your name?
David.
David.
All right.
And Ian,
between possibly one of the greatest
filmmakers of our time
and a guy who
breaks his ribs
laying down.
Who wasn't fat and ugly enough
to play a dead clown
well that sounds good
who do you want
I like not being fat enough
to play a clown
who do you want
yeah that was a compliment
who do you want
to represent you
in the Leonard Maltin game tonight
I'll go with Ruben
that's a mistake
alright he's going with Ruben
I'll prove you wrong Anybody
But as has been proven
In the past by this game
Anybody can win
Especially when both people
Are bad at it
Okay and then
Who would you like to play for you
You
Oh
Son of a bitch
He wants me to play for him
Steve you're out
I'm gonna throw the game
I'm throwing the game
I'm gonna do pretty good
Cause I picked all the movies
Buzz in right away
I can name it no names.
All right.
So Ian is Ruben's.
Ruben's playing for Ian.
And what's your name again?
David.
David.
And Steve is playing for David.
All right.
And I have it right here on my iPhone app.
So now I don't even have to flip through that stupid book anymore.
I mean, it was a good book, but an app is perfect for my needs.
I made a list.
These are all movies that have dead people in them.
A character dies or a character is dead.
Or an actor is dead.
No?
No.
Okay.
There's no Patrick Swayze movies.
I thought about that, though, like doing Roadhouse or something.
But, no, I don't want to trick you guys like that.
These are all movies where a character in the movie is a dead person.
Oh, boy.
And none of them are zombie films, but they're inspired by.
Oh, I get it.
You get it now.
Yeah.
Like, would Stand By Me be one?
Like, because the dead brother or something like that.
Yeah, that could be one.
Okay.
It's not.
All right.
Thank God.
What if he just won the whole game with pre-guesses?
I'm just trying to...
This rattles off a few movies.
Could it be Ghost?
Yes.
Okay.
That's one.
Oh, Ghost.
Okay, Ghost.
I get it now.
All right.
So let's start with Ruben.
This movie came out in 1999, and Leonard Maltin gave it three and a half stars.
Out of?
Four.
Okay.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know how many.
It's a good one.
And he says it's exceptional and original.
That'll be your clue.
It's exceptional and original. From 1999. Features a dead person.
And you've got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten names to choose from. So you can start the bidding at ten names or you can go lower if you want.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Ruben Fleischer.
I'll try six names.
He can do it in six names.
Steve Agee, co-star of the Sarasota program.
I can do it in five.
He can do it in five. I think I know, co-star of the Sarasota program. I can do it in five. He can do it in five.
I think I know what this movie is, though.
You think you do?
I guess I'll say four.
You could leap all the way to zero if you think you know.
Name that movie.
Oh, you're giving him four names.
I'm going to name it in four.
All right, here we go.
Ian's excited.
I'm so excited.
Oh, my God.
Sam Robards, Scott Bakula, Allison Janney, Peter Gallagher.
Sam Robards, Scott Bakula, Allison Janney, Peter Gallagher.
I can only think of one movie that has those four people in it.
You thought you knew it from the clue?
I thought it was The Sixth Sense, but just off the 99 of it all.
Exceptional and original?
Yeah, I could give that.
I'd give that to Sixth Sense over this movie. One more time on the names.
I apologize.
This would be redundant, but what are the names again?
Sam Robards.
You were just hoping to hear... Bruce Willis. Yeah, that's all I... No, but he's the names again? Sam Robart. You were just hoping to hear...
Bruce Willis.
Yeah, that's all I...
No, but he's the lead, so you wouldn't hear that.
It's the worst names.
Not the worst names.
Got it.
The lesser names.
The scumbags.
Peter Gallagher.
The dregs.
The lowly Sam Robarts.
I think I know who it is.
The miscreant Scott Bakula.
The disgusting Allison Janney.
The horrifying pervert Peter Gallagher.
I don't know the answer to this question.
You don't know the answer to that.
Steve, can you steal it?
Should I just say it if I think I know it?
You win the point either way.
Oh, is it why you were sleeping?
No, it isn't.
Exceptional and original.
That is exceptional And Peter Gallagher was like
Higher build in that movie
Was he?
Yeah
Fuck it
Well we still get the point though
You get the point
How are we playing to?
Best two out of three
Oh okay
You gotta bring it on this next one
I'm trying
The other names
You know it shout it out
But just to finish off this team, this is a team effort
No, you can't do that
You sit there quietly, Ian and David
The other names were
Chris Cooper, Mina Suvari
Wes Bentley, Thora Birch, Annette Bening
Oh, American Beauty
Oh, now he knows it
Who died in there?
People always say it like oh yes
Kevin Spacey
But Kevin Spacey's dead from the beginning
Yeah he narrates the whole thing from the
The old grave
Which did you
Did it ever bother you that you were saying at the beginning of Zombieland
That Jesse lives long enough to tell this whole story
That was a conversation
I bet it was
Everything's a conversation, right?
Okay, here we go.
Let me delete that.
Goodbye, American Beauty.
Fucking overrated piece of shit.
No, it's good.
Go back and watch it.
You'll love it.
Okay, here we go.
I do love the pot smoking scenes
in that movie.
Like when he's smoking
with Wes Bentley.
No, not that. I not that You love lifting weights
When he first meets him and they're smoking out
At that party
That's cool
They're talking about Re-Animator
Alright this is from
What year is this from
This is from 1991
And
A character in it is dead,
and this is another great Leonard Maltinism.
He says,
it's hard to dislike.
Yeah, go in there and fight it.
Try.
Try to hate this movie.
And I said it's from 1991,
and it's on you.
You started off the bidding.
How many names?
Oh, yeah.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
Nine names.
Five.
So that's five for the bottom.
Ten names, actually.
Ten names.
I'll stay with five.
I will say this is yours to win.
Oh, shit, Steve.
Okay, you get five names from this movie from 1991.
I've never seen a movie before 1992.
I just want to preface that.
Thank God for cable and DVD.
Yep.
You could have caught up with it.
Ethan Embry.
Okay.
Believe it or not, is in this movie.
I cannot remember him being in this movie.
I've seen this movie several times, and I can't remember him being in it.
So I'm going to have to double check that.
Peter Shuck. I don't know who that is.
Lillian Lehman. No idea.
Fuck. I'm sorry.
George D. Wallace
was in this. I don't think that's
the black comedian George Wallace.
I think that's some other guy that got stuck
People are stupid. People say
stupid things.
That's it.
10 o'clock every night at the Flamingo in Vegas.
But you know what I got to say about him, that George Wallace?
He was nice to my parents once, so they love him.
They're like, always, how's your friend George Wallace?
I don't know the man.
Your friend?
I don't know the man.
We were on a show once together, and then he said hi to you.
Okay, here we go.
Buck Henry is the fifth name.
Buck Henry from 1991.
And what's his name?
Yeah, it's got a dead person in it.
And hard to dislike.
Is there anything you saw with Buck Henry in it that was hard to dislike?
Not that I can remember.
I'll just take a guess because it has a dead person.
Weekend at Bernie's 2?
Why would...
I know Buck Henry's
been in some shitty movies.
But why would he be in Weekend at Bernie's 2?
Well, it's a small part. It's number
five. Now, was Bernie dead?
I get confused about that. I think he was
passed out. Or is he dead?
No, he's dead, dude. He's flat out dead?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to say the player.
Oh, the player.
That's a good guess.
Who's dead in the player?
The writer.
There's a murder in it.
Right.
Partway through.
Right.
So, good guess.
But wrong.
Okay.
Let me read the rest of the names so that anybody else can get excited about it.
So, it's one-to-one.
It's tied up, David and I.
This is exciting.
Lee Grant, Rip Torn, Meryl Streep, Albert Brooks.
Defending Your Life.
The Great Defending Your Life.
Defending Your Life.
Fuck.
Which Len Walton only gives three stars.
I don't remember about that.
And it says hard to dislike.
Like they really strong-armed him into enjoying himself.
God damn it.
I was really trying to just sit there and not be happy.
It's so hard.
It's like it's older than 91, doesn't it?
It's so hard.
91 is a pretty long time ago.
I guess.
Right?
I guess I'm just old.
18, 19 years?
Okay.
Next up.
This is going to be the tiebreaker.
I've got to pick a good one.
All right. So we're going to start with Ruben.
This is from the year 2008.
Yeah, this is current shit, y'all.
Final destination.
And then what else can I tell you about it?
It's got a dead person in it.
And he calls it funny and heartfelt.
Yeah.
How many names?
There were no heartfelt movies in 2008.
Nine names, starting with Ruben Fleischer.
I'll go with nine.
He's taken all nine names.
Well, then I'll just take eight.
Eight names
Because I feel like this is really
Between the two of us
It's like who just wants to lose
Whoever's stuck having to guess
Is going to lose probably
That's what's going to happen
So at what point is our pride
What did you say?
Eight, seven
He said the full eight
You're going to take
Eight out of nine
You're going to take seven out of nine
Steve Do you want to take six out of nine. You're going to take seven out of nine.
Steve, do you want to take six out of nine?
I'll take six.
Which was a character on a Star Trek show, right?
I have such a lack of confidence in my ability to win this game. I honestly think you could win.
Sorry, David.
I think that you could win by making him guess with six names.
That's what I'm thinking, too. Really?
I have a good feeling
he's not going to come up with it.
Well, I hate to play this
kind of way. I also didn't see any movies after 2007.
Very small window.
All right. I apologize. I wish I was
better at this one. Steve, please
steal this victory.
Six? You're going to name it in six?
It was last year. Okay. Here we go.
Brian Darcy James. Okay.
Played Shrek on Broadway.
A big, giant, ugly part you didn't get.
He knows it. Your partner, I mean,
Ruben's partner knows it.
He knows it already.
I wish I had done it now.
Alan Ruck. Of course, was Ferris Bueller.
Asif Mandvi.
Oh, man, this is not looking good.
No, you know Asif.
Alan Ruck is all I have to go on right now.
Dana Ivey.
She's always like a thin, mean lady and everything.
She's always mean about everything.in mean lady And everything She's always like Mean about everything
She's like
Works at banks
All the time
And then
Kristen Wiig
Was in this movie
Kristen Wiig
Those are the five names
I said six
The next
Oh you did
Yeah
Okay Billy Campbell
That didn't help did it
No
You couldn't have
Gone out with some dignity
You had to beg
For one more name
I think you're my nose The last three names Are really the ones That would You couldn't have gone out with some dignity. You had to beg for one more name.
I think you're my nose.
The last three names are really the ones that would put you over the top.
Kristen Wiig.
I'm afraid.
I can only think of... Nicely played, Fleischer.
Well, it's not done yet.
Steve could come through with the buzzer beater.
I can only think of one Kristen Wiig movie from last year.
Well, then say it.
Adventureland.
No. Ghosttown. Ghosttown. Well, then say it. Adventureland. No.
Ghost Town.
Ghost Town.
Yeah, it's Ghost Town.
The last three names are Greg Kinnear, Tia Leone, and Ricky Gervais.
Wow, it would have taken Ricky Gervais.
That movie should have done better at the box office, I think.
I like that movie.
It would have taken all night.
And even then.
Leonard says they don't make them like this anymore.
He's full of these fucking expressions that are just like, what are you saying?
Is that good or bad that they don't
make those anymore?
Did they stop because it sucked?
Or does modern filmmaking suck?
Make up your mind.
Thank you so much for playing the game,
gentlemen.
Our winner is
Ira Ian.
And our runner-up, though,
gets an exciting runner-up prize.
David, you get to decide
who I'm going to call a shithead
at the end of tonight's podcast.
Oh, man.
What the...
But it could be people in the audience, too.
It could be anybody.
Ricky Gervais, really?
Okay, he wants me to call Ricky Gervais a shithead.
I like that.
I don't agree.
I don't agree that he's a shithead,
but I will do it.
Thanks again to my guests, Ruben Fleischer and Steve Agee.
Thank you very much for having me.
Long time friends.
Thank you.
Zombieland.
Go see it.
Go see Zombieland.
Now that we've ruined it for you.
Hopefully we didn't ruin it for you.
Give away the cameo.
Do you have anything you want to plug, Steve?
You got any personal appearances coming up?
How come you're not in the...
Season three starting February of 2010.
February 2010, season 3
Sarah Silverman program.
And you'll be in the audience at the
laughsforbaldbryan.com.
And my plugs are Benson Interruptions
coming up on Monday, November 16th
in Los Angeles at Largo. You can also see me
at Hyenas in Dallas, November 19-21.
Yeah, Hyenas.
Totally classy name.
Then I'll be at the West Palm
Beach Improv, November 27-29
and a place called 88 Broadway,
which I don't believe exists,
in Urbana, Illinois, on
December 5th.
Thanks a lot for coming and listening, you guys.
Thank you!
Ricky Gervais is a shithead!
Shithead shithead