Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine, Bri Pruett and Dan Van Kirk guest
Episode Date: June 14, 2021Live from The Improv in Brea, Doug welcomes Samm Levine, Bri Pruett and Dan Van Kirk to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of ...Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
That was pretty fucking good after a year.
I thought, are they going to screw that up?
Do they still have their
yelling out, this is Doug
Loves Movies game on?
And the answer is yes.
Very strong. I brought
lots of stuff to give away tonight.
Including
lots of
OCB bleached and unbleached
cones.
And yeah, I've got a lot of them.
So I'll be like just chucking them out to the crowd throughout the show.
And then I've also got this big crate full of stuff.
Yeah, Jesus is right.
I've been getting a lot of free shit over the last year.
And looking like a hoarder.
And this is finally my chance to unload some stuff.
It's Wednesday, June 9th, 2021.
We're at the Improv in Brea, California.
In front of a limited capacity, distance, kind of, hopefully vaxxed
crowd and I'm happy
to say for the first
time in over a year
Doug plugs
I've got stuff to plug
while Doug loves
movies and slowly getting back out on the road
you will continue to get weekly
episodes via Zoom
the way we've been doing them, but we will also
start adding in audience shows like this
one. And the next one is
going to be July 31st
at the American Comedy Company
in Sweet Home San Diego.
All of my
dates and deets as they trickle in
can be found at
DougLovesMovies.com
That's DougLovesMovies.com That's DougLovesMovies.com
Yeah!
What?
What?
Shh.
That was amazing.
And even a don't say butt fuck at the end.
That might not have made it on the recording.
But it got in there anyway.
Got into my head anyway.
Here's the prize crate.
It is a box that was sent to me.
Where is the label?
There's a TV show called Rebel that lasted a few weeks.
It's already not a show.
It's already canceled.
But here's a lovely crate that says Rebel on it.
And then a big old bottle
of Uncle Nearest 1884
small batch whiskey.
A puzzle that's got
a young Arden Meereen on it
and her cats.
A book about, yeah, what indeed?
A book about whales
that I got from National Geographic,
and from OCB Rolling Papers, your own mask, because it's about time you have one,
if you haven't purchased one or been given one.
And then this fun clock from Platinum Vape, it's 420 all the time on this clock.
So that's pretty fun.
And then a really nice, this is a super crazy soft blanket.
Here, touch this blanket, lady.
Isn't that crazy?
So soft.
I got that when I went to the drive-in premiere of One Night in Miami.
I also brought some Doug Benson
rockin' pins.
And this is the best thing
in this particular prize box.
It's fuckin' Benny
from Benny Loves You.
How you doin', Benny?
He's not very bright.
And he has a knife.
So we'll check in with him later in the show.
And, oh, Benny!
And I also brought the original box for people that are into that sort of thing.
The winner.
This is definitely a, what do you call it, a collectible.
Very precious prize.
Very precious prize. I think I broke him.
Now he won't talk.
So broken Benny doll.
Doesn't speak anymore.
It's gonna be somebody.
Somebody in the audience tonight. What happened with the name tags?
Did people bring them?
Oh, goody.
Very nice.
Well, here's how it works now.
We're going to go contactless.
So we'll look at your name tags.
We'll appreciate them from afar.
And my guests will pick who they're playing for.
You don't have to bring it up or hand it to them or anything.
But also everybody else is eligible as well
because everybody can't make a name tag
and I want everybody to have a chance.
So my guests can pick anybody they want.
So just raise your hand if you want to be picked
and it's up to them.
Don't complain to me if they don't pick you
because I'm leaving that entirely in their hands.
Let's bring them out here. What do you say?
Had to invite the best for this historic show.
I leaked their names on Twitter, so some of you may be aware already,
but either way, it's still very exciting to have them here all at the same time.
Please welcome Brie Pruitt, Dan Van Kirk, and Sam, the man, Levine, a.k.a. you know all the a.k.a.'s that go with Sam Levine.
This is so exciting.
Let's talk to them individually and alphabetically.
They didn't sit down alphabetically, but we'll work around that.
We'll make it work.
Brie Pruitt is here, everybody.
Wow.
Hi, Brie.
Hi.
I'm so turned on that everyone can see my mouth.
Yeah, take a good look at that mouth, you guys.
Look at it.
Civilized society hasn't seen that mouth for a while.
Nobody's seen that.
I'm going to go through all kinds of figurations.
You'll have your chance.
What about this one?
It's for everybody.
I mean, you know, that's the great thing about podcasts.
Yeah, right, good point.
Because people love listening to people making faces.
It's really great.
That's the other thing I'm going to do from now on
is if a donut throwing thing breaks out during the show,
which, you know, could still happen,
I'm just going to go to commercial
so that people at home don't have to sit through that part.
Because it's only fun in the room, you know.
It's a lot less fun to listen to donut throwing.
I've learned a lot over the pandemic, you guys.
I've really taken stock in this show and I've really changed it a lot.
You'll be very excited.
There's going to be a dramatic reading.
Welcome to Doug Vale. It's now a show that's an ongoing radio drama.
No, no thank you.
But he seems into it.
It's little Logan himself. It's Sam Levine, everybody!
Hello. Thank you, Doug.
Hello, everyone. It's so nice to see all of you again.
Everybody looks exactly as I remember them.
Yeah, they really haven't aged.
Everybody's looking really good and happy, and that's what matters.
I agree.
Yeah, thank you for being here, Sam.
Oh, my absolute pleasure.
What's, uh,
what's going on with that, uh, thing you go to every year in Kansas city? Uh, this is the second
year in a row. Sadly, we had to do it virtually, uh, but we are still raising money. It's called
big slick Kansas city. Um, and it benefits children's mercy hospital of Kansas city,
which treats pediatric cancer free of charge. Uh, so it is a worthwhile organization to say the least.
There's actually a big online
virtual show this
Saturday, the 12th
of June. So go to
bigslickkc.org
if you want to watch the show and
donate.
That's great. It started
because, you know, Sam's been involved
in it for forever, but it started because you know Sam's been involved in it for forever
but it started
because five dudes
from
from Kansas City
decided
to do this benefit
yes
and use their fame
and they are
they are
Paul Rudd
Paul Rudd
Rob Riggle
Eric Stonestreet
uh
Ted Lasso
Jason Sudeikis
Ted Lasso
and uh
David Koechner
yeah
all five Kansas City boys
champ kind
yeah and they do this thing every year
and lots of other celebrities get involved like Sam
and our friend Seth Herzog is always involved
and it's a great
cause and a great thing
I'll get back to Kansas City as soon as I can
but
also joining us today
is a man with a tour
that he's about to,
I don't know how much he can say tonight.
It's Dan Van Kirk, everybody.
How are you guys doing?
Are you doing good?
Hi, buddy.
Tell us about this tour.
You're getting out there and doing shows.
I announced it today.
More cities are going to be announced,
but I announced 38 cities today.
It starts in Chicago on August 11th,
and it pretty much goes everywhere
until November 19th,
where it ends in Rochelle, Illinois, my hometown.
So, yeah, everything's up at danielvancurk.com,
and I hope people want to hang out this summer, fall
Because I want to hang out with them
I didn't even know there were 38 total cities in this country
Dude, there's more
Wow
Yes
There's like 11 more
Wow
Yeah
Hey, look at a map
Are you going to go to Fargo?
No, should I?
I just thought it would be fun to guess cities.
Have you played Fargo?
No, I asked because there's an offer to play Fargo.
Should I go to Fargo?
Yes.
I'll go with you.
Yeah, four of you think so.
Those are the numbers I was looking for.
I'd say four people in Brea cheering for Fargo is a pretty good average.
I was thinking about only playing cities
from now on that are the title
of the movies.
Ooh!
Truth or Consequences, Biloxi.
But Brea's off.
No more Brea shows.
Oh, no wait, I take it back. There's a movie called
Orange County.
Wow, that's right.
That covers the whole goddamn area.
Doug loves movie cities tour.
That's what it is, dude.
That's a fun idea that probably won't happen.
Okay.
All right.
Doug, before we get this underway,
I know you love sentimentality.
Can I tell you?
Oh, I love it.
You kept this ship afloat for the last year plus.
It's been a joy doing digital shows with you.
And this is my first in-person comedy show in about 14, 15 months.
It's an honor to be your friend.
It's an honor to do this show with you.
And on behalf of a lot of people listening right now, thank you.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry to do this to you, Brie and Sam,
but I'd like to hear a similar speech
from each of you.
This is my first
meaningful show. I've actually been on the road
doing a lot of shows the last
ten months. They've all been in Texas.
You're good. Let it out.
No, it's fine. No masks there.
I'm fine.
Yeah, same. I've just been working
in nursing homes and just really
feeling the urge to
come back. I'm so honored that I'm
on the first live show. You're on the first show
back, baby!
So honored.
What?
Inappropriate sound.
Yes, filthy.
That's my favorite ta-da
because you know he doesn't do a magic trick.
He's yelling ta-da
for no reason. Like he murders someone
with his little knife.
Everybody goes ta-da.
Is that bipolar emo?
What is that?
It's as close as you can get
to emo without getting sued,
I think.
Your elbow, right?
I think they just made
their own,
they created a character
and he's just got
similar qualities
to a lot of them.
But I've really grown
fond of this guy.
But I want to give him
away tonight
because I did try
to throw him out.
And if you throw him out, he just
shows up in your home again.
Wow, baby, you've been cursed.
So I hope that whoever
wins this tonight,
I hope that that
person doesn't
throw it away because I feel like it might come back to me
if they throw it out.
Yeah, for sure.
And I don't need this shit.
No.
No.
That's the type of thing you put
in the Airbnb you manage just to
scare people.
They'd be like, that's a camera.
100%. We can't fuck in here.
Come on, let's go back and fuck in the kitchen again.
Benny's watching.
Elf on the show.
Even if he's not a camera, I wouldn't make love in front of this.
No.
Nope.
No way.
I thought about one morning I woke up early,
I thought about just putting this on the bed next to my girlfriend when she woke up.
Because we were always joking about how he's going to kill us.
For the listeners at home,
this thing looks like if a Jim Henson creator
drew something when they got bored.
Yeah, it's kind of thrown together,
but I think that's probably also going to be
the idea of the movie.
In the movie, he has a real knife,
and he has a little stuffed one here that's soft.
Do you want to give him a real knife?
Don't do it.
It seems like that's what you're suggesting. That's one of the rules. Don't feed him
after midnight. Don't give him a real knife.
Let's see what's up next here
on my little script.
Oh, haven't done this yet. I mean we did kind of a version of this
in the past but we've been doing this over the last year,
and I think it's really a good thing for the listeners
because there's too many movies.
There's so many movies.
They're like, just deciding I want to watch
on a streaming service or something is tough.
So I've been saying, let's go visit Recommendation Nation,
and I ask each guest to recommend one
movie that they think
people will enjoy for
whatever reason.
Just something
that's good. It could be new,
it could be old.
Let's start with you, Bree.
The film is called My Name is Doris.
Starring Sally
Field. I love that movie.
You can stream it on Hulu.
It was so delightful.
I saw it for the first time.
Max Field Green.
Max Greenfield.
Yeah, yeah.
My brain is pandemic goo, you guys.
I'm not going to say any names right.
But yeah, My Name is Doris.
Real cute.
Directed by Michael Showalter.
If you like them cute-ass rom-com-y offbeat things.
Yep.
Woo!
Watch it with your mom.
Sally Field plays Doris, and she's an older lady,
and she gets a crush on a guy in the same office she works in,
and she pursues it.
And it's Max Greenfield from, now he's on that show, The Neighborhood.
But, yeah, that's a good one.
Thanks, everybody. I like that pic. There's a Kum yeah, that's a good one. Thanks, everybody.
I like that pic.
There's a Kumail Nanjiani appearance in that.
Oh, yeah.
A bunch of comics.
Yeah, and it's a really, really entertaining movie.
Have you seen it, Dan?
I have not, but I will.
My name is Doris.
I'm in.
Sally Fields, just like a heartthrob for the ages, you know?
Yeah.
She's a fly.
Wood Smash today.
What is she, 70?
Yeah, no, she's trying to get it in that movie. Yeah. She's a fly. Would smash today. What is she, 70? Yeah.
No, she's trying to get it in that movie.
Yeah.
She can.
She can get it. Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, she just doesn't bring up that she's Forrest Gump's mother.
There's no reason to drag that into this situation.
That's what I'm saying why people got so mad at Lori Loughlin and those kids getting into college.
Look at what Cy Fields did to get Forrest Gump into that story.
Nobody had a problem with that.
Kids out there on the swing going,
ha, ha, ha, ha.
No one cared at all.
Me for a movie?
My turn?
Yes, please.
I don't know if I've recommended this here before.
I may have not.
But I highly recommend
The Ritual on Netflix.
It is a suspense,
horror-ish,
but not very,
kind of a psychological thriller.
It's a group of four friends
that go on like a
let's get away for the weekend hike and
they should not have done that.
Never go on hikes. No.
That's the worst. And you know what? Don't ever
take the shortcut. Yeah.
But has anybody here seen it at all? The ritual?
Anybody at all? Yes? Good?
Right? Thumbs up from that lady.
Oh, it's beautiful. It's beautifully made.
It's gorgeous. It doesn't
lead the audience too much. It lets you
kind of figure some things out.
It has a good payoff.
It's a wonderful film. I really, really
like it a lot. Who's in it?
People we know.
Because it's BBC, so forgive me.
I'm not super familiar with their celebrities.
But it's like, if you've seen...
Every person has been in a Black Mirror episode.
So it's like, everyone... People who have seen it would agree with me
you're like oh that guy, that guy, that guy
it's very
very very good. But they have British accents in the movie?
Yes. Oh I pass. No
you don't like subtitles? You don't like subtitles?
I hate subtitles. Okay fair enough
highly recommend. No I'm in, I'm in
the ritual. Well if you're going to recommend
a British movie I'm going to
recommend an
Australian movie
it's an oldie
and a goodie
and I'm sure
a lot of people
know it
but I'll bet
some haven't
seen it
Muriel's Wedding
oh
wow
that is a good one
with Tony Colette
and Rachel Griffiths
and it's been
on rotation
on cable a bit
which is how I
watch a lot of movies
and I hadn't seen it
in 20 plus years
and I forgot how charming a movie it which is how I watch a lot of movies. And I hadn't seen it in 20 plus years and I forgot
how charming a movie
it is. And how brilliant
Toni Collette is, by the way, and has always
been. But man, if you've never seen this
movie, do yourself a favor
because a lot of people think
Mamma Mia was the first time Abba songs
got used in a movie.
Nuh-uh!
Not even close.
Muriel's Wedding, check it out.
I'm sure it's streaming somewhere.
Yeah, parts of it are more terrifying
than Hereditary.
Really? Well, because it's a wedding.
Oh, I got you.
There's some extreme awkward...
There's a lot of awkward shit.
I mean, if you're competing with people spider-crawling
in the wall and shit, then I'll watch it.
Yeah.
No, Toni Collette even.
It's interesting.
I think she gained weight for the role, which is a crazy move for an actor nobody knows yet.
You know what I mean?
Nobody's watching it going, oh, she gained weight for the role.
He's got a little weight on her.
I mean, I knew she'd been around in Australia
for a few years before that, but that
was the movie that introduced her to
most American audiences.
It is good.
I've been almost pulling the trigger
on watching that again.
So thank you all for
visiting Recommendation
Nation.
Are you ready to get some games going?
Yeah.
I like games.
Are you ready to get your game on?
Mm-hmm.
I think I accidentally quoted Smash Mouth there.
So I take it back.
We'll do that right after we pick who you're going to play for
during the break. We'll be right
back. We're back
and we've determined who
my guests are going to play for.
Bree is playing for a gentleman
who brought a Pee Wee Herman doll
and slapped a post-it note with his name
on it and it is Phil
and Dan's going to be playing
for a dude named Azery
who Dan already has an impression of.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Fucking Azery, bro.
I like Irish caps and DC hats, dude.
Fucking deal with it, bro.
Now, I want the listeners to know
we can't confirm that that's what that guy
sounds like. Dan just decided
to make that his voice.
And if that guy wants to chime in at any point during the proceedings, Dan, be sure to...
I'll tell you how great my fucking Scion XV is, dude.
A lot of people sleep on the Scion, bro.
It's fucking great, dude.
What are the miles like on that?
Dude, I'm not going to lie to you, dude.
It gets fucking 1920 in the city, bro.
What?
Yeah, dude.
Fucking pop that hat, dude.
That sounds more like a year than a mileage Europe. What? Yeah, dude. Fucking pop that hat, dude. That sounds more like a year
than a mileage number.
19, 20?
Dude, I roll that fucker
down to Huntington,
I sell bracelets
out of the back gate,
it's fucking dope.
I don't sound like that, dude.
Dude, you don't even
fucking know, dude.
I would have given you
a hundred dollars
to do your best British accent.
Alright, so I'm glad we established who's going to win the prizes tonight, potentially.
Wait, did we get to Megan yet?
What's that?
Did we talk about Megan?
Oh, I forgot to say that Sam is playing for Megan.
What's the sign?
It's mostly because I didn't want Sam to talk forever about how he's on her sign.
I said it during the break, Doug.
That was yours to cut out.
I know.
No, I'm saying now you're going to say it anyway, so I'm saying it too.
I just wanted her to get her name shout out.
That's all.
Oh, okay.
And her sign is Three Ninjas.
It's Three Ninjas.
No way.
High Noon at Megan Mountain
and mine is
Azery and the Hendersons.
Yeah, but I got Doug.
He's got me on there.
Don't change your voice.
Don't change your voice.
You're fucking
faking it, man.
Dude, I'm just saying, man.
I'm like, you know,
fucking sexuality is fluid, dude. I put people, you know, fucking sexuality is fluid, dude.
I put people I'm attracted to on the fucking poster, dude.
Like, fucking deal with it, man.
I'm not trying to hug you.
You smoke weed, Azery?
Fuck yeah, dude.
I was talking to the other Azery.
I'm sorry.
Sorry, I wasn't...
As much as any other dude named Azery.
I was looking at you.
Here, give the other Azery these cones from UCB rolling papers. Yeah, I'm looking at you? Here, give the other Acery these cones from UCB
rolling papers.
Yeah.
Dude, he can even do your walk.
I can fucking do his walk, dude.
I brought enough of these for
everybody that wants one.
Bree, you get one. Thanks.
Sam and Dan don't need these.
But yeah, anybody else wants one, I'll hook you up. Sell those up at L.B., dude.
I'll hook you up.
Let's see if this lady right here can catch.
Hey, it's you.
Can I throw it to you?
I'll try.
All right.
You got this, Chelsea.
You got this. Why. You got this.
Why is it on the face?
Oh.
Intercepted.
Intercepted.
It's safe.
All right.
We'll throw some more of those out later, but as I said earlier, to listen to that's
not fun.
Let's play our first game.
It's called Live, Die, Repeat.
Woo!
I will say
the full title of
a motion picture
that really exists
I'll say it slowly
one word at a time
I'll repeat every time somebody
guesses wrong I'll go back to the beginning
oh boy
would it be funny if it was just like Ted?
Ted.
I think I did that once.
Yeah.
Sam won the first game.
All right.
So all you got to do, and just the people on stage, please, nobody in the audience,
although it would be very hard to just yell this out, but somebody might do it.
Is everybody ready?
Yes, sir.
I love the Sam Levine intensity.
That's what
the people are here for, Doug.
Welcome back
to the battle for second place.
It's Britt and Daniel.
You know, you never know.
You never know.
You never ever know. You never know. You never know.
You never, ever know. I'm pretty sure.
I mean, if we were playing the Leonard Maltin game, then yeah, Sam would destroy everybody.
We've determined that Sam and Jeff Tate are the only people that are good at that game.
And Sam is the best.
All right.
Jeff is very good.
He is. and Sam is the best alright Jeff is very good he is
the only thing better
than you winning that game
yeah
is you backstage
telling me why
you should have won it
and that's not a cut
you guys think I'm being mean
I love that conversation
because he's like
here's what happened
if that person
like that's the best
tell me more
that makes me sound
like a gem backstage
no it's it's genuinely great
I just complain about the getting mathematically shut out
I know
And I know people like to hear it
Which is why I'm so glad you gave me the opportunity to bring it up
Well, Doug left
No, I was just searching for my water
Behind this mountain of cones
From OCB rolling papers.
A lot of cones you have there.
Yeah, it's crazy.
I've got to figure out a better way to give them to everybody than throwing to them one at a time.
All right, live, die, repeat.
Here we go.
Borat subsequent.
Movie film.
Movie film.
Borat subsequent movie film
for people
Borat
subsequent movie film
delivery
of
prodigious
bribe to
American
regime
for make,
no guesses, benefit.
Glorious nation of Kazakhstan?
Dude, I'm going to be straight up with you.
I fucking dabbed like right before I fucking got here, dude.
Borat, such a good movie film
for delivery of prodigious fucking shit.
Borat, subsequent movie film
delivery of prodigious bribe
for make glorious benefit. Oh no, I screwed up. Subsequent movie film delivery or prodigious bribe for make glorious benefit
Oh no, I screwed up.
Subsequent movie film
delivery
You can't just repeat
the words as I say them.
You've got to say the whole thing.
Dude, you fucking say it, dude, and then I fucking say it.
Yeah, the whole thing.
You've got to start from the beginning.
Oh my god.
Borat,sequent Movie Film
Delivery of Prodigious
Bribe to American Regime
for Make Benefit
Once Glorious Nation
of Kazakhstan.
Borat Subsequent Movie Film
Delivery
Prodigious Bribe
to Americans for
Glorious of Kazakhstan. Right, everybody? prodigious bribe to Americans for glorious
of Kazakhstan.
Right, everybody?
Borat.
Borat. Subsequent movie film.
Delivery.
You're just doing what I do.
Prodigious bribe
to American regime
for make benefit
once glorious nation of Kazakhstan.
That is it!
Now, Doug, you do it
without looking at the paper.
Okay, okay.
Borat, subsequent
movie, film,
delivery,
delivery of bribes.
Is prodigious before bribes?
Prodigious bribes.
No, dude, I know Borat.
That's it.
Make benefit to America.
Make benefit for...
Yeah, it's tough.
No, I mean, the day that movie came out,
I was just like,
I can't wait to play this and live,
die, repeat.
And that day was April of last year.
But now it's today!
It's like, that is
perfect for that game. Because I
kind of run out of long titles, you know,
playing this game all the time. So anyway,
Sam Levine did it, everybody!
Good job, sir. Thank you.
And that means you get to go first
in our next game. I love games.
I don't know how you feel about this one.
It's A, B, C, D, no!
Oh, boy!
It's been a long time.
I've played this one a few times over the last year,
but not quite as
much as I used to, and I love it. It's a spelling
game and in honor of our friend that's on stage right now, Benny, in his movie, Benny
Loves You, we're going to spell Benny Loves You.
Okay.
Yeah. So Sam's going to get the first letter as B and he can name any movie that begins
with letter B and that keeps him in the game. But if it matches
the movie I wrote down
then he wins
automatically. And then we'll
go to Bree and then
to Daniel.
And
yeah. See if you figure
out the theme. But obviously
Sam can't so far.
The bummer of going first is I can't possibly figure
out the theme yet, so I'll start with...
You could wild guess it. I'm going to wild guess
and say
Bridge of Spies.
That's a...
begins with B.
I accomplished the hard question.
So you're still in.
But the title I wrote down
is Bride of Chucky.
Oh.
Okay.
Hmm.
Hmm.
What's going on there?
Oh, okay.
The next letter is E to Bree.
Any movie that begins with E, but if you have an idea what the theme might be.
Movies that take place at a wedding.
That's an example of a theme.
Yep. Well, I plan for N. at a wedding. That's an example of a theme.
Yeah.
Well, I planned for N.
Oh, right.
I switched the order around on you
so that wasn't cool.
Oh, I got a good one for you.
How about
Escape from Alcatraz
because of
the
there was a doll
in there.
Oh.
Escape from Alcatraz? There's a doll in that movie? Didn't they put a doll in the bed. An escape from Alcatraz?
There's a doll in that movie?
Didn't they put a doll in the bed and then escape from Alcatraz?
Yes.
They put three of them.
A doll?
Yeah.
Anything that's not a human but looks like a human is a doll.
Hang on a tick.
So those things with the clothing on them in the store windows?
Big dolls.
Big dolls.
Okay. Huge. Big dolls. Okay.
Huge.
Noted.
Be like, that outfit looks pretty good on that doll.
What about me?
Original title for Mannequin?
The Tall Lady with the Torch in New York by Ellis Island.
Huge ass.
French doll.
French doll.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
More expensive.
Got it.
Mannequin.
I didn't know that's how it was pronounced.
Now you do, dude.
Oh, Azery.
The way you say things.
I went with a motion picture called Evil Dead 2.
Ooh.
Yeah.
So now we're at the end.
So there's two of them in a row, but Dan gets the first one.
Nightmare on Elm Street.
Sam, of course, is wincing because that film is famously called A Nightmare on Elm Street.
But I don't want to eliminate you this early, so give us another one.
I will go with...
All right, you're eliminated.
Man, I didn't go beyond that.
You're right.
I can see the box right now.
I will go with...
Night at the Museum.
Spooky.
Well, I had to say something.
Yeah, it's just a shame you didn't say
Night at the Museum, Secret of the Tomb.
Yeah, that would have been a match.
Yeah?
Yeah, exactly.
Sam, you get the other end.
Night of the Living Dead.
Oh, I went with Night at the Museum.
Doug, if that's not real, don't ever tell anybody.
Went just like we practiced at a rehearsal, Doug.
Oh, you haven't missed a fucking step.
That one I've been plotting for a while.
That's great.
I mean, Benny just came into my life,
so I couldn't have known that I was going to do a Benny Loves You.
It's fine.
Okay, why is the next letter, and that goes to Bree.
Why?
Well, there are so many reanimation-type films.
Yep.
So I want to say a film that starts with Y.
Because that's what I'm doing right now.
So the film that I'm going to say
I like it.
That's a good stall technique.
Is to use full sentences.
This is just what I do now.
Breathe from the person. Start talking about where you're from.
I'm going to say the movie
Yes Men,
which is very spooky
because Jim Carrey,
in charge of the elements.
I was really hoping you'd get there.
I think I know what it is.
I'll let Doug rule on Yes Man first.
Oh yeah, I need to rule on that.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, we got so close to it, too.
You know what?
I've never seen it.
I mean, I wish I could say...
You've never seen it?
I've never seen it.
I wish I could say yes, man.
But I can't.
I wrote down...
Young Frankenstein.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
What?
Whoa!
You blew your own theme, man.
Curveball-throwing motherfucker.
Yeah, that's interesting.
I don't think, you know,
I never thought of Frankenstein or any Frankenstein movies
as an option for this theme.
Oh, wow. Okay.
It just didn't cross my mind.
Okay.
Yeah.
What did?
I don't look at Benny and think Frankenstein.
I don't know why.
He looks all put together in a lab.
Wow.
The answer was young Sherlock
Holmes.
Because Benny
is also a detective?
He's still young.
Yeah, didn't you know his
partner is Pikachu?
Hi, Benny. This know his partner is Pikachu? Hi, Benny.
This is my partner, Pikachu.
L.
Dan.
Is it Dan?
Yeah.
Dan, L.
I can't think of anything good for whatever theme I thought we were doing.
So I'll just go with an L.
What movie do I love?
La La Land.
Benny loves you. La La Land. And he loves you.
Oh, thanks.
Nope.
Okay.
The answer is, look who's talking.
Oh.
Yeah.
I don't know the theme.
Do you know the theme?
I do not at this point, no.
It's a chaotic theme. You do it? I do not at this point. It's a chaotic theme.
You do it?
I barely know it.
O is the next.
I thought it was I.
Benny loves you.
Benny lives inside you.
Benny lives to kill you.
Well, I mean, it doesn't fit the theme,
but I know you really like this movie.
Once.
I do really like this movie.
Yeah, I know.
Is this movies I really like?
Could be.
I mean, you never stop talking about
Night at the Museum, Secret of the Tomb.
It's true.
I keep talking about how I don't know that one really.
That's the one with Hank Azaria?
I don't know. I never saw it.
Yeah. I think Hank Azaria's like a mean...
He does a good... It's a good voice,
a good character. He's like the bad guy, but he's funny.
But that's all I remember
of Secret of the Tomb. And the second one
all I remember is that Amy Adams
wore amazing pants.
She's supposed to be
Amelia Earhart, and apparently she looked good in a pair of pants. She's supposed to be Amelia Earhart and
apparently she looked good in a pair of pants.
Like
jodhpurs or whatever they call them.
Pantaloons.
I don't think that's it. Jompers?
Yes.
Rompers. Jompers.
It's mannequin. Jompers.
Once. Get Azari to pronounce this.
Oh.
Oh, once, he said.
Yeah, I said once.
He said that a while ago.
I did.
I went with Oz the Great and Powerful.
Yep, that was my next one.
What is this theme?
I don't know.
Is the theme movies that have played across the street?
Movies that have played across the street?
I walked across the street because I was looking for an ATM
and nobody's at the movies.
Nobody's over there.
I mean, I know 5 o'clock on a Wednesday
or whatever when I was over there.
It's a good time to go, actually.
It is, yeah.
Have you gone yet?
Especially in a pandemic.
What?
Have you gone yet to a movie? I have not seen
a movie in a theater. I went.
What'd you see? Quiet Place 2. Same.
Yeah. I enjoyed it.
That's the movie that got you out? Yep.
You didn't break down and try to speak
in a theater last summer? I tried
to buy tickets to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
at the New Beverly and that's
sold out for like eight weeks. Yeah.
For obvious reasons. Because people love that movie
and then also
they get to go back to that
theater and see it.
That was a wild choice on their part
to just play that over and over again.
But I'd go. I'd see it
again under those circumstances.
I didn't love it. Really?
I absolutely love it. Yeah, people do.
It's true. Yeah, I don't love it really I absolutely love it people do it's true
yeah I don't know what
it's weird to like
it's so much weight on whatever movie I choose
to sit in a theater
and see you know
it feels like such a
waiting for the right movie and I just might
never see a movie in a theater again
you know it's coming out tomorrow
well Fast 9's coming out soon. Doug, you never missed
one of those. I'm going to save that for
the next Sketch Fest probably.
Really? Yeah, because those movies are so fun
to interrupt that I might
just wait.
I've already waited a year.
I've gone through a whole year waiting for
F9. I think I can go another few months.
What about Top Gun 2? Could you make that your first one back? That's not coming out for F9. I think I could go another few months. What about Top Gun 2? Could you make that
your first one back?
I don't think...
That's not coming out
for a while.
It's not July?
I thought it was July.
I have no idea.
July is pretty soon
now that you mention it.
But yeah, so...
No, I'll probably see
something before then.
In the Heights comes out.
Ooh, there's a good
I know, but it's on
HBO fucking Max.
But you want to see it
on the big old screen?
There's going to be
all high musicals.
I can see it on the
big old screen later too. Spectacle. Yeah, you're right. But I want to see it on the big old screen? There's going to be all kinds of musicals. I can see it on the big old screen later too.
Spectacle.
Yeah, you're right.
But I'll sit close.
Okay.
Britt, you said that on pitch
and I appreciate it.
Thank you, honey.
It's Bree.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
I have HBO Max
on my phone only.
So I would have to be
so close to enjoy
In the Heights.
Yeah.
No, you should see that one in the theater.
We'll get you an Oculus. That'll be fun.
My God, I'm so excited.
It's going to be great.
I know it's going to be great, so yeah, that is
a good one to go back to the theater for, I guess.
V?
Who's V? You're V?
Valley Girl.
Nice pull.
It's like,
because I think the theme is about things talking
that don't normally talk, like E.G.
Daly, the voiceover
artist in Valley Girl,
who also rugrats in Powerpuff Girls.
Don't forget Pee-wee's Big Adventure.
And Pee-wee's Big Adventure, fuck yeah, dude.
All on theme. It's the whole night.
Yeah, E.G. Daly. But what if
she's inanimate in the movie?
Well, she talks, and we don't normally see that.
Oh.
I mean, you normally don't see her because she does voices a lot.
Okay, I see.
No, no, no.
I went with virtuosity.
Mmm.
Yeah.
Not The Matrix. No, because The with virtuosity. Yeah. Not the matrix.
No, because the matrix, yeah, that would be V matrix maybe.
Because this is a V one.
E is the next letter.
Erase your head.
Dude, way to go, buddy.
He did it.
He did it.
Yeah.
He's getting closer to getting you this crate full of crap.
Yeah.
Do it.
What was the theme?
The theme is supposed to be movies that have things that aren't supposed to talk.
Fair enough. That talk. Gotcha.
That's a tricky
theme to pull off.
I love that.
I don't think it talks
but something comes to life
in it. There's a
chicken wing on a plate
and it starts moving around.
It was very loose but S I think you would have gotten chicken wing on a plate. And it starts moving around. So,
it was very loose, but
S, I think you would have gotten, Sam.
Oh, Saving Silverman.
Yes, see?
No, that's not right.
Oh, you guys.
Dude, I'm not going to lie, you fucking had me
there, dude.
You were buying it. You were totally
buying it. I went with
for S
seed of Chucky
yeah yeah
and then
Y
someone told me
something comes to life
in yoga hosers
but
does it
sausages
there you go
see
so that's legit
and then I couldn't
think of another one
for O
so I just said
Oz the Great and Powerful again.
Great.
And then another one that I'm not positive,
but I'm pretty sure that it's accurate
because it's such a wacky movie.
Makes sense something would come to life.
UHF.
Yeah, sure.
I think so.
I think something comes to life.
I think a straw comes to life.
It goes into Michael Richards' nose.
It comes out of his ear.
Okay.
I think something like that happens, isn't it?
You know what, you guys?
What, buddy?
The excitement going into our next game is palpable.
And I don't want anybody to overexert themselves.
Oh, my God. Do I need to lay down?
no, no you're good
but we are going to go to another break
we'll be right back
we're back
yeah
if you were here live
you would have heard a great joke about
Doug loves loners but you gotta come to his show
what do I love loves loners, but you gotta come to his show. What do I love?
Loners.
Oh, loners, yeah.
You mean that's cars that you get
when your car's being serviced?
Yes.
Like whenever he sees, like,
this is a loner vehicle
from Vankirk Automotive.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's very excited about that.
Dan, you won that last game barely
you squeaked that one out
with Eraserhead
which I think is just
you know
something you say
every day
it is
but you're such a big
David Lynch fan
but
I would like to announce
the return
of a game we haven't played
since the show moved to Zoom.
And it's a game called Last Woman Standing.
Nice.
Pre-Pando, I wrote down a name.
And I put it in my wallet.
A name of an actress.
And then for several shows, it went for several weeks,
I would pick somebody in the audience, the name's an actress,
and I would say, you're going to win X number of dollars
if the name matches the name in my wallet.
Oh, boy.
And it hadn't happened yet when we stopped doing shows in front of audiences,
but I never took it out of my wallet. It's. And it hadn't happened yet when we stopped doing shows in front of audiences. But I never took it out of my
wallet! It's still
in there, and so I'm going to
continue forward with it. Awesome.
Does anybody, maybe Chelsea
was there at that last one.
Does anybody remember
how much money it was up to?
How much money I said I was going to give away
to the person who matched?
Seven grand? 8 grand?
I don't think it was that high
I was high but the number
was much more reasonable
I think
so I couldn't figure it out
and I'm so stupid I should have just
listened to the last episode but
I don't, why would I want to do that?
So yeah, I mean I don't know, I guess I could have episode, but I don't, why would I want to do that? So, yeah.
I don't know, I guess I could have found it, but
I also decided
let's just start at a hundy.
Okay?
It's a dollar a guess.
If you get it wrong, it goes into the pot, right?
What?
It's a dollar a guess.
If you get it wrong, it goes
into the pot.
Douglas, movies turn into some sort of scam. Look, it's not dollar a guess if you get it wrong it goes into the pot Doug loves movies turn into some sort of scam
look it's not a scam
it's an opportunity
here's what I want you guys to do
are you interested in financial freedom
talk to your friends
if they sign up you make money
if they have friends who sign up they make money
everybody wins douglovesloaners.com
they make money. Everybody wins.
Douglovesloaners.com Do it.
It better be good.
Dude, I'm fucking
signing up for that program, dude.
I remember when I thought
shape-ups were shitty, but I fucking put them on.
They're great, dude.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
It bothers me,
doesn't it? Yeah, it's always,
they're all just a little off. They're all just like,
hmm, okay.
It's off just enough to not get sued.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, his vest used to button in the front, but he's put on some weight.
But doesn't he also look a lot like Rolf?
Yeah, Rolf the dog from the Muppets, yeah.
Absolutely right.
A lot like Rolf.
Yeah, just picture him at a piano.
Lawsuit's back on.
I think they're safe at this point if Henson Company hasn't said anything who else would like some rolling
see that's how it works
I put balls in hands Dan
I know for the listener at home the guy caught it in his mouth
he took his mask off it was amazing
I do everybody that's got a mask on right now I appreciate you He took his mask off. It was amazing.
I do.
Everybody that's got a mask on right now,
I appreciate you so much.
We took ours off, of course,
for talking purposes.
And, you know,
people are vaxxed, not vaxxed.
I heard this today.
Before the show, I was like,
I'm going to try not to talk about the pandemic at all.
Pretend it didn't happen. But I heard today that employers can
say, are you vaccinated?
And then you have to say yes or
no. But then they can't
ask any follow-up questions.
They can't be like, why
are or aren't you?
They can't get involved
beyond that. I'm sure there won't be any issues with that.
No, not at all.
I'm sure it's going to be smooth sailing.
Yeah, yeah.
But like here in Southern California
or California in general,
you know, Cal OSHA or whatever
says that masks are going to stay indoors
until July 31st.
Fuck that, dude.
I'm not getting that fucking Bill Gates DNA.
Fuck that.
So did the government negotiate
with the virus that it's going to go away?
Yeah, they had some
behind closed doors meetings.
That's great. And they came to an agreement.
Go union.
July 31st, you guys.
Go crazy.
But
in the meantime, we'll just get by.
Thank you again, everyone that wears a mask or got vaccinated.
Hunter Bucks is on the line.
Yeah, we got to pick somebody in the audience to suggest a name.
Remember, it's $10 entry.
This lady right here.
Stop it with this scam.
It's an opportunity. Stop it with this scam. What's your name, man?
Stop it.
Okay, so
since you two are up here going, Sally Fields,
Sally Fields, she thinks it's Sally Fields.
I didn't say Sally Fields. I pointed to Bree
and to Dan. Settle down, Sam. I'm letting
the listeners know. I know that you know
it's Sally Field,
not Fields.
So if that was written in my pocket, man.
Newsflash, I get names wrong.
Newsflash.
Still sorry, Bree.
It's okay, man.
I said Manaquin.
I repeated that one because I like it.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, that was a good one.
But I just want to be clear that Sally Field is your choice.
And that is, unfortunately, is's not in my wallet, that name.
So you can either, it's either four fives, two tens, or a twenty.
However you want to pay.
You entered into this.
It's a discount for multiple guesses, right?
You can just pass the money to the person next to you.
And they'll pass it to me.
And that's how, It's not a pyramid.
But thank you for playing, and
I want to give away this
money. So we're going to do Sally Field.
Oh, okay. And we're going to add
another name.
Okay.
Let's pick somebody from over on the other side
over there.
In the white with the hand up over there, what's your name?
Ashley.
Thank you for being here, Ashley.
Oh, you're with Azery?
Okay, fuck that.
Fuckin' A, she is, dude.
How about...
Sorry, babe, he doesn't like plus ones.
No, I mean, he's already eligible for the prize, and they came together.
What's your name over here, ma'am?
You were raising your hand
a second ago. Now you're looking around like
not me.
Yeah.
Your name is Salma Hayek.
Wow, it's such an honor to meet you.
That is so cool.
You're great in everything.
What's your name?
Nellie.
Okay, Nellie.
Thank you for your suggestion.
You don't live in Brea but you've had a couple cocktails for sure
you drink in Brea
this is where you come to drink
then you go somewhere
and it's Salma right
people think her name is Selma but it's Selma, right? People think her name's Selma.
But it's Salma.
S-A-L-M-A.
Did I or not?
No, you're right.
You're right.
Yeah, you nailed it, right?
No, I don't know what the name's.
A1 or...
Oh, no, it's not in the wallet.
It's not in the wallet.
Oh, it's not in the wallet.
I'm sorry.
If you have a 50, we can break it.
I think it's a 100. Do we take crypto yet?
We do not yet take crypto, but we're working on it.
Only cash app, too.
But thank you for playing and suggesting another great actress, Salma Hayek,
so that we're adding her to the group today.
Okay.
Yeah, we got time.
I'm going to play along. We're going to have a massive
last woman standing.
Because we're back.
We still
need to give someone else a chance
at the money. We'll just do one more.
Are we adding a third name?
Yeah, Sam.
We're going to be here all night.
The two of you will.
We'll be here for another...
But in the booth, I think it's a lady, blonde lady, holding her hand up.
Yes.
Cameron Diaz.
What's your name?
Vanessa.
What?
Vanessa.
Vanessa.
Hi, Vanessa.
Okay, so she suggests Cameron Diaz.
Not in the wallet.
Oh.
Yeah.
There's a lot of actresses. Yeah. Not in the wallet. Yeah.
There's a lot of actresses.
Yeah.
So, all right.
So the next time I do a show with an audience, I'll raise the prize money up, like $20, $120.
Wow.
And if somebody says the name in the wallet, they'll win.
This is exciting, right? That's great.
I love it.
Yeah.
It's a way to make money and make other people money
no stop bringing that part up
that's not really part of it
this is all
nobody has to
they paid to be here that's plenty
can you see my wallet?
that's an interesting question
this lady does not believe
that there even is a wallet
she doesn't think there's a wallet
let alone a name in it
there's no fucking
there's no wallet man
there's no wallet man
he goes up there and he fucking talks about it
nobody even questions man
you gotta learn how to trust girl
you came here
you put your life on the line
to come to a comedy club in Brea.
I've watched so many people fucking sit down, dude.
That dude is not sitting on a wallet, dude.
I can fucking tell you that right now.
Hey, I'm coming all the way from
North Carolina. Oh, she drove here
from North Carolina.
Let me see your wallet.
Let me see your wallet. What, are you
fucking Sam Jackson?
What is this shit?
Yeah, this one was a prank.
Let me see your fucking wallet.
Say what again, motherfucker?
You better.
Yeah, it says bad motherfucker on it.
I feel like she really needs to see my wallet.
But is it to confirm that the name is not Salma Hayek? Is that what you're saying?
Because I don't want to show you the name because then you'll know
what the actual name is.
And you might tell somebody.
You know that.
I think they're just concerned that
you don't carry a wallet.
They're going to mug you later.
No, I've got a wallet.
I've got the bad duck to prove it.
You don't have to prove your wallet ownership to anybody.
You know, Doug,
a guest is allowed to ask you if you carry a wallet.
You can say yes or no,
but they can't ask why.
No follow-up questions.
Why do you do or don't do have a wallet?
Do or don't do have a wallet?
What's wrong with me?
Could you help me out and just
pass this to that nice lady that
wants to see my wallet? At the very least
she should get a pin
with me on it that she'll turn around
and give to somebody else.
I know she's not drunk, but I wish she was so
drunk she was like, this little bag is
his wallet?
I can confirm from this angle.
Look, you guys can sort of see now.
T has a wallet.
I do have a wallet, yeah.
Don't you dare take that wallet!
It's my wallet, you son of a bitch!
He's got it.
He's got it, folks.
It's real.
Yeah, and then the name is on a piece of paper
that's sticking up right here.
Oh, shit!
You can see the letters DLM.
Oh, my God.
This is like a magic trick.
And I haven't touched it in all this time.
And if you join our founding members program.
Stop it.
You can get a better look at the wallet.
You can see one marking that may or may not be a letter.
Right.
Now that's at the wallet level.
We have other levels.
I know it's like a ridiculous joke
and there's level scams or whatever,
but actually, I was successful with this program.
And so, you know, prizes.
I went to Jamaica.
Listen to testimonials from Greg.
Okie dokie.
It always works.
Oh, Benny.
Sally Field.
Cameron's Diaz.
It was the third one?
Salma's Hayek's.
Salma's Hayek's.
Those are the three names we're going to play.
Now, this is the part where you don't need
to speak out loud anymore.
Because I feel
you're going to yell out the names of Selma Hayek
movies as the Selma
Hayek resident
expert. And it's just between
all of us on stage.
The three of us are going to
take turns naming films
from any of those three great actresses, filmography.
Cameron, Drew, and Lucy Liu.
And, ooh, I just gave you guys a potential answer.
I know, I know.
Oh, exciting.
Salma Hayek, Sally Field, Cameron Diaz.
We start with the winner of the last game, who is Dan.
I think.
Yep.
Then we'll go to Bree, then me, then Sam.
Yeah, Sam's got a...
We will have destroyed three titles.
There will barely be anything left.
I'll go low-hanging fruit and just say Forrest Gump.
Nice.
Oh, yeah, because we mentioned it earlier.
Yeah, it's a clever, clever play.
Thank you.
Bree?
I'll go lower and say, my name is Doris.
Yeah, that did work out.
Yeah, I feel real good about this, Doug. Thanks.
I mean, okay, so
for mentioning previously, you mentioned
movies that one of those actresses
is in. I think I don't have any
more. Oh, but I
did allude to, so I'll just say it.
Charlie's Angels.
Sam? Charlie's Angels, colon,
full throttle.
Yeah, I mean,
if they didn't have a colon
where would that
where would all that power go
I don't know
it's a very important colon Doug
I will go
that one was called full throttle
because of all the motocross action
in it
I think that was
I believe that is why they
went with that.
Why was the first Charlie's Angels
so much fun and then the second one such a bummer?
Because, you know, paychecks, man.
They make people lazy.
They just did
more of the same stuff.
They went back to the well and people wanted
a new well.
Demi Moore was not enough of a new will.
No.
But she is in my wallet.
I didn't say that.
Don't worry about it, lady.
I will go with the mask.
Nice.
Oh, yeah.
I believe Cameron Diaz's screen debut.
Yeah.
Okay.
Who's turn is next? I'll stay with Cameron and say there's something about Mary. Okay. Whose turn is next?
I'll stay with Cameron and say there's something about Mary.
Why not?
Why not?
There is.
There is something about Mary.
There is.
Several things about her.
Like she can still pay attention to a show while figuring out the check.
Mm-hmm.
I haven't had a check drop
during Douglas movies
when I'm at home doing Zoom
nobody's walking around putting little receipts
down in front of everybody
you're not used to hearing someone say
how do you want to split this
because I didn't drink much of my drink
you dragged me here
you better pay.
You fucking owed me, dude.
Oh, it's my turn?
Yep. Oh, man. It's like...
It's like night and day.
There you go.
Wow. That's a good one. I mean,
there are so many movies, honestly,
to guess from here, but only fools rush in. So... a good one. I mean, there are so many movies, honestly, to guess from here, but, you know,
only fools rush in.
Okay.
It's not called
only fools rush in.
Dan?
I mean,
when you put something in the form
of a sentence, I don't want to get too
desperado.
Oh.
Nice. Nailed it.
In my way, I did.
Nailed it.
Who's that?
Is it Selma?
She's a desperado?
Okay.
For me, I think
everyone here is good and not bad, teacher.
Yeah!
Now, she couldn't do that before she signed up for the program.
That's right.
The workshops were hard.
They were hard, but they're profitable.
But I released so much trauma.
You gotta buy money to spend money.
And the meals were great.
I think one thing that's holding me back from going to the cinema
is that I just, I refuse.
I refuse to see a movie.
Oh, shit.
I had like this all in my head.
I had the perfect ramp up to that
and now it doesn't make any sense to say
not without my daughter.
Awesome.
I don't have a daughter.
I mean I know
we're in the middle of a game and
I don't want to launch into a story but once upon
a time in Mexico.
Nice! You know what I'll save it for later.
I'll save it for later.
Thank you.
I might be out.
No way. Sally Field,
the three greatest actresses
of our times. I know, but I'm in a...
Bro, they were all in a movie together.
Name it. Sally, Salma,
Cameron.
You got this, man.
Azri is out there going, what the fuck?
Who'd have thought the guy named Azri would yell out,
what the fuck, dude?
Ah, man.
I'm just in this Facebook group where we
specifically hate these three actresses.
Wow.
And we don't talk about their movies, which I'm like, well, at least we should, bitch.
Because then I would know.
Man.
Owl.
Spy Kids? Yep.
Yeah.
I Spy Kids.
That was wrong.
We'll edit that out, right?
Why? No reason.
Good. I mean, you live across
from a school.
And you like to play I Spy
with my little eye.
Kids!
So you're like,
I spy kids.
Perfect.
Great.
I heard one of those kids was named Gidget.
What?
The TV show?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's TV.
Then I heard...
Did they make a Gidget movie
ever, Sam?
I don't think so.
Well, that's good
because I was just
talking about kids.
I wasn't talking
about this game
but I did hear
that one of those
kids speaks Spanish
Brie I'm looking
at life for a second
I thought that
one of them
was in the movie
kids
yeah I was like
damn
she stuck kids in
wow
yeah
that'd be sick
this movie
I'm gonna say
is Volver
oh
okay
what is that?
It's a Salma Hayek film.
Oh, is it?
Volvaire, Pedro Almodovar.
Okay.
I just haven't seen it.
I'm sure it's wonderful.
I'll check it out.
I feel like you might be slipping through on this one,
but I like that about you.
Volvaire, any love?
She's in it?
Salma Hayek's in it?
Okay.
Okay.
Good confirmation from the guy who you're playing on behalf of.
Yeah, right.
He's confirming it.
He's done the research, and he can guarantee that that is a correct answer.
This is messy looking, Phil.
That is a correct answer.
We rehearsed this.
There's just so much to choose from, you know?
But I just worry for Brie.
I'm just sitting here trying to be, you know, in her shoes.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
Sam?
This sucks.
I had the greatest joke, but for the life of me, I cannot remember the punchline.
Ah, Sally Field was in punchline.
That's right.
Doug, I cannot think.
Are you ramping up to a title, or are you really out?
No, that's the slippery slope.
When you do this, you guys think that someone, oh, there it is.
He stuck the landing.
No, I'm not going to carry Strug this.
I have no idea.
Man, what is the movie where she looks like that?
Frida.
Such a good one.
Frida, did you just see the eyebrows?
No, I remembered that earlier,
but it isn't even the movie or actress
I was talking about in that sentence. I was like, oh yeah, I remember. I thought but it isn't even the movie or actress I was talking about
in that sentence.
But then I was like,
oh yeah,
I remember,
I thought of Frida earlier.
I was going to go with Frida,
but then I went for the joke.
Wow.
Thank you.
You're welcome, buddy.
That's what happens.
Yep.
It's all right.
Okay, we're back to you.
Oh, I think I thought
of another one.
What?
Oh, you got another one?
Yeah, we'll see
if that pans out.
All right.
Good luck remembering it.
I know.
It's going to be
a few minutes.
We're on Bree now.
I've been trying to think of a movie the whole time.
The whole time?
The whole time?
It's Mrs. Doubtfire, everybody.
Good job.
The whole time?
She was so, she didn't know.
She couldn't believe it.
I didn't know that you were acting out a line from that movie.
Oh, man, it's so iconic that movie is like a song
that I can never forget
that movie is I want it that way
it just plays in the background
it was a run by fruiting
you know every day
it's very memorable
these actresses
are so good
but you know what
none of them are good at
being John Malkovich
Sam
I really wanted to say being John Malkovich it's one of my all time favorite films Sam?
I really wanted to say Being John Malkovich.
It's one of my all-time favorite films.
And if you would have just let me set it,
that would have been the sweetest thing.
How deep are you right now?
Like 9, 10, 15 more?
I have no idea.
I could go a while in this.
You think you could go the longest yard?
No one's in that movie, guys.
I wanted
the feeling. I just wanted the feeling.
I knew it was a blank bullet
when I fired the gun. I knew.
You got me good. This is exactly why I trust you
with all my money.
And you should.
And you can too.
I think I'm wrong.
Oh.
But I'd have more than enough fun if I have to hang out after this.
Do you want to check in with your...
I haven't said officially we could do this,
but we could do lifelines.
You could check in with...
Oh, I'll do that.
You can see if Azery can help you.
Dude, what do you mean?
You mean Blazery did?
What's up?
What's up, dude?
Hang on.
All right, Ace.
You're going to do one of the Shrek movies?
Oh, yeah.
Thanks for helping all of us, Azery.
That doesn't really help him.
You know, Shrek movies.
I don't know if
you're coming closer to the character
I've been doing.
I don't know, dude.
You just want to say,
not like I like other shit,
but like Shrek, I guess.
That's what I'm going with.
Shrek.
Excellent.
Awesome.
Thanks, buddy.
Yeah, you did it.
Brie?
I don't know what any of those sequels are called,
so I'm going to say
this is just a wild, wild west time.
Nicely done.
Some extra stuff in that sentence,
but I feel fine.
I like it.
Which of the three actresses is in Wild Wild West?
Salma Hayek is in Wild Wild West.
She's the lady on the train with big boobs.
She wears pants with the butt out at one point.
Yeah.
It's kind of a thankless role, but she looks good
doing it.
You know who had the thankless role? That spider.
That's Dame Judi Dench.
I think the first time
I'm very aware of Selma Hayek
and how awesome she is, is when I saw From Dusk Till Dawn.
There you go.
Yep, that's how long it took me to watch it, but it ended up being worth it.
Sam?
Yeah, no joke.
Shrek Forever After.
There you go.
Which one is that in the series?
I believe that's the fourth one.
Okay.
I hate when I have to give my answer with a question mark.
The Mask of Zorro?
Is she?
Sure.
Or was that Catherine Zeta-Jones?
It was Catherine Zeta-Jones.
That's why I'll say Home for the Holidays.
No, that's Holly Hunter. Who's in that? That's Holly Hunter. That's why I'll say Home for the Holidays. No, that's Holly Hunter.
Who's in that?
That's Holly Hunter.
That's Holly Hunter.
Directed by Jodie Foster,
I believe.
Yep.
Great movie.
So you're done, Dan?
Yeah.
You had such a good run.
I don't...
I kept moving.
Man, I think that's it.
It wasn't bad.
Thanks, buddy. There's, you know,'s it. It wasn't bad. Thanks, buddy.
There's probably 75 movies
still on the table. There's a ton more.
Yeah, but you know,
it's alright. Bree?
Vanilla Sky. There you go.
Great pull.
How about
Oh, shit.
What was that one call where she was all like...
I know who you're talking about, and I don't know it.
What happens in Vegas?
Shrek the Third.
Yes!
Yes, it got back around.
That one is dangling.
I even asked which one you were talking about earlier
just to set somebody up for Shrek the third.
Brie?
Shrek 2, Return to the Swamp.
Why is someone saying yes to that?
Because she really wants to support me.
Yeah, but I don't think they go that...
I don't think any of their Struck titles are that long.
You know, Sam is shaking his head.
Yeah, I mean, Back to the Swamp sounded good,
but that might have been more like a tagline
than the actual title.
Yeah.
I don't think that was in there.
So do you want to rephrase?
Forrest Gump 2? Forrest Gump 2?
Forrest Gump 2 is still running.
Jenny's Revenge?
He's on vacation.
Phil, what do you got, honey?
Oh, she's going to film.
The Faculty.
The Faculty.
With Jon Stewart?
Yeah.
Were you just quoting Beverly Hills Cop?
No.
Never mind.
Why?
What did she say?
She said the words, he's on vacation.
That was from Forrest Gump?
No, but, well, all right.
The way that you said it was very indicative of, I'm on vacation, which is what Eddie Murphy
says many times to Ronnie Cox in the movie.
Thanks, guys. I'll see you myself.
Don't you dare. This is gold.
He says that to Bogomil?
He does. He says it to Bogomil and Rosewood.
Are you guys just saying
Harry Potter characters?
Yeah, don't worry about it,
muggle.
Okay, so who's...
Is Bree?
I said the faculty, because Phil helped. Oh, yeah, yeah, Phil helped you out. Okay, so who's starting? Is Bree? I said the faculty
because Phil helped.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Phil helped you out.
Okay, I don't have
a lifeline,
but I'm going to
come up with
something good.
You know,
I've been
to a lot of cities,
but I have to say
that Brea is really
one of the places
in my heart.
Yeah, I don't even know where the title
was in that. Just the last
words. Okay, awesome.
Yeah.
Oh, is it on me?
I think so. Dogma.
I'm still out.
Yeah, you're still out? Yep.
We'll check back with you every time, though.
Bree? I just remembered that
I have for sure been on your podcast before and gotten Salma Hayek before.
And I don't remember anything because I remember missing Dogma.
Like a fool.
Yeah, right.
I'm out.
I got nothing.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Shrek 2.
She won.
Yeah.
Is it Shrek 2? That's what I was trying to get you to do earlier. It's just called Shrek 2. And won. Yeah. Is it Shrek 2?
That's what I was trying to get you to do earlier.
It's just called Shrek 2.
And then you did it.
Well, I was doing a bit, but is it okay?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm still in it.
You're still in.
Just when you thought that you were out.
Yeah.
Sam?
No.
Wait, don't.
Wait, what did you say?
I'm quoting movies. I didn't say anything. I didn't care. That's great. Shrek 2. It works. Wait, don't. No. Wait, what did you say? I'm quoting movies
and Sam doesn't even care.
That's great.
Shrek 2, it works.
Oh, okay.
But did she say it?
What did you say
after I said
Places in the Heart?
Oh, I said Dogma.
Oh, okay.
And then I said
I'm still out.
Yeah, we got that.
We got that part.
Then I quoted a movie
and Sam didn't give me
credit for it.
I didn't hear it.
It's fine.
Dang, I didn't hear it. It's fine. Dang, I didn't hear it.
It's fine.
Was it Forrest Gump again?
No.
So Sally Field, when she won the Oscar for Places in the Heart,
she said, you like me, you really like me,
because she had won previously for Norma Rae.
Norma Rae.
Unions, go unions
Sam
I for an I
Kiefer Sutherland plays a very bad guy
in that movie
I'm still out
and now I'm really out
and that's the title
it's official
it's official that she's out so I'm really out. And that's the title. It's official. It's official that she's out.
Okay.
So I'm going to say I'm going to go with so many rom-coms and crazy things going through my head.
But I can't.
You can see him over there.
How many you got in your pocket? He's got so many. I don't. Look at Sam over there. How many you got in your pocket?
He's got so many.
I don't know.
There's so many names.
You got four.
You got four in your pocket.
He's got a million.
Also, did Cameron Diaz just stop making movies?
Yes, she did.
Wow, that's wild.
Oh, man. oh man
Shrek Forever After
we said it
Shrek the third I apologize
oh Shrek 2
we said it
I said it
she's been in other...
All of them have probably done animated voices.
I know, I always guess the hedge.
I'm not...
Oh, did you think of another one, Bree?
Yeah.
Okay, we'll check in with you in a second.
Let me see if I can squeak out one more.
But I don't know.
I'm really...
I'm trying to think of the name of that Selma Hayek movie that I just saw
that's got Owen Wilson in it.
I want to say Upload or Upgrade.
Something like that, but I don't think it's either of those.
So I'm going to tap, I think.
So I won?
Yeah, isn't that wild?
Yeah, dude. Isn't that crazy? isn't that wild? yeah dude
isn't that crazy?
yeah dude
how'd that happen?
Sam?
did we say Spy Kids at all?
we did the first one
the first one
Spy Kids 2
Spy Kids 3D
The Other Woman
was she in
Shark Girl and Lava Boy?
oh I don't know
which I got wrong
Shark Boy and Lava Girl
My Sister's Keeper
right that movie that Sister's Keeper Girl? My Sister's Keeper. Right, that movie.
That Sister's Keeper movie
is crazy.
Have you seen it? Yes, I have.
Yeah, it's really
an intense movie because
it's a really hard
argument that comes
up in that movie. Plus, you have to
see Alec Baldwin.
What's the Cameron Diaz
maybe we said it for so forgive me if I didn't match it up my head where she's like she's trying
to be like frumpy and like long though being John Malkovich yeah that is right oh we didn't say Annie
right Blanny yeah Blanny yeah no we're canceled uh yeah I uh I think there's a few more Sally Field movies.
One or two more Sally Field movies
we probably skipped over.
There's lots of them, but I'm just totally blanking.
Me too.
Soap Dish.
Oh, that was one of my punchlines.
You win. Which one?
Sybil's TV series.
TV miniseries.
Oh, they did the movie.
We said Smokey and the Bandit.
Smokey and the Bandit's a great one for Sally.
Gidget is a TV show.
Why do you think TV shows?
Smokey and the Bandit.
That's what I just, what's happening?
I was just having a Smokey and the Bandit conversation
into my microphone.
He said it into his microphone before that.
Before, and then, why didn't you?
We did.
Well, you did it later.
You waited. We're doing a bit on a bit
on a bit. Yeah, but
when I'm talking,
why is it going?
I'm talking to a person.
We're back, baby.
Yeah, we're doing it. It's live.
So
exciting.
Yeah, so it's official.
Sam Levine, everybody predicted it.
I can't believe it.
He did it.
Congratulations.
What would you like to plug, Sam?
You know, I'm on Cameo.
And I'm having a lot of fun on Cameo.
And I'm trying to fill a niche market on Cameo. A lot of times
people have bad news that they have to deliver to someone. I'm leaving you,
you're fired, get yourself tested, whatever it is. I want to dump somebody for somebody on Cameo.
So I say forget about doing it yourself, that's embarrassing. I am a professional
actor, I will fake your sincerity for you.
So for a
very reasonable price,
I will tell anyone
whatever kind of bad news you have to deliver.
I will make it sound sincere
that you are genuinely
sorry about it and let's
just all move on with our lives and don't bother
contacting you anymore because that
ship has set sail.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's great.
Thanks.
That's like the new notes app apology.
I could also do like, you know, birthday wishes and Father's Day crap, but this will be so much more fun for me.
Have you done one of those yet?
I have done two.
What were the contacts?
They were both marked private, so I can't say much,
because, you know, they're not public ones,
but both of them were fellas apologizing to their significant others.
One person did not tell me how he messed up.
The other person did.
Again, it is private.
I cannot go into details, but I apologized on behalf of both of them,
and one of them said he did respond and say that his lady
is a fan of mine and she really
dug it and she's giving him another
chance.
And it was because of mine.
How'd that other one end up? Suicide?
Did?
Probably. I'm going to be honest.
Probably. Murder-suicide.
Probably. Oh no!
Wow! So suicide's okay but murder-suicide probably. Oh, no! Wow, so suicide's
okay, but murder-suicide's not?
No, that's just
terrible. Such an
interesting line. Just don't
kill anybody else.
Benny? If you have to take
your own life,
nobody...
There's people out there to help. Call a
hotline if you're thinking those thoughts.
Dude.
Yes, that is true.
Yeah.
We don't joke around about that shit anymore.
No.
All right.
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to put these rolling papers.
I'm going to set them up so that people can just come and take some.
And, you know, take more than one if you want, once the show is over. Or maybe after
the theme song plays, I'll chuck some
into the crowd, and that way the
people listening don't have to
deal with it.
Plugs, Dan?
So I just announced the tour, as I said. Thanks for letting me
say that earlier. DanielVanKirk.com
38 cities.
More will be added. If you don't see
your city on there, hit me up. Or just go to your
local comedy venue and be like, what the hell, guys?
Daniel Van Kirk? So, go to
Daniel Van Kirk for all those dates. Also, I still
do some digital shows. I do a pub
trivia show. That's next Wednesday.
Thank you.
Whatever date. So,
that's probably like the 16th. And then on the 23rd,
I do bingo digital
shows. And we also raise money for No Kill Animal Shelters, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, and Food Bank.
So if you win bingo, you get to choose your city or maybe a city you used to live in.
And you can pick one of those three organizations for money to be donated to as well.
It's a lot of fun.
All that stuff is at DanielVanKirk.com.
And if you get dumped via Cameo and you want to ask that person to take you back, you can find me
on there. Nice.
Nice. You want to go
50-50 on this? Yes. Alright.
It's part of the system.
I'm on Cameo as well and I just want
to put it out there that the last
thing I want to do is anything
involving sincerity and
breaking up with someone or getting
somebody back.
I just want ones where it's like, my boyfriend thinks you're funny.
Can you do a bong rip and then make a fart noise?
I'll be happy to do that.
Brie Pruitt, thank you so much for being here.
What do you have to learn? Oh, my great pleasure.
I have a podcast that comes out every week.
It's called You Can Do It With Brie Pruitt.
I bring on a comedian.
I give him a little pep talk about something that's hard.
It's the most sincere. It's the You Can Do It With Brie Pruitt. I bring on a comedian. I give him a little pep talk about something that's hard. It's the most sincere.
It's the opposite of Doug's cameo.
So you should check it out
if you like that kind of shit.
You Can Do It With Brie Pruitt?
I love that title. That's great.
Alright. And get that
wherever you get podcasts. Like wherever you
got this that you're listening to now,
that's probably there as well.
Along with all the many
podcasts that Dan is involved
with.
And Sam, of course, is my
manager.
I'm on his team on
the Schmodown. Yeah, the movie trivia
Schmodown. Oh yeah, some people
know. You guys know. For the rest of you who don't know,
clearly you like movies.
Movie, trivia, schmodown.
Look it up. Boy, there's a whole library
of fun stuff for you to watch. Yeah, and I've got
my first match is coming up.
Yeah.
On there. I don't know if it'll all
happen by the time this comes out or not, but
just look for it by
name. Schmodown.
Yeah, and I probably have another plug
as well. Oh, I'm doing stand-up
with my friend
Sean Jordan at
the Tacoma Comedy Club
on Sunday, July 11th.
And this is a fun one because
he's got a baby due any
day now. Wow, he's bringing the baby?
Yeah, well,
she's just going to stay at home and he's going
to drive to Tacoma with the baby.
No, he's going to come to the show, but it's like a week after the baby's born.
So I'm feeling like maybe he'll not want to be separated from his brand new baby to go to Tacoma, but we'll see.
We'll see what happens.
Follow you on social media for updates.
He says he's going to be there.
I'm not even updating.
what happens. Follow you on social media for updates. He says he's going to be there.
I'm not even updating. I'm just saying,
Sean Jordan is my support act,
but I'm telling people that don't be
disappointed if he's
caring for his baby.
Fair enough.
Babies are so cool to get you out of stuff.
Oh shit, that reminds me.
I left a baby in the car.
Again?
It got out the last time.
It got out.
I would like to thank the Brea Improv for hosting,
having us for our very first show back.
And all of you
for coming out because
you know, lots of reasons not to
and I really appreciate
it. And one more
time for all of my guests,
Sam Levine, Dan Van
Kurt, and
Bree Pruitt.
Let's hear from this guy
one more time.
Ta-da!
As always.
Positive energy.
Oh, positive energy. That's nice.
That's nice, but that's not what I
say now.
Now you won't know what I'm going to say,
because at the end of every show,
I'll say the last line from a different motion picture,
and I won't even tell you what movie it's from.
It's a fun little game you can play yourself or disregard.
As always, well, here's to evolution.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you,
because Doug loves movies.
But also, let's, uh, thank you so much, everybody.
Let's throw these into the crowd, you guys.