Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine, Bryan Miller and Beth Stelling guest
Episode Date: September 21, 2020Doug welcomes Samm Levine, Bryan Miller and Beth Stelling to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to&nbs...p;stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky, maybe sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love Mamma Mia!
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you once again from the sequel to the book of eli
with another homes alone edition it's sunday september 20th 2020 whoa 2020 20 and my guests
today all have perfect vision i don't know if that's true please welcome quietly in
your own homes Sam Levine Brian Miller and Beth
Stelling yeah all here all three of you here let's meet let's meet them
individually not alphabetically because for some reason I book women on this
show who seem to always be alphabetically last for some reason i book women on this show who seem to always be
alphabetically last and that just doesn't feel right so let's let's say hi to her first this
time hi best telling hello so happy to be here happy sunday oh happy sunday and uh
everybody's raving about your special on HBO Max.
Hello. It's called Girl Daddy. Get that free trial in. Watch it.
Leave it streaming.
So much, so much positivity around that, that special.
I can't wait to watch it.
I'll send you the private link if you need it, Doug.
Oh, I love that because HBO Max is exclusively for people named Max, right?
That's true.
So I can't get it.
No, unless you want to legally change your name, but I like Doug.
I'm glad you do.
I've got, I slapped it on a few podcasts.
So I've got to.
You're kind of locked into Doug.
But yeah, thank you for being here with us today.
Also joining us.
Have you two comedians met?
It's Brian Miller.
Hey, Brian Miller.
Hey, Doug.
How's it going?
And I don't know if Beth and I have actually met.
We both are good pals with Cy Amundsen.
I love Cy.
I'm not entirely convinced by that delivery
let me take it again
I love Psy
there it is alright second pass was strong
yeah
that voice sounded like Psy
was being charged
Brian Miller of course is a Minneapolis comedy phenom. We were supposed to
work together at the Acme Comedy Club there in Minneapolis a couple of months back, but
things were still, you know, too intense for me personally especially also because you know
clubs have to do uh you know more limited seating so also just it gets to a point where like you
know uh money wise it doesn't even doesn't make sense 26 shows dad i'm gonna i'm gonna do
yeah i mean that's the fun thing is i saw somebody, like, they were promoting some comedian over a weekend saying, all eight shows sold out.
And I'm like, yeah, because, you know, you're at 25% capacity.
It's a ridiculous thing.
Exactly.
Yeah, so it gives you opportunities to say you're selling out, but the rooms are small.
Have you done stand-up at Acme,
Brian?
Yeah. Um, they got a pretty great setup. They're doing,
they're doing about as well as any place I've seen, uh,
with the restrictions and they've, they've got a good setup, but I think,
so I think they seats like 75 or 80 people, uh, which is still,
it still feels pretty good. And when they get, you know, half or half or more of
that full.
Yeah. And it's, I mean, it's great for,
there's such a comedy scene in Minneapolis.
I'm so glad that some places open, you know,
for comedians to continue to do their thing.
But I just don't know about,
just don't know if traveling around doing comedy is really, you know,
smart right now.
Oh yeah. Region wise wise plus there's no
reason to pay to i mean staying in a hotel is kind of weird have you stayed in a hotel since
all this started i have a few times i've done a couple of staycations in california like i got
the brilliant i mean i can't get i can't tell you how proud of myself i am when i got the idea
to leave la on july 4th and go stay at a hotel in Orange County.
You probably saw it.
LA was just a fucking Blade Runner hellscape of explosions.
And I was in Irvine where I didn't, I swear to you,
on the 4th of July, I did not hear one firecracker the entire night.
Any gunshots though?
No, I mean, I don't know if you've been to Irvine, but it's all,
it's all concrete and hedges and corporate buildings.
I don't think anybody lives there. Like if you run out of gas in Irvine,
you're going to, you're going to walk, you're going to you've got to walk somewhere and get a can and go through all that.
Or go to Weber Grill.
I can only think of two gas stations in the city of Irvine.
And I've driven all over that city because, you know, the Irvine Improv has been in several different spots there for many years.
been in several different spots there for many years. But I have to introduce our third guest today who is coming in to basically help me out because we had a fallout this morning.
Someone that was booked to do the show today couldn't make it for, you know, when somebody
says to me, oh, I'm sorry, I just, you know, right now it's just I can't, you know i when somebody says to me oh i'm sorry i just you know right now it's just i can't
you know it's you don't need to make any excuses all you have to just say is i i can't do it right
now that's nice of you yeah well not that he's listening right now but i'm just i still i don't
want to throw anybody under under anything was it ruth baderader Ginsburg? I almost made that joke. I was just like, I don't
know if that's good. I mean, in this room between the four of us, I'm sure it's fine. But people are
really, you know, it's really a big deal that she is. Yes, it's very big deal. I mean, it's probably the most impactful death of an individual in my lifetime
in terms of that it causes immediate change in the world.
Outside of Michael Jackson, yeah.
Yeah, that is another great example.
But filling in today, not filling in, he's just a a guest it's sam the ma'am levine everybody
thank you what an intro oh that's going on my reel people love to be uh they love the host to
get sidetracked during the intro there's nothing better than standing around wondering when they're just gonna say
but yeah thank you for being here dude and um for responding to the call because what i did was i
took to twitter because now they got this great thing on twitter where you can just click on
only people you follow can respond so i don't have to see any joke answers from people about how they're willing
to be on Douglas movies today.
I can only hear from people I already follow on Twitter.
So I just threw it out there to people I follow. And, uh, and then, you know,
Sam, of course was the first one to hit me up,
but I got a couple of great new guests coming up in the next few weeks because
I met them over twitter
looking for somebody today oh yeah yeah so great great uh ending to that story i mean it's not
satisfying to the listener person but for me it all worked out great how are you doing sam are
you going back to production anywhere are Are you acting in anything during this?
As a matter of fact, yes, I acted last weekend. I was on my very first set since COVID started.
And it was it was a surreal experience because we shot on location in this house in the city of Los Angeles.
And the only people allowed in the room when we were shooting were me,
the other actor, the camera operator, and the boom operator.
Welcome to the adult film industry.
And that is pretty much what it felt like.
And they wanted me and this actress to keep our masks on while we were rehearsing with the
director and i was like i i get that we have to play it safe but this is now affecting our ability
to read each other's reactions yeah and also i mean if you're gonna spit on each other you're
gonna spit on each other like it's rehearsal and then do the scene you're still you're still doing the scene with no masks exactly and also we had both gone
through multiple days in a row of being tested for covid leading up to uh production including
the morning of like i got there and they they made me sit in my car i got my test on set and
they made me sit in my car and then i had to wait for a text
to come in to say okay your test came back negative you're you're okay to work i'm sure
that's not just how they prefer to deal with you you know what you might be right i'm a bit of a
problem on set i've been told they really wanted you to test positive so bad
they had an understudy there actually is that a thing really they really did they had an actor
ready to take over if i tested positive yeah the definition of you can be replaced absolutely
did he look devastated?
I don't know.
I never got to meet him.
Oh, right.
He was in his car, I guess.
Yeah.
It was like those COVID droplets didn't work.
He's clean.
I was there another like 12 hours.
I want to know if that guy got paid.
I want his job.
Yeah.
Yeah, he just got to sit in his car.
He got released as soon as I tested negative, so.
Do you think he learned the lines also?
I believe that he did.
I believe he had to be ready to go.
But there was no understudy for the lady part?
There was.
There was.
And she also got sent home.
Yeah.
They both, but that's, I didn't even think that they would
do that. Like, why
is it so important to get this?
What kind of show was this?
Wait, we just assume
you're working on unimportant projects?
It was porn, Doug.
It was a porn show.
Does that mean somebody else is going to be Batman?
Did Pattinson's understudy, like like get the biggest green light of all time?
It was a, I believe Doug, it actually was a commercial.
Oh, okay.
So once you're shooting the scene,
like were you six feet apart from each other in the scene or did you get,
no, there were scenes,
there were moments in the scene where we were right next to each other and so it was very silly to be like okay
well now we need you guys to put your masks on i was like you've tested us me personally three days
in a row my test from six hours ago was was negative what either i have covid or i don't
right i think we've established i don't can I keep my mask off while I'm trying to
rehearse with the other actors? Thank you.
Yeah, and you're not
bringing it back to anybody if
you did happen to catch it that
day. Exactly.
So, I don't know. It was a little
frustrating, but I guess
if that's what it takes to get
production back and going
again, then.
That's the other thing is on the other side of that, there's probably scary productions happening in cities where they don't have
any restrictions regarding COVID like California is very strict.
Right.
They might be shooting and the actors might be cared for their lives and
throwing their masks on every chance they get, you know?
Yeah, they might be. I mean, it is, it's a SAG thing. So,
but there's certainly plenty of non-union stuff going on right now.
There certainly is. Okay. Well, thank you for that.
You know, that report, that Hollywood report.
My pleasure, the Hollywood report with Sam. Yep.
What was the commercial for?
Was it for masks?
No, I feel terrible.
I did actually have to sign an NDA, so I don't know that I'm allowed to talk about it.
But I can just say it was for something sweet.
Ooh.
Now, when you sign an NDA, say you an NDA saying you're not going to give away
the sweet sweet product
is that NDA cover anything else
like were they allowed to sexually harass you too
oh they definitely did
have any of you
been to the movies in a cinema in the last week or two since they've
been sort of opening up again yeah i feel bad about it but i did what'd you do where'd you go
well i went to the theater by my house to see tenant because you can because you have to buy
tickets uh specific seats you can see if any of the seats have been filled so I just waited until like 10 minutes before the movie and no one was in the
theater. It was empty. So I bought a ticket to that.
And then one other guy came in and you just sat really far apart from each
other. And it still felt weird. We still kind of eyed each other a little bit,
but you know, I think he had the same thought.
He thought he was going to be solo too. Yeah.
But you were able to, therefore you could sit there without a mask on
or did you wear one because of the other guy i wore one i wore one just in general because like
that i guess the theater employees have been in there or something you know well that's nice
because i just as soon as i see nobody else is around or everybody's far away from me i feel
like that's when the mask can come off but i wore it and it still didn't seem like a great idea by the end to be honest but
you know i give it a whirl and how'd you like the movie um i i don't think it makes sense
yeah that's what i figured i mean like like you know how you think inception kind of makes sense
when you're watching it and then you think about it and it doesn't this never even gets that level
you know like no i don't think this makes sense
the whole time, but John David Washington
is a very good actor and I'm gonna root for him
to punch people.
That's where you have to just follow that part.
It seems a little more action-y actually than Inception.
Like he's totally given up on trying to make it romantic
or anything.
Yeah, there's very little of that.
It's pretty much, yeah, I don't know,
I don't know, spoilers for any tenant people, but my favorite part of those at the very beginning, they're like, we can't even tell you the premise of this. It's so complicated. We can only say they were tenant because you'll go insane if you find out what the premise is. And then like 20 minutes later, you just find out what the premise is. And you're like, I'm, I'm, I got it. It's not that hard to hold in your head. You know, I was not driven mad. Like the Matrix.
Yeah, it's like some sort of H.P. Lovecraft fifth dimension or something.
But no, I got it.
Stuff's going backwards.
I got it.
It's a time travel movie.
It's not a time travel movie, dude.
It's a time inversion movie, yeah.
God, get it right.
It's made 4.7 this weekend.
get it right it's made 4.7 this weekend and uh so a total of 36 million for three weeks which is ouch that is uh the biggest movie in the land has only made 36 million in three weeks
yeah it's quite a shame what would it what would it normally make 200 million yeah in three weeks like brian what do you think is
do you think it's enough of a crowd pleaser that it would do that kind of business
no actually i think it would have been actually a little bit of a domestic disappointment but
it's doing well in the foreign box office i think would have made like 150 200 million like full run um the people who like it are gonna go see it
multiple times because you have to to trick yourself into thinking it makes sense
yeah i just when people are like i i already you know don't want to see that movie just because
if i don't like it which seems likely
uh then people are going to tell me that i didn't watch it right or that you know
you know or that there's this you know there's several books that you should probably read first
or something and it's like i just uh i don't want to put that kind of effort into trying to force
myself into liking something i used to do that like with uh when avatar came out and everybody went crazy for it i was a detractor
and uh saw it a couple more times just to try to wrap my head around why people love it so much
it turns out they love it because people don't have good taste
you know they don't have they don't know interesting characters when they see them.
Cause there's not a single one in Avatar.
Yeah. People eat at Applebee's too. You know, it's a, it's all.
That's the problem is Applebee's isn't one of mine, but I do,
there are several chain restaurants that people speak of in those tones.
And I, I love them. I think they're so good. But that's what it all comes down to, I guess,
is personal taste. The box
office for the rest of
the movies was just dismal. In second
place was The New Mutants
with 1.6 million.
The total is 17.7.
Everybody's disappointed by that,
even people that think it looks good.
Have you heard of this movie called Infidel?
No.
It's number three.
It sounds judgmental.
North American box office, number three this last weekend is called Infidel,
and I don't even know what that is.
Russell Crowe is still unhinged at number four.
That movie wouldn't have been in the top five for as long as it's been
if it came out during normal times.
And SpongeBob, the latest SpongeBob movie, soaked up only $210,000.
Yeah, so the box offices are hurting.
If you can go see movies, I say go for it in the safest way
the um our buddy jeff tate he went and saw tenant at a theater in cincinnati where they just let you
buy the theater and then you have uh you know seven or eight friends uh come watch the movie
and you all socially distance from each other that's fun
i did that what's that i did that but i i just stopped myself because the truth is i did that
but we watched my special it was like a fun little premiere you know what i mean it's cool i love
that yeah because i didn't get you otherwise i you know i don't know how to figure out HBO Max.
I don't know what's going on.
All these streaming services now, they're just really getting – it's all so confusing.
Yeah.
I just love it just because there's more opportunities to, you know, make shows and to see interesting shows and certainly more diverse ones.
But speaking of diversity, our first game today, this is kind of awkward because Sam has already played this game.
Uh-oh.
And probably isn't a huge fan of it either.
and probably isn't a huge fan of it either.
But I'm excited to see how Brian and Beth fare in a little bit of something I call Hanks a lot.
How many Tom Hanks movies do you think you can name in 30 seconds? It's a question I'm going to put
to all of you, but I'm starting with Beth. Okay. Tom Hanks movies. And please don't, you know,
we can't see you use your computer or any kind of reference book. I promise I won't.
any kind of reference book.
I promise I won't.
We're all in the honor system.
How many do you think you can name in just 30 seconds?
I feel like, you know, I have a lot of excuses,
but I feel like just in general,
having my phone and being alone so much has ruined my brain.
And I'm not even going to aim high here.
I genuinely think five you've got 30 seconds okay right now right now and you'd come up with five tom hanks movies okay are you gonna count me down or no no no we're not doing it right
now i'm just saying i'm just saying that's your bid yeah i mean i know that's low but i'm like
i'm over here just trying to think of the one that's called that's very bid yeah i mean i know that's low but i'm like i'm over here just trying
to think of the one that's called that's very popular with the wilson ball i'm scared okay so
yeah five yeah i don't uh you know i don't blame you for being scared it's a it's it's a tricky
challenge it's a lot for me to just throw at you.
And I promise not to Google.
Now, the question is, Brian.
Yeah.
Do you think you can name more than Beth just said?
And if so, how many more?
I think I can do 15.
15.
Okay.
Now, Sam just played this game the last time he was on the show well i didn't actually
get to play i said a number and then you talked me off of it yeah you played in the sense you
were there and then jeff tate ended up getting 21 movies whoa yeah but my original bid was like 22 or 23,
right? I think so. I think you said
23 and I freaked out because I
thought that's not possible.
Right. And then Jeff ended
up being challenged with
15. Right.
And then managed to get 21.
Yeah. So
that being the case, I would
like to once again, bid 23.
Oh, this is exciting.
Now it comes back over to you, Beth.
Okay.
You think you can do more than 23?
A hundred percent zero. No, there's zero chance I can do that.
Okay. So all you have to do.
I'm more like, I'll describe them and you tell me the title yeah that's a fun game too but that's uh it's a different game we'll do that okay well
yeah it's fun they they have uh uh chemda doesn't know any it doesn't know anything about movies or
actors so she describes trailers while her friend ke and, and his competitor try to guess what movie she's talking about.
It's just the trailer. So it's just like three,
you just basically have like three minutes to figure out what the hell she's
talking about, but she even gets actors wrong. She's like,
I think that's Matthew McConaughey and it'll be, you know, somebody else.
And so it's, it's a real fun game.
I got to do it last week, and I want a rematch
because I think I can beat him at it.
Anyway.
So, okay, so that's all you got to do, Beth, is just challenge Sam,
and if he can't get it in 23, if he can't get 23 names,
then you win this game.
Oh, great.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's that easy.
I'm trying to make it easy for people.
So, Sam, I'm going to get the clock ready.
Okay.
Wait, I've been challenged, I guess.
Yeah, I think she did.
I challenge you.
But here's the thing.
Shouldn't I go first?
Because then I can just name his five.
What? No. Wait, the challenge is if he can't first? Because then I can just name his five. What?
No.
The challenge is if he can't get it, I just win.
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
Perfect.
It's just a bidding game.
And, you know, if you or Brian had, you know,
been confident enough to bid high, then, you know,
then Sam would have had to figure out what to do.
But he's still excited about 23, as am am i i'm very excited to give this a shot
yeah but i also forgot to tell you about that the thing you have to say to sam is you're the captain
now you are you're the captain now that makes it official all right here we go so I'm putting 30 seconds on the clock and you start
Sam when I say you've got
mail and your time is up when I say splash
got it
oh
alright
mostly this game exists just for all that part
where I just say the things I'm going to say
that are from Tom Hanks movies
you got mail where I just say the things that I'm going to say that are from Tom Hanks' movies.
You got mail.
You've got mail.
Splash, Dragnet, Forest Gump, Nothing in Common,
The Money Pit, Volunteers, Big, Philadelphia,
Toy Story 1, Toy Story 2, Toy Story 3, Toy Story 4, Catch Me If You Can, The Terminal, Charlie Wilson's War, Angels and Demons, Inferno, Da Vinci Code, Larry Crown, Extremely Loud, Incredibly Close, Polar Express, Road to Perdition, Lady Killer.
So Lady Killer doesn't count.
He was going so fast. fast yeah that was really good how many how
many did you count brian i wasn't even counting i i was amazed he was seemed to be going reverse
sequentially you know the hard ones you larry crown that's a deep pull that's the only one i
knew rami malik doesn't even know that movie exists and he was the third build
i'm just gonna say the one where he rides a moped with julia roberts one I knew. Rami Malek doesn't even know that movie exists and he was the third build.
I was just going to say the one where he rides a moped
with Julia Roberts.
Alright, well we're going to have to go back to the tape
on that one because Sam was going so fast
that I couldn't keep track.
It feels like you got there. Do you feel
like you got there? I don't.
I have no idea.
Producer Ryan jumping in.
I was keeping count. And if my Ryan jumping in. I was keeping count.
And if my count's accurate, it was exactly 23.
No!
You're kidding me.
You forgot the one where Wilson is the ball.
Oh, castaway.
Yeah, I definitely didn't say castaway.
We should definitely, Ryan, definitely do that every time.
Keep track.
I like that. Thank you for every time. Keep track like that.
That was, thank you for doing that.
I was trying to, but I, and then, you know, when Jeff did it last time,
we all, we all guessed what the number was and we all,
we were all sort of keeping track.
23. All right.
So we got a new record of 23.
Oh, wow.
I'm so excited.
Cause I'm going to see the thing is, is, you know,
I don't blame them for
this but people that come on the show they don't listen to it first generally so uh i'm just going
to spring this tom hanks game on everybody and and the listeners just get to hear different people
having to deal with it and um we'll see if anybody can do more than 23 sam i think that record might
stand for a minute i think so too because i really it's not that I didn't believe in you, Sam.
It's just like you were going as fast as you could.
And it still felt like there's no way he just said 23 movie titles.
Right. I was just sitting here with my eyes closed,
trying to visualize every Tom Hanks movie on a giant page.
And I was just sort of like,
like imagining literally like all his movie posters on a giant poster and
then just like picking them off.
Whack-a-mole style.
You only lost a little time.
I like knowing the process.
I think you only lost time by saying extremely loud and incredibly close,
which is like five titles.
That's true.
I should not have said that.
I didn't even know that said that big i was like
big say big it's three letters get all those tiny ones fuck those oh man and those league of their
own so you got to go with the short ones i know i know i just you know what it was i felt like i
had a game plan in my head and then for some stupid reason as as soon as you said Splash and You've Got Mail, I don't know why.
I was like, oh, I'll just start with those.
And then I completely lost all like the first eight titles I wanted to say out loud.
And then I was just sort of grasping.
Yeah, I feel like just giving you a couple of titles right before you start is actually more of a distraction than a help.
Yeah, it kind of threw me off because I remember last time I wanted to start with
Toy Story and I, I think I forgot this time to do that.
When you saw all of those in a row.
Toy Story 4.
Yeah.
That was incredible.
Almost a turn on, you know?
Almost.
Yeah.
What a turn off.
Sexy.
Turn offs, Republicans.
Turn ons, people who can say all four Toy Story movie titles in four seconds.
Next time, if you play this again sometime, Sam, you should tack on,
you should just throw Cars in there because he, Woody,
there's a Woody doll at one point in the movie, Cars.
I did not even realize that. All right. I'll tack on cars.
One, two, three, four cars.
All right. Great job, Sam. That means you're going to get,
go first in our, our next game.
I don't know if it's a game you've even played before,
but we're going to play that game after this commercial break we will be right back we are back
i'm still on cloud nine because of sam's 23 tom hanks movies very impressive i can't i i'm gonna
first thing i'm gonna do when we're done here is
text Jeff Tate the word suck
it.
Maybe you should rename
the game 23 and me.
Try to get Jim Carrey to play it?
He will not touch the number 23.
You know that.
I think he'll be great He will not touch the number 23. You know that. It's that number for life.
I think he'll be great playing Joe Biden,
but I also feel like do we really need someone to show us all of Biden's
weaknesses and sketches leading up to the most important election ever?
What?
Hello?
No.
Yeah. I mean,
I think it'll be so zany that it won't even be reflective
of biden it'll be just like a fire marshal bill i i hope so but i feel like he's just gonna make
biden look grotesque and uh and you know just saturday night live brought down gerald ford
as president when chevy chase kept making fun of him damn that was the beginning of the end for him yeah and they stumbled twice and then chevy chase
would fall down every week and say i'm the president and just fall on his face not good
and not to mention um they don't make trump look bad enough with alec. It should have been Anthony
and Tantmanek.
That would have been real.
At first, I was pro-Baldwin doing it
because I knew that that really made
Trump angry, that a super famous
guy was just showing up every week.
Yeah, that's true.
But then after a while of that,
Alec Baldwin just sort of walks through it.
I don't feel like he's really finding new angles on the impression.
He's just doing what he does.
And the satire is harder to, it's less stinging because it's just, you know,
you're just getting used to it.
What about lesser Baldwin played Biden, like a Stephen or a William?
Oh my God. Like Stephen Baldwin as Biden would be,
that would have been so funny.
I mean, it doesn't make any sense at all. They're like,
both of them would actually be playing their opposites politically probably,
but it's still, it's still fun to imagine. Okay.
So we're going to play a game we've been playing for a while now since the
zoom show started that I, I really enjoy playing.
It's called Weird Algorithm.
It's about the very strange way that the Internet Movie Database, IMDB,
their algorithm for popularity takes some odd turns so basically how this game works is when you
uh pick any movie and click on the cast on imdb or tv show this is dangerous sam if you want to
uh go down a deep hole of finding out how popular you are. No, I care not for this.
What you do is you click on a thing.
After you click on cast list, it'll say you can refine it based on popularity.
So you could change the cast list to everybody in order based on their popularity on IMDb at that moment when you look it up.
at that moment when you look it up.
So it's always changing and flowing,
and it's really strange what the results are.
Usually the top-billed person in a movie is not the most popular person in that movie, IMDb,
on that particular day.
So obviously news and, you know,
current hits and things that are people are talking about all that plays a
factor.
Cause I think it's mostly the search engine on IMDB determines who's the most
popular.
So I'm going to name a movie. Sam gets to go first.
Everyone's going to get a chance to go first. Cause we're going to name a movie. Sam gets to go first. Everyone's going to get a chance to go first.
Cause we're going to play three rounds. So it'll go Sam.
Then who should go second,
Brian and then Beth.
And in this first round,
I'll tell Sam the name of a movie and he gets to go first, but everybody, you
could share answers in this game, and it doesn't matter if you, you know, say out loud why
you're choosing whoever you're choosing, but I'll name a movie, and the idea is to just
guess who this top person is, popularity-wise, according to IMDB. That'll be worth three
points if you get the top person,
two points if you get the second-billed person,
and one point for the third-billed person.
I really hope it's Larry Crown.
Rami Malek.
Larry Crown, I think he'd be pretty safe to go Tom Hanks,
then Julia Roberts as the top two, but you never know.
You never know. Julia Roberts could sneak in there.
Yeah. Not to mention there could be a rush on Wilmer Valderrama.
Yes.
You never know.
Especially if he freaks out soon,
not a punk who's been taken over by someone else.
Who does this even help?
Whoever would want to look at the cast of a movie and have it be sorted by
whoever is the most popular person at that moment.
That person who's Googling themselves.
It does.
I'll tell you what it reveals for me is it quickly shows you when somebody
that's known for whatever they're, you know, they're,
they're a known person and they were you know had some tiny part
in a movie like it it unveils a lot of that like oh okay like you know one scene in in some movie
especially people that you don't really think about oh i probably saw that person a lot
like eric stone street you'd see him in stuff before Modern Family, but it didn't click until Modern Family. Now when he shows up
in Almost Famous... Like Almost Famous?
Yeah, exactly.
Jane Lynch is another one.
Oh, yeah. Oh, The Fugitive.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Oh, she's in The Fugitive?
Sure is.
She's the one who says the line to him, she's like,
not only did these all come from healthy
livers, they all came from the same
liver. And then he says, Catherine,
you're a beauty or something like that.
Or words to that effect. I don't know. I've
seen it once or twice.
I follow Chris Wood every
night.
It's Harrison Ford's number one and it's best
known for. Is it really? really well wow yeah i don't
know if he went in there you know and fixed it himself but his top four doesn't have any star
wars in it so it makes me feel like he did and by he you mean his people yeah people that know him
and you know i do not i cannot for one second imagine Harrison Ford.
No, he's just shouting at a close to a flock heart.
He's like, enter the door.
He doesn't.
When you're busy crashing planes, you can't look at IMDb.
I don't want it to say Star Wars.
That's why he's crashing.
That's why he crashed a plane.
Why does it say Star Wars?
I've done real movies Yeah what do you think
What do you think his top four is besides
The Fugitive Sam?
Oh god
Oh Harrison Ford
Besides Fugitive
Okay so if none of them
Are Star Wars I'll go with
one of, it's got to be one of the Indiana Jones.
So, I'll say
Raiders and
it's always something recent, so like
I don't know, Firewall and
What?
Maybe a Jack Ryan. Let's go
with Patriot games.
No, they went with a witness and air force one.
Oh, but it was right. Oh, okay.
But yeah,
fugitive Raiders witness and air force one really feels like Harrison Ford
going, wow, these were the ones, these were the,
these were the ones where I really got to act and they turned out good.
Nobody talks about witness.
Yeah.
Sam?
Who is top billed
in the motion picture called
Hocus Pocus?
Oh, wow.
So it is popularity.
Oh, man.
All right. First, man. All right.
First, I got to remind myself who's in it.
Okay, it's got to be one of the
three, so
I'll say
Sarah Jessica Barker.
One of the three
witches.
Yeah, she's got a lot of fans.
I'll go with SJP.
Okay.
What do you think, Brian?
I would say Bette Midler because she's on Twitter a lot right now.
You know?
She's very present.
She's taking it to them.
People got mad at her for something she said recently.
What did she say?
Well, it's just funny to me.
Now I can't remember what it was, but it's just so funny how that's how Democrats are.
Everybody starts arguing with each other.
You amongst yourselves.
Yeah.
She's talking shit to Trump all the time, but then somebody found some fault to have
in something she said to Trump
that was like, you know, sexist
or racist or something. I don't know.
Yeah, one time I
called him. Remember
when he posted about Washington's
fake fax checker?
And I said,
you're a fake fat
fucker. And somebody
wrote to me and was was like i'm a fan
of yours but i'm fat and it bothers me that you said that and i was like i don't know it's a
descriptor i've been fat too it would have been better if he was like i'm a fucker and i'm very
offended by this yeah i responded with a picture of myself at my fattest and i wrote i don't know if she thinks
it's funny and she goes well she may think it's funny but i don't i was like that's me
that's somebody has to stick up for fuckers
um what do you think do you think uh bet middler then that's uh your answer brian
yeah okay beth yeah i'm actually going bet middler as well because of this reason we're discussing
i love when this happens i love when we start off with one that gives everybody just a glaring
example of how silly this algorithm is.
I'm going to go all the way back to number seven,
just to get in the three main witches.
Oh my God.
Coming in at number seven, Kathy Najimy.
Number six, Bette Midler.
Whoa.
Right?
Number five,
someone named Jason Marsden.
Oh, yeah.
What the hell?
He's a very well-known
voice actor.
Is he brother?
No, they are
of no relation.
Jason was on
Boy Meets World
for a while.
He's been doing
voices for 20 years.
Yeah, he was the voice
of Thackeray Binks.
Whatever the hell that is.
Is that Jar Jar's brother?
I don't...
He's some character in...
I'm not really a hocus-pocus...
Head.
Aficionado.
Number four.
Sarah Jessica Parker.
Oh, I just got bounced out of the top three.
Yeah.
Nobody gets any points this round.
Because number three is an actress named Vanessa Shaw.
Oh.
She's wonderful.
She was in Eyes Wide Shut.
Yeah, and she's on Ray Donovan or has been recently. So I'm thinking that might have boosted her popularity.
And then number two doug jones oh from uh from the x yeah from from a million things he um wait
is that who i'm thinking of no he's no no no not all the turtle movies right every other monster
you pick the one monster but i think doug jones is he's you know he's uh shape of water
yeah uh oh that's what it is he was shape of water
last time i was on i love shape of water nobody else does anyway yeah that might that might have
boosted him and also he was a recently a guest on wide world of dougs and so i think that
is why he's that was it no he plays a character in uh hocus pocus is very fondly remembered by
everybody and they actually know his name it's billy butcherson and uh so i i feel like that's
why he's number two for hocus pocus because of that character being so popular. And then number one,
Thora Birch.
Oh, wow.
She's on Talking Dead.
What does she do?
She's on Talking Dead.
The Walking Dead.
I don't know if she's done the post
Walking Dead.
You want a Thora Birch fun fact, Doug?
I do.
She's exactly one day older than me
um i did stand up the first time i did stand up on jimmy kimmel live is when they would like they
were really into building a couch you know like having all the guests stay and so i had to do
stand-up comedy where if i glanced over if if I looked in my periphery on the right side
I had to see Thora Birch
and Slash
Oh my god
Very
distrusting
That feels like a game show for
comedians. Alright, do your set
do type 5 but
a former member of Guns
and Roses will always be just
off to the side judging you.
Let's go to the judges.
Thora, what did you think of Doug?
Duff?
Axel, what do you say?
All right.
That's a very
exciting start to this thing because
we've got two more rounds to go and uh nobody has any points
brian gets to go first this time this movie's been coming up a lot lately because of you know
how it turned out to be right about too many things uh the film is Idiocracy huh lots of interesting people in that
film who do you think
Brian Miller came in
at number one
on this chart
oof
it's probably
I'm gonna say Terry
Cruz
but I feel like it could be
the lady.
I don't know if I want to give it. Maya Rudolph. Everyone knows
Maya Rudolph's in that, right? Is it either Terry Crews
or Maya Rudolph? I'm going to say Terry Crews.
He's in everything.
Yeah.
It's not Owen Wilson.
No offense, don't. Luke Wilson,
that is. Oh, I thought you were fucking with us. No, no, no. No, it's not Luke Wilson that is I thought you were fucking with us
no no no
it's not Luke Wilson
you're either messing with the other contestants or
I thought you were making a
Owen Wilson
joke
it's William Baldwin
there you go it's always Billy Baldwin
always
so he says Terry Crews, Beth.
What do you think?
I'm saying Maya Rudolph because she just won an Emmy
for
Big Mouth.
Oh.
Which she deserves.
You like that program?
Well, she's a freaking
she's so amazing as a puberty
monster.
I think she's great as that and pretty much everything she does.
I was watching last night on SNL, they re-ran an episode of the show where Janet Jackson was the host.
And, you know, so there was lots of tit jokes because she was not too long after the Super Bowl.
Probably her hosting was probably a PR move to make people relax about having seen one of her tits.
And so they had lots of jokes about it in the show.
But it's funny, in the opening sketch, she plays Condoleezza Rice, and she does a pretty good job.
It's funny.
But then later in the same episode on Weekend Update, Maya Rudolph comes out and plays Condoleezza rice and she does a pretty good job it's funny but then later
in the same episode on weekend update maya rudolph comes out and plays condoleezza rice
and i don't think i've ever seen that on snl like oh yeah i hosted this character but somebody else
on the show could do it better maybe maybe she was supposed to do it a second time and then got
scared like hated her performance the first time but i don't think so. I think that the, you know, weekend update desk,
you can't just throw a host in there and have them play a full character
and have them.
Yeah, I guess.
It's practically like a monologue, you know.
Oh, wow.
All right.
Yeah, so, but it was just funny to me that they, you know, did that.
But also, Maya's great at, she did a great condoleezza rice and also it is so weekend
update trips me out when it's from several years ago because a lot of the jokes are just like oh
man they just they just basically predicted you know awful future and they were sitting around
laughing about it at the time right like condoleezza Rice, the end of the bit with her
was something about how, I think, oh, man,
some political figure, she makes a joke about them
offering her the VP spot.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it's just like, oh, that didn't happen.
But you know what?
If there's going to be a conservative woman in the White House,
I'd take her over a lot of the stuff out there.
Even though she defends Bush too much.
Anyway, I'm sorry, listeners.
I didn't mean to bring politics into this.
But idiocracy is really, if you haven't seen it,
it might make you cry more than laugh at this point.
Yeah.
That movie is 15 years old.
Yeah.
Bums me out.
All right, Doug, I'm going to give you my name,
and I'm probably wrong,
but based on the way the top three were for Hocus Pocus,
I'm going to say it's none of the leads,
and I'll just pick basically the only one of the supporting
so I can think of clearly right now.
And it's a young man named Justin Wong.
I will go with him.
He's very popular.
Yeah.
Justin's people like him.
All right.
Oh, damn.
Should I have said Steven Root?
I don't know.
I'll go with Justin.
I'll go with Justin.
It was my first instinct.
I'll go with Justin.
Okay.
Sticking with Justin.
Maya. Beth picks Maya.
Yeah.
Brian's going with Terry Crews.
Coming in
at number seven
in the category of mediocrity,
Terry Crews. Oh!
Wow. Yeah. I was going to say,
Brian, I think he's all over the internet, but I think when
he speaks on the internet, he often gets a lot of blowback.
I thought that might help him, though, you know?
Yeah, I guess.
He's on some game shows and stuff.
Yeah, I don't know.
I feel like a lot of people have some real negative feelings about him right now,
even though, you know, he's very funny in that movie and on Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Sixth place was Sarah Rue,
the actress who plays,
I think she's like,
doesn't she end up being like VP or something in them?
Yeah, she's in the president's cabinet
or whatever.
Yeah, she's in the cabinet.
And then the aforementioned
Luke Wilson came in at five.
And number four,
Maya Rudolph.
Okay.
Yeah, so no points for that.
Three, Stephen Root.
That would have been... No oh i should have said it
no but you did uh you did yourself even one better because justin long came in at number two
wow oh wow yeah so that's two points for that and i you know i think he's uh up there because
he's got a popular podcast right now called uh life is long or something like that
life is short and then um number one and i'm happy for him i think he's great and he's great in the
movie dax shepard oh wow yeah how is he yeah i mean i like him but like what's he doing right
now that's got him at the top? Our general expert is his podcast.
He's a really popular pod.
Every crazy, huge, famous person he's ever interacted with seems to be happy to go on with him.
And, yeah, that podcast is huge.
All right, we've only got one minute left.
Sorry for taking up so much time with you.
Oh, my God.
Sam's got two points.
Brian andh are pointless
i've been told
doesn't seem right i agree who gets to go first this time beth does beth gets to go first
who do you think is number one in the cast of The Hateful Eight?
Oh,
I would love to tell you anyone in that movie.
Who's first in that?
Yeah.
Is Josh Brolin in that?
No, but
might as well be.
I know. Hateful Eight.
The other guys,
let's let them.
Oh, what's the guy from the vice principals?
Yeah. Walter Goggins.
Walter Goggins, maybe.
So who's number one?
I think it's Walton, like the Waltons.
Oh, Walton Goggins.
Yeah.
I like the way Sam was like, I think it's Walton.
You know, it's Walton.
Yeah, but I don't want to.
He was trying to be friendly about correcting me. I think it's Walton. You know it's Walton. Yeah, but I don't want to...
He was trying to be friendly about
correcting me.
That's okay.
Because Walton Goggins listens to this show
and I don't want him to feel like we didn't...
Well, he's very talented.
I just thought his name was...
I hate that he listens, but he refuses to come on.
Long-time listener, first-time caller.
We really got to go.
I'm saying Walton.
Okay. What do you think, Sam?
Samuel L. Jackson.
Brian.
Oh, Channing Tatum.
Oh, God, he's so hot.
Yeah, he's under the floorboard. Spoiler alert.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, Channing Tatum came in at number six.
Gah!
Walton Goggins.
Well, maybe Channing came in so late because he's hiding under the floor during a lot of the movie.
Walton Goggins came in fourth.
All right.
Third with Jennifer Jason Leigh.
Second, Sam Jackson.
Wow!
And number one, because his voice does done some narration quentin tarantino
oh my god that's ridiculous sam you win what do you got to plug um i i check out immortal on vod
but also uh watch the movie uh hot shots or hot shots part do,
which I just did.
And I think I'm going to have to start calling you tug Benson now.
Great movies.
Yep.
All right.
Sorry.
He's president.
I'm going to be at Acme comedy company on November 18th to the 21st.
And also if you like horror stories,
I've got a couple of horror stories out on the Drabblecast
and one in a book called Shadowy Natures.
So you can look those up on Amazon.
And Drabblecast is free.
Cool.
Shadowy Natures, it's okay.
Go to Hack Me if you're in Minneapolis or St. Paul or nearby.
Yes. Yes. And watch Girl. Paul or nearby. Yes.
Yes.
And watch Girl Daddy on HBO Max.
Yes.
HBO Max.
Figure it out, you guys.
Yes.
Max Levine, my brother.
Make sure you watch it.
You get a free subscription on account of your name being Max.
Okay.
Exactly.
I'm doing my stand-up show on RushTix.com
on October 3rd
at 420 Pacific Time
thank you once again to Sam Levine
Brian Miller and Beth Stelling
and as always
Oh Captain My Captain
times two now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky
there's no room in his heart for you