Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine, Carmen Lynch and Geoff Tate guest

Episode Date: March 27, 2016

Live from the San Jose Improv, Doug welcomes Samm Levine, Carmen Lynch and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://ar...t19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seats With 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth There's still not more that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:00:29 Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. We love you!
Starting point is 00:00:51 Yes, we do! We love you, son! If you love me, shut the fuck up and let me start the show the proper way. show the proper way. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. Yeah, see, you were going to have a chance to yell anyway if you just waited. Coming to you for the first time ever from the improv in downtown San Jose, California.
Starting point is 00:01:40 It's Saturday, March 26, 2016 at 420-ish. And before I ask you guys to show me your name tags, I would like to show you some name tags that got confiscated at the front door of this club. Because this is a fancy-ass theater that serves food and therefore does not allow boxes of donuts through the front door and when i heard about it i said to him i go where are all the donuts they go we were holding them and they showed me where they were holding them uh so everybody could have
Starting point is 00:02:18 picked them up again on their way out but uh what's the point of that you didn't buy these donuts to pick them up on your way out. Let's see, we got here Phillip. Juan and Phillip? You got a gay couple got together and bought some donuts? These are all... These are all... Shake and bake.
Starting point is 00:02:52 These are all... These are sealed up Entenmann's, so they probably will still be good. Do you want them back? Juan and Phillip? You'd rather I just eat them. What kind of fat pig are you trying to turn me into? So you really brought donuts thinking that I want you to bring me donuts for me to eat?
Starting point is 00:03:14 For like two fucking years. Maybe not that long, but for a while now, I've been saying on the podcast, stop bringing me things to eat. I will not eat them. I will throw them on the podcast, stop bringing me things to eat. I will not eat them. I will throw them into the crowd. Where's Megan at? Oh, score. I've never done it this way before.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Uh-oh. We got spillage. Clean up. Quick, clean up on aisle two. No, don't just put them on a chair. Somebody take them. It's food, for Christ's sake. Did you notice the homeless population in this town?
Starting point is 00:04:02 We're just putting food on the ground or on a chair. But don't eat them now buy buy uh something from the club buy something delicious from the club let's do some doug plugs uh the next los angeles taping of douglow's movies occurs this wednesday march 30th at the ucb theater on franklin avenue at eight o'clock. And then next weekend I'll be at Jash Fest in Palm Springs, California. And on Sunday, April 3rd, I'm interrupting Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Starting point is 00:04:34 Yeah. At CineFamily. There's no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going. Is it raining? is it All right. That's going to be at CineFamily at 420 as part of the Wayne Fetterman International Film Festival.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Did I say April 3rd? Yes, I did. And I've got shows coming up in Greenville, South Carolina, right here in the Bay Area in San Francisco, and Portland, Oregon, and more, douglasmovies.com for dates, deets and links let's look at what I brought in my prize the winner today is going to get a lot of stuff
Starting point is 00:05:12 this is a poster for the comedy at South by Southwest, it lists me and a bunch of other comedians at the bottom, it's a pretty cool poster and, whoa, what's happening? More donuts.
Starting point is 00:05:27 Thank you. That was rude. He's very nice to bring me those donuts. Also included in the bag is a shirt from Smile Train, one of my favorite charities. They fix cleft palates on children in third world countries. We also got from my VHS collection, We have an episode of Dawson's Creek. This one's entitled Breaking Away.
Starting point is 00:06:12 So there's probably like a, you know, break up in that one. And then, or a bike race. And then an episode of the I love this Eddie Murphy animated show, The PJs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:27 So there's one of those in there. And then, but wait, there's more. A wristband that says Houston Normal on it. A CD by the Black Eyed Peas, Pre-Fergie. Yeah, I don't know how, you guys,
Starting point is 00:06:44 that was a mixed reaction to that. At midnight in Texas sticker, and also somebody, somebody that's here today, I think someone who works for the iTunes, a company I've never heard of or dealt with. Where are you at? Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Hey, what do you do at iTunes? Engineer? Okay. So you make sure the train gets there on time. And why is this so heavy? Are there multiples of each? Six Batman versus Superman. That's like a negative prize.
Starting point is 00:07:32 I was disappointed when I saw it today and I was the only person booing. Like the crowd I saw seemed perfectly okay with it. And then how many suicide squads? Just one suicide squad? And six Batman versus Supermans. All right, so that's quite a thing to win today. I don't think I've ever given away six copies of the same poster.
Starting point is 00:07:59 I hope the winner has friends. You know, a lot of loners like this show. Or I guess they could sell them, maybe. What do you think they're worth on the... I almost said black market, but I'm not racist. But thank you for that, iTunes guy.
Starting point is 00:08:17 And from the club here, the improv gave us a bag full of Jack Daniels, Tennessee Honey shirts and a hat and a whole bunch of stuff in there. Yeah. So all of that is going to someone today. In addition to the guests brought here by my prizes, three... What? My guests, not my prizes. My pretties.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Please welcome my pretties Jeff Tate, Carmen Lynch, and Sam the Ma'am Levine aka Lil Wolverine. Come on, Balcony. Woo! All right. Let's meet them individually, starting with, all the way from New York City,
Starting point is 00:09:22 it's Carmen Lynch, everybody. Hi. Starting with, all the way from New York City, it's Carmen Lynch, everybody. Well, it's sort of L.A. now. What's that? It's sort of L.A. Sort of? Yeah. Splitting your time?
Starting point is 00:09:34 Kind of. I like it. I noticed you were doing a lot of stuff in L.A. You've got to come on the show there sometime. Thanks for noticing. And you're welcome uh but you are performing all weekend here in this area i should say you're over in uh sunnyvale at the trailer park with the boys no you are you're at rooster tea feathers yeah rtf for life This is also a beautiful club.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Yeah. Roosters. It's different. It's different. It's kind of different vibes. I think I need to be more successful to work here, maybe. No offense to Roosters, but this is huge. Yeah, Roosters is an intimate space, like you're doing close-up magic,
Starting point is 00:10:21 and here is more of a bigger prestidigitation show. That's what I do, close-up. Prestidigination. This is where you do real illusionist stuff. Yeah. Like the other night, you and I gave off the illusion that it was worth listening to us talk for 90 minutes. Because this is a big stage. If you don't prowl it like Chris Rock, it feels weird.
Starting point is 00:10:42 You got to prowl it, Jeff. Jeff Tate is here, everybody. Woo! Hello. Hi, everybody. I like your outfit today, especially the hat, because it looks like you're about to pull off a second story job.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Or, go right into the store and just go right up to the guy with the money because you... Just straight up. It's amazing how well I can see through this.
Starting point is 00:11:12 And it's amazing how scary it is. Is it scary? Yeah, it is. Oh, man. Just whenever somebody's talking to you with their mask
Starting point is 00:11:22 pulled over their face, it's not a good situation. No, no, it's... a good situation. No, no. I need you to not remember me is not something you want from an encounter. It's never like, here's some money. Forget you saw my face. I didn't. Also joining us today, flying up from Los Angeles Where he does live
Starting point is 00:11:45 It's Sam the Ma'am Levine everybody Thank you Thank you San Jose Or For today Yeah It's officially Sam Jose Oh shit
Starting point is 00:12:01 I talked to the mayor and he was like Who are you? Doug just to clarify, I drove, did not fly. Oh, nice move. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Was it an enjoyable drive? It was a lovely drive.
Starting point is 00:12:16 It's really, it's about my car. I want my car to feel like it's lived a full life. So I try to take it to as many cities and states as I can. Oh, my God. Are you about to put your car down? It's going up to Canada to live in a big auto race park with all the other cars.
Starting point is 00:12:34 That sounds like the way they'd end a Fast and Furious movie. She was such a good car. Now she's on a farm. Maybe they'll do that in the next one. This last one, they just had to deal with an actual guy being dead. I'm just saying, you guys, let's be practical here.
Starting point is 00:12:54 Serious question. Here we go. Let's get serious. I was very much expecting the Paul Walker character to die in the film. Right, but I think that they wanted you to walk out of it with a happy feeling, even though we know what happened in real life. It's nice to
Starting point is 00:13:14 think that the character got to just go to an island somewhere. Sure. He doesn't seem like the retirement type, though. It seems like every movie they did was about him being pulled back into something. Yeah. So I don't know if his retirement's permanent. It just depends on how good they get CGI in the next couple of years.
Starting point is 00:13:31 He might be back and be a big part of the movie again. Oh, boy. I mean, I'm very curious to see the next one, which I believe is starring Kurt Russell and takes place in Manhattan. Yeah. Oh, that is breaking news. All of that's true. San Jose, that is accurate. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Yeah, I've got insider information. So brace yourselves for that. I've read it on IMDb. I don't even have IMDb Pro. It's just out there. It's not insider information, guys. You just have to want to know it. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:14:04 Who's going to do what? The next Fast and Furious movie will take place on Manhattan and Kurt Russell will be one of the leads. That is absolutely not true. Did you see the last one? Yeah. I mean, I hope I'm not spoiling this for anybody, but Kurt Russell dies in it.
Starting point is 00:14:19 No, he doesn't. He's just badly injured? Yeah. He takes one in the chest, but he lives because he's Kurt fucking Russell. That's true. You can't kill him. Yeah, man, he punched that bullet right out of his own gut. Yeah. And now he's moved to Manhattan to race cars.
Starting point is 00:14:35 I haven't seen the next one yet. Well, I heard he moved there because he's going to spend a little time in Little China. I thought that was San Francisco's Chinatown. Oh my God, it'd be super dope if Kurt Russell's car in Furious 8
Starting point is 00:14:51 was that fucking the Porkchop Express. That'd be the best. I don't think that's going to happen because his character in the Fast and Furious movie was like a suit-wearing guy.
Starting point is 00:15:00 I didn't see it. Totally different kind of guy. Well, we'll try to move off of these dumb movies. I'm glad we talked about it, because I saw Furious 7 this week. Well, since I have these donuts in my hand, let's talk about Frost Nixon. Where is Eric Armand? Where are you at, dude? There you are.
Starting point is 00:15:23 And you brought a whole bunch of donuts from Psycho Donuts. Which the donut is crying and running away. I don't know if that's... I don't know if that's... So the psychos are the people that work there, not the donuts. All right. And do you want your donuts back, sir? Can we eat them?
Starting point is 00:15:43 Oh. And do you want your donuts back, sir? Can we eat them? I'll have one. Oh, okay. This is next level shit. I'm throwing whole boxes. We're not even taking them out of the boxes. This is like when Gallagher gave up. And he's like, hey, fuck off.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Why do I still have them? He's tired of traveling with the sledge of Maddox, so he just puts things on a stool and slaps it with his hand. Knocks it off the stool just petulantly. Fuck this watermelon. Fuck this cantaloupe. I'm just trying to make the stack of donuts lower because there's a couple sitting over here that have shitty seats because the donuts are blocking the view.
Starting point is 00:16:27 I apologize for that. Who won the... They did a contest, a CISO sponsored contest where somebody won a better seat. Did that happen? Did I hear that? So you're sitting right there?
Starting point is 00:16:41 And where were you sitting before you won that contest? Just right over there? And where were you sitting before you won that contest? Just right over there? Sweet. Yeah, don't worry about it, people in the balcony. You never had a chance. Did someone lose that seat to her? No, no, no. They kept that one open.
Starting point is 00:17:01 And now there's an empty great seat right over there, probably. Yeah. But what are you going to do? Are you sitting with strangers? Oh, so all four of you won. That seems... Yeah. That's a whole family. Yeah, she got to bring a whole table over.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Are those your parents? Oh, that's cute. If you had a bigger party, it would have been a real Sophie's Choice. If you had a bigger party, it would have been a real Sophie's choice. You know, I try to bring it back to movies as quickly as I can. Really uplifting ones. She would have to pick three and then murder the rest of her family. I don't think that's what happened in that movie, Jeff.
Starting point is 00:17:41 I don't think Sophie murdered the other kid. I was just trying to make the steak similar. I haven't seen it yet. Me either. I haven't seen it. Oh, you're good. You're good. It's really depressing. Yeah, it's one of those. But you know what? It's more fun than Batman v Superman. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Yeah. Shots fired. I like the Green Hornet better than Superman. Uh-oh. Yeah, I'd say that's true. Shots fired. I like the Green Hornet better than Superman. Oh, now you're just being silly. I mean, at least with Green Hornet, you know, Deadpool rose up out of the ashes of that. You know, like... Oh, Green Lantern, sorry.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Which one did you say? Green Hornet. Oh, shit. I like Green Hornet, sorry. Which one did you say? Green Hornet. Oh, shit. I like Green Hornet. Yeah. See, I've never seen Green Lantern. Green Lantern's really not. It's bad.
Starting point is 00:18:32 It's real bad. And then Ryan Reynolds was like, I'm going to stick with this superhero thing. Until I get it right. Finally got it right. I'm going to keep doing them until I get it right. So proud of him. So happy for him.
Starting point is 00:18:42 He even played Deadpool wrong once. Yep. He's like Deadpool wrong once. Yep. He's like, all right, I'll play him because I don't want anybody else to play him, but I don't know if sewing up Deadpool's mouth is the way to go. That does seem like a weird choice for a guy whose only superpower is being cool.
Starting point is 00:18:59 And chatty. Like saying cool jokes. Yeah. He's like a real prick, Carmen, just so you know. That Deadpool character is a dick. But just to give people some hope here in the room today that haven't
Starting point is 00:19:12 seen BVS, who here, and we're not going to judge you for it, it's not like the prequels or something, who here loved it? Really? That sounds about right. Sounds about right. It's not like the prequels or something. Who here loved it? Woo, yeah! Really?
Starting point is 00:19:27 That sounds about right. It sounds about right. Four people in this entire country. But I'm genuinely happy for you because I went into it thinking I wasn't going to like it, hoping I would, and then it was worse than I thought it was going to be. For me, for me, if you love it, hoping I would, and then it was worse than I thought it was gonna be. For me, for me, if you love it,
Starting point is 00:19:49 if you love your superhero movies as slowly moving as possible, take Unbreakable, slow that down. And while you're at it, take out the interesting characters and situations. You all right, Sam? You're just shaking your head. I haven't seen the picture, but you're not you're really doing a good job of making me not want to see this movie.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Well, you gotta see it so that if you ever are up for a part in a Zack Snyder movie, you can just pick something to compliment him on about it. Sure. It looked neat. Yeah. Good effects. It's probably easier to come up with a compliment for this movie if you don't ever about it. Sure. It looked neat. Yeah. I mean, it was... Good effects. It's probably easier to come up with a compliment for this movie
Starting point is 00:20:28 if you don't ever see it. Yep. Alright. The costumes. Dope poster, dude. Hey, congratulations. That movie made a lot of money. Yes, that's a good way to do it. Because it is already making a shit ton.
Starting point is 00:20:45 There's nothing we can do to stop it. But that's the problem. And I mean, when people ask me all the time why Freaks and Geeks was canceled, I'm like, it wasn't a quality issue. It's because we didn't have any viewers. And so people complain that Batman versus Superman, they're going to make 10 sequels,
Starting point is 00:21:00 and they probably will because it's going to make $500 million. Yeah. So if we stop seeing the shitty movies then they won't have any incentive to make good ones? That's right. No! We have to
Starting point is 00:21:13 it's like how when girls start dating not assholes and they're like oh fuck those guys. They're terrible. No? Does that always happen? This is wishful thinking folks. not assholes. And they're like, oh, fuck those guys. That's never going to happen. They're terrible. Yeah. No?
Starting point is 00:21:26 Does that always happen? This is wishful thinking, folks. I had some bad luck, and I got to believe that there's going to be some time in life where women are like, no, now that I'm in my 60s, I know. Stay away from those guys. Maybe in your 60s, yeah. In my 60s? All right, here we go. See in your 60s, yeah. In my 60s? All right, here we go.
Starting point is 00:21:47 See you in 26 years, ladies. Why do you have to be in your 60s? Why can't just some 60s lady come at you right now like, You know what, Jeff Tate? I'm going to break off a piece of that freak or geek. Come on, where are you? Jeff Tate, you have sold me. The people with the parents there, how's that marriage? Is it shaky?
Starting point is 00:22:07 No? It's good? It's all good? Alright. God bless you both. See me after the show. If you were sitting over there, would it be alright? Or did that sort of patch things up? You caught a lucky break. She's married to a guy that was on Undeclared, so you already missed your window.
Starting point is 00:22:24 You were her type But you missed it How did that lose everybody? Yeah, I don't know But I'm happy to move on Because I still want to talk about Batman and Superman Please First of all, I just hate it when they fight
Starting point is 00:22:44 Wouldn't that be funny if that was why I didn't like it, I just hate it when they fight. I just... Wouldn't that be funny if that was why I didn't like it? I just want them to get along. It's just... It's upsetting to me that they're arguing. But yeah,
Starting point is 00:22:56 I don't want to get into any spoilers or anything, and I just want to say that, you know, since everybody's going to see it, you know, go ahead. And you might like it. You might like it because there's plenty of people
Starting point is 00:23:08 that like it just fine. Maybe sneak in though. Buy a ticket to something else. There you go. Do the old swapper-oony. Switch in to something else, which feels like it's what they do here at the theater in downtown San Jose all constantly. Because we have not seen a movie there, Jeff and I,
Starting point is 00:23:23 where someone didn't walk in 20 minutes late, sit down, and enjoy the rest of it. Yeah. Like, nothing ever went wrong. Like, they weren't looking around like, oh, shit, it started already? Nope, this is how we do it. Last night, it was like 35 minutes
Starting point is 00:23:36 after the movie started, five people walked in. Just loudly. Just all with backpacks. Like, they just got out of school and wanted to catch the last half of London has fallen, which is probably the better half to catch if you're going to. So how much of London falls?
Starting point is 00:23:56 I mean, it's right there in the title, so it happens for sure. And it happens at the beginning, and it's damn near most of London. Most of London explodes right at the beginning and it's damn near most of London. Most of London explodes right at the beginning. So then... It's right at the beginning, though. It's in the title. And it's probably in the trailer
Starting point is 00:24:14 probably shows a lot of it. It's on the poster. Also, I'll be doing you a favor by spoiling all of it. Yeah. How could they not do London Has Fallen and not blow up Big Ben? It's spoiling all of it. Yeah. How could they not do London Has Fallen and not blow up Big Ben?
Starting point is 00:24:27 It's got to happen, right? Yeah. So there you go. But I also love that you're concerned about a movie that is like, you know, it's like dying. It's like crawling out of theaters right now. You know a movie's done when it has like two random ass showt times at a multiplex.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Yeah, yeah. I'm going to either see it at 12.50 or 11.55 p.m. Interesting options. It's like they have to, they put it in that time slot because that gives them a tax break or something. Like if they're open before noon and after midnight. I think it's that they know the can sell booze and something like that. The only people who see it are unemployed. They can either see a movie at noon or see one that starts at midnight because they're not getting up
Starting point is 00:25:10 in the morning. Yeah, I saw it. It's probably still better. It's really, like, I like super dumb, loud movies like that and I didn't even like this one. This one was the, it was racist. It was super crazy racist. It felt like it was written by someone whose understanding of
Starting point is 00:25:29 foreign policy came from Rush Limbaugh's radio show. But still better than BVS? Uh, yeah. Well, it was, here's why I'll say it's better than BVS. It was like an hour shorter than BVS. So it's like they're both garbage,
Starting point is 00:25:46 but at least I got to leave London Has Fallen at some point. I didn't feel like a whole day. You can't have as much slow motion as they have in Batman v Superman and be two and a half hours long. Like, speed those shots the fuck up. You don't need them to tell the story. and be two and a half hours long. Like, speed those shots the fuck up. I went outside to smoke. You don't need them to tell the story. I went outside to smoke,
Starting point is 00:26:08 and when I got back in, before the shell, it hit the ground. It, like, clicked out of a gun, and I went all the way downstairs, smoked a cigarette, came up, then it hit the ground, and the movie kept going. I didn't miss anything.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Sorry, dude, that was a different bullet. They shot two bullets? Yeah. Oh. In succession, though, dude. That was a different bullet. They shot two bullets? Yeah. In succession, though. Did that second one look a lot like the first one coming out of the barrel? I didn't miss much. What'd you bring for the prize bag, Jeff?
Starting point is 00:26:38 What'd you bring for the bag? I brought a Big Trouble in Little China comic book. I brought a Big Trouble in Little China comic book. That lady stood up like we're going to throw these. Yeah, pass it down, pass it down. There you go. Her enthusiasm got her the prize. Oh! She was way too into it.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Yeah. And I brought a denim on denim shirt. Yeah, see, nobody jumped up out of their seat for that no no uh you can get you can buy those at zipzooapparel.com if you want I got some dope new shirts on there too and uh the money goes to speakersilence.org Carmen mine aren't as exciting but I those were exciting Carmen? Mine aren't as exciting. Those were exciting? First of all, your bag is exciting.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Show them the bag. The bag. Star Wars bag. And it's got the good and evil sides on the bag. Yes, and you get to keep the bag. You know what? You're getting, don't look at the price on this. Some St. Patrick's Day shot glasses. Best time to buy them is after
Starting point is 00:27:53 St. Patrick's Day. I got you some movie candy. Like Sour Patch Kids. Sure. And gummy bears and shit like that. Oh, and then I got a lighter for your weed pleasure. And a little costume for your wine bottle. Did you almost say bong?
Starting point is 00:28:18 Costume for your bong? It just says wine, but it's for your bong. No, it's whatever you want to do with it. I just thought of something else. But what is it? A costume of what? It's a wine. It's an apron for your wine bottle. Oh, it's like a little It's like a little chef outfit. And if you're religious, I got you some peeps for tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:28:37 No wonder Roche put that hat. And a coupon for some nuts. And I think that's it. Right? You mean the nuts will be straight up free if you use a coupon or it's a little bit off? It's a discount for nuts.
Starting point is 00:28:59 I just wanted to say nuts. All right, that's some great stuff. Thank you, Carmen. Nuts. It's fun. All right. That's some great stuff. Thank you, Carmen. Nuts. It's fun. Nuts. It's fun to say. Yeah. Sam? Doug, you know I don't disappoint.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Maybe one of the greatest underrated sequels of all time, Anchorman 2. The legend continues in DVD format.. In DVD format. Also in DVD format. It's not a sequel, but the sequel was identical.
Starting point is 00:29:31 The Hangover? So if you want to watch The Hangover 2, just re-watch The Hangover twice. And then this is maybe my favorite thing I've ever brought to the show. Because someone is going to win this, and I expect fully to tweet to me about how they wound up using it.
Starting point is 00:29:50 This is a banana massager. That's right. Finally, we can massage our bananas. Yeah. After a long day at the office, your banana needs a good rub down. There you go. What, do you, like, put a banana inside that thing? It's a banana-shaped massager.
Starting point is 00:30:13 What the fuck? That is not what the box says. It just says banana massager. That is very misleading. How does that work? Sorry, San Jose. I was the victim of false advertising. Oh, it's a fat banana.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Well. It looks like a Sports Illustrated phone. Batteries. Yeah, it's supposed to have batteries, but I don't even know once the battery's in, there's no on-off switch. It's a complex thing, you guys. So do with it what you will.
Starting point is 00:30:51 And all of that is going to be someone's today at the end of the program. I never did ask you guys to show me your name tags, so don't do it yet. Yeah. I apologize. I was just confused by too many things. But I was curious, though, if anybody in the balcony has one.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Do you? No? Good. That's a good way to seat the place. Name tags downstairs, balcony, no name tags. But before we get into the game portion, you know I have at least one question I like to ask, but I'm going to start with a question that's
Starting point is 00:31:33 special just for today. What's your favorite Easter movie? Right? Isn't it weird that there are Easter movies, but none that are anybody's favorite Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey That was an Easter movie?
Starting point is 00:31:52 Well, it has an Easter sequence Oh, okay Great I have one Every Easter we would watch Ben-Hur That man has abs He's hot I like my favorite sequence
Starting point is 00:32:11 In that movie is the egg hunt Do you have one Jeff? I guess it's more of a Good Friday movie But Passion of the christ yeah that's the one i wrote down i've never even seen that's the one i was gonna say uh i i haven't sat through the whole thing because it's apparently it's just torture like batman versus superman yeah Like Batman versus Superman? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Boy, there was no shortage of Christ imagery in that movie. Yeah, it's like every time one of those two guys would walk into a scene, they'd be like, What's up? As often as possible, there was them in the middle with two guys flanking them. Like whenever they could, like that big crucifixion thing. I don't know. Sam, I think you didn't get to that part of the Bible. No, I'm still on the first one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:15 Yeah, well, there was an addendum. Where's hello, my name is Adam. Where are you at? Hey, how's it going, man? Do you want your donuts back? Why is it? It's like you know something.
Starting point is 00:33:33 I open it up, boom! Oh, there's a lot of them. Oh, can we share some? Yeah, you guys can have a donut if you want. Thank you. Oh, yeah, get in there. Yeah. Do you want one?
Starting point is 00:33:46 Yeah. I have no hands. Ooh, thanks, Adam. This is like the scene in Fast Times where Spicoli gets a pizza and the teacher gives it to everybody but Spicoli. All right, so you guys all got a donut.
Starting point is 00:34:07 Yay. Oh, here they go. And then an even bigger box from Psycho Donuts. And that's from Where's Robert Coleman at? Alright, thank you, Robert, for bringing those. I'm sorry we're not throwing them all around, because I assume
Starting point is 00:34:23 the improv doesn't want us to do that. I'm so curious. Who was it? Who was it? Do you guys remember? Were any of you on the show where somebody stomped on all the donuts? I really upset somebody in the balcony I forget who it was though Somebody just dumped the shit out of the donuts
Starting point is 00:34:56 So that's an option for you guys Just throwing it out there We know Jeff's last movie that he saw Was London Has Fallen. And, of course, he and I both watched BVS today. What was the last movie you saw that's not been her, Carmen? I haven't seen a movie in a couple months. I think it was Carol.
Starting point is 00:35:21 Yeah? Did you like that? It was good. You might like BVS then. They're similarly paced. It was very slow, yes. Yeah. Sam, what about you?
Starting point is 00:35:36 I had never seen the Behind Enemy Lines movie with Owen Wilson. And Gene Hackman? And Gene Hackman, yeah. So I finally got a chance to see that. It's not bad, right? No, it's pretty entertaining. I like that movie. Yeah, there you go. That's good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:54 I just like to participate. Carmen doesn't I never saw it. I haven't seen any movies in a while. You pretty much just see the movies about lesbians. Yes, I know all the lesbian movies. Personal best? Blue is the warmest color. I can't think of any more. That'd be a fun last man stand.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Lesbian movies. Oh, Bound. Bound. Bound is probably the best one. Wild Things. Is it lesbian if there's a three-way? I don't know, man. Does that automatically make it lesbian or just girls having fun? Well, I mean, it depends on how... Wishful thinking over there.
Starting point is 00:36:30 Do you want to use the book definition of lesbian? Yes. Okay. The Danish girl? I don't know. Never mind. Oh, you're the worst. There's a lot of lesbians in the Danish girl.
Starting point is 00:36:47 There's a transgender fella, lady. Oh, I can't stop with the spoilers today. Spoiling everything for you guys. Alright, that's the part of the show where I say let the games begin!
Starting point is 00:37:03 Let the games begin! the part of the show where I say, let the games begin! Now, let's take a look at these name tags. While they pick their name tags, we'll do these brief messages. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody. Today's episode is brought to you in part by casper mattresses obsessively engineered american-made mattresses
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Starting point is 00:40:39 Thank you to everybody. There was a lot of good ones out there, a lot of big ones. You make them big here in San Jose. Jeff's is pretty big. What's going on there? I'm playing for Ashley. Love Ashley. She made a Love Actually poster,
Starting point is 00:40:56 but she changed it to people who have done the show. Jacob's on here. Sarah Silverman, Andre Vermillion, me. I'm there. Hold it up in a more straight up way, thank you I'm not going to put you in it I'm just going to get the There's too much light coming off of it Oh there you go, nice
Starting point is 00:41:17 Alright That is pretty cool looking That's well done It's pretty great, I think I'm going to keep it I think the picture of me Is like when I was on At Midnight But I don't recall ever being angry on there I look angry in that picture I think that's you from Friends
Starting point is 00:41:33 Oh, okay My mom calls it Bloomy's Yeah Alright, Carmen I'm playing for Nancy in Chasing Nancy One of Ben Affleck's better movies I like it Carmen? I'm playing for Nancy in Chasing Nancy. One of Ben Affleck's better movies. I like it.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Quick, it's out a little bit. I want to get you another shot. There you go. Get a nice blurry shot of Carmen. And get one of Sam's. This one's pretty impressive. Yeah, this one, there's some nice Photoshop work here. I'm playing for Justin Glorious Bastards And he has replaced Brad Pitt's head
Starting point is 00:42:12 With your head And I don't remember what Brad Is carrying in the Real poster of this, but in this one He's changed it to the decapitated head of Donald Trump. He's carrying a lunchbox in the real poster. Oh, a lunchbox?
Starting point is 00:42:33 A Dukes of Hazzard lunchbox. Hello, kiddies. Oh, Dukes of Hazzard. Aldo Reigns a fan. Yeah, what was he holding? I feel like... A suitcase? Yeah, I don't know. It's probably just another gun.
Starting point is 00:42:44 He's standing on a pile of dead Nazis. He's not holding a scalp, I know that much. He might be holding like a Nazi helmet. All right. I don't remember. What movie is the tagline, A Bastard's Work Is Never Done? A Bastard Out of Carolina.
Starting point is 00:42:57 Yes. Pretty sure. There were a few people tickled by that. It came up this time. All right, you guys. Let's see how we're doing here on time and whatnot. Yeah, I think we've got the time that we need because we are about to play a new game.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Ooh! Yeah! We love new games. Why is there a name tag made it to the stage that nobody picked? Pedal juice. It's just sitting there. And I'm not going to say it three times
Starting point is 00:43:32 because I know what happens. Not going to make that mistake. May I please have another kettle wanted soda, San Jose Improv? Thank you. And maybe another Modelo Especial. A Modelo Especial for Sam. Do you need anything, Carmen?
Starting point is 00:43:47 I'm good, thank you. I would like some water. Jeff would like a water. Waters for Carmen and Jeff. So it's going to be interesting. Because Sam and I are getting drunk. We'll see what happens. This first game is a brand new game.
Starting point is 00:44:07 We've only played it once before. It's called Jason and Deb's IMDb Game. Created by my friends Jason and Deb on 101X in Austin, Texas. Basically, here's how the game works. I think Jeff and I have played it together in a car once, so he knows how it works, but Carmen and Sam, on the IMDb page, when you look up an actor or an actress,
Starting point is 00:44:30 it'll say most known for, and they'll list four things. Mostly movies, but they throw in some TV shows, and I'll tell you if that happens, or you can guess accordingly. But the idea is, so for example, Sam. Yes? What four things does it say on your IMDB page? Have you looked at it? I have not.
Starting point is 00:44:52 I have to assume. Go ahead and guess then. Bastards and, I don't know, Pulse. And probably That's So Raven. That's mostly what I get stopped on the street for. No, it's really interesting what they did. They went in Glorious Bastards, Pulse, and Not Another Teen Movie. Okay. Sure.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Fair enough. And then, as your fourth credit on IMDb, the Internet Movie Database, Kevin Pollak Chat Show. Yep. Yeah. Which is nice. Nice that they're plugging it that way. You know what? Thank you, IMDB. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:26 Doesn't list Doug Lowe's movies as one of my things. Well... Although I didn't look, so maybe it did. Oh, drinks are coming. Thank you. You drink it. No, no, no. It's a drink.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Thank you. Here's to you, San Jose. Cheers. Sam and I are going to tear up this town tonight. It's Sam's town tonight. Sam Jose. It's his for the taking. I'm going to go out and meet some 60-year-old ladies.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Why don't we just find one for you here? Seriously. Hello? Don't be shy. You'll find me after the show. Why don't we just find one for you here? Seriously. Hello? Yeah. Don't be shy. Hello. You'll find me after the show. So here's how the game works.
Starting point is 00:46:11 I name... Starting a real problem here. Like, in the case of you, Sam, if I named... I'll start naming movies, and if I say Inglourious Bastards, you can yell Sam to stop me and take a guess right there
Starting point is 00:46:24 what actor we're talking about. Got it. But without having heard two titles, it's a pretty risky move. We also need, I think our mics are too close together because I'm starting to make some weird noises. Or it's something else. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:46:40 So you can buzz in there if you want, but it's probably best to wait for two titles because if you guess incorrectly, that's a negative point. You lose a point. Oh. Yeah, so you don't want to jump in too early and guess wrong. Okay. But then once I name a second movie, a third movie, and a fourth movie, whenever the person does jump in and gets it right,
Starting point is 00:46:59 they get, for bonus points, a chance to name the additional titles that are in the four for that actor or actress. And those are worth how many points each? One point. Okay. So you get a point for getting it right, then an additional point for each one. We're playing to five points. Alright. Yeah, so it's going to take at least two rounds for somebody to win. Probably more. And if I run out of names,
Starting point is 00:47:20 whoever has the most points wins. Now can we jump in or is this just between you guys? The first one. Huh? It's always up for everybody. Yeah, you're always in the game, at least the first time you yell out. Then you gotta wait until that round ends. Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:47:40 And the first time we played this, I just looked down at the paper and just announced, Billy Bob Thornton! and the first time we played this, I just looked down at the paper and just announced, Billy Bob Thornton! Unlike the third round or fourth round of it, so it was pretty hilarious. He's going to be the new Amy Adams, which, by the way,
Starting point is 00:47:58 Billy Bob is terrible in Batman v Superman. Quick question, Doug. Yes, sir. If I gamble and guess after you've only said one movie, am I then locked out or can I then guess
Starting point is 00:48:10 after you say the second movie? No, you get the negative point and you're locked out. Oh, okay. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Don't take that chance, Sam. I'm just curious how it worked.
Starting point is 00:48:18 I know. And, you know, that's the thing is IMDb is very, it's curious, their choices sometimes. Indeed. So, like, that's part of is IMDB is very it's curious their choices sometimes indeed so like that's that's part of the fun because it's not obvious which the top four are it's not like their top four grossing movies right obviously in your case that's true because Kevin Pollak
Starting point is 00:48:35 chat show made more it's not a top grossing movie almost as much as BBS that That's Bob Vila Syndrome. It was a documentary played just a couple of theaters. I was waiting for the S. Turns out it's Syndrome. I thought it was going to be show. Why wouldn't it just be show? No, that was on PBS.
Starting point is 00:49:00 That was not in theaters. All right, here we go. Say your own name when you think you know the actor or actress that's in all of these things. All right. Birdman or the unexpected virtue of ignorance? Batman. Sam. I think Sam got in first.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Who is it? I think that's Michael Keaton. That's correct. That's correct. And now for bonus points. Batman Returns? And Beetlejuice? I've got...
Starting point is 00:49:37 You got one right. Batman Returns and Spotlight. Ah, okay. Yeah. Yeah. So now Sam is up two points. Sam's got two points. Guys ready for the next one?
Starting point is 00:49:57 No. Billy Bob Thornton. Jeff. Jeff. The first movie is Man of Steel. The second movie is The Man from Uncle. Jeff.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Go for it. Henry Cavill. Henry Cavill. Superman. Superman. Henry Cavill. uh henry cavill cavill henry cavill superman henry cavill that is correct that is correct you got it so jeff gets one point and do you want to even try to guess two more henry cavill films because i think we just named the two that you've seen. You might not have even seen Man from U.N.C.L.E.
Starting point is 00:50:49 I saw Man from U.N.C.L.E. Oh, okay. I did not see Man of Steel. Oh, that's right. I did see Batman vs. Superman, Dawn of Justice. Uh-huh. And, uh... Fuck. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:51:01 That guy looks like a guy that would be on that show, Suits. I like how you think. But it's just immortals? Just the word immortals? You remember that? Nope. Me neither.
Starting point is 00:51:25 And then another one that I didn't think Jeff would know called Stardust. Yeah, exactly. Henry Cavill needs to work more. No, no he doesn't. Please. Alright, so Jeff has one point
Starting point is 00:51:41 Sam has two. Here's the next one. Make it easy. Okay. I'll look right at you, Carmen, for this one. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Gravity. Right. I got it. Okay. But that's not. Ocean's 11. Jeff. That was me. That was't know! That was me.
Starting point is 00:52:05 That was not you. That was me. I'm pretty sure that was Sam. I'm giving it to Carmen. But I think Sam was first. Damn it, you're right. That's why you... Don't move around.
Starting point is 00:52:16 Stay where I can see all you guys. Okay, Sam. George Clunes. Clunes. George Clunes is who we're talking about. Proper name, please. Yeah,unes. Clunies. George Clunies is who we're talking about. Proper name, please. Yeah, that's wrong. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:52:29 George Clunie III. George Clunie. All right, so you got one for that. Oh, boy. What's on Clunes? I'm going to say known for. I'm going to take a long shot here. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:47 Good night and good luck. We need one more. And Oceans 11? I said Oceans 11. No, I thought you said Oceans 13. So Oceans 13. Okay. We can't guess. They should you said Ocean's 13. So Ocean's 13. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:06 We can't guess. They should have just gone straight across Ocean's Ocean's Ocean's. I wish. But they didn't. They like to mix it up, I guess. Did they put
Starting point is 00:53:12 Golden Girls on it? No. Golden Girls didn't make it. Facts of Life. Roseanne didn't make it. Facts of Life didn't make it. He was in Up in the Air
Starting point is 00:53:20 and The Descendants. Ah! Yeah, yeah. Points don't give me. I thought you'd give him a director nod, you know? Ah! So Sam just got one point for that round.
Starting point is 00:53:28 So Sam has three and Jeff has one. And here's the next one. Heat. Jeff. Really? Yeah. All right. Val Kilmer.
Starting point is 00:53:51 That is correct. Ah! What? It's superheroes, Sam. Tombstone. It's not Batman. It's because Henry Cavill was one of them. He's my favorite Batman.
Starting point is 00:54:18 So I'm going to say Tombstone. Two more. Top Gun. One more. And let's go with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang for fun because I can't think of what it would be can I challenge?
Starting point is 00:54:36 no you can't do anything just have to sit there okay so you get Top Gun was correct but the other two were wrong. But, you know, one was just handed to you. Batman Forever.
Starting point is 00:54:52 Oh, but I didn't think they would put Batman Forever for Val Kilmer. They didn't put the Batman movie for George Clooney. That's a good point. You have seen that one? Yeah. Yeah, they don't usually put people's biggest pieces of shit. Except for Sam and Pulse.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Damn right. God damn right. So they went with Batman Forever and The Prince of Egypt. Oh, of course. Yeah, right. The great Val Kilmer movie, The Prince of Egypt. Oh, of course. The great Val Kilmer movie, The Prince of Egypt. So, that means that Jeff got two points
Starting point is 00:55:32 on that round. So we have Jeff with three, Sam with three, and Carmen is going to catch up. Is going to catch up. But if you don't, this isn't the game that decides it all, so it's really just a warm-up to don't worry too much about it. But here's the next one.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Superman? The original one? I'm sorry. Okay. What did I say? Superman? Okay, I'm ready. Go.
Starting point is 00:56:04 The Remains of the Day. Oh, Carmen! I don't know. I don't know, but I... I'm gonna try. Oh, shit. It could be the star, but the Remains of the Day,
Starting point is 00:56:28 was he in that? Go ahead and guess. Okay, my first, I'm not going to give you my final answer. I'm going to tell you my first gut. My first gut. It's got to be your only guess. Superman and the Remains of the Day.
Starting point is 00:56:38 It sounds like a really smart movie that I've never seen. Oh, then it's got to be him. It's Christopher Reeve or Gene Hackman. Yeah, that's correct. Christopher Reeve or Gene Hackman. Yeah, that's correct. Christopher Reeve. Sweet. All right.
Starting point is 00:56:50 So Superman and Remains of the Day are taken for Christopher Reeve. You get to make two more Christopher Reeve movies. Okay. The one where he plays a priest, Monsignor.
Starting point is 00:56:59 No. And? Oh. Did he make any other movies? Oh, Superman 2! Yeah, Superman 2 is correct. I get five points! So you get one point.
Starting point is 00:57:16 That's double Jeopardy points. You get one point for guessing Christopher Reeve or Gene Hackman. It's an interesting approach. I'd like to see people try that on Jeopardy. I've got a multi-part answer, Alex. But you were right about Superman 2, and it was right there for the taking. Superman 3.
Starting point is 00:57:35 Which sucks. Finally, somebody's put their foot down on Superman 3. No love for Quest for Peace, huh? Nope, no Superman 4. At least not in his top four. John Cryer's finest. So Carmen's on the board with two points. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:57:56 All right, somebody's gotta do something. All right, here we go. To make this finish. I just want to be able to see who speaks first. And the audience will also have my back or not. We're all going to be trustworthy here because this is going to happen fast.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Oh shit. I can't see your mouth. Take your burglar face off. Here we go. Argo? Jeff. That's Jeff. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:43 Who do you think it is, Jeff? I think it's... Fuck. I think I might have fucked myself. Ben Affleck. You might have. Ben Affleck. That's who you're going with?
Starting point is 00:58:54 Ben Affleck? You sure? Yeah. That's it. That's it. Yeah, we all know he's in Argo, but there's other actors in Argo. That is correct. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Oh! other actors in Argo. That is correct. Now, that puts Jeff at four points. All he has to do is get one out of three right of Ben Affleck movies listed by IMDb, and you will be our winner of this game. Okay, here's my three
Starting point is 00:59:22 guesses for Ben Affleck. Good Will Hunting, The Town, and Pearl Harbor. So close. It's Good Will Hunting, The Town, and Gone Girl, but you are a winner. Jeff is the winner. Jeff is the winner. It was the first time we played it
Starting point is 00:59:49 It was too hard for the panelists And so people were already telling me It was not going to work But I was like, you just wait You just wait until Sam and Carmen and Jeff play That's right I think we should add the challenge though The challenge amendment to the game.
Starting point is 01:00:05 It just gets a little too loosey-goosey if everybody's always challenging each other. What were you going to challenge him on? Like, if he got the names wrong, I could guess what the... Oh, you could jump in and guess what he missed? And I would say Gone Girl and then win his points. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Just kidding. Do you think that's what would have happened? Do you think he would have said Gone Girl? No, that wouldn't have happened at all. If you ever want to do a non-leading actors version of that game, I'd be down, bro. Wait, the leading
Starting point is 01:00:38 actor part was what made it hard for you? No, I'm saying if you want to go next level. What Sam's mad about is that this version of the game... I would love to play that. Off, Mike! That would be boring. Sam's upset that this version of the game other people can win, too.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Bro! Chef, if you don't know by now that I have mad respect for your movie knowledge, suck a dick. I almost said... I almost said Scoot McNary because he was in both of those movies. Good old Scoot.
Starting point is 01:01:12 And that's totally what Tug would have done there. Yeah. Our buddy Scoot. You won both of your rounds just on one movie. It's pretty impressive. But for everybody that's here today and for those in the future audiences, please don't reveal the
Starting point is 01:01:27 theme that is emerging with the names in the answers because that sort of blew that out a little bit. Oh, fuck. I did that. I'm sorry. Well, you did it, but that's you're fucking yourself over by telling them that it's all Batmans. But somebody in the audience said it before you did.
Starting point is 01:01:43 You just agreed with them. I didn't hear the audience member say it yeah yeah i don't want any more of that i promise you i didn't i already saw enough amy adams today i could stand to see some more amy ad Yeah, why didn't she wear those same pants that she wore in Night at the Museum? She's a fan of those pants. I wish she... No, I said, why didn't she? Oh.
Starting point is 01:02:13 It was a different movie. They don't have that store in Gotham. Right. They don't... There's not a lot of people running around in jodhpurs. Sam, you were going to say something? I was just going to say I was thinking supportings because that other game you used to play
Starting point is 01:02:30 where you'd name several movies and it was always a supporting actor who was in all three. Oh, what was that game? I don't remember, but I remember one time I said J.K. Simmons. Cluster Flicks? Yeah, that's it. Cluster Flicks. You're a fan of this show, Jeff. Yeah, you said J.K. Simmons and when I said you were wrong, you were like, oh, J. Clusterflix. You're a fan of this show, Jeff. Yeah. You said J.K. Simmons
Starting point is 01:02:46 and when I said you were wrong, you were like, oh, J.K. Yep. Just kidding. All right. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Ah! And this game has gone to another level, Sam. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 01:03:05 You might not know about. What the fuck? Yeah. It's basically like a mini tournament of Last Man Stanton because it's the first person to two points wins this game. You've got to get two right. And you've got to last longest on two. We'll get a name from the audience.
Starting point is 01:03:24 Take turns. I play along on this one. Take turns naming movies the person was in. If you can't think of one, you've got to last longest on two. We'll get a name from the audience. Take turns. I play along on this one. Take turns naming movies the person was in. If you can't think of one, you're out. You're only out for that round. The person that lasts the longest wins a point. Yeah. And then the person that wins the first round gets to pick any actor they want for the next round.
Starting point is 01:03:43 Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. So that's where you could throw your weight around with some supporting actor nobody knows. Very well. Vincent Chiavelli. You could say it yourself. I sure could.
Starting point is 01:03:55 You could say, let's do Sam Levine movies. That would be an awfully fast game. All right. I take it back. You can't do that. All right. I think you'd do pretty good. There's some actors, though, that, like, you know,
Starting point is 01:04:11 if, like, Tom Arnold was on here, I bet you he'd forget some of the movies that he was in. Yeah, like the one he was in with me. What? Damn right, guys. What was that? I've been in a lot of shitty movies, okay? What one were you guys in together?
Starting point is 01:04:24 We shot it under the title After School Special, but then it was ultimately released under the title National Lampoon's Barely Legal. Gross. Yeah, that's right. That's right. So if I pick myself later, you guys can just use that one.
Starting point is 01:04:41 I'd rather lose than say that out loud. Yep. That's fair. One of my favorite moments during the games on this show was when Tom Arnold was on and he didn't recognize the children
Starting point is 01:04:55 that played his kids in Carpool. Were they the other two guests? Huh? Yeah, and he walked down the stage and said, who are these fucks? No, we were playing Leonard Maltin, and I was naming names, and they were his kids. He had no idea what movie it was.
Starting point is 01:05:15 All right, so we've got to get the first one from the crowd, and there's a gentleman who tweeted me whose Twitter name rhymes with tweeted. His name is Peted. Pete with a D at the end. Pete D. Is that your Beetlejuice? That's you. Holy shit. Hey!
Starting point is 01:05:36 Petaljuice. It's amazing how often the person that I use for this that I pick randomly off of Twitter also is in the front row. And Pete, do you have a good name for us, you think? Keep it simple. Huh? We're going to do, we just need a name for Last Man Stanton.
Starting point is 01:05:56 Like, it's weird that you seem to not understand when you're the one that wrote to me on Twitter, I've got a perfect name for Last Man Stanton. And you also, when did you write that to me? Today? Today? Alright. I don't approve of this at all.
Starting point is 01:06:15 But he said Gary Shanley. I know, right? Do you have any idea how much of a bummer that is before you said it? Do you have any idea how much of a bummer that is before you said it? Do you have any idea that I don't want to hear from you at all? It's not a just yell out names thing.
Starting point is 01:06:36 That's why I got a guy on Twitter and asked him. Gary Shandling's only in a couple movies you don't need to say more about it because we're doing it oh shit we're for real yeah it's gonna be rough he's a great great comedian and had two great TV shows but his movie career
Starting point is 01:06:58 was somewhat spotty and Jeff since you won that last game you get to go first so name any movie that featured the late great Gary Shandling Iron Man 2 yes Carmen describe the movie nope I only know his TV stuff. Right. That's what happens. That's another reason why it's not a great name for this game.
Starting point is 01:07:32 The sadness plus the difficulty. Yeah. Extra sad. Oh, thank you for reminding me. Every round you can use your name tag as a lifeline. Oh! The person who supplied your name tag. Where's Nancy? Where you at?
Starting point is 01:07:49 Carmen needs you already. Nancy! Nancy sounds like she's at a loss as well. You better be there for me. And Captain America the Winter Soldier? Captain America the Winter Soldier. I think that's good. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Chasing Nancy. Thank you, Nancy. And Hail Hydra, Sam. What planet are you from? Yes. All right. I know that he was friendly with Warren Beatty, and therefore I think he has a small part in the movie Love Affair.
Starting point is 01:08:35 Could be wrong, though. Yeah. With Warren Beatty and Annette Bening, but I could be wrong. Challenge. What's the protocol there? Just worry about it later, because what I say doesn't really even count. That's fair.
Starting point is 01:08:53 Yeah. Okay. It's between you guys. All right. Jeff? Zoolander. Oh. What is he doing Zoolander?
Starting point is 01:09:02 He plays himself at the beginning. I don't remember that. He plays with himself? No, he's Gary Shandling at the beginning of that movie, like when they're doing the Red Corbett stuff. Oh, okay. Good pull. Well, he was really good friends with Warren Beatty,
Starting point is 01:09:14 so he had a small part in Reds. No, we didn't. You're out, but just for this round, you'll be back. Sam? Hurley Burley. Oh, that's right. With Sean Penn. Very good.
Starting point is 01:09:32 Good poll. Thank you. Okay, I'll go ahead and say it. Maybe I won't. Yeah, I'm out. Jeff? Maybe this will help. Hang on.
Starting point is 01:09:52 This is the theme to Gary's show. That's not going to help. My stepmother is an alien. Really? Yeah. Listen to the applause. What is he doing that? He's the real dad. He's Listen to the applause. What is he doing that? He's the real dad.
Starting point is 01:10:08 He's married to the alien. Some people clap, so nobody's arguing with you. No, he's not in it. Hey, what about Love Affair? He is in Love Affair. I fucking hate this dude. This dude's on his fucking phone. Oh, way to take the side of the host.
Starting point is 01:10:34 Real strong stance. Real solid backbone. I don't want your fucking donuts. You realize that this means Sam wins this round and that he's going to say an actor that no one's ever heard of. I will keep it fun and fair. How about that? A celebrity. Those are Sam's trademarks, keeping it fun and fair.
Starting point is 01:10:57 That's what it says. That's the Kevin Pollak chat show tagline. Fun and fair. Like fair and balanced, but it's just fun and fair. It's reasonable. Yeah. A reasonable chat show. Let's go ahead and let Sam win this one with another Gary Marshall.
Starting point is 01:11:13 Gary Shanling. I don't know that I have to name another one, do I? Might as well. No, I don't think I can unless I try my... Yeah, use your life on him. I have one. Justin? The Dictator. There you go. He's in The Dict Oh, sorry. Justin? The Dictator. There you go. He's in The Dictator? God damn it.
Starting point is 01:11:28 All right. The Dictator. There you go. Was he in that movie where they repeat the joke over and over and over again? Was he in that? The Aristocrats? The Aristocrats? Yes.
Starting point is 01:11:37 Undercover Brother? That's the one I was trying to think. All right, so... So, yeah, Jeff, don't forget you have a lifeline, because you never used yours, right? Did my... You just blurted out a wrong answer. No, I blurted out what I thought was a correct answer. Right, because were you listening earlier,
Starting point is 01:12:01 what planet are you from? Is that what made you think he's also in that whatever one you said? I might not have heard. I'm assuming Sam said it. I think so, yeah. I might have been thinking of that movie. Yeah, I think that's what happened.
Starting point is 01:12:17 Yeah, so I didn't, I would have used my lifeline if I had known I didn't know the answer. I just thought I did. Okay. You said it in a very unsure way, so I'm just reminding you for the next round. Because Sam gets to start us off.
Starting point is 01:12:36 Fun and fair. Steve Martin. That's super fun and fair, but we just did him. Oh. So it would be unfair to you, because I'm really good at Steve Martin. Ah, okay. but we just did him. Oh. So it would be unfair to you because I'm really good at Steve Martin. Ah, okay. Because we just did it. See?
Starting point is 01:12:49 Oh, man. Sorry. I like Steve Martin. It's got to come from me. I'm just trying to be fun and fair. I appreciate that. Yeah, so pick somebody else. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:00 How about Quentin Tarantino? Okay, that's weird. Because he's a director, we can name the movies he's directed and the movies he's acted in, which I think would be very fun. Thank you very much. All right, Sam. How has someone in the crowd, by the way, not said that up until now? I think that's a great suggestion.
Starting point is 01:13:32 What's that? Tarantino. No, we've played Tarantino before. Oh, you have? Even with acting, he's got 15 credits max. All right. Well, how long do you want the shit to go? No, it's just the idea is to pick somebody that's got a shit ton of
Starting point is 01:13:47 credit so that it can be, you know, so it can go for a while, but that's fine. Okay. I mean, you picked it. Okay. I mean, I can't sit here all day with all your bad picks. Do you want to pick another one? Maybe someone else will win this round. Yeah, maybe. That would be...
Starting point is 01:14:03 So let's just fucking do it. What's happening? Inglourious bastards. Can I go next? No. Fuck! I'm next. Reservoir Dogs. Jeff.
Starting point is 01:14:21 Uh... Kill Bill Volume 1. I don't understand what people decide they clap for in this game. I think they clap if they like the movie. Pulp Fiction. People hear one that they like.
Starting point is 01:14:39 What did you say? Big Pulp Fiction fans. Kill Bill Volume 2. Big Pulp Fiction fans. Kill Bill Volume 2. Alright, I'm out. Please stop yelling words from the audience. There's no reason for any words.
Starting point is 01:14:55 Nancy! Nancy! When you say it in that voice, Sam gets real excited. Is there... Is that a 60-year-old? You throw that old lady quiver to your voice, and Sam's like, oh, I found her. I'm a reverse cougar.
Starting point is 01:15:12 Sam. Sam. It's me, Ethel. Oh, Ethel. I said 60, not 80. Come on. Margaret. Wait, but somebody named Ethel still has to be a baby
Starting point is 01:15:27 and grow up to an old person. But it is a total old person name. It's a total old person name. I don't think that name was popular 60 years ago. She's so old, you have to check her pulse. Ethel has a daughter named Margaret. That's fair. I'm into Margaret.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Come on, Sammy. So you went volume two? Yeah, I went volume two. All right, Sammy. So you went volume two? Yeah, I went volume two. All right, I'll go Jackie Brown. GF? I'm going to go with From Dusk Till Dawn. Those are all the ones I know. I know one, but I can't remember the name.
Starting point is 01:16:04 But I remember one word in the title. Use your lifeline. And what's happening? What are you saying? Why are you... Oh, there's a... You even have a dog? Nancy.
Starting point is 01:16:14 There's a dog in here, but they don't allow donuts? Hey, you want to throw that dog? Is that what you're saying? But that's who you were talking to was the dog? You weren't talking to yourself, right? Who were you talking to? Maybe the dog was talking. Anyway.
Starting point is 01:16:35 Maybe the dog was trying to guess. Somebody over there was saying something. But Carmen could use her... I'm going to use Nancy again. Where's Nancy at again? Yeah, Desperado. I mean, come on. Oh, Yeah, Desperado. I mean, come on. Desperado. Thanks.
Starting point is 01:16:51 Django Unchained. Yeah. Alright. Alright, so that leaves me with how about a little film called The Hateful Eight? That's the one I was thinking of.
Starting point is 01:17:10 Jeff. Four Rooms. How many times can I use Nancy? That was it. Just the one time, I'm afraid. Wait, there was a Kill Bill Unshown Version 3 that never came out It went straight to DVD
Starting point is 01:17:35 No Alright, well You can't win everything, you know No, I Very frankly, I'm beginning to think I'm going to lose this, but I'm just here for the fun Well, you can't win everything. You know? Very frankly, I'm beginning to think I'm going to lose this, but I'm just here for the fun. It's just important to be fun and fair.
Starting point is 01:17:51 I'm here for you, Sammy. That's what we're here for. Planet Terror. That's an interesting approach. I don't know what to do with that. I don't think it counts. Because you're picking the half of a movie that Tarantino had nothing to do with, or he had something to do with it.
Starting point is 01:18:10 He shows up in it, in Planet Terror? Okay. All right, in that case... That's right. His dick falls off? Yeah! I thought that one was obvious. I should have saved it for later I gotta see that one again
Starting point is 01:18:30 Yeah Holy shit That's crazy Okay so I'm gonna say Destiny turns on the radio. Well done, sir. That was my deep pull. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:51 There that goes. There it goes. Jeff? True Romance. Now, wait, what do you think? Why do you think that would count? Because he wrote it? Did we say writers?
Starting point is 01:19:09 Is this a game where we say who the writer is? No. So I'll give you another chance. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Would you rather not have another chance? No, I do want that chance. Okay, so take your other chance. Then I'm going to say Death Proof.
Starting point is 01:19:29 Yeah, that was there for the taking. Okay. Sam? Grindhouse. Well, now, we've already said Planet Terror and Death Proof, so you're going to have to do better than that. How is that not official? Because you blew it by saying Planet Terror.
Starting point is 01:19:47 You already took half of a movie. So Wyatt said Grindhouse that would have covered both movies? That would have been that. Even though technically Grindhouse is two movies and a lot of trailers. Yes, but it's two different versions of those movies. Right, you're right. But Grindhouse, those movies were released
Starting point is 01:20:03 in the theater as Grindhouse. They've been released separately like in Europe. No, they're released. But Grindhouse, those movies were released in the theater as Grindhouse. They've been released separately, like in Europe. No, they were released separately here. Here? No, they didn't play individually here. Sam, I didn't get true romance. I'm pretty sure that this DVD box for Grindhouse... Yeah, I mean, you opened the door when you said Planet Terror,
Starting point is 01:20:19 but you just said half of it. All right. Because I would just say Grindhouse for the whole thing, but I didn't stop it. All right. Because I would just say Grindhouse for the whole thing, but I didn't stop it because I thought somebody else could use death proof.
Starting point is 01:20:33 Do you have anything else? Because this will be great because Carmen will be back in. We'll play another round. But if you got one... Nancy and I will be back in. If you got one, take it home.
Starting point is 01:20:43 Yeah. The birthday party. I'm going to my phone. Is that right? What did he do in that? Acted and And who else is in it? Oh, I couldn't tell you.
Starting point is 01:21:07 You're just really hoping that he has a part in a movie called The Birthday Party? Uh-huh. I'm excited to see what the results say. No. From 1968? No. Okay 1968? No. Okay, so not that birthday party. They were recent.
Starting point is 01:21:29 Not the short from 1931? No. Not some movie from 2003 that's called The Birthday Party? It's Tiffany's 21st birthday and she's having a party with her closest friends. There's lots of drinking
Starting point is 01:21:45 and kissing and as the party progresses, dot, dot, dot, I'm not even going to click on it. Written and directed by... Does everyone get murdered? Written and directed
Starting point is 01:21:55 by Lincoln Kupchak and no mention of Quentin Tarantino whatsoever. It's a different title? It's a different title? Oh, you got the title wrong. Oh, you got the title wrong. I think I know what it is. Put your phone
Starting point is 01:22:06 away, Sam. Very well. Am I still in this? Was he in the anniversary party? Is that what you're thinking of? No? Okay, I'm out again. Jeff? Lifeline. Oh. You really think your lifeline's gonna be of help?
Starting point is 01:22:22 Now, wait a minute. Don't I get to use my lifeline? You could have if you'd done it when it was your turn. But hang on. Everyone else is out, wait a minute. Don't I get to use my lifeline? You could have if you'd done it when it was your turn. But hang on. No, but everyone else is out. Wait a second. Don't I get a second guess like Jeff did? A second guess for why? Well, because I said Grindhouse, and you said no.
Starting point is 01:22:35 But the... What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? Shut up! That's my lifeline. That's my lifeline. But we're not... I'm not...
Starting point is 01:22:43 We're talking about this other thing, and she's just yelling out a title. Is that the title you want to go with? Yeah. What do you mean? Stop saying words from the audience. I beg of you. I know it's a participatory show, but just don't chime in all the time with everything. Let us do this.
Starting point is 01:23:10 Let me finish my fucking stupid argument with Sam. No, it's fine. Doug, I'll concede. Jeff can win the point. We'll play another round. I let him do another one because you could argue that, you know, we didn't say you can't say movies that he just wrote because how few of those are there?
Starting point is 01:23:23 They're not many of them. And we didn't bring it up, but that's what I'm saying. So that's out, and the other one's out. What's the other one? Natural Born Killers. Oh yeah, of course. So where are we at now? Jeff, got the answer from the audience? Yes. You want to use it?
Starting point is 01:23:39 Sure. What is it? I'm still the last one to name one if I don't get this right That's a good point Yeah But what he's in Sin City? No he's a
Starting point is 01:23:53 I don't think he is Guest director Oh he directed a part of it Yeah Okay Yeah I mean it's a stretch
Starting point is 01:24:02 But Jeff was still Jeff still prevailed either way right? Sure sure sure, sure. All right. My best friend's birthday party. Yep, there it is. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:24:17 Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts. You were so close. That's not it, Jeff. My best friend's wedding singer. Mash-ups? What? Oh, that's when I'm going to hate myself. Was this the part where I said, give us more names?
Starting point is 01:24:38 Did I say that already? I don't remember saying that. You guys are so fucking chatty. I don't know what it is. I don't know what I could possibly do to stop it. My best friend's birthday is what it's called, so you were also wrong, so shut up for the rest of the show.
Starting point is 01:24:57 I love people jumping in with incorrectness. We never asked you to speak, and then you say something wrong. I don't know what to do with that. I'm at a real crossroads with this show might just perform it for myself in my basement who's your favorite actor Carmen
Starting point is 01:25:14 like who do you think you can name the most people the most I like where this is going no because then I'll still lose so pick somebody who you don't know any of their movies so we can move this along. Let's do the first person that came to mind was... I'm just taking a suggestion from you. I might still...
Starting point is 01:25:34 You're going to do whatever you're going to do very quickly. We don't have a lot of time. Do it. Go. God damn it. Who do you want to do? Bruce Willis. Have we done Bruce Willis before? I don't know, but each time it's somebody's turn, they get two fucking seconds,
Starting point is 01:25:50 because we don't have time to do 50 movies, and he's in over 50 movies. Okay. All right, go. Jeff. Die Hard. Sin City. Right?
Starting point is 01:26:12 Yes! Carbon's our winner. No. Die Hard 2. What'd you say? Die Hard 2. No! Sorry. Die Harder.
Starting point is 01:26:22 I'll go with... Disney's The Kid. Die Hard with a Vengeance. Oh, come on. Die Hard with a Challenge. Oh, I named another one. Say your final guess. What?
Starting point is 01:26:45 I named one that I realize he's in. All right. Pulp Fiction. Yeah. Live Free or Die Hard. Guys, I'm a fan of the series. That's a good one. Big fan.
Starting point is 01:26:59 Me too. I like the fourth one a lot. The fourth one is the best after the first one, and then the third one, and then the fourth one a lot. The fourth one is the best after the first one, and then the third one, and then the fourth one. Hmm, okay. Oh! I'm going to say Blind Date. I'm going to say A Good Day to Die Hard.
Starting point is 01:27:17 Damn right. Enough! Can I say The Second Sin City? You can if you know what it's called, and I'm not even sure if he's in it. So take your chances. Sin City with a vengeance. Sin City with a vengeance.
Starting point is 01:27:40 So that's it? That's all you got? No, they're in there, but I just can't find them. Four rooms. Four rooms. That's correct. I'll keep the numbers. The sixth sense. Of course.
Starting point is 01:28:15 I mean, it's amazing how many Bruce Willis movies have already come up today. Unbreakable. Last Man Standing. Am I still in the game? One time we played this and nobody said Last Man Standing and people gave me such shit about it. You guys are so dumb. You didn't even say Last Man Standing when you were playing Last Man Standing.
Starting point is 01:28:38 Do you want to use your lifeline? Oh, I can use her again for this new round? Yeah, every round. Nancy! Twelve monkeys. Good job, round. Nancy! 12 monkeys. Good job, Nancy. They're so obvious. 12 monkeys.
Starting point is 01:28:51 Sam, Hudson Hawk. Mm-hmm. I'll get this one out of the way. Armageddon. Armageddon tired of this game. How is this possible? Hostage. What?
Starting point is 01:29:17 Now Carmen's out. Oh, I don't get one more Nancy? What? No more Nancy. No more Nancy. Alright. No. I'm sure there's an adventure movie I can't think of. Yeah, he's had some adventures.
Starting point is 01:29:38 Was he in a movie with fire? I bet he was. Or a movie where he got fired. House? Six, eight, one. Did that really just happen? No. Okay, good.
Starting point is 01:29:58 Thought I heard something. Carmen's out. Sam. Sorry, Nancy. Such a cop out But cop out You know I don't really mind That Carmen got eliminated
Starting point is 01:30:16 Because death becomes her Oh Keep it going 16 blocks Yeah And what do you get Keep it going. 16 blocks. Yeah. And what do you get? Most deaf. Moonlighting the movie.
Starting point is 01:30:32 Yeah. Sam? Mercury Rising. Probably should have saved that one. With Sarah Jessica Parker, right? No. No? Oh, that's the other one?
Starting point is 01:30:46 Okay. I'm going to go with... Ocean's Twelve. Oh. As himself. Bruce Willis as himself. Moonrise Kingdom. Ooh, that's a good one.
Starting point is 01:31:01 Striking Distance. That's the other one I was thinking of. Striking D. Also as himself, the player. The player. Oh, the last Boy Scout. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:21 That's one of my favorites, Willis's. Justin, what do you got for me? Oh, he's using his lifeline. The fifth element, of course. Oh, man. I think he was in a western-y thing Called Sundown Might not be the right title Something like that though
Starting point is 01:31:56 Okay settle down I'm out Jeff Heart to war Yeah Sam We gotta go out, Jeff. Heart to war. Yeah. Sam. We gotta go. The show's over.
Starting point is 01:32:10 We really do. We need a winner. Oh, man. I really should never drink and do this show. It's a terrible idea for me. As soon as he got here, he was like, you need something to drink? Yeah, I don't know why. It always seems like a great idea when I'm like, yeah, I'll have a beer. I'll be fine. And then I'm not fine several beers later.
Starting point is 01:32:31 This was a good run, though, Sam. This was a good run. And I'm happy to let Jeff Tate have it. He's a fucking monster. Oh, that's very gracious of you. Yeah, buddy. You are a monster. Mostly when you pull the wool down over your face.
Starting point is 01:32:46 Yeah, you're very scary. You're scary looking when you do that. Let's see. How about... Oh, God, it's terrible. I know there's literally 30 movies. There's more for sure. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:59 But we got to go. We got to get out of here. There's a few more. There's a few more. You got like at least five more, right? I got two more that Kevin Pollak's in. I know, right? Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:33:07 I'm literally thinking of trying to think of those because I know Kevin's worked with him a shit ton. He's been, according to this, he's been in 111 movies. That's too many movies. But some of these must be like, some of them are like Late Show with David Letterman. Right, and some of them, he was on Friends. And that 70s show.
Starting point is 01:33:22 Oh, yeah, the whole nine yards. Jeff, go. Wow, the whole nine yards. Jeff, go. Wow. The whole 10 yards. Sam. Oh, I hate when that happens. Oh, fuck. I found out the movie,
Starting point is 01:33:40 the title that I was trying to think of. Oh my God. It's just ridiculous, the movies we haven't seen. I know, right? I can't wait to hear it. Three seconds, Sam. Jeff wins. I'm not going to do this. One more, Jeff.
Starting point is 01:33:57 Color of Night. Yes, I'm looking right at it. Perfect Stranger. Yeah, we don't have time for you to just stand there. Oh, Bonfire of the Vanities! Fuck, that's the one I was thinking of. Yeah, we don't have time for you to just stand there. Oh, Bonfire of the Vanities. Fuck, that's the one I was thinking of. Nobody's Fool. He was in The Verdict way back in the day.
Starting point is 01:34:12 Loaded Weapon 1. Billy Bathgate. Mortal Thoughts. Look Who's Talking. Look Who's Talking 2. In Country. And the one I was thinking of, not Sundown. Sunset.
Starting point is 01:34:28 Jeff Tate is our winner, you guys. Oh, yeah, Rick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't need any more things. He's in a lot of movies. Did I mention he's in 111 things? Where's the person you're playing for, Jeff? Where's she at? Ashley, come get all your stuff.
Starting point is 01:34:54 Ashley! Hey, can I keep that name tag? If you want to. Oh, thank you. But pass it down here. Oh, I don't need the shithead. Will you sign it for me? Carmen and Sam, pass yours down.
Starting point is 01:35:12 Yeah, the shithead on Sam's is terrible. But I got to say it. That's how it works. Plugs, Jeff? Yes. April 13th, Chicago. The 15th and 16th, I'm at the Burning Bridges Comedy Festival In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Starting point is 01:35:27 The 21st, Los Angeles At the Belly Room At the Comedy Store Then I'm in Toronto and Montreal May 2nd and 3rd June 16th, I'm in Brooklyn That guy wants you to come to Canada Even though he's sitting in San Jose right now
Starting point is 01:35:42 And also I am going to Canada May 2nd and 3rd. All right. Justanotherclown.com is my website. Zipzoo Apparel, where you can buy shirts and money goes to speakersilence.org. All right, Carmen, what do you got coming up? Are you done?
Starting point is 01:36:02 Yeah, he's done. We're done. The show, we're over. We've got to end the show. I am Rooster Teeth Feathers tonight, 8 and 10.30, and then everything else is on my website. And watch my Conan.
Starting point is 01:36:11 I was just on it. Okay, bye. Thanks. Searcher on YouTube, Carmen Lynch, with a Y in Lynch, not in Carmen. Sam.
Starting point is 01:36:23 You can see me on Kevin Pollack's chat show. Download us on iTunes. Check us out on YouTube. We have Jamie Lee Curtis coming up tomorrow. Oh, boy. You can watch that live and be part of the conversation. Yeah, that's right. I'll be there because I'm driving. Not drunk, though.
Starting point is 01:36:39 And I don't know. It's just on Children's Hospital. You can maybe get that on VOD if you have that sort of thing. One more time for all of my guests, Jeff Tate, Carmen Lynch, and Sam, the man, Levine, Lil' Wolverine. Thank you to San Jose Improv and to everybody who came out today. The first time was a good time, I think. And also, come get some more donuts if you guys want them.
Starting point is 01:37:07 And as always, Gary Shandling's murderer is a shithead. So yeah, I don't know what that's about. And the people in Walmart are shitheads. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies

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