Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine, Dustin Ybarra and Jacob Sirof guest
Episode Date: February 12, 2016Live from the American Comedy Company in San Diego, Doug welcomes Samm Levine, Dustin Ybarra and Jacob Sirof to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Priva...cy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Oh, shit.
Coming to you once again
from the most patriotic
comedy club in the world.
The most American
comedy company in the world.
It's the American
Comedy Company. It's Sweet Home
San Diego!
We're doing it again.
Thank you for the beverage.
It's not my beloved Tito's.
It's my fallback Kettle One.
But that's cool.
Don't feel sad for me, you guys.
There's a lot of hardship in the world,
but this is not a bad situation.
We were just here on December 27th of last year,
which sounds like a long time ago,
but last year was, you know, a month and ten days ago.
And so I just thought,
let's see how soon we can go back to San Diego.
Like, you know, can we sell it out again?
And we did a pretty good job.
I feel like Donald Trump right now.
We got a lot of delegates came out tonight.
You guys are a great caucus.
You're doing a great job.
And we're going to make
American Comedy Company great again.
So it's Wednesday, February 10th,
2016. Let me see your name tags,
Sandy D.
Oh, you guys always bring
it. You always bring it strong.
Lots of name tags.
Always a couple of weirdos in the front row
looking around like, what's happening?
Like you got here early
and you also didn't bring a name tag.
I love it. Oh, shit, I'm spilling
all over myself. Alright, the Grinch
who did what?
Christamus, because your name's
Christa? I love it.
Did you bring that name tag when we did the show
in December? Okay, that was more
appropriate then.
But I still like it.
You put it in the work, and you didn't get picked?
No, okay, so good luck
today.
You're gonna need it.
And you're sitting
next to Staceballs,
which, how can that not get chosen?
It's like Spaceballs,
but it's Staceballs.
It's pretty sweet.
Aramole House?
Adam.
Adamole House.
And then, it's not
a poster for Animal House, it's just
a poster you made, and
my face is on it. Am I in a toga?
Yeah, I am? Okay, that's good.
Empire Strikes Matt.
Wouldn't that be crazy
if that's all the Empire wanted to do
was slap your face?
What a weird trilogy, yes.
It would, yeah.
No one would want to even bother
with the prequels.
Miss Congeniality?
Melissa Congeniality. What are you? Meliss Congeniality.
Meliss Congeniality. I like it.
And you put your face over Sandy Bullock's?
Nice job.
Well, great job, everybody.
There's lots of good ones for my guests
to choose from.
Don't feel bad
if you don't get chosen, because
I don't tell them what to do,
and they make weird picks sometimes.
Time for Doug plugs.
If you're in the L.A. area this Sunday,
come to Doug Lowe's Movies at 420
at Meltdown Comics in Hollywood
for a special Valentine's show.
Lovers and loners, welcome.
Ten bucks gets you in
Fort Lauderdale I'll be at the
improv in Fort really
do you spend
half the year in Fort Lauderdale and half in
San Diego because I would be
very jealous of that lifestyle
and how would you choose which half
to do what can you believe it was like
fucking 90 degrees
here in San Diego today?
It's crazy.
That's kind of global warming I can get around.
It's the cold part, the extra cold part I don't like.
So yeah, Fort Lauderdale is at the Improv there
in the Swamplands on February 25th and 27th
at the Hard Rock Hotel.
DouglasMovies.com for more info.
That's DouglasMovies.com.
From the corrections department,
Morgan Freeman was in Street Smart,
not Street Wise.
I should have caught that one,
but I'm not that street savvy.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief tweets about movies.
At Spurple Films,
purple with an S in front of it,
tweeted,
Unstoppable should have been called Trainee Day.
This has been Tweet Relief.
King Kong's got nothing on me edition uh let's look in the prize bag you
guys i'm gonna take a drink because i've been holding this thing like i was gonna take a drink
and i just wasn't doing it i know i know how you guys love to watch me drink
i usually say no fruit but like a lot of times it just seems weird to add that. It's easier to just take the fruit out when you get it.
We got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt in the prize bag.
I think it's like an XXL, so that's fun for sleeping in.
We got a couple of VHS tapes that I brought all the way from Los Angeles.
We've got Buffy the Vampire
Slayer.
An episode called Phases.
From 1998.
And we've got an episode
of the Gilmore Girls.
Yeah. Very fun title
as they often had with Gilmore Girls.
It's called Forgiveness and Stuff.
Sure, that was a great episode that you'll enjoy watching.
I was on at midnight last night,
and one of the parting gifts they give all the comedians,
regardless of whether or not they win or lose,
they can't all be me.
They can't all be tied for the most wins of all time.
They give you this weird water bottle.
H2 Go Force.
It seems like it's all right,
but I'm not ready for that in my life.
And then we got some CDs. we got Fatboy Slim Praise You
we got uh Faith No More
Album of the Year is what it's called I'm not just bragging about it. And then remember
Sugar Ray?
Yeah, rest in peace,
Sugar Ray.
Oh, this is a fun game of Jenga.
I got going here.
Alright, and then we got all the stuff.
I got one more thing I want to show you once my guests
get out here. And then they
brought stuff as well.
And they all came down from Los Angeles to participate tonight.
I think you guys are going to... Did you see them sneaking in this door over here?
So you already know who they are.
Please welcome Dustin Ibarra, Jacob Seroff, and Sam the Ma'am Levine.
A.K.A.
Lil Wolverine
Yeah we're not fucking around
We all took advantage
Of the 405 freeway
Or the 5 I went all 5 We all took advantage of the 405 freeway.
Yeah.
Or the five.
I went all five.
I did both.
A little both.
I like it.
Jacob, you might want to switch with Sam.
Do you mind switching with him?
No.
Because Jacob's got a cocktail, and there's nothing for him to put it on in the seat that he's in.
So if you guys could switch, that'd be awesome.
Do you want this? Okay.
Or you can move the stool.
That's an even better idea.
Move this.
Stay where you are, but move that stool.
No, no, backwards.
Move it in between Dustin and Jacob.
I wasn't going to put the drink down at any point.
Oh, you were just going to hold it like fucking Neal Hamburger or some shit?
I'm always trying out new styles, Bill.
Thanks, Sam.
All right.
Yeah, okay.
Dude, that, like, freaked me out just now.
What did?
Just the whole movement and everything.
I was just, like, that old...
Like, I stayed here the whole time, like, waiting.
Like, what do I do?
And they all moved, and we're in the same spots now.
Yeah.
That's why they are volunteer firefighters,
and you sit at home doing whatever it is you're doing.
Star Wars Battlefront, actually.
There you go.
I almost said video games, but...
I didn't want to judge or predetermine anything.
But let's meet our guests
in order from the very opposite of me.
It's Sam Levine, everybody.
Thank you very much, San Diego.
Thank you very much.
Sam's one of the very few people in the world
that I call by a nickname
or that I gave a nickname.
And in his case, he's so great,
I gave him two different nicknames.
Neither of them make any sense, really.
Although you are looking very Wolverine-y today.
Thank you.
I will say that Lil' Wolverine has caught on in so many other aspects of my life outside of this podcast.
It's charming.
Sam the Ma'am, not catching on as much elsewhere.
It shouldn't. It makes no sense.
Why are you the ma'am?
Because man and Sam don't rhyme.
It's just my way.
What?
It's just my way of kind of telling people about the double M's in Sam
because they misspell your name all the time, dummies that don't pay attention.
That's all right.
It's my cross to bear.
There's only two M's in ma'am because there's one at the beginning and the end.
But bottom line is I've given you two nicknames.
And I'm very grateful.
Yeah.
And what have you been working on lately?
What's going on?
I've been shockingly busy and I think several of the things will be available to be seen this year.
and I think several of the things will be available to be seen this year.
One of them is a streaming series called Crunch Time,
which I wish I could tell you where it's going to stream,
but the one thing I can tell you is it's from Rooster Teeth,
which some people know what that means. Yeah, they've got a movie out called Laser Team that's very funny.
And so if you go to see Laser Team, I think you'll see the trailer for Crunch Time,
which is a streaming series I did
with them in Austin last summer,
which is fucking awesome.
Yeah, that sounds
great, working with them in Austin.
You can see me on Children's Hospital
this Friday.
Oh, oh!
I almost forgot.
I'm glad you got it in, Horshack.
Woo-hoo!
Nice.
I like a 70s TV reference.
All right.
Well, thank you for being here, and please tell us what you brought for the prize bag.
Oh, I only bring the best for this prize bag, Doug.
I think you know that.
You always bring good stuff.
Always.
Let's see what we got today.
Let's see what we got today.
It's even a surprise to you.
All right.
We've got The Mist.
Oh, directed by Frank Darabont.
Frank Darabont's The Mist, which makes almost every top ten list of worst endings ever.
Oh, really?
People don't like the ending.
If you don't know the ending of The Mist, don't spoil it for someone whose life is about to be ruined.
Let them enjoy it on their own.
We've got Eddie Izzard's definite article stand-up special.
Oh, okay.
Is he in a dress in that one? He's great.
Yep, he's definitely cross-dressed in that one.
Okay.
Oh, this is a movie I'd never heard of.
How can that be?
I don't think anyone's ever heard of it.
Maybe you're in it.
That's true. With this cast...
How dare you.
With this cast,
it is entirely possible I'm in it and
don't know it. The movie is called Silver
City. Has you
ever heard of this? It sounds familiar.
It sounds so vaguely familiar. Judd Nelson?
No. Listen to this cast.
There's like 20 names. I'll just rattle them off.
Maria Bello, Thora Birch, Chris Cooper, Richard Dreyfuss, Miguel Ferrer, Daryl Hannah, Chris
Christopherson, Mary Kay Place, Tim Roth, Billy Zane.
So that's what happened to Thora Birch.
Who directed that thing?
Written and directed by John Sayles.
Oh, it's a John Sayles movie.
Yeah, okay.
That makes sense.
I don't know.
I haven't watched it.
I didn't even unwrap it.
But whoever wins this, watch it and tweet at me.
Let me know what the hell this movie is.
And last but not least, I think we all remember right around the turn of the century,
the greatest TV show to ever grace the airwaves, the Jamie Kennedy experiment.
I've got here disc three of season one which anyone will tell you
is probably the best disc
they're just gonna get hooked on it
and then not have the rest of the series
good luck
yeah
367 minutes of pure entertainment
but I'll tell you that
I'll tell you about that Jamie Kennedy
is he really
in those undercover things he really commits to it and really makes things uncomfortable.
He's really good at it.
Yeah, he was punking people before Punk'd.
Was this before Punk'd?
It's got to be, right?
Kind of around the same time, I think.
Yeah, but his was classier because it was on network?
No, that's not.
Also, in Punk'd, they'd have a bunch of people that you just wouldn't recognize,
but he had to have disguises and characters because they want people going, hey, Jamie Kennedy's being weird to me.
Dustin Ibarra's here, everybody.
Thank you.
First appeared on this program a few years back in Dallas, Texas.
Yeah, man.
He showed up on a recommendation that I'm glad I accepted.
Ah, thank you.
And ever since then, you've been working like crazy.
You're in stuff all the time.
You were in that TV show that was on last summer.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Are they going to make more of that?
Yeah, man.
No, they're not.
People said that was good, though.
Are you talking about the player?
Wayward Pines or something?
No, I wasn't in that.
What are you talking about?
You were in something that was on in the summer that some cool director was behind it.
Doug, I've been in three things.
No, I wasn't.
What was the TV thing?
Gotham.
Well, Gotham, of course.
People know Gotham.
Yeah, Gotham and The Player and Goldbergs.
That was all this year.
Goldbergs.
Yeah, you're on Goldbergs with Jeff Garlin.
Yeah, man. He likes you.
He's awesome. Does he? Oh, that's good to know.
Damn.
Hollywood. You're like, does this guy like me?
Is he trying to fuck me? Like, what's going on here?
I don't know. You don't know.
I texted him a completely loaded question.
I was like, how do you like
what do you think of Dustin Ibarra?
Are you serious? That's crazy.
And the text he wrote back was just three words.
Great guy.
Funny.
Yeah.
Oh, dude.
Whoa, man.
That's really confusing because in comedy, great guy is usually a code for not funny.
Right.
So that's why he followed it up with funny, just to be clear.
You know what's funny?
I don't think he's ever seen me, my set before, ever.
So I don't know.
No, on the set, you were amusing him.
Oh, yeah.
Just look at you for crying out loud.
Yeah, I know.
I'm craft service.
I was like, look at this sandwich.
I'm going to slip it on a banana peel.
Yeah, you're fun to be around.
And Jeff enjoys fun, that's for sure.
Nice.
He's the world's biggest baby.
and Jeff enjoys fun, that's for sure.
Nice.
He's the world's biggest baby.
And so what'd you bring for the prize bag?
Okay.
A pink bag?
Yeah, I know I've failed before a lot of times.
You have?
Yeah, I remember last time I didn't have it. That used Band-Aid was a weird thing to bring.
Yeah, well, it was the potting soil.
I had soil in my car because I was trying to grow weed that week.
And I forgot how it works.
So I was like, ah, my prize is potting soil.
And it was like everyone just knew, like, Dustin, come on, man.
So anyway, I'm trying to kind of.
Come on, man.
Yeah.
Get it together for the prize pack.
Trying to redeem that so i got a uh you know heart shape
valentine's uh box of chocolates that's not all either i've got a dozen bar cd i recorded on my
iphone i use it on the road to make five dollars um it's pretty bad like just the quality is
horrible so you know don't try to be like,
show your friend.
Be happy you got a free horrible quality.
Yeah, exactly.
I think I did Kansas City this year
in a bachelor party and they gave me these
penis...
Little penis suckers.
Little penis suckers.
It's like popsicles of penises.
That's kind of goofy, right guys?
Yeah, it is. Hereicles of penises, so that's kind of goofy, right, guys? Yeah, it is kind of goofy.
Oh, and here's the final punchline.
Get ready for this.
Laxatives.
Come on.
That's kind of funny, right?
Why don't you pick those up?
Because people, you know, you got to poop some.
After all those cocks and chocolate, you're going to be backed up.
Yeah, exactly.
So I got a CVS brand.
It's not Dura-Lax, but it'll do all right, you know?
It's the same active ingredient.
That's all that matters.
Why do you have to have 10?
That's like a dog danger bag.
Fucking choke on a dildo stick or eat too much chocolate.
You can see the dick lodged in the esophagus right here on the x-ray.
And Jacob Sirov's here, everybody.
Pass me your prizes, Dustin.
Oh, sorry.
No, that's not me.
That's got like ginger ale or some shit in it.
Is that you, Jacob?
What's your drink?
What's your drink?
Jameson and ginger tonight.
Oh, okay.
There you go.
Usually it's Jameson on the rocks, but I was trying not to get too...
Did you sprinkle a little red hair in there?
To make it a true ginger beverage?
I got it before they did.
Yeah, yeah.
You got it and didn't acknowledge it at all.
Just sat there.
Now, I have a nickname for you, if you don't mind me.
It's going to be revealed.
Giving people nicknames has never been my thing,
but I'm inspired tonight because I gave Sam two,
and you and Dustin don't have any for me.
So here's my nickname for you and see what you think of it.
Jake Jake.
Oh, like Jack Jack from The Incredibles.
That's one way to look at it.
But I was thinking a bit more like you're a Jar Jar Apologist.
Oh, I see.
So I call you Jake Jake.
I'll take it.
I'll take it then.
All right.
I own my Jar Jar.
We'll try it out later when we're out drinking tonight down here in the Gaslamp Quarter.
I'll just be like, hey, Jake, Jake.
I'll take it.
Then people will be like, why do you call him that?
And I'll go, because he's an asshole.
Mesa like, mesa like.
Did anybody ever make like a fake Jar Jar Mesa horny song?
Like they could have totally done that.
You just fucked it up because now somebody's going to. Yeah, I love that idea. Oh, Miso horny song. They could have totally done that. You just fucked it up because now somebody's going to.
Yeah, I love that idea.
Oh, Miso horny.
Miso gungan.
Somebody must have. That's like a quick Google search.
It's got to happen. Search it up
later, you guys. Don't turn on your
devices now because we're in the American
comedy company. We're only
communist techs during the show.
I sent my tattoo artist
reference photos for my Jar Jar tattoo recently.
Wait, what?
I sent my tattoo artist reference photos.
You're going to get a Jar Jar tattoo?
Yeah, I told... Last time I was on the show, maybe people thought I was just threatening.
You probably brought it up, but yeah, we thought you were kidding around.
No, that's like... I was going to get...
Were you going to put it right next to the swastika?
No.
Nothing goes next to the swastika.
That stands alone.
That's a back piece.
That gets a cheek
all of its own.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
It says self-hating Jew
in Hebrew
right underneath it.
That would've made
American.
All right, Dustin,
are you ready
for your nickname?
Uh-oh.
Yeah, let's do it.
What's up?
Dustybara.
See?
It saves time
and space
Because my last name
Starts with Y and if you say
Okay Dustin add a Y to that
Dustin Ibarra then take it away
Like put it together Dusty Barra
Yeah right like it just makes sense
Yeah I thought of that I was like
How many hours have I wasted pronouncing the N
In your first name
If I could just skip right to Ibarra.
It's all Mexicana anyway.
I apologize.
But it also reminds me of, I remember,
kookaburra sits in the old oak tree.
Just change it to dustyburra sits, and you're good to go.
I haven't, I don't, no.
I don't.
What'd you bring for the prize bag, Jacob?
Okay, I got this Funny or Die hat.
The Funny or Die one's nothing to do with me personally,
but I was at this party.
I did Sketch Fest in San Francisco.
Have they banned you from participating?
No, no, no, I just mean they don't give a fuck about me.
But I was doing this festival up in San Francisco,
and it was the weirdest swag
because there was the after party at Madame Tussauds,
like Wax Museum in the Fisherman's Wharf,
and they had them on the wax museum, on the wax statues.
And people were just taking them.
So it was like, I guess this is free.
And so I took one for one of you guys.
So I got that.
There you go.
And then also there were some fake tattoos.
Pretty sweet hat.
Yeah, it is.
It's a nice hat.
There's nothing like, today it was 80 degrees out.
Nothing like walking around in a black hat.
If you were the Strokes in 2001, that would be the coolest thing in the world.
The mesh trucker hat.
That was in at one point, I remember.
Then I got this, you can have this good dinosaur child meal bag from Safeway.
I'm sorry, from Subway.
Good dinosaur.
It's not a good dinosaur bag.
It's from the movie Good Dinosaur.
It's the good.
It's the good dinosaur bag.
The listeners might have been like, what's so good
about that dinosaur bag?
The movie didn't do too well. But in the bag is
a Bible. There is a copy
of the book of
the game. I don't know if you guys have heard of this.
It's a book.
It's a book that I ghost wrote
under the name Neil Strauss.
Hey book, you're ugly, but
I'd still fuck you.
Imagine how hot you could be if you lost
like seven pounds.
The real story behind this book is that
when comedian Moshe Kashin
moved in with his girlfriend, I took his old apartment
and this was just in there, it's been sitting in there
the whole time, and I was like,
I don't know what to do with it. Did you read it?
No, I already know how to get laid. I don't need to fucking read
this. Alright, Mr need to fucking read this.
All right, Mr. Big Shot over here.
Well, I mean, it's not.
It's just a simple business transaction. You get enough tattoos.
You get enough varied tattoos on your body.
You'll find something you can show a girl to impress her.
But, I mean, as a Jew, I'd be remiss not to mention.
You're like, oh, you're not a fan of Popeye?
Well, how about...
$37.99 retail value on this thing, though.
So if anybody wants to...
What?
It's like gold leafed and shit.
And there's like a...
Yeah, you know how books work, right?
You don't...
I have no idea.
You don't go to a used bookstore and they're like, same price it's always been.
I don't know.
I don't even know what...
I forgot how books work.
They depreciate.
Like books aren't this...
A hardcover book, you can't sell it for the full price 20 years later.
I'm a Jew.
I can sell myself with retail.
But it is just hilarious how they made it.
It's so fancy.
It feels and looks like a Bible.
Even with the thing, like, oh, I have to remember.
This is the chapter where.
Where I'll rejoin the misogyny.
The book of mystery.
What the hell?
I forgot that was it.
Why did you move now?
You were bragging about how you never moved.
Dude, I'm not even drinking up.
I pushed.
It was an old drink.
Nothing even spilled.
Guys, just don't look at me right now, please.
Anyway, keep the bag, too.
It's nothing but just broken shards of glass and ice.
It's glass.
Don't worry about it.
Sam Levine's going to get cut.
There's no reason to...
Just take a seat.
Did you put it on the glass?
You know, these kind of antics work in your acting roles,
but, you know, try to be cool.
Dude, I can't wait.
When people hear this, they're going to be like,
Dustin was probably all crazy, like,
get this glass out of here, you son of a bitch.
Yeah, you didn't say that,
but you definitely just slapped that glass off the table.
I actually thought it was clumsy and lovable, like Jar Jar,
so I was okay with it.
I thought it was endearing.
Put my hand down.
The kids that listen to this podcast are going to love it.
Jeez, man.
I don't even know if anyone
listening will hear the glass crashing
because it's not on mic,
so it may just sound like we all flipped out for
no reason.
That's cool. But yeah, what were you drinking?
Let's get you another one. No, I don't have any. I wasn't
even drinking. Whose drink was that?
It was my empty one. Oh, it was your empty.
Okay.
See, I wanted to say that, but I was like,
they'll figure it out.
Dusty's not that crazy, you know?
But yeah, can I have a vodka soda?
There you go.
Give him something of his own to knock over.
A plastic cup, please.
Plastic.
Yes.
Thank you.
Yes, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Nerve if possible.
So all that stuff is going in the prize
bags. We got two bags now.
It's a double bagger.
And I went grocery
I was at the grocery store today
and
just looking at the
just looking at the
electric toothbrushes. The cheapo disposable electric toothbrushes.
I don't know that they're disposable.
I mean, after a certain point.
Right.
You don't buy one of these and then that's your brush for the rest of your life.
I hope not.
Yeah.
But this particular one that I'm going to put in the prize bag, is a Star Wars Kylo Ren toothbrush.
Doug, I'm not going to lie to you.
From where I'm sitting, that looks like a personal massager.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I guess all toothbrushes that are electric
could double as a personal massager.
Sure.
What are you guys talking about?
But this is not only a toothbrush,
because it comes from the Star Wars universe.
It comes with light and sound.
Well.
And Kylo Ren talks to you while you're brushing your teeth.
Does he say, I know what I do.
What does Kylo Ren say?
He says, I know what I do,
but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.
Is that the line they used for the toothbrush, I would assume?
I don't know, but it was a fun guessing game we just created.
It's like your tooth falls out.
He's like, look how old you've become.
These are good, specific Force Awakens jokes.
You guys probably didn't see the movie.
It didn't do that well.
Yeah.
900 million.
Domestic.
I've been waiting for this day for a long time.
Like, he finally
brushed your teeth again.
Been waiting for this day for a long time.
But I wish that there was an Adam Driver toothbrush
where he says stuff from Girls.
Yes!
Just, or from any, I want a toothbrush
where he's singing that song from Oscar Isaac.
Inside Llewyn Davis.
Inside Llewyn Davis.
Yeah.
Oh, where'd that one fall in the Coen Brothers?
I love that one.
That's one of my favorites.
I did like that one a lot.
My children are obsessed with that song.
They know the whole song by heart.
I played it for them as a gag.
Oh, check this out.
It's got Kylo Ren and Poe Dameron in it.
They're obsessed with that song.
What is...
Well, so you've heard it a lot.
So what is Adam Driver doing it?
What's the noise he keeps making?
He says shit like, uh-oh.
That's a lot of that.
Oh.
A lot of that type of shit.
One second, please.
You don't want your toothbrush to say that.
No, probably not.
But once you press a button, it flashes for a minute
and it brags about another thing that's going to last for a minute.
But let's see if I can get him to say something else.
That weapon is mine.
So you're brushing your teeth and he's like, that weapon's mine.
He's talking about your tongue.
He's talking about your tongue.
Oh, wait, really?
You know what I've come for.
He was fighting someone.
You know what I've come for?
That weapon is mine was not in the movie.
That's one of the many lines from the toys and trailers that didn't make it to the episode.
Oh, it's in other toys?
Well, there's a lot of toy lines that didn't make it to the actual movie. Oh, it's in other toys? Well, there's a lot of toy lines that didn't make it to the movie.
What was that?
That's just lightsaber.
I think he said et tu, Brute?
No.
That was Scott Bakula quantum leaping just then.
Wow.
Did you guys see the episode where he was in the Watts Riots?
Kylo Ren is speaking.
Sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I should respect these things.
I'm a young Padawan.
I don't know, I'm a youngling, as they say.
My tits aren't even that big.
Don't make him take off the mask,
because that is a glorious Pantene commercial.
Anyway, what were you saying?
I can't remember.
Doug loves movies!
I've been waiting for this day
for a long time.
Alright, so he's repeating himself, but
that's going in the prize bag, everybody.
Nice.
so he's repeating himself,
but that's going in the prize bag, everybody.
Nice.
All right, so real quick before we move on to the... Shut the fuck up.
I just leaned in to tell Dustin something,
and his hair touched my forehead.
It is so soft.
It's way...
I don't know if you guys can tell.
It's really soft.
Yeah, you guys want to touch it after the show?
It's just lovely.
$5, motherfucker.
No, I'm just kidding.
That'd be horrible.
No, but if you want to, $5.
Seriously.
Super soft.
It's $5 to look at it, $10 to watch you play with it.
You should, every time you're late somewhere, Dustin,
when you walk in, you should go,
I'm sorry, I was at a Tesla exhibit.
Ah, yeah.
Yeah, man.
I was touching the ball, man.
I get that.
Right?
I think your hair goes crazy.
That's what it does.
One time someone told me, man, did your hair dry explode?
And what even
that guy better have been black
he was the melkiest dude
was he black or Michael Rappaport
he was powder
your hair dry
explode
what was the last movie you saw Sam
I watched it on TV Fury I explode. What was the last movie you saw, Sam?
I watched it on TV.
Fury.
The Fury or Fury the Tank? Fury the Tank movie.
The other Brad Pitt World War II movie.
Where he has a southern accent.
Yeah.
Wants some scalps.
And weird facial scars.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you like it?
It was intense.
I didn't really know what I was expecting, so.
Yeah, it's very intense.
It was a very intense movie.
It was much more battle-centric than, say, that other.
Yeah, it was like The Revenant in a tank.
Yeah.
Do you know what?
Actually, I was thinking about that movie,
and so much of the action, you're seeing just the tank
and the gunfire of what's going on around the tank.
And as an actor, I'm watching that going, oh, so they actually had the cast in the small tank area for like seven days.
And the entire rest of production was just this tank in some field in Europe with a thousand extras.
field in Europe with a thousand extras.
You think it only took him seven days to shoot
all that dialogue
and all that dying and all that shit
for Shia LaBeouf to
sit around with his front teeth missing?
He knocked them out on purpose. I'll give him nine
days. For the movie.
That's all second team. Second unit.
They worked through the weekend
to get their portion of the
film done. But yeah, I remember appreciating how brutal that movie was.
Who directed that?
Ailes?
Johnny?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The guy who did...
I really liked End of Watch a lot, which he wrote but didn't direct.
And part of what I like about both of those movies is they are really, really brutal.
Yeah.
And.
Yeah, the deaths in that in Fury are pretty brutal.
People are laughing at that for some reason.
Dustin, what was the last movie you saw?
The Big Short was the last movie I saw.
Yeah.
People love it.
Yeah, I liked it because I'm a pretty dumb guy.
It's good to have all that shit explained to you?
Yeah, yeah.
It was.
It was like, they could have used a little more colors.
But no.
It was pretty cool.
It was like Batman was like, hey, dude, here's what's going on, Buster.
You got a Jenga.
And you know, the Ryan Gosling takes one out.
And there you go, Dusty.
And then I'm like, all right.
Did you see Wolf of Wall Street?
Yeah.
Every time they start to explain that shit in that movie,
Leonardo DiCaprio's character goes, but don't worry about it.
I'm not going to get into the details.
They just let you and the movie off the hook,
but Big Short really fucking tells you how it all works.
It doesn't.
You feel smart afterwards, too.
You do.
You feel like,
I could have a conversation with someone for a bit.
Not someone too smart,
but someone like,
hey, what's up?
You hear about the mortgage crisis?
I know we're both waiting for the bus,
but here's the thing.
Batman.
Christian Bale gives the kind of great performance
in that movie where it's like,
well, he's clearly not acting anything like Christian Bale.
He's taken on all the hair and vocal tics
and mannerisms and everything of another guy,
but that other guy isn't a person we all have access to,
so he could have been doing anybody,
but he just chose the real guy. So he had to learn how to drum isn't a person we all have access to, so he could have been doing anybody, you know?
But he just chose the real guy.
So it's like he had to learn how to drum because the guy was super into drumming to heavy metal.
That's such an actor-y.
But you know he's method.
Yeah, no, but I'm saying all that method, man,
isn't necessary.
It's not necessary when we don't even know
the guy he's playing.
We're not like, oh, he's doing a great version
of that guy we've never seen
or heard anything of before.
You're preaching to the choir, man.
Good for you!
Want me to trash
your fucking lights, man, huh?
He always has a really good sense
of humor when the hosts are on
at award shows now.
He has to sit there and laugh
and be like a sweetheart after that viral video
of him yelling at that guy.
But I don't necessarily think he was off on that one.
For one thing, he was in that horrible movie.
So that might have been around the day
that he realized the movie was going to suck.
And then the lighting guy just walks into his eyeline while he's trying to
act in this shit movie.
You know, my favorite thing about it is
the guy he was yelling at. Does anyone know his name?
The guy who was at the end of that abuse?
It was the DP, right?
And his name is, I just love his name,
Shane Hurlbutt.
See, and that shows that
he's not that bad of a guy
Because he would have been like
He would have had a field day with the name Hurlbutt
If he was like really attacking
That guy in a personal way
Yeah he would have been like
I'm kicking your butt
Out of here
Out of hurl
If Christian Bale couldn't get it
What hope do I have?
Jacob, your turn.
He was right about that, but then he hit his mom
and that was less cool than yelling at the DP
that was a dickhead. The mom thing happened before
the DP thing. Either way, that was
less...
There was a domestic abuse situation for which
he was never tried or
put in jail.
Thanks for spreading that, Jacob.
It's a weird story to be affiliated with.
You took a Jar Jar Binks doll and shoved it in that child's mouth.
Yeah, but that happened.
Are there Jar Jar Binks dolls?
Yeah, sure.
They exist?
They're just made by loners and dolls?
No, they're buried out in the Arizona desert with all those copies of E.T. for Atari.
What's that?
E.T. for Atari, everybody.
One guy.
Thank you, one guy.
Two guys.
I watched the whole documentary on that.
Did you see that?
Yeah, the Zach Penn one, yeah.
You guys know Jar Jar Binks was supposed to be a Sith Lord, right?
Am I the only one that knows this?
Well, let's talk about it.
No.
Seriously, it's a fact. Because if you notice
in all the episode ones, he's always doing like
Jedi stuff and he goes back to Gungam
or whatever. He goes in
and they're always scared of him. It's like, oh, Jar Jar,
you know? Because he was a Sith Master.
He was going to be like Yoda in the
first movies, but halfway through, everyone
was like, man, we hate Jar Jar. So George
Lucas was like, oh man, fuck Jar Jar.
You know, get
someone else in there, man. I think people were just scared
of him because they were worried he'd knock over their glasses.
Yeah.
See? Yeah. Laugh at me
like a 9-11 conspiracy theorist.
Go ahead, point, laugh,
but you know I'm telling the truth!
You know, though, I've seen you
have some awkward situations where you
actually break things with your
adamantium claws.
It's true.
It's true. Break a lot of hearts with these things.
They're smaller ones, but they still
cut.
They're little. They cut deep.
I got little claws.
Jacob, did you answer the question?
No, I saw Hail Caesar most recently.
Oh, Hail Caesar, the latest Coen Brothers disappointment?
I really enjoyed the movie.
Yeah, people love it.
Yeah, I enjoyed it.
People love it.
People don't like it.
We have opinions.
But we can all agree on this.
The divisive nature of our reaction to it
means that it is not a classic Coen Brothers film.
I think the jury's still out.
No, no, no.
The jury's not out.
The February release date was the studio saying, this isn't going to win shit. Yeah, but that's still out. No, no, no. The jury's not out. The February release date was the studio saying,
this isn't going to win shit.
Yeah, but that's the studio.
Right.
That decided, looked at it, and went,
this isn't going to win shit.
There's not even a supporting actor performance in this movie
that could get acknowledged by anyone.
I think A Serious Man is one of their better films.
When did that come out?
It got a Best Picture nomination.
Serious Man? Yeah. Really? films. When did that come out? It got a Best Picture nomination. Serious Man?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Somebody want to?
Welcome to knowing about this shit.
I'm not sure.
It was nominated for Best Picture. Was that the sequel to Welcome to Mooseport?
No, it was a sequel to Fiddler on the Roof, actually.
They got Gene Hackman out of retirement
to read that script, and he said,
now I'm retired.
You know, short of the...
Like, the wackier ones don't have
possibilities for winning awards,
but that's...
I'll say this about Hail Caesar.
I walked out of it thinking that was good,
not their best, and then the more I thought about it...
I won't see that again in the theaters.
The more I thought about it, I'm like,
yeah, I gotta go see that at least one more time.
Because there's a lot of subtle stuff
to pick up on, I think.
Most of their movies are very puzzling.
I love when you have to go back to a movie
to figure out what was happening.
All their movies.
You picked up on the gay subplot
the first time you saw Miller's Crossing?
It took me like five times.
Do I care one way or the other?
I do.
I picked up on that it's an enjoyable movie.
Like it's interesting.
I enjoyed Hail Caesar.
But, you know, people here liked it too.
Like, you know.
Like everything else, you're an idiot.
But on this one, there's some people behind you.
But no, no.
I just fucking said, and I'll repeat it.
I'll give you a new thing that we talked about earlier but i'll say it if
you read the reviews on rotten tomatoes hill caesar is like at 76 or 80 or some shit but if
you read the reviews every single review says something like scattershot lightweight not one
of their better efforts and they give it a positive review because it's not shit like the guy those
guys are very talented obviously but in their in their world of films, to me, it falls into the way lower category.
Not their worst, because they'll always be the lady killers.
Which is only one of two remakes that they've done, I think.
And the other one was True Grit, which worked out pretty good.
Gave us Haley Steinfeld, so you can't beat that.
I like her.
She was great in that.
She's always good.
Last movie I saw.
Thanks for asking.
What the fuck was it?
Oh, I saw that movie Southbound.
That's not out yet.
Oh.
Check it out, you guys. It's one of my favorites that's not out yet. Oh. Check it out, you guys.
It's one of my favorites that's not out yet.
It's an anthology. I think I talked about it in the last
episode. It's an anthology movie.
How could I have talked about it?
Anyway, I talked about it somewhere.
I'm always talking.
It's an anthology movie
where all the characters
and each of the stories is like on their way to hell.
Like it's a purgatory anthology movie.
Oh, they're all southbound.
Exactly.
I get it now.
And during the Q&A, I saw it at a screening where there's a Q&A with the directors.
And somebody said, is it called southbound because they're all on their way to hell?
And everyone just sat there silently.
Like, did you really just
ask that?
It's because they were all sitting on the five south to
San Diego where you die a slow
fucking death!
Thank you. OJ Simpson could have told you that.
It's relevant again.
Now it's the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin.
Gentlemen, step out of the shadows
and pick your name tags.
There's a lot, and I guess I'm the only one.
There's a lot of options.
There are.
So while you guys mull it over, we're going to go to a quick commercial break.
We'll be right back.
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We're back. Who are you playing for, Sam?
I'm playing for, that's a good question,
the Looshual?
Looshual.
Loosh. Loosh is his name.
And he's given us a poster
of the Looshual suspects
and he's replaced all of the
characters from the poster
on the Usual Suspects with either
cartoon drawings or
photographs of your head
and then his own head, but
for some reason Benicio Del Toro
remains untouched.
Which is troubling.
Yeah, because Kevin Pollack is the
only person on that poster that
has had appearances on this
show, so that's the one you shouldn't have
covered up. What if he drove down
here today? He'd be pissed. He'd be
so livid. I picked it just so we could
talk about Kevin Pollak because he loves it when we
talk about him. Kevin would be like, what a lusher.
Yeah.
You're such a lusher.
Why?
And he also
attached a king-size Reese's
peanut butter cups package to it.
Is that what really got you? No, I'm allergic
to chocolate, but I felt like others
on the panel would be interested in it.
Jacob,
could you pass this down to Sam? Thank you very much.
And the
laxatives, please.
Wait, that's how
the allergy works? You just shit it out right
away? Yeah, if you take laxatives after a food you're
allergic to, it just comes right out.
It's not a bad plan, I guess.
Do you want to sit in the front of your die hat?
Who are you playing for?
Oh, and Lush is your first name?
Short for Luciano.
Oh, Luciano. Okay.
That's a beautiful name.
Wasn't there ever a movie about
Lucky Luciano or something?
Boardwalk Empire
Dustin, who are you playing for?
You got candy also
Yeah, you know, typical fat guy move
I got a
Guardiana of the Galaxy
Am I saying that right?
Is it Guardiana?
Yes, it's Diana
Oh, that's not what it says Oh, Guardiana! Alright, I get it now Diana saying that word? It was like G-R-G-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R I'm like, okay, so. Here's Margot Robbie to explain Deanna's name. Yeah, in a hot tub.
Her name is Deanna.
You know, I just liked it.
You know, Marvel, I like Marvel.
You put your faces on it, that's good.
But not even Photoshop.
You literally cut and paste.
Like in real life.
That's pretty cool.
And there's M&M's and Reese's and Snickers bar.
And Sam, you're allergic, I'm gonna get your Reese's
Is that cool?
Sweet, thanks man
The Snickers says ornery on
At ornery
I didn't know that Snickers
Was really going full blown
With the
Is ornery Adams on the show?
Did you point out that it says
Doug loves the movies on it yet?
That's pretty cute
No, it says Doug loves the movies
Wait, yeah
There's a the
There's an extraneous the Doug Doug Loves the Movies.
What are you talking about?
Oh, you're right. American Comedy.
Oh my gosh, yeah. Hashtag DLTM.
It says Doug Loves the Movies on there twice. I was looking
at the bigger one. Yeah. It does not say
the movies. This was definitely
Google translated. That's all I gotta say.
I love you, but we
are pretty close to Tijuana right here.
And let's be honest.
You gave me pico pico.
I do want to commend Deanna on her shithead placement.
She put a little manila envelope on the back here that literally says,
only open if you do not win.
That's the way to go.
No mistakes.
That's really.
I'm getting slimed.
But Dustin's been on before.
He knows the drill.
If it's a new player that picked that,
the first thing they'd say is,
why does this say do not open?
Exactly.
Way to be.
Good job.
Jacob?
I think I'm interpreting this right.
It's Hayley Walks, the battle for Endor.
Did I get that right?
Hayley.
Her name's Hayley, so it's Haley Walks.
And she's photoshopped the old-fashioned way on a computer,
not by hand.
Everyone's got their methods.
So you picked that just because it worked out with Haley, right?
Yeah, she's got herself on all the human characters,
but not the Ewok, which I thought was a strange choice.
But you chose that because Haley Walks.
Yeah, I love Paramore and I love Ewoks. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Haley. I thought you was a strange choice. But you chose that because Hayley Walk. Yeah, I love Paramore and I love Ewoks.
No, no, I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to Hayley.
I thought you meant me.
I'll try it a third time.
Hayley Walk you chose because it works out that way,
not because you're a fan of Ewoks.
Both?
Yeah, happy accident.
Happy accident.
Cool.
But yeah, did anybody else bring something Star Wars? Matt? happy accident cool but yeah
did anybody else
bring something
Star Wars
Matt
and States balls
is kind of a
almost
kind of
not really
I just
you don't have to
pull it up again
okay
so
so yeah
I found it
yeah
whatever
Ewoks were the
beginning of the end, but whatever.
Yeah, not a big fan of the movie.
But I love that there's Wilford Brimley with Haley's face on him.
I think that's reason enough to battle for Endor.
I think so.
All right, congratulations, everybody got chosen.
Sorry if you didn't get picked.
But, you know, it's still fun, right?
He splattered a plus.
I worked for 12 minutes on this.
Yeah.
I had to find the scissors.
Went to the store for glue.
All right.
Let's start with a game that is called cable billing aka cast away uh
if you look at the listings on your cable network they when it's a movie tv show whatever it is
when they list like two names imdb does it everywhere all over the place they get it so
wrong some of the time. It's ridiculous.
So I'm going to name the movies that my cable company,
the people that my cable company say co-starred in a movie,
and you guys, first person to say into their microphone,
can guess as many times as you want.
Wait, you're going to say the actors' names,
we say the movie?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
But they're not the stars of the movie.
They're in the movie.
It's not a complete mistake.
I understand.
Like if it said my name for Inglourious Bastards,
that would be a good example.
Yeah, if it said Sam Levine and Paul Rust in Inglourious Bastards, that would be...
Now I see what we're dealing with.
Understood.
Now you know.
Now, I don't know if this one's that bad, but here we go.
Glorious Bastards.
No?
Why would I write that down knowing Sam was going to be here?
What movie does my cable company think stars Chaz Palminteri and Jennifer Coolidge?
Legally Blonde?
Bronx Tale?
No to both of those.
Bronx Tale 3.
They haven't gone that deep.
Bronx Tale versus O.J. Simpson.
Stop saying Bronx Tale.
I will order a drink and knock it out of your hand.
Bullets over Broadway?
No.
Casino?
No.
It was a comedy from 2001.
Legally Blonde 2?
Ah, see?
I met him, so I feel like I...
Red, white, and blonde?
I got one more clue,
but when I give it to you,
this game is going to turn into
who can say it fastest. Waiting for Guffman. I got to look clue, but when I give it to you, this game is going to turn into who can say it fastest.
Waiting for Gutman.
I got to look at your mouths.
Best in show.
No.
Chaz Palminteri?
Maybe he was in a dog suit.
You're making my stomach hurt.
Cats versus dogs.
Cats and dogs.
Jennifer Aniston.
The movie starred the actual star
of the movie. I'm just going to
look at Sam.
I'm going to block.
Chris Rock.
New Jack City!
Top 10 things
about you! Heaven can
wait. Whatever that remake was.
I'm going to need a title.
Booty Tang.
Jennifer Coolidge, Chaz Palminteri, 2001 comedy starring Chris Rock was called.
This is.
Oh, the heaven guy.
Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. I'm in heaven. I'm a Heaven guy. Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ.
I'm in Heaven.
I'm a white guy.
You can do it.
The Heaven Can Wait remake, right?
You can do it.
Down to Earth.
That's correct.
Yes!
Well done, Dustin.
God.
Man.
No way.
This makes me feel like I graduated high school.
Jesus.
I knew the movie existed.
I could have sat here for four hours with you.
I never would have come up with it.
I saw it in the theaters.
Damn, Dusty, you were good.
I mean...
Never would have come up with that.
Hey, excuse me.
Can I get something to throw over?
Like a drink, please?
I love that Jacob just kept being like,
make, make, make, make.
Like, that's how you can answer a question In a trivia game
The thing I'm describing
I didn't think I was going to get credit for that
I was just trying to jog my own memory
You just kept saying it and that only
Helped Dustin eventually
I thought it would help Sam
I thought so too
But that one is not up on my radar
That shit was cray you guys
Dustin won our first game everybody
New game
New game
You know I'm just a regular guy from Dallas Texas
I'm not a big showbiz fellow like y'all
But I do what I do
And I got killed by the Joker Come on But I do what I do.
And I got killed by the Joker.
Ah! Come on.
So you won't be back on Gotham?
No.
Oh, should I not?
Are you guys here?
I shouldn't spoil it.
Never mind, I'm on it forever. I think you and Jada Pinkett Smith being gone from Gotham
is just another example of the racism in Hollywood.
That's what I think.
They were like, you're probably, you know, they took off my, if I was like fully white,
they'd be like, yeah, we love you, but instead I'm half Mexican, so get this beaner out of here.
You know that's how you talk here, San Diego.
Don't look at me with those eyes.
I know, this guy's spilling shit because he's nervous now.
No, he just wants to be like you.
He's a super fan.
You get to go first in this next game, Dustin.
It's called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
I'll tell you a tagline from a
motion picture. It's probably
something from the poster or an ad
or something.
You guess what movie it's from.
You only get one guess. If you can't get it,
we move on to another player. We'll go to
Sam next.
And then to Jacob if Sam
can't name it.
Dustin, what movie had the tagline,
find your breaking point?
Well, I used to watch First Wives Club with my mom.
And I know that's not it.
Find your breaking point.
That seems like a woman-y thing.
Like, you know, like, I'm a woman, and fuck,
I've got to let everyone woman.
You know how it is.
I found my breaking
point.
I feel like...
You're thinking like Mr. Mom maybe?
No, it can't be Stella got her groove back.
Okay.
Dude, damn it.
The breaking point. I don't want to say point break. That's dumb.
What was that one where Diane Keaton had a baby?
She had to raise?
Baby boom.
Baby boom.
Yeah, that would be a real breaking point.
But that's...
Damn it.
You know what, man?
Jeez, I'm just going to throw this out there.
What about like Karate Kid when he kicks him in the leg and his bone snaps?
I don't think he breaks the bone.
I don't think LaRusso...
Oh, yeah, you know what?
I just remembered
that the tagline for Karate Kid
was find your spraining point.
That's right.
Find your breaking point?
Dude, I have no idea.
Just guess something.
Well, you know, find your breaking point. I have no idea Just guess something Well you know Find your breaking point
I liked First Wives Club
First Wives Club
Yeah yeah
That's a good guess
Sam
I know this is wrong
Breaking away
Nope
Jacob
I'm gonna go Blue Crush
What is wrong with you guys
Point break
He said it
Jacob said it Dude Doug I literally He said it! Jacob said it!
Doug, I literally said that, bro.
You said it.
You were like, no, that wouldn't be it.
No, but you saw me. You looked at my face.
I didn't. I looked away.
Can I just say, by the way,
after hearing you say
that that is the tagline for that movie,
that totally fits.
It's the 2015. Taglines are supposed That totally fits. It's the 2015.
Taglines are supposed to be clever.
It's the 2015 one.
They had the audacity to make a remake of a classic,
cast two unknowns that can't hold a candle to Swayze or Keanu.
Jesus.
And then they had come up with Find Your Breaking Point.
Can I tell you the weirdest thing I saw recently?
That movie deserved every dollar it didn't make.
So, Patrick Swayze in the original Point Break,
as I'm sure you guys well know,
he famously did his own stunt diving work in the movie.
So famous.
It was, it's fucking,
those shots of him jumping out of the plane are crazy.
He did his own dancing in Dirty Dancing.
He did his own dying in, no.
And so, there I was, watching. He did his own dying it now and so there i was watching his own penny lifting and ghost there i
was watching the movie drop zone recently the 1994 wesley snipe scary bucey masterpiece and i
happen to be looking through the credits and let me tell you who gets credit for being one of the
fucking skydivers don sway Swayze. His fucking
brother. Clearly the two of them were
jumping together. You're the only person
in the room excited about this story.
It's fucking nuts to me.
Do you know what the
tagline was for Drop Zone?
Find your zone and drop it.
It wasn't drop it like it's hot?
No, because it doesn't have drop and zone
in it. I gave you both words.
Dustin gave you the answer.
Oh, no, I know.
We were actually talking about that movie earlier today,
and I couldn't think of the name.
File your taxes honestly.
So I did not get that.
Drop zone.
All right, let's go on to the next one.
So I didn't get that.
You did not get that one, no.
Welcome to real life, Dusty.
Hit you like a ton of bricks,
huh? Dusty Barra.
I mean, you moved on from Point Break so
fast I couldn't even say yes or no.
I met Wesley Snipes.
On the player.
Were you passenger 58?
It got canceled.
The guy likes ice cream.
Always bet on half Mexican.
That'd be the funniest roulette slot ever.
Dustin, what movie has the tagline,
a bastard's work is never done?
Well, I didn't know my dad, so I'm a bastard.
So the first one...
I like the way you talk us through it.
You see...
You really let us know what you're thinking.
A bastard's work is never done.
I don't know, Robin Hood?
Prince of Thieves
yeah nope
Jacob
and Glorious Bastards
that's correct
starring Sam Levine
I thought it went to me next that's weird
supposed to go to me
it's fine
I'm thrilled that I got it past Dustin
yeah that was wild
but he didn't figure it out
but we'll start with you on this next one, Sam.
Life is the ultimate work of art.
What movie has the tagline,
Life is the ultimate work of art?
And I'll give you a little extra sub clue.
Okay.
I've seen this movie.
And yeah,
sure, I guess that's an okay tagline.
I would have gone with something else.
I think I got it.
For real? The Truman Show?
No, but that's an
interesting guess, sure.
Jacob?
Life is Beautiful?
No. No. Dustin? Life is Beautiful? No.
Dustin?
When I was five.
No, sorry.
The Thomas Crown Affair?
That's a good guess.
That's actually a good guess.
See, I'm not that dumb.
You guys are like, look at this piece of dumb.
Oh, wait, wait.
I think I might know it.
This doesn't count. This doesn't count.
It doesn't count.
Is it Big Eyes?
No.
Pollock?
No.
What's happening?
Nothing.
This doesn't count.
We all struck out.
Is it Art School Confidential?
It's ridiculous how hard this one is.
Ed TV.
You're never going to guess it.
No, we're not.
Schindler's List.
I take it back.
Well done. No, the answer is vicky
christina barcelona of course dude that's not even a movie those are just three chicks no like
i mean life is the ultimate work of art that's all right right, but how about two hot chicks want to fuck?
Yeah.
How about that?
Wait, three.
There's three of them in there.
All right, let's do one more, starting with Dustin once again, because you're still our champion today, buddy.
Well, you know, it means a lot to me, Doug.
This movie's tagline is A story of premature reincarnation
I know this
Keanu Reeves maybe
And Sandra Bullock
No, pre-incarnation
It's not Speed or the Lake House
I know what he's thinking of
Damn it, alright
Pre-incarnation It's like I know what he's thinking of. Damn it. All right.
Preincarnation.
It's like... Oh, what's that one when Nicole Kidman was with a young dude and it was weird?
It was like in the Academy.
I'll tell you.
It's called Birth.
Go for it.
Birth?
Is it Birth?
Nope.
Sam, you and your Hollywood tricks.
I think I know it.
What is it?
Am I allowed to jump in?
Isn't it your turn?
No. We've switched the order. Okay. Oh, yeah. I guess it is What is it? Am I allowed to jump in? Isn't it your turn? No.
We've switched the order.
Oh, yeah, I guess it is.
Is it Chances Are?
I didn't mean to switch the order.
Robert Downey Jr. and Sybil Shepard?
No.
Fuck that.
That's exactly the plot line of that movie.
Jacob?
This is not my guess.
You were thinking of Little Buddha with Keanu Reeves,
but I think that's kind of a joke title for a series.
No, I was thinking The Matrix.
Okay.
True, true.
What do you think it is?
It's obviously a comedy.
Premature Re reincarnation.
You guys are going to love this.
Is it down to earth?
It's not.
Gandhi.
Can I take one more?
Gandhi is your guess?
What's your guess, Dustin?
Mannequin?
No, it's out of turn Johnson on the end there.
It's down to earth.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
You did it twice and won Doug Loves Movies?
This is like a really shady episode.
Why are you getting so tricky?
Yeah, this is like the goddamn NFL, dude.
The trouble, Jacob, is I can't trick you with your own movies,
so I figured out another way to go.
Yeah, no, Down to Earth.
It should be easier because it's already been discussed.
And you already talked about how it was a remake of Heaven Can Wait, which is about a reincarnated guy.
That's true.
Yeah, it's all come up already.
So it's funny how you...
But Sam figured it out.
Well, sure.
Yeah.
But too late, but yet also before the last person got a chance to guess.
So let's call Dustin the winner still.
Well, I won the game.
I got one right.
No, are you serious?
You didn't get shit right.
I got one right.
What was the one I got right?
He got a glorious pass.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so we'll start with Dustin.
So I didn't win.
We're still in this.
No, Jacob was the best at that one.
This is overtime right now.
So we'll start with Jacob, and then we'll go to Sam.
How are we doing on time
you guys? Do you guys have to be anywhere?
Alright, cool.
Because I gotta smoke a bunch of weed, Doug.
What is the
game we are playing now?
ABCD's Nuts.
Nice.
Love Nuts.
We're gonna spell
in honor of it's coming up this Sundayay i always do like uh like i'm doing
a show this sunday in la on valentine's day and a lot of times i'll do like you know valentine's
valentine's theme shit throughout the show on that day but then people listen to it the next day
and for a few weeks hence and so you're hearing all about a holiday
after it's already happened. So I thought
let's do some Valentine's Day shit tonight
that people can listen to over the next
few days to get all
romantical over. You're right. Like I can't
watch Home Alone at any point during
the year. If it's not
right in the few days before
Christmas it's useless to me.
Alright.
It's just how I am, man.
It's just how I am, Doug.
I just don't know what to say to that.
That movie's not that Christmassy.
No, more Christmassy than Die Hard, our favorite Christmas movie.
That is the best Christmas movie.
Yeah.
Yes.
McClane.
All right, so rest in peace.
This is, we're going to spell Valentine's Day.
And here's how this works, Justin. We're going to take turns.
I'm going to name a letter.
Did you just call me Justin?
No, I said Dustin. No, you said Justin.
I swear to God. You literally
just said Justin. I said this just in.
We're going to take
turns.
You're so goddamn fast!
And
we're going to...
It's all written down here.
Say his name wrong, then say this.
I'll say a letter.
I just singled you out, though,
because maybe I was like a combination of Jacob and Dustin.
I'll say a letter to you,
and then you just name any movie that begins with that letter,
and if you match the movie that I wrote down ahead of time,
then you are the automatic winner. But if you can't think of a movie that begins with that letter, and if you match the movie that I wrote down ahead of time, then you are the automatic winner.
But if you can't think of a movie that begins with the letter, then not only are you incredibly stupid,
but also under a lot of pressure,
but you will be eliminated from this game.
We're starting with the letter V.
Jacob won the last game, so he gets to start us off.
And then we'll go to Sam and then to Mustin.
And we're spelling Valentine's Day.
That's why I did all that talking about Valentine's Day a minute ago.
The letter, Jacob, is V.
Vertigo.
Oh, so close.
I went with Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
Sam, your letter is A.
All about Eve.
Good one.
I said Annie Hall.
Also a good one.
Yeah.
Dustin L.
Last Dance.
You mean The Last Dance?
No, I mean Last Dance.
Okay.
What was that?
It was, you know.
Yeah, I'm curious if you know.
There was a white chick and a black dude.
Save the last dance.
Why are you saying, oh, you dicks, man.
Look at you with your, like, ah, the hipstery is, ugh.
You ever look at them and you're like, ugh.
Like, it just gets me mad. I'm like, these're like, ugh. Ugh. Like, it just gets me mad.
I'm like, these...
Ugh!
Ah!
You're one step shy from Sam Kinison right now.
Yeah.
I really thought...
I was just going to say that.
I was just going to say that.
I just thought...
I was just about to say,
does somebody have Charlie Hoover in their pocket?
Someone give me some blow.
No, I'm just kidding.
All right, what happened?
I think there's also probably some movie
called Last Dance. You know there is.
I'll let you through to the next round. Somebody else
knocked over a drink. This is crazy
in here. You've got a lot of fans.
They're supporting me, obviously.
Knock all your drinks into my mouth
right now. All the napkins.
I'm glad the Gaslamp district isn't really lit by gas lamps
because this place would burn down tonight
because shit's getting knocked over.
Damn it is.
If you have some napkins in the front, please.
Maybe a bath towel if you have one handy.
May I have another kettle and soda, please?
Can I have my first?
I know you guys are upset at me. I know the way staff just looks at kettle and soda, please? And can I have my first? I know you guys are upset at me.
I know the way staff just looks at me and thinks,
that big baboon is going to ruffle some drinks up
and just ruffle them to the ground.
I think Doug is going to give you another shot.
So it has to start with the letter.
It can't start with the or a.
Or save.
It has to start with the letter.
It can't start with the or a.
Or save.
Well, yeah.
That's also true.
But there's got to be some stupid movie called Last Dance. Something that starts with an L.
Let it go.
Wait, he said Last Dance.
That's fine.
I did.
Come on, man.
Get off my back.
You're making it in Hollywood.
I'm not.
Just give me some...
This is all I have, Sam.
This is what I've got, okay?
Obviously you saw my award-winning work on
That's So Raven. Yes, I'm doing just fine.
You're a killer. That's all there is.
You're a killer.
How many credits do you think you have on IMDb, Sam,
when it's like the aggregate, like all your performances, TV and movies?
It must be, I want to guess like 182 or something.
No, no.
I don't think I've cracked 100.
I haven't looked.
Really?
Yeah, it's maybe 80.
75?
I think it's in the 80s.
It's up there.
Episodics?
Yeah.
What's it say?
Did you say 86?
Who said 86?
Because that's a good reason to throw you out.
Finally.
You're 86, motherfucker.
Finally.
There's a bar in, I think, the West Village in Manhattan
that's a street address is 86,
and that's where that expression came from, being 86 out of a bar.
All right.
My L, Dustin, I went with love story.
Oh, well, yeah.
Because Valentine's Day is coming up.
Ah, that makes sense.
Okay.
All right.
Who was next?
Back to Jake with E.
Go for it, Jake, Jake.
Oh, my God.
They brought me a gigantic vodka soda.
Endless Love.
That's a great guess.
I went with a more romantic movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
N.
The most romantic N movie.
Never Say Never Again.
No.
No?
Strings Attached.
Oh.
T.
Valentine's Day.
You can do it.
Oh, I thought mine was O just now.
No, that's not Valentine's Day.
What do you mean you thought yours was O?
I was thinking of a different word.
There's no O anywhere in Valentine's Day.
Use any movie that starts with O.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, dude.
I know what you're saying.
It's super easy, dude.
The?
You can do it, man.
The Count of Monte Cristo.
Cristo.
The sandwich guy.
That's a good sandwich.
The deep fried...
You said Crisco at first.
But that could have...
That's like a parody on the internet probably, right?
Someone had to have...
Probably one of y'all in here did that.
I'm gonna...
Sam, who starred in the most recent version of that movie?
That was Jim Caviezel and Guy Pearce, I want to say.
Was it?
Yes.
He's correct.
All right.
What about the one before that?
I don't know.
They're all dead now.
It's not important.
Wasn't DiCaprio in one of those?
Iron Mask.
Okay.
Good, good, good.
Same author.
Dumas.
I asked about DiCaprio. Dumas, Sam. Because for my T movie. Oh, I didn't go to college. For my T. good, good. Same offer. Dumas. I ask about DiCaprio.
Dumas, Sam.
Because for my T movie...
Oh, I didn't go to college.
I didn't graduate high school.
Yes, Doug?
Oh, thanks for letting me speak.
For my T movie, I went with Titanic.
Yeah, because, you know, Valentine's Day.
Yeah, a lot of relationships are going to sink this weekend.
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
Ouch.
A lot of
couples are going to be split between
someone who's alive and someone
who's bitter and cold.
Wait, what?
Alright, I is the next letter.
Can I give you a quick clue? Sure. This movie's not very romantic. Interstellar. I is the next letter. Me.
Can I give you a quick clue?
Sure.
This movie's not very romantic.
Interstellar.
Oh.
Oh, no. That movie's definitely not romantic.
Although Matthew McConaughey was kind of like,
I'm going to go away and you're going to get older to his daughter.
No.
Inherent Vice is what I went with.
Another thing we talked about earlier.
Just because I like that movie the more I watch it. N is the next letter. Oh, Inherent Vice is what I went with. Just because I like that movie, the more I watch it.
N is the next letter.
Oh, N again.
The Romance of the Ages, Nobody's Fool.
Oh, dude, I really thought you were going to pull this one out
when you said Romance of the Ages, Notting Hill.
Oh.
Yeah.
God damn it.
Ladies love that one.
They sure do.
Yeah.
E for Dustin.
Everything must go.
Super romantic movie.
Can I guess what you wrote?
Probably the most romantic
all your shit out on the lawn movie ever made.
Can I guess your E?
No, you can't guess the letter
that's not your letter.
Not for points, just for pride.
No, not for anything.
Alex Trebek, can I get...
I have another guess.
I went with Edward
Scissorhands. Oh.
What did you want to say?
Everyone says I love you because it's Woody Allen.
But this will be here all day
if everyone's like, can I guess that letter?
I just had a good feeling about it.
S. S.
Saving Private Ryan.
The most...
The sexiest movie ever made.
Sleepless in Seattle.
People back there,
we're going to sleep us in Seattle contingent back there.
D is the next letter.
Is that me?
No, it's me.
I think
I'm catching your drift here Douglas
I'm going to say
Dirty Dancing
Correct
Thank you very much
I'm sorry
I went with Dirty Dancing Havana Nights
Of course
It's fair Sam wins that game I'm sorry. I went with Dirty Dancing Havana Nights. Oh, of course. Of course.
It's fair.
It's fair.
He's tough, but fair, folks.
Sam wins that game.
What do you think I did for A, Dustin?
Armageddon?
No.
I went with A Walk to Remember.
You would. A romantic movie about being in love with Jesus.
Damn it.
And what do you think I'd pick for why?
Do you want to guess, Jacob?
I know you love to guess.
What's a romantic movie
that begins with why?
Yentl.
Oh, wait.
Youth in Revolt.
No.
What was it?
Yentl 2, Havana Nights?
No What was it?
Yentl 2 Havana Nights?
You've got mail
Oh okay
Solid movie
So that was a very romantic edition of the ABCD's Nuts
It was
We'll switch the order around
Which way were we going before
So it'll be Sam and then
Jacob
Sam and Jacob
Let's play Last Man Stanton
Alright
I gotta get my pen out
People are getting their checks
I want to get a pen out
I'm very upset I forgot to bring a pen and paper.
Oh, you're going to just write them all down?
Yeah.
That would be cheating against them.
Wait, what?
Because they can't write them all down.
Well, I mean, it's not like it's against the law for them to bring pen and paper.
As they all did, but then we're all just sitting up here jotting things down.
I guess.
I just write them down to keep track, and also it doesn't matter if I win or not because I'm not playing
for anybody. Very well.
But it is a little
easier if you're looking at all the ones that have been said
already. But I also don't penalize
for people who repeat one. I just say we did that
one already and then you have to try another one.
Alright, so there's
a person in the audience that's going to help us out with this.
I got a few tweets today
from people.
Where's Megan Younts?
There you are.
Did I pronounce your name right?
When you leave a place, do you say, hey, guys, I got a Younts?
Because it's spelled like bounce with a Y.
Did you see that movie, Bounce, with Ben Affleck and Gwyneth Paltrow?
I left early.
What about Roll Yelts with Lil' Bella?
So she's going to give us a name, and we're going to play Last Man Standing, where we're going to take turns naming people.
Naming people.
Naming movies that that person, actor or actress, has been in.
And if you can't think of one, you're out.
Dustin.
Did I get eliminated?
Super pressure.
So I'm in this?
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, okay.
Did you think you just had to sit there the rest of the show?
Well, yeah, because the whole time, because you were like,
Jacob, you know, let's do this.
Yeah, you're right.
I did say that.
Sam, what's up?
Jacob.
Specifically remember you said that, Doug. I don't know, Crash. Doug, I've known you for a bit. You say that. Sam, what's up? Jacob. Specifically remember you said that. I don't know.
Doug, I've known you for a bit.
You said that.
I already forgot what order we're going in.
Sam, Jacob, Dustin.
Okay.
So, Megan, what's your suggestion?
Danny Cravo?
Oh, come on.
I've even rejected that on the show before.
He's made three movies.
He's probably been in a dozen or 15 movies as an actor with lines,
and then he probably appears in a bunch more.
Didn't he just open a taco truck or something, somebody told me?
I was over there the other day.
Yeah, how was it?
Yeah, I was with Gabriel Iglesias.
They were shooting this Danny Trejo's Tacos thing.
Wow, that's a really fluffy name drop.
Yeah.
Hey, you know, I got to do what I got to do, bro.
No, but he was over there.
What are you raising?
This is a guy raising his hand in the front row.
Yeah.
He has a Star Wars name tag, which I admire more than the one Jacob chose.
Well, all he did was, because he didn't do enough work,
he just replaced his name and didn't touch the rest of the thing.
She actually did some Photoshop.
So yeah, I'm sorry, Megan,
but when you write to me on Twitter,
it's the perfect name for Last Man Standing.
Danny Trejo is not it.
Machete, Machete Kill.
Like you name Robert Rodriguez movies
Until we can't think of any anymore
Let's not forget Con Air
That's what I mean
He's got some outliers
But you know what I mean
It wouldn't last very long
That episode of Marin
Can I throw that in?
St. George
No one remembers St. George, huh?
George Lopez's show
That movie where he's
Did someone just say
Oh God
You TV critic over there
Oh God
What were they saying?
Earlier when Doug said Kylo Ren
Somebody went
It's a judgy crowd about weird stuff
Really?
Well it is Kind of lame that it's a judgy crowd about weird stuff. Really? Well, it is
kind of lame that it's a Kylo Ren
toothbrush. Really?
Like, the villain shouldn't be a toothbrush.
What's wrong with
a fucking, you know,
what's his name, toothbrush?
Finn?
Any other character. Yeah, Finn or
Rey. You don't put black people in your team.
Or the lady.
Everybody knows that.
What about the lady with the butthole eyes?
Butthole eyes.
Yes.
Like you're watching her going, does she have butthole eyes?
And then she takes those goggles off and is like, butthole eyes.
I just call her Reggae Yoda.
Tanaka.
Tanaka, is that her name?
Maz Kanata.
Maz Kanata.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she's got that bar.
I like that sequence because, you know, it reminds you of the last time that you saw a bunch of guys.
That's the whole point of that movie.
Rubber masks.
Remind you of the last time.
What?
All right.
Jacob Siroff on Twitter.
S-I-R-O-F if you want to argue with him about Star Wars.
I'm done.
But we have fun.
I never stop. He doesn't. He's relentless.
People won't let me.
You wish you were watching the prequels right now.
I have no comeback for that.
I gotta apologize to Megan Younts one more time because
you know you meant well
but what's your name in the front row
Matt oh yeah Emperor Strikes Matt
he politely raised two fingers
like they were about to slip right into
an anus
he has awesome Star Wars shoes on
he's got Star Wars shoes.
Another reason you should have picked him over the Ewoks.
So this is your consolation prize.
Suggest a name for us.
Josh Brolin.
Josh Brolin.
I kind of like that one.
It's tough.
It's a little tough, but it's a little.
That's a tough one.
He's done a lot.
You're right.
And we'll miss some really big ones, I'm sure.
But Sam, start us off.
And this is for the win tonight,
whichever one of you guys lasts the longest.
Peace.
We'll start.
And, and, and,
I don't know if any of you have played The Wrinkle before.
No.
Lifeline.
Oh.
At any point in the game,
a lot of people wait until they absolutely need it.
But some people go early strategically.
You can go once to your person.
Your sign mate.
The person whose name tag you picked.
Oh, okay.
That's your lifeline.
You could go to them once, and we're trusting them to not jump on a device, an internet device.
But if they do, then they have to live it themselves.
So this is the updated version of the dugout, if you will.
I don't know what that means.
You invented it, clearly.
At some point in your life.
I think that was when you didn't used to play this,
and if somebody got stuck, they could ask you.
Oh, okay.
Look at Sam go.
Well.
Little Douglas Movies
history. You and I have been doing
this a long time. We have been doing it
a long time, and I forgot to mention
this is your last time.
Guys, it's the farewell
tour. It had to happen at some point.
I want a lot of people to listen to this episode,
and I really think we'll get great ratings
if we... You know, killing characters
off is important
to making people realize that anything could happen. and I really think we'll get great ratings if we... You know, killing characters off is important
to making people realize that anything could happen.
That's right.
All right, Sam, what do you got?
I have a question.
Oh, Jacob has a question.
So last time we played,
I've done the Lifeline thing before.
People were answering wrong incorrectly
and then going to their Lifeline.
Is that okay?
If you get it wrong, then you can go to your Lifeline?
No, no, no.
I don't know what happened there.
At UCB that happened last time.
I don't know what that was about. So you're supposed to ask
when you're stumped. Yeah.
We're working the kinks out still.
Yeah, no, when it's your turn, you say
I'd like to use my lifeline. Because people would guess wrong
and then go, oh, lifeline then. Dustin's about to say it when it gets to him.
Okay. Alright.
Yeah, everyone made
fun of him in the beginning.
But seriously though, like, I
think it might be strategy to go ahead
and take a name that
nobody might be thinking of from the
audience member instead of waiting until you can't
think of something. Because by the time you can't
think of one, the audience member might be
stumped as well.
That's actually
what happens a lot so far.
So much strategy.
Sam, name a Josh
Barolin film.
Oh, and since we're going to Jake,
it'll be me and then Jacob.
So don't say anything yet, Jacob.
The Academy Award Best Picture winner,
No Country for Old Men.
That's a good one.
That is a very good one.
I'm going to go ahead and drop back
To the beginning
And say
The Goonies
So we got no country for old men
The Goonies, Jacob
Because it's so relevant
I'll take Hail Caesar off the table
Yeah, Hail Caesar
There wasn't a single goddamn salad
in that whole movie.
Dustin, any
movie that has Josh Brolin in it?
Give me W, Doug.
W.
I'm from Texas and yes,
we're pretty cool.
I'm drawing it like
the W for the band Weezer.
All right, Sam.
Men in Black 3.
Ooh.
Ooh.
It's my turn.
I'm going to take it off the table because I already talked about it.
God damn it.
Inherit Vice.
That's like by the last one I had.
Josh Bolin's a tough one.
It's a kind of, yeah, but he works a lot.
You could figure out another one maybe.
I just thought of one just talking about
how you could think of one.
I'll probably think of another soon.
But you could also go to your lifeline if you want.
I might have to do that.
Get ready.
You walk.
I can't just name his wife, huh?
No, that's a weird game.
That's not a movie.
Who's he married to?
Diane Lane?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he is.
Oh, I love her so much.
Do you?
She's all right.
Unfaithful.
Streets of Fire, bro?
Come on.
Yeah.
Cotton Club.
Must Love Dogs.
Knights of Rodanthe.
That's all there is.
Richard Gere.
Unfaithful.
I love Diane Lane.
Ever since A Little Romance.
Okay, sorry.
We changed the game to Diane Lane all of a sudden.
A lot of those movies came up on a Richard Gere
episode once.
She's worked with him twice, yes.
The Rodanthe and the other one.
She was unfaithful to him in both cases.
Or no.
It's true.
Was she unfaithful to him in Rodanthe?
I don't know.
I never saw it.
I never saw it.
I think Frank was in that one.
Is that right?
Okay, well, nobody knows.
I got to go to Haley.
Mae Whitman's her daughter in that one.
I got to go to Haley.
Huh?
I got to go to Haley.
Okay, Haley, walk.
Sicario?
Sicario.
What?
What?
Yes.
Yes, Sicario.
I forgot who.
I was like, Diane Lane is not in Sicario.
You're still in it, Jacob.
And like, you know, something might trigger when you hear other titles.
That's how I look at it.
Dustin?
Lifeline.
Okay.
Lifeline.
Where's your lifeline?
He was a gangster.
Wait, come again? Labor Day. Are you trying Where's your lifeline? He was a gangster.
Wait, come again?
Labor Day.
Are you trying to mess with me right?
No, that's for real, right?
I'm going to say Labor Day, Doug.
Yeah, Labor Day.
Thank you. Thank you.
I fought hard for that one.
He's a convict that needs a place to stay I fought hard for that one.
He's a convict that needs a place to stay and he ends up in a nice young lady's vagina.
Ah!
Wins let him in.
Where are we at?
My name is Harvey Milk
and I'm here to murder you!
Milk.
Milk.
What a dramatic presentation.
It's quite stirring.
The original screenplay.
Really good stuff, man.
That was pretty awesome.
I'm going to go with Everest.
I'm pretty sure he wasn't flirting with disaster.
That is correct.
Thank you, Sam.
Okay.
Thanks, Sam, for verifying that.
Well, that was my next one, so yeah.
Okay.
Very upsetting to hear it out of your mouth.
It was my last one.
All right.
Well, we'll see what happens.
Who knows?
Dustin?
You got one more?
This is the cowboy's last ride.
As Garth Brooks would say.
You had such a good run.
I'm much too young to feel this damn old, Doug.
But I'm just going to...
I know he was a gangster in some fucking movie
because he's got one of those really chilled faces.
It's really not the best way.
Well, after this, I'm done.
So it doesn't matter.
If I don't get this, it's over. It does matter. It's really not the best way. Well, after this, I'm done, so it doesn't matter. If I don't get this, it's over.
It does matter.
It's called game integrity.
So there's no lifeline at this point.
I'm going to say, you know, gangsters.
Oh, my gosh.
Gangster Squad.
That's correct.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Yes.
I was about to say public enemies. Oh! Oh, my God! Yes! Yes! Oh!
I was about to say public enemies!
We were all, the rest of us,
I don't know if I can speak for everybody,
but we were all pretty excited that you weren't coming up with Gangster Squad,
because we didn't think of it
until you started going,
oh, gangsters!
Dude, he had such a Dick Tracy-ass face, man.
In that movie, it was so flat.
He's got a flat-ass face.
He's got a Bruce Wayne-ass,
dark, animated series-type face.
Well, come on.
Sam hasn't even used his lifeline.
That's right.
How about instead I just name 10 James Brolin movies? Ooh. No, I can't do that. All right, lifeline. That's right. How about instead I just name ten James
Brolin movies?
No, I can't do that. Alright, lifeline.
Hook me up. We're Luciano.
Where are you? Lush.
Lush. Huh?
Mama Mia?
Mama Mia?
Oh, Luciano.
Mama Mia.
His girl seems sure.
She's positive.
You think he's Timothy...
I mean...
Do you think he's...
No.
Which one do you think he is?
You think he's Pierce Brosnan?
No, Timothy Dalton.
I love Josh Brolin in The World Is Not Enough.
I think that's...
End the Thomas Crown Affair. Of all the luck. I love Josh Brolin in The World Is Not Enough.
And The Thomas Crown Affair.
Of all the luck.
All right, so... Sorry, Sam.
That's what you got to work with.
That's so frustrating because I had flirting with disaster all locked and ready to go.
I know.
We're missing some major ones.
We are definitely missing some major ones.
I know I'm out.
This is going to be terrible.
We're going to go to the audience soon,
so don't say anything yet, you guys.
At this point, Doug,
and I always have to point this out at this point,
we have all named the exact same number
of Josh Brolin movies since I went first.
That's a good observation.
Yeah, that's interesting.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're going to be staying here, Sam.
No, I got nothing for right now.
No.
I thought you were going to do one of those,
but here's what it is.
No, I flirted with Disaster Gangster Squad.
And then...
No, he's not in that.
He's worked pretty consistently over the years.
He really has.
You just got to think about maybe some of those big directors.
Did he appear in one of the other ones?
Oh.
What do you got?
Are you going to sneeze?
Nope.
Got an answer?
Say it.
Sin City.
He's in Sin City?
No.
Two.
I believe.
What's it called? Full title. Sin City 2. Oh,. I believe. What's it called?
Full title.
Sin City 2.
Oh, son of a...
You don't get it.
I'm back in.
I got it.
Fuck.
Sin City 2, ladies.
Hey, don't do that.
Don't do that, you guys.
Don't do that.
Don't say yes or no.
And you have this, Doug?
Huh?
You have it?
Because I have it
I got it
Fuck
I want to ice go with that
Oh fun answer
Fun wrong answer
Sorry Sam
I know it's so hard
We gotta move it along
That's fine
Yeah yeah
Sin City 2
A Dame to Die For
Nope
A Dame to Kill For
A Dame to Kill For. Nope. A Dame to Kill For.
A Dame to Kill For.
For the win, probably.
A Dame to Kill For.
Sin City 2, colon, A Dame to Kill For.
Thanks.
You're holding out hope for Dustin.
Jacob Siroff, anti-Semite out there.
Jacob, you look like you can... why would you die for a dame?
You gotta kill for her.
I was stupid.
But she's definitely not a lady, Sam.
No, she's not.
I was thinking lady in the water to kill for.
Oh.
Is it my turn? Yeah.
Has somebody said... Someone said Goonies, right? Yeah. Has somebody said...
Someone said Goonies, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, Doug did.
That was me.
Oh, that was Doug.
Okay.
Pretty early on.
Let's see.
Josh Brolin, I mean, he's an older gentleman.
Who, J-Bro?
Before you came on the show, did one of the old
Who Wants to Be a a millionaire producers call you up?
Be like, look, before you give the answer, don't just blurt it out.
We got to have good TV here to really walk us through the process.
Well, when I was five, I was touched by my uncle.
I loved that show.
What sweet thing did your uncle do for you?
Nothing cool.
He touched you.
Left me with bad credit what the
heck man um he was touched get it dude okay anything damn it josh brolin josh brolin josh
brolin i know you man and you know that's how you do it you say it three times he appears
gives you an answer he was in a hilarious snl sketch where uh he was in a bar and Amy Poehler comes in all super pregnant.
Like really, for reals pregnant, not like the fake pregnant.
And then she acts all sexy and they are attracted to each other.
Did you ever see that sketch?
I haven't.
It's so funny.
I was like Chris Farley when he'd do the Chris Farley show.
You know that song you sang with the Beatles?
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
All right, do you have an answer, Dustin?
All right, I'm going to say a superhero movie.
Good call.
That's a good way to go.
And that superhero movie is...
Could be a few things.
Splash.
Are you getting signals from the audience or something?
What's happening?
It could be a couple of things.
Was someone pretending to fly or something?
A superhero movie, maybe...
It was a series of hand signals from Matt.
Damn it, dude.
I don't know what's going on.
He's not playing for you.
I ain't got it, dude. I'm going on? I don't, man. I ain't got it, dude.
I'm going to say
X-Men Last Stand.
No.
Yeah, I knew that it was wrong,
but I still said it.
Haley in the house.
Jacob's our winner.
Fun, fun.
Hey, no offense to Dustin,
but it's an honor
to beat Sam Levine.
Oh, of course, of course.
I expected to beat you.
Luciano, I'm sorry,
but you literally have
no one to blame but yourself.
God damn.
Haley, come up and get your prize bags.
Congratulations.
That's not just a win for Haley.
That's a win for Endor.
Did we ask what we missed?
The sanctuary moon, as the emperor referred to it.
Come on up.
I don't know how else to say it.
Haley.
So wait, what Josh Brolin movies did we miss?
Bring it, bring it.
Jonah Hex.
Jonah Hex.
Jonah Hex.
Mimic.
Mimic.
Guardians.
Guardians?
Guardians?
Guardians of the Galaxy or The Guardians?
He's Thanos?
The voice too?'s Thanos? The voice, too?
No shit?
Oh, Ultron.
All right.
Wait, he was Thanos?
I knew he was in a superhero movie.
Damn it.
Thrash him.
Thrash him.
Ah, rock on, bro.
Oldboy.
The absolutely unnecessary remake of Oldboy. Oldboy. The remake of Oldboy. True Grit. Damn it, right?
The absolutely unnecessary remake of Oldboy.
Avengers, they keep saying.
What's he in the Avengers?
Oh, okay.
Hollowman.
Oh, American Hustle.
He was in Hollowman?
Or not Hustle. American Gangster. American Hustle. He wasn't Hollow Man.
Or not Hustle.
American Gangster.
American Gangster.
See, I told you there was a shit ton of the ones we missed,
but you don't listen.
You sit there going, there's one.
There's two.
What?
Yeah.
What was the real answer?
Deep Blue Sea.
He was in that?
Wait a minute.
No way.
No, that was Thomas Jane.
Deep Blue Sea.
As what?
LL Cool J?
Has Josh Brolin in it.
No, that's another terrible Sam Jackson movie.
Goldeneye, she's saying.
She just said Goldeneye.
It's a Pierce Brosnan joke.
Sam and Dustin, pass me your name tags, please,
so I can do a presentation of a shithead at the end.
Sam, I know you mentioned
a couple things for people to look for you in,
but give us those again.
Yes, this Friday the 12th,
two days from the taping of this podcast,
check me out on Adult Swim's
Children's Hospital. I believe it airs
at midnight or 11.
I think it's midnight.
Thank you. I'm very
excited about that. It was a super fun thing and the other stuff
I have no air dates on so follow me on Twitter
I'm at Sam Levine
S-A-M-M-L-E-V-I-N-E
Sam Levine everybody
Thank you
What's it say?
I just...
It's interesting.
Deanna?
Okay.
Dustin, what do you got to plug?
I'll be in your neck of the woods
at some point at your local comedy club.
Go to DustinAndBarr.com and see that.
Also, Battle Creek. And the player got canceled, go to DustinDiBarr.com and see that. Also,
Battle Creek. The player got cancelled,
but I was in it three episodes, so go ahead and watch.
Thank you.
It's called
The Player? The Player, Wesley
Snipes, man.
It's not Robert Altman, it's The Player.
I keep thinking Robert Altman when you say it.
I know they did a Rush Hour series now. I thought maybe they did a player series.
It compliments the Rush Hours.
Every week he murders a new person.
It drives me crazy that
there's no... You could just name
new things the same name
that something else was. Not if it's the butler.
Just think of a new fucking name.
You know? Yeah, but have you heard
the new band The Beatles? Because they're pretty good.
I don't even get that.
No, because they're... Come on, Doug, really?
What?
There's a new Beatles.
Now I get it. Yeah, it's pretty good.
But it's spelled like a bug.
I was saying, but it's, you know what I mean?
I'm saying that it crosses over.
Like, they'll name a movie
a famous TV show title, and it's not that, you know, vice versa I'm saying that it crosses over like they'll name a movie a famous TV show title and it's not
that you know vice versa or
books or songs whatever
like Alf
no not like Alf
Jacob do your plugs before
I murder somebody I'm gonna plug
I'm gonna only plug
one thing I'm gonna be here at this very club headlining
Sunday February
21st.
There are only club seats 200 people. There are only
190 tickets left. So please.
Come on, you guys.
Get online. I'm Jacob.
Join those 10 Jar Jar
loving weirdos.
You know, it's all
racist crowd work.
The Jar Jar stuff is my private life. It's racist
crowd work. He doesn't stuff is my private life. It's racist crowd work.
He doesn't talk about it in his comedy.
He keeps his comedy nice and racist.
And no better place to do it than the American.
You're going to do another plug now after you said I only have one plug.
And then I was moving on.
I'm sorry.
You got one more?
Yeah, I'm going to be.
No, I don't.
Do it. It was a fake plug. It was a joke. What? Yeah, I'm sorry. You got one more? Yeah, I'm going to be... No, I don't. Do it.
It was a fake plug.
It was a joke.
What?
Yeah, it was a fake plug.
But you're right.
You were jumping in with a fake plug?
No, I interrupted you to do a fake plug.
Do it, do it.
It's not going to be funny now.
Oh, it's going to be so funny.
I'm going to go around and yell at every audience member
and force them to laugh at it.
I don't know why I decided that was the time.
It's like I'm the least stoned I've been the whole show.
Yeah, you keep being less and less stoned
until we end this fucking thing.
You got any more jokes you want to jump in with
that you don't do?
Do you want to jump in with more stuff that yields nothing?
Did we do the Jar Jar material already?
We did.
Okay, never mind.
I'm done.
Okay, thank you very much, Jacob Seroff.
Seriously, do come back and see him, you guys, right here.
Do that, Taley.
In this club.
And I'm going to be doing a Douglas Movies at the Gramercy Theater in New York City on March 3rd.
And thanks again to everybody for coming out tonight.
A terrific crowd.
Jacob's got to go somewhere right now.
He wants to get to that weed so bad.
Do you know the secret to get through that door?
It's called success.
He got through it.
He won.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, he killed it.
He won the game.
He's the best.
He won the game,
and he keeps finding ways to drag out the show.
As always.
The comedian Matt Damon is a shithead.
Loosh.
Loosh.
Loosh.
Should I pronounce this correctly or read it as written?
Which would you like?
As written. Here we go.
San Diego's poor road infrastructure is a shithead. Thank you.