Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine, Geoff Tate, and Cameron Buchholtz Guest
Episode Date: June 28, 2014Live from the Oklahoma Contemporary Arts Center in Oklahoma City, Doug welcomes Samm Levine, Geoff Tate, and Cameron Buchholtz to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and ...California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats
With 50 azot pop-up kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies This is where I get really jealous of musicians
because if I was in a band,
someone would have run in and done that for me hey everybody my name is Doug get ready and I love movies
this is Doug loves screaming that awesome. I love being screamed at.
Coming to you for the first time ever
from Oklahoma Contemporary Center for the Arts
in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma,
on Saturday, June 28th, Doug Benson Day.
Here we go.
Say it with me if you know it.
2014 Wolf of Wall Street fight.
Terminator 2.
Judgment Day of the dead men walking tall.
The president's men in black.
Fisher King.
Ralph a dog.
Day afternoon.
D-Lite.
Sleep perfect.
Murder by death,
which three of me ghost worlds and of watchmen.
Let me see your name tags, Oklahoma City.
This is, I had a feeling this would be a good selection from which my guests
today, tonight, get to choose some pretty awesome things. John with the wind, and I
am in some sort of embrace with, what's his name, Rhett Butler. Frankly, Doug, I don't give a damn.
Oh, that was kind of Bane-ish, wasn't it?
There's a Bane in the front row.
Frankly, Dark Knight, I don't...
Take a seat and take control of your life.
Yes, crawl back into the shadows.
I was born there.
It's slippery.
So that's awesome
that a guy with a Bane mask
brought Urban Cowboy
and John Travolta's got a...
Can you stand up
and show the whole crowd
the poster?
John Travolta has a Bane mask on.
Urban Cowboy. Well, I don't... show the whole crowd the poster. George Volta has a Bane mask on. Urbane
Cowboy. Well, I don't
make the decisions
about the name tags, but
I appreciate you guys bringing
good ones, and we'll see what
happens.
Go ahead and turn off
your lights.
Turn off your hard light!
All right, so I got some more things to say.
Austin, Texas, Doug Loves Movies comes to the Cap City Comedy Club next Saturday.
No, that's a stand-up show, Doug.
Well, why'd you write down Doug Loves Movies?
Because you were high.
So yeah, that's stand-up on Saturday, July 5th at
420, and then St.
Louis, I'm doing stand-up at the Firebird
on Monday, July 7th,
and
Oklahoma City. Who here
at this show is coming back for the
stand-up comedy show later tonight?
Thank you!
That's awesome.
I think there's a couple more seats still available
if anybody loves this so much.
Most of you will be like,
oh, we have tickets for both.
It's going to be an exhausting night.
But I will spoil it right now.
The three guests on the show
are also going to do stand-up comedy
on the show later tonight.
So that's going to be a chance to watch
everybody cut loose without me interrupting
with my games.
Now it's time for
Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.
This is one by me, Doug Benson,
on Twitter. I tweeted,
Andrew Dice Clay
is huge in Norway,
but over there they call him
Fjord Fairlane
This has been Tweet Relief
Tweets about fjords
San Francisco, celebrate Dabs Day
July 10th with me at Cobb's Comedy Club
And Sacramento
Two weeks from today, July 12th,
I'm doing a 420 stand-up show
at the Punchline.
All my dates, deets, and links
are at douglosmovies.com.
Let's look in the prize bag, you guys.
Let's see what kind of crazy stuff
people brought in.
I know I brought some pretty good items,
and I know it's a pretty heavy bag.
There's a copy of the film
Almost Famous.
Yes, it's not going to the film Almost Famous. Yes.
It's not going to be Kate Hudson.
The latest issue
of Entertainment Weekly.
It's really new. It's a really new one.
It's got the whole Mad Max thing in it.
I thought it was pretty exciting.
And then there's the CD.
Oh, I got this when I was on At Midnight
the other day. They give everybody
that's on there, no matter what
place you finish in, they give you
Bananagrams?
Yeah, the anagram
game that will drive you bananas.
So
somebody's going to get that.
It just feels like a bag
full of Scrabble tiles to me.
That's pretty much the game, right?
Somebody brought
Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.
I don't think Elton John's
going to ever be on the show.
Oh, this is cool.
A $1 off at Golden Corral.
It's a golden buck.
It's going to cost you $1 less
to stick your head underneath that chocolate fountain.
Just go nuts.
And coming up here on Monday, July 14th
in Oklahoma City at this very venue,
the Oklahoma Contemporary,
Mick Foley is going to be doing a show.
Yeah, good for him.
That says it's at 7.30,
and I bet you it will actually start at 7.30
because you don't want him mad backstage.
Me, I'm like, what, another half hour to get high?
Great.
Let's do this.
Okay, there's a couple more movies Madison and Oh frequency so they're both to Jim Caviezel classics and copies of
gateway Doug and gateway Doug too and a Oh a grandma would couldn't be here it's
the first of the like I've been here five years in a row now.
And this is the first time Graham wasn't able to come to me because he's busy making earbuds as a podcast documentary.
So I brought a Team Graham shirt for somebody to win tonight.
And I think that's everything.
But we'll see what else pops up when they get out here.
Please give a big warm welcome to Jeff Tate, Cameron Buchholz, and Sam the Ma'am Levine,
a.k.a. Lil Wolverine Eme.
Thank you, Oklahoma. Please be seated.
Now that's Pollock's joke, but they weren't right.
People were really standing, though.
You ruined your own thing with that.
That was for me who you guys see every week, right?
Like that was why you guys were so excited.
No, okay.
Well, let's ride that wave.
Let's start with a big round of applause, everybody,
for Cameron Buchholz is here.
Hello.
This would never have happened without him
because he was a young man with a dream
and he thought, I'm going to get Doug Benson
to come to Oklahoma City and do a show.
And then I did come to do a show.
And then the state, at the prodding of one of the promoters of the show,
got the governor to give me a day, like Doug Benson day.
Brad Henry, mind you, not Mary Fallin.
Yeah, it's been five years now.
Yeah, so back when we had a not horrible person running this five states.
There you go.
I can't argue with that.
I mean, somebody gives me a day, I'm on their team for the rest of...
And now we're stuck with you.
So now I just want, June 28th, I insist on doing a show here,
and I'm glad you guys showed up, because I'm going to do it anyway even if you don't
and I appreciate
the support. I think 20 years from now it's just going to be
me and you hanging out in this room
and it's just going to be
remember when. I'm not going to
let that happen Cameron.
No Cameron.
Also here
on this stage
Jeff Tate everybody
Jeff Tate is here
Hello
Good evening Oklahoma
We've been on a crazy two city tour together
Yeah
Where one of the cities he He was already just there.
And then, yeah.
We had a whole day off in between.
I went to Kings Island and rode rides.
And it was sweet.
I don't like that amusement park name
because it's not immediately recognizable
as an amusement park.
Like, it sounds like you just went to the beach.
Hey, that's also an amusement park
in Cincinnati.
There's one called the beach.
It's right across from Kings Island.
I like that the...
I like that your complaint is you don't recognize
the name of a thing in a town you're not from
or in or ever been to.
It's true.
Hey, what the fuck is Carnegie Hall?
It sounds like a deli.
How do I get there?
How do I get to Carnegie Hall?
And lastly,
but not leastly,
Sam Levine, you guys. Got in an aeroplane from los angeles
to be here and to surprise the heck out of you guys
come on hello uh so i think this going to be a pretty fun
Pretty fun panel
I think everybody knows their way around
Not only the Leonard Maltin game
But the other games that might
Pop up along the way
But you know I gotta ask everybody
Before we get too deep into it
If they've been to the movies lately
And if the sound of my microphone
Is just bugging me
or if it's weird to everyone.
It is not weird to me.
Okay, good.
I can tell you that.
Good acoustics for the guy on the other end.
And I have been to the movies a bunch recently.
Oh, please.
I saw A Million Ways to Die at the West in the box office.
And I also saw Edge of Tomorrow.
Oh, look at this service right here.
How about that?
It's impressive.
Very, very nice.
Oh, yeah, I got one too.
When I'm trying to host
and they bring me stuff,
it's like a magic trick
because it's there one second
and then the next second.
I mean, it's not that. You know what I
meant.
Oh, and then at home I watched
Jack Ryan's Shadow
Recruit.
How did that work out?
You know, my expectations were
very low, so
I was pleasantly surprised. I'm surprised
you even remembered you saw it. Like, that's
how forgettable that movie is. Wow.
Like, I enjoyed it while I was watching it, and then
the second it was done, it left my brain
entirely. You don't have to raise your hand. You're so
polite. Just jump in there. Just jump in.
I like that movie.
These two
fucking film nerds didn't get it.
I feel like
Chris Pine has the
charisma of a wet rag.
Yeah, like a really charismatic
rag.
Like a super handsome,
charismatic... I like him as Kirk
in the Star Treks. I like that
guy. Yeah.
As far as shitty Kevin Costner movies this year,
Three Days to Kill was way better.
Really?
Yeah.
I didn't see it.
It's Luc Besson, and it's very mid-90s action movie.
All right.
Okay.
I'll check that out on...
Somebody snorted it, my team, on Three Days to Kill.
It was pretty rough.
We did an interruption of it out in Los Angeles,
and it was tough sledding.
Who brought the Jim Caviezel double Beasle?
That would be me, because JC is my boy.
By the way, Jim Caviezel, who I know,
calls himself JC.
And why the fuck wouldn't he?
Those are his initials.
Did he start before or after he played Christ? Before.
Before.
That's how he signs his texts.
He signs his texts. Does he not
know the phone tells you? Not all of them.
He signs some of them. Does he
just always get new burner phones so he
has to tell you who's fucking texting you this time?
Caviezel's
on the run, you guys.
If I were him and I was giving an autograph, I'd write Caviezel for on the run you guys if I were him and I was giving an autograph
I'd write Caviezel for Sheezle
and I wouldn't sign my name
I only sign texts
if you ask for an autograph I'll just
write that thing and there's my album
you brought a copy of it
Just Another Clown is your
new album and it comes out on July
8th.
JC for short.
Before the street date, people
are getting this.
Mine comes out on July 8th as well.
We didn't talk to each other
about it. Better not see either of those on the black
market before the 8th. I'd be very
disappointed in you, Oklahoma.
Don't take it to Oklahoma City's non-existent
Chinatown and try to sell that.
This is the latest
issue of Entertainment Weekly.
I read it already.
Don't act like you're too good for EW.
I'm too good for this one.
I read it already. What are you going to wait for the next
time you're in a doctor's office six months from now
and hope they have that issue? You're going to read it today. What, are you going to wait for the next time you're in a doctor's office six months from now and hope they have that issue?
You're going to read it today.
In fairness, you could wait six months
because the big article is about a movie that comes out in 2015.
So take your time.
Apparently they're remaking Mad Max.
Yeah, and on the cover is the stars of it,
and it really is like a year away.
The last four or five Entertainment Weekly covers
have been like the thing that's coming out that weekend.
So it really threw me for a looper.
This is a very special...
I thought I had some time travel shit happening to me.
This is an entertainment b annually issue. Not weekly.
But you know what?
In a...
A year from now, when people read it
at their dentist office, they're going to be like,
oh shit, the new Mad Max comes out next week.
It's going to be exciting.
It's perfect, yeah. It's perfect for that.
Almost Famous, a copy of that
is going into the prize bag.
Who brought that? That was you, Cameron?
That is my favorite movie of all time.
It was directed by James Cameron.
That's why it's my favorite movie of all time.
It does that number two is fucking the one that was filmed here in Oklahoma City that I don't remember the name of.
Drugstore Cowboy?
Elizabethtown?
Elizabethtown.
Thank you, Sam.
My pleasure.
Elizabethtown?
Elizabethtown, thank you Sam My pleasure, now on Almost Famous
Have you done the thing where you watch
The scene where they couldn't get the rights to
Stairway to Heaven and you cue it up
And play it and then they act it out
As if it were playing in the soundtrack?
No, I mean I know this is worth your time
But who the fuck would cue that?
It's not Pink Floyd and Wizard of Oz
Like what's, I mean just imagine
Some sad stoner cueing that up as if it were
Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd
and being vastly disappointed.
That Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd thing
is also very disappointing.
When I was six years old,
my dad showed it to me.
Fucking mind-blowing.
Well, yeah, you were six.
You had a tiny fucking brain.
Right, and that's why I was listening to Pink Floyd.
Jeff, isn't there an episode of Cheers
that syncs up with Dark Side of the Moon?
They kind of all do
if you start it right.
I don't know if you guys know this, but every
Nickelback album syncs up with Paul Blart
Mall Cop.
Somehow, every single one. I don't know how they did it.
Is that insulting to one more than the other?
I think it's an even playing field sort of thing
I don't know
You also brought a copy of Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
I brought that
Oh I'm sorry
That's alright
I'm sorry
That was from Sam
And then Sam also brought a dollar golden corral
Sure why not I did that actually That was Cameron And then Sam also brought a dollar Golden Corral.
Sure, why not?
I did that, actually.
That was Cameron.
That was me, because I'm the piece of shit that gets a Golden Corral. I mixed them all up.
No, I ate a Golden Corral last week, and there was an old man selling those for a dollar.
And it's a dollar off, but apparently the dollar goes to some sort of charity.
And then you get a dollar off. But I bought sort of charity, and then you get a dollar off,
but I bought two of them thinking I could get two dollars off,
but no, it's fucking one coupon per time,
so I just had an extra,
and it's better for whoever wins,
because they can eat that not good food,
but they can eat a lot of it.
What Pink Floyd album sings with this story?
One of the shitty ones after Roger Waters left, for sure.
Have you seen any movies, Jeff?
Yeah, I saw...
I didn't get a chance to go to the movies
since the last time I've been on the show, but
I saw X-Men First Class
yesterday, and Wolverine.
Big, big Wolverine.
Oh, thank you.
I'm just confused.
That's what it's called, right?
Big Wolverine? I'd, right? Big Wolverine?
I'd like to see Big Wolverine
where a little boy
suddenly becomes an adult Wolverine.
But he's just a little boy still inside.
I liked them. They're good.
They were fun.
X-Men First Class.
I recommend it.
And a Wolverine, also.
They did a twist on that classic
James Bond movie.
A bunch of thugs throw a girl
off of a balcony in Vegas
and she lands in the pool
and James Bond says,
how did you know
that there was a pool down there and the guy goes
i didn't and in wolverine the same things happens and uh she asked wolverine the same
question he has the same response that's not really a twist that's just the same thing
no but it's a
twist that's just the same thing no but it's a i will it's a twist because he's got sideburns i have i have uh yeah she says it with a funny accent her part it's kind of a twist
i do have one question about these movies when the x-men when all kinds of shit is happening
and the x-men have to save the world how how come, and this is an honest question, I've asked it before and I never get a real answer.
People think I'm kidding.
But why don't they just ask the Avengers for help?
And vice versa.
Why don't the Avengers, like when they were fighting that time-jumping fucking robot worm, you know who could help?
There's a fucking bunch of X-Men over here doing nothing.
Because there are very strict union rules
about that sort of thing.
But I thought that was all... I don't know why Hulk
isn't the first thing you call
when there's a problem because he really
can just take care of everything.
Yeah. He can lift anything
of any size and then toss it.
And so you should
just call him. If he's busy
then get Iron Man and a lot of his suits
that's the pecking order
the guy with the bow and arrow
he's going to have to find another line of work
there was a cool bow and arrow guy
maybe he could get into phone sales
because he managed to talk somebody
into being in the Avengers
hey I'm one of you guys what do you do? bow and arrow? managed to talk somebody into being in the Avengers.
Hey, I'm one of you guys.
What do you do? Bow and arrow?
What? You should work at Sprint.
There's a cool bow and arrow guy in Wolverine, too.
Yep. Some Japanese dude.
Fucking real good with the bow and arrow.
I liked the action in that movie.
I thought it was good.
Yeah, it was fun. So much fun to watch.
Expectations were down, though. That helps.
Yeah, I mean...
Yeah, I didn't know.
I've only seen... Until yesterday, I'd only seen two movies
in the X-Men catalog,
and they were categorically the worst ones.
X-Men 3
and that first Wolverine movie.
Yeah, Origins, yeah.
You were correct on that assessment.
Yeah, well, I just found that out
because I would say,
I don't like X-Men,
here's the ones I've seen,
and everybody would be like,
oh, those fucking suck.
But as a big Cheers fan,
I feel like you should like X-Men 3.
Like, it's very Kelsey Grammer-centric.
Yeah, but I don't like Kelsey,
I like Frasier, man.
Do you not understand the difference? Frasier's not real. He's on a TV show. Like Kelsey. I like Frasier. He's a beautiful blue band. Do you not understand the difference?
Frasier's not real.
He's on a TV show.
If that was Frasier playing Beast...
Oh, if Beast acted like Frasier,
it would be much more interesting.
He's just constantly running with scissors.
Just very flustered all the time.
That fucking ugly recliner would have been gone in the pilot.
That fucking ugly recliner would have been gone in the pilot.
But Beast has kind of the refined taste that he's similar in that sense.
I think.
I feel like you guys are describing Frasier from Frasier,
which is not the same Frasier as the one that's on Cheers.
They're the same guy, ostensibly, but the one in Frasier is a fucking ham,
and the one on Cheers is real cool.
Hey, Cameron, what have you seen lately?
That's the only one left to answer, right?
Last night I watched Cuban Fury.
Oh.
Which is, it's the new, it's Nick Frost and Rashida Jones and Chris O'Dowd.
Some sort of contest.
It's about salsa dancing.
Salsa dancing contest.
And however many of you people salsa dance are as many people that should watch it.
Because it's fucking horrible.
Just eat a Cuban sandwich while watching Hot Fuzz and then that's a better substitute.
I've done that.
I don't know what he was talking about before,
but that Cuban sandwich idea
is fucking top notch, you guys.
You should do that.
It's never not.
I recommend Cuban sandwiches
with all your movies.
Whatever it is you're seeing.
Whether it's about dancing or Cubans or
whatever movies you're into.
Three Days
to Kill, Shadow Recruit.
I snuck a Cuban sandwich in when
I saw Shadow Recruit.
Why do you think I wear a jacket like this? These pockets,
dudes.
That'd be weird
if the shadow recruit,
like when he's sneaking in places,
people are kind of like...
Yeah, what do you smell?
Pork?
It's my aftershave.
I have a pressed meat aftershave.
Wait, that's how you sneak in?
You start telling people
why you smell that way?
Yeah.
Stops the conversation.
I thought you were trying to sneak
by them. That was my premise.
It's time for me to say
let the games
begin.
Oklahoma
City.
Got some good ones lined up.
Got some bottles crackling back there.
It means everybody's having a good time.
Don't be shy.
The front row probably feels like we're just sitting here staring at you.
I mean, now you know how we feel.
I feel really bad for the guy in the Bane mask.
You can take that off, dude.
It's okay.
We get it, and it's awesome,
but you can't be comfortable.
Maybe he needs it to breathe.
It just makes me...
That'd be so terrible
if somebody had a breathing device
retrofitted to be like,
I want it to look like Bane.
But it would be even worse
if there was just a dude out there like,
that fucking action movie is messing with my disease.
I can't.
I feel very marginalized now.
Yeah, what if that's what that guy looked like,
and then that movie came out, and he's like,
are you fucking kidding me?
People are going to think I copied him.
Now, was this a Halloween Halloween thing Or is this just a
No
The guy
The guy next to Bane answered
Yeah
It matches
It matches his
Name tag and everything
Like he's really
Yeah
Oh wow
Yeah yeah
But yeah it's gotta be
At least it's not as hot in here
As it has been in previous years
It's pretty comfortable right now
But
That You got the
coat from Burlington
Coat Factory.
That thing's fucking heavy, and then you've got
that whole thing on your face, and it's rubber,
and your face is...
I mean, are you trying to lose weight in your face?
Because then
I'd recommend leaving it on.
Is that how you do that? But you can take it
off if you'd like. People get committed when they put on things like that sometimes.
They're just like, fuck it, I'm going to ride this out.
I don't think he wants to take it off.
He's just like, I'm going to wake up in an ambulance, god damn it.
That's what I'm going to do.
Now here's a very interesting question.
Did you drive here like that?
Or was this an in the car right before coming into the theater move?
Was it on a motorcycle that you stole?
I hope all three of you know sign language
because he's got a fucking thing on his face.
He's got an interpreter
who's been answering for him.
That's what Bane would really sound like
to be able to just be like... And how much better would that movie be
if he had a nerdy interpreter with him the whole time?
What he's trying to say is...
Gentlemen.
Everybody brought name tags
there's lots of awesome ones out there to choose from
I do not envy your decision
but it's time
nobody pick Bane cause he's had too much attention as it is
it's time to
don't tear down name tags
just pick one that you like
and uh
yeah just go for it right now you guys
go ahead and go pick out who you're going to play for.
We don't have a sponsor on this show,
so we're going to let the audience hear
how painfully dull it can be
listening to people pick their name tags.
How terrible I am at...
Jeff is making a defiant move
and going with the Bane guy.
Yeah, so that's probably going to... Jeff is making a defiant move and going with the Bane guy. Yeah.
So that's probably good.
There's some tension there.
Oh, the Bane guy is another guy's name tag?
He's like your property for the night?
Well, there's a piece of paper on the back of this
for where a shithead would go, but no shithead.
Oh, did it fall off?
You didn't write one?
You're going to draw it in later?
Okay. Alright.
Who are you playing for, Cameron?
I am playing for half-jaked.
So Jake...
With a half-baked, get it?
Because it's...
I like that this person
not only replaced your face, Doug,
but put his own on it, too.
Like, it's all...
It's fully Chris...
Like, fuck Dave Chappelle
and Jim Brewer.
Like, it's just...
Forgetting about Jim Brewer
as if he never existed,
like most people are
living their lives.
Well, it's like that.
It's like the guy... It's like the Gone with the Wind, John with the Wind poster. They've got... like most people are living their lives. That's not fair at all.
It's like the Gone with the Wind,
John with the Wind poster.
Now the lady who played Scarlett O'Hara never going to be heard from again
now that I've replaced her.
And he put his face,
your face over the lady's face
so the man in that poster
is looking at you like you're a lady
and they got mad because you said
damn in that movie. Imagine
how mad they would have been if a guy
was like, hey, I kind of like this guy.
What was her name?
The actress from Scarlett O'Hara? Is that right?
What?
Gwyneth Paltrow.
Everybody's
yelling out different things. I can't make out
any of them. Just one
person.
Oh, Bane knew it. Vivian Lee.
So, yeah.
Who are you playing for, Jeff?
I'm playing for Bane. Oh, you're playing for Bane.
Alright, perfect.
He's really Bane.
I think he's really Bane. Oh, you're playing for Bane. All right, perfect. He's really Bane. I think he's really Bane.
I got close up.
That does not seem like a costume
when you're right up on it.
Oh, did he put like the back of his hand
on your shoulder?
Yes.
Do you feel like you have a choice?
And I thought, I felt like I did, but I really didn't.
He's also really
confused about that Entertainment Weekly
cover with him on it.
Oh,
don't, I don't think,
I think those are two different people.
It's the dude that played Bane, he's playing Mad Max, right?
Mad Max and Bane are two different people.
Tom Hardy, yeah, he's the
boat, that's what I'm saying. Who's Tom Hardy? Max and Bane are two different people. Tom Hardy, yeah. He's the bull. That's what I'm saying.
Who's Tom Hardy? Yeah, Bane
is a real person and Mad Max
is a real person. Do you mean the fictional character
based upon Bane here in the front row?
I'm sorry. I'm very confused. I apologize.
I didn't realize this was part of canon.
What? Sam?
Yeah.
Who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Maybe It's Jason.
And this caught my eye because this is a script for a TV program
called Maybe It's Me,
which ran one season on the WB in 2002.
And evidently, Jason and I
appeared in this episode together.
Whoa!
And I've not seen him in 12 years.
Where is he?
Where are you sitting, Jason?
Oh, hey, man.
What are you doing in Oklahoma City?
When Maybe It's Me got canceled,
you just came to Oklahoma City?
Is that what happened?
Did someone trick you into thinking it was Disneyland?
I'm from here, and I still want to ask every single audience member,
what are you doing in Oklahoma City?
That's not fair, but...
Wow.
If I could just get out of this mask,
they won't let me on a plane.
Yeah, you can't leave. It's too scary.
You can't get through security. I can't even rent a car. Yeah, you can't leave. It's too scary. You can't get through security.
I can't even rent a car.
Honest question.
When a TV show gets canceled,
do they make those people move to Oklahoma?
Is that why you're here?
That is why I'm here.
I fought it as long as I could.
It's a very talented town.
Welcome to it, Sam. Happy to be very talented town. Welcome to it, Sam.
Happy to be here.
Yeah.
You will flourish, man.
I got greeted at the local IHOP today with a very lovely,
Shalom, y'all.
It's nice.
I felt right at home.
I'm trying to think of the nicest person I ran into today
but everybody's just super nice
yeah
it's our way
I don't like it
it makes me uncomfortable when people are that nice
I don't know
you're making up for it
you know what?
I feel like I'm in therapy right now
Because that just explained my whole life
Yeah, man
Maybe you should move from this town
And then watch Jack Ryan again
And be like, you know what?
This ain't that bad
I just got used to hating everything
Which one did you think was worse, though?
I know you didn't like Jack Ryan, Shadow Crew
But what about The Sum of All Fears?
Did you not care for Affleck, Jack Ryan?
I feel like I liked that movie when it came out,
but I don't know.
I mean, I haven't seen it since 2002 or whatever.
Morgan Freeman was the president,
and I'm always on board with that.
He was not the president.
He was not the president.
James, uh...
Cromwell.
Well, then fuck that movie.
James Cromwell was the president.
Oh, well, no, then fuck that guy If James Cromwell was the president Oh well no then fuck that guy
Points
Morgan Freeman played the black guy
That's in those movies
James Earl Jones was the black guy
I just mostly assume Morgan Freeman
Is the president all the time
Like I think that's probably what it is
I honestly don't think Morgan Freeman
Would be a good president
He's not even the president in the Lego movie.
He sure is president of that car that he shares with Miss Daisy, though.
Because he gets out and he takes that leak.
Let's start with you, Cameron. We gonna play abc these nuts uh in honor of our
first time doing doug lowe's movie right here in this spot we're gonna spell out oklahoma city
and uh we'll start with you cameron you just name any movie begins with the letter o if you match
what i wrote down before the show which has happened a couple of times uh you just name any movie that begins with the letter O. If you match what I wrote down before the show, which has happened a couple
of times, you just
win automatically.
I'm just going to go with O.
I think that's the obvious.
People like to say O. It comes
up every once in a while.
I might pick it, sure.
But considering where we are right now,
I just decide to go with Oklahoma.
Makes sense.
Makes sense.
Oh, man.
Hang on my face now.
I have the state tattooed on my body
and I'm still just like,
no, that Shakespeare thing.
How did you?
Don't ask.
Jeff.
Keeping the faith.
Nice.
My only trepidation there is spelling Oklahoma.
I wasn't positive the K was next.
There may have been an A. Who knows?
I'll talk you through it.
I love to bring up what letter is next.
But I went with Kill Bill Volume 1
because it was shot partially in Austin, Texas
where I'm going to be next Saturday
July 5th
L, Sam
Last Man Standing
Bruce Willis
sure, sure, was he? I don't remember
he was
I went with Life which was partially filmed
in Sacramento where I'll be on July
12th.
Cameron, back to you with the letter A.
I'm going to go with Almost Famous,
in which I put the DVD in.
That's a great, would have been an amazing coincidence
if all of that happened.
I went with American Flyers.
Because it was set partially
in St. Louis where I'll be at the Firebird
on July 7th.
I love people
always setting me up.
Why that movie?
H, Jeff.
Howard the Duck.
Someone knows how to pander.
Howard the Duck? Really? I wouldn't have guessed
if people were that excited about Howard the Duck.
Do you actually watch it regularly, or are you just...
Okay. All right.
You know, there's something for everybody.
There's stuff I could watch over and over again
that people don't like, probably.
Who said what? We're on age?
Yeah, what did you break for age?
I went Hulk.
The just Hulk, because it took place in San Francisco
where I'll be on July 10th.
Well, I don't know your schedule.
Hopefully you've got a gig in Anaheim or something,
because I'll say Orange County.
Oh, that would have been fun if they were right.
Good strategizing.
I went with, oh, dad, poor dad,
mom has hung you in the closet,
and I'm feeling so sad.
How did I miss that one?
Which is a fucking legit-ass name of a motion picture.
None of that's even in parentheses.
Just how a lot of them get away with it.
M is the next letter.
I'm going to go with Man of the House,
the Jonathan Taylor Thomas Chevy Chase classic.
Okay.
I don't know, man. I was going to go with Belissafin or whatever, but I didn't know, Beth
I was gonna go with
Belissaphon or whatever
But I didn't know how to
Pronounce it in my head
And I think I did it wrong
Right then
And that's why I decided
To go with something else
You never
Every time you say Maleficent
There's a good chance
You said Maleficent wrong
Yeah
I feel really bad
For the ticket takers
The weekend that came out
Oh boy
Yeah
Or any weekend
I just asked for a ticket to Omnipotent
and they knew what I wanted.
Why didn't you go with Man of the House,
the Tommy Lee Jones movie
of the same name that was filmed in Texas
where Doug's going to be soon?
Because JTT, son.
Damn right.
Oh, shit.
That's the thing you like?
Yeah, that's what I went with. That's a super good reason. I'm a millennial, guys. All right. Oh, shit. That's a good reason. That's what I went with.
It's a super good reason.
I'm a millennial, guys. This is my youth.
I went with My Blue Heaven
because it was shot in San Diego
where I'll be doing a Douglas Movies
on July 23rd at the House of Blues.
Yeah.
We'll see how that goes.
I think it's going to be too rowdy.
It's not going to be polite like y'all.
It's the most half-assed, last-minute attempt to fit in.
Y'all.
You should learn from Jack.
Oh, by the way, and also y'all.
Imparting y'all have been terrific
what letter are we on?
who's happening?
it's an A to me
I'm going to go with Airborne because I was filmed in Cincinnati
where I'll be July 10th through 13th
damn right
go bananas
Shane McDermott
Go see
Jack Black
Jack Black
Seth Green
Alana Yubak
Yeah some lady
Some other gal
A
Show off
No it's
It's C now
What
Cause he just did Airborne
Oh I gotta say mine
Away we go.
Because we're all done.
Good night, everybody.
Partially set in Madison, Wisconsin, where I'll be on August 3rd.
Okay, sorry, Sam.
C.
That's all right, buddy.
C, C, C.
Well, I know you've got some gigs coming up in New York, so I'll go with the sort of New
York-based, sliced-alone classic, Copland.
C.
C. C? C.
If you had to say another C, what would you pick?
Oh God.
If it turned out that it landed exactly
on you
and what's happening right now has happened to a lot
of people on the show.
Where they don't
put together that it might possibly
be a motion picture
that they were in.
In this case, called...
Club Dread.
Club Dread. Yeah, that's it.
I wrote Club Dread.
Because you're going to be in southern Mexico soon?
No, and not because I'm going to be in you soon, either.
It's because...
Hey, don't cut this night short before it's begun.
I will be up in you,
is what I say to people when I want to fight.
I will be up in you.
You will be like that skeleton
on Jeff Dunham's arm.
That fucking dumb skeleton.
Yeah.
Seriously.
Of no particular religious affiliation.
Wink, wink.
The letter is I, Cameron.
I'm going to go with the Inland Empire.
Ooh, interesting.
I went with In the Army Now.
So we both sort of went with art films,
but mine was filmed in Oklahoma.
Yeah. It's not because you're going to be in the Army soon?
Yes.
I don't know.
I hope rules don't suddenly change real fast.
Pot smokers are in the Army now.
What?
There's just some really excited recruiter that's just like,
I'm going to fuck over that dude from that pot movie.
really excited recruiter that's just like,
I'm going to fuck over that dude from that pot movie.
I just, you know, people who get mad at that
pot movie don't even fucking sit through
it. They just go
find something else to be angry about.
T, Jeff.
Traffic, because it was
filmed in Cincinnati, and I'm going to be
there.
Where are you going to be at, Go Bananas?
Go Bananas.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
I went with Twister.
Because it was filmed in Wyoming.
Really?
Nope.
Nope.
Good old Oklahoma.
Does it take place here in Oklahoma? Takes place in Oklahoma. Really? Nope Nope Good old Oklahoma But
Doesn't it take place
Here in Oklahoma?
Takes place in Oklahoma
Maybe they shot it
Somewhere else
Does Aunt Meg
Live near Wichita?
No, Warika
Oh
Wichita's in Kansas
Alright, one last letter
How is it?
It's nearby
Why?
Keeping with the
With the I guess I don't know, Young Guns?
Maybe they shot that here?
Sure.
That's probably maybe the closest guess, just in terms
of this similar word at the beginning of the title.
Young Frankenstein? No, another
great guess, but still incorrect.
Young Einstein?
I went with another one that's right in the ballpark.
Maybe if you had
five or six more, you would get there.
I'll tell you if you're
warmer or colder.
Oh, you want me to keep going?
Yeah, that last one was pretty close.
Oh, no. Young
Guns 2.
Got it. Nailed it.
No. Cold.
Youth and Revolt.
And I think it was partially filmed in Ann Arbor.
Will be on July 28th.
That's ABCD's Nuts, y'all.
How we doing on time?
How's the time going?
Is it good?
Oh, it looks good enough.
Let's try this.
I have 646.
Yeah, me too.
Still on Pacific Time.
We both got the same time.
That's the thing.
Stoners and non-stoners, but still the same time.
Wow.
What?
That's why all the racists should get together too.
Because it's still,
if you're standing next to each other,
you're in the same time zone.
Start building up those allies.
That's all I'm saying.
The big fight is coming, Cameron.
I believe it.
I don't know.
I'm just trusting you.
And it's over this next game.
Because I get more complaints about this
game than any other game.
But the biggest complaint I get is that I don't play it
enough. It's called Build
a Title.
I started opening the program with it to just teach
people how simple it is
to build a title and uh we're
gonna start with you again cameron and then uh but this time let's go to sam and then jeff
and we're gonna start with filmed partially in oklahoma and i believe mentioned this evening evening. Rain Man.
Rain Man.
So you have to add to Rain Man. Man of Steel.
Rain Man of Steel.
I like that.
I also like Rain
Man of Steel Magnolias.
Oh.
Oh, that's good.
This lady thinks she's at a taping of Good Times.
Tell them, Velma.
Rain Man of Steel Magnolias, Jeff.
Hard Rain Man of Steel Magnolias.
Yeah.
I think people might be in trouble
I was about to say
Walk Hard but I know that's Walk Hard
The Dewey Cox story
So that probably doesn't count
You know too much
And I'm just saying that out loud
To give me more time to think
You did not walk into my trap
And you've given yourself more time.
Bravo on both counts.
But even with the more time,
I'm pretty sure I'm still fucked.
Something hard.
No, don't tell me.
Like, I appreciate the help, but go fuck
yourselves. I'm going to do this on my own.
I'm a grown-ass man.
You're definitely going to say what somebody just said, I'm sure.
I actually didn't hear it.
That's the sad part.
I wish I tried.
Oh, man.
They said one that you should be.
It's driving everybody crazy.
That's what happens.
People can't take it after a while.
They just start yelling shit out.
And I make this mistake of every once in a while
I ask the crowd, but I do, I think it's
fun to hear what people have to say, but
wait your turn.
That's my idea
of scolding somebody.
Wait your turn. I think I have
to concede. I don't know. I'm fucked.
Just wait your fucking turn.
What?
You gotta concede? I think so, yeah.
All right, all right.
So he's out.
Cameron's out.
And then we move on to Sam.
I, of course, was thinking of Die Hard.
Die Hard.
Jesus Christ!
Yeah.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
It was right there.
It was right there on the tip of that person's face,
right over there.
Came right off the tip of it.
I haven't interrupted that movie with you.
Yeah, we did that in Austin.
That's true.
Okay, so
let's come back around to you, Jeff.
And you have to come up with something that ends in die
or begins with Magnolias.
Leas.
Eeyas.
Ears.
So yeah, you're fucked on Magnolias, I think.
Gotta think if something ends with die.
I'm... Fuck.
Nothing?
Yeah, nothing.
Okay.
Sam, just to rub it in, do you have anything? Die, mommy, die hard. Die, mommy, die? Yeah, nothing. Okay. Sam, just to rub it in, do you have anything?
Die, mommy, die hard.
Die, mommy, die.
Yeah, so then I was...
I thought that was pronounced D, mommy, D.
The next...
That's why I didn't say it.
I thought of it.
The next player would be stuck with die again.
Oh, you're good.
But too soon yeah but that's a great answer
live and let die but it's over anyway
so yeah so Sam
Sam wins
was it the lateness of the starting time
that has led to some people
who are too drunk
to not yell out answers?
Yes.
Is that what's happening?
No.
So, yeah, so be careful.
If you're next to one of those people,
I know it's hard, because drunk people are just like,
they're going to do what they're going to do.
But, you know, try to get them to not do it.
Good luck.
Good luck Good luck everybody
Stakes are high and so am I
It's in the air tonight
Let's play
Last Man Stanton
Sam gets to start us off
Then we'll go to Jeff
Then we'll go to Cameron We then we'll go to Cameron.
We need...
It has to be Bane, if he could whisper it
to the person sitting next to him.
Choose an actor, actress, or director
with a large body of work.
So Christopher Nolan is out.
Tom Hardy is out.
I guess you could say Christian Bale,
but why would you?
Because he's mortal enemies.
Who would you like to pick
for us to play with tonight?
Charlize Theron.
I'll play a round of that with her.
That sounds like a good time.
I'll go with the aforementioned
and most recent
A Million Ways to Die in the West
okay
did someone just go aww
I think it's a good strategy
get one out of the way that's already been spoke of
what do you got there Jeff
Charlize
yeah that's what I call her.
Charlize Monster Theron.
They gave her an Oscar for doing
possibly the best Beetlejuice impression
I've ever seen
on celluloid.
And if you don't believe me,
feel free to watch side by side.
Hey, hey, hey, I'm not gay.
Okay? I'm not gay.
Alright?
Tell me I'm wrong.
Where's your Oscar, Sam?
That's a pretty good
Beetlejuice impression.
No, I was doing Charlize.
I was doing Charlize.
Do you think she was just like,
you know, pacing a room one night
trying to figure out the character?
Yeah, find the voice.
Fucking Beetlejuice was on?
Yep.
100%.
Is that what you did
with this prom episode?
Oh, yeah.
Maybe it's me?
Yeah.
I had to find a voice for it.
Okay.
What'd that guy sound like?
He sounded a lot like me.
Are you sure it's not you?
Maybe it's me.
I did not put the effort in back those days.
Cameron? Young adult.
Okay.
That's one for sure.
Um, I'm gonna go
with...
I would like... Shh!
Weirdo.
Shut up, you weirdo.
I wanna say... Oh, mother
fuck. Prometheus.
I want to say
Aeon Flux.
Yes.
We're not saying
whether they're good or bad.
We're just naming our fucking movies.
I think in that case, we don't have to.
Oh, I just thought of a good one.
I just thought of a good one.
Is it on you, Jeff?
Yeah, the Italian job.
Oh, you son of a bitch.
That's what I had.
Oh.
You insult me and then fuck me over.
Couldn't have worked out better
Cameron, you have Charlize Theron Snow White and the Huntsman?
Is that what it's called?
It's the prequel to Malicement
I don't know, what the fuck is that called? But you said it, Snow White and the Huntsman Snow White and the Huntsman? Is that what it's called? It's the prequel to Maleficent? I don't know. What the fuck is that called?
But you said it's Snow White and the Huntsman?
Snow White and the Huntsman? Yeah, that's the answer.
Good. That's the correct answer.
Fantastic. I'm shocked that that's correct.
Right? That's correct.
Yeah.
It's not the sad little
girl and the Huntsman?
Maleficent is about Snow White?
Same shit, right?
I have no idea.
Same shit, different season?
I didn't see either one of those movies.
Golden era Disney, guys.
Come on.
Okay, you had one taker on that.
Did you say golden era Disney?
She's married, probably.
Those movies came out last year.
No, but Snow White
and Sleeping Beauty were both
Golden Era Disney animated movies.
I don't know if you had a childhood or not.
Don't go fucking up completely.
No, I had a childhood.
It wasn't in the 40s.
And where did Sleeping Beauty come from?
Is that what one of these movies is about?
Listen, you guys,
this is just something I want to throw in.
It's not necessarily a correct title in this game,
but I just always have wanted to say it
because I feel it deep in my heart,
and that's that the Cider House rules.
It's a fucking sweet house.
Really, it really is the best house.
Good night, you kings have no wing then.
That was more Jay Peterman than Michael Caine.
All right.
That was supposed to be Michael Caine?
What have you got, Sam?
No stalling.
Oh, no stalling?
All right, the devil's advocate.
Oh.
Yeah.
Team Sam.
Stall. Jeff. Yeah! Team Sam! Stop.
Jeff?
Somebody's scatting up there.
This is a tough one.
She's been in some movies, but...
Oh, I just thought of another one.
The fucking...
Yes, yes.
That one. No, that one with... Don't yell out, please. Oh, yes, that one.
No, that one with...
Don't yell out, please.
Oh, that's the one you just said, right?
The devil.
Please don't yell out.
Please don't yell out.
Oh, Goldmember.
No.
You're thinking of like, what is Paltrow?
At the beginning, the cameo?
Is that what you're thinking?
Yeah, most likely.
Okay.
I might have been thinking Gwyneth Paltrow this whole time.
Did I get a couple right?
You lucked into a lot of right answers
thinking it was Gwyneth Paltrow.
What's the difference?
All right, so Cameron, What do you got
I got one
I know the movie but I just can't think of the
Fucking title
And then another one I've got locked in
It's ready to go
God damn it
I keep wanting to say Arrested Development
But I know that's not...
The only thing my mind is letting me go to...
People are still trying to yell out answers.
Don't yell out to me again.
I'm going to do this by myself.
And by that, I mean I'm not going to do it.
You don't have it?
I don't have it.
All right, I have to use the one that I haven't saved up.
It's Two Days in the Valley.
Is it down to you and me, Doug?
First time we really sort of noticed her.
Yeah, I think so.
I hope you can come up with the other one
because I got Hancock.
You know what I just got?
What?
That thing you do.
Yeah.
It's pretty good.
She's in that movie.
What else you got, buddy?
What else do you have, buddy?
Does it matter that I went first
and we've named an equal amount of movies between us?
Or do I have to name an extra one?
No, because if you can't name one and I can,
then I win.
But if you name one and I can't, then you win.
But you have to go first
because it's the order
of things.
Are you asking for a gentleman's draw?
No.
You're the winner of the panel, for sure.
It's just you and me right now.
I think I have exhausted
the depth of my
paradigm.
Why, Sam, why?
Because it's going to be a tie. I can't think of another one.
But I'm going to try.
I'm going to take 49 seconds.
Really think about this.
I tell you, I never want to be staring Bane in the face
when trying to answer trivia questions.
It's terrifying.
Sam, for the win, you can take it away from me
if you know the title.
What was the fucking movie where she worked in the mines and was going to get black money?
Oh, North...
What's it called?
Don't say it!
Cold Mountain.
Don't say it.
North Country?
North Country?
North Country.
North Country. Sam wins.
No, with this.
With a pretty heavy assist. A pretty significant assist from you, Doug. North Country. North Country, Sam wins. No, with a pretty heavy assist.
A pretty significant assist from you, Doug.
Thank you.
I guess some lawyers got involved.
They didn't want to pinpoint a specific area.
It was like, yeah, we're having a problem with the mines in North Country.
Yeah.
North Cadillac-y.
I still prefer Silkwood and Norma Rae.
This guy with his list of blind movies.
It's not a competition.
What is a competition is a thing that we call the Leonard Maltin game.
And it's coming in pretty much right on sketch.
We're doing great, everybody.
Sam gets to go first.
Don't panic, you guys.
That doesn't mean anything.
I got to limber up here.
Not in this game.
And then we are going to go to... Who finished second in that last thing that we just did?
I think me and Jeff got out the same round.
At the same time?
Can you name one more?
North Country.
I think he gets it.
All right, then we'll go to Jeff.
Any audience, Charlize Theron's?
Astronaut's Wife.
Mighty Joe Young.
Reindeer Games.
Damn it.
Jesus. Oh, God damn it Jesus
oh god damn it
November
sweet November
yeah
sweet November
the legend of Bagger Vance
sir
in my house
oh that's fun it's so fun that there's always more house.
Oh, that's fun. It's so fun that there's always
more and everybody knows
it and we're just looking like idiots.
Don't tweet them
to me.
Someone's going to
hear this tomorrow and be like,
you know, astronaut's wife.
I'm going to be like, yeah.
We missed some.
It happens every time.
It's the nature of the game.
Get three of your friends together. I'm sorry.
That was rude. But everybody should tweet
at Jeff Gwyneth Paltrow
movies and just let
that be. Yeah.
Yeah, you guys could do that anyway.
I don't really care.
I just like the interaction.
Shakespeare in Love.
Bounce!
Sliding Doors.
Iron Man.
Iron Man.
Iron Man.
Lightning Round of Gwyneth Paltrow.
Iron Man 2.
Hey, you guys still aren't playing.
Everybody's playing again.
I forgot to release the ban on playing from the audience.
Everybody look in your hands right now.
If you're holding a microphone, feel free to talk.
If you're not holding a microphone, shut the fuck up.
You notice how these lights are pointed one direction?
Oh, I love one direction.
Yeah, this show is about us and the front row, and that is it.
If you're not illuminated, you do not get to participate.
You're not a part of the Illuminati.
And even then, only if you're dressed as Bane and you have a translator.
So yeah, you guys know how it works.
Everyone's just having fun.
No one's going to spoil the big game, I don't think.
No.
Plus I made it really hard tonight.
The game?
No.
A perfect murder.
No.
Right?
No, it's pretty regular style.
It's not that hard.
I don't think.
Contagious!
There's some... When you're picking a category, there's pretty regular style. It's not that hard. I don't think. Contagious! There's some...
When you're picking a category,
there's definitely some booby traps.
There's definitely some older, weirder movies.
Try not to repeat.
I'm sure I've repeated some movies a million times.
Just say booby traps again.
I bet you that Jerry Maguire
has been the answer about 50 times on this show.
Here we go.
Did you say Jerry Lawler?
What?
Jerry Maguire? Oh, I thought you said
Jerry Lawler. Frequent
answer in this game, don't you think?
I guess. I don't know. I don't think I've ever said it.
It fits a lot of funny category names.
Speaking of which,
Sam, you get to pick. Okay, and then who are we going to?
We're going to go to Jeff.
I guess we'll go to Jeff.
Yeah.
The host of...
Afternoon, everybody.
An all-cheers podcast.
Ha ha ha!
That lady said hi!
Hi!
So gullible.
You know it's not the afternoon, right?
What?
I said, can I start a Frasier podcast
and me and you will have a network?
No.
Take on the world?
You can start a Frasier podcast,
but we're not
networking it up together.
I ignore Frasier's existence.
The show
really shits on the source
material.
Can I start a Becker podcast
and we'll have a network?
I think the part he's balking most
at is it being in a network with you. How about a board-to-death network? I think the part he's balking most at is it being in a network with you.
How about
a board-to-death network?
We're already there.
Well, you know what?
Sam, would you like
Nikki Sixx? That's the films of
Nicolas Cage from 86, 96,
or 06?
Three Decades of Cage. The classic Ger, or 06. Three decades of Cage.
The classic
Gerard Depardont,
which is the films of Gerard
Depardieu, if Leonard
is given two stars or less.
And then,
Who's Your Daddy?
Which makes no sense since I'm not in
Indiana.
But it's still a fun category,
is films that have incest in them.
I'm not talking about like Jeff Goldblum's The Fly.
I said incest.
Tempting as that is.
Give me Nikki Sixx.
Nikki Sixx.
Would you like a Nikki Sixx from...
Yeah, you get to choose.
86 or 96?
86.
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
Yeah, man, you're a real motherfucker.
What?
What?
Oh, my God, damn it. All right. What? Oh my god
Damn it
Alright
I'm excited about this
I don't know what's gonna happen
Two stars from Leonard
For this movie
That he calls humdrum
But also real life
Which is sometimes humdrum Sure Maybe that's why drum, but also real life.
Which is sometimes humdrum.
Sure.
Maybe that's why.
Yeah, it's the last line of the review is just three words, and it's these three words.
Take a seat.
That is an odd way to end a review.
Yeah, it seems like he's endorsing it,
but only he gave it two stars.
Yeah, he didn't really, two stars, but then take a seat.
Take a seat.
No, the last three words are,
barely stays afloat.
Barely stays afloat.
But he gave it two stars.
Smells more like a one or one and a half review.
And he named six people that were involved in this thing
they couldn't keep afloat.
How many names do you think it'll take you
to figure it out, Sam?
Negative two.
Wow.
It was so quiet in here
that you could hear the lid of the toilet
backstage drop.
I thought something big was coming.
It's coming your way, Jeff.
Fucking negative two, he says.
Okay, he says name it. So he's got
to name the film and then
the top two build people
in the correct order.
Peggy Sue Got Married starring
Kathleen Turner and Nicolas Cage.
You know, Sam, that's
what I admire about you is you
swing for the fences.
I bet you Leonard liked that movie at least a little bit more than this one.
It's called The Boy in Blue with Nicolas Cage and Cynthia Dale.
Yeah, the great Cynthia Dale, you guys.
Rest in peace.
So that means that Jeff, in his defiance, got a point against Sam the man.
And I will stand by that every time.
No, that was a...
Because I thought it was Moonstruck, but I...
Was that actually 86?
Because that's what I was thinking, too.
What do you mean, was it actually?
Was Peggy Sue got married also 86?
You don't know that.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
I see what you're saying.
I could look it up, but do we really care that much about it?
Can't the corrections department
Deal with it on Monday?
It's the weekend
Let's have fun
The corrections department doesn't deal with incorrect guesses
They would just be flooded
I guess so
Alright now I gotta look it up I can't take it be flooded. I guess so.
Alright,
now I gotta look it up. I can't take it.
I think you're thinking of Honeymoon in Vegas.
What, that he liked it better?
No, where the Cameron things happened in 92.
The Nick Cage wedding movie in 92.
No way.
Well, I never went 92 as part of
a 6 category, but
sure.
Go with it.
The 96 was the rock.
Peggy Sue got married in 1986.
Peggy Sue got married wasn't the answer.
I don't know what you're arguing about.
I don't know if it was the right year,
because I'm a curious person.
And I was right.
He did like it better.
Two and a half stars.
So yeah, so it's, yeah.
That was a terrific
guess. Oh, and on the billing, what did you say
for the billing? I said Turner and Cage.
Yeah. Turner and Hooch. Yeah,
that's right.
Bing, bang. Well, good job.
See, that's exciting when
both players do something very
smart and only one of them gets a point for their trouble.
And that person is Jeff Tate, everybody.
It's like World Cup.
An hour into the show, someone scores a point.
I wrote that on the plane.
Yeah, because that's how the show works.
I spend about an hour before we get to this part.
And now it could happen.
It could happen right now.
Because Cameron gets to pick the category. and then we're going to go to Jeff
and then to
Sam.
Sam might get a classic box
out on his hands. No, I've already
gotten to at least make one bit.
I won't be...
It still doesn't mean it might not be a classic
box out. Sure.
Would you like, Cameron, the big C?
That's not movies that start with Cameron.
Those are movies that begin with the letter C.
In the dialogue.
I'm kidding.
I didn't.
Could you imagine doing that kind of research?
These movies begin with the letter C.
Call me Ishmael. Spoken on screen letter C. Call me Ishmael.
Yes, call me Ishmael.
Okay, so we got Moby Dick.
The big C
begins with the letter C.
Raspberry Duff suggested
The Fault in Our Cars.
And that's movies where
a car breaks down.
And at
Lou the Mailman,
L-E-W the Mailman, suggested
V for Viagra.
And that's movies that are over
three hours long.
I'm going to go with The Faults in Our Cars.
I think that's what I'm...
It was fun how the applause kind of built up to that last one.
I know.
I don't give a shit.
You went with that shitty one that nobody likes.
I like car chase movies.
It seems more natural for me.
You think I'm going to sit through a three-hour movie?
No, thank you.
People like The Fault in Our Cars.
That's a good category.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
This movie from 1987.
He calls it bittersweet.
He says about this movie that has a car breakdown in it
that the music score is awful.
The movie's just hurt by an awful music score.
And then he lists nine names.
How many names will it take you to figure out
the title of this movie, Cameron Buchholz?
I'm going to go with seven names because I don't, yeah, seven names.
Is this a smart play?
It was the year I was born.
Good way to start off.
I'm not, I'm a little.
All right, well, now this is not anti-smart play what you're doing now because you're
helping Jeff or you're trying to trick Jeff. I don't know what's going on.
But Jeff, what do you think? What are you going to do
with that? Name it.
You called it,
Benson!
I didn't mean...
I wasn't trying to... No, no, no.
I mean, I did take the middle seat
on purpose.
Because you knew I was going to
be able to bid first when I won.
Oh, yeah, yeah. You think I can't name
45 Charlize Theron movies?
I sandbagged like a
motherfucker.
Alright, sandbagger.
Here's what we're going to do.
I'm going to give you the clues
again, Cameron. And I'm going to give you the clues again Cameron
and I'm going to give you seven names
from this movie
from 1987
two and a half stars
from Leonard
bittersweet
hurt by an awful music score
it's got some sort of
car breakdown in it.
And your seven
names are Ben Stein,
Edie McClure.
Can I stop you right there?
If you want to show off, sure.
I absolutely do. It's fucking Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
That's 1986.
Is it not?
That's why you wouldn't want to stop me there.
You know what, I don't care.
Because then I'd go on to say William Wyndham, Dylan Baker, Kevin Bacon,
Michael McKeon.
Oh.
Yeah, and Layla Robbins
Oh
I hate everybody
Yeah
Start with a mirror, bro
Jesus
The answer, of course, is planes, trains, and automobiles
And, yeah
And technically, the movie is called Ferris Bueller's Day Off The answer, of course, is planes, trains, and automobiles. And, yeah.
And technically, the movie is called Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Not fucking Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Chicka-chicka.
God damn it.
I thought I had it.
Because I'm pretty positive I was named after Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Like, my parents deny it, but I'm pretty sure.
And a car breaks down in that movie, the Porsche.
Fry.
All right.
Rub it in, sir.
Or whatever.
Jeff already won, right?
He sure did.
Sam was really confident in his wrong answer earlier.
It just happens. When Cameron was in Need for Plan.
But he didn't stop you like a fucking asshole.
I was fucking all ready
with the Bueller. No!
God damn it.
Yeah, that's what I...
Ben Stein tricked you, man. Ben Stein had...
Sometimes I don't get the chance to say this to the guests,
but I just wait until I...
Let me finish talking
and then say something because
I'll probably tell you more than you thought
you were going to hear. But here's the question
Cameron if he had said all the names would you have gotten
Planes Trains?
Probably not.
Okay well then. But it doesn't matter
because he didn't have to say all the names.
Nice. Like I don't know.
Wait
Why can't I remember who Ben Stein played
you know Kevin Bacon wasn't in
the one you guessed
I would know it wasn't Ferris Bueller
but I don't think I would have known
who was playing James Bond
I mean same writer director
right or at least same writer
I don't know if he directed both of them
he did I think
I believe he wrote and directed both
it was the 86, 87
So close is what I'm goddamn saying
And I'm trying to make myself not feel like such a fucking asshole
No you got a lot closer than
I mean I believe there's literally
Two movies that Edie McClurg
And Ben Stein are in together
Let's do love like
Hate like
Hate love
Love like hate Love hate like, hate love. What? Love like hate, hate love.
Something to that effect of the films of John Hughes.
Yeah.
Curly Sue, death.
Okay, so that's your hate.
Yep.
Okay, what's your hate, Jeff?
What John Hughes movie do you hate?
Rest in peace peace by the way
This is good to start with the hate
Because we're really going to heap the praise on later
I'll probably go with
Ah shit I don't know
I don't know any of the movies that I hate
You can pass once
I don't want to use that yet
Yeah hate you hate it
Then Curly Sue.
Okay.
It's fucking Curly Sue bandwagon happening here.
What did that little girl do to you besides the adorable Pepsi commercial?
I'm more of a Coca-Cola man.
That was Haley Kate Eisenberg was the Pepsi girl.
Yeah.
And she's not Curly Sue?
No, no. That's Jesse Eisenberg's little sister. Oh Yeah And she's not Curly Sue? No, that's Jesse Eisenberg's little sister
Wait, who was Curly Sue?
It's weird that they would look like each other
Oh really?
She got out of the game?
She got out of the game
She moved to Oklahoma
Where is she? Take a bow
What's happening?
I'm supposed to name a movie that I hate
And I'm going to go out on a limb and say 16 Candles
You hate it?
Yeah, I hate it, it's annoying to me
Are you surprised that you hate it?
Long Duck Dong hasn't really held up over time
I'm just leaning into Jeff Tate's whole idea of me
But I fucking hate 16 Candles
I recently just saw Revenge of the Nerds again,
and I like that a lot better.
But I do like John Hughes movies.
So for me, hate would have to be...
Damn it, there's some tough ones.
Maybe that's why Darth Vader sounded like that.
He's just always having a hard time with decisions.
Oh, I'm going to change my answer.
I'm going to change my hate.
Blow it up. What? Can I change my hate?
Sure. Did he write
Vegas Vacation? Yes. No.
He did not write Vegas Vacation. He didn't write it?
Not even a little bit. Not even a little bit on
European Vacation? He wrote that
in the first movie. Okay, European Vacation is my one
I hate. Yeah, that movie
is awful. But that movie was one of the first movies
I ever saw boobs in.
And it was very exciting.
Because there's like the German girl at the thing
and then the strip club in Paris.
It's great if you're 11 years old
and sneaking into your parents' VHS collection.
Everybody's got a reason to love something.
Let's try love, Sam
What's your favorite John Hughes movie?
My favorite John Hughes movie?
Bar none
Favorite John Hughes
I just said it
National Lampoon's Vacation
Directed by the late, great
Harold Ramis
Okay
Jeff
What's one that you love? I'm going to say Christmas Vacation The late, great Harold Ramis. Okay. Jeff,
what's one that you love?
I'm going to say Christmas Vacation.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Boo! Boo!
That's what that guy says.
Harold Ramis has two
voice cameos in Vacation,
by the way. The next time
it comes on, you can appreciate them both.
Yeah, the moose out front should have told us.
The moose out front is, America's
favorite family fun rug is closed for two weeks.
Sorry.
That's Harold Ramis. And then also
Harold Ramis, after they get arrested
and Eddie Bracken is standing there,
and he's Roy Wally, you can hear
Harold Ramis not using a voice go,
we're all finished up here, Mr. Wally. You want us to take him
downtown and book him? That's Harold Ramis. Which, not doing a We're all finished up here, Mr. Wall. You want us to take them downtown and book them?
That's Harold Ramis.
Which, not doing a voice, and it escapes so many people.
One, two, three, five.
Meet up with Sam after the show.
He'll tell you more of this stuff.
Yep.
I'm going to have a whole sit-down.
It's like his version of close-up magic.
Cameron will start darkid right with Sam.
Just have an innocent conversation
about a film or a filmmaker
and then watch out for the facts.
All the directors who do their own voiceover
work in their movie. Dave Mickey Evans
did it for The Sandlot.
That's right.
What happened?
You're interested in this one?
Why everybody gasp?
Dave McEvans, who wrote and directed The Sandlot
Is the voice of the older version of Thomas Greer's character
That's how I got us into the biggest pickle
Wait, where did that one come from?
I was talking about directors who do voiceover work in their own films
Oh
What? That guy's in Pick a new category I was talking about directors who do voiceover work in their own films. Oh.
What? That guy's in... Pick a new category.
Wait, the guy who directed Sandlot was on vacation?
Yes.
I'll stop paying attention.
Can we play one more round of Leonard Maltin for fun?
Yeah.
Can I say what my favorite...
I hate that I like some kind of wonderful.
For some reason, I can watch that one from beginning to end whenever it's on.
You just like sexy Leah Thompson.
She was cute in that, and Mary Stewart Masterson was that cute kind of fantasy of like,
oh, she plays the drums and fixes cars, but she's still fucking cute.
Yeah.
And What's-His-Name had like a linen jacket, the bad guy.
And yeah, it was it was it's classic yeah
i was gonna say my favorite is dutch ed o'neill no one gives a shit the only one but it's fucking
ed o'neill and then to tie it back around is the one who plays the fucking son in vegas vacation
that's right that's ethan ethan embry credited then is as Ethan Randall. And can I tell you a crazy Dutch story?
I don't like this one.
Can you tell it to us in English?
Yes, you're going to like this one.
A guy from the Sandlot did voiceover in Dutch when they were in the diner and they were like pancakes.
And the other guy was like, pancakes, please.
That was the guy who directed the Sandlot.
Yeah.
Right?
You're going to like this one.
You know Sam's is going to be better than yours, right?
So, Dutch starring
Ed O'Neill and Ethan Embry,
then credited as Ethan Randall.
He was just like 13 or 14 years old.
And he shoots this movie with Ed O'Neill.
The movie comes out. Doesn't really do well box office-wise.
Ed O'Neill
does not see the kid or hear from
him for over over almost 20 years
And then in the mid 2000s
ABC brought back
Dragnet and called it
LA Dragnet
And they hired Ed O'Neill
And Ethan Embry
To play the two leads
And day one of production
Embry shows up to say
Hey can you believe it Ed we're finally
we're back together and Ed O'Neill is like
I don't know who you are
who's Ethan Embry
I worked with Ethan Randall 20 years ago
he's like it's me I'm all grown up now
and Ed O'Neill is like how about that
well let's shoot this show now
not awkward at all
pancakes please that? Well, let's shoot this show now. Not awkward at all. Pancakes, please.
Sam gets to pick
a category.
Celebrating a birthday today
on Doug Benson Day is
the great John Cusack.
John Q!
He's off somewhere
being miserable about something.
And...
As is his one.
Another category
is the El Duderino category,
which is seven words or more
in the title.
Okay.
Because it's, you know,
if you're not into
the whole brevity thing.
And then,
hold on to your potatoes!
And that, of course, is
film set in Ireland.
Well, I gave you shit for
that the last time it came up,
so let's go with that. Oh, you like the Ireland thing?
Yeah, let's get one. Let's do Ireland.
Oh, we gotta wait till next year for Cusack. God damn it.
It's coming to you next, Jeff. He's just got too big a body of work
Jeff's next and then Cameron
Three and a half stars from Leonard for this movie
From 1975
Perfect
Yeah, he says about this movie
That it is exquisite
And he also says that it is
deliberately paced
but never boring.
And he lists,
which is what I aspire to be,
he lists
seven, nine, eleven,
twelve names, it looks like.
Whopping 12 names.
Yeah, 12.
Yeah, I will take all 12.
Take them all, Sam.
Take them.
11.
Name that movie.
Oh, Cameron.
Very strategic in this round
that doesn't really matter.
Yeah.
You lost already.
Pass me that name tag so I can get the shithead off the back, Cameron.
And same with, I don't need yours, Jeff, because you won.
This is Sam's.
Oh, okay, that's Sam's.
Nice.
Oh, you even took the thing off for me.
Thank you.
Here we go Okay
Could have taken longer probably
I saw both of the shitheads
And I'm going to say preemptively
I really, really love the theme
Oh, okay
So they're both tied together in a great way
That no one listening to the podcast is going to care about
But you people in this room
Fucking fully on board
You guys in the future
just write, not only don't
read the shithead, but don't go off about
what the shithead said.
I've already lost. I don't
give a shit now.
Here's the names
that you get. How many does he get?
11? 11 of 12.
11 of 12. Okay, well,
this is a big waste of time.
Here we go.
Michael Hordron.
Marie Keane.
Leonard Rositer.
Andre Morel.
Frank Middlemass.
Murray Melvin.
Guy Hamilton. Stephen Berkoff
Hardy Kruger
Patrick McGee
Patrick McGee
and Marissa Berenson
only one name remains in this movie
that Leonard gave three and a half stars
because it's exquisite
and it is deliberately paced but never boring.
While you're thinking on it, Patrick McGee played, he's credited as conspirator, I think.
Oh, no, he's not conspirator.
That's John Savant.
He's in A Clockwork Orange.
He's the guy who poisons Malcolm McDowell because he raped his wife.
Spoiler alert?
Was there a gasp?
1971. I think we're in the clear patrick mcgee has the most made-up irish name of all time oh i'm patrick mcgee look at me i'm fucking irish over here
is the movie called 1975 uh-huh oh i going to need another minute.
Is it called
Leap Year?
It'd be amazing.
It'd be so amazing
if Jeff Tate said out loud
right then
the name.
Who's the first build?
That's how you're going to show off on this one.
No.
You already won.
Naming it when I give you one more name.
You lost, but you won in the hearts of everybody.
I just like playing the game.
So does the audience.
You're right.
Jeff won, and now he's...
All right.
The top build person is Ryan O'Neill.
And the movie is called...
Barry Lyndon.
Barry Lyndon.
Yeah, Barry Lyndon.
Yeah, that's a tough one.
That's a real tough one.
Also a Kubrick.
Both Kubricks.
That's why Patrick Yee's in both.
Yeah, well, we've finally got rid of that
hold on to your potatoes category.
And I thank you very much for that.
Those potatoes are rotten.
I really wanted it to be Far and Away,
which obviously was not 75,
but I'm pretty sure that takes place
in both Ireland and Oklahoma.
Okay.
Right? Doesn't it?
Yeah. No.
Land run and shit.
Let's run that by...
Cusack would have been a fun category.
We all heard it, right? We heard what he said.
So we can leave it at that.
But do you got any plugs, Cameron? it right. We heard what he said. So we can leave it at that. But
do you got any plugs, Cameron?
This very week
I'll be at the Ludeman Comedy Club right here
in Oklahoma City.
July 3rd through the 7th or something.
And then July 26th I will be at the
Gathering of the Juggalos.
Not joking.
And that's somewhere in the middle of nowhere
outside of Columbus, Ohio.
Is Mrs. Potato Dick
performing again this year?
If she's wearing clown makeup, absolutely
she is.
Jeff, what do you
got coming up, buddy?
Jeff Tate.
I'm going to be July 10-13
Cincinnati. Are you going to be July 10-13 Cincinnati
Are you going to be in Columbus, Ohio at all?
No
Then what the fuck did you just yell out Columbus for
Guy in the crowd
The guy is just being wishful hopeful
Just yelling out cities
It's not even
I know we're all bummed he won't be in Columbus
Guys
They have a table I don't
Our drinks are filled with water That's what I call all bummed he won't be in Columbus, guys. They have a table I don't. Yeah, we're also, we're just, our drinks
are filled with water.
That's what I call a
party fuck-up.
Hey, I got more plugs. I got more
plugs. July 3. WT
fuck, man.
July 3, 4, and 5, I'm at
Winston-Salem, North Carolina at the Laughin'
Gas. Is the name of that club?
That can't be true. I didn't name it.
It's got a dumb name. Find out the real name you guys
on the internet and then go to that place.
So come see me in Cincinnati or Winston Salem.
My album comes out July 8th.
Just Another Clown.
And I got a podcast now where
I talk about cheers.
It's called Afternoon Everybody.
The second episode. Hi.
The second episode will be up Monday.
She's passed out at this point.
Not responding anymore.
Sam, where can people see you do your thing?
Five minutes after this show's out,
I'm going to be hosting a second show in the back
where I talk about directors doing weird stuff in movies
that nobody asks questions about.
And also, you can see me every Sunday on KevinPollock'sChatShow.com.
We're on Hulu, Earwolf, iTunes, YouTube.
I don't know.
All that stuff.
So many devices you can't even keep track of which ones you're on.
There's way too many.
Los Angeles, Getting Doug with High, live at Largo.
Once again, July 14th.
It's going to be an amazing lineup
of people getting high
for your viewing pleasure.
Thank you for the first
time. I think we got through this pretty
awesomely. Oklahoma City.
Yeah, Oklahoma City.
Let's do it again next year.
Sunday, June 28th, Doug Benson Day.
2015 Wolf
of Wall Street Fight Terminator.
Steve Judgment Day.
Dot, dot, dot.
And thank you to all of my
guests. Sam Levine,
Jeff Tate, Cameron
Bogholtz.
As, and we'll see you guys
at the next show.
I'm going to try to get all these guys to do a little
stand-up for you in the next show.
It'll be a lot of fun.
But as always,
oh yeah, get that guy his prizes.
Good call.
He's still got the mask
on, too.
That guy's super committed.
Wow, okay, these do have a theme.
Cameron was right.
Mary Fallon is a shithead.
Yeah!
Christina Fallon's headdress is a shit now it's time for Doug to watch a movie
there's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies There's no room in his heart for you Cause the, the movies