Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine, Josh Brown and Ken Reid guest
Episode Date: June 18, 2017Live from Laugh Boston, Doug welcomes Samm Levine, Josh Brown and Ken Reid to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/pri...vacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everybody, Producer Ryan here.
The audio on this episode's a little blown out at the top,
but it gets better about seven minutes in,
so stick with it and enjoy the show.
Doug hates candy wrappers,
screaming baby sticky seeds
with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see,
but Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is I Love Movies! Wow! All the ships have arrived. We're coming to you for the first time ever from Laugh Boston.
I'm nestled in the lobby of a beautiful hotel in a beautiful area that sprung up out of concrete and steel.
And I'm glad you guys are here because it really is Tall Ships Day today.
And that's what everybody uses as an excuse for why it's
hard to get around on land. It's Tall Ships Day. Yeah, they're out of the water, all those ships.
What does that have to do with this traffic? I don't know why they don't just go, it's Boston, that's why
there's traffic, right? It's Saturday, June 17th, 2017.
Thank you for
verifying that.
No, shut the fuck up.
Boston never lets me down
when it comes to name tags. How'd you guys
do today?
I saw you now up front. Oh lord, that Alien vs. Predator vs. Justin.
So stand up and show everybody that one, that's pretty good.
Into what Jones?
Into Bama Jones.
Into Bama Jones. Your name's In Deb-ama Jones. In Deb-ama Jones.
Your name's not Deb-ama, though.
It's Deb-ian.
Deb-ian.
Holy shit.
Should really think before I start.
I've seen Pat on a hot tin roof before, right?
Yep.
All right, cool.
Transporter 2, Judgment J.
That was a real easy switch.
You just dark out a lot of the D.
I like it.
The Mark of Zorro, that's me and you?
Amy Adams.
That's me and Amy Adams, good one.
Put that the fuck down.
it was good work.
Put that the fuck down.
You guys love it too much when I'm meeting the people
in the audience.
Yeah, you shouldn't enjoy it so much.
Douglas Benson, Fallon Down?
Your last name is Fallon?
It is.
Just like Jimmy?
Yes.
Have you ever met him?
No.
I bet you he'd be nice to you.
You guys have the same last name.
Anyway, lots of great name tags.
Good job, everybody.
Thank you for doing that.
Thank you to Laugh Boston for not wondering why people are doing that.
Did anybody bring any donuts in?
Alright, settle down.
Settle down.
Because I got bad news for you guys.
It feels like a conspiracy against
Douglas Movies, but I assure you it is not.
The comedy club here has a sign
backstage
that says you can't throw anything
from the stage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did someone just suggest that I just have to walk off the stage?
All right I'll keep that in mind. There's always a goddamn loophole. But there was another rule
that something else we're not supposed to do.
Oh, we're not allowed to bring anyone
from the audience up on stage,
but that wasn't going to happen today anyway.
It's still interesting to keep these rules in mind.
Doug plugs.
Doug Loves Movies is back here tomorrow
at 4.20, different guests,
unless my guests today refuse to leave.
But that one's going to fuck up the shows
that are here later tonight.
Monday night, June 19th
I'm doing stand-up at the Comedy Connection
in Providence, Rhode Island.
Next weekend, Douglas Rooney returns
for two shows to Helium in Philly.
It, of course, will be a gas
and is a gas.
Monday, June 26th 26 we're back at
the Gramercy Theatre in New York City and that'll be a gas too actually and
when I write these things down I try to make the plugs fun and funny but then
once I'm reading them I just try to get the fuck over with.
But who's coming back tomorrow? Do we have any two dinners?
Good for you. Those of you that are not coming back, what's the reason? I mean,
I'll accept any reason. Work, yeah, that's a good one.
But dad, though, really? You can't...
Just in case the listeners didn't hear that,
and I guess half the crowd didn't hear it,
she yelled out the reason she's not coming to Mars is because of tall ships.
Wasn't that fun?
Was that your first professional laugh?
You got two of them, the first time in the repeat. You might
be good at this. You just sitting there alone over there? Okay. Oh shit no you're
not alone. I will not say any more to the girlfriend of the eyes. Oh shit. God damn it.
The eyes. I wanted to say a house by the way. The hills have eyes, that's it.
Stupid, big, bald guy joke.
Alright.
I don't know how big you are.
I know how bald you are, but I can't...
From this far away, I can't tell how big you are.
For all my dates and deets,
go to DougLovesMovies.com
That's DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com!
Yeah!
Oh, no.
I hope the listeners didn't hear that.
Although that may be a fun twist
to start getting the entire audience to yell,
yeah, at the end of it.
Suddenly everyone's so much more
enthusiastic for Douglovesmovies.com
Yeah!
TJ Miller, yeah!
Alright, I brought a prize
bag. You can see it's a lovely one.
It is
a hotel laundry bag.
Yeah, it might even have
some laundry smell in it.
But it's also got...
Did I stay here at the Westin?
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, so the stalking is on.
Good luck.
Because I really covered my tracks.
Here's what's in the prize bag today.
Of course, actually I'm on a run of a lot of shows right now over the next couple weeks.
And this is currently the last Doug Loves Movies shirt that I have in my possession.
I'm going to get more,
but I don't know why I'm telling you guys this.
Oh, I got such a special shirt.
No one else is getting a shirt
for maybe a week or two.
I've got a koozie
that says Brooklyn Summer Ale on it.
Okay, one person
is a fan of Brooklyn Summer Ale.
Which of those three words were you wooing,
or just the whole brand?
The whole brand.
You like that beer?
Sure.
Oh, no, okay.
Now she's backpedaling.
How do you feel about D. Lush's cookies?
Because there's a good, totally broken up one in the bag.
It didn't do well in my checked baggage.
Also, from, have you guys tried
Nature Box? I think I did an ad for them.
And they sent me a bunch of stuff
including sweet and simple berry
nut mix. And that sounded
like something I wouldn't like, so you guys...
But I think some people would, right?
Sounds alright. We got a copy
of my CD.
Oh, this is exciting.
I was out at the Provincetown Film Festival.
International Film Festival.
Yeah. PIF.
Which is pretty appropriate, I think.
And they gave me a bag full of stuff, you know,
for going to the festival.
I think Laugh Boston has a ghost.
What was this hotel built over?
Indian Burial Ground?
If you're in Provincetown ever,
you might go out there, right?
You might take the ferry like I did.
You can get $1 off
a Rollwich or a salad
at Box Lunch of Provincetown.
3-5-5 Commercial Street.
Not to be confused with Boston's
Commercial Street, or is that just a really
long street?
That'd be crazy.
Oh, and a little piece of
pipe, a little peacemaker pipe
with the spirit of Christmas
for you.
Plus, all the stuff brought by my
guests, please give a big warm welcome
to them as I bring them to the
stage right now.
Hopefully they're somewhere near
the stage.
I don't see them anywhere over there, but
maybe they're just waiting to hear their names
before they start heading out.
Please give a big warm welcome to
Josh Brown. Ken,
settle down. I thought, so you guys are all Josh Brown fans over there?
You're like in the worst seats to see
Josh Brown.
At least you know what he looks like.
But yeah, I've never
had people get that hot on the
first of three names.
I couldn't even
get out the other names.
It's Ken Reed and Sam Levine!
Wow! Oh boy, good to see you guys.
Thank you.
This chair is, not that I don't want to be this close to you,
but it's unusually close.
Can I move closer?
Yeah, I might just...
Come on over.
Yeah, get over there.
Do you want me to move this way?
Yeah.
Can you sit with them?
Oh, no, wait.
I moved at the beginning because there's a couple of pillars in the audience.
I wanted to make sure everyone
could see me.
That's why we're a little tight here in the middle.
It'll be fine.
You'll be okay.
Let's meet them individually,
starting with the fan club guy.
Hello!
The person with the most people here
to see him specifically.
It's Josh Brown, everybody!
Finally here.
Finally here with my own accord at this point.
Finally here just as a legit guest
with not a very hot mic.
Hello?
Hello, let's get him some...
I don't think of your own accord
as the correct phrase.
Because that implies you were against your will here.
Yeah, you were under duress
the last few times you were here.
Well, I either was or I wasn't.
It's pretty fascinating
how you got a microphone
that doesn't work.
Yeah.
Well, the people have heard of them before.
Is there an on-off switch on that one?
You gotta rub it.
Rub it.
That'll warm it up.
It's on, it's just the volume.
How do you like him now?
Now that he's stroking
his microphone off.
He doesn't know.
He doesn't do this.
But maybe we can fly in.
I think there's a cordless around if that one doesn't come to life.
But say something else.
Hello?
Anybody?
No.
Here, borrow somebody else's for a second so I can chat with you about.
It might be his voice.
About being here.
Sorry.
I want to check and see.
Microphones do not like my voice.
Is this one working all right. That's working alright.
Yeah, but you do need to
speak up in general. Just in general?
Yeah, like right now you're still
sounding like you're not on a hot mic. Sorry.
Now better? Yeah. Alright.
Good. I'll keep it a lot closer.
That was just Doug's Mr. Miyagi.
You've like taught him a life lesson here.
Speak up. Speak up.
Speak up in general.
It is a life lesson.
How are things at Metropolitan Pipe?
Everything's great.
Everything's great.
Happy to, you know, be here.
I got some more stuff to give away, so.
Oh, we'll get to that.
Oh, I can't wait.
Yeah.
But for now, you're going to be silenced again. That's
alright. Yeah. Sam?
I'm
silencing you apparently.
Wait, so it's
Met Pipe that you? Met Pipe, yeah.
Met Pipe. Wow.
Does it work now? Is it working now?
I think so. Do I have to put it in
my mouth? Can you? Oh think so. Do I have to put it in my mouth?
Can you?
Oh.
Yeah, sometimes you got to really get on top of it.
And that's why I always bring some wipes before using a microphone.
I wipe it down.
Yeah.
I should have wiped this down.
And then when I'm done. I've been here before.
You should have.
When I'm done at the end, I lick it and I walk away.
Again, life lesson. You know,. When I'm done at the end, when I'm done at the end, I lick it and I walk away. All right.
Again, life lesson.
You know, I'll give him out all day long.
I don't give a shit.
Ken Reed is here, everybody.
Thank you.
That is unexpected.
Boston comedy phenom.
Thank you.
Regular guest on this show.
Oh, we swapped out the mics anyway for Josh?
Yeah, we got a new one now.
Oh, nice.
Okay.
I feel better about that.
He's spiraling so he can go into the crowd.
Well, as long as they don't go into him.
What?
That's right.
Ken is the Boston Comedy Phenom
and host of TV Guidance Counselor podcast,
which I appeared on the last time I came through town.
Yes, thank you. You're welcome.
Thank you for doing this. Very popular
podcast.
I love a hometown crowd.
Oh boy.
I have trouble saying quid pro quo.
Yes. But I just did.
So... Future in politics.
I have a future in bashing myself in the face with a microphone.
I even have a mic stand.
It's terrible.
All right, you guys.
I know you're excited to applaud for him one more time because Sam the Ma'am Levine.
Come on, Boston.
Thank you.
You're very kind to me.
This is much too sweet.
I feel like, Doug, I feel like
somebody told this crowd that the last time I was at Fenway
someone threw a battery at me.
And they all feel so bad.
They were like, don't.
That's not Boston.
That's just some drunk guy.
We'll be nice.
So thank you.
That's very sweet of you.
Team Sam.
Now, I didn't say Lil' Wolverine.
You didn't?
Because I want to run something by you.
All right.
What do you got?
Can I start calling you Lil' Logan? I've got something by you. All right, Tuck. What do you got?
Can I start calling you Lil' Logan?
She's not Lil' Wolverine.
She's Lil' whatever she is.
What's her name?
Laura.
Sure.
Look, you can call me whatever you'd like,
but I feel like the Lil' Wolverine moniker is kind of stuck.
What about Weekend Wolverine?
Oh, yes, you know I'm not afraid to add another A-K-A.
That's true.
That's true.
Doug, you know what's... I'll say all of your aliases every time.
You've given me many nicknames,
so I leave it up to you, sir.
Oh, thank you very much.
Thank you very much, little Logan.
There it is.
Did you see the Logan picture?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you meant the airport,
because we're in Boston.
I did.
You look just like it.
Just like it.
There's a lot of ladies here
who'd like to sit on your tarmac.
That's right.
Oh, the food court in Terminal 3
is delicious.
I did see Logan, finally.
How'd that work out for you?
It was great, man.
It's probably my favorite movie
that Wolverine is in
because it is a hard R.
Yeah, they go for it.
That is a Marvel movie for adults. Yeah, they go for it. That is a Marvel movie for adults.
Yeah, Deadpool taught them well.
But I think it was kind of already in the works before Deadpool,
but it certainly helped them to, it emboldened them.
Yes, it did.
To be that violent and that dirty.
This might be a scoop, but everyone might know this already,
but they're filming the New Mutants movie in Boston.
What?
What?
Mutants? Yeah, what's it, do you know what it's called? It're filming the New Mutants movie in Boston. What? What? Mutants?
Yeah, what's it, do you know what it's called?
It's called the New Mutants.
I'm not even kidding, like that's the comic called the New Mutants.
Oh. It's an X-Men spin-off. The New Mutants movie.
Not the New Mutants movie.
Well, also that, but.
No, they're filming it here.
Oh, okay.
I'm sorry that it's gone this far
without me asking you guys
if you want anything to drink.
I've got a cocktail.
Would you like anything?
I'm good.
All right, here.
I'll take a Bud Light if anything.
Okay, Josh is going crazy
with a Bud Light if you don't mind.
I don't want to go too hard.
Dear Laugh Boston,
please bring Josh your finest beer.
The Bud Light.
The Bud Light.
How would you like that?
Would you like that in a champagne flute?
with a slice of lime?
no we'd have to come with a slice of lime
if I could just get a Bud Light Lime
I'd be happy
they make that?
it's like a very summer beer
oh is that the Limerita?
like people who drink Bud Light care that it's summer
sorry a limerita? Like people who bring Bud Light care that it's summer. Sorry.
I need a light beer
for summer.
The sun weighs me down.
We only get two months
of it so we take
whatever we need.
And they're not even
consecutive.
No, they're not.
Yeah, it's real spotty.
You got a spotty summer.
Like today was foggy as shit for the ship sales.
Because of the stupid tall ships.
They bring the fog with them.
Look at that.
That service.
Presented to you like a sword.
Yeah, that was really...
For the listener at home,
they wheeled a rock out on stage
with a Bud Light stuck in it.
And he actually removed it from the stone.
Bud Light does not deserve this.
And now he's the king of beers.
I'm ashamed of that one.
Ashamed of that one.
Boston phenom,
Ken Reed.
You guys thought I was joking around, but I meant it.
Now, there's a question I like to ask all of my guests.
There's several questions, but let's start with,
because Josh was anxious to get into it.
What do you got for the prize bag, fellas?
Who wants to go first, Josh?
Oh, well, you said my name first, so I'll go for it.
So I try and bring relatively different
things each time, mostly about Met Pipe.
So we had a golf tournament
this year, so I've got Met Pipe hats.
We have a golf logo, so these are nice.
Two of the
same hats, so a couple can walk out of here
proud? Yeah, yeah.
A couple of pipe fitters. Yeah, exactly.
I was planning on throwing one out, but I was told
I'm not allowed to do that.
Like in the garbage?
No, no, no.
Like out into the crowd.
You saw the sign.
And it opened up my eyes.
I saw the sign.
If we can get an All That She Wants reference into this show, we're going to be the number one Ace of Base podcast in the world.
she wants reference into this show.
We're going to be the number one Asa-based podcast in the world.
They were like an
ABBA for the 90s.
I've also got a tape measure
from Metropolitan Pipe.
How many feet, bro?
I can't do the whole thing now.
I'm going to say 26.
Hey, Ken, are you trying to tell me
that you've never heard of DLMM?
Doug loves...
Doug loves Mamma Mia?
Oh, no, yeah.
But I don't do the Patreon,
so I can't listen to the episodes.
It really is only for my special fans.
Yeah.
I've got some more. I've got some more.
I've got some koozies that are nice.
You can put that on a Bud Light.
I could put that on a Bud Light.
Show us how it works.
Demonstrate. Demonstrate the koozie.
Koozie in action. There you go.
That's nice.
Like a glove.
Hey, this is a family placement.
We no longer have a koozie to give away, so that's fine.
No, now it's stage worn, and it's worth more.
I'll sign it if we have to.
Let's see.
Koozie's what we call them these days, but it's just an old-fashioned fleshlight.
Thank you.
I want you to hold the beer.
I appreciate that.
All right.
I'm touching your koozie.
I've also got some t-shirts that are just regular t-shirts.
Don't bring a koozie around Donald Trump.
He will fucking grab the shit out of it
Who needs a beer? I want to keep this cold
Donald Trump's penis is definitely lower than body temperature
Like if you did a Terminator
I mean a Predator heat map on that man
It would just be an ice cold spot
Right in his crotch.
Just a theory.
And so I've got one last one here that it's sponsored by one of my vendors.
There's a company called Kohler.
You've probably seen their commercials.
I've peed in their toilets.
Yeah, you've pissed on them before.
This is a box of chocolates
that has each finish of their faucets
as the chocolate.
No idea why they made it.
So if you want a brushed nickel piece of chocolate,
please eat away.
Just some advice for Kohler.
If you make toilets, don't produce chocolates.
Like, that is just basic marketing.
That's all I got.
That's all.
Sorry.
You moved so far away,
I couldn't get you.
Wow.
Exciting, right?
Thank you, Josh.
Is it in a Shaw's bag?
Of course it is.
Oh, they got Polar
seltzer on sale right now.
Four for five bucks. You're for five bucks I like Shaw's little tagline
You're in for something fresh
Well they flirt with you when you check out
Do you like to have fresh things in you?
Yeah
Bend over for some fresh
When you walk out, they just slap you.
Yell something about being a taste maca.
All right.
Ken, what do you got?
Because it's another bag full of garbage.
The bag full of garbage.
I have Blade Runner on beta.
Not a bit.
It is Blade Runner on beta.
I have a framed photo of Emanuel Lewis fishing
on a boat.
You can put it back into the same bag.
I have a collection of 80s titty movies
including Wild Malibu Weekend and Seduction of a Nerd with music by Quincy Jones.
I have a Region 2 DVD copy of Thief that you can't play unless you have a special DVD player.
Michael Mann's finest.
Yep.
I have a TV guide from this week in June from 1999 with Sable on the cover.
Here you are.
I have a set of lobby cards from The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
I have a set of Spanish lobby cards from David Cronenberg's Crash in Spanish.
That's the only crash I'll recognize.
Yes.
I got a Ken Reed TV Guidance Counselor work shirt
and a CD of my comedy and a pin.
And then my favorite thing that I brought
that will probably not be...
Oh, thank you, sir.
Everybody's favorite is I brought an inflatable version
of an international movie star.
Here he is.
This is an inflatable
Ronald Reagan, everybody.
It's an inflatable
Ronald Reagan.
What the hell?
He's down. Man down.
Wow. People really do win
At Douglas Rive
They do
They do
So
He deflates
If you have to take him home
He's staring right at you
It's like
Kind of a child's punching bag
Yeah
But with Ronald Reagan's face on it.
That's right.
A shockingly accurate Ronald Reagan, I should say.
Can you imagine how upset Twitter would be
if something like that happened to a current president?
I know.
I love you in point break.
It does.
It looks like someone wearing a Ronald Reagan mask.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Someone can take that home.
Someone has to take that home.
Maybe.
My wife said I can't come home.
If little
Logan gets upset
during the games today,
he can take it out on Ronald Reagan.
With pleasure.
Yeah.
Let's give Ronald Reagan a kick.
This Blade Runner beta, I wanted to look at it
because there's a picture from the movie on the back
where I'm this close to being, I'm just out of frame
when this picture was taken.
But there's black and white versions of the picture
where you can see me.
But anyway, all of those things are amazing.
I'm sorry you had to follow that, Sam.
Yeah, me too.
This is really going to not be impressive
compared to Ronald Reagan.
So you're telling us you didn't bring any toilet chocolate?
I did not bring toilet chocolate.
Do you want to go make some?
But I did.
Make a toilet chocolate for Mommy?
Let's see I'll bet everybody here likes
Decaffeinated coffee bean and tea leaf
Single packets
Two of those
Wait a second, that's just from your hotel room
That's exactly correct, Doug
I didn't want to show up with just the other things
Oh, okay
No, I brought real things
As I may or may not
have revealed on a previous episode,
for some insane reason, I was
the recipient of a whole lot
of For Your Consideration
television programs, and so
I have entire seasons
of Transparent,
Bosch,
and Red Oaks.
Three Amazon shows that are all really good,
and you don't even have to have an Amazon Prime subscription.
Boom, here's three seasons right there for you.
Plus the coffee,
which is decaf, so it won't really help you binge.
Pass them down.
Great job, you guys.
A lot of great stuff that I'm going to keep.
I'm leaving with that Ronald Reagan thing.
You can, yeah.
I mean, he'll fit in a carry-on.
Once you deflate it or whatever.
I feel like it's important to get a picture of it.
Yeah.
You want me to hold him up?
He is an elderly person,
so he's got some difficulties.
There we go.
Let me just get a quick...
Just hold it like that.
Yeah, that's perfect.
Like a golf ball.
This is how they held Ronald Reagan up
when he made speeches.
They'd mad it out, but he was very old.
All right, here we go.
Let me just get a good picture of this.
Take one for the Gipper.
Oh!
Face down in the ghetto, Ronnie!
Look at the video of it.
Oh, that's going on my social media.
All right.
Thank you for bringing all that stuff, though.
And that is going to be a fun thing for somebody to own.
How can you give it up, Ken?
Well, my home is very strange and unusual.
Yeah?
Yeah.
And, you know, I have so many things of that caliber.
Oh, you're using them like a koozie.
And I think this is illegal, so I'm not saying you should do this,
but if you put him in the passenger seat,
you probably can go in the carpool lane,
and no one's going to pull you over and be like,
is that Ronald Reagan?
Because they'll feel crazy.
Need to see your license and registration?
Well.
Doug, you know I hate four guests.
Doug, you know I hate four guests.
Oh, shit.
Okay, so that's all the stuff.
Oh, and you brought in a lovely Marshall's Halloween bag.
That's right.
We should point that out as well.
There's one thing I have.
It's a lot of Marshall's Halloween bags.
And I am not kidding. I think, yeah.
I think that bag's so big I can consolidate a little bit.
I was thinking that.
In case the winner has to fly home.
It can only take so much
carry on.
The other question, one of the other questions
I need to ask you guys is
I'll start with you, Sam.
What was the last movie you saw?
I know I'm way behind on this, but I finally saw Get Out.
Alright.
Yes.
All that applause is justified.
It was a great movie.
I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don't know if it's justified.
It's kind of interesting that someone could get applause
for having seen a film. Well, I don't think they were
applauding me for having seen it. I think they were applauding their
appreciation for the movie. They're excited that we all love
that movie and that
you finally got around to it.
Had it been kind of ruined for you?
Was it a little less exciting?
No, I had avoided, I had managed to avoid all spoilers
right up until I saw it on VOD.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's your way of saying you don't have any black friends.
I think that was implied.
No, I have a...
I'm just kidding.
Like, they would blurt out everything that happened
just to spoil it for Whitey.
Right.
That's right.
That's exactly how it went down.
All right.
What'd you see there, Josh?
Last night I saw the movie Band-Aid
by Zoe Lister-Jones,
written, directed, and produced, created, her and Adam Pally.
It was a really good movie.
Sounds great.
Yeah, it was a lot of fun.
None of those names meant anything to me.
I was like, about do they know it's Christmas?
Is it a movie?
No, no, I mean, Susie Essman was in it, too.
Still nothing, Ken?
I've heard of her.
Okay.
I mean, you know what was funny?
There was a lot of good TV people in this movie.
You know, people from New Girl, people from, there's a new show that Zola Lister Jones is in, Life in Business.
Where'd you see it?
Coolidge Corner Theater.
Oh, okay.
So it's in limited theater.
Yeah, but you can also now get it VOD on IFC Films.
Oh, okay.
What's it called again?
Band-Aid.
Band-Aid.
Fred Armisen is in it, too.
I've definitely seen the words Band-Aid, and I just never looked further.
Yeah, it's really good.
It sounded like something I wouldn't want to see.
Hopefully no one's like, is this Band-Aid the movie?
Like Emoji the movie?
Right.
That's what it's all about.
Every goddamn product's going to have a movie.
Oh, I can't wait to see the Kleenex movie.
It's going to be so good.
It's going to be a tearjerker.
Yeah.
I heard...
There will be jerking going on.
I heard you shouldn't put the Q-tip movie too far into your ear.
No, you've got to wear earplugs if you're going to the Q-tip movie.
And then all the rap fans will go, and they'll be like, what is this shit?
This is not Get Out.
What was the last movie you saw, Ken?
I saw a documentary called Future Shock that was about the rise and fall of 2000 AD magazine,
which was a British comic magazine
where Judge Dredd came out and that kind of stuff.
It was really interesting.
It just came out.
It's very good.
Documentary that you saw where?
I saw it on demand.
That's where you just stand in your home and scream for it?
Yep.
I said, show me Future Shock!
And then it happened.
Then it just happened.
Talk about Future Shock.
I know.
And I finally saw Rogue One.
Rogue One.
I sleep a lot.
So you're a Star Wars, like, when you get around to a guy.
You're not that excited about it.
Yeah, I don't really like Star Wars very much.
But I love Donnie Yen, who's from Boston.
He is?
Yeah, he grew up in Chinatown.
Yeah.
All right.
His mother still lives here.
He sometimes is on the train.
But he's great in it, so I watched it for the Donnie Yen.
Okay.
No one else has probably done that.
It's fine.
Maybe not.
It's not my thing.
I saw a movie last night at Piff.
I saw the new Sofia Coppola movie The Beguiled
and it's the kind of movie where I
encourage people to see it
even though I didn't love it
because I don't think it's for me
who is it for?
let me just give you a
well I'll describe it then you can say whether or not you think it's for you
it's like if there was a season
of The Bachelor that took place during the
Civil War.
Oh, okay.
Okay. So if that
sounds appealing to you, then go and have
fun.
And if you're like, what? Then
maybe you might not be into it.
Steampunk Bachelor?
It's just a dude and a bunch of women
in a house in the Civil War and that's all we will say
but it just reminded me of of reality tv and how the bitches will turn on each other oh yes
if you give them the chance um all right my final question before we get into the games portion
is starting with Sam again
or actually on this one raise your hand when you
think you have an answer because I might be
springing this one on you guys. Okay.
If you haven't heard of the show lately I'm obsessed
with finding movies that are great
that I have not seen
and you have to guess
the name of a movie and I'll tell you whether
I saw it or not if I haven't it goes on my list
the list right now it's just one movie.
Predestination.
I have seen Predestination.
Is it good?
If you like time travel,
you will kind of enjoy it.
See, that's what I mean.
It's like, I'm getting mixed reviews,
but the people who love it really love it.
And then other people are like,
it's okay, or that movie sucks.
So I'm like, not going to pull the trigger yet, because I'll have to purchase it somewhere.
Yeah, you'll enjoy it, but you're not going to love it.
I already know that about you.
You're not going to love this movie.
I don't like when people know stuff about me.
That was the tagline for the movie, were they?
You'll enjoy it, but...
I will enjoy it more just because you said that. Okay. Just'll enjoy it but I will enjoy it more
just because you said that
okay
just to spite you
I will love it
then by all means
no I
I think you're probably right
so does anybody have
a good one to pitch
I have a good one
that you have not seen
okay
and
it is called
Deterrence
Deterrence is a movie
that was made
in the late 90s
written and directed by a guy named Rod Lurie
who followed it up with the movie The Contender
that I did see
which I'm sure you did see
and it's a very good movie
and this one is also political in nature
and it's a lot of talking
but it's a lot of good talking
and it's a movie where
the president of the United States is on the road
he's touring America
and he gets stuck in a really bad snowstorm
in the middle of Montana.
And he's in some little restaurant there,
some hole-in-the-wall restaurant.
And while he's stuck there in this blizzard,
basically a nuclear war starts to happen.
And he has to open the football
and decide whether or not to
launch nuclear missiles and attack another thing and then all the locals who are in this restaurant
are like trying to get in his face and stop him and some want him to do it and the president in
this movie is played by kevin pollack that's right sir is Is it Kevin Pollack doing a Reagan impression? No, it is Kevin Pollack in my favorite role that he's ever done in this movie, Deterrence.
Now we know why you're so biased on behalf of this movie.
I liked that movie before I met him.
It's the first thing I said to him when I met him.
It is.
I love deterrence.
And he's like, what?
You love detergents?
What are you saying?
You don't smell like it.
Please, could you stand up and speak to me?
Yeah.
When they met, I'm sure Sam was a child.
When did you first meet Kevin?
Is that how you talk to little Logan?
Logan.
I met Pollock when I was 18.
See, I told you.
2000.
I'm not much taller now.
You're 18 playing 15.
I wish I had a considerable growth spurt
between 18 and present.
Can't say that I did.
Still time.
Might happen.
There's still time.
What about you guys?
Josh or Ken?
Do you have a movie you think I haven't seen that I should put on the list? Deterrence is now number one, It might happen. There's still time. What about you guys, Josh or Ken?
Do you have a movie you think I haven't seen that I should put on the list?
Deterrence is now number one, and then Predestination.
Okay, I've got a movie.
I don't know if you'll love it,
but I think more people would love it if they watch it.
It was from the mid-'90s.
It was called Suburbia with Giovanni Ribisi.
Yeah, Richard Linklater.
Yeah, I saw that.
You saw that, okay.
Nobody ever talks about that movie,
and I really enjoyed it. Nice coming of age deal. Isn't it mostly like in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven? Prettyater. Yeah, I saw that. You saw that, okay. Nobody ever talks about that movie, and I really enjoyed it. Nice
coming-of-age tale. Isn't it mostly like in the parking lot of a
7-Eleven? Pretty much, yeah, yeah, right. But like
for people that live in the suburbs, like
a good coming-of-age tale of
hating your life, and then somebody
dying.
No spoilers, again, mid-90s.
Yeah, it was a long
time ago, and no one's going to seek
it out because of your recommendation. Yeah, it was a long time ago and no one's going to seek it out because of your recommendation.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't think you really sold it.
I mean, I think I heard it when I said,
is that that movie that takes place
in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven?
Yeah, that probably describes it pretty well.
That already does not sound cinematic.
Also, don't lead with Giovanni Ribisi.
Parker Posey?
Is that who you're going to lead with?
That's who you're going to lead with.
Yeah, you throw Parker Posey out there
and they shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
And then they find out about Ribisi
once they start watching it
but then it's too late
yeah and you could go
either way on Ribisi
Ribisi's great sometimes
other times you're like
what the fuck is happening
Ribisi
but at least I didn't
pay for a Ribisi movie
I didn't go in there
expecting Ribisi
because I might not
go in there
no
it's like cilantro
it's's like cilantro.
It's exactly like cilantro.
I didn't know if you said Sinatra or cilantro. I thought you said Sinatra.
Well, Beastie is the Sinatra of the 21st century.
I mean, I don't know if you guys have heard his duet record,
but man alive is it good.
Have you seen a film called Roadside Prophets?
Who's in that?
It stars Ad Rock of the Beastie Boys and John Doe of X.
I'm in.
It's a very good road movie.
It has a lot of people that did a lot of movies with Alex Cox,
like Repo Man and Straight to Hell.
So Harry Dean Stanton shows up.
Harry Dean Stanton's in it.
He sings a song on the soundtrack.
Oh, wow.
And it's just a good, weird road movie about two guys who are trying to bring
their buddy's ashes across the country.
And it's Ad-Rock and
John Doe. Alright. It's a good movie.
Should be seen more. Alright. You're
not calling it great. I enjoy
it, but I have a taste.
Yeah, that's what I was saying.
I'll put it on the list somewhere.
Yeah. Maybe low.
Roadside Prophets.
It made me think of another movie people have been
shoving at me for a while now that I've got to get around
to. Green Street Hooligans.
That's a good movie.
People love it.
It's a sports movie, right?
Were you thinking of the Big Green?
The soccer movie with the red hat kid?
The same movie?
The Big Green? With the goots? The same movie? The Big Green?
With the goots?
You're thinking of the Big Green.
Nobody's thinking of the Big... Green Street Hooligans
is about gangs?
But why does somebody make it sound like
it's a sports movie?
Soccer hooligans.
Oh, there is soccer.
Millwall is a big part of it. Are they? If it's hooligans and Yeah, it's a soccer hooligan. Oh, there is soccer. Yeah, right. Like Millwall. Yeah. Millwall is a big part of it.
Are they?
I figured if it's hooligans and soccer, Millwall's involved.
Yeah, right.
I know.
That's good.
Charlie Hunnam was in that movie.
So, but people love that movie.
So, that's definitely something I keep thinking of checking out.
Have you seen Jaws?
You know what's funny?
As much as I love movies and growing up in the 70s, I didn't get into it until Jaws 2.
That's where they really got me into the series.
That was my entry point, and then I was no looking back.
Well, Jaws 2 is like the Godfather series.
I've never seen Jaws.
Many people feel it's the Terminator 2 of Jaws movies.
Could it be the aliens of Jaws movies?
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
Okay.
It's like the Caddyshack 2 of Jaws movies.
Much better movie.
No way.
Jaws 3D is the Caddyshack 2.
That's true.
Of the Jaws franchise.
Enough math, fellas.
Because now's the part of the show where I say,
Bert, turn it off.
Let the games begin!
Shout out to City Cab, by the way,
and everyone who were making fun of me
for running through the lobby,
because earlier I left my...
I forgot my cell phone in the cab
and the Westin Hotel gets a shout out too
because the crack staff looked at videotape,
found the cab company
and the number of the cab
and then, yeah.
Yeah, they CSI'd that shit immediately.
Enhance, enhance.
They were very relaxed about it, but had
great ideas. I was sort of like, is this going to work?
You know, what's going to happen?
And then they
got the name of the cab company,
and I called, and the dispatcher said, yeah,
I'll see what I can do. And we
gave him Sam's phone number.
And then the driver called, said, I'm coming
back over to the West, and I'll bring you your phone
for $7,000.
It's a classic Boston move.
So thank you to City Cab because it was worth it.
Then I got my phone back for just a reasonable tip.
Very nice.
I think it was reasonable.
How much do you, let's go down the line.
Yep.
Starting with Ken, how much would you... Let's go down the line. Yep. Starting with Ken,
how much would you give
to get your phone back?
If you could just get your phone back
within 10 minutes of having lost it.
Within 10 minutes
and he only took it from the airport.
Or maybe 30 minutes.
30 minutes.
Oh, that's different.
I'd give him 50.
Really?
Yeah.
All right.
How much would you give him, Josh?
Would you give him some shit chocolate?
Yeah, I'd probably give him
a MetPipe business card. Be like, hey, if you ever need a shit chocolate? Yeah, I'd probably give him a
MetPipe business card and be like, hey, if you ever need a toilet,
let me know and I'll hook you up.
You look like a man who could use a toilet.
You need something.
Do you have a shower head at your house?
This cab smells terrible.
How about a massaging shower head?
Hey, holler at me if you ever blast out your existing
toilet.
Which looks like it'll be soon.
We got toilets that are rated for guys like you.
Sam, what do you think?
I would have gone 40.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I fucked up.
Yeah, because who has a 50?
I gave him 20.
That's enough.
That's fine.
Jeez, somebody go drag the Charles.
He probably committed suicide after that.
He was pretty happy about it, actually.
Yeah.
And I told him, that's never going to happen again
because next time I'm going to Uber.
Yeah.
I left my jacket on an Uber once
and the guy came back and I gave him 10.
Yeah, that's a jacket.
Yeah.
This is a fucking phone.
I should have given him 50. Yeah.
I should have. So yeah, if you're listening...
I still don't know
his name. I know his cab number.
That's actually his name.
They make the drivers change their name to numbers.
Shout out to 207.
The dispatch guy was like the...
In the chain of events, the dispatch
guy was the one that had me worried
because he didn't sound really that interested in
recovering my phone. Because I started to
describe the phone case
and he was like, we'll let
you know. Wouldn't even let me finish talking about
my fucking Disney phone case.
But
also, how many phones are going to be in that
one cab? We knew which cab it was.
I'm just like, which phone is it?
I'm just picturing the dispatch guys been in the little Louis de Palma cage for, like, 40 years
and doesn't know there are cell phones and thinks you left a house phone in there.
All right, what is it?
One of them fancy not rotary ones?
Get over it.
All the references in that joke were for the over 40 crowd.
Yeah.
I know how to read an audience.
Every last one of them.
Yeah, so I'm going to call that same dispatcher and say,
hey, could you help me get 30 more dollars
to the driver of cab number 207?
He's not going to be into it.
I've taped it under a toilet
in the third stall
at South Station.
Wait, we have the cab driver's number, though.
I do.
We might call him later
and say, meet us wherever we're at.
I'll give you more money.
He was so happy for 20.
I kind of want to see how he's going to feel
about 30 more. He's going to go, don't rob me. Doug, I kind of want to see how he's going to feel about 30 more.
He's going to go, don't rob me.
Doug, I got news for you.
If you just want to see happiness on a stranger's face
when you give them money, we could just find people.
Not in Boston.
No, he did something,
so at least he would feel like he was getting it for a reason.
When somebody just walks up to you and hands you money,
my first reaction is, is this got anthrax on it?
What the fuck are you handing me this for?
My first reaction is,
I'm Jewish, so you must know something I don't.
Thank you.
Feel free to lean into that
stereotype. I'm good with this.
Has anyone ever walked up to you and just handed
you money and said, have a nice day?
Maybe. What are you, the IRS?
I might be.
Call me Special Agent Reed, please.
All right, so
I saw them earlier, but you guys get to see
them now. There's lots of great name tags.
So pick one that you want to play
for. Am I on
any of these name tags? And don't you lie to me.
Go look closer, Sam. And while they do that do that we'll do this we'll be right back today's episode is brought to you in part by movement
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Today's episode is also brought to you in part by I'm Dying Up Here,
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All right, we're back. to download the Showtime app also got a big toilet donut.
What are you doing, Sam?
Nothing.
Where are those from? Those look like Union Square donuts.
Are those Union Square?
That's a real donut.
Sam, if you want to throw one of these donuts, you have to walk off of the stage.
Yeah, I know.
Okay.
I don't even think we should do it that way because it's just a loophole.
Just hand them to people.
Well, somebody brought...
Where's the person who brought the crocheted donuts?
Where are you at?
What's your name?
Let me give you a shout-out.
Tracy.
Tracy.
Tracy crocheted a bunch of donuts because they're softer and safer for throwing.
Gluten-free.
Yeah, but we can't throw those
here because they told us not to throw anything.
And when I say they told us,
it's just a small sign in the green room.
Like, why do I look around at
every wall? Why didn't I just walk in there,
just fucking stare out the
window for a few minutes, and then come throw some donuts?
That's what you get for telling people
you're literate.
You can claim ignorance at every club you're at.
Somebody tossed a canister up here that says,
from Maine with love, and so thank you for that.
Blueberries.
I'm pretty sure I know what's in there,
and I can't wait to forget it in a cab.
Can you describe the case?
It's got an alien on it.
If you gave the cab driver money for that,
it is no longer a cab driver exchange.
You just conscripted him into a new career.
What do you got there for your name tag, Ken?
This is when Harry Svet Sally,
and I was disturbed by it
because they photoshopped
my face on Meg Ryan's,
which I thank you for,
and your face
on Billy Crystal's
and she's straddling him
as well,
which I don't remember
that poster.
This looks like
it's a British poster
for the movie,
which is a little more racier
and it disturbed me so much
I had to get it
off the streets.
Yeah, and it says on the poster, which is a little more racier, and it disturbed me so much, I had to get it off the streets. Yeah, and it says on the poster,
can two friends fuck on a bar stool and still love each other?
Yeah.
At last call.
And then at the bottom it says,
see Billy Crystal do an old Jewish man voice.
All right, good job.
I suppose Svet made this.
Svet?
Person named Svet.
Svet Lana, yeah.
Svet Lana's your name?
That's your real name?
Oh, nice.
Wow.
Well done.
When Harry Svet Lana.
All right, Josh, what do you got?
So I've got Mike and Doug need wedding dates,
and they really went above and beyond
because they did both sides of the board here.
It's a two-sided poster.
Right, and so it's you and Doug, or no, you and Mike, sorry,
with these two up here, your wife and your daughter.
All right.
What?
So, Doug, you're...
What am I doing?
You're shirtless with Mike's daughter.
Oh, no.
Which is apparently what he's interested in.
Yeah.
Do you know what show this is, or do you just bring that...
You keep saying daughter.
She's an adult, for the record.
Oh, no.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, she's not little Logan.
She's all right.
But, no, it's good.
And then on the back, for some reason on the back,
they didn't superimpose their own faces onto the women.
Right, but also where's the shit head?
But on the front, is that weird?
There's two people in between.
Where's the shit heads?
Where's the shit head?
I don't know if there is one.
Why no shit head?
They were feeling bold.
Oh, they think they're going to win.
Whoa, that's critical.
We'll see what happens.
You are not.
Oh, I saw this one on the internet.
I like this one.
Yeah, this is one of my favorite movies,
and this guy did a pretty great job.
This would be My Blue Kevin,
which is one of my favorite Steve Martin films,
My Blue Heaven.
And he did put quite a few
DLM regulars on it
although I'm not featured
but I still
I'm in a suit with a gavel and a bane mask
I think I know
I think I know my next job
The bane mask has pushed me over the
over the
line on this one, that's why I went with it
It's got lots of the regulars from the show,
including Ken Reed and Jeff Tate
and Jacob Seroff and
Dan Van Kirk.
It's got the date on there. I mean, it's really
complicated. And then it's got a nice frame
on it. Kevin Bowes.
Kevin Bowes is a video editor.
He's made himself blue on there too, so
it looks like he's going to pass out.
And his shithead, for
anybody else who's curious about this,
is in an envelope taped in the back.
Yes, Oscar style.
That's very polite.
It says moonlight in there, doesn't it?
Well, I'll tell you
this, I think the odds of us hearing
what it says in that envelope are slim
because
if I were a betting man, I would think Sam's gonna win
but let's just play the games and see what
happens. Here we go.
Good job everybody with your name tags.
There's always
tomorrow
when dreams can come true.
Alright, the first game we're gonna
play, because it's that time of year, you guys,
if you're a dad or a grad or no one,
you know that there's some commencement speeches going on,
and this game is called the Commence with the Commencement Game.
I'm going to read a commencement speech from a motion picture.
A classic, I dare say.
Okay.
And you guys can guess as often as you like
until one of you discerns the correct title the full title of this motion
picture shout out your guesses and that's always a fun thing to do does
anybody else have a pre guess itess? Not say anything? No.
Okay.
Oh, and I do it as Bane.
Thank you.
Even better.
So you don't know which character is saying these things,
because Bane has never made a commencement speech.
Yet.
That I'm aware of.
If any school out there, I don't even care if it's an online school,
if there's any school that would like a Bain commencement speech,
I'd be happy to write and deliver it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We already have the promo shot right here.
It has to be a judge school.
Yeah.
This is from a movie without Bain in it.
Okay.
This is my point.
Look good, feel good.
Is it the graduate?
It is with passion, courage of conviction.
Dead Poets Society.
And strong sense of self.
School ties.
That we take our next steps into the world.
Space camp.
Remembering
that first impressions
are not always correct.
Can't hardly wait.
You must always have faith
in people.
Red Dawn.
Did the invasion happen during your commencement speech?
Well, that's what they did the speech,
and then they were like, oh, forget it.
I love you, Beth Cooper.
There's no reason to confess things like that.
Just play the game, Sam.
I was in that movie.
Come on, little Logan.
And most importantly...
One crazy summer.
You must always have faith in yourself.
X-Men.
First class.
Never been kissed.
School of Rock.
Okay, the audience is starting to guess a little bit,
so don't guess, audience.
I'm going to give you guys another clue.
I'll read the part that I think is most clearly
from the voice of this character
in a voice that I think is how she sounds.
I've already said it's a she.
Does that help?
Election?
No.
No. No.
And most importantly... Oh, oh, legally born!
Yes!
Nice, nice.
Very nice.
Yep.
Wow, that would have been over in a second if I had just done my spot-on impression.
Just a second.
Of Elle Woods, yeah.
Of Graham Elle Woods, that's right.
Oh, that was fantastic.
All right, Ken, well, good for you because you really needed that win today.
You needed to start off a winner because
according to my calculations
because I
prepared everything.
So I know
I'm pretty sure what's going to happen next.
We got three
veteran players of
the games on this show so I thought
it would be a fun time to bust out
the Leonard Moulton game.
Oh!
Wow!
Wow!
Oh, boy!
Woo!
You just made my year!
I don't want Reagan to see this.
Well, that's...
I put a bag over his head
because I know if I were in the audience
I would like Reagan staring at me.
So rendition Reagan is way better.
It's fucking creepy
as shit.
What a
very classy
young lady in the front row said
that was his re-election campaign slogan
in 34
I'm creepy as shit
well
I can only say the well
the rest of the impressions
alright so basically
for anyone who is a newer listener
to the show or has never heard the show
the Leonard Maltin game is a newer listener to the show or has never heard the show,
the Leonard Maltin game is a little complicated to explain to the guests every time out,
and also the Leonard Maltin app died.
But a lovely gentleman in the Atlanta area sent me a booklet of rounds of this game,
and then I came up with names for the categories.
Because we play it a little bit differently this way,
I'll give you three choices, Ken, of categories,
and not tell you.
I'll just tell you the wacky names of the categories,
not what the categories are actually about.
Then you have to pick one,
and then I'll tell you the rest of the things you need to know
to start off the round.
Okay.
I consent to that.
This game is on a need-to-know basis.
But I do wish
to remind everybody,
Josh, do you know
the Leonard Maltin game?
I do, yeah.
Yeah, I want to remind you
about the negative name aspect.
Sure.
You can bid negative names
if you want to name
people in the movie
from the bottom up.
No, top down.
Top down, I mean.
Sorry.
Yeah.
I'm sorry. It's summer. Put the top down. Top down, I mean. Sorry. I'm sorry.
It's summer.
Put the top down.
You name them like you undress.
Top down.
Is that how you get undressed?
I don't know.
Do people go bottom up?
He takes his shoes off last.
I take my pants off over my shoes
like anybody does
when they're dressing from top down.
You lazy undressers.
Let's do a BuzzFeed article.
You've been undressing wrong.
Clothes are designed to go top down.
All right.
Okay.
Oh, and we're playing to two points.
So the first person to get two either correct answers
or challenges will be our winner.
Ken, and then we'll go
Ken, Josh,
Sam, just to, you know,
you know why I did that.
I know, Doug. I always knew.
Alright.
Ken, would you like a category called
The 19th Hole?
Or Rock the Vote?
Or Four Seasons?
I'm going to go Four Seasons.
All right, these are films that were directed by Alan Alda
or have a season in the title.
Okay, all right.
All right. title okay all right all right that makes me feel good okay confident yeah dry secure yeah Dry, secure? Yeah. I'll raise my hand. If you're sure.
Leonard calls this movie from 2014
a three and a half star movie.
He calls it cutting edge.
And he says this movie has surprisingly serious underpinnings.
Yeah. Those clues are rarely helpful. He says this movie has surprisingly serious underpinnings.
Yeah.
Those clues are rarely helpful.
I don't want to give away what it is.
But Leonard lists 14 actors in this motion picture that was either directed by Alan Alda
or has a season in the title.
How many out of 14 do you think you can get it in?
Eight.
Eight names, he says Josh do you want to challenge him to hear the bottom eight names or do you
want to hit 14 bit lower name that movie he gets eight out of 14 yeah I'm okay
with that all right 2014 I don't even know.
Sam, do you want to punch Reagan?
No, no, no, I'm fine.
Sounds like a horrible mother talking to her teenage son.
Do you want to punch Reagan?
Should I leave you alone so you can punch Reagan?
Are you punching Reagan in there?
Well, mother.
I don't recall.
All right, here you go.
Here's your eight names from this motion picture from 2014.
Three and a half stars.
Cutting edge.
Surprisingly serious underpinnings.
Oh, I fucking hate serious underpinnings.
I don't need anything down there that's serious.
And please, when this comes to you,
into your head in the audience,
don't shout it out,
because I think people are going to know it.
I'm not going to know from these eight names.
I think. We'll see.
Gary Sinise,
Jenny Agater,
Toby Jones, Haley Atwell, Emily Van Camp, Maximiliana Hernandez, Frank Grillo, and Kobe Smulders.
See, there are people who know it.
Is this Winter Soldier?
Full title?
Captain America, the Winter Soldier?
That is correct.
Whoa.
Alan Alda's finest work.
It is really good.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right, so Ken is on the board at one point,
but Sam is now in control
because he was left out of that scare-me-ish.
Take control.
Take control.
Come out of the shadows, little Logan.
That's what I say when I undress.
All right, so Sam gets to go first,
then we switch the order, go to Josh.
Sam gets to pick a category between these three.
Would you like
four letter word,
eat my dust,
or
the Boston Strangler?
Clearly I have to take
the Boston Strangler.
You don't want to get hit
with a battery again.
It was a C battery, ladies and gentlemen.
And it was thrown hard.
Yeah.
Yep.
Okay.
The boss is Strangler.
I'm sure you're going to be very happy to pick this.
Oh, terrific.
Is movies with the name of a city in the title.
Oh, okay.
All right.
And this is a motion picture from 2002.
Leonard gives it three stars.
And he says
the stars are good
the stars of the film
and he also calls it
an Oscar winner
and he lists
ten names
that doesn't mean it's an Oscar winner he just calls it one
it could be
he could just be describing it as this is a real Oscar winner he just calls it one? It could be. He could just be describing it as
this is a real Oscar winner.
Maybe. Someday.
No, I believe it means
it did win Oscars.
It gives it three stars.
Zero names.
2002.
I don't know what is happening.
Sam is so good at this game.
What do you got, Josh?
If I had any idea, I'd try, but name that movie.
You know what, though?
Just name away.
I feel negative.
I feel pretty negative about my answer right now,
so I don't want to go any further negative.
All right, well, I'm just going to tell you,
and Sam is happy that you're playing
honorably, but this is going to
now Sam's going to have a point,
and you could have kicked it down the field to Ken.
It's a fair point, yeah. Oh no, then
he would have had two points. That's right.
So you did the right thing. You did the right thing
from every possible angle.
I feel good about it, yeah. I really only had two angles
coming into me. Plus, I could always be wrong,
and he could get a point.
I am wrong occasionally.
People are laughing at you and taking out batteries.
All right, Boston, calm down.
It's Chicago.
That is correct.
It won Best Picture, for fuck's sake.
Who's number one?
Is it Zellweger or Gere?
I didn't want to gamble.
I had no idea who number one would be. Zellweger is number one, probably? Or Gere. Yeah it Zellweger or Gere? I didn't want to gamble. I had no idea who number one would be.
Zellweger is number one probably?
Or Gere.
Yeah, Zellweger.
It's about her character more than any of the others.
Roxy, right?
Yeah.
I saw that show on Broadway and I fell asleep.
Who was that?
It was the loudest show on Broadway.
I was sitting in the third and I was like, I'm out.
Wake me up when Joel Grey gets here. I don't like musicals, guys.
The music's very soothing.
Who did you go with? Did you go with somebody?
Yeah, my parents.
And they just let you sleep?
They didn't give a shit. They wanted to see it.
Sam sat on his father's lap
and was embarrassed
when they got to the ventriloquist scene.
Yeah.
got to the ventriloquist scene.
Yeah.
Is that a Freaks and Geeks reference?
At least I don't dress like a ventriloquist
dummy. Was it an insult?
Right, but there's this scene in the show where they
pretend to be a ventriloquist. I've seen the film.
Wait,
you fell asleep when they're doing it live
in front of your face and you're like like, I want to check out the movie.
No, they were years apart, number one.
And number two, I felt bad.
And it wasn't like I was going to go to see it again on Broadway.
Oh, you felt bad?
You decided to give back $8?
Yeah, Broadway gives back.
So do I.
The Broadway cast got a note when he saw the movie.
They were like, Mr. Levine has finally seen it.
And they're like, well, thankfully, I can put that chapter to rest. Thank God none of us when he saw the movie. They were like, Mr. Levine has finally seen it. They're like, well, thankfully I can put that chapter to rest.
Thank God none of us were involved in the movie because they cast movie stars.
Yeah, it sucks.
All right, here we go.
I mean, I think that also may have helped you that Leonard only gave it three
because you're friends with Leonard and you probably know that he thought it was overrated.
I knew exactly what it was the minute you said the year.
Wow.
It won Best Picture.
It was a very obvious pick in my brain.
Settle down.
I hadn't said anything about the Oscars yet.
No, you didn't.
At 2002, you knew it.
I knew exactly what it was. I want to know now.
I'm going to look this up later.
If there's any other movie from 2002
that has a city in the title.
There may very well be,
but that was the first one that came to me
because, again, it won Best Picture.
I said it won
some Oscar. I said it won Oscar
winner. I didn't. I was saying I knew
that it was the Best Picture winner for O2.
I know. I know. But it could have won a Sound Design.
Oh, I think it won
several awards. It won a bunch of stupid awards.
Not stupid. Sorry, Sound Designer.
And Ceremonies
held earlier awards. You guys, it beat out the two towers
for a lot of awards.
All right, Ken has control.
Oh, boy.
And then it goes to Josh.
So the two of you could end this.
Sam could be sad over there.
We could end this.
What are you going to do?
We could end this.
Sam, put on your battery catching mitt.
There are people here with car batteries,
Sam. I should tell you that. Fuck.
Alright. I gotta
find some categories. Oh, here we go.
Alright. Would you like, Ken, would you like
the category Google Maps?
Sounds
fun.
Or what about
F-bombs?
That's a fun category.
Let me give you a third one.
Or do you want to just pick from those two?
I'm curious what the third is.
Yeah, I would be too if I were you.
It might be movies Ken Reed has seen.
Should have just waited.
So impatient.
I've got to find another one, though.
I haven't filled in this entire thing.
It's like an SAT booklet.
The guy did a terrific job.
I wish I could give him a shout out by name,
but he'll tweet at me tomorrow or the next day.
He had it bound, everybody.
It's spiral bound.
Yeah, it's real nice,
but I can't find another fucking category. You were right to just pick between bound. Yeah, it's real nice. But I can't find another fucking category.
You were right to just pick between two.
Yeah.
This guy should have done a better job with indexing.
Why the hell am I shutting you down when you could just pick from the two?
Yeah, go ahead and pick from the two since you liked one of them.
Let's go F-bombs.
You like F-bombs?
I like F-bombs.
You weren't going to pick the third one anyway.
No, I don't care what it was.
There's no way.
All right.
Here we go.
These are movies Ken Reed has not seen.
That's a big category.
I don't know why it's called F-bombs.
It's like a weird name for the category.
They were all made after the year 2000.
Now I can't even find the F-bombs category.
This is a nightmare.
I got to find it because you picked it
whatever you find
the first one you open to
no no no it's gotta be F-Bombs
it's in here somewhere
it's Fomka Jensen movies
Josh what do you think it's gonna be?
oh boy I don't know where the rocks where Josh, what do you think it's going to be?
Boy, I don't know where the rock swears.
Oh, that's not a terrible idea.
What about you, Sam?
PG-13 movies because you're only allowed to say fuck once.
Nice.
Oh, that is really nice. And you're not allowed to say it in a sexually related manner.
Can you name the PG-13 movies with boobs in them?
There's four.
Titanic. Titanic.
Yep. Good start.
The Fifth Element? Nope.
She's just scantily clad the whole time. There's some kind of boob in there.
I'm talking full boob. You need nipple.
Alright.
You don't know?
The other three are not. No, Mr. Skin, I don't.
You know.
Someone clearly never had to rent movies from Blockbuster.
I don't want to say them now,
but it could be a future category.
This is a good one.
I'm excited that I found it.
Because F-bombs is movies
that Leonard Maltin hated
that begin with the letter F.
Oh!
Finally.
Yeah.
So as previously stated, Ken,
Leonard Maltin gave this the bomb designation.
Didn't even get one star, just straight up bomb.
Yeah, not duh.
He calls this movie excruciating.
Ha ha ha ha!
And he also mentions that the movie is replete with close-ups of vomit.
Now, that's a pretty good clue that's also not a very good clue.
What is the year, please?
The year, thank you for asking, is 1998.
And Leonard lists
16 names.
16 names.
Start us off, Ken.
Ooh, I don't know.
Some strategic bidding.
16 names. I go four names.
He just wants four names, Josh.
I feel like I know
where this is headed. So does Sam.
I mean, I'm just playing a lot of defense here. Name that movie.
What's he going to do?
He can't go three names.
He could go three. Come on. The Vomit?
The Vomit?
Yeah.
Did that narrow it down for you?
Yeah.
Do you know the PG-13 movies are close-ups of Vomit?
There's only four.
Titanic.
All right.
16 names, you want four.
Yeah.
I mean, you don't want four.
That's what you're going to get.
Give it to me.
Whether you like it or not.
And this will be an interesting one.
Sam, do you have any thoughts?
I'm going to keep my thoughts
to myself at present.
Okay.
Very official.
The four names are
Ellen Barkin,
Harry Dean Stanton,
last man Stanton's namesake.
Wow.
Michael Jeter
and Christina Ricci.
That's four out of the 16 names
that Leonard has chosen to give credit for being in this movie.
Christina Ricci.
Ooh.
Right?
That's tough, actually.
98, Christina Ricci.
Any thoughts at this point, Sam?
Yeah, I think Josh is about to get a point.
Let's say friends and lovers.
No.
No, I don't think that's a movie.
I just want us to say that so I can feel comfortable enough to give my real answer.
But I'm glad you at least remembered that it begins with F.
So you threw out an F.
I didn't even think of it.
You threw out an F title.
Friends with benefits.
Yeah.
That's not it.
Do you know what it is, Sam?
No, I really don't.
You don't?
No.
For sure?
My guess is going to be Final Destination. No, no, not with those actors. There's no vomit in Sam? No, I really don't. You don't? No. For sure? My guess is it's going to be Final Destination.
No, not with those actors.
There's no vomit in that.
No, no, no.
Is it like a John Waters movie?
The rest of the names are, and only the people on stage, just yell out when you know it.
Gary Busey, Flea, Lyle Lovett, Cameron Diaz, Penn Jillette, Tim Thomerson, Mark Harmon,
Catherine Hellman, Craig Bierko, Tobey Maguire, Benicio Del Toro.
And Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. That's it. Oh, I thought. Craig Bierko, Tobey Maguire, Benicio Del Toro.
And Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
That's it, yes.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I thought that was earlier than 98.
That's good.
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
I read it wrong.
It's from 1994.
I'm kidding.
I thought that was earlier.
I forgot.
Yeah, it's still been a minute.
And boy, Leonard did not like that.
Yeah.
And that is a much beloved cult classic.
But Leonard had that thing with Hunter S. Thompson.
That's true.
The duel.
I bet he gave a better rating to the Bill Murray one.
Oh, yeah.
Where the buffalo roam.
Newly out on Blu-ray.
I find them both off-putting, but that might just be because the main character's a weirdo
who's fucking on acid and shit all the time.
There's very few movies I enjoy
where someone uses a cigarette holder.
And all of those were directed by John Waters?
Well, only Cecil B. Demented has a cigarette holder.
Oh, okay.
What about Batman, the original Batman?
Batman 66? Yeah. TV series. I don't like the movie, though. That's what I'm saying, the original Batman? Batman 66? TV series.
I don't like the movie, though.
That's what I'm saying, the movie.
He's got a cigarette holder?
It's not my favorite.
Alright, Sam, you're in charge.
You don't say.
You get to determine
everybody's got a point.
We got a three-way tie, everybody. Woo!
We got to get her done, so... All right.
Sam, I'm going to give you three choices.
You know, we all know what a big mistake it was
for Ken to only take two options.
Yep.
Reoccurring theme in my life.
Would you like X-Ray or Lando or Sea?
Sea soap? Yeah, yeah.
Lando or Sea soap?
Yeah.
Or the do-over?
Oh. Which one of those do you want? Let's do the do-over. Oh.
Which one of those do you want?
Let's do the do-over.
All right, the do-over.
You sound so sad about it.
I know.
I said I'd never do this.
Movies with a title that has been used previously.
Got it.
On another known movie.
It's a totally different thing.
It's not a reboot. It's not a do known movie. It's a totally different thing. It's not a reboot.
It's not a do-over.
It's the same title once again.
This one is from 2014.
Leonard says about this movie
that it features episodes of silliness
and that it's energetically juvenile.
He gives it two and a half stars
and he lists
19 names.
That is a lot of names.
What do you think, Sam?
I will do it
in
16 names.
Not so confident this time.
No.
No, I'm not.
Josh?
15 names.
Ken?
10.
Ken says 10.
10 for Ken.
Name that movie Oh shit
Alright
Will this be the first time you've ever won with a name that movie?
No
Good to know
Your 10 names
Are
Hannibal Buress
Kyle
Nowacek Anders Holm Blake Anderson Hannibal Burris, Kyle Nuiček,
Anders Holm,
Blake Anderson, Adam
Devine,
Jorma Tacombe,
Akiva Schaefer,
Andy Samberg,
Craig
Roberts,
and Jared Carmichael.
10 out of 19 names.
Ooh.
And this is...
2014.
The title of another movie.
Mm-hmm.
That part, you might want to dwell on that part
if not recognizing what all those people were in
is a problem.
No, I really don't know.
Sam knows it.
Sam knows it in his heart.
I'm so angry at myself right now.
How many less names could you
have gotten it with, Sam? Just the first one?
Yeah.
Hannibal's not
in a ton of movies. No, he's not, but I haven't seen
any movies after 1999.
And I miss
Vera Lothic in Las Vegas.
What the hell yeah I'd say
guess a movie
that's you know
had a title
that another movie
had but that's
kind of hard
to just pull out
of nowhere
yeah that's what
I'm trying to go with
oh Jesus Christ
like they did
Kicking and Screaming
that was a title
twice
yeah I remember
that was twice
I'm gonna go with the bodyguard,
which has not been reused.
There was my bodyguard and the bodyguard.
They haven't used one twice.
But that's your guess?
I got nothing.
All right.
Well, that means that Sam Levine is our winner!
Yay!
And just like Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway,
we will not be reading what's in that envelope.
At least not on stage.
At least not correctly.
All right.
And Sam knows it already,
but the rest of the actors were
Carlo Gallo, Jake Johnson, Lisa Kudrow,
Ike Barinholtz, Christopher Mintz-Plasse,
Dave Franco, Rose Byrne, Zac Efron,
and Seth Rogen.
And it was the second time
that the title Neighbors had been used.
Oh, yes.
The original Neighbors was Ackroyd and Belushi.
And the director, John G. Avilson, just died.
It just happened.
Yeah, Kathy Moriarty is just died. It just happened. It just died.
Kathy Moriarty is in that.
It's a great movie.
If you've never seen The Original Neighbors,
here's one very important thing you need to know about it.
About a week before production,
Belushi and Aykroyd called the studio and said,
we're switching roles.
And it's great.
And the studio was like, what?
And they were like, this is the role
I've always played,
this is the role
he's always played,
we're fucking switching.
And the studio was like,
fine.
And that's why the movie
is so fucking weird.
Yeah.
Acroids got bleach blonde hair
and blue contact lenses in
and look,
it's super,
super weird guys.
I can imagine it
with them playing,
you know,
and it's still not being very good.
Yeah,
it wouldn't have been great either way,
but it's definitely weird.
It's a rough movie.
It's got a good soundtrack.
John G. Appleton, rest in peace.
We don't have time for this.
Do you guys have any plugs?
Let's start with you, Ken Reed.
What do you got coming up?
Next week I'll be at Denver Comic Con
doing some live TV guidance counselors
and running panels and hanging around.
So if people not here in Boston, but people listening are in Denver.
I don't, yeah, I don't, I don't need that name tag, Josh,
because it doesn't have a shithead on it.
Do you guys have a shithead you could just say to me?
Okay.
Good, good one.
I was told Boston wasn't a political town.
Please don't politicize
Doug Love's movies.
What the hell?
Josh,
Metropolitan Pipe, how can people
get shit? If anybody needs
any toilets or any plumbing
supplies, please let me know. Do you sell those
Japanese toilets that clean your butt?
Yeah, damn right we do.
See you.
Thank you.
We're going to talk.
You can call 1-800-MET-PIPE
or www.metpipe.com.
Also, you can follow me on Twitter.
Isn't he a great guest, you guys?
Always happy to be here.'s your what's your twitter handle you can
follow me on twitter at wagon sports i've got a podcast called off the wagon sports where we get
drunk and talk about sports very nice thanks for being here dude uh sam levine uh you can follow
me uh twitter instagram at sam levine sam with two Ms. Wet Hot American Summer, 10 years later.
This fall, I think.
Later this summer, this fall, I don't know.
On Netflix.
And Kevin Pollak's chat show on YouTube.
And check him out in Logan on demand.
Yes.
That'd be a good cartoon show, Little Logan.
Little Logan.
You're just as angry as him,
but he is, but one-fifth the size.
One-fifth?
I mean, I'm short, man, but Jesus.
One percent, at least. One of his arms is as thick as your torso.
Wasn't he in Chicago?
No, he wasn't.
That was Richard Gere.
So July 2nd, Douglas Movies is at the Improv in Kansas City.
And I don't know about you guys,
but I feel like this first time here at Laugh Boston
has been a complete success.
Yeah.
Yes, sir.
Very good.
So much fun.
Be excited to see, you know,
some of you back here tomorrow,
but then also down the road in the future.
I'd love to come back
if this club will continue to have me.
We'll see how tomorrow goes.
Tomorrow I might get fucked up and forget about the no throwing rule.
You just never know.
But hopefully it'll all work out.
And as always, Donald Trump is a shithead.
is a shithead and
the American legal system
is a shithead
hey once again
thanks to I'm Dying Up Here
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