Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine, Kevin Kraft and an audience member guest
Episode Date: November 23, 2017Live from the American Comedy Company in Sweet Home San Diego, Doug welcomes Samm Levine, Kevin Kraft and an audience member to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Ca...lifornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screening baby sticky seeds with 50 acid pop popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug.
I'm doing pretty good right now.
And I love movies!
This is God Loves Movies!
Yay!
You guys are the best.
Here we are once again
coming to you from...
This isn't some Russian comedy situation.
This is American comedy.
We're at the American Comedy Company
in Sweet Home San Diego!
F-A-M-A-N-T-A-L-I-A Tijuana, Mexico.
I've got a script over here but I'm going to go off script for a second
our president
it's Wednesday November 22nd
Thanksgiving Eve
2017 and I can always
count on Sandy D.
Let go of my San Diego.
To bring some name tags.
Let me see them, you guys.
Oh, shit.
I was right.
Always lots of good ones.
Strangely, kind of a right brain more than a left brain kind of thing tonight.
Depending on your point of view.
From where I'm sitting, the left side looks
a little lighter, but maybe somebody's
holding up a huge thing. Oh no,
it's a little submarine? Is that like
a yellow submarine?
Oh, the Hunt
for Red Scott-tober.
Pardon
me with the only other
submarine movie.
I guess there was K-9
Widowmaker. Not K-9.
That was John Belushi.
Matt Ilda. I saw that one
on the internet today.
Very good job.
You kind of look like the lady
who stars...
What's her name? Hawkins
stars in the new Shape of Water movie.
Because he's Matilda
in the picture.
You guys can't see it, but I'm telling you.
He looks like that lady.
I also saw this Guardians of the Galaxy
Volume 1 today
on the internet.
It's got some great photoshopping of Jacob Siroff as Groot.
And, yeah, Jacob's not here tonight.
Yeah, I know, right?
You guys love him.
Especially people sitting up front because he really goes after people.
Straw Dogs, a film by Doug Benson.
Where is your name in that?
Your name is Straw?
My name is Stephen Straw.
Stephen Straw.
Okay.
I don't think I deserve credit for Straw Dogs,
whether it stars Dustin Hoffman or James Marsden or you.
Those are all the straw dogs I know.
Shart instead of Shrek?
What's your name?
Art.
Art.
My favorite.
Put him down, everybody.
Shart's in town.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Next time, if you come to the show,
I hope you do Shart School Confidential.
Doug Pluggs, the 12 guests of Christmas,
Doug Loves Movies at the Gramercy Theater in New York City Sunday is sold out,
so get tickets to Monday night, which might still have tickets when you hear this. Guests of Christmas, Douglas Movies at the Gramercy Theater in New York City Sunday is sold out.
So get tickets to Monday night, which might still have tickets when you hear this.
Tuesday, December 5th, Douglas Movies is back at the UCB Theater Franklin location in Los Angeles.
Plus, 12 guests of Christmas shows at Largo in Los Angeles are on December 12th and 13th. The 13th starts off Tate Crazy Nights all over the country.
December 13th through 20th shows with Jeff Tate on every show.
And don't forget the holiday taint.
Douglas Movies will be back here at the American Comedy Company
on Tuesday, December 26th.
And then I'll be doing stand-up in Irvine on
the 27th and
28th at the Improv
in Irvine.
Are the lights still up like I'm looking at name tags,
or do I need more glaucoma
medication?
Ha ha ha ha ha!
I like you guys in darkness
because then I can't get mad at you as any individuals
just some voice in the crowd that makes me go
I never did get a good look at the lady
who yelled out Amy Adams
no idea what she looks like
which is good
for her sake No idea what she looks like. Which is good.
For her sake.
Not that I'd do anything, but you know what I mean.
All of my dates and deets are at douglasmovies.com.
That's douglasmovies.com!
Yeah!
What was that last thing?
Did someone throw in a... No!
Weird.
I got some stuff in a prize bag.
It's a beautiful bag from Bebo.
It's a company that makes edibles and vape pens.
And I included in the bag a lovely packaged Bebo sativa-dominant vape pen
that's
disposable.
It looks like copper. It looks like
those drinks that you drink in the copper cup.
Moscow Mule.
Is that what it's called?
Oh, I'm never going to drink
that again.
I'm anti-Moscow.
Right?
This is the American Comedy Company.
I just promoted a Moscow mule.
Do they even sell Moscow mules here?
They do?
In that special cup?
Oh, fuck.
Collusion!
Collusion!
Also in the bag
is a tiny Heinz tomato ketchup sauce.
Who doesn't love tiny condiments?
So cute.
Oh, speaking of tiny and cute,
this is a spray that you may have seen
on Getting Doug With High.
It's called Jombo.
Yeah, I'm giving
away a little bottle of Jumbo because
you know, hang on to it until
January 1st when everything really flips
and becomes completely legal
here in California. I mean, I guess you can
have Jumbo anytime.
That's their slogan.
I guess you can have it anytime.
Jumbo.
I also brought from the company that makes Getting Doug with High
an official Josh hat
so if we're doing a show anywhere
and you want to sneak in acting like a crew member
you could wear that
and then I'd be like oh shit it's that guy
and we'd wink and then we'd both hold up
some Mentos
it was feeling like a Mentos.
It was feeling like a Mentos ad to me.
My friend Sam Levine's always given away these for your consideration DVDs,
which I've always been told the FBI will knock on my door.
So whoever wins these, just be cool.
I've got The Hobbit, Unexpected Journey,
and the sequel, Extremely Loud, Incredibly Close.
And also, it's now become a tradition, I think,
for the gift bag here at San Diego,
a copy of San Diego Magazine.
gift bag here in San Diego.
A copy of San Diego Magazine.
Learn about your damn city.
I'm tired of you
not knowing anything about your city.
This has got
a tribute to the military.
I kind of want to hang on to it now.
And the ultimate
guide to global cuisine.
Well, it's San Diego.
What the fuck?
Let's keep it San Diego.
Why are you talking about all over the globe?
I guess it's global cuisine that you can get here.
Now, you guys,
I'm just putting everything back in the bag,
which is really fun to listen to and watch
I don't know which is better
but tonight
you know it's Thanksgiving tomorrow
so it's a big ask for my show busy LA friends
to be here tonight in San Diego
the night before Thanksgiving
but I got a couple of dudes here
that if you listen to the show regularly,
you love.
But we need a third competitor tonight.
And it's going to be one of you.
That's right.
For the third or fourth or maybe fifth time
in the history of this show,
and not because anyone's getting thrown off,
I am going to go into the crowd
and pick three people to come up here
and quickly compete in a game from the show,
and the winner of that will get to remain
as a guest for the rest of this thing tonight.
For the rest of this thing tonight. For the rest of the thing!
Holy shit, this is like Rudy or something.
The enthusiasm, that wasn't,
that clapping was more like the end of a sports movie.
Maybe tin cup, it was a little reserved.
Should I have said
Legend of Bagger Vance?
Nope.
All right.
So hold up your name tags again
because I like to go by
amazing name tags
to make this decision.
And we have to get Shard up here.
Shard has to play.
And, you know, I'm just intrigued by Straw Dogs and Stephen Straw.
So let's get Stephen up here.
And let's get, you know, we got to get a lady up here. And let's get a, you know,
we gotta get a lady up here.
Yeah, right?
What's that one over there all about?
Everybody's pointing at her.
Is it you? Do you think you'd be good at this?
She says no, but her friends say yes,
which is probably
really cruel of them.
But come on up here, young lady.
Yeah, bring your drink if you want.
Sit where you have a stool to put it on.
There you go.
Here she comes.
Let me see your name tag.
All right, I changed my mind
sit down
no this is pretty cool
it's Indiana
Jones and the Last Crusade
yeah
pass that back to her
why'd you go with Last Crusade
rather than Temple of Doom
Last Crusade is my favorite one
it is? of all three?
of all three okay Of all three.
I've got so many things to say to you right now.
I'm just happy that you came up here.
I don't know how many more women
made name tags tonight.
Oh, we got a couple more?
You didn't think you'd be great up here, did you?
No.
People know their strengths.
I mean, one look at these
two bearded, toque-wearing weirdos.
Is that what those things are called?
Tukes? Beanie.
Beanie? Okay. A beanie.
Alright, dude. Tell me about yourself.
Oh, you don't have to tell me about you. I already talked
to you at length, Stephen Straw.
But how are you doing tonight, man?
I'm having fun.
How are you?
I'm doing all right.
At this point, it's just kind of a countdown to when do I get to smoke again?
I am right there with you.
Thank God there's alcohol in the interim.
But thanks for coming up here, Stephen.
How do you think you're going to do tonight?
I hope to do really well, and I hope to stay up here.
Oh, it's all about hoping.
Yeah, okay.
Put me on the spot like that.
Thoughts and prayers.
Yes, please, everybody, thoughts and prayers for me.
Yeah, especially the listeners.
Hope and pray for an outcome that's already been determined,
and your hope and prayers wouldn't have anything to do with in the first place.
And art is here, everybody.
Art is here, everybody.
And not only does he have a cool Shrek poster that says Art instead of Shrek,
but he made a green-faced me for Shrek.
And then there's...
Sam is the lady character, I think.
And Jacob is the donkey.
The racist donkey. And Mark Wahlberg is the donkey. The racist donkey.
And Mark Wahlberg is the dragon.
Yeah.
Greatest fairy tale never told.
Shart.
Oh, wait, there's weed on this thing, too?
Holy shit, I can't believe I picked you for other reasons.
That's fair. That's fair.
That's ridiculous.
Good job, Art.
All right, so...
To determine who gets to stay up here,
we're going to see who can last longest in Last Man Stanton.
Stanton.
August in Last Man Stanton.
You determine your order by how you sat down.
We're going to start with Deanna and then go to Stephen and then Art.
I picked somebody from the audience to determine what name we're going to use tonight.
And that person's name is Sean A. Rothrock.
Yo!
Got here, you got a good seat, did you?
So excited, you contacted me on the internet and then you got here like 10 minutes before showtime.
What's up, Rothrock?
You doing good?
Alright.
I guess, I mean, it's no big...
You can sit in the back. It's just a podcast.
Close your eyes. Pretend you're listening to it at home.
You reached out to me on Instagram Which is unusual
I don't like that
So what's your suggestion dude?
Samuel L. Jackson
Never done before
Except for maybe 50 times.
No, but this is good because these three people, obviously,
have never competed against each other probably in anything before.
Are you all just meeting for the first time?
Yes.
All right.
Yes.
So did any of you come here alone?
No.
Well, she knew that about all of you.
I drove here alone.
But I met with a friend.
All right.
I was enjoying the puzzle.
All right. I was enjoying the puzzle. All right, here we go.
The films of Sam Jackson.
I'm not going to play because we've got to move this along.
Starting with Deanna.
Go.
Deep Blue Sea.
Pulp Fiction.
Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace.
Show Off.
Jurassic Park.
Nice.
Don't murmur answers, you guys,
because these guys can hear you.
We want a fair competition.
Shaft.
Yeah, we don't want anybody to be shafted.
Well, if they were, then perhaps a black snake might moan.
Black snake moan.
Listen, I know what you're trying to do, but that was terrible.
Sorry, Doug.
It was last minute. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Deanna?
Snakes on a plane.
Whoa.
Double snake action.
That'd be a fun double feature
if you like two movies
that are terrible back to back.
Steve?
Iron Man.
Wait, who are we talking about?
Sam Jackson.
He's in the post-credits scene.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
You win.
Oh, there you go, guys.
He said I win.
No, no, that round between you and me.
That argument.
All right.
The Hateful Eight.
What?
The Hateful Eight.
Oh, okay.
Deanna.
Kill Bill Volume 2.
Whoa.
That's sneaky.
Steven.
Captain America, The Winter Soldier. Soldier Holy shit you guys are good
Art
Django Unchained
Marvel's The Avengers
Okay
That was my next one
I'm gonna have to say Goodfellas
Wow Nice pull Art That was my next one. Stop. I like that. I'm going to have to say Goodfellas.
Wow.
Nice pull.
Art.
Are you in a band?
I'm not.
You're really working at a mic like a musician.
I'm getting a real Two Princes vibe watching you.
So go ahead now.
You got another one?
Star Wars Episode 2, Revenge of the Sith.
Okay.
Oh, people don't like it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You do have them mixed up, I think.
Star Wars Episode 3, Revenge of the Sith.
Nice.
Nice save.
Well, then I'm going to take Star Wars Episode 2,
Attack of the Clones.
Nice.
Coming to America.
Wow, you are deep cut, Johnson.
Holy shit.
All right.
Two princes.
Your lifeline is yourself.
You can go to yourself.
All right.
All right.
If you need it.
Two princes.
I'm out.
Is all you can think of.
Yeah, I'm out.
Dude, you did great.
Thank you so much for being up here.
Don't forget your drink.
Deanna?
I'm iffy on this one.
Oh, iffy.
So many Sam Jackson movies.
Avengers 2, Age of Ultron.
No?
No. No.
What do you guys think?
Yes.
Wow, people are going, eh, and people are saying yes.
That's exactly right?
He's at the farmhouse.
Wait, what happened?
I think I said the title wrong.
Oh, shit.
Because they're arguing about something else over here.
Avengers Age of Ultron.
Avengers Age of Ultron. Avengers Age of Ultron.
Yeah.
And he's in it.
Okay.
The other guys.
Whoa.
I got one more.
Oh!
Aggressive.
I think I'm out.
I'm totally blanking.
I know he's been in a billion things.
Yeah, no, that's how this game works.
We miss a lot of the big ones.
Super obvious. What's your next one, Steven? National Lampoon's
Loaded Weapon 1.
Oh, it's got a 1
at the end? I don't think it does.
Either way, I'm still up here.
I think it's National
Lampoon's Loaded Weapon, but you might
have a one.
Might be like History of the World Part 1.
But, yeah, thank you, Deanna.
Great try.
Now, Stephen, put your microphone down, and it's Stephen Straw, right?
Okay, so I'm going to introduce you with the other two guests. So just go back there behind that crazy bookcase door they have there.
And he's on the other side of it.
He's meeting the other two people.
Did you guys see the other guests walk in tonight?
Okay, so this is going to be a surprise for everybody.
And it's going to be an interesting competition because Steven really killed that game.
Maybe we just picked a guy who just loves Sam Jackson.
He's just like a president.
He runs the I Love Sam Jackson podcast.
It's called One Bad Mother Effer. I Love Sam Jackson podcast.
It's called One Bad Mother Effer.
Alright, so what am I
looking at here? I think I have to...
Oh, here we go.
Please give a warm welcome
to my guests.
Just writing it in to make sure I have it.
Stephen Straw, Kevin Caraft, and Sam the Ma'am Levine,
a.k.a. Lucky Logan.
Logan Lucky. Logan Lucky.
Hey, guys.
Hey, Doug.
Hi, Doug.
Hi, Doug.
Let's meet you individually,
starting with first-time guests on the show.
Say it to me.
Hey, man, my math's not that bad.
Hey, Sam, it's great to have you for the first time.
Thanks, how did the games work?
Yeah.
It's Stephen Straw, everybody.
Hello, hello.
What's going on, dude?
What kind of projects you got going on?
I work multiple jobs.
I'm a trivia host.
I work in the world of professional wrestling.
Like one of your guests, Colt Cabana.
Oh, okay.
I'm not a wrestler, though.
I'm just a manager.
I don't get physically involved in this.
I absolutely have to.
Okay.
Yeah, you seem like you'd be fun for them to throw around a little bit, though.
Yeah, I'm not even going to lie.
I'm not even going to lie.
I actually brought prizes for the gift bag, if you want.
Yeah, I was going to ask you that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, what do you have for the bag?
I was hoping you'd have to pull some cold hard cash out.
No, no, no, no.
It looks like you're prepared with some garbage.
I did.
It is garbage.
But hang on a second.
I'll ask you about it in a second.
We're just going to proceed like a normal show.
You're just going to act like a normal guest.
There we go.
Don't mind me.
And they say wrestling isn't real.
It's real to me, damn it.
All right, Sam, that's the last straw.
I didn't hear that joke a lot when I was a kid.
Oh, my God.
You're already fitting in perfectly
because you're talking when it's not your turn.
Just like all the other comedians.
No, no, don't put the mic down.
Next thing you know, I have to tell you to talk into the microphone.
It's a whole thing.
But I just want to say, before we get into what's in the prize bag,
who the other guests are, starting with...
Kevin Kraft, everybody.
Hello, Doug.
Recent addition to the show,
finally had you on after seeing you around for years
over at the Jason Ellis show on,
now it's called Faction Talk.
Yeah, this week.
Yeah, right. They seem to change the channel name on us a Talk. Yeah, this week. Yeah, right?
They seem to change the channel name on us a lot.
Yeah, well, you know.
I mean, why would Faction Talk stick?
That's not a great name.
Yeah.
Yeah, what does that even fucking mean?
No one knows.
Yeah, there's a faction of people that gather and talk,
and you can listen to it.
Okay.
Yeah, let's go with that.
Like every other station has to do.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
But you can be heard weekdays from...
Noon to three Pacific.
Pacific.
Yes, on channel 103 Series XM, the Jason Ellis Show.
Nice.
Yeah.
And you've actually succeeded in besting one of the other panelists on the show tonight in a previous episode.
Yeah, with a Matt Besser assist, I would say.
Well, tonight you might get an assist from Art.
I mean, Steven, sorry.
I just, I like Art more.
I don't know, what can I say?
What can I say?
I couldn't tell you which one is which in a lineup,
but it just has more of an essence that I like.
But I'm also worried for everybody tonight because I think Steven is really...
He's here to play.
He's not going to fuck around.
I am. Yeah. But also, he's got to play. He's not going to fuck around. I am.
Yeah.
But also,
he's got to contend with
Sam Levine, everybody.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, American Comedy Company.
Doug, even though I'm violently ill,
I wasn't going to let a six-hour traffic ride
from Los Angeles stop me from coming down here.
That's right, give me your sympathies!
It's fine, it's fine.
I'm fine, guys.
And it's nothing contagious, too.
It's feline AIDS.
I'm not sure how I got it.
That's one of the great things about living in San Diego
is you don't have to drive down from Los Angeles.
Because you
just live here. I should just live
here. Yeah. No, I mean,
it's the greatest city. What's the expression?
Finest.
Oh, it's fine
all right.
Oh, that city is fine.
Look at the ass on that
city.
All right.
That's enough of that, you guys.
Yeah.
How dare you, Steven?
My apologies.
All right.
Break it out.
What do you got for the prize bag, dude?
All right.
I'm a bit frightened.
Oh, don't be frightened.
It's all right.
It's going to be intense.
So since I work
in professional wrestling,
these are all things
that I sell
at my merchandise table.
Got a singlet in there?
No, no, no, no.
Is that what they're called?
I wear a full-piece suit.
Oh, look at this fancy ass.
Oh, it's in the front pouch. That's right. Oh, it's in the front pouch.
That's right.
Oh, it's in the front pouch.
Okay.
That's not.
I brought, I brought a little, uh, I work in a group called Everett scat international.
This is our take on Abbey road.
It's me and all the people that are in my group.
I think you dropped your weed, sir.
What's somebody supposed to do with this thing?
No, no, no.
It's an empty bag, but yeah, it's for weed.
I brought a keychain
that my wife made.
I sell those for $4 a piece,
and I brought a duct tape wallet
that I sell for $5.
And that is what I brought
for the gift bag. Yeah, this is some fine craftsmanship right here.
There's actually a spot in it to hold your license and your money.
But I mean, did everybody see the size bag he was holding
when he said he brought stuff for the prize bag?
This shit could have come out of one pocket.
It could have been in your breast pocket
on your flannel.
I carry
everything in my satchel. What can I say?
I do dig the texture of this wallet, though.
If you like it, I got another one in my car I can give to you.
No, I'll just take this one.
Wait, there's two of those that exist?
I'll be honest with you. I've sold
two dozen duct tape wallets for $5.
How many ducts had to die for this?
All right, so Sam's eating, so let's see what Kevin brought.
All right, so you know how they have those Funko Pop figures,
and there's basically one for fucking everything in pop culture?
Yeah, but they have to make a lot of them,
so it's got to be something in pop culture
that's popular enough that they think
it's worth making a lot of them.
Well, where do you stand on Long Duck Dong?
That's a classic.
From 16 Candles.
The trouble with this is that the gong
that comes with it is so expensive.
Like, that's how they get you, is you get the doll,
but, like, you know, every time it appears, you got to hit a gong.
So you have this big, massive gong you have to buy for $3,800.
All right, what else?
I also got a Battlestar Galactica toy, this Cylon bobblehead thingy.
People are into that.
I got a Hateful Eight program from when they showed it in 70mm at the Arclight.
Oh, yeah, the road show version.
Yeah, that's cool.
And then I got some stuff from the Jason Ellis Show.
We got an Ellis Mania 14 shirt, which you were an announcer at.
Great event.
So much fun.
Red Dragon's beer pong set.
Red Dragons shot glass. Wolf
knives patch.
I think that's it. Alright.
Yeah, yeah. You brought everything
you own and I appreciate it.
Yeah.
Put that in there and then I'll
take the whole thing. Alright.
Sam, what do you got? Well, once again, I know you guys are big baseball fans down here in San Diego,
but you're like, I don't really want to wear a Padres hat.
That's okay.
You can wear one that says MLB.com.
Just let people know you're a fan of the sport.
A fan of the sport in general.
Thank you to my friend Melissa Wester for supplying me with that.
And some of Amazon's fine programs that you can stream,
but if you're cheap and you don't have the Amazon Prime,
this is my gift to you.
The entire season of The Man in the High Castle,
as well as the critically acclaimed and wonderfully touching and funny Tig Notaro Show 1 Mississippi.
And I somehow pulled this out of my ass
after Doug mentioned it in the pre-show.
A little film called The Legend of Bagger Vance.
No!
No!
That is correct.
How is that possible?
See the film everyone's talking about.
That is insanity.
The Legend of Bagger Vance.
Well, you know, I love the song over the end credits,
Getting Baggy With It.
Oh, shit, here we go.
Here you go.
Thanks.
All right, so somebody's going home with enough bags
to look like they live on the streets.
It's perfect for around here.
You might as well get some change while you're at it.
I was walking with a...
I went to CVS today and I was walking with a bag
and a homeless gentleman in these parts
walked up to me and went,
hey, CVS, do you got any change?
You think it was a monogrammed bag?
It took me a second to realize he was talking to me.
What an interesting way for a...
You just don't usually get roasted by the homeless.
Maybe he was talking to the bag.
Yeah, maybe
That same guy would walk up to you, Sam, and go
Hey, fuzzy face, you got any money?
That could be anyone in San Diego, Doug
Well, you were walking alone
I know
No, it's fine, guys
I was walking alone, it was fine, guys. I was walking alone.
It was me.
I was deflecting.
All right, I'm going to ask the question
that I ask on almost every show,
starting with you, Kevin.
What was the last movie you saw in any format?
I saw Justice League, Doug.
Whoa, what format?
In a theater.
Like a jackass.
70 millimeter?
Oh, fuck, yes.
3D?
It actually was 70 millimeter.
IMAX? D-Box?
70 millimeter.
Fartface?
What?
I'm going to the fartface screening next week.
You went 70 millimeter?
70 millimeter for a film that's like 80% CGI.
At the Arclight in Hollywood?
Yes.
I didn't like that the villain was a CGI dude.
I was over that.
Yeah, it was Mance Rayder from
Game of Thrones that was playing that guy.
What did you think of the movie overall?
No spoilers.
I went in expecting...
I know people are dying to go be disappointed by it.
I went in expecting it to be
just a pile of diarrhea.
And I'd say it was maybe...
Which is quite an accomplishment, because I don't know about you,
but when you try to stack diarrhea,
it just goes everywhere.
So just the fact that they accomplished that,
they should get some kudos.
The candy bar that looks like
frozen diarrhea.
Candy bar.
It was a solid turd.
You got through it okay?
Yeah.
It wasn't Suicide Squad.
It wasn't Batman v Superman.
It wasn't Man of Steel.
Made you more hopeful for the next one?
Yeah.
I mean, there was a lot more action in it.
It wasn't just fucking moping and boring dialogue. It was ridiculous and stupid, but there was a lot of fighting in it It wasn't just fucking moping And boring dialogue
It was ridiculous and stupid
But there was a lot of fighting which was cool
So yeah make of that what you will
I don't know
Yeah that's a real no one knows what to do with their lives
Now after hearing that
If you want to see like Batman
And Wonder Woman do stuff
It might be worth your time
Yeah Wonder Woman's stuff. It might be worth your time.
Yeah, Wonder Woman's cool. I like her.
Yeah, she's
cool in it. Stephen?
Last night, I watched
Demolition Man.
Did you
sense that you were going to be here tonight
and needed something to brag about?
No.
No, I was a little high
and was scrolling through
one of my streaming services
and went, oh, Demolition Man.
I haven't seen this one
in a couple years.
Yeah, let's watch
a long Taco Bell commercial.
Yeah, get serenaded by Dan Cortez.
Yeah, the trouble with that movie
and me
is I get really high and then I eat all my soap.
Very specific reference from Demolition Man.
Rob Schneider's the comic relief in that.
Did he make you laugh?
Not really.
Wesley Snipes makes me laugh more than Rob Schneider does.
Oh, yeah, Wesley Snipes is weird.
That last fight scene they have at the end just sort of seems like, I don't know, a little anticlimactic.
Yeah.
Because he's so scary through the whole movie.
And then when he fights Demolition Man, it's like, no, not that big of a deal.
The way he says, teddy bear.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you have anything else you want to say?
Yes, I do.
Teddy bear.
Teddy bear.
How did you know the passcode?
I have no idea.
Income taxes.
Sam, what was the last movie you saw?
I saw Lady Bird this week.
Oh, delightful.
Yeah, the Greta Gerwig.
Is that playing in cinemas in San Diego yet?
Yes.
Okay, good.
I cannot recommend it strongly enough.
It's crazy good, isn't it?
It's a very entertaining film.
Laurie Metcalf sort of seems to have Best Supporting Actress sewn up.
Nomination guaranteed.
Yeah, yeah.
Same with Zorscha Ronan.
Yes.
Zorscha Ronan.
Zorscha. Zorscha Ronan. Zorscha Ronan. Yes. Zorscha Ronan. Zorscha.
Zarscha Ronan.
Zorscha Ronan.
I think that's how you pronounce it.
She has been amazing in all the movies she's been in,
but this is the best yet.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I really liked her in Atonement,
which was the first thing from ten years ago.
But we've really...
Did she get a nomination for that?
I think she might have. I think she might
have, too. I think she might have, too.
Yeah, no, she's phenomenal,
and she's Irish, and... Right.
Plays an American girl. And she plays an American girl. Beautifully.
So beautifully, it
almost makes me upset that, like, this
Irish girl is doing
a better job at the English language than most
of us are. Right.
A friend of the show, Jacob Searoff, who's a
very surly sort of dude,
he said that the last half
hour of that movie, he cried the entire time.
Okay. Yeah, right?
I was like, okay, pussy,
but... Yeah.
I think maybe he had his own stuff going on. But that still
shows some of the power of that movie.
It is very moving, absolutely. It's very well done.
Yeah. But Jacob also did, absolutely. It's very well done, yeah. Yeah.
But Jacob also did, like, Phantom Menace.
No, I know.
But I hope he didn't cry during it.
Oh, and before Twitter comes after me, I meant American English.
Because, yes, Irish people also speak technically English.
I don't want to get too... Sorry.
I have a fever.
Wow, you're really...
Yeah, you're really...
Getting ahead of the trolls there. Going out to the... You're really getting ahead of the trolls there.
You're really worried about the Irish
coming at you.
Aren't they a little drunk to even care?
A little too drunk?
See, they're going to come
after me now. That's why I'm not saying anything.
The fighting Irish.
Alright.
Turn off the show, Bert.
Let the games begin!
Gentlemen!
Name tags!
A plenty!
Go ahead and pick.
You've heard about this maybe a lot of times,
maybe seen it in person, Stephen.
But tonight you get to pick a name tag.
And do not pick your own name tag, Stephen.
And while you go look for it.
Oh, shark!
Oh, wow. That was so fast that, like, now we have to go to commercials anyway,
even though all the name tags have already been chosen.
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Back to the show.
We're back.
That was so fast. That really speaks to how important it is to be sitting up front.
For future attendees of the show, if you want a better shot.
Of course, I already took the joint off of the shart poster.
But why don't you take it, Kevin?
Well, I'm currently holding in a shart.
Do you like...
Just for good luck.
There's two Butterfingers and two Reese's.
What kind of Reese's is it?
It's crunchy.
Reese's Crunchy.
Do you like those?
Yes.
Okay.
So all of those are yours to keep.
Fuck yeah Yeah
But you should probably give the rest of it back
Because that's a great poster
And probably wants to, you know
Yeah, and it's
Burn it or something
It's going to take up too much space in my apartment
Yeah, there you go
I will give this back to you, Shart
Alright
That's a pledge to you, Shart. Alright. That's a pledge to you, Shart.
Go ahead now.
I picked Matt Ilda.
Yeah, I like the Matt Ilda.
We talked about it earlier. His face is super creepy. It's really, yeah, it's a
really interesting
face on there.
I hope this haunts all of your dreams
tonight. Oh, no, not
before Thanksgiving.
Matilda's
even got like an empty plate in front of them.
No, it's a little raspberry.
Oh, a raspberry tart, but what is it
behind that plate, or is it hovering?
Yeah, because she's... Matilda can make
things move with her mind. Only tarts.
Yeah.
And only like
a quarter of an inch
off of a table.
Sam!
Well,
this would be
Guard Ryan's
of the Galaxy
and
this is
This is beautiful.
Incredibly well done.
Yeah.
And also he tweeted this
at you and tagged me
in it earlier today.
So, you know, that's going to sell me big time.
You, as Gamora, looks like one of the worst magicians of all time.
You are not wrong, but I must say, my ass has never looked that good.
And never will again.
And I'm considering dyeing myself green now.
Yeah, no, it's a really good look.
That hair especially.
It looks like you have
Cat Williams hair.
Yeah, we gotta get a close-up shot of that
and put that on the internet.
I think I tweeted around
the whole poster,
but just your face and that hair is pretty fucking
precious. Done and done. Alright,
so that's who you guys are playing for.
I've devised
a few games for us to go through here.
And
looks like we're doing pretty good on time.
Has anybody got a turkey in the
oven or some shit?
What? You got a turkey in the oven or some shit?
What?
You got a turkey in the freezer?
You got to pull that shit out if you want to eat it tomorrow.
That's a hard thing to say and sound smart.
I've got a turkey in the freezer.
All right.
Let's start with a game called Characters Welcome.
Oh.
I am going to list off some character names that are in a film,
one specific film that all of these character names are in,
and the first person on this stage, you can guess as often as you like,
first person to correctly name the movie wins this game.
Pre-guessing allowed?
Let's have a pre-guess.
Planes, trains, and automobiles.
I like where your head's at because that's a Thanksgiving movie.
Well.
Yeah.
I tried.
It's kind of a sneaky Thanksgiving movie.
It is.
Because he's trying to get home for Thanksgiving.
Right.
But there's no Thanksgiving scenes.
That's true.
Yeah.
Spoiler.
He has a hard time getting home.
Yeah.
All right.
Any other pre-guesses?
Hook.
God damn you I'm just glad the crowd didn't go into the chant this time
it's too late now
Kevin you got a pre-guess
short circuit 2 wait is that the whole title Too late now. Kevin, you got a pre-guess? Short Circuit 2.
Oh, that's a...
Wait, is that the whole title?
Yes, it is.
Or is it more words?
No, just Short Circuit 2.
All right.
Yeah, I don't think they gave that one a...
Back in the day where they didn't insist on having more words.
Yeah.
Although it's different all...
You know, it's crazy.
The full title thing really throws people.
All right, here we go.
Don Corleone.
The Godfather.
No. The Godfather Part 2.
No.
Beauty and the Beast.
No. The Godfather Part 3.
No.
G. Gordon Liddy.
Oh.
Mafia.
Harry Truman.
JFK.
Igor Stravinsky.
Hoffa.
This is going to give it away for some of you.
Happy feature.
Keep it in.
Good guess, but no.
Ted Nugent.
Kentucky Fried Movie.
Babar.
As in Babar the elephant
Hugo
this is interesting
I don't think I've seen this film
because the last name I have on this list
is Fletch
Fletch
Fletch lives
that was so close which one of you did you think it was I'll give it to you Fletch lives.
That was so close.
Which one of you do you think it was?
I'll give it to you.
All right.
Steven wins that game.
Yeah, someone on Twitter suggested to me that it would be throw everybody for a loop
if I used all of Fletch's aliases from a movie.
Yeah, they were right.
Those aren't really character names.
I thought Ted Nugent was really going to give it away.
Well, all of these characters, I just kept saying
over and over again in the setup, these character
names in the movie.
Yeah, yeah, but I didn't want to say
aliases because then it's like, well, of course,
it's Fletch. He's one of the only people
that has a ton of aliases.
So Stephen wins that one
and Stephen gets to go first
and then Sam, you'll go second since you were
right there. And then
Kevin, for a little round,
a few rounds of whose tagline
is it anyway?
Stephen, what movie
is this tagline from
we'll do it
every year
until we get it right
and it's not fuck palace 73
And it's not Fuck Palace 73.
We're going to do it until we get it right.
Yeah.
Christmas with the Cranks.
That is a great guess because you know what time of year it is.
Sam. Home for the Holidays. That is correct. you'd know what time of year it is. Sam?
Home for the holidays.
That is correct.
Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
All right, you're going to start us off
for the next one, Kevin.
What movie has the tagline
Pack in the laughter? Kevin. What movie has the tagline pack in
the laughter
with an exclamation
point. Pack in the
laughter.
Pack it in.
Does it help you think if I'm yelling?
Pack it. Yes. Keep I'm yelling? Pack it!
Yes, keep yelling, please Pack!
Boo, a Madea Christmas
Ooh
She hasn't
Wait
It took me a second too
Boo, Madea's War on Christmas It took me a second, too.
Boo, Medea's War on Christmas.
Nope.
Steven?
Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag.
Pack in the laughter!
Sam?
Unaccompanied Minors.
No. It was all right under your noses. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
I pre-guessed
one game too soon.
Alright, so where are we now?
We're back to Steven.
And this movie's
tagline is
She's the one in every family
Sweet home Alabama
Okay
What time of year does that movie take place?
I have no idea.
Clearly.
Sam?
Well, I can't think of anyone.
I know this isn't right, but it does fit.
Black Sheep?
She's the one in every family?
Yeah.
Black Sheep?
It's Chris Farley and David Spain.
On paper it fits, but in reality it's very wrong.
Yeah, I don't know if it fits anywhere.
I got fever brain, man.
I'm breaking out into a sweat over here.
Oh, God.
Kevin. Oh, God. Kevin.
Oh, man.
I feel like I should have saved my
Madea gag answer
for this one.
But I also don't know
the true name of any Madea movies.
So I'll take a...
There's Social Madea.
There's social media.
There's... There's Jew-run media.
What was that?
What's the new expression they use now, though,
instead of saying that?
Instead of saying Jew-run media,
they just say liberal-run media?
Yeah, the mainstream media, the liberal media.
Lamestream.
The lamestream, sure.
Yeah, everybody knows it's the Jews.
Why hide it?
I don't know.
Ho, ho, ho, a Madea Christmas pie?
I like your enthusiasm for having to answer something.
But the answer to this one, guys, is a Thanksgiving classic called Pieces of April.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
The one in every family.
All right.
Hopefully this one will make it easier on you guys.
Steven, escape or die frying?
Shut up.
I mean,
please don't say things.
Hang on, I heard what that guy said,
but I'm not going to do it.
You got to do it if you heard what he said.
Why would you guess something else?
He said the right answer.
I don't know.
Chicken run?
Chicken run is right.
It's a bummer I knew that one even before that guy shouted it out.
I like how people clapped anyway.
But yeah, please don't.
That was an easy one.
Good job.
So yeah, if you know it in the audience,
please don't yell it out.
All right.
Where are we at?
Sam.
Sam, Sam, Sam. Sam's got a point.
Stephen's got a point.
Hi, Kevin.
What's up, Doug?
Sam.
For a hundred thousand people,
Monday
may never come.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Monday may never come.
Whoa.
For 100,000 people,
Monday may never come.
That's like the bleakest Christmas movie ever. Shh.
Shh. The Towering Inferno.
Oh.
That would be a really big building.
It was at the NASCAR thing.
That was the remake.
No.
I don't know.
Steven?
I don't know.
I mean, sorry, Kevin.
Yeah, I don't know.
Volcano?
I think a lot of people die from those.
Volcano.
No.
Steven.
San Andreas?
Bring It Home.
Oh, no.
There was a movie once upon a time
that was about flying the Goodyear blimp
over a football game.
Oh, no, Black Sunday!
They call it Black Sunday, yes.
Black Sunday.
Oh, man.
Because I'm looking forward to, you know,
this weekend, Black Sunday.
It's when we all go shopping.
Sure.
No?
Sure.
Oh, man, Robert Shaw.
I really blew it on that one.
I should have gotten that.
He's great.
We got a tie.
All right.
Yeah, between Sam and Steven,
we're going to settle it
with one more tagline.
Okay.
First person to answer correctly wins. Guess as often as you'dline. Okay. First person to answer correctly wins.
Guess as often as you'd like.
Okay.
What movie has the tagline
creepier,
kookier,
Adam's Family Values,
spookier,
Adam's Family,
ookier,
The Adam's Family,
Hotel Transylvania,
Adam's Family Values, Hotel Transylvania? Addams Family Values.
Hotel Transylvania 2.
You're going so fast, I have not had a chance to just say
Addams Family Values is correct.
Thank you!
Thank you!
And to that guy who yelled out Titanic from the audience,
women and children first.
All right, so Sam, you get to go first.
In our game-deciding game.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, this is for all that stuff.
Oh, boy.
Yeah. Table- for all that stuff. Oh, boy. Yeah.
Table, oh, crap.
It's going to somebody.
Who are you playing for again?
I'm playing for Guard Ryans of the Galaxy.
Ryan.
Okay.
Very good.
You're going to go first in Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game.
Oh.
Yeah. Okay. Everybody gets aed for Inflation Bureau game. Oh. Yeah.
Okay.
Everybody gets a chance to go first in this game, but you're first first.
Okay.
I'll name an actor or actress.
You name a movie you think might be in their top three of all time.
Adjusted for Inflation.
Adjusted for Infl Adjusted for inflation.
Got it.
Please say Vivian Leigh.
By box office mojo.
Please don't say the name that Sam just said.
Yeah, well, yeah,
because he would take Gone with the Wind
and you'd be fucked.
Because that's the biggest movie of all time still
after Adjusting for Inflation, I think.
I think so, too.
I haven't checked it lately.
You saw Roscoe. Yeah.
Yeah.
Alright.
Oh, I gotta write in Stephen's name here.
Make it official.
Okay.
Sam. Don't worry, it's Feline Age.
We go Sam, Stephen, and then
Kevin. Sam, you go
first.
The films of Katie Holmes.
What indeed?
What do you want to go with, Sam?
I am going to go with Batman Begins.
Okay.
People like it.
Steven?
I am going to say The Gift.
Okay.
Kevin?
Well, shit.
I think those are the only two Katie Holmes movies I know.
For reals?
I'll give you a hint.
You never saw Dawson's Creek the movie?
We literally mentioned another one earlier.
Yeah, yes.
Probably her most recent one, Lucky Logan.
Logan Lucky?
Logan Lucky, okay.
She's in that one, right?
Yeah.
That wasn't the one I was referring to.
We mentioned Pieces of April, but that was a small movie.
Oh, she's in that small movie. All right.
Oh, she's in that stupid movie?
Here we go.
The results are in
because I've written them down
ahead of time.
Coming in at number three,
Phone Booth.
Joel Schumacher.
Phone Booth
with Colin Farrell
in a phone booth.
That made money?
Yeah, well,
I mean, you know, it's top
three for Katie Holmes.
Everybody's second
favorite former Tom Cruise wife.
Maybe third. maybe three There's some people out there that still know who Mimi Rogers is
I was about to say, I'm more a Mimi Rogers guy
I've played poker with Mimi Rogers
Coming in at number two, you guys missed this one
Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill, the Thanksgiving Adam Sandler classic.
And then coming in at number one,
worth three points to Mr. Sam Levine,
is, of course, Batman Begins. Yes.
I'm so glad I wasn't half-baked.
All right.
Next round starts with Stephen.
Oh, this is interesting.
The films of Adam Sandler.
Oh, wow.
Settle down.
It's the holidays.
Jeez.
I am going to say Hotel Transylvania 2.
Oh.
Look at you.
Kevin?
I'll go with Grown Ups.
Growing Ups.
Yeah.
I was going to say Grown Ups.
Sam?
Everybody out there's got an idea what it might be.
Not everybody.
Not everybody.
Some people are like, I don't know.
But a lot of people have strong opinions.
That they do.
What are you going to come up with, Sam?
I mean, this movie was very successful.
Adjusted for inflation.
Yeah, it was the late 90s.
I'm going to say Big Daddy.
Big Daddy is what you're going with.
Guys, that movie made a lot of money.
All right.
It might not be in the top three, but I bet Adjusted for Inflation, it made over a billion dollars.
Well, I've just been handed the results.
Alright.
What do they say, doctor?
Oh, it doesn't look good.
It's feline
AIDS.
Coming in at number
three, the longest
yard. Oh, shit.
Wow, really?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
That made some money.
I mean, they remade a classic movie, and I thought they did a good job.
Number two, two more points for Sam.
Big Daddy!
Thank you very much.
And number one.
Now, if you had a chance to take your answers back, gentlemen,
and say another movie,
what would you switch it to, just for fun?
Doesn't count, right?
Yeah, the answers you gave me are not the answer.
Well, then I would say Grown Ups 2.
I would say Hotel Transylvania.
2.
Smart. You guys are smart.
Oh, shit.
You guys are really good at switching it up to the other movie in the series.
That's what we did. We said Grown Ups 2, then said Grown Ups 7. I think Transylvania 2
made more than one and Grown Ups 1
made more than two but I'm not positive
but I can tell you this
the number one Adam Sandler movie
The Waterboy
The motherfucking
Waterboy
yeah that movie was huge.
You guys gotta understand, in the late 90s,
Adam Sandler was like Tom fucking Hanks
when it came to box office.
That really upsets my medulla oblongata.
Well done, sir.
Your medulla obugada is sad?
Yeah, that I didn't get that right.
Aw.
Yeah, I don't know if I would have thought of it
if I was in your position.
All right, Kevin, you get to go first.
Sweet.
Yeah.
Sam is running away with this thing.
So I really need you to focus.
How many points are we playing to?
It's not a...
We have a number of rounds we're going to play.
I've got three and a tiebreaker.
Gotcha.
Okay.
Time permitting, I might just fucking throw it out and not call it a tiebreaker and just do a fourth round.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Yeah.
If either one of you can even remotely catch up to Sam
to make this interesting.
Let's make this a horse race.
Hoo-ha!
The films of Al Pacino.
Oh, Pacino
One of the stars of Jack and Jill
Thanksgiving classic
Okay
I'm glad you made that joke
Because I was actually going to make that my real answer
No, you shouldn't do that
Al Pacino, you say
Let me just say this Just get it out of the way Jack and that. Al Pacino, you say. Let me just say this, just to get it out of the way.
Jack and Jill on Al Pacino's top movies is number 16.
It's number two for Katie Holmes.
And Al Pacino has 15 movies that made more than
I think Jack and Jill made like 90 million dollars.
It made an ungodly
amount of money for how awful it was.
It did alright.
Godfather 2?
Is that your answer?
Sure, why not?
I will say The Godfather.
Okay.
Scarface.
Oh no.
I don't know what that reaction was.
Oh.
Are you, like, mad at Scarface?
Or Steven?
Steven's attitude about Scarface.
Coming in at number nine.
Wah!
Scent of a woman.
Takes place on
Thanksgiving.
That's true.
I hope to drive around in a fast
car downtown with a blind person tomorrow
to celebrate
Thanksgiving. Scent of a woman
style. We'll pull you over.
Here's Ron Eldard,
also the original voice on the phone
in Phone Booth before he got replaced
by Kiefer Sutherland.
That's why you bring me on the show, folks.
He doesn't get points, does he?
No, he doesn't.
I don't know what that outburst was about.
I'm just doling out a little fun movie trivia.
That's all.
Ron Eldard.
That's where you lost me.
I was just like, holy shit, Ron Eldard.
Yeah.
All right.
Number three, Dick Tracy.
Ooh.
Wow.
Mumbles, that was Dustin Hoffman.
Yeah.
Or did he yell at Mumbles a lot?
That's why you said that.
Mumbles!
You gotta help out, Mumbles.
What was his character in that?
Big Daddy or something like that?
Big Boy.
Big Boy.
Because Mumbles ends up saying, Big Boy did it. Big Boy did it. Big Boy. Because Mumbles ends up saying Big Boy did it.
Big Boy did it.
Big Boy did it.
That's what Mumbles says.
Why did they call Mumbles Rain Man?
Big Boy did it.
Exactly.
Good impression.
Thank you.
Number two.
The Godfather Part Two.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Yeah. You know shit. Yeah, you know
where this is headed.
Number one, the
Godfather!
Godfather!
Sam has all the points.
Kevin's not even close enough to catch up on this next round.
But it'll still be fun to do it, I think.
Starting with...
Did somebody go, no!
No!
Tipsy Crow's late happy hour ends at 9
well you're 16 minutes late sir
sorry
I love Tipsy Crow
alright what's happening
so Sam you'll start us off
just for fun we'll play this extra round
the films of David Spade
who of course off just for fun. We'll play this extra round. The films of David Spade.
Who of course was also featured in Jack and Jill.
Just to help you out.
That one came in at number seven.
Thank you. Thank you so much for that.
That's a tough one.
Use your microphone voice.
Sorry. Sorry.
All right, adjusting for inflation.
I'll say Tommy Boy.
Oh.
Me?
Yes, Steven.
Hotel Transylvania. You're getting the eye, Steven. You're getting the eye, Steven.
You're getting the eye.
What did I just say a while ago
about Hotel Transylvania 1 and 2?
You said that 1 made more than 2.
No.
I said Grown Ups 1 made more than Grown Ups 2.
Oh.
Hotel Transylvania 2.
Kevin?
Does the streaming service Crackle count towards box office?
Can I throw out a Joe Dirt 2?
Wait, we've already been discussing how grown-ups...
I know, yeah, grown-ups.
And that's Joe Dirtay, you dick.
Okay, so seven was Jack and Jill.
Six, The Emperor's New Groove.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah., Grown Ups 2
Four, Hotel Transylvania 2
Three, Hotel Transylvania 2
I fucked that up
Four is Hotel Transylvania
Then
You get what I'm saying
Two, the first grown-ups
And number one
The Rugrats movie
Who the fuck does he play? movie?
Who the fuck does he play in that?
Is he fucking Baby
Dill?
Wait, you know that movie well enough
to be
to be like, wait a second.
No, I know the characters of Rugrats.
Why are you doing that?
I'm sure it was a tiny,
I mean, it was a rugrat-sized part.
I'm sure it was the voice of a small person.
Yeah, I don't know how big his part is.
It might be brief.
Yeah, it might be super brief.
But it didn't matter anyway
because Sam won this thing fair and square.
Oh, thank you.
So, yeah.
So where is Ryan?
Guard Ryan's of the galaxy.
Here's all your stuff, dude.
Oh, he's going to get it later.
I like that attitude.
If anybody wants to run up and pick things out of it.
I'm gonna fight Ryan for it.
Congratulations. What part of town are you from?
Right by SDSU.
That part of town doesn't have a name?
You just have to be in the shadows of the college?
doesn't have a name. You just have to be in the shadows of the college.
We're in nightly
sobriety
checkville.
He's your right?
That wasn't my point.
Just saying you live right near
a party school.
He had you. I'm going to be smoking.
He's going to be smoking.
He and I are going to smoke on the sidewalk.
The sidewalks of downtown San Diego.
I love that Springsteen song.
Are you finished with your food yet?
I finally am, yeah.
You've been eating the entire show.
I'm not trying to stretch right now to reach a certain length.
I'm just trying to make sure you're finished with your meal.
I'm done. Thank you, Doug.
What did you have?
The chicken tenders.
Chicken tenders?
Yeah. And they were extra special. They took almost an hour to cook. What's you have? The chicken tenders Chicken tenders? Yeah
And they were extra special
They took almost an hour to cook
What's your sauce?
What kind of sauce you go for?
There was just ketchup and ranch here
I ate them plain
You didn't do either of them?
Not really
Okay
I always ask for barbecue
Oh, you gotta mix those two
I should have
Yeah
Or just a gun
You know, kill myself I should have. Yeah. Or just a gun. What?
You know, kill myself because I'm waiting around for an hour for chicken strips.
Uh-huh.
You got anything to plug, buddy?
Yeah, let's see.
Kevin Pollak's chat show, we're on almost every Sunday.
New episodes drop every Tuesday. We just had Ricky Gervais on the show.
I'm interested to see
some of his work.
I hear he's good.
That's on iTunes and YouTube.
A little cross promotion.
If you're a movie trivia fan,
and I assume you are,
check out the movie trivia
Schmodown from the gang
over at Collider.
They're on YouTube as well.
Just Google movie trivia Schmodown
and there's some fun movie trivia stuff there.
Here's some fun movie trivia.
Ricky Gervais plays a dentist in a movie
where he's friends with a ghost.
Yes.
Ghost town.
Yeah, I was being silly.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's Greg Kinnear's finest work.
Greg Kinnear is good in that.
He is good in that.
Oh, future upcoming guest on the chat show, Greg Kinnear.
Oh!
There you go.
Are you guys going to talk soup?
No, we're just going to talk later.
Okay, Little Miss Sunshine.
Oh.
Steven Straw.
That's me.
Great first-time guest on the show
Thank you
Awesome competitor
You gave it your all
But you know Sam is here
I know
He doesn't have a shit on his thing
I looked at him as soon as I saw
I picked out
You're going to have to put shithead
Because I'm planning to get Sam
Do we not have a shithead because I'm playing against Sam. Oh, so do we not
have a shithead? No, he'll have to tell you.
Whose name tag
was it? Matt to Ilda.
I don't know the rules.
No, you tell him the shit. Did she make the name
tag for you?
Is that what happened?
I don't know. He said he didn't know the rules.
Why would you make a name tag if you didn't even know the rules?
You know what I mean?
Okay. You don't listen to it either?
Oh.
You listen, but you don't understand it.
He skips the rules part.
Skip the rules part?
How does that happen?
Yeah, go ahead. Write it down. Write down somebody
for me to call a shithead.
It doesn't have to be you. You don't have to write down your own name.
That's sad.
Right, right.
Even now, they still don't understand.
Pick somebody.
Yeah, that is not in the rules.
Some people fall asleep before the end part,
so they don't hear the shitheads.
Oh, this is a great one.
Oh, you're just grabbing other people's name tags?
I don't even know how to pronounce this asshole's name,
but I agree with you on that one.
I'll throw it in there.
He is an asshole.
Yeah, right?
Absolutely.
That guy's bad.
All right, so we're good?
German of the FCC.
Yeah, yeah, that's another name for him.
I'll try to say his actual name, though,
because people could tweet at him and yell at him.
Is it cool if I throw out my Twitter handle real quick?
Yeah.
Oh, please, please give me a follow.
I need a lot of followers to open up a...
Wait, wait, wait.
You said, can I throw out my handle?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not, can I beg?
Well, I'm just saying I need followers.
Just throw it out there.
They're going to follow you, man.
People are into you.
Everett Scott SCP.
Okay, that's too much.
No one's going to bother with all that nonsense.
That is both my Twitter and Instagram.
Is Everett Scott, is that the doctor in Rocky Horror Picture Show?
It absolutely is the doctor in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
That is also my wrestling persona, Everett Scott.
Are you in a wheelchair?
I am not.
Finally, a walking Everett Scott.
That's a great gimmick.
I didn't like that about the character
that he's in a wheelchair.
Now that he's walking, I'm into it.
I want to see competitive wheelchair wrestling now.
Murder ball.
Oh, all right.
Kind of like that.
They don't wrestle, though.
Wrestling would just be pulling each other out of the chair
and then just flapping around.
All right.
Okay, Kevin Craft, what do you got going on, man?
If you have SiriusXM, you can listen to the Jason Ellis Show weekdays,
noon to 3 Pacific on Channel 103.
And I also host my own podcast on the Riotcast Network
called Mad Scientist Party Hour.
Nice.
And that is all I have.
Yeah, and, you know and come to Ellis Mania.
I assume there's going to be another one in Vegas next fall.
Yeah, they are, as you saw firsthand, quite entertaining.
It's so much fun.
People, like six people in the ring at the same time
wearing blindfolds and shock collars,
blindly beating the shit out of each other for about 12 minutes.
Yeah, we should say Ellis Mania is like a series of fights
that are just engineered to be just entertaining to watch
because they don't make any fucking sense.
And it's hilarious.
And there's one fight where everyone in the audience,
they give you a bunch of rubber balls,
and you just get to throw them at the people
while they're trying to fight each other.
It's so, so much fun.
About five years ago,
Nick Swardson fought our old co-host
who doesn't know how to throw punches.
He throws double punches like a kangaroo.
Yeah.
So Nick won?
Yes.
Spoiler.
Yeah, yeah.
He was very proud of himself. Is there footage of that on the internet there is yeah if you just search ellis mania on youtube there's tons i'd love to see
that yeah they're very entertaining all right uh that's it i guess uh american comedy company
thank you for uh having us again and thank you everybody for being here, and we're back here the day after Christmas,
December 26th, and
yeah, I'm going to cook up another
strong lineup, because I know you guys like
a serious competition,
and probably get
Jacob Sieriff to come down.
Yeah, yeah. That'll be cool.
One more time for all of my
guests, Sam Levine,
Stephen Straw, and Kevin Kraft, One more time for all of my guests Sam Levine Steven Straw
And Kevin Kraft
As always
Ajit Pai
And the FCC
And the EA
And Prairie Dogs
And Asperger's And it's not spelled like and the EA and Prairie Dogs and ass burgers.
And it's not spelled like this.
It's ass space burgers.
They're disgusting.
Constipation is a shit.
Inconsistent line management
for seating at the comedy club
is a shitithead.
This person put a lot of
shitheads.
This isn't a therapy session.
And this other one though, this is the last one.
This one's right to the point.
Ray Moore is a shithead.
Roy.
Now it's time for Doug
to watch another talkie
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies