Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine, "Mark Wahlberg," and Chris Mancini Guest

Episode Date: February 11, 2014

Doug welcomes Samm "The Ma'am" Levine aka lil Wolverine, Chris Mancini, and returning Leonard Maltin winner "Mark Wahlberg" to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Cal...ifornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby cities He's with 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey everybody! Hey everybody. Hey. Everybody. Hey everybody Hey Everybody My name is Doug and I love movies
Starting point is 00:00:30 And this is Doug Loves Movies Coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday February 11th 2014 Wolf of Wall Street Fight Terminator 2 Judgment Day of the Dead Man Walking. No show, no show here next Tuesday
Starting point is 00:00:51 because I'll be doing the second Getting Doug with High live at Largo on La Cienega. Five great guests all getting Doug on stage and streaming live. Largo-LA.com for tickets. Use the discount code GETDUCK. Jacksonville, Florida, I want the Comedy Zone tomorrow night, so probably tonight or last night, depending on when you listen to this. Could be a few weeks ago. But, you know, if you're hearing it in time, come on by.
Starting point is 00:01:23 And Monday, after the Weezer cruise, also jump on that if you want to, I'm doing an interruption of Point Break at the Sunray Cinemas at 420 on President's Day. Point Break, President's Day, get it? State of Denver, Colorado, yeah! State of Denver, Colorado. Yeah! I'm doing my second annual Mother's Day show at the Comedy Works at 420 on Mother's Day. Six-finger Tim will be there.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Will you? If he high-fives you, you get 5.5 years of good luck. Because his six-finger is really like half a finger. Now it's time for tweet relief tweets about movies. Our friend Fart Cancer on Twitter
Starting point is 00:02:12 tweeted the new Lego movie just seems pieced together. This has been tweet relief tweets about movies. Prize bags tonight, you guys. There's a lot of shit to unpack,
Starting point is 00:02:29 and I should do most of it with the guests out here, but of course we have a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt, we have a copy of Gateway, Doug. We have some Simpsons items, even though no one involved with the Simpsons is here tonight. And yeah, let's just get my guests out here.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Please welcome returning Lennon-Walton game winner Mark Wahlberg, along with Chris Mancini and Sam the Man Levine, a.k.a. Will Wolverine! Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you. Wow, he won't even touch the mic, Doug. Mark won't even touch his mic. No, well, that's the thing.
Starting point is 00:03:23 I mean, Sam, you're special, but most actors that come on the show, their mic technique is less than stellar. How you guys doing? You doing good? Oh, okay. I know you did a little bit with Andy Samberg where you went on SNL and pretended to be mad, but it was clear you were pretending to be mad,
Starting point is 00:03:44 but I think you're still really mad at that guy. Am I right? He just didn't fucking ask my permission, that's all. You think you're fucking better than me? All he had to do was ask your permission? Fucking give me a heads up, bro. Then I can be like, oh yeah, I was cool with it. But instead I had a fucking gut react,
Starting point is 00:04:00 and my gut react said, I'm gonna fucking kill this thing. But he portrayed you as a really polite, sweet guy that always asks people to say hi to their mother. Yeah, where the fuck is that from? I don't know anybody's mother. From fucking 1996 to 2004,
Starting point is 00:04:17 I didn't even talk to my own mother. Mark Wahlberg is here, ladies and gentlemen. And the dude who's a fan of the show, because I had said that I hadn't experienced the other guys last week, sent me the Blu-ray DVD combo pack. Sent it right here to UCB. So now I have to watch this shit.
Starting point is 00:04:43 I mean, I'm going to watch this. Let's fucking cancel the show. Fire that bitch up. Let's fucking do this. You're going to like it. Can we just play it? I'll talk to Ryan in the booth. Is that cool? No, I'll watch it later. It's got both the theatrical and extended versions. What do you think the extended stuff
Starting point is 00:04:58 is? Like shots of background people walking around and shit. Oh, it's not like alternative lines or takes of the stars of the movie, you and Will Ferrell? No, Will Ferrell and I almost got in a fistfight at craft services, and I think they caught that. But other than that... That's on here, maybe?
Starting point is 00:05:12 I think extended, they mean extended credits. I don't know. I don't get into that business. I just show up, fucking kill it, and leave. All right, well, I'm going to watch it. Whoever wins tonight gets the Blu-ray. I kept the DVD. Because I'm old school like that. I'm all about the quality
Starting point is 00:05:32 of a DVD. Chris Mancini is here, ladies and gentlemen. You know him, of course, from the Comedy Film Nerds podcast with our friend Graham Elwood. What do you do when he starts whistling, Chris? Whistling is forbidden on the Comedy Film Nerds podcast. Oh, we've got to talk later about how I can get that on this show.
Starting point is 00:05:58 Yeah. Because that would be fantastic. And you brought a copy of the book that was spawned by the podcast called The Comedy Film Nerd's Guide to Movies. And yeah, I was looking right at it, so I know what it is. And Myopic Visions, a collection of short films
Starting point is 00:06:16 by award-winning filmmaker Chris Mancini. So yeah. It's been on HBO and the SyFy channel, all the short films they've done. And if you want to see what Paul F. Tompkins, Andy Kindler, and Jay Johnston looked like in the 90s, you can check out some of the short films. Great reason to watch. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:35 I brought a T-shirt from Sketch Fest in San Francisco, which turned 13, and we watched Twilight, New Moon together. And next year we're going to watch Twilight Eclipse. Fucking good, right? Yeah. Well, you're a big Twilight fan? I just fucking think it was badass those kids turned into dogs and shit.
Starting point is 00:07:00 There must have been a movie in your career where you turned into something. Did you ever transform into anything? Most of my movies I just turn into a fucking badass. But, uh... Oh, no, because we talked about this. In The Happening, I turned into a teacher. So what did you bring tonight?
Starting point is 00:07:19 Eight modern plays? Yep. Open it up. Open it up. Okay. I wrote a note on the fucking inscription page. Okay. Who's your favorite playwright? Sam Shepard.
Starting point is 00:07:32 Yeah. Fucking True West, baby. I know my shit. I do like True West, but you wrote inside eight modern plays, none of which you have anything to do with. Good luck. Read this. Fucking to the point, like a punch.
Starting point is 00:07:48 M.W. Wait, what'd you do with what was inside of there? Oh, the receipt? It's not a receipt. Why don't you look at what that is? That is a free complimentary ticket to Lone Survivor. Let's go, people. Let's see this fucking movie. I don't know what I gotta do.
Starting point is 00:08:04 But it's a receipt from General Nutrition Center. It's not a fucking movie. I don't know what I gotta do. But it's a receipt from General Nutrition Center. It is not a fucking GNC receipt, bro. It's some sort of kind of thing they have with Lone Survivor. Right there it says, you qualify for a free movie ticket to Lone Survivor. Yeah. You just bought a power bar. You could survive
Starting point is 00:08:19 in this situation. Now is that good outside of Boston? Oh yeah, that's fucking good anywhere. Magic Johnson time movies. Show place 16. You can walk in there. You just show them, and if they give you shit, be like, fucking we'll handle it after the movie. Sam Levine is here, everybody.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Thank you. You're very sweet. You brought Simpsons swag? I brought some Simpsons swag? I brought some Simpsons swag what do you got here Sam? it's my favorite show and stuff those are Simpsons earbuds of course they are with little duffs
Starting point is 00:08:55 duff beers and then and then I'm so glad just in time for 2014 just in time for 2014 if you had me on any later that thing would be garbage to Simpsons wall calendar for Nate or two judgment day of the dead Just in time for 2014. If you had me on any later, that thing would be garbage. To Simpson's Wall calendar.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Finator to Judgment Day of the Dead. All right. Manwalking. Thank you for bringing that, Sam. Oh, my pleasure. And thank you for bringing the heat tonight, because Mark Wahlberg was an outstanding player last week. I heard.
Starting point is 00:09:20 And I thought... Earmuffs, Mark. I thought... Earmuffs, Mark. I thought... I thought, I can't put up with this week after week, so I gotta bring somebody in. Because I was already worried. What if he brings in a bag full of marked protein bars?
Starting point is 00:09:41 Mark Wahlberg's protein bar is called Marked. Marked. Because you've been marked. You've been fucking tagged with chocolate goodness. Those things are so heavy. Listen to this, you guys. Is that a brick? It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:09:58 It's like a game of fetch. I didn't mean to make you go get it like that. Okay. Put it daintily back on the table. For those who are doubtful, a portion of sales of Marked will benefit the Mark Wahlberg Youth Foundation. This is real.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Yeah, you know what that's called? Not fucking around. That's what that's called. Let me see what happens if I throw one to Jordan. Does he eat it? Does he try it? These are so fucking good, you don't need to eat for two days. Another portion of sales will benefit Mark Wahlberg.
Starting point is 00:10:30 You fucking know it, Chris Metz. Let's give away one more. Who else wants one? Come on. Okay, all right, here you go. Careful! Fucking see that? It's like throwing a cinder block at the audience. Oh, let's fucking throw some.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Excellent Benedict Cumbercatch. That's a good one. All right. Yeah, it was a lot of effort. I'm sweaty. Oh, thank you, Mark. Terrific prize bags As is often the case
Starting point is 00:11:07 Because everyone's super generous And brings really cool stuff So somebody's going to win all of this Who's it going to be gentlemen? Let's pick some name tags What do you say? Let the games begin And we're not talking Sochi
Starting point is 00:11:22 This is the real deal People train pretty Poor showing on name tags Sam Levine says Grin. And we're not talking Sochi. This is the real deal. People train pretty... Poor showing on name tags, Sam Levine says. Before he talks more shit about you guys, we're going to go to a quick commercial break. We'll be right back after this. And we're back. Alright, let's
Starting point is 00:11:39 see who you guys are playing for tonight on this beautiful February Eve. Mr. Wahlberg, you're first. Everybody's ex-girlfriend, Tiffany. You either had sex with or dated a Tiffany, I guarantee it.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Do you still remember all those names you said in that scene with Ted in the movie of the same name? Nope. Okay, that's good. Good answer. you said in that scene with Ted in the movie of the same name? Nope. Okay. Good answer. I'm going to find this shit. Oh, nice. Oh.
Starting point is 00:12:13 Classic smirk. Chris, who are you playing for? King of the surf guitar, Dale. Alright. And Sam? I appear to be playing for Pete. I've seen that one before. Where'd I see that, Pete? At Riot Fest. At Riot Fest here in Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Did Jeff Garlin pick it? No, and it's not Pete. What the fuck? It's Elliot. His name is Elliot. Okay. We went through this before. That's very confusing.
Starting point is 00:12:40 I only picked this because I thought your name was Pete. I thought, I'm on there twice, right? And Graham Elwood's on there once. But I thought one of the versions of me was supposed to be T.J. Miller. The one with the hair and the hat kind of looks like T.J. Miller to me. I picked this because the movie Pete's Dragon, Charlie Callis appears in the movie. And ask your great-grandparents who Charlie Callis was. He played the dragon slayer in the movie, right?
Starting point is 00:13:06 So, yes. And Charlie Callis is also from Fort Lee, New Jersey, my hometown. Oh. What a delightful and... Backstory. Backstory. Makes the characters real. I was gonna...
Starting point is 00:13:22 The rest of my sentence was, who gives a shit? But yeah. Not me. Right there with you, bro. I was going to the rest of my sentence was who gives a shit but yeah not me I like it we have some strong competitors tonight everybody would love to come back in two weeks we'll be back here in two weeks for another exciting
Starting point is 00:13:38 fun over show that would be awesome if I wrote the word show on the next page Doug do you still travel with a clipboard since now they have loosened the
Starting point is 00:13:55 restrictions on small electronic devices that you can keep on during takeoff and landing oh I still don't want to write it on my phone I like having this big piece of paper with everything on it. Gotcha. Yeah, I like it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:07 Thanks for clearing that up. It comforts me. Relax, Steve. Yeah. My phone could die at any minute, but this piece of paper is going to exist from now on. Oh, that's got to be from a movie.
Starting point is 00:14:18 We're basically family. Shit. Poor brother. Fear? Fear. Way to fucking go, bro. That's some fear fear way to fucking go that's from fear we're fucking
Starting point is 00:14:26 doing lines with Mark that's what it's called doing lines with Mark yep fucking doing lines with Mark so let's fucking play the doing lines with Mark if you lose
Starting point is 00:14:40 if you lose tonight next week I want you to just step out on stage every once in a while, or two weeks from now, and just say a line from one of your movies and we have to guess,
Starting point is 00:14:50 and then you just tell us whether we're right or wrong and then walk off again. Would you accept that role? I mean, I know you're a leading man. You know what? Let's pencil it in. Okay. We had you penciled for tonight,
Starting point is 00:15:03 and you made it, so that's exciting. I know, that's what I'm saying. Number two all the way. It could totally happen. All right, let's play the Leonard Maltin game. Of course, you're playing for Tiffany, and I'm going to give you three category choices, Mark, and then we'll go to Chris,
Starting point is 00:15:18 and then we'll go to one of the all-time greats, Sam Levine. I thought Edgar Wright was here. He's pretty good too, but he doesn't get in the game enough. At Jimmy Dime suggested Teen Wolf of Wall Street, and that's
Starting point is 00:15:35 movies where Michael J. Fox plays a financier. At Not Tiernan suggested Anchorman 2, and that's sequels that have scenes on a boat. And at Cockbobber, I'm sorry,
Starting point is 00:15:55 Cock underscore Bobber, suggested Marijuana, and that's movies where Meryl Streep smokes weed. Marijuana. Which is what we should call it from now on. Make it whiter. So people have less reason to be afraid of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:20 And I bet you I'm the only person here who's actually had some marijuana in their fucking mouth. Let's do this. Yeah, I bet you're right. I bet you are right the only person here who's actually had some marijuana in their fucking mouth. Let's do this. Yeah, I bet you're right. I bet you are right about that. Summer 94. One week, me and her. All right, let's go.
Starting point is 00:16:33 You know what I want to do? I want to go on a fucking boat. All right, I'll tell you right now. The answer's not perfect storm, so holster that. Damn it. All right, I'll tell you right now, the answer's not Perfect Storm, so holster that. God damn it. Would you like a movie that was a sequel that also has parts in a boat from 1979 or 1997?
Starting point is 00:17:03 I mean, I already know what it is, so... Let's go with 97, bro. You know what both of them are, or the 97 one? No, just the 97 one. Okay. All right. You guys know. Here we go. Let's see if this helps you in confirming what your suspicions are.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Leonard Maltin calls this movie a bomb. He says it's mind-numbingly stupid. And he also asks at the end, did anyone read the script before signing on for this one? And he lists 12 names. Negative two.
Starting point is 00:17:34 How many? How many? Chris Mancini, what are you going to do with that? That is quite a gauntlet to throw down in the first round. I know. I figure like this. Either way, I got somewhere to be.
Starting point is 00:17:53 I don't feel... By boat? What's that? By boat? I can make it a fucking boat if you want to go. I do. Mark Wahlberg, name that movie. Alright, I just got to know right now.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Do I say the title first? Say the title and the two names in the correct order from top billing to second billing according to Leonard Maltin. And I don't say yes or no to any of it until you've said all of it. Oh, really? Yes, sir. Alright. Name the movie.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Speed 2. Name the top billed person in that movie. Sandra Bull right. Name the movie. Speed 2. Name the top-billed person in that movie. Sandra Bullock. Name the second-billed person. Jason Patrick. Name the actual full title of the film. National Lampoon's Speed 2. Points! You really can't name the whole thing?
Starting point is 00:18:51 That was a fun answer, but... Uh... I mean, I could probably think of something. A drift or something like that. Drift? Yeah, oh, a drift. Hope floats? Oh my God, so fucking good.
Starting point is 00:19:03 Sandra Bullock. Speed 2. Harry Connick Jr. Greatest fucking song Bob Seger ever wrote. Speed 2. The Lake House. No, I just know what a Speed 2 is, so I feel like I did a good job. I think you did a great job, and that's part of the fun of the show,
Starting point is 00:19:17 is that everyone is excited and happy for you, and yet you also lose. We already know how you're going to end this sentence. You also don't get the point. Speed 2. Cruise Control. Everybody knew it. and yet you also lose. We already know how you're going to end this sentence. You also don't get the point. Speed to cruise control. Everybody knew it. Pat Loose does three Willem Dafoe. Yeah, who was the third name?
Starting point is 00:19:33 Number three, Willem Dafoe. And four has got to be who? Glenn Plummer? Of course, he's a shithead. Bill Paxton? Glenn Plummer? Glenn Plummer? No, no. Bill Paxton?
Starting point is 00:19:39 They went with Tamura Morrison, Ben Brian McArdle. Yeah, everybody fucking knows it after I say the title. Christine Frickens, Colleen Kabb, Lois Childs, Jeremy Hotz.
Starting point is 00:19:53 Wow. Comedian Jeremy Hotz. Bo Svetson. Could you please say his full name? Then Glenn Plummer at the Wave. And then, who do you think the last one is,
Starting point is 00:20:00 Sam? Wackiest role in the movie, Comic Relief. Don Knotts? No! Fucking Tim Conway. The next best thing to Don Knotts. The next best thing. It's riveting. Alright!
Starting point is 00:20:15 Chris Mancini has a point, everybody! Which is the name of one of his books about raising children. Chris Mancini has a point. Sam gets to pick a category. Oh boy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:29 And then we go to Chris and then hopefully Mark will be off the phone by the time we get to him he'll be off his call. Is that Sandra Boat?
Starting point is 00:20:36 What's that? That's Sandy. Chris. Sandy Boat. She calls Mark it's Sandy. It's double us guys. Sam would you like
Starting point is 00:20:43 Steven Spiel. What do you want me to say his full fucking name too? No, I want you to pronounce it, I want you to give it the Jewish pronunciation, and it's Spiel. Okay, fair enough. Turn over new leaf. Turn over new leaf.
Starting point is 00:20:57 And that's Joaquin Phoenix movies before his name changed from Leaf to Joaquin. Oh, okay. At Blueberry Johnson suggests, You're in this! And this is films that someone in the panel is in. Ah. One of you guys is in a movie.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Boy, Mark Wahlberg's been in a lot of movies. I know, right? Seems unfairly pitched towards him. Good thing you get to pick. And at Mike underscore Spadafora suggests 2001 A Spacey Odyssey and that's Kevin
Starting point is 00:21:31 Spacey films that came out in 2001. It seems like it should be a gimme but I'll go with the Leaf Phoenix category. All right. Leaf Phoenix from 89 or 96? And both of these would be in the 19s.
Starting point is 00:21:54 I will take 1989. Three and a half stars from him, Leonard. He calls this movie insightful. He also says that it was followed by a TV series. And he names 13 people.
Starting point is 00:22:16 How many can you get it in, Sam? The ma'am. Negative four. The ma'am. N.K.A. Will Wolverine. Oh, I think I'm having a heart attack. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:22:33 That's exciting. Negative four, he says, Chris. Don't let him fucking do it. I mean, you got a point. You'll only be tied up. Yeah, name the movie. All right. The film is Parenthood.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Yep. Thank you, Mark. Thank you, Mark. Fuckin' Noah. Be quiet. Mark, please. Steve Martin, Mary Steenburgen, Diane Weiss, Jason Robards. You're an asshole.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Fuck that, bro. Thank you very much. Oh, shit. I'm fucking baseball bad at that shit. Jesus. Wow. Who would you put after Jason Robards? Rick Moranis.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Rick Moranis, really? Yeah. Because that's correct. Who would you put after him, though? There's no way you can do another one. Harley Jane Kozik. Whoa. She's like, you're like three or four off.
Starting point is 00:23:34 What an idiot. Tom Hulse, Martha Plimpton, Keanu Reeves. Hold on a second. What's up? What's up, Mark? I paid my money and I want a fucking answer. Hold on a sec. I paid my money and I want a fucking answer.
Starting point is 00:23:55 It's correct. Hold on a sec. I pay a hard hug of peace. You fucking nil. Yeah! I'm gonna fall for that shit every time fucking I heart Huckabees me and the Russ who doesn't
Starting point is 00:24:17 you were there when he fought with Clooney you were there when he fought with Lily Tomlin and Hoffman Dustin Hoffman. But you get along with him okay. You're the fighter with him. Yep, you know why? He knows how to fight. Why didn't you put on a stupid beard
Starting point is 00:24:35 and run around in American Hustle? What went wrong there? Whoa, this is a sore spot? No, it's good. I don't like being in Oscar now and any fucking movies. Here's the deal. He was like,
Starting point is 00:24:50 please don't make me put Christian Bale in another fucking movie. Will you please gain the weight? And I said, bro, I'll gain muscle. But I ain't gaining fucking fat.
Starting point is 00:25:03 You know what we call that? Deal breaker. Yeah, he really let himself go. He kind of inspired me to diet more. Yeah. Because I was just like, oof. Making a whole bunch of ugly dudes think they can fuck Amy Adams.
Starting point is 00:25:17 I'll tell you right now, guys. I still buy that part of it. No, don't fucking buy that. Women are pretty nice. Women are cool. No, it was all script. They'll totally fuck dudes that look like that okay
Starting point is 00:25:25 he gave her a bunch of dresses you know what you're right Andy lied to her you gotta keep that self esteem low I don't even know what movie he was
Starting point is 00:25:36 talking about I'm just saying in David O. Russell movies oh oh you didn't know what we were talking about for the last half we didn't know
Starting point is 00:25:43 what we were talking about did you ever get in a fight with David O. Russell on a set? Oh, Chris with the hard hitting shit Yeah, no, I want to know No, because if I'm the EP and in the movie I'll fight anybody But if you have the possibility to go Hey, I think we're going to go another direction
Starting point is 00:26:00 I just walk away Break something And then I come back. Seems like a good system. Yeah, it's fucking great. Just let them cross. Just let them cross. Just let them cross.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Why won't you let them cross? They're gonna fucking kill them. Just let them cross. Oh, you fucking let them cross? They're going to fucking kill them. Just let them cross. Oh, you fucking don't know it. Say the full title, Doug. Do you think you're Gordon Joseph Levin in Dark Knight Rises? No, just let them fucking cross. Because that's what he says.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Just let them cross. They're going to fucking kill them. Just let them cross. Is it Departed? No. Three Kings. It is Three Kings. Yay!
Starting point is 00:26:46 Dude over here said it almost the same time as me. And a little bit before. A little quicker. Yeah, he was a little quicker. He was a little quicker, but I was on it. At Koji Werner,
Starting point is 00:26:59 who's going first this time? Who was left out of that last one? I was. Marky Mark? Oh, shit, I'm sorry. What's that? Nothing. You know what? I called you the wrong name. You're a fan. It's fine. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 00:27:11 We'll start with Mark and then go to Chris. And of course Chris has a point and Sam has a point, Mark. Yeah. At Koji Werner suggested Barton's... Oh, I see what you meant. You don't want to know what?
Starting point is 00:27:27 Huh? Big picture? I'm still winning. Take it how you want it. Let's do this. Koji suggested Barton Stink Barton Stink that's movies
Starting point is 00:27:47 with John Turturro that Leonard Baldwin gave less than two stars at Sintrix Phone S-Y-N-T-R-Y-X Phone
Starting point is 00:27:58 suggested The Nut Job and that's a movie where a woman is dressed as a man The Nut Job and at David K. Ashton Nutjob, and that's a movie where a woman is dressed as a man. The Nutjob.
Starting point is 00:28:10 And at David K. Ashton suggested Full Metal Jacket, and that's movies where robots have sex. A robot has sex in Full Metal Jacket. So we got dudes dressed as ladies, robot sex, and what was that first one? John Turturro, Less Than Two from Leonard.
Starting point is 00:28:27 That dude doesn't make bad movies. Except... Can I ask you, have you seen any of the Transformers films before signing on to be in one? Oh, fuck yeah. The trailers or the full movie? I think Turturro's in both.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Yep. Killing both. Yep. Yeah. Killing it. All right. Did you get to ride a dinosaur in this one? I'm not going to fucking spoil that. I will say this, though.
Starting point is 00:28:55 In person, they don't look the same. Transformers? Yep. Or John Turturro. Or dinosaurs. Or dinosaurs. Or dinosaurs. Which one of those categories would you like, Mark? Let's go Johnny T.
Starting point is 00:29:12 I'm sorry. John Turturro. Okay, yes. I was confused. Would you like a John Turturro movie from 2001 or 2011? You know what? What? Let's make it fun.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Let's go 11. Okay. That's more fun? Yeah, it's a better number. That's more fun than 2001? Yep. One and a half from Leonard. He says this movie...
Starting point is 00:29:39 He asks, where's the fun in all of this? That's not a good review. And he also says, this movie's got Presidents Kennedy, Nixon, and Obama in it. Which is a weird way to describe them. Because it just means money? Because it just means money? I've just never heard it said that way before.
Starting point is 00:30:12 But I guess that makes sense. What do you think? I don't know how many names are there. I'm going to tell you. We've got a whopping... 15 names? I'm going to recheck that. 15.
Starting point is 00:30:33 15 names of Johnny T. A lot of presidents. I'm not in it? You're not allowed to ask that. Okay. I don't think I was. You know what? I'm going to be honest with you. Oh, please.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Give me like eight. Okay. He says eight names, Chris. I have an idea, but I want to hear Mark Wahlberg name that movie. All right. Oh, interesting.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Strategic play. If ever there was one. Sam is just... We all better hope Mark Wahlberg gets this fucking movie. Okay. Why should we all hope for that? It seems like just you need to hope for that. I just hate getting boxed out.
Starting point is 00:31:23 That's why. I hate getting boxed out. Oh, right, right, right. He will fly into a rage and turn into a small dog. Makes the game not fun. I will not. I won't do anything bad. I will walk around.
Starting point is 00:31:34 I will look for the least most important person. I will punch that person. Then I will come back. All right, so you need to do it in eight names? Yeah, I'm going to hear eight names. Yeah. Then we'll see what happens. Leonard Nimoy.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Leonard Nimoy. I just said it differently. It doesn't count as two names. Hugo Weaving. Peter Cullen. Alan Tudyk, the great Tudyks. Ken Jeong, Dr. Ken Jeong in some circles. Julie White.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Kevin Dunn. Patrick Dempsey. Son of a bitch. Those are your names. They're all good looking people. Let me help you out. It's not Grey's Anatomy the movie. Damn it.
Starting point is 00:32:33 What were the last two names? Patrick Dempsey and who? Kevin Dunn. The great Kevin Dunn. Chicago actor. The great Kevin Dunn, Sam added. He and I were in jobs together. He's on True Dicks.
Starting point is 00:32:46 Oh, True Detective, yeah. He and I, we worked the same day on the Steve Jobs movie, even though we had no scene together, as we were hanging out at the trailer camp together. And I was like, hey, Kevin Dunn, can I ask you a weird question? He was like, yeah, what's up? And I went, so you were in that movie Snake Eyes. And he goes, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:01 weird question? He's like, yeah, what's up? And I went, so you were in that movie Snake Eyes? And he goes, yeah. And I go, Gary Sinise's character in that movie plays a guy named Kevin Dunn. That's pretty crazy, right? And he was like, yes, it
Starting point is 00:33:18 was weird, but his character is spelled Dunn differently than I spell it. I'm just trying to buy Wahlberg some fucking time! Wait. You're gay? Kim's a dude?
Starting point is 00:33:36 Huh? Kevin. Wait. You're gay? Kim's a dude? Wait. You're gay? The other guys? Kim's a dude? Oh, Kim's a dude.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Rockstar? It is Rockstar. Nice! Early McNulty in that fucking movie. What's the answer, though? Is it Transformers 2? Dark of the Moon? Why does it...
Starting point is 00:34:11 Transformers 2, Dark Side of the Moon. I feel like we're about to have a semantic argument. You fucking give it to him. It's not an argument, but Sam says give it to you. It's called Transformers, colon, Dark of the Moon. I've got to fucking say colon? No, you don't have to say colon.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Was it the second one, though? No. Wait, have we gone final? Have we gone final? Oh, no, no, you still get to answer. Let me read you the entire review. No, we have a three-way tie, no, no. You still get to answer. Let me read you the entire review. No, we have a three-way tie, ladies and gentlemen.
Starting point is 00:34:50 Because Sam Levine is a good sport. I wouldn't give it to him. If Sam Levine wasn't here, I would not give him the point. Thank you, Sam. You're welcome, Mark. That's part of the fun to me, is these fucking subtitles on all these goddamn movies. Why do they do that? It really makes it a challenge. It's part of the fun to me is these fucking subtitles on all these goddamn movies. Why do they do that?
Starting point is 00:35:05 Really makes it a challenge. It's like the movie was called The Burbs. That's it. It's not called fucking The Burbs killing your neighbors. No, it was in fact, the full title was The Burbs colon. You're fucking with me.
Starting point is 00:35:21 Was it really? One crazy day in America. No. Oh, my God. All right, who goes first? What just happened? Mark got the point. Yeah, but who challenged him?
Starting point is 00:35:32 I did. All right, so Sam is up, and then we go to Chris, and Sam gets a pick from the following categories. We have a three-way tie. Fuck the categories. Oh, it's so exciting. It's time for asparagus pee. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Yeah. The tiebreaker category. Let me explain it to Mark and to Chris. You may not have experienced this. This is where I read you the entire review, tell you everything about it except the cast, and then the bidding begins with Sam Levine, and it becomes a game of how many people that are in this movie can we name.
Starting point is 00:36:07 In order. But every once in a while it becomes a game of one of the panelists is so dumb that they don't even know what movie I'm talking about. Sometimes two. Does the cast have to be named in order on this one? Once you bid negative names, yes. So negative one means the top person negative two
Starting point is 00:36:26 top two etc I got the rock now invincible? no I got the rock now everybody listen up oh Planet of the Apes
Starting point is 00:36:43 no I got the rock now everybody listen up. Oh, Planet of the Apes. No. I got the rock now. Everybody listen up. The happening? Nope, it's right after I punch a dude. Swear to God. I got the rock now.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Everybody listen up. Just because you keep saying it doesn't mean we're going to get it. Pain and gain. Nope. Pain and gain? I got the rock now. Everybody listen up. Jesus, what could you see?
Starting point is 00:37:08 Are you sure it's not Planet of the Apes? Yep. Max Payne? No. I got this right now. Four Brothers? It is Four Brothers. You know it would be Four Brothers or Two Guns.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Or Three Kings. This movie got three and a half stars. From Leonard. Who's going first? I am okay Sam three and a half stars from Leonard the year is 2012
Starting point is 00:37:33 oh that's recent when evil Loki from Asgard threatens the very future of humanity on earth agent Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. summons the Avengers to save the day
Starting point is 00:37:44 but first they have to find a way to get along with each other outstanding comic book movie based on the Marvel characters created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby blah blah blah blah blah title on screen is Marvel's
Starting point is 00:38:00 The Avengers and he lists 19 names. Sam Levine, start us off. Zero names, of course, would be the pussy bid. Negative one.
Starting point is 00:38:23 And you said it's gotta be an R? Seems doable to me Yeah, I'll do negative one He says negative one, Mark Can you name the top two bills? Goes to Chris I know, I really like talking to Mark I have a feeling it's gonna be his last time on the show
Starting point is 00:38:41 What are you gonna do with that, Chris? Let's keep the tension going, negative two He says negative two, Mark. Can you go deeper than two? And at the end of that, you said the title on the screen says, right? Because that was it. Oh, yeah, laugh it up.
Starting point is 00:38:57 Like Loki's been in one fucking movie. All right. Yeah, it's The Avengers. We've established that. No, I was just making sure. I'm serious. I like your intensity. It's the order part that fucking gets you.
Starting point is 00:39:12 Right. Because I can't even name all my siblings. I'm sure if you say three, Sam's going to have to really think about it for a while, so you'll have some more time to figure it out. That would be more fun. Or you can, Sam's going to have to really think about it for a while, so he'll have some more time to figure it out. That would be more fun. But, or you can make Sam,
Starting point is 00:39:29 I mean, you can make Chris do it, but if he gets it right, you're, that's it, he's the winner. He comes back to tell us yet again
Starting point is 00:39:37 in two weeks from now about the Kickstarter. So if I get three, if I go three, right? What? If I go three, if I fucking say,
Starting point is 00:39:44 okay, I can do three. I think Sam will go four. Right. That's my prediction. But either way, he's going to either get it right or I'm going to get it wrong and he's going to get a point, right?
Starting point is 00:39:53 Huh? If he gets it right or I get it wrong, he gets a fucking point. No. No. If I go negative four, then it goes to Chris.
Starting point is 00:40:01 It's just like The Departed. Chris will be challenged to go even deeper. You mean The Departed? What's going to happen when you pass it? The movie where I was the lone survivor. Check it out, people. But yeah, you either got to challenge Chris to win it. I can do three.
Starting point is 00:40:16 I'm not fucking around. Okay, he says three. Name that movie. Easy. The Avengers. I just did what he asked, bro. Too bad this isn't the do what Sam asks game. The answer to my question was yes.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Yes. Right? No. Are you fucking kidding me? Am I the only person who understands how things work? You gotta... I was either gonna... You gotta name the top three people I was just saying
Starting point is 00:40:48 In the correct order People are gonna go ape shit People are gonna love this if you do this I'm gonna be so impressed if you get this Top three in order Who would be top three? Just look at that movie Just think about that movie
Starting point is 00:41:02 Come on, you can do it Who's number one? Give me a number one top villain. Just look at that movie. Just think about that movie. I know, but you know for sure it ain't fucking Mark Ruffalo. Come on. Who's number one? Give me a number one. Come on. Apologies to put your hands together. Give it to me. I know. I'm sorry. Give it. I'm trying to think of the goddamn
Starting point is 00:41:17 Avengers right now. Just look at all those costumes. Glistening. Heroing. It's like a Hulk. And there's a fucking captain dude with a shield. There's that dude with that fucking... Sam's like, don't help him. Hammer.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Help me help you. Can I talk to a girl in the audience? I'll give you a clue. One of them is not a human plant. Perfect. Let's just get it out of the way right away. Okay. It's the only fucking name I can think of.
Starting point is 00:41:49 I don't know if this dude even deserves top billing. Okay. Because of Woody. Never mind. All right. Samuel L. Jackson. What? Oh, dude.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Sam Levine is our winner. Which order would you go Sam this is the show off spot wait Chris Mancini can you show off Downey's gotta be number one Robert Downey Jr.'s first I think it'd be Samuel Jackson be second cause he's in all the movies I would've gone with
Starting point is 00:42:22 Hemsworth oh no he's fourth he's fourth alright I'm out All right, you're out. Yeah, I would have gone with Hemsworth. Oh, no, he's fourth. He's fourth, all right, I'm out. Yeah, he went Chris Evans, and I bet you it's because of that time on this show that Chris Evans said to Leonard, name it bitch. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:36 So I think Leonard is like, ooh, I better, you know, but you can't put him over Robert Downey Jr. Then Ruffalo. And Ruffalo's number three. I'm sorry, Mark. Really, you got fucking three? I'm sorry, Mark, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Okay, you worked that deal out. You got fucking number three. So Sam sorry, Mark. Really? You got fucking three? I'm sorry, Mark. Yeah. Okay. You worked that deal out. You got fucking number three. So, Sam Levine, can you come back in two weeks? You know I can, Doug. All right. And I believe with the negative, you went negative and you won the game. So, that means that you are back in the mix in the Tournament of Championships. Ongoing.
Starting point is 00:43:01 back in the mix in the, uh, tournament of championships ongoing right now, we're trying to get another person to compete, uh, in the, uh, uh, the next round because,
Starting point is 00:43:10 uh, Jeff Garland is hard to, uh, nail down. Jeff Garland, troublemaker. That guy's a loose cannon. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:16 He's a total LC. So, um, so we'll, we will see what happens. Let me see that, uh, shithead that you got there,
Starting point is 00:43:24 uh, Chris Mancini. Real quick, Chris, one more time, plug whatever you want. We're actually doing a Kickstarter campaign for a podcast documentary called Earbuds, and it ends on February 24th, so listen quickly and go to kickstarter.com. Earbuds, and it'll be great. It features Doug Benson, Mark Maron, and all your favorite podcasters. And it'll be a really cool
Starting point is 00:43:47 documentary. Kind of talk about the history of podcasting and the connection between the fans and the podcasters. Thank you, Chris. Sam played for Elliot. Elliot, come get your prizes. There are just a heap of prizes on the floor.
Starting point is 00:44:03 And Elliot, while I agree very much with your shithead, I'm afraid it will not be set up. Yeah, we don't get to say it. Although, you know what? Give it to me, because I don't like the shitheads I got. So I might as well throw this one in. Oh, there you go, Elliot. Oh.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Turns out I don't like it. I'll say it, though. I'll be right here. I'll be right here Boy that was the slowest fucking burn Literally that thing I could have pinpointed by person by person Who was getting it in the room Mark Wahlberg, Chris Vanzini and Sam the Man
Starting point is 00:44:39 Levine everybody See you in two weeks little Wolverine And as always Olivia Coldbreath everybody. Thanks, guys. See you in two weeks, little Wolverine. All right. And as always, Olivia Coldbreath is a shithead. Do you care if I do a show right after this one? Yeah, put your hands together.
Starting point is 00:44:55 All right, I'm in. They have to ask you. It's not up to me. All right, fair enough. But yeah, I'm sure you could, you know, just bully your way in like you do. He's not a bully your way in like you do.
Starting point is 00:45:05 He's not a bully. He's not a bully. He's misunderstood. Yep. What movie is that from? I guess I pop both your cherries. Boogie Nights? No, close though. Big Hit? No.
Starting point is 00:45:21 That's close to Boogie Nights. The Italian Job? No. It's close to Boogie Nights. The Italian job. No. Rockstar? I'll give you a hint. I was the first dude in a movie to go like this. Basketball Diaries? No.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Fuck that Wolf of Wall Street shit. Wolf of Wall Street. No. No, I guess I popped both your cherries. Right now there are people screaming at their iPhones. What the fuck could that be? Jesus. I guess I popped both your cherries. It's not the lovely bones.
Starting point is 00:45:52 No, that was Stanley Tucci's line. Not a painting game? I guess I popped both your cherries. Somebody save us. What's it from? Fear. It's from fear. Fear. Again with the fear. Oh, It's from fear Fear Again with the fear Oh I'm so sorry
Starting point is 00:46:07 Always with the fear Yeah well I made up This fucking game You and your colons And the Olympic Ring operator May he rest in peace Is a shithead
Starting point is 00:46:16 He's not dead Yeah he's not dead That's a rumor You know Come on Oh that is the joke Here you go Tiffany Take your weird thing back Come on. Oh, that is the joke. Here you go, Tiffany.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Take your weird thing back. Jay Leno getting another send-off party. Is she... Pocky eyes, a folded viewing crown, was big. Tip Pocky, there's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.

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