Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine, "Mark Wahlberg," and Chris Mancini Guest
Episode Date: February 11, 2014Doug welcomes Samm "The Ma'am" Levine aka lil Wolverine, Chris Mancini, and returning Leonard Maltin winner "Mark Wahlberg" to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Cal...ifornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby cities
He's with 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
But Doug loves movies
Hey everybody!
Hey everybody.
Hey.
Everybody. Hey everybody Hey Everybody My name is Doug and I love movies
And this is Doug Loves Movies
Coming to you from the UCB
Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday
February 11th
2014 Wolf of Wall Street
Fight Terminator 2
Judgment Day of the Dead Man Walking.
No show, no show here next Tuesday
because I'll be doing the second Getting Doug with High live at Largo on La Cienega.
Five great guests all getting Doug on stage and streaming live.
Largo-LA.com for tickets.
Use the discount code GETDUCK.
Jacksonville, Florida, I want the Comedy Zone tomorrow night,
so probably tonight or last night, depending on when you listen to this.
Could be a few weeks ago.
But, you know, if you're hearing it in time, come on by.
And Monday, after the Weezer cruise, also jump on that if you want to,
I'm doing an interruption of Point Break at the Sunray Cinemas at 420 on President's Day.
Point Break, President's Day, get it?
State of Denver, Colorado, yeah!
State of Denver, Colorado.
Yeah!
I'm doing my second annual Mother's Day show at the Comedy Works at 420 on Mother's Day.
Six-finger Tim will be there.
Will you?
If he high-fives you,
you get 5.5 years of good luck.
Because his six-finger is really like half a finger.
Now it's time for
tweet relief tweets about movies.
Our friend Fart Cancer
on Twitter
tweeted
the new Lego movie
just seems pieced together.
This has been
tweet relief tweets about movies.
Prize bags tonight,
you guys. There's a lot of
shit to unpack,
and I should do most of it with the
guests out here, but of course we have a
Doug Loves Movies t-shirt, we have a
copy of Gateway, Doug. We have
some Simpsons
items, even though no one involved with
the Simpsons is here tonight.
And yeah, let's just get my guests out here.
Please welcome returning Lennon-Walton game winner Mark Wahlberg,
along with Chris Mancini and Sam the Man Levine,
a.k.a. Will Wolverine!
Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Wow, he won't even touch the mic, Doug.
Mark won't even touch his mic.
No, well, that's the thing.
I mean, Sam, you're special,
but most actors that come on the show,
their mic technique is less than stellar.
How you guys doing? You doing good?
Oh, okay.
I know you did a little bit with Andy Samberg
where you went on SNL and pretended to be mad,
but it was clear you were pretending to be mad,
but I think you're still really mad at that guy.
Am I right?
He just didn't fucking ask my permission, that's all.
You think you're fucking better than me?
All he had to do was ask your permission?
Fucking give me a heads up, bro.
Then I can be like, oh yeah, I was cool with it.
But instead I had a fucking gut react,
and my gut react said, I'm gonna fucking kill this thing.
But he portrayed you
as a really polite, sweet guy
that always asks people
to say hi to their mother.
Yeah, where the fuck is that from?
I don't know anybody's mother.
From fucking 1996 to 2004,
I didn't even talk to my own mother.
Mark Wahlberg is here,
ladies and gentlemen.
And the dude who's a fan of the show,
because I had said that I hadn't experienced the other guys last week,
sent me the Blu-ray DVD combo pack.
Sent it right here to UCB.
So now I have to watch this shit.
I mean, I'm going to watch this.
Let's fucking cancel the show. Fire that bitch up.
Let's fucking do this. You're going to like it.
Can we just play it? I'll talk to Ryan
in the booth. Is that cool?
No, I'll watch it later. It's got both
the theatrical and extended versions.
What do you think the extended stuff
is? Like shots of background people
walking around and shit.
Oh, it's not like alternative lines or takes
of the stars of the movie, you and Will Ferrell?
No, Will Ferrell and I almost got in a fistfight
at craft services, and I think they caught that.
But other than that...
That's on here, maybe?
I think extended, they mean extended credits.
I don't know.
I don't get into that business.
I just show up, fucking kill it, and leave.
All right, well, I'm going to watch it.
Whoever wins tonight gets the Blu-ray. I kept the DVD.
Because I'm
old school like that. I'm all about the quality
of a DVD.
Chris Mancini is here, ladies and gentlemen.
You know him, of course,
from the Comedy Film Nerds podcast
with our friend Graham Elwood.
What do you do when he starts whistling, Chris?
Whistling is forbidden on the Comedy Film Nerds podcast.
Oh, we've got to talk later about how I can get that on this show.
Yeah.
Because that would be fantastic.
And you brought a copy of the book that was spawned by the podcast
called The Comedy Film Nerd's Guide
to Movies. And yeah,
I was looking right at it, so I know what it
is. And
Myopic Visions, a collection of short films
by award-winning filmmaker
Chris Mancini. So yeah.
It's been on HBO and the
SyFy channel, all the short films they've
done. And if you want to see what Paul F. Tompkins, Andy Kindler, and Jay Johnston looked like in the 90s,
you can check out some of the short films.
Great reason to watch.
Yeah.
I brought a T-shirt from Sketch Fest in San Francisco, which turned 13,
and we watched Twilight, New Moon together.
And next year we're going to watch Twilight Eclipse.
Fucking good, right?
Yeah.
Well,
you're a big Twilight fan?
I just fucking think it was badass those kids turned into dogs and shit.
There must have been a movie
in your career where you turned into something.
Did you ever transform into anything?
Most of my movies I just turn into a fucking badass.
But, uh...
Oh, no, because we talked about this.
In The Happening, I turned into a teacher.
So what did you bring tonight?
Eight modern plays?
Yep. Open it up.
Open it up.
Okay.
I wrote a note on the fucking inscription page.
Okay.
Who's your favorite playwright?
Sam Shepard.
Yeah.
Fucking True West, baby.
I know my shit.
I do like True West, but you wrote inside eight modern plays,
none of which you have anything to do with.
Good luck.
Read this.
Fucking to the point, like a punch.
M.W.
Wait, what'd you do with what was inside of there?
Oh, the receipt? It's not a receipt. Why don't you look at what that is?
That is a
free complimentary ticket to Lone Survivor.
Let's go, people.
Let's see this fucking movie.
I don't know what I gotta do.
But it's a receipt from General Nutrition Center. It's not a fucking movie. I don't know what I gotta do. But it's a receipt from
General Nutrition Center. It is not a fucking
GNC receipt, bro. It's some sort of
kind of thing they have with
Lone Survivor. Right there it says, you qualify
for a free movie ticket to Lone Survivor.
Yeah. You just bought a
power bar. You could survive
in this situation. Now is that good outside of Boston?
Oh yeah, that's fucking good anywhere.
Magic Johnson time movies.
Show place 16.
You can walk in there.
You just show them, and if they give you shit,
be like, fucking we'll handle it after the movie.
Sam Levine is here, everybody.
Thank you.
You're very sweet.
You brought Simpsons swag? I brought some Simpsons swag?
I brought some Simpsons swag what do you got here Sam?
it's my favorite show and stuff
those are Simpsons earbuds
of course they are
with little duffs
duff beers
and then
and then I'm so glad
just in time for 2014
just in time for 2014
if you had me on any later
that thing would be garbage
to Simpsons wall calendar for Nate or two judgment day of the dead Just in time for 2014. If you had me on any later, that thing would be garbage. To Simpson's Wall calendar.
Finator to Judgment Day of the Dead.
All right.
Manwalking.
Thank you for bringing that, Sam.
Oh, my pleasure.
And thank you for bringing the heat tonight,
because Mark Wahlberg was an outstanding player last week.
I heard.
And I thought...
Earmuffs, Mark.
I thought... Earmuffs, Mark. I thought...
I thought, I can't put up with this week after week,
so I gotta bring somebody in.
Because I was already worried.
What if he brings in a bag full of
marked protein bars?
Mark Wahlberg's protein bar is called Marked.
Marked.
Because you've been marked.
You've been fucking tagged with chocolate goodness.
Those things are so heavy.
Listen to this, you guys.
Is that a brick?
It's crazy.
It's like a game of fetch.
I didn't mean to make you go get it like that.
Okay.
Put it daintily back on the table.
For those who are doubtful, a portion of
sales of Marked will benefit
the Mark Wahlberg Youth Foundation.
This is real.
Yeah, you know what that's called? Not fucking
around. That's what that's called. Let me see what
happens if I throw one to Jordan.
Does he eat it? Does he try it?
These are so fucking good, you don't need to eat for two
days.
Another portion of sales
will benefit Mark Wahlberg.
You fucking know it, Chris Metz.
Let's give away one more.
Who else wants one? Come on.
Okay, all right, here you go.
Careful!
Fucking see that?
It's like throwing a cinder block at the audience.
Oh, let's fucking throw some.
Excellent Benedict Cumbercatch.
That's a good one.
All right.
Yeah, it was a lot of effort.
I'm sweaty.
Oh, thank you, Mark.
Terrific prize bags
As is often the case
Because everyone's super generous
And brings really cool stuff
So somebody's going to win all of this
Who's it going to be gentlemen?
Let's pick some name tags
What do you say?
Let the games begin
And we're not talking Sochi
This is the real deal
People train pretty Poor showing on name tags Sam Levine says Grin. And we're not talking Sochi. This is the real deal.
People train pretty... Poor showing on name tags, Sam Levine says.
Before he talks
more shit about you guys,
we're going to go to a quick commercial break. We'll be right
back after this.
And we're back. Alright, let's
see who you guys are playing for
tonight
on this beautiful February
Eve. Mr. Wahlberg,
you're first. Everybody's
ex-girlfriend, Tiffany.
You either had sex with
or dated a Tiffany, I guarantee it.
Do you still remember all those names you
said in that scene with Ted
in the movie of the same name?
Nope.
Okay, that's good. Good answer. you said in that scene with Ted in the movie of the same name? Nope. Okay.
Good answer.
I'm going to find this shit.
Oh, nice. Oh.
Classic smirk. Chris, who are you playing for?
King of the surf guitar, Dale.
Alright.
And Sam? I appear to be
playing for Pete. I've seen that one
before. Where'd I see that, Pete?
At Riot Fest.
At Riot Fest here in Los Angeles.
Did Jeff Garlin pick it?
No, and it's not Pete.
What the fuck?
It's Elliot.
His name is Elliot.
Okay.
We went through this before.
That's very confusing.
I only picked this because I thought your name was Pete.
I thought, I'm on there twice, right?
And Graham Elwood's on there once.
But I thought one of the versions of me was supposed to be T.J. Miller.
The one with the hair and the hat kind of looks like T.J. Miller to me.
I picked this because the movie Pete's Dragon, Charlie Callis appears in the movie.
And ask your great-grandparents who Charlie Callis was.
He played the dragon slayer in the movie, right?
So, yes.
And Charlie Callis is also
from Fort Lee, New Jersey, my hometown.
Oh.
What a delightful and...
Backstory. Backstory.
Makes the characters real.
I was gonna...
The rest of my sentence was, who gives a shit?
But yeah.
Not me. Right there with you, bro. I was going to the rest of my sentence was who gives a shit but yeah not me I like it
we have some strong competitors tonight
everybody would love to come back
in two weeks
we'll be back here in two weeks
for another exciting
fun
over
show
that would be awesome if I wrote the word show
on the next page
Doug do you still travel with a clipboard
since now they have
loosened the
restrictions on small
electronic devices
that you can keep on during takeoff and landing
oh I still don't want to write it on my phone
I like having this big piece of paper with everything on it.
Gotcha.
Yeah, I like it.
Okay.
Thanks for clearing that up.
It comforts me.
Relax, Steve.
Yeah.
My phone could die at any minute,
but this piece of paper
is going to exist from now on.
Oh, that's got to be from a movie.
We're basically family.
Shit.
Poor brother.
Fear?
Fear.
Way to fucking go, bro. That's some fear fear way to fucking go
that's from fear
we're fucking
doing lines with Mark
that's what it's called
doing lines with Mark
yep
fucking doing lines with Mark
so let's fucking play
the doing lines with Mark
if you lose
if you lose tonight
next week
I want you to just
step out on stage
every once in a while,
or two weeks from now,
and just say a line from one of your movies
and we have to guess,
and then you just tell us whether we're right or wrong
and then walk off again.
Would you accept that role?
I mean, I know you're a leading man.
You know what?
Let's pencil it in.
Okay.
We had you penciled for tonight,
and you made it, so that's exciting.
I know, that's what I'm saying.
Number two all the way.
It could totally happen.
All right, let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
Of course, you're playing for Tiffany,
and I'm going to give you three category choices, Mark,
and then we'll go to Chris,
and then we'll go to one of the all-time greats, Sam Levine.
I thought Edgar Wright was here.
He's pretty good
too, but he doesn't
get in the game enough.
At Jimmy Dime
suggested Teen Wolf
of Wall Street, and that's
movies where Michael J. Fox plays
a financier.
At
Not Tiernan suggested
Anchorman 2,
and that's sequels that have scenes on a boat.
And at Cockbobber,
I'm sorry,
Cock underscore Bobber,
suggested Marijuana,
and that's movies where Meryl Streep smokes weed.
Marijuana.
Which is what we should call it from now on.
Make it whiter.
So people have less reason to be afraid of it.
Yeah.
And I bet you I'm the only person here
who's actually had some marijuana in their fucking mouth.
Let's do this. Yeah, I bet you're right. I bet you are right the only person here who's actually had some marijuana in their fucking mouth. Let's do this.
Yeah, I bet you're right.
I bet you are right about that.
Summer 94.
One week, me and her.
All right, let's go.
You know what I want to do?
I want to go on a fucking boat.
All right, I'll tell you right now.
The answer's not perfect storm, so holster that.
Damn it.
All right, I'll tell you right now, the answer's not Perfect Storm, so holster that.
God damn it.
Would you like a movie that was a sequel that also has parts in a boat from 1979 or 1997?
I mean, I already know what it is, so... Let's go with 97, bro.
You know what both of them are, or the 97 one?
No, just the 97 one.
Okay.
All right.
You guys know.
Here we go.
Let's see if this helps you in confirming what your suspicions are.
Leonard Maltin calls this movie a bomb.
He says it's mind-numbingly stupid.
And he also asks at the end,
did anyone read the script before signing
on for this one?
And he lists
12 names.
Negative two.
How many?
How many?
Chris Mancini,
what are you going to do with that?
That is quite a gauntlet to throw down in the first round.
I know.
I figure like this.
Either way, I got somewhere to be.
I don't feel...
By boat?
What's that?
By boat?
I can make it a fucking boat if you want to go.
I do.
Mark Wahlberg, name that movie.
Alright, I just got to know right now.
Do I say the title first?
Say the title and the two names in the correct order
from top billing to second billing
according to Leonard Maltin.
And I don't say
yes or no to any of it until you've said all of it.
Oh, really? Yes, sir.
Alright. Name the movie.
Speed 2. Name the top billed person in that movie. Sandra Bull right. Name the movie. Speed 2.
Name the top-billed person in that movie.
Sandra Bullock.
Name the second-billed person.
Jason Patrick.
Name the actual full title of the film.
National Lampoon's Speed 2.
Points! You really can't name the whole thing?
That was a fun answer, but...
Uh...
I mean, I could probably think of something.
A drift or something like that.
Drift?
Yeah, oh, a drift.
Hope floats?
Oh my God, so fucking good.
Sandra Bullock.
Speed 2.
Harry Connick Jr.
Greatest fucking song Bob Seger ever wrote.
Speed 2.
The Lake House.
No, I just know what a Speed 2 is, so I feel like I did a good job.
I think you did a great job, and that's part of the fun of the show,
is that everyone is excited and happy for you, and yet you also lose.
We already know how you're going to end this sentence.
You also don't get the point.
Speed 2.
Cruise Control. Everybody knew it. and yet you also lose. We already know how you're going to end this sentence. You also don't get the point. Speed to cruise control.
Everybody knew it.
Pat Loose does three Willem Dafoe.
Yeah, who was the third name?
Number three, Willem Dafoe.
And four has got to be who?
Glenn Plummer? Of course, he's a shithead.
Bill Paxton?
Glenn Plummer?
Glenn Plummer?
No, no.
Bill Paxton?
They went with Tamura Morrison,
Ben Brian McArdle.
Yeah, everybody fucking knows it
after I say the title.
Christine Frickens,
Colleen Kabb,
Lois Childs,
Jeremy Hotz.
Wow.
Comedian Jeremy Hotz.
Bo Svetson.
Could you please say his full name?
Then Glenn Plummer
at the Wave.
And then,
who do you think the last one is,
Sam?
Wackiest role in the movie,
Comic Relief.
Don Knotts?
No! Fucking Tim Conway.
The next best thing to Don Knotts.
The next best thing. It's riveting.
Alright!
Chris Mancini has a point, everybody!
Which is the name of one of his books about
raising children.
Chris Mancini has a point.
Sam gets to
pick a category.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
And then we go to Chris
and then hopefully
Mark will be off
the phone
by the time
we get to him
he'll be off his call.
Is that Sandra Boat?
What's that?
That's Sandy.
Chris.
Sandy Boat.
She calls Mark
it's Sandy.
It's double us guys.
Sam would you like
Steven Spiel.
What do you want me to say his full fucking name too?
No, I want you to pronounce it,
I want you to give it the Jewish pronunciation,
and it's Spiel.
Okay, fair enough.
Turn over new leaf.
Turn over new leaf.
And that's Joaquin Phoenix movies
before his name changed from Leaf to Joaquin.
Oh, okay.
At Blueberry Johnson suggests,
You're in this!
And this is films that someone in the panel is in.
Ah.
One of you guys is in a movie.
Boy, Mark Wahlberg's been in a lot of movies.
I know, right?
Seems unfairly pitched towards him.
Good thing you get to pick.
And at Mike underscore Spadafora
suggests
2001 A Spacey Odyssey
and that's Kevin
Spacey films that came out
in 2001.
It seems like it should be a gimme but
I'll go with
the Leaf Phoenix category.
All right.
Leaf Phoenix from 89 or 96?
And both of these would be in the 19s.
I will take 1989.
Three and a half stars from him, Leonard.
He calls this movie insightful.
He also
says that it was followed
by a TV series.
And he
names 13 people.
How many can you get it in, Sam?
The ma'am.
Negative four.
The ma'am.
N.K.A.
Will Wolverine.
Oh, I think I'm having a heart attack.
Sorry.
That's exciting.
Negative four, he says, Chris.
Don't let him fucking do it.
I mean, you got a point.
You'll only be tied up.
Yeah, name the movie.
All right.
The film is Parenthood.
Yep.
Thank you, Mark.
Thank you, Mark.
Fuckin' Noah.
Be quiet.
Mark, please.
Steve Martin, Mary Steenburgen, Diane Weiss, Jason Robards.
You're an asshole.
Fuck that, bro.
Thank you very much.
Oh, shit.
I'm fucking baseball bad at that shit.
Jesus.
Wow.
Who would you put after Jason Robards?
Rick Moranis.
Rick Moranis, really?
Yeah.
Because that's correct.
Who would you put after him, though?
There's no way you can do another one.
Harley Jane Kozik.
Whoa.
She's like, you're like three or four off.
What an idiot.
Tom Hulse, Martha Plimpton, Keanu Reeves.
Hold on a second.
What's up?
What's up, Mark?
I paid my money and I want a fucking answer.
Hold on a sec.
I paid my money and I want a fucking answer.
It's correct.
Hold on a sec.
I pay a hard hug of peace.
You fucking nil.
Yeah!
I'm gonna fall for that shit every time fucking I heart Huckabees
me and the Russ
who doesn't
you were there when he fought with Clooney
you were there when he fought with Lily Tomlin
and Hoffman Dustin Hoffman.
But you get along with him okay.
You're the fighter with him.
Yep, you know why?
He knows how to fight.
Why didn't you put on a stupid beard
and run around in American Hustle?
What went wrong there?
Whoa, this is a sore spot?
No, it's good.
I don't like being in Oscar now
and any fucking movies.
Here's the deal.
He was like,
please don't make me
put Christian Bale
in another fucking movie.
Will you please gain the weight?
And I said, bro,
I'll gain muscle.
But I ain't gaining
fucking fat.
You know what we call that?
Deal breaker.
Yeah, he really let himself go.
He kind of inspired me to diet more.
Yeah.
Because I was just like, oof.
Making a whole bunch of ugly dudes
think they can fuck Amy Adams.
I'll tell you right now, guys.
I still buy that part of it.
No, don't fucking buy that.
Women are pretty nice.
Women are cool.
No, it was all script.
They'll totally fuck dudes that look like that
okay
he gave her a bunch of dresses
you know what
you're right
Andy lied to her
you gotta keep that
self esteem low
I don't even know
what movie he was
talking about
I'm just saying
in David O. Russell movies
oh
oh you didn't know
what we were talking about
for the last half
we didn't know
what we were talking about
did you ever get in a fight with David O. Russell on a set?
Oh, Chris with the hard hitting shit
Yeah, no, I want to know
No, because if I'm the EP and in the movie
I'll fight anybody
But if you have the possibility to go
Hey, I think we're going to go another direction
I just walk away
Break something
And then I come back.
Seems like a good system.
Yeah, it's fucking great.
Just let them cross.
Just let them cross.
Just let them cross.
Why won't you let them cross?
They're gonna fucking kill them.
Just let them cross. Oh, you fucking let them cross? They're going to fucking kill them. Just let them cross.
Oh, you fucking don't know it.
Say the full title, Doug.
Do you think you're Gordon Joseph Levin in Dark Knight Rises?
No, just let them fucking cross.
Because that's what he says.
Just let them cross.
They're going to fucking kill them.
Just let them cross.
Is it Departed?
No.
Three Kings.
It is Three Kings.
Yay!
Dude over here said it
almost the same time as me.
And a little bit before.
A little quicker.
Yeah, he was a little quicker.
He was a little quicker,
but I was on it.
At Koji Werner,
who's going first this time?
Who was left out of that last one?
I was.
Marky Mark?
Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
What's that? Nothing. You know what?
I called you the wrong name. You're a fan. It's fine.
Oh, thank you.
We'll start with Mark and then
go to Chris.
And of course Chris has a point
and Sam has a point, Mark.
Yeah.
At Koji Werner suggested Barton's...
Oh, I see what you meant.
You don't want to know what?
Huh?
Big picture?
I'm still winning.
Take it how you want it.
Let's do this.
Koji suggested Barton Stink
Barton Stink
that's movies
with John Turturro
that Leonard Baldwin
gave less than
two stars
at
Sintrix Phone
S-Y-N-T-R-Y-X
Phone
suggested
The Nut Job
and that's
a movie where
a woman is
dressed as a man
The Nut Job and at David K. Ashton Nutjob, and that's a movie where a woman is dressed as a man.
The Nutjob.
And at David K. Ashton suggested Full Metal Jacket,
and that's movies
where robots have sex.
A robot has sex
in Full Metal Jacket.
So we got dudes dressed as ladies,
robot sex, and what was that first one?
John Turturro, Less Than Two from Leonard.
That dude doesn't make bad movies.
Except...
Can I ask you,
have you seen any of the Transformers films
before signing on to be in one?
Oh, fuck yeah.
The trailers or the full movie?
I think Turturro's in both.
Yep. Killing both. Yep.
Yeah.
Killing it.
All right.
Did you get to ride a dinosaur
in this one?
I'm not going to fucking spoil that.
I will say this, though.
In person, they don't look the same.
Transformers?
Yep.
Or John Turturro.
Or dinosaurs. Or dinosaurs.
Or dinosaurs.
Which one of those categories would you like, Mark?
Let's go Johnny T.
I'm sorry.
John Turturro.
Okay, yes.
I was confused.
Would you like a John Turturro movie from 2001 or 2011?
You know what?
What?
Let's make it fun.
Let's go 11.
Okay.
That's more fun?
Yeah, it's a better number.
That's more fun than 2001?
Yep.
One and a half from Leonard.
He says this movie...
He asks, where's the fun in all of this?
That's not a good review.
And he also says,
this movie's got Presidents Kennedy, Nixon, and Obama in it.
Which is a weird way to describe them.
Because it just means money?
Because it just means money?
I've just never heard it said that way before.
But I guess that makes sense.
What do you think?
I don't know how many names are there.
I'm going to tell you.
We've got a whopping...
15 names?
I'm going to recheck that.
15.
15 names of Johnny T.
A lot of presidents.
I'm not in it?
You're not allowed to ask that.
Okay.
I don't think I was. You know what?
I'm going to be honest with you.
Oh, please.
Give me like eight.
Okay.
He says eight names, Chris.
I have an idea,
but I want to hear
Mark Wahlberg name that movie.
All right.
Oh, interesting.
Strategic play.
If ever there was one.
Sam is just...
We all better hope Mark Wahlberg gets this fucking movie.
Okay.
Why should we all hope for that?
It seems like just you need to hope for that.
I just hate getting boxed out.
That's why.
I hate getting boxed out.
Oh, right, right, right.
He will fly into a rage and turn into a small dog.
Makes the game not fun.
I will not.
I won't do anything bad.
I will walk around.
I will look for the least most important person.
I will punch that person.
Then I will come back.
All right, so you need to do it in eight names?
Yeah, I'm going to hear eight names.
Yeah.
Then we'll see what happens.
Leonard Nimoy.
Leonard Nimoy.
I just said it differently.
It doesn't count as two names.
Hugo Weaving.
Peter Cullen.
Alan Tudyk, the great Tudyks.
Ken Jeong, Dr. Ken Jeong in some circles.
Julie White.
Kevin Dunn.
Patrick Dempsey.
Son of a bitch.
Those are your names.
They're all good looking people.
Let me help you out.
It's not Grey's Anatomy the movie.
Damn it.
What were the last two names?
Patrick Dempsey and who?
Kevin Dunn.
The great Kevin Dunn.
Chicago actor.
The great Kevin Dunn, Sam added.
He and I were in jobs together.
He's on True Dicks.
Oh, True Detective, yeah.
He and I, we worked the same day on the Steve Jobs movie,
even though we had no scene together,
as we were hanging out at the trailer camp together.
And I was like, hey, Kevin Dunn, can I ask you a weird question?
He was like, yeah, what's up?
And I went, so you were in that movie Snake Eyes.
And he goes, yeah.
weird question? He's like, yeah, what's up?
And I went, so you were in that movie Snake Eyes?
And he goes, yeah. And I go,
Gary Sinise's character in that movie plays
a guy named Kevin Dunn.
That's pretty
crazy, right?
And he was like, yes, it
was weird, but his
character is spelled Dunn differently
than I spell it.
I'm just trying to buy
Wahlberg some fucking time!
Wait.
You're gay?
Kim's a dude?
Huh? Kevin.
Wait. You're gay?
Kim's a dude?
Wait.
You're gay?
The other guys?
Kim's a dude?
Oh, Kim's a dude.
Rockstar?
It is Rockstar.
Nice!
Early McNulty in that fucking movie.
What's the answer, though?
Is it Transformers 2?
Dark of the Moon?
Why does it...
Transformers 2, Dark Side of the Moon.
I feel like we're about to have a semantic argument.
You fucking give it to him.
It's not an argument, but Sam says give it to you.
It's called Transformers, colon,
Dark of the Moon.
I've got to fucking say colon?
No, you don't have to say colon.
Was it the second one, though?
No.
Wait, have we gone final?
Have we gone final?
Oh, no, no, you still get to answer.
Let me read you the entire review. No, we have a three-way tie, no, no. You still get to answer. Let me read you the entire review.
No,
we have a three-way tie, ladies and gentlemen.
Because Sam Levine is
a good sport.
I wouldn't give it to him.
If Sam Levine wasn't here, I would not give him the point.
Thank you, Sam. You're welcome,
Mark. That's part of the fun to me, is these
fucking subtitles on all these goddamn movies.
Why do they do that? It really makes it a challenge. It's part of the fun to me is these fucking subtitles on all these goddamn movies. Why do they do that?
Really makes it a challenge.
It's like the movie was called The Burbs.
That's it.
It's not called fucking The Burbs
killing your neighbors.
No, it was in fact,
the full title was The Burbs colon.
You're fucking with me.
Was it really?
One crazy day in America.
No.
Oh, my God.
All right, who goes first?
What just happened?
Mark got the point.
Yeah, but who challenged him?
I did.
All right, so Sam is up, and then we go to Chris,
and Sam gets a pick from the following categories.
We have a three-way tie.
Fuck the categories.
Oh, it's so exciting.
It's time for asparagus pee.
Whoa.
Yeah.
The tiebreaker category.
Let me explain it to Mark and to Chris.
You may not have experienced this.
This is where I read you the entire review,
tell you everything about it except the cast,
and then the bidding begins with Sam Levine,
and it becomes a game of how many people that are in this movie can we name.
In order.
But every once in a while it becomes a game of one of the panelists is so dumb
that they don't even know what movie I'm talking about.
Sometimes two.
Does the cast have to be named in order on this one?
Once you bid negative names, yes.
So negative one means the top person
negative two
top two
etc
I got the rock now
invincible?
no
I got the rock now
everybody listen up
oh Planet of the Apes
no
I got the rock now everybody listen up. Oh, Planet of the Apes. No.
I got the rock now.
Everybody listen up.
The happening?
Nope, it's right after I punch a dude.
Swear to God.
I got the rock now.
Everybody listen up.
Just because you keep saying it doesn't mean we're going to get it.
Pain and gain.
Nope.
Pain and gain?
I got the rock now.
Everybody listen up.
Jesus, what could you see?
Are you sure it's not Planet of the Apes?
Yep.
Max Payne?
No.
I got this right now.
Four Brothers?
It is Four Brothers.
You know it would be Four Brothers or Two Guns.
Or Three Kings.
This movie got three and a half stars.
From Leonard. Who's going first?
I am
okay Sam
three and a half stars
from Leonard
the year is 2012
oh that's recent
when evil Loki
from Asgard
threatens the very future
of humanity on earth
agent Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D.
summons the Avengers
to save the day
but first they have to find a way
to get along with each other
outstanding comic book movie based on
the Marvel characters created by Stan Lee
and Jack Kirby
blah blah blah blah blah
title
on screen is Marvel's
The Avengers
and he lists
19 names.
Sam Levine,
start us off.
Zero names, of course,
would be the pussy bid.
Negative one.
And you said it's gotta be an R?
Seems doable to me
Yeah, I'll do negative one
He says negative one, Mark
Can you name the top two bills?
Goes to Chris
I know, I really like talking to Mark
I have a feeling it's gonna be his last time on the show
What are you gonna do with that, Chris?
Let's keep the tension going, negative two
He says negative two, Mark.
Can you go deeper than two?
And at the end of that,
you said the title on the screen says, right?
Because that was it.
Oh, yeah, laugh it up.
Like Loki's been in one fucking movie.
All right.
Yeah, it's The Avengers.
We've established that.
No, I was just making sure.
I'm serious.
I like your intensity.
It's the order part that fucking gets you.
Right.
Because I can't even name all my siblings.
I'm sure if you say three,
Sam's going to have to really think about it for a while,
so you'll have some more time to figure it out. That would be more fun. Or you can, Sam's going to have to really think about it for a while, so he'll have some more time to figure it out.
That would be more fun.
But,
or you can make Sam,
I mean,
you can make Chris do it,
but if he gets it right,
you're,
that's it,
he's the winner.
He comes back to tell us
yet again
in two weeks from now
about the Kickstarter.
So if I get three,
if I go three,
right?
What?
If I go three,
if I fucking say,
okay, I can do three.
I think Sam will go four.
Right.
That's my prediction.
But either way,
he's going to either get it right
or I'm going to get it wrong
and he's going to get a point, right?
Huh?
If he gets it right
or I get it wrong,
he gets a fucking point.
No.
No.
If I go negative four,
then it goes to Chris.
It's just like The Departed.
Chris will be challenged to go even deeper.
You mean The Departed?
What's going to happen when you pass it?
The movie where I was the lone survivor.
Check it out, people.
But yeah, you either got to challenge Chris to win it.
I can do three.
I'm not fucking around.
Okay, he says three.
Name that movie.
Easy.
The Avengers.
I just did what he asked, bro.
Too bad this isn't the do what Sam asks game.
The answer to my question was yes.
Yes.
Right?
No.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Am I the only person who understands how things work?
You gotta...
I was either gonna... You gotta name the top three people
I was just saying
In the correct order
People are gonna go ape shit
People are gonna love this if you do this
I'm gonna be so impressed if you get this
Top three in order
Who would be top three?
Just look at that movie
Just think about that movie
Come on, you can do it
Who's number one? Give me a number one top villain. Just look at that movie. Just think about that movie. I know, but you know for sure it ain't fucking Mark Ruffalo. Come on.
Who's number one?
Give me a number one.
Come on.
Apologies to put your hands together. Give it to me.
I know. I'm sorry. Give it.
I'm trying to think of the goddamn
Avengers right now.
Just look at all those costumes.
Glistening.
Heroing. It's like a Hulk.
And there's a fucking captain dude with a shield.
There's that dude with that fucking...
Sam's like, don't help him.
Hammer.
Help me help you.
Can I talk to a girl in the audience?
I'll give you a clue.
One of them is not a human plant.
Perfect.
Let's just get it out of the way right away.
Okay.
It's the only fucking name I can think of.
I don't know if this dude even deserves top billing.
Okay.
Because of Woody.
Never mind.
All right.
Samuel L. Jackson.
What?
Oh, dude.
Sam Levine is our winner.
Which order would you go Sam this is the show off spot
wait Chris Mancini can you show off
Downey's gotta be number one
Robert Downey Jr.'s first
I think it'd be Samuel Jackson be second
cause he's in all the movies
I would've gone with
Hemsworth
oh no he's fourth he's fourth alright I'm out All right, you're out. Yeah, I would have gone with Hemsworth.
Oh, no, he's fourth.
He's fourth, all right, I'm out.
Yeah, he went Chris Evans,
and I bet you it's because of that time on this show that Chris Evans said to Leonard,
name it bitch.
Oh, yeah.
So I think Leonard is like,
ooh, I better, you know,
but you can't put him over Robert Downey Jr.
Then Ruffalo.
And Ruffalo's number three.
I'm sorry, Mark.
Really, you got fucking three?
I'm sorry, Mark, yeah.
Okay, you worked that deal out. You got fucking number three. So Sam sorry, Mark. Really? You got fucking three? I'm sorry, Mark. Yeah. Okay. You worked that deal out.
You got fucking number three.
So, Sam Levine, can you come back in two weeks?
You know I can, Doug.
All right.
And I believe with the negative, you went negative and you won the game.
So, that means that you are back in the mix in the Tournament of Championships.
Ongoing.
back in the mix in the, uh,
tournament of championships ongoing right now,
we're trying to get another person to compete,
uh,
in the,
uh,
uh,
the next round because,
uh,
Jeff Garland is hard to,
uh,
nail down.
Jeff Garland,
troublemaker.
That guy's a loose cannon.
Yeah.
He's a total LC.
So,
um,
so we'll,
we will see what happens.
Let me see that,
uh,
shithead that you got there,
uh,
Chris Mancini.
Real quick, Chris, one more time, plug whatever you want.
We're actually doing a Kickstarter campaign for a podcast documentary called Earbuds,
and it ends on February 24th, so listen quickly and go to kickstarter.com.
Earbuds, and it'll be great.
It features Doug Benson, Mark Maron, and all your favorite podcasters.
And it'll be a really cool
documentary. Kind of talk about the history
of podcasting and the connection between the fans
and the podcasters.
Thank you, Chris.
Sam
played for Elliot.
Elliot, come get your prizes.
There are just a heap of prizes on the floor.
And Elliot, while I agree very much with your
shithead, I'm afraid it will not be set up.
Yeah, we don't get to say it. Although, you know what?
Give it to me, because I don't like the shitheads I got.
So I might as well
throw this one in.
Oh, there you go, Elliot.
Oh.
Turns out I don't like it.
I'll say it, though.
I'll be right here.
I'll be right here Boy that was the slowest fucking burn
Literally that thing
I could have pinpointed by person by person
Who was getting it in the room
Mark Wahlberg, Chris Vanzini and Sam the Man
Levine everybody
See you in two weeks little Wolverine
And as always Olivia Coldbreath everybody. Thanks, guys. See you in two weeks, little Wolverine. All right.
And as always,
Olivia Coldbreath is a shithead.
Do you care if I do
a show right after this one?
Yeah, put your hands together.
All right, I'm in.
They have to ask you.
It's not up to me.
All right, fair enough.
But yeah, I'm sure
you could, you know,
just bully your way in
like you do. He's not a bully your way in like you do.
He's not a bully. He's not a bully. He's misunderstood.
Yep.
What movie is that from?
I guess I pop both your cherries.
Boogie Nights?
No, close though.
Big Hit?
No.
That's close to Boogie Nights.
The Italian Job? No. It's close to Boogie Nights. The Italian job.
No.
Rockstar?
I'll give you a hint.
I was the first dude in a movie to go like this.
Basketball Diaries?
No.
Fuck that Wolf of Wall Street shit.
Wolf of Wall Street.
No.
No, I guess I popped both your cherries.
Right now there are people screaming at their iPhones.
What the fuck could that be?
Jesus.
I guess I popped both your cherries. It's not the lovely bones.
No, that was Stanley Tucci's
line.
Not a painting game?
I guess I popped both your cherries.
Somebody save us.
What's it from? Fear. It's from fear.
Fear. Again with the fear. Oh, It's from fear Fear Again with the fear
Oh I'm so sorry
Always with the fear
Yeah well I made up
This fucking game
You and your colons
And the Olympic
Ring operator
May he rest in peace
Is a shithead
He's not dead
Yeah he's not dead
That's a rumor
You know
Come on
Oh that is the joke
Here you go Tiffany Take your weird thing back Come on. Oh, that is the joke.
Here you go, Tiffany.
Take your weird thing back.
Jay Leno getting another send-off party.
Is she... Pocky eyes, a folded viewing crown, was big. Tip Pocky, there's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.