Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine, Rich Sommer and Sean Jordan guest
Episode Date: September 14, 2016Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes Samm Levine, Rich Sommer and Sean Jordan to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at ht...tps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug loves movies.
Hey, hey, hey everybody.
My name is Doug and you know what?
I love movies.
This is I Love Movies.
I tried to throw it at you a little weird just to see what would happen.
Coming to you from the very professional
Nerd Melt showroom
in the back of Meltdown Comics
in Los Angeles, California.
It's Monday, September 12, 2016, and I feel the need,
the need for nametags.
What do you got, Los Angeles? Let's get some house lights so I could see these shits.
We've got Jeff FK.
And we've got Jeff FK. Somehow I'm smoking a joint in the middle of a very serious looking JFK poster.
Lawrence just attached his name to what looks like delicious cookies.
Smart one Lawrence.
This one up front is lit up but I still can't read it.
Crystal Blanca.
Crystal Blanca Crystal Blanca
And you attach some bottle caps
Oh I used to love bottle caps
And red vines
Which I'm not going to lie to you guys
I enjoy a Twizzler
But red vines is better than Twizzlers
It's kind of a west coast east coast thing
I hope that Twizzlers and red vines
Don't murder each other
Alright great job Abby T Great job everybody Coast thing. I hope that Twizzlers and Red Vines don't murder each other.
Alright, great job Abby T.
Great job, everybody.
Thank you for bringing those.
And good luck to you all. Only three
of you will be chosen.
Only three of you are the chosen one.
Doug plugs.
Tomorrow night, Doug Loves Movies is over.
UCB Franklin at 930
I believe tickets
are still available
and then Wednesday
this time it's for real
the last time
was kind of a trick
I'm really gonna interrupt
Now You See Me Too
at CineFamily
and on Friday
at 445
I'm doing stand up
that's in the afternoon
at Caboo Music Festival
in Del Mar, California
so if you're going
to that festival it's the first day on a Friday afternoon when I go on.
So it'll probably be a nice little intimate performance.
Boston, Charlotte, New York City, and more.
Douglovesmovies.com for more info.
Oh, and don't forget, you can still purchase the Super Duper Tourney of Champs
in the comedy album section of iTunes or at DouglasMovies.com for two bucks.
The show we did in Orlando on Saturday, it doesn't feel like a lost episode.
It just feels like a delayed episode.
So hopefully that'll be up tomorrow for you guys.
And then this episode tonight will be up on Wednesday.
And then tomorrow night's episode will be up
on Thursday.
And then we're all just going to take a break
for a minute. Fucking enough
Doug Lowe's movies already.
But tonight I'm very excited
because
I've gathered three
of the, you know,
I'd argue to say they're some of the
strongest game players we have,
you know, visiting us on a regular basis.
So please give a big, warm welcome to Sean Jordan, Rich Summer, and Sam the Ma'am Levine,
a.k.a.
Little Wolverine.
I got so excited to bring you guys out here and start playing games
that I forgot to say what I brought,
what's in the prize bag.
But let's just go down the line,
meet you individually,
and find out what you brought.
And then I'll share my gifts with everybody, because I think
I brought maybe the best thing that's ever been.
Not really.
Let's say hi. Thanks for coming back.
It's Rich Sommer, everybody.
Hi, Doug.
Thanks for having me.
Gamesman extraordinaire.
Yep. You're always a very
enthusiastic player. am and what
did you tell me uh in a private tweet that i never plan on winning yes it's got a very interesting
strategy that's the olympics that's how they do it the tweet that that private tweet that i sent you
was immediately preceded by your tweet that said private tweet that said uh just so you know you're
facing two very good players.
No presh.
No presh.
I asked these guys if they got any messages
about me playing,
but they didn't seem to recall.
No, no, no.
I almost sent them something like,
hey, don't sweat it, guys.
He's only a board game specialist.
But yeah, well, you know,
I just don't want anybody
to feel any pressure
because it doesn't really matter.
Don't send those tweets at me.
It's all for fun.
Sure.
Yeah, I said no presh.
I made it cute and everything.
P-R-E-S-H.
That's true.
Presh.
Well, it's adorable.
What's going on with you?
You got any movie things we can look for you in?
I heard you're into Masters of Sex.
Did that one already air?
One was on last night and then another one
will be on this coming Sunday, yes.
Nice. Foot fetishists.
That is correct.
I didn't see it, but that's the
buzz on the street.
Literally it was on the street when Sam said
foot fetishists.
When he walked up.
Fan of the show.
Yeah, well,
thank you for
taking the time out
from your weird,
creepy
sex problem.
It's not a sex problem,
really.
No, you can make it work.
Yeah, it's just
a road bump sometimes.
Yeah.
From what I understand.
Tarantino's made it work out okay.
Does he have a thing?
For feet?
Yeah Oh watch one of his movies
I'll have to do that
Yeah you get really good looks
At Uma Thurman's feet
And Richard Fonda's feet
And feet feet feet
All the time with that guy
And it's also
He does a lot of establishing shots
Of characters with their feet
Hadn't noticed it
Lucy Liu's feet are all bound up, you know,
in Kill Bill. Uh-huh. Yeah.
Foot fetishist.
Look it up. I wrote a
Wikipedia page about it.
Wait, you wrote a Wikipedia page
about...
It's just called... It's a fact.
Tarantino's a foot fetishist, and here's
why. Three examples from eight films. I like the disambiguation. If you were looking for Qu fact Tarantino's a foot fetishist and here's why three examples from eight films
I like the disambiguation if you are looking for Quentin Tarantino film director go here if you're
looking for Quentin Tarantino foot fetishes via Doug Benson click here go over there yeah it's
all out there I mean you know there's a lot of important conspiracies in the world these days
and I'm glad I'm glad I uncovered that one. Me too.
Also, did you know people float in every Spike Lee movie? I'm sorry,
joint. Also joining
us on the panel today,
very funny
comedian, good friend of mine.
He just got back from, we were in the Orlando
show. I don't want to give away the results of the Orlando
show, but he won, so I asked him to come
back tonight.
It's Sean Jordan, everybody.
Yo.
What do you got to say for yourself?
I don't know. Nothing really.
Did you have fun in Orlando?
I had a really good time in Orlando.
Would you be sad if nobody ever hears it?
I will be sad.
It was a good one.
I wouldn't know when I'd hear it.
We're just having trouble getting the audio from the folks at the club.
And when there's trouble getting the audio, there's often not going to be any audio.
But we're getting there, hopefully.
We'll get it.
Yeah, it was a goodie.
We'll see.
I had fun.
I enjoyed it.
Yeah. I mean, there's people listening to that episode right hopefully. We'll get it. Yeah, it was a goodie. We'll see. I had fun. I enjoyed playing.
Yeah, I mean, there's people listening to that episode right now,
or not right now, but you know what I mean.
They'll listen to it, and they'll be like,
then they'll listen to this one and go,
I just heard the Orlando show.
Why are they talking about it?
What's the big deal?
Well, now you know.
That's the beauty of podcasting,
is that you can learn things out of order
so that was a message for people who haven't heard either of these yet that's correct
it's like i saw sully today and sully is you know it's the he he couldn't uh the birds flew
into the engines and he had to land in the river that's the pretty much the whole movie
is telling that.
There's a lot of flashing around.
Speaking of Tarantino, it's got a real Tarantino structure where it starts with the crash
and then goes back to before and then back
to the crash. You get to see the...
Not crash, they land.
It's an important point
Sully makes during the movie. It was not a crash
landing. It was a water landing.
We crashed into the water. It was not a crash landing. It was a water landing. We crashed
into the water.
But anyway, ultimately
it's an inspiring movie and they shot it
all in IMAX and please welcome
I'm talking too much.
Sam the Ma'am is here!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Doug, I'm going to resign my post
working on your Wikipedia page.
I've been sitting on that for like five minutes, guys.
Yeah, it might have been hilarious
if you just spit it right out in the moment.
You moved along too fast, Doug.
No one's ever said that to me in my life.
That's alright.
Alright, dude.
What do you got for the prize bag tonight?
Oh, I got some good stuff.
I have some CDs.
Let's see.
Wolf Mother, their second
album, Cosmic Egg.
That's right.
They're the Australian
Black Sabbath.
And then a band called Rhinoceros? I don't know. That's right. They're the Australian Black Sabbath. Total classic.
And then a band called Rhinoceros?
I don't know.
It's something not good.
But here's some actual good stuff.
So I have a new show for Rooster Teeth called Crunch Time,
which premiered this weekend.
And they gave me a swag bag at a little event,
and it's got some Rooster Teeth stuff in it.
We got a keychain and a neck lanyard thing and then a limited edition action figure
from Laser Team, their feature film.
Look, I don't care if you guys keep this or sell it on eBay,
but it's going in the prize pack.
Thank you very much, Sam.
Pass that nice stuff down here.
And I will put it...
I tried to watch Nice Guys on the plane,
you know, that was on one of the channels
on the TV and the screen,
the seat in front of you.
And at the beginning,
it said edited for content,
and I was like, shit, fuck, because...
You just said that to a baby sitting next to you?
I'm sorry, I didn't say shit, fuck.
I said sheet farm, because that's the kind of nonsense
that they throw in.
At one point, a girl is talking about doing anal.
It says doing anal and stuff.
And they changed the line to doing angles and stuff.
It's like, what's even happening?
In that case, throughout that entire movie,
I thought, oh, this is just Shane Black fucking around
because the things they'd say instead
were more creative than usual,
but also never made much sense, you know?
You know, a lot of what the freak instead of fuck,
which is pretty funny.
What do you got for the prize bag, Sean?
I have
popcorn and Sour Patch Kids, because
that's what I do when I watch movies.
And my roommate gave me three albums
to give away, so this is the third one.
Ian Carmel, he's a very funny comedian. Buy his
album, because I don't have one.
And tweet at Kill Rockstars
to put one out with me, and then I'll have one next time.
And then I found this
at Goodwill, the best of the improv
live comedy from the Legendary Comedy Club
Volume 1. So this came out
in 2003, but it's
fucking old. It's got
David Spade, Steve Harvey,
very young Janine Garofalo. Those are contemporary
names. Yeah, they all stayed in the
game. I'm not saying... Brad Garrett,
he's still around. You just have to look up.
Wow, a rare tall joke.
It's really bucking the
trend there.
You don't want the rest of this stuff?
What? Okay.
You'll take it. Yeah, what was this thing?
Oh, Ian Carmel, yes. I gotta get Ian
Carmel in one or all of my shows, because I've
always heard such nice things about him.
And speaking of nice things and people,
this man, Rich Summers, sauntered up today, tonight,
with a backpack all holstered on your shoulders.
And what magnificent thing did you bring
that you had to carry it in a backpack?
Oh, please tell me it's a Mad Men Emmy.
All right. thing did you bring that you had to carry it in a backpack? Oh, please tell me it's a Mad Men Emmy.
I kind of won an Emmy last night. How did you win an Emmy?
At Midnight won an Emmy for best
something or other show.
An interactive show.
And, you know, I'm on it
one-eighth of the time.
That counts.
Yeah, that counts.
Is that right?
That counts.
One twelfth of the time.
I'm on like once a month.
Anyway.
If Doug Loves Movies
won an award,
does that mean that
we all sort of
won an award as well?
That's how I felt.
Didn't you feel that way
when John Hamm won
for Mad Men?
I took a little credit
for that one. Not at all. I was like, he used to yell at me John Hamm won for Mad Men I took a little credit for that one
not at all
I was like
he used to yell at me
when we played poker
that's how I practiced
being a mean guy
that's a whole different thing
what's in the bag
I brought a couple of games
what's in the backpack
oh games
I have
these are both
from a company
called Big Potato
which is a UK
what nothing don't listen to them okay I have these are both from a company called Big Potato which is a UK what?
nothing
don't listen to them
okay
sorry
somebody had a response
there was hubbub
but then the people
at Bananagrams
have brought them
to the US
so anyway
this one is called
Scrawl
Doodle Your Way
to Disaster
it's a
you know
like a telephone
pictionary type
television
sure
grown up game these both have a parental advisory sticker on them oh be careful It's a telephone Pictionary type, television type grown-up game.
These both have a parental advisory sticker on them.
Oh, be careful.
That's exciting.
And this is the Bucket of Doom.
It says, when the shit hits the fan, you need a plan.
It's the deaf dodging party game.
All right.
Is there a warning on that one,
or do they just figure using the word shit right on there?
It's just a big piece of shit you can only play at one time. You just throw it into a fan. That's right. Is there a warning on that one, or do they just figure using the word shit right on there? It's just a big piece of shit you can only play at one time.
You just throw it into a fan.
That's right.
That's the game.
The real game is the hours of cleanup.
I love these games.
They're awesome.
Hey, Doug, you dropped the games.
Oh, shit.
Thanks. Thanks.
Sure.
Everybody just brought a pile of prizes tonight.
My little CVS bag isn't going to cut it.
So whoever wins tonight, good luck.
I got a t-shirt that somebody handed me that says the joint Santa Anna.
So congratulations for that plug.
Santa Anna?
The joint Santa Anna.
I got a couple of cool novelty items that I found when I was looking through my stuff.
This is a Lost World Jurassic Park watch I think
from Burger King
wow
three
yeah
probably worth something
if you had the other three
but without the whole set
it's probably not worth anything
and then this is kind of fun
remember this movie
Top Secret
for some reason
I got a little
magnifying glass
oh
a broken magnifying glass
oh no that's something else that's a little button somebody gave me Oh, a broken magnifying glass.
Oh, no, that's something else.
That's a little button somebody gave me.
It's like I heart Texas,
but instead of a heart,
it's a weed leaf.
So it's I weed Texas,
which makes no sense.
And yeah, but Top Secret
was starring Val Kilmer.
Yeah.
A little promotional item from that.
That's a real vintage collector's item right there. I think that's probably worth a couple dollars. Yeah. A little promotional item from that. That's a real vintage
collector's item.
Right?
I think that's probably
worth a couple dollars.
Yeah.
So there you go.
That's very special.
And this is a fun thing
I've been giving away.
I got a stack of these
recently.
It's a Phil Bill
Volume 1 comic book
and it's all depictions
of Bill Murray
from his various
films.
Oh, I like that.
Wow.
That's sick.
Your ironic hipster child will have
hours of fun covering that event.
Yeah, maybe an hour of fun.
Love that movie.
If you're lucky. What was that called?
Quick Change. I almost called it Loose Change,
but that's about children.
Co-directed by Bill Murray.
That's right. His directorial debut.
And the last time he did it.
I believe, yes. Getting out of the directing game right Yeah. And the last time he did it. I believe, yes.
Yeah.
Get out of the directing game right away.
And a pipe from Peacemaker.
So all of that is going to be someone's here tonight,
someone that made a lovely name tag that the winning gentleman will choose.
But before we start the games, real quick question.
Sam, last movie you saw.
American Graffiti, which I hadn't seen since I was maybe
nine. And how does it
hold up? I gotta tell ya. I get
the nostalgia. The music is amazing.
And if you grew up in a small town
in the early 60s, I'm sure it was a very
authentic retelling
of what a weekend was like, driving
around, picking people up. But
in terms of how it compares
to, say, modern day storytelling,
not, not,
you know, I think there's a big nostalgia
It's pretty casually paced. Yeah, I think
there's a big nostalgia factor. And you have to be, like, really into,
like, missing the idea of just
sitting in cars on
one road, driving up and down the road
all night. That seems like a very specific experience
that some people had, but
certainly nobody today has
that anymore, I don't think.
Millennials aren't watching
that movie going, yo, I wish I was driving
up and down the street.
And how the only way, spoiler alert,
Richard Dreyfuss can think to get in touch
with Suzanne Somers
in the white T-Bird. Oh yeah, I mean it spawned
a million stars. Like everybody in it
went on to have big careers.
Yeah, Harrison Ford had a small part. He's wearing
a cowboy hat the whole time. Because he wouldn't
cut his long hair. Yeah, and he
would go back to his job as a carpenter, I think
after they wrapped the shooting and then
Han Solo came along
a little bit later.
I'm such a film historian.
A little bit later, another thing happened in his career.
Deckard, anyone?
What about you, Sean?
Last movie you saw, I might already know the answer, right?
We were together this weekend.
Sounds funny when you say it.
It does.
I saw, well, I kept,
I forget to bring it up on the last two,
but I saw Now You See Me 2.
I don't know why you would do that.
Is time just not precious to you?
Do you not live every moment
as if it's your last?
He died doing what he loved.
I just love a good magic movie.
Not loving a movie.
I just love a good realistic magic movie.
I sure do like all those actors, though.
I feel bad when they all are so committed to something so silly.
Because it's silly, right?
Yeah, I didn't even say my opinion.
It might be my favorite movie that I've ever seen.
It's not?
It might be.
I mean, it's not the best movie I've ever seen.
I'll say that.
Okay, so thank you for rounding it down
to not the best or the worst.
Somewhere in that vast space in between.
I don't want to be mean.
Yeah, just throw that into the movie chasm
between best ever and worst ever.
It's right in the middle.
Yeah, a big stack of million movies.
Inspire us, Rich.
Tell us about a great movie.
I rewatched Creepshow the other day.
How is that these days?
Still the best.
I don't know that it's...
You just love it so much unconditionally.
I have no ability to be able to tell you
if it's any good.
I think if somebody sat down and watched it for the first time, I would have, I don't know how they would respond.
But I love it so much.
I think I saw it the first time when I was maybe nine.
I had a Creepshow birthday party for my 11th birthday party.
Cool parents.
The best, man.
Yeah, anyway anyway it was
I still love it I
asked Ed Harris
if it was his favorite movie that he was
ever in that's a bold question
it was it was one of those
where I was the man's in Apollo 13
it was it was the
first day that I had ever
been one-on-one with him it was we did
a play together this winter,
and there's this part of the play where I'm laying down on the couch,
and he's sitting on the floor next to me,
and it was our first day on our feet,
and I've not had a conversation with him at all.
And I was laying there, and they were all chatting about something,
and we were just kind of sitting there, and I said,
Hey, Ed, is Creepshow your favorite movie you've ever been in?
And he kind of looked at me and he said,
I think I danced in that movie.
And I said, you did?
If you get the chance to YouTube Ed Harris' Creepshow
to see the dance he does,
it is a lot like Elaine's dance on site strangest it's the dance
and I have all the respect in the world for this man by the way but it is the dance of those toys
that when you push the button on the bottom the strings go limp yeah yeah and then they snap back they limp up and yeah it's that dance okay that'll be fine i'll google that or youtube it there's probably a youtube clip
yeah i think i can squeeze that into the rest of my night
if i were in that same position if i were acting in uh the play barry child with him, I would whisper,
is The Rock your favorite movie?
Because I just saw him in that again recently,
and boy, he really committed to it.
He's so mad at that movie. He's a really committed bad guy.
Yeah, he's going to kill people
because of all the people who've been killed.
Is that movie still good?
Yes, it's pretty fun.
Yeah, because
I really liked that movie.
Fucking Nicolas Cage
pulls some lines out
that are just
that are just ridiculous.
Yeah, now I can't even remember the
Paper or plastic?
Yeah.
That's a real line.
But he says something like
what in the name of
Zeus's butthole
at one point. Yep, real line. But he says something like, what in the name of Zeus's butthole at one point?
Yep, real line.
It's really incredible.
I mean, it gets the point across for sure.
Oh, yeah.
What?
He's yelling it?
No, no, he gets really worked up.
Stanley Goodspeed is his name.
So it's pretty good stuff.
Doesn't that movie end with people finding the answer
to the Kennedy assassination?
Among many other things.
Yeah, the microfilm.
A whole bunch of shit.
Spoilers, spoilers.
Hidden in the front leg of a pew.
Yeah.
A lot going on.
A lot going on.
Yeah, they shot it at Alcatraz,
and Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage
did so much scenery chewing,
Alcatraz is not there anymore.
It's no longer a thing.
Is that what happened?
Yeah, that's what happened.
It got ate up by those two guys.
I can't hear the name Alcatraz
without thinking about Malkatraz.
What's that?
That's what Charlie Sheen calls John Malkovich in Being John Malkovich. He calls him Malkatraz. What's that? It's what Charlie Sheen calls John Malkovich in Being John Malkovich.
He calls him Malkatraz?
He goes, Malkatraz!
And he goes, The Machine.
Alright.
Malkatraz.
This is the part of the show,
Bert, turn it off. Let the games begin!
We got some good name tags for you guys to choose from.
So, gentlemen, go grab one.
While you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
Hey, you guys.
There's no ad in this episode. I just wanted to take a moment while name tags are being chosen to thank you for listening.
Thank you for your continued support.
And be sure to check out my new show, Pitch Off, on Screen Junkies Plus. I think you can still see the first episode for free.
Plus. I think you can still see the first episode for free,
but then
you gotta buy Screen Junkies
Plus to watch the show.
A new episode every couple of weeks.
Me, as a
studio executive, taking
pitches from great comics
and
show business types like
Sam Levine, Matt
Besser, Megan Nuringer, Steve Agee, and more.
It's Pitch Off at Screen Junkies Plus.
I bet you ScreenJunkiesPlus.com will get you there and get you all the details.
Thanks again.
Back to the show.
All right, we're back. Who do you
got there, Sam? I have got
Oh boy, it's a big one.
Oh, this is the one with the red vines and the
bottle caps. Crystal
Blanca.
I said the same fucking thing.
Everybody makes the same mistake,
but Crystal Blanca
is what
we're going to call you.
It's got you on it, and but Crystal Blanca is what we're going to call you. Crystal Blanca.
It's got you on it, and
I don't know, is that supposed to be?
No, it's a cartoon me.
Oh, okay.
It's a cartoon version of her.
I assume you're Krista.
Yeah.
All right, so it's got you and Krista on it.
Her real name is Krista White.
Definitely going to win Best Picture.
All right.
Good job, Sam and Krista.
You guys are going to be a great team.
I feel it.
Jeff F.K.
Jeff F.K.
Yep.
You picked the movie that you should name whenever you're stumped in any of the games on this show
because it has a lot of actors in it.
Yeah, it sure does.
So you might be right if you say JFK.
Yeah, totally.
And that's the director's cut you're holding right there. Damn right it is. Yeah, that does. So you might be right if you say JFK. Yeah, totally. And that's the director's cut
you're holding right there.
Damn right it is.
Yeah, that's the director's cut.
Few people know
that it includes me
smoking a J.
Just to add to the mystery.
Yeah, like,
what's this guy,
what's he up to?
He seems grassy.
I don't know if there's
a Noel involved.
Did you see that
it's starring
Kevin Costoner? Oh, I didn't know if there's a Noel involved. Did you see that it's starring Kevin Costoner?
Oh, I didn't see that!
Son of a bitch!
It still says...
It still says...
Oh, an Oliver Stone film?
Did you put a D on Stone?
No.
Oh, lazy.
You idiot.
God damn it.
You lazy idiot.
Get the fuck out of here, Jeff K.
You look like a real fucking asshole, Jeff.
You stupid. You put an O
in Constance. You're not stupid. It's alright.
Oliver Stone alone.
You dumb shit.
Tensions run high up here.
Don't sweat it, dog.
We're all gonna fight after the show.
Everyone in the room.
It's alright.
Then I should read this thing
on the back or no? Oh no. Jesus.
It's a matter of who's not funny.
Sean's just having fun. He didn't know you.
Just messing. Just fooling about.
Well of course you had to pick this Rich.
Yeah. It's a Harry Potter
clue box and
luckily Lou told me that his name
is Lou.
Because otherwise there wouldn't be any indication. To certain that from the word clue. Oh that his name is Lou. Because otherwise, there wouldn't be a communication. It's really hard to discern that from the word clue.
Oh, his name must be Lou.
It's like he scribbled out a C or something, but he didn't.
Anyway.
And he didn't make it Harry Pothead?
Oh, fucking idiot.
Get out of here.
You stupid shithead.
You and Jeff look like the Russian roulette when you come back.
Stupid Lou.
I'm going to scribble out all these shitheads.
What's your nickname at the office?
Dumb Lou?
It's all right.
Don't listen to him.
You can go back to the office tomorrow.
They won't even know.
It's going to be out for a few days.
He doesn't have a job.
We're not pasting Doug Benson's face on a Harry Potter board game at work.
Well, excellent job choosing those name tags
and then throwing them to the floor.
No, that's a good place for it, seriously.
I like it like that,
because then I can look down and go,
Jeffk.
Jeffk, Lou.
Jeffk.
Crystal Blanca
Put yours down on the floor, Sam
Okay
This first game we're gonna play
I didn't notice it was blinking
It was heavier than I thought it was gonna be
There's candy that weighs it at the top
Yeah
And it's still very blinky.
It's like a dying blinky thing.
I do love a bottle cap.
Is that a Pac-Man reference?
Bottle caps are pretty good.
They're really good.
Yeah, it's a deep come and go.
If I make a Pac-Man reference, Sam,
the word Clyde is going to be spoken.
Here we go.
First game.
I had a root canal last week.
What?
Starting with the excuses already?
I was just thinking about it.
I was looking at those bottle caps and how much I want to eat them. I was just thinking then about this.
You can eat them now.
They would hurt?
No, I eat them now.
I mean, you already had the root canal.
Yeah, I got this fake, I got a temporary crown on the back here.
Doug loves dental surgery.
It's a shorter theme song than I ever called it.
I just thought this would be
a good side of the job.
What's your favorite flavor
of bottle cap?
Root beer.
Root beer, yes.
You just won all the games
tonight, Rich.
Are there five different
flavors that I'm seeing?
No, there's grape on it.
Wait.
Yeah, grape, orange.
Grape soda, orange soda.
It's all the great sodas.
Sorry, I left out soda. Just regular old soda. You got Fres grape on there. Wait. Yeah, grape, orange. Grape soda, orange soda. It's all the great sodas. Sorry.
I left out soda.
Just regular old soda.
You got Fresca on there.
Tab.
Crystal Pepsi.
Crystal.
I get it.
I get it.
I see what you did.
The first game we're going to play is called Live, Die, Repeat.
I'm going to say
the name of a motion picture
and the first one of you
that repeats it back
is the winner.
I was on the episode where this game might have been
I'm going to play my own game. Slap the mic out of everybody else's mouth.
I think I'll still be able to hear them.
I want to understand the simplicity of this.
Okay.
Wrap your head around it.
You say the name of a movie.
This is like classic actor moment,
the way you're rubbing your eyes
with your glasses up on your forehead.
We just told you if we don't talk to him in 30 minutes...
Like Brian Keith on Family Affair used to do that all the time.
Okay, so...
Very old reference.
You're saying you hit him in the face.
I say the name of a movie,
first person to repeat it back wins.
It is that simple.
There's no tricks really to it.
It's just a ridiculous way to determine
who's going to go first in the next game we play.
Snappy.
When you do that,
I think it sounds like when a bug hits a zapper.
It does.
And there's some crickets in this room,
so I keep thinking, the crickets just went into a zapper?
It's right down there.
There it is.
It's the zapper.
Little bug zapper.
Do you think, Ryan,
do you think that the listeners can hear the crickets at all?
They can? Yeah? That's awesome.
Welcome back
to, if you're just joining us, we're doing the show
on a bayou tonight.
Wish you could see
the fireflies. They're just beautiful.
Live, die, repeat.
I'm going to say the name
of a movie.
Here we go.
Sully.
Jesus Christ.
Sam was just so much fun.
Hang on, hang on, hang on. I'm sorry. I'm not finished.
Vince travels.
No, I'm kidding. It's Sully.
I think Sam got in the fastest, right?
Yeah.
That was so close, though.
It was so close between two Two of you said it really fast
And the third one had a heart attack
I still haven't said it
It's too upsetting
My heart's beating faster now than any time I've ever done stand up
I wish you'd said it Rich
Because if three people yell Sully in succession
He appears
But we can't see him
He goes to the bathroom
The miracle far from the Hudson.
Would that be a fun show
for me to do? Like try to put together a show where the
only people invited are the people
from that plane?
Just do a show
for them?
Like how they screen Pearl Harbor
for all those vets?
I don't know how many fans I had
on that plane.
Probably zero based on my
plane travel.
Nobody says anything to me.
Alright, so Sam won that game, so he
gets to go first in the next game.
I know.
It's quite a privilege.
The next game is going to be... You know what I just realized?
What's that?
The next game?
Yeah, I realized what the next game is going to be, but usually
it's Last Man Stanton.
And usually people
send me... I've got the perfect name
for Last Man Stanton messages all day,
but I don't remember seeing any today.
You're a reserved crowd. You did?
What's your Twitter name?
Jews in Reviews?
Well, I have a hate blocker on my...
So you tweeted at me.
Do you remember?
Can you paraphrase your tweet?
I have the perfect name.
I have the perfect name.
You won't be sorry.
You won't be sorry.
It's going to knock your dick in the dirt.
You didn't put something like that in there, did you?
I'm going to sit like a weird loner in the front row
with a strange light on the side of my face.
It's all right.
Pick me, pick me.
What's your actual name?
Can you say it?
Ben.
Ben.
Good job, Ben.
I think he's Jewish, guys.
Do you know how to pronounce your own name, Ben?
All right, so Ben is gonna give us
the name of an actor or actress
and we'll start with Sam and then we'll go
to Sean and
Rich and then me.
I like to play along on this one but I can't
win. And each of you guys
get one lifeline and that is
the person that you're playing for.
Krista and Jeff
and Kaloo.
Stupid Lou. Are your... Don't listen to him, look. Krista and Jeff and Kalu stupid Lou
are your
don't listen to him look
you just start thinking of movies
all of them
so yeah
you can go to him any time so you might want to go to
might want to go to dumb Lou early
and
when he might actually have
an answer
sometimes when you go to your lifeline when he might actually have an answer.
He's going to have a bad answer.
Sometimes when you go to your lifeline late,
they've run out of answers as well.
It's pretty tough, and the crickets aren't going to help.
If you run out of answers, Jeff.
Unless we're playing... I don't even want to bring it up.
If we're playing Gary Busey, then that would be a clue.
The crickets.
The crickets.
No one?
Buddy Holly story.
Lost me again.
That's why I said crickets.
What do you got for us there, Ben?
Giovanni Ribisi.
Giovanni Ribisi!
Everybody's going to go home early tonight.
I love it! No, I'm so on board. Everybody's going to go home early tonight. I love it.
No, I'm so on board.
All right.
Sam's super into it.
Let's do it.
I'm never going to call on you again, Ben.
Giovanni Ribisi.
Are you fucking kidding me, Ben?
Here we go.
Of the Ribisi acting dynasty.
Who's shitting your cereal today, Ben?
He's got a redheaded sister. Marissa. Marissa. Dazed anditting your cereal today, Ben? He's got a red-headed sister.
Marissa.
Dazed and confused, right, that girl?
Yep.
But he does not appear in that one.
Good pull, Sam.
That's a fun game idea.
Let's name movies that don't have Giovanni
Ribisi in them.
Even Lou could do that.
Sweet Lou. Don't Lou. It's alright, man. Don't listen.
You're good.
Okay.
Alright, so
what do you got there for us?
I'm going to start off with some of his leading man work.
Boiler Room.
That's one of my two, Doug.
Let's see if we can knock out the other one right now.
Oh, well, here we go, Sean.
Gone in 60 seconds.
Okay, very good.
That wasn't the other one?
Mm-mm.
All right.
You can, you know, don't forget about your lifeline.
You don't want to guess wrong.
Do you still have your other one?
I have my other one.
Okay, go ahead.
Lost in Translation.
Yes, Lost in Trans.
Lost in Trans.
Sorry for blowing those extra syllables.
Just trying to extend this game.
The Giovanni Ribisi.
I think I just got to do my duty here
and just knock off a super obvious one
and go with Avatar.
What?
Yeah.
What?
That's not an obvious one?
Somebody in the audience was stunned.
I would never have got Avatar.
Never would have got it.
I will go with another,
what I consider a pretty obvious one,
Saving Private Ryan.
No?
Not that obvious? I guess I should have sat what I consider a pretty obvious one. Saving Private Ryan. No? Not that obvious?
Guess I should have sat on that one a little longer.
He played Wade, the medical officer.
All right. Good night.
Well, hang on. Let me keep track of your zero bonus points.
And for those of you listening, the look given
wasn't a good one.
No.
Sort of a fuck you
kind of look.
Sean?
The gift?
He's in the gift?
There's two gifts.
The first one.
Oh, the one with...
You're right.
Very good.
No, I'm right.
All right.
Still zero bonus points.
This is all going according to my plan
I laid out for you in that private tweet earlier.
I'm going to go to Lou Hey Lou
I need you buddy
Help me out
As Ted Knight would say
Basic
Basic
Do you want to go with that?
Do you want to say basic?
I don't know.
Rich?
What's your instinct on this one?
Do you want to go with basic?
My instinct is that Lou is an idiot.
And so it's hard to go with something he'd say.
So you don't really, you don't appreciate his basic instinct?
Thanks for being on the show. Thanks for being on the show.
Thanks for having me, guys.
We'll validate your point.
Yeah, I'll go with basic.
Sure.
Seems like he should be in that.
Why the hell not?
He's become quite the character actor.
Oh! What are you cheering for? why the hell not he's could become quite the character actor oh
what are you cheering for uh i because i just thought of one that's fair i think i want to hold that one i'm gonna hang on to that one for a second i don't
know what sam's up to over there uh i'm gonna go with the other sister ah it was my next one what do you got
you got nothing
oh Sam's going to his lifeline
that's cool
just make up a movie
like Lou did
he's not gonna challenge it
no he's not in that
it's alright
he's in a movie called
Middlemen
you dickhead
You had it
I'm gonna lose
Middlemen
It's not The Middlemen
No it's just called Middlemen
Okay
It's not The Diamondmen
No it's pretty basic
It's not The Monumentsmen
Well Ted No, it's pretty basic. It's not the Monuments Men?
Well, Ted.
Ted.
Nicely done.
That'll bring Rich right back into this.
My name is Earl.
Oh.
Such, said with such confidence. I believe you'll find he was in that. Oh. Move it along.
Said with such confidence.
I believe you'll find he was in that.
Damn it.
String a bunch of episodes together.
You got a feature film.
And then some.
All right, you're out.
A million ways to die in the West.
Ted 2.
You son of a bitch.
How did it take that long?
What do you got, Jeff?
I had the other sister.
I didn't ask what you had.
I didn't ask for what's going to be useless.
I'm looking for help.
That toilet paper was flushed, my man.
What do you think, man?
You got anything?
Just close your eyes and be like, oh, there he is.
Rabisi.
Oh, Rabisi.
Welcome back to your
homeland, Rabisi.
Nope. Nothing? That didn't help? Welcome back to your homeland, Rabeesee! No.
Nothing?
That didn't help?
Avatar 2.
Maybe he's in the Italian job?
No, that's Seth Green.
What was your guess?
Avatar 2.
Avatar 2?
I don't know.
He was a villain in Avatar, so he might not come back.
Avatar 2.
I don't know. And that's also years in, so he might not come back. Avatar 2. I don't know.
And that's also years in production.
Yeah, it hasn't come out yet.
It turns, I think James Cameron
is trying to make that whole planet real first.
Yeah.
Yep, that's the next step.
I mean, that 3D's gotta be
the most amazing shit ever
if he's spending this much time on it.
So you're out, Sean.
Did you ever use Jeff?
Oh, he couldn't think of anything.
Well, he thought of Other Sister earlier.
Yeah, he did.
Yeah, Jeff and Lou are gonna ride home together.
It's one of Ribisi's more memorable turns,
that Other Sister.
Fuck.
Friends, he was on Friends.
He sure was.
Twice.
Well, it played two different characters.
What?
Really? Yeah, the first one was... But one was on a lot, like was. Twice. Well, he played two different characters. What? Really?
Yeah, the first one. But one was on a lot.
Like the character that was the father.
Frank Jr. Yeah.
The character he played was in a season two episode where he throws a condom
accidentally into Phoebe's music case
when she's playing street music. And then he runs
back for it and goes, uh, did I
accidentally drop a condom in your case?
She's like, yeah, here you go. And then he says,
hey, Janine
or Francine, I got it. And then runs away.
And then we see him again the following season as Frank
Jr.
Do you ever wish for stuff you didn't remember?
No, Mary Lou
Henner is my mother.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, she remembers
details to an upsetting degree, but this is getting there. Well, uh... I mean, she remembers details to an upsetting degree,
but this is getting there.
Well, I happen to mention
one of my favorite shows of all time.
I don't know.
All right.
What's the next, uh...
Well, okay, this is fun game.
When Tom Lennon was on, friends,
what was his character?
He was a Vegas stealer.
He played Blackjack.
I was actually at that episode's taping.
Wow, we're going deep here yeah that episode what was special about him as a dealer
in vegas he was he was joey's hand double joey joey uh his identical hand twin yeah joey decided
that this guy was his hand twin and just kept stalking him and saying, we're hand twins. The single most ridiculous
I will not buy it plot line
in the history of that series.
It's so stupid.
It's way stupider than Joey ever should be.
Yeah.
My mom calls it Bloomies.
That, of course, was a brilliant moment.
That show peaked at season five
because Matthew Perry was on so much drugs
he doesn't remember it.
All right, here we go.
Let's finish this thing up.
I gave you a lot of time to really sit
and think about Giovanni.
Who are you giving time to?
Yeah, I feel like...
It's on you.
These guys are both out.
It went to you.
It's just you and me now, Sam?
Yeah, man.
Do you have another one? Yeah. He's got both out. It went to you. It's just you and me now, Sam? Yeah, man. Do you have another one?
Yeah.
He's got another one.
Son of a bitch.
Is it an animated thing?
No.
I bet she's the voice in an animated thing.
It probably is.
Yeah.
Oh, it's out right now.
The Wildlife.
I'm kidding.
All right.
Take it home, Sam.
What's your last one?
It's a movie called Columbus Circle,
which I also happen to be in.
What? You just had that one holstered till the end? What's your last one? It's a movie called Columbus Circle, which I also happen to be in.
What?
You just had that one holstered till the end?
Of course.
But you don't have another one?
No, no.
I'd have to sit and think for a while.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
But we did pretty good, I think. We did all right.
I think we cleared the table for the most part, but let's check with the audience.
What did we miss?
That thing you do.
That thing you do?
What did he do in that?
He was the first drummer.
The first drummer.
Okay.
Mod Squad.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, with What's Her Name and the Other Guy.
And Omar Epps.
Yeah, those were them.
What else?
Heaven.
Heaven?
Cate Blanchett.
Cate Blanchett? Cate Blanchett?
I didn't even know that.
What the hell is that?
I thought you were saying
that you murdered him
earlier today.
He's in heaven.
I wanted to wait
till the end
to tell you.
Next time you see
Ed Harris,
tell him that.
Just tell him,
Giovanni Rubisi's in heaven.
That's a pretty good hashtag for this show.
Giovanni Rubisi's in heaven.
Isn't he a Scientologist?
That could start an unnecessary panic.
You'd be the dickhead.
I went on Twitter today and said I was seeing Sully
and a couple different people tweeted at me
that Tom Hanks was dead, like as a joke.
And it was a bummer.
Never a joke.
That's not a good joke.
Not a good joke at all.
Lou, don't ever do that.
What a weird weekend for him to die.
Sully breaks all records.
Tom Hanks dead.
And really break records the next weekend
notice how I'm not smiling
Joe vs. the Volcano
is my favorite Tom Hanks movie
I decided that
while watching Sully
okay
Sully was not a contender
can we play that game real quick?
My favorite Tom Hanks movie.
Yeah, please.
What's your favorite?
Sleepless in Seattle.
We might as well play this game since he died today.
Aw, don't even joke about it.
He didn't die.
He's a national treasure.
He's going to die.
He's not in that.
He's totally going to die, though.
The Money Pit.
Whoa, really?
Yeah.
That's a controversial choice.
For his performance?
Oh, okay.
I just, yeah.
I went more favorite overall movie.
Featuring Tummy.
Maybe, yeah.
Well, I might still stand by it.
Really?
Yeah, what?
What, Philadelphia?
No.
What does he say when he's all delusional,
when he's like been stuck in the carpet
and the ceiling for a long time
and Shelley Long finally comes home?
Here!
Oh, thank you. Right, but then doesn't he say that he
hallucinated that some Care Bears came by?
I think so, yeah.
It's like so weird.
Alright.
Mine's Punchline, by the way.
No it isn't. You're a liar.
The Comedy Locker Room. Why, did you see it?
Just at the right age or something?
Sure. Because it's terrible, right? Yeah, it's not
a good movie. It's ridiculous. But you enjoy
watching it. I do because he is good in it.
He acts like a stand-up,
like an 80s stand-up
really authentically.
He does. He's a very authentic
shtick heavy
80s New York comic
who never would have been mainstream
or not mainstream, who would have been
too mainstream, would have sold out rooms
in Iowa.
In that contest that never existed to get on
The Tonight Show,
he did a great thing there
when he just went up and improvised
an entire set of new material
that he had never tried before.
And it killed. It worked out great for him.
I'm so glad it did because it makes for a happier ending in the movie.
Right.
Because that guy in real life killed himself.
Which guy?
Stephen Gold?
No.
Who's that?
The character that he plays.
Oh, no.
That's a character.
Who killed himself?
What are you talking about?
Tom Hanks today.
We've been talking about it.
You didn't say it was suicide.
Well, I thought it was sad enough.
I didn't want to bring up that part of it.
Oh, God damn it.
I was gone. I was way
out of there.
I was at a different airport. I didn't know
what was going on.
I had
no idea what you were talking about.
Yeah, I didn't know what I was
talking about either.
I'm just so excited right now because since we do have three great game players
and we recently completed the tournament of championships once and for all over at,
you can get that on iTunes for two bucks, the Super Duper edition,
where some would argue, Sam of Levine included, that Matt
Myra and Jon Hamm teamed up
against him.
It's alright. I was happy to
play. Playing was the fun part for me.
It ends up being part of the strategy and it's a
shitty part of the strategy but I know we've
got some, you know, you guys all want to win
tonight so I hope that you don't
hold back because we're going to play
old school Lenny Malt right now.
Yeah, you thought you'd
never get to play this game again, Rich,
but here it is in your face.
This is good. So yeah,
gird your loins, as they say
in one of my favorite of your films,
The Devil Wears Prada.
What does that mean?
It means take your fucking dick and balls or your vagina area
and just strap it in.
Get it ready.
Get it girded.
Fucking gird that shit.
Because a very powerful woman
is about to walk through the room.
Jeff, I need some help to gird my loins
before the game.
I got you. That's how it goes. Yeah, I need some help to gird my loins before the game. I got you.
That's how it goes.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think I even looked up on the Wikipedia page I wrote about it.
I think I looked up to see what I wrote about it, and I forgot.
Do you know what it really means, Rich, to gird your loins?
No, I think you might have been right.
I think that's about it.
Yeah.
That's the basic idea of it.
All right.
So we're going to play the Leonard Maltin game
and Sam
won the last game so he gets to go first.
He gets to pick the first category
and then we'll go to you Rich and then to Sean
and we'll switch the order each round.
First person to get to two points
will be our
winner and
I think that's all I needed to say.
I've been able to continue the game
because of the book a lovely man gave me
in Atlanta, Georgia
that is just full of categories
so I don't have to use the app
that doesn't exist anymore.
And I made up some names for some of the categories
but he really mapped it out all very nicely
so I figured we might as well play these out.
Let's do it.
Right?
I'm very excited.
All right.
Sean, let me check in with you.
How excited are you?
This is like when you're in the exit row on the plane, and you've got to get a verbal
yes from each person that you're willing to assist in an emergency.
You know, everyone on that plane was a hero.
They all got out of there.
I was kind of loving it.
They should have fucking been.
I was terrified.
They got out of there. I was kind of loving it. They should have fucking been. I was terrified. They got out of there very efficiently and safely.
One lady just jumped into the water for no good reason, really.
But they got her out of there.
The guy in flippers jumped out of a helicopter.
I don't want to spoil too much of this movie, you guys.
Yes.
Rich, are you ready?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
I was looking for a yes.
It wasn't a yes.
Oh, sorry.
I needed a yes.
That was really nice of that person to make that book for you.
Yeah.
So we could play this game more.
It looks like it's painting you, right?
Are you going to throw up?
I might.
Look, I remember Doug saying, oh, yeah, the Leonard Maltin game is basically dead because
the app doesn't work anymore.
Basic.
Basically dead.
Jesus, you're right.
Yeah.
I should have paid attention.
Yeah.
It's all right, man.
I wouldn't worry about it.
We're all right.
Yeah, we're good.
It's going to be fine.
It's going to be fine.
I'm ready.
All right, Sam.
Yes, sir.
Which one of these categories would you like to start with?
X-Ray?
That's movies with X in the title
or a song by Ray Charles on the soundtrack?
That's my favorite part of the game.
Or would you like
Bye Bye Leonard Maltin?
Bye Bye Leonard Mton Bye Bye Leonard Malton game app
and the answer is going to be
one of the last movies that
he reviewed on the app
before it was
as it died
or the do-over
and that's movies with a title
that has been used previously
let's do and that's movies with a title that has been used previously.
Ooh.
Let's do Bye Bye Leonard Maltin.
There was a show on TV called The Do-Over, by the way,
so The Do-Over is also an example of that.
You want to do the Leonard Maltin thing?
Yeah, sure.
All righty.
Sure.
The year of this motion picture,
the same year that the app died, coincidentally,
is 2014.
Yes.
He says about this movie,
he gives it two and a half stars,
and he calls it a great true life story.
Which, you know, most great true life stories
only get two and a half stars.
And then he says it was based on a book.
And he lists nine names.
And I figure you probably want to open the bidding
with negative nine names.
I will open the bidding with zero names.
Oh, no, it's happening already, you guys.
The domination is back.
Sean, Jordan, what are you going to do with this?
I know it.
I just can't name one person in the movie.
Oh, interesting.
I could be wrong.
You could be.
Yeah, I think you might be wrong.
Really?
Well, I know people in this movie.
I'm looking right at it.
I'm like, these are people that I know.
I think I know.
There's only one name on here I don't know.
Maybe two.
Well, then I'm wrong.
Name it. Is it the Monuments Men? maybe two what's one that I'm wrong let's uh name it
is it the
Monuments Men
that is correct
I was wrong
Monuments Men
I didn't know it
I thought it was
Life of Pi
that's from
2014
based on a true story I really thought it was Life of Pi two and a half 2014. Based on a true story.
I really thought
it was Life of Pi.
Two and a half stars.
A book.
It's a book, right?
All of that's true?
Yeah.
Was it from 2014?
No.
It's interesting
you fixated on that.
I'd be interested
to see how they could
come up with nine actors
about a movie
with a kid on a boat
with a tiger.
That's why I didn't
know anything.
Therein lies my problem.
It's all Andy Serkis eight times
for playing the tiger.
The actor's not just named the tiger, you know what I mean?
Totally, man.
Alright, so
Sean challenged
Sam. See, Sean, there was a place
where you could have done the
arguably the dick move.
Yeah, I could.
And you could have said negative one, then Rich would have challenged you,
and then you would have failed, and Rich would have gotten the point.
Mm-hmm.
But Sam's got a point, so now he's just one away from winning.
Sorry, everyone.
Wow.
He won't win.
Don't be sorry.
No.
You played it admirably and stupidly.
Giving Rich the point isn't necessarily a good idea
because Rich could then get two points.
Yeah, totally.
I think you did the right thing, Sean.
Don't let Doug make you feel bad.
I don't think Sean was questioning anything.
I was doing just fine.
I was having a good time.
Now I feel like a fucking asshole.
I apologize.
Rich gets to pick, and then it'll go to Sean.
Would you like Moon Over
My Hammy?
That's movies.
One guy in the back, heh.
We should
get together with the crickets and form a band.
Moon Over My Hammy
is movies with a scene that takes place
at Denny's or featuring Jon Hamm.
Days of Future Past.
That's movies with a specific day in the title.
Or... Days of Future Past 2.
Movies with the word days in the title.
Which one of those beauties do you want to try?
I guess I have to do Moon Over My Hand.
You don't have to.
I feel compelled.
All right, that's what you're going with?
Yeah.
Okay.
The year is 2014.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
Got it.
Did you say got it?
I was kidding.
Oh, got it.
Leonard says the screenplay hits more than a few predictable notes.
And he also says it's not bad.
Which is a criticism we heard earlier this evening about the movie that Sean saw.
Ten names, Rich.
Yeah.
What are you going to do with that?
Are you going to go
low number, zero, or
negative?
You remember how negative names works, right?
Yeah, I do. I'm trying to remember
the name of this movie that I'm trying to remember the name of this movie
that I'm trying to remember the name of.
Oh, okay.
Because I see so many things in my head.
Sugar Plum, you're a therapist now?
Yeah.
God damn it, what was that movie called?
All right, so you're not bidding from a place of strength.
No, I'm going to say...
But maybe some names will help you to figure it out.
Yeah, maybe.
No, but I only have one.
I'm going to say negative one.
Negative one?
He's going negative one, Sean.
All right.
Wait, say a bid.
Don't say names.
Well, no.
I haven't played the game in a while,
so I'm just trying to figure out
if I say name it, he gets it wrong,
I get the point.
If I say name it, he gets it right,
he gets the point.
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay, name it.
Just think about it for a second.
Yeah, think about your decision, Sean.
Those lights kind of look like bug zappers,
is what I just noticed.
We were talking about bug zappers earlier.
So that's me thinking about it.
Ah.
All right, so it's on me, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's that one where...
What the hell is going on?
Sounds like you're talking to Ed Harris again.
You can talk about it. None of us are going to help you, but you can sounds like you're talking to Ed Harris you can talk about it
none of us are going to help you but you can say whatever you're thinking
it's not like somebody can come in and steal
well the only movie
I'm thinking of
is this movie
with
John Hamm
and
there's
they play baseball.
I mean,
he gets those kids to play
baseball. Oh, the
baseball town. Yes.
It's just
something just like that.
I feel like it starts with an
M. The man who came to
baseball's town.
The mayor of the town called baseball town.
Okay, it's...
Sam, you certainly know this.
Oh, yeah, I could have gotten negative two on this shit.
Oh, I know what it is.
It's bride's balls.
Okay.
That's why one of us had to get the point.
I'm never going to think of the name of it.
I don't know why it's escaping me.
Am I thinking of the right movie?
We better make sure John doesn't listen to this episode.
There's no other movie,
even remotely in my brain,
other than this one
that I can't think of the name of.
You're not thinking about The Matrix just a little bit?
Nope.
I'm always thinking about it.
The Matrix does have a Denny's in it Just a little bit
Alright, so you give up?
Constantly
John Hamm is the name
It was a fun struggle
Sam's over there giving vis-
Oh no, you were doing a baseball thing
so he already knows that part
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.
I give up.
I lose.
But is it the one that I'm thinking of?
Yeah, of course.
That's the movie you're thinking of.
It does have a slightly hard-to-remember name.
It does start with an M.
It does.
It's called A Million Ways to Die with Your Arm.
A Million Dollar Arm.
That's it.
A Million Dollar Arm.
That's the one.
Is Lake Bell number two?
A Million Dollar Arm.
That would have had a...
In my book, she is.
Damn right.
No, Asif Manvi got the number two slot.
Really?
Is that the million-dollar arm?
No, he's his assistant who helps him to find the guys and train them.
God damn it.
Indian baseball.
They teach cricket players how to play baseball.
Yeah, I know.
I saw that.
And they have some success with it.
It's inspirational.
And I, of course, left out some of the nicer things that Leonard said about it.
He says the screenplay hits more than a few predictable notes,
but as sports underdog movies go, it's not bad.
Yeah.
That's the full quote.
So there you go.
All right, so Sean's on the board.
Sean's got a point.
Sam's got a point.
Way to go.
You can do this, Rich.
You're putting too much pressure on yourself.
I flop sweat on my body.
Is it?
Hey, what was the name of that?
You shot all the interiors of the ad agency
in Mad Men in a building downtown.
What's it called?
LA Center Studios.
I don't need to talk about this now. ad agency in Mad Men in a building downtown. What's it called? LA Center Studios.
We'll talk, you know,
I don't need to talk about this now.
I'm sad I even brought it up.
But I just shot something there and it was exciting just to be
in the same place where Mad Men was shot.
You know, there's a tree
inside the back. Listen, I don't have time for this.
Oh, okay.
What about the tree? There's a tree where we all carved our inside the back. Listen, I don't have time for this. Oh, okay. Yeah.
What about the tree?
There's a tree where we all carved our initials.
What?
We shaved out the side of the tree and then we carved our initials on the last day.
I should have texted you from the set.
Is there a fucking tree here?
I agree.
I should have thought there might have been
something special for me to look for,
like you might have left a gum under a desk or something.
Seems like a Harry Crane move.
All right, so who challenged who there?
Sean and...
Sean challenged me.
Yeah, yeah.
So we start with Sam and then go to Sean.
Sam gets to pick the next category.
Would you like...
It's always Someone from Philadelphia.
Movies with one or more cast members from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Oh no, this is, this turns out to be quite commemorative after his suicide today.
How dare you. How dare you.
Hanks for the ride
It's movies with Tom Hanks
On a plane, a boat, a rocket
Or a train
Oh god bless
That's fucking dope
Or
Halloweed
And that's movies featuring
Jamie Lee Curtis that I
would have watched while I was high.
It seems
like a pretty wide category.
What was the first category
again?
It's always someone from Philadelphia.
Well, in honor of
the dearly departed, let's
do Hanks.
Hanks for the ride, everybody. Hanks for the ride, everybody.
Hanks for the ride.
Okay.
Hey, Sam, can I have some of those bottle caps?
You'll have to ask Krista.
You just got a root canal, though.
Yeah, I know.
I'm excited about it.
I just need something to do.
I'm excited about the bottle cap tasting that's about to happen.
Is the whole thing
made out of tape?
You can do it.
What kind of cookies
are those, Lawrence?
Chocolate chip.
Oh, okay.
You didn't pick
Lawrence's cookies.
I can't eat chocolate.
Really?
Yeah, really.
What are you, like a poodle?
No, I'm more like a pit bull.
Is Pit Bull the singer really Singer
Is pit bull the guy that's
Pit bull
Does he
You can say singer
Is he called pit bull because he used to be in charge of
Pit bull dog fights
I have no idea
Someone told me that
I was like what an asshole
Well Vin Diesel
Is called that because
He used to work at the diesel store.
See, I didn't think I was going there.
I was going to make a gasoline joke.
They would have both been terrible.
You were right to respond the way you did.
Do you know why Rich Summer got his name?
Why?
Favorite type of hair.
These smell great.
I can't eat them
because I'm off sugar,
but they smell really good.
And they're smaller
than I thought they'd be.
Are they a little less,
you know,
do they have the same texture
as the originals?
Yeah, real dusty kind of.
Real dusty.
Maybe they are the originals.
But they don't have
like as serrated,
the edges aren't as serrated.
I think when they come
in the roll tube,
they have the serrated.
Oh, the roll. I used to love the fucking roll.
I'd get one of those and some nerd ropes
and I'd be happy.
Those are both good.
Thanks, Tim.
Yeah, mine didn't get away.
Terrific candy break.
I don't know why candies don't advertise on this show.
It seems like a perfect fit.
Yeah.
It's really good.
Let's play this round, shall we?
Tupac died 20 years ago today.
Wow.
Nobody brought that up, so I just figured I would.
How long is an epoch?
Isn't it kind of up to the...
Is it subjective? Oh, it is? I think so, isn't it? of up to the Is it subjective?
Oh it is?
I think so isn't it?
I don't know
I was just hoping that
We've just experienced like two
Epochs of Tupac
Being gone
I have no idea
No idea
Okay
Hanks for the ride Hanks for the ride
Hanks for the ride
Tom Hanks on a plane, boat, rocket or train
Yep
The year is 2013
And that's all Sam needs to know
I don't know about that
Okay
What's your bid?
You might not know it
Negative four what's your bid well I might not know it negative four
that's all Sam gets
I'll give you guys more clues after Sam
bids
no I'm just kidding that's all everybody gets
I mean it seriously
narrows it down pretty well
he's on a plane a boat a rocket or a
train and that's 2013.
All right.
I will then bid.
How many names are in it?
Great question.
It's him and a volleyball.
Volleyball.
Twelve names.
Okay.
It's kind of, one part
of the Sully that really took me out of the movie
is when he's in a sporting goods store and he winks
at a volleyball.
Just walks by
and winks at it.
I know you, Wilson.
Negative one, Doug.
Negative one. Yeah.
I felt
as I was reading the category that that would be
a foregone conclusion.
Negative two. Sam has got to say negative
two. This is pretty good, actually.
This is forcing a three-way tie.
I'm happy about how this is turning out. See, you don't know that I don't
know it. I would have gone negative two,
but then if... It's tough.
Then he is going to get the point. But, but you know you could try negative three and then i'm just saying why would he get the
point then i well oh and i was gonna you're right because then uh i would get the point don't do
that don't do that say negative three what am i not doing do whatever you want i have i i was
thinking that rich would get the point but then it occurs to me if he can't do negative
I would get the point
so don't do that.
My head is spinning.
I don't know if you saw
I had like 45 bottle caps.
You had way too many
bottle caps.
So fast.
You weren't even eating
the candy.
They were real bottle caps.
You were just mainlining
bottle caps.
Just mad doggin'
bottle caps.
There's one on the floor
it looks delicious.
I know I tried
it's a floor cap.
I'm going to have to say name it. Yeah.
Here we go. We're going to give ourselves a
three-way tie, I think. Or Sean.
I have zero points. Sean's going to pull
off of the miracle of the century. They
each have one point. You have
zero. Yeah. You were
about to get a point. I don't think I'll get it.
Well, watch.
Sean, negative two names.
The name of the film.
Captain Phillips.
And the negative two starting with the top billed person.
Tom Hanks.
Mm-hmm.
And, you know.
You know.
You said negative two so confidently.
You know who I'm talking about.
Ed Harris.
That's your final answer?
Yeah.
Hey, I almost went negative too.
Can I give it a shot?
Yeah, you can.
His name's tough to remember.
It's Barkhod Abhi,
something like that?
Barkhod, Barkhod Abhi?
Yeah, but you'd have to
say it right.
Yeah, that's the problem.
I fucked up. Barkhod, you got right, but you'd have to say it right. Yeah, that's the problem.
It's fucked up.
Bark Odd, you got right,
but it's Abdi.
Abdi.
Yeah.
He's nominated for Best Supporting Actor
for I'm the Captain Now.
He's a limo driver
from Minneapolis.
Yeah, there you go.
And I saw him
in something else.
He was good
in something else.
Yeah, I saw him
in that other thing too.
What was that?
It was Eye in the Sky, right?
Was it?
Yeah.
It's in Eye in the Sky.
Oh, okay.
He plays a military guy
in Eye in the Sky. All right. You should say that it plays a military guy and i'm just gonna all right you
should say that it's a three-way tie we got a three-way tie i knew i could do it
i'm just glad we got in such a sweet uh tribute to tom hanks because he really is terrific. I've got to put an X to the ones I've already done so I don't screw up in the future.
Alright, now this is all come down
to this. This is a
play to win situation. No one's going to just throw it.
Just play your best on this one. Who challenged who on that last
thing?
Rich challenged Sean.
So we're back to Sam to pick again.
Yep.
And then we'll go to... That goes to Rich, right?
Goes to Rich.
Because it went to me last time.
Go to Sean Rich.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
Which category would you like to play?
Would you like
Always Bet on Black?
What do you think that's going to be, Sam?
I hope it has something to do with
Wesley Snipes
Yeah, kind of
It's a movie set in Vegas
with two or more black actors in the cast
Okay
Understood
Oh this is fun
Sausage Party
It's movies featuring only men listed in the cast
Popular
It's a total sausage party
Let me see if I can get one more category out of here.
How about...
Oh, no, I don't want to do those ones.
We did those on the super duper.
Got to keep this on the up and upper.
Hang on.
This is a very exciting part of the show
Tension is building on the stage
Like can you imagine like in the script
Spelling bee
Hang on I'll find a word
I don't like your face
I'll find a word
Remember that girl that won the spelling bee
That one year
It was like 2004 or 5.
And she was screaming it.
Screaming the letters.
She would smell her hands before she would.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
S.
That wasn't a Molly Shannon sketch?
It was sort of strange and intense.
Yeah.
That's gnarly.
She did it, you know.
How's it going over there, Doug?
I got it.
Okay. She won? Yeah, she know. How's it going over there, Doug? I got it. She won?
Yeah, she won.
Her hands smelled like victory.
Does that remind you of yourself every time?
F-bombs.
Movies Leonard hated
that begin with the letter F.
Those are so tricky.
So sausage party.
Always been on black.
Always been on black.
Or F bomb.
Boy, those are some tough categories.
Let's go with
always been on black.
Rich says no.
Oh, so sorry, Rich.
So you can't go with that one.
What's your second choice?
I don't want to say
I have a favorite guest
on the show today,
but you're going to have
to pick again.
That's fair. That's fair.
That's fair.
Tough but fair.
Tough but fair.
All right.
So Leonard gives this movie from 2013 two and a half stars.
He lists ten people in the cast.
And he calls the movie raunchy.
And he says the stars
seem to be having a good time.
I would hope.
Which is not always a compliment.
How many names are there?
Two and a half stars isn't too much.
Ten names.
2013 you said?
How many can you get it in Sam?
I can do it in nine names.
A rare large bid from Mr. Levine. A wow from the shocked crowd.
Does it come to me now?
Yes, it does.
I'm going to say eight.
This got really interesting.
I thought you were serious.
No, I was, but I like to make jokes.
What do I like about you?
I like having fun um six oh look at you look at you indeed
clear over seven straight to six sean name that movie
Sean, name that movie.
Let me just real quick get a recap from our numbers analyst.
He went from where to where, Rich? He went from where to where.
Eight was the bid.
Sean went straight to six, jumping to seven.
So seven is out of the equation.
Sam is challenged at six, which means Sean is out.
The number seven killed my dad.
Only going to get six.
Seven years of hard drinking.
I think the one thing that can be discerned from this is that there's no possible way for me to win.
Yes, Rich, you're shut out at this point,
but everybody just loves to see you up there.
I'm going to have some bottle caps and see what happens.
Yeah, the bottom line is you took home the bronze
and everybody's proud.
You guys, Masters of Sex is available on Showtime anytime.
And the premiere was just last night.
I really encourage you to log on
and check out Rich Sommer in Masters of Sex. I love seeing him in period
clothing. It's the only way I'm comfortable with Rich Sommer.
All right.
Got some names for Sean?
Mm-hmm.
You can't have any sugar?
These are just really good.
That's the plan.
All right.
I mean, I could have one for old time's sake if I wanted to, but I like...
There's no pressure.
I like having willpower.
Hey, man, no pressure.
No pressure.
No pressure.
DM it to you later, no presh.
Six names.
Yeah.
Just trying to remember how this is done.
I'll give you the clues again.
Two and a half stars.
It's a movie set in Vegas
with two or more black actors in the cast.
It's raunchy.
The stars seem to be having a good time.
I for some reason thought you were going to give me the top build.
You're giving me the bottom build, aren't you?
I forgot about that.
Yeah, that's how this goes.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
That was me blowing it a little bit.
Well, you never know.
Six names is a lot.
It's not seven.
That would have been really helpful.
Stop talking about seven.
It gets different in here.
Michael Ely.
Joanna Gleason.
Roger Bart.
Romany Malco.
Jerry Ferrara.
Who shows up briefly in Sully, and I'm just like,
fucking turtle, get out of here.
What are you doing here, turtle?
You look good, turtle.
What are you, a bench?
And Mary Steenbergen, the great Mary Steenbergen, Academy Award winner.
All six of them are in this one, Sean.
Sean should have challenged me.
Four.
Yeah, that might have helped.
That might have been a good play.
For the win, Sean, the name of this movie is...
Do you know it?
Do you know it?
Don't say it.
It's not on me.
I'm just curious.
Yeah, Sam, how are you doing on this?
You got it?
I don't want to alter.
Right, yeah, if you say I know it,
then Sean's going to be like, oh, then it must be.
I got...
Honeymoon in Vegas. It must be. I got...
Honeymoon in Vegas.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Just gotta have Las Vegas in the title, because I'm not...
Leaving Las Vegas.
Hangover three.
Vegas vacation.
No. Hangover 1, 2, 3
I said hangover 3
Those are all wrong
Sam you sure you don't want to guess
One triumphant guess
Is it like a best man wedding or something
No
Is it bridesmaids
No
People in the audience With a refined taste of cinema
know that the answer is Last Vegas.
Oh, wow.
Starring Kevin Kline, Morgan Freeman, Robert De Niro,
and Michael Douglas.
That was the top four we didn't hear.
No.
I wouldn't have got it.
Sam Levine did it.
He's our winner.
Back where he belongs.
Thank you.
You're the best around.
Nothing's ever gonna
take you down.
Joe Esposito, sing it to me.
Alright, let me
put a big X to that one and then we'll
close the book for another day.
But that was a lot of fun.
Thank you guys for letting me do that.
Sam, do you want to promote yourself?
You got anything to promote?
Yes.
The stuff that I had the swag for,
it's called Crunch Time.
You can watch the first two episodes for free.
They're on YouTube right now.
They're each like network television length.
They're 20 some odd minutes per episode.
You can watch them also for free on roosterteeth.com and
Guys, I've been in a lot of shit and I'm aware of that
This is a really really good show and I swear you'll like it if you like comedy and sci-fi
So, please check it out and let the people at roosterteeth know how much you like it. All right
Krista come get your prizes.
You get a bucket.
At least that's got a little handle on there.
You can hold it by that.
And then scrawl.
Yeah, just go ahead and dump that in the garbage.
No.
No, it's great.
They're good.
They're good.
I think you're going to need a new battery.
Have you played both
of the games, Rich? No, but I hear fine
things about both. Okay.
Have fun with them. Report back to us about
the fun you have with those. I'm sure you'll
smoke a J before you play.
And then
you'll smoke three joints. First thing I do
when I get a board game is I tear up the rules.
Let's figure out how this game is supposed to work.
Once we've done that, we're done.
The person who figures out how this game works is the winner.
Roll up a joint, tear up the rules, and then play the fucking game.
There you go.
Hey, Sam, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Can you come back tomorrow night as a reigning champion?
No, I'm sorry.
Oh, shit.
All right. I'll find as a reigning champion? No, I'm sorry. Oh, shit. Alright.
I'll find a new reigning
champion.
And you'll be jelly. Sean!
What's going on, man?
What do you got to plug?
Stand updates here on the website, SeanJordanComedy.com
Sean S. Jordan on Twitter and Sean
Kruger Mellon Jordan on Instagram.
Thank you, Sean S. Jordan.
Shawnee Jordan.
Rich Summers on Masters of Sex
on Showtime twice this season.
You already missed one appearance.
Does your character
get creepier next time around?
Yep.
Okay.
What else can we look for?
What else is going on?
That about covers it.
You got anything else you could mention?
Not that I can think of.
What's your most favorite actor you've ever worked with,
like just in terms of being psyched to work with them?
You got to know everybody on Mad Men, of course,
but the first day you probably weren't,
oh my God, it's that guy.
Maybe you were, I don't know.
The actor I was most psyched to work with.
Well, you know,
the Hello, My Name is Doris
with Sally Field, that was pretty cool.
That's pretty neat.
She was so good in that.
She was great.
You know what else she was good in?
Punchline.
That just makes me think about Tom Hanks.
Shit, man.
It's hard.
He's a really tough one to get over.
Tom Hanks is in heaven.
No, Giovanni Ribisi is in heaven.
What are you saying?
Tom Hanks is in hell?
I heard Tom Hanks was stuck between heaven and hell
in the terminal.
I think I had something I wanted to plug here
real quick at the end.
Yes, I do.
Don't forget, Douglas Movies is at the Houston Improv
at 420 on Friday. What? Yeah, I do. Don't forget, Douglas Movies is at the Houston Improv at 420 on Friday.
What?
Yeah, Friday afternoon, September 30th.
It's a special happy hour show
that I assume will be very lightly attended.
So come on down.
Have a very personal experience.
Thank you to all of you guys who came out here tonight
To the Nerd Melt showroom
Hopefully we'll see you tomorrow night
Over at UCB Franklin
The following Monday at UCB Sunset
Do you guys like this over NFL football?
Yeah
Okay, I mean I guess you're here
So you don't give a shit about the LA Rams I guess
One more time for Sam Levine Sean Jordan Okay, I mean, I guess you're here, so you don't give a shit about the LA Rams, I guess.
One more time for Sam Levine,
Sean Jordan,
and Rich Sommer.
Rich Sommer,
that's my favorite class and my favorite time of year.
As always,
five day work
weeks are a shithead.
Yeah, so we're clearly not
like in Italy.
Somewhere where they work less.
And
everyone is a
shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of both his view and prowess makes him shit