Doug Loves Movies - Sarah Baker, Lisa DeLarios, Martha Kelly and Eliza Skinner guest
Episode Date: January 16, 2020Back at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Sarah Baker, Lisa DeLarios, Martha Kelly and Eliza Skinner to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a ...free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
The table is a little upstage tonight.
And I think I just poured some light beer into the prize bag.
So congratulations to whoever wins that tonight.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Perfecto.
Coming to you once again
Sit the fuck down
You first then that guy
Cause he's polite
And for the first time this year
From what is now our twice monthly home
Next show here is January 28th.
The UCB Theater at Franklin Avenue in Los Angeles!
Hot crowd!
Hot crowd!
Yeah.
It's Tuesday, January
14th, 2020.
New year.
New name tags.
I see
Executive
Decision
Nice job, Zach
I'm a Seagull, I love it
It's beautiful
Rebecca Mando
That's pretty sweet
Those three up there, I don't care what those say.
What does one of them say? They're so far away from me.
Romo Cop? Because your name is Romo?
Good job, Romo.
There's lots of ones over here that I can't even begin to read.
These glasses on my forehead are reading glasses,
so I can see my script,
and then I look out there and I can't see shit.
This one's really big right next to me, though.
Mason of Rambo.
And you're Mason?
That's my 10-year-old.
Your 10-year-old's named Mason?
Yeah, he's bad.
You're here to win for him tonight?
Is he dying?
I like that.
Yeah, I dragged him
into my name tag for no particular
reason. Just let
people know I have a son. Well, good luck to you
and to Mason. I see
you attach some awesome things to
it. Some Scandinavian
swimmers,
which are black market Swedish fish.
Can you believe that?
Why wouldn't you just call it...
First of all, why do they still have to be fish-shaped?
Just make the same tasty treat,
but in a different shape.
Nope, we're going with Scandinavian swimmers.
No one will know what a fucking ripoff it is.
But they're, I don't know, I kind of think they're better.
They're better than Swedish Fish, no offense to the Swedes.
They're neutral.
Doug plugs!
This Saturday, the Benson Movie Interruption comes to the Castro Theater in San Francisco
as part of SF Sketch Fest at 420,
me and my mystery guests,
well, I think we already announced the guests,
Pat and Oswald amongst them,
are going to be interrupting Fast and Furious Presents,
Calvin and Hobbes and Shaw.
Then on Sunday,
Douglas Movies will be at the Gateway Theater
at 420.
Come on down, football haters.
Yeah, the Niners game is at the same time
as my show.
That didn't work out great,
but good for them.
For tickets to both of those shows,
go to sfsketchfest.com.
Douglas Movies returns
to LOL Comedy Club in San
Antonio, Texas on Saturday, February
1st at 420 and the Improv
in Orlando on March
1st, also
at 420.
For all my dates and deets and links,
go to douglosmovies.com.
That's douglosmovies.com. That's douglovesmovies.com.
Yeah!
Come on!
Wallet!
Shh!
Ted Danson?
I know, there's somebody in the audience.
There's always somebody in the audience
who's like, what just happened?
Why the fuck?
Why did everybody
fucking do that?
Dug out to anyone who is
participating in the DLM
Oscar Challenge, hashtag
DLM Oscar Challenge.
I've seen, I think, 21
of the 50-ish,
53 different films
nominated for Oscars,
both feature length and shorties.
And I hope to see them all
by Oscar Sunday, February 9th.
Track my progress.
Yeah, that's right, Chelsea.
Track my progress.
Damn!
I think I could do it.
Maybe. I don't know.
I saw...
Did I see something today?
I think I did.
I'm pretty sure I saw...
No, I haven't seen anything today.
Now that I think about it.
But I'll make it.
That's like the tortoise and the hare, you know?
The tortoise didn't watch as many movies
in the first few days.
He crammed them all in
because tortoises are good at staying up
and rabbits need their sleep.
Oh, also, you can check out my progress
on the Doug Loves Minis podcast.
Does anybody listen to that?
Okay, good.
I'm always happy to hear that anyone's listening to me
just listing off my
upcoming dates.
I try to throw some other stuff in there.
Prize bag tonight. It's a beautiful
bag from Med Men.
It doesn't have any weed in it. It's just a bag
from Med Men.
But it does have some, I think, some cool
stuff in there. There's a
big old book
that I got sent. Magazine
book. Call it what you will.
It's called Q.
I mean, it's got Adam Driver on the cover
Laura Dern De Niro even though he got stubbed again it's a beautiful magazine
but if you want something more you know specific than just a magazine that seems to be about all the actors
in the world.
I was in San Francisco
last weekend and I'm going to be there again
this weekend.
So here's a copy of San Francisco
magazine.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Who's crinkling rappers over there like
there's no tomorrow
that's like my big thing when i go to broadway shows now is like the people that just like
they just they uh instead of just opening something up quickly
they're like oh i'm gonna be so stealthy about this. And it's ten minutes of...
And you're like, hey,
Anne Frank is in the attic
and you're going to fucking...
The Nazis are going to notice.
fucking... The Nazis are going to notice.
Anyway, I'm crinkling up something
that's for the prize bag. This is one of those crazy
cannabis-infused
all-natural lollipops
that after you've finished
a lollipop, if you
plant the stick and then add water,
it'll grow into weed.
Yeah, you heard me.
Welcome to the future.
Also the prize bag is a
Doug Benson pin, but if somebody
requests an actress in
Last Woman Stanton tonight that matches
the name that I have in my
wallet, then that person
will win the pin and
the prize bag winner will go home
pinless.
That's where we're at
right now. I don't have a lot
of pins. I've ordered some more
from Rockin' Pins, though, and they're very
reliable, so we'll have more
soon. All that's in the prize bag.
Plus stuff brought by my guests
Would you like to meet them?
There's four of them
They're awesome
Please give it up
For Lisa Delarios
Sarah Baker
Eliza Skinner
And Martha Kelly. Thank you.
There they are.
Welcome.
Welcome.
So many purses on this show.
It's a real purse club over here.
I forgot to bring mine.
I would have brought it in solidarity.
But let's meet these guests individually,
starting with the lady directly to my left,
first-time guest on the show.
It's Sarah Baker, everybody.
So excited that you're here.
Thank you for having me.
Oh, it's great to have you because I am a huge fan of the Kaminsky Method
on the Netflix,
where you play Michael Douglas' daughter.
How crazy is that?
It's pretty crazy.
How do you do it?
I don't know.
And then what do you do when Alan Arkin comes around?
How amazing is that guy?
Die.
He's the best.
And then now in this last season
you're canoodling in a relationship
with the great Paul Reiser.
Yeah. With a very different...
Yeah. People are like, what?
I know, it's pretty weird. That's the plot line,
is that she's dating a much older man.
Okay. And it's Paul fucking Reiser.
Yeah. I don't know what happened to
Helen Hunt, but she's out of the picture.
So is her hair. Sarah Baker
is the new
person he's mad about
I enjoyed that so much more
than anybody else in this room
but yeah
thank you so much for being here
thank you for having me
you may also know her as
Zach Alfinakis' wife in the campaign
and yeah
Zach is super shy.
I wanted to try to get him to come down tonight, but it didn't happen.
He's a turkey.
Whoa, okay.
He knows it.
That's been thrown down.
Sarah Baker thinks Zach's a turkey.
Is Paul Reiser a good lover?
Thank you for changing the subject,
because it was so ugly in here for a
minute with that turkey talk we're on to something else i appreciate it um he we only kissed it was
a kiss i was like specifically instructed to be like so that these other people observing know
that they're not just like he he's not my aged uncle or
something.
Since the floor is open for questions,
do you find it extra
thrilling that you're not just
Michael Douglas' daughter, but Michael
Douglas and Kathleen Turner's daughter?
Yes. The culmination of
such a great movie journey.
You're a War of the Roses baby?
She is. Or a Romancing the Stone baby. Or a a War of the Roses baby? She is.
Or a Romancing the Stone baby.
Or a Jewel of the Nile baby.
All of those babies!
I know.
I sounded like Jeff Garlin right there.
All of those babies!
All right, then I didn't. All right, so let's continue to meet this amazing panel.
Another panelist who I've just learned backstage
has never been on the show before.
I swear to God, she had.
It's Eliza Skinner, everybody!
That's me!
I've never been on the show before.
I'm so glad we worked that out.
Yep, that's fun.
That you're here, and it's going to be super fun.
And you, as I mentioned backstage,
you were in a show I did before,
a Benson movie interruption.
I did, yes.
Of, what did we do, The Fate of the Furious?
It was one.
They were fast, they were furious.
That was where I stopped counting.
Okay, I think it was the eighth one,
because that's so fun to me
that it's called the eighth of the furious.
Like, you just throw a little eight in that it's called the eighth of the Furious.
Like, you just throw a little eight in there.
A little throwback to the movie Seven that had a seven instead of a V, which I'll never understand.
Yeah.
Also, Gwyneth Paltrow's head in the box in that Fast and the Furious.
Wait, what?
They did a callback?
They did a box back?
You missed that part? Yeah.
I heard she's putting out candles that smell like her head in a box.
No, just her box.
Her head in her own box, yes.
Okay.
Let's clean it up, Doug. Clean it up.
Are there kids here?
Oh, the kids are here.
A lot of children.
Listen, they don't come to the live tapings, but they're all...
Do you get a lot of fan art from kids?
Oh, my God.
So much.
So much fan art.
You're going to be joining me this Saturday.
The cat's out of the bag.
We announced the guest.
You're going to be joining me this Saturday with the interruption of yet another Fast and Furious movie.
I mean, why stop the hits?
I'm excited to have you back for this one.
The Hobbs and Shaw, where I don't know who plays the ampersand,
but Hobbs is the rock.
Which one is the predator?
Wait, no, they're just human beings.
Oh, I should not have signed up for this.
Jason Statham is Shaw. no they're just human beings oh yeah i should not have signed up for this and um yeah that's gonna be super fun on saturday yeah i'm excited i look forward to seeing you there but let's continue to see each other here cool okay also on the panel
eliza's left is Lisa Delarios, everybody.
Yay!
Hey, guys.
I don't need no table.
Where's the other Lisa and the cult jam?
That's what I want to know.
Where's what?
Nothing.
You were a friend of mine
all the way back to your days
in Austin, Texas.
That's right.
I featured for you, I think,
one weekend in Austin.
At a club called Cap City Comedy.
Capital City Comedy Club.
Still there.
That was the 2007s, maybe?
Was it?
That was a great decade.
The 2007s.
Some people in 2008 were like, yay, new decade.
They were dumb. It's not a new
decade yet. I'm still living back there.
Yeah, because where do you stand on
this whole thing where people keep saying
that we're starting a new decade
when it technically doesn't start until
next January? What do you
mean?
Now we know where you stand. Okay.
I hadn't thought about that.
You're one of the decade deniers that's out there that doesn't know what's going on.
Well, all of a sudden people started piping up about it.
People were like, oh, it's a new decade.
And I was like, oh, yeah.
Yeah, they're wrong.
They're wrong.
But I, okay, so now I'm going to say you're wrong.
They're kind of right.
Because also, what does any of it matter?
Thank you.
Who really knows what time it is?
It doesn't matter.
Hell yeah. To quote the lyrics.
And finally, you guys,
our fourth panelist this evening.
It's going to be quite a competition.
It's Martha Kelly!
The Academy Award the academy award movie appearing martha kelly star of marriage story that's right i've been dying to get you back on the show since i saw that fucking movie because not only are you hilarious
and you're like almost like
the comic relief of Marriage Story
because it's kind of a heavy movie
but also
you steal a scene from Adam Driver.
I mean that's
use your microphone voice.
Oh.
But anyway you don't have to comment on that.
I'm not really asking you to say,
yes, I did steal that seat from him.
What a lightweight.
But it must have been crazy.
How many days, how much time do you spend in that apartment with him while he's bleeding?
Spoiler.
I was there, I was just there three days.
That's a lot, though.
But they only, well, they didn't do any of the blood
for the part that I was there for.
They did that later.
What do you mean?
It's all CGI blood?
No, I mean, I think that when we did the scene together,
he pretends to cut it,
and then later they do the close-up and then the...
I might...
I don't...
It was two years ago.
Now I'm realizing part of it, there was blood, maybe.
Anyway, they were...
You better get your story straight because there's going to be a subcommittee.
There's going to be hearings.
But two years ago, that's an interesting factoid that takes that long for movies to finish and come out.
I don't know when they finished shooting, but the three days I was there was the beginning of February 2018.
was there was um the beginning of february 2018 and um and then i thought like it was so long before it came out and i didn't hear anything i was like maybe i just got cut out of the movie
and like um anyway i just want to say adam driver is really nice in real life at least for
for three days at a time he's a a very lovely, really, really nice.
I was so scared, and he made me not feel like a big dummy, which I was.
So he's really sweet.
None of you care.
No, that's awesome to hear.
It's always nice to hear that people like him are cool,
even if, like you say, it's just for those three days.
We don't know what kind of shit he was into
when you left. I don't know why I said that
to take away from it. I'm sure he's
nice all the time. I just...
He might not be
though, Martha. Yeah, I mean, better than Paul
Reiser though?
Just don't...
Orange is an apple.
Just don't play clips
of him singing to him.
That's right.
That apparently is not his jam.
Oh, was it singing that he walked out on?
Yeah.
Okay.
I heard he doesn't watch himself.
Well, he doesn't want to hear himself or see himself, I don't think.
That's what I heard him say.
This was a radio show, so I think they just played a clip of him singing and he was like,
see ya.
Later.
Yeah.
But I also heard that both his parents are movie critics
and so he did see...
Everybody's movies are just his.
So maybe he's really...
I mean, it's true.
Like, if you're in a movie,
your parents are going to be movie critics.
They're going to let you know what they thought of it.
Did your parents see Marriage Story?
Well, my mom can't because she passed away before it came out.
Well, that's a terrible thing to say.
How dare you?
Bring everybody down with that.
Sorry.
My dad hasn't seen either
because he can barely walk.
Guys.
But good news.
It's on Netflix.
Why hasn't the Academy,
why hasn't he gotten a screener
for consideration from,
he's not an Academy member?
I did give my brother the screener DVD I had,
and he did give me his feedback,
which was not totally negative.
So it's great to have family members
who want to tell you about the stuff that you work on.
Oh, he just sort of reported back to you that you did that?
He said he and his wife had watched it,
and then he said...
Why did I bring that up?
He didn't say anything mean.
He just wasn't...
My family's never...
They don't give a shit.
They don't get excited about stuff.
I think not saying something negative
that's nice
that counts as a compliment
in an Irish family that counts as a compliment
so
from your sister
from your sister over here
you made that movie
thanks Lisa Delarius
we're old timey friends
I mean we're long time friends
we're not old timey friends
you're in black and white and kind of herky jerky We're old timey friends. I mean, we're long time friends. We're not old timey friends.
You're in black and white and kind of herky jerky.
And old timey.
It's true.
Here's a terrible compliment.
I was bored out of my mind watching that movie and then you came in.
You totally saved it.
Good for you.
I'm going to tweet about how you saved that shit movie.
No, but it is a good
movie and then she's very funny
in it at a time when people
need that.
Right? I think the movie
is so
stressful to me because I think anyone
who's ever gotten lawyers involved in anything
knows that all they're going to do is make everything worse and cost money while they do it.
That's my message to the people.
All right.
So let's talk prize bag.
Lisa, do you have a little something for us?
Oh, gosh, yeah.
I did some special shopping for the winner tonight.
I'll start with I got some. i know you have very literary audience so i got this really great book i've already read it it's called why
men love bitches okay um i don't i don't feel like i can comment on that title. From the same author who wrote Why Men Marry Bitches.
Can't wait for the Divorce Bitches book.
That's what they should have called Marriage Story.
That's right.
She kind of was a bitch.
It is more of a divorce story.
You really thought you'd fall inside of...
I didn't buy any of it.
They're not real people.
And then this is the slang thesaurus,
which is just...
Try saying that fast five times.
Can you just pull open the book
and give us an example?
Yes, that's a great idea.
Okay. Can you just pull open the book and give us an example? Yes, that's a great idea.
Okay, the word estrangement.
Yeah, what else is that?
Bust up.
Oh, okay.
Splitsville. Call it a day. See, this is Splitsville.
Call it a day.
See, this is a useful book.
Bitch bail.
Bitch bail.
And yeah, this is good reading.
Yeah, yeah.
It's super fun, like on the toilet.
Yeah.
Just repeat back the ones you like.
Yeah, she's something, isn't like. Yeah, she's something,
isn't she?
Sherry? Yeah, she's pretty.
Sherry Argoff.
This is going to be
a treat for somebody.
There's more?
Oh, yeah.
Okay, and then the third
is the best part,
which is a glass cutting board
with a picture of a schnauzer.
That's the type of dog.
Yeah.
It's a very well-groomed schnauzer.
I don't know why that word sounds like it might be something else.
Nice schnauzer.
Oh my God, that's the best euphemism for a wee-wee.
Eliza made a good point about this.
Oh yeah, it's an odd way to pay
tribute to someone but I love
schnauzers so I'll cut on them
just throw your rod
better backstage
it's still funny
pass all that stuff down
that's going in the bag that's
great stuff Eliza what do
you have well I
plan to go home
before the show,
but I didn't get to because my tattoo took too long.
Yeah, girl.
Fresh from the tat.
That's a great excuse.
So I have this little, but I grabbed some stuff in my car,
and I have this little patch that says,
Girl Gang.
That's right.
It's got a tough little Betty Boop on there.
And I'll give this.
It's an enamel pin that was made for the casting crew of my Disney Plus show, Earth to Ned.
So either this will be really, really cool or hilarious, depending on if it's a success or a total failure.
And no one else has those.
When does that happen?
When do people start to see that?
I think it's coming up.
Last I heard, sometime between April and June.
It's a late night talk show hosted by aliens.
I love it.
Wait, is that the puppet one?
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, Sarah.
It's aliens.
Yeah, we cast actual aliens.
We're not doing that Hollywood thing
where we get actors to play them.
We got them from space.
Thank you, Martha.
What do you got?
Well, I completely forgot about the gift part,
so I stopped at the little shop on the corner here
towards that way.
There's three things.
One is a little strawberry friend.
Yeah, it's fucking great.
They also, no, I don't work for them,
but they also have really cute avocados and tomatoes.
They're all adorable.
These are magic and fairy tale dice.
They're wooden.
And then, I don't know, these are magic puffy pens where you add heat to make ink puff up like
popcorn oh that sounds fun what do you have to do to make it happen i don't get it blow dry it
iron it or blow dry hold it on a light bulb anyway sorry it's all does anybody have an iron or a
blow dryer show them that scene with sar and Paul. There you go.
Can't practice the puffy pan thing.
So I'm sorry it's not like cool memorabilia and you could have bought it yourself two doors down.
Yeah, why didn't you bring like a piece of Adam Driver?
Or a basket.
I gave...
You really could just load up your trunk with
baskets. I was just gonna offer
a crisp $20
bill, but then I was like,
let me buy some things, and then you can
shit on them.
Worked out perfectly.
Sarah, it's your first time.
I know I just said to you, like, in a message,
bring something for the prize bag.
So what did that mean to you?
Well, I have listened to your program.
So I understood that it was supposed to be,
I dug out movie crap for my house.
That's perfect. It's not all movies's let's bring on the movie two movies so relax um okay so this is a poster from the campaign
and then it's not like signed or anything and i'm not on it because i'm i'm not zach alfnack
it's our will ferrell and then there's a little poster in there that was like a limited edition It's not like signed or anything and I'm not on it because I'm not Zach Galifianakis or Will Ferrell.
And then there's a little poster in there
that was like a limited edition poster
that's like our little family from that same movie.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
And then this possibly useful bag.
Oh, the bag is the prize too?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It says HBO on it. It's from last week the prize too? Yeah. It says HBO
on it. It's from last week.
It's not TV. It's HBO.
Yeah. It's not a TV
bag. It's an HBO bag.
It says last week tonight on it with
John Oliver. Oh, okay.
I think it's for a laptop.
You're up to it. You hear him
yelling about the latest news
stories. Yeah. I think you're supposed to put your laptop hear him yelling about the latest news stories. Yeah.
I think you're supposed to put your laptop in it,
but there's no closure pockets.
So good luck.
There's no closure or ending
to what's going to happen with this bag.
But it's beautiful, and you're right.
It's a campaign poster's a movie thing,
which is perfect for this show.
So good job everybody somebody's gonna
win all of this stuff some real dream come true shit right here well before we get to the games
i got a couple maybe two or three things i want to do uh we'll start with lisa what was the last movie you saw lisa um you know i was i can't
seem to get through parasite i have a screener but i it's so good but i i've only just watch it
like installments put in your own commercial breaks yeah i keep falling asleep go do something
oh because the reading no No, no, no.
Just because I'm an old lady.
Yeah, but sometimes foreign films are, you know,
I feel like they either keep me more awake
because I have to read the whole time
or I just give up because I have to read the whole time.
Could go either way.
Yeah.
But Parasite is, you know, worth the effort.
It's worth the effort.
Yeah, it's labor intensive, but worth it.
But it's
real good. The 20 minutes in
is really, really good.
Oh, that's where you lose it every time?
Yeah. You go back to the beginning
each time? Well, I have to like re-watch
the last 10 minutes. Right.
Because you're not going to remember what the fuck happened.
No. In and out. In and out.
20 minutes. Have you guys all
seen this? Yes.
Right.
Okay.
Really benefits from a real loosening of the tension
by watching the installments.
But no, you'll get there.
Yeah.
I feel it's building.
It's building.
And it's unfortunate that all the questions tonight
are about parasites.
So you might not do very well.
It'll be a relief.
I can just sleep tonight.
Eliza, what was the last movie you saw?
Knives Out.
I love it.
You didn't love it?
No, I did.
I loved it.
Oh, okay.
It's not for emetophobes.
Hmm?
People that don't like vomiting in films and television.
That's a thing?
Mm-hmm.
Or in general.
They don't want to be around it in general.
You know, like, it sets them off.
You know, like, seeing or hearing about vomiting makes them vomit.
I mean, I don't love it.
I don't know anybody that loves it.
I mean, in Knives Out, it's like, you know, it's an actual plot thing,
but I find most movies and TV shows,
when somebody vomits on camera,
it would have been just as easy for them to go,
oh, I don't feel well, and leave the scene.
You know what I mean?
Like, we've done just, told us the same thing.
Yeah, but nobody ever goes, whoa,
when someone just leaves the scene.
Right, but do they do that when people vomit?
You sounded excited.
Yeah! Vomit!
Look at him blow!
Yeah.
Are you a metaphor?
A metaphobe.
Why was that the hardest part?
The phobe part.
I am a...
I'm only a friend of a metaphobes
I heard that that was a thing
and I try to help them out
but also sometimes
like in the case of Knives Out
it's been out long enough now
I don't feel so bad
but sometimes it really is a plot point
so it's weird to tell people
it's just also like
you know there's people
that never want to go to a movie
where a dog dies
I was about to say
and I want to warn them
I want to warn them
whenever I see it happen
because I feel for them and don't want them to have to deal with it.
But I also don't want to just put out there dog dies in such and such a movie
because,
you know,
people,
there's other stuff that happens.
Spoiler.
Yeah.
Right.
Well,
that's a great thing about like the first John wick is that the dog dies like,
you know,
five minutes it's gone.
So you can tell people it doesn't ruin the whole movie.
Well,
I mean like old yeller.
What? Well, old mean like Old Yeller. What?
Well, Old Yeller.
Yeah, Old Yeller spends a lot of time
making you fall for that dog.
I keep just watching the first 20 minutes.
Shit, I'm so sorry.
Oh my God.
Just kidding.
Okay, yeah.
He thrives.
That's funny.
Yeah, I had that with Chernobyl.
I had a friend that I was like,
there's one episode,
you just can't watch one of the episodes
because it's real animal heavy.
No, no, no.
I like that they packed it all in one.
That was nice of them.
What do you all think about this don't fuck with cats thing?
Oh, I watched it.
And do you recommend it?
I found it was really hard to
watch because they they don't show the cats getting hurt that's not why it was hard to watch
but yeah they go so close to showing it like they'll even like show the frame but like not
that part of it so i was like no no no no it really stresses you out but if you just skip
past all that stuff it's not really about cats.
A cat didn't do it.
It was a human man they're hunting.
That's a documentary?
Yeah, it's a three-part documentary.
Hey, you know what?
If we're talking Netflix series, it's no Dracula.
Just watch that.
Everybody's having a good time eating blood.
As long as it's not
dog blood oh okay don't watch dracula i think they should make a documentary where it is the
cats killing other cats and then somebody it's like which cat did it yeah wait they did didn't
isn't that it's a musical it It's out now.
I have a surprise for you.
What?
That is the last movie I watched.
We're going on autopilot, Doug.
The murderer was Rum Tum Tugger in the cat box
with a fur ball.
How did you like that Cats movie,
Martha?
Jennifer Hudson's singing Memories
Towards the End
made me cry.
She's wonderful.
I don't want to talk about anything
else that happened.
It's upsetting. I don't want to talk about anything else. It's upsetting.
I don't want to talk about it.
But that's nice.
You found something nice to say about it.
And people can look for that one part.
It'll probably be available in clip form on the internet soon enough.
You can just watch Jennifer sing her heart out.
It's a beautiful song.
It is, and she does a great job with it.
I just feel like if you really love cats,
the animals, this movie, it doesn't do them justice.
And if you love the Broadway musical Cats,
you would probably enjoy the singing and dancing
more live
on stage rather than
the... I didn't want to talk about it.
This movie's frustrating to me because
I saw the Broadway show and
if you go see the movie, they are not going to
crawl on you.
They're going to stay up there on the screen.
Do they crawl into the audience?
Yeah, it's bad. They're acting like cats up there on the screen. Do they crawl into the audience? Yeah, they get in the audience and it's very, yeah, it's bad.
They're acting like cats.
I will say, I think if I...
Yeah, they act like cats.
They rub on you.
If you, I will say, I laughed a lot
and I didn't know why I was laughing,
but there were a lot of high people there
that they laughed,
and then I assumed something was funny
and laughed along with them.
But I can't get high anymore
because I'm a sober alcoholic.
So if you can get high and see it,
it seemed like it was funny.
What a recommendation.
That's going to bring their Rotten Tomatoes score up.
I just, I can't, I don't know if I'm going to watch it in a theater.
I think I might just wait and check it out in a private setting.
Because it just seems too crazy.
Does the running time seem excessive?
No, but I swear to God, the previews ahead of it were a good 25 minutes.
And almost all of them made me cry.
And it was all kids movies.
I don't know what's happening.
Anyway, that's Cats. I like you put a's happening. Anyway, that's cats.
I like you put a little bow on it there at the end.
Sarah, what was the last movie you saw?
I saw Uncut Gems.
Oh.
Did you feel Mr. Sandler got snubbed?
I thought he was excellent.
He's so good.
Yeah. But, you know, it came out he was excellent. He's so good. Yeah.
But, you know, it came out like 10 seconds before the year was over.
Yeah.
And was also a very, it's a hard watch.
Like it's an intense movie that, you know, old people might not be into.
For sure. And they, you know, unfortunately most of the people in the Academy are old people.
Yeah.
All right.
I thought it was...
I thought it was...
We did it.
We took down old people.
Finally.
Yeah.
Just each and every one of you,
just get a reverse mortgage
and get the fuck out of my...
out of my face.
So if you're old and listening,
don't get a reverse mortgage i'm joking around
if you're old and listening is that what people listen for this is financial advice for old people
you never know i just keep seeing i watch a lot of daytime tv and i keep seeing tom sellick
tom sellick and he's just like hey you guys this isn't my first rodeo. When you need money, do a reverse mortgage.
It's just like, when did you ever need to do a reverse mortgage?
Or are you saying that you've been to a lot of rodeos?
Well, I mean, if I remember correctly,
he was just like kind of a squatter in that estate in Hawaii.
Oh, Magnum?
Yeah.
Magnum didn't own that.
Right, he didn't own that place.
It's true.
So.
But he owns a lot of mustache wax,
and I wish him all the best until he dies soon.
I saw him in the airport.
What happened?
I just saw him, and he's gigantic.
Yeah, he's a big dude.
Like, broad and very giant man.
I didn't speak to him, so that's where the story ends.
I feel like he leaves a trail of chest hair.
And mustache hair.
Mustache hair.
And the smell of burning wood.
Did you ever see that movie, what was it called?
In and Out with Kevin Kline? Tom Selleck plays a gay dude see that movie What was it called? In and Out with Kevin Kline
Tom Seller plays a gay dude in that movie
It's the only thing he's ever been in
Without that gay mustache
He shaved the mustache
To play a gay guy
It's insane
Okay now here's kind of a...
This question's probably going to be out of nowhere
if you didn't listen to the very most recent episode of this show.
I've added a new segment.
It's not really a game.
It's just for fun.
But it's called Doug Loves Muppets.
segment. It's not really a game. It's just for fun, but it's called Doug Loves Muppets.
I didn't know if you'd come
through with the hi-yah or not, but
some of you did, and I appreciate
it. Probably not enough to be
heard by the listeners, but
that's what I want every time I
say it's time for Doug Loves Muppets. I want the whole audience
to go like Miss Piggy. I want them all to go
hi-yah!
And some of them did it.
After just one episode. So this thing's really gonna
take off.
But the question is, what movie
from forever,
from all time, what movie
would you like to see rebooted
with the Muppets, and which
Muppets would you cast in the
lead parts?
Yeah.
You can take a second to think about it.
I'll tell you one that was sent to me by
Pardis79
on social media.
He suggested
Midborga.
It's Midsommar,
but all the Swedish characters
are played by the Swedish ship.
That's a pretty good one.
Does anybody else have one you're thinking of?
There was a similar question on Twitter, and at that point I said all that jazz, but thank you.
That'd be fun. It'd be hard
to, there wouldn't be as much jazz hands
because they're puppets. Well, full on
arms, yeah. Yeah. But I,
for here, I would like to commit to
Moonstruck.
Obviously Miss Piggy
in the Cher role.
Snap out of it!
Yes, with
Gonzo in the Nick Cage role.
I lost my hand.
And Kermit is Danny Aiello, right?
Oh, right.
Because he never deserved her.
I think Fozzie as the older guy who keeps dating younger women.
Oh, yeah.
Olympia Dukakis.
Remove all evidence of her, that guy.
I'm going to have Olympia Dukakis' part played because we're limited on women,
which, you know, that was the problem.
I'm going to have that role go to Rolf,
just because I feel like emotionally he can handle that.
Janice is going to be bummed.
You know what?
I'm seeing Pat.
Janice was originally a male character.
The original design.
That's not a fun thing.
It's just nerd stuff.
Yeah, Janice would be one of the girls on the date with Fozzie.
I don't even know
what movie we're talking about.
Oh, and I'm going to put
as the mother.
Oh, all that jazz?
No, we're talking about Moonstruck.
Oh, Moonstruck.
That's right.
The mother back in Sicily.
As the mother in Sicily,
I'm going to put
a Skeksis in there.
Just throw it for a little loop.
Oh, that's fun.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Thank you.
That's terrific casting. You did a great job. I love that's fun. Yeah. That's amazing. Thank you. That's terrific casting.
You did a great job.
I love the movie and I love the Muppets.
I mean, I don't feel like anybody else has to do one after that one.
I think somebody should make it.
Real quickly, does anybody on the panel do any impressions that would be fun to share?
It doesn't necessarily have to be of a famous person, but it could be somebody you know.
I mean, that's what Martha's known for, right?
Or it could be lines from a movie or something.
Is there anything coming to mind? I can do Snoopy. lines from a movie or something? Anybody?
Anything coming to mind?
I can do Snoopy.
I love it already. The dog?
Yeah.
When I yawn accidentally, I make
the Snoopy sound, which is
Wow.
That's perfect. That's my new
ringtone. Thank you.
Thanks.
Snoopy laughing is the best.
Oh, what's that sound like?
It's like a...
It's like...
It's like very high-fived.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he makes weird little noises.
Yeah.
He doesn't really let it all out.
They all sound like he's holding back. Yeah, he makes weird little noises. Yeah. He doesn't really let it all out.
They all sound like he's holding back.
Well, he puts that into his writing.
While he chomps on whole bones.
It was a dark and stormy night.
Can you imagine having a dog that lays on his back on his own doghouse?
That would be so fucking cool.
That would be such a good Instagram post.
20,000 likes easily.
Okay, so let's play some games.
Let the games begin.
Turn it off, Bert.
People have name tags.
Some people also need to go use the restroom or get high or something.
Can I pick the M&M one?
Lots of people are leaving.
You can pick whatever one you want, Martha.
Wow, there's a lot of bribing happening.
Everybody just go grab the name tag you like the best.
Oh, you can't because we're not on the stage.
If you don't mind going and getting it from them, that'd be great.
And while we work all this out, we'll take a brief commercial break.
We'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
All right, we're back. That was very gentle.
Lovely, oh man, the Scandinavian Swimmers guy is mad he didn't get picked, so he's just going to eat every one of those.
He's going to eat every one of those fish right in front of me.
Who are you playing on behalf of, Sarah?
I'm playing for Mindy Franks
who apparently is having a birthday
today. Oh, congratulations
Mindy. How did you do it?
And she made a very
fun little 40
year old virgin poster only. It's the
35 year old Mindy.
Look at that.
I love that.
Same awkward expression as Steve Carell.
Kelly Clarkson!
What do you got, Martha?
Well, I got stabbed by one of the pushpins holding the M&Ms to it.
I'm not bleeding.
Everybody calm down.
Jim... Jim... Jim, Jim.
Jim Carrey.
Is your name Max or Jim Carrey?
Anyway, thanks.
So that's Max.
Max.
And changed the mask to the Max.
Oh, right.
Yeah, you get it.
Sorry, I didn't get it.
And three different flavors of M&M's
Which are a great candy
I can't eat them anymore but I hope you all enjoy it
Wait, you took it and can't eat the candy?
Yeah, I have
Let's chuck them into the crowd
This one has hazelnut spread inside of them
Do you want to throw them into the audience, Martha?
I thought they were supposed to go to whoever
wins. No, they go to you.
You got bribed to pick that
name tag.
Max might
want them back, but I don't want Max to get
them back. That's not... I wouldn't mind
the peanut. Can I just go ahead and claim the peanut?
You can get the peanut ones.
There you go, old friend. Does anybody else
on the panel want any of the other flavors?
Anybody want these?
All right, so give me that one.
I'll take the hazelnut fresh.
Okay, she'll take it.
Does anybody want the tracks?
Who wants just regular?
There you go.
Sorry, lady's face.
Sort of whipped that in there without warning.
I should have.
Did you take the pin out?
I'm going to throw the pins into the audience as well.
Oh, no.
Look out.
Catch them.
All right.
What do you got there, Eliza?
I got the Ben's
who stare at goats.
Oh.
He put in lots of Ben's.
There's a little Ben Affleck
and some other Ben.
Yeah.
And one of them's him,
I guess
he should go Argo fuck himself
wow
wow
I can't believe I said go Argo
fuck yourself
what an hilarious misquote
alright and he bribed me with Sour Patch Kids.
And you like those?
Yeah, I do.
Okay, perfect.
Hang on to them.
Okay.
Yeah, you did the right thing.
Hey, comedy is a tough racket.
Lisa?
Yes, I chose Pretty in Pink.
Ian?
Oh, Pretty Ian Pink.
Pretty Ian Pink.
Where's Ian at? Ian's over there. Ian. Good job, Ian. Oh, Pretty Ian Pink. Pretty Ian Pink. Where's Ian at?
Ian's over there.
Ian.
Good job, Ian.
That's a beautiful poster.
It's a beautiful poster.
It's a fun play of words.
And this was a very important film to me.
It was?
I do know pretty much all the words.
All the words to Pretty Ian Pink?
Yeah.
It's not a song.
Yeah, it is. It is actually. It It's not a song. Oh, yeah, it is.
It is, actually.
The psychedelic verse.
Yeah.
Oh, okay, so you just know that one song.
No, but you can recite, like, when Harry Dean stands in there,
you can say what he's saying?
More or less.
Like, when he asks Molly Rewald if she can put a little lace
on his undershirt.
But I'm paraphrasing.
I thought you knew every word.
I do.
I do, if I'm watching it.
They just have to be sequential.
Yes.
Can't just recall them from the middle.
Some I can, yeah.
Give us one of your favorite lines from Pretty in Pink.
What about prom, Blaine?
Andy, I gotta get to class.
No! What about prom?
You know,
I asked somebody else and I forgot.
You're a liar! You're a filthy, fucking
no-good liar! You're ashamed to be
seen with me! So there's that.
There's that.
That happened.
That might be a new thing that I ask people.
What movie do you have memorized
and do some of it for us?
I think that's fun.
Because everybody has something.
But sometimes you've got to think about it for a second
before you can access it.
All right.
So that's who everybody's playing on behalf of.
Somebody's going to win all this stuff.
I've prepared some games.
And the first one we're going to play is called Characters Welcome.
I'm going to say the names that are in the end credits of a motion picture.
And just random things I picked from one movie.
And just guess as often as you like, just the people on stage.
And if you get it right, you win the game.
You just shout it out?
Just shout, well, you know, say it into your microphone.
Wait.
There's no reason to blast everybody's ears out.
You don't have to be all like,
We're guessing the title of the movie?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
What movie has these characters in it?
Comedy Club MC.
Joker.
Punchline.
Wait, what did you say?
I said Joker.
That is correct!
Wow. Wow. Wait, what did you say? I said Joker. That is correct.
Wow.
Punchline was a better guess, and yet Joker was correct.
Yeah, that character was played by Chris Redd.
And then I was going to go on to say open mic comic, comedian,
and then eventually get to Arthur Fleck, a.k.a. Joker. But, Eliza, you really got us.
We were running late, but you got us back on schedule with that one.
Holy shit.
That means you get to get up first in our next game,
and it's called Fast and Furious Ladies.
Ooh.
Yeah.
called Fast and Furious Ladies.
Yeah. I'm going to say
to you, Eliza,
the name of
a
actress, and you're going to tell me
if she is in
Fast 5,
Furious 7,
or both.
Ugh.
Okay.
If you miss, then we move on to Lisa,
then to Sarah, then to Martha.
So anybody could steal
if two people in a row
don't know they're fast and
furious ladies.
Liza.
Gal
Gadot.
Now I'm supposed to say one or both?
Fast Five, Furious Seven, or both?
Furious Seven.
Incorrect.
Fuck.
Lisa.
Fast Five.
Incorrect.
Damn it. Sarah?
Both.
Both is correct.
I feel bad yelling incorrect
when she was in each of the movies you named.
But both was also an option.
Maybe it's flawed, though.
Maybe it's flawed.
Yeah, that felt weird.
I don't feel good about it.
But that does mean that you've got a point, Sarah.
Despite pure math luck.
Now we'll start with Martha Kelly.
Michelle Rodriguez.
Martha Kelly.
Was she in Fast Five, Furious Seven, or both?
Someone in the audience
is allergic
to Michelle Rodriguez.
I think that she
quit the series
and then came back
to surprise everybody
in Furious 7.
So what are you saying?
Furious 7?
Is that not one of the answers? So what are you saying? Furious 7?
Is that not one of the answers?
It is.
I just want to be clear.
Wait.
Can I change it?
You can, but I'd do that even if you were right.
Oh.
All right, I'll stick with my first answer. No, you're not right.
Sorry. Eliza?
Both. She's in both.
That's right. She's in both.
But you were right about her coming and going
from the series, Martha.
She wasn't in Tokyo Drift.
So pat yourself on the back
on that one.
Okay, so Eliza's got a point
and we're going to Lisa
Oh okay
Yeah
Yeah
Drop your fucking snacks
Shit's getting crazy
Drop your M&M's
And pay attention
I'll eat those
I'll eat them
I'll hold them for you
Thank you
Okay
Wait are we playing the game?
Yep
I've never seen someone Who can manage to Make it seem like they Wait, are we playing the game? Yep.
I've never seen someone who can manage to make it seem like they are
taking a long time chewing M&M's.
Like, how hard are they to finish off?
Are those steak M&M's?
Are those octopus-flavored M&M's
that are super chewy like octopus?
Okay.
Lisa?
Yeah?
Jordana Brewster.
What about her?
Was she in Fast Five, Furious Seven, or both?
I'm going to say she was in both of them. You are correct. Oh my God! Fast Five, Furious Seven, or both?
I'm going to say she's in both of them. You are
correct. Oh my god!
I'm going to eat an M&M
off the floor. Oh, okay.
Yeah, go ahead.
Tastes like
improv.
We're moving on. Every now and then it might be good.
We're moving on Every now and then it might be good
Take your time chewing on that
Because you don't need to speak for a little bit
Sarah
Yes
Ronda Rousey
Five, seven, or both?
I've never seen any of these movies.
Perfectly acceptable.
And I'm going to say she was in five.
Incorrect.
Martha?
Incorrect.
Martha?
I'm torn because both has been the right answer previously, but... Every time.
It seems like that's why the last one you'd trick us.
This isn't the last one.
Oh. I know you're going to trick us, but I'm going to say both.
Incorrect.
I'm sorry.
Eliza?
Five.
I'm kidding.
Seven.
Seven is correct. Eliza? Five. I'm kidding. Seven. Seven is correct.
Yes.
Very good.
Lisa?
Hang on.
Let me get a sour patch.
I'm holding the M&Ms for you.
No, no.
It's fine.
But I'm putting them down for you in my sour patch.
You were.
That was nice.
Yeah.
Nice.
Iggy Azalea nice Iggy Azalea
Iggy Azalea
Yeah, 5'7 or both
You have a mischievous look on your face
So I'm gonna say
I have resting mischievous face
R.M.F.
R.M.F. R.M.F.
I love that I'm thinking when I,
it's all just a guess.
So I'm going to say both.
No.
Meh.
Sarah.
Iggy Azalea the rapper?
No, the other one.
Musical performer?
No, Iggy Azalea the vice president of the United States.
She'd be better, am I right?
Yeah!
Not much, though.
First things first.
Not much, though.
First things first.
I feel like she was hot earlier, so I'm going to say five.
Oh, no.
Dang it.
Martha.
Well, seven.
Just take a guess.
That's correct. That's correct.
All right, here's one more chance
For somebody to
Oh it's Eliza
You could just take this thing down right now
Oh okay
Eva Mendez
Eva Mendez
Eva Mendez She should just be one name Eva Mendez Eva Mendes
She should just be one name
Eva Mendes
Eva Mendes
I am
Eva Mendes
Eva Mendes
Both
No
Fuck
Lisa
Five
That is correct
Lisa
We've got a tie You can't hesitate We've got a tie.
You can't hesitate.
We've got a tie between Lisa and Eliza.
You can't have any more Sour Patch.
Oh, yeah.
Cut her off.
Cut her off.
Make this count.
So here's how we're going to settle this tie.
It's resealable.
I sealed it.
I'm going to ask a question.
I'm going to ask for a certain person
and the first one of you
between Lisa and Eliza who
could tell me the name
of this person.
You're going to ask
the name of the person?
Okay. I'll go with it.
I don't understand either.
Who is Tom Selleck?
Oh, good pre-guess,
but no. Just tell me.
You're out. No, I'm not kidding.
You get a guess as often as you want.
And it's going to be over with fast.
Which current Oscar
nominee is in The Fate of the Furious?
This narrows it down to nine human beings.
Only nine people got it?
Well, ten women were nominated, and two of them were Scarlett Johansson.
We're just talking acting.
Yeah.
Okay.
In the actress categories.
Don't bother Tom Hanks with this.
It's an actress?
Yeah, which current Oscar nominee?
Did you hear about the Oscar nominees?
Mm-mm.
Oh, shit.
Renee Zellweger!
Let me give you another clue.
See that?
Yeah, see?
Did I get it right?
That's one of the nine.
Yeah.
But another one of the nine...
So I did not get it right.
...is also known for her role as
Furiosa in
Charlize Theron
there you go
we did it Eliza won that game
which means she gets to go first
in Last Woman Stanton
you can have Sour Patch Kids again
yeah please Sour Patch it up
I am going to get the name of an actress You can have Sour Patch Kids again now. Yeah, please. Sour Patch it up.
I am going to get the name of an actress from an audience member,
and then we're going to take turns.
I like to play along.
We're going to take turns naming movies
that that actress has been in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
You do have one lifeline, though.
You can go to your person whose name tag you chose.
You can go to that person once.
And who just won that game?
Eliza? Yeah.
So we'll start with Eliza, then we'll go to Martha.
Switch the order around.
And raise your hand,
audience members, if you...
Like, what?
Honestly, I've
got to tell the listeners, people just raise their hand
because I said raise your hand.
This cult is out of control.
Let me change the instruction.
Bring me some weed.
I know, you're going to do that too.
All right, here we go.
Raise your hand if you have a suggestion for Last Woman Stanton.
It has to be a woman.
Let's ask a woman sitting right there.
Yes, you.
Dame Judi Dench.
Dame Judi Dench.
This is perfect because we're running out of time.
And we'll end this thing quickly.
So it's the films of James Judi Dench.
James Judi Dench?
James Judi.
James Doody Dench?
James Doody.
Oh, I know every movie he's been in. Doody.
It's my favorite garbage pill actor.
This is the films of Doody Stench.
Sir Doody Stench.
I still wrote down Dame Doody. I can't stop it. Dame Doody.
I can't stop it.
Dame Doody.
This is a dame we're talking about.
She's a dame.
And Eliza, what do you got for Dame Doody?
Oh, boy.
I know, right?
Iris?
This is going to be over in no time.
Good one. Thank you was she oscar nominated
for that one maybe was she even in it okay uh you said good one so yeah i have to accept it we'll
get the corrections department involved later uh martha unforgettable in the movie cats oh yes of
course what did the version you saw have sometimes they have human hands they all had human god Unforgettable in the movie Cats. Oh, yes, of course. What?
Did the version you saw have, sometimes they have human hands?
They all had human hands. God damn it.
What a weird ass movie.
We got the cheap version.
You got the cheap version?
In bootleg versions, they don't have paws?
They have human hands?
Sarah?
Shakespeare in Love.
Yeah, she won the Oscar
for that one, didn't she?
She was nominated and she was in the movie for like two minutes
or something like that. Yeah, it was crazy.
She was all like...
Kind of like cats.
It was the same performance.
Finally we're...
Everyone's noticing.
There's that one movie she's in.
I'm having trouble figuring out how to pronounce,
how to say it.
Skyfall.
Was that your trash talking?
Yeah, my trash talking is to act like I'm not sure
and then say it.
Lisa.
You got nothing?
Go to your lifeline.
Go to your lifeline.
Oh, yeah.
Ian.
Ian.
Casino Royale, he says.
Okay.
Yeah, sure.
She was in for a while.
I don't know which one.
Thank you.
Eliza.
Was she in that
Marigold Hotel movie
why wouldn't she be
so let's say yeah
okay
Marigold Hotel
the man in the moon
Marigold
love it
no the
weekend at
Marigold
hotel
yeah
I'll give it to you
just for
weekend at
Bernie's
Marigold Hotel
I don't know
I didn't watch it
how'd you know that?
I did.
She was in it.
That's amazing.
You guys are amazing.
Martha?
I just see a lot of previews.
If I guess and she's not in it, am I out?
Yeah.
Then I'll use my life line.
Go to your life line.
Max?
Red Joan.
What?
Max?
Red Joan.
It says Red Joan. Okay, What? Max? Red Joan. It says Red Joan.
Okay, we'll go with Red Joan.
Yeah, that sounds good to me.
Never heard of it.
I'm down with it.
Sarah?
Thank you, Max.
I mean, look at the crossed arms.
He's confident.
I mean, it's clearly made up, but we're not questioning him.
No, he's made up a perfect answer.
I'm going to say, and hope that the title is correct,
Tea with the Ladies.
Somebody's saying that's right, so I'm going to follow that lead.
The Tea with the Ladies is a fucking movie.
I saw it with my mom, and about 20 minutes in, she was like, is a fucking movie. I saw it with my mom and about 20 minutes in she was like
is this the movie?
It's just the four ladies
talking. She thought there might be
a lot of trailers
of movies about
women having tea and
talking. She was like when does the movie start?
Which she wasn't wrong.
Okay. Yeah I do remember that.
I think it was an HBO thing or something.
But I'm into it.
No, the one I was getting at earlier
that I figured out in the interim
is...
Oh, fuck.
She wasn't in that.
Now I'm going to fuck it up again.
But I'm going to just say it.
I don't mind getting knocked out at this point
because we've really gone far on these Dame Judi Dench movies.
But Philomena?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Philomena?
Okay, good.
I kept thinking, is it Wilhelmina or Philhelmina
but it's Philhelmina
who's next
me
Lisa
you're just chewing on M&M's
over there
no no I moved on to Sour Patch
okay those are chewy are you excused
thank you
I'm torn between two
that I'm sure are wrong.
One of them is that movie
with Steve Martin and they
have a family and their son's
masturbating. No, she's
not in that. Okay.
That's Diane Wiest.
Oh, that's who I'm thinking of.
Of Lost Boys fame.
No,
James Doody Dench.
Oh, we gotta go.
Okay.
Four weddings and a funeral.
Okay, you're out.
Okay.
Eliza?
Heavens to Betsy.
Is that really a thing? Yeah, I remember that was the one
about the
she's a nanny
and then she dies
and goes to heaven
and then she has to
come back
but she's one of the kids
and they sing that song
She's making this up
Everyone is a Betsy
if you've got the time to be
Everyone is a Betsy
if you're a Betsy
just like me
then all the kids
dance around in a circle
Have you gone
to your lifeline yet?
She should get a
she should get a point either way I have not Can I do that? Have you gone to your lifeline yet? She should get a point either way.
I have not.
Can I do that? Let's go to your lifeline, yes.
Okay.
Ben?
Oh, Betsy. Oh, Betsy.
What do you got
over there, Ben?
Murder on the Orient Express.
Murder on the Orient Express.
Everyone is a murder
if America is me.
Please write that.
All right, Martha.
I thought Heavens to Betsy was real.
the one so it's
it's with Kate Blanchett
and she has sex with a high
schooler and
Judy Dench
plays the judgmental
lady
I can't remember the name
I can't think of it either
is it the
I think it's a woman's name
no
is it
oh wait
yeah okay
uh huh I got it
uh oh
oh shit
is it um
I don't know
we're running out of time
I give up
it's okay
you did great
well
good job
yeah
Sarah
I have to go to my lifeline Mindeline what do you got lifeline mindy
in what quantum of solace sure why not sure why the fuck not she's not in it she will be now in our hearts. Who else is still in?
Liza.
You're not?
You know.
Okay.
I don't want to show off at this point.
Carol?
I think so.
Oh, she's in Carol?
That wasn't that movie.
Everyone is a Carol.
Did you play the queen in something?
I know a movie that Martha was talking about
but I can't think
of what it was called
I'm sure it's not Carol
I feel like it's Carol
I don't think it is
I don't think she's in Carol
no
I mean that would be
a weird name for a movie
was she
Carol
was she in the
Downton Abbey movie
mm-mm
was she
was she
was she one of the
Harry Potter kids
she should have been
she should have been
but no.
Expecto Patron.
Yeah.
All right, so who's the winner?
I think me.
Okay.
No, I'm kidding.
No, because you're out, Sarah?
No, I just, well, my lifeline helped.
Your lifeline helped, so yeah, maybe Sarah's the winner then.
Yeah, Sarah's the winner.
You did it.
Woo!
Sarah's the winner then.
Yeah, Sarah's the winner.
You did it.
Where's your person you picked? Right here.
My person wins.
Yay.
Come grab all your stuff.
That's all from you.
Happy birthday.
Congratulations.
Oh, happy birthday.
You got some good loot.
Birthday for life.
Thank you.
Yeah, live it up.
Sorry, Ian.
Yeah. Sorry, Ben. Sorry, Ian. Yeah.
Sorry, Ben.
Sorry, Max.
Thanks for the candy.
And she got the winning answer, so she really earned it.
Yeah, that was exciting.
Yeah.
I mean, if I was better at hosting, that would have been very exciting ending.
Alex Trebek doesn't look around and go, which one of you won?
If you say it,
I'll go, you know, just own it. That's the
thing. Just act like you won.
Who cares
about the actual statistics?
I had so many Helen Mirren movies
ready to go. Oh my god.
She's in everything.
But let's do some plugs. What do you got
to plug, Lisa Delarios?
I have a show this Friday night at Skip Town Playhouse.
I host with Andrea Rosen.
It's a stand-up comedy show.
Come on out, guys.
Hey, do you think Andrea would do this sometime?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that'd be cool.
Let's hook that up.
She's awesome.
Yeah, she's very good.
All right, what's up with you, Eliza Skinner?
I'm doing the Benson Interruption this weekend.
Yeah, San Francisco. Road trip, you guys. What's up with you, Eliza Skinner? I'm doing the Benson Interruption this weekend.
Yeah, San Francisco.
Road trip, you guys.
Also, I have a podcast called Cool Playlist where I make a playlist for a specific life event,
moment, or occasion with a special guest.
And it's fun.
You should listen to it.
That's awesome.
Yeah, thank you.
We'd all like to be on it.
Yeah, I'd love to have all you on.
All right, cool.
Martha? I'm doing
I can't remember
you're starring in the Academy Award nominated
Best Picture Marriage Story
and where can we see you do 10 minutes
around town
I think the 25th
Friday the 25th,
Friday the 25th of this month,
I'm doing a show called
That's Huge. I don't know
where. And
then that Monday...
Sounds like a big venue, though.
It might be the
Virgil. And then that
Monday the 28th, I think
I'm doing the Neil Hamburger show at the Satellite.
Yeah.
Yeah, just find her, you guys.
Make an effort.
Why does she have to tell you where she's going to be?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Find it and go see her.
I forget to.
Yeah, and appreciate her, the greatness it is Martha Kelly and Sarah Baker
is Kaminsky Method
coming back for third season?
we don't know
you don't know yet?
no
interesting
yeah
but why wouldn't it?
well yeah
there's details
there's details
check that out if you haven't
also I encourage you to find
a movie that I had a small part in
called The Death of Dick Long which is a
super weird good movie
and I can say that because my part is small
and you can buy it
I think on like iTunes and stuff
I can't really tell you what it's about because it has a big
twist but it's directed by
Daniel Scheinert who's one half of
the Daniels who directed
Swiss Army Men yeah it's a by Daniel Scheinert, who's one half of the Daniels who directed Swiss Army Men.
Yeah, it's a good A24 movie.
Yeah, no, he definitely keeps the Swiss Army Men weirdness going.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, absolutely.
Let's hear it for all of my guests.
Lisa Delario, Celiza Skinner, Martha Kelly, and Sarah Baker.
I'll be back right here in two weeks with more great guests.
And as always,
positive energy!
Now it's time for Doug
to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold,
his viewing prowess
makes him cocky.
There's no room
in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies!