Doug Loves Movies - Sarah Burns, Kate Flannery and Megan Neuringer guest
Episode Date: November 15, 2015Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in Los Angeles, Doug welcomes actor-comedians Sarah Burns, Kate Flannery and Megan Neuringer to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and ...California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seats with 50-azer top or turtles in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't sleep, because Doug loves movies.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you from the Nerd Melt showroom in the back of Meltdown Comics in Hollywood, California
on Saturday, November 14th, 2015.
Let me see your name tags, Los Angeles.
Lots of people brought them.
Most of those people got here early and sat up front.
Oh, wow, you lifted up that little lion
and it made me go...
I don't know the words to the Lion King.
But what's your name tag?
What's your name?
Your name is Kimba in real life?
Kim, okay.
I was going to say,
what a horrible name, Kimba.
But good for you.
There's a guy with a thing on his phone.
It's a picture of me and you, and what's the movie?
Bowen Arrow.
Bowen Arrow instead of Broken Arrow?
And what's your name?
Bowen.
Bowen.
Your name is Bowen?
Your last name?
No, that's my first name.
Your first name is Bowen?
Yeah.
I wish your last name was Arrow.
What's your last name?
Sanders.
Sanders.
Bowen Sanders. Yeah. What's your last name? Sanders. Bowen Sanders.
That's a pretty cool name.
Are your parents in show business or something? Or hippies?
No? Just normal people gave you
that name?
Hard to believe. Mult-owl-plicity.
I like that. Any reference
to multiplicity? That's a movie
that people don't remember as fondly
as... Probably it's remembered remember as fondly as...
Probably it's remembered
exactly as fondly as it should be.
Jonti's
Peak.
Sedadante's Peak. Alright.
What's this?
Chelsea's
Manchester?
What does that mean?
Chelsea's the man instead of she's the man. But your last name is Manchester? What does that mean? Chelsea's the man?
Instead of she's the man.
But your last name is Manchester?
So you went Chelsea,
Manchester.
Okay, and covered up that crazy
girl's face.
Doesn't it star that crazy girl?
Amanda Bynes?
Yeah, that's an appropriate
title for her, right?
Crazy girl?
Oh, Topher, where art thou?
Because your name is Christopher.
It is.
And Topher, as we all know, is short for Christopher.
And Kelsie instead of Wally.
Lots of good ones tonight, you guys, today, this afternoon.
Sam M. Sam, really?
I love it. Yeah, you did? Because, this afternoon. Sam M. Sam, really? I love it.
Yeah, you did? Because your name's Sam? So Sam M. Sam.
That sounds like something
that Sean Penn would say in that movie.
Because he goes,
as Robert Downey Jr. says
in Tropic Thunder, he goes
full-blown.
Full-blown R-word.
I'm not using the R-word anymore.
I've decided it's insensitive.
Somebody said boo, really?
Boo!
Gotta take down them retards.
Take them down a peg.
Plugs.
I'll be on Movie Fights tomorrow at 10 a.m. on YouTube,
Talking Dead tomorrow night on AMC,
at midnight on Comedy Central Monday night,
and next weekend I'll be appearing at the Whatever Fest in Houston, Texas.
Next, Douglas Movies taping right here in the Meltdown hotbox
is Tuesday, November 24th.
And I've already booked the star of one of my favorite movies of this year,
and I anticipate a cancellation.
And I just booked somebody else today that's also in a movie
that I just saw and enjoyed a great deal.
DougLovesMovies.com for all things Doug.
That's Douglovesmovies.com.
From the corrections department,
the baby in Adam's Family Values is named Pubert,
not Pugsley, and that's the whole reason I brought it up
was to just say the name Pubert
because I think a baby with a mustache named Pubert is hilarious,
and that's my favorite part of any Addams Family movie.
And I said Pugsley for some
reason instead of Pubert.
And, uh,
Hugh Grant was
in Remains of the Day.
I'm glad that's been resolved.
Got a huge prize box, you guys.
It's so chock full of stuff.
I taped up the bottom so it wouldn't fall apart
when you leave with it tonight,
but I wouldn't trust it if I were you.
There's just so much stuff in here.
So let me break it down for you as quickly as I can.
This is a promotional item.
There's nothing inside it,
but it's still a cool coffin a cool, you know, coffin made out of cardboard or whatever.
And then the front of the coffin says, for each generation, there is only one Slayer.
So I don't remember exactly what the context was, but this has something to do with Buffy
the Vampire Slayer.
And I have it and am giving it, paying it forward.
I worked on the TV show
remember that show Moonlighting with Bruce Willis
and Sybil Shepard? This is an
official moonlighting hoodie
it's a red hoodie
so it's particularly great for crossing
the street
I had a couple lines
in an episode of Friends called
The One Where Ross Moves In
this is the original
final draft script.
I know. I can't believe I'm giving
that away. It's because I have two
copies. Also,
I'm getting rid of all my
doubles. I don't have
two of this, and I don't think anybody should have one
of this. It's
Planet Hollywood The Game.
Yeah.
And of course, I have to up that with a schmovie.
Last schmovie I'm ever going to give away, by the way. Don't gasp. It's a hassle for me to carry around so many schmovies. This is one of the heaviest things in the box.
It's 50 DVR plus R discs.
Video, photos, data, discs. I don't know why anyone would need all this.
I certainly don't.
So somebody's gonna get it today.
I'm gonna fall over from the weight
of all the stuff I'm just holding,
and there's still a shit ton more stuff in the box.
This is ridiculous, you guys.
We've got a mug from more stuff in the box. This is ridiculous, you guys.
We've got a mug from my friends at Star Wars Minute.
They brought by a mug and some stickers.
I got some original art drawn.
There's one that's a Beetlejuice thing, I think.
Drawn by a young lady who gave these to me.
I wish I could even remember what city she gave them to me in.
Oh, here we go.
Her name is Kelly McKernan,
and I got these, oh, it still doesn't say where,
but kellymckernan.com.
Yeah, it's where you can find more art by her.
This is...
I can't even...
barely move right now.
I've got...
There's so much more in this box.
You know what?
I'm going to start throwing things on the floor
because I can't hold it all anymore.
Not this mug.
Let's not get crazy.
But a schmovie can handle it.
No, I'm not going to drop that either.
Planet Hollywood can handle it.
The Friends
script can handle it. So can the
Buffy coffin.
Someone in the back is laughing
way too hard at this.
Alright.
What else is in here?
I already showed you that.
Oh, this is an awesome, heavy book
called 25 Years of Warner Brothers.
Entertaining the World.
Oh, well, aren't you bragging?
Might be some parts of the world.
And now I'm getting a runny nose.
This is going terribly.
This is a bad one.
Okay, so then I have a bunch of VHS copies of movies,
which if you don't have VHS...
If you win today and you don't have a player,
a VHS player, then I apologize.
Maybe you could just, you know,
give them to everybody else that's here.
A couple more little items.
This is my last Taylor Swift item, a wristband from
a Taylor Swift show.
A nice little button
from the, I think this is
from the Broadway version of
Aladdin.
A nice little
wrist, beaded wrist
thing that somebody made and gave
to me. That's probably crying
somewhere right now that I turned around and gave to me. It's probably crying somewhere right now that I
turned around and gave it away.
This is on VHS.
The original pilot for
Arrested Development.
I've got a book called
Eats, Shoots, and Leaves.
And it's all about
a zero tolerance approach to
punctuation because each shoots and leaves if depending on the punctuation
could mean that somebody has something to eat and throws a basketball into a
hoop and then leaves or someone is eating shoots and then leaves so it depends on the punctuation
oh this is cool i found one last free pops hot dogs i used to give them away all the time until
i ran out but i got one last free hot dog from pops and then vhs copies of hold your applause until the end the first Casino
Royale with Peter Sellers and Woody Allen Annie Hall with Woody Allen the
Kings Gangs of New York with Leonardo DiCaprio taking of Pelham 1 2 3 that's
the original of Walter Matthau oh a copy of the original pilot for Heat Vision and Jack, the show that never happened.
You guys are going, oh, like you're going to really spend a lot of time watching VHS tapes.
Pulp Fiction, Doug digs it, 1941, I dig that too.
Hard Target, not so much.
Singing in the Rain, of course that's a classic.
The Fury, have you ever seen The Fury?
Brian De Palma's The Fury, that's a lot of fun.
Barry Manilow, volume one.
So, sorry to sell you up short on that.
Married to the Mob, That's a underrated Jonathan
Demme movie. The Outfit starring Robert
Duvall. I didn't even watch that one.
I should probably keep that one.
The Gambler with James Caan.
This is like
Jenga.
Oh shit, this is really going to topple it
because it's
my so-called life the entire
series.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
and
a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt.
All of that... All of that stuff is gonna go to somebody
who's gonna have to carry this heavy box
and this burden for who knows how long.
So I apologize.
Maybe less people will come to the tapings
because they're worried about winning.
There'll certainly be less name tags.
So I packed it much better
the first time,
so it's also going to be
an overflowing box of stuff.
Because also,
my guests brought some stuff,
and they will share
those things with you.
Please welcome,
from the Motion Picture
Slow Learners,
Sarah Burns,
Kate Flannery,
and Megan Neuringer.
Thank you.
Hey, you guys.
Hi, everybody.
I love show business.
How are you?
These are the tallest chairs.
I feel like a kid.
Yeah, you could swing your feet a little bit on those.
Let's start with closest to me and the co-lead along with Adam Pally of Slow
Learners. It's Sarah Burns, everybody.
Hi, guys. Hello.
I've been told I have a very shitty mic
work. I'm sorry. Oh, really?
You work very hard on it. So far, yeah, you're doing good
so far. It's all concentration. Yeah, just talk into it.
It's the main thing.
Okay.
You know, get too close to it.
You know, you can never be too close
other than full on having it in your mouth,
which I wouldn't recommend
because of everyone that's held it before you.
But Sarah co-stars, like I said, with Adam Pally,
who I, of course, invited to be here
because he's been on the show before.
And he sent me the following message.
I'd love to, but I'm in New York then.
So that's his excuse.
He is.
Instagram confirms.
Okay.
Sister's wedding.
Sister's wedding.
Instagram confirms.
Oh, for his sister's wedding.
He could have added that detail.
I would have been even more willing to let him off the hook.
If it's on Instagram, it must be true.
Yeah.
Shit, I'm doing it again.
But it's a very, very funny movie,
and it is on VOD as we speak,
so people could pause this and go watch it if they wanted to.
Or watch it concurrently.
Yeah.
You should be quite confused.
Oh, that'd be, yeah, that'd be,
that'd be very strange to keep listening to this. But you're welcome to do it if that's how you float your boat. Yeah. You should be quite confused. Oh, that'd be, yeah, that'd be very strange
to keep listening to this.
But you're welcome to do it
if that's how you float your boat.
Yeah, whatever boat floating
you want to do.
And did you bring something for us
for the prize bag today?
Yes.
Speaking of slow learners.
I brought a poster,
which is, it's like redeemable
for a DVD or a Blu-ray.
It acts as like a ticket,
a very large ticket with my face on it.
Well, because whoever wins today,
you will get their address,
or someone with you will get their address
and send them a copy of the movie
when it comes out on DVD.
And they can enjoy it at home
or on the streets, wherever they so choose.
And I also brought a large poster
from the movie I Love You, Man,
because it's been in my house for like seven years
and it feels weird because the house is very small
and I don't want to display my trophies.
So if you want to display this in your home.
Wow.
Yeah, it's not just a big poster.
It's like framed and ready to go.
If you want Jason Segel and Paul Rudd on your wall...
Your dream is about to come true.
Maybe you have a movie room.
It would go great in your movie room.
If you want David Foster Wallace and Ant-Man
to stare at you all day, every day,
then this is the way to go with this poster.
That's terrific.
And you also brought and got everybody to sign
a poster for the movie from Slow Learners.
Yes.
We've got that as well.
Yes.
And also featured in Slow Learners is Kate Flannery, everybody.
What's up?
Thank you so much.
It's her second time here on the program.
It is the second time.
It's been a minute since you were on, but it's very nice to have you back. It's always second time here on the program. It's been a minute since you were on,
but it's very nice to have you back.
It's always nice to be asked back. It always is.
It's like a second date. It's always nice to be
asked back. Asked back.
Asked
back. Asked backwards.
Don't forget to use your microphone voice,
Sarah. Whenever you say something,
we want to hear it.
It's good to be back, right Sarah?
It's great to be back. Eat the mic.
Eat the mic.
What else have you been up to
besides appearing in this motion
picture? Is there anything else people can be looking
for right now? Well, I have a movie
coming out in February called Fourth Man Out
about
kind of the new experience of coming out in America,
which is a total comedy,
and there's no drama about coming out
and being gay in America anymore.
But it's true.
That sounded funnier in my head
than it did in your side.
I like that.
And I'm actually touring with Jane Lynch.
She is doing this kind of anti-cabaret act,
and we're touring all over the country,
and I'm like her sidekick.
And we have a five-piece band,
and we just did
eight shows at Joe's Pub in New York in August
but we were in like Toronto anyway
it's a long, just go to the website
you're already so great at the whole cabaret thing as part of the Lampshades
yes and I'm still doing Lampshades
we just did Festival Supreme
we're gonna open for
Richard Sheen, we're doing a bunch of Christmas shows
with the Lampshades, we're doing Harry Shearer's show
at Largo and
Stanathon with Fred Willard and then we're doing a bunch of Christmas shows with the Lampshades. We're doing Harry Shearer's show at Largo and Stanathon
with Fred Willard
and then we're doing
our own Christmas thing.
So, you know,
whatever.
Just go to
thelampshades.com
or find me on Instagram.
If Kate Flannery's there
and there's cabaret involved,
it's going to be
hella entertaining.
Or kind of anti-cabaret more.
Right, of course.
I make fun of all those assholes.
I'm sorry.
It's a hate crime
against cabaret.
It sort of is.
But it's still got singing in it.
This is true.
This is true.
You have to be good to be bad.
You know what I mean?
You have to be, you know,
you have to be listenable.
You know, after 15 seconds of Bad Lounge,
no one can tolerate your soul.
So you have to have some other hook.
I know you were talking about Barry Manilow recently.
I just did a show at Bimbo's in San Francisco
as a lampshade.
Thank you.
We have a Bimbo's fan.
And there was a guy who sang like a..., we have a Bimbos fan. And there was a guy
who sang like a punch.
Who isn't a Bimbos fan.
They've taken the,
they've taken the term back.
But they,
they,
somebody sang the theme to,
the Barry Manilow
sang the theme to,
oh my God,
it was a Chevy Chase movie.
Yeah,
it fell play.
It fell play.
It fell play.
Oh my God,
you win a poster.
No,
I don't know
do you
no more yelling out answers
from the audience
what was the answer
what was the answer
I had control of that one
foul play
foul play
I'm ready to change
my pants again
ready to put my clothes
on the line for you
oh Doug
I love it
oh my god
holy shit a guest star that is amazing the line for you. Doug, I love it. Oh my God.
Holy shit.
A guest star.
That is amazing.
Maybe Doug.
Oh my God. I'm not a singer,
but I can do two lines
of a stupid parody version
of I'm Ready to Take a Chance Again.
That's a theme to Foul Play.
Remember the beginning of Foul Play?
That song's playing over a VW bug
driving up through the hills of Sausalito or somewhere.
Marin.
That movie.
Yeah, and it's a great movie.
Chevy Chase, Cody Horn.
Yeah.
The woman who's the maid is like,
I go, I get my feet a scrape, and I go.
Is that the one where she...
Probably.
Seems like something would happen in that movie.
It's very not...
But it introduced the world to Dudley Moore,
or at least this part of the world,
because he was a very funny pervert in that movie
that kept getting caught by a Goldie Hawn
doing perverted things.
Right.
That's when back when being a pervert was funny.
Wait, did he fall in love after?
What?
Back in the day, a pervert could peep on you,
and then five scenes later,
you're in love with your pervert.
Now, she was in love with Chevy Chase
because he was a movie star at the time
and then three or four movies later
he decided not to be anymore
and was in complete crap for the rest of his career.
But not all of it.
I mean, obviously Community's a good show,
but Chevy Chase, you know,
also who needs him?
Like, Community's fine without him.
But before,
this is a lot of negativity right
now and I didn't mean to do that before introducing Megan Neuringer everybody
also in slow learners because Doug Benson loves a theme show especially a
theme show around an enjoyable movie.
And Megan is hilarious in the very first scene in the film.
Yeah, I am.
Yeah.
Thanks.
That's right.
She really is, though, seriously.
Yeah, everybody, you're all great in it.
It's a really fun movie.
I don't like rom-coms as a general rule
because usually there's too much rom and not enough com.
And by com, I mean C-A-L-M.
Just relax, everybody.
No.
It's just a fun, fun movie.
And I'm excited that you're all here to participate in my thing today.
Thanks for having us.
Thanks, Doug.
And oh, I forgot to ask Kate what you brought for the prize bag.
Except for this poster, just me.
Is that bad?
No, but you brought a poster from the movie.
Yes.
And everybody signed it, right?
Everybody signed it.
And also, yes, I have one with actually the PR guy's card so you can actually really follow up
if you don't get the DVD.
You have somebody to bitch at.
So it's all good.
It'll all happen.
It'll happen.
Richard's very nice,
but he's given us his card
so if you have to abuse him verbally or via email,
he's...
Get the swag, baby.
Get the swag.
Oh, and he also gave us these bland Live Cool bracelets.
Yeah, they're like flesh-colored wrist braces.
They're not bland.
Oh, Megan likes hers. They're cool.
I mean, I'll give my number.
They're cool. They kind of look like they might
glow in the dark, but I have a feeling they don't.
They don't. I don't think they do either.
Honestly, as a conversation starter,
you meet a babe at a party
and you go, I think these glow in the dark.
Drag them to the dark and be like,
it's broken.
But you still made a connection. It's broken, but this condom in my pocket glows in the dark and be like it's broken but you still made a connection
it's broken
but this condom
in my pocket
glows in the dark
that's also broken
give me a baby
you should be wearing
when you arrive at the party
you should already
be wearing the condom
yeah yeah yeah
male female
when you get to the party
you should already
be having a condom on
you should always
show up at a party
wearing a condom
yeah be optimistic
you never know
when you're just
going to start
spontaneously fucking.
That's how I roll.
Never know.
You cannot.
You never know
when you're going to be
in somebody
or have someone inside you.
That's right.
So just be ready.
Yeah, because like,
especially if you drink,
I drink a lot.
I love to be drunk
and like,
I don't always know
if someone is entering me.
So do you have a diaphragm?
Do you wear a diaphragm?
Sarah, we're worried.
I'm sorry. That's weird. I shouldn't have. Do you have an IUD? Some you wear a diaphragm? Sarah, we're worried. I'm sorry.
That's weird.
I shouldn't have...
Do you have an IUD diaphragm?
Some people don't knock
before entering,
so you just gotta...
Who's there?
I'm not...
I don't have...
I will get an IUD.
Come around back.
I'm drinking a white cooler.
Who knows what's next?
You know, like, no.
This is screwed up.
This is very...
Where's Chevy Chase's career
that we can abuse
and go back
to that level of darkness?
Poor Chevy.
But so that's what you brought for the prize bag, Megan?
Is it one of those bracelets?
It's a bracelet.
And funny enough, there's a poster inside of the bracelet.
Signed by all the females of Slow Learners.
So you're going to get several posters and then all this crap that I brought
and I hope you're not riding on the subway
or walking.
It's Los Angeles.
Yeah, I hope you're going to Uber or something.
What's the red sweatshirt?
It's from the TV show Moonlighting.
Do you remember that?
Wait, is it a hoodie with a zip or no zip?
It's a zip. I don't want it.
Was it worn by
either Sybil or Bruce?
No, no, they didn't wear it.
I don't want it.
It's got Bruno's sweat in it.
So, yeah.
It's just one they gave to me
because I worked on the show for a little bit.
Did you?
Did you really?
Yeah, yeah.
Were you four?
Was there a baby on that show?
I don't remember.
It was one of my first jobs, yeah.
One of the first things I did in the industry.
You got your SAG card.
Yeah, I got my SAG card
because of that episode
where we all sing happy birthday to Simple Shepherd.
Simple Shepherd?
Wait.
Yeah, I was in any episode you watch,
I'm one of the people in the office walking around.
Are you dead serious?
Yeah.
Are you moonlighting as an actor?
I was one of the Blue Moon Detective Agency employees.
Holy shit.
And they never had any cases,
but they had a bunch of employees
walking around, like,
doing stuff in the background.
Dude, that never happened
on The Office.
We never had somebody
walking around in the background
acting like they were working.
I should have thought about it.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Is that what turned you off rom-coms?
No, that's a, you know...
We're gonna break it down.
It's a good rom-com,
because it's more, again, more calm than rom.
I mean, it took them three seasons before they got it on.
And then once they did, it ruined the show.
There you go.
Don't do it.
It's just like, who's the boss?
You don't want Tony and Angela together.
That's right.
You don't want Tony and Samantha together.
Wait, what?
I wanted Mona and Tony to, like, finally break it down because the sexual tension between
those two.
Mona!
Their couple name is, what is it?
Moni?
Moni.
It's Moni, right?
Yeah, like Bonifara.
Tona, Moni.
I don't know.
We didn't do it back then.
What a sexy grandma.
Can I tell you something?
When she taped that role, she was 35 years old.
That's Hollywood for you.
That's Hollywood for you.
Just kidding.
The camera adds
10 years and she had five cameras on her
yeah so I'm moving so I've been inhaling a lot of dust because all my shit is
covered in dust you mean pot dust yeah yeah it's covered it's covered in pot
dust and I've been inhaling as much of it as I can.
Sounds like your place is great.
Don't move.
Yeah, and so I'm very sniffly right now.
Ooh.
But let's go down the line real quickly
before we get into the game portion of the show,
and let's assess if you've seen anything lately
that's worth talking about.
Have you been to the movies, Sarah?
Yes.
What did you see?
I saw Goodnight Mommy.
Oh, boy.
Tell them about it.
It pissed me off.
Really? Why?
Because, oh, I read this article about it
that was like,
this is the scariest movie
you're ever going to see all year.
And I was like, sign me on.
And I've been like,
lobbying to see this movie. And I went to see it the other day. And I was like, this is the scariest movie you're ever gonna see all year. And I was like, sign me on. And I've been like, lobbying to see this movie. And I went to see it the other day,
and I was like so disturbed.
I thought it was gonna be scary, like thrilling,
but it was like torture porn.
And I was very, very aroused,
but I didn't want to be aroused.
But no, I was like, this is so scary.
And there was like a twist in it
that was very psychological and thrilling, but by that point I was like this is so scary and like there was like a twist in it that was very
psychological and like thrilling but by that point I was angry because there was like torture and
like physical torturing and I just was like pissed I almost got up like outraged but I of course
stayed I just put my coat over my head you mean what what what part of someone getting their mouth
closed with super glue and then cut open again with an X-Acto knife.
Don't you like?
Which part of that do you think is torture?
Well, it's just that they were ruining that beautiful rug.
That beautiful rug was going to get destroyed.
Yes.
And I know with a woman who has cats, like, rugs aren't easy to protect.
So I was like, this is shit.
Is this about the twins and their mom?
But.
But.
But.
But.
Don't tell me.
Is it M. Night Shyamalan?
No. No. But. Don't tell me. Is it M. Night Shyamalan? No.
No.
He wishes.
His stuff is usually not, like she said, torture porn.
It's more, you know, just a thriller with a twist or whatever.
Who did Goodnight Mommy?
But this is.
An Austrian director.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not in English.
It's subtitles.
Now I get it.
Say no more.
But it's for people who want that kind of creepy,
but you're right.
It's not scary as much as it's just disgusting.
Yeah.
Yeah, and disturbing.
It's like that stuff can happen.
If someone's doing it in a film,
like someone's doing it somewhere else.
Oh, you think?
Put that out there, but like...
Yeah, don't give anybody that idea.
I mean...
Tired of someone talking in your life
super glue their mouth shut i'm in like so much trouble
what about you kate have you been to the cinema lately yeah i saw uh the tom hanks uh steven
spielberg movie uh was it bridge of spies bridge of spies yeah one of the harder titles to remember
yeah just sort of a vague title.
I thought it was beautifully shot, but kind of boring.
And I thought the music kind of really dated it.
Like he needs to get, I'm sorry.
The music was beautiful, but it's like it's so.
John Williams?
I think so, but it's so like it just, it's like if you're blind and you're in the other room,
you still know what's going on because of the music
and it's a little too
that's no offense to anyone who's blind because they probably are smarter than I am
but like
sorry blind people
you know blind people are listening to podcasts
hey
right
but you know there's music that is like
kind of you know
I just thought it was it bugged me.
It's a little heavy-handed.
Yeah.
Like telling you what to feel.
Yeah, and I felt like, you know,
Spielberg has kind of gotten like a few things
like a little more current, but that needs to,
like it was like throwing a doily on like a modern chair.
Like just don't, it's old.
It doesn't go.
Anyway, sorry.
I hate that.
I like the directors who choose not to use, I know I'm mispronouncing his name, but like Michael Haneke. It's old. It doesn't go. Anyway, sorry. I hate that. I like the directors who choose not to use film.
I know I'm mispronouncing his name, but, like, Michael Haneke?
Uh-huh.
Like, he said once, and you can kind of see this in his films, like, he doesn't use film.
He terrorizes.
I mean, music.
Music, yeah.
He terrorizes you because of, like, the violent stuff where you're like, oh, I hate the fact
that I'm alive and watching this right now.
I hate the world.
I'm terrified, and I'm to to blame and I need a shower.
But like,
there's no music like mulling you into this hate.
You're just like,
I hate,
you know.
Well,
like,
especially after watching like an entire,
binge watching the entire season of Mr. Robot and feeling like there's something so minimal
about the music and like so current,
like it was just so modern and smart.
And,
and I feel like what you,
it's so hard to go from that to this like,
you know,
big screen thing that.
I think he's like, Spielberg is stuck trying to make classics instead of just making an interesting movie.
Right.
Like he's swinging for the fences.
He doesn't know what he's doing.
He's just a neophyte.
But yeah, I haven't seen Bridges of Spies yet.
But the thing that compels me to see it and seems like it's almost a sure thing for an Oscar nod
is Mark Rylance as the dude they're trying to get testified.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is he Russian, I think, in it?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's like, literally, there are details about this movie
that did not stay with me, and I was not high, I swear to God.
I don't remember.
But he's a terrific actor, and I look forward to us there are some good performances for sure for sure but yeah
yeah and Tom Hanks is always you know he's amazing he is amazing he has like
oh my god like only Tom Hanks can be Tom Hanks you might say like I'm the next
time Hanks but fuck you you're probably, right? Yeah, he's good.
He's never doing anything fucked up.
He's like an actor with lube.
He's got lube.
Everything's smooth.
Tom Hanks, he never does anything fucked up.
I guess you didn't see Cloud Atlas.
Okay, he gets a free pass.
He gets a pass.
We've all done something screwed up.
I had my tongue pierced for years.
But he makes the effort, though.
Cloud Atlas, he obviously did it
because of the challenge of playing
a bunch of different characters,
but then after a while, it's like,
Tom Hanks, you're best at being the Tom Hanks guy.
You know what he's best at?
Being Chet Hayes' dad.
Who?
He has a tough kid. Oh, in real life.? He has a tough kid.
Oh, in real life.
He's got a tough kid.
He's got a tough kid.
It's not Colin.
It's not Colin.
He's a rapper.
He's got a tough kid.
What about you, Megan?
Have you been to the movies?
I think the last movie I saw in the theater was The Martian.
Okay, that's still out there doing its work.
I fucking hated it. I fucking hated it.
I fucking hated it.
We did the math, we ran the numbers,
and I fucking hated that movie.
I didn't like it.
What do you think of space movies in general?
Did you like Interstellar?
Loved it.
Interesting.
Gravity? Did you like Gravity? Loved it. Interesting. Gravity?
Did you like Gravity?
Loved it.
What's going on here?
What's wrong with the Martians?
I'm super into space.
Fucking hated the Martian.
And people were like,
well,
because I thought it was like
up its own ass
with its like sense of humor
and it was like very smug
and blah, blah, blah.
That blah, blah, blah
is everything I can't explain.
It works.
And people were like,
that was the book. The book had that kind of humor. And I was like, well, then I can't explain. It works. And people were like, that was the book.
The book had that kind of humor.
And I was like, well then I guess I fucking hated the book.
I didn't like The Martian.
And again, with the music,
it was all this disco 70s music.
And like, I don't know, guys.
It spent a lot of time explaining math.
And then at the times where it was supposed to explain science,
it was like, we ran the numbers.
Also, it just... I love this expression megan i just was like it was long it was too long interstellar's not too long but the martian is too long when i'm entertained i
could last forever it It was too long.
Because that's what
gravity's got on all of them
is it's only 90 minutes long.
Right.
This is more.
Gravity was so good
that I actually dug a scab
into my thigh
during that movie.
That's a good movie.
I was like,
when I got out of the theater,
I had a scar.
Well done, Sandra Bullock.
That's a good music.
Yeah.
You need a battle scar
to prove that you enjoyed it.
Didn't love The Martian.
I'm known in certain circles, my job,
how much I hate The Martian.
I didn't love it,
but I think that's because I'm just done with space
as a topic for movie making.
I think space is super cool.
It was my first space movie since the space movie,
like Aliens, because I was so worried. Since Aliens? Yeah, I don't know where I've been. I've been busy. is super cool it was my first space movie since like the space movie like aliens because i'm
was still worried aliens yeah i'm like i don't know where i've been i've been busy i've been
doing stuff like i've been going around and walking all over i've just been super swamped
and so like i just like no space but i didn't see interstellar and i didn't see you like the
gravity i like i was like okay it's a movie i just saw it you know like i don't need those two he
wasn't great but i was just like okay for like two hours movie. I just saw it. I don't need those two. It wasn't great, but I was just like, okay, for two hours.
I wasn't angry.
I was annoyed by things like, I got to science the shit out of this.
Yeah, or that everything, how they dealt with exposition.
It's like, we'll just put in a vlog.
I guess that's how you deal, but I don't know.
I felt when I went to that movie, this is this new thing.
I was like, I feel like I'm going to be
part of the conversation the world's having.
I don't know
a lot of stuff that everyone knows about.
I'm like, Taylor Swift, I'm going to catch up.
That was like seven years ago.
Well, I can catch you up
on Taylor Swift.
I think Taylor Swift
is more compelling than the movie The Martian.
Oh.
Also, at the end, spoiler alert, but at the end, when he's like...
La, la, la, la, la.
He's like...
No, I saw it.
I don't remember, though.
So, no offense.
No offense.
No offense.
He makes it back.
No offense, but...
And he's got gray hair.
You bitch.
Hair's different.
It is like an ad for fucking whiteness.
He like, it's literally his first thing on earth
is like sipping fucking Starbucks,
being a professor, looking a professor,
being on like smug and like healthy weight again
and just being like,
teaching a college class about what a goddamn hero he is.
It's like, it's an ad for like,
I mean,
look, I love white men, I love white men.
I love white men.
I love them.
But it's like an ad for like white male privilege.
I don't like the Martian.
In summary, don't like the Martian.
I saw a movie just today on VOD called Tangerine.
Oh!
Shot entirely on iPhones and not looking it
and hella entertaining.
Really?
Yeah.
If you're interested in what kinds of conversations
the transsexual hookers on Santa Monica Boulevard
have with one another when they're hanging out
in front of Donut Time,
this movie will satiate that thirst.
It will make you go,
okay, I know all about that now.
Fly on the wall.
I finally know what they're talking about
except for the occasional snippets I get
when I pass them in a crosswalk.
Is it about a woman,
she gets out of prison and she goes
and she finds her boyfriend slash pimp?
She's transsexual, gets out of prison and she goes and she finds her boyfriend slash like pimp she's transsexual gets out of prison
is angry that
her male
pimp
boyfriend
has had sex
with one of
his other
hookers
who's a woman
she's very upset about it
and the bulk of the movie
is dedicated to her
trying to find
the woman
that he had
the affair with
to
for a reckoning.
Like, she is out.
She expected fidelity from a pimp.
Hey, don't look at me.
I'm not a transsexual prostitute.
I cannot get into her mind.
I want to watch this movie real bad.
But if you a hooker expecting sexual fidelity from your pimp,
you're in the wrong business.
There's definitely more blind people listening to this than hookers.
I can assure you of that.
I don't think your message is going to get out to any hookers today.
I think it's a beautiful story, though, to be like, you know,
a hooker and your pimp.
No, it's terrible
it's terrible
I'm stopping it
right there
I'm like
there's a scene
that will change
how you think
about
drive-thru car washes
forever
like you will
always think
of this movie
when you're sitting
in a car
in one of those ones
where you get to
stay in the car
as you go through
the car wash
I haven't had my car
washed in over a year
I want to get
what happens
is it erotic?
Is it a sexual?
It's like so much
cheaper than a hotel.
We live in a car culture. We're in Los Angeles.
Everybody's going and getting
but it's
you know we're in a drought so if you could
do oh
Yeah don't get a BJ in a car wash. We're in a drought. So if you could do... Oh! Yeah, don't get a BJ in a car wash.
We're in a drought.
Oh, it was a blowjob.
I knew it.
You knew it.
You guessed it right.
I know, I know.
I can smell a blowjob from across the room.
Well, now's the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin!
Let the games begin!
begin!
Each of you is going to play for somebody in the audience. So ladies,
pick the name tag that
speaks to you.
Oh, people
are excited about Kimba.
But just physically get up and go grab
a name tag from somebody.
You don't have to go too deep because they're all in the front.
Kate went right for Kimba.
Yeah, take the whole thing.
Here, give me the paper part.
You can hold on to Kimba.
I assume there's a shithead on the back of the room.
I'm right, as always.
Now, Sarah, the thing you've got to keep in mind is to not read out loud what it says here on the back.
That's for me to read if you
don't prevail today.
And Sarah chose
Candyman.
Is it someone named Candy?
Or man?
Andy?
Oh, I see. That's why the C is
vague. C, Andyman.
And from the chilling
imagination of Clive
Barker.
Sarah had her hand over the Barker.
And then
he made it out of
some sort of box or something.
But then he taped a crunch bar and a payday
bar to the bottom.
Do you like those? I do. I love chocolate.
Okay, well those are yours to keep.
Oh my god, I'm winning already.
There you go. You get both of those candies.
That's absurd.
And you're playing for Andy
so maybe you'll win on his behalf.
I sure hope so. Good luck.
Kate is playing for Kimba.
I'm playing for Kimba and I got
a stuffed lion that's very cute but looks like it's from Lion King which is different for Kimba. I'm playing for Kimba, and I got a stuffed lion that's very cute,
but it looks like it's from Lion King,
which is different than Kimba the White Lion,
which if you're really old,
it's a Japanese cartoon.
Thank you so much.
Do you know the Lion King song?
Like, hold him up and do the song.
Oh, yeah!
Look at him!
It's a Taylor Swift song.
Nobody knows the words.
Welcome to New York.
And who are you playing for, Megan?
I'm playing for Midnight Mattness.
Whoa.
Very nice art on this poster.
Yeah, it looks like something a child would make.
I think it's watercolor.
Yeah, it's got watercolor.
I'm drawn to a little effort.
And what's his name?
Matt?
Mattness.
Yeah, because there's a movie called Midnight Madness.
It was about a scavenger hunt.
Michael J. Fox was in it.
Oh my God, this is a pun.
I have to shred it.
No, just kidding.
It's great.
I know it's a pun.
Did he put a shithead on the back?
Yes.
Okay, don't read that out loud. It is. Never. I would never. But it's a bun. Did he put a shithead on the back? Yes. Okay, don't read that out loud.
It is.
I would never, but it's a...
All right, well, good job making name tags.
Good job selecting them.
The first game we're going to play is something called...
Sarah, are you having a agita or something?
I'm nervous.
This is big.
This is big.
You don't have to worry about it here.
First of all, we could put that down for now.
I can barely hold the microphone.
You're clinging onto that like, yeah.
I've been holding it up just like with so much like my muscles are atrophying.
I'm getting nervous, but I'm fine.
Eat your payday.
Eat your candy.
You'll be fine.
I need a little sugar in my blood.
Would it be better for you if you had the mic stand instead of me?
No, no. that would be weird.
Because then you wouldn't have to hold it so tight.
Please don't break our microphone.
With your vice-like grip.
We're going to play a game, Sarah, called Cable Billing.
Okie dokie.
A.K.A. Comcast Away.
Okay.
Because my cable company,
when they list who the stars of films are,
they're terrible at it.
They list, like, two names,
and it makes me laugh a lot of the time.
But for slow learners,
it says Adam Pally and Sarah Burns,
so they nailed it.
Yeah.
They got it right with that one.
Yeah, that's accurate.
But sometimes
it's amazing what they say.
So I'm going to name two actors
from a movie that my cable company
listed as the stars of the film
or at least the people we should care about
and a reason to watch.
And as soon as I say the two names
everybody just start guessing until somebody
gets the right answer.
Okay. You ready? Uh-huh. This is just these three on somebody gets the right answer. Okay.
You ready?
Uh-huh.
This is just these three on stage, by the way.
Just a little friendly reminder.
Which movie, according to my cable,
classic movie,
stars Richard Roxburgh and Jim Broadbent the movie about the year a
year oh okay I'm gonna need you to be a little bit more specific oh the room in
his room we can at Bernie's Jim Broadbent do you know who that is I don't he looks like
I don't know him
oh shit
he's a great actor
he's British
oh shit
he looks like a derby hat
if a derby hat
was a man
if a derby hat
was a person
it would be
Jim Broadbent
it's like
oh yes of course
so yeah
so can you think
of any films
that he was in
he's certainly
not the lead in this
but he had a big part.
I'll give you a couple more clues.
Yeah, please.
In a second, though, I want you to think about it some more.
Wait, who's the first guy?
I don't know this guy at all.
Richard Roxburgh?
And Jim Broadbent.
And it's a movie.
I think I know who Richard Roxburgh is.
I think I know which character he plays in this movie.
It's a classic.
Yeah, once you hear the title, you may agree.
All right, I'm going to give you another name of a person that's in this movie,
and we'll see if anybody jumps on that.
Ewan McGregor is in this movie.
Oh!
It's a classic?
Well.
Oh, God, he was so good in it.
People seem to love it.
Ghost Rider.
Wait, wait, wait.
This is in Moulin Rouge?
That's correct.
Moulin Rouge.
I love this game.
I love you, Doug.
That's insanity.
I was going to say Nicole Kidman next, of course,
because they are the true stars of that film.
I mean, just because Jim Broadbent comes in and goes,
can, can, can, can!
You don't give him top second billing.
And I think Richard Roxburgh
is the evil guy,
the bad guy,
the rich guy
that wants to just
own Nicole Kidman, right?
That's probably him.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, Moulin Rouge!
exclamation point
in the title.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
What a fling.
What's the Ewan McGregor movie
with the old guy and his daddy's dying? Oh, Beginners. Beginners. I didn't know that. What's the Ewan McGregor movie with the old guy
and his daddy's dying?
Oh, Beginners.
Beginners.
Beginners.
Christopher Plummer.
Christopher Plummer.
I love it.
I love that movie, and I love that red dress
she wears throughout the whole thing.
I Googled it.
I was like, where's the dress?
I Googled how to make one look like Melanie Laurent.
Wow.
How get face.
How get face? How get face?
What were the results of that search?
Even the way she wore that watch,
I was just like, yeah.
I just wanted to take her face
and pin it on my face.
Make a flesh dress out of her.
Yeah.
Wow.
Ladies.
Yeah.
God bless her.
Now let's play.
Congratulations to Kate for winning that one.
That means you get to go first in the next game.
Oh, shit.
Show business.
This game is called...
Hey, does anybody have a pen up close
that could just toss it to me?
Thank you very much.
Does anybody else have a pen?
Thank you, it's yours, right? Okay, I'll get it back to you.
Just throw it right back at him.
We're gonna play a game called,
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
And in this game, I'll start with Kate this is just
all I'll say it directly to the contestant who gets to guess if she
can't come up with the right answer then we'll we'll move to Sarah and it's
basically just the tagline from a motion picture I will will say it. And just guess what movie.
So we can't blurt it out.
No blurting.
Just one at a time this time.
This is a more civilized game.
We'll start with Kate.
Sorry, go ahead.
All right.
What movie has the tagline,
their party is just getting started.
This is for Kate. And she has to come up with a movie that the tagline is their party is just getting started. This is for Kate.
She has to come up with a movie that the tagline is
their party is just getting started.
The end of the world?
That is a great guess.
That would be a fun tagline for that movie.
It's incorrect.
So we go to Sarah.
I'm drawing a blank, but I'm going to give an educated guess
and say bachelor party.
Oh, that's also a great guess because there's a party
in the film
and it's
presumably at the top of the film
it's getting started
and we talked about Tom Hanks which could have been prophetic
sure but that's incorrect
Megan
what if it's like political
oh a political party.
Interesting.
The invention of the Republicans.
Is it Lincoln?
I literally have no idea.
Their party is just getting started.
But think about it, you know?
Can you say it the way the actor or actress said it?
Was she like, their party is getting just...
It's just printed on the poster.
It's not Earth Girls or Easy.
You can't just keep guessing, Megan.
You blew it with Lincoln.
Now what?
That was the worst vote for Lincoln ever.
He deserved all the votes except for that one.
Honestly, more people would have seen Lincoln.
Sorry, Spielberg, if that had been the tagline.
It's just not his day today.
We are ragging on...
That wasn't the start of Republicans, was it?
It was more like the end of them.
That's deep.
Daniel Day-Lewis in The Last Great Republican.
No, this line is the tagline for a motion picture
that I think all three of you are in called Slow Learners.
What?
Stop!
Busted!
Guys, welcome to our show.
It's been a crazy prank.
Fuck you, man.
You just got it in your mind.
That's bullshit.
That is fucking bullshit, Doug.
Fuck you, man.
This is stage.
That's bullshit.
You are psychos.
Gorgeous.
We planned this.
I'm not that self-centered.
I don't read the posters
of the movies I'm in.
How dare you?
Is it really on this poster at this very moment?
It might be, yes.
Son of a...
I've been swamped.
Can we see?
And I just...
All right, let's try another one.
I feel like a big, big, big, big, big dumb idiot.
Now that we got that one out of the way,
let's try another one.
That's cool, though.
We'll start with you again.
No, no, no.
It is fun.
It is pretty cool. See the movie, guys. It's cool, though. We'll start with you again. No, no, no. It is fun.
It is pretty cool. See the movie, guys.
It's unforgettable.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ,
that was a burn.
We'll start
with Kate again.
Oh, shit.
Kate, what movie
has the tagline
they sing,
they dance,
they suck?
They sing,
they dance,
they suck. Oh sing, they dance, they suck.
Oh my God.
Does that seem familiar to you?
Yes.
Is it Can't Stop Dancing?
Starring Kate Flannery.
Yes, it is.
I'm barely in it.
That is so weird.
That's hilarious.
Wow.
That's awesome that you knew that.
Yeah, you're totally getting the hang of this.
All right, let's go to Sarah and do the next one for her and only her.
And it is, are you man enough to say it?
I love you, man.
That's correct.
It's right there on the poster.
All right, Megan.
They've each got one.
You've got to get one.
I'm not in a lot of movies.
Good luck.
All right.
A comedy about meeting each other halfway.
A comedy about meeting each other halfway. A comedy about meeting each other halfway.
No.
I don't know who I'm going to
direct these to when I pick them,
so you may not be in it.
Bachelorette?
I looked up the tagline for Bachelorette,
and according to IMDB, it has none.
It has no tagline.
Lincoln.
So let's go to... You were fantastic in that, by the none. It has no tagline. Lincoln.
So let's go to... You were fantastic in that, by the way.
It is about meeting halfway.
You just disappeared into the role.
They do have to agree to disagree in Lincoln.
Comedy about meeting each other halfway.
And it's kind of a comedy.
All right, so yeah, you're done.
I don't know why you're saying, uh.
Kate.
Is it Delancey Street?
No, but that's a cute guess.
Yeah, sorry.
You had to go across the street to meet that pickle merchant.
Right?
I'm just saying.
What about that movie?
Oh.
A movie that Megan was in?
It's about meeting each other halfway.
I have her IMDb page, like, memorized.
Stop talking.
You're giving too much information.
I don't know the answer to this,
so I'm going to distract everyone
by talking in a weird, circuitous way
and then tossing it over to Kate.
I don't know.
Just take a guess.
What movie you think would be a comedy
about meeting each other halfway?
Friends with Benefits?
That's a great guess.
Turns out it's a movie you were in
called Going the Distance.
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Oh! Turns out it's a movie you were in called Going the Distance. Oh, Jesus Christ!
Oh!
Again, I'm just messing with the audience.
I know all this.
Oh, God.
All right, back to you, Megan.
I'll take it.
Circle, circle, square, square.
Now you have it everywhere.
square. Now you have it everywhere.
The comedian in me wants to be like, herpes the movie?
But I know there's no
movie. Circle
circle square square. You're pretty sure there's no movie
called that. Now you have
it everywhere.
Damn.
Herpes the
movie. Catch it this weekend.
Wouldn't that be a great movie?
One in four people you know
have Herpes the movie. No, just kidding.
Wow.
One out of four people have seen it.
Plan to spread it.
It's gone. It just keeps coming back.
Any guesses at all?
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh, I don't know.
All right, Kate?
Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
Terrific guess, but no.
Sarah, do you have anything?
I'm going to say It Follows.
Oh, that's a terrific guess.
Turns out it's a movie that Kate is in called Cooties.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Cooties.
Cooties is basically Herpes the movie.
Yeah.
Cooties.
No, but it's about a kid who eats an infected chicken McNugget and turns into a savage and
then infects all the other kids and then the teachers have to kill him.
That's a metaphor.
That is a metaphor.
I guess.
Yeah, made by Elijah Wood.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
I played his mother.
Obviously, I was a slut
in high school
because I'm not that old.
That'd be great
if your credit
in the end titles
was high school slut.
But congratulations, Kate.
I think you prevailed
in that game.
I think you got more right than anybody else.
Maybe not.
I feel like I win, and I feel like I lose.
I think you and Sarah tied, I think.
So we'll start with Megan for this next game.
Cool, I love it.
Yeah, switch it around a little bit.
This is something we call Last Man Stanton.
And I like to play this game as well,
so I will also participate.
And whoever lasts the longest that's not me
will be the winner.
Basically, what we're going to do
is get the name of an actor or actress,
and we have to take turns naming movies they were in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
Yeah, it's a tough one.
You mean all the way out we had to leave?
Yes.
I'd like you to leave the building.
I'd rather not ever look at you again.
You're deported.
If you fail in this game.
Especially if you fail quickly.
We've had guests on the show that can't come up with one movie of a well-known actor.
And that gets a little sad.
People are so self-centered.
I think it's a great thing to fail quickly.
Move it along.
Get it over with. I do like that part of it.
Stop wasting our time.
We're still rooting for you.
Yeah.
Very mean.
Let's play this game.
So who's going to give a...
I was trying to add on.
No, no, no.
Sarah and I know each other from years of UCB.
We're yes-anders, if you must.
Yeah, Megan, you actually wrote one of the funniest sketches I was ever in
with the mother and her grandson.
And you wrote this great bit for me.
I don't know if it was that good.
It was great.
I loved it.
And then our short video.
We made a short.
I think it was called Butt Babies.
It was called Butt Babies.
Never seen the light of day, but one day.
Yeah.
Why is it called Butt Babies?
Because I got pregnant in my butt.
Butt Babies is a movie.
How does slow learners get the green light
And butt babies is just sitting on a shelf somewhere
Doug the world is crazy
It is
Some genius is just passed on by
And then other stuff is just scooped up
I can't explain it
Do you give birth to the
Can we say more about it
What would the tagline be
From the butt
Don't kiss the newborn.
Don't kiss the newborn.
God, why didn't we send that straight to Sunday?
Honestly, now with the tagline, it will sell.
Taglines that are a warning are always the best ones.
Whatever you do.
Don't kiss a newborn.
All right, so where is...
I always get tweets from people saying they have the perfect name for Last Man Standing that hasn't been used before.
So where is, this is Alex Teig?
Is it pronounced Teig or Teig?
Teig.
Teig.
You don't get into the G.
You just ignore it.
No time for it.
Teig.
Like remember that actor Kevin Teig who was on Emergency and he was the owner of the bar in Roadhouse?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I just watched that movie.
Roadhouse?
It's literally the last movie I watched.
Literally.
I watched it like three days ago.
Is that a good movie?
It's got everything, that movie.
For everybody.
Yes, it's got pleats.
It's got feathered bangs.
Patrick Swayze with the shirt off.
Oh, yeah.
And fights.
Kelly Lynch naked a lot.
And she plays a doctor.
Yeah.
But you don't know she's hot until she takes off those glasses.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's pretty nerdy with those glasses on.
And then at one point she's wearing a dress
that looks like a picnic table.
And then lunch is served.
And then he rips out a guy's throat
and they're like, I still like you.
She had a little trouble with that.
She had to think about it for a couple of minutes.
She was a little upset.
Well, I think it was that she was really channeling
being a doctor and she just had to make sure
the guy was fully dead
and then she could go back to the romance.
That must be it.
Yeah, time of death.
That's what was going on there.
And then a big bear falls on a guy.
Perfect way to go.
Yeah, he's like, a bear fell on me.
Oh, but he's conscious for a few moments after the bear fell.
He didn't die right away.
No, no, it just stalks him out,
and then when he wakes up, he's trapped under it.
What's the bear doing that he's so calm?
Well, it's a stuffed bear
in a rich guy's house.
Oh.
Oh, of course.
That old chestnut.
That old device.
I just saw this very silly video of a dog sniffing a man's armpit
and then he...
Ben Gazzara
plays the bad guy
in that movie.
You know,
what's great about Roadhouse
is bad guys
were just bad
and good guys
were just all good.
There was just no subtlety.
No gray area.
Nothing.
I like the scene
where a fight breaks out
because a guy says to a woman,
can I feel your tits for $50?
And she says, okay.
She pulls her dress down, he grabs her tits,
and then he laughs.
And then a fight ensues
because he had no intention of paying the $50.
I mean, honestly, though,
you gotta fight that.
Does she fight him?
Who fights him?
Oh, only the mans. Oh, yeah. Well, she's got those giant breasts. She can't fight that. Does she fight him? Who fights him? Oh, only the mans.
Oh, yeah.
Well, she's got those giant breasts.
She can't fight him.
The women are useless in that movie.
All right, be nice.
So what we need
from this is Kevin Tai,
Alex Tai,
Alex Tai,
what's your name for,
and it better not be Kevin Tai, what's your name for, and it better not be Kevin, Ty.
What's your name?
Christopher Lloyd.
Christopher Lloyd.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, gosh.
Yeah.
Christopher Lloyd movies.
All right.
So who did I say won that last game?
I think you said Megan.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Because Megan didn't win the other one.
Oh, so we're going to let her go first.
That's right.
Thank you.
We'll start with you, Megan.
Back to the future.
Okay.
You got that hard one out of the way.
What do you think, Kate?
Adam's family values.
Oh, interesting.
Featuring pubert, of course.
Sarah? Back to the Future 2
I'm gonna need the full title
Back to the Future 2
no
like
electric
what word do you think
would come before 2
and after future?
Back to the future, colon, to.
But if you had to put a word in there,
let's say... Part two.
Yes, part two.
This is scary stuff, Doug. Yeah. let's say part two yes part two this is this is
scary stuff Doug
yeah
okay
I'm gonna go with
Clue
oh
yeah
where he played
um
Professor Paul
I was gonna do a joke answer
and say one of the lady names
but I couldn't think of any
of them fast enough
what are the ladies in there?
Miss Scarlet.
Mrs. White.
Mrs. Peacock.
Christopher Lloyd as
Mrs. Peacock.
Alright, back to you.
It's back to Megan now.
Inspector Gadget.
Oh, wow.
I wasn't even sure that was a real movie.
It's a real movie.
Was he in that?
Everybody just bought it.
I'm literally bluffing.
I don't think he was in it.
I mean, I know Andy Dick was in it.
Inspector Gadget.
And Matthew Broderick.
He's got to have been in it.
I don't think so.
Can somebody check?
I don't think he's got to be in it.
Let's not check because right now it's a valid answer.
If we find out, no.
Everybody is buying it, but this is a true bluff.
I don't think anybody's buying or selling it.
I just think they're being very polite and not yelling out about how wrong you are.
But I'm pretty sure he's not in it.
And no one is disagreeing with me.
Someone would say, you're wrong, Doug. What? He's not in it. And no one is disagreeing with me. Someone would say, you're wrong, Doug.
What? He's not in it?
Is that what you're saying?
He's not in it?
Oh, sorry. I didn't think so.
It was a good choice, though.
Yeah, it was a really good choice.
Like it fooled almost everybody.
Except for the person with access to the internet.
So you're out, Megan.
But we'll still play one more game after this.
So we'll go to Kate.
Adam's family.
The first one.
I'm sorry.
I don't know.
I can't remember.
I'm sorry.
It's a lame.
You want to call it the Adam's family?
The Adam's family.
The Adam's family.
How do you spell Adam's?
A-D-A-M-S.
Oh, no.
It's two D's?
Two Ds.
Shit.
Mother fucking...
The rules are getting much more stringent
since the first...
We were like,
now it's like,
is the accent a grave or a goo?
Where is the umlaut?
All right, Sarah, what do you got?
You know, Doug, I just want to take this moment
to thank you for this fantastic...
You're welcome. Thanks for being here.
We're all talking about our feelings and the movies.
He was in Taxi.
Christopher Lloyd was in Taxi, played Reverend Jim
on that program.
He'd come in and he'd be like,
You know what? I guessed that.
It fell from the heavens into my head and out of my mouth.
It's a television show.
But I think it's worth a couple points.
Yeah, it's worth double points.
I'm not the only one who can change the rules of this game.
So you're saying you're done?
Yeah, I feel good. Solid.
You feel like you've done good work here.
Confidence is waning.
Yeah.
Gripping the mic.
So who's left? Me and Megan?
Oh, I am so out.
Well, just me and Kate.
Okay.
All right.
I'm going to go with, just get this one out of the way,
Back to the Future Part 3.
Yeah.
Seems like it was right there for you, Sarah.
You could have just grabbed at that.
The taxi.
Could have been. Taxi is television. The taxi could have been.
Taxi is television.
I love it.
TV.
It's like a very small movie.
That's not.
It's a very small, long movie.
You can watch in the privacy of your home.
What do you got, Kate?
Was there a third Addams Family movie?
I'm so lame.
I'm sorry.
There was not.
There was not?
God damn it.
Should be.
I'm sorry. I'm so lame. I'm sorry. There was not. There was not? There should be. I'm sorry.
I don't know.
What?
That's all I got. Sorry.
I'm stumped. I'm stumped.
It happens. This is a hard game. I'm not gonna
lie to you. Was he in Ocean's
Eleven? No, I'm just kidding.
It's never a bad guess
when you're talking about a white male
that they may have been in Ocean's Eleven.
Do you do a lot of drama?
Or is it mostly comedy?
So Kate named more than anybody else,
or are Kate and Sarah tied at this point?
Could we have a hint?
Oh, okay.
This will be fun.
It won't just be a hint. I'm going to say the name of a Christopher? Oh, okay. This will be fun. It won't just be a hint.
I'm going to say the name of a Christopher
Lloyd movie, and whichever
one of you repeats it the fastest,
whoever
says it out loud the fastest
is going to be the winner. Are you ready?
Yeah.
The Dream team.
Dream team!
The voice that came out of my mouth.
Don't try again!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
I think I pooped in my pants.
I had another baby.
It's like you're...
And I think you've redeemed yourself
as far as your mic work.
That was fantastic.
I like how both of them were inching the mic closer.
They were like,
Ready.
I am ready.
That was too close to call.
Let's do another one.
Okay, ready?
You gotta say the whole title.
Okay, got it.
Who?
Hello?
Doctor Who. Doctor Who. You're out, Megan. Who? Hello? Who?
Doctor Who.
Doctor Who.
No, it's a TV show. You're out, Megan.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
This is the dumbest game.
She is a tough competitor.
You are formidable.
This is hard.
It's like Serena Williams.
I was on Celebrity Family Feud once.
Paid off.
Oh, yeah.
You're really good.
I feel like I could say stuff fast.
I'm like, I'm sweating.
I don't know, I don't have any knowledge,
but I could say stuff fast for sure.
All right, I'll bring you into one.
Great.
Megan, this is...
Get ready.
I took my gum out.
You need to be conditioned.
I literally took my gum out.
I don't even know of any more,
but I'll just say a movie.
Okay.
He's probably in it.
Christopher Lloyd might be in it.
All right, you ready?
Uh-huh.
Yeah, clear your throat.
I'm ready.
Yeah, I'll be ready.
Dennis the Menace.
Dennis the Menace!
Ah!
Was he in Dennis the Menace?
Yeah, okay, good.
I thought he might be.
What other ones did we miss?
-"Angels in the Outfield." -"Angels in the Outfield."
-"Cuckoo's Nest." -"Cuckoo's Nest."
Oh, of course, one of the Cuckoo's Nests
with Danny DeVito.
I love that movie and the book.
What? The Pagemaster?
-"My Favorite Martian." -"My Favorite Martian."
Yeah. Least favorite movie.
What a career.
Creeper. What else?
Camp Nowhere.
Camp Nowhere.
I haven't seen it, but it sounds good.
This guy works.
He works.
Oh, he's a booker.
He books.
He books.
You see him in the casting office?
Get the fuck out of there.
You guys need to get the fuck out.
I go out for the same roles as Christopher Lloyd every single day, and I'm like, why am I here?
I know, Mike. This guy's going to get it. Oh, but you know what? He's better at the piece. It was his part. the same roles as Christopher Lloyd every single day and I'm like why am I here? I don't like
this guy's gonna get it
oh but you know what
he's better at the piece
it was his part
when I see him
in the waiting room
I just make a Doc Brown
in my pants
and I get the hell
out of there
don't kiss the newborn
don't kiss the Doc Brown
don't kiss the newborn
don't give that cute
little baby a kiss
alright well we still have to
settle, we gotta decide who's
the winner today. I think you all win.
For saying things fast.
I think it's fair that I did not win
today. And fun. No, you're
still in it, Megan. You still have a shot
at this. You're playing very well, though.
Yeah, you're doing a great job. Oh, you know I'm fun.
I have no expertise, but I'm fun.
We're gonna to play.
So we'll call Kate the winner of that last one,
because she did get a few of those faster than anybody else.
You've been cleaning up.
That's ridiculous.
Thank you.
You've been cleaning up.
Thank you.
But you made my game better.
Oh, no.
But you're still, Sarah, you're still going to have a great payday.
And a crunch bar.
And Megan got a nice meal at dining with Doug and Karen earlier this evening. and a crunch bar. We're flying high tonight.
Megan got a nice meal
at dining with Doug and Karen
earlier this evening.
That's true.
I got a nice meal.
This afternoon,
we ate a lot of food,
and that episode will be out
on iTunes tomorrow-ish.
Nice.
Wow, double whammy today.
I'm filled with dumplings
and ground pork.
Is that on your
match.com page?
What a sexy thing to say.
Was that the tagline
for shallow hell?
At any given time
I'm just full of ground pork.
Big mama's house.
Well we don't know
as much about the human body
as we like to think so
it is plausible
that you are filled with ground pork.
Have you seen inside yourself?
I mean, I know for sure right now it's a ground pork party.
The old GPP, yeah, you know me.
All right, we're going to determine a winner with a game called Reverse Malton.
Kate and Megan have played this game before, the regular version, the Leonard Malton game.
This is kind of a twisted take on that.
It's basically a game where you have to bid based on how many actors from a film you think you can name after Kate decides
which film we're gonna do.
Kate gets to go first.
I load these up randomly before doing the show,
so these weren't chosen specifically
because of what's happened so far,
but it's pretty funny that they're in here.
Kate, which one of these films do you think you know more of the
cast of? The Adams
Family?
Adams Family Values?
Or
The Family?
And this is just Kate gets
to decide first,
and then we'll, once we start the bidding,
we'll go to Megan.
I'm going to say The Addams Family.
The original Addams Family.
All right, now Leonard Maltin lists a whopping 11 names
from the cast of this film.
He's got more time on his hands than I do.
How many of those names?
Oh, wow, and it says it was followed by two sequels.
What was the second
sequel called?
You crashed.
Atom Reunion.
Were you there?
So you were close
earlier with that.
Okay.
Yeah.
I did not.
Was that straight to VOD
or something?
Or did it play in theaters?
Was Pubert in it?
What were they?
They were always together.
Why would they need
a reunion?
Yeah, and was Raul Julia
in it or he died already?
He was dead.
He was dead.
Yeah.
Spoken like a true fester.
Put a light bulb in your mouth.
Alright, so 11 names from the original Adams family.
How many of those, Kate, do you think you can name?
You can bid low if you're not too confident.
I'm going to say four.
She says four names, Megan.
Sorry.
How many?
I say three.
You can't.
That's not how it works.
So if you don't think you can name more than four,
you have to challenge Kate to do it.
I challenge you.
All right.
So Kate.
Okay.
Angelica Houston.
Name four people.
Angelica Houston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci.
Oh, I forgot Christopher Lloyd was in it.
Yeah, you did it.
Yeah, I forgot he was in it too.
You both already forgot about Christopher Lloyd?
I was like, when did we talk about Adam's Family Values? Immediately forgot he was in it too. You both already forgot about Christopher Lloyd? I was like, when did we talk about Adam's Family Values?
Immediately forgot he was in it.
And only knew Christina Ricci and Delica Houston and Raul Julia because you mentioned him.
Can we mention more people?
You can, but Kate won the point.
But as Elizabeth Wilson was in it, Dan Hedaya.
David Krumholz.
Not listed of the 11
oh well that's
a mistake
are you sure he wasn't
in Adam's Family Values
he was the
the cute kid
like the human kid
who came in
and was like
into Christina Ricci
that was the second one
I think
when they were at camp
Paul Benedict
you know
from the
neighbor from the
Jeffersons
Carol Stryken
plays Lurch.
And Jimmy Workman
was, of course, Pugsley.
Of course. Of course he was.
What else would he be?
Yeah. So that means
that Kate has a point, and we're
going to start the next round with Sarah.
Sarah.
Sarah gets to
pick between three films.
Which one of these do you think you know
more of the cast?
Would it be...
Sometimes I don't even know
when I look at it, they're not in
order on my phone,
so I don't even know what I was going for
with these choices.
Yeah, I don't feel confident either. I don't even know what these was going for with these choices. Yeah, I don't feel confident either.
I don't even know what these movies have in common with each other.
I'll figure this out.
Maybe I won't.
Oh, these are three movies that were in this game previously and did not get picked.
Okay.
Simple enough.
Up in the air Uh huh
Dinner for schmucks
Uh huh
Or
The social network
Which one of those do you think you know the most people from
The social network Okay from 2010 Did I make a terrible mistake Network. Which one of those do you think you know the most people from? The Social Network.
Okay. From 2010.
Did I make a terrible mistake?
No, I don't think so. Leonard lists
7, 10,
15 names.
So out of the 15 names listed by
Mr. Leonard Moulton, how many of those do you think you could
name?
Seven.
Seven?
Yeah.
Megan? I challenge yeah it'll work for you eventually I'm sorry I said it in that tone so Sarah's gonna name seven names we won't say yes or no to any of them until she
said seven people good luck luck. Rashida Jones.
She pointed to the I love you man poster.
She's missing from this poster.
That's not in the movie.
Let's talk about that later.
Jesse Eisenberg. Andrew Garfield.
Justin Timberlake.
Rooney Mara.
This other guy.
Oh, that guy.
The Winklevoss character.
That guy was totally in there.
He was so good at it.
I just forget his name every time.
I think Academy Award nominated, I think.
Yeah, you had five.
I felt good about it. I was like, give me a minute and I'll think about it. You're pretty solid on five. No, I think. Yeah, you had five. I felt good about that.
I was like, give me a minute and I'll think about it.
You're pretty solid on five.
No, I'm just kidding.
Name two more.
How much time do I have?
Okay, Justin's done.
You have until now.
Oh, am I missing someone?
No, no.
I mean, yeah, you're definitely missing some people.
Am I ruining the night?
No.
I just wasn't letting...
The night is young. Kate was trying to help
you and I got competitive
and I was like, don't help her.
I won't help her. Do not help her.
Shoot, the guy who plays the Winklevoss
Army Hammer.
Oh, one more. Good, good, good.
You need one more.
Oh, Thor. Oh, I don. Good, good, good. You need one more. Good, good, good.
Oh, this is so hard.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't really pay much attention to this movie.
When I watch this movie,
I'll only memorize six of the cast members' names.
If we were talking about Clue, you'd have everybody.
The person who takes him to court.ue, you'd have everybody. The person
who takes him to court.
Oh, yeah, that guy. Or gal.
Well, this
man is on Rashida Jones' legal team.
Oh.
So close.
I think I might have to forfeit.
Do you remember any of the names of the
kids from the first Jurassic Park?
Laura Jern.
I only said that because I knew
that wouldn't be a helpful clue.
Yeah.
I don't.
My memory is like Swiss cheese.
We should just talk about the bravery of the challenge.
It was very brave of me to challenge.
You did a great job.
Thank you.
You did a great job challenging that
because you seemed so confident.
I'm one of those people.
I'm like, I don't want to brag.
I just knew she didn't have the seven.
She was very brave, very brave.
Well, you got six out of seven.
And one that you might have missed that's, I don't know how obvious it is,
but Dakota Johnson is in it briefly as the girl that has sex with Justin Timberlake.
Oh, my God.
I was like, who is that person?
Oh my God, she has sex in all her movies.
That's her thing.
I would love her career.
Joseph Mazzello, who I was referring to
as he was young in the Jurassic Park films,
but then he's older, college age in this movie.
Denise Grayson, John Goetz, David Selby.
I mean, you don't feel bad.
You shouldn't have got any of these names.
Max Minghella, Josh Pence, and Brenda Strong.
Brenda Strong.
Brenda Strong is her.
The ones you didn't say.
She's on Desperate Housewives.
Yeah, so Megan gets a point.
It doesn't feel like a nice victory.
It's like shorting the stock market.
You win when other people lose, but that's my tactic.
But if you're a friend, and I'm happy to give you the point off my back.
I didn't mean to put my faith in your incompetence, but it worked out.
Yeah, listen.
You challenged me, and I'm that much better.
It's the rules of the game.
It's not personal.
Don't hate the player.
Okay, we have enough.
Enough.
All right, so Kate gets to pick next,
and then we'll go to Megan,
and Kate gets to pick between
the Rocky Horror Picture Show,
The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle,
and That's Where I Screwed Up.
The third movie should,
on that three movies,
should have been Social Network
because of the Winklevoss twins.
Ah.
But instead,
you'll have to choose between those two or Scott Pilgrim versus the world.
Which one of those?
Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Okay, I'm going to pick Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Okay, that's a fun one.
From 75.
And Leonard lists nine names.
How many of those do you think you can come up with, Kate?
Four. Sorry.
Don't be sorry. That's a pretty
bold bid. Megan gets
to challenge or bid more.
Challenge.
What a surprise.
All right. For the win,
Kate, if you can name four people from Rocky Horror Picture Show, you're a winner today.
Okay.
Susan Sarandon, Barry Boswick, Tim Curry, and Meatloaf.
Yes.
Oh, Meatloaf.
Meatloaf.
Barry Boswick.
Meatloaf.
Charles Gray.
It's just a jump to the left.
Richard O'Brien's in a time warp.
Jonathan Adams was the guy in the wheelchair.
Little Nell, of course, was the tap dancing lady in love with meatloaf.
And Patricia Quinn was not only magenta,
but also the lips that you see singing the opening title song.
Congratulations, Megan Neuringer, our winner. magenta but also the lips that you see singing the opening title song um
congratulations megan nurringer our winner
what did you challenge oh she challenged but she got it oh yeah so kate's our winner
it's such a nice crowd. Everyone's like, okay.
Let's give it to Megan.
I honestly, I felt thrilled.
I was like, it works out for me anyway.
No, I'm so sorry, Kate.
Kate is our winner, and she's playing for Kimba,
who gets all this stuff. Kimba!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Come on, right?
Poster suit? What? A takeaway. poster suit what a takeaway
I say you know
come up and collect it all
after the show's over
and if there's anything
you don't want
how are you getting home
did you take a bus
do you have a car
do you have a car
okay so that's not too bad
but if you need help
carrying it to your car
if you need help
carrying it to a
could be a target with all this loot
there's a lot of stuff yeah a lot of stuff
target
people are crazy in this town
they want that planet Hollywood the game
oh my god Jesus
schmovie the game
yeah you'll get robbed at gunpoint
just to get a schmovie
but I didn't improve upon it
I'm clocking schmovie it is it's own joke schmovie it's not movie it's schmo get a schmovie. I didn't improve upon it. No, I'm clocking schmovie. It is its own joke.
Schmovie. It's not movie. It's schmovie.
Ah, schmovie.
Okay.
Movie schmovies.
Who cares? Right to the ground.
Megan. Thank you.
You didn't win today, but you did get one point.
And so
for that, I'm going to let you have 30
seconds to say anything you want.
Oh my god.
You know, I just want to say
that my favorite food is
Chinese food. I haven't been able to find a good restaurant
here at LA proper. If anybody
knows of a delicious Chinese food restaurant
that's like New York City Chinese food, please tweet
at me, at Megan Erringer. Please give me your Chinese
food recommendations. Time's up.
Kate,
I'll give you ten minutes.
I haven't seen it yet,
but I want to check out Cooties. That's exciting that you're in the Cooties movie. Yeah, it's video on demand.
That's out, too. And Rainn Wilson's in it.
Yeah, it's
Jorge Garcia,
Jack McBrayer,
Alison Pill.
Great cast, yeah.
Circle, circle,
square, square.
And I play Elijah Woods
on mine.
Now you have it everywhere.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, and of course
you're also available
on VOD and Slow Learners.
I am.
So don't leave your house.
You're so available.
I'm super available.
And there's an episode,
two episodes of Steven Universe
that I'm in.
I play Kate McCoochie's mom,
Barb, on Steven Universe.
So if we have Steven Universe fans,
Virgin Networkies.
Yeah, baby.
I honestly,
I didn't know the 30 seconds
were for promo.
I thought it was about anything.
I didn't know it was for projects and stuff.
You snooze, you lose, honey.
That's why I said it that way,
because you don't have a thing you're trying to push right now.
Not right now.
Yeah, yeah.
But you've got something you're going to tell us about someday,
but it's a secret right now.
I can't yet.
Yeah.
Ooh, this sounds exciting.
Yeah.
She got some exciting news that she can't share quite yet,
which is probably smart, because it falls apart is, you know, it's probably smart.
Are you having a poo baby?
I'm having a butt baby.
Are you?
I am.
Don't kiss that thing.
I like to give it three months, but let's just say I'm with butt baby.
I'm proud of you, girl.
Will you guys do butt baby for us?
You get it.
Let's get it.
I hope I wait until I get home before I give birth.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't want to give birth here.
She's crowning.
I don't want to give birth in public.
I've got to take a shower right away.
I've got to take my own home.
And Sarah Byrds is, of course, also is the star of Slow Learners.
Very funny movie.
Very proud of you,
even though we just met.
Anything else you want to plug?
Oh, I was going to talk about
these, my parents,
but I will plug.
Well, my mom and dad are moving
and they want me to get rid of
like all of my things
in my bedroom.
And they're like,
what do you want to do
with these stuffed animals?
I'm like,
I'm not ready for this.
Like, it's like very,
very emotionally taxing. What do you mean do with them? Like, are they going to put them to sleep? My dad's like, we'll throw them out. We'm like, I'm not ready for this. Yeah. It's like very, very emotionally taxing.
What do you mean do with them?
Like are they going to
put them to sleep?
My dad's like,
we'll throw them out.
We'll like give them,
we'll like donate them
or like whatever.
And I'm like,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
There's a lot of,
I was an only child.
I like,
I love animals over,
like humans a lot of times.
So I have a ton of them
and I don't really know
what to do.
So I was actually going to
like open it up
and say,
what shall I do?
Oh, you want to ask the crowd? Yeah. Because I do, so I was actually gonna open it up and say, what should I do? Oh, you wanna ask the crowd?
Yeah, because I do.
You donate them, or do you keep them?
It's a shame we're out of time.
I got the answer.
Oh, you got the answer you needed from Kimba?
I can keep some of them, though, right?
Of course you should keep some of them.
Burn them all.
Burn them in front of a bunch of needy children.
Yeah, burn them, burn them, light them on fire.
Fuck you kids, like, hey, assholes.
No, I'm not going to do that.
I'm doing stand-up in San Diego at the American Comedy Company on November 25th.
Don't forget to bring your name tags to that.
And thank you once again to all of my guests, Megan Neuringer, Kate Flannery, and Sarah Burns.
All so funny in Slow Learners on VOD.
Awesome.
Sarah is awesome.
Fucking awesome.
And pass me your name tag there, Megan,
so I can do these shitheads all proper-like.
Here we go.
It's a lovely name tag. Let's see what they
wrote on the back here.
Whoa.
Let me see what this other one is because I've got to pick
an order.
What?
Oh yeah, this is
Kimba. So I'm not going to say this
incredibly profound shithead
about people who do
terrible things to innocent others are a fucking shithead. people who do terrible things to innocent others
are a fucking shithead.
Is that what you wrote?
You're angry.
Righteously so.
Righteously so, though.
Oh, it's a complicated one.
So I'll start with this other one.
As always, a dirty boat toilet is a shithead.
Nothing worse than a dirty boat toilet.
It's much worse than terrible people
who do things to innocent people.
And, finally,
none of the dispensaries around
have dab bars.
So them, no, nah.
Nancy Grace, no, no.
Chris Christie.
Did you ever decide on one?
Don't leave me
hanging bro
And then there's
stuff scribbled
around here
What do you want me
to say?
Whose is this?
There are old
shitheads
Oh there's a bunch
of old ones on there?
Well what's your
current shithead?
The one in red
The one in red?
Oh
This is provocative.
Seth Ted 2 McFamily guy?
You don't like the sequel.
What kind of beef do you have with him?
You wrote that when Ted 2 came out
and that's the new shithead?
Well, it sounds like a great life if you haven't
found a shithead. Can I just remind that his first
shithead was a complaint about
dabbing?
Let me just help
you out with this one and just say
shitheads are shitheads!
Now it's time for us to watch another
talky. Rise up, all this viewing power's makes it cocky. There's no room Now it's time for Phil to watch his brother talk to you.
He's a bold as you and Kyle was big.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.