Doug Loves Movies - Sarah Silverman, Chris Hardwick, Marc Maron, and 9 More Compete
Episode Date: December 20, 2011Doug gathers some of his favorite guests for the 2nd annual Twelve Guests of Christmas, a single-elimination Leonard Maltin Game battle royale!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy ...and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming babies sticky seats with 50 as in popcorn kernels
in his teeth there's still not one that he won't see. Cause Doug loves movies.
So just call on me, brother.
When you need a hand.
We all need some Doug to love movies.
I just might have a movie that you'll
understand. We all need
some Doug to love
movies.
Movies.
When you need a movie.
Oh baby, just movies.
When you need movies.
You watch them with your eyes. Movies.
Get your way off. Movies.
We all need some Doug to love.
Movies.
Movies.
We put our mics on. Hey, everybody. Hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is Doug Loves Movies
12 guests of Christmas extravaganza
AKA under rehearsed Akanja, a.k.a. under-rehearsed.
Coming to you from the jolly Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles
on Tuesday, December 20th, 2 Oceans 11,
that was Chris Hardwick, Ricky Lindholm, and Kate McHughie.
Yeah.
Performing the Doug Loves Movies theme song.
Mike Furman of Hard and Firm couldn't be here tonight,
so shout out to him.
It has something to do with having a baby or something.
I tried to get the same 12 guests as last year,
but since some couldn't make it,
I replaced them with equally awesome peeps.
Yeah, that's right. I replaced them with
Easter candy.
Before we bring out
the amazing 12 guests of Christmas,
there were approximately
two dozen entries in the Santa Size Me
contest
that I did online on YouTube.
Thanks to all who participated.
There are no losers, only
submissions that weren't good enough.
I was looking
for something that had
fun with the whole
trailer
pacing
of a trailer and the way trailers work
and just having fun with the notion of trailers.
And there really were some good ones and some really weird ones.
There was one where there was just a young man falling into a pool
wearing a Santa hat.
He fell into it in slow motion and then it just said,
Santa-cised me. So I don't know what that was about. and he fell into it in slow motion and then it just said Santa size me so I
don't know what that was about I don't know what country that was from there
was a couple of animated ones and lots of ones that mentioned state of Denver
and other other catchphrases from the show but my choice for the winner is the one that managed to figure out how to
turn santa size me into a parody of the girl with the dragon tattoo yeah it was a it was a parody of
the girl with the dragon tattoo trailer that amazing trailer that was very cut together very
quickly uh they did a version of the Santa Size Me trailer that was quite similar,
and it was submitted by Thomas L816.
So that person needs to contact me.
Because they're the winner, yay!
Yeah, let's hear it for Thomas L816.
So contact me on Twitter or specialthing.com
or douglasmovies.com,
and we'll work out so that that person gets a future appearance on the show.
Now it's time for Watch That, Watch This.
Now it's time for Not That, Watch This.
The number one movie in the country is Sherlock Holmes, A Game of Books.
A Book of shadowy games?
And all I can say about that movie,
I saw it, and it is exactly as good
as the first Sherlock Holmes.
So just say to yourself,
did I like the first Sherlock Holmes?
Oh, I did.
Then I should go, according to Doug.
Did I not like the first Sherlock Holmes?
I did not.
Then Doug says I should not
go.
Because it's exactly as good.
The number two movie is
Alvin and the Chipmunks, Chip Witch.
Which I
look forward to ignoring on a plane
in three months.
So watch Sherlock Holmes, not Alvin and the Chugamunks.
This has been Watch This, Not That.
Thank you.
Respect.
This is not the final Douglas Movies taping in L.A. this year.
If you're kicking around California between Christmas and New Year's
with some time on your hands
and you want a road trip out to Burbank, please come. you're kicking around California between Christmas and New Year's with some time on your hands and
you want a road trip out to
Burbank, please come
to the Doug Loves Movies taping
at Flappers in Burbank. There will be alcohol
served and they have some
nice food items there as well.
It's Thursday, December 29th
at 10pm. Next year
you could see road editions
of Doug Loves Mov movies at Palace Station in Las
Vegas on January 8th at 8.30
p.m. and
I've got big plans for fans
of the show in Sacramento the weekend
of January 14th through the 16th
you can celebrate
Martin Luther King weekend
by seeing
me do a stand-up show on January
14th, a Benson Interruption taping January 15th,
and a Douglas Movies taping on January 16th,
all at 4.20 in the afternoon in Sacramento, California.
And there's a special price to come to all three,
so go online and figure that out.
And I should also mention that I'll be hosting
the Film Awards
at the South by Southwest
Music and Film and Interactive Festival
in March.
So I'm excited about that.
Shall we meet our 12 guests
and play a game?
It's a prize box this week.
I brought a box because there's going to be so much shit in it.
It's going to be a box full of shit that someone's going to win.
And so far I've put into this box
Woot Monkeys.
Yeah.
Well, just the person who wins will just win one.
In the meantime, that guy right there got one.
He tore it out of somebody else's hand.
This is like a baseball going into the stands.
It's like a life or death situation.
I also brought Doug Benson Professional Humoridian CD,
a copy of Weezer's Hurley, signed by all four members of Weezer,
two Weezer t-shirts, two Weezer
posters, WeezerCruise.com
And then
every single guest tonight is going to be
contributing something to the box.
And these are
12 friends of mine. I picked their names
out of a hat to determine what order they
would come out of here tonight.
Come out of here?
The guests are going to pop out of my vagina.
So please welcome
our first of 12 competitors
tonight. Please welcome
Allison Hayslip, everybody.
Oh, shit.
Hi.
So have a seat.
Grab one of those microphones right there.
You got your hands full.
Got some things going on.
What's up?
Say hi to Allison, everybody.
This is her first time.
Hi, Allison.
First time on Douglas Movies at all.
It is.
But you might know her from her frequent co-hosting on Attack of the Show on G4.
Yes.
And.
You.
Yeah, we were on it together.
And the behind the scenes lady at The Voice.
Behind the scenes lady.
That was my official title.
That's what you were called, right?
I was in his behind the scenes lady.
You were the BSL on that show.
Yeah, I was.
The BSL bitches.
And you'd stand backstage and interview Nakia and...
You know their names.
And Framps.
Framps.
You watch the show.
What's her name?
Dia.
Dia Framps.
I've run into her twice now in person,
and both times she could not have seemed unhappier.
I will be honest, that's just kind of Dia.
Yeah, she's just like suicidal, right?
You always think that she's miserable.
She's always down in the dumps.
She's always about to sing a sad song.
With those huge eyes.
Yeah, just big sad eyes.
Good for her.
So, what did you bring to give away here, Allison?
I brought Lord of the Rings War in the North video game.
It's pretty fantastic.
And it's like some sort of collector's edition
with awesome bow and arrows and a leather book.
Yeah, a video game that comes with weapons
in case you want to step outside.
It's super cool.
And I brought a bonus prize.
What?
I found a scratch-off sticker to the Arclight in my purse
so you could win a free drink or something.
I don't know.
Yeah, I've got... Or you get like a C drink or something. I don't know.
Yeah, I've got... Or you get like a C. I think you get to spell out Arclight
and you win Arclight. I'm not sure.
Yeah, this is only half of the game that you
brought.
Seriously? Do I need the other half?
No, no, you don't need it. It's probably still in my purse. Whoever wins that,
I'll find the other half for you. This is to spell the Arclight
part, so this part's probably not
going to win you anything. If someone needs an L,
you never know.
Yeah, it might come in handy.
I'll find the other half.
The other half is you scratch it off and you get a popcorn or a handjob or something.
From Denise, and her favorite movie is Swingers.
I always have to lean in because the Arclight employees,
they have a badge
and their favorite movie
is on their badge,
which is kind of a cool idea,
but also that's a lot of pressure
to pick one movie.
I know.
You see someone up there
who has like clerks
and you're like,
really?
That's your favorite?
Yeah, come on.
Didn't you see an important movie?
Ever in your life?
Grapes of Wrath?
Schindler's List.
Animal House.
Something, yeah.
All right.
Thank you for coming, Allison,
and good luck tonight
playing for the first time.
Do I stay here?
Yeah, wherever you want to.
You sit wherever you want.
Yeah, if you like that scene,
I'd say stick with it.
You might have to share
your microphone
with the next guest.
I don't share.
Please welcome everybody.
Please welcome Brie Larson to the proceedings.
Hi, Brie.
Oh, you're enjoying your cookie.
Good for you.
She stole it from Chris Hardwick backstage.
Yeah, just sit over there somewhere.
Grab that microphone.
Talk into it.
Say hi to everybody.
I hope I chose a good seat.
I think you might have
I think that's a lucky one
you got back there
I feel good about it
Brie you might know
from one of my favorite
motion pictures of all time
Sky Pilgrim vs. the World
if I worked at the Arclight
that might possibly
be on my badge
oh really
that's your favorite movie
it's a pretty damn good movie.
It's such a good movie.
It's so rewatchable.
I never get tired of it.
It's kind of sad.
I just want to watch it all the time.
I don't need to see new movies.
I've got Scott Pilgrim.
And in the outtakes,
you have an awesome fall-down scene
that you... That's not a scene, Doug. Well, you know, an outtake and in the outtakes you have an awesome like fall down scene that like
that you
that's not a scene Doug
well you know
an outtake
where you fall
where you just fall down
while you're being
an awesome rock star
you just suddenly
fall on your ass
and
well
and you have a good
sense of humor
about it though right
well
they had to
Vaseline my shoes
onto my feet
so
there was Vaseline everywhere that makes for some hard walking when they Vaseline when they Vaseline my shoes onto my feet. So there was Vaseline everywhere.
That's for some hard walking
when they Vaseline the runway.
That's the worst modeling show ever.
Or the best.
Yeah, exactly.
So I imagine,
well, I could just be clumsy,
but I'm going to blame it on the Vaseline.
Okay.
That's an awesome song
by one of those,
by Bush or Stone Temple Pilots.
Blame it on the Vaseline.
What did you bring for a prize?
That half-eaten cookie that you have?
It could have been the cookie, but I got hungry.
I was waiting for someone.
Oh, it's in your sock.
That's a sexy prize.
I didn't understand this whole thing,
so I just kissed a Splenda packet, and
then also...
That's enough. You don't need it also
if you kissed a Splenda packet.
Every dude in the audience is down with that.
Everything you need to clone me.
I think that's better than my half
arc light scratch.
I think it's shaping up to be a good
prize box.
I think it's going to be the perfect box to jerk off into.
Especially if Sarah puts whatever she's bringing up,
if she touches it to her asshole,
because she's known to do that.
Let's bring out another good friend of mine.
You know her from Comedy Bang Bang.
Scott Aukerman is here.
Hot dog in the house.
Hot dog in the house.
Hot dog.
Hello.
Hey, buddy.
What'd you bring for the prize box?
Hey, I expect you to talk to me
as long and as often as these
two fine ladies. That was the first
thing I asked them. No, it was
not. You said you may know this person.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're right. I could watch that
over and over like a dumb
stoner. Alright, I got this.
I got this.
I got this. Shark Tale
is one of the greatest animated films of all time.
Shut up! It's because I wrote Shark Tale!
You can suck it!
I can't stop watching
Shark Tale.
I have an aquarium in my house with a video
behind it that
runs 24-7. No, it looks great. It looks like it's actually happening in my house with a video behind it that's... It seems like it's debating the purpose a little bit.
No, it looks great.
It looks like it's actually happening in my aquarium.
That's what we were aiming for, I think.
What'd you bring to give away?
Well, dog!
I like how you're stretching out
your part of the show.
You have to these days. In this economy?
I brought...
I brought... These are available at Earwolf.com
Earwolf
poster, limited
edition. Some of you have it.
Signed by me
and Jeff Ulrich.
Who cares?
But signed by me. So here you go.
And
Oh, lucky fan.
Got to touch it.
And,
and I kissed,
uh,
Bree's
Splenda packet
as well.
So
that sounds like
you know what it sounds like.
Really?
How far did you get last night?
Second base, Second base?
Third base?
Kissed your splint a packet.
Must we denigrate women like that, Doug, so early in the show?
Come on now.
Not when we're about to introduce a great lady like Ricky Lindholm is here.
Garfunkel of Garfunkel and Oates.
Hi, everybody.
Hi, Doug. Hi, Doug.
Hi.
You did a movie with some child star.
I did?
Yeah.
What?
You shot it in Cleveland.
Oh!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Victoria Justice.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
When's that come out? I was thinking child star.
She's like 18,
so I didn't put it together.
When's that come out?
I think next Halloween.
And what's it called? Hard Candy? Fun although i have to say about scott pilgrim
also might be one of my favorite movies oh jesus so i kate and i uh we there was like a wishing
well and we put pennies into it and kate wished for like i don't know like the health of her
family and i wished for a sequel to scott pilgrim that was also a musical. She was like,
you did?
And I was like,
yeah, totally.
It should just be a musical.
Can I back that wish?
Yeah.
Singing while fighting?
That'd be amazing.
Yeah.
Sounds amazing.
All right.
Well,
we'll petition Edgar
to do that.
Okay.
And what do you have
in the...
I have a bunch of
Garfunkel and Oates stuff
including some t-shirts
that say,
I love your Garfunkel
and Oates t-shirt.
Yeah, why let people think of what they want to say
when they walk up to you?
Just give it to them.
Exactly.
Right there on your shirt.
And there's CDs and stuff like that.
Nice.
Very good.
And I'm excited to say that I play Santa
in their latest couch video.
Yes, you did.
But you were smoking fake pot in the video.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That was not real.
That was Pineapple Express that I was smoking.
Yes, yes.
All right, thank you, Ricky.
Please welcome to the stage,
what the fuck, Mark Maron is here.
Thank you. Sit wherever you want and grab one of these microphones.
There's a strategy to this.
Uh-oh.
Mark's going to do some strategic sitting now.
Another great way to stretch out his time.
He doesn't want to be by Scott.
Come here, Mark.
Talk into a microphone if it's worthwhile.
I don't want to do that, Doug.
I'm looking for my microphone.
There you go.
All right.
Yeah, we only have three of them.
Everyone has to share.
Okay, I get it.
I get it.
All right, I'm good.
I'm good.
This is a very important night for me.
Your lady's here. No, I know good. This is a very important night for me. Your lady's here.
No, I know that.
You have to do well in front of her.
Oh, fuck you, man.
This is what Doug says to me backstage.
He's like, the only reason I asked you to come is because I know your girlfriend likes
this show and would enjoy the show.
And it doesn't really matter
if you lose first, right?
Because either way, she gets to
watch the show.
That's why I expected you to say yes.
That's not the only reason
why I asked you.
You're misunderstanding. If I lose quickly,
for days, she's going to be like,
you know, you should have, and I can't live with that.
And I want to bring it to your attention that the gift I brought
here is not only a signed CD
but if you open it up there's a
there's a little
holiday dollar in there. I put a dollar.
That's a Merry Christmas. That's like
if you're four
and your grandma gave you the CD.
I put a dollar in there.
The language is a little strong,
so I put a dollar in there.
Thank you, Mark.
Please welcome to the stage
the greatest Len Malton game player of all time,
Sam Levine.
Boo! Boo! First Len Malton game player of all time, Sam Levine.
Boo!
Boo!
Boo!
Come on, everyone.
Boo.
Yeah, there we go.
Find a microphone, Sam.
Sit next to Scott.
Hey, what's going on, guys?
Oh, come on.
He sits next to Brie.
You son of a bitch.
Brie Larson and I worked together 10 years ago when she was 12 years old.
Oh, that's so nice.
How about that?
How about that?
On a film or?
On a television program.
Television program. Sam, there's nothing that you do that is not strategy.
What?
I sat down because there's an open chair and a pretty young lady.
Come on.
You are an evil mastermind.
No.
I'll sit anywhere you want me to, Scott.
You son of a bitch.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh.
Anywhere you want.
You're fine.
All right.
Very well.
So Sam brought copies of two of the best movies I could think of.
The Crush.
The Crush starring Alicia Silverstone.
It's a good one.
It's a very good movie.
What's going on down there?
He just did some real evil strategy.
He put a broken chair that he was sitting on next to him.
And you don't know who's going to sit in it.
Scott Aukerman.
Yeah, what if hardwick hurts himself how
will you feel then yeah exactly and uh sam also brought a copy of man of the year that's a great
movie uh laura linney goes to an insane asylum in the movie she gets committed so if you've ever
wanted to see that in a feature.
No. What the hell's happening?
Nothing. Nothing's happening.
Nothing's happening.
Yes.
When's it going to be my time to shine?
Oh, you're next.
You're next.
This next guest brought something to give away to the audience,
but it's in her butthole
Sarah Silverman is here
Would you bring to give away Sarah Silverman?
Oh I should sign it but it's
These I You know if give away, Sarah Silverman? Oh, I should sign it, but it's...
These, I...
You know, if you watch the Sarah Silverman program,
I wore these in, like, every episode for a couple seasons.
No, let me smell them.
They've kept up really well.
I mean, this must be, like, a second pair of...
It's a pair of panties, right?
Oh, they're shoes.
Oh, yeah, we should say they're shoes.
Right, I'm sorry. I've got some sicko that wants to sniff her panties. I? Oh, they're shoes. Oh, yeah, we should say they're shoes. Right, I'm sorry.
I've got some sicko that wants to sniff her panties.
I have terrible eyesight.
I want to get my fucking business up in her shoes.
That's where the real action is at.
I love Sam when he has sex with a woman.
He's like, can I lick your shoes?
All right, so we have some shoes for Muse.
That's right.
Oh, wait, let me...
Oh, you want to sign them?
All right.
Do you have a Sharpay?
I'll do it on the inside.
Oh, no.
Does it have to be that?
I got one.
I have a pen.
I'll hook you up with a Sharpie.
Here you go.
Sign it with that.
Okay.
Sign your shoes.
Aukerman just forfeited.
Or he went to get a beer or something.
Oh, he's out?
The rules are very clear. If you vacate the stage... If you leave something. Oh, he's out?
The rules are very clear.
If you vacate the stage... If you leave the octagon, you are out.
All right, let's get somebody else out here.
I'm thrilled that he actually showed up
because not showing up is like a pastime for him.
It's like a hobby.
And he's here tonight, and he was here
a few weeks ago, so it's very exciting.
Please welcome Brian Posehn!
Brian!
Sit wherever you want.
That's a good spot.
Say hi to everybody.
It's for Sam.
I don't want him to have to look at my...
Yeah, it's nice of you to pull your pants up
before presenting Sam with that butt crack.
Even as high as the chair that I'm in is,
I still can't see anything
other than the back of Poseidon's head.
Do you sit in front of me at every movie I go to?
Is that you?
Yeah.
Yeah, stadium seating doesn't work out when you're behind
Brian Poseidon.
See, it goes protocol.
That's what that thing's called, right?
Good.
Ghost Protocol?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you got it right.
Good.
I'm excited to see that.
You're excited to see that?
Yeah.
Yeah, it looks good.
I saw the Dark Knight Rises, and then I got up and left.
I was not in the mood to sit through Ghost Protocol after seeing Dark Knight Rises. and then I got up and left. I was not in the mood to sit through Ghost Protocol after seeing
Dark Knight Rises.
No, they show the first six minutes
at some of the
IMAX screenings of Ghost Protocol.
And it's
pretty awesome.
And I think Bane is hard to understand.
I think Bane is hard to understand on purpose.
These people are like, oh, the sound mix needs to be changed.
Oh, you really think they didn't take a look at the sound mix
before Warner Brothers stuck a fucking six-minute scene
in front of Sherlock Holmes, treasurer of houses?
There's nothing like being angry
and then finishing it up with complete false information.
Brian Procene brought a copy of his comic that he wrote a few years ago called Last Christmas.
Yeah, Santa fighting zombies.
I think it's a tie between that and the sweetener with the lipstick stain on it for best prize so far.
But, you know, there's still more people to come.
Do you have anything else you want to say, Brian, before
I bring somebody else out?
I thought you might.
I saw fucking Chipwrecked.
Yeah. And next time I see
David Cross, I'm going to punch him in the face
so fucking hard.
Wait, the last time you saw him,
you punched him in the face, didn't you?
That was for the squeak wool.
Chipwreck makes the fucking squeak wool
look like Godfather 2.
I'm gonna punch him so hard,
I'm gonna have to go to the hospital.
Not him.
I'm gonna have to go to the hospital not him i'm gonna have to go to the hospital from punching
you're gonna have a hood in hand i get it all right please welcome to the stage you
heard him at the beginning singing that awesome new version of the theme song chris hardwick Hey, where do you want to sit?
Any place you want.
Are you a bike messenger
in a Dickens story?
Some asshole
bought the last set piece hat
from the movie Singles.
When Mark walked out there, I was like,
are you a citizen dick?
Hello, dog. It's great to be here, it is.
All the chimneys for miles are as clean as day.
Sorry, I just didn't want to leave my stuff back so that's a
good one Chris thank you I like how you scrambled for the mic to shit on me
great I have like there was a look of real panic in your eye my god I got one
you can't lessen the severity of my... No, no, I love it. To be honest, we were all reaching for the mic.
I just didn't.
My hair is fucked up.
So Chris brought a copy of...
What's this called?
Well, this is Italian Vogue,
and it's got Iggy Pop on the cover,
and then just by sheer coincidence,
I ran into Iggy between the bookstore
and the door to UCB.
Oh, and you had him sign it.
He signed it.
What did he write?
It says,
Buongiorno, sono Iggy.
Mi piace vestiti scintillanti.
Which means,
good day, I am Iggy.
I like shiny clothes.
And there he is.
He looks like a vampire
from the movie Underworld
in a shiny...
Yeah, or he's wearing...
Isn't that like Leeloo's outfit in Fifth Element?
Yes.
Yeah.
I can't believe I pulled her name out of nowhere.
Oh, good old Leeloo.
Three more amazing guests, you guys.
This is crazy.
Please welcome to the stage Jimmy Pardo.
Pardo!
Pardo!
Pardo!
I like the idea of the short guys
all being in the back.
I think it's a funny visual and I don't
usually play up the short angle.
I like it though.
Let's do it.
Three names.
I'm ready to play the game. Let's do it. Let's talk about what you brought. Oh, I'm sorry. play the game.
Let's do it.
Let's talk about what you brought.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Go right ahead.
You brought a Never Not Funny Jimmy Pardo podcast.
They call that a book bag.
Book bag.
Or you could...
Tote bag.
Tote bag.
Tote bag.
You could put groceries in it.
It's your call.
That's an all-purpose bag.
Yeah.
You want to put the trinkets in there?
Souvenirs of your day?
Whatever you want in that bag.
It's your call.
And it's signed by Jimmy Pardo.
And Matt Belknap got on here, too.
Yeah.
When you weren't looking, he signed that?
I wasn't happy with it, but yeah.
That's unfair.
I told Matt, sign this.
And he went, really?
Oh, come on.
Sign it.
It'll give somebody a charge.
This chair does not have a leg
thing, and
did you, what? Is that why you switch it, you cocksucker?
That doesn't have one either, so I'm dangling like I'm
Lily Tomlin.
It's awful, look at
Greg, I'm a little tiny guy.
For most people, the leg thing
is called the floor.
Okay, nerd. I'm a little tiny guy For most people the leg thing is called the floor Okay nerd Hey wait a minute that hurts
Yeah
I'm not Marin Hardwick
You can't play that game with me
What's up
Oh sorry
I was ready to move on but
Oh He's checking out he won't do it Please welcome... Oh, sorry. Sorry, Sam. I was ready to move on, but we got to...
Oh.
Oh, he's checking out.
He won't do it.
There he is.
Left a buffer.
Yeah, Brian, why don't you move to the back row while we're at it?
I'm just saying.
You want me to?
Might as well sit back there.
Now they're asking me to come to the front row.
Well, you don't have to.
These aren't the hugest people coming out.
Yeah, very little.
Yeah, yeah, this is perfect.
But the visual of me next to Brian,
it's pretty hilarious.
Am I right?
Please welcome the gigantic Kate McHugh.
Kate McHugh.
Just go sit over there somewhere.
Is this your prize right here?
Is this what you're giving away?
A half-eaten thing?
It's Ricky's.
I found it in her purse.
Oh, okay.
Because Ricky already brought it.
We had a joint gift and I didn't have anything to bring.
So that was in Ricky's.
Do you want any more before I give it away?
No, it's okay.
Okay.
Great. All right. So somebody's going to get the rest of a
sweet square.
You got to stick a dollar in that.
Kate's kind of drunk and it's funny
because she never. You're kind of drunk?
Just a little.
Wow, that is not like you.
They have the water to balance it out.
Okay, go sit over there and drink some of your water.
You have to drink the water to help it balance it out.
You hydrate while I bring out the final of the 12 guests.
I was drunk during the Tournament of Championships.
Did it help?
I don't really remember.
Yeah, you won.
Not with the public.
It begins. It begins.
Begins.
It's like a bunch of people just fighting to grab
one of the three microphones.
Oh, I gotta burn.
Give me that
microphone.
Alright, no
Doug Loves Movies anything would be complete
without this gentleman. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Graham Elwood.
Oh no, he's coming in the back way.
He's got some holiday whistling for our enjoyment.
A day or two ago, I thought I'd take a ride
No, no, no, that's it, that's it
I was joking, sit the fuck down
I'm sitting
I'm sitting
What's up, citizens?
Why is there a weird tall chair in the front row, Brian?
Brian, are you in a regular chair?
Grant, let me get you that other chair.
No, I think this chair is the most appropriate chair that's ever been put on a stage of any sort of theater in the history of mankind.
Wow. Wow
I spent my entire childhood
trying to whistle like that
So did I
You figured it out though
It's easy
You just put your lips together
and suck my cock All right, I'm going to try to get a picture of all you guys.
I've got to get way back here.
Yeah, sorry about that.
Hold on a second, Doug.
Fuck you, Scott.
No, I can take a picture while you do that.
I don't know if any of you here we go you all are so
white it looks like I don't think people are gonna be able to recognize your
faces
talk you to the microphone Sam you're gonna you're gonna want to go landscape
on that it's not gonna post well not gonna look good all right that's close
enough it'll be good it'll be good when I post it on Twitter because people like
have to listen to see who you guys are because it's such a terrible picture
guys are because it's such a terrible picture oh nice try all right shall we play a game yes
the order will not reverse what yeah single single Guess wrong, you're out.
That's right.
Challenge someone.
Challenge someone and lose.
You're also out.
Yeah.
And you have to leave, right?
Yeah.
The winner will get the third alternate.
Yeah, you can stay and watch.
The winner will get the third alternate slot in the next tournament of championships,
which will be beginning here at UCB on January 3rd.
Only the
second place finishers audience member
will get to name a shithead.
Yeah.
And there's no choosing of categories.
I'm just going to tell you a category and we'll go from there.
Yeah.
This is going to be an exciting game.
And each of you,
please, let's see your name tags,
everybody.
Get them out, guys.
Yeah, we're not kidding around here with the name tags.
Nice. Steve, lighten up.
Christmas story.
Wow.
Do you guys not have jobs?
Sean has a light bright and Daryl has a glow dome.
Wow.
That's pretty impressive.
Sketchers, I have that same shoe on.
Outstanding, friend.
Never going to pick you.
Oh, wait, you got the Donkey Kong shirt from the CD that I'm putting in the box.
Look at this now.
There you go.
Bam.
Oh, shit.
There's your CD.
You have a Donkey Kong shirt and my shoe.
What a fucking creep.
Any of the girls are eight and a half shoe?
Do we have any eight and a half shoes?
Should we go, should we pick?
That's who Sarah wants to play for.
Somebody has an eight and a half shoe.
Doug, are we picking?
Yeah, go ahead.
Everybody go select who you want to play for
and take the name tag from them
and then bring it back to your seat.
Someone could help Kate out
and do it for her
if she's too drunk.
This is like a junior high school dance
all of a sudden.
Wandering around looking to see who they want to
pair up with. When it's on someone's phone
it's just so, they're being so vulnerable.
This is her life I have in my hand.
I know, let's make some calls.
You didn't even write his name on the shoe.
I just grabbed a shoe.
I have a moving name tag.
How do I turn it off, Daryl?
Mark Maron has a moving name tag.
This is the first night of Hanukkah.
I guess I should acknowledge that.
You are the greatest.
Alright, has everybody got something?
Alright, everybody's got one.
Let's go through and talk to everybody about who they're playing for.
Sarah, whose phone do you have?
Kylie's.
Kylie's phone.
Sarah's playing for Kylie.
She's got her phone.
Pass the mic to Mark.
Let's see what he's playing for.
Daryl?
I'm playing for Daryl and the globe.
The glow dome.
He's got this weird glow dome thing.
It's got menorah and a prison street.
It's very festive.
Alright, let's see what Brie Larson's got over there. Oh, I've got two microphones.
Keep it up. What is that?
I'm so in awe of this.
I guess this is for
Hillary, but mostly it's for Macaulay Culkin,
I think. It's from Home Alone. It's all the picturesulay Culkin, I think. It's from Home Alone.
It's all the pictures of the cast members from Home Alone.
It's all Home Alone characters.
You really get to just look into a window into his life, really.
Get that light.
Get that light.
All right, let's go to Sam Levine.
There's chocolates in it.
I picked the absolute crappiest name tag in the room.
It's on a little piece of poster board.
It's clearly been rolled up all night.
Well, that's Julio.
You know him from when you were playing with him
down at the schoolyard.
That's true.
It's true.
I forgot about that.
I forgot about that.
But my favorite part is he phonetically wrote out Julio
under his name.
In case you didn't know.
In case I was going to call him Julio, I guess.
You'd call him that.
You're that kind of punk.
I'm going to call him Julio now.
Brian Posehn, who are you playing for?
You know you can actually buy the Home Alone house?
For like a million dollars.
So we couldn't actually buy it.
But the wet bandits fucked it up.
I'm playing for Matt.
Matt has a Batman Pez dispenser.
Nice, Matt.
Way to go, Matt.
Of course I had to go for that.
Ackerman?
I'm playing for Kimberly Sandoval,
who taped all four of her last Comic-Con badges together,
and that really spoke to me.
Because I have been going since 1983!
1983!
No, I went once in 1983
and then didn't go back until 1998
but I've been going since then
nice
78 for me
Graham
I picked a young man with the name
of George
that I actually had to write on his shoe
he just held up his shoe and I wrote George
on his shoe, very similar to mine. Slightly
different color. Mine's probably a little better.
But that's who I'm
playing for. I'm a little bit better
guy. It's a very similar shoe.
Jimmy Pardo,
who are you playing for? I'm playing for this young man right here.
Raise your hand, young fella.
This young man I've met
no less than five times over the last two weeks
and I still had to go, who are you?
I'm not good with names
I'm playing for TJ McMillan
I don't know who this is
He tells me we've met
I'm playing for TJ
McMillan
He's got a license plate
He's got a Jeep, 86 I think
That Matt Brody pulled out of a shark.
All right.
Kate McEuchie, who are you playing for?
I love this name tag so much.
Instead of a Christmas story, there's a lamp.
You know, it's the leg lamp, but it's a Christmas Tori.
Good job, Tori.
Nicely done.
I love it.
Well, I hope you win.
I almost broke it, but then I didn't.
All right.
Well, Tori, you got a good chance here because Kate's a good player.
The other half of the Garfunkel and Oates is right next to her,
Ricky Lindholm, and you have a light bright.
Well, I'm playing for Sean, who not only did his name in light brights,
but is also wearing an I Love Heart Garfunkel and Oates T-shirt.
Yeah.
That's Sean Sacame, Snap the Jab. Yeah. That's Sean Sacamay, Snap the Jab.
Yeah.
He's been a guest on the show before, and he brought a great name tag.
Hey, Willie, I'm playing for Alf.
Fonzo.
Well done.
His name's Alfonzo.
That's his whole name is Alfonzo.
Nice.
He rolled his shithead on the back, but we don't need to reveal that right now. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. So his name is Alfonso. Nice. He wrote his shithead on the back, but we don't need to reveal that right now.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Yeah, so his name is Alfonso,
so he has a picture of everybody's cat-eating alien favorite, Alf.
And he wrote Onzo after Alf,
so Alfonso, it's good to me.
Alfonso.
And Allison Haisley.
I feel like a whole other game would be to pick
who each person
whose name tag each person
here will pick
that's another betting round that could
be possible
that sounds like an amazing thing for a podcast
I would probably guess that Chris would go
Alf
I would guess that Chris would go Alf
I might also guess that Ricky would go Light Bright.
You know, it's interesting.
It is.
Did you smoke pot backstage?
No, I didn't.
Allison, who are you playing for?
Well, I stuck with the Arclight theme that I started.
So I have the actual Arclight badge
And it's Scott
And his favorite movie
Is Wet Hot American Summer
Nicely chosen
And the fucking
Arclight badges
Are flashlights too
My mind is blown
This is awesome
This is what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna blind you
With Arclight
Well it's working
You don't
You don't get to keep it
Doug does she know
She can't keep it
Can I keep the badge Doug?
I think, yes.
That's cool, right, Scott?
Scott, you're fucking fired after this.
She really wants it.
She really wants it.
Oh, my gosh.
Do I just get to go to the Arklay for free?
Yeah, I'm totally Scott.
What are you talking about?
Whoa, check out Scott's sweet tits.
No problem, bro.
Pretty sweet.
So you know, get here.
Last year, Sarah Silverman was the first eliminated
in a tragic, tragic moment
that she doesn't even remember.
She's blacked it out.
She likes to move on from such things.
Keep this fight off the stage.
So I'm going to go.
We're going to start with you.
Yeah.
And then we'll go to Mark,
and we'll go around this way,
and we're not going to ever change the order. Eight names. We're going to keep going in the same order And then we'll go to Mark and we'll go around this way and we're not going to ever change the order.
Eight names.
We're going to keep going in the same order.
Whatever it is.
It's too confusing.
You don't get to pick a category this time.
I just lay one on you and we go from there.
Your category, Sarah Silverman, is Obama,
which is movies with a black president.
There are at least five of them
that have been made.
This one is from 1997.
Leonard Maltin gives it three stars.
It's about right. He calls it wildly
imaginative, and he
says it was conceived
by the director
when he was a teenager.
So some director thought of this in his teens
and then did it as an adult.
In 1997.
And he lists nine names.
Wait.
Ten names.
He lists ten names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Sarah Silverman?
Seven names.
Good opening bid. Mark Maron?
Six.
Nice follow-up bid.
Brie Larson?
How do I play?
You could bid less names. You could go like five names.
I feel like I'm in between sharks here.
Or you could say name that movie to Mark
if you don't think he can get it in six names.
Don't ask Sam Levine what he would do.
Sam Levine would plot for weeks about what he would do.
Oh, I definitely can't name it.
Well, that's not the right attitude.
Yeah, make Mark name it well that's not the right attitude then they make mark name it good he's gonna be the first one out Jessica six names you get right yeah I
think I think all right here's the clues again it's as a black president in a
three stars 1997ly imaginative.
And was conceived by the director when he was a teenager.
I think I know the movie.
I just don't know the name.
Well, here's your six...
Here's your six names.
We'll see what happens.
John Neville.
Lee Evans.
Tommy Tiny Lister Jr.
That gave it away for a lot of people.
Brian James.
Luke Perry.
The black Luke Perry.
Does it have a question mark after Luke Perry?
It does.
It does.
I didn't know that was his official stage name,
but it's Luke Perry?
And then Chris Tucker
Chris Tucker is your sixth name
Is it the third element?
It's close, right?
It is close
But not right
Is that a movie?
I can't believe someone would know the answer
Kind of
And then miss it by some elements.
Oh, wait.
And it was already...
It already came up once, right?
Yeah, I know.
I know the movie's got the weird blue lady in it.
It's love.
Well, thank you for coming, Mark.
And I'm sorry that Jessica's never going to let you hear the end of this one.
It's called The Fifth Element.
So close.
It's a Luc Besson movie.
Third Element was such a good guess, though.
Thank you.
Do you have any parting words you'd like to say?
Yeah, go fuck all of you.
Mark Barrett everybody
What the fuck
Yeah now it's starting to get real isn't it
Back to the camp
Oh here we go
Who's did this belong to
Oh here you go sorry about that
Why are you taking your chair
Alright you guys settle Settle down.
Don't speak unless it's into a microphone.
Don't speak.
Has anybody seen The Artist yet?
I hear it's great.
None of the other comedians have seen it.
Oh, you have. Is it good?
Yeah.
Alright.
I didn't mean to ask you a question when you didn't have
a microphone that was rude okay she says it's magical it's very good Ricky
Lindholm all right what just happened we knocked out mark who is between you two
and you knocked him out so we start with Sam all right well. Very well. Do your worst, Benson.
Bravo.
Alright.
Pip-Pip.
Your category is Pussy Galore.
This is a
film that has cats in it.
Oh.
Well, I can think of another
meaning, everybody.
I can think of another meaning for that. I can think of another meaning.
I don't get it.
What's the other meaning?
You'd have to spend a little time
at Spencer Gifts to really know.
All right, Sam.
Yeah, buddy.
This movie has some cats in it,
and Lettermon gives it two stars.
It's from 2001.
Very well.
He says about this...
He says about this movie that it has a good premise,
but that it is undone
by an uneven blend of
silliness and heavy-handedness.
Yeah.
Alright, good premise, undone
by heavy-handedness
and silliness.
Two stars, and
there are
11 names listed?
Wow.
13 names. 13 names.
13 names.
I will say 13 names.
Oh, good, strong opening bid.
We go to Brian Posehn.
12.
He passes it like a hot potato.
Doug, I'm going to guess 11 names.
Nicely done.
Strategy.
Graham Elwood?
Eight.
James Pardue.
Yep.
Cats, you say?
Yes.
Yes.
Jazz musicians. jazz musicians uh graham said eight huh
what was the year, I'm sorry? 98?
2001.
It was delayed, huh?
You made me laugh.
I'll go seven.
I go seven.
He says seven.
Kate Micucci.
Oh.
Hi.
I... He says seven. Kate Micucci. Oh. Ha. I think I'm going to say name that movie.
I go home.
I go home.
Okay.
What's up?
First of all, Kate, has anyone ever yelled cocksucker at you?
Because you're the sweetest looking person.
It's about time.
It's finally happened.
All right, here we go.
Something for your journal.
2001, give me the beats again, please, sir.
I'll give you the beats.
Two stars from Len.
Two stars.
He says that it is
undone by an uneven blend
of silliness
and heavy handedness.
Uh huh.
But that it's,
you know,
it's a good premise.
Huh.
How many names do you get?
14.
Liar.
I thought we were
doubling it up.
Nope.
Doug, can I ask you?
You get seven names.
Does this mean that
there's cats in it?
Or that there's the word cats is in the...
That's a very valid question.
It means there are cats in the film.
Are music videos included?
That's the category.
It's not opposites attract.
Sorry.
You don't have to worry about it, Chris.
It's all up to Jimmy.
I said it on mic.
Your seven names, Jimmy.
Let's say it really loud so people can go back.
So it's not going to be MC Scat Cat?
Funny.
Do you get to know?
All right, let's go.
Give me the seven.
Seven names are Salome Jens,
Charlton Heston,
John Lovitz,
Michael Clark Duncan,
Joe Pantoliano,
Susan Sarandon,
and Sean Hayes.
I don't believe this is a real movie.
You have a microphone and you're not talking into it.
Nice to meet you. Oh, I don't have any idea. if this is a real movie. You have a microphone and you're not talking into it.
Oh, I don't have any idea.
Even he realizes it's not worth it.
Well, Jimmy, I'm sorry that you got thrown out
even earlier this year,
but I appreciate you coming down.
I'm not out.
Oh, I'm sorry.
When you said you had no idea,
I thought that maybe...
Give me a moment to regroup.
Did you mention Sean Hayes?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Thank you, Chris.
Thank you.
He's going to do it.
He's going to do it.
Hey, idiot.
Whistle something stupid.
Whistle something stupid.
Oh, James Pardo.
Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for raising all that money for Smile Train with the podcast-a-thon.
And I have a feeling there's going to be an outburst coming in a little bit.
It's not like Jimmy to just walk out quietly.
What was the movie?
The film, he had no idea.
Oh, there he goes.
Do you want to know the movie name, Jimmy, as you leave?
That's not another clue?
No, no.
No, I just wanted to tell you
that the film is called Cats and Dogs.
Oh!
Cats and Dogs. Oh, shit.
No, why is he going back that way?
That's the suicide room
back there.
He just keeps walking
back and forth like it's a shooting gallery.
It's like a loser fashion show.
Excuse me, Doug?
Excuse me, Doug? Excuse me, Doug.
Yes, sir.
Is it Captain Docs?
Sorry, you can't play from your car.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for being here.
Jimmy Pardo,
Mark Maron, you guys.
Yeah.
Let's hear it for failure.
Excuse me.
Why does Mark get in
on my applause?
That seems unfair.
Oh, because he did a walkthrough right after yours.
Oh, I apologize.
Did he, again, try to steal my thunder?
He took at least half of your thunder.
On the beta tape.
Did Jimmy bring his own mic?
He doesn't leave the house without a microphone.
This is part of who interrupts the vents in Dobbs movies.
This is easy. I like this.
You do all the heavy lifting, then I get the punchline in life.
I'm done.
I bet he's not.
Ricky. Yes. Let's he's not. Ricky.
Yes.
Let's start with you.
Okay.
Your category is movies with four letters in the title.
And that's the whole title is four letters.
An example would be salt.
Or mash.
I've said too much.
I've narrowed it down too much.
That's half a mashed potatoes recipe.
You also need milk.
Brian Poshane, ladies and gentlemen!
We have a winner!
Who are you playing for, Brian? I don't see any reason to continue on this gentlemen. We have a winner. Who are you playing for, Brian?
I don't see any reason to continue at this point.
Brian is the winner.
I don't see any reason to continue.
We should just pack it in.
You also need the movie Butter.
Oh, no.
Shut the fuck up, Levine.
Boo, oh no.
Getting booed.
I had a guest shushed recently.
That was good, too.
Okay, Kate McCoochie.
Oh no, it's not me.
It's me.
People mix us up.
It's the other Kate McCoochie.
We look exactly alike.
It's tall blonde Kate McCoochie.
Ricky, this movie's a bomb
according to Leonard Maltin.
It's from 2003.
He says about this movie
that it is a
music video style
treatment
of a serious subject.
It also says that
What year I was talking.
2003.
It also says, he names a specific actress.
I'm not going to say who, because I might give it away.
But he says, if you really want to see this actress sitting on the toilet,
this is the movie for you.
Oh.
Oh, that helped her.
That helped her.
Don't say anything just yet.
And what is that movie with that girl sitting on the toilet?
I know Jade Fonda
sat on the toilet
and fun with Dick and Jane,
but that's not it.
Oh, it's shit.
Oh.
Four letters.
Shit, that's right.
And there are...
I'm going to get it right
this time, I swear.
Ten names.
How many names
do you think you can get it in,
Ricky Lindholm?
The category is four letters. Name is on the, Ricky Lindholm? The category is four letters
The name is on the tip of my tongue
The category is four letters
Yeah
Ten names
The name is on the tip of your tongue
Can you spell cum with two M's?
No, but the proper way is C-O-M-E
You fucking gross scumbag
I spell Sam with two M's
Brian's such a cum snob
That's the same thing? gross scumbag. I saw Sam with two M's. Brian's such a cum snob. Same thing.
So you should just bid like a big number of names.
Nine names.
Can we go to Chris Hardwick?
Eight names.
Allison Hayslip, first time in the batter's
box. I'm so
nervous. Just, you know,
you could go lower.
Or you could say
Chris Hardwick, name it.
I'm going to go seven.
Okay. Then we go around
to, back around to Sarah
Name it
Oh shit
Sarah
It's my first time here
Give me a break
Sorry
Scott I'm sorry
Smart play Sarah
Okay
2003
Yeah you get seven names
I'll give you the clues again
The bomb
And one of the actresses
In the film
Sits on a toilet.
Now, he said it was a bomb or
the bomb.
Malton throws that around still because he's
not that hip.
This is a straight up bomb
and the other clue was what?
That it was...
No.
I just was watching that again.
No, there was a toilet thing.
Oh, music video style treatment.
Show that to somebody.
Sitting on the toilet.
Music.
Okay, stop it.
And then she goes, now flush.
And it's so...
I don't know.
I love it.
I connect with it.
Half of this conversation
is unheard by the listeners.
Sorry.
I retract my statement.
We need Sarah
to keep her mic.
All right.
So, yeah.
So, you get seven names.
All right, give it.
Here's your seven names.
Mickey Rourke,
Eric Roberts,
Deborah Harry,
Alexis Arquette, Peter Stormare,
Patrick Fugit,
and
Mina Sovari.
Oh, shit.
Seems like a movie people should know.
What the fuck?
Four letters in the name.
Even Sam Ravine is stumped.
Sarah thinks she knows it.
I do.
I think I do suddenly.
Allison, it's been great having you here.
We'll have you back again sometime.
This is a big competition.
I don't even think this is a movie,
but I'm just going to say Beth.
Because it has four letters.
Four letters.
And that's what I pictured
chasing me on the toilet.
I've had worse guests
from other guests in the past.
Damn it, what is it?
Yeah, but the rest of the stars,
what do you think it is, Sarah?
Is it that movie Spin?
No.
Mic drop.
Brittany Murphy,
John Leguizamo,
and Jason Schwartzman
in Spun.
Thank you, Allison. Thank you, Allison!
Thank Allison Hayslip, everybody!
Yay!
Oh my gosh.
Well, I hope you feel good about yourself
knocking out such a great competitor, Sarah.
Go back.
Sorry, Allison.
Who's the child that came to play?
Jason Schwartzman?
And Brittany Murphy.
Jason Schwartzman? Wasn't it a movie about... Jason Schwartzman? And Brittany Murphy. Jason Schwartzman?
Wasn't it a movie about...
Jason Schwartzman?
It's all that speed stuff.
Why do you have to look on your face like it's not a thing?
He was the lead?
In Spun.
Do you know what Spun was?
No.
It was like a fucking meth head movie.
Don't watch it.
All I can say is don't watch it.
It's horrifying.
It's disgusting.
It's horrifying. It's disgusting. It's horrifying.
There's a girl tied up to a bed that's listening to a skipping record and then they leave her
for like 24 hours.
Is she on the toilet?
Tied to a bed.
No, Mina Suvari's on the toilet.
Yeah.
I love the way she poops.
What do you mean she was the last name I named?
She was the last of the seven and then I named three more
and Jason Schwartzman
was the star of it.
So he'd be the top name.
Guys, we'll never figure this out.
Let's just continue.
I don't know what you're stuck on.
I came back because I want to watch.
Oh, Allison's back to watch.
And let's move on.
We've got to press on.
You know, it's sad
when we lose people,
but you know.
You don't seem very sad. We've got to press on. It's sad when we lose people, but you know. You don't seem very sad.
We've got to keep going.
At Cult of Sue Todd, whatever that means, Cult of Sue Todd, suggested Scott Augerwitz explain the game to Brian Posehn.
That's not the way you used to do it.
We read from the bottom of the list up. The harder names first. It's such a great argument
would people say to me how come the guests never know how to play? Well because the guests who've
played numerous times don't know how to play so why would a new guest know how to play? All right, here we go. Start with Bree.
Hook her up.
Oh.
The category is... Oh, my.
The category is Hey, Everybody,
which is movies that have horses in them.
Yeah, that was submitted by, I'm going to say it again,
Cult of Sue Todd.
All right, Cult of Sue Todd.
Nicely done.
This movie is from 2003.
Leonard Mullen gives it three stars.
He calls it astonishing.
And he also calls it beautifully crafted.
Yeah, but only three stars.
What's up, Len?
And there are 14 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Brie Larson.
You can start with 14. Get a big bid going.
14, she says.
We go to Sam Levine. Always the strategist.
No, I was just helping her.
I would say 12 names.
All right. Nicely done.
11.
Brian. Scott.
Name that movie
Oh shit
I feel good about this Brian
Really?
Yeah
I don't feel good about it
For you Scott
Three stars
2003
It's got horses in it
It's astonishing
Beautifully crafted
And you get
Brian has never seen
A movie like that
And he gets 11 names Though right? Yeah 11 names Beautifully crafted. And you get... Brian has never seen a movie like that.
And he gets 11 names, though, right?
11 names.
All right.
Here's your 11 names.
Brian saw Chipwreck.
What makes you think he wouldn't watch a fucking horse movie?
Depends on the timing of it.
I don't think he was watching horse movies in 2003.
He didn't have a little kid yet.
For the podcast listener.
What?
I'm rubbing my beard while I think.
And somebody said
look at Brian out there
so I figured
that the people
that can't look
might want to hear
what Brian's doing.
Or just rub your microphone
in your beard
and it'll sound like
you're rubbing it.
Oh God.
That's disgusting.
I don't know which is grosser.
Sarah just threw up.
All over the place.
Sarah, I wash my beard with cum.
Cum farts with a Z, right?
See you, MM.
That's what we're talking about.
All right, Brian, you get 11 names.
Fine.
Cum.
Here's your 11 names, Brian. I mean, you own it. 11 names not mine come here's your 11 names
I mean you own it
11 names
sorry
David McCullough
Sam Bottoms
Ann Corley
Royce D. Applegate
Michael O'Neill
Ed Lauder
the great Ed Lauder
Eddie Jones
Kingston Deque
here's where it gets
good for you, maybe.
William H. Macy,
Gary Stevens,
and Elizabeth
Banks.
Those are your 11 names. Left out
three names. Arguably
the three biggest names.
So 2003,
it's 2003, it's 2003,
it's got horses in it.
Name a movie that's got horses in it,
you might get it.
I don't know.
I know what it is,
but I know the wrong name.
I don't know.
Fuck.
Because there's no way
I fucking saw it.
And if it was called fuck,
it would have been
in the four letter category.
Yeah, yeah.
What do you think it is?
I keep thinking Secretariat
because it's a real horse,
but it's not.
It's another real horse and I don't give a fuck. I wish I could. Oh, yeah. What do you think it is? I keep thinking Secretariat because it's a real horse, but it's not. It's another real horse, and I don't give a fuck.
I wish I could... Oh, shit!
I wish I could let you stay just for that answer
because it was as descriptive as you could get without actually knowing it.
Same letter, too.
Seabiscuit!
Thank you for coming, Brian saying everybody oh no there's some act
there's some acrimony as he leaves the stage sounds like thated the gamble to me and I said, he doesn't know shit. Brian, don't leave. Happy holidays, you big Jew.
Oh.
He's not Jewish.
But he is big.
All right.
So we start with Scott.
Or no, you told him to name it.
All right.
Nicely done, Scott.
You knocked out a strong competitor.
This microphone smells like a stinky fucking cum beard.
That was my favorite pirate.
Hey, it's cum beard.
Yeah, you could not find him in the Caribbean.
He was in a much sketchier part of the world.
I got a peg leg and a cummy beard.
Hey, I got a belly full of semen.
That's a play on words, you see.
I'm going to give you the finest pearl necklace
You've ever seen
I'm gonna titty fuck your parrot
That's possible
Look it up
No
Parrots are not mammalian in nature
They don't have tits
Alright Graham
Your category Suggested by Hey, Graham, don't be a pussy. All right, Graham, your category,
suggested by at Monyagi,
M-O-N-Y-A-G-I, Monyagi.
Kanban wa.
Monyagi suggested Lens, Christmas, Not Christmas.
These are the favorite Christmas set movies
that aren't about Christmas, according to Leonard Maltin.
It's his favorite movies that take place around Christmas but are not Christmas movies.
Got it.
Yeah.
Christmas Not Christmas.
Okay.
It's a clever name of this category.
The year is 1990.
Leonard gives this Christmas Not Christmas movie
three stars. He calls it strikingly
original. And he
also says that
the lead actor is perfect.
And there
are ten
names listed.
How many names do you think you can get in 1990?
I'll go nine.
He says nine names because he knows that no one's going to challenge that.
Kate says she might know it.
So she's probably giving away a little bit too much information.
Yeah, wait.
Then I'll just say eight names.
Okay.
Yeah, sure.
Seven names.
Ricky says seven.
Sarah says
oh
there's not enough
taunting in this game
Chris
I think you should
name that movie
Ricky gets seven names
I fear for Chris Hardwick
at this time
if I must say
oh no
I'll get to the valet
before the rush.
That's a bummer.
This is horrible.
This could be horrible for me.
Yeah, everybody here
valeted, right?
There's no other place
to park in this neighborhood.
If you drive a couple blocks
this place is a park.
He's just going to get
a drink or something.
But that would be awesome if he didn't come back.
It was like, oh my god, I get to get to the ballet.
He has to make a BM.
On the ballet.
He likes to shit on their little stand with all the keys.
This is how Mina Savari does it.
Three stars, 1990, strikinglyp. Three stars. 1990. Strikingly original.
Christmas Not Christmas.
And also the lead actor's perfect.
Your seven names?
Yes.
Seven names, Chris.
Out of how many?
Out of 72 names.
No, it's out of 10.
Seven names are Dick Anthony Williams.
That's just one name.
Caroline Aaron. Conchata one name. Caroline Aaron.
Conchata Farrell.
Kathy Baker.
Anthony Michael Hall.
Alan Arkin.
And Vincent Price.
Are your seven names.
He knows what it is?
Say it then.
Into the microphone.
He told me to name it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You can tell me. No, no, no. Don't tell her. Don't tell. He told me to name it. Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You can tell me.
No, no, no.
Don't tell her.
Don't tell her.
You have to name it, Ricky.
I'm sorry.
I thought Rick had to.
I thought Chris had to name it.
Anthony Michael Hart.
I mean, Rick.
Alan Harkin.
Rick and Chris.
You know it.
So Chris knows what it is.
Everyone around me knows it.
Kate knows what it is.
Ricky, I don't know what it is.
Sarah doesn't know.
Bree, do you know? She doesn't know Bree do you know?
She doesn't know Sam?
Sam knows
No fucking clue
Of course Sam knows
Graham do you know?
Graham's
Graham's gay about it
He's all gay hand about it
What do you think Ricky?
I don't know
Oh no I know Can I take a guess no yes Edward Scissorhands that's
right oh you gotta check it out let's hear it for Ricky Lindholm everybody
thank you Ricky it's a quality player she's a quality player. You just get tripped up sometimes. It happens.
All right.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
I miss you already.
Kate McCoochie's so cute.
They like to be together.
She looks exactly like me when I was five.
It's crazy. If ever you make a biopic
Let me know
Alright Sarah we're starting with you
And your category is
2-2-2
That's movies with either the number 2
The letters T-O
Or the letters T-O-O
In the title 2-2-2
A lot of movies have T-O-O in the title? 2-2 or 2? A lot of movies
have T-O-2
in the title.
Yeah.
And you use this.
This was a topic
a few episodes ago.
Sam with two M's
will probably point out.
Yeah, the categories
come up again
when nobody picks them.
Okay, here we go.
1983.
Leonard gives this movie
bomb status.
Did I say 83?
And he calls it puerile.
Yeah.
And also
at the end of the review, one sentence,
two words, just awful.
Any list?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,
10 names. How many names you can get it in,
Sarah Silverman? It's got 2, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 names. How many names he can get it in, Sarah Silverman?
It's got two, two, or two in the title.
Nine, she says.
Go to Brie Larson.
For a minute, you can borrow that.
You can have the microphone for a second, Brie.
Eight.
Eight, she says.
Go to Sam Levine.
I will say seven.
Nice.
I'm going to say six.
Scott Aukerman.
I'm going to say name it.
Oh! Oh! All right. Wow! I'm gonna say six Scott Aukerman I'm gonna say name it Oh
Alright
Wow
Ram Elwood
Do you want the clues again Scott?
Pure Isle
Shitty
What?
Pure Isle
Yeah
It was a bomb
Yeah I didn't really tell you much about it
And
How many names you get?
Six Don't you get? Six.
Don't you remember?
He was like, six.
All right, your six names are
Gene Hackman, Kathy Bates, Ernie Hudson,
Casulo Guerra, Scatman Crothers,
and Beatrice Strait.
Yeah, those are your six names. This movie's got two, two, or two in the title. Scatman Crothers and Beatrice Straight. Yeah.
Those are your six names.
This movie's got two, two, or two in the title.
It's from 1983.
Okay, I'm going to discount T.O.
because there's too many movies with that.
So I'm going to say
Gene Hackman and the Scatman.
Let's see. Hackman, Scatman. Let's see.
Hackman, Scatman.
That should be a category.
No, it shouldn't.
Because this is the only movie
that would qualify.
Hackman, Scatman, you say.
Hackman, Scatman.
Yes.
The Hackman and the Scatman.
To
Light a rose, my home again rose.
I will take a stab at something that I don't even know is a movie.
And I'll just say two hearts.
Not a bad guess.
Not it.
No, it's a fantastic guess.
Because it has the word two in it.
But this movie, this is a tough one.
Because it is really an awful movie.
But the other names are Charles Durning, Olivia Newton-John, and John Travolta.
Two of a kind.
I used to have the t-shirts.
My bad.
Sorry, everyone. Scott Aukerman, everybody. Scott Aukerman-shirts. My bad. Sorry, everyone.
Scott Aukerman, everybody.
Scott Aukerman.
Yes.
Good night.
Charles Durning and Scatman Crothers played the angels.
They played the angels in the movie.
Oh, I remember that movie.
Yeah, yeah.
Thanks, buddy.
Wow.
Hey, you guys, we're at the halfway mark.
High fives.
High fives.
Yeah.
You guys are the best.
We did it.
You've done it.
What's up?
All right.
So Scott got knocked out.
Graham made him name it.
So we go to Kate McHugh.
Hi.
All right, Kate.
Here's your category, Kate.
Okay.
Suggested by...
You guys all right?
Sorry.
You guys work out?
No, we're good.
We're good.
Okay. The category was suggested by
LawnMonster13
On Twitter
And the category is Mike Myers movies
That's movies with either Mike Myers
Or the murderer in the Halloween films
Those are two different Mike Myers
Wait a minute
That's Michael Myers That's a minute. No, no, no, no, no. That's Michael Myers.
That's a fucking different name.
Into the microphone.
This rage is real.
That's a different name.
You can't make Mike Myers and Mike Myers and Mike.
His name is Michael Myers.
He's Michael Myers in the Friday the 13th movies.
I mean, the Halloween movies, but he's.
Doug, is this what it sounds like when I complain on the show?
No, that's more like this.
Me can't touch the floor It's Hanukkah
And I didn't get a thing
How come
I would totally name that
In the book
I really should go back to that diction class
So you're saying I can't have a category
Called Michael Myers
That's either Halloween movies or Mike Myers movies?
I don't think so, but it's your show.
I mean, you can do whatever you like.
I'm not trying to micromanage your poor ideas.
Yeah, so the Obama category, hilarious!
But this one, hey, that's bullshit.
I think what he's trying to say is Michael Myers and Mike Myers
are two different people.
They're two different names.
There's a play on words in a game show?
That's bullshit.
That's never happened.
All right, here we go.
It's either got Michael Myers or Michael Myers in it.
Okay.
Two stars from Leonard.
This movie's from 2008.
He says about it that it is
it's
recycled.
And he also says
That could be any of the movies
that those two gentlemen have done.
Yeah, I knew
he wasn't going to give it away.
And he also says that it was co-written by one of the stars of the film.
All right, so that narrows it down a little bit.
And there are 11 names?
11 names.
How many names are you getting?
11, please.
Okay.
Chris?
I'm gonna...
Throw in a friend?
Yep.
I feel like I know what it is, so I'm in that weird
place where
do I just say, well, I'll do it in one name
and then fucking blow the doors off this theater?
Do it!
Do it! Do it!
But, oh, Hardwick!
Come on!
What? A hundred...
Hardwick! Hardwick!
Hardwick! Hardwick!
Hardwick! Hardwick!
Alright, alright, alright, alright!
One name! The Love Booth! Yeah!
Sierra and... Do it for
America! What are you doing?
Sit down. I'm telling you, the more people do it for America what are you doing sit down
I'm telling you the more people play the game
the worse they get at it
alright ten names
you can say one name but the bidding has to continue
you can't just blurt out the answer also
oh alright
cause I have to say the one name right
before you guess
so he says one name Sarah
now we go to Sarah and she already knows the name of the movie Right? For you to, before you guess? Okay. So he says one name, Sarah.
Now we go to Sarah, and she already knows the name of the movie.
God damn it.
But here's where it gets interesting, because how many negative names can she go?
Well, can't I say zero?
You can, yeah.
And then she can go negative one?
She can if she wants, yeah.
I can unthink things?
Yeah. Which means, like, if you go negative one, you have if she wants, yeah. I can unthink things? Yeah.
Which means if you go negative one, I wish that had happened on microphone.
That was so good.
Ah, shit, this sucks.
I just fucking blew my own doors off.
See what happens when you get cocky.
Yeah, if you say negative one,
you have to name the lead performer in the film
and the film's title.
I can do that, but I feel bad. Don performer in the film and the film's title. If you go negative two,
you have to... I can do that, but I feel bad.
Don't feel bad. He threw his mic down
when he did it. Negative one.
Okay, so she says negative one.
Finish him!
Sweep the leg!
Got a body
bag!
I'm sorry, Daniel! I'm sorry, man!
Ah! Because you couldn't get yourself
You don't want to be thrown out
Because of his mistakes
Yeah it's true I fucked up
So now we go to Brie
And you can either say name it
Or you can go negative two names
Which means you have to name the movie
Which we've already established what it might be
And you have to name the lead actor
And the next built person in this movie.
I didn't hear a word you said. I was too busy
thinking about, can I unthink things?
So do you want to go
negative names or do you want to make her do it? If you make her do it
you're probably going to lose.
Oh. Name it!
Oh, she wants to lose.
Oh wait
Do I want to?
No I want to win
Okay
I probably don't know what it is
But these two guys do
You heard what he said right?
Yeah
Okay so negative two
Okay
She has to know the lead performer
And then the next person
Oh in order?
In order of the movie
That he already yelled out the name
The title of
You don't think you can do that?
Yeah about that.
I could do negative one.
Sarah already did negative one.
You can't remember who was second building?
Can I do negative two plus one?
I don't know what that is.
Sam likes it, though.
Negative two plus one is negative one.
Yeah, I think it's just an unfortunate strategy of this game.
You sort of got stuck in a bad place.
I feel like I'm going to lose either way.
Yeah.
Because I feel like my second choice would be like Orlando Bloom or something.
And I'm pretty sure he's not in that movie.
I'm not saying one way or the other if it's Orlando Bloom, but...
Just name it.
Okay.
I mean, the love guru
Mike Myers
incorrect
it would have been great
if that was wrong
yeah
yeah that's correct
god damn it
I'm sorry
no it was my fault
yeah you fucked it up
you fucked it up for Brie
yeah you're still in it
I'm sorry Brie
yeah
Brie Larson everybody
thank you Brie
I'm sorry
Brie you did a great. Thank you, Brie. I'm sorry.
Brie, you did a great job.
Any parting words?
Thank you.
Who was second build, Doug?
Just for the listeners at home.
What?
Who was second build?
Oh, Jessica Alba.
Yeah.
Didn't even have to look.
What are you talking about?
Just for the listeners at home.
They'd be curious. Who do you think is third build, Sam?
I know.
I think I know.
Rob Hubel?
Is it Romany Malco? It's probably Justin Timberlake.
Justin Timberlake. Yeah, yeah. Timberlake,
Romany Malcolm. All right.
Thanks, Bree. You can leave now. Joel McHale?
I'm sorry, Bree. Thank you.
It was my fault.
You don't have to leave, leave. You can hang
out. I'm just saying that...
Well, you said it twice. I know.
No, I'm just... That's why
I'm saying you don't have to, you know...
You can hang around.
I didn't want you to take it too seriously.
Yeah, it's not fuck off.
It's goodbye for now.
Could you stay where you were
by any chance? Is that true? Yeah, because we've got to keep
the order the same. It'll still work.
I just... That chair was killing me.
No, we're good. I'll just sit in the back row all by myself.
We're good.
I just thought the order got changed
but it didn't. We're good.
Alright, so now we go to Sam.
What did you want
to happen just there?
Were you going to show off and go negative three?
I was not, sir.
I could only have gone as far as my thoughts.
You would have made you would have made
breed name it I would have her fate was sealed when Chris Hardwick fucked everything up it was
Halloween co-written by Donald Pleasance all right Sam here's your category yeah at Josh Cantor
K-A-N-T-O-R suggested too long for Len. These are films that Leonard Mullen thought were too long.
That's like every movie.
He says that a lot, yes.
Yeah, Leonard gets tired after 60 minutes.
Yeah. The program.
Yeah, he watches that and he's too tired to see a long movie.
He's too tired to watch long movies, yeah.
Three stars from
Leonard for this movie from 2009.
He says about it that
it is too long.
He says it's thrilling at times.
Yeah, and then he also
says that it is
innovative.
So it's innovative, thrilling at times, but
too long. And there are
nine names.
Or ten names.
God damn it, Doug.
Yeah, ten names.
This changes everything.
How many do you think you can get it in, Sam Levine?
Sam the man?
I believe I can name that film in nine names.
Nine names, says Lil' Wolverine.
Wolverine.
Palm Strike goes straight to zero.
A lot of mic dropping, and I've been guilty of it too.
Yeah, what's with the mic dropping?
I'm wondering how these mics are all banged up.
Yeah, yeah.
He says zero names so you can go negative, Kate.
You can say negative one or two.
Or just say name it.
And he seems confident though.
Remember, Graham
does host the Comedy Film Nerds podcast.
Yeah, so he's
totally
into comedy. He's totally into
comedy and nerds. Film, not so much.
I'm
very stuck because I really don't know it at all
and you do and either way
I'm going to lose, so name it.
Avatar.
That's correct.
What the fuck?
Wow.
Wow.
Graham, it doesn't
work unless someone can see
your muscles underneath.
It doesn't work with a thermal.
Let's hear it for Kate Micucci, everybody.
Thank you so much, Kate.
That was really amazing, what
Graham just did.
She doesn't deserve this.
Bye, Kate.
Merry Christmas.
Oh my God. We just threw
Tiny Tim out
Into the street
While Graham
Flexed in front of her
Yeah
Suck on this muscle
Yeah
Here's some
Fucking porridge
Get up out of that chair
And walk you pussy
Yeah
Maybe you were
Like a little
Fucking bear
And you could walk
Do it
Hey
Can I just say
Something to Kylie?
Oh, did she get a message or something?
Yeah.
Shit.
Hold on one second.
Were you just looking through her whole thing?
I can't find the, where's the messages?
Oh, okay, yeah.
Annie Woods misses you.
Yeah, she did.
There's like five yous.
Write back something horrible like,
stop texting me, you stupid cunt.
Don't do that.
Fuck you and your family.
Are you texting back, really?
I'm just writing, who is this new phone?
Who is this new phone? Who is this new phone?
Alright.
We're back to you, Chris Hardwick.
Alright.
Your category is...
I've learned from my previous mistakes.
Your category is War on Christmas
and it was submitted by Muggle Mike.
Oh, not a wizard.
He didn't get the letter.
It was not submitted by Wizard Mike.
It was submitted by Muggle Mike.
Oh, we waited.
11th birthday.
No owl.
All right, I guess I'm Muggle Mike.
I had parked Wizard Mike on Twitter,
but I'm not going to need it now.
This is a movie that has either
War or Christmas in the title.
Or both if there was a movie
called War on Christmas.
Chris, the movie is from 1989.
Two and a half stars
from Mr. Leonard Maltin.
He says about this movie that
it has an odd
point of view
and wild camera angles
that are an
asset throughout
it's an asset to the movie that has such
wild camera angles
and there are
ten names my dad was talking about that has such wild camera angles and there are 10 names. The last time I heard the word wild,
my dad was talking about his favorite show, Arliss,
and he was like, that Arliss is so wild.
So I think of Arliss when I hear that.
Wild camera angles.
10 names.
It's got war, Christmas in the title,
two and a half stars, 1989.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Chris?
But it doesn't have to be a Christmas movie. It could be a Christmas movie or a war movie.
It's got the word war or Christmas in the title.
Probably not a lot of Christmas movies that have war in the title and vice versa.
Apocalypse Now could have been a Christmas movie. We don't know what the date was, really.
Now could have been December 25 movie. We don't know what the date was, really. Now could have been
December 25th.
Yeah, exactly.
That's probably why
they called it that
because of Apocalypse.
I love the smell
of eggnog in the morning.
Didn't you see
the smell
that eggnog smelled?
It smells like,
I don't know,
like Christmas.
I don't know.
Someday this holiday
is going to end.
Do you never saw
he got here late
but let's hear it for
Kevin Pollak everybody
someone
someone did that
there's a movie called
A Pack of Gifts Now
it's a short film
and someone did a
stop motion Rudolph
the Red Nosed Reindeer
slash Apocalypse Now
and Santa was
Marlon Brando's character.
It's really funny.
It's really funny.
I'm going to say ten names.
He says ten, Sarah.
I guess I'll try nine.
All right.
Sam?
I'm going to say eight.
Sarah's relieved.
Graham Elwood?
Don't listen to Chris.
Listen to Chris listen to Chris
seven
seven he says
Chris Hardwick
um
Shnikes
alright
well cause if I say six
and Sarah's gonna say
the name of that movie
and I don't know
what it is
you don't know me Chris
you're like a professional chess player.
I'm the
Bobby Fisher of Doug Loves Movies.
I'm going to go
play Doug Loves Movies against Big Blue
in Russia. That's a chess
computer.
He hosts a podcast called
The Nerdist, ladies and gentlemen.
It's glorious.
He's doing everything right. all right i'm gonna i'm
gonna just have graham name it he'll get it and then i'll be gone but i say name that movie grandma
how many names did you get seven wow 1989 this could go either way 1989 yeah crazy angles really
it's an asset the wild the wild camera angles and point of view and uh your
seven names are denitra vance dan castellaneta yeah diet of aids okay i think dan castellaneta
is still alive and still doing the voice of homer, but okay. Peter Donat.
Not donut.
Donat.
Not all fun facts are, you know.
G.D. Spradlin, also dead.
Not from AIDS.
Someone dying of AIDS is a fun fact.
Fun fact.
It's a fact.
It's just a fact.
It's just a fact.
Rob Custon died of AIDS.
The more you know.
Well, I like that one.
Heather Fairfield.
Oh, I know her. And then I realized.
Factoid.
Heather Fairfield, Sean Astin, and Marianne Sklaborvecht.
Sagebrecht.
Marianne Sagebrecht.
What do you think, Graham?
What do you think, Graham?
Palm strike!
Sorry.
You are my hero, Chris Hardwick.
It's got war or Christmas in it, the title what's gonna be Graham this is
like a night of people just being stumped on the answer if we had any
other than avatar and love guru I don't know, Hardwick.
You might get this, brother.
I'm going to say...
I'm bored.
War of the Roses.
What did you say?
War of the Roses.
That's correct, you son of a bitch!
Oh, shit!
You son of a bitch!
cordially invited to fuck yourself in the face.
And excellent work,
Graham Elwood. Excellent work.
Chris Hardwick, everybody! Chris Hardwick!
Hooray, Chris Hardwick!
Thank you, Chris.
Alright, sit down, Graham.
Alright, we start with Sarah, then we go to Sam, down, Graham. All right, we start with Sarah,
then we go to Sam, then to Graham.
Wow, now it's like molten game classic.
Yeah, this is really,
this is some of the best players ever.
Going head to head.
Wow, Purell up good and nice.
I could not have planned a more exciting finish.
He's Purelling it up over there.
Don't touch your dick with that.
Oh, no.
It's like the world is divided into two halves.
People that like when he does that and everyone else.
He's so funny, but I feel like he's the one of the four of us that would kill himself.
Yes, yes.
Really?
Yes?
But I would take other people out.
Yes.
I would totally kill you first.
He'd kill himself last.
All right, Sarah.
This category was submitted by Tim Loves Comedy.
And the category is...
That was going a different way.
The category is 999 and that's these
are films that take place in Germany
this film is from 2008 Leonard gives it two and a half stars he says that the movie is about a daring scheme and that it hits its stride about halfway through the proceedings.
And there are about 13 names here.
14.
I could be wrong, but I feel like I have to go.
14 names, yeah.
I'm going to say, and be totally wrong, I'm sure.
Well, actually, I'd be shocked if it got two and a half stars.
But don't blurt out the name.
Just bid.
I'm going to go zero.
All right.
But I'm probably wrong.
So now we go to Sam.
What's Sam going to do with this?
2008, two and a half stars.
2008.
Finally hits its stride about halfway through the proceedings.
What was the clues again?
Daring scheme hits its stride halfway through.
Two and a half stars.
2008.
Sarah says zero names. Okay okay well i'll say zero yeah
that's what you said i will let you have your moment of glory go ahead and i could be wrong
what's it called i don't even know how to say it that's right Sam Levine, everybody.
Sam Levine.
Boom shakalaka.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Boom.
Graham, let's bring this in.
Valparais.
Test, test.
Hey, hey, hey, goodbye. Valparais! Hey!
Goodbye!
There's no reason for that.
No whistling in the end zone.
Oh.
All right.
We start with Graham this time.
It's down to the two of you. Whoever wins tonight is going to have that final alternate slot
the next tournament of championships.
I know you're both very excited about that.
You'll probably get the call.
I've got a few names on there.
I've got a few names.
You'll probably get the call.
I'm talking to you.
Oh, sorry.
Who are you playing for again, Sarah?
Let's build that up. Pylee. Pyle talking to you. Oh, sorry. Who are you playing for again, Sarah? Let's build that up.
Hiley?
Hi.
Okay.
Hi.
And what's the name of your shoe guy, Graham?
George.
George, all right.
Princess Kyletta, UCB this week.
That's also from Annie Woods.
She misses her so much.
A lot.
Annie Woods sounds like she might turn into a problem.
Her name was Annie Woods.
Is she your roommate?
No.
Okay, good.
Sister?
Oh.
They haven't made one of those yet,
the Sister from Hell movie,
where your sister turns out to be crazy?
That Annie Woods is your sister,
and you put her first and last name on it.
That is weird. Why first and last name on it. That is weird.
Why first and last name?
I have a lot of family.
She has a lot of family.
I guess I have my sister's name.
Which Woods is this?
Oh, Annie Woods.
My sister.
Annie.
I know a lot of Annies.
Wait, what happened?
Where are we at?
We're going to play some more.
We're going to finish it up right here.
This is the final.
Let's just both take the victory
and hold hands into this time.
Graham and I decided we want to split it.
You can't.
There can only be one victor.
There can only be one.
Eh, eh.
And the 12 guests of Christmas.
But Sarah, the first eliminated last year,
and now all the way down to the final two.
You're going to remember this next year.
All right.
He gets mad at me for asking questions.
I don't get mad at you.
I'm just bemused by it.
And when I write back to you in a text,
it sounds like I'm yelling.
When I say, why the fuck don't you know how to play the game?
With five exclamations.
You played this last year.
Yeah, a year ago.
Yeah.
Okay.
This movie is, the category is called
It's a Punderful Life.
I know.
This is a movie that has a pun in the title.
It's from 2009.
Yeah.
And we're starting with Graham.
Two stars from Leonard.
He is not a fan.
I mean, two stars, that means it's fair.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
He comes out.
I mean, two stars, that means it's fair.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
Comes out.
He says dubious material gets elevated a few inches by filmmakers keen on going with the flow.
Yeah.
Whatever that means.
And he also says that it is a follow-up to the 2007 hit.
So there was a hit in 2007.
They made a follow-up in 2009.
There's a pun in the title.
And he also says that it's got dubious material.
It gets elevated a few inches by the filmmakers keen on going with the flow.
And there are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in,
Graham Elwood, for the second annual
Tournament of Champions?
I mean, 12 guests of Christmas.
I will go with 10.
Extravaganza.
He says 10 out of 13, Sarah.
So tension-filled. go with 10 extravaganza he says 10 out of 13 Sarah she says hmm that's both hands yeah both hands would be 10 he's taking 10 out of 13 Sarah 9
she says 9 out of 13
Graham
Graham on the tall stool
Sarah in a regular chair
Sarah Silverman
name that movie
I'm playing with Jesus
I'm the Tim Tebow of the Leonard Ball game
Alright so you get 10 out of 13 names I insulted myself I'm the Tim Tebow of the Leonard Ball game.
All right, so you get 10 out of 13 names.
I insulted myself.
All right, do you want the clues again, Sarah?
No, I get nine.
I wish I had ten. Oh, nine, sorry.
Nine, two stars from Leonard, 2009.
It's a follow-up to a 2007 hit.
Dubious material gets elevated by the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And your nine names are
Sean Astin, Christina Applegate, Anna Faris.
Slow the fuck down.
Nobody say anything.
Amy Poehler, Jesse McCartney,
Matthew Gray Goobler,
Justin Long,
Catherine Houston,
Angela Johnson,
and Wendy Malick.
Nobody's saying it.
It's from 2009?
Mm-hmm.
That was Brian Poseid
is very angry at this.
God damn it.
And I fucked up
and gave you 10 names.
I gave you 10 names.
Brian's so mad.
What's the theme?
The theme is It's a Ponderful Life.
The title is a part.
Oh, you gave her an extra name.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Fuck, I hate knowing that there's people all around me
that are bursting at the seams knowing it.
And I'm like, Wendy Malek.
Ain't a big part she must have played
like the person like this
in a comedy
she was like
oh
I never
I'm gonna
it sounds like
A pun name means
It's like
Jennifer Lopez
Or
Like a
What?
What?
What does Jennifer Lopez
Have to do with puns?
You know cause it's like
Made to order
That kind of thing
Oh
Made in Manhattan
You're thinking of
Oh yeah
Yeah
That's a ponderful title for sure,
but that's not the right answer.
2009, two years ago.
Give or take.
Dubious script elevated by the cast.
She pulls them out of nowhere, Graham,
so it's not sealed up yet.
Yeah, which is giving you an hour.
I'm sorry.
Graham, you win.
You're getting hit.
I don't know what that is.
From Brian Posehn, apparently.
It's going to blow me.
No, that guy's near Brian.
You said it, dude.
That wasn't Brian that said he was going to give you head.
But that is a weird thing.
I'm going to drape my balls in your big zombie chin, Brian.
Sean Astin.
Christina Applegate.
Who's in It Doesn't Matter?
Huh?
It Doesn't Matter.
What do you mean It Doesn't Matter?
You either know it or you don't.
It's one of those
kind of things.
I think we're...
Why would she even know
who was in it?
Hold on.
Let me think about this.
Which is a clue
in and of itself.
Men don't leave!
That was what I guessed
I didn't know
the last time.
Yeah, she yelled
men don't leave
finally at the last moment.
I forgot about that.
Okay, we can only give you ten more minutes to think about it.
Who is the name before Wendy Malick?
Come on.
The name before Wendy Malick was Angela Johnson.
Stand-up comedian.
I know.
See how it's like... Who was it before that?
Catherine
Justin, who I believe played
Mrs. Hackenshmackle on
The West Wing. Oh, right, right, right, right, right.
Any other clues? What was her name?
Havershot?
I feel like it's one
of those parody movies.
It's one of those what? Par I feel like it's one of those what?
Parody movies.
No, not really.
He gave me a clue.
He gave me a clue.
Who gave him a clue?
Who are you playing for?
Let's get her down here so she can name a shit. I hate this.
I feel like I'm letting her down.
It's a follow-up movie.
Follow-up.
Shut up with the fucking clean-killing out.
This is goddamn unbelievable.
I know, but get him to the Greek.
Get him to the Greek is incorrect.
Here, write down who you want me to call a shithead.
Just anywhere on there.
She gets the name of shithead
because you made it all the way to second place.
The movie is called
Alvin and the Chipmunks the squeak wall
and Brian will say it's so mad because he knew it because he took his kid to see it so he totally
knew what it was David Cross is up there yeah he's in the very top it's Jason Lee David Cross is up there, yeah. He's in the very top.
It's Jason Lee, David Cross, and then Zachary Levi was, I guess, in that one.
So let's hear it for Sarah Silverman, everybody.
Thanks, Sarah.
Thank you.
And there he is.
One man with three shoes.
Yeah!
Victory! It takes one man with three... Yeah! Victory!
It takes one man and three shoes to become a champion.
And he did it tonight.
Come get your box of shit, sir.
Congratulations.
Give George a big round of applause.
He got this whole box of shit.
He wore a shirt that I have on my CD and the shoes that I wear.
And Dockers.
Can I just make one request?ckers we have to make a request
cargo pants can Kylie still have my shoes because I feel like they're not
gonna fit him and they'll just end up getting filled with a bad idea do you
mind do you mind giving up the shoes all right so take the shoes out of the
give-and-give give them to Kylie what What a great Christmas.
Everybody wins.
It's the spirit of giving, you guys.
Two Shoes for Kylie is a new Christmas classic.
And I'm glad we saved those
shoes from being cummed in.
Which is what Sarah assumed would happen.
I fucked them before the show.
You got anything you want to plug, Graham?
Because you won everything.
Yeah, just my podcast, Comedy Film Nerds.
Listen to it.
Yeah.
Put your kitten hands together.
People love it.
And you'll, of course, be, you know,
you've got that last alternate spot
in the next tournament of championships,
which is exciting, because Graham hasn't been in one of the tournaments yet,
and he certainly deserves to be.
He's a good player.
We play when we're out on the road against audience members.
And I want to thank everybody for coming tonight.
You guys are so great.
Thank you guys so much.
I want to thank all of my 12 guests of Christmas who were Allison Haislip Brie Larson, Scott Aukerman
Ricky Leno, Mark Maron
Sam Levine
Sam the Man Levine
Sarah Silverman
Brian Posey
Chris Hardwick, Jimmy Pardo
Kate Micucci
and our winner
Graham Elwood
and yeah let's hear it for him.
And as always,
Brendan Fraser is a shit.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes uphold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies