Doug Loves Movies - Sarah Silverman, Leonard Maltin, Owen Benjamin and Esther Povitsky guest
Episode Date: September 21, 2015Live from the L.A. Podcast Festival, Doug welcomes Sarah Silverman, Leonard Maltin, Owen Benjamin and Esther Povitsky to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Califor...nia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is the Boss Movies
Coming to you once again.
My ears, my bleeding ears.
Coming to you once again from L.A. Podfest.
This time at the Sofitel Hotel.
Where they have free Wi-Fi.
And this year also, we are live streaming,
thanks to our friends at Audible.
Yeah.
You guys who listen to podcasts all the time,
you haven't heard enough about Audible, I bet.
You haven't gotten an earful about Audible.
It's Friday, September 18, 2015,
and I assume some of you podfesters
brought some name tags?
Traveled with name tags.
Giant killer Tom Ato.
Do we need him to put that down so the cameras can see what's going on?
That'd be great if your name tag
Just completely blocked the shot
But throw it up there again
When I ask for name tags
Because if that doesn't get picked
I would be hella shocked
Slevin instead of Stephen?
Okay, and instead of Seven?
Slevin.
Cat in the Hat?
Your name's Cat?
Catherine.
Think for Matilda?
What does that say?
Think like Amanda. Where'd I get Matilda? What does that say? Think like Amanda.
Think like Amanda.
Where'd I get Matilda?
I get it now, yeah.
My face is on there.
That's nice.
Godzilla versus Dug-a-Long.
That's a very, that's a magical one.
Here, step up on the stage and show the,
so it gets on camera.
We're live streaming this shit.
Look at that. Everyone watching at home, and show the, so it gets on camera. We're live streaming this shit.
Look at that.
Everyone watching at home, that's what you should do.
Big, artful, creative.
Yeah, take control.
Take control of your name tags.
Put your name on your name tags.
That's the thing that drives me crazy is when someone just holds up some random item,
thinks it's a name tag.
Dugsters versus what?
Halions?
I can't see it.
It's at the bottom, right?
Oh, no, it's in that.
Oh, look at that.
That lettering is like just fades into the background, but good job. It sounded like I was insulting her work, but
I don't think she chose that color. What does this shirt say? Diana Hard?
And now I have a name tag. Ho, ho, ho.
I can't think of a crowd.
Only a Douglas Movies crowd
would get there that fast.
I guess it helps
that you're wearing a Santa hat, too.
Yeah, yeah. Good job.
That's a nice one. And then I'm sure
a lot of you didn't bring name tags because you have, you know,
you had to check luggage and whatnot.
So, but i appreciate that
here's a classic from uh that i learned in stand-up comedy
i forget who i stole that from but
i didn't come up with it,
but I think of it every time a mic stand does that.
Who traveled the farthest to be here tonight?
Nashville?
Get out of here.
Somebody said Valencia.
I've been to Magic Mountain a lot That's a short Short ass
Australia
Where's Australia?
What?
You said it but it's not you?
Oh this guy
Wow what do you do?
You're here filming a documentary
About podcasting?
Okay good
I was going to say,
we've already got a podcasting documentary
that's debuting at this very festival.
Yeah, later tonight.
I guess that part's not going to be live-streamed.
I'm not going to just live-stream the movie.
That would really hurt its potential for future revenue.
All right, so Australia, you listen to Doug Loves Movies?
Okay, and do you ever say to yourself,
I've got a great name for Last Man Stanton that they never use?
You never say that to yourself?
All right, where's Valencia?
What about Valencia?
Orange, you glad I didn't say Nashville?
So Valencia,
do you have one?
A good name for Last Man Stanton?
Everybody else died.
Okay, I don't know what's happening there.
That's like that guy I saw
at Chronicon where I asked the guy
to name one of his favorite movies and he goes
something in which you and I
partake in some
smoking and I'm standing there like what the
fuck are you talking about?
Just name a movie. How hard could it be?
Alright, this guy right here. Don't say
who it is. I'm just trying to find
somebody. You're from Virginia and you've got
a perfect name for Last Man's Ten.
So I'll get back to you later if I remember.
If I remember to.
Next week I'm off to Austin, Texas for
Fantastic Festus.
If you have a festival badge, be sure
to come to Douglas Movies
on Friday afternoon, September 25th.
My movie interruption of Roar on Wednesday night,
September 30th.
Amazing movie if you ever get a chance.
And later that night,
a midnight screening of Chronicon,
all happening at fantasticfest.com
because there's still tickets.
And I've got stand-up shows coming up in Buffalo,
New Orleans, Cincinnati, and more,
according to this piece of paper.
Douglovesmovies.com.
That's Douglovesmovies.com.
And according to Douglovesmovieshistorian
underscore J underscore lay underscore on Twitter,
I told him he's got to get a catchier name than that.
According to that gentleman, today, to this day, is the nine-year anniversary of Doug Loves Movies.
Yeah.
Did not plan it that way.
Just happened to be doing a show that night.
So, you know, worked out pretty good.
Here's to nine more years.
Yeah.
And if there's not enough Doug Loves Movies lately,
because we've been doing supersized episodes almost always.
Don't forget about Doug Loves Minis,
which is just me mostly,
but includes when we play games at the stand-up shows,
because people at stand-up shows don't know
that they should bring a name tag.
They think, well, it's just Doug doing stand-up.
Why bring a name tag?
And then the people that bring name tags,
we play a game and we have a lot of fun.
So bring a fucking name tag. We play a game and we have a lot of fun. bring a fucking name tag.
Prize bag.
Had to put a schmovie in there.
Had to get
schmovie on camera.
Give them a great plug
for sending me boxes and boxes
of schmovies.
Also, my friends at Chameleon Glass
are always sending me fun stuff,
and this seemed like something you could fly home with
if we were going back to Australia or something.
It's like a, you know, it's a weed tray.
Here's something I found.
I'm going to try to give away almost everything I own
in the next couple of months,
because I'm moving, and I don't want to going to try to give away almost everything I own in the next couple of months because I'm moving
and I don't want to have to move everything.
So this is something TBS
gave me at some point. It says
instant funny on it and then you
pull that up and it's like a Polaroid
camera. Yeah.
I don't know what the point would be of
having one of those
at this point and now I can't put
the thing back on let's
move on to a copy of Moonrise Kingdom
two of my most recent albums gateway Doug to and promotional tool and a screener DVD of the film Cutie and the Boxer.
It's all right.
This thing, you can put your weed in it,
but it's also, at the same time, it's also a grinder.
Yeah.
Yeah.
same time it's also a grinder yeah i i've just realized i'm gonna probably be uh hanging out in some of your rooms this weekend oh it's such a so much in this prize bag i can't believe it
oh and a uh i'm excited about this a t-shirt that a young man made that I'm regifting.
But mostly just to get a plug in.
Because October 21st, 2015
is about to happen.
I encourage you to
watch Back to the Future Part 2
in some way on that day.
And if you're in the San francisco bay area of california
oh look there's a back to future poster uh if you're there uh on this on that particular exact
date i'm going to be doing events and movie interruption of back to future two at the big
huge beautiful castro theater with uh awesome special guests. So, like I said,
come to that and
stay for this, you guys.
As long as you're here,
I think you're going to have a good
time. And is it me or is there
like plenty more room
on this stage? All the chairs are as
close together
as they could possibly be.
It might be to get everybody in the shot
for the live stream,
so I'm not going to mess with it.
And it'll be interesting to just see people
getting this close together.
And since we're live streaming,
I decided to put together a sexy panel.
Yeah.
I mean, not like Magic Mike sexy.
Not Jada Pinkett Smith.
Please welcome Esther Bavitsky, Owen Benjamin, Leonard Maltin, and Sarah Silverman. Thank you. I'm not a fan of these chairs.
These chairs are crazy.
They just seem spring-loaded to get you off of them.
I feel terrible, but I hate them.
I hate them.
I'm not really happy with them either.
Mine's turning me...
Mine's making me kiss Owen.
What do you mean they're backwards?
Do you want to switch?
Doug has it too.
I got one drop.
What guy?
These are just from the bar downstairs,
but if you were sitting on these,
you could use the bar to not fall off of them.
Wait a minute.
They're right.
The tops have been put on to the...
Anyway, keep going with the show.
Okay, we'll keep going.
I love the cinema,
especially some of the French films from the 60s.
What are you going to do?
It's like you're talking to teens. Yeah! Oh, are you going to do?
Oh, she's going to Fonzie it?
Oh, we got a spilled Coke. Oh, Leonard.
Help her out there, Owen.
I spilled Coke all over Leonard's area.
It's only trickling into my ear Oh god thank god
Famed film critic electrocuted
At pod festival
Just so they spell the name right
Let's meet everybody
Let's start with our first timer
Esther Povitsky's here
Everybody
She's only little
She doesn't know
A.K.A. Little Esther
Hi
Of the Weird Adults Podcast
Yes
Yeah
And about to embark
on an exciting
international tour
of Australia
and New Zealand.
Yeah.
Next week.
Let me ask
the Australian guy,
which is better,
Australia or New Zealand?
No, when you're
in New Zealand,
just be like,
I love Australia.
Yeah, they love that.
And then just call it
Australia and then...
Okay. They do. They love it. Australia yeah they love that Australia and then okay she fell for it
wait I heard New Zealand is like um is like America's Canada oh I heard that
too wait we're in Australia is Australian Prince of Persia?
Where are you from?
Gold Coast.
Am I going there?
What's it called?
You said it's something coast?
Gold Coast.
Gold Coast?
Yeah.
What's the major city though?
Brisbane.
Okay, yeah, I'm going. Brisbane.
That's cool, man.
Just going to Brisbane.
Is there a Zealand?
Is there like an old Zealand?
Am I going to get eaten alive by spiders? Okay, man. Is there a Zealand? Is there like an old Zealand? Am I going to get eaten alive by spiders?
Okay, cool.
We'll be back with more of Ask an Australian.
I know how to say toes in Australian.
They have a different word for it?
Ties.
Really?
He says no.
No?
No.
I owe you.
I owe you.
That's Sarah Silverman, everybody.
Let's hear it for her.
Fresh from the Toronto International Film Festival, TIFF.
And how was your film received?
I smile back.
I think great, but to me, everyone says great job.
They're not going to say like, yeah, it was hot and cold on it.
So I know that I'm seeing only a certain amount of geek.
But there's got to be some buzz.
But it was fun and it seemed good.
Yeah.
Nice.
When can people see it?
October 23rd.
If you're in one of the ten cities it starts in.
And it might be more.
So what are the ten?
Brisbane?
Brisbane.
Gold Coast.
Raymond,
New Hampshire. It's all up and down the Gold Coast.
It's a moving screen.
They just, the whole coast.
And that's Owen Benjamin, everybody.
Hello.
Hey, guys.
Tall and handsome. Have you seen that South Park
When Randy bounces on his own balls
Like I feel like I'm bouncing on balls
Yeah
I always call Owen because you know
This panel clearly needs a touch of class
South Park references Are pretty sweet you know, this panel clearly needs a touch of class.
South Park references are pretty
sweet.
Yeah, and you were on the,
sadly, the first time you were on the program, we were
doing it in Tampa, Florida,
and there was a
power surge.
The power went out in the club,
and they lost a big chunk of the show
in the recording process.
So this will be your first full, real episode.
I shouldn't have made eye contact with that microphone. I'm sorry.
Wait, what happened?
That's a really stupid joke.
I was trying to say that the power of my eyes surged this system.
It's insanely stupid.
Those are the best jokes.
You do have tremendous eye power, though.
You really do.
And thank you for trying again.
Yeah, thanks, man.
I think we're live streaming to the world right now.
Are we really?
If I'm not mistaken.
Nice.
I think that's how it's supposed to be working,
but I don't think they'd hold up a sign that says,
Doug, the world's not seeing this,
if there was a problem.
But, because we also can't,
you know, there's so much stuff going on here at the
festival this weekend. The shows are jammed in
tight, so we can't
stop for a
technical problem. We just have to keep going.
We just have to turn our chairs around
and just do it.
Make do.
Make it happen.
And Leonard Maltin is here!
Yes, the godfather of Doug Loves Movies.
That Sarah and I,
the amount of time we spent
fiddling around, flipping through the guide,
the Leonard Maltin movie guide,
and playing what was then
our first version of the Leonard Maltin game,
that we sat around and did that
to think that someday we would be playing it with you
on stage in front of a bunch of weirdos
and the internet.
Those people are normal. and a totally cool internet yeah we would have died we would have never believed it yeah it's really crazy that
this happened and we appreciate crazy for me too well yeah because uh now you got a bunch of young
people saying weird things to you mostly nice things yeah. Yeah, but you know what I mean? It's probably surprising sometimes.
No, it's surprising in a nice way.
I mean, wherever I go,
people seem to say,
oh, I love you on Doug Loves Movies.
I mean, that's my calling card
to a lot of people.
So I'm thrilled.
I'm delighted.
And I will say that my career
did take a different kind of a turn
and it got a different kind of a turn,
and it got a different kind of spike two days ago when I was approached out of the blue on the sidewalk at LAX by TMZ.
I did hear. Somebody did tell me you were on TMZ.
I've just been dropped off at the curb at Delta Airlines,
and these two guys, I think they shoot two cameras
this guy says
Mr. Moulton can I talk to you about
whether you think Straight Outta Compton is going to be
awards material, is it going to be an Oscar
Oscar worthy film
okay I'll talk to you, I mean he says he's with TMZ
you can't afford to be rude to
anybody now, and your answer was yes
it's a terrific film It's a terrific film.
It's a terrific film. And I told him
it was one of the best films I'd seen this year,
which is true.
And then he asked me if I thought that Fantastic
Four was going to be the chief contender at the
Razzies.
By all accounts, it's the worst.
I did not see it.
I heard about it. I heard
people were disappointed and disliked it. But I said, you know, there are a lot of crappy movies every year. I don't see it. I heard about it. I heard people were disappointed and disliked it.
But I said, you know, there are a lot of crappy movies every year.
I don't see how, you know.
Yeah, don't get so hurt about it.
There's no reason to be sad.
So it must have been a very slow news day, even at TMZ, because this got posted.
No, that's terrific.
That's the kind of spontaneous publicity that makes people. Oh, well, yes. No, that's terrific. That's the kind of spontaneous publicity
that makes people.
Oh, well, yes.
Yes, indeed.
I mean, where do I go from there?
Well, I come here is where I go from there.
This is it.
And people can join you
in one of the spaces here
at the Sofitel Hotel for Malton on Movies.
That is correct.
Live on Sunday.
Sunday afternoon at 4,
Baron Vaughn and I will be doing our podcast
right here, and looking forward to it.
Yeah.
And I hope people will give it a try.
If you haven't heard Malton on Movies,
we're on Wolf Pop, and we're available on iTunes,
and I hope you'll listen.
Nice.
Nice.
It says here, I can't wait for you to play Reverse Malton
That's going to be exciting
But let's start with Owen and really quickly
Just go down the line
Have you seen any movies lately?
Either in a theater or at home?
I saw that Z for Zachariah movie
Really? Tell us about that.
It was pretty intense.
It was one lady
and two dudes and shit got weird.
I still feel like I know
nothing about it.
Post-apocalypse,
three total people.
And that's it, man.
Interesting. Have you seen that one, Leonard?
I have not. Have you that's it, man. Interesting. Have you seen that one, Leonard? I have not.
Okay.
Have you heard of it?
Yes.
Okay.
That's all I got, but yes.
You liked it?
Yeah, the acting was awesome,
but I mean, there's three total people in the entire movie.
Are they actors we'd know?
Yeah, that one dude who was in a lot of shit.
That will not qualify as an answer later in the show. we'd know? Uh, yeah. That one dude who was in a lot of shit. And, uh...
That will not qualify
as an answer
later in the show.
Drawing a blank.
I get a lot more strict.
All right, that's okay.
He's black.
Oh, he's good.
Yeah.
I try to see
all of his films.
Is it David Oloyelio?
Maybe.
Who is it?
Oh, the black guy's Chris Pine?
Chiwetel.
Chiwetel Ejiofor.
Yeah, that's why I didn't remember it.
Because I don't understand how those letters work.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a tough one.
Who is the lady?
You just have to hear it a couple times.
Margot Robbie.
I'm in.
That's interesting.
That's three good actors.
Yeah, you nailed it.
What about you, Esther?
Have you been to the cinema?
The last movie I saw at the cinema was End of the Tour,
which is so long ago.
I heard that was good.
It was a good movie.
It was good. I think it just came out. Yeah. Did it? A few weeks. It was so long ago. I heard that was good. It was a good movie.
I thought the first came out.
Yeah.
Did it?
A few weeks.
It's been a few months.
It's supposed to be great, right?
It was really good.
You're crazy.
But I really want to see
the visit.
Am I naive?
No, it looks great.
It looks so...
Would you mind
cleaning the oven
from inside?
Something like that, right?
Yeah, I don't know.
With those kind of horror movies,
you can make a really scary, cool-looking trailer,
but then there's 10 minutes of somebody looking for a cat.
Did you see it?
I haven't seen it, no.
I'm thinking about stopping, no. No.
I'm thinking about stopping by for the visit.
I think I'm the only person who still thinks M. Night Shyamalan is good.
Yeah, it is a Shyamalan.
That's another thing you should be wary of.
But everybody says it's the best Shyamalan since Unbreakable.
I liked Unbreakable. That's what I'm saying. That was the last good Shyamalan since Unbreakable. I liked Unbreakable.
That's what I'm saying.
That was the last good Shyamalan.
You said it like it was a joke.
It was kind of.
I skipped over Signs,
which some people like that movie.
I don't care for it.
It was scary.
Yeah, I was scared.
I'm scared by corn.
Corn scares me like just any cornfield yeah like anything coming out of a cornfield yeah he cowers in field of dreams i yeah
like when they're coming out of the corn i'm like jesus ray leona comes out of the corn and
he's always seems like a psycho killer no matter who he's playing. Yeah. When he laughs hehehehe.
It's terrifying.
What about you Sarah?
Oh I. Movies?
I went to see The Gift.
Oh yes. I saw
a trailer for it.
When I went to see Amy that was the movie
I saw before that which was very good.
Now that film's called Trainwreck.
And I saw no.
The other one, the documentary
about... Yes, Trainwreck,
the documentary
about Amy. Oh, I
get it.
I saw it, but when I went to see that
documentary, I saw the trailer for The Gift
and I was like, that's my
kind of movie. And then it came out
and I went to see it and it was.
I just,
it's fun. The last movie
that I saw that I said that's my kind
of movie and I went to see it and it was
was Limitless.
And I love that movie.
A movie about a pill where you
can use your whole brain?
It's called Adderall.
Yeah, it is.
But this one delivered on what I wanted from it completely.
Good time?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Scary nerd from the past.
Yeah, that's not good.
And there's like, it's,
you know, it's good.
It's not, like my boyfriend's like,
you could, the trailer tells you the whole thing.
And then I went to see it.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Trailer doesn't tell you the whole thing.
He was guessing that it tells you the whole thing.
Gordo the weirdo.
I love that it doesn't rhyme it's just it's like it
rhyme adjacent we called him Gordo the weirdo Sarah I worry that you're
encouraging people to just start chatting with us
Shh.
That's what they should have... Somebody at the debate should have went,
Shh, we're in a library.
I mean, and Sarah's
shh is extremely relaxing.
Like, when you just did that, I literally was like,
Ah, shh, shh, shh.
It's so rude to do to people while they're talking, though.
It gets addictive. It's like if someone
gives you a bell or a horn,
you can't not do it.
Air horns are the best.
Leonard?
Yes, Doug?
You know, maybe you've seen a film or two recently.
Well, Black Mass.
Oh, just today or yesterday?
That's awesome.
I saw it a little while ago.
It just opened today.
Johnny Depp.
Joel Edgerton, who not only is in, but directed The Gift and wrote it, I think.
Yes.
And he has spent, this is an actor's field day.
Johnny Depp, Joel Edgerton, Benedict Cumberbatch, Kevin Bacon, everybody in it is on top of their game.
Or at the top of their game.
Dakota Johnson.
And one pretty girl.
There are no weak links. It does not pass the Bechdel test
even remotely
it does, there's not another woman in it for her to talk about men
but I heard it's amazing, sorry
no, no, it's really good
and I'd seen the documentary
Joe Berlinger's documentary about Whitey Bulger
came out last year I think and I was worried that having seen the documentary, Joe Berlinger's documentary about Whitey Bulger. It came out last year, I think.
And I was worried that having seen this documentary, I'd be comparing.
And you're just watching him go through the same steps.
No, I got pulled into this movie completely.
And things they could only talk about in the documentary, they dramatize.
They show you.
They take you inside, behind the closed door, so you can see what really was going on.
And it's pretty compelling stuff.
I'm in.
I'm in, Leonard.
And they all do these Boston accents,
these impeccable Boston accents.
We've got one Aussie, one Brit.
Unbelievable.
And they're great.
I have a terrible Boston accent, and I'm from Boston.
I don't think I could do it in a movie.
I saw Everest.
Oh, how's that?
I went because it was there.
That was
done.
Whoa.
Stop booing it, my friend!
That was a great show!
I set it up, and you batted it out of the park.
There you go.
that out of the park. There you go.
It's just one of those like, it's just, the whole movie
is just like, oh, they're cold and they're
up high and they might die.
Like, it's just, the whole thing is just like,
oh, why, and they all just volunteer.
They all do it on purpose.
It's not like a movie where a bad guy takes a gun
and makes people go up a hill.
It is...
It is real life people.
It's...
You know the Englishman
who went up a hill and came down a mountain?
No.
It's...
I want to see Hateful Eight so bad.
I've already decided
exactly what's going to happen in that movie,
and I'm sure it's not, but I'm still excited
that it might be right.
I hope you are. I hope it's good.
Are you guys pumped about The Martian?
You think that's going to be good?
I read the book. The book's phenomenal, but it's
just a lot of engineering problem solving.
I want to know how that's going to
go on the screen. The only Martian I
want to see in a feature film is named Marvin.
I declare this planet in the name of me.
Oh, isn't that lovely?
I think the Mel Blanc voices
and the Jim Henson voices all just sound off
since they died.
Well, you're not wrong.
Isn't it weird? But I think the new Muppets show
looks good. Yeah, it does.
Sarah was in a Muppets movie.
Yeah.
I played a waitress.
I said take over two.
What's the matter? You want your Coke?
Oh, look at that.
You got an interesting roadie. What's the matter? You want your Coke? Oh, look at that. Thank you, Mama.
You got an interesting roadie.
Thank you.
Ladies doing it for themselves.
And each other.
Yeah, right?
Okay, so that ends that portion of the show.
Trivia question.
Trivia question.
Sure, please.
Pop quiz,
Hopshot.
Okay.
Who is the one
major
Warner Brothers
Looney Tunes
starring character
not voiced
by Mel Blanc?
Fosco.
Elmer Fudd.
Elmer Fudd,
there you go.
I think it was supposed
to be just a question
for me,
first of all.
I was posing
for Doug, actually.
I'm going to say
Elmer Fudd.
How did you know?
That's fantastic.
But yeah,
just in case you guys forgot
or maybe got drunk
at the pre-party,
most of the games
are just between us
up here on stage.
So don't yell out.
Yeah, fuck faces.
Even if it's...
You don't know what I deal with, Sarah They usually don't yell out stuff
In the LA shows
LA crowds
But there's a bunch of people here
From all over the place
Let's say this
What does that mean, Amy Adams?
That's where this is all coming from
Some lady yelled out Amy Adams
And I lost my mind
When? On another show?
Hang on, it's still not out of the courts
So I can't really talk about it
Your crowd always usually knows better
No, it was funny But but people keep bringing it up.
You know, it's like yelling for Freebird at a concert.
It's hilarious every time.
Let the games begin!
Ladies and gentlemen, please select your name tags.
Go grab a name tag.
So elaborate.
Or ask them to bring it to you if you'd like.
And while they do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
We will be right back.
Hey, everybody.
Just wanted to remind you once again that today's sponsor and also the sponsor of the entire L.A. Podfest is audible.com.
The place with more than 180,000 audio books and spoken word audio products.
And you can get a free audio book and a 30-day trial today by signing up at www.audiblepodcast.com.
Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
Sarah's having second thoughts.
I forgot that there's food attached to some of these. Some do have food,
yeah. I'm always so hungry when I come here.
Do you want it anymore? No, I made
my choice.
Do you like donut holes?
Here's the thing. I appreciate this
so much, but
your hands,
it's been open before.
Donuts have been taken out of it.
Fecal matter has been distributed,
and I just can't.
But I appreciate it
if you want to take these back.
Ugh, now it's my burden.
There you go, Doc.
Yeah, there's a target
on one side of that name tag, and we do have some donuts.
Yeah, yeah.
I was told probably it wasn't a good idea to do that here, because this is a very, very
nice ballroom that we're in.
We don't want to make a big mess.
So that's from the management, not from me.
Go outside.
Who are you playing for, Owen?
The killer tomato.
Tom Ato.
This looks awesome.
See, his name is Tom.
I love this thing.
I used to be a heckler at a renaissance fair.
I swear to God. And people at a renaissance fair I swear to god
and people threw tomatoes
in my face all day
and there was this sign
it looked just like this
and my head and arms
were out of it
it said tomato justice
and that was my high school job
I'd make fun of people
and they'd just gun
tomatoes at my face
and so you'd think
I'd hate tomatoes
but it's almost like
this weird fetish now
where I'm like
obsessed with tomatoes
like Batman can't believe somebody brought that name tag fetish now. I'm like obsessed with tomatoes. Like Batman.
Can't believe somebody brought
that name tag.
When you have such a rich tomato-filled
backstory.
It was a good connection.
Esther, who are you playing for?
Mac to the future.
Of course.
With your picture.
Yeah, people always put my face on those things. I wish it was my face. It's fun to see. with your picture.
Yeah, people always put my face on those things.
I wish it was my face. It's fun to see.
That's why I keep the guests a surprise.
They can't put your face on there.
Sneaky.
They should have known.
Good job.
There's probably a shithead on the back,
so make sure you don't read that out loud.
No.
There isn't?
Okay, then don't worry about it.
Sarah? I'm playing for
Kung Fu Panda.
Yeah, it's like a
lamp. Yeah.
It's like something from Pier 1 Imports.
Right. Lantern, yeah. Lantern, thank you.
We'll light a fire
under it later and watch it float up into the sky.
And then there's
a shithead written on the ears, I think.
Indeed. Good job. Leonard?
I'm playing for
Godzilla
versus Dug-a-Lon.
A very ingenious
poster mashup.
We highlighted that one earlier, so good job
picking that.
And I saw the shithead
on the back, so I kind of hope he loses.
I hope you lose.
I hope you lose tonight, Leonard, because it's a good shithead.
Well, if he picked me, he's going to lose.
So that's...
I don't know. You might tear it up and reverse
Malton. Oh, well, we'll see.
Yeah, we'll see what happens.
But let's start
with a game that
I just invented recently.
It's called Doug Loves Musicals.
Yeah.
Nice.
This will be the second installment of that game.
God, I hope I get it.
Put this on the floor behind you.
I hope I get it.
I'm going to start naming song titles
from a motion picture musical.
And you guys just guess
names until somebody
gets it right.
Panelists only.
We just yell out.
And I'm just
glad there isn't a movie musical called Amy Adams.
Yeah, just shout it or say it at any...
You've got a microphone.
You can use it.
What movie musical had these songs?
Ordinary Fool.
I'm Feeling Fine.
Tomorrow.
Annie!
What? No.
Annie does not have songs called Ordinary Fool.
Tomorrow, tomorrow.
And I'm feeling fine.
Shit.
Right, right, right.
It's a hard knock life.
I'm fine.
I feel fine. I feel fine.
Bad guys.
There's a song in this musical called
Bad Guys.
What's that story?
Down, no.
Down and out.
Bugsie Malone?
That is correct.
Whoa.
Very good.
Wow.
So you want to be a
boxer? My name is Tallulah,
which I thought would be the giveaway one.
And Fat Sands,
Grand Slam. And then the ultimate
giveaway song title from Bugsy Malone,
Bugsy Malone.
What was that?
Jodie Foster and Scott Baio?
Mm-hmm.
Amongst a bunch of other little kids
running around pretending to be adults, and they
killed each other with cream pies.
Whipped cream pies.
I just realized how terribly
outmatched I am in this game.
Really?
So you're a big fan of movie musicals with children in them?
No, I couldn't have referenced a Scott Baio musical.
It's not in my power.
I think you'll do better at this next game.
In fact, I think I've played this game with you once before.
It's called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
And Leonard gets to go first,
and we'll move down to you, Sarah.
These chairs are crazy.
And then...
I'm glad I'm not wearing corduroys.
I would not be able to stay up here.
I'll say a tagline from a movie
is probably something from the poster
or an advertisement.
And then Leonard gets to guess what movie it's from.
If he can't get it, then it's your chance to guess, Sarah,
and on down the line.
And I'll do a new one if somebody actually gets it right.
Leonard, everyone wants to be found. What movie had the tagline
everyone wants to be found?
Shush out there.
Shut up asshole. Sorry I get fired up. I thought maybe somebody farted.
Everyone wants to be fired.
That's what I say whenever I fart in public.
Shut up, asshole!
Do you got a guess?
No, I don't even have a guess.
Really? Not about something, you know,
like a movie that has like Lost in the title
or something?
That's not really the answer,
but... Oh, thank you. What a great
hint. Thank you very much.
I'm just saying found seems to be the key, but
we have other players. Sarah, do you have a guess?
I'm sure it's not this,
but I would guess Finding Nemo.
Nice.
Everyone wants to be found.
Especially children.
Esther?
Ocean's 13.
Always a hilarious guess.
And we'll finish it off with
Owen Benjamin. I'm going to guess
Cast Away. Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
That's a good guess. Yeah, yeah.
No, it's... What?
You can guess, but you don't win
by getting it right at this point.
There's something called Looking For something.
Oh, sure. Bobby Fischer?
Mr. Goodbar.
Alright, never mind. There's a bunch of looking for movies, but I did blow it.
I did actually say Lost out loud, and it is in the title,
but I covered it nicely.
It's called Lost in Translation.
Oh.
I was going to guess that, and I thought it's too obvious.
Yeah, well, it happens.
I thought that about Castaway, too.
I'm just kidding.
All right, we'll start with Leonard again.
We'll do a new one.
Sometimes a hero comes from the most unlikely place.
That could only be
two, three hundred different movies.
Sometimes a hero shows up
exactly when you know they're going to be there
and takes the route you know they're going to be there and takes the
route you thought they would plan.
Sometimes a hero from the most unlikely place.
Unlikely place.
Mm-hmm.
Nothing?
Good grief. No. Nothing?
Good grief.
No, nothing. It's not a Charlie Brown movie.
No, I know.
Coming up cold.
Sarah?
Sarah?
Finding Nemo?
Is it animated?
Esther.
Ricky and the Flash.
Nope. I think that one was just something like,
look out, here she is.
Look out for Ricky.
Something like that.
It's just like, ugh, what's she going to do?
She's a perfectly nice lady in that movie.
All right, Owen.
The Goonies.
That would be heroes.
One kind of stood out.
They all really pitched in.
The Goonie?
Yeah.
No, that was, interestingly enough,
the tagline for Sling Blade.
No, it's not.
Sling Blade.
That's why I kept going,
Mm-mm.
Sometimes, Doug,
your questions come from the most unlikely places.
That was a weird one.
All right, I'll give you a softball.
I'm going to throw Leonard a softball.
There's no such thing.
Right now.
What movie had the tagline,
Here They Grow Again?
What movie had the tagline, Here They Grow Again?
So this is a sequel.
Okay.
If you want to play it that way.
I'm just trying.
I'm clutching at straws here.
Here They Grow Again.
Here They Grow Again.
Here They Grow Again. Here they grow again.
I'm not trying to embarrass you.
No, it just turns out that way.
Yeah.
Nobody else on the panel is going to get it, that's for sure.
Here they grow again.
What's your guess, Sarah?
Well, it's Leonard's turn.
No, but go ahead and guess while he's singing.
Grown Ups 2?
No.
Nice.
Makes sense.
Thank you.
Why would they be?
The audience says yes.
The audience says I'm right.
That's a solid guess.
Why would they grow again?
Is it a boner joke?
Here they grow again.
Yeah.
Is there a sequel to Little Shop of Horrors?
No.
Something with cornfields in it that are horrifying?
No, I thought it might be a softball for you, Leonard,
because it's one of the only films...
Is it Gremlins 2?
Yes.
The new batch?
It's the biggest applause Gremlins 2 has ever gotten. Oh, shoot.
That's doubly embarrassing.
Thank you very much.
But at least you said the new batch.
You know the full title.
Yes, that much I can claim. Yeah. All right, you know, the full title.
Yes, that much I can claim, yeah.
All right, let's go down to Sarah to start off this next one.
Love is in the hair.
Love is in the hair.
Well, a few things come up.
Love is in the hair.
Love is in the hair. Love is in the hair. Come on.
Chatty's wearing out his welcome.
Love is in the hair.
Yeah. Can these be anything even documentaries?
I guess documentaries, if they have a poster, they have a tagline.
Is it Showa?
I'm kidding.
That's not even a good joke area anymore.
I'm going to say barbershop.
One of the barbershops.
Wouldn't that be funny if they just got around to naming them, just calling them one of the barbershops.
It's another barbershop.
No, incorrect.
Esther.
Rock of Ages.
Because it's a period thing
great guess
Hair was crazy then
incorrect
oh that was such a good one
we've gone through the musical portion of the show
I'm going to guess there's something about Mary
that's correct
because there was semen in the hair
I was in that movie Because there was semen in the hair.
I was in that movie.
Yeah, that's right.
I played a friend.
Yeah, you were one of her friends in that.
That's so funny.
Love is in the hair.
Yeah, you did a terrific job.
But yeah, love is in the hair.
Very clever tagline. Do you get it Leonard yes Doug I thought you might not remember that part of that movie all right so Owen got that one right
and Leonard got one right so let's just do one for just Owen and Leonard to determine a winner. All right. I'm about to not win.
We'll start with Leonard.
Don't be sure.
Start with Leonard.
Man is the warmest place to hide.
Man is the warmest place to hide.
Man is the warmest place to hide.
Man is the warmest place to hide.
Anything?
So, just again, so we're talking science fiction?
I love that you ask questions.
I'm just trying to narrow it down just a little.
Just a little.
Long time companion?
Man, is it the safest place to hide?
Warmest.
Warmest.
Oh, that changes everything.
Can I take a stab?
Leonard gets to go first.
Yeah, be stoned.
He's asking for a lot.
Do you have one, Leonard?
I'll just say something stupid.
Alien.
Yeah.
Not stupid at all.
It's wrong, though.
That, of course, had the classic one in space. No one can hear you scream. Yeah. Not stupid at all. It's wrong, though. That, of course, had the classic one in space,
no one can hear you scream.
Right.
But, Owen?
I'm going to guess Brokeback Mountain.
Listen, it seems...
No, it seems like an obvious hacky joke, but no.
They could have done a funny marketing angle on that.
Well, I hope that was worth losing because
I'm
giving the win to Leonard because he was closer
to the
correct answer.
No, it's the thing.
The thing
transforms into
people and then attacks more people.
Okay.
Yeah.
The word warm threw me.
I had another one for you, Sarah.
Yeah, if it was a tauntaun
is the warmest place to hide.
I'd know what that was.
Sarah, this is just for you.
What movie had
We Don't Need No Education?
The Wall!
No, School of Rock.
Oh.
That was just on.
It's so good.
It really is good, and they're making a Broadway
musical out of it. Oh my god.
I met a kid on
a bus that
was going to a
callback
to play the main character.
How do you think the angry
girlfriend song
she probably has a ballad in there
about how upset she is. How would that go?
This character is the
one bummer.
It'll probably be,
you know, there's always one song
that I don't know why they don't cut it.
It's like the, it must be like
so that the kids can rest or something.
In any musical that has kids in it,
there's one, like in Annie,
it's that one,
but something was missing.
I never know.
Who cares? Cut that song. I never met. Who cares?
Cut that song.
It's awful.
Am I still talking?
All right, where's that guy?
There he is.
Virginia.
He's going to give us a name in a second for Last Man Stanton,
which is, of course, the game where we take turns saying movies that the name he gives us is in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
You know that works.
I like to play along.
And since Leonard was at last game, he gets to start.
But we'll switch the order around.
It'll come around there to you, Owen, second.
Second, that's good.
Only one movie will have been...
Oh, I'll do it too, though.
So two movies will have been taken by that time.
All right, so what do you got, buddy?
Johnny Depp.
Johnny Depp, here we go.
That's a good one.
About two-thirds of the crowd
maybe is on board with that
A lot of people are like, we should have went to walk-in-the-room
They might not talk about Johnny Depp at all
But they'll probably get into it
Because mascara comes up a lot
They talk about eyeliner a lot in walk-in-the-room
All right, so Leonard, start us off with any movie with Johnny Depp in it up a lot. They talk about eyeliner a lot. I'm walking the room.
Alright,
so, Leonard, start us off with any movie with Johnny Depp in it.
Don Juan DeMarco.
Nice. Movie I like a lot.
Yeah, well, if we're going to play it that way,
I'm going to come out with my favorite
Johnny Depp film, which would be
Ed Wood.
Ed Wood I enjoy a great deal.
Owen, we're pretty much
handing it to you
on a platter.
I will go with Sleepy Hollow.
Oh, okay.
Esther?
Edward Scissorhands.
Ooh.
What's eating
Gilbert Grape?
I might have screwed that one up and said, who's eating Gilbert Grape? I might have screwed that one up
and said, who's eating Gilbert Grape?
Because grapes are delicious.
Leonard.
Crybaby.
Well, I wouldn't say I'm the best loser,
but you don't have to call me that.
Well, I wouldn't say I'm the best loser,
but you don't have to call me that.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Great one.
Owen?
Is it my turn?
Yeah.
Oh.
Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
How dare you?
What happened?
I'm going to give you... What the hell just happened?
I'm going to give you a second.
I'm going to give you a second
to think about what you've done.
There's another title?
Audience, please do not try to help him.
What?
Just think about what you said.
Before you continue to desecrate.
I'm getting wonk ashamed by some of these people.
No, unfortunately, I have to take the correct title,
and that is not a correct title of a Johnny Depp film.
Esther.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
That's correct.
I'm literally an idiot.
I'm an idiot.
What the hell am I talking about?
Wait, but if you didn't mess that up,
I would have been out because I couldn't think of another one.
So I'm a bigger idiot.
Why would I say Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?
That's the craziest thing.
Thank you.
I appreciate that
because I'm going through a hard time right now.
Sarah?
Benny and June.
That's one of those films where someone's
magically disabled.
You got one, Leonard?
Sweeney Todd.
Full title, please.
The Damon Barber of Fleet Street. Correct.
I can't believe you're yelling at Leonard Maltin
for full title.
You're as bad as Captain America,
who famously said to him during the Leonard Maltin game,
name it bitch.
And I wish Ultron had been out at that point
because then I would have gone, language!
Because that's his catchphrase.
Well, it's still laying out there on the table,
so I'm just going to grab it.
Just opened today, Black Mass.
And then we're back to Esther.
Pirates of the Caribbean.
Full title.
Oh, no.
It's bullshit.
The first movie shouldn't have a colon and then more words.
But it was kind of a sequel to a ride, I guess.
Do you know what the rest of it was called?
Pirates of the Caribbean.
Why are you doing that?
Say it.
See, Sarah, I cannot say it enough.
They still do it.
I just always thought your audience knew better,
and I was always impressed that they could contain themselves,
because people are always like,
they need people to know everything that they know.
But I was like, wow, this is a really cool audience,
but I guess I, no, they're not.
You got such a different approach to handling
that than I do.
I would have thought people would be
better than this.
I guess I'm disappointed.
Yeah.
But yeah, please don't yell out until I
ask for it, which is rarely.
But Esther,
you got the whole thing?
Not honestly.
You could steal from her.
I don't even know
what they said.
Pirates of the Caribbean, Black Mass?
That's what I heard.
That's a movie.
I hope that those two
film series
come together like that.
That would be...
I'd watch that.
A bunch of pirates with Bostonian accents.
That would be kind of fun.
Yeah, I'm in.
Alright, so she's out.
Sarah?
The Tourist.
Oh, yeah.
That pile of garbage. out. Sarah? The tourist. Oh, yeah.
That pile of garbage.
Doug says everything Leonard can't.
He says everything Leonard's thinking.
Remember that guy,
Henkel von Donischmark,
or whatever that crazy name was
at the film awards?
Yeah, yeah.
He got saddled with that movie
and then it turned out bad
and he's clearly a brilliant director
because his other movie was great.
You can talk in your mic.
Yes.
Yes.
What's his name though?
Florian von Henkel Donischmark.
Donischmark, yeah.
Yeah, she had a field day with that in her monologue
on the awards
Yeah, he made fun of it
The tallest director in the world
Is he really tall?
Yeah, very tall guy
Very talented guy
Before him, the tallest director in the world
was like 6'1
They don't run big
I just thought of a good one.
I hope I'm remembering this title right.
From Hell?
Yeah, you are.
Yeah, you're doing great.
I hope I remember
this title right.
21 Jump Street.
He was in that?
He did a funny cameo in it. Oh, a funny cameo. He was in that? Yeah.
He did a funny cameo in it.
Oh, a funny cameo.
I honestly thought Leonard Lee Nervous said,
he had a fucking cameo.
A funny cameo, yes.
Quite memorable.
Oh, I just thought of another one.
Oh, I have another one.
Oh, I hope I say this right.
Say it right.
Dark Shadows.
Yes.
Yes.
Dark Shadows.
All right, Leonard.
The Rum Diaries.
Mm-hmm.
All right, Leonard.
The Rum Diaries.
Mm-hmm.
Rango.
Rango.
That's how I'm annoyed me.
Did it?
Yeah.
Did it just seem like a really long Geico commercial?
Sarah?
Oh, um... Sure.
The Lone Ranger.
Yeah.
I chose not to cite that one.
Just not to dredge up the memory of it, even briefly.
I said it as a person who wears a Lone Ranger ring.
Right. Yeah, no, you're who wears a Lone Ranger ring. Right.
Yeah, no, you're totally into Lone Ranger,
and then they made that terrible movie.
Did you send away for that as a child?
No, no, it was made for grown-ups who are childlike
in recent years.
Thank you.
That's what they also make for those people.
Oh, Dungeons and Dragons die.
I knew you'd be there for me.
She was such a great roadie.
I'm just really hungry.
They can't all be gems.
I need sustenance.
Whose turn is it?
It's Leonard's turn, right?
Looks like it has gelatin in it.
What?
What did you just say?
The Rum Diaries?
No, I said something after that.
I said Lone Ranger.
Lone Ranger, so it's back to Leonard.
Oh, okay.
It's okay.
Sorry.
All right.
Pirates of the Caribbean, The Curse of the Black Pearl.
Yes!
The longest movie ever made.
I have to tell you something.
I don't look at my watch.
I know people who do.
I even know people who have illuminated dials on their watches
so that they can check in on, you know,
is it at the halfway point or how far are we into the movie?
I never, ever look.
I couldn't stop looking at my watch.
I just kept saying, isn't it over yet?
There's more and there
was always more yeah yeah it was like a Saturday morning cereal but you had to
watch them all in one sitting yeah like a bad Saturday morning cereal well you
know I would do a Pirates of the Caribbean movie but I'm just so scared
of the the subtitles so I'm gonna go with something simple and say Mordecai.
Stupid Mordecai. We're really knocking them all down though. Oh yeah, I thought of another one.
Sarah?
Sarah?
I'm gonna I
what did he say that was so
god damn funny
oh it's
you're very generous laugher
I have a
guess but I'm not sure if he's in it
oh no
go for it I have a guess, but I'm not sure if he's in it. Oh, no.
Go for it.
Is he in Mars Attacks? He's not. He should be.
Mars Attacks?
Settle down, Rhodey.
I don't think he is.
I don't think he is.
We don't need to IMDb it.
I don't think he is. You can't just say he's We don't need IMDb. I don't think he is.
You can't just say he's not.
Someone would be arguing vigorously with me if he was in it.
If he was in it, somebody would already be telling us.
You don't have to look it up.
You don't have to talk anymore.
No, you don't have to check.
I swear to God, people would be yelling at me right now that he is indeed in it.
That's true, you're right.
If he was in it.
There's Mars Attacks fans here, right?
And you know he's not in it, right?
Yeah, she's thinking of Michael J. Fox.
All right, Leonard, what do you got?
Hang on a second.
Oh, you can't just look up in your book.
Why not?
See, you see, kids, before there was an IMDB, what we would do...
I forgot to ask everybody what they bought for the prize bag.
Is that going in the prize bag?
It sure is.
Yay!
You'd look up Mars Attacks, which has a lot of people in it.
It has a lot of names.
An awful lot of people in it. How has a lot of names. An awful lot of people in it.
How many names?
Should I count?
Okay.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21.
I'll start the bidding.
I'll say I can name five people in Mars Attacks.
A whole lot of people in this movie, but one of them is not Johnny Depp.
I didn't think so.
Yeah.
I wasn't worried about it.
But we did need to know that you brought that for the prize bag.
Yes.
And also, do you have a copy of your other book that's out soon?
Yes, I do.
Can you share that with us real quick?
I can, if you could hold that for a minute.
Sure.
You need to get this one?
Yeah, thank you.
Boom.
This is not yet available officially.
Yeah, soon.
Because it comes out in two weeks.
This is the brand new third edition of my classic movie guide,
which is now presented by TCM, Turner Classic Movies.
So it's Turner Classic Movies presents Leonard Maltin's Classic Movie Guide,
third edition.
I love it. Thank you very much. One was mailed to my home. I appreciate it.
You're welcome.
You have a home?
Would you bring...
I also brought a t-shirt.
Oh, a t-shirt as well?
Yes.
What does that say on it? Telluride Film Festival?
How did you know? You're intuitive.
Yes, at the Telluride Film Festival two weeks ago.
Thank you, Sarah.
Meyers Sound, which does great sound installations and acoustic stuff,
gave out these shirts that say,
Sound Matters.
And I got a duplicate,
and I thought I would bring it for the gift bag tonight.
Oh, very nice.
Sound does matter.
Thank you.
I was told we're only bringing one gift.
You brought two things, didn't you?
Well, it was two of the same thing, though.
So I just brought one out.
Oh, okay. What is it?
Oh, I was just doing a joke.
You didn't bring anything?
No, I did. I brought my...
Tell us about it.
Stud?
I have to get off my stilt
chair. My chair on stilts.
My last hour special
for Comedy Central called High Five Till It Hurts.
There we go.
It's not as good as Leonard's,
but it's, you know, it's wrapped
in plastic.
And a giant tomato.
You can have it.
What about you, Esther?
What'd you bring?
Let's see.
Thank you, Sarah
and Owen.
Thank you.
I brought a DVD
of Ferris Bueller's Day Off
because I've never seen it
and one of my fans sent it to me,
but I don't have a DVD player,
so I can't watch it.
You're still never going to see it.
Perfect.
Yeah.
I know, it's really bad.
And then I also am really obsessed
with Back to the Future
and I collect T-shirts from that movie,
so I'm brought to Back to the Future T-shirts.
One is Fish Under the Sea Dance
and I don't know how to hold these up, but
here.
Sorry, enchantment.
Beautiful.
And that is a
Hill Valley
school in
1955 t-shirt.
Alright, so yeah, go ahead and,
Owen, put your thing in her bag.
Put your, that sounds terrible.
And let's just, yeah, bag it all up and pass it down.
What'd you bring, Sarah?
Well, first of all, what I brought might be boring,
but it has been wedged between this chair and my vagina,
and the heat has been emanating from it.
It is, I stapled it.
I mean, but inside is, because I have a drawer of them, Sarah Silverman Program Season 3, and then,
accompanied by several
edibles that
you can eat to
watch it.
And I decorated the cover.
I decorated the cover
with a pen
and used some lipstick.
Ooh, there's boobies.
Yeah.
All right, throw it in the bag and pass it down.
I mean, don't sell that short.
There's a Sarah Silverman piece of artwork on the bag.
Thank you, Leonard.
Here we go.
So somebody's going to win all of this stuff.
So good luck traveling to wherever you're from.
With all this this stuff. So good luck traveling to wherever you're from. With all this
extra stuff. Did you think of a Johnny Depp
movie, Leonard?
I'm trying to remember if this is the correct
title. I'm hoping it is. Nick of Time?
Yes.
Yes, indeed.
But then I just have to come right back
at you with how about Into the Woods?
Oh, shoot, yeah.
You got another one?
Can you think of the rest of any of the other Pirates of the Caribbean titles?
Yeah, I don't remember the subtitle of the one we missed.
I know one of them is about tides or some shit.
Yeah, on stupid tides.
Prince of Tides.
That's right, right.
Or on endless tides.
That's what it is.
On endless tides.
No, I think I'm drying up here.
Well, you're our winner anyway.
winner anyway.
But I'll just toss on a little Donnie Brasco.
Oh my god!
And what else do you guys have?
Secret window?
Chocolat.
Chocolat. Chocolat.
I heard you.
Is it called Alice in Wonderland?
What was that one called?
Was that called Alice in Wonderland
or was it another weird title?
The Ninth Gate.
Oh my God.
It's fun.
What's Planet Earth in the West or whatever?
What's about a Time in America?
Nightmare on Elm Street.
Friday Nightmare on Elm Street.
Oh, God, that was the one I thought of and I forgot.
What's the one where he's a writer and he loses his mind?
Is that called Korn?
Window.
Oh, that's Secret Window.
Tusk.
Yeah.
Tusk, that's right.
Tusk.
Tusk.
People are animals.
Secret Window. Secret Window. Secret animals. Secret window!
Secret window!
All right, I'll meet you there.
Okay, you guys.
So Leonard's been just killing it tonight.
He's winning everything.
Oh, man.
Does anyone have like a bar or something that's vegetarian
and pre-wrapped?
Cliff bar.
I can be your go-between.
Cliff bar works.
No, she's hungry.
Oh my God, thank you so much.
Do you want to split it or something?
It's a good flavor.
I'm picky eater.
I'll crash.
Bon appetit.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
What did I do to my microphone?
My mic's all janky now.
I guess I should have never taken it out of the stand.
That's probably what was holding it together.
Test, test.
Okay, so let's play one last game.
It has to be just one round of
I've just been dying to play it with Leonard
and he gets to go first, so that's even better.
Let's play a round of reverse
malting.
And this is, you know, similar to the Leonard Maltin game,
but we'll start with Leonard, then we'll go to Sarah.
And Leonard gets to pick a movie between three choices.
Okay.
And you pick the one you think you know the most actors
that you listed on your app from that movie,
and then bid how many names you think you can get it in,
or how many names you can name.
Okay.
And then Sarah can bid more or challenge you to name it, etc.
This is not going to go well.
Until we have a winner.
All right.
All right.
You get a pick between these three films.
Mm-hmm.
I was just inspired by a trip to the Boston area
to choose the films Gone Baby Gone,
Mystic River, and Good Will Hunting.
Which one of those films do you think you can name?
They've all got big name casts, obviously.
Which one of those do you think you can name the most've all got big name casts, obviously. Which one of those do you think
you can name the most from?
I'll try Gone Baby Gone.
Gone Baby Gone, all right.
Guy's yelling out Matt Damon.
That was not cool.
Knowledge heckling is so bizarre to me.
Knowledge heckling?
It's so weird.
I've got information!
You might be able to use it.
Leonard, you only list seven names on this one.
Maybe even just six.
Let me count them off.
Nope, seven.
Seven names.
How many of the actors in Gone Baby Gone
do you think you can name?
Oh, man.
I'll say six.
Name it.
Whoa!
Thank you for coming, Owen and Esther.
Oh.
I thought I was...
Was mine not next?
Yeah, yeah.
No, you did exactly the right thing.
It's just that now it's down to if Leonard can do it or not.
It's going to determine the winner tonight
because they run a tight festival here
and my show needs to be over in eight minutes.
We got to do some plugs and maybe throw some donuts.
Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, Morgan Freeman, Amy Ryan.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
Shoot.
So, so impressive up until now.
Yeah.
This is where it gets tough.
Ah, this is a drag.
Picture that one person that came in and was like,
eee!
Ah, drag.
You're killing it.
Everybody's containing themselves.
Up to now.
Three names remain.
You must come up with two of them.
Get the Hunger Games canon ready.
I'm sputtering out.
This is embarrassing.
Right?
No, but naming four people from that movie is impressive, I think.
I know.
You give up?
Yeah, I give up.
All right, so that means Sarah's our winner.
Sarah Silverman, ladies and gentlemen.
I always win by default.
The other three names are Ed Harris, John Ashton, and Titus Welliver.
Oh, Mr. Black.
All good actors.
Yeah, that guy's terrific.
Well, good job, you guys.
We did it.
L.A. Podfest.
Nice.
Where is...
What's the name of the person you were playing for, Sarah?
Kung Fu Panda.
Amanda?
Kung Fu Panda.
Amanda Lant...
Okay, Rhodey.
You know, you got gotta start pacing yourself.
You're here all weekend, right?
Where's she at?
Where's the person who made that?
There you go.
Can you handle all this stuff?
I tried to put it all in one convenient bag,
one little extra bag.
And are you 21 and licensed to enjoy those edibles?
Yeah, that's
drugs. I mean, don't eat it.
I mean, don't leave it out.
Don't let a pet near it.
P.S. That's drugs.
Don't let a dog near it.
That would be terrible.
Yeah, be careful with that.
Ow.
Smashing myself
in the face with the microphone. Owen Benjamin, what do you got to
plug, my friend? Bunch of dates, but I think a lot of people live here, I'm guessing, so it doesn't
really matter. Okay, so just owenbenjamin.com, just tons of dates till October, and then Why
Didn't They Laugh podcast on iTunes. Cheers. Thank you. Yeah, thank you so much. Thank you for being here.
I just had to hold it like that the whole time.
Do you want to go hold up that target,
like, say, over there in the corner?
Where'd those donut holes go?
Okay, never mind.
Okay, if they're not ready right away.
Esther, what do you got to plug?
No, I don't want to do it Weird Adults with Little Esther
is my podcast
and one of the recent episodes
is with Doug Benson
and we talk about our love for musical theater
We talk about musicals
Yeah, we do
Check it out on iTunes
Sarah, what's going on?
We could see I Smile
Back in 10 theaters.
Cities. I Smile Back
starts in 10 cities
October 23rd and I'll be
touring
to do screenings in
San Francisco, Mill Valley,
New York, LA.
Maybe Atlanta
and DC but I think I'm going to cancel
those.
Not because I want to.
And, um, yeah.
I can't open this damn thing.
Sorry about that. In the middle of your plugs
I'm trying to open these dumb donuts.
That's it. That's all. I'm done.
She's done! Sarah Silverman!
Thank you.
Thank you.
You want the other half?
Leonard's book, Classics Movies
That Are Too Good for Most of You
is
coming out when? Coming out in two weeks.
It's available for pre-order
online, Barnes & Noble, Amazon,
places like that.
My website is
LeonardMalton.com, where I review movies
and talk about different stuff.
My podcast is called Malton on Movies with Baron Vaughn.
We're on iTunes also.
I love Baron Vaughn.
Doug, have you had Baron Vaughn on your show?
No.
Yes.
Yeah, he's been on.
I'm going to go on their show, too.
Good night!
We're almost done.
Slowing to a whoa.
Did you see that?
That was some
Neil Patrick Harris Best Night Ever shit
Right there
Damn it
I wish I just remembered it
I thought I could remember it
But I failed
And
What's this shit
I need that shield
Oh wait
Let me just throw a donut
At it real quick
Wow An audio An audio side gag Yeah Can you pass it down Wow.
An audio side gag.
Yeah.
Can you pass it down to me or roll it over here?
Yeah, we'll roll it down.
Yeah.
Captain America style.
Just throw it through the room.
Ching, ching, ching.
You want to be able to read it?
Yeah.
You've got to turn it a little more.
There you go.
All right. it? Yeah. You've got to turn it a little more. There you go. Alright.
Thank you, everybody,
for coming out to the first show.
One of the first shows
at LA PodFest.
We'll be here all weekend
long.
Come out for dining with Doug and Karen
tomorrow morning,
10 a.m.
See earbuds later tonight.
And as always, oversized name tags are a shithead.
Very good.
Donald Trump is a shithead But there's more
But he's luxurious
He's amazing
He's the best Trump that's ever been
Except for maybe his daughter
Who he would totally fuck Did I say one more time for Owen Benjamin,
Esther Favitsky, Sarah Silverman,
and Leonard Maltin?
Thank you, man.
People that confuse clocks with bombs are a shithead. Thank you.
We could do the end theme song all of us together, right?
Yeah!
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.
Thank you, LA Podfest.
Good night.