Doug Loves Movies - Sarah Silverman, Wheeler Walker Jr and Rob Benedict guest
Episode Date: August 24, 2016Live from the Nerdmelt Showroom in Los Angeles, Doug welcomes Sarah Silverman, Wheeler Walker Jr and Rob Benedict to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California ...Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky
See with 50 as a popper, Colonel in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves to read
Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love Meltdown.
This is Doug's Meltdown.
I tricked you.
Coming to you once again from Meltdown Comics in Hollywood, California.
Let's see what date it is, just for the hell of it.
It's Tuesday, August 23rd.
So, like, if you're listening to this on
say
Friday, August
26th
Right?
You don't need to
contact the corrections department if something
was wrong on tonight's show. I will
hear about it almost immediately.
Let's put it this way.
Check the date that the show comes out
and then go, oh, I'm a day or two later than that.
Doug has already been corrected
and I don't have to mess with it.
I don't know why I'm starting off the show so angry.
It is Tuesday, August 23rd, 2016.
I feel the need, the need for name tags.
What have you got, Los Angeles?
Plenty of name tags.
That's all I needed to know.
Wait, Patrick, Patrick Games?
Instead of?
Patriot Games.
Patriot Games.
I was like, what does Patrick Games
have to do with reindeer games?
Popstar never stops stopping, what does Patrick Games have to do with Reindeer Games? Pop Star never stops stopping.
What's your name?
Nick stops stopping.
Nick stop Nick stopping.
Burn after reading because your last name is R-E-I-D.
Read.
First name.
Get the fuck out of here.
Stand up and leave the room.
What's next to you? What's that?
Encino Amanda?
You put my face on a caveman.
I don't know if I like that.
What's that one over there?
On Ray?
What's your name?
On Ray.
Your name is On Ray? Yeah. What's your name? On Ray. On Ray? Your name is On Ray?
Yeah.
O-N-R-A-Y?
R-E-Y, but...
R-E-Y, but you went on Ray.
Yeah.
Because there's a movie called Ray.
Yeah.
But then you just got a picture of just me smoking a joint,
a bunch of smoke coming out of my face.
The poster board is the same.
Okay.
It's very similar to the motion picture Ray about Ray Charles?
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know.
I feel something racist is going on, but maybe it isn't.
What's that thing that says Lawrence on it?
Is it a box?
It's a VCR.
It's a VCR?
You just put your name on a VCR?
Everybody names their VCR.
Hey, you guys,
you want to watch a movie
on VHS tape?
I will put it in Lawrence.
Well, thank you to everybody
for making such creative
and weird-ass name tags.
Doug Pluggs, Nashville.
This Saturday, Doug Loves Movies is back
at Zany's in Nashville
at 420. Seattle,
Thursday, September 1st at the Neptune
Theater. Denver,
Labor Day, Comedy Works,
downtown,
also at 420. DougLovesMovies.com
That's DougLovesMovies.com
And Doug Loves Moviesies 12 Guests of Christmas
At the Gramercy Theater in New York City
Will sell out any day now
So for sure
Get on it
From the corrections department
Apparently there is footage of
Talia Shire as Adrian
In Rocky Balboa
And also apparently
people give a shit.
Let's check out the prize bag, you guys.
I'm going to put
these donuts somebody put on the stage
in the prize bag.
Also, from, I was just
at WizardCon, WizardWorld,
sorry, WizardWorld Comic-Con
in Chicago,
and a dude there
named Drew Blank
gave me, you can go to
herosquares.com to get
more of this, but he gave me
a coloring book called
Phil Bill Volume 1
and it's all, you can
color in moments of Bill
Murray
in various motion pictures.
There he is in Where the Buffalo Roam.
You can color that in.
And Groundhog Day.
Oh, this is a fun game, guessing which movies these are.
Kingpin.
Rushmore.
You get the idea.
A water bottle from At Midnight.
Because when you do At Midnight,
they give you a water bottle.
And I guess it's to help walk around with water.
I don't know if it's clean.
I don't know what's special about it.
I've never tried it.
I give it away every time.
A Douglas Movies t-shirt.
A CD from the band Sum 41.
Their CD entitled, Does This Look Infected?
Aren't they fun?
That's a fun band.
No matter how you add it up.
And,
a couple of coasters from my run in the marijuana logs off Broadway,
and a pipe from our friends at Peacemaker.
All of that stuff was contributed by me, but what did my guests bring?
Let's find out when I bring them out here.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a good one.
Please welcome Rob Benedict,
Wheeler Walker Jr., and Sarah Silverman. Thank you. Hey, you guys.
Hi, you.
Nice, quiet, well-behaved panel.
I like this already.
We got two newbies today,
but first let's say hi to the,
excuse the expression, old bee.
It's Sarah Silverman, everybody!
Hi, everybody.
Resplendent in Harry Potter wear from Sears.
I don't know.
Do they have a thing like that?
Did you just do
crowd work on me
on you
yeah
some kind of crowd work
well don't get me started
on the outfits
and the people
and the crowd
but you have a scarf on
and it's
I think it's August
it's a sweater
oh okay
a sweater
yeah no
you don't have to worry
about air conditioning
in this joint
I know I knew that
but also then when I came over
And then when I, oh never mind
I have mustard on my shirt
But I used a cottonel wipe
To try to take it off
It's a whole story
Trust me you guys, it's a great story
What do you eat that you put mustard on?
Lately
I have been obsessed
Because she's not a meat eater
so why would you use mustard?
Well, I don't mean to
bring it up only in times when
there's a possible way I can wedge it in, but
I had life or death surgery recently.
And since...
Oh, I didn't get to laugh at all.
And
since then I've had insane
cravings for veggie hot dogs and tofurkey,
and I just cover it in mustard and eat it.
Okay.
Like Chad from The Bachelor.
He's what?
He eats meat.
You don't get it, Doug.
Oh, he's a big meat eater?
He just eats meat straight out of the Tupperware.
All right.
I'll deal with The Bachelor.
All right, fair enough.
Chad.
I heard there's going to be a Wreck-It Ralph 2.
There is.
Are you in it?
Yes.
Yay!
Super long-ass process.
Have you recorded stuff yet?
No, I recently just recorded something for a parade at Disney World
where it used to be Goofy on a bike going down a parade,
and they're just putting Vanellope on that bike,
and I'm saying just almost the exact same things.
That Goofy said?
Yeah, but like about candy. Do you remember an example could you do what
quote uh really dumb shit like um wow candy i love candy and i'm just thinking like candy is poison
yeah it's bad it's bad for the children You're not a good role model at all.
I mean, I'm thrilled to be a part of it,
and I love that character,
but candy is not something that should be a part
of your everyday life as a child.
Yeah, kids shouldn't be eating sweets.
Oh, nice.
But it's a fun movie,
and I'm excited they're making another one.
Yes.
All right, you guys.
Rob Benedict is here another one. Yes. Alright you guys.
Rob Benedict is here. Everybody.
Hello.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Dude, when the movie Waiting is on television
I don't even care
if there's fucking commercials.
If it's Comedy Central, I will watch
it to its conclusion
because I'm always concerned about you and your concerns. I will watch it to its conclusion because I'm always concerned about you
and your concerns.
I know it's...
You know,
everyone there, it's like
it's a rough world where everyone's just wondering
if they're going to get promoted to manager.
And all true.
You've worked in the restaurant industry. It's very
true. A lot about it's true. And you know,
every sort of restaurant I go into,
like a lot of the waiters,
you know,
are fans of that movie.
Of course.
So they put their dick
in your food?
So they put their dick
in my food as an homage.
Right.
But also,
I get recognized
in bathrooms a lot,
which is really weird
because my character
can't go to the bathroom.
That's the plot line.
It's a very,
it's a heady movie.
But yeah,
so I can't go to the bathroom.
So they're like,
you the dude from that movie?
And you know, you still got that problem?
Obviously.
Clearly not.
I'm peeing right now, you son of a bitch.
I've gotten over it.
And also, I've been a fan since all the way back to, you know, it's sad to admit that
I was, I watched Felicity.
Awesome.
Thank you.
I watched Felicity.
Awesome.
Thank you.
And wow, what a,
can you tell us about the turmoil around the time of the haircut?
Yeah.
When Felicity cut her hair
and for some reason that ruined the whole show?
It was like the biggest news ever.
I don't know what,
there was nothing going on in the world at that time.
Right, Twitter didn't exist.
Right.
So somehow.
It was pre-9-11.
People weren't talking about anything.
No, they weren't.
People were just keeping to themselves. She cut her hair and it was like 9-11 like people weren't talking about anything no they weren't people were just
keeping to themselves
she cut her hair
and it was like
oh I remember
people went
people went insane
she had to wear wigs
she wore a wig for a while
it was really bad
it was super bad
it forced her to become
an undercover KGB agent
she's kicking ass now
and I was in that movie
Waiting
And stuff
Hey don't forget about
Still Waiting
Still Waiting
The sequel
Still Waiting
Ryan Reynolds
Didn't make the sequel
Oh he didn't
Anna Faris
Not so much in the sequel
Oh okay
Dave Keckner
Dave Keckner
Keckner
Yes he did like a cameo
He Koechnered in
For a second
Koechnered in
Okay
Sarah had a guess
Andy Melanakis
Yes in the sequel
There you go
Sequel
He's back
Good Melanakis
Bring back Sarah
That poor kid that he hung out with
In the first one
Is no longer with us
He's not
I don't think so
What
I think he's dead
Shit he was in the sequel I can't believe Oh then maybe he's not dead I don't think so. What? I think he's dead. Shit, he was in the sequel.
They both were in the sequel.
Oh, then maybe he's not dead.
I can't believe
you've told me that.
No, no.
That sequel was
eight years ago.
Oh, okay, then he's dead.
Jesus.
Someone will let
the corrections department
know if I'm wrong
on that.
Thank you, Rob,
for participating in this.
Thanks for having me.
And also thank you to
Wheeler Walker Jr.
is here, everybody.
Biggest country star
that's been on this podcast?
Perhaps
we've had, you know...
I knew it.
I knew it.
Be Real from Cypress Hill.
No.
No, we've had...
There's got to be...
Scooter Jennings.
Shooter.
Oh.
Shooter.
Sorry.
Scooter.
Scooter Jennings.
My favorite Muppet.
Oh, excuse me.
No, Shooter's been on the show.
All right.
So he's a pretty good one, right?
I'm number two.
You cover songs by his dad in your live shows.
Yeah, you came to the show.
He came to a show?
No, you came to the show.
Oh, I did, yes.
Yeah.
And I was like, that's some Waylon Jennings stuff he's playing right now.
Yeah, you knew the shit.
Thanks for coming, man.
Oh, it was so much fun.
Bird Cloud was your opening act.
They were insane on my weed show, Getting Doug With High.
Yeah, they were crazy.
They leave their check.
Every show we got to pick up, They leave their checks at all the shows
You know people are always like, you know, I'm only in it for the music
I in it for they're actually only in it for the music
They leave there they open up the bird clouds really cool band you got to check about they open up all our shows and they
Never take their money. So we have to deliver it to them the next show
Yeah, here's your money. Oh
They don't even that's secondary to what we want to do.
Exactly.
The music's the most important.
Well, the music
that one of them plays
on a harmonica
that's in the other one's vagina.
Yeah, well,
that's what originally...
I'm not going to lie.
What's got me turned on to them
in the...
That's where they came
on my radar.
That's where you're like,
they can open for me.
Yeah.
Both of them can open
their harmonicas to me.
I could watch that every night.
Wait, wait.
The harmonica's in her vagina.
The guy is playing it
and then it's the microphone in her mouth?
It's just near her vagina.
It's just on her vagina.
As someone who's been in a lot of dressing rooms
watching them get set up every night for two weeks,
the harmonica goes in a little thing here
and then they put like a little mic here and then she looks like they're eating beef
And it's just harmonica sounds coming out and you've never heard a worse sound harmonica, but it's cool to watch
I've never heard a better sounding vagina. That's for sure
This whole time I was thinking kazoo
Now hold on to make a kazoo sound.
It's full-fledged harmonica.
Well, a kazoo, you wouldn't need the holder.
It would help.
Right, right.
That's probably why it was...
Just shove.
Just shove it.
But you're between tours right now?
You're about to go back out on tour?
Yeah, we're going.
Southeast tour starts in, I think, two weeks.
But I'm talking to a bunch of people in L.A.,
so it doesn't fucking matter.
But we'll be in Southeast
to all the people listening in the Southeast.
How's your podcast doing in the Southeast?
It's all right.
Oh, my gosh, this podcast is everywhere.
I went to England, and people were...
I went to...
No, I want to hear the rest of it.
I'm excited that people in England...
We were at a restaurant,
and the couple waiting in front of us were like,
we just heard you on Doug Love's movies.
It's very nice to hear.
Yeah, I did a show over there once,
and it was a great turnout,
and I'll probably do it again.
I thought my story was...
It's super...
So, Wheeler, are you a big movie guy?
Are you into movies?
Yeah, I mean, we watch a lot of shit on the van.
I mean, we were talking about some heavy shit backstage. I'm more of a TV person, probably, because I sit around the watched a lot of shit on the van. I mean, we were talking about some heavy shit backstage.
I'm more of a TV person, probably, because I sit around the house a lot.
But we were discussing the shit we were talking about backstage.
Some of it was in between TV and movie range, so it could be cool to talk about.
We were discussing the OJ doc at length backstage.
The doc, not the...
Right, the doc.
The documentary.
Your buddy told me that it's... Right, the doc. The documentary. But your buddy told me
that it's...
Because now I'm
Mr. Hollywood.
He's telling me
it's eligible for an Oscar
because they screened it
in the theater.
What?
And it should win an Oscar
because it's the best
documentary I've ever
fucking seen.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's eligible for
Best Documentary Oscar.
Yeah, that makes sense.
It's really good.
All right.
Why do you like it so much? Why don All right. Why do you like it so much?
Why don't you marry it if you like it so much?
For you at home, Doug and I just high-fived.
That line was Von Schweetz.
This is why I don't come to Hollywood.
You just sit down and people are fucking rude.
They don't say shit like that to you in Tennessee.
What do they say to you in Tennessee?
Go fuck your mother.
That seems ruder.
Do you have aspirations to have, like, your songs on the soundtrack in motion pictures
or to appear, like, maybe as yourself in a motion picture?
It's come up a couple times because people ask about my songs.
And, again, I'm learning a little bit more.
The problem is, I don't know if people in here know,
they don't like the songs because they do like the, you know,
the Comedy Central or whatever USA versions.
And they got to bleep my fucking,
because they had enough trouble bleeping the language, you know, the dialogues.
They don't like to bleep the fucking song in the back.
Because I was up for a movie and they wanted the song,
but then they were like, it'll fuck up the
cable version of it.
Because, I mean, like...
Right, because you don't want to hear bleeps in a song.
Exactly, it'll take you out of the world.
Which one of you queers going to suck my dick ain't in the fucking
is not going to be in
the new record Ralph.
Yeah, well, which one of you beep is going to beep
my beep? Like, you don't even know what the hell you're
talking about at that point.
They could drop the audio.
Oh, good idea, Sarah.
But then I don't get no money.
Oh, you only get paid if they hear your voice?
I don't know.
Either way, I think the important part was they said no, so it didn't matter.
Well, you don't have an IMDB page yet, which, you know, is...
It's a mystery. That's cool with music you know, is... I'm a mystery.
That's cool with music.
You've got to keep them as a mystery.
Don't feel bad about it or anything.
I just bring it up because I always like to ask my guests about their IMDb pages because there's a part where it says,
best known for and lists four things.
So let's start with Sarah.
What do you think your top four best known for things are?
It can be a TV show or a movie, but, you know.
Sarah Silverman program, I hope.
No.
No, it didn't make the cut.
But that's because you've really been in some motion pictures.
You've been in some serious players in the world.
Well, I was like the punty girlfriend in School of Rock.
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
That's in there.
That's number two.
What else do you think is in your top four?
Something about Mary?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God.
That's in there.
I had four lines.
Huge movie.
But you were in there.
I don't know all right be the car I mean so what you're
doing I'm giving her hint well you're talking before yeah well what we're
talking about earlier what was already discussed yeah number one most known for
wrecking Ralph I mean I don't even got any IMDb page I mean they could list, man. I mean, they could list like a million things, obviously.
But what do you think the fourth thing is?
If they can't list a million.
If they can't list a million and they have to list...
A million ways to die in the West?
That's correct.
I like that one.
I know.
It's a weird metric that they use with IMDb.
But you can, I think, either now or soon,
you can go in as Sarah Silverman and pick your top four instead of letting them pick.
I'm never going to do that.
Yeah, you're not going to do it, but I'm just saying that'll change the metric a little bit.
Can you go in and open a page?
I mean, start a page for yourself, even if you've never been in movies?
Oh, I don't know about that.
Are you asking for a friend?
I'm asking for myself.
I'm trying to help you out.
I'm here for promo.
I'm losing time because you guys got...
I feel like you'll be in a movie soon.
Like, if I make another movie, I'd put you in it.
Oh, cool.
I'm going to do, like, a waiting three.
Yeah, we'd get you in waiting three.
Oh, cool, man.
This is a long trip, but it's paying off.
Yeah. It's just me, nobody else. I'll put, man. This is a long trip, but it's paying off.
Yeah.
It's just me,
nobody else.
It's me and you.
Guys, our new manager here at the restaurant
is an aspiring
country western singer.
Oh,
let's listen to his stuff.
Yeah.
And then,
beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep.
Rob Benedict,
what do you think
your top four are?
Golly.
I had to guess.
Supernatural.
What?
Supernatural TV series?
Supernatural?
No, that didn't make the cut.
There's a fan in the audience, though.
Okay, how about...
It's all motion pictures.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting is number one.
Still waiting?
Still waiting is number three.
State of play?
Number two.
Wow.
What's four?
Yeah.
What's your number four?
Motion picture.
It's a motion picture?
In your top four.
It is a motion picture.
It's not Felicity.
A Little Help?
That's not the name of it.
What does it start with?
It's not a TV show. I can tell you what it's not okay it's not another teen movie great job interesting what was the last movie you
saw Rob my last movie I saw was was Hell or High Water.
And really, really enjoyed it.
Very good. Extremely high score on Rotten Tomatoes
for that one. Jeff Bridges
at his surliest.
Still got it. I mean, he's talking
very strange, but it really, really works.
He's talking like he's got something in his
mouth, but he's just, I fucking
love him so much. I think it's his last bong
hit is what's in his mouth. Sure, maybe. Yeah, I heard he's a he's just i love him so much i think it's his last bong hit is what's in his mouth sure maybe yeah i heard he's a real big pothead sure i love him for that
he's just so good he's just so great and you know it's funny i worked i worked on
massive sex last year and i was like beau's boyfriend at the end of last year that's how
we met that's how we met anyways and so and like so so i was beau bridges boyfriend which is pretty awesome and he's like so i want
to be a bridges i will adopt me into the bridge you know i just had scenes with him for the first
time and he he was like i have the same voices my brother why can't i get the voiceover work i'm
cheaper i was like oh my god i thought it was him I always try to guess who the
voiceover is on commercials and so many times I have guessed Bo Bridges must
have been Jeff Bridges. He'll be like you know my brother does
pictures movie pictures and he was talking to Robin Williams and he was
like my brother did a movie with him a picture called Fisher King I was like
yeah I know I yeah I'm quite aware there once was a movie called uh fisher king i was like yeah i know i yeah i'm quite aware
there once was a movie called the fisher king bo bridges is great as a terrible person
very bad bad guy in a movie called eden uh that uh i'd recommend if you want to be insanely sad
for a while wow it's a very upsetting movie about, basically,
about human trafficking.
And he's like a redneck
human trafficker.
Is Ellen Page in that?
No.
That just sounded like
your John Panette impression.
You go now!
So what was the last movie you saw, Sarah?
I haven't seen a movie in so long.
I bought tickets to see that Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster movie.
And then it was like, oh, I like my couch right now.
I did not feel well
but um i've been television as you know is my passion and i spent um
i just watched all of stranger things and now i am on it's the best movie out there right now
oh my god it's so good it is pure joy yeah spielberg monster squad all of, it's so good. It is pure joy.
Yeah, Spielberg, Monster Squad, all of it.
It's like really, it's like a throwback,
but fresh at the same time.
Yeah, it's like every part is so iconic and familiar,
and yet it's totally original.
Were you tweeting with David Harbour?
Did I see that?
That guy is so good in it.
He's so incredible,
and it's exciting to see him in this big role
because I've always known him as,
I love watching,
I like to go to sleep to Law & Order.
And so I know every actor in New York,
I'm like, oh my God,
when I first met David Harbour,
I met him once years ago,
and I was like, oh my God,
you were the silverware thief.
And he was like, they're always like, I'm so embarrassed.
That's not who I am.
You know?
And I'm like, just say thank you.
It's a big deal to me.
I go to bed, I've seen every episode of every Law & Order a million times.
But New York actors look at Law and order as like jury duty or something
like they all get a part at some point some of them get multiple parts greatest actors come
through law and order and you can only see like a young john krasinski or a young philip seymour
hoffman or a and then i saw a very young david harbour way before the silverware thief episode on criminal intent where he's just
a waiter and has like two lines and I posted it and he was like oh come on do you have other things
to do I was like no I need to come down from stranger things by the gentle tones of soft core murder and that's how I go to sleep but he's incredible in it
Wheeler was last movie you saw I was just thinking about it so I was
listening to I was catching up on Stern and Jonah Hill was on sure and I'm like
I haven't seen rewatched Wolf of Wall Street and I
it's three fucking hours long
and I
every minute
I sat there
it's better than
fucking second
that's a
I'd watch that movie
out of the loop
I sat twice in the theater
I love
you know what I love
I love
you know what I love
I ask myself
it's like fear and love
I love movies about
assholes just going movies about assholes
just going and being fucking assholes.
And persevering and succeeding.
Yeah, well,
they get their comeuppance,
but you know.
He's still the hero of that movie.
Well, yeah, well,
yeah, I guess.
I don't know,
I didn't think about that much.
He got played by a movie star.
Yeah, well, that's true,
but yeah.
That movie is just so, is just so fucking good,
you can't turn it off.
And I pressed the wrong button,
and I bought it on iTunes and rented it.
So now I own it.
But it's great.
But I'll watch it.
You can watch it as much as you want.
But yeah, now I'm glad I did.
Good deal.
It is one of those things where I was,
I had seen it.
I saw it twice.
I loved it so much.
It's about scumbags.
Real life fucking scumbags. And I, youumbags and I you know so I thought they're funny I was playing
basketball and with the scumbag this big gorgeous black guy who is actually a
comic his name is Alex and he I didn't know him at the time but I was playing
pickup games and he kept going Wolf of Wall Street baby every time
he was passing the ball Wolf of Wall Street baby yeah Wolf of Wall Street and then we were sitting
in the sidelines like because we were waiting to go in to play the winners of the next game and I
go look I loved Wolf of Wall Street too but do not turn this into some cultural Scarface where you
worship a scumbag it's about scumbags because I feel I can say that to people as an older
Woman to younger comedians, and then he just went I
Didn't see it
And it made me love him so much
Weird thing to yell out
Why does he just pick some other movie? You 5-7-1!
Wheeler, I feel like I took
your story and
That was a way better story. I didn't have anything.
That's a way better story than my story.
No, but it was good that you bought it instead of rented it.
Well, I also...
You know how iTunes now has a 99 cent thing?
Sure.
It was Tarantino.
I just bought a...
You can rent it for 99 cents.
Hayflate?
No, the...
Well, yeah.
No, no, what's the new one?
Hayflate.
Tarantino?
Yeah.
So I rented that,
and then I watched it on all my devices.
I rented it nine and then I watched it on all my devices.
I rented it nine times at 99 cents.
So I accidentally bought it, but now I can only... If you do it on different...
It's more of a PSA.
I want to warn people.
If you rent something on iTunes, you can't watch it on another fucking device.
So I started it on my fucking Apple TV, watched some more on my fucking Apple TV watch some more oh yeah it's a long movie and
then you kept doing it and I got charged not so I basically I could have bought
fucking four laser discs of it for the price that I that I rented it for laser
discs okay look at these dudes that's what I'm sure they're all fucking collectors.
Sorry.
Applaud if you own LaserDisc.
I knew it.
I like the one clap. That was actually the one hand clapping.
I should have clapped because I have some.
But I don't ever watch them.
I gave away my player, so I can't watch them. But I ever watch them. I gave away my player
so I don't
I can't watch them
but I still have them.
All right you guys
now it's time for
Bert Kreischer
to turn the show off
because I'm about to say
let the games begin!
Ladies Lady didn't mean to call either of you guys a lady.
Lady and gentlemen, some people here have crafted some really nice name tags.
I'd like each of you to go out into the audience and select who you would like to play for
by physically taking their name tag and bringing it back.
Oh, the Cry-Anne game?
Your name is Cry-Anne?
It's just Ryan. Oh, Ryan.
See Ryan.
See Ryan game. So you just
pick who you'd like to play for and bring it back to your seat.
And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back after these
messages.
Today's episode is brought to you in part
by Kevin Smith's new comedy
Yoga Hosers.
Catch it in movie theaters nationwide for a special premiere event days before its official release.
This is your chance to see the film before anyone else, plus catch an exclusive discussion with director Kevin Smith.
Yoga Hosers stars Johnny Depp and his daughter Lily Rose Depp, along with Kevin Smith's daughter Harley Quinn Smith. Lily Rose and Harley Quinn reprise their roles as the Colleen Coalition from the 2014 Kevin
Smith comedy Tusk.
When the Colleens discover that a Nazi splitter group has been raising an army of monsters
beneath the store where they work, the teens team up with legendary Manhunter played by
Johnny Depp to stop the world-threatening
uprising kevin smith's yoga hosers premiere party comes to select movie theaters nationwide for an
epic one-night event on august 30th tickets available now at fathom.live slash kevin smith
back to the show all Alright we're back
Very quick name tag selection
I appreciate that
I want to get pictures of these beautiful name tags
Rob who are you playing for?
Chelsea
I assume her name is Chelsea because her poster says
Voyage to the bottom of Chelsea
Yeah that would be weird to change that word
To Chelsea if her name was Voyage
It would be weird
Just hold that up for me so I can Get a nice picture of you and it That'd be weird to change that word to Chelsea if her name was Voyage. It would be weird.
Just hold that up for me so I can get a nice picture of you and it.
Let me get your face in there a little bit.
There you go.
Oh, nice.
All right, Sarah, who are you playing for?
I am Lauren.
Instead of I am Legend.
Yeah.
That's fun.
Very nice.
Do you like that movie, Sarah?
Oh, I don't know.
Can you read what's written on the back of this?
No, no.
You don't want to read that out loud.
Yeah, don't say that, Wheeler, because that's the consolation prize if they lose today.
It's all good.
You're from Tennessee?
Let me see yours.
This is a movie you're in.
Your picture there.
Where the Stone Age meets the Rock Age
Encino Amanda
Yeah, I love that
That's beautiful
That's clever
Excellent choice
And yeah, don't read
Don't read it
And tell us what you brought
For the old prize bag there, Wheeler
Well, a couple things
You said bring two things
This is limited edition
Wheeler Walker Jr. redneck shit on vinyl.
Which is
most of them
usually when I give away
the vinyl I autograph it but that one's
not autographed so that's a special collector's
edition. Wait.
It's even more special because you haven't signed
it. People could say he didn't sign
this one. He has plenty of
opportunity. When I give gifts away, I sign them.
That one I did not.
And my t-shirt, which you guys will probably like.
So I got a lot of requests.
People were emailing
that I didn't sell.
People would just email, man, I like your t-shirts,
but you don't sell fat fuck sizes.
They kept saying that. You don't sell fat fuck sizes.
So all the double XL and triple XLs,
I insisted that they say fat fuck size. So all the double XL and triple XLs, I insisted that they say
fat fuck size. Fat fuck size.
Right on there. And then
guys who are worried
about, the question I get is if I'm
self-conscious about my weight and I don't want
a t-shirt that says fat fuck size, what do I buy?
And the answer is
all the shirts now have fat, all the
double XLs and triple XLs have fat fuck
size on it. So if you have fat fuck size on it.
So if you're fat, people know it.
They're just saying you're helping them to get their shit together.
Well, yeah, it's just motivating. Yeah.
And such beautiful...
You have really, I dare say, romantic songs on this album.
What's the one I loved so much?
Better Off Beating Off?
No, above it.
Oh, Fighting Fucking Farting?
Yeah.
Man's gotta prioritize.
It's not in order of importance.
That's not in order?
That's just,
that's the way it felt off the tongue.
I'm a poet.
It comes off the tongue.
Right.
What do you have for the bag, Sarah?
Looks like a lot.
You brought your own bag.
I think it is.
It's a Gelson's bag.
Oh, no.
If that had been a Ralph's bag, it would have...
God, not Matt.
Well, I always bring this because I have drawers and drawers of them for some reason.
Sarah Silverman Program Season 3 DVD.
There you go.
This is a Krusty the Clown
wig. Oh my god, that's awesome.
Whoa. Let me see
that thing. When it was sticking
out of your bag, I had no idea what it was
supposed to be. This is all swag
and I live in a small apartment, so
this is a movie that's coming
out next year
and this was the back of my chair.
It was called The Book of Henry.
They give you the back of your chair.
That's a nice plug for that.
Is this hat supposed to
make you feel like your brain is being
cut off and that you might pass out?
My guess is it's for children or people with slightly
smaller heads. You need a fat fuck size.
This was the Christmas gift for
Bob's Burgers. It's a blanket of Bob's Burgers. It's a beautiful Bob's Burgers
blanket.
Sorry, my Gelson's bag shit the bed a little bit.
Yeah, the bag fell apart.
But oftentimes people have to go home with a prize pile if they win here.
And they've got to work it out for themselves.
It's nothing for us to worry about.
Rob, what do you got for the bags?
Doug, I missed the memo about the gift.
But here's the thing.
for the bags. Doug, you know,
I missed the memo
about the gift,
but here's the thing.
I got,
I'm going to give,
my prize is going to be,
my car is a grab bag
of shit right now.
I got so much good stuff
Someone can just
walk to your car
with you.
Walk to my car with me
and take two items from it.
Any two items
that are in your car.
So you can't have
the car itself
because I need to drive home.
There has to be something within the car.
I'm a big music fan,
so I guarantee music might, you know...
Could they take, like, two upholstered seats?
Sure.
Bring your own tools, though.
But, you know, also,
there's a phone charger that's off the chain in there
that you might...
Okay.
Literally, it's off the chain.
It needs to be put back together, but... Yeah, grab bag my car that sounds great okay it's gonna be really
fun i'm parked right there i promise i really love that i'm really excited about that as a
as an option for the winner tonight and uh also i might uh you know smoke some weed with you while we're at it.
All right, you guys.
Yeah, I know.
I'm always standing out back after the show,
and some nice people come out there,
and then a lot of the people don't because they're straight-edge podcast listeners.
Which I love.
You don't have to smoke pot to enjoy the show,
but it helps!
All right.
Let's play some games, you guys.
Let's do it.
I'm so fired up.
I think you guys are all strong competitors,
and it's going to be very intense.
And to determine the winner of our first game,
who can go first in the next game,
we've got a special treat.
He stops by every once in a while.
Let's do some lines of art.
You guys want to do some fucking lines?
Let's fucking do this shit. For the listener at home, I'm ready to fucking go.
Yeah, you are squatting in a way
that a lot of the audience can't even see you.
And then you pop up. That's exciting exciting you're a movie star through and through and
I always appreciate you coming by what's uh what's going on with what's going on with
your right hand I'd like to know because it's really it seems like you can't wait to touch yourself. I keep my hand on my money, and my money's my dick.
Oh, okay.
How you guys doing?
You doing good?
What's going on, man?
Not much, dude.
I haven't fucking seen you in a while.
It's been a minute, yeah.
It's our fucking busy season at Wahlburgers,
so I've been fucking crazy busy.
You sell more burgers this time of year?
Fuck yeah, dude.
All those fucking idiot people coming up,
oh, let's go to Cape Cod.
No, let's stop at Wahlburgers first.
So we fucking get them coming in.
Then today, Donnie asked if I would go with him
looking for cans, and I did.
You went looking for cans? I didn't look for shit. Donnie looked for fucking cans, and I just walked You went looking for cans?
I didn't look for shit.
Donnie looked for fucking cans
and I just walked around
and was like,
go look over there, Donnie.
And then I saw you were doing the show
and I'm like,
Donnie, I'll catch up.
So you're still out there
looking for cans?
Oh, yeah.
He thinks the LaCroix ones
are more expensive.
I'm like,
same fucking can price, dude.
It is a fancy name.
LaCroix.. Lacroix.
Lacroix.
Yeah.
I think it's really Lacroix, though.
I think it's like...
It's Lacroix.
Okay.
I agree.
It's fun to say
Pimplemousse Lacroix.
Yeah.
But it's Lacroix.
Yeah.
It's fucking Lacroix, dude.
All right.
We've had this debate
on the show before. There's no reason to get into
it again. Why would you want to lose? Because Doug does not
love LaCroix.
You're going to say a line.
Yeah, you want to do a line, dude? Yeah, from a
motion picture.
Hopefully a famous one. Mark gets to decide.
I don't tell Mark what to do.
Nobody does. All three of my
guests are going,
just guess if you know the name of the movie
that he is quoting.
Of course.
Sarah.
Where the fuck's Michael?
Oh, Michael?
Yeah.
He's shooting his television show.
Fuck that shit, TV.
All right.
Wow, that's kind of intense.
No, that's the thing between me and him. Me and him made that joke last time we hung out. We're like, fucking TV, right? He's Wow, that's, uh... No, that's the thing
between me and him.
Me and him made that joke
last time we hung out.
We're like, fucking TV, right?
He's like, I know, movies.
I'm like, you fucking said it, dude.
You guys really are
kindred spirits.
I fucking love that, dude.
Seriously, I was like,
if you could fit in my pocket,
I will take you everywhere.
And then he's like,
if you could fit in mine, I was like you everywhere and he's like if you could fit in mine I was like dude I'll break your pants wide
open I bet every conversation Mark Wahlberg has with another actor is super
entertaining well yeah I mean when it comes to me in pants I bust that shit
wide open are you ready to do a fucking line time? Yeah, so you're going to say a line from a movie.
Panelists, just guess
as often as you want until somebody
gets it right. You might have multiple lines
ready to go.
At first he's going to say something from Boogie Nights
that's not part of the thing.
Okay.
So wait for it.
Look good, feel good.
You look good.
You feel good.
Are you ready if I can do this?
Yes.
Yeah.
So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?
She rescues him right back.
So what happens after he climbs up and he rescues her?
She rescues him right back. Is what happens after he climbs up and he rescues her? She rescues him right back.
Is that two people talking or one person?
Two people.
So what happens after he climbs up and he rescues her?
She rescues him right back.
Whatever it is, that was in the trailer of a movie I didn't see.
Do you want another line from the same movie or Or do you want me to share it again?
I think it sounds like we need another line
You're late, you're stunning, you're forgiven
You're late, you're stunning, you're forgiven
Is that one person said all three of those things?
No, two again, motherfucker
I'm multi-dimensional, dude
Sorry, Mark
Apologies, Mark.
Apologies, Mark.
So that's two.
You're late.
You're stunning.
You're forgiven.
Oh.
You're late.
You're stunning.
If I get... Fuck you, you're forgiven.
It's not unforgiven.
Do I get one guess?
Or can I...
No, guess as often as you like.
Sleepless in Seattle?
No.
Just throw it out.
Throw it out.
It's something more recent.
Jumanji.
No, we did that one before.
It took 17 fucking minutes.
You want another line?
You want another line?
Yeah.
You want another line? Audience, another line? Is it a love, there's a,
the,
bell, like Steve Carell,
I'm a stone running out.
Audience,
I'm gonna trust you.
Keep your mouth shut,
but put your hand in the air
if you already know what it is.
Okay,
one middle-aged man knows.
Good for you, too.
No,
because you know
the fucking classics.
Ready?
Here we go again.
Another line.
Two people.
I never, I never...
I never treated you like a prostitute.
You just did.
I never treated you like a prostitute.
You just did.
I love how you say it like it's one person saying all of it.
I never treated you like a prostitute.
You just did.
You just did.
Little known fact. Every movie I've ever done,
I also played every part.
And then they just cut the part that they wanted.
What was the first line again?
The very, very first one?
Yeah, yeah. It's been three.
Ish.
So what happens
after he climbs up and rescues her?
She rescues him right back.
So what happens
after he climbs up and rescues her?
She rescues him right back.
You want another fucking line?
Yeah. Okay, fine. Here we go.
We need to do this until they get the right answer.
Do you know it, Sarah?
Does anybody in this movie say the title of the movie?
I think, but it's not. We'll there okay ready it's maybe a Jennifer Aniston joint how
much 2,000 I would have paid for I know what this is how much 2,000 I would have
paid for can you give me directions? $50.
You can't do that.
Honey, I'm not lost.
I can do anything.
Prostitutes are a very good clue.
Pretty Woman.
Pretty Woman is correct! Pretty Woman.
Thank you, Mark Wahlberg.
Hey, Doug.
Doug.
Right.
It's when he's on the fire escape, and she says.
Yeah.
The next one I was going to do, I was just going to do a box closing and go, ha, ha, ha.
But I figured that would give it away.
Where are you going to be next?
Where are you going to do an impression of making an escargot fly across the room?
Does that happen in that movie?
Yeah.
Oh.
Who's going to be where?
Where are you going to be next?
Really? You're going to go wherever I go?
I'm just curious. Is that why you're asking?
I don't know. I'm just curious. Because I got a show in Nashville
on Saturday. Maybe I'll open a
Wahlburgers there.
But if not? I'm sure the show will be good without me.
Alright. Thank you, Mark.
Amazing. All right, thank you, Mark Amazing Wahlburgers in Nashville, that's fucking awesome
Well, yeah, it's about time
I don't know why there isn't one already
Makes sense
So Wheeler won that game
So that means he gets to go first in the next game
And it's called ABCD's Nuts.
It's a spelling game, sort of.
We're going to spell something, and when a letter gets to you,
you have to name any movie that begins with that letter,
and if you match the movie I wrote down in advance,
you win this game automatically.
Wait, what is the rules?
Yeah, what the fuck?
If I said what I just said over again,
you'd still not understand.
So I will just say...
Pretty woman.
We are spelling, in honor of Sarah,
and I saw it recently on Broadway,
enjoyed it a great deal,
School of Rock.
Yeah!
Which, have've seen the
Broadway show no use your microphone voice no it's really good it's really
good adaptation and your characters in it they changed her to a blonde lady and
I know right seems arbitrary that's, you're reading my face wrong.
It's just like, that's not a character change.
That's just the color of hair.
No, she's still a bitch.
Yeah.
She's just a blonde bitch.
They rewrote her as a blonde.
Yeah.
You don't hear that.
She's kind of, she's dumber than your version.
But she's, yeah, she plays pretty much the same role
and also doesn't get any songs really so i i felt like uh they left the character underdeveloped but it's a
really good show it's really fun and uh we're gonna that's what we're gonna spell so we'll
start with uh spelling school of rock yeah we'll start with wheeler and the first letter in school
of rock is s so you get to name any movie
that begins with the letter s if you can't accomplish that it'll move to sarah but but
it needs to i'm trying to guess what you put yeah sure you don't have to worry about it too hard
spinal tap uh see here's where we get into some trouble and i'm glad we've got an example of this
early on that film is called this is spinal tap oh i was testing you you caught you caught it yeah i knew you were testing me yeah
we wanted to make uh just playing the rules i appreciate it yeah so you need something it
actually begins with the letter s and um and then sarah will have to do The next letter In School of Rock And et cetera Okay
Yeah
I knew you'd catch on
So what do you got for the letter S?
Oh I thought she
I thought I lost
Oh it was an example
No I'll go to Eagle again
Oh okay
Sleepless in Seattle
Yeah
That begins with S
I went with
School for Scoundrels I was gonna
fuck would guess that funny that Sarah was gonna guess that all right so Sarah
you get the letter C what do you think cold mountain okay I went with college
road trip starring Martin Lawrence H is your letter Rob I'm gonna say
Hairspray
Very good
I went with
Higher Learning
O Wheeler
Any movie begins with O
There are many movies
To begin with
There's a few
Othello
Yes
My favorite film.
That's been filmed
a few times
but that's not
the answer.
I went with
oh.
It's been seen more
in school for scoundrels.
Somebody popped a balloon
back there I hope.
I went with
Oxford Blues.
I wasn't going to
Oxford Blues.
And we got another
O for Sarah.
Sounds like a Lifetime movie.
Oh, God, book two.
Oh, God, book two.
I like it.
I went with Orange County.
Orange County.
There's some collegiate stuff in there, I think.
L is the next letter for Rob.
Yeah, it is.
Any L movie. Sure is. Any L movie.
Sure.
The old L movie.
That M. Night Shyamalan movie,
Lady of the Lake?
Just because I love that
there's any reference
to that movie at all,
I'll let it slide,
but I think it's
Lady in the Water.
Sure. But I saw it earlier Lady in the Water. Sure. But I
saw it earlier. It was a lake.
I feel like that trailer has a...
The studio was like, can we move this to an apartment complex?
Can we put it in a pool?
We can't get the permit to shoot at that lake.
Does that trailer have the classic
child whispering in a scary
way? Yeah, the child's like,
zoom, zoom.
I just thought of another one
if you want a different one.
Oh, okay.
Labyrinth.
Okay, that's a good one.
I went with Legally Blonde.
Of course you did.
Yeah.
O for Wheeler.
Another O?
Another O.
Yeah, the Os are often in School of Rock.
I was going to say On the Waterfront, but this is on the waterfront, right?
Call back.
No, on the waterfront.
Okay.
That's a good one.
I went with old school.
Right.
F for Sarah.
Sarah.
I'm not like this guy who's constantly trying
to give me answers.
And I will say
a terrible movie
with lovely people in it
called Father's Day.
Oh, okay.
That's very nice of you.
I went with flirting.
Oh, flirting with disaster. That's a great movie. I changed mine. I I went with flirting Oh flirting with disaster
That's a great movie
I changed mine
I just went with
Straight up flirting
It's a movie about
A boarding school I think
R is your letter
Rob
Yeah
R for Rob
Yeah
And what movie
Begins with R
Rob
Rob Roy Yes movie begins with uh uh uh rob roy yes i said rudy oh great r movie back to you with o again
wheeler gets another oh i flew from nashville to los angeles to name six movies with oh
I flew from Nashville to Los Angeles to name six movies with O.
You can do it.
I feel good about your chances here.
O.
O.
You said O.
No.
Spinal tap is a T I'm serious
Am I crazy that I can't think
Of that many fucking home movies
A little bit
It's tough though
There's a lot of pressure
I had an O
And it was a sequel
Odd Couple
That's The Odd Couple
Yeah that begins with T
Everything starts with fucking The
That's alright I'll pass You can play again in the next game Yeah, that begins with T. Okay, everything starts with fucking the.
That's all right.
I'll pass.
Yeah, you can play again in the next game.
I'm confident we're going to get back around to it.
Why don't you just say, oh, God.
I said, oh, God, book two.
Yeah.
Book one.
It would have been easy to just say, oh, God.
But what do you got, Sarah?
For O.
Wheeler's out.
Oh, God. Okay. Oh, man. I went with C I was already with my scene I went with
Oh which is Othello but just the one letter Oh C is the next letter for you
Rob so when he said Othello earlier, is there
another movie called Othello? Yeah, sure.
There's a bunch of Othellos.
And then somebody came along and said, let's just call it O.
Because that's what the kids are looking for.
Kids don't like three
syllable titles.
They want to just have an O.
Okay, C.
Any movie that begins with C.
I had a good K, too. I really had a good K. Okay, C. C, yeah. Any movie that begins with C. I had a good K, too.
I really had a good K.
Okay, C.
Oh, fuck.
Does that mean that I'll have K?
Yeah.
Yeah, you will.
Get ready, girl.
Here it is.
This is it.
It's...
C.
Century? C. Century.
Century City.
Sent.
Sent.
It's not that.
That's an S.
Chicago. Chicago. Chicago.
Chicago.
You did it.
I went with college co-eds versus zombies.
Zombie housewives.
All right, K, Sarah.
Bring it home.
Clute.
Starring Jane Fonda,
beginning with a K
and Donald S
I went with
Kicking and Screaming
from 1995
what was your K?
Kentucky Fried Movie
oh my god
that was my first
sexual experience
wait
while watching?
yeah cause my dad
it was on like
wait cause your dad did I say because my dad was on like... Wait, because your dad...
Did I say because my dad?
Yeah.
What'd you say?
It sounded like you said because my dad.
Your dad had it on and your boyfriend...
At my dad's house.
He had things recorded
and my stepsister and I
watched it over and over and over
and then I remembered parts of it
while I was in bed with my doll, Rosie,
who was also my first
sexual experience. That's awesome.
Alright, fair enough. So all of my
answers are
movies that took place in some sort
of school. I was going to say, how do you
add trivia to IMDb? I'm going to add that
tonight.
This next game...
Answer his question, Doug.
Wheeler still gets to go first in this next game
because he won the previous one.
Oh, and no one won that one.
The object of that last one was to get the same one as you.
The object of that was to get the same one as you.
Yeah, that would have won it for you.
Well, now I know the rules.
Yeah, but now we're on to another game
that may cause more
confusion.
I'm going to start with you, Wheeler.
The game is called
Trey Ho or Trey No.
And I'll ask you individually
and it moves on to the next person after that.
What are you asking?
With each title.
Danny Trejo's in it?
I'll say a movie, and you have to tell me
whether it's Trejo or Tre-no.
Got it.
Is he in it, you mean?
Whether Danny Trejo is in it or not.
Okay.
We'll start with Wheeler.
Is Danny Trejo in The Firm starring Tom Cruise?
Trejo or Tre-no?
I gotta say no, right?
You say Tre-no?
Tre-no.
That is correct.
Rob, is Danny Trejo in...
I was going the other way.
Yeah, I switched the order up.
I'll get crazy on your asses.
Is Danny Trejo in Anaconda?
God.
Right?
Danny Trejo could be in anything.
And that's one of those movies that like...
He's an unstoppable force.
And he just shows up in things.
You'll be watching Modern in things you'll be watching
Modern Family
you'll be like
holy shit Danny Trejo
I
I'm going to say
Trejo
Trejo
meaning yes
that is correct
Sarah
regarding Henry
Trejo or Trejo oh shit I was gonna say Trejo but maybe Sarah, regarding Henry,
tre-ho or tre-no?
Oh, shit, I was going to say tre-no,
but maybe the traditional black guy that says, I'll help you walk again, was him.
No, I think it was a black guy.
I'm going to say tre-no.
Tre-no is correct.
Nice.
Remember Tom Giannis?
Is there a time for, is it okay to ask?
Sure.
I remember he had a great idea once.
He wrote for Saturday Night Live,
and he had an idea where he wanted to have the guy
who's in an accident and he can't walk,
and then the black physical trainer guy saying,
you know, it's going to hard and it's gonna be rough
and you're gonna wanna die sometimes,
but you will walk again.
And then the guy's like, well, that's okay.
Sorry, keep going.
Trejo, Trejo.
I'm good, I'm just gonna watch TV and not walk.
Wheeler.
Yeah.
Six days, seven nights. Trejo, Treino. Six days, seven nights.
Trejo? Trejo. Six days, seven nights.
I'm just going to go on my gut
here because it feels like it's time for a Trejo.
You think?
That's correct.
Wow.
Wow.
Rob? Yeah. Trejo or Trejo? Okay. Rob yeah
Trejo
Trejo
okay
Bubble Boy
that was
What's His Face's
first movie right
wasn't that
Early Gyllenhaal
Early Gyllenhaal
yeah
not his first film
I don't think but
early
maybe his first lead role.
There you go.
I love that movie, Demolition.
Did you guys see Demolition?
Was it good?
I liked it a lot.
Yeah, I didn't see it.
I liked it.
I was always kind of...
Weren't they offering that on streaming before it was even in the theater?
Or was it in the theater?
It was in theaters, but...
Yeah, I don't know the streaming situation on it, but I...
That does seem to be the way lately.
Yeah, that's what they do.
It's happening too much.
Simultaneous release.
I mean, I love it.
Okay, I have no idea.
Bubble Boy.
I have absolutely no idea, and therefore I'm going to say Trejo.
That's correct.
Trejo.
Now I've got to watch Bubble Boy.
He's in Bubble Boy.
Sarah, Richard III
I mean
My knee jerk reaction is Trey no
But I'm gonna say Trey ho
Your knee jerk was wrong Cause it is in fact Trey ho That, but I'm gonna say Trey ho. Your knee jerk was wrong, because it is
in fact Trey ho.
I'm so happy
that he's in that.
He plays a guy
who comes in and helps Richard III recover
from his
he helps him with his
hump situation.
Alright, Wheeler.
Trejo or Trejo?
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.
That's recent, so I'm going to say...
I think you'd only mention if he was in it,
so I'm going to say Trejo.
Oh, shit, I don't like this silence.
That's a great title for one of your next songs.
Oh, shit, I don't like the silence.
We'll split the publishing.
The answer is, what'd you say?
Well, I don't want to say the opposite, but I said Trejo.
The answer is Trejo.
No!
Fuck.
Yes, he was in
A Very Harold and Kumar 3D
Christmas.
Oh, that's what I was thinking.
Yeah, trick question.
Got you.
Got you good.
Rob?
Muppets Most Wanted.
That was his most recent Muppets, right?
That was a Muppets that happened most recently.
Was that with the Russian Tina Fey?
Russian Tina Fey.
I'm going to have to say Trey Ho.
That is correct.
Yes.
I don't know what just happened.
When does this game end?
How does it end?
It just ended, and I can't even,
I don't even know who the winner is.
Can we both win?
Can we have a tie?
I like it.
Let's play one last game for all the marbles.
It'd be great if Trejo would have walked in at the end
that would have been awesome too like oh i should have called him yeah and you could have
said you could have said doug loves movies and i would say trey no and then he walks in and says
trey ho he has been on douglas movies really yeah he was the best guest other than he's probably the
fourth best guest in the history of the show. Wow. Us three are
one through three. You guys are their top three.
Wow. That's amazing.
Who are the top three?
I know I'm not. I'm not fishing.
I know I'm like a million. I just said you guys
are. All three of you.
That's awesome. Thank you. That's a bet.
I live in the moment. Did you guys by the way notice
that after you guys called a tie
just to break it,
he missed it.
He's Doug Love movies,
he got it wrong.
He said Trejo,
he said Trejo.
I see your logic.
You know what I'm saying? He said that Trejo
wasn't in Doug Love's movies,
so I see what you give it to.
I like your logic a lot.
Yeah.
He finished the game
and fucked it up.
All for the sake of comedy.
Semi-comedy.
Comedy-ish.
Well, this next game
is going to decide it all anyway.
And, you know,
we had a lot of fun
with those first games,
but now shit's going to get real serious.
And you know that
everything's getting serious
at Meltdown Comics
when you start to hear the cricket.
I heard it a minute ago, but now it's gone.
That's the fucking thing about crickets.
Hey, cricket, how's it going?
Silence.
Okay, moving on. Cricket, cricket, cricket.
That's my impression of a cricket noise.
Do you do a good cricket noise, Wheeler?
No.
I never have tried to,
but I feel like I could.
You want to try?
I'd like to watch.
Give it a shot.
Are we doing fucking cricket noises?
Oh, no.
Mark Wahlberg.
Hey, Mark.
It's got a cricket noise.
I'll fucking get down on cricket noises.
I will dominate this fucking shit.
All right, give it a try.
Do a cricket noise.
Cricket noise.
All right, we get it.
Name the fucking movie, dude.
Oh.
Close the counters a third time?
It is A Bug's Life.
I'll see you later.
All right.
He really is the best at everything he does.
Best burgers, best cricket imitations,
best giant dong.
This last game is called Jason and Deb's IMDB game.
You know IMDB, but this is a fun game
that uses the top four that they
put at everybody's page as a game so I'm gonna start saying the top move the four
movies that are in somebody's top four buzz in with your own name Wheeler Sarah
Robb and if you get exactly if you guess correctly the actor or actress that I'm speaking of,
then you get a point,
and you also get a chance to get an extra bonus point
for every other movie you can name, and you only,
in that person's top four.
But here's where you don't want to buzz in early,
because if you guess wrong after, like, the first title or the second title,
negative one point
for you yeah
and we'll play till we have till we
played five rounds and there's a tiebreaker
ready to go because this is going to be
do you start with their number one or anything
you go in order you can you don't have to
go in order you just have to name something
in their top four do you
I'll name them in order yes
and then you have to name the person.
Being one, two, three, four, not four, three, two.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
I got really serious there.
Yeah, I don't know how serious they are about one, two, three, four.
They just say these are the four most known for.
Yeah, it's a weird system they use.
All right, so don't forget to buzz in with your own name
because that's the thing that throws people off.
They just yell out the name of the person.
But we got to make it orderly.
Okay.
Who's top four begins with Dawn of the Planet of the Apes?
Whoever is talking loudly in the Let's just shut this door
Green room
You don't need to
There's a whole comic book store out there you can yell in
Nobody wants to buzz in?
I like the cautious play, you guys are smart
You scared us
It's not always movies in somebody's top four
The second project
In the top four of this person
Is Felicity
Rob
Rob
Keri Russell
That's correct
So now you got one point for that
And you can get two more bonus points
for naming two more things
that are in Keri Russell's top four.
The Americans.
And another one?
And
Honey, I
Blew Up the Kids.
She's in that?
Yeah.
They didn't list that.
No, waitress, waitress.
They didn't list that either.
Settle down.
Sorry, sorry.
I told you this.
But you were correct
with the Americans.
So congratulations on that.
And her fourth project
in her top four
was August Rush.
I never want to.
Most known.
Do I get a half a point bonus?
For what?
Saying the Americans?
No, you got a point for Americans.
I get a point for it.
You have two points.
Wheeler and Sarah are tied with
considerably less than two points.
It's not fair.
He was in the fucking thing.
Yeah, you're right.
It's bullshit.
You're really out to get me.
Well, no, but it's like,
what are the chances
that number two, you're in?
Yeah, but I haven't won anything yet.
I don't even have an IMDB page.
Am I? It does seem unfair to me.
All right, here's the next round.
Who's number one in their top four on IMDb is Friends?
Jennifer, I mean Wheeler.
Okay, Wheeler, who do you think it is?
David Schwimmer.
Incorrect.
Sarah or Rob, you get to buzz in if you'd like.
I'll give you another title. got negative one for that wheeler I
I know you're gonna be pissed the second title in the top four is we're the Jennifer Aniston That's correct You gotta follow your gut Wheeler
That's what I know
I don't listen to my own thoughts
So you get
I'm so fucking pissed right now
You get
Two more Sarah
Get two more guesses
For two more possible points
Jennifer Anistonens top four
the good girl and who that's in her top four no I just want to hear both of your
guesses and then I'll tell you how you did and we're the millers is her number one oh it's her two after friends yeah friends
millers and of course who can forget the classic jennifer aniston oh uh how about i just watched
it yesterday or the day before uh he's just not that into you. Oh, okay, no.
They went with the Iron Giant and Office Space.
Oh, that's a great one.
Yeah, Office Space is classic.
All right, so Sarah has one point, Rob has two, and Wheeler.
Here's the next set of four.
Interest- Flair.
Sorry.
She didn't have enough flair.
Remember?
Sorry.
I'm not fully better yet.
Yeah, so you didn't wear enough flair in office space.
So we got Keri Russell, Jennifer Adeszen, and who was in Interstellar?
Good, I like your caution on this.
Am I out or am I...
No, you're back in.
Wheeler!
All right, man.
Interstellar.
I'm more excited.
I got the beginning.
Was that... I hope I'm thinking about got the beginning. Was that...
I hope I'm thinking about the right movie.
Is that Matthew McConaughey?
Yeah, he's an interstellar,
but that's not the right answer.
Ah, fuck.
Yeah, you get another negative point.
Fuck this guy.
Yeah.
You need to cool your jets, Wheeler.
You're out for the rest of this round.
The second movie
or project... Wasted Plain round. The second movie or project
from this actor
or actress
is Requiem for a Dream.
Sarah?
I haven't seen either movie.
I haven't seen either movie,
but I'm going to say Ellen Burstyn.
That's correct.
Who is she in Interstellar?
Oh, she's like grandma or something?
Yeah, she's definitely one of the older characters.
Alice doesn't live here anymore?
And?
And?
This guy's too excited.
I can't even.
You're probably not doing anything,
but I can't even.
Just block his face.
And... So helpful.
I don't
really know.
I don't know.
That's okay.
You don't have to guess.
Pass.
Was that in her top four?
Alice Doesn't Live Here?
Alice Doesn't Live Here anymore did not make her top four, but that is have to guess. Pass. Was that in her top four, Alice? Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore did not make her top four.
That is a terrific movie.
Fantastic.
But Martin Scorsese, she's a waitress.
They went with The Exorcist.
Spin-off was the comedy Alice.
They went with a little movie called The Exorcist.
Oh, right.
Yeah, and The Fountain.
The Fountain, I know.
Fun fact about Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore.
Of course, that movie was a Scorsese drama.
Spun off into a half-hour comedy with Linda Lavin.
The warm-up comedian for that three-camera live audience show,
Gary Shandling.
What?
So many fun facts.
And wasn't Flo in the movie too?
Mel was.
Well, she was in another one of my favorite movies.
Who, Flo?
Oh, Flo.
She was in the one and only.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, Polly Holliday.
One and only with Kurt Russell.
Wrestling movie ahead of its time.
Not Kurt Russell. Did I say Kurt Russell?
I meant Henry Winkler they're pretty much the same
so good
you can watch tons of it on YouTube it's so good
I got Kurt Russell on the brain
alright so Sarah has
two
Rob has two and then there's
Wheeler
with two
negative negative two Rob has two. And then there's Wheeler. With two.
Negative.
Nancy Wheeler.
Negative two.
Here we go.
You're back in it, Wheeler.
Top four.
Two broke girls. Oh.
Boy.
TV show.
Second title?
Thor.
I like where this is headed.
Third title?
Thor, The Dark World.
And one more to go.
Okay. Okay.
Rob.
Rob, who is it?
This is a real reach.
I don't know if this guy's even in any of these shows.
Garrett Morris.
Garrett Morris?
From SNL?
That's weird that that's not in his top three.
He's in Two Broke Girls.
Yeah, he is. You're right about that.
And SNL is the fourth.
But incorrect.
I thought he played Thor, no?
And the fourth title, for one point,
if the other two players can jump in,
The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
Garrett Morris.
You're sticking with Garrett Morris.
Sarah?
No.
All right, time's up
Kat Dennings
Oh really?
Yeah
Star of two broke girls
Right right that makes sense
Yeah it makes sense
That that would be her first thing
Yeah
Alright
What was she in 40 year old virgin?
Was she one of like the crazy dates?
Must have been
No she's the daughter of
Catherine Keener.
She's not having any of it.
Garrett Morris was robbed.
Yeah, he should have been.
Should have been a Garrett Morris category.
Alright, so here's
the last one. We'll go to a tiebreaker if need be,
but this should
cinch it if anybody
buzzes in.
Whose top four includes
Cloudy with a Chance
of Meatballs?
Who's that?
Okay, nobody.
Here's the next title.
Scary Movie 4.
Rob.
Anna Faris
that is correct
who he was in a movie with
yeah
he was in a movie with her
it's true
yeah
yeah
not fair
set up
two more
name two more
okay two more
which scary movie
was the second one you named scary movie four okay uh i'm gonna say
scary movie okay and also i'm going to say uh oh the one uh something bunny the house bunny house
bunny house bunny is correct that came in at number four but her
number three was actually mom the tv show mom with alice and jenny that i don't watch but i
love them both all right so that means that rob is our winner with four points
you did it rob
You did it, Rob.
Thank you, sir.
Thanks.
That means that Voyage to the Bottom of Chelsea
gets to come collect
all of her prizes.
You can't call that
wordplay, right?
I mean,
that's not wordplay.
That's just adding your name
to the last letter.
No, the C
is the end of the title.
Chelsea.
Chelsea.
The C.
Chelsea.
It's pretty good
you know what Chelsea
come get your stuff Chelsea
I owe you an apology well she's gonna have to come out to my car
and get her stuff yeah that's right you're gonna have to go out to his
car and you can get two items
so from my car and one of them
can be a quick make out session if you'd like
and then she gets all this stuff too
yeah she gets everything oh good job Chelsea
she wins it oh good job Chelsea congratulations Chelsea Rob what do you got going on what can people look for is what can they see
you in what's happening I am producing a series that I'm starring in with my friend Richard spate
and it's called kings of con and you'll be able to find it at Comic-Con
as starting a new online network.
Oh, very nice.
Called Comic-Con HQ,
and so it's going to be their first scripted show.
Kings of Khan as in C-O-N.
Exactly.
Yeah, and what do you play in the show?
It's loosely based on our real-life experiences
being actors in the convention circuit
because we're on the show Supernatural
and they do conventions all over the world.
So it's behind the scenes at fan conventions.
Nice.
The crazy actors.
That's a good place for a show, I think.
Oh my God, my niece, who's a woman, a grown woman,
loves that show.
Anyway, it's a great story.
Yeah.
She loves that show so much
and I see it all
the time on tnt because my bathroom tv is often on that channel oh sarah what's your next thing
we can look for uh have you got a movie in the can got a couple movies in the can i don't know
when they're coming out though there's that book of Henry. I think it doesn't come out until the summer.
And a movie called Battle of the Sexes,
which is about the Battle of the Sexes
with Billie Jean King and Bobby.
Who do you play in that?
I play Bobby.
I know.
I play a real-life woman named Gladys Heldman.
Who plays tennis?
She did play tennis, but
she was the one who, with
Billie Jean King, who was played brilliantly by
Emma Stone, tells
the
Tennis Association to go fuck themselves.
And then she
procures Virginia
Slims as the
women's tennis...
Oh, I'm so tired. I'm sorry. You know what I'm saying. She gets a cigarette company to sponsor women's tennis. Oh, I'm so tired.
I'm sorry.
You know what I'm saying.
She gets a cigarette company
to sponsor women's tennis?
Yes.
Very nice.
Yes, she does.
And that I'm excited about.
And I'm on Pete Holmes' new show, Crashing.
Crashing on HBO.
I've never had so many things to plug,
but really, I don't know when they come out.
And then something else on TV.
Oh, I'm on two episodes of Masters of Sex,
and I'm excited about it this time.
So turn on your TVs or go to the cinema,
and Sarah will show up.
Just be patient.
I guess I'm pretty great.
Yeah.
Who plays the guy in the tennis movie?
Steve Carell.
Bobby Riggs.
And he's incredible.
Oh, shit.
Those crazy big glasses
and the little perm and everything.
I don't know if he got a perm for it.
Didn't Bobby Riggs have, like,
permy hair?
Maybe.
Didn't he have...
Yes.
It's a good movie.
It's a much better movie
than this
conversation
is leading
I'm excited to see
a movie about that
I think it's a great story
and it's
Val
Jonathan and Val
right
the Little Miss Sunshine
director
great
very cool
can't wait
Wheeler
where can people
come see you
go to a website
get your tour dates
wheelerwalkerjr.com.
My album, Redneck Shit, which was a top ten.
Excuse me.
Debuting the top ten on the Billboard country charts.
Thank you very much.
That is so cool.
That is pretty awesome.
And help me get real filthy country back on the charts and buy it again.
Last week was not a good sales week.
Help me get real filthy country back on the charts and buy it again.
Last week was not a good sales week.
And touring the Southeast in mid-September
and then Midwest November.
Very nice.
Thank you for being here, dude.
One more time for all of my guests.
Rob Benedict, Sarah Silverman, and Wheeler Walker Jr.
Get your audience to vote Hillary.
What's that?
You've got a lot of power with that crowd to tell you.
Oh, Wheeler Walker should, in between the songs,
talk up Hillary Clinton?
Yeah.
That sounds like that would go over at a country show.
Yeah.
I think so.
Yeah.
You're being ridiculous Sarah
For you I'll try
On one show see what happens
By the way my tour just got cancelled
I think
Dixie Chicks can't carry the whole weight
Of the country scene
I don't even really understand
these shitheads.
There's two shitheads in a row
that I don't even know
what they're talking about.
But let's do it.
As always,
the cookie Nazi at Diddy Reese
is a shithead?
That's what I thought.
I didn't think that would resonate with anybody.
And traffic on the fast track.
Again.
See?
Nothing.
Is the fast track supposed to be fast?
It's like how you get that thing when you fly that gets you.
What's the thing you get when?
TSA pre?
Yeah.
No, everyone's TSA pre.
It's the longest line.
So everybody's fast track? Boom. Right?'s TSA Pre. It's the longest line. So everybody's Fast Track?
Boom.
Right?
I don't know.
I just assumed it.
I think you had a...
Did you have a hard time getting here tonight on Fast Track?
This morning.
This morning?
There you go.
All right.
She left this morning.
Is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
He's a bold and viewing crowd with fake-tip cockies.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.
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