Doug Loves Movies - Scoot McNairy, Martha Kelly, Mike MacRae and Geoff Tate guest

Episode Date: February 1, 2016

Live from the Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, TX, Doug welcomes Scoot McNairy, Martha Kelly, Mike MacRae and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Calif...ornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Three sisters, one murder, but which sister is hiding the deadly secret? Find out for yourself in You Don't Know Me, the new suspense novel by New York Times bestselling author Nancy Bush. If you can't get enough of thriller movies like Fatal Attraction, Gone Girl, Before I Go to Sleep, and Dark Places, you'll love the drama and edge-of-your-seat suspense in You Don't Know Me. This thriller will keep you questioning till the very last page. Pick up your copy of You Don't Know Me wherever books are sold or find out more online at kensingtonbooks.com or nancybush.net. Enjoy the show! If he sees with 50 guys or five more turtles in his teeth There's still not one that he won't sleep Because Doug loves police Hey, hey, hey, everybody. Was there some weird music playing or something?
Starting point is 00:01:18 I don't know what's happening. I was walking out of the green room like, I should go see if we're about to start. And that's when it started So I ran up here Ran right past BB-8 Could you just walk out on stage And just show everybody This amazing
Starting point is 00:01:40 BB-8 costume You ridiculous man. Yeah, just roll right out on the stage like you're that little son of a bitch. Look at him go. Nicely done. Here, grab one of those microphones And tell us what your name is My name is Brian
Starting point is 00:02:10 Brian and why did you do this? I'm a crazy person What can I say? I love it it's a great name tag BB8 Brian Brian BB8 All right let's hear it for Brian Good luck.
Starting point is 00:02:31 This might be a case of where all my guests fight to all get one particular name tag. Because, I don't know, maybe one or two of them won't care much about Star Wars. But that seems to be like a good little pro tip for future Doug Loves Movies attendees. Star Wars seems pretty popular with my guests. With my immature comedian guests. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Wow, that was, I sprung it on you and you still, you had waited all that time. Nobody was yelling it while BB-8, Brian-8 was rolling around. Coming to you once again from one of my favorite cities and comedy clubs, Cap City Comedy in Austin, Texas! it's stony sunday january 31st 2016 let me see those awesome name tags everybody else who who here today is second best to bri be bri bri bri by a that bri. That's a great one there. I can't make out much of it from where I'm sitting, but I can tell there's a lot going on.
Starting point is 00:03:51 And I think that might get chosen. We got, who's web instead of Charlotte? Jillian's web. And he put my face on the pig? Jillian's web? And he put my face on the pig? We got Mighty Misty What? Misty?
Starting point is 00:04:12 Mikey. Settle down Mikey. That says Mikey? There's a T in Mikey? Mike T. Joe Young He messed up. Hey, Mikey. He don't like it. What's the Guardians of the Galaxy?
Starting point is 00:04:32 Al? Your name's Al? So you slipped it right in there, you son of a bitch. We got Allison's instead of aliens from, she was in San Antonio yesterday, and it's a beautiful, it's one of the most beautiful name tags I've seen. And then, of course, there's Army of Dark
Starting point is 00:04:50 Knicks. Thank you to everybody for Wow, those are glowing quite nicely over there. Good luck. This is going to be a tough one for my guests. As you see, there's going to be four of them. But before I bring them out there and they all start yapping,
Starting point is 00:05:09 I'm going to do Doug's plugs. Los Angeles, this Tuesday night at 11 p.m. at the UCB Theater, the Franklin Avenue location. It's the debut taping of Julian Loves Music with Julian McCullough and special guests and then the next day that'll be out you know just like doug lowe's movies and we'll see you guys think if you like the same similar format but a different host and a different uh he's gonna have a sidekick i hear i don't have a sidekick the closest thing you know i have i have to a sidekick Is here today though You may have seen him smoking outside
Starting point is 00:05:46 And The next night, Wednesday night This very coming Wednesday I'm doing Doug Loves Movies At UCB At the more reasonable hour of 8 o'clock Yeah Julian's at 11 o'clock, that was a crazy time slot But maybe music fans
Starting point is 00:06:03 Can stay up late But I'm at 8 o'clock And I think there's going to be 5 or 6 guests That was a crazy time slot. But maybe music fans can stay up late. And I'm at 8 o'clock, and I think there's going to be five or six guests because a bunch of great people all just said... I feel like I always feel, like immediately in my head I go, you're acting like Donald Trump. When I saw it, I'm talking about, I got a lot of great people. It's going to change your life. It's going to be the greatest podcast
Starting point is 00:06:26 you've ever heard or witnessed so that's Wednesday night at UCB and UCBtheater.com is a place you can go for more details and tickets now it's time for tweet relief tweets about movies web monkey
Starting point is 00:06:41 Dave that's his twitter name that he went with, so he's already seemed pretty fun. Web Monkey Dave tweeted, Gods of Egypt is so white it's already been nominated for 12 Oscars. This has been a relief. Racist prognostication Edition. Prognostication. The prize bag, you guys, I, you know,
Starting point is 00:07:12 I used to, when I traveled, I wouldn't, the prize bag wouldn't be that great, at least initially, from my stuff. I'd just rely on my guests to bring the gold, but you're not going to believe
Starting point is 00:07:22 what I traveled with. First of all, you're going to have a bag that's covered in Tito's and soda. So that's pretty sweet. My friend Mike, who drove me here today, he had a VHS copy of the Curse of the Blair Witch sitting around. Yeah, Curse of the Blair Witch. Not to be confused with the entertaining Blair Witch Project,
Starting point is 00:07:45 which is only so entertaining at this point. While we're on a VHS tear, I brought all the way from Los Angeles an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer from the Warner Brothers Television Network. The episode called Who Are You? No question mark. That probably didn't get answered. A Douglas Movies t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:08:12 And straight from the Adult Video Awards in Las Vegas, straight from my friend Janice Griffith gave me a shirt I'd never wear in public. Hashtag Team DP. You know, it's Austin. You can walk around and stuff like that. Nobody's going to be like, what's DP? A cookie that they gave me on the plane
Starting point is 00:08:46 That I didn't want to eat Is in the prize bag Also a mini Snickers That got into my possession somehow This is one of my favorite things That I've had in a prize bag I went to see J-Lo in Vegas on her opening night, and I'm sure she does this every night
Starting point is 00:09:12 because it's a spectacular way to end a Vegas show, but this is what was shot at me. I just left the theater without taking any of it off and walked all the way back to my hotel in Vegas covered in this stuff. Yeah, so it's all in the bag. The stuff they shoot out of cannons at the end of J-Lo's Vegas Spectacular.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Tickets available. I'm going to get them to be a sponsor of the show. The show's called All I Have, I think, but it should just be called Here's My Ass. She's not shy about it. I think I've said that on the podcast before. Maybe even in Vegas.
Starting point is 00:10:02 All right. Let's get my guests out here it's another stellar lineup that you guys are going to love please give a big warm welcome to mike mccray martha kelly scoot mcnary and jeff tate Yes. Sit anywhere you'd like. No pressure. Well, this worked out great. I like to have Jeff as far away from me as possible. Can I just point out that I had to explain to Jeff Tate
Starting point is 00:10:49 what DP meant right a few minutes ago? He asked, wouldn't that even mean? Yeah, and what'd you tell him? He said it was where they put a penis into a vagina and a butthole. Like two dicks. One for each. And I was shocked how
Starting point is 00:11:07 creeped out I was by that. I was like, I had to explain that to someone. I felt gross. It's hard for me to imagine that you said it the same way Jeff just did, though. You have to explain sex things to Jeff and Jeff voice for him to understand. Yeah, it's Yes, we take...
Starting point is 00:11:26 Oh, you almost did a Jeff Tate impression? Hopefully I'll have one by the end of this. Oh, okay. Yeah, let's all listen to Jeff Tate everybody. Jeff Tate is here! Jeff Tate is here! Hello!
Starting point is 00:11:42 Hey, Austin. Keeping it weird. Yeah. You're the old bee on today's episode. You're the frequent guest. The guest that wouldn't leave, as it were. Yep. And we love having you.
Starting point is 00:11:56 That's why I sit way down here. The listeners love you. It's like you're becoming sidekick-y. That's fine with me. All right. I'll be a sidekick. becoming sidekick-y. That's fine with me.
Starting point is 00:12:04 I'll be a sidekick. We recorded an episode of Douglas Minis in the rental car today, Jeff and I. That'll be available tomorrow-ish. Tomorrow? Yeah, but people are going to hear this tomorrow, so it'll already be available. That's wild. That's like Looper.
Starting point is 00:12:22 It's so... I'm in a constant looper movie. Thanks for being here, Jeff. As always, you can go ahead and go off on your own. You don't have to follow me everywhere. Every weird guy hires an opener and says, Hey, quit following me. Get the fuck out of here. You hired me.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Yeah, well, you know, you know what I mean. Sometimes I like to do shows people come to. You just gotta, yeah, you gotta leave the nest, though, and I hear some very nice people come out to your shows. Very nice people, yes. That was a show you did in,
Starting point is 00:13:04 where was it? Providence? Providence. I met both of those people that came out to that show. Man, there was like 12. But it was at 4.30 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. So that's 12 people that left work early or don't have jobs.
Starting point is 00:13:26 First time guest, Martha Kelly is here, everybody. You're on a program on FX called Baskets with our friend Zach Galifianakis and it's already people already love it and it's very exciting, love it and it's very exciting, right? It is really exciting, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:49 I just wanted you to say, talk about how excited you were while not sounding excited at all. Which is that's part of why you're so hilarious is that demeanor and they captured Zach just said I want Martha and you got the part right?
Starting point is 00:14:06 Yeah. That's awesome. He just called me out of the blue. That's perfect. I'm really lucky. Yeah. It pays off to be nice to a little weirdo like that. Definitely. But yeah and I can't wait to see every episode. I think only one is aired so far
Starting point is 00:14:24 or two? Two so far. Or two? Two so far. Two so far. And how many did you do? Ten. Ten. And they're saying more already, or they're waiting? I think that, um, I don't know. It's on regular FX, which is already great,
Starting point is 00:14:38 because when they put you on FFX, or whatever they call it. Is it FXX or FFX? FXX. FFXX! FXX is where you take a penis and a vagina. Ah!
Starting point is 00:15:02 Fair enough. I had a real serious line of questioning for Martha, but I don't remember now. That's okay. But congratulations on that, and thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. Have you heard this program at all? Yes. Okay, so you know what you're in for.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Yes. It's going to get very confusing. Yes. And intense. Yeah, I forgot one thing, but I might have fixed it, but probably not. But anyway, you'll find out.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Let me just leap ahead. Did you forget to bring something for the prize bag? Yeah, but I found something. I found something in my purse. That's perfect. It's not really great, but it is a gift. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:48 No, that's part of the fun, is it's just random items. It's the only thing in the prize bag that I really want. Well, you can have it if you really want it. That's Scoot McNary, everybody. Yay! Scoot McNary, everybody! Very excited to have him here. He's an actor that you've seen so many times,
Starting point is 00:16:15 you don't even know it. Like, he's been in movies where you didn't know he was in there. Total chameleon, which could be good or bad for a career, right? He's just sitting there laughing. Like, you know how chameleon, which could be good or bad for a career, right? He's just sitting there laughing. Like, you know how chameleons are. They just sit on a rock and laugh. Is that why he was trying to sell me car insurance outside?
Starting point is 00:16:36 Or is that a different lizard? It's like I'm not even here. But there's also, you're on the program on AMC, Halt and Catch Fire. Halt and Catch Fire. Halt and Catch Fire, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:54 And yeah, so now that you're living here, I was able to snare you for this. You're good friends with Steve Agee. So I kind of tricked the two of you. Not tricked, but I just said to each of you, I got the other guy to be on Douglas movies in Austin. Are you into it? And you both said, yeah, let's do it. And then it's been a rocky road ever since. Cause you've always been on the fence. You've always been on the fence. And Steve, who is all in, uh, just found out because he's in the guardians of the galaxy volume two, he has to shoot that bullshit
Starting point is 00:17:22 instead of being here with us today. So yeah, so it was a great break for Steve, but it didn't work out good for us. But I'm so glad you're here because we met at Fun Fun Fun Fest and I just, you know, maybe a year or two before that, I'd finally figured out,
Starting point is 00:17:43 oh, that's Scoot McNary. You know what I mean? Like, you see names and credits all the time. Like, in Promised Land, you're like, oh, hey, what's up? You're like a total... Like, you live in Iowa or some shit, and, you know, you really are different all the time.
Starting point is 00:18:01 So what did you think when you finally saw me? That I was excited. To me, it was like, that's Scoot. I didn't have to be like, who the fuck is that? Why does he look so familiar? You were at first, because I introduced myself and I was like, Scoot. And you were like, oh, hey.
Starting point is 00:18:15 And then you were like, oh, hey, wait a second. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It all came together rather quickly. Yeah, I realized right away what I was dealing with and and I liked it and I probably asked you to do this podcast like two minutes after meeting you yeah yeah yeah you live in Austin come on the next time I'm in town because that's great because you were because you were nice to me like You clearly knew who I was. I did, because Edmund Young, who produced, I think, a comedy tour
Starting point is 00:18:48 that you did about five years ago for Comedy Central, I think? Maybe. Maybe. Anyways. You asking me? We were coming down to your shows at, I don't know the name of anything.
Starting point is 00:19:07 UCB? UCB. UCB. UCB Theater out in LA. So I knew who you were before. Yeah, yeah. That's great. I love it.
Starting point is 00:19:17 Let's move on from there. The old mutual at-mo society. That's fantastic and also new to the program. And so patient. Probably working up impressions of all of us. It's Mike McRae, everybody. Hello. Hello.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Local vocal phenom. What's your... What's your favorite Can I use that? What's your favorite impression that you're doing these days? Uh, probably Michael Douglas What? Go, do it
Starting point is 00:19:58 Well, let's start talking about movies And then we'll see where it goes from there I thought this was a podcast let's start talking about movies and then we'll see where it goes from there. I thought this was a podcast about movies. I like movies about fucking. Remember that movie? More money. More money.
Starting point is 00:20:26 More money and fucking. It's sort of my favorite. What was that movie where you had to lower your junk? I'm talking to Michael Douglas. What was that? It's easy to fool the listeners. When you had to like, you like sprayed your junk in a bidet because you got something happened to you. Do you remember which one that was?
Starting point is 00:20:46 Unfortunately, I myself am not a Michael Douglas movie expert. But I'm going to guess... Michael Douglas doesn't know? I know it's rather odd. Michael Douglas has probably sprayed his bag with all kinds of stuff.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Cameras. If I had to guess, it'd be romancing the stone. Because I was in a jungle. Am I right? I literally don't know the fucking answer. Did you ever say the words money never sleeps in Wall Street 2? Because that is the worst title ever. I did, but they cut it out.
Starting point is 00:21:40 So then I tried to work it back in. Look, don't make the same mistake, side. Money never sleeps. And then they'd say, cut. We're not doing that. I'm like, yes, we fucking are. I'm Michael Douglas. Money never sleeps.
Starting point is 00:22:02 I don't know what it means, and I don't know what it means And I don't fucking care This is a thousand dollar glass of wine Thanks Michael For stopping by I'd love to have you for the whole show sometime We could do that now For stopping by. I'd love to have you for the whole show sometime. We could do that now.
Starting point is 00:22:32 It's your show, Kimo Sabe. Make a fucking choice. Yeah, you gotta go for sure. All right. You gotta leave. He's gone a time. Scoot is in Superman vs. Batman. Yeah, more words. What's the whole title? Do you know the whole title? I didn't ask you
Starting point is 00:23:08 What are the odds there's more than one scoot in the room? This is Texas, it's not that bad What are the odds there's only one Scoot? I'm also Michael Douglas. So what are you doing, heroes in the morning? Oh, man, I... Are you allowed to tell?
Starting point is 00:23:43 Yeah, I can't. I would love to say everything about it. Well, I'll tell you what. We'll get you another drink. Okay. Now, this Batman vs. Superman movie, is it true that it's just a custody battle? They're a kid. Like, they have a kid.
Starting point is 00:24:03 There's a kid involved here. Kramer vs. Kramer versus Kramer. Kramer. I love that you felt you had to tell us how you knew about custody battles. Yep. But that's all
Starting point is 00:24:25 We're gonna get out of you on that Yeah Are you in it because Of your bond that you formed with Mr. Ben Affleck While making Argo Fuck yourself And Gone Girl I don't know
Starting point is 00:24:41 I mean I definitely think maybe that had something to do with it Yeah that's cool. Yeah. Love it. But, yeah. I'm hearing good things. You hear it's good? I hear it's good.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Yeah. The script was really good. God, I just can't say too much about it. Yeah. No, I understand. Yeah. It's just, you know, you throw it out there in case he's, you know, hoping that you slip up and say something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:04 And if you keep hammering me, I'm know hoping that you slip up and say something yeah and if you keep hammering me i'm sure eventually i will slip up and say oh don't say that to me because i i got other things i got other things i want to do i just i just have to do them i have one question about it i'm not that guy is just going to hammer you about that guy is jeff wins. And if it's Batman, how? Yeah. How does he win? Who gets custody? Who gets custody of grieving life?
Starting point is 00:25:40 Gotham City? Let's ask Martha what she thinks. Between Superman or Batman, who do you think's going to win? Well, doesn't Superman have superpowers? He sure does. It seems like he probably would win then. Yeah, but you know, it might be more of a psychological battle. I don't imagine that. a psychological battle.
Starting point is 00:26:07 I don't imagine that. Who has more street smarts? I mean, Batman is rich. He can buy anything, you know? Superman has to be like, hey, I need a quarter for coffee. He could just take everybody's money whenever he wants to, though. He's stronger than everyone.
Starting point is 00:26:21 They both can. It's too bad they're fighting each other because they could just fight everybody. They could just be in charge. Like, Trump is sort of like them. Is that what happens, Scoot? Do they team up? Yeah. It's a lot
Starting point is 00:26:36 like Trump. Of course they team. They gotta get back together in the end. Why? They didn't in Kramer vs. Kramer Alright, one more question For Scoot You haven't seen this film yet So it won't qualify for your answer Of all the films you've been in What's your favorite? You haven't seen this film yet, so it won't qualify for your answer.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Of all the films you've been in, what's your favorite? The Rover. Tell the truth! Tell the truth! Now, The Rover sounds familiar. Why haven't I seen it? Is it a small indie film? I don't think so. I mean, what's
Starting point is 00:27:26 that classified these days? Who's in The Rover? Rob Pattinson and Guy Pearce. And it's a film that David Michaud directed. Has anybody seen this movie? Yeah. You like it? Yeah, there you go.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Thanks. Good. And that's why it's my favorite. I like it. That's good. We all learned something. We can all check it out. Yeah, that sounds great. How many times have you been killed in a movie?
Starting point is 00:28:00 And is one of them Batman versus Superman? A lot, and I don't know. Oh, reshoots. No, Jeff, you were just telling me today that everyone in Usual Suspects thought they were Kaiser Soze. And so you know that that's probably what's going on with Scoot
Starting point is 00:28:24 is he probably doesn't even really know. Holy shit, do you think you're Batman in this movie? Is that how Zack Snyder did it? He made everyone think they were Batman? And the man from Uncle was Superman? Is that the right guy? Am I done?
Starting point is 00:28:39 I wouldn't be a very good Batman. Why? It's a suit. You just put that uniform on. You could beat up Michael Keaton. I wouldn't be a very good Batman. Why? I mean, I'm, you know, a buck fifty. You just put that uniform on. You could beat up Michael Keaton. I was going to say, have we forgotten Michael Keaton? Yeah, it's doable. Yeah, but Ben was huge on the movie.
Starting point is 00:28:56 I mean, he like really looked the way. Right, he's a real towering figure. Like huge, yeah. Probably had high heels. Like Batman. You know, even without the suit on. Did people think that Mark Zuckerberg, dude, Lex Luthor, was kind of chewing the scenery a little bit?
Starting point is 00:29:12 Because it kind of looks like that in the trailers. I think that's probably what they asked him to do. He's chewing the scenery a little bit. Chewing the scenery? What do you mean? Well, like at lunchtime, would he say, no thanks, I'm full? Would he eat things on
Starting point is 00:29:28 set? Like staplers and shit? Like a goat? Was his character like Jerry Seinfeld and he could only act if he was holding an apple? How do y'all know about all these stories that happen? Oh, I'm making everything up. I don't know how anybody else knows stuff. Everything I've said, I've made up.
Starting point is 00:29:45 I've never seen Kramer vs. Kramer. What about X vs. Sever? Nope, I've never seen that. The only versus movies I've seen is... Alien vs. Predator? No. There's no way you have not watched that movie. I haven't. It looks scary.
Starting point is 00:30:10 And it wasn't produced by Team DP. True. They just fuck one at a time in that movie. That's not what I meant. What is it, the 1700s? It's a very puritanical movie. I need to just take a second to tell Martha to settle down.
Starting point is 00:30:32 And tell us, what was the last movie you saw in any format? Well, last night, I saw part of Titanic in a movie theater in Austin at the Master Pancake Show. Oh, why? Moto Panakeku!
Starting point is 00:30:53 Why did you, why did you just see part of it? Uh, cause they have to edit it cause their show is two hours and the movie's- You saw a shorter version of Titanic, but you got the gist of it. Yeah, I've seen it. They probably showed it leaving the harbor and then going into the water, yeah. But did they cut a lot of the stuff
Starting point is 00:31:12 with the old lady and throwing the thing off the edge of the boat and all that? Because that'd be a good thing to cut. They cut the first half hour in the movie. Oh, that's perfect. Let's just get on the boat. We don't need to meet these people that are... We don't need to know who Rose is going to make perfect. Yeah. Let's just get on the boat. We don't need to meet these people that are... We don't need to know who Rose is going to make it.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Yeah. Right? Wouldn't it have been even more thrilling if you thought that Kate Winslet could die? Yeah. Oh! I'm so passionate about this. Two more words about that movie.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Billy Zane. Yeah. Who knew the Titanic? Of all their problems, there was also a guy running around with a gun. Did you like it? It was fun to watch Pancake make fun of it, I assume. Yes, I've seen it before,
Starting point is 00:32:15 and there's one part that still made me cry, unfortunately. Even while those guys are making relentless jokes? Yeah, because of the song. I actually forgot I had bought The Heart Will Go On on iTunes and I still have it and I couldn't listen to it today because I was afraid it would make me cry. Was it made more poignant because knowing
Starting point is 00:32:33 the person who sang it, their husband and brother just died within two days of each other? I was just, my cat died last week. That's what I was crying about. Well, it's true. I hope most of us weren't even thinking about Celine Dion's
Starting point is 00:32:49 recent losses. I didn't know that. That hadn't sprung into my head. I was sitting here trying to make jokes about next season on baskets. If you have a crying scene, you know, you know, you go to just say, ask him to play that song for you.
Starting point is 00:33:05 I don't think they'll ever write anything where I have to actually act. Have emotion? Yeah. There's nothing like that happening. Mike, what was the last movie you saw, sir? I'm not sure the time. The last movie I saw the past two times
Starting point is 00:33:23 in the theater was Star Wars. You just keep seeing it? I saw it once with me, once with my son. You saw it once with me, did you just say? Just me, alone. And the second time I saw it with my kid. Yeah, that's pretty smart. Yeah, I'm not going to...
Starting point is 00:33:39 Because, you know, if you wanted to leave... You want to masturbate the first time. And then other than that, I saw Inglourious to masturbate the first time. And then other than that, I saw Inglourious Bastards for the first time. You finally got around to it? Yep. And like, so, you know, that movie made Christoph Waltz
Starting point is 00:33:55 what he is today, like it or don't. Now looking at it with the perspective of seeing a bunch of his performances, is it as amazing as we thought it was? I've seen him, I guess I've seen him in three things. The Leigh Spahn movie. Django. Django, and then that one.
Starting point is 00:34:14 And then, yeah, that was pretty great. Oh, you got it? I'm working on it. Why wouldn't I? I don't know. He's in a commercial, too. What?
Starting point is 00:34:28 Christoph Waltz is in a commercial for something. Burger King, maybe? I don't know. You see, the problem is, if you want to bring these things up, you might want to have an idea of what you're talking about before you bring it up in the first place. I've been doing this show for years, and I've never done that. I've never known what I was
Starting point is 00:34:46 talking about before I started talking. But yeah, he was definitely the highlight of that entire movie. This is my impression of Christoph Waltz walking through a room where there's a mouse. Yee! Yee!
Starting point is 00:35:21 Oh, that was fun. There's this guy, Ross Marquand, who on, I saw it on Twitter, but you know, it's out there on the internet, does short impressions of different people, so now I'm always trying to think of short impressions. This is Christopher Walken finding out that his flight had been cancelled.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Why? Why? Yee! What was the last movie you saw, Scoot? I'm watching True Detective right now. Oh, great movie. But that same dude, you're talking season one? Uh,
Starting point is 00:36:28 the Woody Harrelson, the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, season one. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:36:33 there's, cause there's a whole another season. Oh yeah? Yeah. People didn't like it as much. Oh.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Yeah. Well, the one I'm watching is really good. Right? How far, how deep into it are you? What can we spoil for you?
Starting point is 00:36:47 Oh, I don't want to tell you. I'm on episode six. Oh, okay. Out of ten? Out of nine, right? Okay. I think there's three DVDs. Oh, all right.
Starting point is 00:36:57 It's really good. You want me to take it right now or do that fucking killing? I don't believe it. I mean, if you want to... I will ruin this show for you. If you want to spoil something, you can spoil something in episode seven. But don't take it to the end.
Starting point is 00:37:15 I wouldn't do that to anybody. I don't believe in cruelty. I don't believe in cruelty. I believe in cruelty and cruelly psych. But you have seen the dude already. What are you doing? Whoa. Slow down. Slow down your Chrysler.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Booger fingers. I never watched season one, but i watched season two in its entirety because i get in late and stick around when it's not necessary and um i don't know there were some rewards in the second season i i found strangely enough but i gotta go back and watch season one. So you're saying that's the movie you're watching. It feels like a movie to you. Yeah, yeah. I think it absolutely feels like the nine-hour movie. Same director guy did Beasts of No Nation,
Starting point is 00:38:14 which is also very good. Which I hear is really good. I haven't seen that yet. There you go. Well, you're one of the people. What's out in the theater right now? I'm trying to think of what I have seen. Well, it's January, so it's garbage. Tomorrow's February, and in about a week or so, two weeks maybe, Deadpool opens.
Starting point is 00:38:31 And that's our first shot at a good movie this year. I think. I could be wrong. Are you guys into the Benghazi movie? Kung Fu Panda 3. Kung Fu Panda 3? You're into that? You should be watched. If you're excited about it.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Do you have children? If you're excited about Kung Fu Panda 3, that's somebody that's going to take a gun into a public space. What was the other one you said? Oh, Zoolander? When's that open? 9th or something? Or 8th?
Starting point is 00:39:12 That might be good. Hail Caesar. Hail Caesar is going to suck. Whoa, why? Why do you think that? Why do you think that? Because I just don't think period, wacky Coen brothers ever works.
Starting point is 00:39:28 I like period. Period serious, Miller's Crossing is amazing. And then modern comedy like Raising Arizona is incredible. But Hudsucker Proxy blows, man. So does The Lady Killers.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Oh, brother, we're out there's all right. Oh, it was great. Because it's just so, has so much weirdness in it. True Grit. Funny as KKK. True Grit, World Country. True Grit. Now they're just naming their movies?
Starting point is 00:40:00 Well, how good? This isn't Last Man's Tent. X, Y, how good! This isn't Last Man's Tent. X, Y, Z murders! It's got George Clooney in it. Come on. Anyway, they're amazing filmmakers, but they're putting it out in February and it's got this amazing cast.
Starting point is 00:40:20 If it worked at all, they would have saved it for an awards season. Unfortunately, that's how cynical the business is at this point. Maybe it'll be a laugh riot, but are the ads making you laugh? Or are they just making you go, well, at least ScarJo's in a bathing suit.
Starting point is 00:40:41 George Clooney's all like, I'm one of the smartest actors that ever lived Come on You ever work with Clooney, Scoot? Yeah, a couple times Are you in Hell, Caesar? Do you want to work with him again? Yeah
Starting point is 00:40:59 I'll tell you this I love how he throws himself into dumb guy roles, but in Burn After Reading, I didn't buy it for a second that he was a dumb guy. That's another one we didn't mention. What about... Yeah, I thought he was great in The Descendants. You bought that.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Yeah, he kind of got... When he's running in the flip-flops, that was pretty awesome. I like The Descendants more... You just like his action sequences. I like Descendants more every time I watch it. It just gets better and better and richer and richer the more I see it.
Starting point is 00:41:31 But I find that of all that guy's movies. Sideways is one of my movies I can watch over and over again. Remember when he drove that car into another car in The Peacemaker? He like flipped it. Or no, he jumped it backwards after they killed Armin Mueller
Starting point is 00:41:45 Stahl. Fuck, that was dope. Yeah. I have a question. Was George Clooney Batman one time? Mm-hmm. Thanks, Martha. Now that's the kind of guest I like.
Starting point is 00:42:17 Jumps in with something pertinent. He's happy to move on from there. And I guess I still have to ask Jeff what the last movie he saw was, even though I think I know the answer. Have we been together for the last couple days? I saw Laser Team was the last one I saw in the theater. But then what'd you watch last night? Usual Suspects.
Starting point is 00:42:35 Yeah. On HDNet Movies. That's a solid channel. Spy Game was on after Usual Suspects. It was like I picked the movies. Usual Suspects. Why is there the guy in Usual Suspects, it was like, I picked the movies. Usual Suspects, why is there the guy in Usual Suspects is named Dean Keaton, and there's a Dean Keaton street in Austin,
Starting point is 00:42:51 which just feels cool. Like, was it always called that, or did they change it when that movie came out? It's the same guy. Same guy. How could that be? Yeah, wait a second Yeah I think you're
Starting point is 00:43:09 Fucking with me dude Have you been up to Kobayashi Boulevard What the fuck There's a lot of good Stuff up there I have not I'm going there
Starting point is 00:43:18 He lost the weight With an Asian name I didn't believe that movie From the beginning I knew they were lying I spent a lot of time At a Hockney's record shop. That's another one. Never mind.
Starting point is 00:43:27 I fucked up. I went too far with it. Sorry. Sorry, everybody. Hey, can you bring up a coffee mug up here so we can drop and break for effect? And then the bottom of that coffee mug just has Batman versus Superman questions. Thanks for saving that. I saw Dirty Grandpa.
Starting point is 00:43:46 Now's the part of the show where I say... What, Jeff? Prize bag. I'm trying to move on. I got laser team stuff for the prize bag. Everybody's got stuff for the prize bag. I almost forgot. This is a good thing that you have a sidekick.
Starting point is 00:44:11 We could have done it after the name tag selection. I'm smooth like that sometimes. Probably not today. I'm not. Because Austin weed is pretty good. But what do you got there, Jeff? I got a laser team beer koozie
Starting point is 00:44:28 and a bag of buttons. And that's my laser team stuff. Laser team was made by Rooster Teeth, which I guess is local. It's pretty good. It's a pretty good movie. And I got a stitch kit from speakersilence.org,
Starting point is 00:44:41 which you can buy from me after. It also helps out that. It's an organization that provides pro bono counseling to the adult survivors of child sex abuse. So, good for that. Wow. I know. It's interesting that you've added this with your hand
Starting point is 00:44:58 while saying child sex abuse. Like, are you raising the roof or raising money for an important cause? And also he's including a Make the Rounds poster from his current tour with other frequent Douglas movies guests, Emma Arnold. Emma Arnold, who picked the, did anybody bring a drone for a name tag?
Starting point is 00:45:20 I hope not, because that was scary. Oh man, when she flew it into the ceiling, that was the funniest goddamn thing I ever saw. She just, like, hit the gas, and it just, like, shot way up into the ceiling, and it was this guy's precious drone. Scoot, what do you got for the prize money, sir? You know, I looked for all kinds of, like, movie paraphernalia.
Starting point is 00:45:42 I know, you don't have all your stuff with you here in Austin. Yeah, so I had this, you know, I go to Bass Pro Shops like twice a week because I love that store. Sometimes I just go there just to walk around. And I brought this Carhartt wallet, which is going to be sweet for him. It's a Carhartt
Starting point is 00:46:06 wallet? Oh man, that thing is... I'm taking it out right now. Yeah, we believe you that it's in there. What are some of the special features on the wallet, or is it all about the tin can that it comes in? I was going to say, the tin can is kind of the sweetest part about it, because it's got this old train on there,
Starting point is 00:46:24 and it's stuff you can... you guys can store stuff in there for the tin can i don't know like change or something that'd be cool change you can believe in hey i just remember remembered Jeff and I saw Our Brand is Crisis together Oh, yeah Yeah, we went to the Three Dollar Theater In, uh
Starting point is 00:46:51 Where were we? Wow, that wasn't me That wasn't Three Dollar Theater It just came out That wasn't me I never saw that movie Oh, yeah, it wasn't you It's good though, right?
Starting point is 00:47:03 There's two guys That are auditioning To be my sidekick And it was him Holy shit, this is an audition? I mean, it's ongoing, you know I don't want a sidekick, but If I ever decide to have one
Starting point is 00:47:16 Oh, it's a canvas Past case wallet Yeah, they're really rare Canvas Past case wallet Great kind What do you got, Mike? Yeah, they're really rare. Canvas, pass, case, wallet. Great kind. What do you got, Mike? I have a DVD of a comedy movie called Punching the Clown,
Starting point is 00:47:33 made by a very funny Henry Phillips, which I have a small role in it. That's why I have a bunch of these. But it really is one of the best independent comedies made in a while. I got a Millennium Falcon bottle opener. And a koozie for the Moon Tower Comedy. The very first Moon Tower Comedy Festival has become an institution in this town now. This is from the very first one they ever did.
Starting point is 00:48:02 So now this is a collector's item. I'm putting these all together in one package there for the gift bag. Oh, this is going in the bag, you guys. Except two of these items I think I'm going to keep. Martha? I know it's been a lot of buildup. I apologize. Well, at first first I want to
Starting point is 00:48:25 Second the thing about How great punching the clown is Yes punching the clown watch it And then also Add an apology Because I just realized while Jeff was Talking that I have some golden girls Refrigerator magnets at home
Starting point is 00:48:42 And I should have brought them But That's always great to tell them what I should have brought them. That story's great to tell him what you should have brought. Motherfucker. Hey, was that Bea Arthur? It's the same voice. You can do the same voice for two people sometimes.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Shut the fuck up, Rose. Shut the fuck up, Rose. And you're a fucking whore. You have to go deeper than your natural voice to nail her. What do you got, Martha? Well, so I have a really weird bracelet that a friend's child made for someone else and he gave it to me for some reason. If that does anything for you.
Starting point is 00:49:33 I also would be happy to add $5 cash. Just to sweeten it. And I live in Austin, so if whoever wins the prize bag lives in Austin and you want, I'll mail you the Golden Girls magnets. But you can't tell any... We have to pretend I didn't.
Starting point is 00:49:54 You can literally get an IOU from television star Martha Kelly. That's a very rare thing. That's actually worth it in and of itself. That's all. Sorry, guys, but thank you. All right, all of that is in the bag. Like, a life experience is now in the bag. Because you can continually interact with Martha Kelly
Starting point is 00:50:19 if you choose to, if you want to drag it out. I love how the name tags are creeping up. I have to ask, what are the... Well, that's what I'm about to do, dude. I'm about to say... Let the games begin! Bring your name tags out of the shadows! Can we get that house lights up a little bit?
Starting point is 00:50:48 So here's what you have to do. Hang on. Be quiet for a second, you guys. I have to explain to Scoot what's happening. You have to pick one of these people, Scoot, to play for. Pick the name tag you like the best and grab it and bring it back to your seat. And while everybody does that we're going to take a quick commercial break we'll be right back hey everybody today's
Starting point is 00:51:11 episode is brought to you in part by adamandeve.com you can make this valentine's day one that you'll both never forget with this amazing offer from adamandeve.com through Valentine's Day you'll receive 50% off just about any item just go to Adam and Eve.com and you'll find over 18,000 adult entertainment products including toys lingerie and seemingly endless selection of adult the best kind adult DVDs and there's more with every order you'll receive our romance kit for free the romance kit includes a toy for him a special massager for her and a little something we know you'll both enjoy plus a free adult DVD to put you
Starting point is 00:51:56 in the mood and that's not all there's also gonna be thrown in free shipping on your entire order so check out Adam adamandeve.com today for this special Valentine's offer. Get 50% off one item, a free romance kit, and free shipping when you enter the code Doug, D-O-U-G. That's Doug at adamandeve.com. This episode is also brought to you in part by Loot Crate, our friends at Loot Crate. You know what it is, a monthly subscription box service for epic geek and gamer items and pop culture gear. For less than $20 a month, you get four to eight items that include licensed gear, apparel, collectibles, unique one-of-a-kind items, and more. Apparel, collectibles, unique one-of-a-kind items, and more.
Starting point is 00:52:47 Make sure to head to LootCrate.com slash Doug and enter the code Doug to save $3 on any new subscription. Loot Crate is more than just a subscription service. It's an entire community of fans that share their experience and interact with each other around the unboxing of each month's crate. And they guarantee $40 plus in value in every crate sometimes it's a lot more every month there's a different theme and all items are curated around that theme for february we've braved the dangers of alexandria and bribed some mercs with chimichangas to bring you the finest loot this side of the afterlife this month's theme is Dead and reaches across genres
Starting point is 00:53:26 to bring you five exclusives, including a t-shirt and two figures to celebrate new episodes of The Walking Dead and Deadpool's solo film debut. Remember, you've only got until the 19th at 9 p.m. Pacific to subscribe and receive that month's crate. And when the cutoff happens, that's it.
Starting point is 00:53:44 It's over. Did I say subscribe? I meant subscribe. Go to lootcrate.com slash Doug and enter the code Doug to save $3 on your new subscription today. Back to the show. All right, we're back.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Very disappointed crowd. Had a lot of great name tags and wait till you see the ones that got chosen or hear about them so just be careful not to read the shithead on the back of your name tag
Starting point is 00:54:18 because that's for the end of the show if you don't win today somebody just put a bunch of junk on my table. There are lots of juicy Rolos in a roll for you. If you're choosy about what you chew.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Real milk, chocolate, and caramel too. To chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew. That's like when they write a song like that, it's like they all go home at four o'clock when they decide to just say chew, chew, chew over and over again.
Starting point is 00:54:55 At the end. Who are you playing for, Jeff? I'm playing for Rachel of the Lost Ark. And she drew the font correctly.'s lights watch this dudes yeah Oh dimmer Oh flashy slower flashy off and there were donuts and there's a picture of you with an Indiana Jones hat on oh I like that I am fine with my choice That's a good one I'm very happy with my choice Alright Scoot, what do you got?
Starting point is 00:55:29 Carrie and the Hendersons I didn't get your name Who made this poster? I think Carrie made it Clearly I'm an idiot Carrie and the Hendersons Carrie, that must be you Alright
Starting point is 00:55:47 And then we also have the Brady Bunch mom Florence Henderson Yes her at the bottom Holding a Harry or Carrie The Henderson is holding the picture of them It's a great poster That's nice I think I'm going to take this one home
Starting point is 00:56:04 It's fully realized you can keep it nice. It's well done. I think I'm going to take this one home. It's fully realized. You can keep it. I'd do it. Is that okay, Carrie? Yeah. Okay. Just take it home on my motorcycle. Did she ride a shithead on the back?
Starting point is 00:56:15 Not yet. Oh, okay. Smart. Wait. Scoot can't read it out out loud on accident. What do you got there, Mike? I have Behind the Camera and Labra.
Starting point is 00:56:30 Gloriously entertaining. That's not TV. That's HBO. That's true. So you got Doug there. Wait, is that you? Is that Tate? Yep. That's me. You and Tate have replaced Michael Douglas and Matt Damon
Starting point is 00:56:45 In this What would that sound like? Which I'm not very happy about Get away from me, you fucking lumberjack Hey I'm just, no The character's a dick Yeah, Michael Douglas is a bit of an asshole Yeah Anyway, so yeah, that's who I'm just, no. The character's a dick. Yeah, Michael Douglas is a bit of an asshole.
Starting point is 00:57:05 Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so yeah, that's who I'm going for. Very nice. Martha, who you got? It's one of my favorites. Mike T. Joe Young. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:18 Mike T. There's a... He fucked up big time. It looks... He fucked up big time. There's a, I believe, Mike. Yeah. And Doug. And me. And then a gorilla smoking a joint.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Giant, big, fat. It's huge, that joint. That monkey joint. He is big, but it's, but even by his standards, he must have been like... What's the thing about don't say the thing on the back? Because if you lose today, and that's probably not going to happen,
Starting point is 00:58:02 I think you're going to dominate. If you lose today, and that's probably not going to happen, I think you're going to dominate. If you lose today, then we have to say, I have to call that, I have to say that out loud, is a shithead at the end of the show. It's a little consolation prize. Okay, got it. Better than the bag of prizes, but in some people's estimation. Depending on who they're getting even with.
Starting point is 00:58:22 Sometimes it's personal grudges. It'll be like, Joe Smith is a shithead, and the whole audience just be silent. They'll just be like, why can't he write something funnier? But it is what it is. Let's start off with a game I like to call cable billing. Yeah, some people love it. Some are indifferent.
Starting point is 00:58:43 Nobody hates it. Some are indifferent. Nobody hates it. I'm assuming. Here's what we're going to do, Martha and Scoot. And Mike. A lot of new players here. Just move around the room as much as you want, Mike. You can't switch posters.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Oh, look at you. Holy shit, I got a drink too well I almost forgot to drink you guys that's how high I am I get so high I forget to get drunk all right I'm gonna say you know how when you flip around on your cable whatever your cable company is they're like a movie a movie will come up and there'll be the listing and the description, and they always will just list two random actors from the movie that are absolutely not the leads, and it never makes any sense. I don't know why it happens.
Starting point is 00:59:38 I'm just going to name some actors that Dish Network recently claimed were the stars of a motion picture they were showing. And the first one of you to just shout out into your microphone the correct title of the movie is the winner of this game. What movie did the Dish Network say stars David Ogden
Starting point is 00:59:58 Steers Stiers, if you must. James Whitmore and Martin Landau. Hint, they are not the stars of this movie. I know it,
Starting point is 01:00:20 I just don't want to say. Really? I'm kidding. No, I have no idea. Rounders. Interesting approach to not want to say. Really? I'm kidding. No, I have no idea. Rounders. Interesting approach to not want to say. The in-laws? Those are not bad guesses. They're both incorrect. Was it
Starting point is 01:00:33 Annie Hall? No. MASH. That's a fun guess because there's a lot of people in it. Now listen, Jeff. He was in the TV version of MASH, which was much later than the film MASH, as you know. I didn't know if maybe it was the same people.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Like maybe David Ogden Steers got to be in both before Hello Larry. Didn't you just watch MASH at that one film festival we were at? No, it started at 8. Oh. I am. All right, this game is going to now turn into Live, Die, Repeat,
Starting point is 01:01:11 a.k.a. Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang, because I'm going to tell you the actual star of this movie, and then the first person who can say the movie's title is the winner. You ready? Say his first name. say his first name just his first name I like this fight name that tune you know just feed us a little bit I'll feed you a little bit
Starting point is 01:01:41 DP I already regret telling you what that meant I actually went to imdp.com Oh god what would that sight mean? Oh, internet movie. Double penetration. Okay, Jim? Does that help you, Scoot? Yep.
Starting point is 01:02:15 What is it? Caviezel? You're changing the game. I know. All right, give me the last name. You told me you just needed the last name. All right, let me the last name. You just made it the last name. All right, let me give you all the other names first. Do you have a guess?
Starting point is 01:02:29 Is it the one with Jim Carrey where he's, fuck, he's a guy on an island? Fuck, forget it. What's that one where he's being taped? Truman Show. Truman Show? It's not the Truman Show. Was it Ace Ventura?
Starting point is 01:02:48 No. But the name is Jim Carrey. Liar, liar. And the movie is called... Liar, liar. Jeff and I just played Jim Carrey Last Man Standing in the car driving over here. Such a weird coincidence.
Starting point is 01:03:06 The number 23. Mr. Penguin's Poppers. DP. Oh, Ace Ventura 2? No. Congratulations to the audience for being so quiet during this
Starting point is 01:03:17 because this is probably driving some of you crazy. David August Dyers, James Whitmore, Martin Landau, and Jim Carrey in... K-Mole Guy?
Starting point is 01:03:26 Yes. No. Fun with Dick and Jay. Jeff, I said it today in the car. We said like 40 Jim Carrey movies in the car. Batman Forever. Earth Girls are easy I love it I love that there's going to be no winner of this game
Starting point is 01:03:51 Oh wait I have a final guess Because I have to move on Okay final guess Once bitten Mike do you have a final guess? Just name a Jim Carrey movie. You might hit it. Doing Time on Maple Street.
Starting point is 01:04:09 TV movie? Get the hell out of here. Oh, you know what I'm talking about. I do. In Living Color? Jim was in it. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That was my Fire Marshal Joe impression.
Starting point is 01:04:31 That wasn't his name. Jeff. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Oh, terrific guess. The answer's The Majestic. The Majestic. Great movie. No Rolos for you. No one's...
Starting point is 01:04:44 All of you are acting like you don't want Rolos. Share those Rolos. I was trying to throw them to him and you just fucking... You giant handed it. Alright, so nobody won that game. That's right. B nobody won that game. That's right. Bunch of amateurs. So let's play Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
Starting point is 01:05:14 Yeah. We'll start with Jeff, because he's been around the block. He knows what's going on with this game. I'm going to say a tagline from the poster or an advertisement for a motion picture. And I'm going to say it to Jeff. And Jeff alone. Jeff's the only person in this room that can answer.
Starting point is 01:05:34 If he doesn't get it, it moves to Scoot for the steal. Jeff, what movie had the tagline, when you think you've gone far enough go further when you think you've gone I'll give you a quick hint. It's none of the human centipede films. Is it Everest? Really?
Starting point is 01:06:12 There's a top of a mountain. You wouldn't want to go further. Gattaca? All right, Scoot, it's yours to steal. Do you know what that movie is from? The Martian? No, that's a terrific guess, and bless you in the audience. Bless you for sneezing. Mike, what do you think?
Starting point is 01:06:40 Chariots of Fire. Terrific guess. No. Martha, you have the last shot at this. When you think you've gone far enough, go farther. Farther? I can hear the old-timey movie voice saying it.
Starting point is 01:07:00 When you think you've gone far enough, go farther. Can you give me a hint? Check it out. Check out this hint. When you think you've gone far enough, go farther. Just think of a movie where, like, they could have gone farther,
Starting point is 01:07:23 but they didn't. No yelling out, even if joke answers. Because it makes me tense. I don't... Maybe either... Oh yeah, name a couple. Is it either vacationation or Lost in America or another traveling, is it a traveling movie?
Starting point is 01:07:56 It's none of those. It's a film that features Scoot McNary. One of my favorites One of my favorites In recent years is a movie called Frank Oh Yeah Dude Frank is so good I don't know what that tagline
Starting point is 01:08:18 Means but that movie is so Good Thank you yeah no it was Like you saw Room, right? We thought about going further, and then we went even further with the movie. And then you
Starting point is 01:08:33 rolled the credits. And then we, yeah. Did you see Room? I did, yeah. Isn't that director, the tone of those two movies could not be more different, and they're both terrific. Totally. And if you met Lenny, he's totally not not he's just like the nicest sweetest you got two kids and he makes these just god awful like you know what richard did was this this awful story i haven't seen that one yet it's
Starting point is 01:08:55 another good one too he's incredible filmmaker though yeah he's uh he's one to keep an eye on he's one that's gone further. Yeah, he slipped it. He's nominated for Best Director for the Oscar. They were surprised by that. They thought that Ridley Scott would get a career. Ridley didn't go far enough. No.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Mars was not far enough. I think it went far enough. I'm the guy in the first half of that tagline. This is enough, guys. Are you sure? Let's do another one. Jeff gets to go first again. Are you ready, Jeff?
Starting point is 01:09:30 Yes. What movie had the slogan, tagline, May the best campaign win? Our brand is Crisis. That's right. Scoot was so excited on that one. Would have been able to figure that one out. All right, we'll start with you now, Scoot.
Starting point is 01:09:56 What movie had the tagline, you don't know what you got till it's dot, dot, dot? You don't know what you got till it's... Oh, Gone Girl., I love Gone Girl. Of course, Gone Girl. Mike, which movie has the tagline The Hijacking was just the beginning? Wall Street 2, Money Never Sleeps.
Starting point is 01:10:21 Martha, what do you think it is? It's about something that gets hijacked. Uh-huh. So what way did you... The hijacking was just the beginning. It might have even been pre-credits. And probably Scoot was in it. Is that safe to guess?
Starting point is 01:10:39 I was going to guess Air Force One, but... Uh, wait. The hijacking was the whole thing. Air Force One, but... Uh, wait, um... The hijacking was the whole thing in Air Force One. There wasn't much after it. No, they hijacked his plane, then they called him names. Oh, wait, I know what it is.
Starting point is 01:10:55 It's, um, is it Captain Phillips? You're close. And the future of tomorrow? Oh, no. Wait, Captain... What was that one called? Sky Captain. Sky Captain. Captain Phillips
Starting point is 01:11:10 is a totally different kind of thing. Captain Phillips in the world of tomorrow. Jeff, do I ask you? Can you say it again, please? The hijacking was just the beginning. Is it killing them softly?
Starting point is 01:11:26 No. Damn it. Scoot, what is it? It's non-stop. Non-stop is right. And finally, based on a true exaggerated story,
Starting point is 01:11:35 Non-stop. Argo, fuck yourself. Let's play another game. That didn't work out so good. I saw non-Stop, too. They already made a sequel? No, I just, I saw it. I like to pretend Non-Stop is the flight
Starting point is 01:11:57 Liam Neeson takes to save his daughter and take it. He's like in the middle of that story. For God's sake, can't you fly faster? This is an aeroplane, as far as I understand. It never ends! That's what I would say, if I was him. God, a transatlantic flight
Starting point is 01:12:18 is shitty, and if you know your daughter's being held by Armenian terrorists... Here, say this. Say, I've got a certain set of pills. Just say it. I have a certain set of pills. Ladies and gentlemen, Liam Neeson as Bill Cosby. If you just wanted me to read your tweets,
Starting point is 01:12:50 I would have done it. You didn't need to set me up like that. Can you do Bill Cosby as Liam Neeson now? I'll take it. I've got a particular set of skills that you're not going to remember in the morning. I don't know who you are, but you're not going to know
Starting point is 01:13:23 who you are in about five zips. It was gross, actually. I don't know why we're making fun of these horrible... Have you ever put your foot in your own mouth or mine? Get under the bed.
Starting point is 01:13:42 That's something they probably both have said. Milky Way? Oh. Did you just come in here starving? Oh, I don't eat anything fried. What kind of person would refuse to eat fried food but wants Milky
Starting point is 01:14:12 Way bites? Where's the guy that moaned in disappointment? Raise your hand. Over there? Alright, we'll see if you like M&M's okay? Alright, here we go. Wow, that wasn't too bad. I mean, on my part, you were a total klutz.
Starting point is 01:14:31 Somebody's got donuts? Is that what I heard? Oh my god. You guys are crazy. Bring them up here. They want us to throw donuts at them. What? There's more?
Starting point is 01:14:47 There's so many donuts Here, I'll take these It's truly a beloved man Oh, look at how tiny these are These are adorable They're very powdery, though Oh, shit Martha, would you like to No, I'm keeping all these, dude.
Starting point is 01:15:07 Would you like to throw a donut at an audience member? They all get excited and act like they want it. Okay, I'm not... Gary the Furrow, Jesus! I'm sorry, sorry. This violent exchange of pastries disgusts me. No, don't drop them!
Starting point is 01:15:33 Hold on. Whatever you do, don't drop the donuts we're about to throw. Whatever you do, don't drop an entire thing of donuts. Take the donuts. Get under the bed. They're super powdery, so be careful. Scoot. Just keep throwing them.
Starting point is 01:16:00 I love when they bounce off because there's also like a puff off of there. Like a fucking squib. Like they got donut shot. I wish you knew how pissed off Margie Coyle was right now. She's the manager of the club. It's alright, they vacuum on the first day of every month. Rarely a pastry fight broke out in here.
Starting point is 01:16:24 She sounds exactly like Liam Neeson. That's weird. You and your big hands. There you go. Everybody that wants one gets one until I run out. Then you're out of luck. Nice.
Starting point is 01:16:42 I feel like you should spike that in the end zone. Here, let's let you guys have a chance. All right. I had to swear off sugar. What did you think of Glenn Close when you were working with her on Fatal Attraction? Well, it was a strange thing for me because she's not very attractive. How long before you knew Glenn was a girl's name about two weeks
Starting point is 01:17:28 into filming may I please have a dear gods of beverages at Cap City comedy may I have a Tito's and soda please that's possible we need a Bud Light to thank you thank you there's so many dough, I kind of want some chocolate milk. You were supposed to throw the donuts. There's like 40 more. We haven't thrown all the donuts. No, there's so many donuts. I want to coin the...
Starting point is 01:18:03 I want to get the rights to the expression Throw nuts Come and get your throw nuts At every Doug Benson show You bring the donuts and I'll throw them back at you Um Let's play Last Man Stanton This is going to be for all the marbles Or you know man Stanton.
Starting point is 01:18:27 This is going to be for all the marbles. Or, you know, there's no marbles in the bag. You know what I meant. And we'll start with Scoot, because he feels like he's winning today, right? Yeah. And
Starting point is 01:18:42 Scoot, Martha, and Mike, this is a game where we're going to get the name of a popular actor or actress, and we're going to take turns. I'll play as well. We'll take turns saying movies that that person's been in. Here comes some beverages from the awesome Cap City Comedy staff. That's for me. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 01:19:01 Let's hear it for them. Chip, I'm good. They had to come in early today. There's still two more shows tonight that they have to work as well, so we appreciate that. I lost my place. Let me start over. Hey, everybody! My name is Doug, and I love movies.
Starting point is 01:19:20 This is Doug Loves Movies! It's a cult, Scoot! He's looking at me like, what have you done? Donuts is all they eat. The only reason people come to the show is because they're hungry. And they're just hoping for some donuts.
Starting point is 01:19:44 It's the best of all the cults I've been a part of. Yeah, we don't have to kill ourselves. We don't all have to wear the same thing. No, you just watch movies and eat donuts. It's pretty fucking cool, actually. You guys, we'll be taking sign-ups later if you
Starting point is 01:19:59 take a personality test, see if movies and donuts are for you. Are you done? Yeah. Uh-huh. All right, so what was I saying? So we're going to take turns saying names, but if it's your turn and you can't think of a movie,
Starting point is 01:20:21 you get one lifeline, and that's the person whose name tag you picked. So that person, you can go to them and say, hey, I need an answer once. You can do that once, and hopefully they'll be there for you. Carrie?
Starting point is 01:20:38 That's what I'm saying. Carrie better be ready to step up. Or get your phone out. One of the two. So since I or no one else would know what the choice of the name would be today in advance,
Starting point is 01:20:53 I look for people on Twitter who say, I've got a good name and I'm going to be there today. And the first one that I saw was someone who goes by the Twitter name Quimbo Slice. Where's Quimbo Slice at? Hi.
Starting point is 01:21:10 Sigourney Weaver. What? Sigourney Weaver. No, I heard you the first time. I was just like, what? Alright, Sigourney Weaver is that's going to be a tricky one. I could be wrong.
Starting point is 01:21:28 We might come up with a lot of them. So we just need the exact title of a Sigourney Weaver film, starting with you, Scoot. True Life. Wait, what's happening? Do you want to use your lifeline? Is that what you said? Did you just say lifeline?
Starting point is 01:21:51 I said a film name. You think Sigourney Weaver is it? Well, I'll go back to the one I was going to use. Oh, yes, I'm definitely going to go back to the one I was going to use. I realized what I was saying. Put your name tags down. Alien.
Starting point is 01:22:14 Yes, correct. Nailed it. Yeah. Thank God. Be careful, you guys, because of course we need to have the full correct title on movies, so when you get into sequels,
Starting point is 01:22:24 it gets dangerous. Mike, which one would we need to have the full correct title on movies, so when you get into sequels, it gets dangerous. Mike, which one would you like to do? Ghostbusters 2. That is a very interesting strategy. Martha, Martha, any Sigourney Weaver movie that isn't Alien or
Starting point is 01:22:43 Ghostbusters 2? Working Girl. Here's what I always like to do in these situations. Ghostbusters. JF. Aliens. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:03 You took mine. Pretty bad strategy, hoping it went all the way back around. I bet you could think of another one, though. Alien 3? What was that called? They made different box covers for each of different places in the world. And it's Alien 3.
Starting point is 01:23:29 Isn't it just a little 3? In Germany. It's cubed, yeah. But do you have to say cubed or are we going to accept 3? We're going to accept it? All right, you did it. Don't forget you have a lifeline too. Yeah, I don't want to use it yet, Gary
Starting point is 01:23:48 Okay, yeah, you're too confident to use your lifeline Because I knew it was Alien 3 Alright Mike? The Year of Living Dangerously Martha? The Ice storm? Oh, wait.
Starting point is 01:24:07 Oh, yeah, yeah, it's your turn. What'd you say? The ice storm? Yeah, that's a good one. Ang Lee. Elijah Wood. Kevin Kline. Am I stalling?
Starting point is 01:24:24 Maybe. No, you don't have to stall when all you have to say is what's going to ultimately probably be the second highest grossing movie of all time called Avatar. I'm going to go ahead and take that one. Oh, I was worried you were about to say
Starting point is 01:24:46 baby mama. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Scoot, what do you think? You want to use your lifeline? Yeah, I got to. All right, who are you playing for?
Starting point is 01:25:02 Carrie. Carrie, what do you got? Gorillas in the Mist. Yes, Gorillas in the Mist. She nailed it. Well done you playing for? Carrie. Carrie, what do you got? Gorillas in the Mist. Yes, Gorillas in the Mist. She nailed it. Well done. Thank you, Carrie. Now, did I get to use Carrie every round, or?
Starting point is 01:25:13 No, that was it, man. That was it. I just used it. That was it one time. But now, just listening to the other titles, something might pop into your head, you know? Nope. No, it helps to hear Other ones you know
Starting point is 01:25:25 Yeah Like especially if there's Gorillas in the mist 2 Sequels yeah Yeah What do you got Mike Deal of the century With Chevy Chase
Starting point is 01:25:36 Yep Yeah Enjoy the no applause For that one It's funny They don't They react based on How they feel about The movie that you say Like if more than no applause for that one. It's funny, they react based on how they feel about the movie that you say. Like if,
Starting point is 01:25:50 for instance, if... That 1983 comedy that no one saw really pissed a lot of people off. I'm just saying that if Sigourney Weaver was in Hook, this is what would happen. See, that's what happens. That's like the one downside of this cult. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:16 The Rufio shit, yeah. Like, I won't let anyone in here with a fake hand because I don't want the word hook being brought up for any reason. Oh! All right. It's Martha's turn. I just have a quick question. Okay.
Starting point is 01:26:36 If I say a name of a movie and I get it wrong, am I out of the whole game? Yeah, that'll be it. You'll be out. So you might want to use your lifeline, but you don't know if your lifeline has an answer. We've said a lot of Sigourney Weaver classics. What could be left? I know two, and I'm going to go out on a limb
Starting point is 01:26:59 and hope I get the first name right. Okay. Alien Resurrection. Whoa! I get the first name right. Okay. Alien Resurrection. Whoa. All right. Good job. I'm going to go with Heartbreakers.
Starting point is 01:27:17 Oh, thank you. Starring our friend Zach Galifianakis. Jennifer Love Hewitt, is that the one? Mm-hmm. Ah, that's the one. Jennifer Lewis, top of her game. Whatever game that was, that was when she was the best at it. That was the one I was hoping would go around.
Starting point is 01:27:37 Lifeline? Okay, who's your lifeline? Rachel. Rachel, what do you got? Where is she? Where'd you get it from, Jeff? She was over there somewhere. Did she run out of the building?
Starting point is 01:27:48 I got nothing. You got nothing? Oh. Oh. Someone over here is going, there's more than one Rachel in the room. It's got to be the one whose name tag he was using. And this is going to get very intense now,
Starting point is 01:28:03 so don't yell out any Sigourney Weaver movies yet. Do you have one, Jeff? I was going to say Heartbreakers. Yeah, I pulled that one out from under you. Do we move to the next name now, or do I have to name one too? No, it'll be on you as soon as Jeff gives up officially.
Starting point is 01:28:19 He doesn't move to another name. Oh, I officially gave up years ago. Look at me. I haven't changed my shirt in three weeks. What do you got, Jeff? Nothing? Nothing. All right, Jeff's out. Scoot?
Starting point is 01:28:35 All right. I love you, Jeff. You got one more you can add, Scoot? Was she in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels? Yes. Thank you, Kenny. scoot was she in dirty rotten scoundrels Carrie thank you Gary just keep saying yes and we will take this thing home that was that was Glenn Headley in that one I think is you might be thinking of she was a lot like
Starting point is 01:29:06 and he's got the poster right here up front does it say Sigourney Weaver anywhere no that's what threw me off was the poster I saw a thing and I thought that might be the answer. Was she in Minutes to Society? No? Okay. Was that your Brian Regan? Yeah, that's exactly what that was. I thought it might be the answer sometime. I looked at a thing and I figured that was the right thing to say.
Starting point is 01:29:41 I'm doing an impression of a specific comic about you. Alright, Mike, do you have one more? Galaxy Quest. Of course! Of course! Of course! That was a huge one. You guys are great.
Starting point is 01:30:01 There's a lot of bubbling up going on, I can tell. Yeah, no, it's hard to hold back when you know the answer. Amy Adams, I mean, Martha Kelly. It's called You Again with... Fuck. Sigourney Weaver? Sigourney Weaver. And Kristen
Starting point is 01:30:26 From She's a teenage detective Kristen Bell Nancy Drew Veronica Mars She plays a mean mom That sounds right You had to have gotten distribution right
Starting point is 01:30:41 Yeah that helps You're not in anymore anyway I know It's down to Martha You had to have gotten distribution, right? Yeah, that helps. You're not in anymore anyway, Scoot. I know, I know. It's down to Martha and Mike. Because I give up. I can't think of another one. What?
Starting point is 01:30:58 I know there's more, but shit. We've said a lot of them. So, Mike, what do you want to do? Do you want to do your lifeline? Or do you want to... It's back to you. Those guys are out. Oh, shit. Okay. Did anyone say the first Ghostbusters? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:15 I jumped right on that. Like a pro. And Avatar 2 isn't coming out until 2030. You can't say that. You can't say that. Yeah, man, I'm running... You could use your lifeline. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:35 I got you. You got me, buddy? He's got it. Cabin in the woods. Cabin in the woods, of course. Cabin in the fucking woods. Say that as a spoiler. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:51 Martha, what do you got? I'm going to hope that Mike T, my lifeline, has an answer. Holes. Holes! Holes! Rachel! Rachel! holes holes Rachel now don't get mad at Rachel we gotta settle this
Starting point is 01:32:16 and the tensions are running hot because people in the audience know more answers and I don't want anybody to say anything but I do want to say this since Mike and Martha are both tapped out, clearly. Right? You're both out. I'm going to let
Starting point is 01:32:32 you continue with your lifelines until we have a winner. Because we've got to have a winner. So until there's a sudden death, Mike's lifeline What do you got? Copycat
Starting point is 01:32:47 Copycat With Holly Hunter Of course Martha's lifeline Wally? Wally What? Yeah!
Starting point is 01:32:59 She's a voice in Wally? Yeah Alright shut up! We gotta wrap this up. But thank you. Back to mics. Tapped out. You tapped?
Starting point is 01:33:31 Wow. Do you have one more Martha Kelly's one more come on you could do it tail of death's barrow yeah for reals with like Matthew Broderick is a mouse and hers she's a voice in it too you know what even if you're lying I want you to be the winner Hey Doug, isn't Sigourney Weaver in the Veronica Mars movie? I think so. Yeah. I yelled it. I yelled Veronica Mars like an idiot.
Starting point is 01:34:18 Because I was trying to guess the TV show she was talking about. And then it was also the name of a movie. You can just edit this part out, right? Oh, I have another one. As I'm driving home from the thing. The TV show. Well, you can't do a TV show. No, it's called The TV Show. Oh, the TV set?
Starting point is 01:34:35 The TV set? I fucked it up, yeah. What other ones did we miss? We said you were a litigant, Jason. I said that. Paul. Paul. Paul.
Starting point is 01:34:52 Chappie. What movie? Chappie? Oh, yeah. Very first probably appearance by her. Dave. Oh, Dave. very first probably appearance by her. Dave. Dave? Oh, Dave. That's right. That's like running into an old friend
Starting point is 01:35:11 and you can't think of his name. Yeah. Oh, Dave. All right, so Martha, this guy, you're the winner. Yeah. Mike D. Joe Young. Come get your prizes, Mike T. That's a long walk.
Starting point is 01:35:31 You want to make a speech? No? Good. Congratulations. Everybody else, pass me down your things with shitheads on them. There's one that doesn't have a shithead on it, I don't think. Right? Didn't she say she didn't do it? This one doesn't have one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:45 None of them have one. Oh, wait, this one has one. Okay, we got one more. And what's the third one? We gotta seek it out. Ted Cruz. Where you are? Who?
Starting point is 01:35:55 Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz is a shithead? I believe in America. I believe in America. And I'm also Spongebob Squarepants. And he's also from Canada. Look for Martha Kelly on Baskets on FX, you guys. Anyplace else we should check you out? You got any shows
Starting point is 01:36:27 coming up? No pressure, but I will be headlining here this Wednesday. And again, no obligation. You don't have to come, you guys. That's, for now, that's it. Okay, Wednesday night here at Cap City. Martha Kelly.
Starting point is 01:36:46 Mike McRae, what's going on? Let's see. For local people, I'll be doing Chris Cubis' show here at the club on February 2nd, and then every week I'm on the Jimmy Dore show on iTunes, so it's always fun. Check that out.
Starting point is 01:37:03 Awesome. Awesome. Scoot, Batman or Superman? Which one is your favorite? Which one do you have the more scenes with? Gordon Gekko would be both of them. What else can we watch you on, Scoot? Halt and Catch Fire is the second season?
Starting point is 01:37:33 Yeah, and a film called 467 is coming out. Another film called Sleepless Nights. And another, this film called Legacy of the Whitetail Deal Hunter with Josh Brolin and Danny McBride. You know what? This is a really funny one. Yeah. You know what? Just look for Scoot in everything.
Starting point is 01:37:52 Find him. He will be there. Thank you for being here. Jeff, what do you got? February 9th, I'm in Tucson at a place called Borderlands Brewery. And why is that Cool
Starting point is 01:38:07 Cut up Mike Fucking Michael Douglas Motherfucker Then I'm in Ann Arbor Myrtle Beach St. Petersburg Florida Gainesville, Florida
Starting point is 01:38:19 I got a bunch of shit Justanotherclown.com Is my website JeffTay96 Is my Twitter. And I will be out front selling my tour shirts and posters in just a minute.
Starting point is 01:38:34 And I'm also on that Cuba show. I knew you'd throw in one more. Can't help yourself. I got Fort Lauderdale, San Jose, San Diego, New York City coming up Let's do this, DouglasMovies.com That's DouglasMovies.com
Starting point is 01:38:48 And thanks again one more time To Cap City Comedy Club To Austin, Texas In general And my guests, Jeff Tate, Scoop McNary Mike McCray And Martha Kelly As always Mike McCrae and Martha Kelly.
Starting point is 01:39:09 As always, SB11, aka Campus Carrie, is a shithead. Ted Cruz is a shithead. And Kanye West for trying to skip the line at Franklin's Barbecue is a shithead.
Starting point is 01:39:35 Thank you. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.