Doug Loves Movies - Scott Aukerman, Amy Schumer, Rory Scovel, and Valient Himself Guest
Episode Date: September 3, 2011Podcasting live from Bumbershoot, Doug welcomes comedians Scott Aukerman, Amy Schumer and Rory Scovel, along with stoner rock god Valient Himself of Valient Thorr.See Privacy Policy at https:...//art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody
My name is Doug
And I need a hotter microphone.
This doesn't even feel like it's on.
Oh, there you go.
Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies,
coming to you from the Bumbershoot Music and Arts,
don't forget the Arts Festival,
in Seattle, Washington.
Thank you, Doug.
Where they have a saying,
if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes
and then shoot yourself in the face.
Anyway.
Slipped an old joke in there.
I'm thrilled to be doing the podcast
from Bumbershoot, which means
umbrella and fancy old talk.
And it's Saturday, September 3rd, 2 Oceans 11.
A gorgeous day in Seattle,
so thank you for coming inside to talk about movies.
Did you guys bring any name tags?
Do we have any?
Oh, my goodness.
Wow.
I got to get a little closer.
There's Normsy up front.
Normsy comes to all my shows at Bumbershoot and at Parlor Live and Bellevue.
Who's your caddy poster?
That's not going to get chosen.
A guy with a big baseball that says, not Jordan.
What are those things?
What are those flashlights that say your name on the end of them? That's pretty
awesome. It's much better than a flashlight.
Now that is an actual
that is an actual baby,
right?
Like, you know what happens to
babies that come to my show.
There's a chance it'll get hit with a
woo monkey.
It shouldn't say it. Is it the baby's name or your name?
Your name. Very smart.
That'd be great if the contestant, if one of the contestants picks you and the baby,
they're gonna be able to pick the baby up and bring the baby up on stage?
All right, that's a horrible idea.
That's like a box of candy that says Carrie on it. And there's lots of them all throughout the audience.
I see a plate.
I see a Bratz poster.
That's also not going to get chosen.
And I see a lot of people going, what is with all the crazy signs?
If you're here at Bumbershoot and you're just like, oh, let's go see a comedy show,
or let's go see Doug Benson, or I love movies, I'll go see that.
Basically, on the podcast,
every week, we tape at the UCB
Theater in Los Angeles, and
people come with the name tags,
and now when I go out on the road, the same thing
happens, and it's a lot of fun.
So everybody that brought a name tag is eligible
to win everything that's in this bag.
Except for
one Wooten Monkey that I'll be shooting
at a baby.
But the baby's sitting too close it's not that much of a challenge and it would probably it would probably really hurt the
baby in a uh kind of a karmic moment in life I guess I could say I was in a bar the other night
after giving away some woot monkeys and then suddenly got uh hit in the side of the face with a woot monkey really hard.
And it hurt, but then I also laughed because I totally deserved it.
Because I'm always shooting monkeys at people.
Which is not a euphemism.
I physically shoot monkeys at people.
Bumbershoot, of course, is an awesome music festival,
and there's also lots of comedy here as well.
So a lot of my comedy friends are here and will be participating in these podcast tapings every night for the next three nights.
And, you know, I have a great talent pool to pick from.
And like I said, there'll be different guests on every show.
Today, I'm happy to say that we'll be joined by a musician who
performed this afternoon, and we will also be joined by three hilarious comedians, so let's
get them out here. Please welcome Valiant himself from Valiant Thor, Scott Aukerman, Rory Scovell,
and Amy Schumer. People are already yelling shit at Thor
Or I should say Valiant
It's Mr. Thor
Or Valiant Thor say Valiant. Hey, it's Mr. Thor, or Valiant
Thor, or Valiant himself. And did you have a fun show today here at Bubbershoot in the
exhibition hall? Yeah, I was feeling really weird about coming out anyway. I was like,
I didn't have time to change. We just finished, and I was like, everybody's going to be like,
oh, it was all these people from UCB. It was really killer. And there was this one guy
I didn't know. He was in some band, and he stinks really bad. And I was like, oh, it was all these people from UCB. It was really killer. And there was this one guy I didn't know. He was in some band.
He stinks really bad.
And I was like, I don't know if it was a good idea.
Scott Aukerman, can you corroborate how he smells?
I co-sign on that.
He stinks pretty bad?
Well, I'm sorry about that.
It's a jacket.
I'll take it off.
Oh, OK.
I like this.
Yeah.
Ladies?
Yeah.
Now, I think I walked into your show a few songs in.
Like, how long does it take before the shirt comes off?
Like, I don't know, about two songs.
Two songs?
It's really hot.
Yeah, yeah.
He's shirtless and very, very wet and whipping his hair around,
not unlike Will Smith's daughter.
Will is so wet.
No, I meant the other part, the whipping the hair.
Oh, sorry.
That kid is pretty wet, though.
Yeah.
So, yeah, so this is your first appearance.
It's my first appearance.
This is your first appearance on the show, Valiant.
And you've come to see a taping at UCB.
You actually sat on the floor
because it's always very crowded there.
And I thought that was adorable.
Cross-legged.
And I know you're a movie fan
because on your Twitter feed,
you mentioned it from time to time.
But also today during your show,
you dedicated a song to Indiana Jones
and the Temple of Doom.
Yeah.
I always, I like,
well, I mean, there's lots of stuff to like about that movie.
Eating monkey brains and
taking people's hearts out without
surgery. Yeah, with
surgery is such a, why go through all that
when you could just, Cali Mar,
Shoptie Day, and reach in. It seems like you would
save a lot of money that way
and a lot of time.
I love when Kate Capshaw
sang Anything Goes.
Then I tuned out.
What is that?
What character is that?
That's the recalcitrant Kate.
Recalcitrant?
I like that.
That's Scott Aukerman, everybody,
from Comedy Bang Bang.
Scott Aukerman. Formerly Comedy Comedy Bang Bang. Scott Aukerman.
Formerly Comedy Death Ray.
I'm going to hold the mic like a flute this entire time.
Oh, that's lovely.
Right?
With the two of you on the end there,
it looks like I'm just at a Jethro Tull concert.
Aqualung.
So I was saying, comedy, bang, bang,
formerly comedy, death ray,
formerly not a thing.
And you're doing shows here all weekend.
You already banged one out this afternoon.
Yes, ma'am.
And you have different guests every show, too.
So everybody should come back for all of them.
Please come back for all of them.
And also, Scott, of course,
came very close to winning
the recent Tournament of Championships.
Oh, man.
That was the biggest regret of my life.
Really?
It really was.
Wait, what about that abortion that you got?
Oh.
You must feel a lot of regret about that.
Eh.
No. Tournament of Championships. that you got. Oh. You must feel a lot of regret about that. Eh.
No.
Tournament of
Champions.
No, that was a
bummer for everyone
involved.
Paul Atkins is
backstage right now.
He would agree
with me that it
was just...
He's beside
himself, so there's
no room on the
couch back there.
But yeah, Sam
Levine was like the
villain of the piece
and he prevailed.
Yeah, he's like a great WWE villain, you know?
He really is.
Is this all pertaining to the abortion?
Yeah, he was right there
in my abortion. He was holding
her hand the entire time.
Well, yeah. If you don't hold her hand
during the abortion, that's not very valiant
of you. He's so small, the doctor tried to abort him at one point.
Thank you for coming, Scott.
Good night, everyone.
Rory Scovell, this is your first appearance.
Let's hear it for Rory, everybody.
It's his first time.
Thank you.
First time on Doug Loves Movies, but you do know how to play the leonard malton game i do i do but you think you won't be good at it no i think i'm gonna
fucking crush your face is doing a different thing than you're though and then what you were saying
no one listening can tell that yeah yeah That's just for all of us here.
That's what's fun about coming out to these things live is you get to see stuff, the secrets.
See the fear in men's eyes.
People will just hear.
Now, dear sweet Amy.
Hello, Doug.
The last time...
Thank you.
I want to apologize to everyone.
The last time...
Yeah, we should both apologize.
The last time Amy and I were on stage together,
we got hammered.
I was in a full blackout.
Me too. The whole time. I had were on stage together, we got hammered. I was in a full blackout. Me too.
The whole time.
I had to listen to the show later because I didn't remember.
After this third or fourth round of shots people sent up to us.
It was in Baltimore.
Did anybody listen to that one?
Oh, my God.
Thank you for spending the $2 and for not being mad about it.
Did I win?
I forget.
I don't know.
Oh, that's exciting.
I mean, I always forget who wins,
you know, because I do them all the time.
You may have won, yeah.
Yeah, I was totally blacked out.
I apologize to anyone
who had to listen to me slow for two hours.
No, I say go listen to it
if you want to hear
what she's really thinking about everything,
because she said a lot.
Okay, then let me just say this.
She said a lot of things.
Not everyone,
but I do want to apologize
to all the Asian people I offended that night.
I do not really think those things about you.
I never think about you.
Never comes up.
Never comes up in my mind.
So, Valiant, you're out on tour, right?
No, this is the end of it.
I was, though.
Oh, okay.
So do you ever have time to see movies?
When do you get to see movies?
I watch a lot of movies.
We just had a little break, and I saw Planet of the Apes.
I was really, really psyched.
It was one of the, when I saw the preview.
It's fun to call it by its original name, isn't it?
Yeah.
I saw Rise of Planet of the Apes.
Because it's tiresome to say of, though, twice.
Well, yeah. I just call it Rise Apes.
Rise Apes.
I'd like one for Rise Apes, and they're like,
again?
I love watching Apes rise.
If I ever saw
it again and they lost, I'd be disappointed.
My favorite in the
five original Planet of the Apes movies
are the ones where at the end
they seemed in charge
because there were a couple there where the apes were down
and I was like that's bullshit
you don't give it to them and take it away
like that
did you like it though? I really liked it
people love it I haven't seen it yet
this was no Marky Mark Planet of the Apes
this was good stuff
that's an interesting way to attack the Tim Burton Planet of the Apes. This was good stuff. That's an interesting way
to attack the Tim Burton Planet of the Apes
because I put more of the burden on Tim Burton
than on Marky Mark.
There's enough to go around.
I think Marky...
He wasn't that bad in it.
I think he filled the Charlton Heston shoes nicely enough.
If it had been a good movie,
he would have been good in it, I'd imagine.
Yes.
As would all of them. I feel sorry been a good movie, he would have been good in it, I'd imagine. Yes. As would all of them.
I feel sorry for like a
Paul Giamatti who had to get in that makeup
every day and then the movie turns out
so shitty. Nah, it wasn't makeup.
That's just Paul. That's how he looks.
Well, yeah, he's, you know.
Every movie, he's an ape. He's interesting
looking. I'm typecast. I'm an ape
in every movie. When he showed up every day on Win Win,
he was in the makeup chair for four hours.
Gotta make him look like a person.
Put the Paul Giamatti face on him.
It's so hard.
You're a wrestling person.
I love this.
No! No!
We'll be done in five.
Give us five.
I love Planet of the Apes. I think it's really cool they use the same cast in The Help.
I'll see myself out.
Grab me a drink.
That is a great tag to most of Amy's jokes.
I'll see myself out.
Just dinner parties.
And I'll be leaving.
You probably get a...
I don't have anything offensive to say.
And you know what your mother told you.
If you can't say something offensive,
don't speak into a microphone.
Have you been to the cinema lately, Scott?
I've been into a cinema,
but I saw a movie on the way on the plane.
Oh, how'd you do that?
Computer?
Did you watch it in your lap?
The iPad rental.
I saw The Dilemma.
You did?
I did, yes. What compelled you to see that?
A long
story. No, I
I'm working with the company who made it
and
So this is probably a hole you don't want
to dig right now i'm trying to decide how much i should say about this but it's a piece of shit
but i will say uh i think it's the only movie that the climax of which uh is a car starting
i don't know if anyone's seen it but that is the entire movie leads up to a car starting. I don't know if anyone's seen it, but that is the entire movie leads up to
a car going, boom.
So that's the dilemma?
Like, where are the keys?
Yeah, that's the whole
crux of the movie.
Oh, the dilemma is
his best friend, his wife is
cheating on him. He sees his best friend's wife
cheating. Vince Vaughn. With Channing Tatum.
Who's very funny
actually. And then
he has a dilemma. He doesn't know whether
He has the dilemma. The only
one anybody's ever had. Someone might say that.
And he
doesn't know what he
should do for a week.
Takes about a week.
Oh, it's like a rough week for him. Oh, terrible
week. He's like doing this a lot
And then at the end
Kevin James says
Why didn't you tell me
For that week
Really it just takes place
Over a week
Why did you wait a week
To tell me
Why did you wait one week
Cause then we had
Two hours of good stuff
For a movie
We thought
We felt pretty good about it
Like the commercials for the DVD just
show them both just being waving their arms around a lot like it doesn't say
anything about this story the first act and the third act are a broad comedy and
then the second act is like is a drama is like a major drama with with Chico
Limbaugh yeah dilemma with one singular dilemma yeah but yeah Jennifer Connelly
crying and Winona Ryder,
like tears, and it's a bizarre movie.
Jennifer Connelly was crying Winona Ryder's tears?
She's a great actress.
It was amazing.
That's how good she is.
Yeah, she's like,
she's like right before the take,
she's like, Ron Howard,
whose tears should I cry in this one?
Winona, do Winona.
Whose do you want?
Winona, action. Whose tears should I cry in this one? Wynonna. Do Wynonna. Whose do you want? Wynonna. Action.
Rory, have you been to the movies?
I have.
What did you see?
I recently went to see The Tree of Life.
I'm educated.
I'm smart.
I'm different.
I'm artistic.
Yeah, yeah.
I can't get myself to go to that because I don't want to come out at the other end and have to pretend to have liked it.
Yeah.
Has anybody seen it? Seriously.
Yeah, and you loved it?
Fell asleep.
Go fuck yourself!
Oh my god, Rory!
Rory! It's a peaceful movie.
Yeah, that was Rory, by the way.
It's about a tree, okay?
That was Rory, listeners.
I didn't snap on the guy.
I'm so sorry. His parents were killed by a tree, okay? That was Rory, listeners. I didn't snap on the guy. I'm so sorry.
His parents were killed by a tree.
My parents...
I'm sorry.
Of life.
Parents were killed by a life tree.
How would you have known?
It's not your fault, sir.
You sleep wherever you want.
I mean that.
I was worried that the listeners would just hear so what'd you think of that i fell asleep
fuck yourself like i turn on people after asking them a question
but did what did you really think of it i the thing is i thought it was too long
uh but i did really like it i really thought it was uh interesting it's good to see a movie that
makes you think about something different.
And I,
yeah,
like my answer is so serious.
Like I,
you know,
some of the shots,
like,
like he was saying,
act one and three fucking orgasms,
right?
Like brain orgasms.
And then act two,
whatever's above a brain orgasm,
a real orgasm,
just a real,
yeah,
an actual semen festival.
And that's actually the movie I watched this week.
Semen Festival.
One, two, and three.
You better remember to bring your bumper shoot
at the semen festival.
You think those balls would be dry by the middle of two?
They actually made a three one?
Yeah, they made three.
That's right.
Well, festival.
Not tonight, honey.
I've got dry balls.
I'm all out since the semen festival.
All these people have waited in line.
Why do you go to the semen festival every year?
When are we going to have children if you're always going to the Seaman Festival?
It takes you a whole year to build up again,
and it's all wasted again on a bunch of umbrellas.
Honey, I thought this was about the Navy.
I don't understand.
No, I go on stage, I masturbate.
Why is that the husband?
No, I go on stage, I jerk off.
Mark, is there something you want to tell me?
Yeah.
Yeah, there is.
I just told you.
I go on stage and I jerk off.
There's nothing more.
How do you do it?
Hands free?
Just subtle movements in your pants?
You know what?
I don't even know.
Just shift around in your chair?
I focus that much.
He's doing it right now.
I concentrate so well.
It's so tantric.
Tantric masturbation.
I like to make it last
for myself. Any Terrence Malick
movie, that's how I do it.
I just watch that and I'm like,
Oh!
Issues with your dad!
Oh! Act 2!
Yeah, Act 2.
Bless you.
Jamie?
Yes, Doug?
Motion pictures, seen any?
I watched two on the plane coming here.
I saw...
You flew in from New York?
Yes, I flew in from New York.
Someone's rich.
Go ahead.
You flew here in a cinema?
That's right.
I don't know how you do it,
but things are going real well for me.
I watched Water for Elephants.
Okay, yeah.
Jesus.
Two girls.
Which I think is a very good plane movie.
Yeah, it was a great plane movie.
It's perfect for on a plane.
Except for the fact that, you know,
two gorgeous people, Robert Pattinson and the elephant.
No, like, and Reese.
They're beautiful people. In the the whole movie they're building tension
and then their sex scene comes
but they had to cut it out because it was on a plane.
So I watched this whole piece
of shit and never even got to see them
fuck each other.
I think it, I don't think
you really see that much in the actual.
No, you do. There's penetration.
Yeah, they really that's right do you ever watch a movie on on a plane like on your computer that has like sex scenes
and just laugh loudly oh people look at your screens oh it's a porn. It's pornography.
Ah, fuck yeah.
Two more tomato juices over here.
I always put my hand up and guard it so people can't see the nude scenes,
because it just feels like, what's that creep doing over there? Like, why is he freeze-framing on Rosario Dawson in that
Oliver Stone movie?
Alexander. Yeah.
Would you get kicked off a plane if you were watching
a porno, do you think? Well, they'd have to
land the plane first, of course.
That's it. They'd tell you to stop,
I bet. Here's what you do. You put the
porn on. And buckle your seatbelt.
Put the porn on and then act
blind the whole time.
Feeling the screen like a trail.
My son started this for me.
Just with the glasses on, just...
What? Hey, excuse me.
Hey, what's happening?
Describe in detail what's happening.
I'm blind.
I'm fucking blind.
Show some compassion. Yeah.
Jesus.
Two more tomato juice. Why always tomato juice?
But. Always.
I just thought of a question for Thor.
Valiant Thor.
You spell it with two R's, Thor.
And. For rock and roll.
But it's also.
But I thought also you might have been worried about copyright issues with the comic book character.
Yeah.
Stan Lee has some huge thugs.
How can you copyright an ancient god?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Our story isn't about ancient gods.
George W. Bush did it, though, didn't he?
Come on, Seattle!
Come on, Seattle, let's leave.
Let's all get out of this piece of shit.
What did you think of...
Why is only half of the room laughing at that?
I think something's happening over there.
It's like the side of the room laughing at that? I think something's happening over there. There's like a side of the room
that thinks the word shit's hilarious.
And the other side's not into it.
Oh, that guy that Rory was yelling at
is actually sleeping now.
I can see him.
Are you serious?
Yeah, he's asleep.
He awoke just to say,
I didn't like the tree of life.
Z, Z, Z, Z, Z.
His friend woke him up.
Hey, someone saw the Tree of Life.
It was shitty.
It was shit.
It was a piece of shit.
Catch some shut-eye.
I don't think it's just the Tree of Life.
I think you have a problem.
I think it's deeper.
I think it's deeper than just that movie.
No, it's just that movie, okay?
I know when to say when.
The only thing he does when he's awake is talk about things that put him to sleep.
Oh, you know what else is boring?
But what did you think of the Thor movie this summer?
I thought it was great.
Okay, good.
Yeah, I did see it.
I saw it in somewhere, Tennessee, I think. I thought it was great. Okay, good. Yeah, I did see it. I saw it in somewhere. Tennessee,
I think. I thought it was great.
That's weird. It's the best place
to see it. Yeah, I was about to say. It's better there.
It was 3D.
You saw 3D?
I saw it. You don't mind putting on the glasses? Do you look good
in the glasses? I don't know.
I bet you do. I look good in shades.
It's funny. It's weird they don't have any mirrors
after they give you the glasses. Yeah, what's up with that? You don't get a chance to know how they look on you. I look good in shades. It's funny. It's weird they don't have any mirrors after they give you the glasses.
Yeah, what's up with that?
You don't get a chance to know how they look on you.
That's a great point.
Yeah, they're really onto something.
Why don't they have mirrors?
Come on, that guy's going to fall asleep again.
Trampolines.
Quit it.
Yes.
Right?
That's always fun.
He has no legs, Rory.
Oh, shit.
We'll jump on it and push you around.
Is he really asleep?
I fell asleep watching Thor 2.
He fell asleep watching Thor 2.
The man has a time machine.
Well, now we know.
We now know.
I bet he didn't fall asleep while driving the time machine.
Waited until he got to Thor 2.
What is he?
What do you even like?
I don't like anything.
The Time Master Helm Dog was the guy from The Wire you even like? I like that guy. I don't like anything. The Tom Master
helm dog was the guy from The Wire.
That's all I liked about it. They had the guy
from The Wire and he was like the Tom Master who
shot him through a rainbow. Which guy?
The black guy. Oh, he's hot.
Yeah, the black guy from The Wire.
You know that one. He's sexy.
I heard The Wire and The Help are getting married.
Come on.
I'll see you out.
Bye.
Alright, so the guy's awake and I think I know the reason why he's
awake right now because he knows
I'm about to say, shall we play
a game? Oh, shit!
Yeah!
Doug, can I ask you a favor?
Please. I suck at this game, as you well know.
Even Dead Silver.
How do you even know what game we're going to play?
It might be Would You Rather or one of Scott's many games.
Oh, okay.
Well, I guess I'll wait to hear what the game is.
No, no.
Okay.
Can I bring out a teammate?
Is that allowed?
Has anybody ever brought in a team?
You will be disqualified for getting into the tournament of championships
if you guys get a movie in negative names.
Okay.
But if you want to win here today, if it's that important to you,
Yes, I do want to win here today.
then I will let you have some help from somebody.
Well, then I'd like to bring out...
The black eye from the wire.
Idris Elba!
I'd like to bring out one Mr... Holy shit, it's Luther. I'd like to please call to the wire. Andrea Silva! I'd like to bring out one, Mr.
Holy shit, it's Luther.
I'd like to please call to the stage.
Why did I look?
I was like, where?
I thought you meant Lex Luther.
Is he here?
Just in the wings?
I'm sorry, who are you going to bring out?
Andy Daly.
Yay!
Andy Daly is here!
Yay!
Look at him go!
Wait, where's he going?
He just ran through the stage.
He's gone.
He left. That's not going to help you at all. Oh, there he goes going? He just ran through the stage. He's gone. He left.
That's not going to help you at all.
Oh, there he goes.
Here he comes.
Here, you sit.
He's just doing a lap, keeping it interesting for the sleepy.
I'm here as a ringer for the Leonard Maltin game.
Yeah, you are.
I do not know how it is played.
Just smile.
All right.
It's funny to me.
Andy's one of the people that's been on the podcast
and doesn't know how the game is played somehow.
You managed to get through it, though, before.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
This will be fine.
I think you'll be a good help for Amy.
Thank you.
All right.
Very exciting.
But let's start with down on the opposite end there
since you have that extra help.
Let's start with Valiant.
He gets to pick a category.
Oh, we gotta pick
who you're playing for. I totally forgot that part.
Thank you for reminding me.
Do we go down into the crowd?
Yeah, just go ahead and pick one.
I'll commentate on who you're picking.
What do we got?
Yeah, Andy, do you want to go pick a name tag for Amy?
You can go down those stairs or stage dive
Is what I would do
This is so terrifying
Oh my god
I wish I were high right now
This is the closest I'll ever get to Letterman
Does anybody have a name tag
In the balcony?
This is tough
That would suck if you had a name tag in the balcony.
I'm going to lose.
Can you guys see my vagina?
No?
Kevin, answer her.
It's in the back, which is weird.
Kevin, you're not the shitty dude, are you?
Where's the shitty guy?
Can you guys see my vagina?
I'm watching you, pal.
Andy's running around like a contestant on Price is Right right now.
He picked, I think, the shittiest sign I've ever seen.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's written on the back of the printout to get in here, I think.
What is that?
I appreciated how half-assed it was.
That's what I did.
Oh, no, we're bringing up the baby.
There is a baby on stage
Scott Aukerman is bringing up baby
This is not gonna be good
Wow
Yes
Yes
That kid is not interested in us
We should specify for the listener it's a human baby
It's a human baby
Doug is going to shoot a woot monkey at the baby.
No!
Oh my
gosh.
Now Scott, is this too soon after
your abortion to be this close
to a live baby?
Alright, Jerry, you brought your baby up here.
Hi baby. Hey baby.
What's the baby's name?
Hi, Elliot.
I thought it was a girl.
Elliot, say something.
Oh, Elliot, there's that girl Elliot on Scrubs, right?
Yeah.
So, could go either way.
Elliot looks so bored.
Yeah, Elliot's like, I want tickets to Hall & Oates.
He's seen better.
This is only Elliot's second podcast.
Was this a good...
Dick Kierkegaard seriously has to keep
his mouth shut for this show.
Valiant is playing for someone who
has a Garbage Pail Kids card
that says Ashcan Andy on it.
Is your name Ashcan
or Andy?
Alright, Andy. Good luck
to you. It's got like a kind of
R2-D2 with a
whose face is that, do you think?
I think a Garbage Pail Kid
face.
They all look the same. Alright, Rory's playing
for Kevin who
used an extremely greasy
fry
What do you call the container?
Fry boat.
A boat?
That's a lot more highfalutin description for this than what it is.
Fry boat.
It's a fry boat.
It's a fry yacht.
It's a paper fry yacht that says Kevin on it.
So you're playing for Kevin.
And then
Serafina, beautiful name.
Is that a Jewish star she put on it?
Or a normal star?
Or a real star.
It's a real star.
Serafina just wrote her name
on the back of what looks like her ticket to get in here today.
Her Bumbershoot Saturday ticket.
And she wrote her name on there.
So it's a lesson to all of you that put a lot of effort into this.
Sort of a survivor theme.
I tried to go in the back because I thought, you know, give them a shot, but
all of the name tags in the back are shitty.
Yeah, they got here late.
Yeah, the people who really care
are up here in front, so give yourselves a hand.
Yeah.
We didn't pick them.
We didn't choose you.
Congratulations for trying so hard that it turned all of us off.
Do I get to confer with the baby?
If you'd like, yes.
Thank you.
This is going to be a great bit.
Prepare yourself.
It's just going to sound like you're talking to your wife.
You're just going to be like, what do you think, baby?
Oh, yeah.
Did anyone in the upper deck bring any signs?
I was just asking that and I don't think so
I didn't even fucking see that there was more people up there
If you have a sign
Hey buddy
Yeah there's people in the back
Throw your babies down
Yeah
You're a star
You are acknowledged
You are down here
Alright let's see what we're playing for
We got a lot of prizes in the bag. I already
shot a woot monkey into the audience.
One of these four people will win
a woot monkey and then also
two Valiant Thor
CDs. One's called
Stranger and the other one's called Immortalizer.
You should probably listen to
Immortalizer first
because who doesn't want to live forever?
It's true. They were both made
here in Seattle as well.
And I'm not pandering to the audience. That's a true fact.
It's a true fact
that panders to the audience.
See if you guys can fucking beat that shit.
I shouldn't cuss around these babies.
I'm sorry.
No, that's when you can cuss.
I'm sure this guy says a lot of worse stuff.
Do you want a chair?
What's the worst word you've ever said in front of your baby?
Probably cunt.
Chances are high.
That cunt wanted to abort you.
Chances are high that cunt wanted to abort you.
And I said, no way. Are you letting him out here?
Rebuttal.
Yeah.
I know, daddy, I know.
Amy brought a copy of her CD, it's called Cutting,
and on the back of it
She's pregnant and smoking a cigarette
And drinking
Yeah there's a bottle in a baby carriage
So that's a great image
It's a great theme
Yeah let me know if that kid gets hungry
Don't worry the baby is only making memories
on a sort of a primordial lizard brain level.
That baby looks like it's watching Tree of Life.
And getting it.
Interested, but not excited.
Look at that, but not excited. Look at that.
Discovering his knee.
We're witnessing him discover his knee.
What is this shit?
Do you ever watch the Discover Knee channel?
The whole channel.
I know.
You don't know which way to go on that one.
But I know which way to go now,
and that's to our next prize.
Scott Aukerman wrote out a little coupon.
Oh, yeah.
Whoever wins can turn it in
for a Ridiculous Cage T-shirt.
Speaking of movies,
a podcast I produced,
How Did This Get Made with with Paul Scheer. They sell
t-shirts with Nick Cage's
face on them, and it says Ridiculous
Cage. So,
those are on sale at Earwolf.com.
You can, whoever wins will get one of those.
So, yeah, there's an address they can write
to, and then they have to use the magic word
fart face.
And then... You told everyone
the magic word.
That's the secret code.
No, but I didn't tell them the address to write to.
That's true. I didn't tell them to write to
thewhitehouse.org.
And then
I didn't bring an actual
copy of my new album. I brought a sticker, though,
so you could, you know, stick that in the CD
player and see what happens.
And then my very first CD professional humor edian so it's a lot of CDs and a shirt and a woot monkey are what we're playing for Andy's playing with Amy for Sarafina
and Rory's playing for Kevin and you know my plan for the baby oh you're prizes in here too you know
I have two name tags so the somebody who wins can have one of my name tags.
Oh, wow. All access? No, that's probably illegal.
One of them says Andy Daly, the other one
says Andrew Daly. Andy Daly is a comedian
and Andrew Daly is comedy.
I'm going to say I like Andy Daly better.
What did I do with your prizes, Rory?
I handed it to you in the hallway.
And then you said, this is shit.
And you threw it down and kicked it.
I thought I put it right in the bag.
I don't see them here.
Can I tell people what they would have gotten?
No, because we don't have it.
I don't know where it is.
I don't want to tell them they're going to get a prize that might be lost forever.
I can replace that prize, though.
Because I might have walked a few feet and thrown it in the garbage.
I can replace that prize, though, if they do win it. I love that game show. I can replace that prize, though. Because I might have walked a few feet and thrown it in the garbage. I can replace that prize, though,
if they do win it.
I love that game show.
I can replace that prize.
I can replace that.
I owe you the game.
All right, so your prize was
a couple of VIP passes
for tomorrow's Bumbershoot.
Two VIP passes for tomorrow's Bumbershoot
and then two meal things
for Pamini
dumplings.
So you get free dumplings
and VIP pass, which I think means you can
skip all the lines and see all the comedy shows
as opposed to just the one
that this communist festival forces you
to follow.
Joking, joking. I would never...
The Bagley, this theater...
I love communism.
I love communism, so I would never...
It's actually big enough to...
There's plenty of seats, so...
And of course, no one will hear this podcast
until probably once it's too late,
but if you are listening to this,
again, if you have a time machine
that you built to go see Thor 2...
Come on down.
Hey, man, we're all in time machines
traveling to the future ever so slowly.
Our bodies.
That's not a point for him, is it?
Amy, could you see him out?
That's not one point for Scott.
Please come with me.
All right, let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
We're going to start with Valiant there on the end and then work
our way down to the man with the baby
and the
man whose prizes I threw
in the garbage.
He smiled at Scott.
He doesn't know yet.
This kid doesn't have a problem with audiences.
He hasn't developed taste yet.
Alright.
Valiant gets to pick a category from
I'm using the Leonard Melton app as always.
Would you like
summer blockbusters?
That's movies that were blockbusters
that came out in the summertime.
Of any year?
Oh, I'll tell you the year.
When you pick the category.
Or someone named
at rust underscore monster suggested
nothing but a G thing, and that's
movies that are rated G.
And
at loose canin
suggested leguizamo,
which is movies that have either
leg, quiz, or mo in the title.
So which one of those would you like to start us off with there?
What was the first one?
Summer Blockbusters.
Summer Blockbusters.
I like that, because that's going to be cool,
but I think I might know more
G-rated movies.
That's my forte. Oh, so which one do you want to do? I'm going to choose G-rated movies. That's my forte.
Oh, so which one do you want to do?
I'm going to choose
G-rated movies.
Oh, no.
Not in front of the baby.
I don't want to picture you
sitting in the back of the theater
watching a G-rated movie.
A.K.A. Pants Off movies.
Yeah.
All right. This pants-off movie is from 1979.
You'll be the first one to get to bid on this.
Three stars from Leonard Maltin.
I think he could do better than that.
I don't know.
I haven't seen it in a while.
He calls it enjoyable.
He also says that it has unnecessary cameos.
And there are, and he lists, seven names.
Of unnecessary cameos?
Well, he just lists seven names of the cast,
and we have to figure it out from there.
There's some clues in there.
Andy Daly thinks he knows already.
So out of the seven names,
how many names do you think you can get it in?
VH. 1979, and this is G-rated.
Not necessarily animated.
That'd be interesting to have animated cameos.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
All of a sudden Bambi shows up.
Hey, you know what?
Roger Rabbit did have cartoon cameos,
so it does exist.
Come on, don't ruin my fun.
That's what I'm here for.
Five names.
He says five names, Scott.
I think he couldn't choose between quit and queef and said quiff.
Quiz.
I know which one I chose.
That would have been weird, right?
If he did just yell queef.
Queef.
Well, wait. What he did yell wasn't weird?
No, it was weird, but if he would have just
yelled queef, like that doesn't even
pertain to anything. Queef!
I don't know.
I can't think of any
Q word that he could have yelled
that would pertain to anything that's happening right now.
I want to see the cut of this
young man's jib, so I'm going to say
name that movie. Name that movie with five names?
Sure. Alright, well, the point goes
to him then. That's alright.
Okay. I like the way you
play, Scott. We shall see.
I'll give you the clues again. This could be a major
embarrassment. No, we'll
see, but I feel good for you.
Okay. Three stars from don't. We'll see, but I feel good for you. Okay. Three stars
from Letter. 1979. Enjoyable,
unnecessary cameos, and your
five out of seven names are
Austin Pendleton, Charles Durning,
Dave Goels,
Goels, Goels,
Richard Hunt, and Jerry Nelson.
If you don't know in the audience, please don't yell it out.
And what movie do you think that is?
I have no fucking clue what that movie is.
You were so excited about the family film category.
I was.
So just think of a family film from about 1979 that had a lot of cameos in it, necessary or otherwise.
Family film, lots of cameos.
And you might be able to pull it out.
Scott's strategy is paying off.
Baby's starting to lose it.
Baby knows what's up.
Can you say the names one more time?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll spell one of the names for you because that might help.
Austin Pendleton.
Austin Pendleton. Charles Durning.
Dave G-O-E-L-Z.
I think it's pronounced goals.
Goals.
Is it pronounced goals?
Yes.
One of those rare times when two goals get scored at once.
But when it happens.
It does happen.
An extra ball will end up on the field.
Like an audience member will throw a...
And Richard Hunt and Jerry Nelson.
Jerry Nelson.
I don't know.
He gives up.
Does anybody else think they know what it is?
I was thinking something like the Apple Dumpling Gang, but I don't know.
If that's it, I'm going to be pissed.
That has no cameos in it.
Does anybody know it?
I think it's...
It's a Muppet movie.
That's what I was going to say.
That's what you were going to say.
Muppet movie.
So the point goes to Scott, and then we're off and running.
Scott has a point.
And the audience is apparently not We high fived
Oh baby high five
It was adorable
Alright
That means we're going to start now
With
Rory
He just came again with Rory.
He just came again.
Okay, give the baby back. We're going to start with Rory.
And then we're going to go in the opposite direction
towards Scott.
And Rory gets to pick a category.
Would you like at thumbs down
suggested decapitations?
That's movies where a decapitation
occurs at some point.
Damn. Damn.
Damn.
At James Dreveny
suggested bird watching. That's movies with the word
bird in the title.
And then at McAfee97
Amy Fisher.
That's movies with
Isla Fisher
or Amy Adams. Or Isla Fisher. I's movies with Isla Fisher or Amy Adams.
Or Isla Fisher. I don't know the proper
pronunciation
of that. Rory's on his feet.
She's going to walk through this one.
I'm going to go birds.
Wow.
This movie has the word bird in the title.
It's from
1984.
Leonard gave this movie three and a half stars.
He says that this movie takes place in Philadelphia,
but there's no AIDS.
Leonard!
I was just in Philadelphia
and I was telling him, I don't know why you got saddled with that movie.
Like, that could have took place anywhere.
No, it's in Philadelphia
and also
he says that
one of the actors in the movie is terrific
in a tricky,
physically demanding role. One guy in the movie is terrific in a tricky physically demanding role
one guy in the office I think that's funny and there are six names how many
names you think you get it in Rory Scoville five good opening bit now we go
over there to Scott I want to see the cut of this young man's jib.
I'd like you to name that movie.
Oh, wow.
Five names you get.
Rory!
Rory just slapped the boat. Go fuck yourself, Scott.
Oh, my God.
Who am I, the Tree of Life guy?
Scott.
That was like the great Poseidon Slapping down that boat
That cruise ship
Fry yacht
I'll have the cruise ship of fries
I'm bigger than most people
Alright so you get five names
To come up with the title of this movie
And if you don't
No pressure But If Scott gets this point All right, so you get five names to come up with the title of this movie. And if you don't, no pressure.
But if Scott gets this point, the game will be over already.
Really?
And Amy and Andy won't even have a chance to participate.
That sounds okay.
That formidable team of Amy and Andy aren't going to get to play if you don't pull this off.
Can I have a partner?
Who would you like as your partner?
Is there anybody backstage you think that could help you?
I don't know. I don't know who's backstage.
Go see if you can find somebody.
Hey, sound guy!
He could hear you if you whispered.
He's the sound guy.
He's the sound guy.
Sound guy.
Sound guy Sound guy
He's high today
Hey sound guy
Is there anybody
Like anybody hanging out
On the wings
Like uh
Everybody left
Any other comedians
What's up
Are you good with movies
What about the tree of life guy
Sound guy's like
What's wrong
Is your mic messed up
Alright
Wayne Fetterman
Wayne Fetterman's here
Let's get Wayne Fetterman
Out here
Wayne knew Muppet Everybody knew Muppet Wayne Fetterman. Wayne Fetterman's here. Let's get Wayne Fetterman out here. Wayne Fetterman.
Wayne knew Muppet.
Everybody knew Muppet.
It made me feel like shit over here.
Everybody that's not playing knows the answer.
Have a seat.
Have a seat, Wayne.
I'm more of a pacer.
Here we go.
Did you meet the baby?
No, the baby's right there, Wayne.
Can I hold the baby?
That's uncomfortable.
Let's get Wayne on a mic for a second here so we can say hi to him. Wayne Fetterman. Is the baby playing? Can I hold the baby? That's uncomfortable. Let's get Wayne on a mic for a second here so we can say hi to him.
Is the baby playing?
Scott is playing for the baby.
The baby is a name tag.
Do not let Rory hold the baby.
Guys, I'm great with babies.
The baby's falling asleep.
Imagine me getting it wrong.
Let's keep it down.
Goals!
Goals! Goals!
Alright team of Wayne Fetterman
and Rory Scoville.
We're like a weird family feud.
Good answer, good answer!
The pose before.
That baby's very popular.
That baby's a hack.
All right, we got a great picture.
We got a great picture of the group,
but let's get serious about this game.
Okay, what was the category?
Wayne.
What was the category?
Wayne.
I'm smoking pot backstage. Birds.
Birds, 1984.
Five names or less.
Leonard Maltin said one guy was great,
the other guy was surprisingly something.
Right.
You know what it is, by the way.
Three and a half stars from Leonard.
And the other clue was that, yeah,
the physically demanding.
It has bird in the title.
Yeah, it's not about like birds.
Oh.
It's physically demanding.
No, I thought it was...
Birds.
I literally thought it was about Charlie Parker.
Now, see, here's how the game works.
You don't announce what might be the answer.
I mean, I guess you could just, if you want to commit to that one,
I could give you the five.
Yeah.
It's five out of six names, right?
Yeah, we got this.
We got this. I think you can get this. All right, let's do it. All names, right? Yeah, we got this.
I think you can get this.
All right, let's do it.
All right, and then we're going to have a lot more game to play,
so let's focus.
I don't understand why people talk
when I'm speaking.
All right, here's your five names.
Bruno Kirby was in this movie.
Karen Young, Sandy Barron,
John Harkins,
and Nicolas Cage. There's only one other name
from this 1984 movie.
It has the word bird in it.
What do you think it is, guys?
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
I love this.
You can do your work on the microphone
if you want.
Because otherwise the audience is just listening to silence.
No, I understand, but you were still talking.
I didn't want to get yelled at again.
That happened.
I was yelling when I went, why does everybody speak when I'm speaking? It was cute.
It was very passive aggressive.
It was adorable yelling.
Like no one's even drunk this time.
There's no excuse for it.
Well, it's just the baby.
They wouldn't let us bring beer out here.
I want to go ahead and say that right now.
We would be partying,
but there's some dancers,
they don't want to have sticky
feets.
Vaginas. He said vaginas.
Give him a bow.
I like that.
You didn't have your mic up.
It's good.
I can picture Nicolas Cage trying to fly.
No, I kind of remember this movie.
He was like a kid and he wanted to fly.
And it's not Birdman of Alcatraz.
I know that.
That was with Burt Lancaster.
Don't you mean Bird Lancaster?
You don't have any idea
It's got the word bird in it
And the two of you have no idea
I'm going to say
Nicholas Cage
I'm going to say Birdman
That's the worst guess ever
I brought you out here for Birdman
I'm sorry
I'm new Muppets
Birdman?
I knew Muppets.
That's the second worst guess.
The first worst guess is just Bird.
I don't think it's Bird on the list.
I think it's Bird.
Wait, Bird's in the title?
Well, then Bird.
I understand it was a minimalist guest.
I understand that.
I went for the middle, but it is something like that,
because I remember a guy and maybe a...
Here's a guy.
There's a guy in it, right?
Nicholas Cage.
Maybe it's Bird's guy.
He's got dialogue.
Are there any other clues?
Is there any other clues?
Can we phone a friend?
I just don't want Scott to win right away.
Well, he didn't win right away, thanks to all the delay that's occurred.
So we can bring this thing in on time.
Don't you apologize.
I just did.
Wayne, go think about what you did.
I was so happy backstage.
And all the work Kevin did.
All right, so do you guys want to tell them or should I?
The movie's called Birdie.
Birdie.
Oh.
It was the third worst guess.
We guessed everything but the third worst one.
Did Peter Gabriel do the soundtrack to that movie?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Scott Aukerman wins for the baby.
The baby wins.
This baby is my good luck charm! The baby wins!
Elliot.
I'll take it down, dude.
The baby just fell asleep.
It literally happened.
The baby just fell asleep.
He really did.
Everyone shut the fuck up.
Scott's right.
This baby is asleep.
Scott's right.
This theater baby is finally asleep.
I need Serafina and Kevin to come up here
to tell me who to call a shithead.
And also social services to come get the baby
so we're safe.
Yeah, somebody come get this baby.
Away from this maniac posing as his father.
Serafina and Kevin.
Where are they?
Jerry, how's it feel to win?
Feels great.
I already have...
All right.
Winning those prizes
is a well to which I will not return
Ashkahn Andy put his
shithead on the back of their shirt
Judging by Serafina's shirt
She's too lazy to come up here
You are Serafina?
She's whispering in his ear
I'm sorry, Kevin Several names I'm sorry, she's apolog in his ear. I'm sorry, Kevin.
Several names.
I'm sorry.
She's apologizing for the name.
I can't even,
I don't even know if I'll remember the name
long enough to write it down.
Because it's like,
it's not a name I know,
so I hope I'm even spelling it correctly.
And then the other one was,
oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is the most riveting part of your show, by the way.
No, that's the amazing part.
Every time I had something to say
or moving the show forward, everyone had plenty to talk about.
And the second I have to go take care of something
and you guys could have gone nuts,
you all just go silent.
We're trying not to wake up a fucking baby.
Yeah.
Elliot. Seriously, don't wake up a fucking baby. Elliot.
Seriously, don't wake up that puppy.
Can we say people's names that are shitheads?
Have you ever done that before?
Have you ever actually let the guests pick shitheads?
Or can we just say anybody off the top of our heads?
Or if we really are passionately feeling that someone is a shithead?
Can we do that?
Sure.
This baby is not a shithead, Amy.
This baby is a winner.
I don't know.
The baby did win a laundry bag full of stuff.
When it first came out, it was kind of a shithead.
Yeah.
That's not even mean.
Come on, you guys.
The head was close to the anus.
Tree of life.
Tree of life. Tree of life.
Who do you want to call a shithead, man?
I just want a big fan in Charlotte of your podcast.
Please.
Crystal Whitmore, you are a shithead.
I'm sure she's thrilled now.
She'll be psyched.
That you said that about her.
Do you have anything you want to plug?
You got a new album or another tour?
Strangers is our newest album, but it's a year old.
But I still say it's great, and you should check it out.
I have a new podcast called Rocknology,
and it's just nerding out about old rock and roll,
and you can find that anywhere if you look us up.
You can't find it anywhere.
You have to go where podcasts are.
We are called Valiant Thor, with two R's for rock and roll.
And you spell valiant with an E in it.
So between the V and the T, it says alien.
Alien rock and roll.
Yeah!
I have a blog that does bad movie reviews.
It's called Bad Awesome Flicks Review.
And we do old movies that aren't the fucking Muppet movie, I guess.
I totally fucked that up.
I'm never going to live it down.
Boy, you fucking flailed on the Muppet movie.
You got a lot going on, man.
Yeah, talk about your new perfume you're releasing.
It smells like my pants.
It's called Queef.
No, Quiff.
He was plugging it.
It's Quiff.
He was plugging it.
Quiff.
Valiant Thor Quiff
Okay and
Thank you
Scott Aukerman
What do you got going on?
Comedy Bang Bang Podcast
And you can get the
All three of my
Bumbershoot shows
We're selling those
At Earwolf.com
Paul F. Tompkins
And Andy Daly
Are on all of those shows
And
Yeah I saw the one
Earlier today
With Anthony Jesselnik
It was very funny
Yeah it was really funny
And the live
audience, please come back 6 to 7
tomorrow and the next day.
And this place is big enough. I think you can get into
both shows. I think you can see one and leave and come back
in it because I'll have totally different guests.
There'll be totally new people interrupting me.
And the same
thing will happen again, I'm sure.
Rory, do you have any tour dates or anything coming
up where people can see you?
I do have tour dates on my website, RoryScovel.com,
and I have a CD coming out October 4th.
What's that called?
It's called Dilation.
The baby woke up.
Hey, Elliot, you'll get a free one, duh.
And Andy Daly, you might as well, Andy and Wayne
might as well get some plugs in as long as they're here.
Yeah, Wayne, what do you have to plug? I'll plug you and you plug me.
Okay.
Is that sexual? I don't know.
I don't understand. Why are they laughing?
Why are they laughing?
Because guys sometimes plug each other, I guess.
I'll just second Scott's
plugs of comedy. Bang, bang, I'm in that.
Yeah, you'll be in that, playing different characters?
Stuff like that, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Wayne?
I'm going to be on the Doug Benson podcast,
Doug Loves the Movies, tomorrow.
Oh, you know what?
I had a, it was a booking error,
and this was your only time on it.
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
That was...
And I just wanted to throw out a little trivia
about the Muppet movie.
Oh, here we go
Wake up, Tree of Life
Because I'm a movie buff
Except for the movie Birdie
Muppet movie, the first movie ever to be
Dedicated to another person
You know, at the end when someone
They go, this movie dedicated
That was the first one
That's the first time that happened?
Yeah
Wow, who gives a shit?
What?
That is...
All right.
My favorite part was how that wasn't trivia at all.
You just said a fact.
What?
It's still trivial.
Why would that not be trivia?
Trivias are factual.
I thought he'd ask...
I thought we were about to be challenged to a question.
Trivia doesn't have to be a question. Nah, not in your
world, Andy. Not in your world.
I'm right and you're wrong and it feels great.
But I have a question for
Wayne, a follow-up question to his fact
trivia. Why is that not trivia?
Who was it, who was, who was it
dedicated to? I will tell you in a second,
but why is it shitty and not...
It was ventriloquist by the name of Edgar Bergen.
Oh, because he invented talking to puppets.
Well, he had just died.
Oh, he had just died.
But he did it, right?
He had the greatest job in show business because he did ventriloquism on the radio.
He really did.
Yeah, go ahead.
Say that shitty.
Go ahead.
Who gives a shit?
He also toured around
and everybody knew what the dummy looked like
and so it wasn't that weird.
Who was his daughter?
Oh, this sounds like a question.
It's trivia by your books.
Yeah, that is trivia.
That is trivia.
Yes, I have books.
Oh, I didn't know.
About people's daughters.
I'm going to be taping episodes of Doug Love's movies
and The Benson Interruption at the Gramercy Theater
in New York City on October 23rd.
And I'll be at the Neptune Theater here in Seattle
on Friday, October 28th.
And Amy, what do you got?
I'm going to be doing Cap City Comedy Club in Austin.
Thank you.
September 14th through the whatever.
You'll be there for three or four nights?
Yeah.
You'll have fun.
It's a good gig.
Thank you.
And I'll be on the Charlie Sheen roast on September 19th.
Yay!
Are you going to do that joke you said on the Baltimore show?
I don't think so.
Why not?
Because I said it on your show.
Not that many people got to hear it.
Really?
Yeah.
All right.
Or tell it again now.
Really?
Yeah, sure.
Man, I definitely can't say it.
I'm going to burn it here.
Oh, God.
Well, what did I say?
Oh, yeah.
Well, Mike Tyson's on the dais.
Oh, Mike Tyson?
Yeah. So I was gonna say
Mike Tyson is a racist
oh wait I said that wrong
I'm sorry
Mike Tyson is a
rapist that's better that sounds
better
and then just
I don't know something about all of his rapings
but they told you that was a subject you couldn't do and then just, I don't know, something about all of his rapings.
But they told you that was a subject you couldn't do.
I know, that's why I said it here.
Okay.
Does the baby have anything to plug, I wonder?
I want to plug Daddy!
There's a regular... Oh, that's gross.
Don't plug your daddy.
Anything?
I'm gonna shit my pants.
20 minutes ago, by the smell of it.
Wow, this is just like listening to Charlie McCarthy.
How come we've been on the stage all this time
and you haven't put that hat on that baby for fun?
I know.
He's wearing like a newsy hat.
Yeah, put the hat on the baby.
The baby's sleeping. Let's see what happens when you put the hat on the baby for fun. I know. Oh, he's wearing like a newsy hat. Yeah, put the hat on the baby. The baby's sleeping.
Let's see what happens
when you put the hat on the baby.
Oh my God.
The baby knows a good podcast.
What hat?
You're wearing a hat.
How long is this going to take
to get him to do that?
There it is.
Look at him.
Let's hear it for everybody.
Value Thor, Rory Scovell,
Elliot the Baby,
and Jerry the Dad, Scott Aukerman, Rory Scovell, Elliot the Baby, and Jerry the Dad,
Scott Aukerman, Wayne Fetterman,
Andy Daly, Amy Schumer.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you guys for coming.
And as always,
as always,
Jaylene,
Jaylene Cobine
is a shithead.
Lawrence Walker
Nighthawk
is a shithead.
And Peggy
is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug
to watch another talkie.
Eyes uprooted,
viewing prowess
makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!