Doug Loves Movies - Scott Aukerman, Dan Telfer, and Clare Kramer Guest

Episode Date: November 26, 2013

Doug welcomes comedians Scott Aukerman and Dan Telfer to the show, along with returning Leonard Maltin Game winner Clare Kramer.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California ...Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats with 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! I love you, Doug! Hey, everybody! My name is Doug, and I love movies! This is I Love Movies! Coming to you like we do most Tuesdays at 7 o'clock at the Upright, from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
Starting point is 00:00:41 on Franklin Avenue in Los Angeles. It's November 26th, 2 Oceans 13. Yesterday on a flight from Houston to LAX was none other than, I mean besides me, none other than Eric Estrada. Yeah, who is not shy about loud cell phone conversations that are just bullshit. Text, think, or tank. Just spell it out for me. He didn't know which word they were trying to say.
Starting point is 00:01:14 You know, if that bird had gone down, Paunch definitely would have gotten top billing in that news story. This has been another edition of Plane Droppers. Thank you. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Tomorrow at noon Pacific time. Because I don't know why people in other time zones would need to have this information. But maybe they'll be visiting. Tickets go on sale for the third annual 12 Guests of Christmas show. Right here at UCB on Tuesday, december 17th at eight o'clock we have a two-hour block for that show and i asked every guest who was on last year to come back this year and about 75 of them have already said yes so it's going to be amazing now it's time for tweet relief tweets about movies at the Mark 318
Starting point is 00:02:06 tweeted fun prank this weekend. Run out of the theater and yell, it's catching fire! This has been Tweet Relief. Tweets about being on fire. Tweets about men on fire. Tweets about Denzel Washington.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Tempe, Arizona. I'm doing Douglas movies at the Improv on Sunday and possibly due to holiday weekend or I don't know any other excuses, ticket sales are slow. So come on, Tempe. I think every time I play Tempe, I do this. I have to like
Starting point is 00:02:37 rouse them to buy tickets. Wake up, Tempe. Get your shit together, Tempe. You surprised me last time. Let's do it again. And Jacksonville, Florida never lets me down. And I'll be doing stand-up at the Comedy Zone there on February 12th.
Starting point is 00:02:54 The prize bag, this isn't part of the prize bag. I mean, I guess it could be, but I just want to put this on here. This is from my friends in AM Northwest in Portland. A Douglas Movies
Starting point is 00:03:10 Thanksgiving face. They made a Santa one too, but I only walked out with the Thanksgiving one. Not here tonight, but somehow in the prize bag is a Jonah Ray what do you call this? A something inch?
Starting point is 00:03:26 Seven inch? Okay. Congratulations, Jonah Ray, on your seven inch. It's called This is Crazy Mixed Up Plumbing. And we got a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt, and we got a copy of Gateway, Doug, and as promised recently on on getting doug with high my broken volcano it's broken i don't know how much it would cost to fix it
Starting point is 00:03:53 uh but i signed it and uh put it in the bag for somebody somebody tonight to have to carry home or even better i hope you're going to a club or something and you have to carry around a bag with a volcano in it and then also again no one involved in alias is here tonight but but you're someone's gonna win the complete first season six disc set please give a big warm welcome to returning game winner Claire Kramer along with Dan Telfer and Scott Aukerman I thought maybe Claire was having her baby that's why it was taking so long that would have been exciting
Starting point is 00:04:42 Claire Kramer is back once again, you guys. Is this like week five? Yeah. Week five? Now it really is. Nobody can beat a pregnant woman. That's right.
Starting point is 00:04:58 I mean, I mean, I'm sure some people can. I think her baby is whispering answers in her ear. Or in her vagina, I'm sorry. Her bottom ear. And I'm sure some people can. I think her baby is whispering answers in her ear. Or in her vagina, I'm sorry. Her bottom ear.
Starting point is 00:05:10 She's winning for two, is what you're trying to say. Scott Aukerman, ladies and gentlemen. Wasn't really trying to say that. Hi, America! Claire was nice enough to bring as a gift this alias collection, and Scott was nice enough to sign it.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Yep. So thank you for that. Thanks for watching is what I wrote. It makes sense. Yeah. You were a fan of Alias, right? Yeah, I tried to write a spec one or I tried to give one to JJ at one point.
Starting point is 00:05:36 Did it have the Rimbaldi mishmangy? No, I was trying to write a comedy one like the Comedy X-Files episodes. I was like, JJ, you've never done a... Like a musical episode. Yeah, I knew who JJ was. I had one conversation with him. the Comedy X-Files episodes. I was like, JJ, you've never done a... Like a musical episode. Yeah, I knew who JJ was. I had one conversation with him. Hey, JJ.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Hey, JJ. Here's what you need to do on that show that hasn't really caught on for the whole run. Probably isn't a good time to take chances. Comedy episode. Comedy episode. So I started writing it, and then I got bored. Aww.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Aww. Got bored of trying to make Jennifer Garner funny. I don't agree with that. She's a serious actress. She's a very funny woman. She's a delight in 13 going on 30. I was just going to say that. Because a woman acting like a 13-year-old, it's very sexy.
Starting point is 00:06:25 We did an interruption of Waterworld yesterday at CineFamily. Oh, yeah? And do you remember how Kevin Costner just was constantly hitting the women in that movie? No. Jean Triplehorn and Tina Majorino, our mother and a little girl
Starting point is 00:06:39 who she pretends is her daughter, and he beats the crap out of them. At one point, he takes the little girl and just throws her overboard in a world filled with water. There's nowhere for her to go. A water world? She's going...
Starting point is 00:06:51 That girl is going to drown to death, and he just does it very casually. So it's pretty awesome. That they were... That was that crazy back then. Dan Telfer is here, everybody. Hi! Didn't mean to introduce you with a Waterworld rant.
Starting point is 00:07:10 No, I love drowning women. You do not. You have a wife. I have two daughters. Girls, yes. That's a horrible thing to say. Settle down. I know you like to get out of the house, but you don't want to drown or kill women.
Starting point is 00:07:22 No. Well, if everyone here believed me me then we should call the police let's stop the comedy show let's do that let's call the police if you're listening to this podcast right now press stop
Starting point is 00:07:32 call the police somebody's gonna do it cause they know that that call's gonna get on somewhere if you're listening to this podcast press stop call the police,
Starting point is 00:07:46 tape it, send it to Doug, and the best one... The police tape them all, so they'll have it. What are you doing with your water there, bro? Don't release it right away. I'm removing the label because I am not a shill for this water brand.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I'm not into Kirkill for this water brand. I'm not into Kirkland. Oh, shit. Should not have mentioned it. Scott, is there any, is there new Comedy Bang Bang news? Is there something, anything breaking? We still have episodes till the end of the year. I think we have three or four more left.
Starting point is 00:08:24 They're really good. Our big holiday finale with Zach Galifianakis is coming up. And we're working on season three right now. And start shooting in January. Thank you. Let's suppose there's people out there that don't have IFC. Imagine that those people exist. There's no reason to think about them,FC. Imagine that those people exist. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:46 There's no reason to think about them, really. But if they do exist, how do they watch the program? Oh, well, you're asking about the DVD release? Or just whatever, yeah. How can they see it? It's on iTunes and Netflix and Amazon. But yeah, our first season DVD comes out January 21st, I think, which we did a ton of extras where we have deleted scenes and totally separate interviews.
Starting point is 00:09:10 Like we did five minutes for every single celebrity that was not put in the show. I recorded all new commentaries with the characters who were in the episodes. So we have Andrew Lloyd Webber doing commentary for his episode and Don DeMello doing commentary for his episode. There's not enough talk in the episodes. So we have Andrew Lloyd Webber doing commentary for his episode and Don DeMello doing commentary for his episode. There's not enough talk in talk shows, so you've got to layer it in there.
Starting point is 00:09:31 We wanted to put the talk back in talk shows, finally. That sounds really fun. Yeah, there's a ton of stuff on it. I'm really proud of it. And if you still have a DVD player, you're getting in just under the wire. Dan Telfer, you're hosting Put Your Hands Together tonight. That's right, I am.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Yeah. So that's normally hosted by Cameron Esposito. That's her name. What's her deal? She went for Thanksgiving in Chicago. She's dead. Drowned her. Her and her sisters are dead.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Yeah, she is in Chicago for the Thanksgivings, and she's there with her lovely fiance, Rhea Butcher, and I'm here hosting in her stead. Did you know her in Chicago? I did, yeah, yeah. We did the old open mics and shite together back in the day. Fun. Back in the day.
Starting point is 00:10:18 You really make them come alive from your description. Sounds fun, is what I'm saying. Well, I hope your memory went into sepia tone. It did. Anything from yesterday is in sepia. That shit used to be so brown. This is a real question.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Why does the Wild West have a lock on sepia? You know what I mean? If you see anything in sepia these days, it has to be the Old West. Too much dust in the Wild West. They got dust on all their movie cameras back in the 1800s.
Starting point is 00:10:53 And there's all this sun that just fell on everything. And why did sepia come about? Black and white not good enough for you? No. I think it was just sort of burnt black and white or something. Wasn't that how things used to look on accident? So people are recreating it now.
Starting point is 00:11:12 When film was being accidentally set on fire all the time? Well, it was just getting old and turning brown, I think. That's my theory. It doesn't burn if you leave it alone. If you put film in a canister and put it in an old stock room, it doesn't slowly catch on fire. Well, it won't necessarily catch on fire, but it will deteriorate.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Right? No. Film lives forever. It's like the old saying goes. No, no, no. When I said I'd come on Doug Loves Movies, I didn't know you guys would be talking about how the movies actually were made.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Doug Loves Film Stock. And so good luck with your... Good luck. There's no reason to say that. Good luck hosting your show in an hour. I hope that goes well. And you'll do the backstage interviews like she does. It'll be podcasted.
Starting point is 00:11:54 We'll see. We're going to get a podcast the fuck out of it. All right. Well, maybe if I'm still around, you'll talk to me. Okay. Are you going to die? Am I going to drown you or are you a lady? I don't want to twist your arm or anything have you been to the movies lately dan no because i'm a father but i just watched the
Starting point is 00:12:10 fuck out of the world's end on on demand two nights ago nice i watched it twice because it's really fucking good it's so good i could watch that movie on a loop uh well two times it's kind of like a loop yeah some hours i'm like start it it up again. Let's go. Let's do it. Yeah. I love it. I get frustrated at the end of those Edgar Wright movies, though, because they're so perfect. Oh, okay. But then you're going to give away the end. Well, they set up sequels.
Starting point is 00:12:34 There's like a fucking magical world at the end of every one of them where I'm like, let's do it. But then don't ruin it. That's how you keep the fucking magic is just walk away. Like, have it just be one movie. And then that's it. You set up the perfect sequel. Has there ever been
Starting point is 00:12:46 a sequel you like? Well. Yeah, of course. We can talk about that. Yeah. Do you like sequels? Well, I like Catching Fire. You did?
Starting point is 00:12:55 Yeah, I loved it. Really? I thought it was better than the first one. I heard one clap in the back. I've never heard that before. One person.
Starting point is 00:13:05 That's it. Shut it down. And that person was just trying to change into an animal. Help me. No, I thought it was amazing. Why did the bird
Starting point is 00:13:16 just fly out of the theater? I'm a big fan of the franchise. I thought it was a great... Franchise? I love franchises. Just Subway Sandwiches. It was such a like... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Franchising. Yeah, I don't know if I necessarily thought it was better than the first Hunger Games because I didn't care for either of them, but I also am strangely excited for the third one because it seems like the first two are setting up something truly interesting
Starting point is 00:13:43 in the third one... The third one is going to be truly interesting. The third one smells like it'll have less Stanley Tucci, which I don't really care for. I don't know what he's going for in that portrayal other than just being relentlessly smarmy for no particular reason. I would like to see that character off the set
Starting point is 00:14:03 talking about how he feels about what he's doing. Yeah. But he doesn't. Because nobody gives a shit. In that movie, they barely even show you. How does the TV show even work? There's just cameras in everything. Here we go again.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Back to cameras. Jesus Christ. Well, if you take the logo literally, Doug loves cameras. Yeah, Doug loves cameras. Especially movie cameras. And especially movie cameras. There's hyper cameras. There's cameras everywhere. Oh, that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:14:32 I mean. You know, hyper cameras. Like, what movie in the history of movies, and there is none, so don't answer, depicts a television program that never shows a person in their living room watching that program and reacting to it? You know what I mean? It's weird. But I really feel like we should their living room watching that program and reacting to it. You know what I mean? It's weird. But I really feel like we should. I know.
Starting point is 00:14:48 I kind of want to answer that. Do you have an example? No. Dan? No. Yeah, I knew you wouldn't. Because there isn't one. I just want to bait you.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Have you been in the movie, Scott? Yeah, I saw her last night. What? I saw her last night. The movies? Yeah, I saw her last night The movies? Yeah I saw her last night Her The Spike The Spike Jonze movie
Starting point is 00:15:11 The Jones movie Which is amazing You saw the movie Her Yes Last night I thought you Wasn't that clear? I thought you
Starting point is 00:15:17 I thought you treated movies like boats And I saw her last night I do do that We don't know which one And I thought it was great Scoop You saw it as well? Yeah it's fantastic Yeah I saw her last night. I do do that. We don't know which one. And? I thought it was great.
Starting point is 00:15:27 Scoop. You saw it as well? Yeah. Yeah, it's fantastic. Yeah. Lots of great buzz, award buzz. I saw, what's that one? Would you nominate Scarlett Johansson for Best Supporting Actress even though you don't see her? I was skeptical about that going in, but I thought she was fantastic.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Right. The one that I, and it's Jason Reitman's movie. I saw that Almond Joy. Can that be right? No. What's it called? No. It's called Baby Ruth. Oh, right, right. Baby Ruth. Idiot. Baby Ruth. Now, what's he talking about? What are you talking about? Jason Reitman's movie?
Starting point is 00:15:58 Labor Day. Labor Day. Almond Joy, Labor Day. Synonymous. For some reason, Almond Joy was all I could think of. It's what you do every Labor Day. Ionymous. For some reason, often joy was all I could think of. It's what you do every Labor Day. I saw that. I kind of wonder what the point is. Yeah, you were busy thinking about candy bars.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Yeah. But Nebraska, that's really good, too. Nebraska's good. Yeah, yeah. That's fantastic. It's in black and white. Oh. Sorry to break it to you.
Starting point is 00:16:26 Sorry this is how you had to find out. Because Scott is colorblind. And he wouldn't know. But I love movies like Citizen Kane or The Godfather. Those are my favorite movies. You're really sticking your neck out on that one. I just Casablanca. Give me a film like that.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Maybe it's just me. I don't know about that one. I just enjoy a good movie like that. Gone with the Wind. What about The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie? How do you feel about that one? Since you like the movies. I don't. What is that?
Starting point is 00:17:05 The DC of the B. You don't know what he's talking movies? I don't. What is that? The DC of the B. You don't know what he's talking about? You don't ever get down with some fucking... No, what is that? It's a surrealist movie about people who go to a dinner party and then can't leave and they go crazy. That's how I feel right now listening to that story. Does Godot ever show up to that party?
Starting point is 00:17:21 Yeah, I was going to say. No, but I think the walls melt and some birds show up. Oh, the Walls Melt. You know that kind of movie. Mm-hmm. It's a Walls Melty. Yeah, I just thought you were saying one word
Starting point is 00:17:33 and I didn't know what Walls Melt was. It's a Walls Melt. The Walls Melt. Isn't that a little girl's name? Queen of Walls or whatever? Oh, yeah. Kuvanje Shajavanu?
Starting point is 00:17:44 Who was gonna play Annie. Yeah, she is. Oh, I'm looking forward to that. Before she was yeah. Who was going to play Annie. Yeah, she is. Oh, I'm looking forward to that. Before she was replaced. It's a hard knock life. Oh, no. No, she replaced Jada Smith. What?
Starting point is 00:17:53 Willow Smith. Willow Smith. Oh, man. Jaden Smith. Okay. Jaden Smith was going to play Annie. That would have been exciting. That's a tough day replacing Will Smith's daughter, if you're a producer.
Starting point is 00:18:05 She can whip her hair back and forth. Oof, my goof. So, this is a part of the show where I say, does anyone hunger for games and catching fire? I will set you on fire if you hunger for games. Gentlemen and lady, please pick your name tags from this delightful array your name tags from these delightful array of name tags that people have brought
Starting point is 00:18:28 Jordan retired his baseball long ago but Jordan baseball show up at shows all over the country Jordan of course I know you're about to give birth but she wants you to bring it to her I'm demanding and while those guys look for their name tags
Starting point is 00:18:44 we'll do this we'll be right back and we're back yay She wants you to bring it to me. She wants you to bring it to her. I'm demanding. And while those guys look for their name tags, we'll do this. We'll be right back. And we're back! Yay! Yeah! Clap, motherfuckers! Nice name tag selection, you guys.
Starting point is 00:18:56 You did a great job. I could see. Dan, tell us who you're playing for. Hold it up. I'm playing for Sherry of the Dead. It's on... The name Sherry looks like it's printed out of an employee. What do they call those? Label maker dealios?
Starting point is 00:19:09 Onto the Shaun of the Dead DVD. And on the back, she's hidden her shithead from me because she does not trust comedians who have mush mouths and just go, What the fuck is this? Willem Dafoe, der. So I don't even know who that shithead is. I have to dig through this post-it maze that she made for me if I want to read who that shithead is. I have to dig through this post-it maze
Starting point is 00:19:26 that she made for me if I want to read who the shithead is. Should I do it? Should I just cheat? I'm going to find out who it is. Because you can trust me, Sherry. I won't just blurt it out. Ha ha!
Starting point is 00:19:42 I know what it is, you guys. Claire, just in case listeners are thinking I left the room. Yeah. Who are you playing for? I'm playing for Brittany. Scott Aukerman. I'm playing for Amy. Dude.
Starting point is 00:20:00 We got all-lady contestants up here. I like that. I have a multicolored rabbit. I don't know what this means. Amy? You painted it multicolored? It looks like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Rabbit. It was red and yellow and green and orange and blue and black and ochre and violet.
Starting point is 00:20:20 No, it's like a Jerry Garcia rabbit. Ooh, hey, I like your style. You get high, huh? That's what... All right. Not right now. She comes and stands around backstage while we're smoking, and we're like, should pregnant women be back here?
Starting point is 00:20:35 And she's like, it's all right. This is number four. There is not one study that shows that pot is hazardous to a baby. Oh, well, then we should start one. Let's keep track of Claire's baby. But that's the kind of thing that a stoner says without any actual research
Starting point is 00:20:54 to back it up. There is no proof, man. Not cool. Yeah, we don't... We're not totally sure. My mom did everything. Not weed, but she drank and shot heroin and... Fucked a lot of dudes. Yeah, and look at how good I blood a little fly on my roof. All right, let's do this.
Starting point is 00:21:17 I don't know, what am I looking in my pockets for? I don't know, you were digging like a motherfucker in this one. Yeah, I know, I was excited for whatever you were going to pull out. I got what I need right here. I didn't realize you were vining our things or I wouldn't have talked for 10 years about my DVD. No, it was fine. I just vined the first part. I didn't vine the whole
Starting point is 00:21:31 thing. Don't worry, he cut you off. You didn't get the whole eight seconds. Well, I know he cut me off, but I think the first part was me going da, da, da, da. I'm looking forward to seeing that later. It'll be fine, yeah. Check it out. And you guys, watch At Midnight on Comedy Central. Yeah, watch the shit out of that, you guys. Dan is the behind the scenes
Starting point is 00:21:48 over at that show. I'm the social media producer for that show. Is that the title you have? It is. Social media producer. How hard is it to find the Leonard Maltin app on your phone? When does this thing start? We're going to get this going any second now.
Starting point is 00:22:05 No wonder you're constantly running over. He's building a new app. You think that's why I run over? Oh, he's trying to vine. I'm finishing my fucking vine. You're doing the vines in the middle of the show? Let's get to it. This show is people actually listening to you vine?
Starting point is 00:22:31 How many people have liked it so far? Just put it up. Right. I just finished it. I'll ask you again in like three seconds. It's just you lose vines when you don't finish it all. Update during your live performance? Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:22:43 I was counting on the comedy repartee of the panel to fill that time, as it usually does. We're too interested in you, Doug. We want to look at you. It usually happens. Yeah, you guys are just obsessed with me and my phone. My favorite is when somebody's on the show for the first time and I start to play Leonard Mullen game,
Starting point is 00:22:57 and they go, who are you texting? I'm just like, oh, you son of a bitch. You never listen to this show. I do love when you see those shows where people, like the comedian, instead of bringing a notebook on stage, they bring their phone on stage. It doesn't look like they're playing Candy Crush while they're doing their jokes. People read their jokes from their phone? It's horrible.
Starting point is 00:23:18 Instead of just bringing up a notepad or whatever? Yeah, like it's the new notepad, Doug. Your fucking phone. I don't approve. I don't approve. And then they'll be like, ugh, I don't have a good enough reception to read my notes. Like, you give a shit. Claire gets to go first.
Starting point is 00:23:33 And then we'll go to... Since Scott's giving me the signal, we'll go to Scott. I was scratching my forehead, but okay. The universal sign. What game are we playing, by the way? I don't know if you've said what game we're playing. Letter Mold Game.
Starting point is 00:23:47 Oh, okay. Yeah. Right away. Yeah. What do you mean right away? Sometimes there's other shit. No, we gotta be done. We're in the middle of the other shit right now.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Tonight we're getting done at 745 no matter what. Because this show doesn't go long because I vine. No, I'm hosting the next show. You can just fucking go. We'll see. You get to pick a category, Claire. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:12 At Miguel Dalmau, D-A-L-M-A-U, hope I pronounced that right. It's an unfortunate name. Yeah. He suggested Forest Chump, and that's a movie
Starting point is 00:24:22 where someone is killed in the woods. Okay. Yeah, it's a rather harsh attitude about murder victims in the woods. I did this for Doug LM, so this person created an account just to suggest this category, and I applaud them for doing so. That's good work. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Suggests Bay of Pigs, and that's movies that take place in San Francisco that have cops in them. Okay. I'm intrigued. And your third... I'm glad you're interested. And your third option is We Shot a Zoo, and that, of course, is movies that have hunting in them. So, oh, wow, kind of similar categories. Killed in the woods, or hunting, or cops in San Francisco.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Guns and animals. Okay, what was the parameters of the first category? The killed in the woods? Yeah, someone is killed in the woods, so your precious Hunger Games movies would qualify. Okay, let's do that one. But, of course, those will not in the woods. So your precious Hunger Games movies would qualify. Okay, let's do that one. But of course, those will not be the answer.
Starting point is 00:25:31 You hope. No, I know. I'm looking right at it, Claire. All right. Yeah, I put it in there. Are you trying to throw me off? I made it happen. Would you like a movie where someone is killed in the woods from 2003 or 2011?
Starting point is 00:25:48 2011. Okay. Three and a half stars from Leonard. He really liked this. He says this movie is Canadian. Great review, Ed. So detailed. He also says
Starting point is 00:26:07 that this movie is ingenious and he also says that the two lead characters, actors are wonderful in the title roles. Yeah, from 2011. And he lists
Starting point is 00:26:25 10 names. How many names do you think you get in Claire? 2011. Do you have like a due date? Like now.
Starting point is 00:26:41 It's supposed to happen right now? No, I mean it could happen any moment. All right. Hey, that thing about water breaking, like that's just a euphemism, right? How will we know when you're wearing pants?
Starting point is 00:26:54 We want to have like a dramatic puddle on the floor. Trust me, you would know. But that's not going to happen. I'm going to say 10. I'm not really sure. OK. She says 10, Scott. I'm giving you the sign. Yeah, you gave me the signal.
Starting point is 00:27:16 I'm going to say I can do it in seven. That multicolored rabbit looks like it's just watching out for you. I mean, I'm... It's your guard rabbit. He says seven, Dan. Scott, name that movie. Will do. Three and a half stars, 2011, Canadian.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Ingenious. Ingenious. Titular characters. Titular characters are wonderful in their titular roles and your seven names are alexandra arsino arsino uh travis need a correct spelling travis r a r s e n a u l Nelson, N-E-L-S-O-N, Shailen Simmons, Christy Lang, Brandon McLaren, Philip Granger,
Starting point is 00:28:12 how many names is that? Six. And Jesse Moss. All Canadians. No wonder I've never heard of them. Do you have an idea what it is? Someone's killed in the woods Canadian Two main characters
Starting point is 00:28:31 2011 2011 I'm gonna say Romy and Michelle High school reunion It does have the word and in it. Tucker and Dale versus evil. I actually was thinking,
Starting point is 00:28:51 I was trying to remember the name of that because that's what I thought it was. Tim and Eric tried to send me their movie, the billion dollar movie, before an interview I was doing with them. And they sent me that movie instead. And I watched literally
Starting point is 00:29:07 25 minutes of it thinking it was just their... That it was Tim and Eric's movie, that it was just like a funny prologue to their thing. And I was like... You're like, this doesn't make any sense though. Yeah, and then finally at minute 25 I'm like, I gotta
Starting point is 00:29:23 look up the actors in this. I looked it up and figured out what the title was. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember the title. Did you like those 25 minutes? I thought it was okay, but it's like when you think you're seeing... Was it three and a half star worthy? Well, when you think you're seeing something I just kept going, well, that's not that funny.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Does it have no opening credits? It had no opening credits, yeah. But I just kept going, that's not that funny, but I don't know, Tim and Eric, I don't know. Like maybe it's anti-comedy or something. So that's not the right state to watch a movie. It's very dark and dark. And now you know why the show runs long. Because people have interesting things to say.
Starting point is 00:30:01 That's right. And I can't control. I can't stop you. Claire is on the board. Speaking of unstoppable. I believe Dan is on the board. What? She can have my point.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Whatever. Is this how she won? Five weeks in a row? I just accidentally just give it to the pregnant woman. I was going to keep my mouth shut. I was like, okay. Yeah, she took that point happily.
Starting point is 00:30:22 She was ready to jump in there on six names. When someone accidentally gives her a point, she's a bum. Literally. Dan's on the board. Dan's got points! Yay! Good job, Dan.
Starting point is 00:30:37 That means, since Dan challenged Scott, that means that Claire gets to go first. And then we'll go to Dan, and Claire gets to pick between these following categories. Would you like at I eat your dog suggested Whoa. That person suggested
Starting point is 00:30:57 we are farmers. And that's movies that have sheep in them. I love it. Tricked you guys with that before. The Thin Red Line is movies where the title is misspelled. And at bottom of Q suggested France says ha.
Starting point is 00:31:20 And that's the films of Jerry Lewis. Which one of those tantalizing, never-been-picked categories? The Thin Red Lime. Oh, that's a good one, because you get three options. Would you like a movie that was misspelled from 89, 91, or 93? 89, 91, 93. All right. Three stars from Leonard.
Starting point is 00:31:50 He calls this movie offbeat. He's generous with his stars in all the categories tonight. 1993. And he says that it is effectively ironic and well acted by its talented cast. Six names. Wow, that's it? Yeah. What do you think of that, Claire?
Starting point is 00:32:16 I say six. I say that's why you're still here week after week. Because you're a smart player. Dan? Five names. week after week because you're a smart player. Dan? Five names. Also, I brought in Scott and Dan to take you down, Claire. Name it.
Starting point is 00:32:33 It's not your turn. I also brought them in because I forget how the rules work when there's a pregnant woman. Scott, Dan says five. 93. It's got a misspelled title. It's ironic. It's offbeat. It's three stars.
Starting point is 00:32:51 Three stars. Effectively ironic. Effectively. Only six names, too. Gosh. I'm going to say name it. Oh. How many did you get? Five?
Starting point is 00:33:08 Yeah, yeah. Five names? Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm semi-confident. In you? I'm semi-hard. In who? Gregory Mars Martin.
Starting point is 00:33:22 That's three names. Uh-huh. That's three of your five names. Yes. Sierra Pechur. P-E-C-H-E-U-R. Here's where it gets good. Michelle Forbes. David Duchovny.
Starting point is 00:33:38 And Juliette Lewis. Oh, shit. Yes, right? It's misspelled, whatever it is. And you have 83 seconds. Really? That's a lot of seconds. I meant 3 to 8 seconds.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Um, yeah, I don't think this is right, but is it existence? No, that isn't right. It's misspelled-ish. Yeah, no, at least't right. It's misspelled-ish. Yeah. No, at least you named something that's misspelled. But who challenged you to name it?
Starting point is 00:34:12 Scott did? Scott is on the board. Californication. No. California. With a K. California. It's California with a K.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Isn't that weird, though, that he was in two separate things? That's a great movie, by the way. I like that movie a lot. It was a great movie. It's effectively ironic. You started three stars. It's totally offbeat, that he was in two separate things. That's a great movie, by the way. I like that movie a lot. It was a great movie. It's effectively ironic. You started three stars. It's totally offbeat. It was offbeat, for sure.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Wouldn't it be interesting if Californication was spelled with a K, and it was like a sequel to that movie? It would be so much more interesting than just with a C. I would like him to murder people instead of just making quips all the time. I agree. Yeah. So we have a two-way tie between Scott and Dan, and Claire is for once in our damn lives.
Starting point is 00:34:51 That's okay. Is bringing up the rear. You're going to have the baby the next week, right? I mean, theoretically. And then what do you do when you, what's your maternity leave situation like? How long before you start going out and about again well this time
Starting point is 00:35:06 I'm kind of lucky because I'll have the baby before the holidays so I'll have that month sure you'll have you can sit out holiday month yeah I mean
Starting point is 00:35:13 I've had set calls like three four weeks after a kid and that kind of is difficult yeah but that's not
Starting point is 00:35:21 going to happen this time because it's the holidays so I'll be rocking and rolling in January. Do you need a babysitter? Oh, that was a little deeper than I thought it would come out.
Starting point is 00:35:34 I know some really good ones. Yeah. Do you need someone to stare at your children? Or throw them in water? I could drown your children. Yeah. No. This is exciting.
Starting point is 00:35:51 This is truly a nail-biter. So what happened that last time? Scott... I challenged and won. Yeah, yeah. So they challenged... You challenged Dan, so we start with Claire again. She's picking all the categories.
Starting point is 00:36:05 And then we go with Scott. I know. There's some weird... It's going her way. ...vogue con going here. No, it's all right. She's going to pull this out. It's going to...
Starting point is 00:36:11 This will be tricky for her to pull it out, and I will have to apologize to put your hands together if she does, because it'll take a while. It'll take a while. Claire, would you, like, beat me up Scotty? That's movies where Simon Pegg hits someone. Okay. The Man with One Red Shoe.
Starting point is 00:36:29 That's movies where someone is shot in the foot. Oh. Or Life Takes Visa, which of course is movies where someone gets deported. Let's go with the shot in the foot. All right. Get rid of that category. It's been lingering for a while. shot in the foot. All right. Get rid of that category. It's been lingering for a while. 1991 is the year.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Two and a half stars from Leonard. He says this movie is assured and fast moving. And he also says that someone in the movie is in desperate need of a hairstylist. Oh. So many details. Yeah. Desperate need of a hairstylist. Oh. So many details. Desperate need of a hairstylist. That is one of the worst clues I've said out loud.
Starting point is 00:37:12 There's no way you'll think of this movie based on that clue. But now, maybe you will because now you know what a crazy clue it is. That I should disregard that clue. Yeah, and Leonard names a whopping 11 names in the cast of this film from 1991. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Where someone gets shot in the foot. Desperate need of a hairstyle. Yeah, yeah, like I said, you shouldn't concern yourself with that. Leonard Maltin, heal thyself. Has he ever looked in a mirror? His hair is fine. It's just man hair.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Nine. Claire says nine. Name. Nine. Claire says nine. Name's Dan. Have you gone over the prize bag yet? What do you mean gone over it?
Starting point is 00:38:13 Have you said what's in there? Yeah. You talked about the alias thing. Why, do you have something in there? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Yes, but... What did you put in there?
Starting point is 00:38:23 Jonah Ray 7-inch. Yeah. Yeah, I mentioned it. I forgot to attribute you to having brought that. How many did you say? I said nine. I'll do five. Handed the win over to Scott, I think.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Dan, I gotta say name that movie. Alright, I mean, that sounds like maybe you have kind of an idea already. Alright, here's your five names. Tom Sizemore, Julian Reyes, Vincent Kinn, spelled names. Tom Sizemore, Julian Reyes, Vincent
Starting point is 00:39:05 Kyn, spelled Klyn, K-L-Y-N. The great Vincent Klyn. Sidney Walsh, and John Philbin are your five out of eleven names for this movie.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Two and a half stars, 1991. And it's assured and fast moving. Not unlike Scott Aukerman himself. What was that now?
Starting point is 00:39:38 He said you're very attractive. You're assured and fast moving. Claire and I were whispering back and forth. We knew the last one. I got the digits. We think we know this one. I have a weird fetish where I want to have sex with a pregnant woman on the day they have their baby.
Starting point is 00:39:57 Right before they have it or right after? During. I want to be the thing going in that something's coming out. Well, you know, that does help get the process going. Lubrication. It's not just an old wives' tale. Hitting the old mucus plug.
Starting point is 00:40:18 What? Too far. Name the movie. What's happening? What I said was classy. What you said is disgusting. The mucus plug is a beautiful part of the body that people try to wash away as quickly as possible.
Starting point is 00:40:34 I thought I knew it and I don't. So let's say it is Willow. What did you think it was? I thought it was that, and I already forgot what the name of it is because my memory is great, but the fucking ambulance movie, when it was time to die for.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring in, bring in. That was way after that. Before that, I thought it was that movie where everybody shoots at each other and the one guy has bleached hair. I thought it was True Romance, but I feel like I'm off on the date on that.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Yeah, I thought that's what I meant. Yeah, it was later. I was going to say, but I don't think this is right either. Wait, what was my other guess? We're all really good at movies, you guys. It was either, I think I'm wrong on the date too, Reservoir Dogs, but that's not right.
Starting point is 00:41:18 And Sizemore wasn't in it. But then the other, my backup answer was something. What was your backup, backup answer? That was True Romance. That was my third choice. My second choice now, I can't remember. The rest of the names were James LeGrow, John McGinley, Laurie Petty, Gary Busey, Keanu Reeves. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:40 And in need of a new hairstylist. Point break. Patrick Swayze. Point break. Yeah.wayze. Point break. Yeah. He's a surfer. Yeah, right. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:41:48 Come on. Why give him a hard time about that hair? That's like saying Annie is in need of a new hairstylist. It's like, come on. It's iconic. She is. She is. Yeah, she's running from giant magical bowlers all day.
Starting point is 00:41:59 She's got stupid hair. Scott Aukerman is our winner. Yes. In your face! In your pregnant face! Finally, someone... I'm happy for you, Had. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Like everyone was going easy on you, I think. Not true, not true. You were a great player the entire time. She barely got to play tonight, but that's the luck of the draw huh well anyway Scott what are you doing next week I
Starting point is 00:42:36 I could be here how about two weeks from now I don't know three weeks from now you'll definitely be here I definitely will be here on sale tomorrow at noon oh next Tuesday I'm seeing Walter Mitty I don't know. Three weeks from now, you'll definitely be here for the 12 guests of Christmas. I definitely will be here three weeks from now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. On sale tomorrow at noon. Oh, next Tuesday,
Starting point is 00:42:49 I'm seeing Walter Mitty, supposedly. Okay, so we'll see you in two weeks. Two weeks? I could do two weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Let's get Brittany up here
Starting point is 00:42:57 to select a shithead. And Scott, I know we talked about Comedy Bang Bang and when it's coming out on DVD and all that stuff but is there anything else pertinent you want to plug? Yeah I'm on
Starting point is 00:43:10 Podcastathon. Will this be out before then? Yes. Okay yeah watch Podcastathon this Friday the day after Thanksgiving noon to midnight I think all a benefit for Smile Train and people can see that I forget where they can see it,
Starting point is 00:43:26 but pardcast.com. pardcast.com or lafster.com. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll be there. Phil Hendry's coming by. Zach Galifianakis. Andy Richter.
Starting point is 00:43:36 Yeah. A lot of good people this year. It's going to be great. Yeah. Let's raise some money. Let's do that. That sounded really weird coming out of my mouth. Let's not to be great. Yeah. Let's raise some money. Let's do that. That sounded really weird coming out of my mouth. Let's not raise roofs anymore.
Starting point is 00:43:50 There's no reason to raise the roof. We need the roof to stay where it is. Yeah. Let's raise some money for Smile Train. Let's raise the roofs of their mouths. Claire, what do you got going on besides this baby thing? The baby thing, you can watch Big Ass Spider. Is there a chance the baby just might be good where it's at and just not want to leave? I mean, it's starting to feel that way, dog.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Will you text me when you go into labor? I sure will. Because I want to tell all the listeners when it's happening. Absolutely, I will. And I hope it's today or tomorrow. I would really like it to be. Claire, is your character in the Buffy comics? No.
Starting point is 00:44:27 No? Oh, wow. No. Were you killed in Buffy? No, I wasn't killed. So you might be coming back then. In that show that doesn't exist anymore. In that show that is...
Starting point is 00:44:36 But the comics are like canon and they're still going. They talked about, yeah, they talked about whether Glory body jumped into Giles. Ooh. Interesting. I'd like to body jump into Giles, if you know what I mean. That's right. I don't know what you mean. At least three inches of my body.
Starting point is 00:44:57 You want to break his mucus plug. Hey, Brittany, did you want this thing back? Yeah, sure, why not? Amy, come get your thing. And come get the prizes, Amy. Congratulations. Yay! There you go, Amy.
Starting point is 00:45:13 I know you're Brittany, but I thought it was funny to just give it to you. A thank you is usually in order for someone who wins a person a thing. She didn't give me a look. At the very least, like a kiss on the mouth. Yeah, if not a thank you, I'll take one of those. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Jeez. At the very, very least. You here with your husband? She's looking at that guy like, who? Kiss him. It's the Doug Loves Movies kiss cam. When you hear Doug say, kiss him,
Starting point is 00:45:53 you know it's on you. All right. Dan, what do you got going on? I have a show I'm headlining in Chicago on December 28th at the Main Stage Theater. If you're in Chicago, you should go see that thing. And fucking at midnight, still playing hashtag games and stuff on the social media until it comes back on January 6th. Yeah, so follow at midnight.
Starting point is 00:46:18 Follow at Dan Telfer, at Claire Kramer, at Scott Aukerman. And just the mildest of apologies to Put Your Hands Together because you're hosting it tonight and you're sitting right here. We're gonna make it. And we're only three minutes late. And as always, Rick Perry is a shithead, y'all. I read the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:46:42 It's very important. I'm glad you got it. And you probably want your Shaun of the Dead DVD back, right? Is it in there? Yeah There you go Oh, it's not yours? You had to borrow it? Oh, nice catch Nicely done
Starting point is 00:46:55 And that kid from Waterworld is a shithead Now it's time for Doug to watch his other dog eat. Guys, the world is viewing prowess. Make it a heat. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.

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