Doug Loves Movies - Scott Aukerman, Jon Hamm, and 11 Others Guest
Episode Date: December 16, 2014The 5th annual 12 Guests of Christmas: West Coast Edition with Scott Aukerman, Jon Hamm, and 11 other guests - yes, 13 guests!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Pr...ivacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hi guys. So does anybody know the theme song by heart? Because now's your chance to join in and be on the podcast. So aim your voices towards this mic.
Your first note is Doug. Ready? Here we go.
Doug hates
candy wrappers
screaming baby sticky
seats with 50 ads
and popcorn kernels
in his teeth.
There's still
not one that he
won't see
cause Doug
loves movies. lives movies Good singing.
Hey, hey, hey everybody.
Season's
grootings.
Let's hear it
for Garfogocal and Firm.
And audience.
Great job, audience.
Excellent version of the live version of the theme song.
That was weird.
That mic cord
scurried off like it was a scene
from Tremors or something.
Some crazy snake.
My name
is Doug and I love movies.
This is God Loves Movies!
Coming to you once
again from the UCB Theater
in Los Angeles for the
I'm pretty sure this is true, fifth
annual 12 Guests of Christmas, the original West Coast edition.
As you can see, we have 13 chairs, and I'm pretty sure all of them are going to be filled.
sure all of them are going to be filled.
It's Tuesday, December 16th, and tonight we're going to
play a massive
single elimination version
of the Leonard Maltin game.
But first, I'd like to remind
Seattle, San Diego, and Sacramento
listeners that Douglas Movies is coming to you
this month, and to go to
DouglasMovies.com to
point you in the right direction to get your seats.
Fight to get a ticket!
The prize bag has a lighter
from my friends at Chameleon Glass
and also, what's this thing called?
Oh yeah, Bananagrams.
Got some Bananagrams because I was on at midnight the other night.
And also some delicious cookies.
That's what I'm contributing.
But then there's going to be 12 to 13 more prizes in what will probably be a prize pile.
So let's get them all out here and get this thing started
because if you know from previous years,
this could take a while.
And we've got, I think, the statistics, I think,
are on my side here that we have some of the greatest players
of the 12 Guests of Christmas.
Like we have champions from all of the 12 guests of Christmas like we have champions
from all of the first four years
are here
tonight and so they're going to go
head to head once again and it could get ugly
let's give a
big warm Christmassy
welcome to
Scott Aukerman, Graham Elwood
John Hamm, Nick Kroll
Mike Lawrence, Sam Levine, Ricky Lindholm,
Jimmy Pardo, Mike Furman, Kevin Pollack,
Greg Proops, Sean Sacamai, and Rich Sommer.
Check,, check.
Check.
Check one, check two, check in one and two.
A little bit of feedback.
Ladies and gentlemen, Kevin Pollack. You're not about to us.
You've got to give one to us.
Yes, absolutely, sir.
Absolutely.
All right.
So,
sounds like the mics sound amazing.
Are we,
was it feeding back a little bit, or are we good?
No.
Yeah, we fixed it.
All right, that's...
I think...
It was hard for me to tell in the din, but...
No mime comedy, Greg Proops.
I think...
I'm pretty sure Graham Elwood won the Pete Holmes Award for the evening.
So congratulations on that.
I'm not familiar with that award, but I'll take it.
It's the person who speaks first when not spoken to.
Pete Holmes, of course, is the champion at that.
But I couldn't tell. It was a close one.
We'll have to go back and listen to the tape.
My mic seems a little on the funky side,
but maybe you guys can fix that.
Seems a little hollow, yeah.
We go back in this business.
Combined, Jimmy and I have been in stand-up comedy
for 114 years.
That's accurate, yes, sir.
Yeah, so we know the difference between a hot years. That's accurate. Yes, sir. We know the difference
between a hot mic and a hollow mic.
Yes, sir.
I think mine's
just about perfect right now.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I know you just sat down.
Slow down.
But it is time
to pick your name tags.
Some guy is yelling Sam
because he's got something he's made especially for him.
And while each and every one of my 13 guests
goes off to select a name tag,
hi, Nick Kroll,
we're going to go to a commercial break.
We'll be right back.
Oh, and I also forgot to mention, we're going to go to a commercial break. We'll be right back. Oh, and I also forgot to mention, we're back!
All right, nice, nice name tag selection process.
It was very, I should have done a vine of that.
It was very nice.
Not too much yelling.
Did Sam, did you pick the one that that guy was yelling at you about?
No, okay, that's cool.? No, I played for him before.
Oh, you've played for him before.
All right, fair enough.
I've done this before.
Ha ha!
Oh, I'm super happy to have you.
I'm super happy to have you.
It's my first day.
You didn't see the recap at the beginning previously on Doug Loves Movies.
Alright, we're going to meet
all of the guests as we play the game.
You don't have any mics?
No.
Good plan.
Yeah, pass the mics around.
Everybody should get a chance.
So we're going to do this family feud style
where I'm going to meet all you guys as we play the game.
But to determine...
I think that's the theme from family feud.
Okay.
Thank you, John.
Was that a whistle?
Oh, no. Was that a whistle? Oh, no.
What did you do?
That's like saying
Candyman.
Oh, my God. I thought that whistle
was adorable. It was adorable.
It was a cute whistle.
Can you whistle, John?
Oh, no. More
whistling. He's fucking challenging
me. You see what he's doing? He's calling me out.
That's bullshit.
It's like we're in a bar in the Old West
and he's challenging me.
All right, I know how to get this group to settle down.
To determine who goes first in tonight's massive, massive game,
we have our friend Mark Wahlberg.
You guys want to do some fucking live? You like it?
Fucking do this, come on, feel it, feel it! How are your holidays going?
Are you insulting less people this time of year?
They're going great.
You're lucky I can fucking make it tonight.
Donnie's got a job to do.
What's he doing?
He's starting a fucking wreath business.
So he's trying to steal a Christmas tree
across the street from Gelson's right now.
All right, well,
we're all excited
about your new movie,
The Gambler.
It's going to be out
on Christmas Day.
Fucking kill it.
I got skinny.
I'm going to win an Oscar.
It feels like you're not
even really in contention.
There hasn't been
a lot of talk about you.
McConaughey did it.
The guy who makes a movie
about a country club
in Dallas
and wins a fucking Oscar.
I'm going to do
the same goddamn thing, bro.
All right, buddy.
So he's going to say,
Mark's going to say
a line from a motion picture.
Hopefully it's something
someone will recognize.
Not necessarily
a Mark Wahlberg film.
No.
It's either a movie I was in,
should have been in,
or turned down. That's the only
three types of fucking movies there are.
And I don't care if it fucking was before I was
born. They should have waited.
Yeah, so
just yell it out when you know the answer
and me and the audience
will try to look at all of your faces
and know who said it first
because I bet you a bunch of people will pile on
simultaneously.
Mark's really fired up
for this one. I'm going to kick this line's fucking ass, bro.
Alright, here we go.
You ready? Yeah, I'm gonna look at the contestants.
Look good, feel good.
That's not the line.
He says that to himself
before doing it.
These hands.
These hands. I tried to hold them
and I couldn't do it.
These hands.
These hands. I tried to hold them and I couldn't do it. These hands. These hands.
I tried to hold them and I couldn't do it.
These hands.
13 people don't know the answer.
I tried to hold them and I couldn't do it.
I couldn't hold them against the nothing.
These hands.
This is a great scene.
Is the line over yet?
Or is that, did you repeat it a few times?
I tried to hold them against the nothing and I couldn't do it.
The never ending story? It't the never-ending story
it is the fucking
never-ending story
oh Mike Herman
with the nice pull on
that
well thank you for
coming by Mark it's a
small role for you it's
unusual you're usually
the star of everything.
Well, you know what? I feel like I won.
Hey, Merry Christmas, Doug.
Merry Christmas,
Mark Wahlberg.
Donnie, let's go!
No, Donnie, you can't
go on. Stay back here.
Hey, Doug, can we borrow
Mark Wahlberg's mic?
Who wants the fucking dreams case?
Hey, hey, hey.
No, no.
Take that with you.
Get out.
Take it with you.
Don't fucking get it, Bob.
Take it with you.
We have just the three because with three microphones, there'll be enough interruptions.
You're trying to control the chaos.
I've tried to a little bit.
It's not going to work. But that's how I do it with three microphones. Let's trying to control the chaos. I've tried to a little bit. It's not going to work.
But that's how I do it
with three microphones. Let's get 13
comics out here and not let them say anything.
Most of you have been
saying things.
I can't stop that from
happening.
We're going to start with Mark Furman.
Police officer
Mark Furman is here.
Is Darren Wilson booked tonight?
Mike Furman gets to start us off.
I get to ask him five questions, though.
The first is, what did you bring for the prize bag tonight?
Oh, for the prize bag tonight, I brought a little tiny drum set.
It's a little drum set with little drumsticks and a cymbal.
So you don't have to say ba-dum-ching anymore.
You can have this on your belt and rimshot your friends.
I think that belonged to Kid Rock's midget.
There's a drum kit
on stage that's in danger of being
trod on by a dwarf.
Yes, Never Ending Story.
Wow.
And who are you playing for, Mike Furman?
I'm playing for, hello, my name is Callie
That's who I'm playing for, right there
Alright, that's a
Very pretty sign
Very nice
And do you have any plugs?
Anything you're plugging?
Because if you lose today, of course,
you will have to leave the stage.
Oh, this is my chance. This is your chance
to plug something.
I am still working on a...
I've been working on this. Since I had kids,
my productivity level is
through the floor. So
as of last year, I'm working on the exact
same project,
which is an album for kids of kids' music called
Songs to Sing at Children.
All right.
I look forward to hearing that plug again
next year on this stage.
Songs to Sing at Teenagers.
It's just going to grow with them.
So you're such a busy man that,
have you had a chance to see any films lately?
I saw Birdman recently.
Okay.
Yeah.
Did you like that?
I liked it.
Okay.
It was a very,
I feel like,
I saw,
I feel like it was,
I don't want to ruin it for anybody,
but it was a very high stakes Broadway thing
where there's like life and death stakes for a Broadway actor.
And I felt like it's kind of like The Swan in that way where there's also high stakes life and death.
And I feel like I'm not a big, huge Broadway guy, but I feel like these days movies about Broadway have to be life and death stakes.
Like you can't just have, not since like Brain Donors was there, let's just go to Broadway.
What?
That was the ballet.
Yeah.
Oh, was it?
Is there a difference?
All right.
I don't know what just happened,
but I feel pretty good about it.
We're not ready.
We don't have a mic.
Oh, if only Nick Kroll
had a microphone.
My question is just if I could get Mark Wahlberg's microphone.
He still wants Mike Wahlberg's microphone.
Birdman, good movie.
I liked it.
All right, cool.
And my fifth question to you is, are you ready to play?
I am ready to play.
All right.
This question to you is, are you ready to play?
I am ready.
All right.
Sam Levine is up next, so that's unfortunate for everyone.
I'm just saying, it's a powerful position right there,
and Mike has to go up against him.
Mike gets to not pick a category.
He gets to have one shoved at him.
Because I don't waste time with picking categories in this massive game.
And this is a category.
I'm very excited to be finally putting it to bed. Take your time.
Clearly.
Very excited.
It's easily one of the best. Clearly. Very excited. It's easily one of the best.
When I go
back and think of all the categories,
this one is called Paper,
and it's films where
Dwayne Johnson dies.
Oh, okay, yeah. Because paper beats
rock. To death, yes. Paper, okay, yeah. Because paper beats rock.
To death, yes.
Paper beats rock to death.
Who beats Edward Scissorhands?
The year of this particular film is 2007.
All right.
I was a boy.
One and a half stars from Leonard Maldon for this movie.
Mm-hmm.
He calls it Sl slapdash.
Oh, a good old slapdash, boy.
It's super slapdash.
But he does say that Dwayne the Rock Johnson
is funnier than most of the rest of the cast.
All right.
And then he lists of that cast,
he lists eight people.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Mike Furman?
Oh, no fewer than seven.
All right, seven's a good opening bid.
Thanks.
Sam will probably smash the shit out of that.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, we're off to Sam,
and then we'll be coming around to Graham.
We're in a powerful part of the lineup.
Sam, can I ask you five questions?
Yeah, sure, Doug. What's up?
Who are you playing for?
Oh, I'm playing for Jenny Which Way You Can.
Excellent name tag.
Yep.
And what'd you bring for the prize bag,
Sam Levine? I brought two of the
greatest movies
in the history of filmmaking.
The Jim Caviezel
Dennis Quaid Masterpiece Frequency,
which is actually one of my favorite
films. And then another
film that is also very
funny, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
So that is a double
feature for you and your lady.
One for you, one for her.
Which is which?
Your choice. Yeah, I'd say
they're both pretty girly, but
it's cool.
It's totally cool. And have you
been to the cinema lately, Sam? I have.
I've seen a bunch of films. I saw Whiplash
and Birdman and one or two others.
Yeah, that was right.
I stole Kevin Pollak's
Whiplash screener.
That's how I saw it.
Oh, okay.
Yep.
Probably not allowed
to say that
on the podcast.
Yeah.
You got any plugs
besides the Kevin Pollak podcast?
Oh, yeah.
New episodes
is Selfie
are on Hulu.
Oh!
Yeah.
How about that?
Do your selfie a favor and check that out.
Yeah.
And are you ready to play?
I believe I am, Doug.
All right.
That was painless.
Yeah.
He says seven names.
Negative one. Oh.
Mike Siegel's having a Christmas party tonight,
and they're going to get over there pretty early.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
Well, Graham Elwood, you have won two out of the four previous 12 guests.
Thank you.
You were in the final two last year. Yes. 12 guests. Thank you. We got down to the,
you were in the final two last year.
Yes.
And now here you are in this position.
Let's start with your plugs.
Let's, yeah,
Earbuds podcasting documentary.
Many of you maybe have helped contribute to that.
Yeah, we're in post-production on that.
You can pre-order stuff for that.
And one of my prizes is the earbuds T-shirt.
And you can buy those online at comedyfilmnerds.com.
So check that out.
Pass your prizes down.
And Sam, pass your stuff down.
Oh, I have a Whistling Bane shirt.
We're going to be doing a show in Tiananmen Square on New Year's Day.
So check that out.
Yeah, tickets.
A couple tickets still available.
Chinese government's all behind it.
Can't say no to the Banes.
If you can't get a ticket, just roll up in a tank and you'll be set.
You'll get right in.
And have you been to the movies lately, Graham?
Yeah, I just saw Wild, which I very much enjoyed with Reese Witherspoon.
She's out there in the wild.
Somebody told me
not to see that with my mother.
Is that good advice?
Is your mother in it?
Yeah.
Is your mother not like hiking?
Yes, that's why I shouldn't see it with her
because she's in it.
She plays Reese's love interest
out on the trail.
What the fuck?
But I hear there's like,
isn't there like a graphic sex in it or something?
There is some, but yeah,
I mean, it's not too crazy about that.
It's really all quick flashbacks.
Is it wild sex?
It is totally wild.
Doug's mom fucks in the movie?
I can't hear what you're saying.
It's a good thing you don't have a microphone.
That's why you don't have a microphone.
Keeps landing these gems and I don't know what you're saying. It's a good thing you don't have a microphone. That's why you don't have a microphone. Keeps landing these gems and I don't know what to do.
I just did a joke.
Who are you playing for?
Who are you playing for, Graham?
I am playing for Ryan,
Return of the Ryan.
He's got a Return of the Jedi lunchbox.
Of course he does.
And it's filled with chocolate treats for everybody.
Why don't you throw them into the audience?
That'll be fun.
Or share them with everybody.
Get some energy.
We deserve everything.
Alright, so everybody's getting some candy.
And be sure to unwrap those
before the performance begins.
There you go.
No, I'm good.
Thanks.
Okay.
Graham, tell me all the parameters of this film again?
Did I ask you if you've seen anything lately?
Yeah, we were just talking about Wild.
Oh yeah, Wild.
Alright. Jesus.
One and a half stars
for Mr. Maltin
for this movie
that
The Rock
Dwayne Johnson
dies in it.
Leonard says he's funnier
than
other people in the movie.
And he also calls the film
Slapdash.
Slapdash.
And Sam went
negative one on your ass
this might be an early exit
say that into the mic
have her twix
it's a lot better with a twix
it'll make you feel better um ah fuck negative one yeah that's
what sam says name it all right so uh no i got it it's referring to the microphone oh man
the name of the film
and the top billed performer
and I won't say if you're right or wrong
until you say it all
I believe the film is Reno 911 Miami
and Carlos Alsrocki
would be top billed alphabetically
that's correct.
We have to say goodbye to Graham Elwood,
and we'll be hearing this tonight.
Every time we lose a player,
we'll hear the ceremonial...
There it is Graham
Graham, hang on
I'm going to need a ride with you in a second
I was between you and Ricky
Which I thought was a shit spot
Now I'm between you and Levine
Levine?
Yep
Thanks, Graham.
Graham Elwood, everybody.
No problem, Doug.
Anytime you need me, I'll just be back here on the microphone.
Oh, should have left this backstage.
Yeah, we don't have any control over the volume on it whatsoever.
Oh, boy.
Well, that was a big start to this event.
Reno 911 made a movie?
And needed a call of Miami, by the way.
Sorry.
Sorry about that.
It's Reno 911 exclamation point.
Miami.
But I didn't want to hold you to that
because, you know, that's crazy.
All right, so...
Are we still playing?
We're going to still play, Greg.
We're still going at it, Greg.
Jimmy Pardo is here, everybody.
Hello.
Hey, Sam Elwood.
Hey.
All right.
Sam Elwood makes a grand idea.
He makes it.
Thank you.
Who are you playing for, Jimmy?
Hey!
You can go back.
This is what happens, Jon Hamm.
He forgets that he does that
if you don't bring it up.
Yep, he lost.
Now we all lose.
No matter who wins, we lose.
True that, Scotty!
Jimmy, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for
someone named Ouija.
I got, it's
A, it's Allie, A, L,
and then, oh no, not the I, an I she wrote in.
She wrote an I into the name.
Even though there's an I she could have used.
There's one right there in the alphabet.
But then I would have read ale.
Yeah.
Listen, don't use logic, whoever the fuck just said that behind me.
I had a big bit planned on the letters,
and then you just sucked the fun out of that,
Mr. Dustbuster of comedy.
Who was that? Was that you, Scotty?
Hello, Jimmy.
Atta boy!
Atta boy!
You know what I say to you, Scott?
Yes.
All right, so I'm playing for Allie. Doug and I, I've got the goods I have,
is I have a signed Sprezzatura,
number one on iTunes
CD
comedy
right in the background
so right there in the back
and then I've got
two
and again
I signed these
my pleasure
a couple of packs
of rock cards
those are trading cards
with rock stars on them
I signed those
did I create them?
no I did not
I bought them
what's your favorite rock star trading card? I could go Survivor yeah I signed those. Did I create them? No, I did not. I bought them.
What's your favorite rock star trading card?
I could go Survivor.
Yeah?
Is that one worth a lot?
It's worth more
than the others in my mind.
What is it?
A picture of Jeff Probst?
That's the television program.
This is with the
rock and roll outfit.
Oh, I see.
They did that
Eye of the Tiger
from Rocky III.
That's a movie.
Burning Heart from Rocky IV.
Sequel.
What do you...
That's the sound of...
That's what it sounds like searching for candy.
Oh, guys, I had a Twix.
Yeah, they're all on a Twix.
The Twix are gone?
I can't believe you can't find a Twix with that microphone.
There's not much left.
Anyways.
Have you been to the cinema lately, Jimmy?
I just came from Whiplash seconds ago.
I saw Whiplash right before I came here
and then I saw Fox Catcher before that. On the big screen.
On the big screen. That's why you should see that movie.
Yeah, it's a great movie, right?
It's going to buy with Fox Catchatcher for top one and two for me.
They are the only two movies I've seen this year.
But they are right now buying.
You saw two good ones.
Two winners.
Yeah.
Saw Into the Woods as well last weekend.
But that doesn't rank.
You heard the two I talked about.
Yeah.
And I love musicals.
I love them.
You know that.
Yeah, but this guy that directed it,
didn't he throw you out of a musical?
No, I thought Bill...
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Yeah, this was Rob Marshall.
Yeah, this is Bobby Marshall.
Okay.
So you might still get a chance
to get thrown out of one of his movies,
so there's no reason to talk shit.
There's a chance I'm in this.
I don't know.
Rob Marshall goes the other way.
Puts me in things I'm not expecting to be in.
Show up all of a sudden hanging out with Bo Peep.
What do you got to plug?
What?
What are you plugging?
What's coming up for you?
Hey, you know what?
You can still buy Podcastathon.
All 13 hours available for download.
Oh, there you go.
We'll still do that.
That's available.
We raised a lot
of money this
year.
We raised
as of the
Monday after
we were at
$156,000.
Thank you
everybody that
donated.
Thank you to
the comics that
donated their
time.
Thanks for
everybody.
I was able to
buy this jacket
and I got a
couple other things. I had able to buy this jacket and I got a couple of other things.
I had a dude
that won the auction
for getting
Dining with Doug and Karen
came on the show
and we got a couple more
coming up
on my other podcast.
Yeah, you were very kind
to donate appearances
Happy to.
Happy to.
And I contribute
to Smile Train
every year regardless.
I send them a little money
because it's a good
organization you found there, Jimmy. Thank you. I'd send them a little money because it's a good organization you found
there, Jimmy. Thank you.
And you saw it in a magazine.
Did a lot of research.
Good choice.
Felt lucky they were decent.
What was the magazine?
Kids with
fucked up faces.
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, that, hey!
Hey, that's a good magazine.
That give Jimmy boners?
That's right.
The fucking hustler doesn't do it anymore, baby.
I gotta save the kids
with the mucked up mugs.
Did you just do no?
Alright, that's offensive.
Again, smile, try to apologize. That was Scott Aukman from Comedy Bang Bang. That's offensive. Again, Smile Train, I apologize.
That was Scott Aukman from Comedy Bang Bang.
That's on IFC.
I gave you a lot of money this year.
Shut up.
You're talking to me?
No, that's to Smile Train.
Okay, good, very good.
I don't know why I'm the bad guy.
Shut up, Smile Train.
Close that mouth.
He raised $156,000
He's allowed to say this
Alright
Are you ready to play, Jimmy?
Sure, this is a great spot to be in
I'm here for another
12 people now
Yeah, you're doing great
I'm really proud of you
The category is Do you want to do some snowman? people now. Yeah, you're doing great. I'm really proud of you.
The category is Do You Wanna Do Some Snowman?
And
that's films that have cocaine
in them.
This one, Jimmy,
is from 1977.
Leonard Maltin
gave it four stars.
Yeah. He says
that this movie is
hmm
He lists a bunch of people that have small
parts in the movie.
Give us some of those examples.
He says
if you look sharp, you'll spot
future stars and then list
four different people
that are indeed future
stars.
I'll give you one of them
Which one do you want?
The second one
The second one is Shelley Hack
In this movie?
Yeah
And probably the least famous of the four
He may not know what the word star means
And then
And then it lists
Ten names
Ten names
How many names can you get?
From 77
Just to reiterate Shelley Hack was in this film? She was in this film Ten names. How many names can you get? From 77?
Just to reiterate, Shelly Heck was in this film?
She was in this film.
The Shelly Heck.
And not one of the ten that's listed?
No, she's not listed.
I've said too much.
He says nine names.
Let's meet Ricky Lindholm everybody Hi Doug
Hey
So Oates couldn't be here tonight
So she had some
Spectacular
Big opening or something to go to
Big party or something
Elf the cartoon movie is on tonight
Wait what?
She told me she was going to something important
It's a premiere for it
Alright
She's like I have to go
I think she did
She did
I believe her
Why would she lie about that
She's the main girl
She's in it
She's got to go
Yeah She's in it. She's got to go. She's the Chanel part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And what did you bring for the prize make?
Okay, I brought a $25 Applebee's gift certificate.
And a bottle of Another Period cocaine wine.
Which was our wrap gift on the show Another Period, which just wrapped.
If you could put those on the prize pile or pass them down to the prize pile.
Greg, if you could...
Greg's going to put that wine in his breast pocket.
Fits in perfectly.
You're in the bag now, podcast listeners.
Ricky, what do you got to plug?
Well, I have a show called Another Period.
It's going to be on Comedy Central this summer.
It's a reality show set in 1802, so look out for that.
Rick, are you guys still shooting?
We're not still shooting.
We're editing.
Did you rap?
We rapped.
And that's why we got the cocaine wine, which is a real thing.
Or was a real thing.
It's not anymore.
Okay.
I'm glad they put a stop to it.
Yeah.
You have to drink it in order to want to use the Applebee's car.
We'll get to you, sir.
What else do I have to ask you?
Who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Brian
he gave me this thing
it's a lightsaber or something
it's like a
it's some sort of
it's like a red lightsaber
yeah but it's not a lightsaber is it
oh it is
it is a lightsaber
it's like a janky looking lightsaber
it is
I'm pretty sure if it was a real lightsaber
you couldn't be holding it by the blade
because your hands would be cut off
so let's hold the lightsaber by the handle like people would hold a fucking lightsaber, you couldn't be holding it by the blade because your hands would be cut off.
Let's hold the lightsaber by the handle like people would hold a fucking lightsaber.
I mean, we all saw the trailer
and there's a new lightsaber and it comes off both sides
and I don't even understand that, but seriously,
Ricky, hold it by the handle.
God, Jon Hamm is
he burst into tears.
Worst life day
ever.
I'm very sorry about that.
I apologize to all the Star Wars fans.
You will think about it.
Have you been to the movies lately, Ricky?
Yeah, I just saw Whiplash.
It was awesome.
It was my favorite movie this year.
I liked Whiplash a lot, too, as well.
What do you got, Ricky, for your bid here?
Eight names.
Jimmy took nine out of the ten.
I'll do eight.
All right, she does eight.
Rich Summers here, everybody!
Hi, Doug.
I love the summer and the wintertime.
Oh, right.
And that's what you bring sunshine into my life and into these games,
because you are easily the most excited person to be on this stage right now. And that's what you bring sunshine into my life and into these games.
Because you are easily the most excited person to be on this stage right now.
This is the thing, as you know, I love to play a game.
It's just the knowledge of my impending loss is tough to stomach. Why does everyone say awk?
That happens every time.
You really are.
Sad piece of shit.
Sad.
Sad. I got a sad, sad,
sad,
I gotta get on
the smile train.
Yes.
Who are you playing for,
Rich?
I'm playing for,
I presume,
Jack,
who's made this
Jack Frost Nixon
sign,
which is also on
It's funny,
he,
yeah,
he taped it
to a lightsaber.
Very special.
Yeah.
You can't really
tape anything to a lightsaber,
can you? Oh, Jesus Christ.
The actual thing that you tape it to.
Not to mention the tape.
There is nothing that can touch the beam.
It is a plasma.
It is a physical sharp...
Seven years I had to put up with this shit, Doug.
Hey, John, does the final episode of Mad Men end on the day Star Wars opens?
Don Draper's just standing in line
and he has a heart attack and he never gets to see it.
Just say yes.
I need a scoop.
Rich is brought for the prize bag what exactly?
Well, I brought... I phrased it as Yoda might.
Season six of the Mad Men show.
And then I also have here a board game, as I often bring.
It's Articulate, the fast-talking description game.
Have you played it?
Nope.
This was given to me by someone in Australia who got it free in England.
So there you go.
I flew it back.
They flew it from England to Australia.
I flew it back from Australia.
I'm paying it forward.
Have you been to the movies lately, Rich?
I have. I saw Inherent Vice.
Kind of a mixed reaction on that one.
Yeah, I'm of the mixed reaction
I like Joaquin Phoenix a great deal
He's a very good actor
He does some very funny takes and moments
in the film
But I didn't understand what was happening
It's aggressively confusing
It makes not a lick of sense
Anything to plug? Mad Men's coming back Yep, that's it It makes not a lick of sense. And, um...
Anything to plug?
Mad Men's coming back?
Yep.
That's it.
Okay.
We'll hear about that again
in a little bit
when we get to Mike Lawrence.
That's all he ever plugs.
I feel like you've done parts
on other shows, though.
I mean, coming up.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true.
Yep.
Okay.
So look for him
in other things. You should be his manager. That was fucking awesome.
I think what
Scott was
Scott
I think what Scott was hoping to say
was that
Rich was on the league
That's what it was
About a month ago
That wasn't it?
Alright Rich
Ricky says
What'd she say?
She said eight
Eight names
Out of ten Someone does She said eight. Eight names.
Out of ten.
Someone does cocaine.
19.
Eight names.
77. You know what?
We've all had a good time.
Oh, really?
I'm going to ask Ricky to name it.
What's the matter?
Interesting.
Really?
Yeah, I'd just try to move that one along if I were you, but, you know, you made your choice.
Say seven.
If I say seven, then what if someone says name it?
What if I, what if I?
I think this guy's still pretty miffed
that you didn't immediately mention the lead.
If I roll these dice,
what if I land on go directly to jail?
All right.
Well, then, Scott, you would have to go directly to jail
as per the rules of the game.
Right.
If it'll shut him up, seven.
All right. If it'll shut ham up, seven Alright
You can take it back
When I suggested it
Yeah, it was my idea
And it is Christmas, that's the good point
It's totally a Christmas miracle
It's the first night of Hanukkah, Jesus
It's the first night of Hanukkah Jesus It's the first night of Hanukkah
Jesus
You gotta tell Jesus
Somebody invite Jesus
To Hanukkah
First time ever guest
Mike Lawrence is here you guys
First time ever guest, Mike Lawrence is here, you guys.
Thank you for being here.
Thanks, I'm excited because I look like a loop Leonard Maltin has to close.
That's some solid visual comedy.
And you have a smurf on your knee.
Yeah, I could... At first I just thought it was just a guy
dying of autoerotic asphyxiation.
But then it's, uh,
you can call me Big Papa Breezy Puffs.
Yeah, Breezy Puffs brings a different item from her home
with her name written on it every week,
and she always gets picked. Yeah, so good job on that. different item from her home with her name written on it every week, and she always gets picked.
Yeah, so good job on that.
Can't wait until she brings her bed.
Well, I'm going to call you my mom and dad
because you're going to be disappointed tonight.
And what did you bring for the prize bag?
Did you bring something?
I brought two things.
I brought my album album Sadomantium
when it took five seconds
for everyone to clap I realized why no one bought it
and then
Suicide Squad issue 20
see it before
it's ruined on film
was that drawn by John Byrne it Was that drawn by John Byrne?
It is not drawn by John Byrne
Who's it drawn by?
I believe it is drawn by
Luke McDonald
That's incorrect
I'm going to have to ask you to leave the stage
What's living in your guys' parents' basement like?
How is it watching sports?
And memorizing
every sports fact?
It's like an avalanche of
puss.
I just love that somehow
Proops is the sports guy
on this panel.
It's an avalanche
of puns.
It's like a guy who randomly yells
science in a music video.
Mike, have you been to the movies?
Yeah, I saw Top 5 today, which is
Yeah, thank you
As a successful black comic
I really
Related to it
It was good
I want to work
So it was okay
I liked it, but
I realized I don't
like Rosario Dawson
because I feel
like she's just created
by focus groups.
She's like all the Burger King
Kids Club members rolled into one person.
Then I want to fuck the
Burger King kids.
There's a kid in a wheelchair
named Wheels.
To be fair, Nick, you've felt that way
a long time.
It's a thinker.
And what do you got to plug, Mike?
I will be
at Warehouse Live on January 25th.
That's in Houston, Texas?
Yes, and at midnight this week.
Yeah.
And Ricky there to your left said seven names.
Or Rich said seven names.
We call him Ricky.
Ricky Summer.
That's fair.
The nine lives of Ricky Summer.
I should warn you, I feel pretty confident.
What do you want to do with that, Mike Lawrence?
I don't know.
I'm going to ask him to name it.
It seems fair.
I didn't know who Shelly Hack was.
It just sounds like something a heckler's yelled at me
when I'm bombing.
I'm going to ask you to name it.
I think they meant smelly.
You win this round!
I want to make sure that I get this on mic.
That was really funny, Scott.
Thanks, Nick.
Next year, we're going to have two mics in the crowd.
I mean, in the actual audience.
So they can chime in as well.
This is Baseball Jordan reporting from the front row.
Sorry, Doug, before we press on,
somebody might be going home.
Can we have the guy whose face looks like a thumb
give Zaria Dawson more shit?
A smudge thumb, though.
Your face looks like a thumb.
I bet you could get into classified
buildings with it.
Your seven names
are
Excellent. Rich Summer's seven names are John Glomers, seven names are
John Glover,
Janet Margolin,
Christopher Walken,
Colleen Dewhurst,
Carol Kane,
Shelley Duvall,
Jesus Christ.
And
your seven out of ten names, Paul Simon. And the 7 out of 10 names,
Paul Simon.
And the year, of course,
is 1977.
Cocaine is in this movie.
Right.
Well, it should be.
What's it called, Rich?
Yep.
With Carol Kane, of course.
Mm-hmm.
Of course.
I recall you saying
Shelly Winters as well.
Indeed.
Who?
Shelly Winter.
No, I said Smelly Duvall.
Oh, Smelly Duvall.
Smelly Duvall.
Oh, Shelly Duvall.
I'm not alone anymore.
Yep.
I believe, Doug,
this is the classic Raiders of the Lost Ark.
There's a lot of cocaine in that.
Wait, you didn't do that for Graham.
God damn it.
Yeah, the cannon blast should come more after I say goodbye to him.
Also, how did you even know that was wrong?
Wait a minute.
That could have been the right answer.
Because it's so wrong. That could have been the right answer. Because it's so wrong.
The rest of the
names are, of course, Tony Roberts,
Diane Keaton, and Woody Allen in the motion pictures
called Annie Hall.
Annie Hall.
Woody sneezes and the cocaine
goes everywhere. Rich
Sommer. Thank you
for playing, Rich.
Rich, Rich Selmer Thank you for playing Rich Rich Rich did you have a dinner
That you had to get to
I didn't
I don't know those movies very well
The Woody Allen's
I don't know those movies
Very well
I
The Woody Allen ones.
There he goes.
That's where the canon needs to go.
Can someone please give Rich a little props
for taking the bullet so that
lovely Ricky
can stay?
That was pretty awesome.
But Ricky would have gotten two more games.
Because we knew
Thumbface was going
to fuck him.
I mean, come on.
As bullets go, though,
getting seven names
from Annie Hall
is pretty remarkable
to not know it
after those seven names.
I don't know the world!
You know, Doug,
that was Christopher Walken's
first film.
Sure, of course.
And he was miscredited in the end credits.
They spell his name W-L-A-K-E-N.
Blacken.
Blacken.
Check it out.
Check it out, you guys.
Also, Rich.
You didn't have so much fun looking at that?
It's true.
It says Blacken.
I can name that in seven names and one misspelling.
Rich said something off stage.
Before he said something, right?
After he was backstage, he said something.
Prol show's coming to an end, huh?
All right.
Let's finally...
And congratulations to Mike and Ricky for surviving that.
Let's say hello to Greg Proops.
Happy holidays, everybody.
Who are you playing for, Greg?
Amazing Jamie.
She's done a very lovely rendering here
of Almost Gone
or something, and there's a girl
in a field and whatnot.
Gone Girl?
I don't see that well.
It's a small
child in front of a ditch, and
it says Amazing
Gone Girl October.
Okay.
Some people are upset behind me because I got it wrong,
but you know what?
Haters are going to hate,
and even during the holidays, you have to stand tall.
Yeah, just take it off, Greg.
I don't think they hate you.
You got it wrong.
James, I adore your show.
Thank you.
All right, Greg.
What did you bring for the prize bag?
Oh, I've got a bunch of swag.
Candy, because it's Christmas time.
Yay, candy.
M&M's, the green ones that have the little thing.
The Onions covers that transformed an undeserving world.
And the onions dog cell calendars calendar.
And then the guy gave me this in Chicago.
I leave it to you what it is, ladies and gentlemen.
A lot of guys in the back row are looking at it like they've seen it before.
Cookie Monster's been dieting.
I believe in the movie Aliens they describe it as
Arcturian pussy, but I'm not certain what it is.
It's a Muppet glory hole.
I knew someone would have something.
It's what Kevin Pollak thinks I look like.
It's a tribble that's been...
It's for anyone who likes fisting
but hates the resistance.
Just goes right in.
Wow.
Points!
Ding!
Greg, have you been to the cinema?
No, but I was on an aircraft coming back from Chicago a couple of days ago,
and I watched It's a Wonderful Life on USA Network with ample commercials.
And I cried.
And I hadn't seen it in a while.
And I forgot, Mr. Potter is trying to turn that town into something.
And this small-time, chiseler, two-bit Occupy asshole
is all up on his dick.
And I just thought, like, you know,
really there's not enough characters that depict Dick Cheney
in his Cheney-tude.
Mr. Potter really doesn't. No one's seen the movie
in this room. I wish I'd said
something idiotic from the last couple of years.
But evidently It's a Wonderful
Life has gone by the wayside as a movie.
That's why I was watching it on cable on a plane.
Is Mr. Potter
Monica Potter's father?
Yes. He was in Annie Hall briefly
during the Shelley
Hooper years.
Mr. Potter's the evil guy who's trying to buy the...
Yeah, you know who it was.
Thank you for trying to save it, though. I appreciate that.
What do you got to plug, Greg?
I'm the smartest man in the world
podcast, and then
the Nerd Melt this Thursday you can also
download us online iTunes and what not
and then on the 28th we're going to show
my man Godfrey at the Cinefamily
which is awesome
great group Spill the Club
are you ready to play
you betcha Doug
alright the category is
the Blueberry Johnson category,
which is
You're In This.
This is movies that people on the panel
are in.
Am I in this?
The category is called You're In This, Greg.
Is it Dreamgirls?
I feel like it's Dreamgirls.
Since you're on the panel.
No, James Pardo was cut from that film.
Oh, I haven't seen it.
So he's not in that.
It would be movies you're not in.
Which would be way too big of a category.
We're all not in a lot of movies.
Hang on, was that a shot at me unnecessarily?
No, no.
We're all not in a lot of movies.
If it's the movies that someone's not in...
I'm not in as many movies as you're not in.
Hold on, we're not all not in a lot of movies.
The day after tomorrow.
Fair enough.
All right, so somebody on the panel's in this movie.
Oh, I saw Whiplash.
I'm kidding, I saw Whiplash.
I'm kidding. I didn't see it.
I don't give a shit, but it sounds good.
It's really good.
Wow, that was some dynamic attention there.
I'm going to start doing that.
You get to pick the year, though,
of the movie that you or someone on the panel is in.
1993, 1999,
or 2002?
2002. So, 1999, or 2002? 2002.
Okay.
So, first of all, I'd like to congratulate you
on not picking the movie that you're actually in.
Shit, I should have picked that one.
I know that one.
Three stars from Leonard Maltin
for this movie from 2002.
He says...
He says this movie's sweet and
non-cynical
and it's played with conviction and charm.
Yeah.
And he lists
5, 6, 7, 10, 14 names.
14 names.
10, please. For this movie that someone
on the panel is in.
Greg says 10 names.
Now let's say hi to
John Hamm.
Hi, Doug. Hi, Hamm.
Hi.
Have you been to the movies lately?
I saw Into the Woods, and I
liked it. Okay.
So there. Alright.
Rich.
Or no.
Who hated it?
Are you just describing yourself?
Listen, I saw it in the woods.
Rich.
Handsome.
No.
I was making a joke about what I thought Rich said,
but it was in fact Jimmy Pardo who hated Into the Woods
and will never work for Rob Marshall again.
He will never work for him that first time.
Jimmy, were you Beyonce in Dreamgirls?
He was Beyonce-ed out of Dreamgirls.
Why is this a running joke?
John is playing for who tonight?
I'm playing for someone called
James Stewart, Donna Reed, and Frank Capra.
It's a wonderful...
I guess they all made a movie called
It's a Wonderful Lauren.
But I guess all those dead people will get to win.
That's who you're playing for is Lauren.
Oh, Lauren.
Yeah, there you go.
I missed that.
There's a lot of names on this.
And you brought a ton of stuff for the prize bag,
or you just happened to have some shopping with you?
I brought a St. Louis grab bag,
because it is Christmas.
Whoa.
Baseball Jordan does not care for...
Who the fuck is that?
St. Louis.
Don't get it right, Jordan.
A white Christmas.
Wow.
Last time I thought
maybe Christmas was time for forgiveness.
But I don't forgive you
for that.
Anyways, there's some flip flops.
The shoes of Jesus.
There's a Rams jersey.
The shirt of Jesus.
There's a Cardinals jersey, which is. The shirt of Jesus. There's a Cardinals jersey,
which is actually the shirt of Jesus.
Oh, okay.
And there's some blues socks.
Blues socks?
Some of those blues socks.
Come on, y'all.
Sports Scott.
Sports Scott.
Don't worry about it.
Me and Proops got this shit locked down.
You're like the dad who shops in the airport.
And a bobblehead.
Oh, whose bobblehead is that?
It's mine! It's a John Hill bobblehead!
All of that can be yours.
If you need to relocate to St. Louis,
you're going to be set.
Welcome, open arms, and then
shot.
I'm from there.
It's okay, you guys.
Have I asked you everything I need to ask you?
Plugs, Mad Men's coming back.
Also, Black Mirror Christmas special.
Everyone should watch this show because it's awesome.
It's either on DirecTV or Netflix,
but the previous couple series were amazing.
And the new one will be released in the States on Christmas Day
on both Netflix and DirecTV's audience channel, Channel 500,
on DirecTV
if you have it
and if you don't
why not
you guys
come on
start a cable
seriously
come on
yeah why not
what was the last bid
Greg
10
9
he took all
10 out of 14
was it
and
now we're going to
Scott Aukerman
is here
hello America Now we're going to Scott Aukerman is here. Hello, America.
And other countries.
Hi.
What'd you bring for the bag, Scott?
I have one of the Earwolf Christmas tees,
the Christmas sweater-looking tees.
Those are fun.
Those are new in stores.
And I have,
I didn't get one,
but there's some new
comedy bing bong shirts.
And John just rubbed it
all over his crotch.
So I didn't know.
He wiped his ass
with that thing.
It increases the value
tenfold.
And who are you playing for?
I think I saw this
name tag on Twitter today.
Okay. I'm playing for? I think I saw this name tag on Twitter today. Okay.
I'm playing for Stephanie, actually.
I don't know anything about it, but it's a parody of love, actually.
A non-rhyming parody, which is bold.
Stephanie instead of love.
Yeah.
That's what everybody should be feeling this time of year.
Yeah.
Instead of love.
It's the season of Stephanie.
Yep.
All right.
Okay.
And, uh, have you been to the movies?
Uh, I haven't.
I heard Johnny Carson, um, went to see that new Reese Witherspoon movie.
He said, that is wild.
So, that was his review, which I thought was very weird
because he's been dead
for yeah decades
yeah yeah
but I don't know
who's gonna argue with him
nobody
it's not an argument
worth having
no it's not
you're gonna lose
that movie Wild
is wild
it is
this audience
has been alive
since show years
feeling pretty good
about it it's a wonderful life
right now.
And
Y'all mom. Plugs.
That's my new character.
If this comes out before
Friday, the Comedy Bang Bang
season 3 finale
on Friday night, 11pm.
Lots of big names in that one.
The Lonely Island is our guest.
We also have the kids in the hall,
Bruce McCullough and Alan Tudyk from Firefly.
Oh, good old Tudyk's.
And James Urbaniak as well.
And then we take two Fridays off,
and then we're back for season four
with Ty Burrell and Nick Kroll.
Oh!
That's January 9th.
Alright.
Are you bummed that
Reggie's going to the other show?
Nope!
Next question.
Seriously, are you
bummed that Reggie's going to...
This is more of a backstage conversation.
Just wait for you to not have the mic and then you can talk about it, no problem.
What's your bid there, Scott?
This is...
I'll do Nate Names.
All right. Nick Kroll, everybody!
Patiently waiting for a microphone.
I appreciate that.
Kroll Show is
back. January
13th.
January 13th.
Final season.
Don't start an online
thing to get a new season going.
Don't start a petition.
Right? Done.
Should people fight for a fourth season?
No, no, no. It would just be fighting me.
Okay.
I'll fight you.
But yeah, January 13th
the final season begins.
Alright, cool. Doug, I got season begins. All right, cool.
And what do you got there?
Nick, I got a quick follow-up for Nick.
Okay, please.
Scott, this Reggie situation.
What'd you bring for the bag, Nick?
I brought, fresh off, hot off the presses,
a Wheels Ontario t-shirt.
That's what I'll plug, also.
We have a bunch of t-shirts from the show that just came up.
So, you want to check them out?
Cool.
Have you had a chance to go to the movies?
I have.
I saw, um, shit, what was it called last night?
Oh, Foxcatcher.
Yeah, you like that?
It was so funny.
Kind of a feel-good romp?
Oh, my God.
So bright and so much possibility,
and it was great, though.
It was some amazing performances.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah, I really
Jon Hamm was probably my favorite part of the movie
Alright
I'm playing for Jordan
You got the baseball
Baseball Jordan
Now do you think Jordan is anti-racism
Or a Kansas City Royals fan?
Maybe both.
Yeah, probably both.
I could say both.
It's not worse.
All right, Nick.
Who do you bid for?
The Dodgers.
Oh, whatever.
Jesus.
How many did you bid, Scott?
Seven? Eight? Seven?
You have to remember.
Can you just refresh me what the...
It was 2002.
Someone on here was in the movie.
Mm-hmm.
Three stars.
Annie Hall.
Three stars from Leonard.
And what did you do?
Eight?
I'll do seven.
Conviction and charm.
Yeah, and then we go to...
We've got...
What's happening here?
What's pointing?
Seven.
Seven.
All right.
Nick bid seven. Kevin Poll All right, NickBit7.
Kevin Pollak is here, you guys!
First, I want to say to Jordan,
a little more time for Jordan, I think,
the Dodger fan.
It's got to be a great feeling
to know not only that
your team completely shit the bed during the playoffs
but that their
lifelong rival the Giants won a third World Series
in five years
that was quite an encouragement
why don't you and Greg
groups go out and talk about your sports
you macho macho man that walked Levine Why don't you and Greg Proops go out and talk about your sports?
No, I just want to get into a little thing. You macho, macho man.
That walked Levine.
He's out.
Do you have questions?
Yes, sir.
Who are you playing for?
I am playing, well, it says Peter Venkman, but that can't possibly be right.
That's probably a guy named Peter.
Yeah, sure.
Because he went ahead and made the same sort of apparatus. Oh, he's got the whole... Peter. Yeah, sure. Because he went ahead and made some sort of apparatus.
Oh, he's got the whole...
Look at that bad motherfucker.
It's like a little one.
It's like one for mini-me or something.
It's like a backpack, a proton pack.
It's technically an unlicensed nuclear accelerator.
There we go.
It's an unlicensed nuclear accelerator.
That's exactly right.
And so I'm playing for someone named Peter
would be the popular guess.
Yeah, all right.
And have you been to the movies lately?
Only because I would have rather played
for someone named Egon.
But Peter was close as I got.
So now I want to say something, if I may,
about this category before I lose and go home.
Okay.
This is, someone on this dais is in one of these movies?
That's the idea, yes.
As the oldest playing member,
I personally added over 70 films to the possibility of the answer.
Six of them good, by the way.
That's a fun side game.
Usual Suspects.
John Hammond.
Casino.
But I feel like...
Willow?
Willow?
I feel like I'm going to lose.
Willow.
The reason I mentioned this is not...
For a few good men.
A few good men.
Hold Night Yards.
Hold Night Yards.
Hold Night Yards.
Grumpy Old Men.
Did that get in there?
I love the Grumpy Old Men movie.
It's not important.
It's not important.
It's good.
Legit good.
Legit good.
That thing you do.
That thing you do.
Come on.
That thing you do.
That thing you do. Boss Vic Tostelvin on. That thing you do. That thing you do.
Boss Vic Tussleman.
Yeah, we're over six.
We've got to cut some.
We're over six.
Shit.
All right.
That whole joke stinks.
I just wish they'd
gather around to a grumpiest old man.
I'm bringing attention to it
because I think it's me
and I think it's a movie I was in
and it's weird because
most actors don't like
to see themselves
in a film they're in.
Every movie I've ever played plays on a continuous loop on seven different screens in my house.
So you would think I would know this.
I think you have a good shot at it.
I feel like, so you said seven?
Yeah.
Oh.
You could just say six.
There's a few other things I think to cover.
Plugs and did I see a movie before I go home?
Yeah.
Or do we need that?
I tried to ask you about seeing a movie.
Have you seen any other of your movies recently?
I saw all the movies I've been in recently.
Yeah, on the way here.
What did you think?
The Immigrant.
Did anyone not see The Immigrant?
I don't know why people aren't talking about it.
I saw this on the...
It was good?
Yeah.
Marianne Katya.
Is it even close to how you say her name
sure
and the Jeremy Renner
and the Joaquin Phoenix
oh man it was a great
oh okay
nobody's talking about it
and there you go
it got you know
whiplash
it's not a big release yet
I'll join the
Frey saw Yergo's
opening night of Sundance
and it was fucking amazing
and I'm thrilled for JK
for his nomination
wait are you serious
or are you JK
and what do you got to plug and I'm thrilled for JK for his nomination. Wait, are you serious? Are you JK?
And what do you got to plug?
And the plugs is, yeah, please.
There's no way you're going to make me name it, right?
After all this?
Yeah.
It's a possibility.
Okay.
But I did give you lots of hints that I think, I'm pretty sure it's me.
He's disgusting with Jon Hamm,
what it might be, I believe.
One player to a hand.
And
plugs, I directed
a motion picture myself
that will debut at the Sundance Film Festival, I just found out.
Yes.
Please take your seats.
Very kind of you, always.
A couple of the folks on the dais.
What's it called?
It's a documentary
featuring almost 70
famous funny fuckers
with the thesis,
do you have to be miserable to be funny?
Which is why Nick Kroll refused to be in it.
It's just too close for some people.
It's too happy.
Yeah.
Misery loves comedy, it's called.
It's the Sundance Film Festival.
I wish you would ask me that after doing this podcast.
Damn it!
How many names, Kevin?
I'm pretty sure I know...
I think I know what it is.
So...
I don't think Nick knows, but I also don't think
Nick just dropped the ball.
Literally.
He figuratively, physically, and literally
dropped the ball. But I think
I think
of the two, if I
I'm trying to remember how to play this fucking
game is my problem. I think if I don't challenge Nick
but I let it go to the next fellow, if he challenges
me, then I'm stuck knowing it, in which case I feel pretty good. So if if I don't challenge Nick but I let it go to the next fellow, if he challenges me, then I'm
stuck knowing it, in which case I feel pretty good.
So if I'm going to let Nick stay,
he's funnier, I should go, and here we go.
I'll name it in five.
He says five names.
Tricky spot
for Sean Sacamai
is here. Last year's
winner.
Motherfucking Pocahontas.
Friend of the show for...
My gift is also an autographed copy of a book
I wrote called How I Slept My Way to the Middle.
There you go.
I just want to say, by the way,
your win last year was possibly
the best moment I've ever seen
in this theater, ever. That was explosive. That was possibly the best moment I've ever seen in this theater, ever.
That was explosive.
That was probably the best moment I'll never remember, aside from podcasting.
Sean is such a nice guy that I've known him for a few years,
and he's just let me mispronounce his last name for a few years now.
It's Sacamai?
Yes.
Yeah.
You've been as close as you could possibly get without getting it correct.
Good enough.
That's not good enough.
Just say my name's Sac-a-my, and I go, okay, and I might say it right the next time.
You've got it right this time.
You've got to at least try.
Sac-a-my.
All right.
Not the worst rhyme that's ever come up with that last name, by the way.
So you won last year, and so you're back to defend your title, and you're in a tough spot
because Kevin insists he knows it, sort of, maybe.
And who are you playing for, Sean?
I'm playing for Emmanuel Ortiz versus the 12 Guests of Christmas.
He did a Scott Pilgrim mock-up with the dolls, and since I love that movie, and he took a
lot of time to put himself on that poster,
he deserved it.
Yeah, it's a good one.
And what'd you bring for the bag?
$25 iTunes gift card.
Oh, very nice.
John Hampton, hang on to that. That'll rent you a million dollar arm five times.
Which everyone should see because it's really that good.
I liked it.
And my voice didn't even go up when I said it.
I liked it.
I liked it.
Come on.
It's for families.
It's for families.
Oh my God.
Did that come out?
Aren't you bunker?
Sean, have you
been to the movies?
I recently saw
The Babadook.
Oh.
Highly recommended.
People like that.
Very good.
Yeah, scary.
Yes, definitely.
A little bit of
the shiny little
psychological.
I believe it's
pronounced
Robert Duke.
I'm sorry.
Oh, okay.
The Robert Duke.
I believe it's
Marmaduke.
What do you got to plug, buddy?
Just hanging around,
living in Southern California.
Doing your thing. Your brother's in town visiting from Texas.
Daryl? Where is he?
Where's your brother Daryl and your other brother Daryl?
Hi, Daryl.
What are you going to do with
Kevin Pollack's threat to...
I mean, everything he said
as to why he chose what he did makes
perfect sense, so I'm going to have to ask him to name that movie.
Alright.
Thank you. It's only because you don't know what it is and you don't want him to Thank you.
It's only because you don't know what it is
and you don't want him to catch you.
I always forget how to play this game until I get knocked out.
Well, you get five names.
Yeah, I do.
Please name them.
I will. And then I feel good for you.
Oh, okay.
I feel sad for Sean.
Some of our biggest players are getting knocked out early.
Greg, of course, left on his own recognizance.
The next time somebody goes to the bathroom,
sound the cannon.
I just went shopping across the street for a minute.
Oh, okay.
The Scientology Center?
Yeah, they have the most awesome holiday stuff.
I got a pyramid and a volcano and whatnot.
They got some beautiful clear ornaments over there.
They really do.
Yeah, I got a whole new belief system.
Your five names, Kevin Pollack,
are Molly Shannon,
Michael Dorn, Jay Thomas, Kevin Pollack, and Aisha Tyler.
So this is a movie Kevin was in.
Turns out Kevin was in this.
But more importantly, Michael Dorn.
And what's the name of this movie, Kevin?
Well, it's definitely one of the Santa Claus films,
but the problem for me is that I was in two and three,
so now it's a matter of what year they each come out.
So I'm a little fucked here.
You should feel better.
I mean, my instinct is the Santa Claus 2,
which I'm not saying yet,
but I literally have a 50-50, and I don't truly know which one.
Well, when you do give us your final answer, please say it. I just want to say that both are just fantastic.
Say it.
And I believe it's the Santa Claus 2 escape clause.
Thank you very much.
Is he allowed to say that?
I don't know what he's allowed to say.
Oh, okay.
But, uh, well, yeah.
Were you in Jingle All The Way as well?
Because that was good.
There's a boom in there.
I was an extra in the trailer of Jingle All The Way.
Yes.
Why just the trailer?
They couldn't afford me yeah
Sinbad
the next best thing
to Jon Hamm
you may be wondering
you know what
some of them
are suggesting
what is a
what is a fella doing
in Santa Claus do
sometimes you gotta
make the donuts
quite frankly and what are you going with Kevin yeah yeah I really should too. Sometimes you gotta make the donuts.
Quite frankly.
What are you going with,
Kevin? Yeah, yeah, I really should get the fuck out of here, or not.
I gotta go with my first thought,
which is two. The Santa
Claus 2.
That's correct.
Oh, good.
I upseated the champion
in the film I was in
and really should have known right away.
Some would say it was cheating.
But the other two years
that Greg could have picked
were Nightmare Before Christmas
and Star Wars,
which you were in those.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you, Sean.
Save that later for the shithead.
What are you talking about?
Scott, use your microphone voice. This is an off-mic conversation.
No, I'm just... The Santa Claus 2 came out in 2002,
nine years after the first Santa Claus.
That was the thing that threw me.
That's insanity.
When did you fire Reggie Watts?
Do you think people are going to want to watch the show
as much without Reggie?
It feels like they're not going to, right?
There was a Santa Claus in his contract that said he could leave.
Well, just, you know, Tim Allen is available.
Scott, I'm also a musician.
Just putting that out there.
a musician.
Just putting that out there.
Alright, so we will change order when we get down to five players. Help me to remember that, Sam.
And then the final two, of course,
are going to play a round of asparagus pea
to determine the winner.
And now we've officially
met everyone, and we're back to the
top of the batting order. Mike Furman.
Jimmy, how's Twitter?
I just got news.
Reggie left some show.
Oh, my God.
What year?
I don't even recognize the name of the show.
You're on the season premiere.
Without Reggie?
You're on the league?
I thought that was a surprise that I was on.
It is.
I'm on the premier season.
Alright, here we go, Mike Furman.
Your category, celebrating a birthday tomorrow,
the great Eugene Levy.
Oh, hey.
Celebrating a birthday tomorrow,
the great Eugene Levy.
Oh, hey.
It's not John Hamm saying late great,
but he's still with us.
The death of American people.
John gets his show business news early.
He must be dead.
What did John kill him on the way here?
It's 20 after 9, he died.
Three.
But the Levy has died.
Three stars from Leonard.
Three stars, Mike,
for this movie that has a great
Eugene Levy in it
who is still with us.
2001 is the year
Leonard says about this movie
that Buck Henry
appears in it unbilled.
Yes, you won't be hearing his name later.
He also says about this movie that it is endearing and it has appealing stars.
And he lists eight names.
All right.
How many names can you get it in?
Can I say nine?
No. All right. You can say eight in? Can I say nine? No.
You can say eight. Sam Levine!
What are you going to do
with that?
I'll keep the line moving. I'll say seven.
Strong bid.
We go to Jimmy Pardo. Doug, I was
busy making my, what can only be described
as an average joke about a hat and a bill.
I did not hear
a lot of the description of this movie.
I know Gene Levy's in it.
What else you got?
Gene.
I go, Gene Levy.
The late, great Gene Levy.
Passed away six minutes ago today.
We lost him.
I hear he's a new band leader.
We lost him at 920.
I apologize. Three a new band leader. What now? We lost him at 920. So give me a little, I apologize.
Three stars.
Three stars.
2001.
Eugene Levy's in it.
He also says about the movie that Buck Henry appears in it unbilled.
And also that it's got, it's endearing and has appealing stars.
And the boys have been eight, seven, six.
Now we go to Ricky.
Five.
Fair enough.
Mike?
I'm going to do it in four.
He says four, great proofs.
This is about excitement right now.
Three.
Name it.
Oh, shit.
Jon Hamm with the quick name it over the shoulder.
God damn you, Jon Hamm to hell.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, he's really going to sweat him on this one.
I'm putting the mic near his butt in case he farts.
Three names.
Lucy Gordon.
Bridget Moynihan.
I really picked the wrong name.
And John Corbett.
Are all in this movie
with Eugene Levy around 2001.
I remember it because the characters
were beguiling and compelling.
What were they?
Endearing, enchanting,
appealing.
Santa Claus 3.
This time it's Jewish.
I am sorry to say that the movie
the next billed person
is Eugene Levy
then Molly Shannon
Jeremy Pivs
Kate Beckinsale
and John Cusack
it's called Serendipity
Serendipity
Greg Proops is leaving us
thank you Greg.
Happy holidays.
Wow, that was exciting.
I feel better.
You feel better?
Yeah.
After getting rid of him?
Yep.
Alright.
Scott Aukerman.
Yo baby.
Your category, suggested by Rob Gregerson
On Twitter is
Rob Greg
He suggested Silent Night
And that's M. Night Shyamalan movies
Where he does not appear
He directed it But does not appear in the film.
The year is
1998.
Three stars from Leonard.
He says about this movie that it was shot in 1985.
What?
Yeah.
Came out in 88, shot in 85. Interesting? Yeah. Came out in 88,
shot in 85.
Interesting clue
because it's no help.
I thought you said 98.
What year did it come out?
What did I say?
You said 98.
Then it went to the 80s.
85.
Yeah, it was shot in 98
and released in 85.
What's wrong with you people?
I love that even your
M. Night Shyamalan description
has a twist in it
for no reason
yeah it was shot in 95
good catch
and released in 98
and he also says about this movie
that
sensitive
warm and quirky
sounds like my butthole not true sensitive, warm, and quirky.
Sounds like my butthole.
Not true.
Lies!
And he lists,
Leonard lists nine names.
How many names, Scott Aukerman?
I'll say nine.
Good bet. Nick Kroll? I'll say nine. Good bid.
Nick Kroll?
I'm going to say name it.
You on out, baby, huh?
Yeah.
I'm so hungry.
What are you going to get?
I want chicken wings.
Yeah, boy. What flavor, Nick? This is a regular. I love that that's a ploy you going to get? I want chicken wings. Yeah, boy.
What flavor, Nick?
This is a regular.
I love that that's a ploy for you to get out of here,
because I think there's a pretty good chance he's not going to be able to name it.
And it'll probably take a while.
Maybe I'm dead.
It'll take a while.
We lost both you and Eugene Levy today.
Your nine names are Julia Stiles, Dan Loria, Cameron Manheim,
Rosie O'Donnell, Robert Loggia, Dennis Leary, Dana Delaney,
Timothy Rafe Snyder and Joseph Cross.
And Scott Aukerman,
the movie is called...
I can see the poster.
You can see...
That's not where the title is.
That's where the tagline is.
It's the kids movie.
What is it?
What would Chewbacca say?
Scott is accessing
the old boat in his head.
R2 Let the Wookie win kid
I'm Mark Hamill.
Okay.
Scott.
It's like the Indian. Did you think of it?
It's the Indian in the cupboard or some shit.
I can't remember what it is.
That's not what it's called.
It isn't called.
But thank you for being here.
The motion picture is called Wide Awake.
Wide Awake. Scott Aukerman.
Thanks, everyone.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Sorry.
Sorry, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
Oh, mostose Moches.
But make the cannon sound
right after they leave the stage.
I'm going to need that for the...
Is there a shithead on the back?
Okay, cool.
We've got a lot of shitheads at the end.
Well, Nick Kroll, nice...
Nice work there, Nick Kroll.
You managed to stick around and not get food yet.
My blood sugar is so low right now.
Did anybody else bring a food item for their name tag?
Who brought the cookies?
Somebody over here brought some cookies from Gelson.
Can Nick have some cookies?
Will cookies do you any good?
Are any of them buffalo wing flavored?
You can't beat a buffalo wing cookie this time of year.
Good God, y'all.
I was at home.
Doug texted me.
Are you coming?
And you said technically.
I had forgotten about this, and I was just getting ready to eat buffalo wings. Oh. Are you coming? And you said technically.
I had forgotten about this,
and I was just getting ready to eat buffalo wings.
Oh, man.
There you go.
Wangs.
You couldn't just throw them in the car and bring them along.
Hey, here's the good news, Doug Benson.
There's good news?
It's 9.34 here at the live clock.
We're halfway through this, cocksucker.
What goes faster now?
There's a lucky fan.
All right, what do we get?
It goes faster now.
You get the next category.
Sweet. Just for jokes on Twitter, suggested Elf on the Shelf, and that's Will Ferrell movies
that Leonard Maltin gave two stars or less.
Ooh.
Yeah.
And you get to pick a year.
And you get to pick a year Would you like a Will Ferrell movie
That Leonard gave two stars or less
From 98, 99
2005, 2006
Or 2008
Leonard is not kind to the
No he's not
To the elf on the shelf
That messes me up a little bit
Which one do you like?
What was the first number?
98, might be 96 It's 98 Which one do you like? Eight? Six? What was the first number? 98.
Might be 96.
It's 98.
I'm going to need 98.
John was going to help me out and look at it.
I'm going to go 98.
I thought pot was good for glaucoma.
One and a half stars from Leonard for this movie.
Yeah.
From 1998.
He says about this film that, oh, this movie is for Richard Grieco completists.
He also says that Chaz Palminteri has a cameo in this Will Ferrell movie.
They got two stars or less from Leonard.
And he lists 11 names.
How many names can you get it in, KP?
I'm really horrible at this game, but I kind of feel like I know it again.
How much pressure to put on my, and how quickly to move this thing along.
I'm going to say, what was it, 11 you said? To choose from?
That's the highest number?
Eight.
All right, he says eight, Mike Furman.
Seven.
Sam Levine coming in with the crushing zero names bid.
Jimmy Pardo.
I've enjoyed my time here today.
Jimmy, you're a bit of a Greco-completist yourself, aren't you?
I'm missing just the one.
This is it, John.
It's a shame. That's an irony of all
ironies right there, isn't it?
Who knew it would bite me in the ass like this?
Son of a gun.
I gave up on him.
Oh, what an error that was.
Greeks.
Oh, Dickie Greeks.
Do you know that Richard Rico
is one of the executive producers
of the show Jiggalos on Showtime?
Yes, I knew that.
I believe that question was literally just for me.
Who watches that show?
Nothing.
Alright, Jimmy. What just so I'm clear
What do you want to do with this?
It went from 8 to
What did you say, 6?
7
Wait, 7
Then right down there to 0
So I can say negative 1
98 was the year?
Yes
I don't think she will Let's go with 98 98 was the year? Yes. Ricky might say negative two.
I don't think she will.
Yes, let's go with 98.
I'm not going to get this no matter what.
Negative one.
Okay.
Negative two.
Oh!
Jimmy dodged a bullet.
I'm really hungry too.
Mike, Lawrence,
can you go more negative
or do you just hope that Ricky...
I thought I was pretty negative the whole show so far
I'm going to ask you to name it
I have no idea but was it Night at the Roxbury
Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan
that's correct
Doug
for the record I would have got it I would have got it For the record, I would have got it.
I would have got it.
For the record.
Had it.
Hasn't that movie caused enough harm and death already?
One more victim.
Mike Lawrence, everybody.
Thank you, Mike.
You know, Nick, the good thing about this is that there are way more mics now.
Yes, there are.
All of a sudden, I can really settle in.
Ricky, did you get filled up snacking on that chump?
I don't know how to answer that, so yes.
Yeah, that's the correct answer, Ricky.
Is the flavor of thumb still lingering?
I do feel pretty good about that, though.
Yeah, you should.
All right.
There's the water bottle by your feet, Doug.
Where's that at, John?
By his feet, Jimmy.
Thanks, John.
It's descriptive.
They can't see on the podcast.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Give me a picture.
John, when you say podcast, you mean like cereal?
Now, Jimmy, have you seen cereal?
I've listened to it.
It's like the first podcast I've seen.
How great is Serial?
I mean, I've been devouring it.
Like no other podcast.
I've never even heard of a podcast called Serial.
Me either.
What are they like?
They're like weekly shows that entertainers will put together.
So like an entertainer will put a thing on a thing where you can download it and listen to it right then whenever you want?
On the World Wide Web? It's World Wide, John.
Yeah, but Ser cereal's really popular.
Raised $156,000, you son of a bitch.
Because I'm the best there's ever been.
Fire in the mountain, rum bar run.
Diddle-de-de-de-de-de-de-de.
I'm the rising sun.
Diddle-de-de-de-de-de-de-de.
Jailor and matchmaker, pick it up the door.
Diddle-de-de-de-de-de-de.
Drum-drum-drum, go, go, go. Diddle-de-de-de-de-de-de-de. Diddle-de-de-de-de-de-de-de. Doug has to pay
$156,000
for the rights to that song.
No he doesn't.
Charlie Daniels is cool, you guys.
He listens to Serial.
I don't doubt it.
Hey, Doug, it's my turn.
We're starting with you, John.
You get this category.
Celebrating a birthday tomorrow,
the great Bill Pullman.
Yes!
Loved him in Twister. The films of Bill Pullman. Yes. Loved him in Twister.
The films of Bill Pullman.
Doug, I have a question.
You probably shouldn't
do that.
You probably shouldn't
name Bill Pullman movies.
Loved him in movies
that were starring
Bill Paxton.
Doug, I have a question.
This is now
the second actor
who has a birthday tomorrow.
When you were researching
this category,
did you get the date wrong?
No, I said they have birthdays
tomorrow. Exactly. Yeah.
But why not today? Because it's fun to change it up
a little bit. Pick some people who have birthdays
tomorrow. I love it. I have some smart-alecky
guests who look up
who had birthdays that day
and do a little research.
You know me, buddy. I cut that off.
I'm in this shit for the endorsement
deals. Nobody that's here tonight Nobody that's here tonight does that. Well, one person that's here tonight. No, buddy. I cut that off. Oh, man. No way. I'm in this shit for the endorsement deals.
Nobody that's here tonight.
Nobody that's here tonight does that. Well, one person that's here tonight.
No, no.
Do you really think if I did that, I'd be calling such attention to myself by asking
this fucking question?
I think you might.
I think, yeah.
I think that's what you would do, is you would point out why is Doug doing it this way?
I memorize everything from today's birthdays.
Yeah. Three stars.
1993.
This movie that's got Bill Pullman in it.
Mic smell in general.
Don't smell the microphone, John.
Leonard calls this movie sweet,
perfectly cast
why does this mic stink
that's not in Leonard's
review of this film
and he lists
whoa
he lists
six
twelve
fourteen names
fourteen names
ninety three
ninety three
it's got Pullman
three stars
ninety three Pullman
perfectly cast perfectly cast probably means Pullman. Three stars. Perfectly cast.
Probably means Pullman as well.
And it's sweet, this movie.
I feel like I can't say much else.
How many out of 14, Jon Hamm?
Pretty sweet.
Somebody's loudly talking about Casper backstage.
Casper?
I guess I should have said Casper.
I'm hoping Wyoming.
Would you say 14?
Let's cut it in half.
Let's go see them.
He says seven names, Nick Kroll.
What does your stomach say?
You know what it is.
Name it in one.
Nick can name it in one If only I knew it
I could stop him from having buffalo wings
That's what he's saying Kevin
Will you bring me a water
Water for Jimmy
There you go
There's one right there
Can you go to the bathroom for me
Or I could tank it
And that would also stop you
From going to Buffalo
Here's what's ironic Is that You actually know it If I think I know it for me? Or I could tank it and that would also stop you from going to Buffalo.
Here's what's ironic is that
if I think I know it,
I'm not trying, like I will
try to get it right.
You're not trying to tank it.
Can you go zero or negative names, Kevin?
I kind of feel like I know what it is,
but I would rather
go home and he's stuck here.
So, I think he knows it, so I'm going to say name it.
All right.
I'm going to give you one name,
and then you're going to tell me the title of the film.
Okay.
Your one name, the 14th billed performer in this movie,
is a gentleman who calls himself David Hyde Pierce.
That's going to fuck you shit up.
What's the name of the movie?
Well, obviously, it's Frasier the Movie.
Why would his brother get such shitty billing
in Frasier the Movie?
It was all about that dog, Doug.
Niles gets shoved aside right away for the doggy.
Yeah.
I mean, the only Bill Pullman movie that I can think of
that would be around that time is Sleepless in Seattle.
That's correct.
Thank you, Kevin Pollack.
Buffalo wings are so delicious.
Just go by Nick's place
and eat his wings.
All right, good night, y'all.
See, I couldn't, I couldn't,
as I said, I couldn't tank it.
No, but you wouldn't have.
You can't do it, man.
The competitive spirit.
Nick, this is what I know about you.
What's that?
You like to win.
Yeah.
And you love Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
Tim Hanks. Tim Hanks.
Tim Hanks?
You knew Bill Pullman wasn't in
Joe vs. the Volcano or You've Got Mail.
He was in Twister
and Million Dollar Man.
You narrowed it down.
We get to start again now with Mike Furman.
I was in a porno called
You've Got Mail.
Was it spelled M-A-I-L, though?
It actually was.
It was a guy who just
jerked off on a pile of mail.
He's the weirdest porno in the world.
So specific
and big in Japan.
Wait, you guys...
Lots of envelope licking.
Oh, yeah, like this crowd
doesn't fill with postal fetish people.
All right, Mike,
you get this category,
suggested by Bigger in BCN on Twitter.
Thank you.
The category is Christmas All Year Round.
Okay.
And that's films
where a character
in the movie
is named Christmas.
Okay.
Has the name Christmas
somewhere in their name.
And you get to pick
between two different years,
94 or 99.
Let's see.
Which one would you like?
94.
All right.
Two stars from Leonard
for this movie
where a character is named Christmas. 94. Alright, two stars from Leonard for this movie where the character is named Christmas.
94.
He says about this movie
that it was
followed up by an animated TV
series. He also
calls this movie cheesy
and says the stars deserve
a better script.
And he lists 10 people.
How many names is it going to take you to figure this out? I will Stars deserve a better script. And he lists ten people. All right.
How many names is it going to take you to figure this out?
I will say nine.
That's a pretty smart bid.
Thanks.
I will say zero.
Wait, what?
Zero.
Zero names.
Sam says zero names Negative one
Jimmy goes negative one
Negative two
John Hamm immediately said name it
Oh, he did
Yeah, so Ricky's got to have a microphone
Well, I'm guessing it's Dumb and Dumber
With Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels.
Correct.
Lloyd's Christmas.
It was too easy.
What was the other movie?
What was the other movie with someone named Christmas?
Finally, Scott's Christmas wish came true.
John F. Farted.
What was the question, Ricky?
What was the other one? Dumb and Dumberer?
No, the other one was
there's a character named Christmas
played by Denise Richards
in The World
Is Not Enough, the James Bond movie.
And
Ham leaned over to me and goes, is it
Living Daylights?
So no.
He's back there
bragging about it. Oh, Kevin's back.
I'm sorry, what?
I just wanted to offer to
buy everyone in the audience
who don't have to technically stay
wings.
But everyone has to go.
Not some of you.
All of you.
One time.
Not actually kidding.
Okay, cool.
Oh, he forgot his jacket
That's what that was about
But always a professional
Come in with a bit
Yeah, right
And then get your jacket back
Come on, you gotta give
Yeah
I love it
Jacket's full of wings
Thanks, Kevin
Thanks, dude
All right, so...
Just a quick reminder.
Now we're going to start with Nick.
Yeah, that's right.
This is the time to change the order around.
Oh.
Yeah, so we'll start with Nick,
and then we'll go back to you, Ricky,
and come back around to you.
And Nick, your category,
another opportunity for freedom.
As you fly on those wings momentarily.
They're getting so good and soggy right now.
B Pendy suggested on Twitter
Rudolph the Re...
What?
Resin-nosed reindeer, brother.
No, I just spelled it wrong.
It's Rudolph the Red Nose.
And that's movies that have a drunk German in them.
A drunk German?
A German person who is drunk.
Got it.
Rudolph the Red Nose.
Would you like a movie that features that from 1942?
Or... Or 2009? red nose. Would you like a movie that features that from 1942 or
2009?
1942, please.
And I feel like I'm going to get it.
Okay.
Four stars from Leonard
for this movie from 1942.
He says about this movie, everything is right.
Everything is right in this movie.
He also says that it spawned short-lived TV series in the 50s and the 80s.
And he lists five, six, seven, 12 names.
12 names.
And it's got a drunk German in it.
How many names can you get it in, Nick Kroll?
I'll name it in two.
Name it.
He came to play and came to leave.
Your two names, Nick Kroll,
are Kurt
Bois,
it's like B-O-I-S,
something like that,
and Helmut
Dantien.
The drunk German.
Helmut Dantien.
And again,
1942's the year.
What do you think it's called, Nick?
Is it Christmas related or no?
I can't ask that.
You can ask that.
What was the category?
Rudolph the Red Nose.
Yeah, no, it's just a Christmas pun.
The movie's not necessarily Christmas related.
I mean, obviously, I would say that it's probably
Frasier the prequel.
They're way ahead of themselves on that.
Yeah, yeah.
I am going to say McHale's Army.
You didn't want to accidentally get that one right
if it was McHale's Navy.
This motion picture is called Casablanca.
Casablanca.
And finally, Nick Kroll gets to have his wings.
Good job.
Thank you for being here
Nick will take it
I know you're
Playing for baseball Jordan
Nick Kroll everybody
Oh and here you go
Just in time
You want to sit here and eat them?
Alright All right.
We got down to four players.
And we're going to start with Mike and then go to Sam,
according to Sam's hand signals.
Oh, wait, we flip every time?
Yeah, we flip every time. Every time it goes a little reversal?
Mm-hmm.
It keeps you on your toes.
I'm on them.
All right.
Mike, your category.
Uh-huh.
Celebrating a birthday.
Yesterday?
On Christmas Day.
Okay.
Is Sissy Spacek.
Oh.
Sissy Spacek.
Yeah, so the films of Sissy Spacek.
Okay.
This one's from 2008.
Leonard gives it two stars.
He says it's unsatisfying.
Yeah.
He also says the main characters are unusual for this type of fare.
Whatever that means.
And he also says Carol Kane appears unbilled.
Second Carol Kane reference of the evening.
Now again, does that mean without a hat?
I'm insisting to make that joke work.
I'm insisting that's a good piece of business.
She does not play a duck in this film.
She is unbilled.
And Leonard lists 13 names.
What year?
And the year is 2008. 13 names. What year? And the year is 2008.
13 names?
13 names, yeah.
I'll say 12.
It says 12 names, Sam.
What do you think of that?
I will say 11 names.
Oh, okay.
10?
Jimmy says 10! What does Ricky say 11 names. Oh, okay. Ten? Jimmy says ten!
What does Ricky say?
Nine.
No, I need you to answer.
That's a German joke.
Nine.
Mike says eight.
Sam?
Mike Furman named that movie.
Oh, wow.
Look at Sam.
That's a rarity, right?
Sam is not wrong.
Sam is playing for reals.
No, Sam knows that I don't.
Sam knows I have no idea.
Oh, look at this.
Oh, my God.
That's so nice.
No, thank you.
No, thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, I'm good.
I'm very picky with my wings.
Thanks, Nick.
Nobody wants one.
Oh, that guy wants one.
He'll take a wing.
They don't look like regular wings.
No, they don't.
They look really light.
What kind of wings are we talking about there, Nick?
What's that?
Frog wings.
Oh, now I can smell them.
All right, but it doesn't...
Star's wings.
Because that wouldn't be good for you.
Throwback.
Throwback.
I guess.
Throwback.
All right.
What's happening?
2004.
2008.
2008.
Sissy Spacek.
Eight names.
Eight names.
Your eight names are?
Yeah.
Peter Billingsley.
Colleen Camp.
Katie Mixon. Kristen Chenoweth
Right
Tim McGraw
Uh huh
Dwight Yoakam
Sure
Mary Steenburgen
Uh huh
And Jon Favreau
Johnny Favs
Former guest on the show
Yeah
Um
Yeah
What do you think that's called?
Oh here's a
Iron Man 3
Final answer
Oh so close
Johnny Fabs was in that
Yeah I know
But this movie is called
Four Christmases
Oh god
Four Christmases
We actually did have a Christmas movie in here
I know
Thank you for playing
And for singing You wanna move up? And for being you I like where I am Thank you for playing and for singing
and for being you.
I like where I am.
Thank you.
You want to stay
lucky back there?
I like right where I am.
All right.
Everyone has a mic.
Hmm?
Everyone has a mic.
I know.
It's because there's
three good little
children left.
I know.
Ten bad children
are gone.
Yeah.
I still won't say anything.
We'll start with you, Ricky, and then go to Jimmy.
Okay.
Sam is nodding his approval.
At Annabur, A-N-N-A-B-U-R, suggested Handicaprio.
Handicaprio.
And that's movies where an actor did not win the oscar playing a handicapped person
got nominated for the oscar just didn't get there even though they were playing a handicapped person
uh and the year of this particular one we're talking about is 1989 1989. Leonard calls this movie relentlessly
realistic.
He also says it was an Oscar
winner, won two Oscars.
And the director
appears in the film.
And he lists a whopping
10,
13,
16, 19,
23 names. 23 names, 19, 23 names.
23 names according to my count.
I can do it in 23 names.
Smart opening bid.
Very confident in this one.
Apologies to next Tuesday's Put Your Hands Together.
17. Jimmy together. 17.
Jimmy goes to 17.
16.
Oh, Sam.
Name it.
What?
Yeah, name it.
You're giving Sam Levine 16 names?
Yes, I am.
What movie is this?
From 89.
I'm sure he'll tell you after I give him 16 names.
I think so, too.
I'm taking my chance.
I play hard, you know, as you see tonight.
Yeah.
I believe he will not know it.
You made it to the final three.
It'll be a nice showdown between Sam and Jimmy.
Because you're giving probably one of the best players of this game, arguably.
But she is also one of the best players.
16 names.
Yeah, not tonight, she isn't.
Doug, you know I love it when you put all this pressure on me.
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
You're going to yell it out as soon as you know it.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Here's your 16 names.
Bob Gunton.
Wayne Knight.
John C. McGinley.
James LeGros.
Mike Starr.
Tom Sizemore. Michael Wincott, Ed LaTerre,
Lauter to some people.
I like to fancy it up a little.
Jason Gedrick, Abby Hoffman.
That's only 10 names.
Tom Berringer, Lily Taylor, John Goetz, Stephen Baldwin, Frank Whaley, and Josh Evans.
That's your 16 names.
And the movie is called...
I need a second, Doug.
Okay, let's give Sam a second.
Sorry, guys, I need a second.
Sam, if you want to phone a friend,
I can... Thanks, Johnny
Hamm. The year
is 1989. John Hamm knows it.
Sign a number. Another summer.
Yeah.
Put it down.
Sound of the funky drummer.
Thank you.
That's why, like, on Jeopardy,
they don't let people come back the next day
when they lost.
Just stand around in the audience
and yell at the contestants.
16 names.
I know, man.
A lot of names in there.
You want the clues again?
It won a couple of Oscars.
Relentlessly realistic.
Yeah.
Three and a half stars
from Leonard.
1989.
A number.
Another summer.
John is really... it to him.
I don't think he knows it.
I think this might be the end of the road.
This would be a record of Sam not getting the name 16.
Sam the Ma'am Levine.
That's all right.
Just give me something to think about it.
Little Wolverine.
Yeah.
He's having some thinking time.
I'm here to break records.
I know this is going to kill people.
Could I ask you to give me the names again?
There were so many.
It was very hard
to keep track.
No, I know.
There's a lot of names.
I'll give you three
of them again.
And they're the ones
I don't think
I'm pronouncing correctly.
All right.
I'll give you all of them.
Thank you.
Bob Gunton,
you know him.
Yep.
Wayne Knight,
you know him.
John C. McGinley.
Yep.
James LeGros.
LeGros, yeah.
You say LeGros? Yeah, I think it's LeGros. Okay. him. John C. McGinley. James LeGros. LeGros, yeah. You say LeGros?
Yeah, I think it's LeGros. Okay. Nope.
John Haim
begs to differ.
Mike
Starr, Tom Sizemore,
Michael Wincott,
Ed Lauder,
Jason Gedrick,
Abby Hoffman, Tom Berenger,
Lily Taylor.
And John Goetz.
And, oh, three more.
Stephen Baldwin.
Frank Whaley.
Josh Evans.
The movie's called...
Oh, son of a bitch.
Sam...
Wow, this is unreal.
I'm having such a brain fart.
You're going to kill yourself.
I am going to kill myself.
I mean, please don't kill yourself.
No, I'll try not to.
But you will feel a deep sadness.
I know.
Do you give up?
No, it's backdraft.
I can't believe I'm having such a brain fart on it.
That's what you're going with, backdraft?
Yeah, man. All right. I got nothing. I don't believe I'm making such a brain fart on it That's what you're going with? Backdraft? Yeah man
I got nothing
I don't know why
Were you thinking about the handicapped aspect of it?
I completely forgot about that
Because it was nine minutes ago
I meant to say that again
The motion picture is called
Born on the 4th of July
It's got all those Oliver Stone regulars in it
Like Michael Wincott.
Good playing. Good game.
Oh, there you go.
I would not have gotten that either.
I will say this. I will say this.
As my parting words. I am human.
I am fallible. But one thing I will
not do and have never done
is fucking try
to cheat at this game. Go fuck yourselves
internet trolls.
Alright. is fucking try to cheat at this game. Go fuck yourselves, internet trolls. All right.
That's me and you now.
Whew, I'm glad that's taken care of.
I still can't believe it.
That he doesn't cheat?
16 names you gave him.
I know, but I just felt like nobody knew that.
I wouldn't have gotten that movie in 22 names.
I could have said negative one for the first time in a half history of this fucking game.
You said negative one twice tonight.
Goddamn right I did.
You better believe I did.
It's you and me, Ricky.
Garfunkel and Oates, huh?
Just Garfunkel tonight.
I'm oats, baby.
Yeah.
Watch out, boy.
I'll chew you up.
There's a new oats in town.
I'm a man eater.
I am not scared.
You're going to get some adults.
Education.
I'm not giving out my chances.
I've got to get these shitheads over here.
How you doing, buddy?
Oh.
Mine doesn't have a shithead.
Yeah, I don't know if mine does either.
There's mine, Allie?
Oh, here's mine.
Mine's over here, Doug.
Seems like you were going to have to say this one.
I'm on fire tonight.
Really?
You're mad at this guy?
No.
You're mad at him?
Did he just sign with your squad?
Here, Doug.
I might not need yours.
You're a White Sox fan?
No, it's not mine.
It's Ricky Summers.
You're doing fine with the White Sox.
They just signed Brad Penny today.
You've got to be thrilled with that move.
Brad Penny.
They signed Brad Penny.
It was between Brad Penny and me to be signed for the White Sox.
That's how bad of a signing that is.
Who gives a shit?
So who goes now?
Now that we don't have Sam, I don't know who goes.
Jimmy goes first.
Okay.
You guys not want to talk
about the Brad Penny signing?
I think we should wrap this up.
This is an exciting
matchup here.
Got a good bullpen arm.
You two have
competed against each other
in a tournament
of championships once
at Harvard.
Yeah, that's right.
Did you win?
No.
Matt Pronger won.
Yeah, there was a third one.
But we sat Indian style on the floor.
That's not the PC way to say that, is it?
It was fun.
You could say floor.
It's okay.
Chris Cross!
All right.
Jimmy gets to pick the year,
and this is a category we call Asparagus P to determine it all.
Now, do you need to walk me through what this means?
I don't know what that means either.
It means I'm going to read the entire review.
Okay.
Everyone in this room is going to,
most of the people in this room are going to know the answer,
and then it becomes a negative names game
where, you know, you can bid zero names
since you both probably know the answer,
but it should get into negative names right after that.
And so... So if it doesn't,
we should feel the fool?
Sure.
I can't tell you how to feel.
But I can ask you to pick
between three different years.
Would you like a movie from 1980,
1983,
or 1984?
84.
He goes 84.
I'm going to read the whole review to you now,
and then you'll start the bidding.
Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie.
83.
84.
1984, he says it's 107 minutes.
City kid moves to a small town where dancing has been outlawed.
Oh, God. Whose second build?
And he confronts the Hellfire
Minister in an effort
to bring it back. Too much
emphasis on Hackney's
story in so-called
musical. Though the
soundtrack did spawn a number of top
ten hits. But the
lead performer's charisma sparks innocuous film.
What is that girl's name?
And Leonard lists six, seven, eight, nine, eleven names.
Negative one.
So Jimmy goes to negative one.
Negative two.
Negative three.
Ricky takes three.
Jimmy takes...
Name it.
Three.
Three.
What? What just happened?
I don't know that girl's name.
I can't keep up.
So exciting.
Come on, Jerry!
I can't call a woman's name!
She's blonde. She wore mom jeans.
Banana curls.
She had a hairstyle like I have tonight, kind of.
Alright.
Tell us the name of the film
first of all.
Get your microphone, Jimmy.
Use your microphone. I said breakfast club for the people at home.
I love there's
four microphones and three of us and
Jimmy still didn't have a microphone.
I threw it down as if I was a rapper.
And you, sir, you're the DJ.
Top three in the correct order.
Here we go.
Kevin Bacon.
I'm not going to say if you're right or wrong
until you say all three.
I cannot pull this woman's name,
and I wanted you to go to four.
Damn you to hell.
Damn you, curse you.
You don't even know number two?
No, I thought two was the lady.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
I'm so going to win this.
Oh, interesting.
Shit.
Does she not
Have second billing?
Does she have third billing?
Maybe she gets fourth
Maybe David Ogden Steers
Is in there
Where's David Ogden Steers
In all of this?
I feel like
There's just two people
That won't leave my party
I'm ready to go
Ricky's starving I'm starving I'm hoping that go Ricky's starving
I'm starving
I'm hoping that
the name pops in my head
and it's not going to
I
now listen
I'm admitting I don't know it
give me the initials
of the young lady
but I'm admitting
I don't know it
alright so Ricky's our winner
because if she didn't know
she wouldn't have done it
Ricky's the winner
thank you
goodbye Judy
thank you yeah Thank you. Goodbye, Jimmy. Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you, everybody.
Is it Kevin Bacon, and then who's second?
John Lithgow.
The initials are LS.
Laurie Singer.
Yes.
God damn it!
Yeah, and then Go-Go Lithgow is in third place.
Johnny Lith.
He's in the third slot.
Laurie Singer, I would never have...
And then Chris Penn, four, right?
No, they go Diane
Wiest gets the fourth slot.
Then SJP. Then SJP.
And then
some guy named John Laughlin. That didn't work out so
good for him.
Elizabeth Gorsy, Francis Lee
McCain, Jim Young, the great
Jim Young, Brian Wimmer.
There you go, Jimmy Pardo, give me your shithead.
Thank you.
Thanks, Doug.
And we don't need your shithead, Ricky.
Oh, what'd you say?
We don't need your shithead, because you won all of these prizes.
Brian.
Brian with the lightsaber.
Brian.
These are all yours. Come get all this stuff
Good luck
And here's your lightsaber back
Good luck getting all that stuff home
Dude
Let's just watch him
Collect all of his stuff
Can I leave now
Or do I stay here
The little drum kit is tricky
No you can go
Ricky Lindholm our champion
Poked her eyes out Lindenholm, our champion!
Poked her eyes out.
She is the first one on stage with the theme song and the last to leave.
That worked out pretty nice.
And I've got a... There you go.
He's still collecting his prizes.
Congratulations.
Yeah, don't forget the Jon Hamm bobblehead.
That's going to be fun to jerk off on
he keeps saying yes more more all right and i've got a whole pile of shitheads to say here
thank you guys for coming out. We did it.
Oh, I'm breaking people's name tags.
Stepping on people's name tags.
As always,
the racists at Sony Entertainment are shitheads.
Dianne Feinstein is a shithead.
John Lester is a shithead? John Lester is a shithead?
What's this about?
Gurdia is a shithead?
What is that?
What?
Guardians of Peace is a shithead?
You ran out of time.
You finished this side.
Well, good job.
Uber price surging is a shithead
Gwyneth Paltrow's head is a shithead
lighter thieves are a shithead
Anto choose four
enemy to the Maccabees
is a shithead Antiochus Yeah. Anto choose four. Enemy to the Maccabees.
Is a shithead.
Antiochus.
Antiochus.
Thank you.
Thank you, Sam.
You're like correcting things in my nightmares.
And finally, I think that's all of them.
Hope I didn't miss one.
Awards for movies that haven't been released yet are a shithead.
Seasons, greetings everybody!