Doug Loves Movies - Scott Aukerman, Matt Braunger, and Dana Gould Guest

Episode Date: August 4, 2010

Another finalist for the Len Maltin Tournament of Championships is chosen as comedians Scott Aukerman, Matt Braunger, and Dana Gould compete.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. And I love weird, unadjustable microphone stands.

Even more than I love movies sometimes. I just drop my water on the floor. Things are out of control already. I'm so excited about this episode, I can hardly stand it. I mean, John Lithgow isn't here, so don't get crazy. I know. Do you come every week thinking this might be the Lithgow week?

Oh, man. He's making a movie called Rise of the Apes with, he plays James Franco's father and he has Alzheimer's and apes are taking over the world.

Which, if apes are going to take over the world, can you imagine a worse time for it to happen than when you have Alzheimer's? You're sitting around going, wait, were apes are going to take over the world, can you imagine a worse time for it to happen than when you have Alzheimer's? You're sitting around going, wait, were apes always like this?

My name is Doug, and I love movies. Doug Loves Movies is coming to you once again from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles before Comedy Death Ray. If you aren't listening to it already, be sure to check out the Comedy Death Ray radio podcast at Earwolf.com. They've also

got Sklarborough Country with the Sklarborough Brothers, the Sklarboroughs. And so you should check that stuff out there. And it's August 3rd, 2010 as I say this. I had a lot of fun at the Pot the Vote tour of California. We actually played the Leonard Maltin game at a few of the shows.

Some shows were a little too rowdy for that, but some were good for it. And, you know, because people in the audience wore name tags and insisted on it. And we've had a couple weeks off since I've been here in the UCB theater talking about how excited I was about a movie that was coming out. And as I've said on Twitter and specialthing.com and on this very podcast, the episode that was taped at the Del Close Marathon at UCB in New York. I wasn't too crazy about Inception. More on that later, but first, the one guy clapping. Anytime there's a monster hit, when I would go on and on about how much I love Dark Knight, there was an occasional person be like,

it's not so good, and I'm that guy with Inception. I'm the guy who doesn't like Inception and it's like I don't hate it like people keep writing me well how can you hate it I got a tweet from a guy today how can you hate Inception and love kick ass keep your opinions to yourself and it's like well first of all they're my opinions

and I have a podcast where opinions are shared and and in my stand up comedy and in my life I say what I like and don't like and in my stand-up comedy and in my life i say i say what i like and don't like uh and in the case of inception i did not hate it that's too strong of a word for it i did not get drawn into the world of inception and i'm going to try and see it again i'm going to not try i'm going to do it i'm going to go sit through it again which i do whenever i feel like what is everybody else loving about this that I'm missing?

You know, maybe I was too high or whatever. You know, I'm willing to give it another chance. I did that with Avatar, and I stood by my original decision. And as time goes on, more and more people will join my camp. The movie's not a

timeless classic. It felt old from the second it opened Alright So anyway So I love Kick-Ass and I don't love Inception Doesn't mean the people that made Inception Aren't brilliant and did an amazing job Like it's an amazing movie

Like when it gets the same slot That District 9 got for the top 10 movies In the Academy Awards I will be happy for it But the Academy is going to give it to the movie about the lesbians because they're both actresses that have been nominated for a million awards.

That's how it works, you know? So, let's see. Oh, I want to do a quick impression, though. This is a black guy in the audience at Inception. Black guy in the audience at Inception. Look out, River! That van is gonna hit you! Eventually!

Alright, my guests tonight are the final three comics of five. Two of them are never gonna be able to do this, but the final three comics vying to get a spot in the absolute finals of the Leonard Maldon Game Tournament of Championships. Please welcome Scott Aukerman, Matt Bronger, and Data Gould.

Yeah. Sit over here. I said to Scott in the green room, sit as far away from me as possible. And not only did he pick the chair right next to me, but he cozied up quite nice. Hi, Doug. That's what Scott Aukerman is going to sound like

for the entire podcast. Matt Bronger. Hey, buddy. That's what he sounds like. And Dana Gould is here. Hi, Doug! Hi. Yeah, I'd like to start with a visual impression.

Here's everybody when they testify at Congress. Yes, sir. Finally, we've had all these microphones lined up at a table, and that's finally somebody's done an impression that's not for the listeners. Visual impression. A lot of the guests come on this show and then don't speak into the microphones

because it is a very intimate theater. But it gets frustrating. Now Scott's going to do that. You're just a troublemaker on every level. Take the microphone out of your pocket, Scott Aukerman. Oh, this one.

Tell everybody how much you loved Inception. Defend that piece of shit! Wake up and defend that crap! You liked it, right? I liked it a lot, actually. There you go. Just like everybody. I liked it a lot, actually. There you go. Just like everybody.

I liked it a lot because, you know what? It made my heart think. See, my heart did not get involved at all. Either beating faster or thinking of love and thoughts of romance. Matt Bronger, what did you think? Of Inception? No. Let's talk about Ramona and

Beezus. Loved it! So pissed I got cut out of that. At the end of Ramona and Beezus, the top does drop, by the way. There's no question about it at the end of that one. I liked it, but I was really

confused. But I'm going to see it again. But you enjoyed your confusion. Yeah. You're all right with it. All right. Dana Gould has not seen it because he has children. Yes, but my joke would be, I was left so emotionally wrung out, I sat in my chair like a raggedy lesbian. And my advice would be, work on that just a little bit.

I have more. Before you release it I was writing that As I was saying it I started that Without knowing what it was That should be the title Of your next record

If you had Lesbian You had lesbian As I was saying that I like a lesbian Me me me me Alright I'm ready Here's another visual

Oh you want to start the show This could also be like A Dr. McCoy Hey everybody This could also be like A Dr. McCoy. Hey, everybody. This could also be like a Dr. McCoy thing. No more cancer. It's a Star Trek show. More visual jokes.

Try to think of some more of those. For the radio. And save them for television or some show that live streams. Jack Palance smiling. Perfect. Nailed. So what have you seen lately, Dana Gould? Have you been on a long plane flight to go get a baby?

I have, in fact. I saw Inception. I particularly loved Leonardo DiCaprio's... Wait, are we in Inception right now? I thought we just... I'm sleeping. You did see it? I did see it.

On a plane or regular? No, in a theater. Oh, okay. In a theater. I enjoyed Leonardo DiCaprio's one-note, wooden, and joyless performance. He's really our Roger Moore. Yeah. That's part of the key to my not caring for it so much is I thought, wouldn't this be awesome if the characters were interesting?

You know, like if I cared about them in any way at all. And I normally like Leo quite a bit. Doug, Juno is inceptioning Leo DiCaprio. That fucking blew your mind right there. It did. There is no doubt to that.

It's Juno-ing? Juno is fucking inceptioning him. You ever think about that? No, not until right now. The reality of the movie is Juno is fucking inceptioning him. You ever think about that? No, not until right now. The reality of the movie is fake. It's a dream, and Juno got in there, and she's not pregnant anymore inside the dream. That's how she got rid of her baby?

Yeah, and she has an inception portion. I'm so glad that went somewhere. It was like, oh my God, Google Maps, get us there. Come on. But it was awesome when we arrived, and then we got out, and we talked about it. We had a good time. It was like Thanksgiving dinner.

Oh, so the yams were especially... If the Memento guy was in Inception, you could walk into the movie and talk to them. There would be so many levels. You could walk into the movie and talk to them. There would be so many levels. You could go into the movie... Now, you wrote that, though, three weeks ago. I wrote that with my team.

I wrote that with my team. He wrote that one in less time than it takes to say it. Exactly. He writes really fast. I wrote that in the time it took my pee-hole to part but before the urine came out. Pee-hole parting time. Heavenly shades of night are falling.

It's pee-hole parting time. I was on a plane yesterday, and the lady next to me... I'm a grown man. The lady next to me said, there's some old guy in first class who's famous, and I was like, I don't know who it is. I didn't see him when I was walking in.

I did see an old guy, and I don't think he was famous. But she goes, I think it's Charlton Heston. And I had to break the news to her. Yeah. Oh, he's dead. Is this the plane to heaven? He's not on the plane because he's a fucking dead lady. Unless they're shooting Weekend at Bernie's,

what would it be, three or four? That would be awesome if Andrew McCarthy and that other guy... I love how people in the audience said, Jonathan Silverman. I said, and that other guy, because it's funnier than Jonathan Silverman. And I couldn't remember Jonathan Silverman.

Why didn't you say that other single guy? No, because I would really get that if I said that. Fuck you. I wrote that for Scott. Thank you. Danny, you're doing great work. Good passing jokes to everybody under the table, Dana. Take a bullet yourself.

Come on, kid. Say it. No. I won't. So how'd you find time to fit in Inception with all the kids and whatnot? We got a little, we have a sitter. You know, it's say it. No, I won't. So how'd you find time to fit in Inception with all the kids and whatnot? We got a little, we have a sitter. You know,

it's a $90 event when we go to the movies. We have to coordinate and people come over to the house and then we sneak out. Times are tough for the Dana Gould household.

I got a lot. I got a lot going on. $90, a bit of a stretch for... No, I didn't say I was worried about it. It's just a lot of money for,

you know, I still, I still appreciate a dollar. Sure. You know what the... How much does a gallon of milk cost? My wife's not going to work forever. I might have to... Let's not drag her into this,

because I've got a lot of HBO issues. Oh, boy. And HBO is not movies. It's HBO. It's not drag her into this, because I've got a lot of HBO issues. Oh, boy. And HBO is not movies. It's HBO. And it's not TV. So it's not TV either. It's this weird nether area. Have you been to the movies lately, Matt Bronger?

Yeah. I saw Winter's Bone. I saw that. Did you see it? Saw that, too. Hilarious. Awesome. It was amazing, but, ah but she skinned an actual squirrel.

See that? She pulled his guts out. Spoiler alert. Very realistic depiction of white trash in that movie. Yep, yep. I'm thinking about going as Teardrop for Halloween. Oh, nice. I'm going as...

And the uncle... What did Teardrop look like in the movie? He's like a meth head or something? He's that guy who was on Deadwood, wasn't he? He was on Deadwood. Right? Real lean guy. What the fuck is his name?

He played two parts on Deadwood. Sam. No. Oh, John Hawks. You're right. Not that other guy. John Hawks. John Hawks.

That's him, right? Yeah. He's in that one thing called The Other Thing. He's like the crazy uncle. He was in Perfect Storm. Yeah, he's in that one thing called The Other Thing. He's like the craziest friend. Perfect Storm. Yeah, the Uncle Guy. He was the guy in the opening of From Dusk Till Dawn, too.

He was the guy that walks into the convenience store at the opening of Dusk Till Dawn. Oh, I don't know. Jeez, you blew my mind on that one. I don't know. I'm trying. You can visibly see my brain clanking along. He has a great line. He's talking about somebody who has a retarded kid, and he goes,

Now, come on, man. A kid like that belongs in a circus. They shouldn't be putting him to He has a great line. He's talking about somebody who has a retarded kid and he goes, now come on, man. A kid like that belongs in a circus. They shouldn't be putting him to work in a diner. That's a great line. Doesn't he get shot in the head by the end of that scene? He does get shot in the head and he dates a girl who is part of a singing... No, this is how I know it. Dates a girl

that's part of a kid's birthday singing duo because I've written them checks while he stood by politely. Nice. He's also in Eastbound and Down now. Yes, he is. As his brother. The rational guy. Funny. Nice show. Yeah. Great.

See? Yeah, I love that show. Have you been in the movie, Scott Aukerman? I've been in the movie. I saw a really great movie last night I forget what it was called It was about a woman who was looking for love And she was choosing between two men And she chose one man instead

And he got down on his knees and proposed to her And I forget what it was called But the roses were involved Oh, you were watching The Bachelorette on television. Oh, that's right. That's what you were doing. Yeah, that was really good. I heard Oprah Winfrey doing a sequel to Eat, Pray, Love

called Eat, Pray, Eat. You should be writing for the Oscars this year. I totally fucking... I fucking stepped on that one. Can you say it again, Mr. Bruce Blanch? Thank you. Hang on. Let me do the visual.

Radio silence. Jesus Christ. Christ. For those of you who bothered to come, I will do that like Bruce Valanche. Sir, visual. I ended up re-threading the sequel to Eat, Pray, Love, called Eat, Pray, Love.

Called Eat, Pray, Love called Eat, Pray... Called Eat, Pray... Eat... It's too bad you couldn't... Yes, go ahead. It's too bad you couldn't slip into a... How long was I standing? It's too bad you couldn't slip into a tight T-shirt that says Meatball Baby with an arrow pointing down. Or a blue dress with a white stain

and then say Monica and then you're stuck with it for another hour and a half. Should have slipped that one to Bronger. No, that's nuts. That's how he did his one-man show. He walked out wearing a blue dress and a white stain on it and he just walked in and he went,

Monica. Why? Did you see his one-man show? No, but I have this on very good authority. A gay dude told me. So I know it's real. I saw him once on the street and he was walking to his car and he got to his car and there was a

parking ticket on it and he very theatrically ripped the parking ticket up and threw it into the air like he was Rip Taylor. You know, I would say this. Oh, that's why he's called Rip. Now I get it. He's a lovely guy. He's a lovely guy He's a lovely guy You love Lynch? Yeah Okay

He's a lovely guy Alright That's why I made fun of him Because he's never done me anything Whenever somebody's lovely I like do the most disgusting impression of them Yeah exactly I possibly can

But at least the listeners didn't see it So if he hears it Exactly He won't know It'll be fine He's a nice guy Yeah yeah Everybody likes him No one likes me They haven't see it, so if he hears it, he won't know. It'll be fine. He's a nice guy. Yeah, yeah. Everybody likes him.

No one likes me. They haven't announced it yet. Who do you think is going to host it next, Oscar? They haven't said yet, but... Oh, I can't wait. Could be anybody nobody cares about. As soon as they announce that, that is the minute I come down with Oscar fever. I just cannot wait.

This is about the time where I drive up the end of Beachwood and I look at the Hollywood sign and I go, Hollywood, you better think of a good host for Oscar night. I just thought of a good one.

They should have Daryl Hammond as Sean Connery hosting the Oscars. I think that would be awesome. That would be a lot of fun. What about a guy named Oscar? Is a guy named Oscar

ever hosted? Oscar Nunez could host it Yeah Oscar Goldman from The Six Million Dollar Man Yeah, sure Why not open up the Oscar hosting duties To fictional characters? And he's painted gold

It's a great idea Like have him look like the actual Oscar Oscar Have the person completely gold It's even better And their hands clasped in front of them I'll do you one further Sylvester Stallone as Oscar

From the movie Oscar Yes, great film Made gold with Oscar Perfect If we're doing fictional characters clasped in front of them. I'll do you one further. Sylvester Stallone has Oscar from the movie Oscar. Yes, great film. Made gold with Oscar. Perfect. If we're doing fictional characters, what about like Garfield or Scooby-Doo? They haven't worked a lot since the movie.

Oscar the Grouch, fictional character named Oscar. Perfect. Or that. Let's write it up. You know what Oscar would say? He'd come out and go, I missed the last part of the show

because I was in the can. Yeah. Bam! Slam dunker Rooney. You always got more laughs at that than I did. Holy crap, in front of the mic for that one. But I Love Trash would finally get the dance routine it deserves.

What did I see lately? I saw Salt. Did you guys see Salt? No. See Salt? I'm afraid she'll snap in half. I can't watch. Oh, yeah.

She is very skinny. Very skinny. And she's fighting all the time. She's falling on trucks and shit. Why would those twigs snap once in a while? She's falling on her boobs, though. Yeah, she totally boob plants every landing whenever she jumps from truck to truck to truck. Oh, I wonder if she'll make it to this next truck.

Oh, she did. Wow. How about another one? There it is. Great. Like, I've never, I like Brad Pitt a lot, but I've never missed him more because Saul was like Mr. and Mrs. Smith

with just one person running around and no clear evidence anyone else cares. Like, it's just a lot of, but the one thing that I noticed in that movie was that she has a tendency to... You know, she switches her outfits because you can't recognize a lady in a new outfit. And when she's on the lam, you know,

just switch up, like, just have a different style that you pick off of a rack as you run through someone's apartment. And it fits perfect. Well, yeah, it fits. You know, she's always grabbing through the whole movie. She's grabbing pieces of clothes

and slipping into them. That's part of her spy training is to be able to look at labels and see what size everything is. Yeah, yeah. While running. Don't look at anything. Just grab stuff off the rack

because you have that, you have the training. You have the mind for that's my size. Doug is pointing out his mind right now. Yes. The home listener. Pointing out my mind. So, now I realize that, so stupid, size. Doug is pointing out his mind right now. Yes. The home listener. Pointing out my mind. So

now I realize that so stupid for the rest of my life whenever hey, where'd my shirt go? Oh, some super spy ran by and needed a fucking change of clothes and I was opportunity meets thievery.

Yeah. And then you turn on it in the wind. You turn on a movie and there's Angelina Jolie wearing the meatball baby with an arrow pointing down shirt. You're like, that's where I went. That's the other thing. She was really stylish the whole time. She should grab some stupid I'm with dummy shirt or something.

Yeah, some Big Johnson t-shirt or something out of Mervin's. Remember those? Those aren't around anymore. I have no idea what you're talking about. What the hell am I talking about? Big Johnson shirts from Mervin's? From Mervin's. Remember those? Those aren't around anymore. I have no idea what you're talking about. Big Johnson shirts from Mervin's? From Mervin's, specifically. Or TJ Maxx, wherever you go, Ross.

Wherever I go, I go to people send me clothes and then I wear them. Should we do the TJ Maxx theme before we move on no no no then we'll have to pay for it I don't know

oh good point yeah and by pay for it I mean suffer listen hey yo jokes and fun the way those theme songs really get into my head though

those especially daytime ones you know like 588 2300 mermen oh wait what especially daytime ones, you know, like... 588-2300 Mervin's Oh, wait. Sorry.

The creepy... Call 1-800-GENERAL-NOW to get that insurance. General Now. General Now? General Now. Well, you won't get lemon from Toyota of Orange.

Oh, yeah. I could have got a lemon. I love that. The guy going, I could have get a lemon. From Toyota of Orange? Oh, yeah. I could have got a lemon. I love that. The guy going, I could have got a lemon. This is Southern California thing, but I could have got a lemon. Is this California? I wouldn't have got a lemon. I wouldn't have got a lemon?

Yeah, it's a buyer's remorse. I already fucked up, and you brought me down to the studio to cut a commercial for your car lot? I want to show you the car you could have had. Oh! I couldn't have not gotten a lemon? Yeah. I'm making this far more complicated. From Toyota of Orange?

Yeah. Right where we are right now. I went to Toyota right next to Orange. Yeah, you shouldn't have. What the fuck? I'm sorry to bring you in after you've already spent all your money on that car, but I just wanted you to know you really screwed yourself. It's all good.

When we feared the Japanese because of their economic might and we were trembling at the feet of Toyota, there was a commercial about how great Fords were now. And at the end, they had an angry Japanese guy reading about the Ford. And he went, how many standard features? 43! And he went, how many standard features? 43!

The angriest number. It was like gung-ho in reverse. Exactly. Yes. It was like Dream Team. I lost my mind. I was just thinking of another movie. Wow, I hope Michael Keaton movies is a category in the ballgame, because you guys will tear that shit up.

He's the voice of Ken in Toy Story 3D. I can name multiplicity in no names. I came up with a new review for Inception. It's like The Dark Knight, but without Heath Ledger. Yeah, think about that and go to sleep and then dream about it. Let's play the

Leonard Maltin game, you guys. That's what we're here for. All of that was just filler. This is what it's really about. This is the tournament of championships. A couple people that could never make it

to a tournament of championships are Anthony Jeselnik and Jerry O'Connell because they're very busy. You guys are free enough to do this. After a lot of... I had to make a lot of effort to work it out so all three of you could be here on the same night.

Whoever wins tonight will go on to play in the finals of the Tournament of Champions, whenever we can arrange that, against Ricky Lindholm from Garfunkel and Oates and Jimmy Pardo from Jimmy Pardo. From Mystery Mrs. Pardo. Yeah. The Chicago Pardo.

Never Not Funny Pardo. So it'll be a very exciting show and you guys should be very excited at your chance to be a part of it. And we have name tags right here. So we got Michael.

Scott Aukerman. Michael, you're going to be playing for him. What's up? Remember that? Remember that? I do remember it because people strangely still say it. And then it's like if you had a commercial where you coined hello and they're like, oh my god, I can't believe people are still say it. And then it's like if you had a commercial where you coined hello

and then like, oh my God, I can't believe people are still saying that. Andrew, Matt Bronger will be playing for you. Hello.

He's got a great comedy album called Soak Up the Night. And Dana Gould is on the end there. Who would you, pick somebody from the front row, Dana, for you to play for with a name tag on.

Someone with a name tag. Oh, you don't have... Oh, yeah, no, you do have a name tag. What's your name? What's it say? Where's the beef? Wait a second. Remember that?

What just happened? Remember that? I thought we were doing popular catchphrases. Oh, well... I wasn't making a comment about Lauren. We're talking about phrases that still sort of exist. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

The only time somebody says that now. Am I leaving now? Is that what just happened? Is that what just happened? You've been evicted. Oh, the catchphrase thing. For a guy who has emailed me, For many of us, I lost out.

you would know that my email address is clarapellerfan at AOL.com. I want to go as deep as we can into this well of old stupid reference. Although Rob gets an award for having the biggest name tag. But it's not...

Rob took a piece of notebook paper and folded it in half and wrote his name on it and then stuck it on his chest. That's a napkin? It just reminds me of so many six-digit phone numbers I got from women. Hey! Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. We know who we're playing for.

I'm very excited because I had some problems with the Leonard Maltin app for a while and I got a new phone and now those problems didn't carry over into the new phone. Oh, thank God. That's what I'm saying.

It really worked out great. I went and saw my friend Matt Myra. He works at the Genius Bar at the Apple store here in town, and he really hooked me up by charging me $500 for a new phone. That is pressure, though, when you work this. Is there a genius available?

You? It's funny. It's hard to pick a font that is sarcastic, but it's the genius bar is what it actually is. They're all stupid. Yeah. It's ironic. Yeah.

All right. Why? Why did I explain that? Where's the beef? is. Nobody there. They're all stupid. Yeah. Ironic. Yeah. Alright. Why? Why did I explain that? Where's the beef? Did we talk about how this looks like Star Trek already? Oh yeah, we did. At least that's sort of a movie reference. Well, isn't that special? I'll catch

Frase you in the ground if you want to play that game. I can't think of any. Okay. I'm from Jersey. That was maybe the worst. Is that the Jersey short? That was my favorite Joe Piscopo character.

The most ghastly catchphrase. That was my favorite. I came from Jersey. Yeah. That was the whole character. That was to catchphrase is what the Holocaust was to human endeavors. It was just the worst example

of anything you could do. Okay. Let's start with Scott Aukerman. Would you like to play a movie that's a musical biopic? Which, by the way, there's a lady on MSNBC today talking about a new biopic that's coming out. And she kept musical biopic or, which by the way, there's a lady on MSNBC today talking about a new biopic that's coming out

and she kept saying biopic. She kept going, oh, this is going to be a great biopic. It's weird that, oh, it's because the guy that did Inconvenient Truth, Davis Guggenheim, is doing the biopic of Justin Bieber and they were talking about it on MSNBC

and she kept saying biopic and I was just like oh my god you're the entertainment reporter quit saying biopic so we have it's okay if Wolf Blitzer says it yeah yeah like Wolf Blitzer is like well why is he even who wrote that down for him to say what what happened in a muso by a music biopic that he had to talk about so that's category number one. Got it. Then there's westerns, and then there's war movies.

Would you like a biopic, a western, or a war movie? Musical in nature, the biopic. Biopic. Here we go. Would you like a biopic from 1980, 1986, or 1991?

91. All right. I know it. Robots are great at this game. The bidding starts with Scott, then it'll move to Dana, and then go clockwise from there. Do I get to hear a description?

Yes, you do. Len gives it two and a half stars. Fairly accurate, I would say. Okay. But I loved Kick-Ass and didn't like Inception. So keep that in mind. He calls it vivid. And he says that the director appears briefly in the film.

It's two and a half stars. And it came out in 91. And it's two and a half stars, and it came out in 91, and it's a musical biopic. And there are... 21 names! How many names do you think you can get it in? Scott Aukerman. I think I know it.

Oh. Actually. All right, so then you, of course, know that you can say zero names, or you can say I can get an X number of negative names. And here's the twist on negative names. What's this now? Here's the twist on negative names.

You go, I can name in negative names one or two or three, but then you have to name the cast from the top down. Top down in the order? In the right order. Oh, Jesus. So if you say, if you know who the star is, you could say I could do it in one negative name, and bam, you'll probably get it. But as soon as you get into two or three, you get into a tricky area.

Okay. He usually uses the billing that was used in the film. Yeah, okay. That's the order. And does that get me extra points, or is that just for bragging? It's just for winning the point. You can go right to negative names. Well, because the guy next to you might know it, especially now you've sat around giving him a lot of time to think.

All right, well, you know what? I know two negative names on it. If this is the movie I'm going to, if this is the one that I'm thinking of, I can go two negative names. I can name it in two negative names. All right, so. Ball's out.

Now we go down to Dana Gould down the end. You could say more negative names or say Scott Aukerman. Name that movie and those two negative names. I'm going to say Scott Aukerman name that movie and those two negative names. I'm going to hold my thumb up. Congratulations for getting the point. If you get the name of the movie right,

if you get it right and it's the one I'm talking about. What are you talking about? If you get it, how many times red equals five? What is the name of the movie? I have no idea what's going on. What is the name of the movie? Is it What's Love Got to Do With It?

No. Fuck! Okay, and who are the two names? Angela Bassett and Larry Fishburne. No, but you could have... Okay. That'd be weird for you to guess names from another movie.

Oh. But the two names I was looking for are Val Kilmer and Frank Whaley. Oh, the Doors. The Doors is right. That's right. Motherfucker. When is What's Love Got to Do with it? 93?

I don't know the year offhand. It was funny, too. 95? Shut the fuck up. The voice of the audience was even like, yeah, questioned it. Not even like, if somebody went 95, fuck you. But 95? fuck you. But 95? Fuck you!

You should have been, fuck you. But I'm sorry. I was close, though. You gotta admit. By close, you mean off by two to five years. You thought it was one movie. Turns out it was a different movie. Yeah, that's true. Well, see you later.

Good night. Let's start with Matt Bronger this time. Because Danny Gould got the point. Would you like to play Westerns, war movies, or in honor of the release of Kick-Ass today on DVD, Nicolas Cage movies? Oh, yeah, Nicolas Cage. Nicolas Cage movies.

Here we go. Would you like one from... Are there any movies that aren't Nicolas Cage movies? Not anymore Not in my heart anyway 1987, 1997 Or 2007 97

97, here we go It could be any one Of 371 films He's made a few movies I'll give you a hint His hair is weird Anyone of 371. I know. He's made a few movies. I'll give you a hint. His hair is weird. That's just a generic.

That doesn't count. Leonard gives it three stars. In this movie, he talks softly and then inexplicably screams and then goes back to talking softly. His mouth is agape and he shakes his head around weirdly. Alma! All right. His mouth is agape And he shakes his head around weirdly Alma Alright 1987 Three stars from Len

Wait 97 97 Yeah That's what you said right 97 97 Yeah didn't you just say 87 I'm saying 97 now

Okay And I'm gonna stick to it Cool 97 He says Len says that it's, doesn't know when to stop. Oh, this movie, it doesn't know when to stop. Okay.

Okay. And then he also says. Eventually stops. It's mostly a description of the plot, so I don't want to give too much away. He says two-thirds of it are terrific. Okay. Which is pretty much the same clue as

but the film doesn't know when to stop. I think I know what it is. All right, but let's tell you how many names you have to go with. Okay. Twelve names. Okay. Now, if you think you know what it is, and you think you know a few of the leads,

and the order that they would receive billing, then go ahead and go for negative names, or you could go straight to zero names. Well, I'll just do zero because I don't know the order. Okay. So then we go to Scott Aukerman, who can try to do some negative names or say name that movie. You guys are intense players.

This is exciting. I feel like I know what it is. Can I tell you something real quick? Yeah. It's not what's love got to do with it. Then I am way off. Remember that scene where Nicolas Cage showed up and he was like... Is he in on the waterfront?

No, I know what this is. I can do it in two negative names. Look at you. They've got to be in the right order. Dana Gould? Oh, name it. He says name it. Champion.

After a lot of consideration, Dana Gould screams name it. All right, so what's the movie? Face Off. That's correct. Yeah, now what order are they listed in? First to second. John Travolta, Nicolas Cage. That is correct!

Scott Ackerman! Holy shit! That is exciting. And as we know, now from the news, facial transplants are not that easy or successful. You still come out looking like John Merrick. Or Roger Ebert. The Elephant Man. Yes.

The Elephant Man, for those of you that don't know. There are a lot of people. And here it is, the world's first transplant. Can we see the before one more time? Could you put up the before again? Can we just start saying Roger Ebert instead of the Elephant Man? Yeah, I think so. I'm just saying to expedite

things. Vincent Gallo didn't put a curse on the Elephant Man. He doesn't have a crazy weirdo lumpy hump and a weird walk and bizarre genitalia. Yes, he does. In fairness. How do you know? In fairness, they both grew up in cages. Fucking in fairness. Nicholas

Cages. Bring it back to movies Alright so you get a point there That was a good one Amazing work Scott Aukerman So it's Scott won Dana won We'll go back to We'll start with Dana on this one

Wait Yeah Dana Would you like a war movie, a Nicolas Cage movie, or one of my favorite categories in theaters now? A war movie. A war movie. All right. Would you like one from 1987, 1999, or 2010?

Dana called. 2000. I'll have the, what was the first one? 1987? Yeah, I like that one. Okay, old school. Three stars. Not enough, my opinion.

87. It's an adaptation of a book, according to Len. I don't know for sure. It's an adaptation of a book, according to Len. I don't know for sure. And he says also about it that it's compelling and well-acted. Why only three stars then, Len? And there are eight names.

It's a war movie from 87. Three stars. 87. What did I say, 87? 87 and 97. 87. 87. That's what you picked. War movie. 87. What'd I say, 87? 87 or 97? 87. 87. That's what you picked.

War movie. Shh. No discussing it in the audience. Negative one name. Negative one name, he says. So that means he can name the lead actor in that movie. We come down here to Scott Aukerman. Oh, no, wait. No.

I'm going to take that back. What? I don't know if he's the first name or not. Shit. You're going to withdraw a bid? No, I'll do two names. Who do you know is not first name? I'll do negative two names. Can I do that? You said negative one name. Why are you holding your microphone like a

gay man in the 40s smoking a cigarette? Well, first of all, I'm going to get in my tub and have a soak and then I'm going to write my column and I don't want to be you tomorrow morning when I open up the newspaper. So you know the order of the names? Yeah, I think I do. We go this way, right?

I'm going the right way. Well, I don't know. Face off as a woman. Because last time I said... Oh, if it's the other way, then go to Matt. He says negative one name, Matt. And he's not sure who the lead is. No, he wanted to, but I wouldn't let him.

So negative one name, I know. Negative one name, that's good. You can't be... Yeah, do it. I don't know it. I don't know it. We could show off and do two names if you want But Sean Penn

Michael J. Fox Casualties of War That was my guess No No And no On all three of those I'll read the cast

And you guys can jump in When you think you know It's not Full Metal Jacket Correct It's Full Metal Jacket Why not four stars? Yeah I don't know It's bananas See that's a That's a terrible clue That's B it not four stars? Yeah, I don't know It's bananas

That's a terrible clue That's B-A-N-A-S That's why I thought when you were like I wasn't sure who was first Because it is kind of Matthew Modine And then the next name

Is Adam Baldwin I don't think you would have Gotten that No That he was You know, you think You'd give second billing To Lee or me

Entire movie Entire movie shot in England That was the final line Of the review filmed in England. And I didn't say that because I knew it would be a giveaway to Dana Gould. True. The man with no life. Because he knows stuff like that. So Matt gets the point for that.

Yeah, so everybody's got a point. Whoever wins this next one. Whoever gets the next one. I won for losing. Wins. So we'll start with Scott. I hope it's movies I was in. Odd man out on that one.

Mystery man. History. Screens of animals with Scott. I hope it's movies I was in. Mystery Men! Mystery! Scott Aukerman. Nicholas Cage in theaters now or musical biopictures? Take your time. Scott's thinking. Comedy Death Race starts in 20 minutes.

Musical biopics Alright Fuck I should do I'm glad you really Thought through What? What do you want? I feel like I should do Nick Cage

But I get weird On the years of those Alright So which one's it gonna be? Who are you playing for? Charity No Michael Don't call Michael You're playing for Michael Michael which one's it going to be? Who are you playing for? Charity. No.

Michael? Don't call Michael Charity, man. You're playing for Michael. Michael, which one should you do? Which one do you think you should do? Nicolas Cage or... I won on Nicolas Cage, so maybe I should do Nicolas Cage. Yeah, consistency is the hobgoblin of foolish minds. Emerson.

When did this become Doug Love's poetry? Somebody said it in the movie once. When did this become a slam of any sort? I'm going to the limerick slam in the men's room. Okay, so you get the remaining years are 2007 or 87. 87.

87, here we go. Three and a half stars from Leonard Maltin. He is absolutely wrong. This is the most four-star movie I could practically think of. Nicolas Cage is in it, and it's written by some people. And look out for those chase scenes, he says. And he also calls it flaky. So, yeah.

So, Leonard Bolton confused this movie with a croissant. There are nine names. And we start the meeting with Mr. Scott Aukerman from Earwolf.com. Chase scenes. Fuck, that fucks me up. That's the intent of the clues.

Chase scenes. Confused and annoying. What I'm thinking of, but I'm going to say I'll get it in nine names. Nine names. Dana Gould. to say I'll get it in nine names. Nine names. Dana Gould. Oh, I can get it in... Five names. Matt Brogger.

I'm going to go... 87, you said, right? Yeah. Okay, I'm going to go... Valley Girl? Oh, shit, I can feel it. Settle down. I'm probably to go 87, you said, right? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go. Valley Girl? Oh, shit. I can feel it. Settle down.

I'm probably totally wrong, but I'll do negative one name. No. Yeah. You can't be counting him, so I'll do one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Name that movie. I mean, technically two, because we know he's in it. I think we all understand what you mean.

What's the name of the movie? Does Nicolas Cage have to be in this movie? Name of the movie? Yeah. Cage have to be in this movie? Raising Arizona. And whose second build? Holly Hunter. I'm just kidding. It's Holly Hunter and Nicolas Cage.

Raising Arizona. We have our third champion for our tournament of champions. It would be Matt Bronger against versus for our Tournament of Champions will be Matt Bronger against versus it's okay, Dana, you're still a very accomplished player and Scott Aukerman, Hall of Fame player with that negative two names.

Thank you. Yeah, right? It was impressive. I thought the Doors was great balls of fire. When you saw it? Yes. I was really highors was great balls of fire. When you saw it? Yes. I was really high when I saw it, too. Bill Graham, who was a consultant on the movie The Doors,

the legendary concert promoter Bill Graham, said, and I was in his company because he also owned the punchline in San Francisco. Were you in the helicopter when he died? I was. I was. I was. I came back from the dead because I was trilining the Walnut Creek punchline the following week. Trilining.

With D'Allen Moss and Alex Reed. No, but he said, although he was a paid consultant. Is this story less than 15 minutes? Well, if you'll let me get to the line. It was just funny. He was a paid consultant on the movie. He goes, all of us don't. You've got to get a whole fucking decade wrong.

60. You get the whole thing wrong. How do you get a whole fucking decade wrong. Sikti, you've got the whole thing wrong. How do you get a whole fucking decade wrong? That's what I want to know. You didn't even get something right by accident. You've got the whole fucking thing wrong. Wow. Wow. May he rest in peace.

God love him. He was the world's foremost Gary Marshall impersonator, wasn't he? Yes, he was. Yes, he was. No, there's a new one in town. His name is Paul Tompkins. We have for you, my friend, winner, Andrew, you win a copy of Dana Gould's

The Veteran Comedian's First Ever DVD directed by Bob Odenkirk. It's called Let Me Put My Thoughts In You, and I'm sure that's available on Amazon and whatnot. Did you bring one, Matt? I forgot to bring one because he doesn't smoke as much pot as I do. He'll hook you up with a copy of Soak Up the Night.

And Scott Aukerman will also be in touch to give you. What are you going to give him? I'll give you one of our new Enigma Force 5 t-shirts from Comedy Death Ray Radio. Earwolf.com. Yeah. Nice. Those are going to be nice. And you also win a Two Trunk to Tweet t-shirt.

And I throw the winning items. I throw the winning items. I throw the items. You get a copy of a poster for my new CD Doug Benson Hypocritical Oaf coming out

plopping on August 31st. Could you just could you do a poster just like that but where you're hugging E.T. The old Michael Jackson.

There is in another picture inside the album there's a stuffed bear hovering over my shoulder but that photograph was taken by Robin Von Swank, who is awesome. She also did the Comedy Death Ray calendars. And so if you have any reason to get some photographed in Los Angeles,

get in touch with her. And do you guys have anything you want to plug before we go? This is Scott Aukerman. Things coming up? Earwolf.com, our new website for Comedy Death Ray Radio and also Sklarbro Country. Yeah, you can listen to both of those shows there, and you'll be adding shows. Adding new shows.

Yeah, we've got a bunch of stuff coming up that we're very excited about. All right, that's Earwolf.com. It's like Airwolf, but if you completely misspelled air, two out of the three letters. Matt Bronger, what do you got coming up? Just every Monday, I host a radio show called Matt's Radio with Matt Dwyer, and we always have A comedian guest on And or a musician We play some tunes

And it's fun So tune in to What's it called again? Matt Radio? Yeah Matt's Radio dot com Matt's Radio dot com And podcasts on iTunes and stuff

And I was going to Maybe be a guest on there I'd still like to I would love it At some point in the future Who are we playing for Over here? For her?

Yes, Lauren And Dana Gould What do you got? I'm hosting the Oscars this year. Wow. Okay, wow. All right, an interesting choice. I'm finding out who they want me to call shithead at the end of the show

because that's the second and third prize for playing in our game. You really don't have anything coming up you want to promote? It's all pending. I'll be performing at Comedy Death Ray In about 25 minutes Stick around Come on down If it's Inception you could do it

Because you could dream you were here Thanks a lot to the players For the very exciting Leonard Maltin Tournament of Championships Thank you Doug Let me be the first to say thank you. And as always, Jimmy Pardo is a

shithead. Dana Gould is a shithead. Oh my bullshit. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold,

his viewing prowess makes it cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.