Doug Loves Movies - Scott Aukerman, Sean Cullen, Jake Johannsen, and Tony Thaxton Guest
Episode Date: June 7, 2012Doug welcomes comedians Scott Aukerman, Sean Cullen, and Jake Johannsen to the show, along with Motion City Soundtrack drummer Tony Thaxton....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy ...and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug Loves Movies Woo-hoo! Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
on Tuesday, June 5th, to Ocean's 12.
And that was the version of the song that was created by Motion City Soundtrack a while back.
And they have a new record coming out next
Tuesday I think it's called go and so I thought it'd be fun to play their music
on the show tonight since last I spoke and you listened I saw a moonrise
kingdom yeah the latest from writer-director Wes Anderson. And when I say that I loved it,
I should also say that I love the work of Wes Anderson.
Even parts of Darjeeling Limited.
Here's something to make the movie even more fun for you when you see it.
Pretend while watching it that the little girl at the center of the story,
pretend that she's a young Lana Del Rey.
the little girl at the center of the story.
Pretend that she's a young Lana Del Rey.
Now it's time for WTNT.
The number one movie in the country is SWATH,
which I haven't seen, but Leonard Maltin calls putrid.
The number two movie is MIB3,
which I did see, and it isn't putrid.
So see MIB3, not SWH, this has been WTNT.
I'm introducing a new feature on the show tonight. Each night that I remember to do it,
I'm going to contribute a DVD into the movie bag that is like, this is something that I recommend.
into the movie bag that is like this is something that I recommend.
I'm going to call it
Doug Digs It and it will be
a prize and a recommendation at the
same time and then you can
everyone can tweet me if they agree that it's a good movie
and don't if you don't.
Tickets are on sale now
to see me and David Huntsberger
at the Funny Bone in Toledo, Ohio
on Saturday and Sunday, August 4th and 5th
both shows at 420. Both shows with some Leonard Ball's game at the funny bone in toledo ohio on saturday and sunday august 4th and 5th both shows at 4 20. both shows with some leonard both balls game at the end now it's time for not for
metaphobes i haven't seen it but at buffalo gal 42 on twitter says that piranha 3dd is not for
a metaphobes this has been not for a metaphobe.
Los Angeles friends, I'm taping The Benson Interruption number 16 at Meltdown Comics on Thursday, June 14th
with very special, special people.
And I'm also going to be doing Douglas Movies there
with special guests on Monday, June 25th.
So go to Nerdist.com for tickets to those.
The prize bag, oh oh it's crazy some weeks you know people forget to bring stuff and
then there's this week where people brought stuff serious amounts of stuff
so I will start it off by saying my the most exciting prize in this bag and in
banks for weeks to come will be the latest
Motion City soundtrack,
including its vinyl, but then
included in it is also the CD
for people that
really listen to the CD and just want
the vinyl because they think it's cool to have.
So, yeah.
That's great that we have that.
We have a Toronto Maple Leafs
hat.
We have a Toronto Maple Leafs hat. Yeah.
We have a copy of Bringing Down the House.
This is not Doug Diggs it.
This is somebody with a sense of humor showed up.
These are movies that I, two movies, these movies I do dig,
but these are not part of that.
People brought movies.
Someone's going home with a bunch of movies.
DVDs of Blade Runner and The Big Lebowski.
One of which could be used as a letter B in ABCD's nuts.
One of which cannot.
And also a copy of Sleepy Hollow, which is, you know.
It's got some good parts.
CDs by one of the people
that's going to be up here
a DVD
oh a Wild Kingdom
Mutual of Omaha's
the African Wild
this gentleman right here
participated in it
we have a beautiful
Doug Loves Movies t-shirt
which are available of course at DougLoves Movies t-shirt,
which are available, of course,
at DougLovesMovies.com.
And we have another shirt that says,
oh, what is this?
It says,
I Heart Podcasts on it.
Okay.
We've got a spirit hoodie
for anyone
who's thinking about becoming a furry
but doesn't want to jump in completely, just wants to have a furry head and then
gloves that you have to be exactly the right size. Like, why would I? Yeah.
Oh, yeah, there it is.
What?
Why?
Hey, what's up?
Hey, what's going on?
Yeah.
It's my spirit hood.
It's my spirit animal.
So I'm giving it up.
I'm giving it away.
It was given to me by some people from a magazine.
Now I can't remember the name of the magazine,
so it's not even working as a plug for them so they'll write to me
on Twitter
and tell me I fucked up
and then
Doug digs it
as a copy of
Young Frankenstein
yeah
and then some dude
came up to me recently
and was just like
hey give away
a bunch of this stuff
and it's like some books
and shit
and I'm like
so these aren't endorsed
by me in any way
so I don't know
how great of a plug
this is gonna to be.
But you're going to get Notes from the Night,
A Life After Dark by Taylor
Plimpton.
Yeah. And the
man behind the nose, Larry
Bozo Harmon.
A book by
Bozo, I guess, about being
Bozo. Yeah.
So, go Bozo. Okay. being Bozo yeah so go Bozo okay if you say so all right let's
get them out here the people that contributed all this great stuff all
three previous guests one new guests all dudes whose work I admire I'm just trying to remember who
there was a name I replaced out of one of these
because they couldn't make it
and the new, so I gotta figure out.
Yeah, you guys know what's going on.
Please welcome Tony Thaxton, Jake Johansson,
Sean Cullen, and Scott Aukerman.
Hey.
Hello, Erica.
Let Sean sit on the very end there.
Can we get an extra chair for his son?
Sean's son is here.
Here we go.
Where did he go?
There's Sean.
Where's your son at?
Okay, we're going to give him a seat right here.
And you guys down
on the end over there. You guys can share
a microphone.
Because this is the craziest coincidence.
Dave Foley does the show.
He has his daughter with him.
On a whim, I say, let's involve her
in the show. It's a great show.
Everybody loves it. Now, all
people do is hound me about, have other
comics bring their kids on the show.
And I was like, no, I don't want to do that.
It worked once.
It was like lightning in a bottle.
And then you show up with your kid.
Another Canadian comedian shows up with his child.
How old is Hamish?
Hamish is three years old.
No, liar!
You're lying about him.
How old are you?
Eleven.
Eleven, all right.
So he's got two years
on Alina Foley.
Yeah, she's...
So he's probably gonna...
She has no life experience.
Nine-year-olds
know nothing about life.
Eleven-year-olds,
what do you know?
Stuff.
Yeah!
Yeah, see,
he's already figured it out.
When she was asked that same question, she went off about polar bears.
And he's like, what he's into, he's just keeping to himself.
It's a smart move.
Yeah, that's right.
I like it.
Psychotropic drugs.
So welcome, and the two of you can, you know, play together as a team down there.
Yeah, yeah.
That's right.
Oh, are you going to be the Sam Levine of this episode?
Oh, excuse me.
Yay!
He got really upset that I was letting the young girl beat him.
It was hilarious.
Hey, I'm cool with whatever.
I'm upset I hired a babysitter.
I could have bought my own.
How old is your child?
Eight.
Oh, okay.
She's fierce.
She's a fierce competitor.
All right.
Well, you know, people, if they keep begging for it, you know, if Hamish knocks it out of the park tonight,
and people keep begging for, you know, having more kids on the show, then we'll do it.
I'm willing to have a baby.
Just to get back on the show.
Just to be on the show.
Okay.
You could have a show called Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Movies.
All right, let's get an example.
Hamish, what's your favorite movie?
Hot Fuzz.
They will surprise you.
They will pull a good one out of their...
The porn version, right?
Yes.
He has no reaction to poker player do you play any cards well Jake Johansson's here for the first time, everybody, and he brought a comedy DVD called I Love You.
Yeah, I'm in that.
I'm in that.
It's only me.
I'm the only person in it.
Yeah, just you saying stuff.
Very funny, I imagine.
Yeah, take my word for it.
Yeah, and thanks for doing the show.
Now, you've actually listened to the show, so you feel like you'll be competitive in the games?
I like the idea that you can win
by sitting next to someone who made a mistake.
If you fly coach,
you're always sitting next to someone who made a mistake.
So now I can win by doing that.
Yeah, it's kind of like being Gerald Ford.
How can you come to our country with your goddamn Maple Leafs hat?
Four years too late.
That was Scott Aukerman, everybody,
whose new show,
Comedy Bang Bang,
is going to be on the IFC Network
starting tonight. Tonight, if you're listening to this on the IFC Network starting tonight.
Tonight if you're
listening to this on Friday.
In the past if you're
listening to it
any time after that.
But every Friday at 10.
I hope people will
listen to it
as well as watch it.
Forgot it was a TV show
for a second.
Might be fun to just
listen to it.
It might be.
Try to guess what's happening.
Let's try it, yeah.
Although the visuals
are quite fun
of what I've seen.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Just dishing out the compliments tonight.
Thanks, buddy.
Can't wait to hear.
I haven't heard this.
The new record by Emotion City Soundtrack.
I assume it's going to be amazing.
Thank you.
I haven't read any of Sean's books.
I'm sure they're very entertaining for that audience.
You've had lots of opportunities.
Does your son read your books?
Have you read my books?
All of them, yes.
All of them, yes.
Is Hamish in Hamish's text?
I was forced to read them.
I was sleep-taught them.
You're like hanging over the edge of the bed like Kathy Bates with a big...
I'm your biggest fan!
It's like he's trying to be the opposite of the bed like Kathy Bates with a big... I'm your biggest fan! It's like he's trying
to be the opposite of you.
Yeah.
This is what happens.
This man will probably
be a pilot
or something like that.
He's super casual.
Yeah, you know,
he's not even got
long pants.
Can we see some IDs?
Is this really...
My son?
It would be weird
if you just pulled
some kid in off the street.
This is no child. Pretend to be Hamish.
This is a very immature
man. Well,
he's read the books. I wrote one of them.
The series is called Hamish X and the Cheese Pirates.
I wrote them for him. So, three
of those. And then I have another son named Brandon.
I've written two books for him. And then
another one for my daughter, Cleopatra.
But if she were on the show, she'd probably urinate.
She's only...
More than I do.
She will...
I've got another question for Hamish.
Yep.
When are you going to change your last name to X?
Because it's cooler than Cullen.
No offense.
Vampires are cool.
He's thinking about it.
Don't worry about it.
We'll totally cut this part out.
And edit point.
Oh, thank you very much.
Yeah, you gotta have that quiet in the room.
It's crucial.
But you said edit point.
So that's not quiet.
So you'll have...
Oh, it was quiet right before he said it
and right after he said it and right after
he said it oh so we could use either of them well we have to use before he said
you see after one I wouldn't mind that I like to be truthful when I edit stuff
out yeah it's like just as truthful as someone shouting remix over a song.
I'm going to shout it too.
Edit point!
So, have you been to the movies lately?
Have I introduced Tony Thaxton officially?
If I said he's sitting here and he's with us?
It's alright, I'm a lowly musician.
Drummer even.
Yeah, the lowest.
No, I just mean in terms of the person you expect to hear from the least in the band.
Ringo ruined it for all drummers.
I just happen to be the guy that lives in LA.
Yeah, because the rest of the band is in Minneapolis
and elsewhere.
We're spread out.
You're going to be out on tour again soon?
Yeah, the new record comes out on the 12th.
We'll be on tour right away after that.
We're actually playing Amoeba the day that it comes out, and then Troubadour Friday,
and then everywhere else after that.
That's awesome.
And I am very excited to say that it looks like maybe a couple songs from this album
are going to be in Greatest Movie Ever Rolled.
So thank you very much for that.
It's pretty exciting.
One at a very crucial,
exciting point in the film, even.
So it's pretty cool.
Is it where you commit suicide?
Very good guess!
Super good guess.
But I can't give away what happens
because it is at the end.
That's the part you least want to give away
when promoting a film.
Have you seen anything lately, Scott?
I saw Moonrise Kingdom, which I loved.
One dude loved it as well.
We should be bros.
It's only in like four theaters
across the country or something like that.
It's quite limited.
It's an exclusive club.
Oh, I'm in that club.
I saw it as well and I enjoyed it.
It's about 40 minutes in.
I realized I shouldn't have been wearing
the 3D glasses.
It has some natural depth, all of his compositions,
so I was fooled for quite a while.
I shouldn't have been wearing shorts,
because there's a scene on the beach where...
Oh, you like that scene.
It's a bit of a trivia that the movie only released in four cinemas,
but it still beat, in revenue,
Piranha 3DD.
Piranha 3DD made about $138,000
in wide release,
and in four cinemas,
Moonrise Kingdom made $500,000,
or something like that.
Were we allowed to bring our own trivia?
I thought I was responsible for it.
I just did a podcast.
And I forgot mine.
I bought that from a podcast I did this morning.
Oh, okay.
With Graham Elwood.
Oh, yeah.
I thought it was shocking and exciting.
A movie about, the movie about, sponsored by the Knights of Columbus called The Greater Glory made more.
It was about a Mexican war
against atheists
in 1920. That made more
than Piranha Triple A.
Is Andy Garcia in that?
Yes. You don't know that for sure.
I'm pretty sure he is.
I'm pretty sure he is.
Have you seen
Moonrise Kingdom, Tony?
No.
I was actually supposed to go Saturday, and then it fell through.
So I want to.
That's what happens when you live in Los Angeles.
You're supposed to go see something, and then it falls through.
Yes.
People in other cities don't say that.
They're just like, haven't seen it yeah my girlfriend saw it and loved it yeah she wanted
to go again because she liked it so much but then we didn't go i'd see it again i think i'd see it
again with your girlfriend yeah so yeah so did you so so in lieu of that, have you seen something?
Yesterday we saw Bernie.
I like Bernie.
Yeah, I liked it.
Yeah.
I didn't love it, but I liked it.
I thought there was, you know, a few moments that felt a little draggy,
but overall I liked it, and I had never heard the story before because it's based on a true story, I guess.
Yeah, when I saw it, I didn't know it was a true story.
And so as it unfolded,
it started to feel more and more true
because they have so many scenes
where they interview people
that seem to really have been involved in what happened.
Yeah, were those people real or not?
Yeah, those were all real people.
I wasn't sure.
I know one of them was a hologram.
There was no CGI.
But it's a quirky, funny story.
But Jack Black really commits to it.
Yeah, he was great.
And McConaughey's funny in it, too.
And I liked it.
I liked it.
I want to know what Jake saw.
I'm in big trouble.
I'm just realizing that this is a show about movies.
I saw...
I did see...
I saw Salmon Fishing in...
Wait, wait, wait. I saw it on a plane.
Oh, okay, because I was going to say, you were setting it up like
you never get to see movies.
But you did see Salmon Fishing
in the Yemen. What's that about?
I did see it. It's about...
Believe it or not, that is what
it's about. It's about salmon fishing.
It's about, that's
supposed to be like a way to get positive
publicity for the Yemen
Is that sort of what's going on?
I think that was the sheik's idea
was that he was going to use that to benefit
his people. These are his words, not mine
Yeah, yeah, and that British lady
is in it, you know, the English patient
lady
Sean
Oh, I know what you mean
Is it Sean Cullen?
That's the one She was in it Oh, she has three names mean. Cullen. Cullen? Is it Charlotte Cullen? Yes, that's the one.
She was in it.
Oh, she has three names that are all men's names.
Scott Thomas.
Yes, Kristen Scott Thomas.
Kristen Scott Thomas.
She's in it, man.
It's named Kristen.
It is.
Kristen is a man's name for a really gay man from Britain.
Scott Thomas or...
Okay, so Jake, you're going to stick with that answer?
Well, I saw...
What else did I see in the theater? I saw a lockout.
Do you even know about that?
You really...
I was on the road.
In a play or in a theater, you go out of your way
to not see the mainstream fare.
I went to go see that because I was on the road
and I had to go see a movie that my wife won't get mad at me
because I went to see, even though we never go see movies because you have to hire a babysitter although
I guess you don't always have to hire a babysitter you can just bring your kid along to whatever you
want to do but that was a movie you know guy only if your babies you know my baby well he's quite
independent and powerful as a baby and your baby is obviously a weakling that needs to stay at home
and be coddled by someone.
She has to be constantly watched.
Just be quiet.
It's only traffic noise.
Lie down.
We make her lie down the whole time.
We tape her down.
Sweet.
We can't get a sitter.
We just tape her down.
That's it.
Yeah, those are my two movies.
We watched Enchanted, my daughter and I.
That's another movie that is exciting and been out forever.
I'd see that again.
With your daughter.
I'm going to have to tape you down.
I'm into it.
Does anyone hunger for games?
No one asked me what movie I saw.
No one asked me.
Does no one care?
We asked Hamish though, right?
What was the last movie you saw?
Transformers 3.
Transformers 3, but I guess it was on video, right? Yeah, on TV or something. What? Were there Transformers 3 Transformers 3 but I guess it was on video right?
yeah on TV or something
were there Transformers in it?
yes 3
that's all you need
what if that was just about
how many Transformers
were in the movie
so all of a sudden it's followed by the sequel
Transformers 13.
Because there were 13 of them.
I went to see Snow White and the Huntsman
yesterday. You did?
I did. It was marvelous.
For reals? No, not really.
Well, no.
I mean,
here's my biggest problem with a huntsman.
When you're a huntsman,
you hunt, right?
That's your living, right?
Sure.
So why is your weapon...
You go out in the woods to hunt.
You take an axe?
Who hunts with an axe?
No one hunts with an axe.
You have to get quite close to your prey
to hunt with an axe.
I saw a preview of Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter.
But they're coming at you.
They're coming at you.
The vampires are coming at you,
and you swing your axe and kill them.
Deer see you from a distance and smell you
and then run away.
They're a little skittish if you go,
come over here.
I'm caught at axe.
It's not the way you hunt animals, really.
Axing them.
I'm just axing you. If that's what you hunt animals, really. Axing them. I'm just axing you.
If that's what you...
Hello, Grandpa!
Anyway, phone me.
So does that mean you recommend or don't recommend the movie?
Based on the whole axing thing?
No, I mean, I can't really say anything
without giving away the story.
It's no white.
But, you know, it was
fine. I can't say,
if you want to see women
completely still, yet still
crying, thinking
why is
the fate of a woman
too hard to
bear, I'm going to start
just dribbling tears slowly
and then kill someone
that's generally what's happening and I not so much not so much for me it was
good though really good excellent I'd say go see it let's play some games okay
now sorry I didn't mean to make your to the side. You made your piece. You said what you had to say.
I did it.
Crying statues.
Crying statues returns after this message.
Edit point.
Alright, um...
So, what do you guys want to play? We don't have time for all the games.
Let's ask first time guest, Jakeake johansson would you rather
play would you play build a title or abcd's nuts i think build a title abcd's nuts
it's not a game i just tried to get you to say it you could have just asked i would have said that
yeah i'll play let's play the bill that's-title. That's a newer game in which Sean Cullen thinks that the movie Zardoz began with an X,
and I fell for it somehow.
That wasn't what this game...
I'm taking one point off for that.
Oh, I didn't know there were points.
There aren't. It's like, whose line is it anyway?
It doesn't matter when the guy adds up to points at the end.
Okay, so we'll play build-a-title, because Jake knows how to play that one. And we'll start with Jake and then go to Tony, Sean, Scott.
Oh, boy.
And so your first title, Jake, is Home Alone 3.
Home Alone 3 Musketeers.
Suggested by Alan P. Williams.
Okay, Home Alone 3 Musketeers.
Yeah, that's very good.
Tony Thaxton.
I wanted to play this game so bad,
and I feel like it's already...
You're already out?
Yeah, let's see.
Oh.
Yeah, Musketeers is a hard starter.
It's a compound word, though.
Yes, compound word.
That's the way to say it to people without giving it away.
But can you say homonyms?
It has to be the same spelling, right?
I'm always having trouble with this game.
Are homonyms okay?
Just let Hamish play. Homonyms okay let Hamish play homonyms
Brett Hamish or homonyms all right no he's not interested he doesn't care you
got anything Tony ends in home or I'm so mad at myself
my tears all right okay so Tony's out
sorry I literally played that in the van
on tour for years
and I was waiting for this moment
and it's gone
is it me now?
stealing home
stealing home alone
three musketeers
yes very good
Scott Aukerman
comedy bang bang
tonight at 10 if today is Friday Very good. Scott Aukerman. Boo. Comedy Bang Bang.
Stealing Home.
If today is Friday.
10pm.
Followed by Bum.
Stealing Home, Alone,
Three Musket...
Tears of a Clown?
Oh.
I don't believe that's a film.
I do believe it's a song.
And I'm positive that you're out.
Ah.
Yeah.
This is serious.
So we're back to Jake.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
You started this mess.
Stealing Home Alone, Three Musketeers of Heaven?
Is that it?
Another song.
The audience member is correct that that is a song.
Another song.
Tears in Heaven would be the Eric Clapton.
Would you know my name?
Oh, here we go.
If you fell out of a window.
Wait a minute.
Too soon.
While I wasn't paying attention.
I thought Scott was going to pull that trigger eventually.
Sorry.
That he wants to watch a movie with Eric Clapton's son.
Stealing Home Alone
3, Musketeers
of the Sun.
Cheers of the
Sun. But he already won.
He already won. I know, but I thought I'd throw
one in just to be an a-hole.
Yeah.
Salt meet wound.
Alright, so that means Sean
You get to go first
In the Leonard Maltin game
And Leonard Maltin game
Means it's time to see
Some name tags
In the audience
Oh there's a giant
Tootsie pop thing
Or something
And that looks delicious
But I don't get to pick
There's a Yogi Bear
Yogi Bear poster
Or back of a trade magazine
There's some sort of Andrew has some sort of Thing of candies That guy's giving up His iPhone A B-Barrett poster or back of a trade magazine.
There's some sort of, Andrew has some sort of thing of candies. That guy's giving up his iPhone.
It's foolishness.
Yeah, yeah, go grab whichever one you want to play for.
Who do you want to play for, Sean?
Okay.
There's some big ones back there.
Yeah, I'm just going to go here.
This maraca.
Oh, it's a maraca.
No, it's a tootsie pop.
Is it?
Yeah, that's what I thought it was.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of that one?
Ow!
Sorry.
Sorry.
You're doing dirty physical humor in front of your own child.
Well, you know, he has to learn sometimes.
There should be a square bucket for that kind of behavior.
A square bucket?
A swear bucket. There should be a square bucket for that kind of behavior. A square bucket? A swear bucket.
There should be a square bucket for that.
No, I pre-insisted that the bucket be square.
My swear bucket is square.
The bucket is important.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
Buckets are not square.
Do they get to keep that, the name tag?
Okay, and whose name is scrawled on it somewhere?
It is Mr. Pop?
No.
Oh, well, now we'll never know how many licks it takes. Whose name is scrawled on it somewhere? It is Mr. Pop? No.
Oh, well, now we'll never know how many licks it takes.
Ken Roberts.
Little Ken.
You've got to love any candy that stands
on its side like that
and thrown on the ground.
Oh!
You know it's really natural good.
Thank you. I'm here all week
There we go
Alright
So that's
Sean
No
What's the guy's name
Ken
Ken
Okay
Ken
I'm gonna write it down
because I don't even
want to look over there
Tony
who are you playing for
Eric
with a Yogi Bear poster
because why not
I guess Yogi Ber poster, because why not?
I guess that's Yogi Beric, I guess, what that would make that.
Oh, okay.
Three Derek.
Is it Derek? Good things come in bears named Eric.
Is it Derek?
Three Derek?
Oh, his name is Derek, so he's saying 3D Eric.
He's like playing Build a Title badly on the poster.
But thank you, Eric, for... I mean, Derek.
I like Eric.
E-R-E-K.
And who are you playing for, Jake?
Takura.
Takura Matata.
That's a craft project.
That's crafty.
Lion King.
And Scott, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Rick, whose name tag is this Rick D's record, Put It Where the Moon Don't
Shine, which I had when I was a kid, so I immediately went over to it.
And this is an amazing record.
It's got Rockwell.
He has a duet with Rockwell, singer of Somebody's Watching Me, for this three-month period that he was famous in.
But let's say somebody told you to put it where the sun don't shine
like a few minutes earlier before Rick said put it where the moon don't shine.
Wouldn't there be no room then?
Because isn't it pretty much the same?
Like why did Rick Dees, is that his clever twist on putting where the sun don't shine
to putting where the moon don't shine?
Like, ha, I've got a new angle on this.
Another place that can't see up your butthole.
But I don't understand the premise, really.
If you're saying that your ass is already full of something,
was it the sun you were talking about?
No, the thing that you're supposed to put where it doesn't shine. Oh, I see. So you're already full of something. Was it the sun you were talking about? No, the thing that you're supposed to put
where it doesn't shine. Oh, I see.
So you're already full. Of something.
Like that thing that you keep
miming.
It's like the worst vacuum cleaner
in the world. I don't know.
I do a lot of prop stuff.
I really do.
Alright. Who are you playing for?
Rick. His name's Rick also?
His name is Rick, yeah.
Okay.
Danny Gans did backing vocals on this, apparently.
Danny Gans?
Too soon.
Oh.
Too soon.
Still won Entertainer of the Year.
Yeah.
This year.
Yeah, you got a lot of...
Still won.
You won it posthumously.
Yeah, a lot of write-in votes.
They give it to you for about three years after you pass away.
Out of respect?
Yeah.
Yeah, you just keep getting it.
This includes the hit single.
Yeah, Get Naked and Eat My Shorts.
Both of those are on this one.
Yeah.
But if you're naked, you don't have shorts on, do you?
I guess you've given them to someone and they can eat them now.
I think you've got to have those in the right order.
Yeah, Get Naked by Eating My Shorts. He's a beautiful man, too. I guess you've given them to someone and they can eat them now. You've got to have those in the right order. Get naked by eating my shorts.
He is a beautiful man, too.
It's recommended for adult listening.
That's not for kids.
You don't want kids hearing something like that.
Hamish, don't listen.
If you're into adult listening, this is the record for you.
If you have an adult-like capacity
to listen,
you don't have child ears.
I think it probably would take a lot of patience
to get through this whole thing.
I loved it when I was a kid.
Children would not know it was going to end,
so they might become panicked.
They might go, when is this ending?
And if you're an adult, you're like, this has to
end sometime, and you're fine., you're like, this has to end sometime.
And you're fine.
You're not distressed by that.
Hamish knows about endings, though, right?
Yeah, you know about how things end.
How do things end?
Are we still talking about Danny Gantz? I don't know what he's talking about.
Is this how you're explaining death? Did you like Danny Gantz, Hamish? Did you like Danny Gans? I don't know what he's talking about. Is this how you're explaining death?
Did you like Danny Gans, Hamish?
Did you like Danny Gans?
Did you think he was a great performer?
Jesus, this kid is terrible.
It's terrible.
This is the last time you're on this show.
Last time, Hamish.
I put a lot of pressure on him.
It was unfair to do that. No, he should learn. This time, Hamish. I put a lot of pressure on him. It was unfair to do that.
No, he should learn.
This is how kids learn.
All right, Sean,
you get to go first.
Okay.
We're probably just going
to play one round.
This is going to be
to the death right here
because we're running
out of time.
But we're having fun.
That's what matters.
I think we are.
I think we are.
So you get to choose from the following categories, Sean.
Would you like At Dorsch 1 suggested Fakespear?
And that's movies that are, you know,
taken from Shakespeare in some way.
They're ripping off Shakespeare somehow.
Because, you know, it's private domain.
somehow. Okay.
Because, you know, it's private domain.
Or at kstreets00
suggests ghost
Frodo call.
And that's movies where Elijah Wood
dies.
Or at
tycostill
suggested Prometheus.
Prometheus.
That's movies that take place, that have a prom in them.
Prometheus.
Well, let's go Fakespear.
Oh, you're so fancy.
We'll go to Scott after Sean.
Two stars from Leonard
from this movie
from the year 2000
to Ocean's Eleven
is when this movie came out
he says
about it that
it is a
it's cute
he also says that it is sometimes clever.
And he says that this, but never develops its story and characters as fully as one might like.
Can I guess it?
No, you have to play the game.
I'm going to tell you how many names are in the movie, and then you're going to tell me how many names you think you can get it in.
All right.
And you know all about zero and negative.
You know how to do it.
Yeah.
You went negative four on Star Trek The Voyage Home,
one of the first times you played this.
Yes.
And got it right.
And then since then, I always have to explain to you how negative names work.
You're like the Benjamin Button of game shows.
You get more feeble the longer you do them.
When does the show start?
Until you're finally going to be a baby.
What?
When does the show start?
Edit point!
Thank you.
Here are your names.
Here's the number of names.
Oh.
There are your names. Here's the number of names. Oh. There are 15 names.
How many names do you think you can name?
So it's from the bottom.
You're saying?
Yes.
I'm going to say zero.
Okay, he says zero.
Not unexpected, considering how excited he was to just name it.
Can you clarify the category for me?
Are these?
It's called Fakespeare
because somebody took a Shakespeare property
and then did their own version of it.
And this particular one is cute,
sometimes clever,
but it never develops its story and characters
as fully as one might like.
And it's from 2011.
Did their own version of it,
meaning did a take on it, meaning, did a
take on it, or they just did a version of
a Shakespeare play? I can discuss
it no further.
They adapted it. They adapted it.
It's an adaptation of a Shakespeare play.
Yes.
And what are Shakespeare's plays? Can you name any of them?
Let me tell you a few that it's not.
It's not The Tempest.
Okay, good.
It's not...
Don't do that.
Oh, sorry.
He only has so many plays.
You're just so confident that I'm enjoying this.
All right, I may be totally wrong,
and then we'll all laugh.
From last year.
Yeah, you might be.
You might be wrong.
I'm going to have to say name that movie, Sean.
I know you can.
Is it Gnomeo and Juliet?
That is correct.
Oh! I'm going to have to say name that movie, Sean. I know you can. Is it Gnomeo and Juliet? That is correct.
Taking it down and you have an aptitude for it, but don't understand it.
And this is the second time now that you've done a movie
in zero or less names and qualified for the next tournament of championships.
Jeez.
And I forgot to, I wasn't paying attention,
but Hamish just whispered that answer to you, right?
Oh, you didn't know that.
No, Hamish doesn't know anything.
Did you?
You don't know.
Did you see Romeo and Juliet?
No.
It was quite cute.
McAvoy and who else was in it?
Yeah, who was he?
McAvoy was number one if he had to go negative one.
He was the main
he was no Mio, I think.
Cuba Gooding Jr.? No.
But Jason Statham was in it as an
angry gnome. He plays
Mercutio in it?
Sure. You know more about it
than anyone in this room.
Michael Caine, all the music's from Elton John.
You're the local expert.
It's good. On No Mio and Elton John. You're the local expert.
It's good.
I enjoyed it more than two stars.
Ozzy Osbourne was in it?
Dolly Parton? Hulk Hogan?
Yes.
Undercutting all your arguments.
Jason Statham was in it.
There's probably a scene where a young lady gets thrown in the truck of a car.
That's right.
And he says, get in there and be quiet. There's probably a scene where a young lady gets thrown in the truck of a car. That's right.
And he says, get in there and be quiet.
Don't make a sound.
I'm going to take off my shirt and punch some people out.
Do not talk anymore.
If I hear one more word out of you, I'm taking off my shirt and punching some people out.
How did the Nomeo and Juliet theme song go?
Well, they do Kiki Dee and Don't go breaking my heart
That song. Yeah.
You don't remember the words?
I can't live without trying
Oh honey if I get restless
Baby you're not that type Ooh-hoo
Nobody knows
And nobody knows
Right from the start
I give you my heart
Ooh-hoo
I give you my heart
Boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Hamish is not impressed at all.
He's just like, more of this shit.
He's disappointed more than anything.
I gotta hear this.
This situation too.
You'll grow into it.
You'll understand when their time comes. Does he sing? Is he a singer?
Do you sing?
No, he plays the flute.
Have you met him before?
Do you know him?
I do know him, but I don't see him as much as I'd like to
because he lives here and I live in a special cube.
I'm not allowed visitors.
Because I have magnetic powers.
He's angry at me now.
Okay, so that gentleman,
whose name I already forgot again
because it's not really...
Ken.
His name is Ken.
He's from Houston, Texas.
Ken won.
Ken is our winner.
Come get your bag.
Yay!
It's a pleasure.
There you go dude
There can be only one
There you go
No no I'm good thanks
What did he say?
Do you need any pictures of him wearing that?
No I don't want to wear it ever again
And I apologize for wearing it at all
But at least it's going to really slide right onto your head.
Oh, no.
The best ball for the listeners at home.
Is that the king's hat tester?
Like, do you only test hats on?
Okay.
Looks good.
It's perfect for this weather.
It is.
I don't know if it's...
I assume it's fake fur.
They seem like those kind of people.
Bear.
Why would you call it a spirit hood and then
it'd be a real dead animal?
It'd be the spirit of that dead animal?
There's no spirit in acrylic.
There's no acrylic spirit.
It's brittle. Brittle
and sterile.
We gotta find out
who the shitheads are.
Because you didn't write one on the back of your precious album, of course.
So the guy with the Rick D's album.
Yeah, I don't think we have one here.
And no shitheads on the back of those either.
So everybody come up and just write down
somewhere on this piece of paper a shithead
for the end of the show.
Do you have any tour dates coming up, Jake?
I'm going somewhere.
People can go see you?
I can't remember even where I am.
I'm going
somewhere at the end of the month. You can go to my website and see that.
Scott gets
to keep the record, everybody. Thank you so much,
Rick.
Scott wants the shirt also.
Yeah.
And your girlfriend.
Oh my god.
He modeled for the clown. He looks like. Look at that shirt. Oh my God. He modeled for the clown liquor.
He looks like a tiny Wonder Bread truck.
A regular size human, but a tiny Wonder Bread truck.
Yeah.
I get it.
Yeah, you got it.
It's easy.
So, Call Me Bang Bang Friday for Scott. Friday. So,
Call Me Bang Bang Friday for Scott.
Friday. Please, everyone watch it this Friday.
We have Zach Galifianakis,
Will Forte, Tom Lennon,
Gillian Jacobs from Community, Andy Daly,
myself and Reggie Watts.
That's on tonight, or last night,
or next couple nights.
Every single week we have people you love on it.
Friday's at 10.
All summer long.
Sean.
What kind of plans, Sean, do you have with Hamish?
What are you guys going to do now?
Well, I'll probably, what we're going to do is probably get drunk and go out fist dancing.
I call it fist dancing.
Fist dancing?
Yeah.
It's basically fighting with people, but in an elegant way.
I call it the man dance.
And we get quite drunk.
Hamish is unbelievable.
And we fight, not each other, but other people.
We stand back to back in the middle of a public area
and just take on all comers.
And every once in a while we look over our shoulders at each other and wink.
And just keep going
until our arms
are bloody stumps
and then we go for ice cream.
That's usually, right?
Maybe.
Maybe, yeah.
Maybe it is.
He's very quiet.
He's noncommittal.
He's noncommittal.
He's afraid.
He's a fearful boy.
He's not sure. And I get it. fearful boy he's not sure and I get it
he has never been
to a show
I've ever done before
any kind of show ever?
you've never seen me
do a comedy show before
have you?
still hasn't
no he's seen me
I had to
you know
it was fun to say
it was a fun thing to say
I'll meet you
during the man fight
oh
no I yeah he's never been
to one that I thought this might be a good way but I guess I was wrong yes
this is horribly wrong so I saw him laugh a few times you had fun right yeah
yeah yeah just what we did your dad is very funny he's one of America's or
Canada's too but I mean he's one of my favorite comedians I really I really enjoy it thank you thanks very much for that Scott later later okay it's very nice of him
I can't believe that outfit has like practical pockets I just like to dress
up how do you not slide out of that chair?
Because I have incredible muscle control.
I can reach through the fabric
and clench onto hard surfaces.
I'm like a gecko.
Hamish is like,
oh, slippery black suit is coming back to town.
Well, he likes it,
because we go out,
and I have this completely frictionless room.
And he gets on my back, and we slide around.
It's amazing.
And we kind of break our record, because it's kind of got a concave floor that has no corners.
And how long is he going to slide, they shout.
And so it goes for hours and hours.
Sometimes he gets quite hungry, and we sometimes it gets quite hungry and we have
to order order food and i have to kind of slide towards it it's not all laughs when i press though
sometimes it's hard seancullen.com yeah seancullen.com and i, SeanCullen.com, and I write books, but I think you'd enjoy them, even if you are a grown person.
They are somewhat funny and intriguing.
And I have a podcast called The Sean Pot,
and you can listen to that on iTunes.
And hopefully this will be one of the rare appearances you've done on the show
where part or all of the show didn't get lost during the recording.
That's right.
The last time we did one up in Toronto
they were lost, but it was good
that it was lost, wasn't it?
It was a weird one.
It was not the finest.
You were at the height of not understanding how to play
Build a Title.
We argued about it for a long time.
Build a Title, and you let me get away with
the homonym
Tears of the Sun today today but the other day we were
playing and the game was aragon and i used uh what was the thing aragon with the wind or something
no no that i would have accepted that it was some little thing that ended in er and i said
never never and he said oh you can't do that yeah Yeah, yeah. I said, well, tears of a clown. No, tears of the sun is not spelled with two E's.
I don't care how it's spelled.
I do.
It seems like splitting hairs.
It's a sound game.
If I want to spell hairs, H-A-R-E-S.
Sorry.
It's a spoken game with sounds, not spellings.
I know, but,, but Thank you for playing
But I could have said Uragon
I don't know
Oh my god, these things we argue about
Can we get through them?
To a place of happiness
In my frictionless room, perhaps
You can come and slide with me
Come slide with me
Come slide, we'll slide away
You won You won.
You won tonight.
You got a Tootsie Pop.
I did.
You've got your son's
first experience
with you performing,
which that'll always be weird.
Yeah.
He'll always wonder
what I actually do.
What was going on that night,
Daddy?
Daddy.
Daddy,
why did we have to go
fight dance after that?
He's going to have a recovered memory on a talk show.
Tony Thackson, the new album's out next Tuesday.
Yeah, next Tuesday.
Go and get Go!
Yes.
Is that why you called it Go?
It's called Go.
Such a positive statement.
Yeah, it'll be out on the 12th.
We're playing Amoeba that day.
We'll be on tour right after that.
Tour dates at motioncitysoundtrack.com
at motioncitymusic on Twitter.
Ken is over there doing this
like he's on fucking Price is Right
with your album cover.
There's no cameras here, dude.
Oh, he even did it over his shoulder
for the people sitting behind him.
So when does the album come out?
June 12th.
So next Tuesday is go time. Boom. I like it. Pow! his shoulder for the people sitting behind him. When does the album come out? June 12th.
It's go time.
I like it.
Go time!
Go!
Get it!
What about Go Nuts?
On June 12th?
Go crazy on you!
Gonna go crazy
crazy on you. Gonna go crazy, crazy on you.
My people are driving insane.
Anyway, I'm not really in heart.
I'm just heavy enough to be in heart.
Thank you.
I'm not really in heart.
Sorry, got out of that one.
Did I ask everybody for their plugs?
Jake?
I have a website, jakethis.com.
You can go there.
Jake This.
Yeah, that way you don't have to spell my name.
Is it the same as Scarlett or different?
Different.
Spelling of Johansson.
I think she has one N and I have two Ns or something like that.
It would be so easy if you could say just like Scarlett.
I've tried to say that.
But you went with Jake.
It doesn't work. Jake this. That way you can spell it.
And Hamish, I like Jake Johansson
better than your dad. I just want you to know that.
Do you want to go watch a movie with my kid now?
Jake this dancing. That hurt. Do you want to go watch a movie with my kid now? Shake that.
That hurt.
All right, well, let's hear it for all these guys.
Hang on, I got to take the ceremonial picture at the end.
And I got to say, go to Douglovesmovies.com
for all your Douglovesmovies needs
and tour dates and all that stuff.
And as always, Disco Duck is a shithead.
Scott Walker, governor of Wisconsin, is a shithead.
And the people that don't watch Comedy Bang Bang tonight on IFC is a shithead.