Doug Loves Movies - Sean Cullen, Graham Elwood, and Christa Martin Guest

Episode Date: May 29, 2012

Live from Zanies Comedy Club in Nashville, TN, Doug welcomes comedians Sean Cullen and Graham Elwood and audience winner Christa Martin....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and ...California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, Good News, Bad News Edition. The bad news, the ep we taped last Monday was intended to be a premium ep that would plop next week, but there was a computer crash during the taping, so the first 20 minutes or so got lost. I blame one of my guests, Sean Cullen, for being cursed. He is a cursed man, because he was a guest in the last show that we lost up in Toronto last September. He is bad news, that guy. Hilarious bad news.
Starting point is 00:00:54 But the good news is that this is now a free ep. With a recap at the top by me that will last about 6-8 minutes. Marc Maron style. Also, the crowd wasn't mic'd to my, as much as I would like it to be, because it was a great crowd and they were on fire, and so keep that in mind while you're listening to it. We're trying to fix the audio to get them louder and more like how they really were on the day, because it was a really great crowd. I'm complaining, so you don't have to. So, I started the show, my name's Doug, blah, blah, blah, from Zany's Comedy Club in Nashville, Tennessee, on Monday, May 28th, to Ocean 12, Memorial Day observed, thank you to everyone who paid to be here.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Since last I spoke, you listened. I saw Men in Black 3, or as I like to call it, M-I-B-3-No-D-Ghost Protocol. More on that later. Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. At JP underscore Aaron, A-A-R-O-N tweeted,
Starting point is 00:02:07 Prometheus might be the greatest prequel since Super High Me. Big laughs, big laughs. Good job, JP. Underscore Aaron. This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies featuring me. Are any of you guys going to Bonnaroo this year? Look for my very special movie interruptions in the Cinema Tent on Thursday and Friday at 420 with awesome guests
Starting point is 00:02:31 that you can figure out who might be there by just looking at which comedians and musicians and filmmakers are at the festival that I might know. All of them have been on my podcast before. I think. Now it's time have been on my podcast before. I think. Now it's time for Watch This, Not That. And in this particular edition, I asked two women in the crowd to each name a movie.
Starting point is 00:02:53 The first one said Pulp Fiction. The second one said Gone with the Wind. I said I don't give a damn about Gone with the Wind. I've never even seen it. And so then I said, Watch Pulp Fiction, Not Gone with the Wind. This has never even seen it. And so then I said, watch Pulp Fiction, Not Gone with the Wind. This has been Watch This, Not That. Then I dug into the prize bag. There's lots of fun stuff in there.
Starting point is 00:03:12 A pig with a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey on it from Sean. One of his books. One of his several young adult books that sound very fun if you're into books that are for people that are younger than you. Some Skittles were in there from the green room at Zany's because they always have nice candy in the green room there. Appreciate that. A Doug Loves Movies t-shirt
Starting point is 00:03:35 which are always available at DougLovesMovies.com and at ASTRecords.com and Graham Elwood's stuff. A Palm Strike shirt and a Palm Strike Dance Party CD that you can get at ComedyFilmNerds.com. Krista, who was the audience winner, was the third person to be introduced on stage that day, Sean, Colin, Graham Elwood, and Krista Martin.
Starting point is 00:04:00 And she told us that she drove from Florence, Alabama about two and a half hours away. So she did that drive with her husband twice, there and back. And she also told us that she works at the Helen Keller Hospital in marketing. She actually brought some stuff from there, like a tote bag and some keep-a-breast lanyards and bracelets. I assume that was some sort of charity event. And a fish sticker. Fish is also always a charity event. Very popular.
Starting point is 00:04:33 And, yeah. Oh, and she brought a Walking Dead 3 comic book. Hardcover comic. Still in the plastic wrap. So that was a cool thing for her to bring. And she was a great guest and we had a lot of fun with her working at the Helen Keller Hospital as you can imagine
Starting point is 00:04:51 that she was working in marketing I asked her if she listens to podcasts at work and she admitted that she did and then somehow that became I'm glad she's not a surgeon and then jokes about her doing surgery at her desk while listening to podcasts. So it's definitely had to be there
Starting point is 00:05:10 but it also will help you in understanding some of the references later in the show. We talked about Graham's book that's coming out soon. We talked about Men in Black 3 about how we all thought that it played a little fast and loose
Starting point is 00:05:24 with the rules, depending on the circumstances. I said it felt like they were writing the movie as they were making it, which I think I heard something about that in the press, so it's not that an astute observation, but I still feel that that's the result. You know, it's got fun parts. We mentioned that Will Smith hadn't been in a movie since Seven Pounds,
Starting point is 00:05:45 which seems crazy. That was like four years ago. And there were several references to Bryce in the balcony, because he was a dude that took his shirt off the day before on stage and freaked everybody out with his crazy man boobs, and we made fun of him on this particular day because he was sitting in the balcony wearing a hat that made him look like a newsie. At the part where I say, does anyone hunger for games, I actually said, does anyone patriot for games, because that was suggested by Slabbery on Twitter,
Starting point is 00:06:23 and I gave it a try, but I'm going to go back to Hunger for Games in the next episode for sure. And then I explained how ABCD's Nuts works to Graham and Krista and Sean, and then we began the game. Thank you for listening to this six minute and thirty second recap enjoy the show got it? yeah okay I don't believe you
Starting point is 00:06:54 we'll start with Graham then we'll go to Krista and then we'll go to Sean Graham all the president's men your letter is L I'm just kidding I'm just kidding president's men. Your letter is L. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:07:10 So B to Krista. Big. Big. Like it. Now don't yell out in the audience, you guys. It's just between these folks. Cast away. Nice. Graham gets D. Dog fight. Who what? Dog fight. Okay. I believe you.
Starting point is 00:07:31 It's a Lily Taylor. Yeah, yeah. Joe lies when he cries. Yeah, yeah. All right, Krista, you get... Event Horizon. What? Event Horizon. Nicely done.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Firestorm. Okay. G for Graham. Firestorm. Okay. G for Graham. Goldeneye? Mm-hmm. You don't have to say them as a question. Hope Floats. Hope Floats?
Starting point is 00:07:59 Yeah, it does. I've seen it. Look at that floating seven-pounder right there. You named it Hope? I name all of mine. Yeah, I took a shit later that day and I called it Change. These are my shits, Hope and Change. And then I gave my shit to another guy and called it Charity.
Starting point is 00:08:25 In Bruges. Oh, sweet charity. So what's it to me? J? Jury duty. You guys are good at this. We might be here a while. K to Krista.
Starting point is 00:08:35 King Kong. L? Live and let die. M? Misery. N? No country for old men. Mm-hmm. M Misery N No country for old men Do I even need to participate?
Starting point is 00:08:53 You guys are great at this On the waterfront So is it P to me? Prometheus Prometheus coming out this summer Oh It's gotta be movies that have already opened You're out Prometheus coming out this summer. It's got to be movies that have already opened.
Starting point is 00:09:07 You're out. I'm just kidding. I'm like Men in Black 3. I make it up as I go. New rules. Q goes to... Quicksilver. Bicycling movie with Kevin Bacon. R.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Red Dawn. Red Dawn. Very nice. Wolverines. Little Wolverines. Wolverines. Silver Streak. T.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Three Kings. You didn't use a D one. That's nice. I'm saving those. Unbreakable. V for vendetta. Really? You guys got excited by that? Because I was kind of finger-banging the audience.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Yeah, what were you doing with the fucking scissor move? Happy Memorial Day! W to Krista. Who framed Roger Rabbit Yellow beard Z-Gram Yellow submarine What? What happened?
Starting point is 00:10:35 Who got X? What? You should be X there, Sean What did you say? W Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I was out of line. Zardoz.
Starting point is 00:10:48 Wow. Sean Connery. All right. So, yeah, like I said, Yellow Submarine. X's are exhausted now. Zardoz. No, I know some more X's. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:10:57 But Xylophone fuckers. Shh. Don't say them. Xylophone fucker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah bugger. Yeah. So Graham said Yellow Submarine. Zoolander. Back to A.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Appaloosa. Boys Don't Cry. Carrie. Dog Day Afternoon. Three. Elvis. Elvis. I've known Grant for a long time, and that's what he blurts out whenever he's panicked about something.
Starting point is 00:11:42 He's kind of a what would Elvis do kind of guy. I want my last word on earth to be Elvis. That's the weirdest thing he said when he died. But yes, there's a documentary about Elvis called Elvis. Yep. So, good for you. Take that shit to Memphis. Boom.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Far and away. Great expectations. All right, let me just stop you guys for a second. No dugouts. All right. Yeah. We're going to go hard now. It's going to get crazy.
Starting point is 00:12:19 So H is to... You can only do foreign films. Here we go. You can only do foreign films. Here we go. I hope they hire me to write Men in Black 4, because I can really make it up as we go. What is it to me?
Starting point is 00:12:37 I think, wouldn't it have been neat? Sidebar. Wouldn't it have been neat? Wouldn't it have been cool if you're sitting there watching Men in Black 3 and then suddenly they have to go back in time and then while you're watching it, that's when you find out that what's-his-name Brolin is playing young Tommy Lee Jones? And that's where you...
Starting point is 00:12:57 Because then you get that discovery there would cover the fact that then there's a lot of him sitting around talking and it's not really that amazing. He's doing a great impression. He does a good job. But it's like, that to me is like something, no one's going to that movie thinking like, oh, thank God they got a younger Tommy Lee
Starting point is 00:13:15 Jones. Oh my God, they got a guy that's 14 years younger than him. He even says in the movie that he's 29. It looks like, wow, he's 29. It looks like. Yeah. And Will Smith is like, rough road for you, buddy. 29 city years.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've taken a few seven pounders to the face. Oh, thank God that went somewhere. What was I talking about? Jesus. You got good weed in Nashville. So, we'll go...
Starting point is 00:13:50 We'll go faster and harder. What did you say? I think you're H. I'm H? You're H. Highlander. Okay, that's the Highlander. So you're out.
Starting point is 00:14:02 What? It's probably just Highlander, isn't it? It's just Highlander. Okay, you're good, you're good. It is. In the name of the Father. Jesus Christ Superstar. Also, try not to swear during this game.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Yeah, Chris's son is listening, so... What happened? Killing Fields. That's the Killing Fields for sure. You're out. Oh, fuck. So you're on a K? So you still have...
Starting point is 00:14:35 K? You still have K, yes. I'm really out for the... She got Kill Bill. I know, right? It's part of the fun. You got Kill Bill? This would last all day if you could do that.
Starting point is 00:14:43 So, L. Three. Love. Two. Actually. Oh! I thought you might go as a many-splendored thing. Alright, M to Kristen. Monsters, Inc. N. Neverland.
Starting point is 00:15:01 Finding. Yeah. We've got a challenge. There's a remake of Peter Pan called Neverland that was just shown on cable TV. Can you guys confirm that? If I find out later this is some straight-to-cable bullshit, if I find out this was a play that was performed at a high school
Starting point is 00:15:26 and shown on public access, if I find out that your daughter is by a plane that has no wheels and so can never land. Oh, Krista. Hi. Oh. Oh. Open water. Hi. Oh. Oh. Open water.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Porkies. Cute. Quick change. Mm-hmm. R. Run. Three, two, run away. What?
Starting point is 00:16:02 Run away with Tom Selleck, you son of a bitch. Stop or my mom will shoot. Telephone booth. Good move. No! It's called phone booth. It's called phone booth. You're out. You're out.
Starting point is 00:16:26 She won! Unbelievable! Wow. Is Helen Keller really like a video store? Is that what it is? It's not a hospital? Helen Keller's video and books? I worked at a video store all through college.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Ah, okay. Several videos. They got some really nice Braille DVDs. Yeah, it's really good. They're just coming out with Braille Blu-ray. Blu-ray Braille. Braille described video. Yeah, it's so good.
Starting point is 00:16:58 For the deaf. High deaf Braille. She walks into a... Anyway. Well, that only Julie Jones looks on quizzically. In Braille. But it's going on inside your head. You can't speak the words.
Starting point is 00:17:17 That's the inner monologue. What's happening? I'm just doing Braille described video for the deaf who cannot speak, and they're running their fingers along the side of the DVD as it's playing, receiving the described video, but they can only hear it within their mind because they cannot speak it themselves.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Okay, that guy's high. Just keep talking. I'm going to figure out who's high here right now. Sean Cullen, you are the Sebastian Cabot of comedy. People who are fans of him. It ain't me, babe. No, no. Graham, you're the Dennis Miller of references nobody knows.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Thank you. Thank you very much. I take great pride in that. There's one All in the Family fan out there listening, and I just fucking exploded their head. It's a family affair. It's called Family Affair. Family Affair.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Right, but they're fans of all those shows. So I'm telling you what I'm saying. Buffy, Judy, don't kill yourselves. Buffy. Oh, too late. Okay, Krista gets to go first and build a title. Jesus. Who does?
Starting point is 00:18:42 Krista. Oh, build a title. She rocked that shit that was that was amazing she just she's on a hot streak I want to rock that shit it's infectious isn't it it is Magical. I have Michael Jackson's Braille albums for the deaf as well. Where you can feel the moonwalk as you imagine the music within your mind. You can feel the wine he's giving children before he rapes them. Don't moan the truth, motherfuckers! Helen, are you okay?
Starting point is 00:19:24 Are you okay, Helen? You've been hit by a smooth braille page. Okay. We'll start with Kristen. At Conan the Barber suggested for a starter title and build a title. Most of the pictures are called Inner Space. So what can you do with that, Krista?
Starting point is 00:19:55 Inner Space. You've got to add a title to the beginning or the end that makes sense and a movie people know, have heard of. I'm looking at you, Graham. What's that? Nothing. What do you got, anything? An inner space Ventura pet detective.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Yeah. Could have just busted out some jam, but space Ventura pet Detective is, again, from your lips to Jim Carrey's ears. How great would that be? Put Ace Ventura out in space. He's on some sort of space ark with a bunch of animals. Is it my turn?
Starting point is 00:20:47 It could be the cast of Madagascar. Yeah, it's your turn, John. It's definitely your turn. Okay. Thinner Space Ventura Pet Detective. I was thinking about going Win Winner Space, but that thinner is good. Thinner Space Ventura Pet Detective. This could be an actual movie.
Starting point is 00:21:09 This could be a real project. It's in development. What do you think, Grant? Anything that ends in thin or begins with... Ends in thin. Detective. You know, one of our favorite TV shows, of Of course it's not on the air anymore But it's called Detective Sleepy
Starting point is 00:21:26 It was on right after Boat and Ouch On Friday nights on CBS Yeah Crime gets a wake up call Detective Sleepy right That's the one You got nothing
Starting point is 00:21:47 What are you thinking over there Krista? I don't know Nothing? You got nothing? No Okay so Sean wins that round Good for you Sean That was brutal We're just aware of the time That we've eaten up with the first game That was brutal.
Starting point is 00:22:06 We're just aware of the time that we've eaten up with the first game, so we're just shitting this one out. No, we're doing great on time. Yeah, buddy. Everything's good. I totally got this. It's great. There's something great going on with the time.
Starting point is 00:22:19 What voices are you even doing now? You're both doing silly voices that are just random. I'm just trying to come up with a game. It's a game show. I'm not talking in the kind of weird voice. I'm just trying to play the game correctly. Can I take you out to the well and teach you how to say water? I saw Helen Keller
Starting point is 00:22:45 actually didn't see it. It was in described video. On Braille. On the Braille network? Yeah. It's hard to imagine that word if you've never heard words before. Alright, Graham,
Starting point is 00:23:03 we'll start with you, and then we'll go to we'll cruise around the other way. We'll go to Sean, and then let's start with Krista, and then go to Graham, and then Sean. Didn't she start last time? It's fun. You got the point.
Starting point is 00:23:18 Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. You do it. Do it hard. I have a weird system, but you know. It's all about fate. It have a weird system, but, you know. It's all about fate. It's all about fate and how high I am. So you get your title is suggested by Drew Holsey on Twitter. Is he here, really?
Starting point is 00:23:40 His father is an admiral. Blade Runner. Blade Runner. Blade Runner. So you gotta end with Blade, begin with Runner. And I know titles that exist that could accomplish that feat, but this is a tough one.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Mmm. Mmm. Anything, Krista? Is there something called Switchblade? No, me. No, but could you frisk that gentleman up there that just clapped? Security? He's got a pound of weed.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Zany, security, could you? I don't think there is probably not it's definitely made for video or something but I don't think that applies here I'll be told I'm wrong so which way we're going
Starting point is 00:24:39 I'll go Sling Blade Sling Blade Runner I thought you'd say Blade. Sling Blade Runner. Who let the dogs out? I thought you'd say Zorro the Gay Blade. But Sling Blade is good too. Then Sean has to end in sling or begin with runner. Oh, well, can I use part of the word? Which part?
Starting point is 00:25:03 Sling Blade Rununearagon. What? That'd be Uragon. Spelled the same way. It's a matter of pronunciation. It's not a spelling game, though. It is a spelling game. Though.
Starting point is 00:25:24 If Space Ventura Pet Detective gets in... Let me throw it... That was brilliant. But Sling Blade Run Aragon is not brilliant? Are you listening to yourself? Yes. Inner Space Ventura. Aragon. No, noura. Eragon.
Starting point is 00:25:47 No, no, wait a minute. She said it's Ace Ventura. Eragon. Ace Ventura. It's pronunciation. Inner Space, what am I saying? Blades. Sling Blade.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Run Eragon. Runner. Well, no Aragon, runner. Well, no, that's insane. Now you can just go run Star Trek. But that's not true because it's spelled correctly. I don't understand why that is not allowed. It is a spelling situation. I think we had this problem on the lost episode from Toronto.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Yeah, well here's my thing. I was so happy that one got lost. Are we going to start getting into inflection? Because Blade Runner, it should be Sling Blade, right? If you're saying it that way, Sling Blade Runner.
Starting point is 00:26:42 It's not Sling Blade, it's Sling Blade. Sling Blade Runner. I's not Sling Blade. It's Sling Blade. Sling Blade Runner. I'm just excited to say that you're out. That is totally unfair and upsetting. You already have a point. Relax.
Starting point is 00:26:59 So who is still in it? Graham. So Graham got the point that time. Great. Oh shit. Bing, bang, bang. So Graham got the point that time. Great. Yeah. Oh, shit. Bing, bang, bang. Bing, bang, bang. Yes. There should be more of that on Jeopardy
Starting point is 00:27:12 when people get the right answer. Oh, shit. Bing, bang, bang. Ding, ding, ding. Dong, dong, dong. Bing, bang, bang. What is your losing? Bip, bip, doodle-doodle-dip.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Back to you, Alex. Just fucking... Oh, no, not the whistling. Winner. Anything but the whistling. I'll take Runaragon any time over the whistling. I don't think that was wrong. I thought of,
Starting point is 00:27:45 there's a motion picture called The Runner Stumbles that you could have said and then on Sling, it could have gone, there's a movie called The Gosling. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Or no, I'm sorry, Geesling. They should make a movie about, like a nature movie about Ryan Gosling. Yes. And him just, it's just him running
Starting point is 00:28:03 through a forest and Without his shirt on. Eating, all he eats is squirrels. Gosling. It's just him running through a forest and eating. All he eats is squirrels. Stops and finds a branch that's perfect for pull-ups and he just... It's for a pull-up spot. Then there's a fucking waterfall and he just Yeah, you ladies
Starting point is 00:28:22 would love it. You could watch that for fucking five hours. You'd be watching it all just going... Right? That's how women masturbate. They just hold their titties and lick them. Is there... Is there a man in here that is excited about going
Starting point is 00:28:42 and going to go and watch and enjoy Magic Mike. The story of a male stripper. For reals, you guys. That's what I thought. That's what I thought. That was so great. Like, Doug, you're an asshole.
Starting point is 00:29:05 We're gay they could totally be straight so awesome he's got the baggy shorts on the cut offs so I'm getting like a ball festival over here they're gay Alex but you guys are great on Modern Family and thanks for coming out The Gay Alex.
Starting point is 00:29:27 But you guys are great on Modern Family and thanks for coming out. It's so great. That is so great. So brave. It was brave. That's what it was. Already have our tickets to the midnight showing. What the fuck are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:29:45 That's your gay voice? We already have tickets. They're like gay pirates. We're the center square on Hollywood Square. Yes, yeah. Because chiffon wrinkles. It's a ball festival. A ball festival. Storm up. It's a ball festival. A ball festival.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Storm up. Winter's coming. Winter's coming. So awesome. We've lost a newsie. He's fallen out of the balcony. Who's going to tell us about it in the morning? Hi, hi.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Very hi. How you doing? All right. Let's try to settle up this tie because we've got to move on to the main attraction. This is just the undercard of this very exciting out. An aperitif.
Starting point is 00:30:54 That's what it is. So Graham just got the point. That's right, bitches. Alright. We'll start with the P.F. Chang's lettuce wrap of the P.F. Chang's lettuce wrap of the day. We're building up to a full
Starting point is 00:31:10 on dumpling feast. I wish, I would love it if I'd be like now it's time for Build a Title brought to you by P.F. Chang's lettuce wrap. Let us wrap you in deliciousness. in deliciousness. We're gay!
Starting point is 00:31:35 Chang, you can believe in. Oh! Chang's for coming in. I'm sorry. Chang's for coming in. That killed me. coming home sorry Chang's for coming in that probably didn't need to go on any further why when Jackie Chan flies in gives the lady the v8 he's like that's a veggie breakfast and then he disappears when he's leaving why does a gong go off like why isn't anyone from a watchdog group going why is a fucking gong going off when Like, why isn't anyone from a watchdog group going,
Starting point is 00:32:05 why is a fucking gong going off when an Asian man leaves the scene? Every Chinese home has a gong. Everyone. Everyone needs to be warned when a Chinese man leaves the building. His gong. He takes off gong.
Starting point is 00:32:22 It's a crazy shit happens while he's gone. I'm going to open the restaurant, honey. Gong. It's a crazy shit happens while he's gone. I'm going to open the restaurant, honey. Gong. Let's go watch Jeremy Lin play basketball. Gong. Seriously, homework assignment. Somebody get clips of Jackie Chan movies, a series of clips,
Starting point is 00:32:38 and in every clip have the part where he leaves the scene and then hit a gong and go on to the next clip. YouTube sensation right there. Yeah, right there. You'll get at least 2,800 hits on that one. After working for five days in a sweaty room next to a woman operating on somebody at a desk. Just going, Channing Tatum.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Keep it physical all the time Always physical Alright so we're going to start with Sean Go to Krista And this is hopefully going to settle it But maybe Krista will pull it Pull it into a three way tie with these guys Oof I know
Starting point is 00:33:18 Anything can happen Pull it YCKMD underscore One of the catchier Twitter names I've seen YuckMD underscore one of the catchier Twitter names I've seen YuckMD underscore he suggests, or she, I don't know what it is Air America Air America for
Starting point is 00:33:37 and you can't say Americaragon I don't see why not Kara Karagon. I don't see why not. But now, you know what? I've got one, and I'm afraid to say it, because you people will pull the fucking rule machine out and run over my heart. Run over it.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Yeah, just say it. Not so sweet, you guys. We'll be cool. Not great for me. just say it Not so sweet you guys Not great for me Just say it I feel good about it You're an American gangster Yeah that's right Yeah that's how it's done
Starting point is 00:34:18 There's lots of movies that start with American And that's the way to go And all of them end with tears Okay American Gangster And so that leaves We go to Krista And she gets to deal with Air American Con Air American Gangster
Starting point is 00:34:43 Con Classic Con Air American President American gangster. Con-era American gangster. Con. Classic. Con-era American president gangster. No, that's what I thought it was going to be, American president. But it's the American president. You're right. Good catch.
Starting point is 00:35:01 I'm not even playing. So what is it? It's con- American Gangster. I would have been disqualified for that. Someone else would have been let go. It would have been okay for them. But me, no. I'd be out.
Starting point is 00:35:17 I'd be out. Got some high people over here. I'm out. People are going to be listening to this going, does Doug just leave for periods of time? Does he just... Baconhead. Okay. Who's it on?
Starting point is 00:35:32 What's happening? Con, Air America, and Gangster. Anything? The big con. You have to do this every time. Not in front of the guests. I don't believe the big con Is a movie Who's in it?
Starting point is 00:35:46 It was with Um Mm-mm Cary Grant A young Cary Grant was in it It is a film noir movie No From 1943
Starting point is 00:35:54 That's all incorrect I just looked it up No Oh and I have And I got something in my eye I looked it up Got something in my eye And you it up, got something in my eye And you are out
Starting point is 00:36:07 Oh, that's so real That's bullshit, man So whose turn is it now? Okay, Sean, now you have to go back at it You gotta end with con Or begin with gangster The Necronomicon Air American Gangster. Really?
Starting point is 00:36:33 That's a movie? Yes, a crappy H.P. Lovecraft movie. Okay. Aren't they all? But the artwork in that is like that inspired Alien, right? Yes Some of it No, that was Skyger
Starting point is 00:36:51 Or Necronomicon But it's a book wrapped in human flesh Filled with horrible danger Wasn't Necronomicon the name of the ship In Titanic? Yes Yes, that's right That is right I'm having such a great time here in the state of in Titanic. Yes. Yes, that's right.
Starting point is 00:37:06 That is right. I'm having such a great time here in the state of Nashville. Yeah, Nashville. Yeah. I had to think for a second to say it wrong. I had to stop myself and go, I hope I'm saying this wrong right.
Starting point is 00:37:23 Okay, so... What's happening? are we economic con air american gangster so then we go to krista krista I've got nothing you don't have anything that ends in neck neck no neck uh oh the uh The hot neck. Hot neck. Oh, yeah, that was that movie where Rob Schneider was an ugly guy, but he had a magic potion that gave him a really hot neck. Yeah, he had a really hot neck. And all the women were just really attracted to his neck.
Starting point is 00:37:58 And these two gay guys were like, hot neck, we're in. No sense. Oh, I don't know. You can hotneck it. Okay, so I think I have one. Sean won. Am I done? I believe, yeah. I believe Sean is our winner of the whole
Starting point is 00:38:16 thing. Wow. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's only appropriate to celebrate at this time. Yay! For those listening at home, we just killed somebody. So that's what you missed out.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Yeah, we popped a man's balls to death. It was Bryce. Just took the one crack. Oh my God, UFC Just took the one crack. Oh my god, UFC was brutal the other night. It was like blood squirting out of a dude's face. The ref is just standing there like,
Starting point is 00:38:53 this is sweet. Why break this up? That guy wasn't even in the fight though. He was one of the concession guys. He just gigged himself like an old school wrestler. Popcorn. Candy floss. Candy floss.
Starting point is 00:39:16 Who wants a tall boy? You guys want to hear something crazy? We're exactly on time at this point. What has happened is happening exactly as I'd hoped it would. Because now it is time. Sean's going to get to go first.
Starting point is 00:39:36 And that will be in the Leonard Maltin game. Oh, shit! So let's see those name tags. The Leonard M Walden game, the game you have to... Oh, my God. These are amazing name tags. ...send through the other games to get to.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Oh, my God. You guys are amazing. These are amazing. This is really pretty sweet. Oh, my God. Can you take a picture, Graham? Yeah, I'll take a picture of all these names. Yeah, take a pictogram, and we'll Instagram that shit.
Starting point is 00:40:06 That's... Dude, I just thought of your next album title What? Instagram You could have like a superhero costume on You could be a guy that swoops in And takes decent pictures of people That's what a kind of Instagram is. Then tags them. Instagram
Starting point is 00:40:28 Parsons band. There's a huge box of nerds. I'm very excited about that. I want to jerk off into that huge box of nerds. We got somebody with a, is that a Ghostbusters license plate? Ecto-1. Horse? What is it good for? We got War Horse. What is that creature in the back
Starting point is 00:40:43 by the bar? Yeah you lady That's a predator helmet What is that? A predator helmet? Predator head Predator head It's holding You killed a predator man
Starting point is 00:40:58 For like a dollar bill This is amazing Way to go You guys This is like really impressive It's pretty incredible Did you get good pictures? Yes I did.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Okay, good. Oh, shit. Okay, so everybody, Krista and Sean and Graham, go pick the name tag you want to play for. And remember, people with name tags, it's cute that you drew it on your keyboard, but now he's going to get to keep that. So keep that in mind.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Yeah, I'm going to smash it. Oh, look at Howard the Duck I love Howard the Duck This is great And Lego One says wit I apologize to the balcony You're probably not gonna get picked Even though that's a sweet pair of tits
Starting point is 00:41:35 Nice titties in the balcony Nice man boobs There's a serial killer in the balcony Who cut off a woman's breasts And mounted them So now he can titty fuck 24-7 You got one of them neuralizers, don't you, buddy? I know, I know
Starting point is 00:41:54 These are amazing These are amazing I don't know who to pick Krista, you go first, sweetie Yeah, just go get it Yeah, you can put your mic down. Go grab one. Chris is going to go out there
Starting point is 00:42:06 Helen Keller style and just... Just feel the one you want. Feel your way through it. That's a little puppet there. There's a little puppet. Oh, look at that thing. I know.
Starting point is 00:42:18 Oh, that's the beaver from Caddyshack. What does that say? What does that one say? It's actually a gopher, I think. I know. I said it on another show. I called it a beaver.
Starting point is 00:42:27 All right. Well, I'll take yours. Right here. Let's go. Walk it up. Yeah, okay. You walk it up here? Thank you, sir.
Starting point is 00:42:33 I just want... I'm sorry, sir. I appreciate it, but I think the nerds have got your name on them. So... Well, actually, Jill's name on them.
Starting point is 00:42:42 Mac and Kimmy. Jilly. Out of this world and into your heart. Give all these name tags a round of applause. You guys, that's really impressive. Give it, give it. Clap it up. Fucking give it.
Starting point is 00:42:55 You guys are just sitting there like, ooh. Sorry. There's a shithead on the back of your thing, so don't say that out loud. Don't say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nerds. Ooh, candy?
Starting point is 00:43:07 You got candy? I just have nerds. Sorry, shithead. Who are you playing for, Krista? I'm playing for Swan. Swan. Oh, and it's got free candy. It has free candy, and it's a zombie mini pearl.
Starting point is 00:43:23 Yeah. Oh, very appropriate for Nashville. Yeah. I'm very proud to be here. They didn't know Sebastian Cabot, but they knew mini pearl. She is a legend of this town. And this is... Sean has a box that says Jilly Wonka.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Jilly Wonka. When I was younger and slimmer, I looked like Gene Wilder. The Gene Wilder version. Yeah. And it's also a huge box of Nerds? Yeah, it's a big box of Nerds. It's really full of Nerds, my friends. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:43:49 Are they chunky Nerds? They're boxes of Nerds. Oh, they're boxes of them. Oh, bust those bitches out. Let's do this. So you don't have to eat them all in one sitting. You can eat a little box at a time. Hang on, hang on.
Starting point is 00:44:02 We're busting those bitches out. Who talks that way about candy? Oh, that's a lovely bitch! Oh! Toss them bitches! This bitch is not part of my 99 problems.
Starting point is 00:44:22 Not in that equation at all. Sorry, I just hit someone in the head with nerds. And my nerds ain't one. Here, if you guys want a nerd. I got 99 problems and a bitch is some. There's a few things. Definitely a few things. There's a couple things that are on the list of my problems.
Starting point is 00:44:36 You were talking about that. No relationship is perfect, I think is what we're saying. Oh, Howard the Duck. Did you want one? Okay, she didn't want one anyway. Gay guys! Gay nerds! They caught it.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Oh, man. It sounds like you're hitting them in the face with these little boxes. Well, some of these people have very brittle bones. And if they're hit with anything, they just turn to tiny pellets. They have avian bird flu. I've got brittle bones. Is that all of it?
Starting point is 00:45:14 No, there's some in there still. Oh, keep doing it. Let's get rid of all of it. Open the other side, bitch. This is so much fun to listen to. This is so much fun to listen to. This is a foolish form of candy distribution. All right, balcony.
Starting point is 00:45:35 What are you going to do now? Kick them into the audience? Oh, hit those tits. Hold those tits up. Try to hit the tits with the nerds. I'm going to hit those titties with some nerds. Put your shirt on, Bryce. Oh, yeah. Some guy's got a shirt on.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Yeah, here are your beads, you whore. Oh, no. I'm sorry. Did I hit someone in the face up there? I'm sorry. Are you okay? I'm sorry. People who like beads, you whore. Oh, no. I'm sorry. Did I hit someone in the face up there? I'm sorry. Are you okay? I'm sorry. People who like beads are not whores.
Starting point is 00:46:09 I'm sorry, ma'am. Are you okay? Let me try again, then. Who doesn't want some beads? I mean, it's a trick question. All right. Well, that was... I chucked him really hard.
Starting point is 00:46:25 I hope I didn't hurt someone's face. Anyway, I'm sorry. Yeah, he's really sorry. Sometimes, sometimes... Sorry about your face. I just want... I would actually like this. That was...
Starting point is 00:46:40 I didn't get any. That was Revenge of the Nerds. Oh! Bitches Oh joke of the night Ladies and gentlemen So Krista's 11 year old Listens to this Very bad examples gentlemen
Starting point is 00:47:19 What do you expect From a woman who does surgery on a desk Holy shit Well precision for one thing What do you expect from a woman who does surgery on a desk? Holy shit. Well, precision, for one thing. I guess so. And she's been showing it so far. And Graham, who are you playing for?
Starting point is 00:47:35 I am playing for Mac and Kimmy. Let's do it. I saw, I think you tweeted earlier, I think I saw it. It was something about, like, if I don't get my wheelchair in there, there's going to be fucking hell to pay, bitches. You were really foul-mouthed and determined. The challenge is getting out of here with that wheelchair, all right? Because I'm taking it. Who's going to play you in the movie?
Starting point is 00:48:03 Who's going to play the plucky girl in the wheelchair that calls ahead and says, you better fucking have shit ready? Mila Kunis. Mila Kunis. She's a very good actress. She's very talented. Oh, I'm so excited about these nerds.
Starting point is 00:48:27 I got the grape ones That was so awesome Only we will know about it I am tired from jumping around in my sleep Are we still on time now? It's a good thing you were stretching backstage You get ready for a performance You never know You never know when It's a good thing you were stretching backstage. You really, you get ready for a performance. You never know. Because you know that that shit's going to happen.
Starting point is 00:48:47 You never know when there's going to be some nerd dancing. You got to, sometimes a bit's going nowhere. You got to tap it out. You got to just go into a dance. The whistling, I don't, I'm not so crazy about, but. So, Sean gets to go first. Yes. Then we'll go to Krista.
Starting point is 00:49:04 She's been a great, so good at these games. Very good. It's been awesome. Yeah. And then, I'm sorry, who are you playing for again, Krista? I am playing for Swan. Swan. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:49:21 Jesus. That was fucking crazy. It doesn't sound like a swan. It sounds like a bird of prey. Oh, shit. Jesus. That was fucking crazy. It doesn't sound like a swan. It sounds like a bird of prey. Our love is an old love, baby. You know what that's from? Yes.
Starting point is 00:49:38 So one person in the audience has confirmed it. The guy, the huge Sebastian Cabot fan. It's Paul Williams wrote all the music and was the star he played the devil in Phantom of the Paradise and his name was Mr. Swan that's what it was that's all true that's all real
Starting point is 00:49:57 and who are you playing for again there? little baby Jilly little baby Jilly with the nerd box Little Baby Jilly with the nerd box. Little Baby Jilly with the nerd box. Okay, Sean. Sean gets to pick a category. He gets to choose between the following. Is it pronunciation of movies?
Starting point is 00:50:19 Titles? Yeah, that's the category. Movies that are difficult to pronounce and win games with. This is a different game. This is the one that you've done quite well at. You went negative four one time on Star Trek The Voyage Home. It was impressive.
Starting point is 00:50:35 But it happened in Canada. So it doesn't count. No, we didn't record it. It was just at a live show, stand-up show. Kind of like what we did yesterday. But now we're taping them. It's Carey Mulligan's birthday today. We saw her in the trailer today for Great Gatsby.
Starting point is 00:50:55 Finally, a movie that her haircut caught up. It's like, finally, she's had that short hair for a while. She must have really wanted to be in this kind of movie. Yes. Because why have that hair in Money Never Sleeps, Wall Street 2? Dumb. Why have... Why?
Starting point is 00:51:12 What are you doing? What are you doing? Money Never Sleeps, 23 Skidoo. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. You know what? I'm going to have to... Never sleeps that money never ever sleeps. Yeah, I'm going to have to withdraw this category
Starting point is 00:51:29 because that's the actual answer. Oh. Yeah, I shouldn't have brought up the movie that's the answer. Great. Just start talking about it. That's why Alex Trebek doesn't smoke weed, you guys. Right there.
Starting point is 00:51:44 He doesn't just look at the more great category. Oh, fuck, that one's goddamn Burt Reynolds for 500 bucks. You're gonna love that one. It's nerd poisoning. There's a whole team behind Alex Trebek and what he does. This is all me. You're alone. Having some nerds mid-show.
Starting point is 00:52:04 Having some nerds, learning about Cuba. Oh, there's some fucking nerds. Okay, I've got to give you three categories still. Sean gets to pick. Category called, I bet you don't know the full title, which is a movie where when you guess the answer, you probably won't say the full title. That's my challenge to you.
Starting point is 00:52:24 And if you don't say it, you fail won't say the full title. That's my challenge to you. And if you don't say it, you fail. Yeah, exactly. At Sunny Prospect on Twitter suggested what to infect when you're infecting. Which is movies where there's some sort of plague. And then the King of Pancakes category, the number
Starting point is 00:52:41 one movie ten years ago to this very day at the box office here in the U.S. of A. What do you think, Sean? Which of those categories do you like? Wow. Yeah, really? Think about it. I'm going to go with What to Infect When You're Infected.
Starting point is 00:53:01 What to Expect When You're Infected. Okay. What to Infect When You're Infect when you're infected. What to expect when you're infected. Okay. What to infect when you're infected. From 1995 is this movie that Leonard gives two and a half stars. And he says about this film that it is dynamite. And two and a half stars and it's dynamite. Maybe he was injured in an explosion. Yeah, maybe something happened
Starting point is 00:53:25 between the raiding and the riding. He calls it dynamite and he says that oh, it goes almost completely awry in the second half. Just awry. It goes from dynamite
Starting point is 00:53:42 to awry. So that's got to be uncomfortable for people. So thank you, Leonard, for warning us. And he lists four, five, six, 11 names? Yeah, 11 names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Sean Cullen? Well, I'm going to start light and go with... I'm going to go with nine.
Starting point is 00:54:12 What did you say? Nine. I said nine. Nine names. I can't hear him over the crunching of these nerds. They're so good. That's how a lot of kids go deaf. Right, Krista?
Starting point is 00:54:26 Night, Krista? Night Krista What do you want to do with that Krista? He says nine names out of eleven I'll go five Okay She came to play She's got a win for Swan A little good old Swan-y Four
Starting point is 00:54:51 Whoa What do you think of that, Sean? Sean says name it You want the clues again? Yes Something, something, something, something There's a movie where there's some sort of disease He thinks it's dynamite and then it sucks
Starting point is 00:55:11 And it's two and a half stars Dynamite goes to rye A rye in the second half That's what cost you that half star was rye Dynamite to a rye And your four names are Lance Kerwin, Jim, the great Jim Antonio,
Starting point is 00:55:30 Dale Dye, and Zakes Mokai. And the movie's from 1995. What's it called, Graham? Is that Outbreak? That is correct! Well done. That's for you.
Starting point is 00:56:04 There's a monkey in it I gotta write that down Graham did something right for once That was awesome Okay so that means Who challenged him? Sean did? Yeah So we'll start with Krista and go to Sean
Starting point is 00:56:20 You can pick from the following categories Would you like Peggy Sue got Marley'd And me and go to Sean, you can pick from the following categories. Would you like Peggy Sue Got Marleyed and Me? That's films where Kathleen Turner dies. Or At Fragrant Bleach suggested Top Build, and that is movies
Starting point is 00:56:44 that were played mentioned in tonight's round of build a title. That's fucking right. That thunder after that is so dramatic. There's a storm of brewing. Shit just got serious
Starting point is 00:57:01 and real and real serious. They should say funnier things in Men in Black 3. I'm just going to say it. They should say funnier things. When I agree to disagree is the catchphrase they keep saying.
Starting point is 00:57:15 No. No. Yeah. No. I agree to disagree. Why do you keep saying that? We are battling each other. It's like they couldn't get the rights to talk to the hand
Starting point is 00:57:26 or something fucking stupid like that. It was so dumb. Yeah, the rights to talk to the hand were... Someone copywritten talk to the hand. They're all tied up in that... What's her name? The nanny. The nanny.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Fran Drescher made a talk to the hand movie. Yeah. It was about her arguing with the glove from Hamburger Helper was that Chewbacca as Fran Drescher says Chewie get the engines running when Chewie gets drunk when he has too much mead or whatever the fuck, he... Wookiee mead. He drinks mead.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Wookiee mead. Because it was a long time ago. When he has too much grain. When he drinks too much grain, he... He also is... He does impressions. He has a gluten intolerance that makes him shit his fur. Makes him crazy.
Starting point is 00:58:21 Oh, this is great when he's drunk. Do your... Chewbacca, do your Fran Drescher. Do your Fran Drescher. This is great when he's drunk Chewbacca do your Fran Drescher Do your Fran Drescher That's great Or Or Grandma's Cock The films of Jeff Garlin
Starting point is 00:58:34 I don't know why it never gets picked Until today Because I said It's happening I said if that's the category I'm picking grandma's cock and you're going to stand out loud and your child is going to listen to it
Starting point is 00:58:50 I'll cover his ears okay you'll know exactly when we're going to say cock yes because it'll be right after and before grandma's grandma's
Starting point is 00:58:58 yes let me just just for fun like then you take your hands off and just wait like two beats cock cock cock yeah that, just for fun, like then you take your hands off and just wait like two beats. Cock, cock, cock. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:09 That was just for fun. Jeff Garlin is in this movie, according to Leonard Maltin and his app. Two and a half stars. He says about the film that it's, it starts off abysmally, improves as it goes along, but then there's that formulaic, barely credible finale. I'd call it an ending if you're slagging on it that hard. I wouldn't call it a finale. Am I right, gay dudes?
Starting point is 00:59:45 They just got their bill, so they're doing math. Shit got real serious because they got to save money for the Channing Tatum account. They said they're going. What's a Channing Tatum account? Well, they use the Dave Ramsey envelope system and they save money every month. Or maybe do they buy stuff that's on his wish list? Yeah. Do they buy him stuff?
Starting point is 01:00:13 I need some new road pants. Please buy me some. All right, so those are good clues, right? Yes. Did you tell me a year? I'm about to. Okay, good. 2008.
Starting point is 01:00:32 Two and a half stars. And all that other stuff. And there are... 16 names? Yeah, oh, Jesus is right. Okay, let's go with 16 names Yeah, smart opening bid Those have to play the game
Starting point is 01:00:49 You had 15? Yeah, okay 15 says Sean 10 Oof 8 Yeah 7 So 7 names out of 16 Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:01:05 Seven. So seven names out of 16. Sean Cullen, I think you need to name that movie, my friend. Oh, this isn't happening to us. This is going to be terrible. So if Chewbacca was... He says gluten. That's the one English word he knows. It's gluten.
Starting point is 01:01:36 That's why his coat's so lustrous. You see other Wookiees walking around like, what are you fucking doing wrong? Or right. Too much gluten. Stupid Wookiee. Gluten will fuck up your... Fucking goddamn Wookiee walking around like, what are you fucking doing wrong? Or right? Too much gluten. Stupid Wookie. Gluten will fuck up your... Fucking goddamn Wookie.
Starting point is 01:01:49 Yeah. Do you think anybody's ever been mad at Chewbacca? Ever? Yeah. I think he's nice. Sure. In the Clone Wars,
Starting point is 01:01:58 people are very angry at him. Oh, yeah. A group of bounty hunters I meant real people. I'm talking about real people. And how they feel about Chewbacca. It doesn't make any sense. He's not a chasing. I meant real people. I'm talking about real people. Well, he's not a real person, though. It doesn't make any sense. You're right, he's not a person.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Do you think people were mad at Hamlet? Yeah. A lot of people hate that guy. Yeah, that was fucked up what he did. What a fucked up asshole. He was a dick. Yes, I think that. Stabbity.
Starting point is 01:02:21 Stabbity, stabbity through the tapestry. Stabbity, stabbity. Sorryabbity through the tapestry Stabbity, stabbity Sorry, Polonius Just an asshole here Prince of Denmark Bitter, bitter fucker Isn't that the song right at the act break Of the musical Stabbity, Stabbity?
Starting point is 01:02:36 Stabbity, stabbity, stabbity Tapestry, Polonius I didn't erroneous stab Stabbity, Stabity cab. Get me a cab. I've got to run because I stabbed Polonius now. That's after the third act.
Starting point is 01:03:00 After the third act? Third act. Well, there's five acts in Hamlet. Oh, no. Yeah, for sure. It's one of Hamlet Oh no Things start to go wrong And pick up in the fourth act How many times do people get to go to the lobby And buy expensive drinks
Starting point is 01:03:14 And stand in long lines to urinate near others Is this a question about Hamlet Or is this about Some play that you're in I don't know I can't keep up with your schedule. One minute you're writing a book. The next minute it's some other book. Hamlet the Musical.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Funny Boy. That's Hamlet the Musical, Funny Boy? That's from the producers. That's what Max Bialystok puts on a play, and it's a flop, and it's called Funny Boy. Hamlet the Musical. Nanny boy! It's pretty funny, boy.
Starting point is 01:03:48 That is so funny, funny boy. Hey, can I get another one of the you know what's? Thank you so much. She's vile of heroin. She gets me my heroin. On stage? Can you give me another Killah Hooker? Can you get that for me? It's fun to use cutesy language when talking about heroin.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Can you get me the whatsy-whosy that I like, that I like-sy? Can you give me the little brown liquid train? Choo-choo-choo. Graham Elwood, your four names are... What? Wait, what? What? Oh, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:04:22 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Your one name. Wait, no. No, I have to do it in seven. I'm sorry. Your one name. Wait, no. No, I have to do it in seven. Sean Cullen. Sean in seven. Okay, here we go.
Starting point is 01:04:31 And it's 2008 movie. It's good that you guys are here. Jesus. Okay, Krista, you get 12 names. No? Okay. Starting with... Ready, Sean? And these names are not in the movie.
Starting point is 01:04:43 These are all... Just random What I do is I just think of names Dave Wilson Yes Connie Francis Like this first Connie Francis
Starting point is 01:04:53 Captain Antoneal That counts as two names That's right No these are legitimate Legitimate names There's all these weird names Of crazy musicians and stuff And people that don't belong
Starting point is 01:05:04 Here we go. Pete Best. Oh, well, wait a minute. Right? I saw it and I don't remember Pete Best being in it. Jane Krakowski. Jonathan Glazer.
Starting point is 01:05:17 Lonnie Ross. Bradley Cooper. Oh. Ooh. Fred Armisen. Howard Hessman And this movie was made Yeah this movie was completed
Starting point is 01:05:35 This is an actual film Two and a half stars from Leonard He said all those really nice things about it What? Oh my drink thank you so much. Here comes your heroin. God, that was so weird. Hey, Doug.
Starting point is 01:05:48 Psst. Oh, we're going to need a bent spoon and a sternal can. We're going to need that up here. Thank you, sweetie. Hey, Doug. Hey, Doug. Did you hear about the dead newsie? Fell out of the balcony during your show.
Starting point is 01:06:01 Got hit with a nerd's box. Went cold. Oh. Got hit with a nerds box Went cold So what do you think? What do you think Sean? Any idea? What was the category? Jeff Garland Oh yeah Jeff Garland is in this
Starting point is 01:06:19 So that's another name That's a bonus name Because we didn't get to him yet Did we? Yeah Well I can't believe he made it above seven people into the title so that's interesting
Starting point is 01:06:29 yeah how did Howard Hessman not get billed over Jeff Garland that's fucking weird I don't know about that yeah he was being facetious you also have to take into account the size of the role you know I'm going to go out on a limb and say Hamlet.
Starting point is 01:06:49 Hamlet the movie. Great guess, great guess. Let the actual answer, the actual answer, oh, let me get the confetti ready. That's two points for him. That's too much fun to not have confetti when I announce this. I'm not half confetti when I announce this. The movie is called The Rocker, and Graham is our winner!
Starting point is 01:07:23 Hey, hey, hey! How about one thing? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What? Just one request. Learn another song. Okay. Name a song and I'll sing it. Why do you always have to do that song from The Exorcist? Okay, this guy wants me to do Pearl Jam.
Starting point is 01:07:39 Oh, it's a Pearl Jam. Here we go. You can't even commit to the dumb joke that you're going to do the same thing again. No, I can do it. I can do Pearl Jam. Okay, Pearl Jam. Here we go You can't even commit To the dumb joke That you're gonna do The same thing again No I can do it I can do Pearl Jam Okay Pearl Jam
Starting point is 01:07:48 Here we go Slim Whitman has covered Pearl Jam in his new album It is It's really good It's really good It's really good Here's
Starting point is 01:07:54 I'm gonna do Even Flow Oh Jesus Nailing it Oh yeah That's perfect That's perfect. That's great.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Holy shit. That's great. Dogs are dying. Dogs are dying. Jesus. Put the mic down. Take the prizes to our winner. What's her name again?
Starting point is 01:08:21 Kimmy! Kimmy! Here, take all this back to her You got a shithead on the back of your Nowhere You got a shithead anywhere on there I don't see one Oh here there she'll write it down We gotta collect the shitheads
Starting point is 01:08:43 Don't put my name It's always a fun part. I wanna read Kimmy's shithead anyway. Kimmy's shithead is very funny. She wrote, whoever drew the shitty comedian pictures on the side wall is a shithead.
Starting point is 01:08:59 They have Gallagher up there. Personally, I think they're works of art. There's this retarded kid named Art who... And now I'm going to whistle Don't Call Me Daughter. No! Ow! So painful. Don't whistle, daughter.
Starting point is 01:09:21 All right. We're going to... We're running over time. You're a cleaver. You're running over time. Oh, here we go. Clearly I remember throwing nerds at a dude. Well, the nerds were flying. Anyway.
Starting point is 01:09:37 And the people crying. And then I ate a pie. And that's just your bail on the boom. Thank you guys so much for coming today. This was really fun. Thank you guys. Thank you. Super cool.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Proud. This Graham Elwood freak and I are going to be tap dancing and whistling into your hearts at the Funny Bone in Virginia Beach June 23rd and 24th. We'll be in Tulsa at the IDL Ballroom on June 26th. I think they made that up. That's a practical
Starting point is 01:10:10 joke. We'll get there and they'll be like, ha ha. It'll just be some guy's living room with long water stains everywhere. We're going to be at the Comedy Works in Denver, June 26th. Denver, yeah! Denver, yeah! The oxygen is thin there!
Starting point is 01:10:31 Sean Collin doesn't know that the Denver yeah is something T.J. Miller and Pete Holmes say. I don't know that. And you just kind of jumped in like, that was normal that people were yelling that. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America.
Starting point is 01:10:41 I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America.
Starting point is 01:10:42 I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America.
Starting point is 01:10:42 I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America.
Starting point is 01:10:42 I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America.
Starting point is 01:10:42 I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America.
Starting point is 01:10:44 I don't know America. I don't know America. I don't know America. You're going to yell about fucking anything. It's like you're at a sale for fridges and by the end of it, people are milling around yelling USA. USA. I got 25% off. USA.
Starting point is 01:10:57 USA. We don't do that. It doesn't happen. Because we don't use fridges. That totally happens. We just leave our food outside and hope that wolves don't eat it.
Starting point is 01:11:10 They don't eat canned stuff, but they do eat meat. Krista, do you have anything to plug? Any dates coming up? Any tour dates? Any surgeries? Any days where we probably shouldn't have lunch with you at your desk? We have work tomorrow. Oh, alright. When's break time?
Starting point is 01:11:25 Everyone can pop in. Y'all can come any time in the afternoon. It's fine. Sweet. Well, let's have a round of applause for Krista Martin. Krista, that was so great. That was so great. Really cool.
Starting point is 01:11:39 Good, good times. Oh, the t-shirt that Graham is going to, it's the last one that was made by foreigners. I'm looking around for it. We didn't give her the prize bag already. It's in the prize bag. Yeah, yeah, it's in the bag. But that t-shirt in there,
Starting point is 01:11:54 make sure she gets the size that she wants. Yeah, if you need to switch the size, I'll be right here. Graham will be out on the sidewalk. It's a fun thing we do. We have a sidewalk sale after our shows. Sean will start chanting USA. It's a fun thing we do. We have a sidewalk sale after our shows. Sean will start chanting USA. It'll be awesome.
Starting point is 01:12:07 If it's a bit big, Graham will sew the bottom of it together a little bit in the middle and you can make it into a little pantsuit. Turns it into a nice onesie. Yes.
Starting point is 01:12:20 I'll be outside doing tailoring. I can do any alterations that you need. Yep. Pocket sewer man. You should have infant size. Palm strike shirts. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:34 All right. You people start getting pregnant and we'll fucking do it. Yeah, it's on you people. Yeah. See you in 10 months. The entire crowd is lined up For a fucking Alright Palm strike onesie
Starting point is 01:12:51 Make a baby Alright So that was Graham Elwood Oh you have the plugs Anything plugs Yeah yeah My new CD's out Palm strike dance party
Starting point is 01:13:00 Available Many of you have it You're awesome Thank you It is available Everything My podcast It's all available At Graham Elwood dot com dance party available. Many of you have it. You're awesome. Thank you. It is available, everything, my podcast,
Starting point is 01:13:07 it's all available at GrahamElwood.com. Thank you, Nashville. Yeah, Denver. What? Doug's taking a photo. We almost fell off the stage. And Sean Cullen, anything to plug?
Starting point is 01:13:24 Well, I just finished the first draft of my next novel today. It's called Dreamland, and hopefully that will be out of the spring. But you won't read it because you're old. But I've got a podcast named The Sean Pod. You can download it for free on iTunes. It's just really more of the same. really more of the same. And I have an album called
Starting point is 01:13:48 I Am a Human Man that you can get on iTunes as well. And also you told me backstage that you had like a special end of show song that you wanted to sing. Yeah, okay. This city is sweaty The sweat runs down
Starting point is 01:14:04 And the dreams come out at night P.F. Chang are you listening the stars are glistening Nashville city of dreams
Starting point is 01:14:20 come dance with some ribs on your chest From a guy with a barrel that's filled up with charcoal And he bakes up the ribs and he smears them on your flesh And then releases a cougar which chases you down through the streets of this town as your flesh is torn from your bones.
Starting point is 01:14:55 Cause you know here in Tennessee, when you're in Nashville, you'll never die alone. Yeah! Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. You go. Holy shit, I'm glad I talked that guy into coming down from Canada
Starting point is 01:15:38 and I'm glad that other guy I'm glad that other guy's alright and Krista did a great job that was super awesome. And thanks again, Nashville. We'll do this again sometime. That was really great. I'm trying to guess which order will be funnier to do these in, and I can't figure out the formula,
Starting point is 01:16:00 so I'm just going to have to take a stab at it and see if you guys agree with me. John Travolta is a shithead. As me. John Travolta is a shithead. As always, John Travolta is a shithead. And mustard is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you,
Starting point is 01:16:26 cause Doug loves movies!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.