Doug Loves Movies - Sean Jordan, Chad Opitz and Kris Tinkle guest
Episode Date: February 12, 2019Live from the Punchline Comedy Club in Sacramento, Doug welcomes Sean Jordan, Chad Opitz and Kris Tinkle to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. ...For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Doug hates candy wrappers, green and baby sticky seeds
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies.
Coming to you once again from hashtag SACTO.
Hashtag SACTOWN.
Hashtag SACPUNCH.
We are at the Punchline in Sacramento. Yeahramento yeah and it's what day is it it's sunday
february 10th 2019 it's cold out for callie so i'd like to warm up from the glow of your name tags? Oh, yes.
Oh, this is good.
Remind me when the name tags
come out later to
do like a periscope or something of everybody.
This is pretty impressive, you guys.
Look at this one right here, everybody.
It's instead of Dave Chappelle's
block party, it's
Darby Chappelle's
block party. Your name's Darby?
Yeah. Holy shit.
Oh, and it's even got your name here at the bottom.
A film by Darby Madden-Gross.
That is a weird name.
Alright.
We got JoJo instead of
what'd you call it?
Coco.
Yeah, I get it.
Vacation.
Very nice, Kate.
I've seen this one before, Katie Bird and Dan's Labyrinth.
You posted those on Twitter, I think.
What's this one with the flashing thing on the side?
It's a quiet place.
It's a quitty place.
But it's a quitty place place because your name is Quitty?
stop it
and why is it flashing just on one side?
the red light for
the red light for
I don't get it
but that's cool
oh in the movie
quiet place
now I kind of get it the Brandon that's cool. Oh, in the movie. Quiet Place. Now I kind of get it.
The Brandon Boone of the Pest Hotel.
What's that in your...
What's this?
Oh, I had two other name tags.
You had two other name tags?
You got the backups?
And then we got somebody put a whole bunch of Donettis on the stage?
Yeah!
I'm going to eat them on the plane.
And then a couple of boxes of donuts from a place called,
there's a place called Milk Money?
That was a movie with Katie Holmes, I think.
All right.
Great job, name tags.
You can put them down.
I'm going to put my donaties over here.
And then we're going to get back into this shit
because you know what comes next.
Doug plugs.
Next Saturday.
One person loves the plugs.
Tell us about shows we can't go to, Doug.
Well, next Saturday, February 16th,
I'm going to be at Good Nights in
Raleigh, North Carolina at 420.
And then on February 26th,
Doug Loves Movies is back at the
UCB Franklin in Los Angeles.
I'm doing stand-up at the Tampa
Improv February 28th.
Bring your name tags, though. And then I'm
going to be setting sail on the Trailer
Park Boys cruise.
Yeah, it's going to be super fun. There's still some cabins available, I think. And I'm going to be doing sail on the trailer park boys cruise yeah it's gonna be super fun there's still some
cabins available i think and i'm gonna be doing shows at the new helium in indianapolis on march
23rd and 24th and it will be a gas all of my dates and dates and links are douglovesmovies.com You guys are perfect.
Perfectly adorable.
I brought stuff for the prize bag
and also was handed something just now outside
by a gentleman that's very heavy and looks very cool.
It's a giant can of beer.
Yeah, and it's called Shanty Shack Brewing. I guess
they're the ones that make it. And this is the Shanty Clear Pills. One quart of beer.
Yeah. Alcohol 5.5% by volume. So somebody's going to get that. A Douglas Movies t-shirt.
Some free drinks on one airline.
A tiny, cute little tiny ketchup.
This is like a, it's called Wallet Caddy.
And it looks like a stack of credit cards.
You put your wallet and then you put joints inside the inside it but like they do such a
great job with it it looks really looks like oh you know like a credit card but
then they had to have fun with it and put 420 on there yeah I'm sure cops
haven't heard of that in fact there's a new measure in the House of Representatives
to make weed legal throughout the country,
and it's called SB 420.
They just went, let's just call it 420.
I mean, why fuck around?
And I was just in Dallas,
so the winner today is going to get a copy of Dallas Magazine.
Yeah. You probably want to get a copy of Dallas Magazine. Yeah.
You probably want to subscribe after reading this first one.
And it turns out I'm very lucky that three of my comedy friends,
who've all appeared on the show before, are here in Sacto.
So please give it up for Chad Opitz, Chris Tinkle,
and Sean Jordan.
Hey, fellas.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah.
Let's meet them individually.
Starting with, in the middle,
Chad Opitz, everybody!
Hello.
You've appeared at the show in a couple of places now.
San Jose, that was a lot of fun.
Brandon was there, of fun brandon was there of
course and i don't know how many name tags he brought that time and uh you uh do lots of shows
in san francisco you were on the benson movie interruption of 50 shades freed at the sketch
fest yeah that was awesome uh what else is going on dude? Alright let's move on
I don't know man
This is the big deal
If you're like
What's your big credit?
This right here
This is it
This is it
He's a regular on
Doug Lowe's movies you guys
Hey could you
Could you do the thing?
Oh fuck
Sure yeah
Okay Watch this everybody I know what the thing is And, fuck. Sure, yeah. Okay, watch this, everybody.
I know what the thing is, and it's pretty tight.
I love it.
He's exiting the stage,
looking around,
and here we go.
Here we go.
Holy shitball.
Yep.
You know how hard that would be?
Man, that'd be hard.
That's why you have to see this show live.
I did a Halloween show with Doug,
and I was dressed up as a big bowl of clam chowder.
And just real quick,
the listeners still don't know what you just did.
Oh, yeah.
Their mind is wandering.
A somersault of did. Oh, yeah. I did a lot of... Their mind is wandering. A somersault of sorts.
Whatever, yeah.
You were a bowl of clam chowder.
I dressed up as a bowl of clam chowder,
and you made me do that three times.
He's like, do it again.
I was like, okay.
Yeah, make me some kind of strong language,
because you have free will.
I just asked you to do it.
I happily did it three times.
Well, thank you for being here and doing it again.
Let's also say hello to Chris Tinkle, everybody.
What's up, guys?
How's it going?
You're out of New York now, right?
No, I'm back on the West Coast.
You're back on the West Coast?
Yeah, way too cold out there for four months out of the year.
Oh, okay.
Well, yeah, if you're lucky.
I mean, the winter just seems to drag on and on on the East Coast these days.
Like, New York has two seasons now.
Like, nine months of winter and three months of hot summer.
Yeah, and they both suck.
They're both kind of extreme.
Yeah, I'll give them that.
All right, so you're out here on the West Coast.
And why Sacramento?
Oh, I was in town visiting a friend.
Oh, okay.
Well, it's my girlfriend.
I don't know why I was all awkward here.
I don't want the word to get out.
I'm getting ass.
Yeah, visiting a friend just sounded like you lied.
I just caught by myself. Jesus Christ. I'm getting ass. Yeah, visiting a friend sounded like you lied. I just caught by myself.
Jesus Christ.
I'm visiting my girlfriend, Doug.
She's awesome. Okay, yeah, great.
And she's real, too.
Yeah, you gotta...
I saw this guy looking at me.
Yeah, Valentine's Day is like, you know, right around the
corner, so you gotta be cool.
Well, you have to dump him on the 13th, right?
Is that the old trick? Is that the trick? I heard. Why, just to save money? Yeah. And then you got to be cool. Well, you have to dump them on the 13th, right? Is that the old trick? Is that the trick?
I heard. Why, just to save
money? Yeah. And then you try to
reunite on the 15th? Yeah.
I've been doing a lot of thinking.
And everything's on sale for 50% off.
She's not here,
is she? No. No.
Clearly also not going to listen to you.
She is. Not a podcast fan. All right, good. No. No. Clearly also not going to listen to it. You left the cat out of the bag. She is.
Not a podcast fan.
All right, good.
Perfect.
And also let's say hello to Sean Jordan, everybody.
What's happening, Sacktown?
Old Sack, as it were.
No.
I agree. I agree.
We had a lot of fun talking about old sack in the stand-up show we did here yesterday.
People
seem to think it's funny,
but this part of town
isn't old sack.
It's new sack.
There's actually a part of town that's called that.
Does it still have an old western-y street?
Yeah. That sounds street? Yeah.
That sounds awesome.
Yeah.
I like to stay right here by the
Capitol building. That's my
part of town.
Thank you all for
joining me today, and
please, starting with Sean,
tell me what you brought
to give away to a lucky audience member.
Well, I'm glad you asked, Doug. I will.
I brought...
I love that packaging.
Oh yeah, I guess the bag kind of counts, right?
Yeah. This old sack, you know?
It kind of counts.
Movie stuff. They've made a movie.
It's a beautiful...
Everything's in my nuts. It's a superhero
bag. Yeah, it's Batman, Superman,
Wonder Woman, and they've all had movies, so
it's movie related. Yeah, Superman's holding a heart.
And when I watch a movie, I like
to have some Sour Patch Kids, so I brought
a bag of mango. Check it out.
Mango. You weren't even
up on that. I had no idea those were real until
two hours ago. Yeah, hey, could you
pass those down? Yeah, are you
going to crack them open? Yeah. I figured you were going to
I thought somebody might not get their hands on this.
I just want to know what a mango sour patch tastes like. Aren't we all curious?
Yeah. I'll describe it.
And then
while you're ripping into that prize
for one of these lovely guests, I will
I'll keep going. You've got a resealable top.
So as long as I don't spit in here, we're cool.
Yeah, don't spit in there.
That'd be wild if you just open it up and spit in it.
And then gave it back.
All right, what else you got?
I have a milk chocolate Wonder Woman.
Okay, pass that down here.
It's gross.
It looks gross. It looks gross.
It looks really gross.
But someone's going to eat it.
And if you don't eat it, then you're grosser.
Eat it.
Then I have a little Star Wars mug with a little Valentine's Day heart thing in it.
Because, you know, Star Wars was a movie.
And Valentine's Day is right around the corner, as I heard Doug say.
Yeah.
It's Thursday.
That's what you give your girl on the 15th, right?
Yes.
Get her back.
So, yeah.
I really can't open this fucking bag.
Yeah, you're struggling.
You've been working on that?
I tore the thing across, and then I looked,
and just below it, it's like, tear here.
And so, either their fault or mine,
but somebody fucked up.
It's not.
I have a theory on whose fault it is.
Oh, I got it.
I got it.
Oh, there we go.
Thank you.
I don't like how they look.
All right.
The journey starts.
I mean, look at it.
Isn't that kind of a weird color?
It's almost got a little weird green thing inside of it.
It's an egg, I guess.
Like a mango, some would say.
Oh, it's supposed to be the leaf coming out of the top of the mango?
You know what's wild is the strawberry ones from yesterday,
they're kind of red.
They've got a little green part on the top.
They do?
Yeah.
I didn't know for those.
I wasn't as curious.
I could imagine
what a strawberry one
would taste like.
I didn't like
making eye contact
when you did that.
No, right?
He was looking
right at me.
And he did it like acid.
How sour is it?
I don't know the last time
I just put candy
on my tongue
and then let it go
into my mouth and just kind it go into my mouth.
Just kind of throw it in there.
What do you think?
It's alright.
We'll spit in it and put it back in the press bag.
It's all sealed up.
Chad, what do you got?
I got a Santa Cruz Film Festival tote bag here.
Wow.
Santa Cruz Film Festival tote bag.
I got a book by Richard Schickel
Called Keepers
The greatest films
And personal favorites of a movie going lifetime
And there's a Martin Scorsese
Quote on the back, so that's a read
Let me see that
Yeah, if you care about
One man's personal opinions on films
Richard Schickel.
And then I got a VHS tape of Child's Play.
Oh, nice.
The original.
It says, I like Leonard Maltin.
You can count on a good quote.
It says, it packs a wallop.
Leonard Maltin.
There's no way Leonard Maltin sat through Child's Play.
There's like four or five of these cinnamon toast crunch treat bars.
They're really bad.
I don't know why.
I'm just giving them because I didn't want them.
They're so good.
What do you mean they're bad?
They taste like a tummy ache.
They are not good.
And I have a cassette tape of Nine Inch Nails broken but it does not work.
It is
literally broken
so
it's a fun party trick.
You really fuck someone
over to party with that.
It does not work.
It will not play.
I know we're at a
Nine Inch Nails cassette party
but this one's busted.
So that is all my gifts.
Great job, Chad.
Thank you.
What do you got for us there, Chris?
I brought no snacks.
Sorry, guys.
I got my first two comedy albums on CD
in case anyone has a CD player still.
If not, sorry.
Or a VCR or a cassette player.
They're all...
They sync up perfectly
with Nine Inch Nails broken.
Thank you, Chris.
Welcome, sir.
All of that is going to be won by
somebody today. But before
we get to that, I've got some other
business to take care of. Sean,
you know what I'm going to ask.
Nine inches.
There's a movie
called Nine Inches? Yeah.
And you just saw it?
Saw it in the shower.
No, I know what you're going to ask.
What was the last
movie you saw?
I didn't want to be honest about it, but I watched
Geostorm the other day.
Whatever.
I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't horrible.
You know, it's like, it got me, made me tired.
Gerard Butler.
That's what you were looking for?
Yeah, I was chilling.
I was like, what's, what am I not going to have to invest in at all?
Just play Candy Crush, decompress.
And it was Geostorm, that one.
And watching Gerard Butler try to not have an accent is really funny.
When he's like, no, this is my American brother, and I'm Gerard Butler,
and here's my no-accent acting voice.
Yeah, it was really funny.
But, you know, the movie was, I don't know, it was passed. Anybody in here seen Ge no accent acting voice. And yeah, it was really funny. But you know, the movie was,
I don't know, it was passed.
Anybody in here seen Geostorm?
Crazy.
I didn't think that,
I didn't think I was going to get any of that.
But yeah, it was all right.
It got me there.
I wonder how long you really won't say anything
about this movie.
Well, it's...
All I know so far is the title.
It's called Geostar.
Geostar. I didn't know
too much about it. Who's in it?
Gerard Butler. Oh yeah.
I do know that now. Your main man, Gerard Butler.
I should have known that. That dude, Jim Sturgis, that was in
Oh, I like him. 21, I think.
Right? Is that what it was? Yeah, and he's in that Beatles
musical.
Yeah, yeah. Across the universe. That dude.
I really can't think of anyone else who was in it.
It's about a satellite that controls the weather
for the world.
And then the president, Andy
Garcia, in this movie, Andy Garcia is the
president. I forgot Andy Garcia.
The president is a Mexican?
Somebody show that to Trump's
staff.
I forgot Andy
Garcia was in it until I said that. Yeah, Andy Garcia
is the president.
And Ed Harris is the number one guy.
His, whatever, his sidekick.
What would you call it?
The vice president, maybe?
What would you call him?
His sidekick?
I don't think he was the vice president.
Secretary of State?
Defense?
I don't know, something.
Ed Harris, really?
The majority whip?
I don't know what he was.
He was something.
That is a weird combo. I think it was Ed Harris, really? The majority whip? I don't know what he was. He was something. That is a weird combo.
I think it was Ed Harris.
We're going to play a game about movies, right?
I should know this.
It's a satellite that controls the weather for the whole world
and some things
go awry.
The world gets some shitty weather
and it all turns into a geostorm.
It congeals. All these little storms congeal
into a big geostorm. Wait, geo is short It congeals all these little storms congeal into a big geo is short for the
word congeal.
They congeal congeal.
Good geo storm congeal.
And then there's a big storm and,
uh,
Jim Sturgis saves the day or no.
Gerard Butler saves the day.
Well,
I just went from not knowing much about it to knowing more than I needed.
You're forced me to talk about Geostorm so much.
I forced you.
Like, remember earlier today you said you saw Geostorm,
and I didn't even have a follow-up question?
Yeah.
The subject just changed immediately.
Chad, what was the last movie you saw?
I watched Can You Ever Forgive Me?
The one with Melissa McCarthy and Richard Grant.
It was very good.
I liked it a lot.
That got nominated for some stuff, didn't it?
Yep, both of them got nominated.
Good, good.
Thanks, Ruben.
And I think he's got a shot at winning, man.
Oh, he was awesome.
Yeah, he's great.
They got nominated for Geostorm 2.
Yeah.
They're both going to be in it.
Oh, they've already made a sequel?
No.
Geostorm 2, Can You Ever Forgive Me? sequel no um geostrong 2 can you ever forgive me
but you like that movie though right it was great yeah i thought it was really good it's
really interesting uh subject like i didn't really know anything about it going in and
apparently that stuff really happened it was really interesting i'd never seen anything on
that topic either i thought it was dope.
I don't know what it's about.
What's it about?
Well, there's this device that controls the weather.
Yeah.
No, you're talking about Geostorm.
I actually just saw that, so.
Well, we're talking about Geostorm, too.
Can you ever forgive me?
Sure.
And if you would please dive into what that's about a little bit.
Like he was trying to.
When you rudely interrupted him.
Well, how would you say,
like literary fraud?
Is that the...
Like she starts copying...
She wrote fake letters.
Yeah, fake letters from like old Hollywood stars.
Yeah, yeah.
And then she'd sell them at collector shops.
Old books.
For a lot of money.
Yeah, for a lot of money.
Yeah.
So that's why now she's saying,
can you ever forgive me? Because that was a terrible thing she did.
If you don't
want to fall asleep during a movie, you should watch Geostorm.
We did not do a good job
of selling that film. But it's good!
It is good. It's a good movie.
Yeah, and Richard E. Grant's like her
friend that comes around. Like a drinking buddy. He's always fun. Until it's a good movie. Good movie. Yeah, and Richard E. Grant's like her friend that comes around.
Like a drinking buddy.
He's always fun.
Yeah.
Until it's not fun anymore.
I've said too much.
Yeah.
Chris Tickle, what was the last movie you saw?
I saw Glass.
Okay.
I, of course, was very excited about that because I liked the movie Unbreakable very much,
and Split was pretty good.
And I lost all
steam in seeing it because
everyone's just saying it's terrible.
The first time in history that
one movie ruined two franchises.
Amazing.
It was so
fucking bad. I'm sorry.
If you would, are you in my Shyamalan's
cousin or something? It was so bad.
So bad. Really bad.
Because the first one, great, Unbreakable.
And then I liked the other one.
I mean, what's his name?
Killed It.
Chance McAvoy?
Yeah, Split.
And then Bruce Willis just comes in all lazy and old and tired.
Doesn't even fucking try.
Can't get mad at somebody for being old and tired.
Lazy, sure, but you know.
Dude, he's making like five million.
Put a smile on your face, dick.
Wow.
But wait, his character's all serious and sad, though.
It's even worse this time.
He doesn't smile a lot in the first Unbreakable.
But, you know, what are you going to do?
Not make Unbreakable 4, that's for sure.
I think it's done
I think
Yeah well I mean
There was a long time
Between those movies
So
Yeah
It was
Yeah he tried
I still want to see it
It is getting such
I'll watch the shit
Out of it on a plane
Yeah
Yeah
It's a glowing review
But right now
Right now I'm just busy
You know watching
All the Oscar nominees
because I'm going to try
to see every single one
of them before the Oscars
and it's,
it's a lot of work.
You'll get there.
I got faith in you.
How many you got left?
I probably won't,
but thank you.
Still got like 15 left
or something like that.
Jesus.
You got time,
what, two weeks?
Yeah.
You can watch 15 movies
in two weeks.
Yeah,
the trouble is availability.
Some of them are in theaters or on home,
whatever they call it now.
Okay.
On demand.
Geostorm.
Pirate Bay?
Pirate Bay.
Does that still work?
No.
I tried to use it.
It wouldn't work, and I was like,
argh!
That's so sketchy.
All right, well,
that's a great job, you guys.
You saw some movies.
I'd call Geostorm an experience,
not really a movie.
Or a documentary. Do you think it would have been better
on the big screen? Yeah.
That's one where you're like,
all right, I'm Max, I'm buying some popcorn,
I'm going to sneak in some liquor. You don't watch it on your fucking MacBook Pro. Not a big deal. Not a big deal. It's one where you're like, all right, I'm Max, I'm buying some popcorn, I'm going to sneak in some liquor.
You don't watch it on your fucking MacBook Pro.
Not a big deal.
It's a MacBook Pro.
Show Andy Garcia the respect he deserves.
You mean the president?
Yes.
I'm sorry.
President Garcia.
Call Andy to his face.
You're right.
I can't tell what's going on. President Andy, I like that. You're right.
I can't tell what's going on. President Andy.
I like that.
President Andy Garcia.
What a world we live in in the Geostorm.
And it's right-hand man.
This is like, it's only February, and this is the third time in conversations people
have brought up Andy Garcia.
And I think there's going to be a Garcia-sance. Like the McCona-sance.
You know, remember when he was suddenly and everything?
Yeah.
I think it's going to happen with Andy.
I like Andy Garcia a lot.
He's dope.
I think he's a good actor.
Good voice.
Yeah.
I'm an Andy Garcia fan.
Fandy Garcia.
Yeah.
The other people...
The other people I was talking to him about weren't as into him.
But that's cool.
You were talking to other people?
Yeah, that's what I said.
Yeah, yeah, no, I know.
Hey, is Gerard Butler in Geostorm?
Yeah.
That popular documentary
about climate change?
Yeah, Gerard Butler is in that.
Turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin!
I want to periscope this
because we got a lot of great name tags for you guys to choose from.
And while you do it, we'll go to a brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
Hey, no sponsors this episode.
So I just wanted to ask you guys to come see me do a Doug Loves Movies taping in Raleigh, North Carolina next Saturday
February 16th
and then lots more
Douglas Movies tapings
all over the place
for the rest of this year and beyond
go to DouglasMovies.com
for more info
but you knew that
back to the show
oh yes there is foe, but you knew that. Back to the show!
Oh!
Yes! Yes!
We're back!
I just,
I can't see a world where I do that
and the same thing happens.
We were in a commercial break, so that
sentence you just said made no sense to the
listeners. Oh, yeah, you're right.
You're right. But Chad
did another role for us, and
you can check it out on Periscope until the video
goes away. Who are you playing for, Sean?
I actually didn't even get to
reading that yet.
Carlos, I believe.
I got caught with all the Kit Kats.
No, I'm a dipshit.
It says Carlos would have pickedats. No, I'm a dipshit. It says Carlos would
have picked me.
Oh, and Carlos Rodriguez
was one of the guests.
Fa, fa, fa!
Where's your name on here?
With that negative attitude, you still got picked.
Oh, Valerie. Yeah, yeah, alright.
Valerie.
Yeah, alright. I apologize.
The Kit Kats jumped out at me and I
was immediately attracted to the sign. It, all right. I apologize. The Kit Kats jumped out at me, and I was immediately attracted to the sign.
It just looks fun.
Yeah, there's a lot of Kit Kats, and you've got to fly home tonight, so that's going to
be a treat.
I know.
I'm excited about it.
We're going to win, Valerie.
Oh, that's good of you.
Calling my shot.
Chris, you're pissed.
Yeah.
What do you got, Chad?
I got Jose Anything.
No way.
Man.
Featuring Doug as John Cusack.
I like them and Peter Gabriel, so I had to go with Jose Anything.
Yeah, and there's also a food attached, yes.
Yes, there's donuts.
Yeah, you got a nice bag of Donettis.
Are you going to keep those? I can give them to you if you donuts. Yeah, you got a nice bag of Donettis. Are you going to keep those?
I can give them to you if you want.
No, you don't have to give them to me.
I'm just, you know, you picked it more for the say anything than for the donuts.
This is true.
I did.
We can share.
Yeah, whatever.
We can bust it.
I mean, I don't want them.
I mean, that's why.
You don't want them?
Yeah, that's why I started throwing donuts into the crowd is because I don't want them.
I'll take them.
I'll tell you, I would keep them if I wanted them.
I wouldn't just throw them at people.
Jose put an envelope on the back for the shit,
which is tight.
Yeah, it's like a lot of thought and effort in there.
I like that.
Oh, yeah, people do really do it up.
Yeah, yeah.
Especially in Sacto.
Yeah.
I call it Old Sack, but that's neither here nor there.
Because it is over there.
Yeah, it's over there.
It's in another part of town.
Chris Tinkle, who are you playing for?
Doug Benson's full metal joke it.
Joke it?
Yes.
So it's somebody named Joe.
Yes.
All right, cool.
Dude, that joke was so funny when I was walking around.
I was like, that's fucking hilarious.
And now you're right.
Now we should just be on the ground like that.
He fooled me.
It was a lighting.
I thought it was fucking hilarious.
Maybe it was the weed.
I don't know.
And you're right.
I was like, that's fucking hilarious.
And now I'm like, you know, not so much.
There was a guy in the front row yesterday
at the stand-up show.
He brought one that was full metal Jacob.
So shout out to that guy. He was a guy in the front row yesterday at the stand-up show, and he brought one that was full metal Jacob. So shout out to that guy.
He was a lot of fun.
What?
Shh.
No spoilers, but yeah, he did win.
All right, so that's who you guys are playing for.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nailed it.
Put a little button on that.
Let's start with a game that I very much enjoy playing called Alex's, Jason, and Deb's IMDb Game.
Have you played this one before, Chris Tinkle?
No, I have not.
What I'm going to do is I'm going to...
Who's hungry for Donettis?
Donettis, huh?
Right into hands.
That's how I do it.
I put it into the hands
I'm the Tom Brady of donut throwing
Good job
But I'm not the Tom Brady of anything else
Yeah, I was gonna say
Don't compare yourself to fucking Tom Brady
I'll be in Boston on April 20th
If you wanna come yell at me
How dare you speak that way
That was a great Boston accent
Alright, so...
On IMDb, they list four credits
that someone is best known for,
and it's very confusing when you look at it.
Like, one of my things I'm best known for
is a documentary about a comedy festival in Portland
that I'm in for, like, a minute.
Did it even come out?
What is it?
Yeah, right?
I don't know if it ever came out. I come out? What is it? Yeah, right?
I don't know if it ever came out. I don't even know if it really exists.
Fucking crazy.
But it's in my top four on IMDb,
so check it out.
But I'm very proud of the other things
that made the top four.
Super Ivy didn't make it, though.
That's weird.
Anyway, so I'll start reading
the movie someone is best known for.
And then you buzz in with your own name when you think you know it.
And then you guess.
But if you guess wrong, it's negative one point.
So definitely hold back until you're absolutely sure.
Unless you want to be a wild man and just go for it.
Fucking don't test me, dude.
You know what I mean?
Like if the first movie
is Jerry Maguire
and you're like,
Chris!
And then, well,
who from Jerry Maguire?
It could be anybody.
Anyone who weighs eight pounds.
It's probably Cuba Gooding Jr.
Probably.
Right?
But you don't know.
All right.
And then...
That'd be weird if it was.
And then the person
who gets it right
can also get bonus points
for naming more movies,
but I'll walk you through that part when we get to it.
All right?
Jay Moore.
I was just doing another Jerry Maguire thing.
It was a joke.
But yeah, of course.
So you say we buzz in.
With your own name.
Just say Chad.
When you think you know it.
Yeah, that's the name you want to go with.
Chad.
I'd be like, Chad.
Chad.
So you could just say it like yours, Chad. Can I just buzz?
Yeah.
Can we do that?
I don't know.
You want to make a buzzer noise?
Chris.
I like that.
I was wondering if that's what we should do.
Yeah, okay, you could do that.
It's not jarring.
Yeah, it's fine.
Yeah.
It's jarring.
I think it's jarring.
Yeah, it'll be fine.
All right, here we go.
Let's roll.
Here's the first round.
Fucking, let's do it. A few rounds and maybe a tiebreaker. be fine. Alright, here we go. Here's the first round.
Maybe a tiebreaker.
Who's top four best known for starts with
a movie called Steel.
S-T-E-E-L.
Alright.
Then the second movie
listed is
The Lego movie.
The first part.
Then, Scary Movie 4.
Chris?
Chris?
This is a wild card.
It just sounds like you're assuming you're going to get it wrong.
Or I was having a little stroke.
It sounded like somebody said, who has to take a shit real bad?
Chris.
Chris.
Is it Shaquille O'Neal?
That is correct.
Oh!
All right.
That was a good hit.
I never would have got that.
Now here's how the bonus point works.
There's one more in his top four.
If you can name it right now,
I'll give you one more point.
Shazam?
That is correct.
Yeah.
Kazam.
What did he say?
Shazam.
Oh shit, that's wrong
Oh yeah, wrong
Oh
Hey dickhead
Way to put your dick in my Cheerios
No one else knew
You nerd
They would've figured out later on
And then would've been outraged on Twitter
But shit
What kind of tiny dick is he putting in your Cheerios?
Well he's not fucking eating individual Cheerio He just put his dick in the bowl Oh, not in your Cheerios? Well, he's not fucking eating individual Cheerio.
He's just putting his dick in the bowl.
Not in the Cheerios as a group.
Stop fucking every Cheerio in my bowl.
That'd be weird.
Swinging a bunch of Cheerios
on a tiny, tiny dick.
Hey, what are you doing
tonight? It's Saturday night. Oh, I'm going to fuck some
SpaghettiOs.
I thought
the game was if you rhyme the title,
you also got a point. Oh, if it rhymes?
No. Shit.
Later in the game,
I will not accept Kindler's list.
Shout out
to my friend Andy Kindler.
All right, so
I didn't even look down.
You said it.
I was so excited.
Me too.
It's called Kazam, yeah.
But you still are in the lead with one point.
So don't, you know, your Cheerios aren't completely ruined.
Hope you're happy, sir.
Yes, they are.
You can't eat them now.
Just eat around the ones that got dicked.
The Cheerios that got dicked.
I didn't think I'd hear that today.
Yeah.
Alright, so
like I said, Chris has one point.
Here's the next round.
The first four in this
versus top four.
This one's not going to go well.
The Twilight
Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2.
Oh.
That's the first title.
The second one
is The Twilight Saga
Breaking Dawn
Part 1.
Sean.
Oh, shit, Sean.
I don't know about this.
Peter Facinelli. Oh, yes, Sean. I'm going to be a wild man. I don't know about this.
Peter Facinelli.
Oh, yes.
That is interesting.
I just kind of been wanting to say that name all day, so.
I've been wanting to dig a Cheerio since breakfast.
Incorrect.
I figured as much, but didn't we have a good time with that?
That was fun, right?
You do make it fun.
All right, the third title, no surprise here,
The Twilight Saga.
Get out of town.
Eclipse.
And then the fourth title, and I'm guessing nobody's going to buzz in after I say it,
is The Twilight Saga.
Fuck.
New Moon.
So how many?
There's like five of those movies
and this person's IMDb is four of them.
God damn.
Yeah.
One of you buzz in.
Well, there's like...
They don't want to get a negative one.
Have fun.
Live life, you know?
What are we doing?
They can just lay back and not hurt themselves
I tried to live life and he put his dick in my Cheerios
He's living his life
I do hope, sir
The person who said it was Kazam
I do hope that you do try
Putting your dick in some Cheerios
That would be
Really think about that.
Picture somebody trying to put your version of a dick
in some Cheerios. That would be
hilarious. Well, however big you think
it's going to be into a Cheerio.
Boy, that'd be funny.
Honey, I shrunk my dick.
Isn't Cheerios in that movie, too?
Aren't they prominently featured?
Isn't Cheerios in that movie too?
Aren't they prominently featured?
Did you ever see Honey, I Blew the Baby?
I did.
Blew up, blew up, blew up.
Which isn't necessarily better.
That you blew up the baby.
Yeah.
But I guess Honey, I Made the Baby Really Big doesn't work.
Honey, I Made the baby into a giant baby.
So they went and blew up.
I'm finding a way to turn all these into boner references.
So yeah, I mean, it does work.
The actor that was in all those films goes by the name Kellen Lutz.
Yeah, I wouldn't know how to pick that.
That was a tough one, you guys.
Nope.
I used to live like five blocks from that house, the Twilight house in Portland.
And we went to see it one time.
I never watched Twilight, but we went to see it and this family pulled up and we were standing there.
It was me and my two roommates
and the dad just didn't want to be there, you could tell.
And they walked up and he was like,
is this your house? Can we go look?
And I'm like, definitely not my house, my friend.
One of those bad stories I was telling at lunch earlier.
Anyway.
Yeah, I said none of those on my show.
I tried.
I tried to not.
I was like, this is lunch.
It's fine.
It's fine at lunch, but don't fucking ruin my show with the story that ends with, no,
that's not my house.
Is my face getting red?
Most of your stories end with that.
No, it's not my house.
Because you don't have a house.
So every house you see, it's not my house. Because you don't have a house. So every house you see has not mine.
Wow.
Now it hurts.
The other thing I should tell you guys that haven't
played this before is that a potential
theme, you might recognize a theme in the answers
and that might help you.
So far we've got Shaquille O'Neal and
Kellen Lutz and this next
round starts with a TV show.
Sometimes TV shows work their way into the credits.
And the first one is 30 Rock.
Or also 30 Rock.
Somebody in the audience said an answer, so please don't do that.
That's okay.
As long as it's not Amy Adams.
I was here. You were here when that happened
That was the last time I was here
It was gnarly
Nobody buzzing in on 30 Rock
Which is smart
But then the second movie
Somebody's gonna buzz in for sure
Cop Out
Chris
Chris
Tracy Morgan
That's correct
Tracy Morgan
So now you get to name
two more movies that Tracy Morgan is
in and if you get either of these
I will be very impressed.
This isn't some Shazam Kazam
shit.
Fist Fight?
No. Fudge Balls?
No.
No.
Shoot.
Say Fuck Balls? I don't think you'd ever say these. The Box Trolls? What? Fuckballs. No. No? Ah, shoot.
Say fuckballs?
I don't think you'd ever say these.
The Box Trolls.
What?
And Superhero Movie.
What the fuck? Yeah.
Oh, is that one of those weird...
Which is like a parody of all the superheroes.
That's weird.
He's been in Better Stuff.
Why'd they put that on there?
You know, that's what I don't understand about it.
Box Trolls was, all right.
But it makes for a fun game game because it's so weird.
It's so odd what they choose.
All right, so, Chris, you've got two points now.
You're out in the lead, so...
What is the theme?
Time for a bold move from Sean or Chad.
The first title is The Curious Case of Benji Button.
Now, Doug... That's what I call it. It's of Benji Button. Now, Doug.
That's what I call it.
It's Benjamin.
Benjamin Button.
The Curious Case.
The next title is Hidden Figures.
Followed by
followed by Followed by... Followed by...
Hustle and flow.
Get the fuck out of here.
I have to stay. It's my show.
Sean?
And finally...
Oh, you're going for it?
Is it Terrence Howard?
No!
Fuck, man.
You might have the worst score anybody's gotten at this game I didn't need to hear that, did I?
But you went for it, dude
And the fourth title is The Karate Kid
What?
Do you know the more recent one, not the old one?
You mean Ralph Macchio's not
in Benji Button?
What? The one with Will Smith's kid.
What was the second? I know I'm out,
but what was the second movie you said?
Oh, Hidden Figures.
About the space program
and the ladies who made it happen.
Oh, fuck, man.
I think I got it. I have no idea.
I was thinking of different movies. Yeah, it's Taraji P. Hansen. Yeah, fuck, man. I think I got it. I have no idea. I was thinking of different movies.
I think I got it.
Yeah, it's Taraji P. Hanson.
Yeah, Taraji P. Hanson.
And she's on that TV show
that's really huge, right?
Empire.
Empire.
That didn't make it into her top four.
The first one's Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
I can't even remember when she did that.
She took care of him.
She was his mom.
She was just around for...
Well, his dad left him on a doorstep like a prick.
Does she have to have like old age makeup in it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
At the end she was right.
Yeah.
You mean at the beginning?
Hold on.
My brain's in a pretzel.
I can,
now I can't function.
What am I supposed to do?
Uh,
all right.
So congratulations to Chris Tinkle winning that game.
You did it, buddy.
Would you like to throw some donuts into the audience?
Yes.
That's the way to throw them when they're in a fucking package.
I feel so bad getting everyone messy.
I don't.
You just threw the whole package at somebody.
You just threw it.
You barely even asked. God. I want to throw it there, but I'm afraid, it's good. I don't. You just threw the whole package at somebody. You just threw it... You barely even asked.
I want to throw it there, but I'm afraid I'm going to hit somebody.
Yeah, you get consent first.
Goddamn wild man over here. He caught it.
Once she turns around, wham!
There's people at the bar holding their hands up.
That's pretty tight.
Nice. I'm going to throw one of these.
What was that? I'm going to do it. I don't like doing it,
but I'm going to do it. I'm going to throw it to the back. I'm going to do it like Nolan Ryan.
Or Dennis Eckersley, sidearm.
Somebody catch it?
Son of a gun. I threw it pretty cool, right?
Yuck.
Wait, what was the theme?
Oh, uh...
Oh, no.
Did anyone catch a theme with those?
They're all in the movie currently playing called What Men Want.
Oh.
You would have guessed what?
I should have figured that out.
Come on.
For a sec, I was like, Tracy McGrady is a basketball player's name,
and I was trying to think of a basketball player named Kellen,
and I couldn't because Shaquille O'Neal's a basketball player.
Anyway, that's where my name is.
Right, Kellen Winslow?
What?
Nothing.
All right, so this next game we're going to play,
what happened, did anybody hear the show from Dallas last week?
We did a game of, we did a round of ABCD's Nuts,
and Chris Cubis matched me,
had the same answer as me on the very first title.
No way.
Yeah.
All right.
And so the game was over, and I read all the
answers but you guys haven't heard it so
I want to try to play it again.
Alright. Yeah.
And how this works, Chris,
is
I'll give you a letter and you name any movie
that begins with that letter and
if it matches the movie that I
wrote down ahead of time,
then you just win automatically.
But to just stay in the game,
you have to just name a movie.
And we spell things,
and since it was Groundhog Day last Saturday,
we were spelling Groundhog Day.
So starting with the letter G.
Ned?
Huh?
Ned Ryerson?
That's the film, yes.
What an uncanny bill murray impression i'm gonna can i order can i order a drink can i get a jameson on the rocks please jameson on the rocks thank you so much sorry about that
stop the tracks i apologize all right um i just want to make sure everybody understands the game
um especially the people on stage. So we'll start with Chris
with the letter G.
Net the head.
And then we'll go to
Chad and
eventually we'll go,
we'll get to the great story time.
My answer is
Geostorm.
Call back.
That is a great answer.
I should tell you though
that a theme will emerge in this one.
Well,
you might not notice it, but
thank you for bringing Sean
his drink.
Obviously, I need it.
Thank you to the entire staff here at the
Sack Punch.
Yeah.
So last week I had written down Ghostbusters
as my G and that's
what Chris said so he matched
and so this time just for fun I changed it
to Ghostbusters 2
In case somebody
said Ghostbusters
Are we spelling out the T-W?
Huh?
Chad, your letter is R
Robocop.
Nice.
I wrote Rock the Casbah.
O is your letter, Sean.
O, the movie O.
O, yeah.
Othello and Josh Hartnett.
Othello, yeah.
But it's just called O, right?
It had Julie Stiles.
Nikai Pfeiffer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Josh Hartnett and Julie Stiles, right?
Yeah.
I know some shitfeiffer. Yeah. And Josh Harden and Julie Stiles, right? Yeah. I know some shit
about movies.
Damn.
What do you know
about Osmosis Jones?
There you go.
I know that's...
Yeah, Alex Jones'
real first name.
That'd be fucking awesome.
The next letter is U.
For Chris Chris Under the
Tuscan sun
Nice
Featuring Sandra Oh
I went with a movie called
Unstrung Heroes
Chad the next letter is N
National Lampoon's
Christmas Vacation
Oh I love when people say National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Oh, I love when people say National Lampoon's,
because that is the title.
I went with Nothing Lasts Forever.
What's that?
There's a game could last forever.
No, it only lasts until we're done spelling Groundhog Day.
Okay, okay, okay.
D is the next letter, Sean.
Dog Day Afternoon?
That's not what you picked, I get it.
But you're still in the game.
This is a sad game to be eliminated from.
It happens.
It's wild when it happens.
I went with Dumb and Dumber 2.
T-O.
H is the next letter.
Chris.
K-R-I-S.
Tinkle, by the way, if you want to look him up on social medias.
Yes.
The happening.
Is that okay, sir?
Is that all right?
Or is it with a T?
It's not happening.
No.
Happening, right?
Yeah, that's not happening.
Noi, noi. Not It's not happening. No. Happening, right? Yeah, that's not it. Noi, noi, noi.
Not noi, not Eva.
Eva.
Oh, no?
Oh, shit.
Yeah, it's the happening.
Are you fucking... It begins with the letter T.
When did you get to be such a stickler, Doug?
You used to be all chill and just high and like, fuck it, dude.
Who cares?
Close enough.
It's in the alphabet.
Fuck it.
He's high.
That was his rules and shit. I guarantee he's high. Very frustrating, dude. Who cares? Close enough. It's in the alphabet. Fuck it. He's high. That was his rules and shit.
I guarantee he's high.
Very frustrating, Doug. Okay.
Alright, what's this thing again? What's the letter?
You got me all...
And then I just look down and start to joke again.
Alright.
Happy Gilmore. Joke it. Metal joke it.
You're going Happy Gilmore. That's a good one.
Good answer. I went with Hamlet.
What?
Back to...
The world is this theme.
I know, right?
It's crazy.
The Hamlet that had a bunch of people in it.
O is the next letter.
Out for Justice.
Oh, hell yeah.
Steven Seagal.
Yeah, I loved all those Steven Seagal titles.
Out for Bobby LePo.
Yeah. Bobby LePo. Only the Brave is what I picked.
Okay.
All right, now I feel strongly you have a chance here with this next letter.
I don't, but...
What do you got for G?
I feel like I should know the theme is what you were saying, and I do not.
No, I'm just thinking this is the movie you're going to say for the letter G.
Oh, well, all right, Game Night is what I'm just thinking this is the movie you're going to say for the letter G. Oh, well, alright.
Game Night is what I'm going to say.
It does begin with the letter G, but I...
I'm aware, and now I feel like a dipshit.
Because everybody thought I was going to say something different.
I went with Garfield.
Does everybody know the theme except me?
Not the sequel. Not part two,
Tale of Two Kitties.
Not to put Chad on blast real quick,
but he just leaned over to me and he goes,
for real, there's a theme with this?
As I did just put you on blast,
but there is a theme.
One of us should know these movies,
and I feel like it's really escaping me what it is.
It's not a cut and dried theme.
It's a little tricky,
but you'll love it when I reveal it at the end
Will I?
Or will I break this fucking name tag?
When I tell you what the theme is
You're going to run out and buy a house
The letter for
It's the laugh of somebody who knows the theme
And I don't
It's frustrating
No, I was just making fun of him not having a house.
D is the next letter.
Chris?
Day after tomorrow.
Isn't it now?
Isn't it the day after tomorrow?
God damn it.
Get a hold of yourself.
I'm about to lose my shit.
I'm about to lose mine.. I'm about to lose mine.
So you want to try another one?
God damn it.
Yeah, just say any movie that begins with D.
Dave.
There you go.
Easy. Easy peasy.
Was that the one with Ed O'Neill?
What?
No, Dave was.
Kevin Kline.
Yeah, Kevin Kline was the president.
He's like the guy that's like, hey, I'm walking down the street, now I'm president?
Hold on, Andy Garcia's the president.
I just saw a documentary called Cheeto Storm.
That's right.
President Andy Garcia, would you like a drink, is what I say.
D is the next letter for Chad.
D is?
Oh, sorry. I need to say what my D was.
This is only going to confuse
you guys further. In a cheerio?
Because my D was...
My D is
Daydream Nation.
Yeah, I had never heard of it.
But I wrote it down.
Hey, back to you. And you're not going to get it.
I'm not
Aliens?
Oh, I like it
I went with
A glimpse inside the mind of Charles Swan
Dear God
Another movie I'd never heard of
And to finish it off, Chris, what do you got for the letter Y?
Hold on My name is
Sean. Oh, you still have to do...
Wait, what? I thought you just... Oh, you're right.
You're right. Yeah, it should be on Y.
I think I cracked the case.
I think I figured it out.
Yeah, I will. I will.
E2 Mama Tambien.
I don't really think I cracked the case.
That was what we call a bit in the business. I love that for the letter Y the case. That was what we call a bit
in the business. I love that for the letter Y, though.
That's a great answer for that.
And my voice did crack while I was saying it. I have to address that.
I know we all heard that.
That was a bummer that that happened.
I went with a movie called
You May Now Kiss the Bride
that featured
the man who played Ned Ryerson in Groundhog Day.
Shit.
Steven Tobolowsky.
And then all of those movies feature Bill Murray or Andy McDowell, who are both in Groundhog Day.
Now, indulge me.
Is it crazy to ask those?
That is.
I'll listen.
Yeah, I just want to hear
all the movies again.
Oh, I'd be happy
to say them again.
Can we?
Yeah, will you do it?
Ghostbusters 2, Bill Murray.
Rock the Casbah, Bill Murray.
Osmosis Jones, Bill Murray.
Unstrung Heroes, Andy McDowell.
Nothing Lasts Forever, Bill Murray.
Dumb and Dumber 2, Bill Murray.
Hamlet, Bill Murray. Don and Dumber 2 Bill Murray Hamlet Bill Murray
Don't take a tone on Hamlet
Notice how he really
Ripped into Hamlet on me
Well cause it was
You know
Like Kenneth Branagh
Directed it
And it had like
Jack Lemmon
And Walter Matthau
And Robin Williams
It was crazy
I just did that nod
Where I was like
Yeah I don't know
I didn't know any of that
Yeah
Then Only the Brave
With Andy McDowell
Garfield
Bill Murray
Daydream Nation Is something that Andy McDowell, Garfield, Bill Murray, Daydream Nation
is something that Andy McDowell's in, and
Bill Murray's in a movie called A Glimpse
Inside the Mind of Charles Swan. I'd never even
heard of it. And Stephen
Tobolowsky's in that last one. So yeah.
Wild. Yeah. And you knew that
theme. Some people in this crowd
knew that theme. That's fucking crazy.
What a journey. Well, they at least figured out the Bill
Murray part, because the first three movies are just clearly
Bill Murray movies.
I did not.
I did not figure that out.
So nobody won that game.
So Chris gets to go first in this next game
since he won the first game and you can also
throw some more donuts. Oh, hell yeah.
Who wants chocolate?
Throw them this way this time.
Oh, shit.
Damn. That was a good catch.
I'm throwing another little donut.
Can I get some?
Alright, right here. It's going right here.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Going over there? Yeah!
Oh,
that one had some heat over him.
He knocked his hat off
god I didn't know
we were in a war
it is fun to throw it
like over
you know just really hard
but fast
there was a guy
where was
isn't this a place
where a guy would sit
right here with like
a target on his shirt
or was that another
another place
and I would just
hit it
sounds like it was
another place
I would hit it so hard.
What happened?
Are you okay, ma'am?
You want these?
Okay, I'm going to put them right in your hands.
You ready?
Walk down and put them in your hands.
I'm going to throw it hard.
Do it, do it.
I'm going to fastball this shit.
That's not how you throw
a fastball. Nice!
What if Roger Clemens or the Freak was just
like, I'm going to throw you a fastball.
Here comes the heater.
It's coming.
Oh, you're not going to
like it. I'll say it's going to be
fast, too. Did I say it's going to be a fastball?
Yuck!
Oh my God.
We've got so many donuts.
We still have these boxes of donuts.
Are milk money donuts, like, super fancy?
Because I don't want to make a mess in this beautiful club.
Milk.
I know.
Oh, jeez.
Those are good.
Don't.
No, don't throw those.
Don't toss those.
You're not going to throw.
Are you going to throw those?
They're too beautiful.
This one has all the crumbs on it.
This one would be really messy if I throw it.
Yeah.
Doug!
Oh my god!
It definitely has something inside of that too.
It is squirted all over the floor.
That was definitely a stuffed donut, right?
Way to go, Doug.
That was fucking crazy.
That was like throwing a German chocolate cake across the room.
Coconut everywhere.
Oh, shit.
Okay, do you want to try again?
Wait, yeah, her, her.
Don't throw it like a...
Oh, it's her, her. Don't throw it like a dog.
Oh, it's... Dog!
Dog!
There's so many crumbs.
It looks like you have dandruff now on your hoodie.
Oh, my God!
Oh!
That was wild. I feel like I'm in a Slipknot concert.
Like, you know. That was wild. I feel like I'm in a Slipknot concert. Like, you know.
That was fucking nuts.
That's turned into a fucking Gallagher show.
That was crazy.
Oh, dude.
I'm going to slate tamer.
The front rows will get wet with crumbs.
I went to an ICP concert once, and I was covered in Faygo,
and I was thrilled about it.
So if that's anything like what just happened.
Covered in what?
The soda.
Yeah, I didn't want to say it again
because it sounded bad,
but it's the soda that they're...
They have their own brand of soda.
No, they don't have their own.
It's like a budget soda called Faygo.
F-A-Y-G-O.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I've heard of that.
They have chocolate soda.
And the insane clown posse
sprayed that stuff on you?
They spray it on their dog.
I'll take you to school real quick.
I used to be a big ICP fan.
Wait, they spray it on the dog
and then the dog shakes and it gets everybody wet?
That'd be genius, dude.
No, they take like a fire hose of soda
that they'll just do over the whole fucking crowd.
Oh, I see.
I didn't know we were going to dive in this hard, but yeah.
I paid my own money to go to an ICP show when I was like 17.
Well, I mean, you started off with the ICP thing,
so you're already losing a lot of people.
Because nobody's walking around wondering
what the initials of Insane Clown Posse are,
except for fans like you.
See, now, Doug's voice cracked.
That wasn't mine.
It was Doug's voice that cracked that time.
I'm old enough to admit
that I went to an ICP show,
and I loved it.
It's still one of the best live shows
I've ever seen in my whole life.
ICP and GWAR.
Two best shows I've seen.
What are we, Sacramento?
And what did you get on you
at the GWAR show?
I know, right?
A lot of fucking fake blood.
You only like shows
where they spray shit on you?
Yeah.
They're better. He's all fucking SeaWorld rules.
Shamu
fucking splashes you. It's awesome.
I saw Britney Spears and, you know, it wasn't
What did she spray you with?
That's what I'm saying. I'll go to that show.
Was it toxic?
You dirty birds. No, it was crazy. Was it toxic?
You dirty birds.
No, it was crazy.
All right.
Well, let's determine a winner today with a little game called Last Man Stanton.
Crumbs all over you.
I'm covered in crumbs.
It makes me nervous.
You know why you're covered in crumbs?
Because you crushed up a donut and spilled crumbs everywhere
and then threw it.
No, I just held it.
They were very loose on there, the crumbs.
You say what you want.
I was here.
I mean, she'll tell you.
I didn't crush the donut.
It was a perfectly pristine donut.
They're sharing it.
They're enjoying it over there. She was just lickingistine donut. They're enjoying it over there.
She was just licking her thumbs like, no, it's good.
She's going to write a blog later.
My first donut.
I'd never had one until it was thrown
at me.
Is that how you read blogs in your head?
I thought First Man sucked.
Doesn't like First Man, I do. We're at odds on that. I didn't Man sucked. Doesn't like First Man, I do.
We're at odds on that.
Yeah, he's super into it.
I didn't hate it.
I thought it was well made.
I just didn't get into it.
I didn't get into it.
I just picture you doing that
when you're into a movie.
Oh yeah, I'm just like,
oh, this is good.
You're on a fucking...
I sit still when I'm bored
Last Man Standing
We're going to get the name of an actor or actress
From a pre-selected audience member
And then I play along
And we take turns saying movies they were in
If you can't think of one, you're out
But you got one lifeline
You can go to Full Metal Joket
One time for help And Chad can go to Oh Say. You can go to Full Metal Joket one time for help
and Chad can go to...
O'Say Anything.
O'Say Anything.
I'll go to Valerie.
O'Say Anything.
I won't need to
because we're going to fucking win.
We might not.
We might not.
I mean,
these guys are...
I mean, one of them...
Sober?
Yes, that's their secret
I picked a person
in the audience to give us a name
he's saying it like a secret
don't tell anybody
I picked someone who
straight up wrote to me and said
I've got two names
dog
spot blown
and sounds like both of the names are
people that are from Sacramento.
Old Sac?
Stop saying that.
I said it long before we got here,
and I'll keep saying it.
It's nothing to do with Sacramento.
Where is Paul Dorn?
Oh, my God. Why'd you say, is Paul Dorn? Oh, my God.
Why'd you say, oh, my God?
Yeah, oh, my God.
Like, you just found out that's his real name for real.
Yeah.
Paul Dorn.
Like, he's been telling you, my name's Paul Dorn.
And then Doug just said it, and you're like, oh, my God, it is your fucking name?
I wanted to be with a Steve.
Put your hand.
All right.
All right, Paul Dorn, what have you got for us?
Sam Elliott. Sam Elliott. Good one. I like it. Alright, Paul Dorn, what have you got for us? Sam Elliott.
Sam Elliott! I like it.
He was from, he is from
Sacramento? Oh, I thought you were going to name a movie.
That's awesome.
Okay, and then who's your second name?
Jessica Chastain.
So we're doing Sam Elliott
and Jessica Chastain.
Cool. Are there two T's
in Elliott?
No one's going to see it.
I don't know.
I will see it.
I'm looking right at it.
I have no idea.
And you know I love accuracy.
That was tight.
Chris, you get to start us off.
Any movie that's got one of those two peeps in it.
Roadhouse.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, pain don't hurt.
That's right.
That's a classic.
Patrick Swayze says that.
I know, I'm just saying quotes from Roadhouse.
But Sam Elliott says,
Don't eat the yellow, or wait, don't eat the
blue mint after
he comes out of the bathroom.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, like, that's so weird, right?
Is there a problem there with people eating the mints?
Yeah. You tell them not to?
What'd you do with the double D? Well, I went in and went straight to the
pisser and ate the mint that was sitting in there.
But nobody liked it.
We saved Sam Elliott, dude.
Do you know why the bar in Roadhouse
is called the Double Deuce?
Oh, Double Deuce. I thought it was the Double Door.
It's called Double Deuce.
You know why?
No.
Because no one gives two shits about it.
I do.
They don't say that in the movie, but I wish they did.
They just keep saying, I thought you'd be taller.
All right.
Roadhouse.
We're off to a good start.
I'm going to go next, and then Sean, and then Chad.
Okay.
And I'm going to say...
Suck your teeth.
I'm going to say Mama.
All right. So now name a movie, though.
Mama starring Jessica Chastain and some weird-ass twins.
Okay.
Are they twins or are they just two little boys that are brothers?
Anyway, I don't remember.
Sean?
The Big Lousky.
Uh-huh.
Wait. the big lousky uh-huh wait yeah he only has one t in that movie narrator he's the narrator yeah yeah it fucking it counts
right for a second i was like oh yeah because he's you know he's
yeah oh i did see that bowling alley yes now you're here like dog it's a movie about bowling
get a hold of yourself yeah shut the fuck up donnie i saw that bowling alley? Yes, out your hand like, Doug, it's a movie about bowling. Get a hold of yourself.
Yeah, shut the fuck up, Donnie.
I saw that bowling alley the other day.
Huh?
I saw that bowling alley, I think.
Another amazing story. Where were you?
You should have been at lunch.
There was a lot of these.
Where were you?
I don't know.
It's not going to be good for a podcast,
so I think I saw the bowling alley.
In which city?
I was in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
Yeah, then you didn't see the bowling alley.
No, I'm kidding.
I was in LA. I thought I was in
La Brea somewhere.
You guys riveted? Isn't this fun?
It was in Hollywood, but it's not
a bowling alley anymore.
So I don't know what you saw.
I did a bunch of acid before.
Like 10 minutes before
I set out on my journey to find
the bowling alley from The Big Lebowski
I did a shitload of acid
and I flew to Sioux Falls
and those cool neon lights
that are on the side
of the bowling alley
in that movie
where they have the fight
in the parking lot
those were just put there
by the production
the bowling alley
didn't really have those
see that?
a little behind the curtain
for you
yeah
too much
too much behind the curtain and now Doug, too much Too much behind the curtain
And now Doug has proved that he does know what that movie is
I do, and Chad is up next
The Help
With Jessica Chast
Which is also
What I say if I have to listen to another
Goddamn Sean Jordan story
When I was like 17,
I went on to Ticketmaster.
It was a web, so you used to go on to Ticketmaster
to buy tickets for things. And I saw
Insane Clown Posse live in Sioux Falls,
South Dakota. The help! And I was
like, you know, I do have 20 American dollars
that I will spend on an insane clown
posse ticket. I went there and they sprayed me with this
particular brand of offensively named soda.
And I never washed
my fucking clothes. I never did.
And then I threw them away because
I hadn't washed them for so long that then they
were just ridiculous. And so I had to
throw away my shirt and my jeans.
Is that the story you wanted to hear?
Or did you want to hear another one from us?
I want to hear that one about the house.
That was good.
That's a good story.
You used to be such a popular guest, Sean.
Our next...
I think I'm doing all right.
He's got fans who are into him opening doors and stuff.
Good stories.
All right, Chris.
Yes, sir.
I'm going to go.
Either of them in it.
What's up?
Either of those people,
Sam Elliott
or Jessica Chastain.
I'm going to say
Shakedown.
I'm an old school.
Yeah, dude.
Old school.
Very, very underrated film.
I would just go ahead
and get this one
out of the way
because he's nominated
for an Oscar for it.
A star is born.
I stepped on it.
Oh is he nominated?
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
He should win.
That movie's amazing.
I know you love it.
He's not going to win
until Insane Compost
gets a Grammy.
They should have had
all the Grammy's.
The Grammy's should be called the ICPs is what they should be called. the Grammys. The Grammys should be called
the ICPs
is what they should be called.
I'm not serious.
Dude,
they should actually,
dude,
if they were at the Grammys
doing a live,
they would just shoot
the whole crowd
with fucking milk.
All those rich people
in tuxes.
Do all the awards
look like big magnets?
Really?
Isn't that what happens
with those things?
Aren't there people
don't give up tuxes?
Yeah, but they don't shoot them. No, it's a compost.
Spray them. Spray them with fluid.
Shoot everybody. I'm like, what kind of maniac?
I mean,
they're insane, but not that
insane.
They're still fucking clowns. Yeah.
I'd like to have a good time. I want to have
them on my... I knew it'd be funny at some point.
I knew somebody would make it funny, and here they go making it funny. You're welcome. I'd like to have a good time. I want to have them on my... I knew it would be funny at some point. I knew somebody would make it funny,
and here they go making it funny.
You're welcome.
I'd like to have them on my weed show sometime.
They've expressed interest.
Doug!
I'll do it.
If they're on it, I'll do it.
Oh, you'll go on with and smoke for the first time?
I know you didn't invite me,
but if you have ICP on,
I will go get ripped with ICP on your show.
That would be fucking tight.
People seem excited.
I don't know.
They seem like they were bored with their hands and like,
if he's going to be high, those
stories are going to be longer
and way more drawn out.
Yeah, I know. I like it when Sean
doesn't smoke.
Mask. What was Insane Clown Posse
wearing, Sean, at the concert?
He just jumped all over.
Yeah, that's my turn., what? He just jumped all in.
Yeah, yeah.
Is it your turn? That's my turn.
Oh, Sean.
Is it?
Yeah.
What'd you say?
I think Sean's my turn.
Mask.
Mask.
Yeah.
Good one.
I'm aware.
That is good.
I get it.
Say my first fucking day, Playboy.
Jack.
Okay.
Hulk.
Whoa. I. Whoa.
I was just watching that on HBO.
We were watching it today.
I was very distracted by the way his mustache was cut.
It was.
Yeah, usually he's got, it's big and bushy and covers his upper lip.
It's way too streamlined.
This one was, yeah, it was more severe, so you could see his upper lip,
and it just looked like his upper lip was peeking out from underneath his mustache.
Like, hey, I don't get enough screen time.
It was oddly distracting.
Picture that.
It was like a straight line
just a
hair above where it
should be. You could see his whole lip.
It was disgusting. It was wrong.
And he's beautiful.
It was. And he's beautiful. He's a gorgeous man it's just it was like dog dog shave the whole thing or have it be over your lip yep
see what i did there is i made your story bad because
you did it well wow you got the gift i go listen to that good story i'm gonna fuck it up real quick
like i was doing at lunch earlier. Sean Jordan's talent.
Alright, who said Hulk?
Oh, Chad did. Okay.
But I was wondering, is that the actual name of the Eric Bana one? Yeah, it's just called Hulk.
Just Hulk. Okay. Because I was going to say it earlier
and I was, yeah. And did you see
Nick Nolte? Yeah.
He's the janitor, like you're not going to know. Did you see his hair?
Yeah. How crazy it was? Yeah.
Remember his mugshot when he got the DUI?
It was while they were making that movie.
But they made so, the press just showed that picture.
Like, his hair was that crazy because he was drunk.
Right.
Yeah.
And.
I get it.
If you're the press, that's what you're going to do.
But yeah.
Yeah.
I understand that.
But I don't remember anybody ever going, yeah, he's wearing that silly Hawaiian shirt and
his hair's like that
because he, you know,
got drunk on the set of Hulk.
Yeah.
Plus the Stan Lee cameo
is really fun in Hulk
because he's like,
Well, him and Lou Ferrigno
walk out together.
I was just gonna fucking say it.
Why are you jumping in?
I don't finish
your stupid house stories
for you.
I'd like it if you did
because then they'd be good. I don't have a lot of good stories i gotta
hop on the ones that seem like they're gonna be good and then i finish them i apologize
everybody forget what you deserve strike that from the record dog go ahead
whose turn is it oh mine or did you say something? I didn't say something yet. Yeah, go ahead. Molly's Game.
Yes.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with a classic starring Mr. Mustache himself.
Lifeguard.
Oh, man.
That is a deep cut.
Yeah.
Lordy McGordy.
No.
Lordy McGordy. That's tight. Lordy McGordy. No. Lordy McGordy.
That's tight.
Lordy McGordy.
Zero Dark Thirty.
Don't you dare think about fully clapping.
That was...
Come on.
It sounded like a couple were like...
All right, Chad.
The Hero.
Oh, yeah.
A recent one with Sam Elliott.
I didn't know he was from Sacramento.
This town just got a whole lot sexier.
Wait, he's from here?
The voice of beef is from Sacramento?
You didn't think it was sexy when we were calling it Old Sac the whole time?
Oh, yeah.
That's where they got the name.
I don't know.
Hey, Paul Dorn, who else is from here?
Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Brie Paul Dorn, who else is from here? Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
Bree Larsen's from Sac?
Brandon Beeble, Stefan Janowski. Skateboarders that are from here, for sure.
Tom Hanks?
Tom Hanks is from here?
Colin Hanks is?
Tom Hanks fucked once
in Sacramento.
Reader, we're going back. We're going to have
Colin in Sac Town.
Fuck Cedars-Sinai. We're going to have Cullen in Sacktown. Buck Cedar
sign out. We're going to go have him at Sacramento
General.
Where are we?
I mean, I know where we are. Sacramento.
Old Sack. Whose turn is it? I did.
I just did. You did what? The Hero.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, Chris is up.
Chris.
I love... But hang on a second. Yeah, right is up. Chris. Gerwig. Greta Gerwig. Too much. I love...
But hang on a second.
Yeah, right?
I thought we were done with the Sacramento thing,
and then suddenly I just hear,
Greta Gerwig.
That was a very bassy version of that way to say your name.
Was that Sam Elliott that said that?
Fucking Gerwig.
Greta Gerwig.
God, how tight would that be
If that was Sam Elliott
I've got a million miles
Flying and I'm still waiting
For him to sit in the seat
Next to me
So I might as well
Is it my turn?
That's Chris
You just said something
Didn't you?
Tombstone
Yeah he said that
Oh shit
Dickhead
That's my favorite movie
But I'm going to say
Up in the Air.
All right.
Ooh, that's good.
I was just talking about it.
The Martian.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Making moves out here in these streets, you know what I mean?
That's one of my favorite comedies.
Out here living.
Tree of Life.
Oh, nice.
Did you hear that? Did you hear that, Chris? It's not the Tree of life Oh nice Did you hear that?
Did you hear that Chris?
Not the tree of life It was those rules
Except me
It does still start with a T
You gave me a kick out of that
I got
That was tight
Don't forget Chris you have a lifeline
if you're in the neighborhood of needing one.
I'm in the neighborhood of needing one.
All right.
Where's Joe at?
You got the name tag from?
Full Metal Joket.
Oh, there he is.
The good dinosaur.
He says the good dinosaur.
Whoa.
What?
Do you want to go with that?
Yeah.
Yes.
Oh, shit.
I'm asking Chris, you guys.
The good dinosaur.
Yes.
Incorrect.
I'm just joking.
You're all, no, it's called the great dinosaur.
I like when you look disappointed.
That's all the time, look.
Mm-hmm.
My review of the good dinosaur?
He's all right.
He's pretty good.
He's good enough.
As long as we're talking about animals,
the zookeeper's wife.
Jesus.
I don't even know, is it Jessica?
The zookeeper's wife Jesus was the original title.
Zookeeper's Wife.
Then they decided to take place
at a later time.
What is that movie?
Jessica Chastain
is trying to keep all the animals
from being killed by Nazis
at the zoo.
What the hell?
Was it the Matt Damon one,
that one?
It's like,
takes place in Warsaw.
Oh, wow.
And that zoo is still there.
She kept the zoo going
even though they wanted
to stop it.
She's married to Kevin James
and like,
there's just all kinds
of nutty antics and shit.
What?
Wasn't there a movie
called The Zookeeper
with Kevin James?
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah, and all the animals
talk to him.
Okay.
Yeah. He's like Dr. Doolittle without the degree. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, and all the animals talk to him. Okay. Yeah. He was like Dr. Doolittle
without the degree.
Oh. Yeah.
That's why it's his show.
He's like
Dr. Doolittle with a GED.
Dr. Night School.
What's next?
Oh, you used your lifeline?
Yes.
And so that was correct.
And then I said Zuki was my social.
Yeah.
Valerie, what do we got?
I have no idea.
Fuck, man.
Valerie is tapping because, yeah, you waited too long.
You should have gone to her early.
I had moved.
Is there any sort of contingency where I can...
Do what?
Did you ask everyone you were sitting around?
Hey, don't...
I know.
Did you look it up on your phone?
No, Valerie's doing this right.
Yeah, nobody said Valerie.
I mean, you know, I'll just...
She's not a cheater.
While I'm thinking, I'm just going to tell a great story.
Maybe Valerie looks at her phone, maybe she doesn't.
I mean, you could have gone away with that game
if your storytelling was stronger.
If people were loving your stories.
What's that?
Wait, is that really happening?
Are you really?
Well, no, I don't think so.
Oh, that's Valerie?
Yeah, I don't think that.
Oh, okay.
I thought somebody else just decided to yell out.
I'm pretty sure.
Who told you to say that, Valerie?
Yeah.
Valerie just thought of it.
Yep, exactly.
Fucking cheaters.
Valerie just thought of it.
Easy throwing that word around.
So I'm going to say lawless.
Well, Valerie's back there noodling on a round.
I get it.
It's stressful.
You know, I get it.
I feel you.
All right, all right, all right.
Cool, cool, lawless.
I'm not going to win.
Sorry, Valerie, we're not going to win
because I don't have anything for the next round.
Oh, let me ask that dude that helped Valerie.
Oh, it was a lady?
Wait, are we on the beach in Malibu?
Dudes and chicks, bro.
Which one was in Lawless?
Jessica?
Okay.
She's like the wife.
She's got the dumb part.
Right?
Because it isn't about how much men are killing each other, basically.
All right.
And she's at home going, don't stop it.
Stop being a lawless.
Yeah. Stop being a lawless.
Yeah. Stop being a lawless.
You're being such a jerk.
Like that wife in First Man.
Oh, you're trying to be the first man on the moon?
But you're too closed off at home.
Instead of going to the moon,
spend some time with your children,
the ones that are still alive.
Damn.
He ain't telling it like it isn't.
Did someone really just say spoiler?
That was one of Jessica Chastain's first movies,
was spoiler. Chad, are you going to your lifeline? That was one of Jessica Chastain's first movies With spoiler
Chad are you going to your lifeline?
Yeah sure
What you got Jose?
I got another one you could do it but I figured
Tombstone
Chris said Tombstone
He's got another one
We were soldiers
We were soldiers
Shit
There's no reason to talk to him like that Sean I'm sorry I didn't mean that We were soldiers. We were soldiers. Shit.
There's no reason to talk to him like that, Sean.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
I'm taking out my frustrations on my shitty stories and now that I'm going to lose,
I'm bummed.
Chris, what do you think?
Can you pull something out?
The right stuff.
Whoa.
Is Sam Elliott in that one?
I don't know, but there's four old dudes.
I gambled.
I got a 25% chance.
They weren't old.
They were young astronauts, like young Ed Harris and young other guy.
Ed Harris was in Geo.
Young Sam Elliott, right, guys?
No.
Someone look it up.
No Sam Elliott.
I mean, the right stuff is kind of like pulling the JFK move,
because there are a lot of people in the right stuff,
but Sam Elliott's not one of them.
Sorry.
How do we know that?
Because I love movies.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
He's pulling that card.
No one in the audience is telling me I'm wrong right now.
Not even close.
Okay, I'm going to recuse
myself so we can get this over with.
And also because I can't think of another one
right offhand.
I could if I thought about it for a second.
So can I say that I'm going to recuse myself?
We've got to get going. HQ starts in seven minutes.
So I'm going to recuse myself as well
because I can't think of one. We don't want to say I'm out.
I'm just gonna recuse myself.
I know I'm out.
I'm not playing for anyone.
I know, I'm out. You're letting Valerie down.
I know. Wow, shit, man.
I know that.
She's over there working hard, cheating
with Lawless.
Lawless? Is that your side dude's name?
Lawless?
Yeah I'm out
Here throw these donuts at her
I can't
Cheese and rice
You see how I caught that?
Jerry Rice over here
You ready?
Where you at?
Right here
You say right here
But I can't
I can't see that
Oh we booed that?
I mean they were in a bag
So they're fine Sorry I didn't throw it. Oh, we booed that? I mean, they were in a bag, so they're fine.
Sorry I didn't throw it like a fucking lunatic.
Like picture of the year.
Chad?
Frogs.
A 1972 horror
classic starring Sam Elliott.
I mean, we're throwing classic around pretty
loosely, aren't we?
Nice.
Do you have any more?
Prancer.
Prancer?
The 1989
family classic
starring Sam Elliott.
I'm a big Sam Elliott fan.
Is it because we watched Hulk earlier and you checked?
I really like Sam Elliott.
What's the name, audience, what's the name of that
gothic horror movie
she was in that Del Toro did?
Oh, it was
Crimson Peak.
I couldn't think of that the whole fucking time.
Interstellar, yes.
We said Roadhouse immediately.
But what else
do we miss, you guys?
Thank you for smoking.
Golden Compass. That's good. Fuck. Golden Compass.
The Golden Compass.
That's pretty good.
Miss Sloan.
Miss Sloan.
A Most Violent Year.
Fuck.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, good job.
The right stuff.
Everyone.
That was fun.
Yeah.
Anyone want a donut?
And Chad is our winner, everybody.
Where's your...
Where's Jose?
Jose, come get your prizes.
Come on down, Jose.
Yeah.
Almost stepped on those delicious donuts.
Here's the sign.
Don't need that. We don't need that. And nuh-uh, because he doesn't get a shithead because. Here's the sign. Don't need that.
We don't.
And, uh-uh, because he doesn't get a shithead because he gets all the prizes.
Where is he?
Jose?
Valerie.
What's he going by way of old sack?
There you go.
People want you to do a somersault onto the stage.
There's that. And that one to do a somersault onto the stage. There's that.
And that one's really heavy.
Be careful.
And that.
And then you want your name tag back?
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
Oh, wow.
You don't treat Lloyd Dobler like that.
Thank you.
Valerie.
Okay.
Valerie didn't put a shade head On the back of her thing
You don't want the Kit Kat bars?
Yeah
Oh yeah
Man
Joe didn't put a shit head
On the back of his either
I should tell my guests
To only pick name tags
That have a shit head on them
What was the shit head on yours?
Chad did you look at the envelope?
I didn't look at it no
What was it Jose?
Did I give it to you?
No just tell me what it was.
People who don't vaccinate their kids.
People who don't vaccinate their kids.
I like it.
There's a measles outbreak in Portland right now
because of that shit.
A bunch of middle school kids got the fucking
measles in Portland because people
don't vaccinate their kids and they all got the fucking
measles. That's wild. It's weird.
Anyway, sorry.
Yeah, I freaked out. Anyway, sorry.
Yeah, I freaked out.
Sean, Jordan, what do you got to plug?
I'll be in Portland, Oregon at Rev Hall with Ian Carmel
and David Borey.
Why are you laughing? There was nothing funny about that.
Because you're going to get measles.
Oh no!
I'm not going to get the measles.
I'm drunk all the time.
You can't, you know.
I know.
It didn't have to make sense.
I'll be in Portland, Oregon on March 8th.
So we're doing a bunch of shows.
I do a podcast with David Boring and Ian Carmel.
It's Ian's podcast, but David and I are on it.
It's called All Fantasy Everything.
It's fantastic.
Please listen to that.
And if you are in Portland, we'll be March 8th.
I think we still have tickets for the Revolution Hall show. And, yeah, that's it. And if you are in Portland, we'll be March 8th. I think we still have tickets
for the Revolution Hall show.
And yeah, that's it.
And also, thank you.
This is rad, Doug.
Oh, thank you.
Every time I get to do this.
This is so fun.
Sacramento's been dope.
Yeah.
Seriously, we cooked our own steaks last night.
This is sick.
I love it here.
Place rules.
Chad?
This is pretty much it.
Like, this was a...
I don't know know I'll be doing
Stand up
Around San Francisco
I'll be
Check
Find him on Twitter
Chadopitz.com
I got a schedule up there
And shit
Chadopitz
Twitter
And Instagram
Yeah
Yes
Yeah
Check him out
I'll see you guys
In a show
Chris Tinkle
In my new Comedy album Called Not My Cup of Tea See you guys at our show. Chris Tinkle.
In my new comedy album called Not My Cup of Tea.
It's coming out in March, I believe.
That's next month for you guys who couldn't figure out.
And I do a podcast with MMA fighter John Fitch,
who fights for Bellator, UFC, and stuff.
So if you're into that, check it out. If not, don't listen to it.
Oh, one dude. Thank you.
Yeah, what's it called?
It's called Fitch and Tinkle
Smash Everything.
Shit.
And what's really funny,
so when we first had the title, I didn't put everything on.
I just said, Fitch and Tinkle Smash.
And he was like,
dude, you gotta make sure everything is on there
every single time.
Yeah.
It's like we're just fucking with microphones on.
That sounds like a porn hub video title.
Well, it's going to be now.
I'd like to mention one more time that, oh, I didn't mention this earlier.
I'll be at Zany's in Nashville doing Doug Lowe's movies on Saturday, April 13th at 420.
One more time for all of my guests. Sean Jordan,
Chad Opitz,
Chris Tinkle,
and
thank you to the Sack Punch
and to all you guys for
coming out yesterday and
today. Brandon
for coming out to both shows.
And, um,
so, since the people whose name tags got chosen didn't put
shitheads on the back, I took Darby's
name tag
because Darby was nice enough to
write down four different shitheads.
So on the
end music theme, get ready
after the fourth one.
So not getting your name tag picked is a shithead.
Did you know that was going to happen?
And then searching for jobs but you're an artist is a shithead.
Trump, as always, is a shithead.
And when the Sacramento Kings lose,
they're a shithead?
Or you're a shithead?
Play that song!
Now it's time for Doug
to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing crowd
was big, sick cockies.
There's no room in his heart for you,
cause Doug loves movies!