Doug Loves Movies - Sean Jordan, Doug Mellard and Clarke Wolfe guest
Episode Date: June 8, 2020Doug welcomes Sean Jordan, Doug Mellard and Clarke Wolfe to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to ...;stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky waisties, with 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey everybody, my name is Doug, and I love musicals, but you knew that.
This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you once again from the worst of it it's
sunday june 7th 2020 and my guests today are sean jordan doug mellard and clark wolf hello generic noises this is fun i'm excited i miss this
let's meet them individually and uh alphabetically that's how we uh roll around here
we make the ladies go last if their last name is wolf story of my life but at least i have i have
multiple i think wolf is probably the most common uh last name of guests that come on uh on my shows
uh interestingly enough but i don't i can't think of any other jans right now. It's Sean Jordan. Hey, what's cracking?
Phoning it in from the Pacific Northwest.
Yeah, I'm up here in Rip City, baby. It is raining and it's cloudy and, you know, it's what you think of when you think of Portland.
All right, so we know exactly what it's like there right now. That's exactly what's happening. It's boring. I've been doing a shitload of yard work. Your boy is, uh,
I've been a busy body since I've been in quarantine.
I've turned into quite the busy body.
So a lot of looking out the windows and stuff.
Yeah. A lot of, a lot of contemplation.
Checking out people's yards.
I have opinions on the neighbor's yards now, which is odd.
Yeah. It's fine. I don't know it's just you know it's as good as it can be i guess i'm i've been skateboarding a whole bunch it's sick i do uh appreciate the fact that everything
shutting down gives you a time for skateboarding because you always had you always had such
trouble fitting it into your schedule i'm a busy boy you know yeah i'm doing a
podcast once a week it's tough man where am i supposed to find time to skate between making
smoothies and stuff yeah well you should mention uh all fantasy everything is the podcast and uh
yeah you're speaking of uh of your boys uh ian carmel is a crazy person on that uh on that tv show game on
dude it's awesome i was at um the one that came out last week i was there uh just to watch the
filming it's really fun he's great on it and i tried to separate myself like other than the fact
that he's like my brother he's just very good on the show.
I'm thrilled.
I'm happy for him.
He's just a hilarious loudmouth who doesn't mind having things thrown at him.
That's exactly, exactly what he is.
I don't think anyone's ever said it better.
He's a hilarious loudmouth.
Yeah, true.
Yeah, he's like, he's like, and then the challenge is he's always screaming at people like he's
going to be the best at it.
It's like something no, no person's ever tried before.
No, he was a bowling ball, the one that I saw.
And he was talking shit about, yeah, anything.
It's like, yeah, like he's like, yo, yeah, we're gonna be a bowling ball again.
No.
Yeah, I'm a bowling ball, man.
I'm the best bowling ball there is.
Yeah, it's, I got, I'm stoked that he is in my world.
Well, in my world is another Doug.
I put up with Doug Stanhope for all these years, and then Doug Mellard came along.
So I had to become friends with him as well. How's it going, Doug?
Great. I'm fantastic.
You're in the...
Southwest.
The New Mexico area?
That's correct.
What?
You're in New Mexico?
I'm in Santa Fe, yeah.
Oh.
Yeah, it's been good.
He's just kicking it with his lady and his dog in a house, Sean.
Wow.
I don't think I've ever talked to anyone while they're in Santa Fe.
Oh, man, it's not bad here.
There's low cases and slight update from I think the last time I was on.
I had some of your fans, Doug, reach out about my tooth that was bad on the last episode that I was on I had some of your fans Doug like reach out about my tooth that
was bad on the last episode that I was I got it fixed and I was nervous I didn't
want to get a fix during the you know what's going on and I got a fix and I
also got some acid from the same person that fixed my tooth. Whoa. I really like Santa Fe. Put that on
the Santa Fe postcard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty cool here. That's crazy. Where'd you get
the ice skate to fix your tooth with? Huh? Huh? Quarantine. I like it. I like a good Castaway joke.
I especially like it.
I like a good Castaway joke where I absolutely need it the next day.
Wait, what?
FedEx.
FedEx. I smell where you're stepping.
You know, at conventions for FedEx employees,
they watch Castaway and they play a drinking game.
They drink every time you see water.
Also, speaking of water, my next guest enjoys it more than anyone I know.
Clark Wolf is here.
Hey, Clark.
Hey, Doug.
How are you?
I'm good.
Thank you for coming back to the show.
You're becoming one of the most popular guests on the program.
Oh, well, that's nice to hear.
Thank you so much for having me.
It's true.
People love to hear from you.
I have a lot of guests that people complain about after they appear on the show,
but no one ever complains about Clark Wolf.
Your guests are the only ones then, or your audience rather.
Thank you, audience. I appreciate the confidence boost.
This is just my way of saying that
Doug and Sean, there's some things
my fans have told me about you.
Yeah.
I had
the first time that anyone
ever really bummed me out
was after I did an episode of Doug Loves Movies
and somebody called me
a fake, woke, hipster
I don't know know something you would say
about a kid that lived in portland i remember walking around like oh that was really fun
someone said one time not after doug loves movies but another movie talk show i was on that i was
like the jai courtney of movie talk and i've never forgotten that because it made me laugh so hard jai courtney is
he's like that guy that's in that movie fighting isn't he he's in lots of things and keeps getting
a lot of chances he might be lovely but i don't think audiences have connected with him that is
gnarly well you know i was recently watching that popular Jai Courtney vehicle. And then she left the date.
I don't know what happened.
I don't know what I said wrong.
Half of my inbox is people just saying I need to be more like Clark Wolf.
You guys are the best.
I'll buy that.
Well, guess what?
We're already at the part of the show where I say, let the games begin!
Woohoo!
I'm excited.
Can I tell you guys I'm excited?
I miss this so much.
So, just wanted to say it.
I'll say it a bunch more.
You miss gameplay with...
All this stuff.
...confiance and TV personalities?
Just stuff that we do.
You know, we used to actually hang out and do this so
i just miss it and i can't wait to do it again well we're doing it right now buddy yeah we are
playboy yeah it's just we're doing it but we're not looking each other in the eye i have pictures
i taped up pictures of all of you on the wall and i didn't know who was going to be on. So I taped up a picture of every guest ever.
Wow.
Yeah.
So I'm having a good time.
Can you imagine what that, I don't even know what that number would be because there's been over 1200 episodes.
Wow.
How many guests do you think you've had?
What do you think you've had?
Well, that's why I think it's probably in the 3,000 to 4,000 range, maybe.
Wow.
No, I don't know.
It just depends on how – I just don't know how the numbers add up
in terms of repeat guests because many of the guests come back,
but I've also had hundreds of people probably that have only been on them
one time or one or two times.
So somebody somewhere is probably compiling some sort of uh database or something with all that information in it but it's crazy it's on sean's wall just count them yeah oh that's true sean i
don't know why you asked me you have hey i'm just out here playing games you know i didn't want to
give the answer away right away. That's fair.
Yeah, it's not fun.
I decided on my Doug Loves Movies account on Twitter that I started recently
so that the show had its own account.
I decided to only follow people on that account that have been guests
since I started the account.
But I'm already following, following like 40 or 50 people,
and it's only been a few months.
Wow, that's fucking awesome.
Yeah.
Okay, this game is brand new.
The Tony Awards were supposed to happen tonight, but they're not.
Damn.
Oh, that's some bummer of course i mean they didn't even
have a tony season this year like the everything that would be nominated and winning awards tonight
would be shows that were playing over the last uh you know during the pandemic like shows that were
all about to open in april everything just uh you just got shut down.
This is a new game. It's called
Tony, Tony, Tony.
And all three are spelled
exactly the same way.
This is a game where luck
and knowledge of Broadway musicals
turned into movies
go hand in hand while remaining
six feet apart.
I will start with you sean jordan will you call me jai courtney instead that's my name oh man just trying to throw curve
balls at these motherfuckers you know we'll start with Sean, and I'll ask you a question. And if you get the answer correct, you get a point.
If you miss it or don't even have a guess, I will give Doug multiple choice options for that question.
If he gets it right between the two choices, he gets a point.
If he misses it, Clark the two choices, he gets a point. If he misses it,
Clark gets the lucky point.
Okay. And it moves
on from there. So everybody
has a chance
of getting those lucky points.
But you just don't know where they're
going to land. All right.
Hit me. Ready, ready, ready for
Tony, Tony, Tony? Born
on a green light, Playboy.
Let's fucking get it done.
Let's raise the curtain and light the lights.
Sean S. Jordan.
Who plays the baker in the movie version of the Broadway musical
Into the Woods?
You know, Nathan Lane.
I love
your confidence.
I love that you chose
a person from the world of musical
theater. I try.
It makes perfect sense, but no, that is incorrect.
I knew that.
So we turn to Doug Mellard, and you
get a choice, Doug.
Do you think you know who it is without even having a choice?
Oh, no way.
Okay.
It's a talk show host. Is it James Corden or Stephen Colbert?
Let's go Stephen Colbert.
Oh, no.
That is incorrect. Oh, no. That is incorrect.
Oh, no is right.
That means Clark gets the lucky point.
Clark, did you know the answer?
I did actually know the answer, yes.
Damn, all right.
Yeah, she knew it.
She didn't need the lucky point, but she got it.
She got it anyway.
I'll take it.
Back to you, Sean.
This is the first person to two points so it's uh
you gotta you gotta uh oh it doesn't skip it okay well darn all right yeah that's how that went
you need to get what is right What movie musical, Sean, based on a Broadway show,
featured Queen Latifah as Motor Mouth Maybel?
God damn it.
Do you know, Clark?
Don't ask Clark.
Well, it does get a help if she knows or if she doesn't.
There's still Doug between you and her.
I've never given a shit about Doug. i'm kidding i give i give a shit i'm gonna uh man rent i wish there was a character
named motor mouth and it's a little heavy to call someone motor mouth i guess in that movie
yeah all right so doug you get to choose between two options.
Do you feel like you have
any idea?
Not really. I'm not
great with musicals, but...
Okay. Get out of town.
He did.
He went to Santa Fe. Is
Motormouth...
Is
Motormouth Mayville... Is that a character in
Chicago or Hairspray
oh come on
shit
is the answer shit
it's not shit
Chicago or Hairspray Motor motor mouth maybel queen latifah hairspray
oh no that's right oh oh god i felt my clerk's response because she said oh no when i got it
wrong that was a trickster move for me yeah yeah you nailed it this time she's in she's in chicago she plays uh mama
morton in chicago and then she's also in hairspray as motor mouth maybel now that means that doug has
one point clark has one point and uh clark gets to go first on this next question. Oh, okay. You ready? Yes.
Over the course of the film Dreamgirls,
how many Dreamgirls are there?
Oh, wow.
Wow.
I'm going to... Are you talking about like...
The group is called The Dreams
and then there's
lineup changes occur?
I'm going to say, I'm going to say four.
Cause they're a trio.
Oh no.
Oh, I know that sound. Okay. Fair, fair.
That sounded ridiculous. What I just said.
If one person leaves and gets replaced,
I'm going to, it might be five, though.
I don't know. Let's see.
Okay, final answer is five.
That is incorrect. Incorrect.
Let me get those options.
Yeah, Sean, the choices are, this is unfortunate,
it kind of makes it a lucky point for you.
The choices are four or five.
Oh, man.
Are you serious?
Well, I appreciate that so much.
I'm going to say four, just like Destiny's Child.
Darn.
We got to do it Darn! Imagine if
Sean got that wrong.
Yeah, imagine if I did, Doug.
Thanks a lot for switching
it up, Doug. You could have stuck a six
in there or something.
Well, it was so funny
when you were debating it because you said four
and then you changed it to five.
I even said, oh no, after you said four, indicating as we all know,
that means you got it right.
I should have gone with my gut.
What a tangled web we weave.
Indeed.
All right. We got a three-way tie here. That means, but Sean is first.
Good. I wanted to is first. Good.
I wanted to go first. I bet I got the answer.
This is the one that's going to determine
everything.
Name the
actress in the movie
West Side Story
who
did not
do her own singing.
It's not her singing voice in West side story.
Well, I thank you for getting specific,
but I couldn't name you one person who did their own singing in West side
story. So, uh, it was, was it the girl who played Maria?
That's the closest I got.
Uh, that will not qualify as an answer.
I mean, it's an answer.
It won't qualify as the right one, correct?
Exactly.
Exactly.
We move on to Doug Mellard.
Yeah.
Are you going to be able to name from two people who this is?
I mean, I hope so, but...
Alright, you ready?
Yeah.
Was it Natalie Wood or Rita Moreno?
Natalie Wood.
That is correct.
Yes.
Damn it.
Good job.
Dumb luck.
Was it the girl who played Maria?
You didn't say, oh, no.
Yeah, Natalie worked with Maria.
And she didn't do her own singing.
And, yeah.
Also didn't do her own Puerto Rican-ing.
She is very white.
She's very white.
It's a very white puerto rican character and um but rita moreno uh
won the uh oscar for that movie and uh also is uh an egot oh every game of thrones huh
yep she's got all the game of thrones
all right so that means that uh that since Doug won that game,
he gets a very special advantage in our final and deciding game today
that is going to come up right after these messages.
We'll be right back.
We're back.
It always makes me laugh.
It was pretty fast, right?
It was pain fast, right?
Painless.
Painless.
If you're just joining us, that would be weird because you pretty much have to listen from the beginning.
But I'm here with Sean Jordan, Clark Wolf, and the winner of the previous game, Doug Bellard,
who now gets the, if you've been listening to the show lately you know how this works we're gonna play last person standing and um
stanting i'm just like i can't decide which word to say and um doug gets to decide, not only does he get to go first, he gets to decide which actor or actress we are all, yes, me as well,
we're all going to take turns naming movies that that person was in.
And if you can't think of one, you're out.
It's going to go Doug, then Clark, then Sean, then me is the order.
Then Clark, then Sean, then me is the order.
And Doug, have you thought of an actor or actress who you think will give you a very special advantage today?
Absolutely not.
But let's go Paul Newman.
Wow.
Thank you for not saying Jai Courtney.
Yeah.
What are you sitting in a cigar bar right now?
I did not give myself an advantage by the way.
What, what a, all right.
Yeah.
I don't know uh you know uh i don't know where you're from
originally doug but where i'm from san diego we try to win when we play games
they do the same thing in sioux falls south dakota dog i don't know where you're from but
can we throw robert redford in there too Can we just do both of them?
Yeah, what made you pick that, Doug?
I just love Paul Newman.
I don't know that you do.
I do.
Well, okay.
You love, okay.
All right. I love somebody.
The dreamy blue eyes that he actually didn't love
because that was what most people knew him for.
He hated that.
It really held him back.
Yeah, it really held him back.
Weird.
Paul Newman, come on, man.
I did meet Robert Redford
here in Santa Fe randomly.
And he was...
Just now, during this?
No, yeah. Just now. He just walked by.
Is he the one who gave you the acid?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
He picks my tooth.
Are you sure
it was Robert Redford
or were you just
talking to a saddle?
Oh, it's so stupid.
But he definitely
spent too much time in the sun.
Yeah, he's a withering gentleman.
Yeah.
Paul Newman was handsomer as an old guy than Redford's turning out to be.
But, you know, they're both amazing actors.
But we're not here.
Get Robert Redford out of your head.
Sorry I brought him up again.
That's never worked. People tell me that every day.
It's never taken.
You just can't get Robert Redford out of your head.
Yeah, he's in there. He's got prime real estate.
He's right in there whispering
Hail Hydra.
So,
start us off, Doug.
Just name any movie that's got
Mr. Paul Newman in it.
Cool Hand Luke.
Salad dressing doesn't count.
Don't say salad dressing.
Cool Hand Luke.
Cool Hand Luke.
Cool Hand Luke.
Classic Ranch Cool Hand Luke.
Clark? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
I told you to get
Redford out of your head
and that's what you do
that's what I did
I just couldn't let him go
yeah why would you
he's probably Redford's great
my turn yeah you're already out of titles him go. Yeah, why would you? His pro record's great.
My turn. Yeah, you're already out of titles?
The Hustler.
All right.
I like what you're doing there
so much that I'm going to
say The Color of
Money. Yeah, there you go.
Back to you, Doug.
Back to back, Dougs.
Clap, gentlemen.
Fuck you.
Shot.
That's pretty sneaky because you know that Sean knows about things with skates.
God damn it.
Clark.
Was he in The Sting?
Why wouldn't he be? why wouldn't he be why wouldn't he be i mean he was yeah so the sting is my answer it was his it was his reteaming with robert redford exactly i just i couldn't
stop thinking about robert redford and i think like don't people just associate them always together, but it's just those two movies, right?
I believe those are the only two,
but I don't think you understand how this game works.
Oh yeah.
Damn it.
You don't want to give anybody any extra hints.
You do. If you were to give somebody extra hints, what would they be?
hints you do if you were to give somebody extra hints what would they be um i would say don't
i'd say slow down player obey all the traffic signs damn it i i can't i don't know. I don't know. Like a good little what?
What was, do you know what Paul Newman's passion was when he was alive besides salad dressing?
No.
You don't?
I don't.
You don't picture him wearing a certain kind of outfit when he's not in a movie?
Where he got in a fist fight?
Is he a cowboy?
No, I don't oh this is gonna bum me out i don't have a guess poor sean poor sean jordan um the man spent a lot of time in his life in and around
in and around cars.
Yeah.
There's a video of him in a fist fight with another,
like,
like he did it like a NASCAR race or something.
And he beat up a guy when he was like 68 or something.
It's insane.
I'll buy that.
Yeah. He seems like a,
it seems like one of those guys.
Yeah.
He and David Letterman became pretty close
Yeah, he and David Letterman became pretty close towards the end of Paul Newman's life because they were both so into car racing.
God, I bet you those two saw the bottom of a bottle a couple times. That would be a fun little conversation. And of course, he is the voice, Paul Newman is the voice of Scrooge McDuck in Cars.
That's not his name in the movie.
Doug, what do you got?
Road to Perdition? We haven't done that, right?
Shit!
Oh, great one!
Great one, great pull.
I had Hanks on the brain, and I knew
that's what I was trying to think of. Shit!
Oh, well.
Road to Perdition. hanks on the brain and that's i knew that's what i was trying to think of shit oh well i knew it to perdish god he's good in that sean you don't sean you don't have to express disappointment every time one of us still knows more i don't have to do a lot of things but i'm cars 2 uh huh cars 2 okay
my turn cars 3
Doug
Harper it's one of my favorite movies
I can't even tell you why I love that movie
what's Harper
old school cool
you know he's a detective
okay
he kind of gets to
be comedic and he's all over
the place he gets to play a lot of different roles
within the one character it's so good
I can see why you love it sure
yeah
Clark
Harper too
no I'm out friends
I'm a red I'm a redhead
a Redford head
redhead
oh man
with that and just like a shirt of Robert
Redford
okay so
I have to play strategically here
then because it's just
me and Doug.
The Doug-off.
Yeah.
So, I'm going to try to pick movies, Doug,
that you wouldn't think of.
Like, how about Nobody's Fool?
Oh, damn. That's a good one is it i mean it was a good i wouldn't have had that
in well i don't know good tip yeah i'll go with there is a harper too it's called the drowning
pool and it's oh you sneaky son of a bitch not as good it wasn't going to be a day
unless somebody called someone else a sneaky son of a bitch
so I'm excited that it got done
the drowning pool
very nice
very nice
that's going to force me to say
something like
you know
we're not sure
who's going to win here today.
We won't know
for absolutely sure
until we hear
the verdict.
That sounds like a movie
he'd be in.
Oh, yeah.
Should have won the Oscar for it.
He ended up winning for Color of Money the following year,
shortly thereafter.
He also won a Lifetime Achievement Acting Award
before they gave him the award for a specific movie, I think.
He won an Oscar for The Color of Money?
Yeah.
Really? I did not of Money? Yeah. Really?
I did not know that.
Who's in that with him?
Is it Brando?
Tom Cruise? Oh, yeah.
Same thing.
No, the original Hustler, when he was young,
he played Fast Eddie
in The Hustler.
Minnesota Fats was
Jackie Gleason.
Jackie Gleason.
And then Color of Money was, he's old now,
and he's training a new young buck played by Tom Cruise.
I was trying to think of that one,
but I kept coming up with Matthew Broderick.
I don't know.
It was confusing.
Yeah, Matthew Broderick's in The Freshman with Marlon Brando.
There you go.
Yeah. All right. Wasick's in The Freshman with Marlon Brando. There you go. Yeah.
All right.
Was Paul Newman in The Natural with Robert Redford?
I don't know, but, you know, he might have been, like, in the stands,
you know, watching.
Yeah.
Is that your final answer?
Oh, no.
You were just making conversation right there.
Cat on a hot tin roof, is that what it's called? Right? Yeah. Yeah, oh, no. You were just making conversation right there. Cat on a hot tin roof.
Is that what it's called?
Great pull.
I should have gotten that one.
Good job.
You should have said earth.
Never heard of it.
That was a good one.
Cat on a hot tin roof.
That sounds like a cartoon. It's not a cartoon?
He played the voice of
Scrooge McDuck again.
Paul Newman with a
tight mustache in most of these movies, I imagine.
Always.
Just a tight,
perfectly placed
and groomed mustache.
That should be like a thing on game shows
is just
while the contestants are trying to think of the answers Sean just stands
and muses about here's one Sean you're gonna love this title if you liked Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I did. Sometimes a Great Notion.
What?
Yeah.
Weird movie titles.
It's about logging.
Oh, yeah, of course.
I love all logging movies.
Crap.
I don't know if I have another one.
I can picture
there's this like
ranching cowboy movie
and I can't think of the title
and I'm stuck on it
so I'm gonna
Cars 4 is there a Cars 4
no
oh god
do you know the ranching like the cowboy movie I'm thinking of?
I mean, I feel like that's probably something he did a few times.
You have to narrow it down.
I definitely know that he's got some more like race car movies we haven't
touched upon.
more like race car movies we haven't uh touched upon um and uh he was in a merchant ivory movie that i i think i can remember the title of
oh maybe not did like he doesn't sound like he was in a ton of bangers like most of these just
are like movies he was in. What was he in for?
Like banging ass movies.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
So you're saying.
Butch Cassidy.
Cool hand lube movies.
Well, yeah.
I mean, you look at someone like Tom Hanks and they have like 10 movies that were like insane or,
and it's just Paul Newman.
So famous.
And so revered, but I don't, I'm not hearing a ton.
Yeah.
And it's just Paul Newman's so famous and so revered, but I don't,
I'm not hearing a ton.
Yeah.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid and the sting each played in motion picture theaters for over a year.
Wow.
Robert Redford were the biggest stars on the planet.
Yeah.
It was just a different time.
It was like those movies.
Those movies are two huge movies.
I'll tell you this for free.
Watched much Cassidy about a year ago and I didn't like it all that much.
Whoa. Whoa.
Yeah.
It's challenging.
It was kind of boring, and it's so long.
The script is so, I love the dialogue, though.
Like, William Goldman, man.
The end is great.
Yeah.
Still a great ending.
Yeah, it is. It just, maybe I might have been in the wrong.
It was like a Sunday afternoon.
Me and Ian were sitting around.
Maybe that's not the time to do it.
Nah, it's hard.
It's hard if you didn't grow up.
I would argue, I think it's slow if you don't grow up on it.
And I didn't grow up on it either.
So I don't love it, but I get it, if that makes sense.
Like I, everybody's so magical to look at.
Catherine Ross and the way it's shot and the dialogue is so snappy, but
it's slow.
Yeah, it's slow.
They stop in the
middle of a Western to have a man
and woman riding around on a bicycle.
Boy, they sure do.
I was astonished
from that.
It's astonishing.
I had never seen it. that was the first time i'd
ever seen it and i didn't know really anything about it i don't maybe either one of us and uh
yeah i was shocked at that scene i was like what in the fuck is this doing in there they just
forked in that song i think that's all it was yeah also have that montage of them actually
doing all the crime stuff with or actually like doing all the cool
western stuff with katherine ross there you know they just tell you about it you you get to see
pictures i was like where's that scene i'm sorry can we reshoot please like i that stood out to me
when i watched it last i was like what the hell you just skipped over all the best parts. Wild.
I really stirred up a Paul Newman debate.
It really did.
Break your fixed tooth.
Those two guys were the Thelma
and Louise of their time.
Yeah.
They also died needlessly
at the hands of law enforcement
at the end of a chase.
Harvey Keitel tried to talk both of them out of doing it, but...
Little known fact, Harvey Keitel is totally in Butch Cassidy.
I didn't remember that. Wow.
And Dennis Hopper is in Cool Hand Luke.
Very young Dennis Hopper. I think his first role.
Also, Harvey Keitel is not in, but I was kidding.
I don't know. I'd buy it.
Hook, line, and sinker, you old so-and-so.
That'd be a whole lot cooler if he was, though.
Yeah, that's the thing about this format,
is that the next person who starts talking is the
person who gets to talk next.
And Doug started speaking before I could say anything.
It's a funny way to say it.
But Doug is our winner today.
So take that everybody.
That's not named Doug.
Hey.
Yeah. It worked out.
You picked Paul Newman, and even though you were a little wobbly on it,
you still managed to pull off the win.
And it's very exciting.
Mr. and Mrs. Bridge, I just thought of it,
is the name of the hoity-toity Merchant Ivory movie he did.
You know, the people who did, uh,
you know, uh, room with a view and stuff like that.
They got Paul Newman in one of them. Um, all right.
So, you know, there's no prizes to speak of.
There's no prize bag to, uh, to give to anybody.
There's just that sense of pride that Doug's going to be walking around with
that's going to drive everybody in his household crazy.
The prize is getting to hang out with your friends and talk.
I feel like we all win.
It's true.
We all win just by showing up.
But since we're in this crazy time where, you know,
obviously protesting is very important and we're still,
a lot of people are still staying at home.
Like what,
do you guys have any suggestions of what people can watch right now that
could either be, you know,
extra fulfilling or something that's, you know,
more like escapist fare like something to watch
so you don't have to think about things that are going on right now what's up what are you guys
watching i tv i know this is doug loves movies and not tv but i have really enjoyed uh what we
do in the shadows fuck yes based on a movie based on a, so I'll give you that. Okay. But, you know,
that is definitely
escapist entertainment.
Not necessarily meaningful.
However, that has been
really fun for me to just kind of put on
and chuckle and kind of
just zone out. I also watched...
Can I ask you a quick question
about that? Yeah.
People are saying that what we do in the shadows,
that the first season of the TV version was good,
but that the second season takes it up is next level good.
Is that true?
To me, since I watched them all together,
they feel like one, they feel cohesive to me.
But I definitely do think that the cast and
because jermaine and taika uh write and direct a lot of the episodes and i do think that they
find their groove about halfway or towards the end of the first season and so now that they have
that all down i do think the comedy works and also they're playing with the genre a lot more
so it's vampires but witches and ghosts and all these fun things so uh and trolls and i i like that so i just think i
don't think it stands out like you know the first season of the office or the first season of parks
and rec are kind of hard but then it gets into it i feel like it but it does they they do gel for sure. Excellent.
Yeah.
That dude that plays Laszlo, I forget his name, but he's
been a very popular British actor for a long
time. He is so, so
funny. Yeah.
That show's great. And yes, very
escapist. Gets your mind off things. It's very,
very, very, very funny.
Is Robert Redford in there?
No. His salad dressing is. Oh, no, that, very funny. Is Robert Redford in there? His salad dressing is.
Oh, no, that's Paul Newman.
Damn it.
Who are these people?
I can't keep them straight.
Their ideas.
You know, it's just a shame that, you know,
all of Robert Redford's son dance clubs are closed down.
all of Robert Redford's son dance clubs are closed down.
Ah.
What do you got, Doug?
What do you got for us to watch?
Well, I've gone a very different route
and to escape,
I've just been watching
the dumbest shit possible.
Oh yeah, too hot to handle?
I, for some reason,
actually texted Doug the other night
that I was watching Dick Tracy for the first time
since it came out in the theaters.
Yes.
And it was a fun little escape.
A lot of colors going on.
A lot of people in it.
William Forsythe, Al Pacino, Dustin Hoffman, Madonna.
And then we watched Twins last night.
We got really high and watched Twins
just say a movie that you want
that you're recommending and then let's talk about it
don't move on to the next one
I'm going to say Dick Tracy
it was bizarre it was insane
you're recommending Dick Tracy
well yeah maybe I shouldn't recommend
Dick Tracy but
I've just
gone to a point of I just want to watch something really stupid so I don't have to think about
anything and uh well that's uh then Dick Tracy is the answer I think that's really good
because that movie I you know that's one of those movies that I think, you know, you really want to like it.
And then, you know, and they do go to so much trouble to make all the colors so much like a comic book.
But then they also prove that sometimes just slapping something up there and making it look exactly like it did in the comic isn't necessarily going to be inspiring to anybody.
I haven't seen that movie in a long time,
but I just remember at one point
feeling like Al Pacino's makeup was falling off.
That was just him.
Yeah, that was just Al.
Yeah, it's just, I don't know.
I could maybe revisit that again,
but when you texted me that the other
night um I had to go to the hospital because um I had a a massive eye roll
this guy yeah I sat up in bed so thanks for that
I just sat up in my bed my eyes rolled so far back in my head.
I made such a face that I...
Mr. Benson, we hate to tell you,
but you're going to look annoyed for the rest of your life now.
Oh, man.
Resting looking at Doug Mellard's face.
Okay, so, Sean, do you have anything anything uh to recommend yeah i got two things i watched a
movie called scary stories to tell in the dark the other night and it was very fun yes agreed
i love that one the right amount of like the horror isn't uh horror but it's fun scary stuff
you know like and it's teenage stuff it's lighthearted, but it's still like kind of a horror movie and it's kind of scary.
It's got some jumpers, some, some weird ghouls and stuff.
So it was a very fun, uh,
like put some popcorn in.
I've been making movies like a ritual cause I miss going to the movie theater
so much. So like making popcorn and like having the lights and, you know,
just, so it's, it's very fun for that.
Shut off all the lights in the house and watch that one.
Also I'm 80 episodes into Grey's Anatomy, but that's not something I recommend.
Oh wow.
Why would you do that to yourself and to us?
I like soap operas. I love them. And I love medical shows.
Scrubs is my favorite show of all time.
So I just figured why
not take this time to dive into gray's anatomy i'm not bummed about it i love it i just wouldn't
recommend it to most people yeah how many episodes are there total 342 i think and i will watch all
of them you are gonna watch private practice i found out private practice is a spinoff and i
can't not watch that. So there we go.
Oh my God. I mean,
so many people aren't accomplishing anything during this and you're really
out there.
There's skateboarding and staying up to date with what's going on with
Meredith gray.
Dude, a lot. I'll tell you what's going on with her is sex.
All they do in that hospital is bone each other. All of them. That's it. it and then they go there's a bar they go to every night and get shit-faced
and they're supposed to be like the best elite most elite surgeons in the country and they're
just getting plowed all the time your hands shake i just you know it's not realistic but it's fun
i'll tell you that fun show i'm sad to say that uh might be realistic a lot of surgeons might be getting
hammered every night it might be my knee my knee feels like it was done by dr giggles it's like
clicked ever since i got knee surgery like 20 years ago all right so sean you're telling me
that if i watch this movie what's it called again are you afraid of the scary pitch blackness i thought you said are you afraid of this gary yeah yeah the answer is yes which gary's scare you so it's called are you afraid of the dark
are you scary stories to tell in the dark oh scary stories to tell the dark okay it's fun
and and like just the right amount of fun scary it But it's PG-13 though, right?
I think so.
It is.
It's PG-13 for sure.
It's kind of like Cat's Eye.
It tells
it has a through line and then it shoots
off and tells three different stories
in the through line kind of.
Oh, yeah. I remember
hearing about this. It's kind of anthology style yeah it's
very fun um yeah i just didn't uh i just didn't hear enough about it to get me excited but but
clark likes it yeah it's the same director who did uh i want to say andre overdoll he did uh
um troll hunter and uh the autopsy of jane doe and And Guillermo del Toro produced the adaptation.
Because this was more my generation,
these really scary short story books for kids
that had these horrifying drawings that scarred all of us.
And they were in our public library,
or our school libraries.
And so what's really cool is they actually,
so these books, somebody like in the
90s went back and actually had them redraw all the art so it was less scary and that was like
such a drag so what the movie did was actually model the creatures off of uh steven gammill's
original art from these books like in the 80s early 90s and so the creature design is like super cool
all right yeah i like scary things but yeah i i think that it was guillermo del toro's the
uh name that uh like should normally make me excited but in this case it kind of pushed me
off of it a bit a bit just because he tends to
lean towards the uh you know kind of uh things that are uh gross uh and that's not that's not my
you know especially in pg-13 i just i just worry that most of the uh scares are just going to come
from things that are slimy rather than you know genuine, genuine threat. No, it's good. It's creepy.
There's like some creepy stuff.
No parents kissing or anything, huh?
Nothing real gross in there.
The kids are good too.
Like there's a, you know, very much looked to it
to replicate the dynamic of these kids.
So, and I think they're all great.
So that's kind of fun.
Here's a question for everybody.
My fiance loves thriller horror movies.
And is there like a good one that maybe I'm sleeping on?
Like maybe kind of in the same vein as Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.
Like anything that we could watch?
Oh, I could definitely recommend if you haven't seen it,
my favorite PG-13 horror movie,
because it still manages to deliver while not being
bloody is
Drag Me to Hell.
That is in my
top five.
I've never seen it.
I know what it is, I just have never watched it.
Yeah, it stars our boy
Justin Long is in it.
It's Sam Raimi
at his
it's goopy gross
I mean it's just they get everything
they can get away with
and still get a PG-13
I'm going to bring it up this evening
it's really fun
it's a good one
I'll enjoy that
Mellard I hate to lie to you but I'm not going to watch that movie
that I said I would watch again
because now I'm going to watch Drag Me to Hell.
You've got to see Tiptoes, though.
It's twice I'm bailing on Tiptoes.
Oh, man.
I think that
Drag Me to Hell will be especially
disgusting during a pandemic.
Oh, my God, yes.
That's what, like, did you
guys fuck around and watch Cont contagion at all during the
beginning yes absolutely no definitely not it was so close it was like you're watching a documentary
like no way it yeah that is a thriller right that's like a horror movie right now like it
really is so it is there's so much yeah there's so much terminology that you didn't know before the pandemic.
Social distancing, they say in there.
And you're like, what?
People have been saying that for a decade?
It was wild.
Another horror movie, Dick Tracy.
I don't know if you guys have seen it.
Yeah, it's got
Jose Canseco's ex-girlfriend Madonna
is in that movie.
There's nothing scarier than Madonna's acting.
Is it?
I've never actually watched that one.
Is it like, I don't know.
It just reminds me like it would be like Sin City and Roger Rabbit mixed together or something.
Wow.
Exactly that.
Wow.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Nailed it.
It doesn't sound bad when you describe it like that yeah
i mean those other two are way better there's also like a really crazy hollywood story about
warren baity and like him buying the rights and fighting to keep the rights and trying to get
this movie made and then he finally gets it made and i think people were like okay and I'm pretty sure that Warren Beatty
it might have changed in the last 10 years but I think he might still own the rights to Dick Tracy
which is part of the reason why it hasn't been like rebooted or reimagined but that might they
might have lapsed I don't know but yeah that's a really interesting cool weird Hollywood tale
that sounds like it could be a whole season
of entourage or something just that story yes trying to get a script that's yes he had some
warren baity had some real like you know because he was also in the middle of that whole ishtar
craziness and like he he, he definitely,
when moving into the directing and producing chair,
just sort of got involved in things that were just like hard to pull off.
And cause he also had that movie town and country that took forever to get
made.
And yeah,
he's,
I think, I feel like he's his own worst enemy like if he was like annette benning
and just showed up and did great acting and things that he would still be like a
you know a legit player
you know but at least he uh was there when the wrong name was mentioned
oh boy i was just gonna say i can't even think of warren baity at all but that was But at least he was there when the wrong name was mentioned. Oh, boy.
I was just going to say, I can't even think of Warren Beatty at all,
but that was, wasn't it?
Yeah, that's his legacy,
is that he was standing next to Faye Dunaway when she blurted out the wrong name.
I have.
That's so gnarly.
Fucking Jimmy Kimmel has to go out there and tell Faye Dunaway and Warren
Beatty that they fucked up.
Why don't you guys go talk about the golden age of Hollywood over a bowl of blow back there?
Well, it's that time, you guys.
It's time for us to do a bowl of blow and stay up all night
who would like to plug
anything that you've got going on
let's start with Clark
what's going on Clark Wolf
yeah I would love if you guys
enjoyed this show
give me a follow on the old gram
the old Instagram
at Clark Wolf
that would be lovely and
thank you so much for having me doug this was a lot of fun and everybody was always out there
with your instagram doing fun uh you know you're always at fun events and stuff getting getting
photos so it's a good follow thank you doug uh doug mellard speaking of doug Doug's I got a podcast called Ear Finger
that is kind of experimental
this week I reviewed a book called
97 Ways to Make a Baby Laugh
and it's the dumbest book I've ever heard of
give me some ways
I mean is a bitch any of them
that's
almost yeah almost all of them
seven ways
to make a baby laugh and a bitch ain't one
is my joke
they actually like why can't you
round it up to an even hundred that's what I don't
understand also it's very
easy to make a baby laugh you can do anything well but you really think there's like three more things
that they they could have thought of i mean yeah you can uh they don't have jiggle some car keys
in there that's a pretty good go-to you know you can literally they don't have jiggle car keys on
there nope not in there not in there i think that would be the fifth thing I would have put.
Yeah, but you guys are both sure you've had enough experience
that this will always make a baby laugh, aren't there?
Maybe not always.
A little smarter?
I don't know, man.
Babies are pretty stupid.
Yeah, they're not smart.
Well, do you think they're laughing because they're like,
why are you putting the keys in my face?
I can't drive, you idiot. I don't know think they're laughing? Cause they're like, why are you putting the keys in my face? I can't drive you idiot.
I don't know why they're laughing. That's a good, that's a good question.
It's so damn funny. I want to know what these babies are laughing at.
They're laughing at us. They don't think the keys are funny.
They think the idiot holding the keys is funny.
Get them.
Their intellect is too high. So they're like, you're an idiot.
I can't believe you thought I'd fall for this.
That's why they're laughing.
They're mocking us.
Yeah.
No, that's the thing is babies are really smart,
but the only thing they can do is laugh or cry.
Did you plug anything, Doug?
Oh, yeah.
He's plugging making babies laugh.
Yeah, yeah.
Make babies laugh during this time.
Yes.
Sean Jordan, what do you got to plug, buddy?
I'm a part of a podcast called All Fantasy Everything with David Borean, Ian Carmel.
It's fantastic.
If you want, the last episode we did was pretty much just a large donation episode,
and we still have all of our links up.
If you want to just go visit the page and choose a site to donate to,
we have a bunch up, you know, if you want to go help out what's going on.
And if not, just be good, be happy, be nice to each other, be loving,
be cool, try to put good energy into the world.
Oh, yeah, also that.
Oh, yeah, see, Clark and Doug forgot that.
Me too, yes, totally.
That's also more than Instagram.
You can do that, do that first
and then follow me on Instagram.
That is, that's a good order.
I want you to follow me on socials
and I want world peace in that order.
I mean, you know, yeah, this is rad. This is just so cool. Sorry.
I cut you off. I just, I'm having a good time. Go ahead.
Doug loves movies.com is where you go for my potential dates.
That might be happening, but probably won't, but we'll see. Who knows?
Yeah. Thanks again to all of my guests, Sean Jordan, Clark Wolf, Doug Mellard.
As always, I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams, I hope.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.