Doug Loves Movies - Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, and Kate Micucci Guest
Episode Date: April 5, 2012The Tournament of Championships continues as Doug welcomes film star Simon Pegg, writer/director Edgar Wright, and comedian Kate Micucci to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/pr...ivacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screenies, babies, sticky seats
With 50-as-a-pop or hurdles in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Those Doug Bums movies Hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
See I've just finally learned how to milk that
Like there's always that weird
Like the applause dies down and
then there's a few seconds before i start talking and i could just fix that by just milking the
applause by bowing while i'm setting up like just doing extra like yes hey what's up
that kind of thing oh my god we got bags. I don't even have all three guests stuff
because one of the guests is, you know,
you guys know this story.
They're in route.
And if they don't make it,
thank God Jordan's in the front row.
Ready to go.
Did I say this is Doug Lowe's movies coming to you?
As it always does.
Most weeks.
Most of the time.
92% of the time
from the Upright Citizens Brigade
Theater before the live show
Comedy Bang Bang, which has now become a TV
show on IFC.
Yeah!
It's Tuesday, April
3rd, 2 Oceans 12.
And finally,
it is happening.
Tonight I have managed to round up two out of three people,
hopefully three people, to compete in the next round of the Leonard Maldon Tournament of Championships.
But first I'm going to talk for 20 minutes.
Click it or tick it.
Since I last spoke and you listened,
I did a 420 show at Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin,
where Graham Elwood bested three audience members with awesome name tags
before being beaten by Jordan with his JoJo Dancer Your Life is Calling name tag.
Because his name is Jordan. I guess they call him JoJo. Oh, I'm sorry. I should have said JoJo dancer your life is calling name tag because his name is Jordan I guess they call him JoJo oh I'm sorry I should have said JoJo dancer
your life is calling for those who've been asking we play the Leonard Maltin
game at most of my stand-up shows except on 420 a parlor live in Bellevue
Washington because I'll be recording my new album that night and I need
all the time I can
get to accomplish
that so we can't play the Leonard Maltin game.
Now it's time for Watch That, Not
This.
The number one movie in the country is
The Hunger Games, which
you may have heard I'm not that crazy about.
Although,
you know one thing I can say about The Hunger Games?
It means people are still reading.
Because if those books
weren't popular, that movie would have
fucking tanked.
So it means people are reading, and I do
appreciate that.
Same thing
with Twilight.
The number two movie is Wrath of the Titans,
which I'm not really interested in seeing.
It's like, what's going to happen?
Put back the Kraken!
So watch whatever the hell you want.
This has been watch whatever the hell you want.
I don't even have an opinion.
See Bully or I will beat you.
From the corrections department,
I've been told that people bounce off of,
instead of crashing through windows,
in Permanent Midnight and Hot Circus Proxy.
Two movies I watched once and then put in the forget about it file.
So I'm glad that's cleared up.
Now it's time for tweet relief.
Tweets about movies.
Past and future Douglas Movies guest Dan Telfer tweeted,
How's that guy's zoo working out?
Did he fall in love with that model turned zookeeper?
Did a tiger devour his daughter?
New wombat house?
This has been Tweet Relief.
Tweets about movies where someone
buys a zoo, plays a factor.
Someone buys a zoo.
That would be just as good as we bought a zoo.
Someone buys a zoo.
Turns out it's not worth watching. It's just somebody. Some guy bought a zoo someone buys a zoo doesn't turns out it's not worth watching it's just somebody some guy
bought a zoo normally very charismatic guy playing a boring guy good call matt damon
all right the third round of uh tournament of championships three is about to begin let's see
what you guys are gonna win holy shit from the up, still left over from the lead up,
one of your bags tonight is,
it's written right here, I'll just read it to you,
is an electronic guitar bag.
So I think this part right here,
if you turn this speaker on,
maybe you can play it like a guitar,
and it's on a fucking bag?
It's on a murse that you would carry over your shoulder
it's fucking crazy uh one of my guests brought a nice framed picture that was drawn by my guest
and it says principal rockaway had a different agenda and then it's a guy shuffling papers around
so i don't know she said to me's like, I don't even like this one.
But it came off the wall.
And oh, this is exciting.
From, not a guest tonight, but this is a program from last year's Action Fest,
the film festival with a body count,
that happens in Asheville, North Carolina every year around this time.
And so there's a program from last year's.
And then, just to get you fired up about it, I around this time. There's a program from last year's.
Just to get you fired up about it.
I hope it works.
Then someone's going to get an Action Fest t-shirt.
Action Fest this year I believe is the 12th
to the 15th. I can't attend this year because I'm going to be
at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival in
Portland, Oregon.
I'm on board for Action Fest next
year because it's all
action movies and it's programmed by the guy who does
Midnight Madness at the
Toronto Film Festival where
he showed Raid last
September. The Raid.
I should say, he didn't show a can of bug
spray. He showed
The Raid, Redemption,
Ghost Protocol,
and I didn't get
to see it in Toronto, but I did see it at
South by Southwest, and it's amazing.
So I have some Action Fest t-shirts. I'm going to just throw them into the audience.
Because whoever
wins the bag only needs to win one shirt.
If you know what I'm saying.
That's how it works.
Is there somebody that would like a baby tee?
Raise your hands if you're a baby tee.
Here you go.
Alright, so somebody's going to win an Action Fest shirt.
And then also, oh, there's so many good things.
Oh, also from Action Fest, the kind of movie they play there,
Ong Bak on, oh, it's not on Blu-ray?
That's a piece of shit.
How rude.
Oh, my God, you guys.
This is totally going to give away who's coming here.
The complete Garfunkel and Oates collection.
All signed by both of the girls
because Ricky's backstage just hanging out.
All four, all three
of the smash hit
directorial
achievements of Edgar Wright
on Blu-ray. achievements of Edgar Wright on Blueway.
And also
The Adventures of Tintin, which he does not take
full credit for because he is a gentleman.
And he
co-wrote it and did not direct it.
And holy
shit, what else is here? I think
one last thing.
A motion picture. Do you guys remember the
recent reboot of Star
Trek? That's in
here too.
Please welcome Kate McHughie, Edgar
Wright, and Simon Pegg.
Thank you. Okay, for the record, I did not milk that in any way.
Everyone just came out and sat down.
This is going to be the most docile panel
that we've had on this show in a while,
so I'm very excited.
Simon's already got the microphone
several feet from his face.
He's not anxious to jump in.
No, I'm just taking it.
I just got here, as you know.
I'm glad you made it. Thank you for, as you know. I'm glad you made it.
Thank you for making it on time.
I'm glad, yeah.
That's as exciting as a J.J. Abrams action sequence.
Let me ask, just right off the bat,
we've got to go Ghost Protocol.
I'm obsessed with Ghost Protocol.
The subtitle and the movie.
And I just have to ask you,
were you personally relieved
that the
mask-making machine
was gonna be on the fritz in this
movie, so no one ever had to
pull their face off and be somebody else?
I was slightly disappointed, but
the thing is, if you do
play a character wearing a mask,
then some other actor comes in and plays you
whilst they're doing that thing.
It's not always that fun if you're an agent, because
there's a great action sequence, but it's some other
actor playing your part.
I was kind of pleased that
I didn't have to wear a mask, but I was also personally
relieved by Tom on a daily basis.
Anyway. I don't know how he does it is there a more positive life force in in the in the universe i swear to god and anyone that comes within five feet of him just falls in love with him i was like
i i i he's he's he's so yummy it's unbelievable he's a dreamboat having having met him as well i can confirm if you
meet tom cruise he will reduce you to being an 11 year old girl if i saw it happen with him
if you are an 11 year old girl you will explode he said he said to edgar when he came edgar came
to see me on the mission impossible 3 set and uh and and uh what did he said, you directed
Channel of the Dead? You directed that?
That was good.
That was great. And he just kept saying
positive affirmations.
I just have to set the scene.
As I'm walking onto the set of
it's IMF, right? I was thinking
you always call it Mission Impossible
GP. It's only one
letter away. If it was Ghost Protocol Service
it would be
Mission Impossible GPS
it's so close
in Spain it's called
Protocol Fantasma
which is
I think is better
that makes it sound like
Ghostbusters
did you know that
I learned this last night
on Conan O'Brien show
Kate Micucci's last name
is
has the hilarious word Coochie in it.
Which I had never drawn that.
I even go Micucci.
I even give it a little extra, get it away from Coochie.
I like the way you say my last name.
It's really cool because it has a little extra like eww to it.
Yeah, yeah.
Kate Micucci is here, everybody.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Yeah, Kate Micucci is here, everybody.
Yeah, that's her. That's her.
I was trying to text Kate's name to a friend at my iPhone.
The autocorrect made it into Kate Mitchum.
Which is a way better name.
It's way cooler.
It's an action figure, yeah.
Like the new Cynthia Rothrock.
You're like Robert Mitchum's granddaughter you know I saw that rear
window thing it was a fact it was just a fact it wasn't a joke it was an observation and it was a
she could be yeah that's who she could be but then I just lowered looking at you that we both watched
that somebody did that with that awesome recut of Rear Window that only takes
three minutes to watch and doesn't have
Jimmy Stewart in it.
You say that like it's a bad thing. No, but it's
really cool. Yeah, that was amazing.
Somebody else had tweeted about it and I watched it and then I saw
you tweet about it. Then I brought it up
here. Listen, you guys,
I'm going to walk you through all of this
because I need it. Jordan's here
all the time. He has a baseball that he uses as his name tag. I hope... I've going to walk you through all of this. Because I need it. Jordan's here all the time. He has a baseball that he uses as his name tag.
And I hope Simon, I got to say, Simon, about you,
that the time that you and Rainn Wilson and James Gunn all ran onto the show,
you have to run into everywhere you go now.
You only play characters that are trying to fix shit in a hurry
and run in at the last minute and survive.
There's a time limit on what I'm doing.
There was a little timer in my car
and it was counting down to zero
and I got here just at one,
which is how I like it, to be honest.
Yeah, you always bring it down to the wire.
And that happened at South by Southwest last year.
Yeah, yeah.
And the three of you, though,
it was amazing because people can go back
and listen to it.
I've had guests on this show
that have been on numerous times
that can't figure out
how the games work.
And you and James Gunn
and Rainn Wilson
were like,
negative names.
Like, you were on it.
You were like going for it
without even knowing
what you were doing.
Like, not even knowing the rules.
I was driving here tonight
literally going,
how the fuck does that game work?
I can't remember.
I have complete confidence that you will
pick it up again and be an
absolute menace. I hope so. Now, I don't
know if we played Build a Title, though,
on that particular show. That might have been before
I was playing it on every episode.
It's hard to pick up.
People have a hard time with it.
We'll start with Kate and go to Edgar
and then Simon and see what happens.
Let's talk movies for a few more seconds
since we've got Kate McHugh here.
Hi.
I was going to ask you about,
are you still on that show,
Raising Hope, Ghost Protocol?
Raising Hope, Ghost Protocol.
Yes, I am on that show. Fantasma. Yeah, Raising Hope Ghost Protocol yes I am on that show
Phantasma
yeah
Raising Hope Phantasma
no I
I don't know
now
no the show I'm on
is Raising Hope
and yeah
I think it has a few more episodes
I'm not sure when the final
I think it's in a few weeks
the series finale
or I mean season finale
I should say
oh
you went all British for us
it's not on the bubble
it's doing great right
no it's doing well yeah
yeah yeah yeah okay good good good so that'll be back and you'll so you'll be back for more. It's not on the bubble. It's doing great, right? No, it's doing well, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, good, good, good.
So that'll be back, and you'll be back for more when it's back?
I hope so.
Okay.
Still officially recurring.
Yes, that's right.
Okay.
Well, it gives you time to go out with Garfunkel.
Exactly.
Garfunkel's here.
Yeah, I know.
I mentioned she's backstage.
All this stuff you brought is signed by the two of you, which is awesome.
And thank you for being here, and I hope aren't too intimidated by uh who you're going
up against um i am actually i will say i am very intimidated because here's the thing edgar has
heard you on the show and he knows you're you you use ghost protocol you do you're not
people don't expect you to win, but you're sitting here today.
Are you authorized to use that?
See, but the thing about it is I'm... She's also off the grid.
Is she rogue?
She's totally rogue.
Oh, shit.
If she's rogue off the grid, goes protocol.
I do look very dangerous.
What about if you pulled your mask off and you were Jon Oates?
Oh, my God.
That would be kind of awesome.
I wish I could do that.
I wish these guys
would stop saying mosque.
It's not a religious center.
It's a thing.
It's rubber on your face.
Wait, wait, wait.
It's a fucking mask.
Have you not seen
Jim Carrey's The Mosque?
I have.
That's what he started doing dramas.
The Mosque of Zorro when he converts.
He's taken away from ruining his career.
Dumb and Dumber, he's doing it again.
Finally.
It's really happening.
I don't know if Jeff Daniels is doing it.
Is he?
Is he in?
Okay, Jeff Daniels is in.
More explosive diarrhea
i can't get enough of that i can't
that's how you say it none of this shite
do you think you could get jj abrams to call the next Star Trek Star Trek 2 Ghost Protocol? Sure.
He's got a sense of humor.
What was the prequel to Dumb and Dumber called?
Dumb and Dumberer.
Right?
Wouldn't it be great
to have a wormhole in time
where they met
the younger actors as well?
Wouldn't that be a great
sequel to Dumb and Dumber?
Who's high now?
I always thought that was a missed opportunity with Napoleon
Dynamite, is that both John Heder and
is it Efren Ramirez?
Is that his name? Yeah. The guy who plays Pedro.
They both have twin brothers.
Both those actors have twin brothers. What?
And in the first one, there's
you know, they have a plot line with this time machine.
Like, obvious fucking sequel.
Like, go back in time and meet the other brothers.
They blew it by waiting six years and making a cartoon nobody wanted to watch.
I haven't seen that.
Yeah, I was like, I love that movie, but I was like, cartoon? Okay.
Whatevs.
I love that movie, but I was like, cartoon?
Okay.
Whatevs.
Edgar, what can you tell us, if anything,
about the movie that you were writing with Simon?
I can only tell you that it's written,
and hopefully we'll do it very soon.
That's all I can tell you.
Let me see if I can get more out of Simon.
He's right here.
I've got it on my iPhone.
We can do a little reading if you like. Oh, yeah, if you don't mind.
No.
Same, same.
Do what he says.
I'll tell you all about it.
Great.
Here we go.
Does it have ukuleles?
Oh, plenty of them.
I know.
All right.
In Italy, you'll have the word phantasma in the title.
Yes.
People are just excited, I think.
I know I am.
I want to see what's next.
We get superstitious, though.
Yeah.
I don't know if I have a jinx on it.
That makes perfect sense.
You're right.
You're absolutely right.
I shot the cover for my new album, and it's me in a hoodie.
And now I'm like, are people going to think that this tragic thing occurred? And I was like are people gonna think that
this tragic thing occurred
and I was like I got a funny idea
it's all about timing
so I was in Minneapolis
and I texted you
tweeted you texted you a picture
of there's this bar there
do you know of it Simon?
it's Donnie Dirk's
I wrote it down,
zombie bar.
They only show horror movies on the TVs.
Never any sports or shit
like that. And all of the people behind
the bar, all the bartenders wear white t-shirts
and red ties like Sean
in Shaun of the Dead.
And it's in a really
shitty weird
creepy part of town
but all the
you know
kind of
cooler kids
seemed to find it
and I had a really
nice time
I want to go there
just to see if I do
if I get a free drink
because if I don't
I'll be so fucking annoyed
I'll tell you
I said
do you know who I am?
I texted it to Edgar,
and then he wrote back,
tell everybody I say hello,
or something nice like that.
Like, you know, that kind of shit that he says.
And then...
Mosque.
I went over to the...
Tell everyone I love mosques.
And, uh...
I go...
I can't believe I'm the loud loud obnoxious one for once i wish jeff garland could
have been in that third seat what was so weird about what was so weird about that text that you
sent me is i was in tallahassee in florida in a bar called the fermentation lounge that was having
a zombie killer night and they had invited me there and people were dressed up as zombies and
they had horror films playing on the TV and then I got the
text from you and then like Napoleon and Pedro's brothers came in Simon and then
they pulled their face up and it was Simon underneath and Oates was there and it was
fucking crazy
from Hall and Oates, not you.
We know John Oates, not to brag or anything,
but it's really nice.
You know Johnny O?
Yeah, Johnny O.
When Johnny O emails me, he'll say, hey, Oates,
which I think is nice.
He's totally cool with me having his name.
Oates to Oates.
I love it.
That's great.
But anyway, so yeah, so I went over to the bartender, one of the bartenders.
It's just one of those things where somebody there thinks it's a great theme for a bar,
but it's not like everyone there is just like lives and breathes horror.
And so I said to the one guy, hey, I'm friends with Edgar Wright.
And he just wanted me to say, hey, I told him about this bar and the guy was like you know just like
nodding like
I didn't want to go further and be like
Edgar Wright directed
the movie that you're dressed up as
but it was just
you know it was just those things are always weird
but I still I got so excited
the reason that he gave you that reaction is
I've been there before and didn't pay my tab you slipped out in some sort of mosque Eric Stoltz
in mosque sounds like a headline he got drunk and stumbled into a mosque
made some trouble
can I try my
mosque of sorrow joke again
please
it went well
I think I stepped on it
I'm sorry
I apologize
I recently did
a Benson movie interruption
where we sit in the front row
me and some friends of mine
and we have microphones
and we
you know
lovingly crack jokes during sometimes we some friends of mine and we have microphones and we you know lovingly
crack jokes during sometimes we show really good
movies and we showed
MI4GP and
it was so much
fun and so I
know that Kate and Edgar I've asked them both to
participate and Kate is just like
I don't know if I can make jokes about a movie
while it's happening and
that's a pretty accurate impression
and Edgar was like I don't know if I can make jokes about a movie while it's happening. That's a pretty accurate impression.
Edgar was like,
I forbid you to show a thing. There was one movie I was going to show, John Carpenter's The Thing,
because it's awesome, and I thought
it would be fun to watch it and comment on it,
and he was just like, that's sacrilege.
You can't show a classic.
So now that I know the rules...
I like texting the words, I forbid you, Doug.
Yes.
You were very determined to stop me from doing it.
So let me just run this one by you.
The next one on April 11th, Wednesday,
one week from tomorrow,
is going to be The Grey.
I like that.
Where I'm hoping to get the opportunity
to ask Liam Neeson,
go, okay, I need you to get under the wolf.
Next, you're going to be taken.
I have a certain set of skills.
Yes.
He's got to have a certain set of skills
if he's in the snow and there are wolves.
If he's going to make it to the end.
I hope it's not one of those twisty things
where he gets killed early on.
That's the next one we're going to do.
There's an actor in that movie, The Grey,
whose name is Joe Anderson.
And he's also in The Ruins.
And he's also in that horror show, The River.
And the thing you should take from this is never go on holiday with that guy.
He's a very cursed individual.
So Simon, now I'm asking you in front of everybody would is that something you would do sit and and and make wise during a movie we did that you
weren't involved with or one that you were involved with if you're in we did it we actually did a live
commentary on Shaun of the Dead once in the UK with an audience with an audience that's a classic and you talk during it you know what like I made it we're allowed yeah that's true
that's a very good point but it became a bit of a mess as well we never put on
the DVDs no it was kind of just people started watching the movie and well yeah
that but that's what happens like during ghost Protocol we would I know what you were saying
we would
we would
you know
lose ourselves in the movie
for a while
but then
it's also just
it's so much more fun
during the parts where
you know
I'd seen it already
but some had seen it
for the first time
but it's just fun that
you know
during action sequences
it's fun to also have laughs
it's brilliantly ludicrous
that film
we kind of all know
it's willfully ludicrous and I think that's part of the appeal of it you know so it's brilliantly ludicrous that film i mean we kind of all know it's it's it's willfully ludicrous and and i think that's part of the appeal of it you know so it's it's totally ripe
for taking the piss out of i think what's yeah but i don't think anyone insulted the performances
per se it wasn't better not done i came from the palisades tonight you bastard the traffic was terrible one second was left on the clock you made it man you
always make it because I got it that was one thing I noticed watching it again everything that Benji
tells them is definitely gonna work doesn't work at some point yeah everything break everything
breaks at some point or you stick your face in where it's not supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah. That's a deleted scene.
When it starts, there's a scene.
No, in front of that camera, not Tom Cruise.
Not Paula.
Oh, Tom.
Or Paula.
Either or, to be honest.
They're both gorgeous.
It's a deleted scene.
What a sexy set.
It's a deleted scene of Benji French kissing a moth.
We had to cut it out for religious reasons.
kissing a mosque we had to cut it out for religious reasons the no but there's a bit with the beginning when Ethan first gets the mission and the thing
doesn't blow up that's what always happens in the movies is this world
self-destruct in five seconds and it doesn't go and it's a little Harbinger
that everything breaks in the film and I kind of thought that was fun and he
walks over and you know we realize that it hasn't gone off he walks over
and hits it
like he's Fonzie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because he kind of
is a Fonzie
for the modern age.
He's a total Fonzie.
Only Fonzie
could drive a car
off of the fourth story
of a parking garage
and be like
the airbag's
going to take care of me.
And then go like that
stop the wheel blowing up
and say sit on it.
I did a thumbnail for those listening.
If only.
Why aren't you feeding lines to Tom on the set?
Oh, fuck.
Do you know what?
This is a true story and it was enormous fun.
Tom, I used to do Michael Caine voice on set because it would be,
come on set like this and I'd say right
we're going to hear yours in a second Cade
I'd say right here we go
we're going to do a scene now Tom
and I want you to do the same as me
and he became obsessed with
because he's so focused on
what he wants to achieve
he wanted to get the voice right
so I could essentially make Tom
say anything I wanted
just by saying it in a Michael K voice
because he would repeat it back to me
in the Michael K voice.
So we'd come on set in the morning
and go, hello Tom.
And he'd go, hello Simon.
And then I'd go, big fat airy balls.
And he would say whatever.
And it was such a...
I would get giddy with excitement
because I was drunk with power because I was I could control Tom Cruise and he was it
would I would laugh so much my eyes bled he's fucking who that guy I you know
I've I've been in his presence a couple times and it's it's overwhelming it is
when he's looking at you going big hairy balls it's the weirdest thing in your i wouldn't
be able to take it because i can't talk to him or michael caine and if they were if they were both
in one super awesome person fucking tom cruise should play michael caine in the michael caine
story you get to fuck a black lady? Indian, Indian, sorry.
He's already close.
He's already played Austin Powers.
And Michael Caine is Austin Powers' dad.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
That's the kind of competition we're dealing with tonight.
Oh, Jesus, he's the worst.
He knows everything.
Well, I was going to ask you about movie interruptions.
In a real cinema, what's the weirdest or funniest thing that somebody has said out loud you know when you've been watching a movie for real oh that's a good one i have a good weird one oh that's is that the tools no that wouldn't happen to me i
was in the screening of i went to see hostile 2 in like one of the other empire there's that
terrible one in new york that's like a fire trap there's like 40 screens, like the Ewok or something like that.
It's got this horrible escalator that goes all the way up.
And it was like a one in the afternoon showing.
And there was me and like a couple sitting right at the back.
And there was basically a couple at the back and me.
And then about an hour and ten minutes into the film, if anybody's ever seen Hostel Part 2,
there's a scene where somebody is being eaten.
Like there's a sort of a body and there's a cannibal eating this man
on this platter. And this guy
came into the screen,
sat right next to me, and went
Beautiful!
Nice!
Here we go!
And then I moved one
seat away.
Like he was having a piss next to me.
I was like, I'm just going to go one away.
Or like you were two buddies that went there together.
You always have that one seat in between.
People like to have that barrier there.
All right, let me ask you guys this.
Do any of you hunger for games?
Yes. It's time to play. We any of you hunger for games? Yes.
It's time to play.
We're going to start with Build a Title.
Hopefully Simon will pick up on this.
It's unnecessarily difficult to figure out,
and that's part of why I love it.
We'll start with Kate.
The beginner title suggested by Son of Dribbler
on Twitter.
Big fan of his dad yeah i hope he lives up to the legacy of dribbler the movie is called army of darkness so you need to there's a person that likes it
uh so you need to end with you gotta that likes it so you need to end with
you gotta start with darkness
or part of darkness or
end with army or part of army
oh I get it you know what I'm saying
see he's good at this shit
wait no there's a movie but
it's something in the army but it's
in the army now yeah yeah the now ruins it
darn it holy shore yeah holy shore and Yeah, the now ruins it. Pauly Shore.
That's not helping.
Shoot, okay.
Is there a movie called Darkness Falls?
Darkness Falls.
Okay, cool.
Thank goodness.
For a second I thought you said Darkness Balls.
Darkness Balls.
Darkness Balls. That's a Darkness balls. Darkness balls.
I can do it with you too. That's a hard one to get down.
Was Mel Gibson in The Beaver?
Was The Beaver Michael Caine?
Was he doing him?
What do you mean?
Have you seen it?
I haven't.
He's got like a cockney.
It seems like he's doing Michael Caine.
Oh, I don't know.
Yeah, that's what people said about it.
But I thought I'd find out from you. Go suffer through, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, that's what people said about it, but I thought I'd find out from you.
Go suffer through the beaver and let me know.
I feel like...
It's actually not that bad.
It's not that bad, actually.
Go suffer through the beaver.
And let me know.
Endure the beaver.
I feel like Falls is going to be really hard.
Yeah, that's part of the fun.
Yeah?
Darkness Falls.
Well, they can go...
Yeah, you're right.
Falls is a hard word to start off the title with,
but you still got Army on the other end, Edgar.
Yeah.
So what...
Yeah, no, the falls, the S on the end of falls
fucks it all up, doesn't it?
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
But Army's a fun word to build off of.
I thought of one.
Can I just say I have no idea what's going on.
You thought you had it,
then you lost it?
I was joking when I said I had it.
Oh.
Well, Edgar might,
this might be,
this might be Kate's to win,
because Edgar might not be able to add to it.
Oh, there must be an army,
something ending with army.
There's got to be.
Yeah, yeah.
Especially part of army.
Oh, right, right. There's parts of army that I think there's lots of titles that would fit.
Oh.
Interesting.
You know.
I'm kind of stumped a little bit.
You know, arm.
I know.
Let me think.
Hang on a second.
You hang on a second.
You're so flirty when you said that.
You hang on a second.
I might have to sit this one out.
Okay.
I'm stunned at the moment.
It doesn't matter who wins.
Doesn't it?
Kind of matters.
Okay, Simon. So do you have any idea how to play this no I'll give you just for the fun of it
I'll give you my example we'll call Kate the winner but my example would be I
would add to the beginning funny far me of darkness because you can use part of the word
instead of the whole word.
So you don't necessarily need all of army.
You just need the arm part to go
Funny Far Me of Darkness.
And then you can also go a bridge to
Far Me of Darkness.
Like that.
And then on Falls, I wouldn't know
what the fuck to do with that.
All's fair in love and something.
Falls well that ends well. All's well that ends well.
All's well that ends well.
You think that's a movie?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is it?
Is it a movie?
If Benji says it is,
he never does anything wrong.
You've got to trust Benji.
Also, isn't it funny
that Tom Cruise goes outside
of the biggest, tallest building
in the world
and then
that guy from the Bomb Squad movie,
he, Jeremy Renner,
Jeffrey Dahmer,
he only has to jump 20 feet,
and he belabors it and worries about it
after Tom Cruise just showed off
right in front of him.
That's true.
That's all I needed true all I need was confirmation he's not even on pretty badass yes and badass and if my
pain said Ethan Hunt it would be cotton you're I'm a slang all right all falls
well that ends well one Brit in the audience got that.
You eat and hunt.
You have to add to funny or something that ends in funny or something that begins with well.
Okay.
I just thought of one.
I thought of a really good one.
I wish there was a movie called Ain't That Funny.
Let's do it right here.
It would really come in handy right now if there was one um and then uh i'm thinking there's got to be like some wellington something or like uh
or whelp i don't know uh that's my answer i don't know okay that, that means Simon's our winner. Well done, Simon.
And
I'll have to double check
and see if All's Well
That Ends Well
is a movie.
Do it when I go.
I thought of
All's Well That Ends
Well Mariachi.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So anyway,
I've played it a few times.
I'm not trying to show off.
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
As you can see, gentlemen and lady,
there are name tags that people have crafted
out of all sorts of crazy things.
And a skull over there.
Is that a real skull?
Okay.
I'll take your word for it.
There's Zach to the future over there.
There's somebody who wrote their name on a dugout,
which I appreciate.
And what's that?
You're holding matches.
I need those too.
I need a dugout and matches.
Somebody hold up some weed with a name written on it.
We're good to go.
But anyway, go out into the audience, each and every one of you,
you can put your microphones down, and just pick the name tag
that you would like to play for tonight
to win all these amazing things that you guys brought for me to give away.
While they're doing that, I'll mention that I'm going to be at the
Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton, Wisconsin on April 9th.
I'll be in Portland, Oregon doing Douglas movies
on April 14th and April 15th
at a club called Helium.
I'll be in Bray, California.
Can I just ask, what's with all the cocks?
What's with the cocks?
Oh, people drew naughty pictures on them?
Yeah, what is with that?
Is that like a...
I saw two.
That one there looked like it was
a penis urinating
on a piece of...
It said,
stay classy on it.
Is that a tribute
to Superbad
drawing penises
on everything?
Greg Mottola's here
somewhere in the organization.
That's why I brought it up.
I think that's awesome.
Anyway,
maybe at the
Brea Improv
in Brea, California
on the 16th,
douglasmovies.com
for all my dates.
Simon is playing for
the guy who crafted
a Zack to the Future sign.
You've got to love
the artistry.
Very nice.
And don't read
what that says on the back.
That's if he loses,
that's his consolation prize
as I will say that out loud.
Okay.
And what is Simon?
I mean,
you're both Simon to me.
That's beautiful.
All British people are Simon.
What do you got there, Edgar?
It's a skull.
It's a jewel-encrusted skull,
probably from Gem Madness.
You know that was the original title
of Indiana Jones 4?
And the jewel-encrusted skull.
And what's her name?
It's Carla with a K.
Carla with a K.
No shitheads on the back there.
Okay, so she'll have to come over and write it down if need be.
But my money's on Edgar tonight, as it always is.
And what do you have there?
You have a big cookie, Kate.
It says Lauren.
It's sort of hard to tell that it says Lauren, but it looks amazing.
Yeah, it looks amazing and nothing like Lauren.
She nailed everything but the word Lauren.
Maybe it's in braille.
Giant cookie.
Did she write anything on the back?
Oh, it says Lauren.
It says Lauren on the back as well?
No, there's nothing on the back.
She wants me to call herself a shithead?
There's no shitheads on the back.
Okay, cool.
Just chocolate chips.
All right.
We'll touch base with them later as need be, as we need to.
The Leonard Malt game, we're going to start with you, Simon,
and then we'll go to Edgar and Kate.
And you get to pick a category, as you might recall
from when you played at South by Southwest.
Yeah.
Which whatever category you think you'll most likely know
the answer, the name of the movie.
Your first option from at Mr. Underscore Jowie
J-O-W-E-E on Twitter.
He suggested everybody
must get boned.
Which is movies that feature
an orgy scene.
Or
the guy behind me
what?
I've been missing those movies.
Chipwrecked didn't have an RGC.
At Badass Gags.
The squeak rule certainly did.
That's what all the squeaking was about.
Badass gags suggested No homo
You know like the expression no homo
But no homo as in
A movie where the main character's
Home is destroyed
No homo
People are getting creative with this shit.
Or it's our friend,
past and future guest of the show,
Adam Scott's birthday.
So the films of Adam Scott.
So which one of those would you like, Simon?
I'd like to go for no homo, please.
No homo.
Wait, what did I say this was category was I mixed it up with
another category where a home is destroyed I totally messed it up with
another category but I got this I mixed it up with no home bro let me tell you
what no homo is No Homo is movies where
all the characters are in a hotel
or a motel.
So you could see why I would mix those up.
Fine.
They're similar in some ways, but we'll go No Home Bros
since that's what you asked for.
So this is A Home Gets Destroyed in this movie
from 2005.
It takes place in the state of Denver.
I'm just kidding.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie,
Where a Home Gets Destroyed, from 2005.
He calls this movie not your parents' romantic star vehicle.
He also says this movie has a dynamic score.
Yeah, those are great clues.
You're on your way.
And he lists nine names.
So reading from the bottom of the list up, as you recall,
how many names do you think you can get the title of this movie?
What's the least I can offer?
You can go the full nine if you want,
and then leave it up to Edgar to chip away at the bidding.
What?
Like, explain it again.
I think I know what it is.
This might be the only show where the more you do it
the less you're able to do it.
I'm just older than I was last year.
Like you get contact Alzheimer's
from me.
You just say I can name it nine names. Like you get contact Alzheimer's from me. You just say,
I can name it nine names.
You'll get all the names
and then Edgar will have to bring the bidding down,
which he more than likely will do.
And then it doesn't come back around to you
unless it gets to Kate.
Okay, I'll say I can do it in five names.
Yeah, see, that's Edgar's style.
He chips away at it and puts Kate in a position.
Now, she has to either say name that movie
or go for less names.
Four names.
Okay, now it's back to you.
Two names.
Benji.
back to you two names Benji confused just think you're a character I like it when you call me Benji I am gonna go name that movie holy shit so here's what
happens Benji you got me Ethan. You get the four names.
I'm going to need you to take these four names.
I said two. I said two.
Oh shit. Two names.
I'm going to need you to hear these two names.
And then tell me the name of this movie.
And one of the names I think in your particular case
is a great clue.
Three stars from Leonard.
Not your parents romantic star vehicle.
2005 dynamic score. And your two names are Michelle Monaghan Three stars from Leonard. Not Your Parents Romantic Star Vehicle. 2005.
Dynamic score.
And your two names are Michelle Monaghan and Rachel Huntley.
So they're the ninth and eighth billed people in this movie.
Is it...
Oh, that's not what I thought.
House Gets Destroyed.
House Gets Destroyed.
Kiss Gets Bang Bang? No. Awesome guess, though. What is it, Edgar? I'm not sure. oh that's not what i thought house gets destroyed house gets destroyed kiss gets bang bang no
awesome guest though what is it edgar i don't i'm not sure i know
kate i have no idea the panel is stumped mr and mrs smith that's what i thought it was
michelle monaghan has a small part in it and I thought since she was in since she had a small part in part four
spoiler. I was gonna go
You know what?
It did have a driving score.
Damn.
You're thinking of Drive.
This movie had a dynamic score.
Yeah, so
I don't remember her being that.
If you had to say Michelle Monaghan...
That's probably the first point you've ever gotten
by making someone else name it.
Yeah, using Sam Levine's tricks.
Sam the man, a.k.a. Lil Wolverine.
All right, this means we're going to start with Kate,
and then we'll move to Edgar.
And you guys are playing to three points,
and the show's already running long,
and I don't care.
Yeah, we're going to do this.
This has to happen.
Or we could just stop and continue at another time
if you're all going to be available again.
No, you're very hard to pin down.
First category choice, Kate, is is everybody dies that's a motion
picture where at the end everyone's dead the squeak will or at diarrhea
volcano diarrhea volcano diarrhea volcano suggested dawn of the dead and
now is that a name that's book? And that's movies.
That's their Twitter name.
That's their handle.
Right.
Diarrhea Volcano.
But is that a person or is that a company?
Oh, yeah, I didn't click on it to see what they were,
but I think it's a person.
But Dawn of the Dead is movies where Don Cheadle dies. And
At all wasted hours
Suggested The Artist
Which is movies about painters
Which one of those would you like to play?
Let's go with The Artist
Okay
Wow, you get three choices here for a year
Would you like an artist movie
from 96 2000 or 2002 2000 interesting good year it's a great year 2000 anybody
here from 2000 we were so innocent back then three and a half stars from Leonard he calls this movie no pun intended a
vivid portrait and he says that the screenplay is from a book audience
member says lovely three and a half stars two thousand painters are painting
and and there are five six seven eight nine ten eleven names how many names do
you think you get it in Kate McKee um I think I can get two names whoa that's a
strong opening bid Edgar what are you are you going to do with that?
I have a couple of ideas, but I'm not entirely sure.
So I will say name the movie.
Okay.
Would you like all the clues again?
Is it Pollock?
Yes. Yes.
Well done.
The two names are Seda Thompson and Tom Bauer.
That would have so helped you.
Why would you take such a risk?
All right. So Benji's the only one with a goose egg at this point but I'm confident in him because he
always gets it done at the last minute
he's very exciting he will fix the enterprise right at the last minute okay so what happened there Edgar
challenged Kate so start with Simon and then we'll go to Edgar and you get the
category choices between that fresh sash suggested no no home bro but since that
already got taken I'll say no homo. And that's movies in
a motel or a hotel. And then bully. That's movies where a character in the film is bullied.
And I want to give a shout out. I haven't seen that documentary yet, but it sounds important.
I haven't seen that documentary yet, but it sounds important.
And at Death by Donkey suggested Howard the Flock.
And that's movies featuring anyone in Ron Howard's family.
Yeah, so we're talking Rance Howard.
We're talking his dad, Howard.
But Clint Howard is in every movie.
We're talking about Clint. Yeah, Clint works a lot,
especially every Ron Howard movie.
And he always finds a way to get him in there, and it's never like
doesn't stick out. He fits in
in a small weird part. Anyway.
Is he in Willow?
I think he's
in every one of his movies, but that
might be one that he skipped out on.
Maybe he didn't want to go to Yugoslavia or wherever.
I don't know where they shot it.
Probably shot it at Pinewood.
Anyway, what do you think of those categories?
I love them, first off.
I think I'm going to go for no homo,
just for the latent homophobia involved in the...
It's fun.
Which is always funny and ironically bullying.
These movies are only kind of homophobic.
And you get to choose between two different years
of movies that take place primarily in a hotel or motel.
And you get 1998 or 2003.
1998.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah.
Leonard Maltin calls this movie a bomb
on a scale of bomb to four stars.
He calls it slow, stilted, completely pointless.
And he also says the result is an insult.
And there are 13 names.
13 names.
How many names do you think you're going to do?
I'll go eight.
Simon says eight. I will go negative one.
Look who's stepping up. Sh says eight. I will go negative one. Oh! Look who's stepping
up. Shismo.
Alright, so then we go to
Kate. I have to say name that movie.
Yeah, so you get to name it and the
top billed person. It is
Gus Van Sant's Psycho, and it
stars Vince Vaughn. That's correct!
Yeah!
Amazing.
That is some serious shit.
Because I said slow, stilted, completely pointless,
and was wise enough to back off of scene for scene remake.
But it has a couple of extra shots in it, doesn't it?
In the shower scene, they cut in shots of cows being slaughtered extra shots in it, doesn't it? In the shower scene they cut in
like shots of cows being slaughtered.
Yeah. Have you ever seen it?
That's just the British version.
No, I don't remember that.
I mean, maybe they did something like that, but essentially
it was shot for shot.
Which took all of...
It's just so weird experience just watching it.
I mean, it's kind of like watching
the American Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
I'm just kidding.
They're very different.
Okay, so what just happened?
No, no, we're playing to three.
This is the tournament.
Yeah, I got this.
Okay, so Edgar got the point. And who challenged him, Kate? I got this. Okay, so Edgar got the point.
Who challenged him?
Kate?
Okay, so this time we'll go to Simon
and then to Kate.
And Simon gets to pick between
at Pink Dino Death
suggested
My Five
and that's movies where someone plays a flute.
My Five and that's movies where someone plays a flute my five or movies with four letters in the titles that's like uh swat or paul or milk that's right or
i am paul bauer suggested razzie winners that's movies that have won a Razzie for worst film of the year.
During the, I believe the Razzies have been around for 72 years.
So which one of those?
I'll go for the four letter title ones.
Okay, four letter word is the title of this movie.
You get three choices on dates.
Would you like 1980 1980 1985 or 1992
i'm gonna go with 92. okay if you'd have gone 85 it was mosque
that's six letters yeah that's got q u e on the end
m-o-s-q-u-e for sake or is it mask of the red dust isn't that m-a-s-Q-U-E for fuck's sake. Or is it Mask of the Red Death?
Isn't that M-A-S-Q-U-E?
Anyway, 1982,
one and a half stars,
appallingly bad.
82 or 92?
92, I'm sorry.
That's as excitable as they get.
Pedantic.
What year, what year?
92, appallingly bad movie. they get. Pedantic. What year? What year? 92.
Appallingly bad movie.
And he also says
it's a heavy-handed mess.
Let me give you
one more thing.
That's not much to say.
Some sweet moments
at the outset.
But this is
a heavy-handed mess.
One and a half stars
has four letters
in the title.
1992.
And Leonard lists
13 names. Yeah lists 13 names.
Yeah, 13 names.
Simon says...
I'll go eight. Eight names.
Kate?
Seven.
Okay, poker face.
Five.
Oh, he always has to show off. Seven. Okay, poker face. Five.
Oh, he always has to show off.
You could have said to her to name her.
She wouldn't have been able to.
But then maybe she would have been able to.
She uses ghost protocol.
Oh, yeah, watch this.
Four.
Oh.
Is that me now?
Yeah.
Name that movie.
Oh, shit.
Would you like the clues again, Simon?
Yes.
Or would you like to drive the microphone into your eye?
Bit of both, if I'm honest.
One and a half stars.
Appallingly bad movie.
Heavy-handed mess.
But it has sweet moments at the outset.
And there was 13 names total you get
four of them and they are gonna be no help to you whatsoever
good good Yardley Smith art Mitrano Blake Clark and Jamie Foxx yeah right I I didn't know he was in that I saw it in everything 92
Yeah
Any idea?
Not really
Sorry Zach
You've just created a two way tie for first
That does not include you
That's really not very Benji is it?
The answer is toys
Toys Barry Toys!
Barry Levinson's Toys, starring Robin Williams.
And we have a two-way tie for first.
Benji's got quite a hole to dig out of.
I like it.
Ethan Hunt is dangling somewhere.
You can do this for Ethan.
If you had to come back
I wouldn't care if this took another hour
Just to watch you
Just to watch you come back and take it
So who challenged
Simon
I challenged
Okay so we'll start with Edgar and then go to Kate
So Edgar you get to pick
A.C. Cannon suggested Requiem for a Bean
And that's movies where
Sean Bean dies.
Simone Silvana suggested Rocky movies,
and that's films that have an earthquake in them.
And AtCubrick87 says,
First 13 PG-13s.
That's the first 13 movies that got designated the PG-13 rating.
Yeah, which one of those would you like to place?
Edgar?
Get off your phone. I can't. I've got dinner plans.
I'm just telling him I'm going to be late.
Oh, I'm kind of intrigued by this.
There should have been. Benji should have been doing that.
Whenever there's something going down,
he's also texting somebody. I'm going to be late for dinner.
Not going to make it.
Can we go to a later showing?
I'm just telling my wife.
Let's go for the PG-13s.
Okay.
You probably know a lot about that,
so it's a sneaky category.
Would you like a PG-13,
one of the first,
from 1984 or 1984?
1984.
Because it started in 1984.
Three stars from Leonard.
He calls this movie Broad.
And he also says that the score won an Oscar.
And it's three stars from 1984.
And there's six names listed.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Edgar, for the win?
1984, PG-13.
Yeah.
One of the first ones.
One of the first 13.
What are the clues again?
Broad.
Score won an Oscar six names
no coughing the clues why I think it is maybe no I don't know if it's that I
might go I may as well go try to save my you have to go or not go well let's go
I'm not sure about this but let's go I'm not sure
about this but let's go negative one the ones that I thought it was the two the
two that I know the first two and they got bad reviews by Leonard and this is
not one of them so I'm gonna have to go for like let's go he gave it three stars
yeah okay so you see the temple of doing which were the first two PG 13s got bad
reviews by Leonard so I would have got that. Okay. That's been negative one. I've got an idea.
I might be wrong.
You've said some mistruths,
but yeah, okay.
It's true.
That's two stars.
Then it goes to Kate, right?
Yeah, so...
Name that movie.
She says name it.
So what's...
You went negative one,
so you have to name it
and the lead performer.
I think I'm wrong.
Yeah.
I think so too.
So Kate's going to be
our winner.
Is it Ghostbusters with Bill Murray?
No.
Oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What was it?
It was The Woman in Red
with Gene Wilder.
Oh my God.
Which was one of
two movies that were the first two movies that were PG-13
the same day as Dreamscape
came out with PG-13
it was a week after
you know
it was right after they started PG-13
Red Dawn
came out the first week
then the second week was two movies, Dreamscape and Women in Red
and then
of course there were many more to
come but the reason pg-13 was invented was gremlins and in and uh and indiana jones and the tabloid
yeah
all right so uh kate is our winner
well done well done Kate is our winner.
Well done, well done.
But let me tell you some more about the history of PG-13.
Alright, so you were playing for Lauren's Cookie.
Yes, but Lauren needs to tell me who...
Lauren gets to come and collect
all the fabulous prizes.
Oh, no, wait, I'm sorry.
She gets to name a shithead.
It was the skull that gets the prizes.
I got confused.
Wait, wait, Kate won, right?
Oh, wait, yes.
Jesus.
Oh, right.
I wish I could remember to edit that part out.
That really says Lauren?
No, that says Doug.
Oh, it says Doug. Oh, it says Doug.
Oh.
It's two different cookies.
Thank you, Lauren.
Thank you for my Doug cookie. There you go.
You get all that stuff. And yeah, I'll just hang on to that for a second. And Edgar
a shithead needs to be
proclaimed. Could you come over with the skull and
whoever the skull belongs to? You don't have to
bring the skull. You can leave that filthy
skull over there. But just right right there
somebody would like me to call a shithead.
This is a pretty good one. That's fun.
Alright.
So our winner today is Simon Pegg
everybody.
Thought I'd give everybody a chance to have
a moment of thinking that they won.
You were so good at that
game at South by South.
You know what?
I honestly thought it was
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
and then that fucking Monaghan thing
threw me off
and I lost the game.
What can I say?
It was a good match.
I enjoyed it.
We had a good time.
At the end of the day,
it is a competition
and someone's got to win
and it wasn't me,
but that's fair enough.
So I look forward to playing it again
next time
and maybe love a better chance.
Anyway, thanks.
Thanks, Doug.
I would love to have you on again
and, you know,
I'll email you
but I would love for you
to help us interrupt
a movie sometime.
Absolutely, love to.
Okay, great.
And do you guys have anything
in particular you want to plug?
Kate, do you have anything
you want to tell anybody about?
Oh, yes.
My show,
Playing with Makuchi,
is... She said last time I called her,
she's glad her parents
didn't name her Sharon.
Yeah.
I'd have a different profession.
But yeah,
it's at the Steve Allen Theater
on the 14th of April.
Come on by.
Edgar, everything's top secret, right?
You can't talk about anything.
Well, no, actually, later on tonight,
I ain't going to be in the street
burning a copy of The Woman in Red.
And it was PG-13 for sexiness
it wasn't even violence
like they invented it
because of violence
and then like
the first thing
they slap it on
is you can't see
Kelly LeBrock's boobs
okay and Simon
anything
any release dates
when's Star Trek 2
coming out
May 13th next year
and it's going very well
and we're all very excited
that's all I can say
but I do I have a film coming out this year it's a little British film going very well and we're all very excited. That's all I can say.
I have a film coming out this year. It's a little British film
called Fantastic Fear of Everything.
There will be a trailer online this week.
I'm not sure when it's going to be out here, but it's June 8th
in the UK if you're on holiday.
People listen to this
in the UK. Especially this one
with you fucking...
You mosque motherfuckers. Mosque lovers all over the UK. Oh, good. Well, especially this one with you fucking... You mosque motherfuckers.
Mosque
lovers all over the UK
are rejoicing.
Alright, well, thank you. Let's hear it
for all three of them. What a fantastic...
Amazing...
This means that, you know, against all odds,
Kate McHugh will be competing in the finals of this tournament of championships
against the amazing, these guys are both amazing at this game,
comedian Andy Wood and madman Jon Hamm.
Yeah.
As soon as we can get the three of them in a room together,
it will happen.
So wish me luck on that.
And as always,
Morrissey is a shithead.
And Chris Angel is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another hockey. He rides a world as you and Crowe as makes it foggy.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.