Doug Loves Movies - Super Tournament of Championships 2
Episode Date: May 22, 2014Recorded live at the Neptune Theatre in Seattle, Washington on May 23, 2014. Matt Mira, Ken Jennings, and Samm Levine compete.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California P...rivacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey everybody!
Alright, you ready?
My name is Doug and I love movies!
This is the Hall of Fame!
Holy shit!
Oh man.
And this is the Super Tournament of Championships 2.
Thank you.
Coming to you from the opulent Neptune Theater in the city of Seattle.
I'm in two of my favorite states right now.
I don't even have to finish that joke.
I don't even have to finish that joke.
For people listening, I am high and in Washington.
Hi, Washington.
It's Friday, May 23rd, 2014.
Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2 Judgment Day of the Dead Men Walking.
To all the president's men in Blackfisher, King, Ralph, Dog Day Afternoon, Delight, Sleep Perfect, Murder by Death Wish 3 Amigos. Did you catch that at the end? Amigos. Amigos. all right you guys uh before we get started with this super tournament of championships too
uh i have a special treat that i've lined up because uh some friends of mine have a morning
show here in seattle on uh yeah k-i-s-w 99.9 the the Rock of Seattle. And yeah.
And they graciously agreed to perform a game that they do on their show every morning here in Seattle
on this stage with me tonight.
So please give a big, warm welcome to BJ Shea, Steve the producer, and the Rev from the BJ Shay Morning Experience.
Hi Doug.
How are you doing?
I'm doing great BJ. You're looking great? I'm doing great, BJ.
You're looking great.
I'm looking great and doing great.
I won last night on At Midnight, so I'm the funniest person in the world until Monday.
Memorial Day champion.
Yeah, I'm the Memorial Day champion.
What do you do now that you own the internet, though?
You know, I walk around
in the Seattle Center
with my sash
that says
winner of the internet on it.
They don't even give you one on the show. I just
made one.
Might add a tiara.
I'm going tiara shopping tomorrow.
But that was
the first to speak was BJ Shea, everybody.
Yeah.
He's here.
Then the next one was Steve, the producer.
And then the one
that hasn't spoken yet is the shyest
of the team. Hello.
That is the Rev and Fuego team hello that is the rev and fuego everybody yes
now bj tell us how this game works what's the what's the premise behind uh beat the producers
so the premise of the game is really simple uh we take we usually take listeners uh today it will
be you and for them to win tickets, they have to beat Steve
in a trivia contest. And we bring him on in. Steve gets, he's put in a soundproof room. We ask 10
questions. Within 60 seconds, they have a chance to basically answer, try the best they can to
answer all these pop culture questions. And they get a couple of passes, as much as they want,
but they only get three guesses. And, But the 60 seconds trips people the F out.
Because everybody thinks they can win,
and then once that clock starts ticking,
there's something in your brain, and you've experienced it,
where you just get super dumb.
It's fast, and also you just know everybody's listening or watching,
and that's part of the fun of the games on Doug Loves Movies, is with a crowd like this, you know, the people out here are going to be, you know, pretty nervous.
Like, you know, there isn't a crowd on the set of Freaks and Geeks, you guys.
I listen to Doug Loves Movies all the time.
And BJ, you can say fuck.
I think it's okay.
Did I say fuck?
BJ said F.
You've been saying F? Yeah, he said it trips
people the F out. BJ, say it
trips them the fuck out, man.
I just thought he was saying it in a
fun way, man.
They just tripped the F out, dude.
So just the, you know,
the constant shortening of the
language. I'll tell you this.
I mean, that's obvs what he was doing.
That C.
Crazy.
Who's a parent in the crowd?
Because you know what happens.
When you were younger, you were like fucking everything.
Then that child comes along and you're effing everything.
It's just how it goes.
Don't say fucking in that way, man.
The girl with the hottest, glitteriest top is
a mom in the front row right there.
Good job.
I feel like I'm on Molly when I stare
at her tits, man. This is awesome.
Wow. My wife's
not here. I would have said tease.
Yeah, save this
filth for morning radio, you guys.
This is podcasting.
That's effed up.
Hey, by the way, we're glad to help out.
Yeah, no, I appreciate it.
We're bringing the quality, my friend.
I appreciate it.
This is awesome.
I'm so glad I was able to add this because I love playing this game,
and I love playing games with the audience listening because they're always like,
Doug, you're always so mean to all the contestants, you know,
put your money
where your mouth is. So it's fun to show that
I'm just as dumb as they are.
And I'll probably miss
some real obvious ones. Now tonight, the
Rev, who writes the questions,
made sure to make them all movie-themed.
Yes. Which will make it
extra hard for Steve, because he's more general
knowledge. But,
you know, we tied today.
So this is sort of the rematch.
We tied on the show this morning.
I am so effed in this because the last movie...
You're so effing fucked right now.
The last movie I watched was Zac Efron's That Awkward Moment.
I think I'm...
It was a great film, you guys.
You're missing out.
Oh, I'm sure Rev's got at least seven out of the ten questions about that.
I will dominate in Efron questions, Doug.
It's going to be a bloodbath tonight.
Who plays Zac Efron's girlfriend?
Imogene Poots.
That's true.
Wow.
Wow, he even watches the bad movies.
You're screwed.
Or Imogen Poots.
You said poops.
Poots.
Poots. There said poops. Poots. Poots.
There it is.
So.
We need to see your name tags, you guys.
I know it seems premature.
Look at this.
Whoa.
Whoa.
But there is a prize bag that our friends from the BJ Shea Morning Experience brought.
I'll tell you what.
Tell us what's in here, BJ.
All right.
Well, we've got T-shirts.
Guess what's in here, BJ.
We've got pizza, right, Steve?
We do have pop-up.
One of those.
We have a trifecta of Jason Statham movies in here.
Jason Statham.
Transporter 3, you guys.
Jason.
I'm just going to drive this car.
I just want to drive the car. That's all I want to do. Crank 2. Crank 2, you guys. Jason. I'm just going to drive this car. I just want to drive the car.
That's all I want to do.
Crank 2.
Crank 2, high voltage.
Crank 2 is way better than Crank 1.
Is that the movie where there's a chick in his trunk?
Yes.
Is that the one we're giving away?
Okay.
I'm glad you guys are both crank connoisseurs.
Oh, yes.
That's the one where he banged the girl at the horse track, I believe.
Keep his heart going, guys. Just get in the car
and we'll have sex right there.
Oh, I saw that one! I just saw that
on demand. It's fucking awesome. This isn't a game.
We're not playing a game yet.
Oh, alright. Is that James Franco?
Is he the bad guy? James Franco's the bad guy in that one?
Oh, I guess so. He's in it.
James Franco's the psycho in that one.
He looks really serious on the cover.
People's arms are getting tired.
So Steve and I,
I never get to pick a name tag, so I'm excited
about this. I'm going to pick one. Wow, look at this.
Doug,
I was wondering why that guy has a pizza box
and it's Patza. Patza.
That's pretty good. Yeah, they're all clever.
Doug spotting.
That's awesome. I do like the Doug spotting one.
Oh, that one's a very brooding picture of me.
And what does it say?
Crossing Doug Lancey.
Wow, that's a really...
He's got pizza in there, dude.
Interesting one.
How old's the pizza?
There's Normsy up front.
Still warm, Steve.
So just pick who you want to play for And take their name tag from them
Oh man I am torn
Not another Sam movie that's pretty awesome
But I gotta go with Doug Spotting
Oh if you're going Doug Spotting
Then I'm going Crossing Doug Lancey
Yes
Yeah congratulations
By the way Seattle
Because Doug I've done this with you before
This crowd has represented well with the signs
Seriously man you guys rock Wow Doug, I've done this with you before. This crowd has represented well with the signs. Oh, yeah. It's a good.
Seriously, man.
You guys rock.
Wow.
This is very impressive.
I love our town.
We represent.
That's awesome.
These are both crazy.
This is awesome.
Doug, I never knew you could wear a dress so well.
Dude, you look hot in these pictures. Yeah, you do knew you could wear a dress so well.
Dude, you look hot in these pictures.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah.
Tearing it up.
Yeah.
I'm glad he found five different Doug mugs from the internet.
Yeah.
Doug mugs.
To put on all those bodies.
If they had the baby in the crib on this, that would have been just amazing.
Or if there was shit all over it would be good too.
Or S. That would be a good train spotting reference. There's a lot of S on there. There's a ton of S on there. Just smear some shit all over it, it would be good, too. Or S. That'd be a good train spotting reference.
A lot of S on there.
There's a ton of S on this.
Just smear some S all over that.
There's a bunch of S on this fucking sign, man.
Yeah.
I like Doug number three.
All right.
Doug three.
That's your Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross Doug.
I should get that suit.
That's a good suit.
Coffee is for closer, Doug, on that one.
Yeah.
All right, you guys.
I get to go first? Yeah. Yeah. Do you have. Let's I get to go first.
Yeah. Yeah. Do we have a do you have a theme song for this game?
Yes, we do. Let's can we play that in the sound booth?
Let's play. Be the producer.
Be the producer. Be the producer.
Oh, be the producer.
You're going to lose.
It is time!
Time for
Beat the producer!
Oh, S.
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
Fuck.
All right.
All right, so Steve has to leave.
Steve, you do have to leave.
Right.
And cover your ears or something.
We failed to mention we have chopsticks in there also that we're giving away that look like drumsticks.
All right.
That's effing cool.
I'll go one further.
Jon Favreau gave me one of those gold coins that he made commemorative for his movie Chef.
Yeah, and I am re-gifting that in this bag right now.
Right here.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm sure he'll give me another one the next time
I see him.
That's what I'm hoping will happen.
It's pretty nice, isn't it, PJ?
That is really cool. That's very sweet. Are we sure this has
to go into the prize pack? Yeah, it does.
Or you could slip it in your pocket
like a creep.
Walk off
with it. So, yeah, Steve.
So I gotta go run backstage, cover my ears.
I have my friend Ted backstage.
He'll let me know when I need to come back.
I don't want to cheat.
No, I don't want you to cheat.
I want this to be fair and square.
I want to beat your ass.
There you go.
Without any...
All right, we got to send you the good mojo, man,
because there were some questions today
where you were just like, what?
Yeah, you had a panic attack.
I want to see this happen for you. I don't know what
what was it? Ursulus
Americanus? Ursus Americanus?
I don't know what that is. It's the black version
of what animal? Yeah, I don't know.
It's the bear, exactly. People know it.
That's what those questions are like. It either
hits your head or you're just like
I don't even, I've never even experienced
that. You know, when you said how many states in the country're just like, I don't even, I've never even experienced that.
You know, when you said how many states in the country begin with new,
I was like, fucking four, boss.
Yeah.
And that was right.
Can you name those four right now?
Yes, I can.
New Haven.
Yes.
All right, let's do this.
All right, do we have a timer? We have a We have a sound effect timer that's going to start up
I guess
I hope so
For those playing at home, Doug Benson will have 60 seconds
to answer 10 questions
Doug, you can pass all you want, but you will only get
three guesses per question
The timer starts after I ask the first question
Are you ready, sir?
Let's do it, ma'am
What is the title of the 1983 film in which teenager Tom Cruise turns his parents' home into a brothel?
Risky Business.
Yes.
In the movie Pulp Fiction, what is the name of the restaurant Mia brings Vincent to?
Oh, Mother Grabber.
Jackrabbit Slims.
Yes.
What movie did Michael J. Fox learn to skateboard for?
Back to the Future. Yes. What movie did Michael J. Fox learn to skateboard for? Back to the Future.
Yes.
Who was the first character Johnny Depp portrayed in more than one movie?
Oh.
Jack Sparrow.
Yes.
Which 1977 hockey movie involved the characters known as the Hanson Brothers?
Slapshot.
Yes.
Both Sylvester Stallone and Carl Urban have played which comic book character?
Judge Dredd.
Yes. The plot of Moneyball involved which Major League Baseball team?
Oh, Pittsburgh Pirates.
No.
Fucking pass.
Which movie franchise included a franchise within it called Stab?
What?
Which movie franchise included a movie franchise within it called Staff?
Pass.
In 1996, which Shakespearean play did Baz Luhrmann update?
Romeo and Juliet.
Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet.
Yes.
In which movie did a golden retriever have amazing basketball skills?
Air Bud.
Yes.
And Doug Benson gets eight out of ten.
Not bad.
Not bad. All right, Ted, bring Steve out.
I have more of an idea about one of them, but. I like to make predictions when I do the show,
and I am predicting a tie. Really? Yeah, I am. All right I know Steve enough. I think he's gonna, I think Steve's gonna get eight. Oh, hi,
how are you, Steve? I just, I think I
just completely destroyed my own brain, because usually
I go into a soundproof room, but I didn't have a soundproof
room to go into, so I just had my fingers in my
ears the entire time. Oh, you pushed
too far? No, I didn't go that bad.
I just kept going, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la, over
and over to the point where I was even just repulsing myself.
So I don't think I'm going to do all that well, Doug.
It's really fucked up.
You're trying to say you think now that you're higher than I am.
No, that's impossible.
Is that any way?
All right, well, I get to stay because I already know all the answers.
I'll try to help you out.
All right, Steve, are you ready?
I am.
What is the title of the 1983 film in which teenager Tom Cruise turns his parents' house into a brothel?
Oh, oh, um, Risky Business.
Yes.
In the movie Pulp Fiction, what is the name of the restaurant Mia brings Vincent to?
Oh, man, uh, Expensive Clock Up His Ass.
No.
Um, fuck, The Gimps.
No.
Um, The Briefcase and His Ass. No. Fuck. The Gimps. No. The Briefcase and Sons.
No.
I don't know.
What movie did Michael J. Fox learn to skateboard for?
Back to the Future.
Yes.
Who was the first character Johnny Depp portrayed in more than one movie?
Oh, the Pirates film.
Pirates of the Caribbean.
What is the first character Johnny Depp portrayed in more than one movie?
Jack Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow.
Yes.
Which 1977 hockey movie involved...
Slapshot.
Yes.
Jesus.
Both Sylvester Stallone and Carl Urban have played which comic book character?
Oh, the Anthrax song.
I'm in the law.
Judgery Executioner.
Judgery Executioner.
Yes.
The plot of Moneyball involved which Major League Baseball team?
The Athletics.
Oakland.
Yes.
Which movie franchise included a movie franchise within it called Stab?
Fuck.
No.
Tropic Thunder.
No.
I know that one now.
Stab Infection.
No.
In 1996, which Shakespearean play did Baz Luhrmann update? The Girl and the Guy. Romeo and Juliet. No. In 1996, which Shakespearean play did Baz Luhrmann update?
The Girl and the Guy.
Romeo and Juliet. Yes.
In which movie did a golden retriever have
amazing basketball skills?
Oh, Air Bud. Yes, and that
makes it a tie. No, it doesn't.
It does.
It makes it a tie.
Hey, do I get
the prize, right? We missed different ones.
Yeah.
But we both missed stab because it's scream.
Yes, it's scream.
Not to make excuses, but I thought you said stat.
I thought he said staff.
Like staff infection.
Yeah, yeah.
I blame the rev then.
Why?
You can't blame me for it.
Well, we both missed that one, and we still tie, because which ones did we miss each?
Well, you missed the Athletics.
Steve missed Jackrabbit Slims for the restaurant in Pulp Fiction,
and then you missed the Oakland Athletics
as being the plot of Moneyball.
All right, so I'll see you again, my friend.
We always tie.
We always tie.
I'm going to dump the contents of the bag onto the stage and the two winners
have to fight over.
Bring out
the jello pool. No, I'll just put it
right here and you guys come. Just decide.
Split it up and I'll pour some
vodka on it too.
Wow. But just split it up accordingly.
Go.
And action.
Wait.
She brought in the muscle.
Oh.
But, like, just, you know, like, you know, she doesn't want crank, too.
Let's be honest.
It could be a thing.
She could broaden her horizons.
Yeah, there's a shirt.
I think they're doing a great job of splitting it up.
Hey, look at this.
Yeah.
I think the pizza guy should give them pizza.
The tie always goes to the listener when they play on the show.
They play two times each morning at 6 and 8.45.
6.45 and 8.45.
Somewhere between 6 and 10.
Yeah, yeah.
They play twice each day.
It's such a fun game.
And thank you guys so much for your ongoing support of me and Doug Loves Movies.
Thank you.
The BJ Shea Morning Experience, everybody.
Thanks, you guys.
You can also have your name tags back, Doug Spotting and Crossing Doug Lancey.
And since you both got some prizes, I didn't read either
shithead, but I do agree with yours, ma'am.
Dear Neptune Theater,
you're
beautiful. Can I have another
cocktail?
Signed.
I love that neither one of you wanted the bag
all the shit came in.
I'll hang on to it.
I need bags.
Bags are important
in this line of work.
Look at this flimsy thing I brought
from the hotel.
It's a much better bag.
Let's go ahead and do it, you guys.
Let's find out what's on the line tonight for the Tournament of Championships.
We got an At Midnight t-shirt.
A Getting Doug With High mug.
A guy in Austin gave me a copy of Horrible Bosses.
There's a co-
Oh, thank you, sir.
I liked the way you had the hand megaphone to let me know.
Doug!
Cocktail!
Doug!
Get it!
I'll tell you about this when the guest comes out here.
And, uh, ooh, copy of Gateway Doug.
You won't be seeing these for much longer
because I'm going to give away Gateway Doug 2 soon.
A whole box of Humboldt hemp wick,
which is, you know, organic
and an alternative to using a butane lighter.
And I got a bunch of smaller hemp wicks
that I just want to give away right now. I just want to throw them into the crowd. So if you want
a hemp wick, throw your hand up. And if you don't want to get hit in your face, throw your hands up.
Throw your hands up. Throw your hands up. I love, for some reason, I just love throwing shit into a crowd.
It's such a fun activity.
I'll try to throw farther this time, you guys.
And get a wilder trajectory.
So I think there's a few more of those in there.
And there's lots of other stuff in here. Let's just get the guests out here and we'll wade through it.
You guys already know who qualified.
Please give a big warm welcome to Matt Myra, Ken Jennings, and Sam the Ma'am Levine,
a.k.a. Lil Wolverine!
Holy shit!
Wow! Wow!
That's nice. Real nice.
This is insane.
It's upside down, but we get it.
That's lovely.
Birthday cupcakes, Ken.
Birthday wishes. Ken. Birthday wishes.
Wow.
Oh.
Guys, we can't clear the rights to this song.
They don't get it.
It's true.
100% true.
That is touching.
Thank you.
Happy Bud-day?
It is.
Is that a Camille song?
Let's just say happy birthday, Ken Jennings, and get it over with. Touching, thank you. Happy Bud-day? It is. Is that a Camille song? Happy Bud-day.
Thank you very much, yes.
Let's just say happy birthday, Ken Jennings, and get it over with.
Thank you.
Would you like some hemp wick for your birthday?
He doesn't need that.
Doug, what is hemp wick?
What does it do?
It's Chris Hardwick's real last name before he changes his show business.
What is hemp wick?
What does it do?
It's Chris Hardwick's real last name before he changed his show business.
It's instead of using a... You light it with a lighter, and then you use it to light your weed so that you're not
inhaling butane.
Keep those lungs clean, fellas.
That was some of the finest underarm hemp wick throwing You're ever going to see
It was really quality
It's a shame this is not video
I'm actually drafting you first
In my slow pitch softball
Hemp wick league
That's Matt Meyer everybody
I'm wearing my
Cafe Nervosa
Seattle Washington shirt.
What a suck-up.
Yeah.
The fictional coffee shop.
And what's...
What did you bring for the prize bag, my friend?
Oh, well, I stopped at the City Target.
Not as big as a regular Target,
but I got a couple of DVDs
For the crowd
X-Men Last Stand
Hang on
Because it stars Kelsey Grammer
Seattle native
Seattle native Kelsey Grammer
Seattle native Kelsey Grammer
We sure love him here.
And I also brought The Fighter.
What are you guys having for breakfast tomorrow?
Tossed salad and scrambled eggs?
It's the Seattle way, you know.
I brought a DVD of The Fighter
because that is my hometown, Lowell, Massachusetts.
And I want you all to know what it's like
to be around crack and boxing.
And crack boxing.
Crack boxing. I'll fight some crack.
You're not fighting, I'm fighting.
Sam Levine is here,
everybody.
Oh my god. Thank you.
Thank you, Seattle.
I need
to come back here more often, clearly.
That is very kind of you.
And Sam, they're not booing, they're yelling hate.
Yes, I know.
I know.
It's just a joke.
They love him.
They love him.
Everybody loves him.
I was saying...
She's married, but she'll trade up right now.
They're saying Bruce Derns.
What'd you bring for the bag, Sam?
I brought a few things.
I brought the terrible 1990 movie Lisa,
starring a pre-Step by Step Stacey Keenan,
Cheryl Ladd, and Jeffrey Tambor.
Give it to someone you don't like.
And then I also brought, because it is Seattle, a $20 Starbucks gift card.
Exactly.
Exactly.
The crowd is divided on that.
So if the half who applauded wins it, enjoy.
If the half who didn't wins it, you know what to do.
And then I also brought something which I've never brought to
Doug Love's movies before.
Some sign 8x10s.
One from Freaks and Geeks and one
from Inglourious Bastards.
Do you
usually try to give those away
on the plane, but this time...
Yeah, usually I try to give them away
in exchange for goods and services.
Does not work out.
That's not how you got the Starbucks card?
No.
No.
No, they made me pay.
They charge you $25.
Yeah, they did.
Only because they were penalizing me
for attempting to buy it with 8x10s the first go-round.
Is that what I saw?
Did I see you running from the FedEx Kinkos? Were you printing those? No. You flew with those. Thank you. is here.
Damn right.
Thank you. It's like when the teacher leaves the room and the biggest suck-up
takes over the classroom.
Absolutely. There's no question.
If some horrible
accident should befall Doug.
God forbid. God forbid a thousand times over.
There's no question. I would just
step up and go, alright, I guess it's Sam Loves Movies
now.
This shit's
bigger than the both of us. It can't
die.
Like all the shirts have the D
crossed out, like an S
hurriedly added. You didn't bother
to get new shirts? No.
That's pretty fucking lazy. Only
if they're willing to exchange 8x10s
for them.
Do you need money?
Let me just say,
I may have made a bet in Vegas on the outcome
of tonight's show,
and I'm gonna, I really hope
you win, Matt. Oh, well, thank you.
I agree with you. Wow.
Ken, you turned
40 today. I turned 40.
Thank you.
I was actually born at 10.30 at night in Edmonds, Washington,
so I do not turn 40 for another two hours.
Fucking live those 30s up.
Fuck her.
Go.
Fuck someone.
All the things I never did, you know.
Fuck him, too.
You got, like, two hours. Do it. You can't do that when you're 40. You can't. Once you're 40, you know. Fuck him too. You got like two hours.
You can't do that when you're 40.
Once you're 40, you can't fuck that guy.
You can't, right? Am I right?
He has higher standards than that.
He's going to be like, gross, I don't want a 40-year-old in me.
I get it.
You're slightly famous, but you're not
like 40
sex famous.
Who's 40 sex famous?
Sam Levine, ladies and gentlemen.
Sam Levine.
I'm sorry, what?
Thank you.
I left my phone in the dressing room.
I called it.
You called it, yeah.
I didn't call the phone.
I said, that's Doug's phone.
I was charging it.
It needed to be supercharged.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I left it in there during that first part and then I had to
go get it but the dressing room is located
in
Neil Simon's Barefoot in the Park.
If you remember that
play and movie.
It's about four flights up so
keep doing
Keep doing whatever
it was you were doing guys. I'm winded.
We were doing no Neil Simon references and it was you were doing, guys. I'm winded. We were doing no Neil Simon references
and it was going great.
The crowd was like,
no more Neil Simon references.
The crowd's like lost at Yonkers over here.
Regular zoo story.
That's a deep cut.
Your turn to make a Neil Simon reference.
But I will be in Yonkers on June 1st.
It's just for us, guys.
Important to mention.
Let's do...
I should have just said this and then ran off and got my phone.
You guys need to pick name tags.
Yeah.
Who are you going to play for?
Can you get the house lights, please.
It really is an impressive bunch of name tags.
There's even some people with name tags in the balcony.
To which I say I'm sorry, but that's probably a little too far away.
Wait, didn't someone have pizza earlier?
Oh, I already picked one, but I want the pizza.
And it's a nice picture of me, too.
I like it.
Oh, pizza.
Wait, you didn't take his name tag, but you took his pizza?
Oh, he's going to give him money for it.
Take it.
Just take it.
Yeah, come on, man. Take it.
Take the money.
Take the 20.
Thank you.
Guys, I got us pizza.
What is this? People, that's for me, I got us pizza. What is this?
That's for me, I believe.
Why would he give you all that green lint, Doug?
Not to be greedy, but I need my oregano for my recipes.
What is pizza without some oregano, you know?
Will I do what?
There's a lady standing here yelling at me to do something.
She just threw her name tag at us.
And now she's making eyes at you.
Just look at it!
Look at it!
Who should look at it?
Will you please look at it?
Will it hurt our eyes?
Why is yours more special than mine?
You didn't work hard on that.
That's just black and white.
This is color and frame.
I broke my heart to not pick those other two people.
Oh, I don't know why.
We're trying to do a show right now.
Doug, I'll look at it.
I'll look at it for hours later.
Okay, Matt's going to give it a look.
You know what?
I'm not happy with it.
Then that's the end of the discussion.
That's it.
That's it.
If this is what you call working hard on something...
Oh, boy.
Yeah, we have some notes.
That's the first hurled onto the stage name tag.
But I liked her confidence, you know?
Keyword hurled.
It's not good in any way.
Look at that pizza.
Nice.
There's extra toppings on there.
I owe you more than 20.
I have baked goods, by the way.
What?
Like, it's not weed, but like it's blackberry cupcakes and lemon bars.
We invited you here to watch us eat.
And charge you $18.50.
It's a sexy Tom Jones kind of Doug Loves Movies lookout.
I'm going to break into that shortly.
All right, you guys.
Wait, before we get into this.
Oh, yeah.
Before we start, more stuff.
More very quick stuff.
So, Ken.
Sam.
In 1993, my father was on Jeopardy.
No way. Yes. Sam's father was on Jeopardy. No way.
Yes.
Sam's dad was on Jeopardy.
My dad was on Jeopardy in August of 93 and lost to a woman named Rachel Schwartz.
No way.
That is correct.
Now, Rachel Schwartz, after defeating my father, went on to become a five-time $100,000 champion
and then played in the Tournament of the Decades and was defeated by... Mr. Ken Jennings.
I think you see where I'm going with this.
So, by the transitive property...
By transitive...
Exactly.
Ken, it was Sam and his family
that paid you to do the dirty work.
Should I be victorious over you tonight,
it's as if I have avenged my father's
untimely, trivial
death. Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
The way I see it,
I avenged your father's
humiliating defeat when I beat Rachel.
I did you a favor.
You did, but I have to slay you now.
No, no, this doesn't
make any sense. No, I have to.
It's about honor. This makes literally have to. It's about honor.
This makes literally no sense.
It's about honor.
This is like if Luke Skywalker decided to do something.
I don't know the analogy, but it's there.
All right, fair enough.
Rachel's really good.
She's the real deal.
Oh, I know.
She was phenomenal.
Let me throw in a quick question for the audience.
Do you guys have many hours to stay with us?
Perfect.
Because this is going to take a while.
And the curfew in this venue is Wednesday.
We sit here.
The other shows perform while we're still sitting here.
I'm only human!
I'm sorry, Doug, what was the category?
That's going to happen on stage tomorrow night.
Okay, here we go.
Do we say who we're playing for?
Is that the correct order of this stuff?
Yeah, I guess so.
Who are you playing for?
I am playing for Dave,
who made a Tomorrow Never Dave's poster
with Sam's head on Terry Hatcher's sweet body
and Ken's head on Michelle Yeoh's pretty good body
and mine on the greatest James Bond of the 90s.
Pierce Brosnan.
Doug is on there as Jonathan Price's character.
Oh, he was bad.
Yeah, well, he was great at being bad.
You think?
Yeah, I thought he was a good bad guy.
Okay.
You can listen to that discussion on James Bonding.
Yes.
On the Nerdist Podcast.
Nicely played.
What was his name again?
Jonathan Price?
No, the guy on your name tag. Oh, Dave. That's Dave. Dave. Nicely played. What was his name again? Jonathan Price? No, the guy on your name tag.
Oh, Dave.
That's Dave.
Dave.
Nicely played, Dave.
You spoke to Matt directly, and it worked.
Good job, Dave.
Yeah, Dave.
Ken, who are you playing for?
Apparently, I'm playing for Kirsten.
Is that right, Kirsten?
It's a Kirsten translation joke.
it's a Kirsten translation joke Matt and Sam and Doug and I are all sitting on a very large
Japanese hotel bed with Bill Murray
but Scarlett Johansson's been replaced by Kirsten
and she brought me cupcakes for my birthday
oh wait who did I buy pizza from what is your name
Patrick thank you for the pizza
who are you playing for Sam Who did I buy pizza from? What is your name? Patrick? Thank you for the pizza.
Who are you playing for, Sam?
I'm playing for Chris, who has taken the, this appears to be maybe the Korean poster for I Am Sam,
and has put my face and his face on it.
I'm glad you decided to make me Sean Penn in this.
He also claims to be my number one fan,
and it was a very difficult decision for me.
A couple other people made tremendous name tags.
I'm sorry I could not pick all three,
but Chris has been here a very long time to get that front row seat to catch this.
So good luck, Chris.
All right.
Let's do this.
We're going to start with the person who qualified first for this particular round of the tournament,
and that would be Matt Myra.
Then we're going to go to the person who qualified second, which is Ken Jennings.
And then we're going to go to Sam because he squeaked in.
Well, or came in third, beating
you beat Graham Elwood and
Megan Nuringer. Yep.
And who did you beat, Matt?
I don't remember.
Perfect. It was literally that long.
Moved this thing along a lot quicker.
And Ken was on
with DC Pearson and Sean Cullen.
That's right.
In this very room.
There was an erotic cake, I remember, on the stage.
Do you remember this? There was an erotic
cake right there. You know,
I love sex
and cake so much
that every cake is an erotic cake.
It doesn't have to be shaped like a cock.
Or a vagina.
Did you just channel Lavelle Crawford?
You went cock first.
What?
You went cock first.
Vagina's like your backup erotic cake.
No, what I like to do what I like to do is take a chocolate
cock cake and put it into
a vanilla vagina cake
is there such a thing as vanilla cake
yes Doug
I guess so
don't they call it white cake or something
there's a yellow cake.
Yellow is not.
And then there's a vanilla cake.
That's not your thing?
Yellow cake?
It's not white.
You just kicked over your James Bond sign.
For now.
All right.
You get to pick the first category, Matt.
Great, let's do it.
Let's do it, Matthew Myra.
First to 20, right?
First to five points.
Yeah, and that'll take long enough, I'm guessing, with this group.
Such strong players.
And Matt Myra.
You're not wrong.
Kay Hannaford suggested on Twitter,
Subaru Outback.
And that's Australian movies with lesbians.
We've also got as an option,
Hannah Wakes the Bears.
Hannah Wakes the Bears. Hannah Wakes the Bears
and that's movies where a bear
attacks a human.
And at Gone AWOL
spelled A-W-A-L
21 suggested Bateman
Rises.
Bateman Rises and that's the early
films of Jason Bateman.
He's been around for a while.
I'm going to go on the merits of the name alone.
I'm going to go with Superbrew Outback.
Okay.
Nice.
This movie is from Australia
and has lesbians.
This is hilarious.
When people submit categories to me,
sometimes I'll write back,
give me some examples.
And I said, for this one, I said that,
and they wrote back a movie
that now that I'm looking at it
is from New Zealand.
So this is a movie...
Australia-ish.
Yeah, no, neither Australia nor New Zealand's happy with me right now.
But at least I'm correcting it right away.
This is a film from New Zealand that might have lesbians in it.
Three and a half stars from Leonard.
The year is 1994.
He calls this movie dark and exhilarating.
1994. He calls this movie dark and exhilarating. And he also says that in New Zealand, it had a running time of 108 minutes, but the director's cut is 109 minutes and the American cut was 99
minutes. And he lists six names. How many names can you get it in, Matt Myra? I'm going to...
I would like four, please.
I would like four names.
He says four names, Ken Jennings.
I'll go zero.
Zero names!
Strong, strong play.
What is Sam going to do with this?
You don't need to help him.
He's his own man.
He's done this before.
Down with your bar!
In case that didn't get picked up for the home viewer, listener,
a guy yelled out, do it for your father.
This is for daddy.
I cannot go negative one, so name that movie.
He can't go negative one.
So all you got to do is name it, Ken.
You'll be the first person with a point on the board
in this super tournament of championships.
Ken Jimenez Jennings, name it.
I hope it's Heavenly Creatures. It is Heavenly
Creatures.
Who's top build in that?
Oh, you know who's
top. No, you don't. I don't. That's why I couldn't do a
negative one. That's the tricky part. Melanie
Linsky is top build.
Then Kate Winslet. Linsky.
Loved her in the informant, but I never would have.
So it wasn't Once Were Warriors.
Matt, it's back to you again, but this time we're going to go to Sam.
And Matt gets to pick between I Love Movies.
That's movies that have love in the title.
Okay.
Yeah.
Or At Eastside Llama
suggested
oh I thought that was the category
Eastside Llama movies where
an animal is wandering the streets
no where a llama is in it
and Eazy-E does the soundtrack
does that exist
no
Eastside Llama suggested
Chevy Chase, and that's
movies that have a chase scene
with a Chevrolet.
Yeah.
And then a category that's gone untouched
for a long time, Scott Beowulf.
And that's the films of Scott Beow,
or it's got werewolves in it
or both
holy shit
is there a both?
yes
and it's from Australia
I'm gonna say movies with love in the title, please, Doug.
You got it.
Love is in the air.
Would you like a movie with love in the title from 1975 or 2010?
Oh, 2010.
That's his blind spot.
He's only got the Leonard Maltin book from 2000.
Okay.
You wish.
Three stars from Leonard
for this movie
from 2010.
He says it's sexy.
And he also says it's loosely based on a book.
So,
I guess that means he read the book
and judged it accordingly.
How would you know it's loosely based if you hadn't read the book?
They don't say that in the opening credits.
Loosely based on a book by...
And he lists...
12 names?
I'm still picturing like a sexually aroused Leonard Maltin.
Yeah, when he calls something sexy.
Look out.
It's not at all different from regular.
Watch out.
The gray fox is bonering up.
Do you think he rates his sexual experience?
I should have just said has is in the hen house.
Once I said fox, didn't have
to get that dirty.
Don't want anyone to think about Leonard
Maltin's boner.
I gave Leonard Maltin's boner
two and a half stars.
Ten names.
Negative two.
Leonard Maltin gets hard to it.
It's twelve names, Matt. How many can you get it in? I thought it was ten. Oh, I thought you were just bidding. No, I gets hard to it. It's 12 names, Matt.
How many can you get it in?
I thought it was 10.
Oh, I thought you were just bidding.
No, I didn't bid that.
Yeah, what were you doing?
Well, if it's 12, I'll go four again.
Negative two.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Look out.
It's on like Wrath of Khan.
What do you do with that, Ken Jennings?
Negative two.
You can't bid the same thing.
You can't.
Negative 2.1.
Whoa.
No, I think I'm going to have to call you on this, Sam.
I don't know what this is.
All right, Sam.
You've got to name the movie and the top two billed performers in the correct order.
And I have total confidence in you, but let's just make sure and actually hear your answer.
The film is Love and Other Drugs, starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway.
Correct.
Wow.
That's nice.
Wow.
That's nice.
Your dad is looking down on you now.
Unless he's still alive.
Very much alive.
He's looking across from Florida at you now.
He'll still look down on you from wherever he is.
That's true.
I'm not a tall man.
I'm not a tall man. I'm not a tall man.
All right, Sam's on the board.
Wow.
Matt, you can do it! Give me, let me choose another category for one of these assholes to get.
All right, yeah, we'll start with you, Matt, then we'll go to KJ.
And your options are...
Yep.
Wins in Scrabble, and that's movies that start with the letter Q.
Do it.
I don't want you to hear the rest of them.
You have to.
Oh.
I didn't do all this work, so you could skip it.
At Rusty Ma suggests... at rusty ma suggests it suggests and they're always glad you came
and that's movies featuring actors from cheers
oh i know see you're a frazier buff so you must know a little bit about Cheers. And then at C4
Melon
suggested
look who's walking now.
And that's movies
with people who come back from
the dead.
Well,
listen. Which one of those do you like?
I'm going with the...
You were so excited about the Q thing.
Now I'm really excited about the Cheers situation.
Okay.
Would you like a movie with an actor from Cheers from 1982 or 1997?
And wait, let me double check this.
82 or 97?
97.
Please, 97.
You got it.
Three and a half stars from Leonard.
He says this movie is about a writer.
And he also says that it's extremely funny.
All right.
And he lists...
Not down Periscope.
Okay.
I think he lists 20 names.
Holy shitballs. he lists 20 names. Holy shitballs.
Yeah, 20 names.
That's all the clues you can give me.
20 names.
And 20 names.
If Leonard makes a new app, I'm going to make him put, when he lists the cast,
I'm going to make him put a number next to each name.
So I can just look at the bottom one and say...
20 names.
About a writer.
Instead of adding him up like a chicken.
Three and a half stars.
Writer 97, three and a half.
Okay.
Here's what's going to happen, you guys.
I'm going to go ahead.
He's made a decision.
Two names. What?
Give me two of the bottom. I want
number 20 and number 19.
All right.
We go to Ken Jennings.
I think
Sam's going to be angry at this
because you think this is playing the
wrong way. Not at all. Oh, wait.
I'm going the wrong direction?
No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
Oh, what you're going to do is the wrong...
Backstage, Sam was telling me that he's very angry.
I want to be very clear about that.
If he had said 20 names and you said,
Matt, name that movie,
that's pulling a Jon Hamm.
I wasn't going to name him.
I was going to say a certain well-empowered...
Somebody's got Jon Hamm beef. him. I was going to say a certain well-endowed. Somebody's got John Ham Beef.
Yeah.
I love ham beef.
Damn right I do.
I had a ham beef sandwich today at the Wharf.
Not enough to have the million dollar schlong.
He's also got to play the Leonard Mullen game dirty.
I was going to say a certain well-endowed AMC star.
I was not going to name the offender in question.
But yeah, Sam's got a beef.
No. I'm going to make Matt do this in question. But yeah, Sam's got a beef. No, Matt.
I'm going to make Matt do this because I'm pretty skeptical.
As am I.
You're skeptical that he can't do it in two?
Yeah, the 19th billed person from this movie?
Come on.
Ted Danson.
I'm pulling for you, Matt.
You can do it!
Oh, you're assuming?
Okay.
Yeah, please, Doug.
All right.
Your two names. Yeah. Oh, Doug. All right. Your two names.
Yeah.
Oh, dear.
You're so done.
Your two names are Gene Sachs and Hazel Goodman.
The Hazel Goodman?
It sounds like a cocoon movie.
Wow.
Wow.
Is it
Permanent Midnight? No.
Go. Permanent Midnight
is your guess? That was my guess.
Alright. Point
to Ken Jennings.
Jon Hamm style.
Let me hear these
names. That's how we roll here
at Sterling Cooper. Please run up from
18 up just so we can. I want
to hear that. Alright.
That'll be a good way to make the show a little longer.
What was it Sam was trying to guess?
I said, is it Wag the Dog? No.
Alright. Who was...
As good as it gets? No, right?
Harrelson's in that. Oh, Woody Harrelson.
Oh, good. No, I'll just tell
you who it was that was in it.
It was Kirstie Alley, and she was third build.
And top two builder, Woody Allen and Richard Benjamin.
And it's called Deconstructing Harry.
Yeah, yeah, Deconstructing Harry.
Wow.
All right.
So Sam gets to pick the next category.
And then we'll go to Ken.
Ken has two.
Sam has one.
How's everybody doing?
Does anybody need a slice of pizza?
Oh.
Matt wants to share his pizza.
Your hand went up, sir.
Come right over here.
Yeah, come right up.
Just go to the front of the stage with your pizza, Matt,
and open it up. Don't step on my name tag, Matt.
Yeah, don't step on I am Sam Levine.
They even drew in an extra M on Sam.
Oh, I know.
It's adorable.
Hey!
There's a guy in the balcony
he's just like I have not been noticed
so I'm just gonna yell out hey
or maybe
you weren't even yelling at me maybe somebody
stepped on your foot
trying to get to the bar
Sam
would you like
at
acne of the Gods
suggested Tight Club,
Tight Club,
and that's movies where guys have sex with each other
and then keep it a secret.
Or Turn Over a New Leaf,
and that's movies where Joaquin Phoenix was billed as Leaf Phoenix.
Yeah, that's some old-ass shit.
Or at Mad Flax 2 suggested Train Fight Win.
And that's movies where there is action on top of a train.
Oh.
Which one of those would you like to play, Sam?
I will take the men having sex and it being a secret.
Okay.
The year is 2005.
Three stars from Leonard.
He says this movie is bold.
He also says about this
movie that
it won some Oscars.
And he names
ten names.
How many names can you get in
Sam Levine?
I love the vibe
in this venue
because everybody up front is like on the edge
of their seat and everybody in the back
is at a bar ordering drinks.
Negative five.
Oh, what the fuck is happening?
What is happening?
I call.
My microphone went limp.
I know who I'm playing against.
Holy shit.
Wow.
Negative five.
Have you ever heard a negative five?
Is this like a first?
Like, has this ever happened?
I think Sam has gone negative four before.
And Sean Cullen went negative four
on Star Trek 4.
That was pretty impressive.
But negative five might be a first.
Not
as a bid, as a
successful, like he has to do it.
People have bid more than
five, and those people are named TJ Miller.
Who thought it was funny to go
way, way, way, way deep?
I could name it in
11 names!
I'm annoyed, because I think
I could also do five.
I think I can do five,
but I don't think I can beat it.
Is it to me? It's to me, right? I don't think I can do negative five. I think I can do five, but I don't think I can beat it. Is it to me? It's to me, right?
Yeah. I don't think
I can do negative six. That's crazy.
I mean, I think about this movie a lot.
A lot.
But, you know, you know how it is.
You know how it is.
But, I don't think I can
do six.
Hang on. Think about it, Ken.
Alright, Matt. Can you do six?
Because, let's think about
where people were in their careers when this was made.
See, nope. Matt, Matt.
Don't.
Do not unleash the beast, Matt
Martin. Ken, what
are you going to do? I'm going to make
Sam do this because I can't do six. Alright.
Everybody, be super, super
quiet for this. This is the most exciting moment in the history of this show.
There's a lot of places I could go wrong here.
Yeah, okay.
The excuses means he's going to nail it.
Go for it, Sam.
All right.
The film is Brokeback Mountain,
starring Heath Ledger,
Jake Gyllenhaal,
Randy Quaid, Michelle Williams, and Anne Hathaway.
That's correct. Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Randy Quaid!
Randy Quaid above, oh my God. Randy Quaid! Randy Quaid above... Oh my god.
Randy Quaid, third build.
Wow.
I will not high-five you, Sam, because Alex Trebek never high-five Ken.
That's true.
Not once?
He, not on stage.
Not in public.
When the camera's off, he doesn't know how to quit me.
He'd high-five you over a lady,
like a London Bridge situation.
All right, Sam, you've got two now, right?
Hey, Sam.
We'll do, Matt.
I have to double check with Sam about
the score. Randy Quaid!
You guys were...
I would not have gone Randy Quaid third. That's crazy
stuff. Michelle Williams needs a new agent.
If she doesn't already have one.
God damn it.
Who's number six? That's where needs a new agent. Yeah. If she doesn't already have one. God damn it. Who, yeah,
who's number six?
That's where
it would have been
serious trouble.
I mean,
I don't think
either of you
could have done
five even,
but six is ridiculous
because Sam can't even do it.
Oh, I have no idea.
Yeah,
it's Graham Beckle.
Oh, yeah.
He's the one
that was like,
hey, quit fucking over there.
Graham Beckle. Graham Beckle played one that was like, hey, quit fucking over there. Graham Beckle.
Graham Beckle played one of the sheep, I think.
Graham Beckle was the coat hanger.
This is a national park.
How long you boys been in Wyoming?
Ken, that was the right move though
to make him try and do that
I can't believe he did that
that's the angriest I have ever been
really?
yeah no in 39 years
nobody's burned you on Jeopardy with something
I guess you can't really burn each other
as much as you could just buzz in quicker
yeah Jeopardy's less confrontational
a little less I think you. Yeah, Jeopardy's less confrontational.
A little less.
I think you throw him on Jeopardy,
it's more confrontation.
Guaranteed.
Do you have to hang out with the people you just beat after winning on Jeopardy?
Do you go to a room where there's snacks and stuff
and hang out with them?
They get them out of there pretty quick,
because they're just shell-shocked.
They're so unhappy.
You get back and then it's like,
okay, we can call you a cab or you can leave.
They don't even let you sit in the audience.
As soon as you lose,
you have lost your Jeopardy privileges.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, losing is not the goal on that show.
Are there ever like...
At all.
Do the contestants, like, who are waiting to go on, like...
Like, because they have to...
They shoot, like...
Oh, I guess, never mind.
Forget it.
There's always two new people every episode, right?
Yes.
All right, forget it.
Thanks, Matt.
Thanks for your help, man.
But there's, like, a dozen people backstage,
and you'll have to hang out with these people
that you're eventually going to have to go, you know, humiliate.
So it's like an audition?
It's like an audition, yeah.
It's like an actor's audition.
I'd rather sit in that weird room on Chopped.
It's like an audition if everyone was really sort of weird looking, you know?
So the auditions I go on.
True.
Matt, you get to pick a category
fuck this
I gotta say I'll be very
entertained if you get completely shut out
you and me both
wait you'll be entertained
by that? yeah worth the flight
we can have like an anti championshipchampionship thing for you.
Great.
I look forward to it.
But you get to pick a category.
Well, I'm going to pick a really nice category.
I hope so.
And then we're going to go to Ken.
Yeah.
Starts with you, then it goes to Ken.
Acebrouse25 suggested,
Billy the Kid, that's movies with Billy Crystal, a goat, or both?
Or both.
Or both.
At David K. Ashton suggested,
Full Metal Jacket.
That's a movie where a robot has sex.
Or robots.
Might not be just one robot.
And then there's non-stop.
Non-stop.
And that's a film set in India
because it's spelled N-A-A-N.
It's a spelling joke.
International spelling joke.
I'm going to go with some robot sex, Doug.
Okay.
Okay.
Probably going to regret this some robot sex, Doug. Okay. Probably going to regret this choice.
Oh, fuck.
The year is 1973.
Uh-huh.
Leonard, everyone here is too young for this.
Leonard gives the movie three stars.
Yeah.
He says that this movie is engaging.
And he also says that this movie is engaging. And he also says that it was followed by a sequel.
And he lists six names.
Six names.
Six names.
Robot sex.
A sequel.
Uh-huh.
Six names.
73.
Three stars from Leonard.
And he lists seven names.
How many can you get in, Matt?
I'm going to say five.
I can do without the two top stars.
If there's a sequel involved here, I can probably handle that.
All right.
Way to talk us through it.
The process of Matt and Larry.
It's more for me than anybody else.
You're okay, Matt?
You're still a valid human being.
I think you flew here and you're enjoying yourself.
You like Seattle.
It's fun.
You can't really cross your legs, but you'll try.
It's time for Ken's monologue.
What do you think, Ken?
I was born on a farm outside.
You were born on this farm right outside?
Because I was just smoking in it before the show.
It's more like an alley than a farm.
It's an alley farm.
He said five out of the seven.
He said five out of seven.
I have no idea what this is, so I don't really want to, you know.
You don't want to even wade into the bidding.
Get myself in a blind alley here.
All right.
So I think I might sort of John Hamm it up.
It's not going to hurt you or Sam to throw a point to Matt.
Yeah, I mean, it just.
It's true.
He gets it right, and, you know, he feels better about himself.
So you're telling me to name it?
I think you should name it.
Great, thank you.
I was going negative two, kids.
Good move, Ken.
Good move.
That's another thing they don't allow in Jeopardy,
what ifs.
All right, your five names.
As long as we keep the point away.
I feel your pain, Sam.
I don't know what to say.
Your five names are...
Steve Flanken.
Of the acting Flankens, yeah.
These are like made-up Fletch names.
Victoria Shaw.
Victoria Shaw, yeah, sure.
Alan Oppenheimer.
Of the fun.
Norman Bartold.
All right, now this next name better be a person I know.
It's definitely a person you know if you know shit that's old.
Your last name is James Brolin.
The man who puts his dick in Barbra Streisand.
Apologies to Sam Levine for giving that extra clue.
I want you to give Matt every extra clue available right now.
Is it Barbarella?
I don't know.
Does anyone have sex with a robot in that movie?
Probably.
What's a movie?
Go ahead, Sam. Barbarella? I don't know. Does anyone have sex with a robot in that movie? Probably. What's a movie?
Go ahead, Sam.
Matt loses, but Ken gets the point.
But Sam, go ahead and show off and name the movie and the top two people in the correct order.
You know what, Doug? It doesn't matter. Just say it.
What is the movie?
No, I want Sam to do it.
No, I would rather you...
Sam's gonna do it.
I would rather...
Wouldn't it be great if I did it and I'm wrong?
Wouldn't that be awesome? Yeah, you might be wrong. You might be wrong. I don't want you to's going to do it. I would rather... Wouldn't it be great if I did it and I'm wrong? Wouldn't that be awesome?
Yeah, you might be wrong.
You might be wrong.
I don't want you to have to go through that.
I want it at this point.
I didn't have to say I was going to go negative, too.
I deserve it if I'm wrong.
All right.
Every time I get sad...
Just do it, Sam.
Just tell him, Sam.
Sleepers starring Woody Allen and Diane Keaton.
Incorrect.
Incorrect?
Yeah.
What is it?
It's Westworld starring...
There you go!...Richard Benjamin and Yul Brynner.
Aren't you fucking thrilled now?
Wait, hang on.
They made a sequel to Westworld?
It's proof that he's human.
He's only human.
I forgot that anyone sleeps with a robot in Westworld.
And he bleeds when he falls down.
Wait, there's a Westworld sequel?
Hang on.
Hang on.
There's a Westworld sequel? There's Westworld 2? Yeahworld or my theme? Hang on. There's a Westworld sequel?
There's Westworld 2?
Yes, Future World.
Yeah, it's called Future World, bitch.
Oh, yeah, Future World.
Future World, yeah.
Good times.
Starring Peter Fonda.
That's what threw me was the sequel.
I didn't think there was a sequel to Sleeper.
They're remaking Westworld, supposedly, and I hope they do it right, because I like that movie.
They've been trying to remake that for 10 years.
On the one hand, I'm happy I didn't say negative to him and blow it.
On the other hand, I'm upset, because had I done that, Matt would have had a point and been on the board.
Oh, poor Matt, still not on the board.
But that doesn't, what good does that do your dad?
Your dad doesn't hate Matt.
No, but he will now.
Ken has three, Sam has two, Matt has, we've discussed this already.
No reason to rub it in. I think the
beauty of this is that I don't really care. Not caring is important, but it's going to make you
lose. Not caring is good, but you know what's a little better? It's winning. Like winning things.
That's good, right? That's good too. Ken, where can we see your motivational speeches in a ballroom in a hotel?
Let me walk you guys through something.
How can you beat the Daily Doubles in your lives?
Whoa.
Who is the Alex Trebek asking you questions in the way, in your path to the tournament of champions
in your life.
Buy my book.
Wait, so all you have to do is say in your life
after something?
That's exactly it.
That's how it works.
Who's the guy that doesn't know anything about movies
in your life?
Yeah.
You could totally help somebody out.
Who's the guy that can't tell you anything made before 1983?
In your life.
I bet you there's lots of ladies here tonight
who sometimes are frustrated that other ladies
and even dudes aren't as into movie trivia as you are.
Let's hear from you.
Yeah, seven women. Every other woman here is dragged by her boyfriend
who listens to the show for a few seconds because he shoves one of his earbuds in your ear and
forces you to listen to it. That laughter is recognition laughter. Hey, Doug, how do I get a vodka soda brought up to me?
Do I just say that out loud?
Just say it, man.
Just order it into the microphone.
Hello, I would like a vodka soda.
I recommend that you do not bring it to him.
I would like an Amstel Light, please.
Nope.
You guys are bad enough as it is.
I do not need you boozing it up.
No, Bud Light for Sam.
Amstel Light.
Give him a fucking Bud Light.
I will not drink it.
Amstel Light, Classy Light.
And what did you want, Matt? Vodka soda, make it a double.
I got a lot of catching up to do.
Oh.
Oh, that's where that hat
belongs, on the fucking floor. Watch it.
It's a Red Sox hat, ladies and gentlemen.
He threw his hat down.
Thank God there wasn't a bed up there,
because if he threw it on the bed, that would be bad luck.
Can I get a water, by the way?
Thanks for asking, Doug.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you.
Mr. Ken Jennings needs a water.
Do you get beverages, like, inside your podium on Jeopardy?
Some guy brings you water. He's the union prop guy, but there's no podium on Jeopardy? Some guy brings you water.
He's the union prop guy, but there's no props on Jeopardy.
So his only job is to bring you water, and then you take a sip, and then he walks away with your water.
During the break.
During the break, yeah.
Oh, shit.
Doug, we have that on At Midnight, which you were just on.
We have someone that just brings you water.
It's pretty great.
Yeah.
No, it's true.
And by the way, thank you for that job again, Matt.
Oh, anytime.
Things are a little slow for me between Doug Loves Movies gigs.
Yeah, look forward to seeing Sam at midnight.
I hate that.
Yeah.
Oh, it'll happen then.
Wow, that's a bold...
Nothing is in the works for that to happen.
Yeah, it's not really happening, you guys.
Literally nothing.
But your cheers made it happen. Nope for that to happen. Yeah, it's not really happening, you guys. Literally nothing. But your cheers made it happen.
Nope, that is correct.
Your cheers not only made it happen, you gave an angel eights.
What?
That's not how it works.
There's still a hashtag rule.
That's not how it works.
All right, where are we at?
What just happened?
Oh, I'd also like another Tito's and Soda if I could.
Okay, so Ken just got...
He's getting water.
Points.
You're getting a...
So Sam now is...
I believe it starts with me and goes to Ken.
...chooses the category.
All right, let's prioritize.
What drinks are we getting?
Tito's and Soda for you.
Yeah.
Amstel Light for Sam.
Uh-huh.
Double Vodka Soda for Matt.
Yeah.
Water for Birthday Boy.
Straight edge. So now Matt has a point,
everybody. Yeah!
Points!
Sam was okay with it.
Sam struck it off. Sam was totally okay with it.
I'm not okay with it.
I was joking.
I was joking.
How many pity points would you take?
I would take five pity points.
Holy cow.
Weren't you going to spot Bronwyn's three points?
Let's spot Badmire of four points.
What's your DLM handicap?
Oh, I'm a negative four player.
Well, I'm just never used to playing with aggressive weirdos.
Why did you have to say weirdos?
Because it's both of you.
He usually plays with passive weirdos.
Yeah.
It's always weirdos.
Because we're all special.
For what it's worth, Ken is an absolute gentleman.
We were talking upstairs.
He's just the nicest guy.
It's true. It really is true.
You know, for what it's worth,
it's not worth anything, really.
You guys, I want you to compete
with each other, not compliment each other
on your backstage conversations.
Which I assure
you was boring.
Yeah, I like it.
Insult each other. Let's go.
Alright, so what were you saying, Matt?
What's going on?
I asked Matt, Sam.
And Ken is leaving.
Ken's left.
He's got to water.
I finally got my prize that I forgot.
Oh, you got a prize. He's got Ken Jennings' book, everybody.
Ken Jennings' Trivial.
I feel like if I bring it out in the
middle of the show, it's a much better
spotlight for my work. Let's talk about it.
Cover price on this thing,
$22.50. You guys are getting a deal
that is $2.50 more
than his gift card.
But I also threw in two 8x10s
which are priceless.
Negative priceless.
I actually, I get these free, so
really it's not, no. It's Sam.
Sam loves you more.
Sam loves you $20 more than I love you, I think.
I see drinks.
Oh, here they come. Oh, thank you.
Thank you, sir. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh.
Okay. Are you sure that's not yours?
That's mine.
Give me that drink.
Thanks, dude.
Now you have two.
I have two.
Is everybody in the audience enjoying some cocktails?
I think the bar is still open.
All right, Doug, cut the shit.
Let's go.
All right, what?
Wow. Matt, what are we doing? I just Let's go. All right, what? Wow.
Matt, what are we doing?
I just got a drink, and now I'm ready to play.
Yeah, I get it.
Oh, Sam chooses the category.
But it's been 20 minutes since the last point.
Sam chooses the category.
I told you, but you refused to hear me.
You did tell me after I said, Matt, where are we?
And then you start fucking talking.
Well, here's what's happening.
Here's what's happening.
I literally can't remember a time when we were not
ordering drinks
and talking about them. It's the first thing
I remember in my life.
It's been a while.
I see faces of the audience going,
is this Doug Loves Ordering Drinks?
Matt, what were you saying?
I was saying that it is now Sam's turn to choose a category.
Oh, that's why he was jumping in there.
Because he's dying to choose a category.
And then we will go to Ken.
Because Ken was the last challenger.
At Jake Skywalker 33 suggested,
Argo, fuck yourself.
Fargo, fuck yourself.
And that's movies based on TV shows.
Yeah.
And then the YOLO virus is movies where an actor who plays James Bond died.
So he's not playing James Bond.
He's playing someone else and then dies.
Uh-huh, I'm with it.
Or at 253 Coleman suggested Penny Dreadful.
Penny Dreadful is Penny Marshall movies that Leonard gave two stars or less.
Which one of those would you like to play, Sam?
Let us go
Yolo Virus.
Alright. This is a movie
where someone who played James Bond
dies. Leonard gives it
four stars.
Yeah, that's...
How often do you think Leonard gives out
four stars, Sam? Maybe four times a year.
Really? He's very stingy. Very sting Sam? Maybe four times a year. Really?
He's very stingy with that. Very stingy on that.
Once a quarter.
That's the year, Doug.
This particular year was 1987.
He calls this movie High Energy.
And he also says this movie has a rich music score.
And he names ten people.
How many can you get again, Sam and the ma'am?
Negative two.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Ken, you are challenging.
Negative two, Ken.
So I think I have the movie, but...
Oh, can you go deeper than negative two?
I don't know if I can go deeper. Hold on.
All right, think about it for a sec.
I'll take a sip of my freshly delivered
Tito's and sodas.
It won the quarterly award for stars.
In fiscal year 1987.
I...
Fiscal.
Fiscal.
We're going fiscal.
Somebody yelled out fiscal or calendar.
I don't know who's third build.
Oh, I have a guess.
Wait.
Oh, he's got a guess.
Ken's got a guess.
Maybe I'll do this.
Maybe I'll go negative three.
What the hell?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Maybe I'll go negative three.
What the hell?
Yeah!
Also, why not give Matt a point?
Exactly.
Ken, please name the movie incorrectly.
All right, so Ken, you need to name the movie and the top three billed people.
I think I can do that for you.
I think I can name it incorrectly.
I was going to go
Untouchables, Costner, Connery, De Niro.
Costner, Connery, De Niro?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Costner, Connery, what?
Sorry, Costner, Connery, De Niro.
No, because the other Untouchables slip in there.
It goes Charles Martin Smith,
Andy Garcia, then De Niro.
So Matt Myra gets a point.
Charles Martin Smith.
He gets shot up in the elevator.
Touchable.
Spoiler, spoiler.
Spoiler alert from 1987.
Old-timey spoiler alert.
So you were just, you were going Costner-Connery and you were good.
I was going to go Costner-Connery, but I do not begrudge you that because you knew the movie and you made an honest guess. I got to do it. I got to do it.
I will support that all the way.
Yeah.
See, Sam and I are really mutual fans.
Truly.
High-level Doug Love movies play.
We're going to start with Sam and then go to Matt.
Finally.
Do I ever get to pick a category?
Why have I never picked a category? Because you're always
challenging. Oh, yeah.
That's fair enough.
That's where you get messed up is challenging all the
time. Oh, and it also leads to you being
in the lead with three points.
Sam has two. Matt
has one.
Yeah. Thank
you. Thank you, Seattle. I appreciate it. Sam gets to pick. Let. Thank you.
Thank you, Seattle.
I appreciate it.
Sam gets to pick.
Let's do it.
At Sherlock underscore Holmes suggested Harvey Cartel.
And that's movies where
Harvey Cartel does drugs.
At James Deakins,
D-E-K-E-N-E-N-S,
suggested,
let's pencil it in,
and that's movies where someone is stabbed
with a writing implement.
And at Drew Robbs,
R-O-B-Z,
suggested Nikki Sixx,
and Nikki Sixx is Nicolas Cage movies
from 86, 96 96 or 06.
Just let me sidebar for a second.
When people submit categories to me,
I have to think,
is that going to make the audience cheer or laugh
or is it interesting?
I have to think that.
So when you're submitting stuff to me, don't feel bad if I don't use it because it's very high criteria. Keyword high.
I'm usually high when I'm reading it. So I try to pick the ones that people are going to like.
Which one did you like, Sam? Well, I hate to upset the crowd, but I'm going to go movies where someone is stabbed with a writing implement.
Stabbed with a writing implement.
This particular one is from 2008.
Leonard Maltin says about this movie that there's an actor in it that it appears unbilled.
He also says about this movie that it's Wow.
Did it get any stars?
Oh, I'm sorry. Two stars.
Okay. Yeah, just two stars.
And
just all the words give away
what this movie is.
Tell us an article. Is like the in there?
Yeah, there's a the in there.
He says that, oh, this movie
is palpably real
palpably real and he lists a whopping
it's so hard to count these up sometimes counts actors uh
15 names. Negative one.
Negative one?
15 names, he says, Sam says negative one.
You just want negative one?
Yeah.
Shit.
I could be wrong.
Have we all forgotten Westworld?
That's not a good sign.
Who's it going to?
It's going to, who challenged last?
It's going to Matt right now. I challenged.
Matt challenged. Okay. That's how you got the point? going to Matt right now. I challenged. Matt challenged? Okay.
That's how you got the point? No, I didn't. I challenged and, oh no, yeah, you challenged me. You're right.
It's going to Matt. Yeah, untouchables. So Matt,
uh,
what are you going to do? 2008,
year of our Lord, uh,
I'm going to go negative two.
Whoa!
Whoa!
That was somewhat unexpected.
But Sam is just fuming.
Sam is so angry right now.
Doing everything I can do, Ken.
Do you want to come kick my happy birthday balloon?
Nah, I'm all right.
I'm going gonna have to call
Matt on this, because I don't think
you know what... This is no offense.
No, understood. I understand. I've seen the way I played
the previous round.
Delights you, doesn't it?
I was laughing laughing because I empathize with Sam right now.
Sure.
How do you think you know this, Matt?
You're a fan of movies that are probably real.
Yeah, and he only gave it two stars.
And every word was going to give it away.
So I'm going to guess.
All right, you've got to do negative two. So I'm going to guess. All right.
You've got to do negative two.
So the name of the movie and the two people.
It's from 2008.
Is it The Dark Knight?
You have to say everything before I'll confirm.
You're saying, oh, come on.
You have to say everything before I'll confirm.
They already know I'm wrong.
Who were the top billed people?
That would be Christian Bale, Heath Ledger.
You are correct.
Yeah.
Thank you. Nicely done, Matt Myra.
Thank you.
Very nicely done. Very good.
I did not think he was going to pull that out.
Neither did I.
I knew Bale for certain, but after that
it's a grab bag. But I also thought
he wouldn't throw his point to Ken, because
that gives Ken four.
I know. It doesn't help him at all.
I know.
Yeah.
I'm very excited about this tournament.
Guys, I took my hat off and got booze.
That's only a two-star movie.
Yeah.
Like, that's...
Yeah, Leonard only gave it two.
This has come up on the show before that Doug and I staunchly opposed Leonard's two stars to Dark Knight.
Well, the key is, by the way, Leonard's right.
The key is...
Sorry.
I'm sorry. What?
No, the key in that is
that every word would give it away. Okay.
So most of the words are probably bad. Did you say Leonard's right
in the two stars? No, he's just right
most of the time in life.
Okay, but on this specific issue,
you think that Dark Knight
is a two out of four star movie?
Yeah.
Wow. That is a bold
stance to take here in Seattle.
Yeah, as it's known for its love
of Batman. It's known for its love of Batman.
Bat City, we call it.
People here are like... The Gotham of the Northwest.
They love the
Seahawks and Batman.
Are you booing the Seahawks?
They love the dank.
Dank night.
Seahawks! Seahawks! Seahawks!
I think that was a sports thing.
That's the 12th man.
I would not.
Leonard lists 12 stars.
Remember Superman?
What?
Matt has two, Sam has two, and Ken has three.
Very exciting.
Sam gets to go next to pick a category,
and then we go to Ken,
and Sam gets to choose between
at Johnny Marks,
suggestion on Twitter of Foster the People.
Foster the People,
that's movies where Ben Foster kills people.
At Aaron underscore Alexis suggested Gerard Depardieu don't.
And that's Gerard Depardieu movies that Leonard gave two stars or less.
All of the movies.
For all of my French guests on the show.
And at comedy film guy suggested duck soup, duck soup, and that's movies that have a food
fight. Because you'd want a duck soup. Who needs that on your face or clothes?
Walk around the rest of the day going, hey, how'd the cum shot go?
You walk around the rest of the day going, hey, how'd the cum shot go?
Pretty well, Doug.
It's all over my face.
What do you think, Sam?
Which one of those would you like to play?
Let's do Foster the People.
Okay.
This movie is from 2011.
Two stars from Leonard Maltin. He calls this movie, he says that it has brutal violence.
And he says also about this movie
that Ben Foster is good.
Oh, wow.
That's a horse of a different color.
He's good in this movie.
He names eight names.
How many names can you get it in, Sam?
Think for a minute, Doug.
All right, take your time.
This is the summer of Sam.
Is it summer yet?
Nope.
It's going to be.
June 21st, Douglas.
All right.
The late spring of Sam.
Here in Bat City.
Bat City. Bat City.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Seattle.
Seattle.
That's what you sound like.
Doug, I didn't know...
For a second I thought Charlie Day
from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Woo!
Thanks for making Pacific Rim unwatchable.
I was talking about Doug.
He kept poking me during the screening.
It was awful.
What do you think, Sam?
How many names did you say? I said 10, I think. Eight? Is it eight? Nine. Doug, are you bidding?
Doug, are you bidding? Let's go with eight names. I'm going to say eight names. Oh, he's taking them all, you guys. Oh, you can't do that.
It's all right, guys.
Go to Ken.
Sam takes all eight.
Don't hate. Don't hate.
Is this like a teenage softball game is going on?
Are you guys watching T-Ball?
Go, Ken!
You can do it, Ken!
Come on, Ken!
Sounds like an Orange County karate tournament.
I believe he just said put someone in a body bag.
That was All Valley.
All Valley.
Go, Ken!
Guys, for the record, I think The Dark Knight
is the best of those three movies.
The rest are like
one and a half star movies.
I give Heath Ledger a lot of the
credit for that. Oh shit, yeah. He's great.
He's the best villain
that's ever been on screen, I think.
I'm gonna make Sam earn this, I think.
Let's see if he knows what this movie is.
Because all he has to do is name it from
the full cast. If this is a movie he's
vaguely from January.
Thank you.
I appreciate that, Ken. This is not a daily
double. That is unheard
of to give one of the best players
all the names. So wouldn't it be awful
if I still blow it? Would it kill you if you
said seven names? I'm sorry, he's already
made a decision.
Sam's got a good point. The decision's
been made.
All right, Sam. All right.
I mean, I'm...
I can't lie to you. I'm excited
about the super duper Tournament of Championships
that'll happen someday where the winner tonight
will get to go up against Jon Hamm and a third person.
And so to get Sam back in there would be very exciting.
And you get all eight names.
Here we go.
And then you're just going to tell us the name of this movie.
The fucking crock of shit.
If I don't, I think I have to go home and kill myself tonight.
No.
Come on.
No.
Yeah.
Is that what your dad would want, Sam?
It is.
He would disown me at this point.
This is not Pete Holmes not recognizing the entire cast of The Devil Wears Prada.
Alright.
It will be totally acceptable if you don't know this,
but also I think you're going to know it.
Alright, well, we'll see. The names are Krista Campbell,
James Logan,
Minnie Arden,
that sounds like, that's probably like a
little person.
Jeff Chase, probably a stuntman, they gave a few lines.
Tony Goldwyn, Donald Sutherland, Ben Foster, and Jason Statham.
Oh, the mechanic.
That's correct.
Sam and Ken have tied it up with three apiece, and Matt Meyer has two.
This is very exciting.
Very close.
I literally had no idea until Donald Sutherland.
That was the earliest I had an inkling.
Donald Sutherland was the turning point.
No one in this room knows that Donald Sutherland was in The Mechanic.
He's their contact.
He's Statham's contact.
Yeah, he is.
I would never give you fucking
eight names. Is he reprising his role
from JFK?
Mr. X? Interesting strategy, Ken.
I think he earned that.
He didn't know it until the very end. That's true.
It's a two-star action movie. That could be
nothing. That could be some piece of shit.
Yeah.
Say whatever you want to make yourself feel better.
He's done a handful of movies
I've never seen
this is fucking bullshit Doug
I agree
Matt you get to pick a category now though
oh I've never done that before
Matt would you like
doesn't matter Doug does it
Sam's just gonna get
eight names.
You're one off the lead, Matt.
I'm sorry, Matt.
Is it frustrating when another player does something you don't want them to do on stage?
I wouldn't know anything about that.
I'm going to cross my legs.
That hurts.
There we go.
I got to throw my vote to Matt that, like, every player should do their best to make their opportunities to win better.
And I think Ken gave that one away.
But you announced the strategy that you thought.
I've gone for it.
You thought that Sam Levine, who knows every fucking movie in the Leonard Maltin thing would not recognize a movie after all of the names.
It was a gamble that you took.
Let me just, quick round of applause.
Who's actually seen The Mechanic, that version?
Right.
So now you're explaining to the audience how fucking awesome you are at this.
Not at all.
Not at all.
And how you got it, even though you've never seen it and no one else
ever has. Because that was
a fucking ridiculous thing
to let you have all the names. Here we go.
Sam.
I've never seen Doug so angry.
Yes, Doug, please go.
I'm just saying,
I don't understand the strategy there, but
it was strategy that he
used and... Strategy felt a lot like bullshit to me, Doug, go. I don't understand the strategy there, but it was strategy that he used.
Strategy felt a lot like bullshit to me, Doug.
Go.
Wait.
Now, Matt, why would you think...
I mean, he did it because he thought it would work.
It didn't work, though.
That's why it was bullshit.
Look what a genius I look like.
He does not know Sam.
He's a great player at this game.
He does not know every movie in the Leonard Maldon book.
Completely true. I mean,
there's fucking 200,000 movies in there.
I disagree.
Tune into Sam Hates Myself.
Sam is a player
who thinks that Sleeper has a sequel.
There it is!
Sleeper 2. Sleeper 2.
Revenge of the
Orgasmatron.... Orgasmatron.
The Orgasmatron.
There it is.
All right, guys.
I'm going to pick a category.
I appreciate the gentle ribbing, Ken.
Good sportsmanship.
Matt, would you like at cougar...
At cougar bait seven.
Yep.
Whatever that means.
It means that he's a real cool dude that's probably pretty ripped and is going to fuck some cougars.
At age 7.
After six other guys do.
Because he couldn't get Cougar Bait 1.
He's got to get that vag loosened up.
He's got a huge dick.
If anyone is manning the bar, I would love another one of these.
Thank you very much.
Sam needs more cans of Heineken.
I'll take another of the thing that I had.
And Doug, how are you doing?
I'm good.
All right.
Pick a category, Matt.
Yep.
At Cougar Bait 7 suggested staycation,
and that's movies where there is a hostage held in their own home.
And that's movies where there is a hostage held in their own home.
Or there's the big C.
And the big C is movies that begin with the letter C.
And at BJ underscore Schwartz suggested...
Sam's running around.
Oh, now he's got to tip the guy.
Tip him for all of us.
Give him a 20.
BJ underscore Schwartz suggested a sterling, a sterling, a sterling example.
And the reason I was stuttering there is because I don't know why people are yelling shit out.
Stop it.
If you thought Doug was angry at me, yell shit out at his shows.
Well, they didn't yell out any answers or anything, so it's not that bad. Yelling anything.
But it's still interesting.
They keep yelling while I'm trying to talk.
What's that?
Repeat out loud what you just said the person who said something
very loudly repeat what you just said
it's why are you not repeating what you said they push their mom person next to
that person they try them by the elbow and make them say out loud what they
just said sell Sell them out.
She said, Doug loves movies?
And then when I asked to repeat it, got shy about it?
Just fucking shut up.
Doug loves movies.
What did you say?
Can't say it again. Now that you've asked me to yell out when I'm not supposed to. Doug, you need another drink. Oh, that was like one of my finished
ones. That was just like the ice water. All right.
I would love to pick a category.
My favorite guests are the ones that keep it moving along when that's what I was trying to do.
I think Matt should pick a category.
Wait a second
Was I in the middle of trying to say all the categories?
At BJ underscore Schwartz suggested a sterling example
And that's sports movies that have racism in them
So you mean sports movies?
A.K.A. sports movies.
I'm going to go ahead and take a sterling example, Doug.
A sterling example.
Doug loves movies.
What did you just say?
And then silence.
I can't possibly repeat that.
Doug, I love picking categories, which is why I've picked sterling example.
I love picking categories, which is why I've picked Sterling example.
This movie is from, it's so recent, 2013, that the Leonard Maltin app, which has kind of come to a close.
No stars.
But still exists. Yeah.
He gives a long review and no stars because it's from 2013.
because it's from 2013 and he says about this movie
that
it's
he says one of the
thank you
he says one of the performances
is said to be an accurate impression
okay
yeah
and he also says
Leonard likes
says I've become gun shy about trusting any film
that's telling a true story okay so this is a true story but yeah but leonard's a little
a little wary of it here's the beauty of this movie i'm gonna go zero stars zero zero people
zero names zero people who started let me tell you how many people he listed. Sure.
Because that's how it works.
17 people. Eight names.
Eight names.
And you're going zero already?
Yeah.
Okay.
He says zero names.
Who challenged last?
I forgot.
After all that yelling at that lady.
Or weird dude.
Former listener.
Who was supposed to go next?
I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
Who challenged last?
I challenged Sam.
You remember?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It was one of your favorite moments from the history of the show.
I did like that.
All right, so that means you're next, Ken.
What's that guy's name?
Wait, what's that guy's name?
I'll go negative one.
Oh.
Negative one, Sam.
I think he might be top billed, too, but then I have to come up with the guy's name.
I think you actually are both wrong about what you think the movie is.
Oh, I don't.
Go ahead.
Now, Doug, quick side note.
Now, I have three points.
Ken has three points.
Three, I have two.
Yeah, yeah.
Three, three, two. Yeah, yeah. Three, three, two.
Yeah, this is exciting.
Shit's happening.
All right, negative two names.
He says negative two.
Because he knows exactly what it is and what those two names are.
I got to say to Sam, Samuel Levine, if that is your full name, Samuel, name that movie.
Wait, your name is Samuel with two M's?
No.
Okay.
But it's Sam with two M's Levine on Twitter, you guys.
That's correct.
Is it a SAG thing?
It was a SAG thing, although I was Sammy when I was a kid.
Good to know.
Doug loves this.
When you were a kid, you were Sammy Levine?
Name histories. That's adorable. Yeah. All right. when you were a kid you were Sammy Levine name histories
that's adorable
alright just go ahead and finish this off
I can't I can't
the movie is 42 starring Harrison Ford
and the guy who played Jackie Robinson
that's my favorite
if I could give a point for
a wrong answer that was fun,
I would give it to that one.
But unfortunately, second build in that movie is Christopher Maloney.
Yeah.
Whoa.
That's a tough one.
And yeah, that means that Matt Myra gets a point.
Damn right.
Was top build Harrison Ford?
Yeah, it's 42 starring Harrison Ford.
Christopher Maloney.
I thought it was the Ron Howard movie about racing.
Yeah.
What is that guy's name?
Chauncey.
Racist.
What is the guy's name, by the way?
Chandra.
What's his name?
Chauncey?
Chandra Levy.
Chandra.
It's Chadwick Boseman.
Oh, yeah. That was never going to come out of my mouth.
And Leonard gave him eighth billing.
Hey, nice job integrating baseball.
Here's Christopher Maloney's like...
So, are you saying the racism carried over all these decades into Leonard's billing order?
No, I'm just trying to say that he was eighth because he was against some powerhouse actors,
some very famous actors who go by names like Brad Bear and Judy Tyler.
My God!
I'm going to have to have a very serious talk with Leonard.
I'm sure that in the movie it said,
and introducing Chadwick Boseman as 42.
But I feel like Leonard has the moral right,
he has the moral responsibility to be like,
screw that, I'm gonna, you know,
undo this historical injustice,
and I'm gonna give Chadwick Boseman
billing over Christopher Maloney
or Elias Koteas or whoever it is, you know?
I bet Hollywood's going to retire
Chadwick Boseman's name, too.
How many points do you have now, Matt?
I'm tied. Yeah, we, three-way tie, dawg
All around
Who challenged you?
That would be Sam
I challenged Sam
You challenged me
To get the point
Ken is next
I finally get to pick something
Oh, okay
Ken gets to pick
And then we go to Matt
Ken, would you like
Ship Shape Sean suggested
I never saw the first one.
And that's movies with a number in the title,
but it's not part of a series.
I never saw Leonard Part 1 through 5.
Malcolm I through IX.
That might be one of the ones that he's going to give you.
It might be.
I'm not going to say anything.
I'm not picking that.
At Real Gravy, spelled G-R-A-V-E-Y, suggested El Duderino.
And that's movies with seven or more words in the title if you're not into that whole brevity thing.
to that whole brevity thing.
Or,
at Brody Qualls,
Q-U-A-L-S,
suggested Juice Bigelow,
and that's movies where someone uses fruits or vegetables in a sex act.
Which one of those?
These are funnier categories than Jeopardy, right?
I got some big laughs on Jeopardy sometimes.
Potent Potables makes everybody laugh.
17th century English literature always got me.
Oh, shit.
I'll run that board.
Just got real.
Which one do you like, Ken?
Let's do the seven-word title thing, the Doodorino.
Okay.
This movie's got seven words or more in the title.
Would you like one from 1966 or 2003?
People are dying for 66.
I turned 40 today. I'm going to go 66
what?
oh goodness
three stars from Leonard for this movie
he liked it
he calls it not too funny
but quite pleasant
pleasant
and he says that one of the one of the characters but quite pleasant. Pleasant.
And he says that one of the characters' blustery performance led him to being cast in a very popular sitcom.
And he names eight names.
Blustery performance.
Yeah, somebody was blustery,
and then that transferred to television somehow. To a blustery sitcom.
I'll go
seven, what the heck.
It's eight, right?
I'll go seven. Alright, he says seven.
It goes to Sam now, right?
Is that how this works?
Who challenged last?
Matt challenged me on the last one.
Oh, then it goes to Matt.
Oh, does it?
Yeah.
Great.
Going to have to go ahead.
I got to say I like how quiet it is in here,
and I apologize for yelling at you for not being quiet.
It's a great crowd.
Let's have some chatter out there.
Come on.
No, no, Ken.
Don't ask for chatter.
I just told them I appreciated the quiet.
So dead. So dead.
So dead. Hey, bada, hey, bada, hey, bada.
I gotta ask Mr. Kengeman
to name it. I don't know why I'm
naming you Kengeman.
But I'm gonna give you all the names
but the main name, and the
crowd is telling me that was the bad
move. Are you trying to
seduce me, Kenjamin?
How many names did you say?
Eight.
No, it's one off of seven.
All right, you get seven names for this movie that has seven or more words in the title.
And it's so pleasant.
66.
Not too funny, but quite pleasant.
And a blustery performance led to being cast in a sitcom.
And your names are Giovanna Raleigh.
BC.
Leon Askin.
Carol O'Connor.
That was my guess as to who got cast in a sitcom, by the way.
Oh, that's good.
Harry Morgan.
Aldo Ray,
Sergio Fantoni,
and Dick Sean.
Only one name remains.
Sweet Dick Sean. Seven or more words
in the title from 66.
Can you name it, Ken?
Wow.
Who's going to get the point if he misses it matt matt will have the lead i will mad is gonna take
the lead if he gets this i mean if if ken doesn't get this i don't know what sam's up to over there
what are you stealing my water uh i uh wow i'm gonna say that it's
Uh, I, uh, wow.
I'm going to say that it's...
Come on.
Those Magnificent Men and Their Flying Machines.
That's not right.
It's only seven. That's only six.
Those Magnificent Men and Their...
That's seven.
Listen.
Oh, no, that's seven.
That's seven.
All right.
It's incorrect.
It's wrong.
The answer is... Do you know this? The answer is, what did you do in the war, daddy?
Oh, everyone's favorite Dick Shaw movie.
From 1966.
He picked it.
That's the best Dick Shaw movie.
Dick Shaw and the father of Wallace Shawn.
Matt Myra has four points, everybody.
He is poised to take down the Super Tournament
of Championships 2.
Wow.
Guys, I feel
good about it. I don't even know who the star was. I could have gone 8.
Who's the star?
Oh, the star of it is
hang on a second.
Because everyone's dying to know
this along with me. James Coburn.
James Coburn. James Coburn.
Ah, Jimmy C.
Yeah.
Wow.
In like Flint.
All right, Sam gets to pick.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
I can't wait for the audience to be so mad when I win.
They love you.
Will you guys get mad if he wins?
You too.
If your name tag's up here, of course you are,
but everybody else is fine with it.
You did a good job.
You came back, man.
Yeah, that was...
It's still 3-3-3, so this could go on for a while.
It's 3-4-3.
It's 3-4-3.
It's still 3-3-4.
Here are your options, Sam.
All right.
Celebrating the 30th anniversary of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom today.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
Zero names.
At Elliot's World, I don't know what you think is happening, but you should wait.
Okay.
At Elliot's World on Twitter suggested, hold on to your potatoes.
But that is movies that take place in Ireland.
Oh.
That is a weird stretch in logic from...
No, I actually find it very valid. That is a weird stretch in logic from... Hold on to your potatoes is a line in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Jules.
Today's the 30th anniversary.
I'm familiar.
Fuck you.
All right.
Spoken.
That's a weird leap.
Shut up.
At ladies, pimps suggested...
Oh, I'm sorry
ladies is pimps too
oh
yes they are
suggested camo toe
but they're called madams
seriously Matt
suggested camo toe
and that's movies with women
in the military
so dumb Suggested Kamoto, and that's movies with women in the military.
So dumb. And at Jay Parkus suggested Rocco's Modern Life, and that's Sylvester Stallone movies after 2006.
Which was his last outing as Rocky.
That is a brilliant name
and also there are hundreds to choose from.
Not hundreds.
It feels like it.
What do you think, Sam?
I will take Women in the Military.
All right.
Cam O'Toe.
Would you like a movie that has Women in the Military
from 1980, 1981, or 1997?
Hmm.
Uh, I will say
1997.
Yeah!
I never understand why people get so excited
about what year was chosen.
Three stars from Leonard.
He says this movie is gung-ho.
Ooh, Michael Keaton.
No, he doesn't say this movie is titled gung-ho.
Damn it.
He says it's based on a novel.
Pushed by Sapphire.
Pushed by Sapphire.
And there was a 2004 sequel that debuted on cable TV.
And he lists
11 names.
How many names can you get it in, Sam?
Who's it going to next?
I think it's Ken
because Matt just got the last point, right?
All right.
Oh, Matt challenged and got the point?
So Matt's next.
Oh, all right.
Thanks, Dave.
Dave is on it.
Audience member Dave has an eye on the prize.
What's going on with that pizza?
It just seems to be just sitting there.
Well, I mean, I've had three.
I know, but let the audience have it.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just pick up slices and throw them at them.
Do you want the pizza?
There's a real dorm ambiance here.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Pizza there.
There's weed over there.
There's seven slices left.
You would like one, even though you're sitting next to the horrible woman who doesn't want me to win.
It's a lovely dress you're wearing.
It is not Memorial Day yet.
Don't wear the white shoes.
She's wearing white shoes.
What?
You can have a slice.
Oh, he tossed you something.
Thanks, dude.
Ooh, Sam, you can get laid later.
He tossed something up here and it went past me.
There you go.
Take a slice.
Oh, Dave needs a slice.
I will promote the pizza place, everybody.
If you want a good slice of pizza, head to Pag Libs.
What am I doing?
I don't know.
Pagliacci.
Oh, thank you.
See, I'm not from here, guys. Pagliacci. It's See I'm not from here guys
Pagliacci
It's a good slice I'll tell you that
You know I think the tomato one
Is a little too salty for my taste
But the one with the meat on it
Fuck yeah
I'll take four
Matt I'm going to go negative one
Oh what are we doing
We're playing the Leonard Maltin game
I was giving away pizza You're going negative one on this, what are we doing? We're playing the Leonard Maltin game.
I was giving away pizza.
You're going negative one on this movie, which had a sequel in 2011, direct to cable.
2004.
Which aired on Starz.
I made that part up.
I don't.
Negative one.
There's one slice left for anybody who wants to walk up and grab it if you're hungry.
2008, negative one.
Matt, I should point out if...
Oh, there's a girl behind you.
Oh, yeah.
Share it, share it, share it.
Chivalry. Lady of the Trap.
Lady of the Trap.
Lady of the Trap.
Yeah.
Meat in the middle.
Meat in the middle.
You guys should bone later.
Oh, she gave you the Carby stuff.
She's a keeper.
Sam, name the movie.
Negative one.
No.
What?
Oh, I meant...
Wait, what happened?
G.I. Jane starring Demi Moore.
He says G.I. Jane starring Demi Moore, He says G.I. Jane starring Demi Moore,
and the answer is Starship Troopers starring Casper Van Dyke.
I was going negative three.
Negative three.
Frustrating.
Frustrating.
I know.
G.I. Jane came out
in 1996
I believe
after strip tease
wow that ending
snuck up on me
I was like
fucking around
with the pizza
like oh this is
gonna go for a while
longer
guys what happened
here
Matt Myra
defeats
Ken Jennings
and Sam Levine!
Can't do it.
That was for you, Dave.
I will get both Sam and Ken back on the show as soon as possible to put them back in the mix
to eventually someday possibly go up against Matt Myra and
Jon Hamm.
Matt, you're in the super
duper tournament of championships.
I can't believe I got out-hammed
by Sam Levine. Well, I wasn't
throwing it. I'm going to call you
Ham Levine from now on.
I would be honored to be Ham Levine. Guys, I'm a valid
human being. Hold on, hold on.
I need to talk to Sam. I need to talk to Sam
for a second. I went negative two on a movie
and got it. I would qualify for
another tournament. But your name fits nowhere
in Ham Levine.
That's the joke.
That was very good, Matt. I am sorry
that I ended your evening.
I would have gone 80-81,
but I just didn't remember which year was Private Benjamin.
Last Man Standing!
Sorry.
All right.
I'll fuck up a...
I'll fuck up a round of Last Man Standing,
but let's...
What do we do here?
Richard Dean Stanton movies?
Let's take a...
Yeah, it's just Harry Dean Stanton movies. But let's... What do we do here? Richard Dean Stanton movies? Let's take a... Yeah, it's just Harry Dean Stanton
movies. But let's take care of
some business here. Who
did you win for, Matt? I won
for Dave, right over there with the Discobalope
shirt. Where's Dave at?
And can I just say to the other two name
tags I did not take, see, it's a moot point.
It's a moot point.
What is?
What?
The two name tags that were so wonderful and directed towards me and I did not choose.
Dave, please enjoy Kelsey Grammer's turn as Beast.
The wet hot American Sam, Summer of Sam.
I don't want to take a picture of that before I leave here.
Well, you can.
That's the beauty of it.
I can?
You can take a picture of that.
I'm going to do that.
Keep it.
I'm going to do that.
Totally hang out. Take pictures. Do you want to do announcements to the can take a picture of that. I'm going to do that. Keep it. I'm going to do that. Totally hang out, take pictures.
Do you want to do announcements to the campers right now?
No, I'm good.
All right.
What have you got to plug, Sam? Anything coming up?
Do Me Last. I'm going to take a picture of it.
Oh, okay.
Do Me Last. Nice.
I hear that at so many gang bangs.
Doug, when does this go up?
Sam is plugging his movie, Do Me Last.
Doug, when does this go up?
Sam is plugging his movie, Do Me Last.
This will be on iTunes at the discretion of iTunes,
because when you have a paid episode,
they put it up like a week after you give it to them.
Sure.
Because it takes that long for them to get their shit together and put it on iTunes.
You think this will be up by June 5th?
I think so.
Yeah, sure.
June 5th, if you're in Phoenix, come see Jonah Ray and myself do some stand-up
and record a brand new podcast where we just make fun of Chris Hardwick.
Ken, what can people look forward to with you?
Are you going to go back on Jeopardy again?
Ken, what can people look forward to with you?
Are you going to go back on Jeopardy again?
That's like for the rest of your life, right?
Every once in a while.
It's the 50-year-olds tournament.
It's like Dorian Gray. Every five years I show up and I look a little worse.
I get a little dumber.
A little more senile.
They wheel me out there.
I'm at Ken Jennings at Twitter.
I'm, if you like children's books, and I know your listeners love children's books.
I write the junior genius guides for, you know, weird homeschooled kids.
So if you know a smart kid, buy them these books.
Can I also tell you, I'm a long-time subscriber to Mental Floss,
and I thought when they took your column out, I was heartbroken.
Oh, that's so nice of you to remind me of this.
Did you?
What did you do that for?
Why did you say that to him?
Well, at the end of the day, I'm saying a nice thing.
It bothered me.
No, but now.
He did say that he loved it while twisting the dagger in your
heart. I loved
Inglourious Masters. You should have been in it more.
I agree. I agree, and
thank you. I was a big Freaks and
Geeks fan, and I love shows that
just end right there on top. You know, that
don't go too long. Yeah.
Isn't that great?
That's why I love Ken Jennings.
I enjoyed your recent turn in Modern Family.
I saw that on the plane recently.
I was serious in 2011, but thank you.
It was on the USA Network.
Thank you very much.
You got a check in the mail for that.
I know how SAG works.
I do.
And by the way, if anyone's curious at home, those checks are to the tune of $71.
Thank you, show business.
Yeah, residual checks are cool.
Hey, you should write something. We get more.
Those checks are...
It's true, the checks for acting
get pretty small and kind of silly,
but, you know, you still get them.
So there's that.
I could buy dinner that day.
What are you eating for $71?
I only eat caviar and lobster.
On residual day.
I should have pointed that out.
Doug, I believe you got some business to take care of right there.
No, no, it was Sam's turn.
Oh, yeah.
You can catch me on Kevin Pollack's chat show every Sunday.
Thank you very much.
Great program.
I enjoy it very much.
I don't know why you didn't think about that.
That's an ongoing thing
and we have some great guests coming up
on June 1st Padgett Brewster will be guest hosting
our guest is yet to be determined
and then on June 15th
for the first time in over 5 years
I will be hosting the show
guest as yet
to be determined
what's Kevin doing to leave you and Padgett in charge?
He's shooting a movie in New Orleans.
What's the movie, do you know?
I know it's a sequel to Casino.
I do.
It's called When I Count to Three.
And it's him and Vinnie Jones.
Sounds like an anger management movie.
No, it's about hypnotism, but I can say no more.
Oh, yeah.
When I count to three, you'll go to sleep.
You'll be a chicken.
I didn't read the script.
Which is a great thing to say at the beginning of a movie.
Yeah.
Are we doing Last Man Stanton?
What's that?
Are we doing Last Man Stanton?
We'll do a Last Man Stanton for fun.
I want to give myself and Ken the opportunity to win something up here today.
Come on.
Hey, Ken, remember earlier when you were like, winning feels better?
You were right.
Is this the first time
it's ever come up? It's great, right?
It's fantastic. I love it.
I'm going to kick my legs out like that Lily Tomlin
character.
You can't see this on the podcast,
but he's kicking his little legs and it's adorable.
Of the three of us, Matt has his girlfriend here today.
So this is...
He needed to win today.
He needed this.
That's true.
He's a big man.
It's not my birthday or anything.
I didn't fly up here alone.
You son of a bitch.
fly up here alone?
You son of a bitch!
The only plug that I want to say tonight is that I have
the intention
and hopefully it will actually come through
into actual action
to record my
next special for
television in this
theater.
And I guess I could say,
I could say late summer, late summer.
So that nice lady that I yelled at,
come back and yell out
Doug Loves Movies while I'm doing my act.
And I'll get mad at you
all over again.
The lady that hates me, she can come.
What's that?
The lady that hates me over there, she can come too.
Yeah, she can come because Matt will not be here, I promise.
Kajenix, ladies and gentlemen.
One more time for Sam Levine
Matt Myra
our winner Matt Myra
somehow he did it
thank you guys so much for coming
we'll see you again soon
oh where are the shitheads We'll see you again soon.
Oh, where are the shitheads?
Who was the... I didn't write one.
You didn't write one?
I'll do it now.
Tell me.
Just tell me.
Just say it.
Just say it.
Do you want to say it?
You're not on microphone.
No, not on microphone.
Say it.
What?
Okay, yeah, good one.
All right. As always... No, not on microphone. Say it. What? Okay, yeah, good one. Alright.
As always...
Oh, this guy won?
Where's the one that didn't win?
Oh, I am Sam. That's right.
It's got a shithead on the back.
Oh, it's a long one.
Alright.
As always
People who don't play the Leonard Moulton game
The right way are a shithead
And Sam's dad is a shithead
Harsh Harsh.