Doug Loves Movies - The 12 Guests of Xmas with Riki Lindhome, Kate Micucci, Leonard Maltin and 9 more guests
Episode Date: December 21, 2020Doug welcomes Matt Braunger, Sean Jordan, Kevin Kraft, Samm Levine, Riki Lindhome, Jessie Maltin, Leonard Maltin, Kate Micucci, Sean Sakimae, Geoff Tate, Dan Van Kirk and Clarke Wolfe to this... year’s 12 Guests of Xmas show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seats with 50 ads and popcorn kernels in his teeth
there's still not one that he won't see cause Doug loves movies
hey hey hey everybody my name is Doug and I love merry? Anyway, welcome to the 12 Guests of Christmas 2020,
the Doug Loves Movies annual event where 12 of my funny friends
compete to become king or queen of Christmas Mountain
or something like that.
They'll compete three at a time with each winner moving on
to the final round at the end of the show where we will crown
the ultimate trivia master i don't know and we're playing the original og old school leonard malton
game my first three guests are clark wolf sean S. Jordan, and Matt Bronger.
Hey, y'all.
What's up?
Hello.
Hello.
Let's meet them individually and alphabetically, starting with Matt Bronger is here.
Hi, pal.
Hey, buddy.
How are you?
How's it going?
It's going great.
Yeah?
Going great.
Yeah.
Fatherhood's still working out for you?
Yeah, man. three months in probably you
know i can't imagine to last that much longer but it's been you know it's been good no yeah
it's awesome look i my my wife and i uh when the california fires uh hit we decided to drive to
massachusetts so we drove 3 000 miles to uh go live with her in-laws for about a month and just be somewhere else.
And we just got back four days ago.
So we we made it about as hard as it could be already.
So I don't know how much worse it can get.
I just jinxed myself. But, you know, but it's good. It's good. Everything's good.
All right. Well, in case you get, uh you know eliminated at the end of this part
of the show um why don't you go ahead and do uh any plugs that you might want to do now that's
that's probably a safe bet and and a good bet to hedge uh since i i have won this uh this game and
got all the way to the terminates turn into champions uh exclusively uh by lucking out and someone else flubbing or
goofing off and whatever. So yeah, no, just, I might just plug my podcast.
This might help with Matt Bronger.
People call in and leave anonymous messages and myself and a guest offer
uniquely unqualified advice.
So it's every Thursday on the, the laugh button podcast network.
I'll just plug that.
Yeah.
I know how unqualified your guests are to answer questions. Cause I was on the show once Button Podcast Network. I'll just plug that. Yeah, I know how unqualified your guests are
to answer questions because I was on the show once.
You were great.
Oh, thanks, Tim.
Ripping a bong in the kitchen.
Like that's the best guy to get advice from.
Well, thank you for being here.
Thank you.
And yes, you will need some luck
because, well, you'll see who you're up against.
Sean Jordan is here.
Hello, buddy.
What is happening?
I'm excited.
You were saying before the show that you've won in the past just because you lucked into a Jason Lee category.
It was, yeah, it was Jason Lee or it was Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Yeah, it was Jason Lee or it was Jennifer Love Hewitt.
But I remember the answer was the movie Heartbreakers because Jason Lee was in it.
So I think that might have been what it was.
But I got negative two names, I think, and I got to go to the Tournament of Champions.
And it was pretty buck because I lost real quick when I got there.
Fun, though.
Do you have anything that you would like to promote?
I'm a part of a podcast called All Fantasy Everything. So if you have two hours a week to kill listen to that and otherwise just
you know good energy out in the world have fun enjoy uh enjoy what you can right now and smile
yeah that's a good attitude i like it yeah man um i also like that um the people in the
apartment building i'm in have decided that right now is when they should vacuum the hallway.
They're really going at it out there.
I don't know if you guys can hear it.
I can hear it.
Yeah, I can hear it.
Yeah, they're really – it usually doesn't take too long because it's just a little patch of hallway right outside my door.
But it's still hilarious how, how you know podcasting is so tricky
when we're all at home i i it's already stopped so i think we're good um clean also joining us
is clark wolf hello clark hey doug how are you i'm good thank you uh You're East Coast living for this situation.
I am. I'm back in my hometown of Atlanta.
Really?
Yeah. Yeah. And it's been nice, you know, it's been nice to to be with the fam and get it really, you know, the weather is good. It's all good.
is good. It's all good. I hear that, you know, some people have been, you know, there's been a lot of talk of moving to Atlanta or anywhere in Georgia just to vote in the Senate runoff.
It's going to happen. Perfect timing for me that that is not why I moved here. However,
it definitely is a benefit. And and I have absolutely registered and cannot wait to send Reverend Warnock and John Ossoff to the Senate.
All right. Well, fingers crossed on that. And do you have anything that you would like to promote?
I do, Doug. Third Christmas is a charm. Deathcember is finally coming out.
coming out. I don't know if you remember, but I have promoted this horror anthology I'm in called Death Sember for the last two Christmas episodes. And this year it's finally out. So you can watch
me and Barbara Crampton in Death Sember. I will. That sounds great. Oh, yeah.
Great Barbara Crampton from the classic Reanimator. We love Barbara Crampton. Yeah. All
the genre boys and girls are super into her. She is worth being into. She is the best. She is the
sweetest, most beautiful, most wonderful lady. So we love our Barbara Crampton. We stan a Barbara
Crampton. We've got nine guests standing by to compete today after the three of you are done.
So we're going to get to it pretty quickly. But I do like to ask the question that I ask
every year in this show. What did you bring for the prize bag? Just kidding.
My heart skipped a beat almost. I was like, fuck, I didn't.
You have us trained so well
it really streamlines this thing when we don't have name tags or prize bags um but i do want
to know from each of you uh in any order uh please tell us your favorite Christmas movie. Scrooged.
Oh, it's so good.
It's so, every year. So good.
Even year round, I watch it.
Doesn't even have to be Christmas.
I did a marathon of it on one of those cable channels last year on Christmas Day.
I don't know if it's happening this year, but I definitely caught it that way.
And maybe even watched it like one and a half times.
Yes.
I find that movie extremely entertaining.
A big part of what I like about it is how people didn't get it at the time.
Like it wasn't like a smash hit.
Right.
It was people were a little weirded out by it.
And I still am like I still feel like.
Well, it's darker than you think. I feel like even when he turns nice at the end, spoiler,
that Bill Murray is still super physically mean to Bobcat Goldthwait.
I mean, you know, it's funny.
I recently read the Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol for the first time.
It's a really close adaptation.
Like, it's actually a legit, like, really solid adaptation of that story there's a lot of
dark humor in uh dickens christmas carol so yeah and people don't know about the original dickens
uh version that it did take place at a tv network right absolutely up with the idea before the thing
materialized in reality way ahead of its time yeah Dickens actually wrote Scrooge for Bill Murray.
I don't know if you guys know that.
Everybody knows that.
Yeah.
Okay, basic trivia.
Sorry.
I'm done.
It hurts.
Shakespeare wrote What About Bob for him?
Well, that's, I mean, it's King Lear.
Come on.
You didn't call it What About Bob?
What about you, Matt Bronger? Do you have a favorite Christmas movie?
I mean,
the first one that came to my mind because it's just so fun and everything
fits together so well as die hard. Um, it's, you know,
and it's only a Christmas movie because it takes place during Christmas.
I don't know if it's technically a Christmas movie, but I'll just go.
Cause I it's, it's, you know, something about a barefoot man taking on a terrorist organization
in a skyscraper. It was just great.
Yeah. Jesus, dude.
I always watch that scene where the guy on the plane tells Bruce Willis to relax. You should
take off your shoes and socks and scrunch up your toes in
the carpeting because you know what's going to happen to his feet in the movie when you're
watching that scene when you've seen the movie over and over again i'm just like why did he
listen to that guy i've never thought about that ever yeah i know i seriously never put that together
like this guy that guy on the plane fucked the whole thing up i never yeah that had there had
to be in the script a reason for bruce Willis to not have shoes on through the whole movie.
Well, if you saw the director's cut, he also was like, and like, leave your shirt off.
Only wear a pink top and make sure you fight a bunch of guys and get really sweaty and greasy and smoke a cigarette.
And you'll be weirdly sexy, even for a man of your body type and hairline and that line
is really long but they it's in the director's cut i think that guy was actually attracted to
john mcclain on the plane it just john never picked up on it because he just didn't get it
you know yeah they did they figured the movie needed to get to los angeles quicker they didn't
spend so much time on the plane uh The planes are in the next diehard.
What about you?
What about you, Sean?
It changes.
And I think right now it's going to be Home Alone.
I just watched Home Alone like two days ago.
I'm not splitting the atom, I understand,
but it's so good.
It's so, so, so good.
Everything from the knocking down of the statue
in like every time a car
pulls into the driveway.
And then the one time it's just implied that they knocked it down.
Cause they just cut to the movers, like picking it up.
That's such a good, funny, tiny little part, but it's just so, so, so good.
I love it so much.
Have you ever seen the, the Walter Matthau,
Mason Gamble version of Dennis the the menace uh yeah i think so
it's like it's so crazy because walter mathau gets his nuts crushed and stuff he gets tortured
like as badly as the wet bandits and all he's doing is minding his own business in his home
yeah it's buck to think about like what that would do like a paint can to the dome you'd be so
oh that would hurt so bad like a concussion or that iron straight to your nose broken nose in
a million pieces your nose would be shattered everywhere yeah dude it's yeah i just i'll just
i'll add this because i just found this out uh evidently john hughes got the idea when they're shooting uncle buck and uh john candy like knocks on the door and mckelly culkin opens the um the
mail slot it's like who is it and he won't let him in he's just sitting there in a chair and he
got the idea he's like what if that kid just wouldn't let anyone in this house so he could
be by himself all right hotel room and like wrote that movie in like a weekend or something dude
that you love hearing that stuff
like yeah there was the way i think last year they had those little mini docs come out one of
them was on die hard one was on home alone but one of the interesting things about home alone
is john candy did that movie for scale so he got like 300 bucks or something to do home alone
when he was in the kenosha kickers oh wow that's so funny you know kiss me polka moved about 70 units
i mean it's not really a christmas movie per se but uh john candy and his uh his
relationship with uh gabby hoffman and macaulay culkin and uncle buck absolutely it's the cutest
fucking thing yeah man it's not that movie pancakes with a shovel and then when he
shows up and like i think about how when he shows up to the like that makeout party or i guess the
sex party with a power drill you're just like damn that'd be terrifying just i i have a framed
uncle buck poster from germany that uh that in german they called it Allein mit Onkel Buck, which means alone with Onkel Buck.
That's different. And it says, you know, mit McKellie Culkin
of, however you say it in German, of
allein in zu Haus, which means alone in the house. So home alone in Germany was
alone in the house. They make everything scarier.
Well, those are all some great recommendations
to people to get there
because I'm sure nobody's heard of any of those movies.
I know. Pedestrian.
I'll ask the next batch
people, name a Christmas movie nobody knows
about and then they'll probably
say the same answers.
What's your favorite Christmas movie?
The Apartment. apartment's a great
christmas new year's movie great call i gotta watch that for christmas for my wife great oh
the apartment yeah i'll take that one sean okay have you ever seen it i did ian made me watch
not made me but he loves that movie and we watched it like a year ago i think well ian is just a big
fan of workplace misogyny
yeah he was rooting for the guy's boss i didn't want to air him out like that but yes ian
i didn't say it it was funny that you know fred mcmurray was like you know he was in the flubber
movies and he was on my three sons on tv so like my whole childhood he was like you know just a
very sweet gentle man in most things.
But whenever he played a villain, particularly in the apartment, he really had he had that
gear ready to go.
Like he was very good at that.
So good in that movie.
They're all so good.
Yeah, it's that's a that's a fun one.
I think I think you're right.
I think I'll watch that one again to myself.
All right, let's do this.
Let's get into old school letter, Malton game,
apologies to anybody listening who doesn't know how this game is played,
but you know,
remember that first time you turned on jeopardy and you wondered why people
were answering in the form of a question, you eventually figure it out.
God.
And yeah.
Of course,
the late Alex Trebek recorded enough new episodes of Jeopardy
that you can actually see the final new episode of Jeopardy
will be on Friday, December 25th.
Are you kidding me?
I'm not.
Seriously?
I'm not.
I know.
That's how I'm spending my Christmas is just sitting around sobbing all day and then watching that.
Dude, he was such a G. I just watched that little mini doc that came out on Hulu. He was such a rad dude. He hosted like 11 game shows before Jeopardy.
Oh, yeah. And he was really wacky on them. Like he he took the serious approach because that worked for Jeopardy.
them like he yeah he took the serious approach because that worked for jeopardy but like in previous game shows i i'm watching on buzzer uh episodes of concentration and like if the
contestant is a woman he holds her hand he kisses her he like it's just you know it was in the 70s
so it was a whole different approach but it's it's fun to see Alex in that mode. All right, here we go.
Old school Leonard Maltin game. We're going to go alphabetical order just to make it.
I mean, I guess that's not fair, Clark. You're always-
I'm always last.
You're always going to be-
Go with first names.
I apologize. Oh, that's a fun idea.
Yeah.
Did you suggest that, Sean?
Yeah, Clark's first.
Yeah, and then you're last.
Well, that's all right.
You volunteered to be last.
You were in the sweet second spot.
I volunteered to hang out with my friends,
and I'm having a great time doing it.
So win or lose, we all come out victorious.
Sean, that is the spirit of Christmas,
if I have ever heard it.
It makes me uncomfortable when you guys fight like this i'm telling you all i do anymore is skateboard every day it's like i skip school all the time and i'm thrilled about it so
win or lose i'm gonna go skate later nice yeah all right so we're going we're gonna in that case, it goes Clark, then Matt, and then Sean.
So Clark gets the first option to pick a category.
Which one of these categories would you like to play, Clark? Happy Holidays. Okay. Or Good Santa.
Or Fa La La La Wa Wa.
I would like Good Santa, please.
Okay.
Good Santa please
Good Santa is
movies featuring an actor
known for playing Santa
but not in this movie
but it gives
this movie
from
1987
three stars.
He calls it engaging and sweet.
And then he lists 12 names.
Wow.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Clerk Wolf?
I'll say eight.
Oh, that's a good opening bid.
That's solid.
Yeah.
I'm so nervous.
Enough names to really get a strong feel for what we're talking about.
But we move on to Matt Bronger.
All right.
I'll do 12.
No, I'm kidding.
Got to play the dumb card uh yeah i'll i'll say i'll i'll i'll just i'll go six six names he says sean jordan and it's an actor who's known for santa but they're not
santa in this movie it was. 87. A nice way to confuse
the other players. Yeah.
Well,
Matty Boom Boom, I'm going to tell you to name it.
You're giving him six games?
I'm trying to play. I don't think
I know it. I don't
think I'm going to get it if I go less.
Oh, Sean, I don't think I know it.
Well, I know that.
I would bet that you don't.
My move is to bluff openly.
I think I'm getting the point on this.
We're playing to two points.
Mm-hmm.
So I think this might work out for you, Sean, but we'll see.
Yeah.
Your six names are, reading from the you know bottom going up of course
rain wilson justin long missy pile patrick breen robin sacks and enrico Colantoni.
Holy shit.
Oh my god, this is killing me.
Did you say 87? No.
What year
is the movie?
You did say 87, Doug, but that
can't be right based on all
the information you just provided.
So crazy that
like this this what i'm using to uh you know
run this game is usually pretty accurate but now i'm also seeing that next to 1987 it says directed
by stanley kubrick which is very not true no i'll be i'll be watching this movie whatever it is the second i love justin long's work with hubrick uh all nine of those movies but do you need the actual year matt or do you
think from that cast you can tell me look it's not it's not gonna help i'm sure you say like 2003
but um
shit shit okay it's just messy pile um, it's just a messy pile. Oh, my gosh.
It's 1999.
Okay.
Doesn't exactly help, but...
Oh, was he in that?
I'm glad Clark knew it so she could catch that that year was wrong.
Yeah, yes, yes.
And I'm so glad Sam levine isn't here because
he would be okay he'd be demanding that the whole game be thrown out i'm just gonna throw a long
bomb is it miss congeniality no it's galaxy quest hey you wait a second you don't get a
i wish i could give you a show off point, Clark, but that's OK.
The point goes to Sean Jordan.
Congratulations, Sean.
It is Galaxy Quest.
Sean, this is what you get for being a kind, wonderful soul.
It's all working out.
See the meaning of Christmas.
Look at that.
I'm thrilled about it, to be honest.
You did land in your lap.
Rainn Wilson, I learned recently because i i did
last summer last summer that's what i call january
uh last january at sketch fest they did a tribute to tony shalhoub and they showed galaxy quest
and uh rain wilson is one of the aliens in the movie and is pretty prominently so in the early going in the film.
And then his character just disappears because he was obligated to some other production and
couldn't they had to reduce his part. Wow. But yeah, it's fun to see Rainn Wilson playing
one of the aliens. And of course, early Justin Long and Patrick Breen is a character actor I've always enjoyed.
He's the one who has that sad death scene in Galaxy Quest.
And if this wasn't a Christmas episode, the category would have been called Been There, Breen That.
Breen There, Done That.
It's funny, Doug, because I was trying to think about people who played Santa.
And of course, for Tim Allen, like pop right into my head.
But when you said 1987, I was like, no, then OK, what other Santas could it be?
So that's funny.
I couldn't think of a single other Santa other than Tim Allen.
Like an actual notable Santa Claus.
I couldn't think of any.
He is the Santa Claus.
Santa Claus. I couldn't think of any.
He is the Santa Claus.
It's usually played by a character actor who isn't the main character in the story.
Right. Totally.
Like Ed Asner in Elf.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
But since Sean challenged Matt,
he gets the point that that means
Clark gets to go first in this next round, and then it will go to Sean again.
Because the order is reversed.
Clark, which category would you like?
Would you like Happy Holidays or Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la Let's do... Okay, I have a guess as to what this category is,
so I kind of want to find out.
Let's do Happy Holidays.
Okay, Happy Holidays is comedies that have a day of the week in the title.
Okay.
Okay.
From 1995, I'm guessing.
I don't know if any of this is right anymore oliver stone
yeah uh one and a half stars
um leonard says that this movie has a talented cast and that it is practically plotless
and he lists 12 names how many do you think it'll take you to figure it out, Clark?
Yikes.
Okay, this did not go how I thought it was going to be.
I thought that the category was going to be holidays
that were not Christmas.
Oh yeah, all those great Arbor Day movies.
You know, you know.
So 12 names and okay, 1995.
I don't feel great about this one.
So I'll, well, I'll say eight again.
Eight seems good.
That's a strong opening bid.
But this time we go to Sean, who's a vicious player.
Yeah.
So it, these are, and you'll have to pardon my ignorance.
These reviews are from Leonard.
Yeah.
Okay.
And in 95, it's got a day of the week in the title.
So that means Leonard didn't love the movie,
but he did say it had a talented cast,
but it was almost plotless.
Yeah, he gave it one and a half stars,
which is, you know, on a scale of one to four.
Yeah.
Is on the lower end.
I have an idea.
So it's either all or nothing.
I mean, you could say zero names,
but then Matt will challenge you possibly and then you'd have to name it.
I'll say zero names.
Let's have fun.
Wow.
Okay.
Well, it's fun for the game to end suddenly.
No, it wouldn't be
because Clark would get this point, right?
No, you'll get the point.
That's right.
If I win, then I get the point, don't I?
Yeah, and you will have won this segment of the show
because we're playing to two points.
Okay.
Well, then, no, I don't want to ten.
So I'll say, well, no, I do want to have fun.
I'll say six names.
Okay.
Matt, what do you think about that? Can you go
less? Uh, I don't think I can honestly. So I'll just say, uh, knock it out the box, Sean. All
right. Great. So now he gets six names instead of zero names. We added at least 20 seconds,
a full 20 seconds. I'm going to call it an audible, as they say in the world of sports.
And I'm going to say, Sean, you have to do it in zero names.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
What's the movie?
Is it Friday?
That is correct.
Yeah.
Good job, Sean.
I was going to go negative two.
If I did, it would have been Ice Cube and Chris Tucker in that order.
Is that right?
Let me take a look-see here um then probably john witherspoon i already put it away because
i thought you know that's done um yeah ice cube would be top builder then and then chris tucker
awesome that was amazing it's tricky thank you if you won le. Leonard would have liked that movie a little more.
That means you get to come back later in the show
and compete against other people
that will hopefully not win as quickly as you did,
although this will end up being a pretty long program.
So maybe in the end,
we'll all thank you for taking it down so quickly.
Dude, I have goosebumps.
I'm excited.
Thank you, Matt Bronger and Clark Wolf.
Hold for cannon noises.
Okay, that was...
That sound is always so depressing.
We'll be back after the...
We'll see you later, Sean.
And happy holidays to Clark and to Matt.
You too, buddy.
Happy holidays.
We'll be back after these messages or one message.
We'll be right back.
We're back and I'm joined by three more guests.
Who are they?
I'll tell you.
It's Kevin Kraft, Ricky Lindholm, and Dan
Van Kirk. Yay! Hello. Hey, let's meet them individually and alphabetically, as we often do.
Kevin Kraft is here. Hey, Kevin. Hi, Doug. Thanks for having me, friend. Oh, we had to have you because you are the only guest host that this show has ever had.
That's right.
I had a situation. I believe I was hospitalized.
You jumped in and took over for me one time, and I'll always appreciate you for that.
And, of course, we see you all the time, or I see you all the time,
for that. And of course we see you all the time, or I see you all the time when I go into the Jason Ellis show on Faction Talk Sirius XM. That's right. Yeah, that was when I guest hosted
for you, I'm used to talking with my friends in a room. I'm not used to a crowd being there.
So hosting for you at UCB was one of the more terrifying experiences of my life.
So I'm glad I didn't fuck it up.
Yeah.
And you know, thanks to this pandemic, you probably won't have to do it again.
Because I can just Zoom from, I can do a Zoom show from the hospital if need be.
That's a good point.
Also joining us today is Ricky Lindholmindholm hey ricky hi coming at
you from the closet again yep you have a lovely closet situation there in your home that you use
for uh for all of your podcasting i'm sure yep uh co-singer of the christmas version of the
douglas movie steam along with Kate McCoochie.
What else is going on?
Right now. I'm just sitting in my massage chair in my closet,
like excited to do this.
That's kind of it.
You know,
COVID is really boring,
but people could still see you in the motion picture.
Wolf of.
Wolf of snow hollow. Oh oh and they can see me on
wolf of snow wolf of snow hollow and and they can see me on law and order svu on hulu oh hell yeah
did you do an episode where they actually like wearing masks and stuff uh they're wearing masks
like part of the time and then not like it's a uh it's real
life yeah yeah yeah but we're kind of when they question the suspects they're social distanced
and stuff so yeah yeah and in the courtroom the jury has a plexiglass like dividers like between
them all things like that but yeah i heard that that was one of the shows that like you know
in the storyline they're
acknowledging that that there's a pandemic but like they can't exactly all have masks on all
the time because then you know that's not interesting television no i was so relieved
i did wonder if i'd have to do all my scenes wearing a mask and luckily i didn't so weird
and uh speaking of weird dan van kirk is here you know it's comedian podcaster zoom bingo
host doing it all dan i'm trying to yeah it actually you know what i was just thinking
ricky when you were talking you need because of like how like what people are doing now to like
keep going during this time you should bring back making it, but just for like, how are you doing
it during the pandemic? Yes. Like how are you making anything happen for your podcast? Making
it like it's a primer for any person who wants to like go for it and hear how other like Harris's
podcast, like always stuck out to me, the Ben Schwartz episode, the Tom Lennon one.
Thank you. You know, Harris was the first episode I ever did?
Really? Yeah. Well, cause I, I wasn't sure if I was going to be good at podcasting. And so I
contacted two of my nicest friends, uh, Harris Whittles and Steve Agee. And I was like, can I
interview you guys first? Cause I knew they'd be like interesting, but nice. Like I knew, I knew
I could like be mess up or whatever. I mean, Harris talking about Sarah sending the elevator
back down is one of the greatest analogies I've ever heard about this industry and like good people of which all of you are, especially Mr. Doug Benson.
And so I love that. Can I say one other goofball thing since you already said I'm weird?
Yeah, weirdo, go.
Are you familiar with how loophole has blown up on tiktok oh my gosh yes people just told me it's so
great it thrills me to no end i love it the other day and it's hilarious all these girls singing
loophole wait they are wait the thing that i saw was people playing loophole for their parents
oh i haven't seen that no i've just seen girls like duetting with other girls what okay i gotta
get back on i gotta get back on tiktok because i only saw videos of people showing the video
to their parents and filming their reaction that's gold too people should do that at thanksgiving
that should be a thanksgiving tradition it makes me so happy of, we're talking about Garfunkel and Oates and a song about
the hole
you can use.
The Christian hole.
Yeah.
You can go to heaven if you use that particular
hole.
The heaven hole.
Everybody knows that. The heaven hole.
The heaven hole.
Oh, that sounds like a great
New Orleans restaurant and good sex.
You said I was weird, dude. I'm just trying to live up to the brand.
And we should say, you said Harris a few times.
We should say Harris Whittles in case anybody is wondering which Harris,
not that there's a lot of Harris's, but he, he of course was a great comedian inventor of a humble brag and is no longer
with us, but one of the best getting Doug with high episodes featured him and
Sarah Silverman and who else was on there?
Oh, Eric Andre brought a dog with him that runs around and wreaks havoc throughout the show.
And that we did that at Largo, you know, years ago.
So that's a fun thing to go back and look at on YouTube if you want to see.
I think at one point Harris takes his shoes off and puts his knees in his shoes like Dorf on golf.
Of course. Of course.
Of course he does.
Perfect.
Before the game continues, I would like to ask each of you a question,
one specific question.
Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
I can only count like one or two.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
What is your favorite?
We'll start with you, Kevin Kraft.
Do you have a favorite holiday or Christmas movie?
Yeah, you know, it's kind of the predictable, typical answer,
but I've always loved Christmas Vacation.
I saw it in the theater as a kid, and it just never gets old.
Yeah, it's a pretty fun movie.
It pretty much moves from one well-set-up gag to another
uh chevy chase with some of his amazing pratfalls has caused him back pain to this day i'm sure
uh randy quaid when his when his crazy was controllable
when they could contain it and then it was out there for people to enjoy
i will say the strong runner up uh trapped in paradise i always like that one
oh that's uh lovitz and carvey and uh nick cage nick cage yeah that's a great movie i forgot
you know that famous trio yeah somehow it worked why did they never work
together again it seems like they should be making a series of films i'd be down for a trilogy
especially now uh what about you ricky do you have a favorite holiday mine is it's a wonderful life
but i do have to say you brought up Rainbow Connection.
I recently, like, as I finished yesterday, I rewatched all the Muppet movies.
Every single one?
Well, all the ones that are on Disney+. Yeah, that should be most of them.
Muppets Take Manhattan wasn't on there, but I did watch The Great Muppet Caper and Muppet
Movie, which has, you know, opens with Rainbow Connection.
Which is your favorite if you had to pick one?
Well, I used to think Muppets Take Manhattanattan but now that i can't compare them i i i'm gonna say the great muppet caper just because charles groden was so amazing and maybe deserves
an oscar for that performance yeah i mean he really you can feel how much he's in love with
miss piggy he loves her yeah and diana rigg yeah i loved i i think the great muppet
caper what's yours i mean for me the great muppet caper has one of the best gags of all time i talk
about it on this show every time the muppets even come up and that's when uh that uh the guy with
the flying fish uh lou zealand uh when they're break trying to break into the uh you know trying to break
through the gates outside of that mansion oh yeah and they're like you know how are we gonna get in
there and he's like i brought some paper towels it is like the most unhelpful strangest thing to say
i love it and it's good because one of the reasons it's great is because it never
comes back the paper towels never help out it'd be one thing if the paper towels save the day
but they don't no he just has them standing by if needed for the robbery yeah
uh and uh daniel van kirk what do you think uh same as Ricky. It's a Wonderful Life is my favorite holiday movie.
Usually every year I go to one of the arc lights
that do the Christmas movie screenings
and I go see It's a Wonderful Life on the big screen.
Not this year, obviously.
But yeah, that's my favorite one.
I absolutely love it.
I think everybody goes into It's a Wonderful Life
knowing that it's a Christmas movie
and that the ending is going to be happy and uplifting but can you imagine watching that movie from the perspective of wondering where
the hell it's going and if it is going to end happily yeah i mean it takes some big turns
it's heavy as hell and it only ends semi-happy yeah that's true like he's still stuck in that town yeah like do you know what i mean and
can like just barely pay for stuff he hasn't flourished like he doesn't get to be his brother
he's the richest man in town yeah and he still and and we and he still thinks that like uncle
billy is a complete fuck up like nobody ever redeemed like he's still like i'm glad all these
people came by with like a laundry basket full money, but you fucked us, dude. You still fucked us.
Nobody knows.
He's going to have to fight that teacher's
husband again at some point.
Teacher says.
That girl's accent is amazing.
Yeah, I love it.
Every time a bell rings.
This is perfect. You better finish it.
An angel gets his wings.
Wait, is that a superstition thing for you, Dan? If she didn't finish it? No, I just thought she was finish it. An angel gets his wings. Wait, is that a superstition thing for you, Dan?
If she didn't finish it?
No, I just thought she was crushing it.
I didn't want it to be left out there unfulfilled.
You can't start it but not finish it.
All right.
Well, those are some great recommendations that everybody already knows about.
Let's play the letter Malton game.
First person to two points wins this round and advances to the finals,
or I should say the final part of this show.
Kevin gets to go first just because he's lucky enough to have a last name
that begins with the letter K.
Finally pays off.
Yeah.
And Dan Van Kirk, I'm sorry. You're always going to go last in these alphabetical order situations.
I'll take it.
Do you run across anybody whose last name begins with what's left, W and Z?
Yeah.
Not too many.
Debra Winger, Wally Zerbiak.
But we've never run it.
We're not in the same circles, no.
You've never played movie trivia games with them?
Although, no, but did I ever do an episode with Edgar Wright?
Oh, I don't know if you did.
But if you did, yeah, that would be one.
Yeah, that would be one.
All right.
I'll try to get the two of you together.
Let's do it.
I can say Dan gets to go first.
Yeah, it could be me, him, and Andy Wood, and then I get to go first.
Oh, yeah, that's a great plan.
All right.
I'll put that together.
Thanks, buddy.
Yeah, probably not going to happen.
Right, I get it.
But still, it's a fun bit.
I think Edgar is quarantined in – or not quarantined, but, you know, he's in
England.
And I feel like he'd have to get up hella early to participate because there's like
an eight-hour time difference.
Isn't it later there?
Yeah.
So he'd have to stay up late.
Or I guess we could do like a nooner.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm in all right kevin you get a pick between three categories okay i won't tell you what the uh you know what the category
is until you've chosen one i'll just give you the titles would you like to play Merry Christmas to Al, Fa La La La La Wa Wa, or Eight Crazy Names?
Hmm.
All right.
I feel like as a New Jerseyan, native New Jerseyan, and convenience store enthusiast, I'm going to do the Ooh La La Wa Wa.
convenience store enthusiasts i'm gonna do the uh ooh la la wah wah well that's you know you you nailed it with that uh explanation for uh your choice because fa la la la wah wah is movies
that take place in philadelphia awesome not the movie philadelphia love a good hint out the gate i love the philadelphia jersey thing too because uh for
years whenever i'd you know play uh in philadelphia people in new jersey would say hey why don't you
come to jersey and i go because new jersey is close enough you can come to philadelphia
so apologies to everybody in new jersey if they felt like I was giving them a short shrift.
All right.
So this is a movie that takes place in Philadelphia.
The year is 2014.
Two stars from Leonard.
He calls this movie picaresque.
And he also says that it has an air of contrivance and he lists a whopping 13 names
oh my goodness how many names do you think you can get it in kevin craft
well that's a good question because that's that's a weird blocker I have in my head. I feel like people are very good at compartmentalizing based on locations,
and I always forget which cities that movies take place in.
Really seem to have fucked myself here.
I'll go 10.
10 names.
Okay.
Saying 10 names.
So we go to Rikki Lindholm.
She can bid less or it's 2014 you said
kevin 2014 is the year uh-huh uh i'm gonna say nine names excellent bid dan vankirk um can you tell me what Leonard thought of it again
two stars
I remember that he says
I don't know if this is as much an opinion
or just a description that it's
picaresque I have no idea
what picaresque means
I thought that would be a fun word to throw out there
because it's just confusing not picturesque picaresque means. I thought that'd be a fun word to throw out there because it's just confusing. Not picturesque.
Picaresque. No, picaresque.
Yeah. And then he also
says it has an air of contrivance.
An air of contrivance.
I'm gonna
tell Ricky to name it. Damn damn it i almost did that i don't know it at all
uh okay let's go so ricky gets uh nine names yeah i'm not getting this ricky i sincerely
thought that you would know it and i was like i was trying to sound like i did i'm like 2014
correct i know nothing i almost said name that movie and then I thought it would be too anticlimactic because I didn't know it I can only think of one movie I
would even guess at and I I think it's better than two stars and I don't I'm gonna need a
country of origin on picaresque so I have no idea nothing um yeah Yeah. All right. Well, you're going to get nine names from this cast.
So that means I'm not getting the first, I don't know, four.
The top four are going to be left off.
I still think you might get it.
Nine names is a lot of names.
So maybe something will, it'll trigger something.
Okay.
So here we go.
From the bottom of the list going up, it's Joyce Van Patten, Arthur French,
Bridget Barkin, Molly Price, Glenn Flesher, Dominic Lombardozzi,
Oh, geez.
mordozzi oh geez eddie marzan caleb landry jones and john turturro and then uh oh yeah you got nine names that's nine so john turturro is fifth build in this movie that takes place in philadelphia oh god um
john taturo is like one of those people that i know i've seen in stuff but i can't name anything
he's been in um i mean i think he's at his best when he's in a transformers movie see i've never okay John Totoro oh god
oh brother
where are thou no
fucking fuck
I'm trying to think of any movie from 2014
I just I pass
this is yeah I don't I don't blame you.
So the point goes to Dan, but this is a rough one
because it was the film directing debut of John Slattery,
the actor from Mad Men.
And the remaining people in the top four are Peter Garrity,
Christina Hendricks, Richard Jenkins,
and the top-billed actors Philip Seymour Hoffman.
I've never seen this movie.
I should have just said name that movie.
Yeah, because it would have been a rough one for Kevin too, I think.
It's called God's Pocket.
I've never heard of this movie.
Yeah.
That movie is picaresque.
That heaven hole again?
God's Pocket is the
heaven's hole. I think it's
probably the only Philip Seymour Hoffman movie I've
never seen. Or heard of, Doug.
That's a bad sign. If Philip Seymour Hoffman
is in it and you've never heard of it, that's a bad
sign. Yeah. No, it's
definitely a movie that did not
make that much of a of a dent and
uh apologies for coming out of the gate so difficult hopefully this next round
will be a little easier start once again with kevin but this time it goes to
dan because we switched the order around but kevin gets to pick the category again
i'll do better this time, guys.
So we still have Merry Christmas to Al, Eight Crazy Names, or Let It Snow, Let It Snow,
Let It Snow.
Which one of those would you like?
Okay, let's do Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow.
Oh, excellent choice.
This is movies where cocaine is used.
Oh, my specialty.
Oh, man.
Leonard gives this particular movie three and a half stars.
He calls it fascinating. And he says, as he often does, and who can blame him, it goes on too long.
And then he names 19
actors and actresses
how many
did I say the year 1990
1990
three and a half stars
how many out of 19 do you think it'll take you
to get it Kevin
8 How many out of 19 do you think it'll take you to get it, Kevin?
Eight.
Okay, it's an excellent bid.
We go to Dan Van Kirk.
So I would need the bottom seven.
Ricky would need the bottom seven. Ricky would need the bottom six.
1990 goes on too long.
Cocaine.
Cocaine, yeah.
I'll go seven. Seven names, he says, says ricky oh name that movie
easy okay let's see if what you can do with this okay uh dan um your seven names are eliana douglas michael imperioli kevin corrigan debbie mazer jerry
vale henny youngman and samuel l jackson whoa that name so those names are a lot more than, well, okay.
The God's pocket.
I'm just saying.
Seven powerful names.
Yeah.
19.
That's what happens in this game.
I actually know this one.
I should have done it.
I see.
Yeah.
I only have one guess.
Now I feel bad about it.
Why do you feel bad about it?
see yeah I only have one guess now I feel bad about it
why do you feel bad about it
because I don't remember
I don't think Samuel
Jackson's in my one guess
I felt really good when you said Michael
Imperioli
I mean everybody does when you
hear that name.
Well, I'm either getting or giving.
Good fellas?
Yeah.
That is correct.
Samuel L. Jackson did it.
Don't you remember?
Samuel L. Jackson has a good scene in it.
I totally forget him being in that movie.
And then I started thinking about myself,
that movie came out in 92, you fucking idiot.
And then a whole bunch of self-doubt came in. that's my yeah all right yeah it's a it's a really interesting bottom seven
because you know such a colorful interesting you know group of names and then uh and then it gets
a little bit more obscure for little walks and it's christopher serone frank delio chuck low frank vincent mike star
tony darrow frank silvero paul sorvino that's good remember when he's in prison he's slicing
the garlic in his really thin slices and then lorraine brocco joe pesci ray leota and top
build is robert de niro so what is also like God's Pocket and Goodfellas are about the same in popularity.
For sure.
Really good choices.
Really good even choices.
And both are inferior to Dances with Wolves.
Right.
Yeah, and Kevin picked both of those categories.
Goodfellas.
Everybody blamed everything on Kevin.
Somebody help me.
Remind me, what is the Samuel L. Jackson scene?
Why don't I remember it at all?
Doesn't he get shot?
I'm sure he does, just for walking in amongst all these white people.
I'm going to look it up.
He's the, yeah.
I have no memory.
They call him not so good names.
I believe that. That's his nickname in the call him not so good names. I believe that.
That's his nickname in the mob is not so good names.
Yes, not so good.
Not so good names.
Yeah, I don't know why I have no memory of it.
Yeah, Imperioli is pretty lowly build
considering how his character is a real turning point
in the storytelling.
And such a big scene with the, you know know go get your shine box and all that um but anyway uh thank you to all three of you for being
here apologies uh to kevin craft and ricky lindholm
oh it got me.
Bam.
And Dan Van Kirk, we'll see you later on in the show where you'll be going up against
Sean Jordan and a couple other people to be determined.
See, that's crazy, Doug.
I wish I had gone against Sean already because I feel bad about eliminating these two people.
But Sean Jordan, I'll kick out eliminating these two people but Sean Jordan I'll
kick out of anything no you did good you did you played well and I'm happy for you and that's
really good shit talk for uh you know coming up later in the show because I'm going to tell Sean
what you said don't you tell um Kevin I hope uh I hope we get to hang out in the same place again
Ricky I still you think of the most random stuff during a pandemic
and i long for the day again when i can run into like you me and anthony gelsen just walking past
each other on vine and being like hey what's up i miss those days so i can't wait until they're
back well i still walk around there so come find me okay i will. 100%. Sometimes I'm in line at the Trader Joe's. All right. Thanks, everybody. We'll be back with three more guests.
And we'll find out who they are right after these messages. We'll be right back.
We're back and I'm joined by three more guests. are kate mccucci sean sakamai and jeff tate
thank you all for being here thanks for having us hi thanks thank you hello thanks for speaking
one at a time let's meet them individually starting with half of Garfunkel and Oates,
singers of the Christmas version of this show's theme song,
holiday version. I apologize.
I keep trying to fight the war on Christmas,
but I keep forgetting to use the right phraseology.
Star of a crazy movie that I just watched on Hulu.
Do you know the name of it, Kate?
Oh, seven stages, something, something.
It's a crazy title.
It used to be called Corpse Tub and that was easy to remember.
You watched it?
Yeah, I did.
It's a really, really crazy movie.
It is a crazy movie you know
it's it's great for people to listen to this podcast because it's you know kate is in it
she's throughout the entire movie and then you know every other person that stumbles in and does
something weird uh in this you know very weird story um is you know tends to be people that,
comedians and actors
that we're all familiar with.
And it's really fun to watch.
Like I peeked on IMDb
and saw who all it was going to be.
And I was like,
oh my God, this is going to be hilarious.
Just the fact that,
I mean, you're like really good at not breaking
because of how Dan Harmon plays his character.
Dan Harmon is so good in this movie.
It's crazy.
I know.
He's so funny and you have to like talk to him seriously
in all of your scenes.
Oh my gosh.
He's just like, he's so so funny and committed and i don't know
it was yeah that movie we made that a few years ago you know and it was like just like really like
it was like a super hot heat wave and we shot most of it and like i think it was like two and
a half weeks maybe three weeks and um and it was like all during this crazy heat wave but like it
was so so much fun because especially all the cast everybody was so great and funny and it was like all during this crazy heat wave but like it was so so much fun because
especially all the cast everybody was so great and funny and like yeah i am i'm so happy it's
out in the world but um yeah i think i think that like you're saying um if you know comedy fans
would probably like a lot of the people in it because it's mostly comedians yeah and the title card is even longer than just seven stages uh to achieve eternal bliss
uh it goes on even further like uh it's it's pretty funny it's like rivals the uh
borat movies in in lengthy titles yeah and and and also taika waititi's in it and yeah
yeah that's one of the uh you know great things about it is I don't think it's spoiling it to say that he's in it
because he's the very first thing you see at the beginning of the movie.
Like, damn it, I didn't want to know that.
Kate Micucci, anyway, if that was a long-ass introduction.
Hi, Kate.
Hi, well, thanks for having me On this holiday episode
I like having you on
I mean I like having you on normally
But this is great that you know
You don't have to leave your house
And but you can still
You know it's still fun to
To talk to you
Because I feel like I'm talking to like
You know a character like a duck or something.
I'm here. I'm sitting here next to my dog. So.
Yeah. I just love that you're, you know,
that you do all the cartoon voices and stuff.
Oh, I was like, well,
maybe I do sound like a duck and I didn't even think that you were putting it
together.
No, you don't barely quack at all.
No, I meant more like a cartoon character, but I couldn't pick which one.
Yeah.
But thank you for being here.
Oh, thanks for having me.
And also joining us is Sean Sacame, who is a charity auction winner.
Cat's still riding those coattails. I can't believe it.
That's, you know, a few years back that happened.
And now it's been like, you know, 12 guests of Christmas staple ever since.
Sean Sacamay, I'll say it twice. twice i'm gonna say the next guy's name at
least three times i hope it's not beetlejuice how's it going sean i'm doing all right hey
thanks for having me back man seriously i in my wildest dreams i never thought that you know
doing that auction thing would would turn out the way that it has. Oh, yeah. I mean, there's a lot of auction winners out there that are going,
why, how come I'm not on the show from time to time?
It took, I don't know how it happened, but it did.
And I'm glad it did and that we thought of you for this special episode
because you have been, you've done the 12 guest show probably at Largo and UCB.
Yeah, both of those. And, you know,
I can't think of a better Christmas tradition for me than losing on the 12
guests at Christmas. So let's keep that going.
You made it like top three one time, didn't you?
You know what? I was fourth most recent,
I think like three years ago or two years ago.
I won the whole thing my first time out and just been chasing that dragon ever since.
All right. Well, let's go. Let's look at the actual stats. Let's go to the status right now.
Let's see what he's got. Oh, he's not. No, he's he's no longer with us.
Also joining us today, here he is.
Start the chanting now in your individual homes.
He's not a nurse.
He's not a doctor, but he's a man, and his name is Jeff Tate.
Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate.
Tate, Tate.
There he is. Tate. It happens everywhere we go or we used to go remember when
we would go jeff yeah yeah it feels like forever ago like a different lifetime yeah we would totally
go and people would yell tate tate tate and uh make the other guests feel bad. I remember being back, I was backstage,
and everyone was chanting Tate, and I thought I heard Kate,
and I was like, what am I missing?
And I rushed out, just thinking I have to go,
and then I was like, oh, thank goodness.
It just gave me a slight heart attack one time.
Well, I apologize for that.
I'll make sure that they enunciate better
well uh before the game continues let me ask you just uh one question that you know each of you
will answer and the question is why no wait i have better question. What's your favorite holiday movie?
Anybody can answer.
Oh, anybody?
Mine's Christmas Vacation, for sure.
Wait, let me just tell you real quick.
You can't say Die Hard, It's a Wonderful Life, Scrooged, Home Alone,
or Home Alone 2, Lost in New York.
alive Scrooged Home Alone or Home Alone 2 Lost
in New York
because even as a joke I don't
there's no reason that movie's dead
to me because there's you know there's a
cameo in it that I don't like
Rob Schneider
huh
remember the pigeon lady
that actress is anti-trans
oh man Brenda Fricker joined the Remember the pigeon lady? That actress is anti-trans.
Oh, man.
Brenda Fricker joined the dark side.
You didn't have to name names.
She's since apologized.
Oh, that'd be terrible if I got like an awful internet rumor going right here on Doug Love's movies.
But I'm sorry that I could trample all over your answer.
What movie did you say?
Oh, mine is Christmas Vacation.
Yeah, that's a lot of fun.
It's extra fun now knowing that Randy Quaid was,
you know, that wasn't acting.
What's your favorite, like uh gag in uh christmas vacation it's you know chevy chase takes a few uh has a few pratfalls oh man i mean yeah i'm just thinking of the sap when he's trying
to turn the magazines with the sap uh also that that rant he has when he's talking to the lingerie sales lady is so funny uh
i mean i don't know i'm trying to think of all the yeah no those are great examples
uh christmas vacation is her is her final answer sean well said no die hard, so I won't be that asshole.
I like Just Friends.
I think that's a pretty fun one.
Oh, that is Christmassy, isn't it?
I think so.
Unless I'm mistaken, right?
Yeah, he goes back home for Christmas.
Yeah, yeah, that's the one I'm going with.
Yeah, I feel like there's decorations
and Anna Faris probably has an elfish hat on at some
point oh she definitely steals every scene she's in with her goofiness yeah she's crazy
why isn't she on mom anymore i yeah i didn't i i don't know i i just heard the news like a week
ago that she was leaving the show i don't know why yeah's like, I guess she's technically still a mom,
but I thought it was from,
you know,
I thought the show was her point of view.
So yeah,
nobody seems to care.
It's still going to keep making money,
right?
Yeah.
I bring it up and I bring it up all the time and nobody cares about it.
I was shocked to find out that it was still,
that that show was still on.
Like, I didn't know that it was new. I didn't, it didn't.
You love William Fichtner, right? I do. Yeah. He's on there in a wheelchair.
I don't hate the show. I like, whenever I see it, I, I enjoy it,
but I see it in reruns. I didn't realize they were still making,
like I would have guessed that show stopped being on the air
in like 2012
had it even started by then?
I don't think so but I get what he's saying
it hasn't been around that long
it has been around
probably during a big part of your life
where you actually
noticed something
like that yes you absorb more kinds of pop culture that you weren't that into when you were younger
yeah you had to there was only There was only 150 channels back then.
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say.
What was your movie again, Sean?
Just Friends.
Okay.
I'm trying to write it down and continue things along, but I'm just not a two at a time mindset right now.
Who's left, Jeff?
What's your pick?
My answer is Christmas Vacation, but it was taken, so I'm going to say Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Great choice.
All right, now I'm confused. Is it taken or...
Is that a Christmas movie?
Is it the holidays when she gets kidnapped
or just could be any time of year?
I think it's Summer Vacation.
Oh, okay.
That makes sense.
It's National Lampoon Summer Vacation.
I would watch that.
That series took a dark turn.
Well, which one's your favorite, Jeff?
My actual favorite Christmas movie is Christmas Vacation.
Yeah, but what was your replacement answer?
Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang.
Oh, yeah, okay.
I like, yeah, I kind of put in that category of, like,
not necessarily especially specifically a Christmas movie,
but enough Christmas shit going on that I think, you know,
we know it's a Christmas movie is The Last Kiss Goodnight.
Oh, yeah. God, that is, yeah, underappreciated
as a Christmas movie. And, you know, even like John Carpenter's
The Thing could be a Christmas movie because it's snowing the whole time.
They're cut
off from the world, you know know that might be celebrating christmas
i think the longest good night is my favorite sam jackson performance of all of his movies
he's really it's hard to say i know it's just every line of his is just
ah flawless to me yeah he's very enjoyable in that movie that i noticed they're going to play coming to america
or i guess it probably happened already a few weeks ago but they played uh coming to america
on cbs on their sunday night family movie where they just keep raiding the vaults and getting the
most popular movies and showing them with commercials and edited and whatnot.
That's how I prefer to see movies.
They're advertising that coming to America, first of all, is over two hours long and it's in a two-hour slot, which will be 30 minutes of that.
It'll be commercials. They have to edit out quite a bit and
have the movie still make sense and not
also piss people off because you know you also
gotta leave in the funniest parts which don't really even they don't move the plot forward
one bit when they just hang out in the barbershop for a while and eddie murphy plays four out of
five people which must have been like the weirdest shoot of all time next to maybe you know like roger rabbit but uh
uh let's play the leonard malton game i could go on and on about all that shit um
i determined ahead of time that uh the order would be kate and then Sean and then Jeff, which is alphabetical.
All right.
Okay.
Cool.
First person to two points wins and advances to the finals later in the show.
And Kate gets to pick the first category.
Between, your choices are Merry Christmas to Al,
or Eight Crazy Names,
or Five Golden Rings.
Let's go with Merry Christmas to Al.
I like it.
It's movies featuring Al
Pacino.
Oh.
You're all very excited.
This one is from
1972
and
Leonard gives it
four stars.
He says it is epic
and masterfully
done
and then he lists
16 names
how many names you think
you would need to hear to figure out what this
movie is Kate Micucci
zero names
oh
that is a strong opening bid.
Very exciting.
I'm going to be so wrong.
I just figured I'd go for the gut.
Okay.
I like it.
So she says that she thinks she knows what it is, Sean.
Do you think she's going to be right, or do you think you know what it is, Sean. Do you think she's going to be right or do you think you need to do you think you know what it is?
So you need to bid negative
one if you want to go lower than.
Yeah, I'm going to follow early. I'll go negative one.
Okay, so
Jeff doesn't
need to be the position
he's in right now.
I'll go negative two.
Oh.
It's got serious really quick.
So what do you think, Kate?
Can you go?
Oh, is it The Godfather?
Well, hang on a second.
Oh, shoot. I messed up the game no it's okay uh you just have
to you know we all we all know it's the godfather so but what you need to do is say if you can
uh name the top four people you'd have to go negative four or more names because no just
three right jeff you just said negative two?
I think Jeff skipped to three, didn't he?
No, I said negative two.
Okay, apologies. So you need to go three or more deep, Kate, if you want to bid higher.
Or you can challenge Jeff and hope that he gets it wrong.
I'm going to challenge Jeff.
I don't know.
I mean, I wouldn't get the right order or anything, I don't think.
All right.
He needs to get the top two in the correct order, starting with the top one, according to Leonard and perhaps the world.
What do you think, Jeff?
Hello? hello hello what happened you answer oh i said um the godfather marlon brando, Al Pacino. That's correct. Wow. Nice work.
I don't know what happened there.
Did the Russians mess with my sound?
I couldn't hear any of that.
I didn't hear anything either.
It went quiet for me too.
Okay.
So something happened, but I think we're all good now.
That's correct.
Yes.
You did it.
One point for Jeff Tate. Yay. Yay, yes. You did it. One point for Jeff Tate.
Yay.
Yay, indeed.
Sean gets to go first in this next round,
and we flip the order around,
so then it's going to go to Kate and then to Jeff.
And Sean gets to choose between eight crazy names
or five golden rings or fisherman's dwarf now let's go with five
golden rings sorry I'm flipping through the pages of a book this is super old
school this is like how Alex Trebek would do Jeopardy,
and then they'd edit it quicker.
He had all his encyclopedias behind the podium.
Five Golden Rings is boxing movies.
This one's from 2013.
Leonard gives it two stars.
He says it's awfully contrived.
And he also calls it feeble,
which is, you know, that is like a bully word
to call something feeble.
This movie is a weakling.
And then he names
ten
actors and actresses.
How many
names do you need?
I'll go six.
John Sacamai says six names.
We go to Kate
Micucci.
Oh, man.
Okay, five names
what
year did it come out
2013
I'll say it again 2013
Kate was so nice she was like
I'll tell you
I actually worried your sound
went out and then I had like anxiety that you. I didn't know. I was actually worried your sound went out,
and then I had anxiety that I don't know why I said it.
2013, Jeff.
Okay, I'm going to go negative two.
Wow.
I mean, guys, I've been playing this game a little bit more
with Sam reason
super aggressive
what do you think
I don't think I can
I'm not even sure I know the movie
but if I do I don't think I can go negative three
on it so
this could be real quick Jeff Tate name that movie
okay is it Grudge Match
starring Robert De Niro
and Sylvester Stallone?
Yeah, that's correct.
Wow. Oh my goodness.
Oh man.
I can't believe it,
Jeff. You did it already.
Tate! Tate! Tate!
I feel better. This is what usually happens to me with Sam. Tate, Tate, Tate. First round knockout.
This is what usually happens to me with Sam.
Well, that's the thing is we'll see who ends up in the finals.
At this point, it's Sean Jordan, Dan Van Kirk, you, Jeff Tate,
and one more person to be determined.
And that's coming up later on. You, Jeff Tate, and one more person to be determined.
And that's coming up later on.
But for now, congrats to Jeff Tate.
Yeah, Jeff, congrats, man.
Yeah.
Thank you, guys.
I could finally use a win.
Like 2020, I really needed something to go right.
And thank you and goodbye to Kate and Sean.
Kate McCutchey and Sean Saccabye. Thank you so much for being here thanks again for having me
great talking to you guys
sorry about that i'm a big fan of both sounds is that extra jarring jeff you think that we have to do two, right? Boom, boom, every time?
You think it's getting on people's nerves?
No, no, people can take it.
Okay, cool.
All right, we'll see you later on, Jeff.
And we'll be right back after, you know,
these words with three more guests.
God loves movies.
three more guests.
God loves movies.
We are back and we are joined by our final three guests out of 12.
And since we're playing the old school Leonard Maltin game,
it only makes sense that Leonard Maltin,
Jesse Maltin and Sam Levine are here. Hello.
Whoa.
It's us. Oh man. Jesse Malton and Sam Levine are here. Hello. Whoa, boy.
Hey, it's us.
Get back.
Oh, man.
Let's meet them individually, starting with Jesse Malton.
How are you?
Well, I'm not the original game.
I came in the 80s, so I'm a little late.
But I'm good, sir.
I'm good. And we've been watching a lot of movies, some of them terrible,
some of them. Okay. Things are going well.
My mom bought her first Christmas tree today. You know,
the Jews went wild and got ourselves a Christmas tree.
That's how you know there really is a pandemic.
I may say that this year that Christmas trees are more popular than ever,
because I guess, you know, it's harder to be lazy about it and because you've got nothing else going on. And you know how small my mother is. So let me tell you, I nearly lost her among the
ferns pretty quick, but she's a very happy camper, even though she thinks her father is rolling over
in his grave. I said, it's fine. Yeah, I'm sure probably have, you know, other things to worry about.
Are you ready to compete? Speaking of fathers,
are you ready to compete against your father?
Oh man. You know, when, when Sam first became my dad, it was,
it was a bit overwhelming, but no, the reality is.
You're trying to say Leonard is not going to be a factor today.
It's Sam that you're worried about.
Every day of my life.
No, that doesn't sound right.
No, no, Sam, as, as you know, Sam, Sam is the brother.
My parents always wanted to give me, and then they like him better,
which is how that works.
It's look, they've been letting me
live in the house rent free for a while now me too yeah so uh you know i think everybody wins
in this scenario there's some light cleaning and cooking all right you two leonard malton is here. Yay. Oh, man. Tumultuous applause. Yeah. Even the poorest hockey team has phony
spectator crowd noise. Yeah, it is true that they they really do like to pump in that fake
crowd noise. I don't know what it does for anybody. I mean, I guess it's somewhat soothing to pretend that there's
a crowd there, but...
Frankly, I'm into it.
I mean, I don't watch sports, but my son-in-law
does, and
Jesse does somewhat, and
when I walk by
the TV set, and
hockey is their primary
interest, and
you hear the... Well, you expect to hear those crowds.
They had sake applause for the dog show, the dog show that airs on Thanksgiving.
Oh, yeah.
They had applause coming in, and those dogs were loving it.
Yeah, because those dogs, you know, that's what they're there for, is the applause.
Pretty much.
The applause, Doug, please.
The applause.
Much.
Be a pause, Doug, please.
Be a pause.
We should mention we're going to play the, you know,
old school version of the Leonard Maltin game,
but there is a reason that I call it the old version because there is available flying off the shelves, I'm sure,
King of Movies, the Leonard Maltin game.
I think, I feel like it's a perfect holiday gift.
Well, or even post-holiday gift.
Okay, so that's what you're saying.
When January comes along and you're bored, send somebody a gift.
They'll really respond.
You'll get an actual thank you note if you do that in January.
actual thank you note if you do that in January. Anyway, our mutual friend Tim League, the co-founder of Alamo Drafthouse Cinemas, is a board game nut. He has two daughters and
his wife, Carrie, they all like board games. So a colleague of Tim's named Ant Timpson from New Zealand, a Kiwi guy.
Filmmaker.
Invented this variation.
This one isn't really a movie trivia game at all, Doug.
It's a see if you can write a review that sounds like it belongs in my book
by bluffing your fellow players.
Oh, yeah. I would clean up in that game because I would just, every time I'd say the movie was too long. like it belongs in my book by bluffing your fellow players.
Oh yeah. I would clean up in that game. Cause I would just, every time I'd say the movie was too long.
Over long.
From over length.
Suffers from over length.
Later a Broadway musical.
There is also an app version which they released and i believe it's on all the platforms but uh
you can get that as well it's 2.99 and that makes it easy if you want to play with friends all over
the place they don't have to purchase the physical game if they're not into holding stuff in their
hands which some people are not some people are crazy It's so much more fun to have the physical.
I agree, but it's neat.
The board game comes with game pieces and you know,
you win the crown.
It has all the accoutrements of any good board game.
Yeah. So seek it out and get it and speaking of holiday gifts sam levine is here
oh i'm i'm i'm somebody's holiday gift i'm sure yeah uh how's it going sam
oh everything's just fine doug thanks for asking.
Quick question for everybody before we start the game.
You can answer in any order.
I just always like to check in with you about,
I feel like I might know Leonard's answer already from doing this in previous years, but what is your favorite holiday feature film?
Well, it comes down to the same small handful that everybody, I think, would answer with.
I guess it's Miracle on 34th Street, the original, with Edmund Nguyen as Chris Kringle and young Natalie Wood. It's just a wonderful movie that John Hughes defaced
some decades later.
And I love it.
I love it in black and white,
in the original form.
And I love, you know,
A Christmas Story.
I was always a Gene Shepard fan.
And if you don't know who he was, he was a wonderful storyteller.
Did that in print and on radio for many, many years in the New York area.
It was kind of a, kind of a legend and it's his voice and his storytelling
skill that helps make a Christmas story such a delightful film.
Yeah. And I, you know, delightful film.
Yeah. And I, you know, unless they've suddenly changed it up,
you can watch it for 24 hours on Christmas on TBS and TNT.
And actually, and now they've added a hockey crowd noises, you know, because they're so used to doing that now for the sporting events.
I was kind of taken aback by,
I was watching something where it was a game show type thing where they
pointed out that at the end of miracle on 34th street,
Santa leaves his cane behind,
like, I guess sort of as a gift or proof that he was there.
But wouldn't a man with a cane,
how did he get home without his cane?
Not well.
He rolled?
Yeah.
You see some reindeer just carrying Santa.
He jumped on Rudolph and just hoped for the best
you guys are spoil sports
that's all I can say, kill joys and spoil sports
well I just never understood why didn't he leave something
that he doesn't need as badly as his cane or was his cane all for show
what would you propose exactly doesn't you know he doesn't eat as badly as his cane or was his cane all for show his muffler
what you know what would you propose exactly i would take his muffler
um but uh those are both uh excellent choices of course uh for your favorite holiday film what
about you jesse um i would say in recent years i love arthur christmas i think it is such a sweet movie
and not enough people saw it and it always makes me smile um it's an unsung gem it's a delightful
movie and then you know who doesn't love home alone or or the santa claus things like that yeah who doesn't
show me the guy sam what do you think doug you know what i'm gonna say before i say it
i do ho ho ho now i have a machine gun.
The greatest Christmas movie ever made, Die Hard.
I thought for a second there,
you were just filling out your Christmas cards.
I only send non-denominational holiday cards.
You know, in earlier parts of the show, I even told people, you know,
don't say Home Alone or Die Hard. You know, I earlier parts of the show, I even told people, you know, don't say Home Alone or Die Hard.
You know, I listed all the all the usual suspects.
And that's my favorite Christmas movie, Usual Suspects.
But it's hard to you know, the Christmas classics are classics for a reason.
And whether you want to argue about whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas movie, it certainly got a lot of Christmas elements in it.
So I think it deserves to be there.
And Lethal Weapon, not so much.
Yeah, that's a fake Christmas movie.
Christmas is there, but it really is just in the background it's it's a plot point or
two in in die hard so that's right it's it's an extra character in die hard i mean you can even
hear the little jingle bells as they reveal the gun taped to mclean's back at the end come on
come on uh all right so sam's down for die hard and and now it's time to play the Leonard Moulton game.
First person to two points wins this round
and moves on to later on in the show.
Sam will go last to give everyone else a shot at winning.
That seems fair.
What could be fairer than that?
I'm fine with this.
I have no problem with that.
Sam can bring it up with the judges later if he has a problem.
Jesse will go first.
Oh, Lord.
Jesse gets to pick between three categories.
Okay.
Jesse gets to pick between three categories.
Okay.
And, you know, I won't tell you exactly what the title of the category refers to until you've picked one. Would you like Eight Crazy Names or Fisherman's Dwarf or Turkey Coma?
Oh, Fisherman's Dwarf. All right. or turkey coma oh fisherman's dwarf all right fisherman's dwarf these are movies uh movies that that have the name of a dwarf in the title okay so one of our you know one of the seven one of the seven dwarves, I'm not going to go crazy into other
dwarves that you might not have heard of.
So one of the names of the seven dwarves is in the title of this movie.
Okay.
From 1993.
Okay.
Leonard gave it two and a half stars.
Standard.
It's quite the go-to.
I remember as a kid, my dad would always be like,
that one should get three stars or that should only be two.
And I'd always just be like, dad, just relax.
I have gotten so much crap over the years.
Oh, hello, Jude.
Our coughing dog has just entered the room.
Hello, Jude. Our coughing dog has just entered the room. Hello, Jude.
I've gotten so much crap over the years about him giving everything two and a half stars.
And I had a friend who actually made me a shirt that said two and a half stars.
Come here, Jude.
Come here.
Let's not cough at Uncle Doug.
Come here.
We're not going to cough at Uncle Doug.
I wish you hadn't said a dog entered the room so everyone would think that Leonard was making those
noises.
Okay.
1993.
Yes.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
Engagingly performed
but malnourished.
Ah!
Someone didn't feed this movie enough.
They didn't.
And then
Leonard listed nine names.
So how many names
do you think it'll take you,
Jesse Moulton,
to discern what movie this is?
Let's start with
seven.
Okay, starting off at seven now it goes to leonard sir you can do it in less or do you want to challenge your daughter
you're allowed to challenge me it's okay i challenge you it's okay
see now sam's sitting over there going, this isn't right.
Sam's got it all right.
I was going to go negative three.
Of course you were.
For sure.
Do you know, Sam?
Do you already know?
I mean, I have what I think is a very good guess.
Of course you do.
Sam is very good at this game.
I am well aware.
I train people to go up against him and then they...
Please make a documentary out of you trying to train people to beat Sam.
Here's your seven names, Jessie.
Yes.
I feel good about this.
Okay.
I think you can do it.
Christopher McDonald. Buck Henry,
Ossie Davis, Kevin Pollack, Daryl Hannah,
Burgess Meredith, and Anne Margaret.
Only two names remain beyond all of those.
Okay.
Grumpy Old Men. Grumpy title.
Grumpy Old Men.
That is correct.
You did it, Jesse.
You're on the board. So proud of you, Jesse.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
This is stressful.
Yeah, it's going to get, the heat's about to turn up.
I know.
I know it is.
It's a tough category.
And then from Sam, we'll switch the order around.
We'll go from Sam to Leonard and then to Jesse.
Okay.
That might not even get to you, Jesse, if Sam.
I mean, that's the goal, but I'm ready.
Okay.
Sam, would you like the aforementioned eight crazy names,
turkey coma, or jingle most of the way
hmm let's go with turkey coma all right turkey coma it is
now i gotta find it oh i-oh. I will, though.
I promise you.
Okay.
The year is 2001.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
And the category means it's movies featuring dinner and death.
Ah, okay.
So right now I can narrow it down to at least five movies.
Okay.
2001, two stars.
Leonard calls this movie a big, long tease.
And that it is slowly paced.
And he names nine performers
that give their all to this slog of a movie.
And how many?
Corey DeLeonard.
Remind me how many stars he gave it?
Two.
Two stars.
Yeah, merely two stars and nine names not even two and a half
two stars
what do you bid sam
the horse just wandering to your room
all right
what's the total number of names again please
nine
use it in a sentence
what is the etymology
I'll say What is the etymology?
I'll say seven names.
Okay.
Leonard, do you think you can do it in less than seven?
I don't, and I think
Sam sincerely does not know
what the movie is, so I'm going to challenge him.
Ooh, burn.
Oh, wow.
Burn.
Wow.
You're going to let Sam Levine hear seven names.
He said challenge, Doug.
Let's go.
Give me those names.
Yes.
Sam, your seven names are Hazel Goodman
the great Hazel Goodman
of course
Jelko Ivonek
Francesca Neri
Frankie R. Faison
Gary Oldman
Giancarlo Giannini
and Ray Liotta,
with two names remaining.
Tell us what film this is, Sam.
Well, if it's got Zeljko Ivanik and Ray Liotta in it,
I think that's got to be Hannibal.
That is correct.
Ooh.
Wow.
Wow.
Hannibal is correct.
One point for Sam.
The man's a champion.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, he's good at this.
I tried to warn you guys.
I'll be honest, I didn't really have a very good idea
of what it was based on the clues,
but I love some Zeljko Ivanik,
and I'm sure that's not at all how that actor pronounces his name,
by the way.
I'm sure I've been saying it wrong for 20 years.
I say Ivanek, but yeah, that's, you know.
That's how it looks.
In the ballpark.
And Zeljko is the real rough part.
Yeah.
Okay.
So Jesse has a point.
Sam has a point. But Jesse gets to go first in this next round.
One moment. Excuse me. Five minutes, Mr.
Ivonek.
Jesse goes first and then it goes to Leonard and then to Sam Yes sir
Jesse gets to pick between 8 Crazy Nights
I'm sorry names
The actual expression is 8 Crazy Nights
8 Crazy Nights
Or
Jingle Most of the Way
Or
Christmas Steve
Well then Christmas what? Steve Or Christmas Steve.
Well, then.
Christmas what?
Steve.
Christmas Steve.
Steve.
It's not Christmas Eve, Leonard.
It's Christmas Steve.
I get it now.
Yay.
I'm slow, but I get there.
Let's go jingle most of the way.
Okay.
The year.
Oh, I'm sorry.
The category means this is movies about singers.
Okay.
The year is 2013.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
He says this movie has great faces and supporting roles and form Trump's content.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Interesting that Leonard was so political even back in 2013.
And then 15 names are listed.
How many out of 15 do you think it'll take you to figure this out, Jessie?
Let's start with nine again.
Nine is a solid opening bid.
Thank you.
I feel like Leonard can also bid.
Maybe he's ready to challenge again.
I'll try for seven names.
He says seven, Sam.
What do you think?
Sam says negative 52.
No.
I mean,
that's a lot of names, but
if anybody... So you said there's 15
names total?
And Jesse said...
I said nine.
My dad said seven.
Wow.
Oh, man.
The pressure.
The pressure really is on.
All right.
Well, Leonard doesn't have any points yet.
So I'll say, Leonard, go ahead and name that movie.
And that's why you're his favorite kid.
I just want Leonard to get a point.
That's fair.
All right.
We'll see if he can.
Molton.
Seven names.
Would you like the clues again?
I sure would.
Okay, this movie is about a singer.
Or singers, if you will.
This movie's about singers.
2013 is the year it came out.
Two and a half stars from you.
Great faces in supporting roles form Trump's
content and your seven names are Helen Hong Alex Karpovsky Stark Sands, Adam Driver, Janine Cereles, C-E-R-E-L-E-S, Jerry Grayson, and Max Casella.
No, give me the real names now.
Mm-hmm.
Give me the real names now.
So the only truly good clue there, I feel,
is that it's Adam Driver lowly builds.
I don't know how often that's happened.
Any guesses?
Mom, Pop Kettle's Lump of Coal? Nailed it. Any guesses? Mom-pop kettle's lump of coal?
Nailed it.
No, I asked you your favorite Christmas movie earlier.
This time I'm asking you.
Sam, do you know what it is?
I mean, am I allowed to guess now?
Don't guess, but just say whether or not you know it.
I think I know what it is, yes.
Okay.
Yeah, so if Leonard can't figure this out,
Sam's going to be our winner today for this part of the show.
He'll have to go up against others. No, I have absolutely no guess.
But I'm noodling around the clue that you said singer,
and then you sort of stopped yourself and said singers.
Yeah, classic game show host screw up on my part.
I just wanted to be, more than one person sings in the film,
but I believe the film is about a singer.
Would this be a Coen Brothers movie?
Have you given me your official answer yet?
Because I cannot give you any more.
Okay.
I'm going to try Inside Llewyn Davis.
That is correct.
That's what I think it is.
Yeah.
That is correct. You did it, Leonard it is, yeah. That is correct.
You did it, Leonard.
We have a three-way tie.
Wow.
And here I thought it was Ma and Pa's kettle of coal.
I could not accept that because he forgot to phrase it as a question.
There you go.
I see.
All right, so we have a three-way tie, and Sam just challenged Leonard. So we're going to-way tie and Sam just challenged Leonard.
So we're going to start with Jesse and then go to Sam and Jesse gets to pick a
category. This is going to be the determining round.
Oh boy.
That's going to decide who wins this thing.
I'm so excited that everybody has a chance.
Bring back asparagus pea.
Eight crazy names is still an option
And then in addition to eight crazy names
We've also got
Let me give you two more categories
Christmas Steve
Right
Or
Jack Frost
Jack Frost. Ooh.
Jack Frost, Christmas Steve, or Eight Crazy Names?
Eight Crazy Names.
All right.
Eight Crazy Names is pretty much what it sounds like.
It's a movie where Leonard listed eight names.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, so this is a tough one because that's really not that great of a clue okay but here's the rest of the clues the year is
2013 again okay inside lewin davis two stars from leonard for this one. He says that this movie is a cartoonish
yarn.
He also says
that
it doesn't
look real.
Ooh.
Uh-huh.
It's real fake.
And he names
eight names, as I mentioned. mentioned yeah how many names do you think
let's start with eight shall we
okay that's a good starting bid sam she says eight names
well doug as you know you've given wonderful clues
um Five names
Leonard
Well I might as well
I might as well say four names
Sure
Because it gives me the same odds
As if I said eight names
Well You can I said eight names.
Well, you can't say eight names.
No, no, I know that.
Oh, okay.
I'm bidding four, and I'm going to take my punishment.
No, actually, I'm going to take the punishment.
Yeah, see, this is where we get into the whole we love each other thing.
I'm going to go ahead and say name it, because I wouldn't do that wouldn't do that to my sam well no well you've done it to me anyway now i can't win yeah you
box sam out if you don't bid ah okay which would you prefer which is fine no no which is fine
which is fine jesse i don't want to do it to you but you know this is why i like playing heads up
against uh uh jeff but uh no if you want to make leonard name it i say name it let's see if you can do it
he's shrugging i'm willing to try why don't you try okay all right your three names yeah oh god are no he gets four i think four names oh four okay well that
whale you hear these names that's really good
your four names are amari nalasko cole hauser rashaukvik, and Yulia Snigir.
Snigir.
It's easy for you to say.
Yulia Snigir.
Do you remember a movie from 23 that you thought was cartoonish yarn
that doesn't look real?
2013, right?
Mm-hmm.
Do many other critics use the word
yarn nowadays?
And if not, why not?
Do you know what is killing me? think i would have gotten this of course you would i think you would have i think i think i know about yarn leonard is that
um i find that you use it for movies that you like and movies that you don't like
so a movie can just that it's a yarn doesn't necessarily mean you're
attacking it.
No, no, no, no, no. It's, it's, it's a particular kind of movie. Yeah.
We either have a certain tone to it or a certain approach. Yeah.
Like an approach that I would love to describe more fully if I knew what
movie we were talking about. i don't well wait let
me ask you guys a question which one of you wants to come back to face the other winners more
because i'm i'm happy to give what i think is a hint you if you prefer, Leonard. It's all on you, sir.
Yes, give me a hint then.
Okay, I think based on all of those Russian names
and the fact that Cole Hauser is in it,
I think this may be the last Die Hard movie,
which is called A Good Day to Die Hard.
But I can't say with certainty because I only saw it once,
but I know Cole Hauser is in it and it takes place in Russia.
That's some hint.
Well, I like giving very, very specific hints to my pal.
Yeah.
I mean, that's what you think is the answer.
I might as well go for that.
I mean, I saw the movie, too, when it was when it was new.
And you know what it is, Leonard? It's a yarn.
It's a yarn that I almost immediately forgot.
So I'm going to take a swing at this and say
it's a good day to die hard.
That is correct.
Leonard, you did it.
Against Jesse.
I'm excited that Leonard's moving on to the next portion of the show.
Hopefully the, you know, the dog will still be out of the room.
Can I just tell, so this has been obviously as we're doing 17 zooms a day uh has been an issue
and we're not alone uh there are many people and very the funny videos that keep popping up of
weathermen having their dogs appear in the corner knocking maps over or infants oh yeah children
walking around so uh my dad got to do an interview for Godfather 3.
Let's not talk about the film itself because there's no need.
But he got to interview Francis Ford Coppola, Al Pacino, and Andy Garcia,
which was incredibly cool.
Via Zoom, not ideal, but hey.
And, you know, so we got the coughing dog is away in one room.
I've got the quiet dog next to me with his collar off.
Cause that's how we keep him from making noise.
And Al Pacino's cat and dog would not stop barking and meowing.
And I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my life because
Al going, come on, come on now. Someone's got, come on, come on.
Someone's got to get them out. Come on.
One of the funniest things that's happened.
He doesn't go quiet down. Come on, come on, someone's got to get him out, come on. One of the funniest things that's happened.
He doesn't go, huah, quiet down.
He always wants to take the animals away.
I love the idea that Pacino's dog would sound like that.
Hoo, ha.
Thank you everybody for being here this is a historic uh meeting of uh personalities and a big
big loss for sam levine today you know what it's a uh in some ways i feel like i won
because anytime anytime i can lose the game to its namesake, that's,
that's not, that's not a real loss. That's a victory,
no matter how I look at it.
You may have lost it, but you're also the reason he won.
So I feel like the hero's journey here.
Yeah, no, I think it's, you know what?
That's my Christmas gift to the other rounds.
Winners is the gift of Leonard Moulton.
Well, thank you for that.
Compliments are much appreciated.
Have you back later in the show,
but I have to say goodbye to Jesse and to Sam.
And we'll be right back with the exciting conclusion. time. $10 gets you in to see me and three of my comedy friends telling jokes,
playing a game from Doug Loves Movies,
and hanging out. The last
show was over three hours
long. We'll see if we can break that
record. Go to RushTix.com
for tickets. That's RushTix.com.
Caw-caw!
Doug Loves
Movies!
We're back and we're down to the four so-called winners
who will battle it out for Leonard Maltin Games Supremacy.
Welcome back.
Your dreams are your ticket out.
John Jordan, Leonard Maltin, Jeff Tate, and Dan the man, Van
Kirk. Let's go, boys.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome back, everybody.
I can't believe I made it this far.
I can't believe that
in the virtual
green room, you pointed out
that this is really a fine
selection of white dudes.
But, you know, at least with you and young
sean jordan at least there's a long uh you know wide age difference so there's diversity in that
sense will you call me young sean jordan again please that's your rap name anything
anything to stay away from having to say old letter malton because that is not nice this is fun hype williams presents young sean jordan i'll take it
um who thinks they're going to get eliminated first that's a silly question i take it back
but thank you to everybody for for being here for participating in the 12 Guests format,
even though we've had to do it in a different style than we're used to.
Hopefully next year we'll get back to live shows in New York and L.A.
I usually do one of each, and we get 24 or more folks on this thing.
But let's continue
the game. It's now
single elimination, so
if you miss something,
thanks for being here. Goodbye.
You're the weakest
link. Goodbye.
So we're going to start
with
Sean, and then go to
Leonard, then Jeff, Leonard then Jeff and then Dan
so Dan
you might sit comfortably over there and not even get
involved in the first skirmish
happy to avoid
I'm flexing can you guys hear it
I'm flexing
let's roll
that's some young Sean Jordan move right there
so you get to pick a
category for us to play, Sean.
Would you like
Christmas Steve
or
Black Christmas
or Jack
Frost?
Black Christmas.
Alright, Black Christmas.
Do you have a feeling for what this category
is sean could be one of two things i want to say like horror like you know christmas horror films
or obviously like a black ensemble cast film something like that oh okay well wrong and wrong
this is the films of jack black it's just one uh one dude that we're looking at it's his films
if sam levine are playing he'd know immediately what movie it is because he's very good with years
we'll see how you guys do 1997 is the year sean okay uh mr leonard malden gives this movie two
and a half stars he He calls it watchable,
which you have to love that in a movie when you can,
you're allowed to look at it.
You gotta watch it. Yeah.
How do you get the two and a half stars though? Watch it.
Podcasts don't get that.
Not this one.
It's weakened by lapses of credibility,
which as we all know, really can cripple a motion picture and our experience watching it.
But we'll start with you, Sean, and 11 names.
How many names do you think it would take you to figure out what the heck this is?
Say eight.
It's taken eight out of 11 names, Leonard.
How do you feel about that?
Do you think you'd go less, or would you like to challenge?
In order to stay in the game, I think I'm going to challenge.
That's a smart play.
Really?
Eight names?
Yeah.
Shit.
that's a smart play uh because eight names you know shit um i didn't mean to pit the two of you against each other that's not possible not possible gate but uh are you ready for your
eight names do you like the clues again sean uh you know i think i got it. Throw it at me. I'm born on a green light, my friend.
I'm living in a red sign.
I don't like what's happening.
Okay, eight names.
Here you go buddy um we got sophie enokio okonido okay okonido sophie okonido yeah i typed it out wrong but that's her um jack black yeah he's not in a very big role in this film.
Then Richard Lineback, Stephen Spinella, Matilda May, J.K. Simmons,
Tess Harper, and Diane Venora,
leaving three names that are crucial to figuring out the title of this movie,
in my opinion.
But maybe you know it sean what is it
well i don't know it i don't i don't even have a
i can't even uh fucking oh man i can't think of what he was just kind of in besides like anchorman or something and that was obviously
after that um i i don't know man i don't know i terminator 2
you don't have to laugh so hard
does everybody else know it no i have no idea there is super i everybody else know it? No, I have no idea, Sean.
It's a super tough one.
I think I know it.
Yeah, of course Jeff knows it, because
Jeff is the next
Sam Levine. He's really
gotten quite good
at this stuff. What is it,
Jeff? Is it the jackal?
It is the jackal.
He gets his arm shot off,'t he he's yeah yeah he does
yeah damn that's right it's an unfortunate movie it was directed by michael cayden jones who
usually does some pretty decent work but uh they were already in trouble with leonard malton when
you you would try to remake the Day of the Jackal. And then
you call it the Jackal.
We don't even care how long it takes.
Damn.
Thank you.
Thank you, Sean Darden.
You're a delightful man,
player. I appreciate it, Beck.
That's you all.
Hi, Sean. Hi, Sean.
He's gone, you guys.
Did you say Don Kishon?
No.
You made that up entirely.
You just made that up.
Let's see.
What do we do now? What do we do now
what do we do without Sean
Leonard has a point
good for you Leonard
so now we go to
Jeff who's next in line
and then as Sam would happily
point out if he was here then we
reverse the order so it goes back
at Leonard so it's Jeff
versus Leonard Dan just hanging out i'm happy to
do it um oh by the way should you should you tell the people the top three bills actors in the
jackal oh i love that you uh mentioned that because it would maybe drive some people crazy
uh they are sydney poitier richard gear and bruce willis
very disappointing movie especially considering the cast but anyway
thank you for that leonard uh and also thank you for putting off the inevitable because now jeff
is going to tear you limb from limb no i'm not leonard i'm not i promise no he's gonna do it it's gonna be
so gentle you're gonna hardly notice uh you get to pick between three categories jeff we
like the aforementioned christmas steve or jack frost or it's a wonderful lie
It's a wonderful lie.
Ooh.
Ooh.
A great title. Oh.
I'm going to say Jack Frost.
I kind of want to know if Jack Frost is also Jack Black movies.
No, it isn't.
No, it's not.
You know, you walked right into this one, Jeff,
because you picked a category that I think Leonard might have a slight
advantage because Jack Frost is movies with a character named Jack that
Leonard did not love.
In other words, Leonard
gave these movies with a character named Jack
a chilly reception.
Okay.
Hence the name Jack Frost.
2014
is the year, Jeff.
Two and a half stars
from Leonard. He calls this movie
a reinvention
and also
unexceptional.
And he names
ten names. How many
names
do you need to figure this one out,
Jeff Tate?
Unexceptional?
Someone named Jack? Leonard didn't care
for it? I think I'm going to need ten
names.
Okay. I really thought'm going to need 10 names. Okay.
I really thought a bolder bid was on
it.
What do you think, Leonard?
I'll give
it a shot at nine names.
He's saying nine names. Dan Van Kirk
comes into play. He's out on the
pitch. What is he going to do?
2014. Leonard knows he going to do? 2014.
Leonard knows he didn't like it.
Somebody named Jack is in it.
I'm hoping they were top build.
You know what?
I'm going to leave it to the man.
Leonard Mullen, name that movie.
You just gave me an idea for a fun game where we just
name a movie and then leonard tells us what how many stars he thinks he gave it that is a fun game
because i bet you'd be right a lot of the time but you still sometimes you know two and a half
three stars you know how can you remember exactly? I couldn't.
Yeah.
It'd be fun to watch you take a swing at it.
Especially one where maybe.
Fun to watch my flop sweat is what you're saying.
Yeah.
But your opinion doesn't change much over time.
You don't really have the, you know,
you're not interested in going back and watching movies over again.
You need to give them a second chance.
No, usually, usually that's inadvertent.
Yeah. It's just,
the wife wants to watch something and you're like, I'll watch it again.
What the hell?
Okay. Say hello to Alice for me.
All right.
But also we'll see what happens here.
Cause you get nine names to name this film from 2014 that
you gave two and a half stars and called the reinvention and unexceptional and uh the nine
names are jemma chan seth ayotte nonso a noszi here's one you might recognize
Colm Fior
Elena Villacanova
Peter Anderson
Kira Knightley
now we're getting into the meat of it
Kenneth Burana
Kevin Costner
oh
you only have one
actor left that you do not get to hear.
Any idea what this is?
No.
Me either. I have no idea.
I know it.
I know Jeff knows it.
Jeff knows it for sure.
Draft! Draft!
Draft!
Thank you so much for playing, Leonard.
The movie is the top person.
It still might not help you come up with a title
because it's got a silly subtitle,
but the top-billed person is Chris Pine.
So, of course, it is the...
Oh, is it?
When he played Jack Ryanyan yeah oh colon i don't feel so bad that
i forgot it yeah well it's jack ryan shadow recruit so uh it was the die was cast against
you that you would uh come up with that but i hope uh you're having a wonderful
holiday season say hello to the rest of the family and the pets and everybody get the leonard malton
king of movies game uh it's a fun game you can play with your friends i gave you a plug anyway
here at the end leonard even though you're not supposed to get one. Well, that's very generous of you.
That shows the true holiday spirit.
Yeah, it does.
It sure does. Now, see you later.
I'm so happy I got second place.
Oh, man. Don't say that.
Yeah, because now it's time for you to lose.
You might get first place. You never know.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Well, let's see. I thought Jeff was being more threatening when in actuality he was just
pointing out what could really happen.
When you started that last one, I was hoping it was going to end up being
Jack Reacher, like when it would go around to me.
I was going to do that 10 names and then
i was gonna be like negative three damn um all right so hi roseman pike since dan was a challenger
jeff jim gets to pick again and uh dan it's gonna come to you to you after Jeff's first bid.
So good luck to both of you.
There's only one winner.
And then there's another guy who I also like very much.
Happy to be one of those.
Not the winner.
I think I'd rather be the other one.
I don't want to be the winner either.
I know, but then what if I win? Then you are the other one. I don't want to be the winner either. I know, but then what if I win?
Then you are the other one.
Yeah.
Jeff, which category would you like?
We've said it before.
We'll say it again.
Christmas Steve or It's a Wonderful Lie
or Christmas
on the Cape?
All right.
I'm going to say
Christmas Steve.
Oh, okay.
And I hope these are Jack Black movies.
No. Steve Martin movies. Oh, okay. And I hope these are Jack Black movies. No, Steve Martin movies.
Oh!
Yeah, Steve
Martin, so I
still think it's anybody's ballgame,
because who doesn't love Steve Martin?
And he's pretty aware of most
of his movies.
This one, Jeff, is
from 2009.
The late
Leonard Maltin gave it three stars.
I'm just joking around because he
just left the game.
Yeah, he's no longer here in the game.
He's no longer in the game, yeah.
He says it's got appealing
performances
and it's highly
pleasurable
escapism.
Highly pleasurable and yet
only worth three stars.
13
names listed by
Mr. Maltin.
All right. I'm going to say
13. That's what I said. yes all right jeff says 13 dan okay well
i'll go 12.
okay this is exciting because jeff already told us about a time that he hoped that they would come back around to him and he's gonna slam in a negative bid oh dan says just the 12 names so what do you
think jeff i think um i'm going to say 10 okay okay and you want to go lower than 10 10. Okay.
Dan, you want to go lower than 10?
You said it was from 2009.
It's escapism.
Highly pleasurable escapism. Highly pleasurable.
I don't agree.
Oh.
Oh.
2009.
Okay.
I might not get the chance to talk again.
So before I do happy holidays to both of you and there's no two other
people.
I would rather have come down to the end of this game with,
especially you,
Doug,
it would have been weird to get to the end and you not be here.
I know.
Yeah.
Knock on wood. I made it through the whole here. I know. Knock on wood.
I made it through the whole thing.
I know.
All right.
Love you both.
Jeff Tate.
Why did I say Jeff Tate?
Jeff Tate.
Name that movie.
Wait, you're giving him 10 names?
I don't.
I have to.
Why do you have to?
Because I feel like if I say nine,
he's definitely gonna say name it and I'm not going to know it.
And what if there's, and I know what I don't know,
which is something I've been working a lot through therapy.
And what if there's a chance he doesn't know it?
Cause I feel like he would have gone way harder on me unless he's trying to
trick me like Rocky did in Rocky 3.
I'm going to tell him
to name it. I just think the 10
names is right on the precipice of
that he's definitely going to get
it.
9 is me definitely not getting it.
I don't know about definitely not.
Let's stop at 9 and see where you're at.
Just for fun.
Alright, i love that
i'm just gonna win no matter what
i think that's my prediction i could be wrong i agree with you i agree with you i've been playing
a movie game with him uh online you know on periscope and twitter every day for over 250 days at this point.
Yes, that is true.
So I feel like I know how he's going to do with something. I try not to set it up so that we'll see.
Doug, I love you for setting these up because it gives me something
to look forward to in the week and then certainly in the day
when I get to do it.
But there's this other side of it that makes me miss,
especially you two, and this being in the same place,
maybe a cocktail in our hand and, like, having these fun moments.
So thanks. I mean it.
But also it makes me sad, but hopeful.
Jeff, stay sober. Don't drink just because Dan just brought it up.
You can have a mocktail just as long as we're all sitting around having a fun time.
You'll have some Gatorade and he'll like it.
Hell yeah.
I miss you too, Dan.
Here's your nine names.
And then we'll give you one more after that.
Let's see if Dan knows it after.
Bruce Altman, Nora Dunn, Caitlin Fitzgerald, Hunter Parrish, Zoe Kazan,
Alexandra Wentworth, Mary Kay Place, Rita Wilson, and Lake Bell.
That's the nine names.
Does that ring any bells for you, Dan?
I have a guess, but I don't know if it's right at all.
So maybe it's a guess.
And Jeff, are you there yet?
Or do you need that one more name?
I think I have a guess.
I think Nora Dunn really helps.
Yeah, nobody ever says that.
Right, right.
But it also is like I was like ballparking an era.
I'm not Sam Levine with a year. So I was ballparking an era i'm not the i'm not sam levine with the year so i was
ballparking the era and norah dunn kind of eliminates one of my guesses that's what i mean
yeah i'm just so happy you're guessing she's a good actress i just it was just a funny
opportunity no it was a great exchange somebody for no reason okay um you ready for your 10 name, Jeff? Should help a lot.
Yes.
It's John Krasinski.
Oh, that really, okay. That locks it down.
Yeah. So what's the answer?
It's complicated.
Just tell me the answer.
You guys are not going to believe this. That was my guess.
I swear to God. of course i believe i swear i could
only think of one like 2009 ish but then i was like i don't know that falls into the version
no offense to the man we love leonard walt but i was like is that escapism but i'm like
especially is are you escaping if the movie's called complicated
it's complicated but it's also
it's escapist because
it's all
very wealthy the characters
all have wealth and style
you know like the you know
everybody rules over like Meryl Streep's
kitchen and that yeah and scarves
and stuff yeah so it's
it's definitely you know
and it's and it is very it's escapism in the sense that you know nothing too heavy goes down
other than you know see john krasinski would have thrown me off i have no memory of him being in
that movie i still like if i had gone nine i'm sure jeff you would have gone eight and i could
have just doubled down on my one hunch all the way till who knows what happened but man that's crazy that it was the one weird ass movie
i thought of and my uncle ken loves that movie he i guess he escaped into it too he just loves
that kitchen does he talk about kitchens a lot they all talk about the kitchen the beginning
of leonard's review is light as air, easy to take, romantic comedy.
All right.
Well, that would have – see, my other guess was Pink Panther.
Ooh.
Yeah, that's a good guess.
Which is from around then.
Yeah, that's a good guess.
All right.
Well, Jeff, you did it.
You won the 2020 World Guest of Christmas.
Oh, boy, I can't believe it.
Dan, thank you for being here.
Jeff, do you have something you want to plug?
Just Bandcamp.
JeffTay.Bandcamp.com.
Yeah, on Fridays, that's when you really want to go because it's cheaper.
Yes.
I don't know if it's cheaper, but I make more money. Oh, that's when you really want to go because it's cheaper. Yes. I don't know if it's
cheaper, but I make more money.
Oh, that's what I meant.
Go on Friday because Jeff gets
more. His cut is bigger on Fridays.
So go
the nearest Friday
that you can
to buy Jeff's
albums.
Congrats again, Jeff.
Thank you for being here.
Oh, my pleasure.
I've got a show to promote on December 26th,
Hot Boxing Day, RushTix.com, $10.
We're going to play a game from Doug Loves Movies,
me and my three comedy guests,
and it's going to be a lot of fun on the day after christmas or
boxing day if you're in canada that's rushtix.com thanks again to everybody who participated in
this show and to producer ryan for putting it all together and as as always, I'm too old for this.
Now it's time for Doug
to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold,
his viewing prowess
makes him cocky.
There's no room
in his heart for you
cause Doug loves movies.